#it’s even real forgiving if you zone out for a minute

[therealcocoshady]

Fun fact : for a minute, I actually considered a different scenario. Like Reader being like "I don't mind if you cheat. We could be in an open relationship" and at first, he'd be like "hey, that's cool 😏" only to end up not feeling it at all. First of all because he doesn't want to share his girl and also because she's the only one he wants to be with. Maybe I could still write that. What do you think ?

I know you have a lot on your plate right now but whenever you have time, this would be a really good read👀 we're here for it👍🏻

Kinktober - Day 19 - Cheating (alternate)

A/N : here is the second idea I worked with for the Cheating prompt for Kinktober 🙊. I hope you enjoy it. It is way less angsty and I hope you guys forgive me for making you cry with that other one 🥺.

CW : cheating - open relationship - jealousy - fluff

You and Marshall had been seeing each other for a while now, and even though it wasn’t official in the traditional sense, there was something undeniably real between the two of you. You liked him, a lot. More than you had expected to. But you were also pragmatic, grounded in the reality that his lifestyle wasn't accommodating for anyone, let alone a new relationship. He was famous, often on the road, and had a history. A messy one when it came to women, not to mention that this track record was pretty public. You knew about his past, about the infidelity, the chaos that came with his fame. It didn’t bother you as much as you thought it would have, though. He had been upfront, honest about everything, and in return, you had been honest with him. « How about we just have an open relationship ? » you had suggested one night. Marshall had raised an eyebrow, looking at you like you were a nutcase. « You serious ? » he asked, laughing under his breath. « Yeah. I mean, you're often travelling for work. When you’re not doing shows, you’re flying to LA to record. And I’m sure you meet new people all the time. Women. Attractive women. I'm not naive, I get it. And I don't want to be one of those girls who's constantly worrying or wondering. It makes sense. As long as we're honest with each other, what's the harm ? » you shrugged.

He had taken a second to think about it. On the surface, it did like a win-win for him. Freedom to do what he wanted without the guilt or secrecy that had plagued his past. It wasn’t that he didn’t care about you—he did, more than he was willing to admit at the time—but this was a setup that could work for the both of you. He’d still have you, still get to enjoy the time in your presence and he’d have the freedom he thought he needed. « Alright » he said slowly, giving you a crooked smile. « You sure about this ?  You had nodded. « As long as we’re honest. That’s all that matters ».

-

It had been a couple of months since you had both agreed to the open relationship arrangement. He was in Los Angeles for a work trip, and everything felt normal. Or at least, it was supposed to. You had fallen into a rhythm that worked for you. He would text when he could, call when the time zones allowed, and in turn, you went about your own life. But something shifted for him while he was out in California. After a long day of meetings and studio sessions, he found himself at a party, surrounded by people, women throwing themselves at him like they always did. There was one girl in particular who caught his eye. She was exactly his type—tall, blonde, and bold, not shy about what she wanted. Normally, this would have been easy for him, a no-brainer. He was allowed to have fun with her, if he wanted. After all, you both had an understanding. He was free to do whatever he wanted when he was on the road. This was the deal. And yet, as the girl leaned in, laughing at something he said, her hand resting on his arm, Marshall felt a knot in his stomach that he couldn’t shake. His thoughts drifted to you, probably asleep in your bed, completely unaware of what was happening. You trusted him. This was the setup you had both agreed on, but all of a sudden, it didn’t feel right. He pulled back, the girl’s smile fading into confusion. « You good? » she asked, looking at him like he’d just broken some unspoken rule. « Yeah, I just… » He trailed off, shaking his head. He didn’t even know how to explain it to himself, let alone someone else. He mumbled something about needing to head out and left the party without another word. As soon as he was outside, the crisp LA air hit him, and the realization settled in: he didn’t want anyone else. He wanted you. Just you. No one else mattered, no matter how much freedom he was supposedly given. The thought of you with anyone else, of you laughing and touching someone else, made his chest tighten in a way he hadn’t expected. Fuck. He needed to get back to Detroit. Now.

-

It was almost 3 a.m. when Marshall’s flight landed. He didn’t bother calling you, didn’t even stop to think about whether or not this was a good idea. He drove straight to your apartment, the adrenaline keeping him awake. By the time he reached your place, his mind was racing, emotions he couldn’t fully process swirling around like a storm. This wasn’t how he imagined the night going. He had tried to stick to the arrangement. Hell, he was the one who thought it would be cool—freedom, no strings, no complications. But the second he almost hooked up with someone else, it had hit him like a punch to the gut. The thought of you with anyone else, of another guy touching you, laughing with you, being with you—it twisted something deep inside him. He didn’t even realize how hard he was knocking on your door until it opened, revealing you, all sleepy and confused, your hair all messy and one of his hoodies hanging loosely off your shoulders.

« Marshall? » you mumbled, squinting up at him. « What are you—what time is it? What’s going on? ». His eyes darted around your apartment as if expecting to find someone else there, another guy maybe hiding in the shadows. « Is there someone here? » he demanded, his voice rougher than he intended. You blinked, still half-asleep, clearly thrown by the question. « What? No. What are you talking about? No one’s here. It’s just me. » Marshall took a deep breath, his fists clenching at his sides. « Good, » he muttered, stepping into the apartment and closing the door behind him. « Because if there was someone, you better tell him to beat it. Right now. ». You frowned, wrapping your arms around yourself, trying to wake up fully. « Marshall, what is going on with you? ». He ran a hand through his hair, pacing the small space of your living room, his frustration bubbling over. « This arrangement we have, » he started, his voice rising, « it fucking sucks. I thought I could handle it, you know? I thought it was cool. But it’s not. It’s bullshit. It feels- it feels like cheating. ». You rubbed your eyes, still struggling to catch up with his words. « The open thing? I thought we were on the same page». « I don’t want anyone else, » he interrupted, his voice shaking with intensity. « Not when I’m on the road, not when I’m here. No one. Ever. Just you. And the thought of you being with anyone else, it drives me crazy. I can’t fucking stand it. » Your expression softened, but you remained quiet, letting him get it all out. « I swear to God, » he continued, his agitation growing, « if some other guy even thinks about touching you, I’ll fucking fight him. I’m serious. I can’t do this anymore. You’re mine, alright? You’re mine. And I’m yours. I don’t care what we agreed on before. This whole thing stops now, because I’m not sharing you with anyone. »

There was a beat of silence as he stood there, breathing heavily, his fists still clenched, waiting for you to respond. But instead of getting upset or arguing back, you just gave him a sleepy smile and took a step toward him. « Are you done yelling like a madman? » you asked softly, your voice calm and warm, even though you were clearly exhausted. Marshall blinked, the tension in his shoulders loosening just a bit. « Yeah, » he muttered, the fire in his voice starting to cool down. « I guess I am ». You nodded, taking his hand gently and tugging him toward the bedroom. « Good, » you said, your tone playful but soothing, « because it’s late, and I’m tired. Come on, let’s go to bed ». He hesitated for a second, still feeling the residual storm of emotions swirling inside him, but the warmth of your hand in his grounded him. Without another word, he let you lead him into the bedroom, the weight on his chest slowly easing as you settled under the covers. For the first time in a long while, it felt right—no deals, no compromises. Just you.

As you both lay there, the quiet of the night wrapping around you, he couldn’t help but whisper, « You’re mine, you know that, right? ». You smiled sleepily against his chest. « Yeah, Marshall. I know. You made it quite clear ». Marshall lay back against the pillows, his breathing finally slowing down, the adrenaline from his late-night outburst starting to fade. You snuggled into him, your body warm and soft against his side. Just as he was starting to relax, thinking maybe he could actually get some sleep after the rollercoaster of emotions he'd just ridden, you murmured something, your voice soft and teasing. « By the way… I love you too, you idiot ». He froze, his body tensing up again, but for a completely different reason this time. He turned his head to look down at you, his brow furrowing in confusion. « What did you just say? ». You lifted your head slightly to meet his gaze, a sleepy smile playing at the corners of your lips. « I said, ‘I love you too,’ » you repeated, a little louder this time, your tone light. « You idiot. ». He blinked, his heart skipping a beat. « I didn’t… I haven’t said- ». You let out a small laugh, your eyes sparkling with affection even through her sleepy haze. « You didn’t need to. You pretty much screamed it ».

Marshall stared at you for a second, feeling caught off guard, but also… relieved. It was true. He hadn’t said the words, but everything he had just unloaded on you had been wrapped up in them. He loved you, he’d known it for a while now, but it hadn’t hit him full force until tonight, until the idea of you being with anyone else had made him feel like he was losing his mind. « Yeah, well… » he muttered, a bit embarrassed now that you’d called him out on it. « I guess I kinda said it without saying it ». You rested your head back on his chest, fingers gently tracing patterns on his skin. « You did. And it’s okay. I love you, Marshall. ». He smiled and placed a kiss on the top of your head. « I love you too. »

[selfhelpforstudents]

How to Stay Motivated and Productive: Crushing Your Goals Without Burning Out

Staying motivated and productive can feel like a constant battle, especially when life throws distractions, stress, and endless to-do lists your way. But fear not! With the right mindset and strategies, you can keep your motivation high and your productivity on point, without burning out. Let’s dive into some tips to help you crush your goals and stay energized along the way.

1. Start with Your "Why"

Before you even think about getting stuff done, take a moment to connect with your “why.” Why do you want to achieve these goals? Whether it’s personal growth, career advancement, or simply getting through your day with your sanity intact, having a clear purpose fuels motivation. When the going gets tough, reminding yourself of the bigger picture can keep you pushing forward.

2. Set Clear, Realistic Goals

Productivity isn’t just about doing more; it’s about doing what matters. Break your goals down into specific, achievable tasks. Instead of vague goals like “get fit” or “study more,” try “exercise for 30 minutes three times a week” or “study for 45 minutes, then take a 15-minute break.” Clear goals give you a roadmap and make it easier to track your progress.

3. Create a Routine That Works for You

Routines are your best friend when it comes to staying productive. They help build momentum and reduce the mental energy spent on deciding what to do next. But remember, there’s no one-size-fits-all routine—what works for someone else might not work for you. Experiment with different schedules until you find one that aligns with your natural rhythms and lifestyle.

4. Embrace the Power of Small Wins

There’s nothing like the rush of ticking something off your to-do list. Those small wins build momentum and keep you motivated to tackle bigger tasks. Break larger projects into smaller, manageable steps, and celebrate each achievement along the way. It’s like giving yourself a mini high-five every time you complete something, and who doesn’t love that?

5. Use the Pomodoro Technique

If you struggle with staying focused, the Pomodoro Technique is a game-changer. Work for 25 minutes, then take a 5-minute break. After four sessions, take a longer break (15-30 minutes). This method not only helps maintain focus but also prevents burnout by ensuring you’re taking regular breaks. It’s a win-win for both your productivity and your well-being.

6. Declutter Your Space, Declutter Your Mind

A cluttered workspace can lead to a cluttered mind. Take a few minutes each day to tidy up your environment. A clean, organized space can help you feel more in control and focused on the task at hand. Plus, it’s one less thing to stress about when you’re trying to get in the zone.

7. Prioritize Self-Care

Productivity isn’t just about grinding 24/7. To stay motivated, you need to take care of yourself. Make sure you’re getting enough sleep, eating well, and staying active. Incorporate activities that relax and recharge you—whether it’s reading, meditating, or just chilling out with a good Netflix show. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup.

8. Mix It Up

Monotony can kill motivation. If you find yourself getting bored or stuck in a rut, mix things up. Try changing your environment—work from a different room or a coffee shop. Switch up your routine or try new productivity tools and techniques. Keeping things fresh can reignite your enthusiasm and keep you engaged.

9. Stay Accountable

Share your goals with a friend, family member, or even online communities. Having someone to check in with can keep you accountable and motivated. Plus, it’s a great way to get support and encouragement when you need it most. Sometimes, just knowing someone else is rooting for you is enough to keep you going.

10. Forgive Yourself for Off Days

Let’s be real—not every day is going to be a productivity powerhouse. Some days, the motivation just isn’t there, and that’s okay. The key is not to beat yourself up over it. Instead, acknowledge it, rest, and come back stronger the next day. Progress isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being consistent over time.

11. Visualize Your Success

Take a few minutes each day to visualize what success looks like for you. Imagine how it will feel to achieve your goals, and let that positive energy drive you forward. Visualization is a powerful tool that can help keep your motivation alive, even when the journey feels long.

12. Reward Yourself

Don’t forget to reward yourself for your hard work. Whether it’s treating yourself to something special, taking a day off, or just indulging in your favorite activity, rewards help reinforce the positive behavior of staying productive. It gives you something to look forward to and makes the grind feel a little less grindy.

13. Keep Learning and Growing

Finally, keep feeding your mind with new ideas and inspiration. Read books, listen to podcasts, watch TED Talks—whatever gets your creative juices flowing. Continuous learning keeps you motivated by reminding you that there’s always more to discover and achieve.

Final Thoughts

Staying motivated and productive isn’t about working harder—it’s about working smarter. By setting clear goals, creating a routine that works for you, and prioritizing self-care, you can stay on top of your game without burning out. Remember, it’s a marathon, not a sprint, so pace yourself, celebrate your progress, and keep moving forward. You’ve got this!

Love,

Sophia

[rotknox]

Cryptic Comforts | B. CIPHER X M. READER

Work on AO3 | Work on Wattpad | Masterlist

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DIMENSION #5150

NEUTRAL ZONE

Outside of Time

She watched his triangular form through the cameras, he hadn’t moved or blinked in about an hour, he was just toying with the safety scissors he had stolen from the Crafts room. She felt a tinge of regret after locking him away into maximum security, perhaps there were other ways of healing him…

Dr. Prismatis sighed and picked up her communicator, “Hello, guards… Will you please bring Mr. Cipher to my office? Thank you very much.”, she sighed and set the communicator down, propping her elbows on the table and setting her chin on her palm.

After a few minutes of waiting, the doors slid open and two guards held Bill behind them, “Here he is, ma’am.”, the taller of the two said as they sat Bill down, the shorter one spoke up, “Do you need us to stay inside?”

The Luminara shook her head, “We’ll be fine on our own, you two may step out…”, the guards nodded and left the room, leaving Bill and Dr. Prismatis alone.

She took off her glasses and set them on the table, “Bill, I’d like to be frank with you…”, she began. Bill, who had seemed catatonic until just then, piped up and chuckled, “Frank? I thought your name was Ethara.”

Dr. Prismatis just frowned and Bill sunk in his chair. She sighed and shook her head, “I’ve tried everything with you… The walls in your room are covered in motivational posters, for Axolotl’s sake! I managed to cure PHEN-228 but I cannot seem to better you.”

Bill just whined a little bit, “Am I gonna move into isolation or what..?!”, he asked in a bit of panic. She shook her head to that, however, “No, Bill… Look, Axolotl and I discussed various techniques to better you. We decided on one that would work best and, well…”

She seemed to falter for a bit, Dr. Prismatis looked away and rubbed her hand. Bill looked at her and frowned, “Well, what?”, he asked a bit urgently.

She sighed and looked at him, “We decided on forgiveness.”, she said. Bill stared at her dumbfounded and he couldn’t help but start to laugh, “REALLY?! THAT’S THE SOLUTION TO ALL MY PROBLEMS!? Oh, doc! Oh oh! Oh, you’re a real kidder!”

The Luminara went from concerned to slightly annoyed, she sighed and deadpanned, “Do you even know what this method entails?”

Bill giggled, “Oh, lemme guess! I have to write a ‘heartfelt’ apology, film it, and then send it to all my enemies?”, he asked, his question followed by a loud laugh. Dr. Prismatis sighed and stood up gazing out her window, “This method is simple. We’ll send you to the INTACT area where you caused the most trouble and you will work for your rehabilitation… I’ll check in now and then to make sure your process is working.”, she explained sternly.

Bill rolled his eye and crossed his arms, “Yeah? And where exactly where I go, smarty? I’ve caused chaos in many places, y’know!”, he said with a huff, she narrowed her eyes at him, “That’s not something you should be proud of, Bill.”

She then clasped her hands and looked at him, “You will be going to Earth.”

Bill shot up and stared at her wide-eyed, “WHAT?!”

“I know it may not be the place you want to be in but… It’s the only other method anyone can think of for you.”, she said calmly, placing her prism-like hand on Bill’s back.

“Trust me, Bill… As your Head Doctor, I will never put you in a failing situation.”, she promised and Bill almost banged his face against the edge of her desk, “I’m gonna cry on you, doc.”

Dr. Prismatis opened a portal and gently nudged Bill over, “Don’t worry, Bill…”, she then pushed him inside.

Bill screamed at the top of his… lungs? Well, he screamed loud, that’s for sure.

Before he knew it, he hit the floor. Bill groaned loudly against the grass and sat up, he spat out some grass that had gotten on his tongue- wait what.

Bill paused, “Since when do I have a mouth?”, he asked himself. He looked down to see a pair of tan hands that belonged to... HIM?!

“WHAT THE HELL?!”, he yelled as he began to run his hands over himself. Slight muscle, messy hair, a scar that was a little too similar to the one he had thanks to that oaf Stanley Pines… And a lazy eye mimicking the fact that he was one-eyed before.

He immediately checked to see if he was naked. And thank god, he wasn’t.

Whatever Dr. Prismatis did, she gave a simple outfit: a baggy shirt, shorts, and sandals. “Wow… Couldn’t even give me something fancy, huh? Cheap woman.”

He stood up on slightly wobbly legs, using a nearby tree for support. He heard distant voices and frowned, “What the hell… Where even am I?”

He sniffed the air and looked at the trees, it was all too familiar… Oh my.

Did that stupid doctor put him back into his hunting grounds?! Oh, this was golden.

Bill grinned wickedly and cracked his knuckles, “Oh this is going to be golde-” “Cipher?”

Bill warily turned around to face whoever just correctly guessed his name, and there was only one person who had the balls to call him by his last name.

He came face to face with a shocked Stanford Pines. 

The older man immediately scowled and spoke to him with noticeable venom, “Stanley killed you. He lost most of his memories thanks to you. And all of a sudden you show up in a new form?!”

Bill rolled his eye and held his hands up, “Relax Sixer… I’m only here because my doctor said so. If it was up to me, I’d be in The Bahamas! Hey, maybe Area 51 too…”, he was met with the barrel of some freaky gun to the nose.

“You won’t be going anywhere, Cipher. I will not allow you to wreak havoc across my home ever again.”, Ford said sternly and loaded his gun. He was quickly interrupted by Bill though.

“Well, will you let me finish?! Jeez, Sixer… Did your mom ever teach you any manners? And don’t lie to me, I know damn well she did.”, Bill said as he pushed the gun away, “I’m not here to cause chaos or anything, my doctor kicked me here.”

Ford paused and lowered his gun, “Your… doctor? What the hell are you saying?!”, he asked and Bill groaned. “UGH. STANFORD FILBRICK PINES, YOU UTTER DUNCE.”, the demon yelled and almost pulled his own hair out.

He took a deep breath and then groaned a bit, “Stupid heat… Say, Sixer? Mind if I coop up in that shack of yours from this torturous temperature?”, Bill asked as he wiped his sweat and scoffed, “My flesh bag is queasy…”

Ford looked at him, “Are you insane, Cipher?!”, he asked loudly. “Yeah, very.”, Bill giggled but then shut up when Ford glared at him. Bill huffed, “Alright, what’s the ish?”

“You tried to kill me and my family and you think I’m going to let you inside my house?!”, he asked angrily, and Bill huffed with annoyance, “Look, IQ. I was a little too violent but where else will I stay?”

Ford was conflicted. On one hand, he was letting none other than Bill Cipher into his home — his safe space, the only place he was ever safe from Bill’s claws… But then again, he had his lab there, and he had Bill here…

Ford sighed, “Under one condition, Cipher.”, he said firmly. Bill perked up and leaned close, “Yeah?!” Ford leaned away and sighed deeply, “You will be my experiment. You’ve been my greatest mystery, Cipher… I have to study you.”

Bill blinked and grinned a bit, “Sounds promising~”, he said with a chuckle but immediately yelped when Ford grabbed his wrist and yanked him along aggressively, “HEY WATCH IT!”

EARTH

GRAVITY FALLS, OREGON

Mabel and Dipper were in the shack. Mabel was currently doodling in her notebook while Dipper was reading a random book. Dipper frowned and looked up, “Hey, [Name]? What language is the Voynich Manuscript in?”

[Name] looked up from the floor he was mopping and furrowed his brows, “...The what..?”

The door slammed open and the three all jumped. In came Ford hauling a squirming Bill, “LET GO OF ME, SIXER. YOUR FINGERS ARE ALL OVER MY FLESH STICKS.”

Mabel raised a brow, “Flesh sticks?”

Dipper looked up, “Sixer? Wait… BILL?!”

Stanford sighed, “Calm down, children! …Oh hello, [Name].”, Ford greeted the taller man. [Name] sighed and waved, “I’m not even gonna ask…”

“Anyways… Children, this is indeed Bill Cipher. Worry not though! He’s weak.”, Bill shot him an offended glare, “I am not weak!”

Ford raised a brow, “Yeah? Burn me.”, Bill flushed up and glared at him, “I’m going to scalp you while you sleep, brainiac.”

Dipper immediately flailed, “GRUNKLE FORD IT’S BILL CIPHER HOW ARE YOU SO CALM!?”, he asked urgently. Bill laughed and leaned close, “Hey kid, no hard feels! I’m here thanks to therapy! I’m a healed man!”

Dipper looked at him questioningly and held Mabel close. Mabel hummed but smiled a tiny bit, “Well… According to Uncle Henry, therapy is the best medicine… Sooo…”, Dipper chewed on his bottom lip, “And how do you think Uncle Henry would react if we told him a space demon god got therapy?”

“...He’d probably laugh at us until he passed out.”, Mabel rubbed her arm. “But look at him! Does his face look like the face of a man who would hurt us?”

Dipper took one look at Bill and then at Mabel, “Absolutely, yes.”

Mabel looked over at [Name] and gave him puppy eyes. The janitor rubbed his eyes, “What do you want me to say, Starlight? I don’t even know this man.”, Bill got a little too into [Name]’s personal space, “Well I certainly know YOU, big guy!”

[Name] looked at him and chuckled, “You’re a weirdo, guy…”

“Anyways, I’m clocking out. Good luck…”, [Name] walked away and left the shack. Ford sighed and dragged Bill into the lab.

“We’ll need some explaining…”, Mabel muttered.

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The lab was as dark and humid as Bill had recalled. 

“Soooo, who was the big cleaner guy? He looked hot.”, Bill giggled as he looked around. Ford sighed and sat down at his desk, “That’s [Name]. He’s a sweet young man and I want you far away from him.”

Bill rolled his eye and looked around, “Why? Cuz I’ll ‘hurt him’?”, he asked and Ford nodded. “Precisely, I don’t want you trying to bring him any harm nor do I need you corrupting him.”, he said sternly as he took out some equipment.

“Now hold still, Cipher.”

═════════•°• ⚠ •°•═════════

[Name] was about to leave the workshop. He counted his personal belongings; cellphone, wallet, house and car keys, thermos… Shit, he forgot his jacket at the Mystery Shack.

He drove back to the Mystery Shack, windows rolled down so the cool summer night air could calm his tired mind. He pulled into the parking lot and got out of his car, going into the gift shop and looking around.

He saw a certain blonde man laying flat on the floor. He came up to him and knelt beside him, “Hello?”, he raised a brow.

Bill turned over and furrowed his brows, he was bandaged and slightly bruised… What the hell happened while [Name] was gone? 

[Name] looked at him, “You okay?”, Bill just huffed, “No.” [Name] tilted his head as a wordless way to ask ‘why?’. Bill sighed a bit and sat up, “It was Sixer… He poked and prodded at me for like an hour.”

He then realized [Name] didn’t even know who he was. Bill looked away and rubbed his healthy eye, “No worries though. I’m tired, however.”, his usual enigmatism and flashiness was really low.

“Oh, do you sleep here?”, [Name] asked and Bill shrugged. The [Hair Color] haired male sighed and shook his head, “Well, I don’t know your story but… I’m here for you if you need anything.”

A weird tingly feeling grew in Bill’s chest and he looked at him, he laughed slightly and stood up, “No need! But uh… Thanks for the offer, uh…?”

“Oh. [Name]. [Name] [Last Name]. And you?”, he held his hand out and Bill’s breath hitched, “Bill…”

He gingerly shook [Name]’s hand, he couldn’t help but marvel and the size difference. [Name] smiled charmingly and pulled away, “Well, sleep tight, Bill… See ya.”

[Name] grabbed his jacket and left the gift shop.

Bill stared at the closed door and hummed, “Oh, I’m so screwed.”

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Chapter One ->

taglist: @cyber-dump-171

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[codewitch]

I have two thoughts on the election as someone who’s been watching social media outside of tumblr:

1. The whole country seems to have moved right since the pandemic. Young men want women subjugated. Young women don’t want to work, they want to be trad wives. Everyone hated being asked to inconvenience themselves slightly in order to not spread Covid. Everyone, even the left, is mad about inflation. Very few people are talking about feminism, anti-racism, or climate change anymore.

2. I don’t think campaigns matter anymore. Trump ran a dogshit campaign. He zoned out for 40 minutes on stage and no one cared. Online vibes are the campaign, and I think only the far right has realized this. Nothing Trump actually does matters because his voters have been funneled into algorithm holes/websites that paint him as a god king who will bring salvation and crush everyone you don’t like. Kamala was doing best when people inexplicably memed about her being brat. But that faded and no amount of full rallies or door knocking campaigns could make up for most people just spending most of their lives online.

To be real, I don’t know what she could have campaigned on that would have done better. Everyone hates Biden. She can’t campaign on his wins, like the inflation reduction act, because nobody cares about that even if it was a good win. She can’t campaign on student loan forgiveness because Biden tried that multiple times for it to only be blocked by republican appointed judges, and democrats can’t campaign on “we tried so hard but the republicans stopped us” because nobody ever cares about that. She could’ve campaigned more on reproductive rights. I honestly don’t know if campaigning on ending the genocide would’ve helped her. It could’ve fixed the online vibe problem if people believed her, but I genuinely fear that the vast majority of Americans don’t care about the genocide and want America to keep its presence in the Middle East because they’ll kill anybody for cheap gas.

I don’t know how to get this country back on track. I’m certain the democrats will continue to move right in response if left to their own devices. They will continue to be stuck cleaning up whatever economic crash the republicans cause. I think if the left wants to claw back ground, we need to hold a cohesive front. Be the cool guys everyone wants to be a part of. Be the ones who will help you out, because capitalism really is the enemy. Make people feel good to agree with you. Energize each other, because how can we fight them if we’re burnt out fighting each other? And run for political office, so we can start the work of replacing the centrist democrats. If we can start a good groundswell now, there’s a chance we can make an impact by next election, and maybe the democrats won’t veer so right.

[writtenjewels]

Wrong Number part 6

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five

Two days later…

Jason was tasked with keeping his nephew entertained while Penny and her husband set the table for dinner. Penny's cell phone started ringing. She hurried to answer it, managing to get it on the third ring.

“Hello?” She waited, a slight frown on her lips. “Hello, anybody there?” There was a short silence and then she smiled. “Oh, yeah, this was his old phone number. He got a new phone recently.”

Jason glanced up from his spot on the floor. “Who you talkin' to, Penn?”

“Donno; someone askin' for you. I didn't get your name,” she added to the person on the other end. “He says his name's Salim,” she reported.

Jason felt his heart skip a beat. He jumped to his feet and nearly tripped over Troy's action figures in his hurry to grab the phone. Penny had an eyebrow raised in question as she handed the phone over. 'Not an old army buddy, then,' she mouthed to him. Jason shook his head in answer. He wasn't giving her more information than that.

“Hey,” he greeted, quickly turning and walking off so his sister couldn't eavesdrop.

“Another wrong number?” Salim's voice sent a shiver down Jason's spine, even as it was currently light with teasing.

“It was an accident. I just got my new phone a month ago. Gave my sister my old phone.”

“Your sister,” Salim echoed. Jason would swear there was a tone of relief in those two words. His heart beat a little faster. He found the nearest room for privacy, which turned out to be the bathroom, and shut himself inside.

“Yeah, I'm at her place for dinner.”

“That was lucky timing,” Salim remarked. “It's a good thing you're always close by whenever I get a wrong number.”

“Good thing,” Jason agreed with a grin. He let a comfortable silence fill the space before clearing his throat. He had gone out on a limb leaving that phone number in his gift for Salim. Jason thought he sensed sparks flying between them but hadn't been sure. The fact that Salim called him must mean… But Jason didn't want to jump to conclusions yet. “So,” he began.

“Forgive me for not calling you sooner,” Salim apologized. “I was with my son, and then I wasn't sure of your time zone. I made my best guess.”

“It's okay. You still in London? It must be fuckin' midnight for you.”

“I couldn't sleep,” Salim confessed. “Not before I called you.” Jason was very glad that no one could see how hard he was blushing. “It's strange,” Salim went on, “how connected I felt to you after only a few hours.”

“Yeah,” was all Jason could manage in response.

“When we parted, I was a little disappointed by the handshake,” Salim admitted.

“I panicked.” Jason's fingers squeezed the phone a little tighter. “You're the first guy--”

“You don't need to explain,” Salim interrupted. “As much as I wanted to call you the minute I saw your note, a part of me was glad that your flight home would last eight hours. How I felt about you in such a short time… it was new and unexpected. And now you're so far away.”

Jason felt tongue-tied. He wished he could give some sort of answer but he just stood there and listened to Salim's voice.

“You're not the only one who felt something, Jason,” Salim assured him. “And I hope I'm not the only one who's hoping to continue this.”

“You're not,” Jason answered.

“I'm glad.” There was a moment of silence. Jason could almost picture Salim smiling at him. “But first, you need to give me your real phone number.” Jason let out a shaky laugh and reeled off the numbers. Salim reciprocated with his own phone number. “Call me when you're truly alone, habibi.”

“Okay.” Jason felt stupidly giddy again. “I'll call soon.” He hung up, a smile glowing on his face as he exited the bathroom.

Funny how some wrong numbers could lead him to the most right he ever felt.

[creaturefeaturecommando]

Wait In The Fire (3)

-

Carmy felt like his heart was going to rip from his chest as he stood in front of Beau's apartment door. This was it. This was the day that he was going to stop being a pussy and actually talk about how he felt.

They had been fuck buddies for a while now and Carmy was ready to tell Beau that he wanted to take it to the next level and be in an actual relationship. The only thing that could go wrong was that Beau could say 'no'. Or say 'no' while harshly rejecting him and pointing out every single flaw as to why he was unlovable and too broken to be in a relationship.

It was too late to turn back now. Carmy took a deep breath and knocked on Beau's door, waiting for him to answer. Minutes passed, and just when Carmy was about to give up and ho home, Beau opened the door, wrapped in nothing but a towel. Carmy's breath hitched as he froze up.

"Oh, hey Carm !" Beau said, leaning against the doorframe. "What brings you by ?"

"I uh..." Carmy cleared his throat in an attempt to get himself together. There was no turning back now. He ran a hand through his hair. "Can we talk ?"

"Yeah, yeah, come in." Beau said, opening the door wider, inviting Carmy in. "Let me throw on some clothes and put on some coffee, make yourself comfortable in the meantime."

Carmy entered the apartment, going over to the couch and sitting down. Beau had something on the TV that Carmy tried to pay attention to in order to distract himself, but his stomach was tied in so many knots that it made him dizzy, unable to focus.

He didn't know how long he zoned out for, but it only felt like only seconds, before Beau was dressed, handing him a cup of coffee, as he perched himself next to Carmy. It felt like he had been hit by a bus, as he slowly came back down to reality.

"Thanks..." Carmy said with a nod, taking the cup from Beau.

"Forgive me but I only have decaf, I'm trying to cut back on caffeine, it makes me even more anxious than I usually am and if I'm extra anxious, nothing gets done." Beau said with a chuckle. "I'm gonna make the switch to tea sooner or later."

"Not a big fan of caffeine myself, so I don't mind decaf." Carmy said, staring into his cup. "Thank you."

"So, what is it that you want to talk about ?" Beau asked, getting straight to the point. "You looked kinda dazed, so I figured that it was important."

Carmy took a deep breath. This was it. There was no going back now. He had to get it off of his chest.

"So y'know how we've been.... doing this ?" Carmy asked, not sure how to put it.

" 'This' ?" Beau asked, setting his coffee cup on the floor. "What do you mean by 'This' ? Do you mean talking or the sex ?" Beau asked, out of curiosity.

"Y'know, how we've been spending time with each other ?" Carmy asked. "Not even just the sex, how sometimes I just stay after the fact or when I come over and we just... hang out with each other."

Carmy sighed and put his coffee cup on the floor and put his head in his hands in order to get his thoughts together. This was it. He had to come out and say it. No turning back.

"Look, I've been having a lot of confusing feelings since I've met you, It's hard for me to describe it but... you're just so different." Carmy said, slowing down a little so that he wouldn't lose the thoughts that he was trying to put into words and string together to make sentences that made sense.

"I was never attracted to men before I met you." Carmy said. "I don't feel what I feel for you with other men or even women or people in general, just you... and I don't know why but..." Carmy took a deep breath. "I uh... I think I feel a real connection with you and I want this to be more than just sex and occasional meetups, I want to try a relationship... an actual relationship...with you..."

Beau was quiet for a moment, which made Carmy fear for the worse. As he was prepared to face rejection, Beau let out a chuckle, much to his surprise.

"I've been... I've been figuring out how to try and tell you that I wanted the same thing, I can just never tell where your mind is, so for your sake, I was just keeping it casual." Beau said, shaking his head. "I really enjoy my time with you, Carmy, and I wouldn't mind giving this relationship thing a try too."

"This might be difficult for me." Carmy warned. "I've never really dated before, nevertheless, dated a man before, so forgive me if I'm a little awkward at this."

"Well you never had sex with a man before but you took me like a champ." Beau said, chuckling and moving closer to Carmy, holding and caressing his hand. "But don't worry, we'll take it slow."

"I feel like it's a little late to take it slow." Carmy said, moving closer to Beau.

"Well, I guess we'll just go at your pace." Beau hummed.

Before he knew it, his lips were on top of Beau's in a fit of heated passion.

Beau's strong hands grabbed Carmy's waist and pulled him onto his lap. They pulled away for a breath of air.

"I guess I gotta work on my pacing." Carmy joked, pressing his forehead against Beau's. "What do I call you now ?"

"What do you mean ?" Beau asked, curiously, rubbing his hands up Carmy's waist.

"You my boyfriend now ?" Carmy asked.

"Do you feel comfortable with the term, boyfriend ?" Beau asked, bringing Carmy's hand to his face.

"Not really." Carmy answered. "Boyfriend doesn't quite fit, it sounds too childish to me."

"Well, I can be whatever you want." Beau kissed Carmy's hand, his lips grazing against his tattoo. "I could be your lover." He kissed the 'S' on his finger. "I could be your partner." He kissed the 'O'. "I could be your man." He kissed the 'U'. "Or I could just be your Beau." He turned Carmy's hand to rest a kiss on his palm.

"I think I'm content with you being my Beau." Carmy said, moving his hand to Beau's cheek.

"I'm thankful that my Mama named me the old fashioned term for a significant other." Beau grinned.

"Is that what your name means ?" Carmy asked.

"My full name is actually Beaumont, Beau is a nickname." Beau laughed. "My name means 'Beautiful Mountain' because my Mama said that I'd be both beautiful and strong, like a mountain."

"Beaumont, hm ?" Carmy smirked. "I like it, it suits you."

"Look at you, being all flattering." Beau chuckled, as he leaned into giving Carmy another kiss, Carmy's fingers grasping Beau's hair, as Beau ran his hands up Carmy's shirt, Carmy shivering at his touch.

Confessing to Beau was easier than he thought.

Now letting his family know that he was with a man ? That would be the hard part. It would be damn near catastrophic.

But he decided that he would worry about that later, as Beau lifted him up, as if he weighed nothing, and carried him to his bedroom.

[theorist-influencer-untitled]

12.27.24 Friday--I do,act,pray & I have faith that in a lil while nana will go back to her full existence....

2:03 am

Still,have windblow...

It is weird... I fell asleep and woke-up coz in my dream someone told me that someone loves me but he went to Mitch and some said in my dream you will never see Pie or Peachy again or you can never meet her, once you chose Mitch...

Hmm... Yeah! I feel jealous on Mitch now but I'm longing to see her and ask some questions...

Hmm... If I have my love but he went that way,going to that dark forest of Mitch zone....My heart will cry but I have to accept the truth that love is not real and can easily be waved...

Probably, Mitch will smile and hide her tears and will say everything even her waves, all the thorns that made her bleed... I will smile as well coz you gave me pain, all the simple batteries that you gave but I know it was something good but at one point,why you wanted to escape...

What is the difference of my vagina to her or to someone got a perfection on their vagina? Can you identify love on that? Can a man tell love on the appearance of a particular vagina?

Should I be jealous on someone's vagina who is on a perfect state? But someone told me that a true love can stay even without paddling the cave... But someone said he loves me but he made a mistake??? Should I forgive him? Or cut his head?

Once I heard Dubious, I truly like him, I forgot a long time ago....The wind guided me yeah! It is Dubious but who is Khalifa I never heard of that name... One is my blood and flesh, he hurt me when they said he got married already...Khalifa? Weird windblow, I know he is a singer...

Will a man be real that that he fucked someone that he he will say straight into my face that he didn't do it???

Will a man be real if he will say he loves me but he fuck sideways and will say straight to my face that I'm his true love???

Will a man be real that he will give me his logical reasons that he is just accidentally being persuaded by someone that he thought it was that way, that I'm the one he wanted? Should I Iaugh out loud and will sing the "holding out for the hero"???

6:41 pm

Still,have windblow...

20 minutes before 7am for the prayer vow for nana...

7:03 pm

Still,have windblow...

Uncle Jun texted me that he will go home here...

I suggested to biological mother if we can spend New Year in Makati Med parking lot even if we will just borrow or rent a jeep, we are going up and down alternately to the ward. It is my idea coz I pity my nana and in a way Uncle Jun most specially nana... We were "family oriented" way back here with my adoptive parent's. Again, don't be judgemental, adoptive means not legal on papers but they stand as guardian or parent's.... But biological mother didn't want it... It is just sad that my family changed into different ways... It is shocking they became insane,in a way... I don't believe biological mother that it is not allowed to park and eat in the parking lot with John...It is parking lot.... Probably, fundings.... Probably she wanted a different story but I hope not...

8:38 am

Still,have windblow...

My new added board on my Pinterest.

I hope and pray my brown fur pouch will have some money and be returned to me...

9:57 am

Still,have windblow...

I wanted a war, I feel boring here coz my old friends even Mitch didn't want me around....I wanna have some chaos in the society,that we can have access to get food in 7-11 and on any grocery store....

I wanna drive a truck as well or anything to evacuate....

Get some free access on some beauty products... Even living on a tent!

I want a world war 3 where I can be important!

12:29 noon

Still,have windblow...

Done,watching "Ghostbuster--The Frozen Empire"....

7:19 pm

Still,have windblow...

Done,showering John, ready for New Year and still John has his powder shampoo and cologne for the actual New Year's Day. I need to fix my nails as well as tradition every New Year and will just do rooting hair dye...I miss going to Salon but I'm so broke and it is sad...

I wasn't able to bring John in his Salon as well for his perfection of his total grooming routine coz I'm having a hard time trimming his nails... I just trimmed his fur...

Got some charity from my biological father just for our foodish here for a couple of days and he told me this will be the last charity for now until New Year coz he doesn't have work until after New Year and I know I need to do something to have money, get a job or bf who is willing to assist me and cool with John and my vanities...

I really wish to remove my deep smile lines....I really wanna get some nose perfection but in time, my priority is to remove my deep smile lines...

I still wanna ask something and see my cousin-white on Dubious but it is not sure angels coz of his mother hated me for being a caregiver at one point of my life.I don't know how to get a bf that I like... I like cute face like my cousin and Daniel Marsh or an arab man... How I wish,I feel frustrated that I have no circle that I can feel important...

Waiting for 8pm,prayer vow for nana...I feel so frustrated... I wanna have foot spa on regular routine coz it is my fetish though I know I need to whiten again my inguinal and buttish part that I have some blemish now coz we don't have AC.

For men that I want like my white cousin on Dubious and Daniel or any Arab man do they have a perfect inguinal skin???Oh! I know it is usually particular on US, WOMEN...

Hmm... I want my perfection on my skin but life is a case by case...I was a princess -kind and a frustrated Queen but still I feel Queenish the part of being the Queen is still here with me!

8:18 pm

Still,have windblow...

Done,doing the prayer vow and done eating dinnerish!

I hate a bf who can't accept my not so smooth buttish and inguinal now,like what I said we don't have ac and can my bf respect my boyish lifestyle now but way back I was able to fix my butt and inguinal... I feel conscious but I still have the spirit of the Queen why will you not take my not so perfect inguinal and buttish, that they took away the high-life on me,they took away my AC and my spoiled life!

Like what I said this is for my cousin-white and for Daniel Marsh and for an arab man who will possibly be with me... I feel conscious of course, I was perfect on my younger days, I had allowance or I had a job that could maintain my vanities such as my shower gels, my summer's eve when I'm active on sex, I need that vaginal wash "summer's eve" other than my PH and Lactacyd...

Why, they will not take my inguinal coz it is not perfect... Like what I said I'm conscious and I have awareness of course!

But a boyish the usual it is just organic and they don't actually mind the skin on the inguinal or on the buttish....Example when you are actually a player or an athlete but these days they are fixing but off the screen the boyish lifestyle just like mine are really having a brownish inguinal and buttish most specially I saw a Chinese movie that the women are showering,they are pretty but there are some blemish on the inguinal part as well. It was somehow a bold movie of Chinese.

Chinese skin even their actress on a somehow bold movies sometimes they have some blemish on the inguinal part coz their skin is sensitive... But they are on the film,angels...

[lifenconcepts]

Here’s some notes I quickly made on my flipphone and what I actually meant by them, enjoy!:

Moon - I ACTUALLY SAW THE SECONDARY MOON THAT IS CURRENTLY PASSING US! The temporary mini-moon. I used to look from my garden for the past few nights but I just went for a walk and looking into the sky in the horizon (usually heavily covered by houses) I saw a silly circle! Knew it was in the sky as lamps make lines when I squint at them, plus, it was soo strangely circular!? It was so cute but at first I thought our moon shrunk and changed places! I do rarely see it, so that would make sense, like hermitcraft’s ‘is the moon big?’ Except it’s small.

“Look up more” as I have a habit of staring at my feet when I walk, and despite enjoying the way my boots step forward - after all, I just walk automatically at times and it’s fascinating to see my own body move without my order, same as breathing. Haha you’re breathing manually now! But yeah, I zone out and fail to get all the mental benefits of the walk, so gotta look up even if there isn’t much happening around, still better than asphalt.

“The divine too watch, the stars, and scratch their ass” self explanatory. People whom are close to divine, translate the divine, are basically the divine, or apart of the divine, are just as close to the stars as the sky they exist in - and, too, like the stars, watch. Also scratch their ass, because even divine beings aren’t strangers to basic experience such as scratching their butt.

astrnomy - possibly look into constellations and the study of the stars, as I’m pulled towards them but really know nothing much apart from the name of three and where they usually appear. Also, FUCK Sirius. Okay fine I apologies, I have come to better terms with the star and forgive it.

High is life - is getting high just the closest normies can get to my level of spiritual connection? After all, people to talk similarly to how I normally do. Whole new meaning to “high on life” I suppose.

Like a dog I need walks or bad stuff haspens- Like how I studied online dog behaviour and how dogs become restless, depressed, sick, and hurt if they’re not taken for regular walks, so am I - pacing the home like trapped German shepherd, whine-y like a chihuahua, apathetic like a soggy rag, and aggressive like a misunderstood cat.

RAH - I can make scarily accurate monster noises that honestly even scare me. 

Smell outeooss more, richment - I keep forgetting to activate my 2nd sense of smell when on walks, which is honestly sad, because there are dozens of incredible smells outdoors and that gives me alot of mental enrichment! From the smell of autumn, cars, leaves, mud, tea, or curry from someone’s window - all of these things make walls just that bit more pleasant.

Sileot night - walks in the darkness/late afternoon/early night are so much more peaceful and calmer than the day that I don’t even need to constantly be wearing headphones! Take some time to enjoy the silence, and then get back to walking confidently so passers by know not to mess with me bahahaha (ALSO fun thing I noticed is that alot of people my age 15-20 especially guys do the same hands in pocket and look docile yet also silent ‘don’t mess with me’ vibes as me oh my goshhhh I am like the other gals xD).

You car may be unheard but my screams are - electric cars are dangerous.

At times the real is cool but music makes the cold shine - Reality in life is sometimes worth it even without blasting constant music through my headphones, but still, songs have the power of making my energy thrive and even the cold seem warm or make me forget about minute discomforts.

My organism is average so don’t experiment on it, not my soul goal - Despite being interested, don’t risk my health for trying to see the limitations of a human body, I’m pretty much average and need a good and constant supply of food, water, physics excertion, sleep, and emotion - not to limit or overuse it. For some, it may be their soul’s goal and path to try it out, but it just isn’t mine, and that’s okay. I’ll leave it for others to try out.

Those who have not yet formed ca livesnt risk their - those who haven’t formed can’t risk their lives.. idk if I was referring to people before birth or before spiritual awakening or before maturity (15-18), I think it’s the last one and in the sense of not making rash decisions early on in life. As even I felt that I was all knowing when infact I didn’t know much, still am forming, we constantly are, but about 25ish I’d say it’s the peak.

Show tunbler my notes here and what they mean - send this fun note translation to tumblr in hopes of getting a laugh or compliment from someone.

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 104

My Bloody Valentine

How am I supposed to watch this episode without the constant thought of "there he is, the world's first almost-closeted-straight person"?

"My Bloody Valentine"

Plot Description: Castiel helps Sam and Dean hunt down Cupid on Valentine's Day after people begin killing each other for love.

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes?: Being aroace has its advantages, goddamn. Yeah. Yeah, I survive. Because I can't imagine myself FOR REAL being put in this kind of situation

You know it's bad when it even grosses out one of the Winchesters.

See. This is how I know for a fact that I'm ace. So, the girl from the first five minutes (ignoring the patriarchal shit that goes along with it), according to her friend/maybe roommate, still had her promise ring and never engaged in premarital sex. And while the friend is like "still don't know how she did it...or didn't do it" I'm sitting here like "it's not that difficult. It's really not."

Wow. I'm...the woman was too stunned to speak. Okay, not really. But...Dean having referred to Valentine's Day as "Unattached Drifter Christmas" in the past sure is something. And Sam's concern that Dean not wanting to participate in his usual VDay antics is akin to a dog not wanting to eat. But like...Sam you went to the victim's house not the coroner. If I knew there was anything like that goin around, I wouldn't want to be pursuing anything either, ace or not.

I'm...this woman just shot her boyfriend's boss because the boyfriend didn't show up on time for their date. WHAT THE FUCK IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING???

Why's Sam staring down that dude?

THERE HE ISSSSSS, THE WORLD'S FIRST ALMOST-CLOSETED-STRAIGHT PERSON

I can never get enough of Dean trying to wrap his head around a situation and Cas coming in to refute one singular detail. Makes my life so much better.

What was that LOOK, Dean? "A cupid has gone rogue and we have to stop him before he kills again" "Of course we do" followed by

THIS LOOK!!!! What is that, Dean???

I can stand by and accept Dean not wanting to Gino it and get laid even on Valentine’s Day, but not even wanting to eat a burger????? Now that’s too far

I'm also concerned about Cas grabbing Dean's burger TO eat

I...could not have come back to a more ridiculous episode. This scene with the cupid/cherub/whatever you want to call it...I'm just. I mean, it did take me just a hair too long to realize that the implication was that he is fully naked. So, the discomfort in the room here (on the part of both Winchesters and Cas) is...I couldn't have planned this nor could I have planned this better

Ooooo, it's that guy again. Oh, Sammy, you're in the danger zone. RESIST DRINKING THE DEMON BLOOD, SAM.

I figured we were getting another of the four horsemen from the preview, but why didn't I realize it'd be famine? o.m.g.

Oh shit, dude can eat DEMONS, TOO??

So, is Dean just unaffected or just YET TO BE affected? Cas is eating sliders like there's no tomorrow and Sam's craving demon blood in ways he hasn't all season. I'm...I'm not prepared to see what could happen to Dean.

This had to be either one of the best or worst days of Misha's life on set. The NUMBER OF BURGERS HE'S HAD TO EAT ON SCREEN AND SAY HIS LINES THROUGH

I can't believe Cas had the AUDACITY to ask Dean if he though of himself as well adjusted.

(God...I want a burger so badly now)

Sammmmmmm, no, you were doing so good, buddy. But I forgive you for this one because this truly isn't you. This IS famine.

Dude, Dean, he JUST left. Oh, good lord. Okay, you were right. Didn't REALLY need to see him eating raw ground beef out of a pan, but it gets the point across

Dean's so sassy at the most inopportune times. I love him for it. But I also know I'm about to be devastated by whatever famine's about to say to him...why Dean doesn't hunger like everyone else in this town.

I was right. Well, I was mostly right. The longer famine talked, the less effective it became, but essentially there is a void inside Dean that nothing could ever possibly fill, so what's the point of hungering for anything? (But then famine had to go and say "inside, you're already dead" which just killed how painful it was)

I have this weird feeling that, since Sam didn't kill the demons and allowing famine to eat their souls (real sentences you type when you watch supernatural), we're gonna get a scene like in Night at the Museum when Dick Van Dyke becomes an ass-kicking old man for reasons...or not. Sam's just gonna drag out all the demon souls famine just ate using his psychic powers (more real sentences of things that actually happen in this show)

Oh...oh, Dean...I need to hug him

"Been On My Mind...": No, but because I have absolutely no idea where we were in the countdown, I'm just gonna put it at 9

[eye-symbolize]

I will shut up about Critical Ditto eventually I promise

But first! A list as to why you should 100% turn that on before I pass out from exhaustion. Keep in mind. I’m still in the midsts of binging it.

Holy shit it’s really funny. Like, Jesus, I was trying to be in a sullen mood today and I keep fucking laughing instead

Oh, yeah - it’s not a D&D podcast or something like that, I know basically jack about D&D, it’s Pokémon. It’s Pokémon as a table top game - which I wasn’t aware was an option

You Will Not Be Able To Pick A Favorite Character. They’re all great. My brain stutters and skips every time I try to think about it too hard - because they’re all wonderful in completely different ways

Seriously though, my brain just, can’t compute. The main cast consists of these three [ft. The Three Genders] :

Brandi [Girl] - Small town girl has a minor mental break down after a storm destroys her mom’s shop and decides to become the Pokémon champion at age twenty-one

Kenny [Boy] - Even smaller town boy is traveling to find literally anyone who can help him get a grip on these powers he has that keeps hurting people. Lot of whump. Nature Boy

Theo [Mischief] - Basically, a paladin who kinda realized the Church sucks, but only after getting framed for what I think might be a war crime. They’re pretty level, pretty smart - would probably follow them irl without a second thought

Gotta be honest - the voices are really fun. Maybe that’s a minor point, but they are great fun to listen to

Oh hey, it’s a podcast. You know what that means for the rep 🏳️‍🌈

Great secondary characters. Could genuinely imagine basically anyone of them being real people. Just, great. Great writing, great improv

Wimpy the Buneary

It’s Pokémon but everyone can be actual adults

Surprisingly fun worldbuilding. I don’t think I’ll ever look at a Shroomish the same way again

Idk. Idk , this has been on my mind all day but - in a world that constantly feels like it’s crumbling around us, sometimes you don’t want to listen to something like TMA, or WTNV. You don’t want to talk about free will, or acknowledge the fact that the world is kinda ending and there’s nothing you can do about it except listen to some satire. Sometimes, it’s okay to have a bit of a lighter story to listen to, and focus on, and this one is just… really good. And it’s making me very happy when for all intents and purposes I shouldn’t be right now, because everything kinda sucks. And that alone, I think, is good. And I want to share that good, if I can. So, if you need a laugh, or want some nostalgia because you can no longer afford playing each new Pokémon game as it comes out - give this a listen

The guys who make this show possible - Stew, Ali, Tom, David - are just… idk, they seem like genuinely good guys. They feel like they’re friends, and maybe it’s just my loneliness, but it’s really nice to listen to. Listening to each episode is basically like sitting around listening to four good people, four friends, mess around in the Pokémon world

Link to Podcast : Apple Podcast Spotify

[mike-wachowski]

so what was the deal with that offscreen supercorp phone call, huh?

AKA: how i think the Lena/Kara call with Lena breaking the news to kara that she's going to Ireland went 

Kara knows it’s Lena calling before she even picks up her phone. 

She has a different ringer set for Lena, you know. It’s nothing special, really, just a softer, slower Apple-provided tune than the chirpy, high-pitched ones she uses for the rest of her family. She had changed it right after she and Lena had made up, the real time, right before she had been... taken, before everything that happened after. 

She never wanted to miss another call or text from Lena. 

She had hoped she’d get to hear it more before the Phantom Zone. 

She had almost forgotten she’d changed it, and when the plucky ukulele chords fill the dreary silence in Kara’s apartment, she jumps if only for the fact that it’s been so long without noise in her studio and in her head that it startles her more than excites her. 

But then Kara recognizes the tune, and that silly, familiar feeling of warmth floods her chest when she realizes it's Lena calling her, and she only lets the ringtone play out for three and half more seconds before she scrambles for her phone and slides the little green arrow over to take the call. 

“Lena!” She greets her friend (her friend, her friend, her friend again, her brain echoes joyfully). “What’s up? Everything okay?”

“Hi Kara,” Lena responds, voice soft and level, and it makes Kara’s heart thump just once out of time at the knowledge that Lena is smiling when she talks, because Kara can hear the upturn in her lips as she speaks. “I’m doing alright, evidently. How are you?” 

Kara looks around at her empty apartment, the dim lights, the noise-cancelling headphones tossed haphazardly on her couch. “I’m okay.” 

There's a quiet, nasally sigh from the other end of the line, and Kara can practically hear Lena evaluating a response to Kara’s blatant lie. 

Secretly, Kara wishes Lena would call her out on it. Say I know you aren’t okay, to force honesty from Kara in a way they had never breached before Lena knew everything, because the truth is, if anyone else were to ask, to call her out on the bullshit she knows she's giving everyone, she’d probably tense up, hide it, run away. She would lie again, because lying was what was comfortable for Kara these days. 

But if Lena were to ask… maybe Kara could stand having her know. Maybe if anyone were to see Kara right now, for the wreck she saw herself as, Lena would understand. 

Kara waits for the end of the pause. She waits for Lena to say what she’s secretly begging to hear.

But it doesn’t come. 

Lena does speak again, but what she actually says is: 

“That’s good to hear, Kara. Listen, I need to talk to you about something.” 

“Um,” Kara sucks in a breath, a little ragged, and hopes Lena doesn’t hear it through her receiver.. “What did you want to talk about?” 

“Kara, seeing you with your father… seeing you reconnect with him... It's made me consider some things.” 

“Okay…” Kara nods along, not really following. Is Lena going to try and get in touch with Lillian again?

“I think I’m going to-” Lena halts for one, two, three seconds, and in the clear silence Kara wonders what she’s thinking. When she continues, Kara doesn’t have to wonder much longer. 

“I think I’m going to go back to Ireland. I want to try and reconnect with my mother, with my old home, in any way I can.” 

Kara’s whole body tenses. She squeezes her phone with a trembling hand so clenched she hears the quiet crack of her screen, and sucks in tight, panicked breath. 

“I’m so sorry, Kara. I know you just returned, and I don’t want you to think I'm avoiding you- in fact, if you need me to stay, please tell me and I’ll turn around right now-” 

At that, Kara refocuses. She would never let Lena abandon her dream for her. Hasn’t Kara held her back, hurt her enough already? Doesn’t Lena deserve to find her happiness, even if it means flying all the way across the world from her? 

“No, Lena, no.” Kara steadies her voice, surprised herself at the clarity and force behind her hollow words. “If you need to go to Ireland, if you need to reconnect with your mom, I completely understand. I’ll always support you… you know that.” 

Lena pauses again, like she’s weighing the truthfulness of Kara’s words against the heart she knows so well. 

“But what about what you need, Kara?” 

Kara sighs. I need you, Lena, I need you, she wants to scream. But that would be selfish. And Kara has been selfish enough in their time. 

“I just need some potstickers and a good nap, I think.” She says in her cheeriest, most playful Kara Danvers tone she can muster, and pointedly ignores the tears beginning to slowly flow down her cheeks. 

“Okay,” Lena mutters, and then louder, more reassuring: “Okay. Okay. I’ll keep in touch, Kara, I promise.” 

“Right,” Kara nods, because it’s all she can do, really. “Um- how long- how long do you think you’ll be gone for?” 

Lena sighs, and Kara already knows the answer to her question, and she hates it. “I’m not sure, Kara. I don’t really know what I’m looking for.” 

“Okay- that’s okay! Take as much time as you need!” She presses one palm to her left eye, hoping to maybe stifle the tears or ground herself in the pressure of her touch. “Just, um. Don’t be a stranger.” 

“I won’t,” Lena quickly assures her, rushing her next words. “I’ll call, and I'll text you as much as I can, and the rest of the friends too, and if you ever need my help I can remotely operate parts of the tower from my laptop...” Lena trails off. Their paused silence hangs over the phone call, the awkward trepidation from both sides apparent when they both realize the end of the conversation is coming. 

“I’ll miss you.” Lena finally breaches through, sounding slightly choked up herself, but Kara ignores it for the sake of her own heart and mind. 

“I-” I love you. I love you. I love you. “I’ll miss you too.” 

Another period of silence lapses, and Kara wipes the last of the tears she’s now managed to quell on her sweater sleeve. 

“Well, I suppose I should let you go.” Lena whispers. Kara doesn’t want to let her go, because the panicked, irrational side of her is screaming that this could be the last time she hears from Lena, and she can’t even see her. But she remembers what selfishly holding onto Lena had done to their relationship before, and maybe this is why Lena’s leaving. Maybe Lena needs to know Kara can let her go. 

So Kara does the worst thing. She makes the hard decision. 

Kara says goodbye. 

“Yeah,” She says, shaking out all the voices in her head screaming for Lena to stay. She wants to backtrack, to say what she really needs right now is for Lena to come over right now and hold her tight so she can dissolve and know she’s still safe. She remembers a similar position, once, but the roles had been reversed, then; Kara used to be the one holding Lena through her those moments she felt like she was slipping through. But even those moments are marred now, disfigured by the lens of all the lying Kara had been putting Lena through.. Lena must feel it too. 

So Kara says goodbye, if not to ask anything more from Lena than her forgiveness. 

“Bye, Lena,” Kara's eyes are clenched closed. “I’ll see you when you get back.”

“I’ll see you soon, Kara,” Lena says, sounding sincere enough for Kara to almost believe it. “Goodbye.” 

And then the line goes silent. 

Kara puts her phone screen down on her coffee table. She doesn’t have the energy right now to look for the cracks in her screen she heard earlier-doesn’t think her heart can stand seeing the physical manifestation of her loss. 

So she coughs out a weak sob- lets herself break for just a minute- and then grabs her phone, eyes still closed, and calls up the one person who’s number she can always navigate to even with her eyes closed. 

“Hey Alex?” Her sister picks up after one ring. “Can we have a sister night? I don't think I- I can be alone right now.” 

And when Alex comes over half an hour later, wine and Chinese in tow, Kara tries not to think about how badly she wishes it were Lena holding her at the edge of the couch as she falls apart.

[a-gal-with-taste]

Lucky (Part 3) NSFW

Summary: Or, Silco finds the fanart. (Finale)

Part 1 | Part 2

Warnings: NSFW|MDNI, Silco X GN!Reader, established relationship, bit of fluff/rom-com, teasing, toys, dom/sub elements, edging

There were images that could never leave your brain.

In the quietest of moments, they lingered, demanded your attention as they whirled in the back of your mind. Sometimes they would already be moving your muscles for you, your hand making loops and curves in the edges of paper, before you stopped the details from coming in. You stopped, your brain was already consuming your thoughts with memories of making the initial image come true, and while the images you put to paper were necessary, were needed, you still found them to be a poor substitute.

Because how could ink, paint and pen even compare to the real, raw vision you have spread out before you?

His mouth dropped open, head pressed back into the pillows and cushioned bed beneath him as you jerk, and slick your hand around him. Slowly, to purposefully graze your warm palm over the aching, flared head of his cock as you trace veins.

You are rewarded quickly with the stunning, beautiful sight of his hair flying as his head slams back. Arching up with an almost-animalistic growl as he fucks into your hand, orgasm all but ripping through him as you bring him to completion. Spillover leaking from his tip, spilling down his pulsating length in your loose grip, down to his thighs and even splattering his abdomen...

You don't just want to stare at the image forever.

You want to make it happen, again, again and again, but since human capacity for such exhilaration is only so finite, you have to come up with a different way to keep such pictures of Silco coming undone by you  in your mind forever.

Which is where the book came in. Your book.

Your sketchbook.

The image couldn't leave your brain, but it had to be put to paper. Had to, for you had seen the consequences of letting it stay and linger in the back of your mind. More than a couple of broken-glasses were on your tab down at the bar, something that Sevika only raised a brow higher and higher at. Especially when, in your mindlessness, you had tried to scoop up the glass with your own hands, and immediately had red gushing from your palms.

"What were you thinking?" The scolding was worse than the pain, even with the annoyance in his tone kept to a minimal, you shifted, but hid your modified state with a wince as another piece of glass was plucked from your palm. "...nothing." You finally decided on.

The hand curled around your wrist stilled, than tightened minutely to catch your attention. "Nothing?" Silco said flatly, in disbelief. "You've never been the one for slipping up, making mistakes. Forgive me if I find it difficult that nothing would make you drop three glasses in one week."

No, but saying nothing was much easier than admitting the truth. Of course, one would expect their thoughts to linger on the mental-picture of their partner throughout the day- such was normal. Expected, even, and you knew that even in the busiest of moments, in the worst and most clustered meeting with Chem-Barons, or when he was in a faraway, solitidary zone with his paperwork, some part of Silco's mind held some regard for you.

He wouldn't be surprised that you were thinking about him. But you imagined telling him that one of the only images circulating your mind, was of him fucked-out and still leaking from your touch, would raise a brow.

"Just... a lot on my mind," You said, with a smile you hoped would erase his suspicions. "I'm starting to think you're more accident-prone than just mindless," Silco retorts dryly, plopping the silver tweezers down before tilting your hand this way and that in the light. Deeming it glass-free, there's a tug as the bandaged is wrapped around your palm. "Take the rest of the night off."

On one hand, that was great. Now you had the opportunity to actually get the image out of your head, now that you had some additional free-time to yourself. On the other though, it sounded closer to an order than a suggestion, which made you frown. "My hands are fine, I can-"

"Based on your track-record, they'll be falling off at the sinews by the end of the week."

Ouch.

But he seemed to be right, as you visibly winced when curling your hands into fists. There was a sound of another sigh from him, but the kingpin grazes his touch from your wrist, to cover over your hand with his palm covering the back of it. The warmth made you smile through the sting, even though Silco kept his face impassive in his small comforting.

"You know I'm not usually such a klutz, Sil." "Exactly what I was thinking; so any explanation that you can provide would be appreciated to what's actually on your mind."

You and the Eye of Zaun could be open with one another, in most things. The man with so few to trust leaned heavily on you for support, and while you knew there was some demons, some memories and thoughts that he simply could never share with everyone, even you, Silco could be open with you.

And you had no problem being openly communicative with him.

Except, in the case in which you had been filling an entire sketchbook filled with all the images of your partner. Those that would seem mundane, sweet even, as you had woken up a couple times to commit the view of Silco in sleep, in peace, to paper.

And then there were those that were a sight for your eyes alone. Gratuitous, explicit, and insanely hot, but not exactly something you wanted to excitedly race to Silco's desk to show.

"Nothing," You said with a smile, leaning over to kiss the corner of his mouth, the scars that reached past his cheek brushing against your touch. "Got nothing on my mind, Silco."

-

Well.

Nothing except, the mental image of his face twisted in anticipation. Eye flaring with the other squeezed shut, hips arched up in enticing anticipation for touch, for relief, for release, for-

"Fuck, dammit," You grumbled as your hand winced, and you relaxed your grip around the pen. Perhaps Silco wasn't wrong about your mindlessness, you said as you plopped the book on your lap. Head resting on the headboard, you stretched out your fingers as you gazed at the page in front of you.

You didn't regret it, although you were sure Silco would either raise a brow and politely distance himself from you if he ever saw it, or immediately burn such damning evidence of him in any sort of vulnerable state. In person, any vulnerability was hidden beneath shirt-collars and suitcuffs, behind glares and that glowing, flaming red eye to pierce those in place until he had need for them to move.

But those were a visual he gave to those outside, in Zaun and those foolish enough to cross him from Piltover. Then there visuals he gave you, burning in your brain, only settled when put to paper.

Flicking away from the more graphic of your artwork, you caught smiles on the next page. Rare, fleeting ones, that were able to twist into a wicked-smirk in a moment's notice, but the evidence that they existed was clear on the pages.

Another few flicks, and you let out an audible chuckle at the next memory you had raced to put to pen. Silco's hair was practically an entity of itself, able to be poised and dignified one second, ragged and ruffled in every which direction in the next.

But there was something almost charming about the way it could stick-up after being towel-dried, that had to be put to paper.

It made him look... spiky.

Chuckles melted into a sigh as you took a peek at one of your earliest works. Again, vulnerability was a rare look for Silco. But in sleep, there was abundance of it, and though you admit your art wasn't quite a masterpiece when you first started putting your mental images of this man onto paper, you trace the curve of his face on the pages. Lax, but wrinkles smoothed and dull aches fading for a brief moment.

It'd been what inspired you to grab the book in the first place, as a matter of fact. Silco often awoke before you, meaning the true rarity of those moments where he seems totally wholly in peace, were basically impossible to catch in the moment. It had been a look you had to commit to paper, if even only for your eyes. While it may have been burned into your memory, you needed a physical recollection of it to see it.

Silco, relaxed or in true, honest-to-Gods, restfulness.

A few more page flicks, and another snicker.

Silco, scowling but more exasperated than annoyed, as he peels off a paint-splattered coat.

Another page-flick, this one softening your smile.

His hand firmly clasped in yours as he leans an elbow across the dining table. You've often thought about coloring in the pages, for you watched to capture the detail of the red-wine matching the dark fiery hue of his eye, while the other glints at you with a look he shared with no one else.

Another page flick, and you swallow. Feel your thighs rub together as you shuffle on the bed.

You never forget for a moment, what a physical marvel Silco's body is.

But it's always nice to have a reminder, even when your mind keeps the images tight in your mind, the study of his physique on page is something you enjoy coming back to. Lean, sharp, imposing even in a slimmer stature, it's not just the face nor infamous eye that attracts the sight, but how his expressive visage seems to reflex the rest of this body.

Sweet Janna, is this man expressive.

Lips biting down, nails digging and clawing into sheets or into your skin. You outline the detail where you drew of his knuckles strained, from where he gripped your leg to hoist high onto his shoulder as he pounded into you.

Gritted teeth and sweat shining on the remaining brow, as he rocks into you, gazing down to where your bodies were joined. You think you captured his expression of pleased possessiveness well, for your breath catches just from seeing the image on paper.

Swallowing again, you close your eyes and tilt your head back with a small exhale as you force the grip on your pen to relax. The stings return from under the bandage and you force a slow inhale at the pain. Perhaps Silco had a right idea to let your hands rest... but there was some details missing, that you mind wouldn't allow you your hands to rest until you committed them to page...

The ballpoint of the pen just barely-touched the surface, before long fingers curled over the top of the book, and pulled it from your grasp.

The shriek you gave was quite embarrassing, but Silco's dry look didn't break for a second as you lunged for it, his hand slightly out to catch you. "I thought I said to give the paperwork a rest for a night," His voice was on the urge of being cross, expression only growing flatter at your frantic widening eyes. "I think you can survive an evening without work, darling."

"That's-" You swallowed, mind coming up blank. "It's... my diary?"

A brow rose halfway up to his hairline. But while he didn't hand it back, he also didn't look at the pages only slightly obscured by his fingers on the page, meaning there was still some hope. "... your diary?" A small nod, and you held your hands back out, not needing to fake the embarrassment on your cheeks, but forcing a smile and a careless little laugh, like he wasn't holding the bane of your existance in hand.

"Yeah! You know, jotting down notes and stuff from the day, p-putting all my little thoughts onto paper..." You stretched your smile wider and forced your hands not to jerk out when you saw his grip flex on the book. "... You don't have one?" You asked innocently.

The ruling crimelord, the man who flooded the streets with Shimmer and had an iron-grip around Zaun, looked down at you over the arch of his nose in disbelief.

Right, well... worth a shot.

Plus, it caused a distraction, and your hand jerked out to snatch it from his hand. The worst thing he could've done then occurred, when the man flicked the book up, closer to his face, and as his face melted into bewilderment at your actions, his eye caught sight of the page you had been on.

Immediately, he took a step back while your jaw clicked shut, sitting straight up and watching his expression. As expected, in the privacy of his own territory, Silco's immediate reaction was completely open bright seagreen eye widening as he pulled the book closer to his face, gaze darting over the details.

"... I... it's better than bringing a camera into bed." You joked weakly, recalling the handheld devices of Piltover-origin beginning to make their rounds in the Lanes markets. Silco did not respond verbally, his own jaw shifting as his teeth grind and you watched as he did the second-worst thing, and flicked to the next page.

"... I can see why you would consider these to be putting your personal thoughts to paper," He comments lightly enough, turning to the next page. "Because, I'm fairly certain all these are sights from your own point of view."

Face burning, you sputtered to try and find a way to respond, but are muted by his eyes glancing over to you. "No no, there's no need to dispute it." He snaps the book closed, and gives it a lazy wave in the air. "I don't think you can at this point."

You really couldn't, but that didn't mean you weren't mortified at being caught red-handed with them. His tone drawled as he spoke, but even with laissez faire look in his eye, you knew who he was.

"... I wanted to find a way to keep your hands idle for this evening," He said suddenly, seemingly changing the subject, but again, you knew him too well. "Originally, to prevent further straining of your hands. For I can imagine even the slightest provocation has caused some discomfort, and that's the last thing I'd want for you while you're healing, darling."

Pretending like you could see where exactly his calculating mind was going with this, you nodded, holding your hands in your lap and curling them tightly on top of one another- "At your sides. Palms on the bed, relax your fingers." Breath hitching, but after a beat you did as he asked. Tilting his head, Silco hummed at the sight, before trailing his unmatched gaze from you, to the book in his hand. You saw a tongue prodding the inside of his cheek in thought, which put you on edge.

Not necessarily in a bad way. But a way that you knew it was going to be a long night.

In the way that you imagined this was going to be a big of a lengthy evening for you indeed, which he confirmed with his next casual remark as he picked up a slim, small box he'd gotten from the marketplace.

"As much as I'm eager to witness your hands in action, after seeing so much work you put into this... craft, perhaps we should let them rest for an evening."

Soon, there's a hand on your shoulder as you're reclined back onto the bed. Facing the ceiling, you swallow as you felt his fingers trail on their way down, brushing over your collarbone, along your chest, over your abdomen... "Are you... upset? That I drew you?" "Furious," He confirms with a hitched breath in response from you. Partially from his words, mostly because his fingers have found the hem of your pants. "Not that the world is privy to see such talent of course, but hiding your skills from me, darling?" Silco tsked as you shuddered, bare skin soon hitting air as his palms found your thighs, nails digging into the skin once as he spread them open, before he reached over to the box.

The box containing his new favorite device, since it would indeed fit with his original, and new goals for the evening.

Keeping your hands unoccupied while it worked at you, and his own free to go through the entirety of your sketchbook, which he was very curious to see the rest of, especially after such a sneak peek...

-

“You have a hand for details… something I can appreciate. It’s preferable to cut to the chase in business, but in pleasure, one should take their time.” A pause, and after a moment, a click. The King of Zaun spoke under your sudden rasp for a full-breath of air into straining lungs.

“I could tell a lot of work went into these. I'm very impressed, darling,” A page flick, not quite muting the sound of your keening whine, but Silco kept his focus on the sketchbook in his hands. It was only right, he could see your skills coming to life on the pages. A foolish man he would be, to not give such work his full-attention, and while you were already getting the right amount of attention you deserved.

Though, judging by your moans and whispers of his name, you desired more. You could wait though. “How often do you think you spent on these designs?”

A series of gasps was his only reply. Granting some sense of mercy, there’s another click, and an audible sound of your body slumping back in temporary, physical relief. Devastating, as you could feel the pleasure ebbing. “An hour?” He asks, too innocently while you shudder, catching your breath. “Perhaps two? Several?”

“F-for sketches like those?” Licking your lips, you could taste the bit of salt from the sheen of sweat that was building on your face. “Fuck, S-sil… I don’t know, j-just kept going until I liked what I was seeing-!”

You are cut off with a cry, after another click. The vibrations within you were maddening, and racing you closer and closer to the pinnacle of insanity. Insanity, that you could be brought to these heights without his hands on you, or vice-versa.

It had to be an insanely erotic image, but you were too focused on chasing your release without moving your hands to care much about it now.

Again, his too-innocent tone called out over the sound of your gritted out groan and writhing on sheets, “Good to know. Perhaps I shall take inspiration from that sort of mindset, taking one's time to make art...” He smiled slightly, as he turned to the next page, finding a delightful little detail.

Your face of desperation almost matched the one you had etched into the book.

-

"...I wouldn't mind having a collection of your own image to look back on, darling. Self-portrait, as it were... perhaps I could inquire you on a commission of sorts?" He could wait to discuss that later. As much as he enjoyed seeing the way you had depicted him onto paper, he liked the picture of you arching up on the bed and crying out his name to be a much more beautiful image.

An image that wouldn't leave his mind for a while yet.

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[lupically]

#F40B32 | RYOMEN SUKUNA.

genre | light fluff, light angst, very faint romance undertone 

word count | 2616

warning | mention of death, mention of injury, mention of killing, decapitation 

note | i just wanted to try my hand at writing for a villain that is obviously irredeemable in a semi-realistic way.

what happens when you are irredeemable? you will fall in love anyway.

but ryomen sukuna wasn't in love with you. after all, he had killed you one too few times to claim that he was in love with you.

the first time he killed you was out of instinct. you were an intruder touching his soul the way mahito did, except you barged in without any malicious intention. he had gazed over your fallen body with mild interest then; a mere mortal, yet you emerged from thin air into his locked tight domain without dying?

the second time he killed you was a choice. he gave you not a minute to explain yourself, even though you had wasted the minute asking questions about his identity and the skull-filled area instead of giving him any valuable information about yourself. he had been fed up, he was never a man of patience, so he killed you with a wave of his hand and returned to his dull life alone on his throne.

the third time he killed you—he did not kill you. there was no third time; people liked to say the third time's charm but sukuna believed no such superstition. he killed you twice already and each time, you came back unscathed, both your body and your memories. whether he liked it or not, killing you for the third time would do neither you nor him any benefit, so he kept you alive.

you were afraid of him. he could tell, and he meant for things to be that way until he realized it served as a misfortune on his part. in order to understand this mystery—your sudden appearance into his domain, as well as your inability to leave it and his inability to kick you out—he has to gain some piece of information about you, but you were too shaken up from being murdered to talk to him at all.

sukuna's patience was reaching a breaking point and he thought about torturing it out of you, but he understood that humans are fragile, way more fragile than your typical jujutsu sorcerer. he could accidentally kill you and you would return with no scars and more unwilling to converse with him than before. then it was the waiting game all over again.

he wasn't planning on going through such a dull ordeal again, so he left you be and waited for you to calm yourself down.

the first time you talked to him, you asked him a question.

"are you going to kill me?" you asked him.

sukuna peered down at you from his throne. small, frightened, curled into a ball with no desire to touch the skeletons at his feet, but you looked up at him out of politeness.

he scoffed, displeased. "no, but i always can."

the second time you talked to him, it was to exchange a brief introduction.

"ryomen sukuna," he hummed curtly then he nudged his chin toward you. "your turn."

you shuffled up to your knees and sat down on your heels. your fingers fidgetted at your lap as you timidly peered up at his tattooed, disinterested expression.

"[full name]," you said with a nod, unable to meet his eyes. "nice–nice to meet you, sukuna-san..."

the third time you talked to him, you flinched.

"ma–may i ask you two questions... if i can...?" you asked, for the first time standing up to face him directly.

sukuna leaned away from his propped-up arm. after taking a better look at you, accessing your figure analytically despite having seen you move around slowly for days already, he shoved his hands into the sleeves of his robe and he suddenly jumped down from his throne to stand before you.

you pursed your lips nervously over his looming figure, face heating up with terrible anxiety while your eyes darted down to the watery ground. oh, his presence has been so overwhelmingly deadly that you forgot your white tennis shoes were stained red and your pastel ankle socks remained wet. you did not dare to complain, not even in your head.

"i'll allow it," he said.

"where am i?" you quickly asked.

"an innate domain," he replied.

you have questions, but you decided not to ask. you only nodded after breathing out a soft sigh to calm your nerves. this man constantly sounded condescending, he was kicking open your comfort zone without actively doing anything that would make you uncomfortable.

"okay..." you said, "thank you."

"aren't you going to ask me another question?" he stated with a raise of his brow. "you wanted to ask me two questions."

you gulped, blinking hopelessly at the air as a grimace appeared on your face. "the first question was if i can ask you two questions, and the second one is about where i am... so that makes two."

oh, a meticulously cautious one, and somewhat humorous too he would give you that. sukuna scoffed loudly, but it was less out of annoyance and more out of disbelief of your incredible dullness. however, as plain as you were, he has grown accustomed to your presence; the scent of fear that bounced off of you and the fact that he cannot kill you at will.

"you must be dying to know what this place is, are you not, you brat?" sukuna asked.

when he saw the flashes in your eyes, he knew he had you down through and through. all you were was but someone who was too afraid to say what they want, which was just as he expected from you. you wouldn't cause him trouble, you never could.

reaching his hand out of his sleeve, he stayed silent despite seeing the way you flinched with your eyes shut at his raised hand. his movement had been slow, but that was an involuntary response, an instinct that he didn't craft into you. he wondered what it was.

"you can ask me three more questions," he said as he pushed the heel of his palm against the curve of your head. he was gentle at first, then he clamped his hand down on your head as he bent his waist to meet your eyes. he laughed. "i'll allow it."

he could keep you here. he has no choice but to keep you here, and he would kill you once he realized he has the ability to. but for now, perhaps he could act a little civil, something like a human being but one that people would hate to the core.

except he was met with a little obstacle in the way, which was that you were no bad company.

the first time sukuna gained a liking toward you was when you asked him a peculiar question.

"sukuna-san," you called one time when there was only silence within the innate domain.

you sat on a bed of skulls, one that you tentatively asked the king of curses to make you so you wouldn't have to lean on the rib-cage structure and sit in water for slumber.

he denied it at first. calling you names and threatening you about ever requesting something from him—a bed in his domain? fucking atrocious. but your insomnia was killing you; you hated the blood water and your neck burned whenever you wake up having it arched at the worst angle possible.

he did not grow soft. he just made one so he didn't have to watch you sleep in his peripheral vision.

"hmm."

"why do you think curses exist?"

he raised a brow at you. "did i not teach you that before?"

"you did, sorry," you nodded, "then do you believe in god?"

"where the fuck is this coming from, you brat?"

"from where i came, god is good. but from what i am seeing, whether from where i came from or here, everything goes against that value," you muttered loudly as you pulled at your fingers. "cursed spirits harm people. if i can argue that way, i think cursed spirits are harmful within themselves."

"if god is good, and god is real, why would this happen," you said. "why should we feel negative emotions? why do we have the ability to create cursed spirits? why do curses like you exist?"

he furrowed his brows in irritation. have you reduced him to mere curses? have you reduced him to nothing but a brainless being that only takes joy in the suffering of others? no matter how he approached your words, he felt infuriated that you could minimize his importance to simply being a bad person.

he was much more than a bad person, much more than just a pain! he has ideals, he has goals and ambitions, he has wit and strength! he has anger and malevolence and power beyond which your soul could ever contain and endure! he was ryomen sukuna, the strongest curse in a thousand years and more!

he will fucking kill you.

"i'm really glad you're here, though," you finished off softly, an unknowing smile on your face as you rubbed your thumbs weakly together.

he will kill you.

"for a long time, i was told my anger and hatred aren't real. that they don't and should not exist, and i learned to bury them to the ground so they never appear on the surface again," you said, your innocent smile audible to his ears and making his chest twitch with guilt.

"cursed spirits' existence is proof that my negative emotions are real. they may be a problem, but i am not crazy for having them because they're here. they became something, they're here and alive."

he will... he will kill you.

"i just think it's unfair to put the blame on cursed spirits and cursed energy alone when the society's standard guarantees the manifestation of them," you said. "if my anger got out to the world in the form of a monster and it hurt someone, i'll forgive it. i will forgive myself."

he...

"you don't need to hear this, i wish i had your confidence, but i have to say it," you looked up and smiled at him, "i'm a little glad you're here, sukuna-san."

he will kill–he will ki–

the second time, he went stoic.

mahito was too smart for his own good. the first thing he noticed when he entered the soul within yuji's body was the way sukuna has the collar of your shirt clutched in his hand and your body pulled close to his side. it was a glance, he had one small glimpse of you both before he was kicked out of the domain.

your face was riddled with tears—crying, disappointed, and frustrated, but why? for the transfigured human whose name mahito almost forgot, or because sukuna just had one of the most sadistic outbursts you have ever witnessed.

and sukuna, the king, the lord, the almighty—didn't he look annoyed. well, not annoyed, per se. angry, mad, overwhelmed, knowing, protective. very, very, very protective; glowing eyes that glared at mahito's patched up face, fingers that gripped at your shirt so tightly he could rip the fabric apart, an aura that was ready to spit any moment if mahito so much as reach a finger toward your direction.

you meant something to ryomen sukuna. mahito realized that, so the second time he entered the innate domain, he killed you.

right before his eyes, with a cunning and triumphant smile, your neck cracked and your skin broke, and mahito tore your head off just before he was once again beat out of the domain.

sukuna tried to heal you. he tried to seal your head back to your lifeless body, time and time again pushing your decapitated head against your haphazardly cut neck. but his reverse curse technique wasn't healing you. your skin refused to piece itself back together, you refused to come back to him. time passed and he was getting mad, he was going batshit crazy trying to force himself out of this body.

bastard! bastard! bastard! he was supposed to kill you! he was supposed to be the one to kill you! he would murder that patch-faced piece of shit! he would kill mahito! and he would destroy the whole world, light it on fire and kill all that wasn't worthy of his time! he would jump universes, light-years, the bloodstream of the galaxy to find you and bring you back to him. he would—

"sukuna-san, i'm sorry i took a while! i thought you were fighting–holy shit, is that me?"

the third time, sukuna admitted to himself.

"what kind of flowers do you like, sukuna-san?" you asked, voice drowsy and your legs dangling after you climbed on one of the bones of the rib-cage structure.

"why does it matter?" he asked from his throne, eyeing you carefully.

your were a clumsy idiot. you could fall anytime.

"it doesn't, but it's flowers," you mumbled with your chin leaning against the bone, eyes threatening to close. "sukuna... sukuna..."

"what?" he snapped.

"i like lilies, the red ones," you said with a silly grin. "will you visit me when i die? sukuna... will you bring... mmm... bring red lilies..."

he looked ahead. your death; your grave, decorated with red lilies, protected and preserved with his curses. your death—he gritted his teeth. he refused to think about it. it was a waste of time.

or maybe he simply hated the idea of your death.

sukuna has not gone soft. he was irredeemable; a killer, a curse, a tragedy to descend upon mankind. he was not good and he never would be, nor did he ever have the intention to be good.

still, from you, there was proof that he could be more. what was left of his being; his anger and his torture, what was left within the gaps of his hell, the rare softness that once was there, belonged to you now.

you were the vessel that pocketed all that he could potentially become if he wasn't born to be ryomen sukuna, a version of him that you have witnessed. within you, there was proof that he did not only exist to hurt people, but also to validate madness and pain, to acknowledge passion in its murderous wakefulness. within you, there was proof that within himself, there are pieces of what it means to be human and alive.

hearing your soft breath, sukuna looked up to find you asleep with your head against the bone. your arms barely supported your weight and you were threatening to fall off as you dozed with faint snores. he stared at you, his fingers twitching, then he finally waved his hand so he could bring you away from the ribcage and to where he sat.

he paid no mind to subtlety when he set you on his lap. his hand supported your back while he kept your head pressed against his shoulder. his other arm went around your body, preventing you from falling off the throne made only for him to sit on. when he was done adjusting to the new sitting position, he relaxed.

brushing the hair away from your face, he stared down at you with disinterest, but his heart pumped and pumped for you to be warm and well, his arms tightened for you to sleep soundly.

"i will bring you all the red lilies you want," he whispered, the back of his finger gliding past your soft cheek. you did not smell like fear when you fall asleep, you did not smell like fear now even when you looked at him. "i will allow myself that."

after all, ryomen sukuna was only fond of you. very, very fond of you. 

[ludwigplayingthetrombone]

[TW: blood and a small bit of gore during a flashback at the beginning]

Behold! Chapter 3 is here! this is one i added in to clarify how it fits into the mchanzo timeline! This first part takes place after chapter 5 of getting together comic.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

If you like, consider leaving a tip! or become a patron for early access and nsfw!

Genj: What is happening, Baptiste? Who is hurt? Bap: Hanzo’s in critical condition. McCree is also unconscious 

Mei: Genji, we need your help with McCree. Don’t worry, he’s stable now. Dr. Ziegler wants us to monitor him until she stabilizes Hanzo. Echo: What happened, mei? Mei: ...Reaper attacked him. I held him off until hanzo could save us. McCree woke up, so we fled. McCree went back to help Hanzo while he insissted I go help evacuate the area. But.. I told snowball to watch out for him. Then...

“McCree said Hanzo was shot by Reaper. [genji’s uneven, desperate grunts/ breathing] Gabe: That’s enough, kid, he’s dead! He was dead 10 minutes ago

Gabe: They can’t hurt you anymore. Genj: He isnt HERE! What’s the POINT. He needs to die! I have to kill him! I JUST WANT HIM DEAD I just want him DEAD! I’ll only be satisfied when he’s dead, Reyes.

Bap: Genji

Bap: You zoned out, what’s on your mind? Genj: When I was in Blackwatch... I told reyes over and over that I wanted nothing more than for Hanzo to die painfully. Bap: That is... understandable given what you were going through. Genj: I am worried Reaper said... or this influenced him to... I wanted to bring that period up with Hanzo myself. Bap: You are not to blame.

Genj: I told McCree that, but i know he feels the same. Bap: You had no idea any of this would happen, Genji. Could you have predicted Overwatch would fall when Reyes killed Antonio? You think I knew my contribution to Talon would lead to suffering? There’s no way we could have known. The people who helped you out of a dark time now vowing to hunt you down... I dunno, just-. People having an intimate knowledge of you when you were so vulnerable is... terrifying.

Bap: That is more on his character than anything. And a betrayal of your trust in him. Hanzo will understand. Genj: Thank-you for helping save my brother. Bap: You’re very welcome

Genj: When do we separate?  He’s holding on?? I-um! I have to help plan a mission, so I have to go now. Bap: O-Oh sorry! Be safe. Genj: I’ll see you. I have to tell McCree too. bap: See you.

Genj: [I shouldn’t have chickened out... Maybe it could have lasted longer. I refuse to fall for another medic.] Mc- Oh sorry if i startled you! Bap: Are you showering? Water’s cold. Genj: No, I got a present for you on my mission! Bap: Oh?

Genj: Behold! Look how cute! Bap: You laugh, but i’ll wear it. Genj: What have i Done.... Got it!

Pharah: Go to bed. Bap: Genji... [genji snores] Jess: No,no,no, listen, far, we staked out the place for 48 hours and-.... [genji’s back cracks and he moans]

Genj: Oh!! Evening! I didn’t know you were back!

Bap: H-Hey! Flexing the ‘stache tonight? Genj: oH! I forgot, forgive me. I thought I was alone. Bap: It’s just your face, Genji, it’s ok. Genj: I know, but it’s scandalous! [bap chuckles] Bap: One moment, rock in my shoe... Genj: I don’t have that problem

Genj: You’re staring

Bap: I uh- It wasn’t... I- Genj: I was expecting a cool quip from you. I’m disappointed. Bap: You looked so contemplative and cool. Like you have something you want to say.

Genj: What makes someone a hero? Is someone a hero because they want to be one or because they have to be one?

Bap: Asking the hard questions tonight? Genj: I’ll admit I don’t know if I consider myself a hero... The media does, but... am i really? I’m not sure why i returned after the deal Overwatch forced my hand to take. Used then tossed aside. Did I want to save people or did I want to see my friends again?... I don’t think i’m a nice person.

Bap: Well.. why can’t it be both? Why is wanting to be with people you like such a selfish thing? Genj: I suppose. I don’t feel I deserve it. I grew up in a high place of privilege and notoriety. But now, I don’t feel apart of society at all anymore.

Genj: More like I’m stuck between different planes. I based so much of my identity on my status as an heir to the clan. Now that it’s bee stripped away from me... I don’t recognize what’s left. Looking at myself in a mirror, I don’t recognize myself.

Genj: I’ve been having these thoughts... Do my friends like me or do they pity me? Bap: Look at me. I neber knew the old you, and I think this you is a hero. So, if you don’t believe your old friends, then... How about believing me?

Bap: Your friendships are real. Your compassion is real. Your dumbass-edness is real. I assure you, you’re a unique, interesting man. I like this Genji.

Genj: You’re starting to sound like a comic book hero. Bap: Ah. I do don’t I? NO! [laughing] Genj: ouch, I need to cut my hair again.

Bap: [cough] It’s cold, I’m headed back.

genj: Yosh

Bap: Are uh- Are you headed to eat? Genj: yes. It’s Angela’s shift to cook, so prepare yourself. Bap: I’ve already taken imodium and ordered backup pizza [chuckle]

Oh no.

[zunniva]

The Wallflower

“So have you made any friends yet?” I can hear the sarcasm on my sisters voice, she knows I don't really know how to make friends and she always needs to remind me about it at any given opportunity.

“I just got here you know, haven't been out and about much. Just work and trying to sort out the apartment ok?” I sigh in to the phone

“Yeah well we both know that when I call you in 2 weeks you'll be using that same excuse...or any of the other 30 ones you have in store. You're gonna be as alone there as you were back here” she snickers

My sister's always been mean to me about not having an easy time meeting new people. But it's gotten worse since I graduated high school 3 years ago. I was living with her, sharing an apartment before I came here, hated every minute of it. She is my opposite; cool, calm and collected amongst strangers. Has no problem talking, trusts people to be honest, she's outgoing and she's the pretty one... Mum always said “here's my lovely daughter Laura...and there's the other one” pointing at me

“Laura, it's been a week...” I say

“Well? So? I mean I'd been at college for 2 days when I got invited to my first party, 3 days I got a date... A week is like a life time. You have what, 1 friend and you've known her since you were 5... I think it's time to talk to people, or you'll be sad and alone forever. Fucking eternal wallflower” she's annoyed I can't see the joy in meeting new people “and you need to get a date soon or you'll dry up like a prune, I mean seriously I lost my virginity in senior year, that was kinda late...and you're 2 years older than me. Like...you should have been first. You're not ugly...per say. I mean that 'don't look at me' thing you have going isn't attractive but I mean you have pretty...eyes.”

“Thank you... Well, my life my choices Laura. Like always” I sigh, I'm so sick an tired of her dictating what “I NEED” to do according to her. Like the virginity thing, yeah she lost it her senior year... That was 2 years after I graduated, and I mean I could tell her that so did I, lose it in my senior year...only, she lost it by choice to someone who liked her, I did not. I was a joke to someone at one of the only parties my sister ever got me to come along to. I was the designated driver that night for my sister and her friends. This guy I'd liked for years started flirting with me, and starved for attention as I was I fell for it. He fucked me rough from behind so he wouldn't have to look at me. He wasn't kind, he wouldn't kiss me or even touch me, I wasn't pretty enough for that. He told me when I tried to touch him, told me to keep my fat ugly hands to myself all he wanted was my pussy. After he laughed at me and told me I was just a bet. His friends bet him he couldn't get the loser wallflower to drop her panties for him, and “lucky” for him I was a real easy fuck so now he won the bet. This then led to him making the time we had left in school a living hell, spreading a rumour in our class that I practically begged him to fuck me so I wouldn't graduate a virgin. This along with everything else I had to live through made me even more of a loner. And now I have to listen to my sister telling me I need to get laid so I don't dry up, I'd rather actually. I've been in therapy for the last 2 years about it so, I mean not saying I'm ok with it, but the feelings following that night have subsided somewhat. I will never ever forgive him but hopefully someone, some day might be able to help me heal some of the damage done. Doubtful though seeing as I shy away from everyone instinctively.

“Yeah your choices SUCK Kat... How on earth could you think that moving to fucking nowhere in Indiana would make any difference? You don't even have your freaky friend around. What you're gonna hang out with one of your old teachers forever? That's fucking SAD!” Laura is getting pissed now that she hasn't managed to spark a response from me. It's easier to zone her out over the phone I've noticed.

“You do realize I'm closer to Casey now than I was at home? She literally lives in Indianapolis... Like a 1 hour car ride away. And what's wrong with Stella then? She's like 15 years older than me, not as ancient as you make her sound. I mean seriously Laura, if you can't be civil...just don't call me any more. I'll see you for Christmas and mum's birthday that'll be plenty” I say

“FINE!” and she slams the phone down in my ear, I actually let out a sigh of relief. She's going to call in 2 weeks again. I'm sure of it, she can't not be a a pain in my ass, and she's the nosiest person I know. She NEEDS to ask me about my life, she fucking craves it. It's not that I hate her...but sometimes, MAN do I hate her!

So backstory to how I ended up here in Hawkins, Indiana.

I grew up in Seattle, when I was 5 my mum and dad split up and she moved to a new apartment in another part of town. Me and Laura moved with mum, and I started school with all new kids. This is when I met Casey. The only friend I've ever had. I wasn't as shy and withdrawn until I was about 12. That's when the bullying started to become so bad I kinda evolved into a wallflower to avoid being noticed at all. Casey was always there trying to protect me but she was a bit odd herself so it usually ended up with us against the world. She on the other hand were raised by a single dad and have 3 older brothers who taught her to fight so the older she got the less anyone messed with her. I was shy, had glasses, was chubby and puberty hit early making me the only girl in class with boobs instantly making me “the slut” among the girls in my class. Because apparently, as everyone knows... If you have boobs you're doing it with the guys. Middle school was awful except for Ms Johnsons class, she was the only teacher who saw I didn't want to talk in front of people and the only one who respected that. We became unlikely friends as she would let me hang out after class if Casey wasn't around.

By the time high school rolled around my missions to disappear into the walls was successful, no one ever noticed me at all. This became such a part of my everyday routine I couldn't get out of it. I'd learned that Ms Johnson had moved back to her home town when I hit senior year, I was sad about that. Because now that meant that I only had 1 person left on school grounds who actually liked me, and that was Casey. But she was athletic and had a lot of things going on outside of class so I was alone, very alone, most of the time now. My mum used to try and make me hang out with Laura and her friends, but oh my good god did I not want to do that! It was one of these times when she'd made me drive Laura and her awful gang of friends to a party that the...thing happened. After that I became even more withdrawn from people. This is when my sister really turned on me and became the worst of the bullies. She'd comment on what I wore, what I ate, how I looked, my weight, my inability to make friends, my grades and finally my decision to not apply to college after high school. Everything I did was wrong, but hey apparently I have pretty eyes at least. I think that's the nicest thing she's ever said to me.

So after graduation I worked for a while at a local library and I liked it fine. Mum was SO disappointed that I with my good grades didn't apply to a college when Laura got in to her first choices with her average grades. I asked her point plank if she thought that me with my social anxiety would thrive in a college setting? She just scoffed at me saying something about it just being in my head and I needed to get over myself and grow up. Yeah, real supportive that woman. Dad suddenly passed away leaving a small fortune to me and my sister. We'd never known he had money, maybe not telling us was his way of keeping it from mum. Well Laura bought an apartment straight away, she was “to good” to be living in a dorm anyway. She spent the rest of the money fairly quickly. Me... I still have almost all of it, seeing as I have nothing I want to spend money on,I just have it... I did buy a car though. That was it.

So I moved in with Laura for a while when mum basically threw me out as she met this guy. Then one day out of the blue Ms Johnson called me

“Hello Kat, it's Stella”

“Ms Johnson, hi how are you?”

“Kat...it's Stella. We're both adults now” I could hear her smile

“Ok, Stella. How are you?”

“Oh I'm good thanks, how are you?”

“Well... Ok I guess. Living with my sister so I've been better” she knew the kind of relationship I have with Laura.

“Ouch, well then maybe I'm some kind of fairy godmother calling you like this then. You know I moved back to Hawkins a few years ago?”

“Yeah, I was devastated when I got back to school and you weren't there any more” I say

“Aw, I'm sorry but this thing came up out of the blue and I had to decide fast. So my uncle passed that year and he left me his book store here in Hawkins, I grew up in this store so I couldn't say no when his lawyer called me. But now, I decided I wanna travel some before I become to old” she chuckles “so I wanted to ask you if you'd have any interest coming here and running the store for me while I'm gone?”

“Excuse me? Me, run your book store? Are you for real?” having a book store has always been my dream

“Well I remember you talking so much about it being your dream when we'd have our talks I thought who better to ask” she says and I feel like crying

“Yes... without any doubt yes!”

“Well... you do realize some of it will include talking to people?” she says

“Well... I need to learn sometime, can't be hiding in my local library for ever stacking books. Plus, it's not a big town right?” I ask

“No it's on the smaller side, very charming if you ask me. But then again I grew up here so I might be bias” she says with a laugh “there's barely ever a crowd anywhere except on holidays and then I keep the store closed anyway so you can hide if you feel like it. But I was thinking you could come here like a month before I leave to I can teach you what you need to know. Does that sound ok?”

“Absolutely, when would you like me to be there?” I say feeling excited for the first time in...well forever

“Well I was planning on leaving in June so maybe come at the beginning of May? Or is that too soon?”

“It's not soon enough” I laugh “I would pack up and leave by tomorrow if that's the case”

“Well, I couldn't pay you that much right now and I'd feel bad. But if you'd like to you can come at the middle of April then? That's like 3 weeks from now”

“You have yourself a deal Stella” I say

Telling Laura and my mum I was leaving was the hard part. I think mum always counted on me being there for her to run errands and such so she wouldn't have to and Laura...well she needed me to help pay rent. Otherwise she had no interest in what I did.

“You can't fucking LEAVE?! What about the rent? I can't make that being a full time student!”

“Well you'll just have to take some money from your savings then” I said, knowing very well she spent it all “until you can get a room mate that is”

“Yeah...well. I could, but what if I wanted to live with my sister then, huh?” she tries

“You want to live with me? Laura c'mon no one's gonna believe that. Least of all me. Just get a room mate from college, I bet there's a lot of people wanting to get out of the dorms and live in an apartment down town instead” I say as I mentally start deciding what to bring with me

“A room mate? Like... a stranger?” she looks puzzled

“Well you always say you have such an easy time getting to know people. So get to know someone and ask them to move in. Or just ask any of your existing friends... You do have choices. Whether you like or not I am going to move to Indiana in 2 weeks.”

“Oh you'll be back once loneliness hits you” she's suddenly snappish again

“We'll see” I say and I go to my room and start making a list of things to bring. I decide to call Casey

“Hello?”

“Hey Casey”

“Hey Kat, how you doin' girl?”

“Better than ever, I'm moving”

“Wow...really? Where to?”

“Indiana”

“WHAT!? But where, why, when?”

“This town called Hawkins, Stella called and asked me to be her sub for a while when she's travelling. I'm going to manage her book store for a while”

“Wow! Cool, I didn't know you kept in touch with her”

“Not really kept in touch per say. We've talked maybe twice over the years, but now she just called out of the blue. I'm leaving in 3 weeks, but I thought maybe I can come see you for a week before I leave for Hawkins?”

“Of fucking course you can sweetie”

“Awesome! I'll be there around the 11th maybe?”

“Sure thing! You driving all on your own or?”

“Yeah, I mean I could have my things sent there, I'm not bringing any furniture only my books and clothes. Everything else I can buy there once I know where I'll be staying. But I want to have my car with me so driving seems the best option”

“Well... I was going to come home and see mum and dad soon so what if I come there and then we'll have a road trip back here?”

“You'd do that?”

“Yeah I mean why wouldn't I? Isn't that what best friends are for?” I can hear her smile

“I'd love that Casey! Call me when you've booked your flight and I'll make sure to be ready to go”

“Will do, and sweetie... I think this small town thing might be good for you. City life hasn't been good to you. You might even grow the balls to meet some new people. Gotta go though, talk to you tomorrow or something. Bye love ya”

“Love ya, bye”

Grow the balls to meet new people, nah...not likely. I would however need to talk to people if they come in to buy books. I need to mentally prepare myself for that somehow.

The weeks leading up to leaving are...well strange. Mum calls daily trying to get me to change my mind, and Laura...well she's not speaking to me at all. So at least something is good in all of this. I've packed everything I want to bring with me, the rest I've donated to Goodwill. Casey called me and told me we can leave on the 11th in the morning if we want to. It will take about a day and a half to drive if we make good time and don't stop too often. I'm heaven I'm finally getting out of this place and leaving it and all bad memories behind.

So that was 2 weeks ago, I've been living in Hawkins for 1 week now. Stella helped me find this amazing apartment right in the middle of town. I live about a 10 minute walk from the book store. Stella is super nice, the store is heaven. I've always loved books, they've been my friends when I had no one else. I love that I can be in any world in an instant. I've fallen in love with Mr Darcy, gotten lost in Narnia with Lucy, I've been on an adventure with Bilbo Baggins and not once have I been bullied or made fun of. Books are my escape and have always been. I read absolutely everything I can get my hands on. I might actually lose money from working here. Stella's been teaching me where everything is this first week, next week is ordering both for the store but also how to make orders for customers. Then the third weeks is the one I dread the most...that's when I'm to learn the register and how to do sales. That's when I have to interact with people. But so far everyone that's been in here seems very friendly, and the atmosphere in town is so much calmer than anywhere I'd been in Seattle. Casey calls almost every night asking how I'm doing.

Time jump 4 weeks

“So you'll be ok now? You know how everything works? And remember if there's anything just call Francis ok? I know you can do this Kat, you've been doing great so far!” Stella hands me the keys on Sunday, the night before she leaves

“Yeah, I think I can do it without help. The downside to having a eidetic memory... I can now remember every instruction manual to everything in the store, plus everything you've told me”

“God I wish I had that, would make ordering so much easier if I didn't constantly have to look up order numbers all the time” Stella sighs

“Well, you can just take a deep breath and leave the store in my hands now. Have a great time and send me postcards from everywhere”

“I will, you're my hero Kat! I know you'll do great. Promise me one thing though... at least TRY to make one friend? This town can get boring otherwise” she smiles at me and I promise her I will try, she accepts that and gives me a hug and leaves.

Stella had been saving up for this trip for years, she's going on a round the world trip. So I'm here for at least 6 months if not more, she's visiting friends as she travels most of them in Europe. She also wanted to do a trip through the US when she gets back so she might be another couple of months if I'm doing ok. I'm nervous about the following day being my first alone in the store. I make dinner, then I put away the last of my books. I finally got the bookshelves I ordered delivered so now all my things have a home. I must say the apartment is very cosy, I might have to invite Casey soon.

Monday 10 am

I turn the 'OPEN' sign and unlock the door, it's my first day alone in here. Mondays are slow so I'm in for a smooth start at least. I have some ordering to do and some reorganizing I've been planning. I think the layout of the store could be better. I'm half way through the science corner when I hear the bell on the door. I look around the corner and I see a girl about my age looking around

“Hello? Anyone here?”

“I'll be right with you” the words were stuck for a second but I got them out. I come out from the corner with a smile, I've tried SO hard to make my smile look not so uncomfortable but more open and friendly. “Hey, how can I help you?”

“Oh, hi... Where's Stella?”

“Ehm, Stella has taken some time off. I'm going to be here for a while taking care of the store for her”

“Wow, ok. Well... welcome to Hawkins then I suppose. So, you're new... never seen you before so not a local. I'm Robin, I work at Family Video. I tend to talk too much so just slap me when you need me to shut up. Uhmm... So I need this book right...well duh I'm in a book store. Well so, I read about this book in a magazine and they recommended it if you're like in to science fiction and stuff. 1984? You have it? I know it's like on some high schools reading list... but yeah Hawkins made it's own rules. I mean they thought the kids in the DnD club were Satan worshippers” I just stare at her... there are a lot of sounds coming from such a petit person

“Ok...woah there” I stop her talking “you're looking for 1984 by George Orwell did I get that right?”

“Yeah, right” big smile

“Ok, yeah I have it. I'll get it for you” I go and I get the book she's looking for “here you go. Was that all?” I want to make some kind of small talk she seems nice but my brain can't find any words that aren't book store related

“Thanks, so when did you move to Hawkins and where from?” she smiles at me again

“Well... I came here 5 weeks ago now, from Seattle”

“Seattle? Wow that's far... but like...why here?” She puts her elbows on the counter and stares at me with interested eyes

“Ehmmm... I know Stella from before. She used to be my teacher in middle school. She called and asked if I wanted the job while she was travelling”

“Cool, where she off to then? How long are you here for? Where do you live... I mean do you know anyone but Stella around here?” A lot of questions and my mind is quickly going blank

“I'm sorry... I suck at small talk. I think I'm here at least 8 months, she's going to go around the world. Ehhhh... I live in the blue house on Main...and I know no one”

“Ooook...so when Stella does something she does it thoroughly apparently! Awesome! Well... I can be your friend, and my 2 best friends are amazing I think you'd like them... Wanna hang out sometime?”

“I...ehmmm... I don't know...how to be around new people” I blush

“I think you're doing just fine... I mean I can be a handful and so far you've answered all of my questions. Steve's a bit more mellow but Eddie...well he can be like me a bit intense. But they're great” she smiles. So her friends are...guys.

“So one of them your boyfriend or?” I ask

“Noooo... I'm a lesbian”

“Oh... my best friend is a lesbian” I have no idea why I tell her this

“She is? Bring her here I'll be my most charming self... I mean if she's single that is”

“She is... as far as I know. I was going to invite her here this weekend.” I say thinking that this Robin might actually be just Casey's type

“Cool, well I need to run thanks for the book” she says and pays “so if you wanna hang out and meet Steve we work until 7 pm. So when you close up just, you know come on in to the video store and say hi. You pass it on your way home” she gives me yet another smile and it feels so friendly I can't stop my mouth

“Maybe you wanna come to dinner with me tonight? You can bring your friends? I was gonna make lasagna...” WHAT THE HELL?

“Sure! We'd love to I know I can answer for the guys to”

“What are they like... I mean what do they like to do... I wanna know if I have anything to talk to them about... I... haven't made a friend since I was 5...” I say and I turn a deep red color

“5!? Wow then you need us” she giggles “well Steve he's mostly in to movies and girls... Eddie is a mechanic who loves rock 'n roll and DnD” she says

“Well... I love movies to and ...well I've read every DnD book that's come out so I might have something to talk to them about then” I smile and this time it feels natural

“Wow... So you're a nerd too then? Eddie's gonna love you. Damn gotta go but we'll be at yours around 7:30 then. Blue house on main?”

“Yes, 2nd floor, door on the right. It says K. Smith on the door”

“Nice, see you then” and she's out the door. I start to hyperventilate, what the hell did I jut do? Did I invite 3 complete strangers in to my home? I need to call Casey! I go in to the office and pick up the phone dialling the number for Caseys office

“Casey Rowling, Human resources”

“Hey”

“Kat?”

“Yeah, panicking”

“Why? What happened?”

“I think I've done something potentially stupid”

“Ok?”

“I've invited 3 strangers to have dinner with me tonight”

“Wait....what? YOU did what?”

“Yes....yes exactly I did what... This girl came in looking for a book, talking oh my god she was talking. I like her though and before I knew it I asked her and her 2 guy friends over for dinner tonight. What the hell do I do Casey?”

She chuckles “Well I'd say make dinner... But c'mon Kat, this is a good thing. So ok a girl and 2 guys... like boyfriend and friend or what?”

“Nah she plays for your team... They're her best friends”

“She does...she cute?”

“Well she did want me to bring you here... She's energetic, ehmmm... red hair, greenish eyes, pretty, petit...very friendly and talks A LOT!” I say trying to describe Robin “Oh yeah her name is Robin and she has freckles”

“Sounds like a real cute girl... Soooo...when can I come meet her” Casey laughs

“Well...let me see first if I scare them away with my complete lack of social skills or if they'll hang around for a while” I giggle

“Aww c'mon Kat, you're awesome. Just try to relax and they'll love you. I know I do...and you've been a weirdo since we were 5”

I know she thinks so, and I mean...if she hadn't then why would she have been my friend for 17 years. I just have a really hard time showing anyone else that. She knows this

“I know you're freaking out about this, but something about this girl must have struck a chord with you Kat. Or you wouldn't have invited her, and her friends... I mean good girl right there! Maybe you'll fancy one of her friends? I know you're hurt real bad but not every guy is like that asshole sweetie, maybe... I don't know keep an open mind?” she just wants what's good for me I know but that pit in my stomach that's churning and reaking havoc right now is soooo bad. “I realize you need support here but... I have to work I have a meeting in 5 and I need to look through my notes. You gonna be ok? I can call when I get home around 6:30?” she says

“I don't know... I mean I am freaking out you've got that right. But, I think I'll be fine. If they're anything like Robin they'll keep the conversation going even if I'm not.” I smile at the memory of the very talkative girl “Ok so work hard and play nice. Good luck in your meeting and I'll call you before you go to work tomorrow instead. I might be to busy preparing the food by 6:30 to get to the phone. Love ya” I say

“Love ya to, and you play nice also. Have fun, I'm rooting for you! And just imagine when Laura calls next time and you can actually tell her you've made 3 new friends, might kill the bitch” Casey chuckles and we hang up

She's right... If this night goes well I can finally tell my sister that yes I have made new friends, 2 being male even, she's going to hate that. This makes me smile as I continue rearranging in the store. There's a few more customers coming in throughout the day. Just that small encounter with Robin being kind of a success, from my point of view, makes interaction with any one else coming in to the store easier. I have a smile on my face the whole day, as I close up for the day the butterflies in my stomach start acting up. It's 4:30... In 3 hours I'll have people over, people I have no relation to. I go to the supermarket and get he things I need for dinner, then as I walk past the video store I look inside, I can't see Robin anywhere but I do see a tall, fucking gorgeous guy with great hair stacking some shelves. Maybe that's Steve? No... I mean she would have mentioned if she was bringing someone so handsome it might make me cry. I giggle to myself as I continue home.

Earlier at Family Video

“Steve, you're not busy tonight are you? After work?” Robin strolls in from her morning break

“Nah, was gonna hang out with Ed for a bit”

“Good! Call him and tell him to meet us here. We're all invited to dinner!” Robin smiles

“Dinner? Where?” Steve sounds confused

“I met this really cute chick at the book store. Apparently Stella is travelling the world and this girl from Seattle came to run the store for her. She doesn't know ANYONE here Steve and she's been here a month already. So I kinda said yes when she invited us for dinner...she's making us lasagna” big smile again

“Wait, wait... what? Let me get this... Stella's gone on a trip?”

“Yes”

“This girl from Seattle is running the store for her while she's gone?”

“Yes”

“She's been here a month and still doesn't know anyone?”

“Nope”

“And she invited US for dinner... you sure she didn't just invite you and you're bringing us along as a package deal?”

“No she said to bring my friends if you guys weren't busy. She's real shy but oh my god Steve she's so cute. I think...and I'm sorry dude, but she's just Ed's type. She's read EVERY  DnD book there is, but she loves movies to so I guess you'll have something to talk to her about as well. Soooo... we're going right?”

“Ok... So cute but shy girl asks us 3 to come have dinner? You think I'm passing up a home cooked meal? Do I look like an idiot?”

“Yes...but I thought you'd go for it anyway” Robin makes a face at him “Now call Ed while I get to unpacking stuff. We're to be there at 7:30 ok”

“Ok, I don't even know how to explain this to him but I'll call” Steve sighs and goes over to the phone

“Yeah this is Eddie”

“Yeah... So long story that I have no clue how to explain to you dude, but be here at 7 we're going to dinner at a new girl's house. Robin will...well I guess attempt to explain it to you”

“Steve? I...what?”

“Just be here at 7”

“Ok...fine see you at 7”

Steve hangs up, still confused

“THERE, I CALLED, HE'LL BE HERE AT 7” Steve calls to Robin in the back

“GREAT DINGUS! NOW COME HELP” she calls back and he sighs and goes to the back to see what the problem is.

At around 5 he happens to look out the window as he's putting new arrivals out on the shelves. He sees this very cute girl passing by looking in. She doesn't see that he's looking at her but she seems to be scanning the store for something or someone. Maybe that's the girl Robin met? She sure was cute, maybe not exactly Steve's type but he can definitely see Eddie go for her.

Back at Kats place

Even though I've made probably hundreds of lasagnas through the years now I'm struggling to remember the steps. My mind is so preoccupied with actually hanging out with new people it's starting to overheat I think. I have to leave it all and go out on the balcony just to get some air, this is ridiculous... Robin was a real nice girl, so her friends ought to be nice to? And if you don't hit it off with them then at least you've taken a step in the right direction. I try to give myself a pep talk like Casey would. I look at the time, it's 6, I need to get started now. Cooking and baking is a hobby I've always enjoyed. It calms my mind. I take a deep breath and I shake my whole body trying to rid it of the tension. It kinda works so I get going on the food. As I start my mind finally relaxes and turns thought free for a while. At 6:45 I put the lasagna in the oven and I sit down to try and relax some more before they arrive, instant freak out. I need to shower and change how could I forget? I've been hauling books all day I must smell like a sweaty pig! I run in to the bathroom and I shower at lightning speed, dry myself off quickly and then I freeze in front of my wardrobe. What the hell to wear? Usually after work it's sweats and a t-shirt, doesn't seem fitting tonight. I look through my clothes...maybe just a pair of jeans and a nice top? I have a blue one I really enjoy, Casey said it makes me look amazing. I mean she loves me so she has to say it but maybe I can wear it regardless? I take it out and put it on, looking at myself in the mirror. Well... it didn't make me look worse than before so, I guess it's a win. I brush my hair out and I put on just a hint of perfume. It's almost 7:30, and I'm pacing in the kitchen trying to not have a fit. Set the table...yes I can set the table. There's a knock at the door as I set the plates down on the table. FUCK! One deep breath an here we go!

I open the door and I see Robins smiling face, but no one else. Did her friends not want to come?

“Hey, we're here, the guys had to have a smoke before coming up. So I brought snacks and I brought some beer. I mean not sure if you think beer goes with lasagna but I mean it goes with everything right? And these guys are a bit nervous meeting you so I promised them beer if they just relaxed a bit and yeah here's flowers for you I didn't know what to give you. I mean I had to give you something you're new in town and I said welcome didn't I?” a flood of words straight away, I just gawk at her. Her friends are nervous about meeting me? But...

“Ehmmm... hey, so yeah... welcome. I have to set the table but come in and make yourselves at home. I can take those” I say and take the beers and the flowers. “Good thinking I totally spaced out in the store and forgot to get something to drink. I'm sort of a wreck to...I haven't met new people in...well forever” I say and I head back to the kitchen. I hear voices and heavier footsteps coming through the door. I can do this! I can make small talk and I CAN act like a normal enough person for one night. I keep giving myself this pep talk as I finish setting the table and making a salad.

“Hey can I help?” Robin's suddenly standing in the door “I left the guys in your living room. Eddie's already mesmerized by your book collection... Steve's keeping an eye on him, he gets easily excited, kinda like a puppy. He might climb your shelves if not monitored” she giggles

“Huh? My books? He's in to books as well, wasn't he a DnD nerd who likes rock?”

“Yeah he is, but he reads more than anyone I know. I think he'll try and leave with at least a few of your books” I look terrified and Robin laughs “no, no like he's gonna want to borrow some of them”

“Oh, phew I thought he was going to kidnap them” I smile

“Nah I'll tackle him and you can hog-tie him if he tries” she winks at me “so did you need help?”

“You can cut up some bread if you'd like. Knives are in that drawer over there and the bread's there on the counter” I point and she nods and goes to get a bread knife

“Wow this bread is amazing, so fresh. Where did you find bread like this around here” she says as she cuts it

“Ehm... I made it” I say blushing

“You MADE this bread? Why the hell do you sell books? You should open a bakery!” she takes a piece and throws it in her mouth “OH MY GOD! I've never tasted bread like this before... You sure you're not a lesbian cuz I wanna marry you for this bread alone” she smiles

“Thank you, and no... But my friend Casey will be here soon, she's a pretty good baker as well” I say with a smile

“Oh...cool... So can I meet her?” she blushes

“I think she's counting on it, I kinda mentioned you today. I mean if we get along that well of course” I get flustered I shouldn't have said that

“Of course we're gonna be friends, why wouldn't we? And those 2 out there...you're feeding them. They already love you... puppies remember” she says and I have to laugh

“Ok, maybe I won't have such a hard time with this if I think of them as puppies” I say

“Look, I told them you're shy and that you're not used to new people. I think I'm the worst here and you've handled me like a champ. They're good guys I swear” she says and pats me on the arm

“Ok, so I guess I should go in there and introduce myself then... Could you check the lasagna? If it's soft and seems done please take it out of the oven” I say and I mentally prepare myself to go meet the guys

“Will do chef” she says and salutes me

I wipe my hands on a kitchen towel and I take a deep breath and head in to the living room. “puppies, they're puppies” I think to myself like a mantra. Until I step over the threshold and I see them. Fucking hell these aren't puppies... Wow! It IS the guy I saw through the window today, and by my bookshelves I see what I can only describe as the most handsome guy I've even seen in real life standing looking at all of my books making little notes in a notebook. My mind goes blank, what do I say?

“Uh... Hey” it's more like a croak than an actual word but at least it's a sound

2 sets of eyes turn at me, both intense, both brown. One hazel one deep chocolate. I make a whimpering sound to myself

“Heeeeey, you must be the woman of the hour. Kat was it? Robin's been talking my ear off all day about you. I'm Steve” the one I saw through the window comes up to me and shakes my hand “that's Eddie over there...and I have no idea why he's silent suddenly that never happens” he says smiling at the other one

“Oh, yeah I'm Kat. Welcome to my place” I shake his hand back and I look over at the other guy who's just staring at me “Hello Eddie” I say trying so hard not to sound like I have my heart in my throat. Still only staring from over by the books

“HEY DUDE! Snap out of it the pretty girl is talking to you” Steve snaps his fingers in Eddies direction. Pretty girl? Me?

“Oh...fuck...yeah HI... Eddie, yes I am...him” he drags his hand through his hair turning pink in the face. He comes up and he takes my hand, not shaking it just holding on “Good meeting, nice you...”

“Smooth dude... She's gonna think you're quite normal now...” Steve sighs and Eddie blushes even more. What? This is supposed to be MY move

Eddie takes a deep breath “Ok, do over. Yes I'm Eddie... It's nice to meet you” he takes my hand again and shakes it sending a jolt of something through me

“Kat, hi” I say

“Spelled like the animal or with a K?” he smiles at me I and swoon, that was some smile

“With a K. It's short for Katherine” I say

“Cool, so Kat... The books. Wow! I've been writing down all the books I wanna borrow, I think it's pretty much all of them” he smiles. Before I can say something about these not being all of my books I hear a shriek from the kitchen

“Kaaaat” I stare at the guys and excuse myself to go see what is happening in there.

“What?” I see Robin standing in front of the open oven poking at the tray with the lasagna with a wooden spoon. “Well...you know it's not going to bite you” I say

“I can't find your oven mitts... So I thought I would poke it out of the oven”

“And then what?” I have to hold my laughter

“I hadn't thought about that, ok? Help” she smiles and I go up to her taking my oven mitts from the wall beside her and she facepalms and sighs

“See...ok they were to close to my face...”

“It's fine, just go get Steve and Eddie and go sit down I'll be right there. Bring the beers to will you” I say as I take the lasagna out of the oven

“Sure thing” she says and takes the beers out of the fridge and leaves the kitchen. I stand there for a minute and breathe heavily. Ok so this seems to be going ok, I mean Eddie seemed more nervous than me there for a second. But could they not be so fucking hot? Like...what the hell is this? I don't think I've ever seen guys like these 2 before and I've grown up in a city with around half a million people in it. And Steve called me a pretty girl...like that's never happened before. EVER

One deep breath and a body shake later and I can finally leave the kitchen to join them at the table.

“Ok so here's dinner, I hope you'll enjoy it.” I say and I give them a smile

“Please...do that to me all the time...” Eddie looks at me

I'm confused “Do what Eddie?” I ask

“Smile at me...” he says and I turn blood red “oh sorry... I didn't mean to embarrass you, I just...fuck...I mean you're beautiful but when you smile like that you're exquisite” he looks at me

“Ehm...” I blush and look down at the table

“Ok, stop with the brutal honesty here Munson. I told you she's shy” I can hear Robin scold him quietly

“Sorry... I just... but she iiiisss” he hisses back at her

I glance up at Steve who's just smiling at me “Eddie can be... Well impulsive at best. You ok?”

“Yeah, I just... No one's ever said that about me before, just caught me a bit off guard” I say quietly “but thank you Eddie, really thank you.” I have to make myself look at him across the table he's just staring at me

“No one's told you you're beautiful before? You mean like here in Hawkins?” he sounds like he's in disbelief

“No... I mean like ever. Even my mum introduces me and my sister as 'her lovely daughter Laura and the other one' so... No one” I say and I have no idea why I share such personal information with people I've just met.

“You're shitting me right now?” Robins jaw has dropped and I look at her

“No... There's a reason I can't interact with new people. I just assume they're all going to be mean” I say and I look down at the table again fiddling with the fork “please can we eat now and then deal with the mess that is me on another occation?” I say

“Sure... We respect that. DON'T WE?” Steve is staring at his friends, Robin and Eddie look at each other and they blush

“Sorry, we'll behave” they say in chorus and I have to let out a small giggle. It's like they're being told off by a older brother or their dad.

“So how do you 3 know each other? You seem...very different from one another” I say amazed I'm asking questions now

“We've all been in school at the same time. I'm the youngest I graduated high school 2 years ago. Steve graduated 3 years ago and Eddie is the oldest but since he's not that in to the whole 'doing the things the teacher tells you to do' he ALSO graduated 2 years ago even if he's 23 by now.”

“Ok so let me see if I got this... Robin you're 21? Steve 22 and Eddie 23?” I ask

“Yup correct” Steve smiles at me “And you?”

“I'm 22 just like you” I say to him “also graduated 3 years ago. What about college, any one of you go?” I ask

“Nope, I have the brains but not the money, Steve has the money but not the brains and Eddie here has the brains but not the will or the money.” Robin chuckles “so we're all working class heroes”

“I like that, I hate the idea of college myself” they all look at me “Well I have pretty severe social anxiety and well... college is not the ultimate setting for someone like me. I do have both the brains and the money but...what was it Eddie, not the will?” I smile at him again remembering what Robin said

“Yeah, can't stand the idea of it really. I like working with my hands and reading stuff because I like it not because it's required for a class. So I work as a mechanic now. And then I play DnD, read and play my guitar in my spare time” it's like he's telling me all the good stuff about himself so that I'll like him

“Yeah Kat's real cool Ed... She has a... what was it you called it?”

“My eidetic memory?” I say

“Yeah that! She's read every DnD book out there and she remembers IT ALL” Robin sounds like she's trying to sell me to the highest bidder. Eddie stares at me

“ALL of them? I mean... You have any of them? I can't really afford to buy the books I have to read what little is in the magazines and then make up my own campaigns from that” he says

“Yeah I have a few of them, those books in the living room isn't my whole collection by far. My fantasy and sci-fi collection is in the bedroom” I say and both Eddie and Robin light up “eat first then you can browse” I say nodding at the lasagna. They all help themselves to the food and they're complimenting it so fiercely I feel like my head might explode from the flattery

“I mean... DnD savant, book collector, baker extraordinaire, beautiful as hell AND you can cook... Like marry me please?” Eddie says when he's finished eating leaning back patting his stomach

“HEY! I asked her first” Robin pouts

“Well maybe she's not playing on your corner, think about that? What if she wants a long haired freak instead huh?” he makes a face at her and I don't know how to react

“They're always like this don't listen to them. It's like having stubborn kids sometimes” Steve chuckles “So how come you ended up here in Hawkins of all places? Rob said you moved here from Seattle?” he sees my discomfort and changes the subject, he's quickly becoming my hero

“Well, I know Stella from when she was my middle school teacher. She was the only teacher I liked and as unlikely as it seems we became friends. We've been in touch a few times over the years since she left Seattle to come back here. Then she called me back in March wondering if I'd be interested in helping her manage the book store while she was away on her trip. She knew owning a book store was a dream of mine and I mean I couldn't say no. So I came her in the middle of April and well...here we are.” I tell them

“But like, did you know anything about Hawkins before moving here? It's not like the place people move TO really” Robin says

“Nope, I didn't know a thing. I tried reading up on the town but seems nothing happens here, not a mention in papers in years” I say. Weirdly enough the 3 of them stare at each other with a look I can't really place

“Yup, that'll be Hawkins... The capital city of nothing happening” Eddie laughs a kind of strained laugh, but I think nothing more about it. “But like... what's with the book obsession? I mean I get it books are awesome but you have like EVERYTHING in there” Eddie smiles at me

“Books don't bully you do they?” I say to him staring straight in to those amazingly brown eyes. I've never even looked Casey in the eye, and now I'm keeping eye contact with someone I met 2 hours ago.

“Uhm, no they don't...” he glances down and then looks up again “I get that, more than you think” he then proceeds to say.

“I doubt that to be honest. I don't mean to be rude but...I highly doubt you've had it as bad as me” I say and I start clearing the table to get my mind out of the spiral that inevitably will lead to me having to cry and go to bed. I take all the plates and I go in to the kitchen with them. It takes about 2 minutes and I hear Eddies voice behind me

“Would you tell me about it? I'm not as bad as I might look, I happen to be an excellent listener” he's carrying the other stuff from the table with him

“Thanks” I say and take the things from him “and...maybe. I don't know I have issues” I say and give him a small smile

“Ok, well everyone has those, in some way or another. What's one of yours? I'll tell you one of mine” he starts running the water in the sink “Yeah I'ma help you do the dishes and if you say no I WILL carry you out in to the living room and then I'll do it myself” he smiles

“You don't have to...” he stares me down “ok, ok sorry. Thank you” I smile “one issue? I'm horrible in social situations, I can not handle strangers. I can't make new friends because I don't know how to interact with people”

“Well... I would call bullshit there sweetheart, you'd never met me or Steve until tonight and you're doing just fine” he winks at me and I feel something inside of me catch on fire

“Well... You didn't see me minutes before you came here. Besides, this might sound strange but I feel like I've known you guys for years... I think it's because you ALL remind me of the only friend I've ever had. You feel....homey. Am I making sense at all here?” I say

“Sure thing, I or I mean we all feel the same. You fit in...like instantly. It's weird to think that you weren't here before so you don't know... ehh... things” he says, a bit uncomfortable at the end

“Know things?” I say as I take a towel and start drying the dishes Eddie's done

“You know what, if I can have a go at your bedroom and borrow whatever I find in there I promise to come over some day and tell you all about it. Deal?” he says

I can feel my stomach doing a flip at the thought of him and me being alone here. But not a bad one like I always felt before as I've been alone with a guy. This time it's a good flip.

“Deal Eddie! But... You can't borrow ANYTHING you find in there” I giggle, then I actually realize what I said and how he might interpret it and I go blood red and I feel like I'm about to throw up

“Wow, we have a naughty side do we? Ok so no going through the night stand, noted” he jokes then he sees my panicked look “oh god no I'm sorry... I was just being a freak... I'm sorry, bad joke”

I can't speak, all the years of being awkward and silent comes back and I lose all ability to act normal. I just wanna be the wallflower again. I dry off the rest of the dishes then I leave the kitchen and head out on to the balcony by the dining area. I need fresh air, Eddie comes out after me

“Hey, Kat... I am sorry. I didn't mean to overstep like that”

“It's...ok. I just... have issues with THAT”

“That? What...sex stuff? I'm sorry I'm being an idiot right now...but if you didn't mean what I apparently thought you meant...what did you mean?”

“I...meant like my dresses. When I said it and then you looked at me like that I realized what you thought I meant...oh kill me now” I say and I hide my face

“Hey, hey... there will be no killing of my new favourite nerd. I think you need to have a good long talk with someone who doesn't know you since before” he says and he rubs my arms and I flinch “Ok...like for real” he lets me go

“I have a therapist” I say

“No I mean, not like that. They're good don't get me wrong but I think you need like... Well hell I think you need to talk to me... I might not look it but I do have my own shit I carry around so I might be more helpful than you think?”

“You?” I think about it, would I want to talk to Eddie about myself in a deeper way than I've done so far? Maybe I do... “ok... I'll give it a go some day. Can't promise when I'll feel ok with it but thank you for being there for me even though you don't know me” I say

“Well... That's sorta what I wanna change sweetheart” he smiles “should we get back inside? Bet you 10 bucks Steve's asleep and Robin's trashing your bookshelves by now”

“TRASHING?!” I gasp

“Yeah... reaking havoc galore” he teases

“Ok, was that the master plan all along? You distract me with those eyes of yours and she goes crazy with my books?” I say

“Distract you with my eyes? Was that a compliment?” he smiles

“Don't get full of yourself, yes you have beautiful eyes, ok” I say now more worried about my books than the fact that I just gave a guy a compliment

“Thank you... and yeah of course it was all part of my plan to get you alone with me” he smirks and I tense up instantly “Kat...what's happened to you in the past? That was just an innocent wording and you tense up like I just told you I was going to hurt you... I mean I would never” his voice is hushed and a bit sad

“I'm...sorry. Bad things” is all I can say then I go back inside “as I said maybe one day we'll talk about it” I turn to him and I try to smile

He sighs and he gives me a heartfelt smile “I hope so” he motions for me to walk in front of him in to the living room. It's not quite havoc galore but it's close. Robin's been going through my bookshelves and she's pulled out books in to 2 piles. I giggle as I see Steve's asleep on the couch, just like Eddie said he'd be.

“Ok...so what’s with the 2 piles?” I say to Robin as I enter

“1 is take home now and one is get when I bring the others back...” she smiles at me kind of embarrassed I caught her

“Ok, you've been in to the bedroom yet?” I ask

“Nooo... I wanted to check with you first” she smiles

“Well seeing as you got first dibs on these shelves it’s only fair that Eddie gets first dibs on the bedroom ones” I say and I motion to him to follow me. We walk in to my bed room and his jaw drops to the floor as he enters

“How can you afford this place? And holy shit...” he sees the book shelves in here extending from floor to ceiling. He's in his own world as he drags his hands on the spines of the books. I smile as I hear him draw breath as he gets to my DnD section “like...you own these? And I can borrow them? You're sure?” he's in complete awe as he turns and looks at me

“Yes, maybe not all of them at once. Leave some so you'll have a reason to visit” I say

“Books isn't the reason I'd come visit” he smiles with his back turned to me. He picks out 3 books, then he looks over at the rest of them picking out a few more “you have books here I've never even heard of. Like are they all in English?” he asks

“Yeah, I do have a few in French that I inherited from my grandmother. They're old romance novels she bought way back when she lived in France. I can read them, I just haven't ever spoken French though so the pronunciation in my head is probably waaaay off but I don't care.” I smile

“Wow, you're like...perfect” he's looking at me now “some day, when you're ok with it I wanna kiss you. Just a heads up” he turns to the books again making sure there's nothing he's left out and my mind is racing... He wants to kiss me...some day! Not now, not this instant. Strangely I feel a bit upset by this, that he doesn't want to kiss me now... I smile at his back, and he thinks I'm perfect. I do a tiny dance before he turns around again. “Ok so I have enough to last me like a week now. But trust me I'll be back” he says

“You're welcome any day. I might have something that will interest you. But that's for another day” I say

“Awww tease... I wanna know NOW” he chuckles

“Patience there Eddie, good things come to those who wait you know” I smirk at him

“I knoooow... But I've waited my whole life and nothing good has ever happened to me” he says “so I may have become quite impatient. But for you, I'll wait” he smiles “I kinda think you're the good thing I've been waiting for” then he leaves the room and I'm stuck standing there not knowing what the hell just happened. Does he like me? Like actually LIKE me? I look at the time, it's close to midnight so I can't call Casey now and dissect this in to a million little pieces.

The 3 of them say good night and leave, and I'm alone again. I brush my teeth and I lay down in bed thinking about this day. Why haven't I done this before? It wasn't as scary as I thought it would be. Or it might be the people I had over that made the difference. Robin is wonderful, so much fun and full of energy. Steve is an absolute sweetheart and then there's Eddie. There's something there, something I can't put my finger on. I mean I know I liked the way he looked from the first sight of him but then we spoke and...he's amazing. I fall asleep with a smile on my lips, a smile from making new friends.

At 8 I'm woken up by the phone ringing. At first I can't understand what's making that god awful noise. Oh yeah, phone. I drag my ass out of bed feeling like I'm hungover from 1 beer.

“Hello?” I croak in to the phone

“Oh so you ARE alive, weren't you gonna call me before I headed to work? Now I'm skipping my morning chat and coffee with the cute girl down the hall just to call you” It's Casey

“Sorry sweetie, but it was later than I thought when they left and I feel fucking hung over from 1 beer. I think I might be hung over from socialising if that’s even a thing.” I chuckle

“Ok, but that's awesome Kat, like then it was a good evening?” she sounds so excited for me

“It was, it was so much better than I ever would have dreamed of. I really like them all” I say

“Ok, so any of the guys peak any special interest? They hot?”

“Hot? Jesus, Mary, Joseph AND the donkey Casey, they're like model fucking hot. And yeah... I think I might be crushing a little on Eddie” I blush as I say his name

“WEEEEE!” She's squealing so loud I bet her entire office building can hear her. “Ok so I am definitely coming to see you, this weekend good?”

“Uhmm... sure I guess. I mean it's me I never have plans” I say

“You might have now that you've got the hotties in your life” she teases

“Yeah right, in that case I'll just leave you with Robin then” I say

“Done deal, I gotta go love. But I am so happy for you! See people aren't that scary. Love ya”

“Bye, love ya back” we hang up and I start thinking to myself that, no people might not be so scary. OR is it that I found people that I feel connected to that made them less intimidating? Being me, I have no idea how these things work normally. Do you like meet someone and go Hey I like you , I'm keeping you and then that's it? You're friends? I hop in the shower and get dressed, feeling so light and summery today. I look out the window and I see the clear blue sky and the sun and I decide to wear a dress today. I usually never wear dresses as I never feel cute enough to pull them off, but today I'm in a 'fuck that' kinda mood. I pick out a flowy floral dress to mark that summer is really coming in strong now. I look in the mirror and for once I actually am pleased at what I see. Imagine that...

At 10 I open the door to the store and I continue my work from the previous day. A few customers stroll in from the street, all very welcoming and friendly. Some stay an chat a bit, mostly about where Stella's off to and how I know her. At lunch time I go in the back and have my leftover lasagna that I packed, the day is slow and it's to my liking I'm not 100% sure of everything yet. Around 2 I hear the bell over the door and I peek out from the office where I'm going through orders, I see a brown mane of curly hair disappear behind a shelf. Was that? I head out in to the store

“Hello?” I say

“Hey there” I jump at the sound coming from behind me. It IS Eddie

“Hi” I blush “I thought that was you disappearing behind the shelves” I say

“Yeah I didn't see you behind the counter so I thought I'd go look for you. Wow you look amazing” he smiles at me and my knees wobble a bit

“I do? Thank you... You look, well you always look good I suppose” I say a little more direct than I meant it to sound

“That's a weirdly direct compliment. But thanks, I like that you think I look good. Might give me a fighting chance then” he smiles even wider at me

“Fighting chance? At what?” I'm confused

“At getting you to go out with me” Eddie looks at me with those dark brown eyes and I would have followed him to then ends of the earth and then jumped off the edge if he'd asked me to

“You needn't flatter me that much to get me to do that. Quite honestly you could tell me I look like crap and I'd still go” I admit, then I realize how that sounded and I blush “Oh wait that sounded bad, didn't it? I...well I'm weird” I say with an apologetic smile

“Hey, I'm a freak so we're a match made in heaven then. And trust me I don't think you CAN look like crap so I'd never ever have to say that to you and if I ever do you have my full permission to kick my ass for being disrespectful” he says leaning on the counter smiling at me taking my breath away “so you wanna go out with me?”

I study his face as I consider what he's asking me. He doesn't look like the kind of guy that would turn on the flip of a coin to become mean or violent. What the hell

“Yes please, I'd love to” I hear my self say and I am met by the most beaming smile I've ever seen

“Awesome! Friday? I'll pick you up at 7?” he says

“Sure, sounds perfect” this will give me time to freak out enough times to take the edge of before Friday.

Eddie holds out his hand palm up, I look at it a little confused. Then I carefully place my hand on his, I think that's what he wants? He smiles, pulls my hand closer and kisses the top of it

“Until Friday then gorgeous girl” he says and leaves the book store and I am standing there in complete shock. He kissed my hand, and I didn't pull away. Some might call this a small gesture but to me it's a huge fucking deal. I run in to the back office and I pick up the phone

“Casey Rowling, Human resources”

“Yeah...freak out”

“Again? Did you ask another set of strangers to have dinner with you?”

“Nah, but see... Eddie just asked me out Friday and then he kissed my hand”

There is silence “HE WHAT? Please for the love of kittens tell me you said yes?”

“What? Of course I did, I had no reason to say no. Real or made up...”

“Pheeew good girl! See you're doing amazing there, knew moving away from  that toxic place would do you all sorts of good. So...not washing that hand any time soon I guess” she teases

“Nooooo...I've drawn an outline of where his lips touched my skin and I'm going to carefully wash around that area” I say

“I bet” Casey laughs “but hey, as little of a gesture as that seems to me I understands it's huge to you. And I'm happy for you. Guess my visit will have to wait a week then, you'll be busy this weekend” I can hear her smile

“Why not? We're only going out Friday night. You can come Saturday? I mean I might need you to freak out to in person” I say

“Sure thing, I'll be over on Saturday. But I am staying the night so invite those new friends of yours for drinks on Saturday night” she says

“Will do. Thank you Casey”

“No problem sweetie. Talk to you later”

We hang up, so ok... A date, I've never had a date. How does one act on a date? I know asking Casey would do me no good, she doesn't really date. She goes out to bars and brings girls home and then that's it. I just hope she won't do that to Robin, she seems like the relationship kinda girl not the casual hook up kind. I don't want to do it but I might actually have to call my sister...or wait... I look at the time, it's about an hour before I close for the day. I have an idea, might be a foolish one but it's worth a try if it will spare me a conversation about dating with my sister. As I wrap up the day and turn the sign to say 'CLOSED' I feel the reality of the situation hit me. What if he wants to do stuff? After the date? Do I tell him about what's happened to me on the first date or do I just say no and give no explanation... I start to feel panicked, what if he's like HIM? I don't think he is but, how can I be sure? I lock the door and I head towards Family video. I go in and I hear Robin loudly debating with someone about the excellency of Tom Cruise, apparently Robin is NOT convinced. Steve is behind the counter as I walk up

“Hey Kat good to see you, thanks for last night it was awesome” he smiles widely at me

“Hey Steve, that's sweet thank you. Hey may I have a word with you?” I ask him and he looks at me curiously

“Sure, hang on a sec. HEY ROB! Wanna come do some actual work for a bit?” he calls over to the direction I hear Robins voice coming from

“Yeah be right there, TOM CRUISE IS NOT GOD....fuuuuck” I hear and then stomping footsteps head our way. I have to laugh at her, I wholeheartedly agree, he is not. She beams when she sees me

“Heeeeey Kat! Happy to see you, what's up?” she goes in behind the counter after giving me a hug

“I was sorta hoping I could have a word with Steve real quick” I say and her eyebrows shoot up

“Ok, well sure. Keep him for all I care he's no good to me anyway” she chuckles

“I will not be dragged in to your pointless arguments with Gareth, I've told you this EVERY time” Steve smiles at her “So wanna go in the back and talk?” he asks me motioning to me to come behind the counter

“Yeah, thanks” I say and I follow him to the back room where they have their staff area

“So what's up Kat, what can I do for you?” he offers me a seat at the table and he sits down opposite me

“Well... I didn't know who to talk to. So...” I don't really know where or even how to begin “Eddie showed up at the store today” I say

“Ok, good or bad visit? Am I giving him a high five or kicking his ass?” he smiles a comforting smile at me

“Well, high five I guess... He asked me out” I say

“Well shit! Good going Munson” Steves smile gets even bigger

“See, here's the thing. I've never had a date... I don't know how to act” I blush and look down at the table

“You've never had a date? How is that even possible, a cute and nice girl like you? And I mean not that I mind but why did you come to me? I mean Robin, or your friend you told us about?” he says

I decide to ignore his first statement and go on “Well... you seem to know Eddie the best, and well. What's he like? I mean what does he like to do? On dates...”

“I have no idea, I haven't ever heard Eddie say he's been on a date so... But I mean something about you seems to have caught his interest so just keep talking about what ever you talked about last night I'd say. As for him like a person, well he's super kind to everyone, he's one of those people who cares deeply if he likes you. And he can be funny as hell or just the most obnoxious freak you'll ever meet. And a total nerd”

“I was so nervous last night I was just rambling on about everything... But ok, so I have one more question and this one is more serious please don't laugh at me” I say and I can feel tears threatening in my eyes “what about...physically? Is he...pushy? I have...intimacy issues” I say and a tear trickles down my cheek

“Eddie? Pushy? You mean...oh... hell no. I mean dude's not a virgin but he's probably the least pushy person you'll ever meet. He's flirty but I've never seen him be handsy with anyone unless they ask him to be, he's like a total gentleman. Don't tell him I said that about him” he chuckles and I have to smile

“Good...I was worried” I admit

“Don't be, however...he's one of those people who can drag anything out of you so be prepared to talk about whatever it is Kat. He's a real good guy though and I know he really likes you. He wouldn't shut up about you last night. He drove us home, spent an hour listening to him obsess over you before I could head in to bed” Steve smirks

“He...talked about me? What'd he say?” I'm curious now

“Prettiest girl he'd ever seen, a smile to die for, nerd like him, and the books... god I never wanna talk about books ever again” Steve sighs and I blush all over

“He really IS a freak” I mumble

“He is, but he's totally smitten by you. So if he hadn't asked you out on his own accord I would have done it for him” he says

“Ok, thank you Steve. This was helpful, I can't really ask Casey, she doesn't date. And other than that I only have my sister and that would have been a complete disaster asking her for advice. I like Robin a lot but she, well she's not that helpful with guys I think” I smile

“Your friend who wants to meet Robin doesn't date?” he looks confused

“Yeah, I'm hoping Robin will change her approach to dating actually. Or I will have to stop anything from happening... Casey is a serial hook up girl not a dating girl... I love her but she needs to calm down” I tell him “and I don't want her to hurt Robin. I would never forgive myself”

“Robin's a big girl I think she can handle it. But your friend's coming here soon or?”

“Yeah, she'll be here on Saturday. She wants to meet you all, so I was thinking a small party at my place? I'll cook you guys bring the drinks?” I say and Steve lights up

“Absolutely! Perfect timing to, this is mine and Robins weekend off. I can safely say we'll be there! And unless you end up killing Munson or he makes a complete ass of himself I bet he'll be there to” Steve beams “just pop in and tell us when”

“Will do, thanks again for this” I say and we get up and head out to Robin

“So you guys solve the meaning of life or did you fail?” Robin smiles at us

“We're getting there! Party at Kats on Saturday we're bringing drinks and she's bringing you a date” Steve says

“Woah... I bring booze and I get a date in return? Cool” Robin laughs

“I'll be by like Thursday after work to tell you what time to show up. Casey will most likely have told me when she's planning on showing up by then” I say and I hug them both good bye

“Sounds like a plan, see ya” Steve waves at me and I leave

“So what was that about?” Robin looks at Steve

“Munson asked her out...and she was worried he'd be handsy I guess. I assured her he's not that kind of guy. But I think she's been through some shit, you know she's never had a date ever?” Steve looks after the girl who just left

“Not once? Wow, I mean how...she's so sweet. Well good news he asked her, bad news...we're never hearing the end of it now” Robin smiles and they go on with their workday

As I head through town on my way home I decide to pop in to the supermarket and get some stuff for dinner. When I'm done and finally step in to the staircase of my building I can hear the phone ringing. I sigh, it's been 2 weeks I know exactly who's on the other end. I drag my feet not wanting to talk to Laura today. I want to remain happy, but I know she'll just call later again. I head inside and I put away the groceries I bought and I change in to some comfy clothes and then I take a deep breath and I pick up the phone and I call my sister

“Hello, this is Laura”

“Hey, it's me”

“Why didn't you answer earlier?”

“I heard the last few rings when I was heading up the stairs. I had groceries I had to put away before I could call you back” I say

“Well, you could have hurried up a bit. Wasting my time calling if you weren't gonna answer anyway”

“Well... If that's the case we can just hang up. I mean If calling me is wasting your time Laura I bet actually talking to me is even more so?”

“Well someone's gotta keep track of you. I bet mum hasn't called you?”

“She has, I had a quick talk to her Sunday, she knows I'm good. Did you actually want something?” I'm getting fed up with this

“Well I wanted to hear if my sister is doing ok, I mean hello”

“Laura, you don't care. What did you REALLY want to talk about?” I sigh

“Make any friends yet?” there it is, the sarcastic snappish tone

“What's it to you anyway Laura? Wouldn't you be happier if I was just alone all the time? That would make your opinions about me true...”

“Woah, who's pissed you off today? I was just asking”

“Yeah, you ask...every 2 weeks you JUST ASK. And do you ever expect a different answer than the one you always get? Would you actually listen if I told you anything other than no? We both know you wouldn't, because you don't want to hear it. It would upset your world view Laura. You know what? I don't have time for you. We'll talk in 2 weeks unless you by some miracle finally understand I have no interest listening to you being rude to me for 15 minutes. So to wrap things up, you pissed me off today. Just by calling”

“Bitch! You on your fucking period or what? Damn, that attitude will not help you! By the way, I would SO listen to you if you told me you made friends. Mostly so that I could burst that delusional bubble of yours. I don't think I wanna call you in 2 weeks, not if this is the thanks I get for caring how you're doing. You'll miss me though, and I might consider answering when you call to apologize” she snarls at me

“Don’t hold your breath! See you at Christmas then” I say and I slam the receiver down, I'm furious. Who's she to call me a bitch? I'm so angry I burst in to tears, sitting on the floor sobbing. This is when I hear a knock at the door, a quite timid knock. Like someone's been listening to me getting angrier and angrier on the phone. I drag myself off the floor and go up to the door opening it just to find a worried Eddie standing there.

“You ok?” and I break down completely. The kindness in his voice and the warmth in those eyes gets to me, I cry like I haven't done since after the party when Casey came and picked me up.

Eddies pov

I can't stay away from her, I know I just saw her today but my feet took me here on their own. I take the stairs in just a few steps, that's when I hear her through the door. She's getting increasingly annoyed with someone on the phone. Should I knock and interrupt the conversation? No I'll just wait maybe it calms down. It doesn't soon enough there is actual anger in her voice. The last thing before she slams the phone down is a “See you at Christmas then” I wonder who's on the receiving end of that... Oh my fucking god, she's crying now. My heart sinks, I feels so bad for her.

I place a couple of careful knocks on her front door then I wait. It takes a few seconds and then the door opens and I see her, as beautiful as ever with cheeks wet from tears. I try my best not to let my worries show and I ask her if she's ok. She breaks down in to a state of crying I don't think I've ever seen anyone in before. It's probably close to what they told me Henderson looked like when he thought I died back in 86. I know she's not comfortable with touch, I figured that last night but I feel I need to anyway. I sit down on the floor next to her and I wrap my arms around her, humming to her quietly

Back to Kat

He's on the floor with me? Why would he get down on the floor? I can't move, there's an ache inside of me that needs to get out. So I cry, I cry my fucking guts out and all this guy does is wrap his arms around me and starts humming to me. Just a kind gesture but to me, it turns my whole world upside down. No one's ever shown me this kind of compassion before, not even Casey. This makes me cry even more, I grab him and I hold on tight as I let out all the pent up feelings I've been carrying around with me for ever.

“There, there sweetheart. I'm here for you. I'm going to lift you up from the floor now and carry you to your bed, ok? Then if you want me to keep holding you just, you know reach for me or something. You don't have to talk, and if you don't want me to stick around push me away or something.” he says letting me go momentarily and getting up from the floor. I feel a pair of strong arms swoop me of the floor and carry me through my apartment. He puts me down on the bed carefully and I wont let go, I can't let go. “Ok sweetheart, I'm right here. Don't worry” he whispers as he lies down next to me and once again wraps his arms around me.

I have no idea how long I've been crying for but it's getting darker when I finally feel calm enough to try talking.

“Eddie... I'm sorry” I mumble

“Sorry? For what? Whatever triggered this was in my humble opinion a good thing. This, right here needed to get out” he says in a soft voice “don't you apologize for letting the hurt go”

“But you came to visit and instead of finding the usual me you find this mess of a human” I sniffle

“Hey, I don't mind the mess. She's just as pretty. And apparently you needed me or you would have told me to go. So I stayed”

“You're perfect aren't you” I whisper

“Me? Not even close, but thank you. Maybe I'm perfect for you” he whispers back “You feeling better now?” he hugs me a little tighter

“Yeah, I think I do. I haven't cried that bad in about 3,5 years” I say

“Well overdue on the tears then” he says not bugging me to talk but I can't stop myself. Before I know it I'm telling him about Laura, all the years of bullying from my own sister. How mum never wanted to acknowledge it. About becoming more and more of a wallflower and then never hearing the end of it from my own sister, how she's pestering me about making friends, how I need to find a guy before I dry up. All the stuff I've had pent up inside for years and years. Eddie's just there listening to the flow of words and tears. Then without even thinking about it, feeling so comfortable with him I hear myself saying

“And this whole 'you need to lose your virginity crap' I can't fucking tell her it's too late. That I was used by the only guy I ever liked in school, he fucked me but wouldn't touch me in any other way because I was a fat, ugly loser. I can't explain to her what it's like to hear you were a bet that he wanted to win, that fucking me was just another way to humiliate me, and then for him to just laugh and leave me on a bed in a strange house. How this alongside all the shit she put me through makes me think everyone will end up being mean to me so I shy away instead of talking to people. That that's what's become of me in great part because of her... I could tell her but she won't care and that's what's pissing me off the most. She just DOESN'T CARE” the tears start streaming down my face again as I tell Eddie about the thing I never ever talk about. I can hear him draw a deep staggering breath

“Jesus sweetheart, I'm so sorry. No wonder you reacted the way you did to my awful jokes last time. I wouldn't have guessed in a million years it would be that bad. You don't talk about this I take it?” his voice is soft and I hear the underlying sadness

“No I don't, I told Casey when it happened but then I wouldn't bring it up again. I've talked to my therapist but that's about it. I have no idea why you had to be the one to hear about this, I'm sorry”

“Hey, no... Don't say that. I'm so beyond grateful that you chose to confide in me, I did tell you I'm a great listener. But... how are you feeling about that these days? I mean I get that it was life changing and I can't for the life of me understand why anyone would do something like that to another person. But like, do you think you'll ever feel that need for intimacy or...like... Fuck I don't know how to ask what I wanna know”

I look up at him, the nervousness I felt around him all last night is gone. I just feel so comfortable. “Just ask... I mean I will tell you if I don't want to answer” I say

“Ok...well... Do you think you'll ever want someone...the way...” he sighs “the way I want you?” he looks at me with a tentative smile

“My therapist told me that some day I might meet someone that would help me heal, help me realise that not everyone I meet is going to be mean to me. I didn't really believe her, but I see now she was right. I met you Eddie, you don't seem to have a mean bone in your body. As for the thing you asked...yes...there is a very good chance I'll want someone...” I blush I've never said anything like that to anyone in my life, and here I am saying it to this perfect human sitting in my bed holding me making me feel safe.

“Oh... good. I hope that someone is worthy then, or they'll have to answer to me” he gives me a half smile “and thank you for letting me help you heal, if that was what you meant”

“Eddie” I smile at him “I meant that there is a good chance I want you too, like a lot...just I need to go slow” the smile on his face could light up the darkest of rooms “but hey, you said that you wanted to kiss me some day... could this be that day?” I feel brave...and terrified at the same time

“You...want me to kiss you? Now?”

“Yes...” the answer is no more than a whisper

He sits up next to me and he turns to me, looking me deep in the eyes. His hands move slowly up to my face, tracing my jawline with his fingers. His hands softly grab my face and holds it as he lowers his face towards mine. I think I stop breathing, there's only me and him and the fact that his mesmerizing eyes are locked in to mine. He stops just before his lips meet mine “Sweetheart, you need to breathe. Are you sure about this? Please tell me if you want to stop”

I stare at his lips so close to mine and a whimper escapes my lips. He tenses and looks at me worried

“No, no it wasn't a bad sound...it was just...what if I suck at this?” I whisper and he relaxes and gives me a smile that eases any nerves I have

“I don't think that's possible” he whispers and his lips finally meet mine. I hear myself let out a small moan in to his lips and I feel him smile. The kiss is soft and careful, it's not scary at all it's just amazing. It goes on forever and I let it, I never want to stop kissing him. But he pulls away with a groan “Fuck Kat, this is soooo good. But I need to stop now or I might do something you're not ready for. I'd rather you set the pace for any more stuff happening. But...just so you know, I want you. Like in every way”

“Eddie...just wow... So that's kissing then” I giggle and I get this amazed look back

“What? Wait a god damn minute, was this...your first kiss?”

“Yeah...it was” I mumble kind of ashamed I didn't tell him before

“Oh my god, was it good though? I mean... I didn't come on to strong?” wow this guy is considerate on a whole new level

“Good? Eddie...it was perfection. I don't think there's ever been a more perfect first kiss, not even in the movies or in any of the books in this place and trust me there are hundreds if not thousands of kisses on these pages” I ramble on making a sweeping gesture at the books lining my walls

“Awww shush, making me blush here” he mumbles smiling at me

“Eddie... I didn't have much of a choice having to wait for my first kiss to happen, no-one's ever been interested in kissing me. But let me tell you I'm so insanely happy I had to wait, because now I got to experience this with you. I'm not one to be impulsive or do things on a whim, don't think I'll ever be. So this was just right, just perfect.” I try to explain what I'm thinking but I realise my brain is taking long ways around something that's just obvious “What I'm trying to say is I want you to Eddie...in every way. Maybe not tonight, that's a bit too fast, but this was a good start”

The smile I get back isn't something one can put words on, it's just...like in my books. He looks at me and leans in, pressing his lips to mine once again. Giving me a deep kiss that I can feel in my core

“I will do my very best to be the guy you need, and trust me I would never hurt you or be mean to you. I don't believe in behaviour like that, life is too damn precious to act like an ass to people.” he says leaning his forehead against mine

“Eddie...”

“Yeah?”

“I'm sorry for putting all of this on you in one go. But what did you actually want when you came here tonight? I didn't ask” I say

He chuckles “I wanted to see you, I couldn't get you out of my mind. So I thought I'd come here and maybe get to talk to you, and I was curious about that thing you said you had for me. This was just icing on the cake sweetheart, and I don't mind you telling me all of this. I'll try to help you heal as best I can” he kisses my forehead and I smile

“Aww, you wanted to see me? Twice in one day, how lucky am I?” I smile

“Sweetheart, I'd wanna see you every minute of the day if it was up to me. Somehow from the second I laid eyes on you I was caught, might be because you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen as well as the most interesting one”

“Stop flattering me like this...making me flustered” I giggle

“Hey, I only tell the truth here girlie, deal with it” he smirks

“Oh ok then, keep going” I can't deny liking him SO much already.

“Oh I will, don't you worry about that. I'll keep flattering you from now until you get sick of me. But seriously though...what did you have for me” he looks like a kid on Christmas waiting for Santa to come bearing gifts

“Oh yeah, right. Come” I say and I take his hand getting off the bed. We go out in to the living room and I tell him to sit down on the couch while I get what I was talking about. I go to one of the cupboards in the hallway and I rummage through the boxes stacked in there. All neatly labelled, I get out 3 big notebooks and I bring them over to Eddie. “Here I think you might like these, you can have them if you want” he looks puzzled as he takes the notebooks from me. He opens one and starts reading the text, his eyes open wide and he stares at me

“These are campaigns... Like really well written amazing campaigns. Where'd you get these?” he asks

“I....wrote them” I blush

“You made these? Like for real? Woooow...they're better than anything I've ever written, hey did you say I could HAVE them? Did you mean borrow them?” he's talking and reading at the same time

“No, I meant have them. I have no need for them, I just made them up over the years. Some of this is like therapy, I must admit quite a few of the monsters you'll encounter are meant to be Laura” I giggle “since apparently killing your sister is illegal... I had to get some other outlet at times”

He looks up at me and bursts out laughing “You're killing me here, so if I get the gang to kill these monsters I'll be helping you out. Cool, but ok I'll accept these on one condition”

I look at him, what does he want from me?

“I want you to join me at one of Hellfires game nights ok? You won't have to talk to any of the others unless you want to. But I want you to be there for at least one of these campaigns of yours, so you can be there for the kill” he smiles

“Hellfire?” I say

“Yeah Hellfire Club, it was originally the DnD club at high school but those of us who graduated but linger on here in Hawkins we didn't want to leave the club so it became a mix of high school kids and us 'grown ups' lucky for me they still wanted me to be dungeon master.” he says and I smile at his excitement

“Can I join the campaign to? Or just watch?” I ask and he smiles widely at me

“You know how to play?”

“Well... I've never played for real seeing as I don't have friends... But all the books you saw in there and then some have taught me the basic understanding of the game. See...if you didn't know what an eidetic memory is... I remember everything, everything I see everything I read. I can tell you every word in those notebooks without reading from the pages. I just... I would like to know what its like to actually play”

“Sweetheart, we'd be happy to have you! Tell you what, you come with me Thursday night to watch us play, and meet the guys. Then next week we'll use on of your campaigns and you can join us. Sound ok?” he says

“Are they...nice? Your friends?” I ask

“Yeah, intense little nerds some of them but over all very nice guys. There's me, Mike, Dustin, Lucas, Erica, Will, Joe and Gareth” he says

“Aaaah the guy who idolises Tom Cruise much to Robins dismay” I say and Eddie stares at me

“What?” he chuckles

“Yeah, I have to tell you something kinda embarrassing. I went to see Steve today after work. I was so freaked out you asked me to go out with  you and I've never had a date so I didn't know how to act. Thought I'd ask him what you liked so I didn't make a fool of myself, I overheard Robin arguing with Gareth about Tom Cruise not being God” I give him an apologetic smile

“You went to Harrington to ask what he thought I'd like on a date? Why him?” he laughs

“Well, Casey isn't much of a help seeing as she doesn't date either...she just has hook ups. Robin, well she's on Caseys team so not much help with dating guys and well that left me with Steve, thought he might be able to help seeing he's a friend of yours. He did assure me you weren't mean or overly handsy. And he raised you to the high heavens, you have a real good friend there Eddie” I smile at him

“Wow, he did that? Cool, well yeah I mean we haven't been friends that long. We'd never even spoken before the thing...but after that shit we've been close. Him, me and Robin. They're family now since my uncle moved away” he says

“The thing? This is the second time you've eluded to something that seems to have had a real impact on your lives...would you tell me?” I ask “ I mean I did let you borrow anything from my bedroom, wasn't that the deal? I'd let you do that and you'd come over and tell me?” I say with a smile

“Fuck, you remembered that did you” he smirks “Ok...but let me just say that I KNOW what it sounds like. But we were all in this and we'll tell you the same story so don't think we made this shit up. It's so beyond something one would make up to... I don't know impress people? Scare people...” he sighs and I become even more curious “it's like taken from a book but it's not...we lived through this”

I cuddle up beside him on the couch and I listen as he begins to tell me a story so unbelievable it really has to be true. Government plots, gifted children, monsters, underground labs, Russians, more monsters, disappearances, deaths, a world beyond our own, Vecna and ultimately the destruction of Hawkins and the apparent death of Eddie. By the time he stops talking my head is spinning, I try to make sense of it all. Trying to see if there is a possible spin on this that makes it... I don't know, a collective dream they all had.

“Eddie... I don't know what to say...or believe for that matter. You say you died...yet I mean you don't feel dead to me” I say and I put my hand on his chest

“I was for a moment, woke up though. But by then Henderson had left me, I mean no shade on him he thought I died for real so what was he to do? He couldn't carry me and get away so he had to leave me there.” Eddie says

“I get that part... I just don't... Bats Eddie? Bats aren't...that vicious” I say and he gives me a reluctant smile

“Normal ones, no... These... well these fuckers are nowhere near normal bats. We called them demobats, but after what they did to me I'd just like to call them demons.” he growls

“But, you said they tore the flesh of you... You're sure they were bats?” I'm so stuck on this, bats...they don't do that

Eddie gets up from the couch “Ok so I'm going to do something now I haven't done even in front of the guys...” he takes a deep breath and he pulls his shirt off and stands there in front of me bare chested and absolutely gorgeous. When my mind has calmed it self from the pure shock of how good he looks I see them, the scars. Horrendous scars cover his upper body. I sit up straight and I motion to him to come closer, he attempts to put his shirt back on

“No...please” I whisper at him. He looks at me confused but he lets his shirt hang from his hand as he moves in to stand in front of the couch. I look at the scars, they're deep. All of a sudden I realize, it's all true. None of it is made up and whatever did this, bats or not. It did take chunks of his flesh, it's a miracle he didn't bleed to death for real. I reach out and I gently caress his chest and all of the scarring.  Somehow, because they're a part of him I find them beautiful. I let my hand trace them all

“Please...Kat don't do that” he whispers

“Oh, sorry do they still hurt?” I snap out of whatever spell he has me under and I retract my hand

“No...just... Your touch, makes me feel things” he blushes and this is when I notice an apparent, well reaction. I turn beetroot red in the face and I don't know where to look

“Fuck...sorry” I manage to get out

“Don't be sorry, I mean if anything it's a compliment” he says and puts his shirt back on and sits down. I can't look at him my entire mind and body are in an uproar. My mind just wants me to shut down and hide so that I won't get hurt again but my body it aches to touch him again, and again until he's a whimpering mess in my hands...oh wow where'd that come from? I blush again “hey, may I ask where your mind wandered of to now? I said nothing and did nothing yet you're blushing” he smiles “you know you can talk to me”

“I...know. I just don't know what to say, or how to even start. There's a lot happening in my mind at the moment” I say in a hushed voice

“Well, can I ask you questions then? Maybe get the ball rolling? I don't mean to be so blunt but I want you, like obviously. And I kinda wanna know if there is a chance...some day” he mumbles smiling at me. I nod, vigorously “Ok, I assume that guy was your first?” I nod “ok honey I kinda need you to talk to me, it'll feel better after” he says

“Yes he was my fist, and my only” I croak

“Ok, so no one else after that? When was it did you say? Your senior year? That would be like 3,5/4 years ago then?”

“Yeah, almost 4. It was at the beginning of the year”

“So, you haven't met anyone else that made you feel....stuff since then? I mean I would assume you felt something if you agreed to let him, you know”

I want to hide under the couch “No one, until now” I whisper, I can't even look up “I mean I'd had a crush on him for years but that part of it wasn't that strong. I was just happy to be noticed, I wasn't ready. I did it...anyway” I hate admitting this

“Hey, my first time wasn't planned or even that good, it was a real disaster. Granted I wasn't ridiculed afterward. But trust me I wasn't ready either. I think very few people are, it just kinda happens. But I mean the stuff he put you through was fucking abysmal. Fucking lowlife piece of shit” he mutters to himself

“You said you want me...” I muffle the sound of the question in to a pillow that's how embarrassing I find this

“Yeah, I do... I mean I think you noticed” he's blushing again “do you...? Uhm want me?” his eyes seem to be burning from the inside as he gazes over at me

I take a deep breath “yeah I do, it scares me, but I do” I breath out as I say the words. Eddies face lights up and he reaches for my hand

“I promise you that when you feel ready for anything I'm here, I am SO here for you. Please come to me if...you know” he says. I nod my head so hard it feels like it might fall off. “Words sweetheart” he chuckles

“Yeah, promise” it's more of a sound than a word

“Good, now I'm going to kiss you...a lot!” he smiles at me and I nod again getting a stern look in return

“Ok, please do” I say as he leans in

“Good girl” he purrs and I don't know what to do with myself. He kisses me deeply, not touching anything but my face. I want him to touch every inch of me but I can't for the life of me form those words. They're scaring me senseless, but holy hell I want him. We kiss for what seems like hours and I'm feeling a happiness inside I've never felt before.

“Eddie” I whisper as our lips finally part

“Yeah sweetheart?”

“You're like REALLY good at this” I smile

“Geez thank you. But guess what, you're pretty much a fucking rock star at this yourself” he winks at me “but...it's close to midnight again...I need to get home. Early start tomorrow at work” he smiles at me and I look stunned

“Midnight? Wow...crying and kissing sure makes time fly” I giggle and Eddie laughs and kisses me on the head

“Sure does, with the right company. I'm going to try and keep away tomorrow night so that we can both get some sleep. But I'll be here to pick you up at 6:15 on Thursday for Hellfire. Ok?”

“Yes, that works. Should I bring anything?” I ask

“Well...snacks are always welcome” he smiles at me and winks

“Got it” I say and smile back. I follow him to the door and we kiss for a couple of more minutes until he drags himself away from me, sighs and heads down the stairs. I watch him go and then I slowly close the door feeling like this might have been a dream? I mean real life can't be this good, can it? Or good, I cried for hours...told him about my horrible past. He told me about his. But then the kissing...oh wow the kissing! I go to sleep, yet again with a smile on my face. I wake up earlier the next morning so I get up and head straight for the phone

“Hello?”

“Hey Casey, good morning”

“Morning, I don't have long. Maybe like 10 minutes, what's up buttercup?”

“So...interesting night”

“Oh? Do tell”

“Well it began with Laura calling, you know...right on the 2 week mark”

“Of course” I can practically hear Casey rolling her eyes

“Yelled at her...slammed the phone down. Started crying my eyes out”

“Oh Kat, I'm so sorry...but good for you yelling at her”

“Yeah...there's more”

“MORE? That wasn't enough for one night?”

“Knock on the door...guess who”

“Ooh the cutie patootie?”

“Yup the one and only, so I think I cried in his arms for 3 hours...then...” dramatic pause for effect of course “we kissed for another 2 hours”

All I hear on the other end is Caseys breathing “come again?”

“I think you heard me...just let it sink in” I say with a smile

“You...and he...on the lips?”

“Where else? Oh you know what don't answer that”

“No but like... YOU kissed a guy...not just once but for HOURS? I...I have to sit down”

“Well... I though you wanted to know. Didn't think it would break you” I giggle

“I... well fuck me I'm as proud as a mama. Was it good? I know you don't have anything to compare to but like...was there a tingle?”

“It was, I don't have enough words in my vocabulary to describe what that was like.”

“Sweetie, I love you and I'm saying this as your best friend. You need to go get him! And I know you know what I mean. Just don't overthink like you always do just...rip his clothes off and make him your bitch”

“Well...the though crossed my mind. If it hadn't been for my own words of wanting to go slow I might have, it looked...impressive”

“IT LOOKED...the fuck are you telling me? You saw it?” Caseys voice goes so high pitched I don't even think dogs can hear her any more

“Not...like in the flesh. But it was...prominent in his pants” I say

“Like... I'm going to have to take a Valium or something, this is killing me. And now I have to go to work... Ok so tonight there's oral? What the fuck”

“Tonight is alone time. But I'm meeting some of his other friends tomorrow night. And then there's the date on Friday and then you and I are having a party here on Saturday”

“My mind is so full right now I can't understand a thing you're saying. We'll talk tonight yeah?”

“Yeah, call me when you have the time. Love ya”

“Love ya to”

I smile as I put the phone down, I know there's going to be about an hour and then she's processed it all and she will call me. I take a shower and I get ready for the day. I make tea and some sandwiches and I wait. 1 hour and 15 minutes later the phone rings

“Hey”

“Ok, so I totally forgot to tell you how happy I am for you”

“I knew that without you calling Casey, but thank you”

“But like for real go get some. It's better than you think”

“How would you know? Have you ever been with a guy?”

“Nah, but I mean if he makes you come...that's the same!” she chuckles and hangs up and I shake my head smiling. But I guess she is right, I mean that part of sex is the same whether it's a guy or a girl making you come. The thought of Eddie making me come sends shivers down my spine all gathering at one spot between my legs. I press my thighs together and I moan. God, I do want him.

I head to the store and the day passes without any problems. I stop by and say hi to Robin and Steve as I head home. I don't tell them about me and Eddie, I wanna see where the date takes us first. We talk about Saturday and make some plans about drinks and food. I head home and I wait for Casey to call again. When she does an intense hour of dissecting every minute of my night with Eddie commences. She agrees, with herself, that we were meant to be. I laugh at her, it's strange hearing her this...romantically inclined. She's usually not one for soulmates, feelings, meant to be and all that stuff. If I'm a romance novel she's...an instruction manual for a typewriter. I can't keep from hoping this is her changing a bit herself as well. I would hate it if she hurt Robins feelings by being, well her usual cynical self. We hang up and I make a cup of tea and I turn on the TV for a while, but I can't concentrate my mind is on Eddie the whole time. The phone rings, I look at the time. It's 9, who the hell calls me at 9 in the evening?

“Hello?”

“I know I said I would leave you alone tonight but I just needed to hear your voice” I hear Eddie say

“Oh, hi...I was thinking about you”

“Yeah? Good thoughts I hope”

“Very good” I smile

“Oh...damn” he gasps

“See you tomorrow Eddie. Sweet dreams” I say and I hang up

Eddies pov

Very good thoughts about me? Wow, I hope I didn't read to much in to that. But it didn't seem like it on her voice as she told me sweet dreams? Eddie is smiling to himself, then he becomes serious. He feels like a fucking creep, standing here at a pay phone looking up at her window hoping to see her. He couldn't bring himself to go up there unannounced one more night, so he opted for this. He stands there looking at her windows actually fucking MISSING her. What was this? Sure, he's had crushes before, Chrissy was probably the biggest. But well, that died. Quite literally... But this, this is something else all together. He'd even told Wayne about Kat when he called him tonight. He was pleased, but also surprised at how fast Eddie's feelings caught on.

“Hey son, I know you don't believe in it but this sounds like soulmates if you ask me” Wayne had said to him, no Eddie usually didn't believe in that stuff. And as far as he knew neither did Wayne, but here he was putting words on Eddies exact thoughts. There was something about this girl, it felt like he'd been waiting for her for ever. He looked up again, there she was! He could see her in the window as she turned the TV off, probably getting ready for bed. God she's beautiful! He'd never thought of himself as having a type, but she showed him that his type is most obviously a chubby, brown haired nerd who reads a lot and has glasses and deliciously thick thighs and a big soft ass. Fuck he wants to be buried between those thighs... Aaaand now he feels like even more of a creep feeling his dick harden in his pants. GO HOME MUNSON! He thinks to himself as he watches her turn of the lights and head to bed. He strolls of to his van and he goes home to the trailer he lives in now. The trailer park was relocated after the incident in 86. Some of the old trailers survived, some didn't. His and Wayne's being one of the ones that didn't. But the city bought new ones and put up for those who lost their homes, bought them all new stuff to. Wayne lost his job as the factory was right in the middle of one of the cracks so it was demolished. He got a new job on the other side of the state so he left Eddie the trailer and he moved. This new trailer is fancier than the last one, not as run down. But it's still a trailer, what does he have to offer Kat? She apparently has no issues with money, that place is fucking mind blowing. He thinks about how different their lives are as he settles in for the night. He decides he doesn't fucking care, he's falling in love with this weird, wonderful woman. He falls asleep and he dreams of Kat, dreams of her lying naked in his bed, those awesome thighs spread open for him. Beckoning him to enter her wet pussy. He wakes up hard as a rock and so close to coming that the mere touch of him trying to move his dick in his boxers sends him over the edge and he has to get up and change. Fuck he hasn't had an actual wet dream sine high school, what's this girl doing to him?

Back to Kat

It's Thursday, I'm going to see Eddie today! I stretch and I yawn loudly. This is going to be a good day! I can feel it, the store closes 1 hour earlier on Thursdays due to Stella having some things to do Thursday afternoons. So the whole town is used to that, I'm not going to change it. I have things to do myself today. I'm going to make cookies for Hellfire tonight and maybe I'll make some Rocky Road bars, I mean why buy snacks if you can make them?

I'm giddy all day at the thought of seeing Eddie, what is this spell he has me under? I don't even think that if Laura showed up here today she'd be able to break my good mood. I have a great big smile to give to anyone stopping by today, some have been in earlier in the week and they say I look different somehow. Asking if I changed my hair or my glasses or something, they just “can't put their finger on it” I just wanna look a them an go... Well kissing the hottest man alive for hours will do this to you! As I close up and go to get the things I need for baking I run in to Robin at the grocery store.

“Hey Kat, what's up. Doing anything special tonight or just hyping yourself up for the big date tomorrow? He hasn't shut up about it, been calling me and Steve relentlessly asking us if we think this or that...PLEASE put us out of our misery and agree to a second date even if this one sucks” she sighs

“Hello to you too, well... I am hanging out with him tonight also so I guess technically tomorrow IS the second date? Although tonight we won't be alone”

“Tonight? But Thursdays are Hellfire night, how the hell did you swing that?”

“He's bringing me...” I say

“He's bringing you? To a Hellfire game? Wow you really are special to him. I mean not even Steve's been invited, he threw a fit when Dustin brought him once. Oh by the way...”

“You want me to tell Gareth that Tom Cruise STILL isn't God?” I chuckle

“Actually...yes” she laughs “how'd you know?”

“When I came in the other day to talk to Steve I overheard you... I mean I couldn't agree more, I think he's completely overrated”

“I KNOW right? I'm glad I won't be alone trying to make him understand any more, getting fucking exhausting” she smiles “well I gotta hurry and get what I came for before Steve gets pissed at me thinking I ran out on him. But good luck with the nerds then... Hey by the way what time Saturday?”

“Oh, come over around 7. I think Casey was going to try and get here around 4 but I wanna have her to myself a bit first” I smile

“Oh I get that! But ok we'll be there by 7, you wanna tell Eddie or should we?”

“I think it might come up, I'll tell him myself, but thanks. See you Saturday then”

“Yeah see you then, looking forward to it!” she says, gives me a hug and runs to pay for her things

I stroll around and get what I need for baking then I head home and get going on the snacks. I finish just in time to put it all in bags and change my outfit before there's a knock on the door. I open and there he is in all his glory. Looking amazing in black jeans, a shirt with a design that says “Hellfire Club” and his leather jacket. He beams at me

“Hey there pretty lady, ready to be a full blown nerd for the night?” he hands me a shirt just like the one he's wearing “the uniform, it's mandatory” he smiles at me

I giggle and I pull the shirt I have on over my head

“Are you trying to kill me?” I hear Eddie say

“What?” I'm confused then I realize I'm apparently so comfortable with him I didn't even think about the fact that I'm now only wearing jeans and my bra... “Oh...fuck...sorry” I say and I quickly pull the Hellfire shirt over my head to cover myself up

“Nah, I mean I wouldn't mind having you dressed like that all the time...just maybe not in a room full of other guys” Eddie smiles at me and I blush “what you're hot, didn't I tell you” he winks at me

“Hey, don't exaggerate” I say as I put my shoes on and get the bag with the cookies and the rocky road bars I made earlier.

“Hey, I'm not! You can't tell me what I can or can not think, you're not the boss of me” he pouts

“Ok, ok...fiiine. Thank you Eddie! You're looking like quite the snack yourself” I smile at him

“I look like a snack? You wanna have a bite later on then?” he pulls me in and gives me a kiss so good I lose my breath for a second

“Wow” I say as he lets me go

“Well thanks, don't think I've ever gotten a 'wow' from kissing before. Makes me feel a bit cocky” he smirks

“Well... I'm easily impressed” I make a face at him and he starts laughing

“You must be, but hey good for me. Means I get to kiss you again and again” he takes my hand and we head out to his van. As he turns the ignition the stereo starts playing loudly “fuck sorry, I forgot to turn it down before going in to get you” he says

“It's ok, I mean you can't really go wrong with Metallica. Master of Puppets is a masterpiece” I say and he stares at me

“You...know Metallica?” he says

“Yeah? Shouldn't I?” I say

“I mean no offence but you look to be as far away from Metallica as it's possible to get” he chuckles “but yeah, Master of Puppets holds a special place in my heart”

“I'm not gonna ask what you think I look like I listen to” I giggle “I'm sure that's more offensive than you not thinking I look like I listen to Metallica”

“Might be true” he smiles “well...are you ready? We're almost at Mike's. It's his turn to host Hellfire tonight” we turn in to this really neat looking neighbourhood.

“I don't think I'll ever be ready to meet new people but if you say they're nice I'll give it my best. And I did bring bribes” I say and I hold up the bag

“Yeah? What did you buy?” he looks at the bag

“Buy? Hell no, to bribe successfully you need to pull out all the stops. I made cookies and rocky road bars” I say

“You what? You MADE snacks? You do realize if you spoil these guys like that you're never getting out of this even if you want to?” he says as we stop outside one of the houses

“Spoil them? You sure it's not the dungeon master I need to worry about spoiling?” I say

“He looooves to be spoiled, but he wants more than snacks” he says and he leans over and gives me a kiss “so lets go then beautiful. Time to get your nerd on”

“He might get more than snacks if he's good” I mumble and he looks over at me

“What did you say” his voice is like a low growl and he pulls me in close “don't tease me like that, and for the record I'm always good” he purrs and I feel my legs wobble

“Good to know” I say in low voice not really sure what it is I'm meaning by it. All I know is that this guy has me thinking things I haven't thought in years. He takes my hand and we go up to the house and ring the doorbell. A very pretty woman answers the door

“Oh hi Eddie, how are you?”

“Hey Mrs Wheeler, I'm good. This is a new friend of mine, Kat. She just moved here from Seattle, thought she needed to meet the guys” he smiles at her

“Eddie, my dear. I've told you, it's Karen. Hello Kat, say are you the girl I've been hearing so many nice things about? The one who's minding Stellas book store while she's away?” she smiles at me and I feel that familiar lump in my throat making me unable to speak, but I feel Eddies hand squeezing mine and he gives me a smile. The lump dissolves and I look back at Karen

“Yes, I am that girl. It's nice to meet you Karen” I say

“Lovely to meet you to, but come in. They're all in the basement as usual” she moves out of the way and we head inside. It's a lovely home, me being used to only apartments this is like a castle.

“I love your home Karen” I say looking around

“Oh thank you dear, that's sweet. Where do you live?”

“I live in the blue house on Main” I tell her and she lifts an eyebrow

“Wow, those apartments aren't...cheap” she looks at me with curiosity

“Yeah I've been told, but I compare it to apartments in Seattle and it's...not that bad” I say with a small smile

“Oh, well no I can imagine that’s true. Well have fun” she says and she heads back in to the living room. Eddie takes me by the hand again, whispering to me

“Good girl, see you can talk to people” I look at him

“I think your presence helps” I squeeze his hand and smile and he beams back at me

“Awww aren't you the cutest. Ok so behind this door is nerd headquarters tonight. You sure you're ready for this?”

“Nope, but I'll follow you anywhere” I say as he opens the door and heads down the stairs

“My nerds and nerdettes your dungeon master has arrived!” he booms and I hear a bunch of voices cheering. I stop at the top of the stairs feeling a bit panic-stricken. Can I do this? All new people again? But I have Eddie, I trust Eddie... “So I hope you don't mind but I brought a guest” there is a sudden silence

“A...guest? To Hellfire? Like, an actual other person?” I hear someone say

“Yeah, what of it?” Eddie smiles

“You had a fucking tantrum when I brought Steve around...and now you bring someone yourself?”

“Henderson, let me break it down for you. Steve doesn't know DnD, Steve doesn't play DnD. Hell Steve doesn't even LIKE DnD... Why the hell would I have him sit here with us?” I'm still at the top of the stairs thinking it might be best if I just stay here until this matter is settled. Eddie must have noticed me missing because within seconds I see his smiling face at the bottom of the stairs “Sweetheart, you rooted up there? They won't bite you...I don't think” he holds out his hand to me. I slowly make my way down the stairs, my stomach has a lump the size of a football in it. Every fibre in me wants to turn around but Eddies eyes drags me to him. I'm finally at the base of the stairs, standing right in front of Eddie. “Hey I know this is scary for you, and I promise if it's too much I'll just call a break and I'll take you home ok?” he whispers in my ear.

“Ok...” I whisper back. He steps aside and I am met by 7 sets of eyes all staring at me

“It's...a girl...” I hear some one say. Then the only girl in the company besides me sighs

“Well no shit Sherlock, we all see it's a girl. Your point being loser?” she turns to the guy next to her, by the looks of them they might be brother and sister.

“I just meant... Eddie with a girl?” he says “and I'm not a loser, get over it Erica”

“What ever loser! And even so, good thing Munson got himself a girl. Was beginning to think he's looking in to a future as a monk. Can we PLAY now?”

“Hey, hey, hey Sinclairs...both of you. Ease up a bit! We're gonna play don't worry. This is Kat, she just moved here from Seattle. She makes KICK ASS campaigns, thought I'd show her how Hellfire does things before I beg her permission to butcher her work” he chuckles, She's sitting in on this one and maybe she'll join next week if the vote is unanimous” Eddie says and motions to me to take a seat at the head of the table, next to what I assume is his place as DM.

“You write campaigns? Cool, so you play?” this guy whose voice I recognize as the one Eddie called Henderson asks me. I take a deep breath

“Yeah I write, been doing it for years. I'm a bit of a book nerd so I have quite a large collection of DnD books. Never had the opportunity to play though” I say and I feel Eddies hand on my thigh squeezing reassuringly

“Oh, cool! But why write campaigns if you don't play?”

“Uhm, well I liked the way of writing and the imagination needed to write it. So I thought I'd try and then one lead to another and soon I had a few notebooks filled.” I smile hesitantly

“So...you're this freaks girlfriend or what?” Erica asks what I can see they're all dying to ask

“Erica...c'mon. Not the time, please” Eddie looks at her

“Oh, not gotten that far yet. Well you're special to him if you're here so.” she says and focuses on making her brother miserable again

I'm special to Eddie? Because he brought me here? That's the second person to tell me that today. I smile to myself

“OH!” I say “which one of you is Gareth?” I look around and I hear Eddie chuckle. A curly haired guy looks all confused but raises his hand and looks at me “Robin wanted me to tell you that Tom Cruise is still not God” I say and everyone laughs, except Gareth

“Fucking Buckley, HE IS SO. Tell her that from me” he says but he says it with a smile

The game begins and I sit quietly beside Eddie as he narrates the campaign he made. He's talented I think to myself, he has the right kind of persona to be the dramatic DM. I'm having a really good time as the focus isn't on me at all. The second the first roll of the dice landed they all forgot about me. As I watch them play I can tell that what I've been reading is not even close to what actually playing is like. This is so much more exciting. About half way through the game Eddie calls for a break.

“Need a piss and a smoke. Then maybe snack time?” he says as he stands up

“Weren't you gonna bring snacks this time?” the guy I learned was Mike says

“I did, she's right here” Eddie says and gives me a side hug I blush “all jokes aside, she made snacks for us. It's...did you bring them?” He looks at me

“Oh, damn I forgot them in the car!” I say

“I'll get them when I have a smoke, be right back” he says winking at me before he heads up the stairs with Gareth and Joe.

“Soooo...charmed him completely I see” Dustin, which I learned is Hendersons first name, says to me with a big grin on his face

“Charmed who? Eddie?” I say confused

“Yeah Eddie, who else? I mean he never brings anyone to Hellfire nights. Took a lot for us to get him to even consider Erica. But you missy have him wrapped around your finger! Not saying it's bad I mean you go! He needs it after all the shit...” he says

“Oh, well...thank you I guess? He told me about the shit...he also told me you were the one who had to leave him there, in that place? How are you holding up?” I ask and he stares at me

“Ok, so...if he told you about that...you're it for him, no doubt. Also, me? I'm ok...some days, other days I'm a wreck. He's like my big brother and I had to watch him die you know. AND I had to leave him there. Fucking broke me” he looks so sad I do something I've never even done with Casey. I wrap my arms around him and I give him a hug

“He's lucky to have you as a little brother Dustin. Don't feel bad you had to leave him, he told me he holds no grudges about that. You had to or you'd be dead too. What do you say that both you and me try to put our collected shit behind us?” I look at him

“You have shit to?” he says and I see traces of tears on his cheeks

“You have no idea” I say “but I have Eddie now, to help me get through some of it. Also Robin and Steve. And maybe you?”

“Sure thing! Anything I can do, I like you. Question is, how much do you like me?”

“Wanna borrow my books” I laugh

“Caught me” he smirks

“Well Eddie has most of them held hostage now but as soon as he's done and gets another pile you can have the ones he's done with” I say and Dustin nods

“Sounds like a deal” he smiles

Eddie and the rest return and he hands me the bag of snacks I brought. I open the containers and place them on a table next to where they're sitting.

“Well, help yourselves I suppose” I say and they all dig in. The consensus is that from now on Eddie is ALWAYS on snack duty and that means I make the snacks. Unless I want to be part of the gang then I'M always on snack duty. I smile, these guys are so nice.

The rest of the night is fun, I get so in to the game I cheer when they do and I even get up and celebrate with them when they kill some monster. Eddie smiles at me and from time to time I feel his hand on my thigh and my mind goes haywire. I just wanna ask him to go higher but I'm to scared at the same time. But it feels so good having his big, warm hands on my leg. Even if it's just short moments at a time.

By the end of the night I am completely convinced I need to play next week, this was too much fun just watching! As they wrap up the night they decide that next weeks game is at Dustins house.

“Before we leave, we need to vote. Anyone against inviting Kat to play with us next time?” Eddie says, no one raises a hand. “Ok then, welcome to Hellfire” he smiles at me and shakes my hand

“Thank you Eddie the Banished, I will do my utmost to not let you down with my simple ways” I say as solemnly as I can

“Fair lady I don't think your ways are simple at all. But we do need to come up with a name for you... Everyone come up with a suggestion for next time and we'll have a vote” he says and everyone nods. We say our goodbyes and we leave. We talk about the night as Eddie drives me home, when we stop outside my house he says

“See, nerds aren't scary. You did so good sweetheart. So you did have fun then?” he takes my hand

“I had so much fun, I really liked Dustin. Or well I liked them all but I think I took a particular liking to him” I say

“Thought you might, he's a good kid” Eddie smiles “but I wanna do something now I've been dreaming of all night” me thinking it's something like smoking I'm taken aback completely when he grabs me and pulls me closer and kisses me deeply “fuuuuck been hell having you sit there next to me and have to narrate a campaign instead of making out with you” he breathes

“Again... wow” I say and he smiles

“I would so wanna come up with you and keep this up but it's sorta late and I have to be at work real early again tomorrow. But if you don't mind, I wanna do this ALL night after our date tomorrow”

“Mind? Why would I mind, hell this could BE the date and I wouldn't mind” I'm shocked I said that but I mean it so why not

“Oh, really? Maybe I'll change my plans then” he purrs

“Well if you have plans I'm not going to ruin them. We'll have time to more of this after...” I blush but he just smiles at me “See you tomorrow then Eddie” I say and I get out of the van

“I'll be here at 7 then” he smiles at me

“Perfect” I say and I close the door to the van and I go inside. I look at the time, it's 9:45. I should really go to bed but I just need to tell Casey how proud I am of myself. I go to the phone and I dial her number

“Hello?” her voice is sleepy, like she's just woken up

“Fuck did I wake you?”

“Nah, well you did but all good, I was asleep on the couch so thanks” she says “what's up since you're calling at this hour of the night”

“So I just wanna brag”

“Oh, go on”

“I just hung out with SEVEN new people all night, and Eddie”

“Wow...really? Sweetie I'm so fucking proud, and I'm more and more convinced that moving was the best thing you could have ever done in your entire life.”

“Yeah, beginning to realise that myself. Well, go to bed now and I'll do the same. Need my beauty sleep for the date tomorrow”

“Awww you don't need beauty sleep you just need regular sleep. Well dream dirty things about that guy of yours and then do it all tomorrow!” she chuckles

“Casey! I'm a good girl...” I try and she just laughs at me

“Katherine Jane Smith, I think you have some seriously naughty bones in your body. You just haven't used them...make sure you do that now that you found a good guy. Love ya and I'll see you Saturday, I don't wanna hear a beep from you tomorrow night, ok!?” she says

“Naughty bones” I laugh “well...I'll see if I can dig them out under all the dust they've been collecting over the years. Sleep tight see you Saturday”

We hang up and I get ready for bed. I fall asleep instantly and I dream about Eddie. I dream the kind of dreams that would make a pornstar blush. I wake up feeling that the wetness between my legs has spread down my thighs and on to the bed. I feel like I'm burning, wow so this is what really horny is like? Well...fuck me... I'm laying there panting for a bit trying to get my mind at ease. It's hard, it's filled with thoughts of Eddie...naked Eddie...fucking naked Eddie... Jesus! I didn't think I had this in me, I mean I know I dreamt dreams like these back then before that ass hat broke me. But after that it's like my brain shut that part off just to spare me. Apparently it thinks I'm back in business again, and what the hell maybe I am. I toss and I turn for a while before looking at the time. It's 5:30, I might as well get up and begin my day. Sleep doesn't seem to be happening any more tonight. I hit the shower and then I go to get some breakfast. I sit in front of the morning news on TV and I enjoy a lazy morning for once. Only downside is that when it comes time to get going I'm tired again. I make some strong coffee to take with me and I leave for the shop.

Fridays have been busy so far so I might be in for a hectic day. It's kinda slow until after lunch then people start to drop in more frequently. By the time I'm closing I'm beat. My mind is spinning I just wanna crawl in to bed and sleep until Monday. But no can do, I have a date in 3 hours! Yikes! I rush home not even stopping to wave at Robin or Steve as I pass the video store. I take another quick shower and then I find myself stranded in front of my closet, what the hell do I wear tonight? I don't even know what Eddie's been planning for us tonight. I look through all my clothes and I see this dress in the back of the closet, hanging behind everything else. I bought it last year to wear to Caseys for New Years, it was a bit fancy for jut her and me but I wanted to look nice for once. But then she got sick and I was stuck at home with mum. So it's never been worn. It's a black velvet, kinda fitted dress. I thought it was a bit snug back then but I have lost a little weight since, so maybe it will look decent? I put it on and I study my reflection. Well, yeah it looks good, I think... Not to tight anywhere, the boobs look good, the ass looks good. Yeah I could at least be an 7 out of 10. I take out a pair of black heels and a fancy bag. I put on my good jewellery and then I even put on some make up. I check the mirror again when I'm done and I hardly recognize the girl looking back at me. I look at the time, it's 6... I have a whole hour to kill before Eddie gets here. I decide to continue reading the book I bought at work today. I love Stephen Kings books but I hadn't had the chance to read Misery and when I saw it today as I started reorganizing the horror section I just needed to add it to my own collection. It's just like any other King book, captivating from the start. All of a sudden I hear a knock on the door and I look up at the clock on the wall. It's 5 to 7! Well here goes nothing then.

I get up and I head to the door and I open it, Eddie's standing outside smiling. When he sees me his smiles dies and I feel like I wanna die, I look that bad?

“What's wrong?” I say in a timid voice

“Wrong? Nothing's wrong, jut...fuck you look so unbelievably good and here I am looking like this” he motions at himself. He looks amazing, black jeans and a dark forest green shirt.

“But you look amazing Eddie” I say and he smiles at me again pulling me in to his arms, he kisses me softly.

“Thank you babe, but if anyone looks amazing tonight it's you. Like, how am I going to keep my hands off you when you look this hot?” he kisses the side of my face, down my jawline and continues down my neck “this ok?” he whispers

“Uuhuu...yeah...sure is” I say as I can't seem to form a sentence to even begin to tell him how good this makes me feel.

“Well good then, I'll keep doing it” he says and his kisses follow the base of my neck around to the other side and up towards my lips again. “But we better get going, I made reservations” he says as he pulls away from me and I just wanna tell him to forget those reservations and just fuck me, but as usual my nerves get the better of me and I just nod

“Ok, lets go. Where are we going by the way?” I feel like my face is on fire and I'm sure I'm all red and flustered. Eddie chuckles a little and takes my hand

“I made reservations at Ellie's, it's a restaurant one town over. Thought it would be fancier than anything this place has to offer. It was Steves suggestion, he tells me they have awesome food”

“Oh, exciting! I hope Steve is right then” I say thinking I would have eaten at the gas station if I could just be with Eddie.

“Well, if the food's bad then I KNOW dessert will be fantastic” he says and shoots me a smile that makes my knees weak

“Yeah?” I say

“Yeah, dessert will be more kissing” he winks at me

“Oh, well then it will be a 5 star dessert you mean?” I smile back

“ I sure hope you'll think so” we're down the stairs and we head outside “uhmm...this is a bit awkward but I thought, did you have a car?” Eddie looks at his feet

“Yes I have a car, why?” I say

“Well, my van...well it's not that fun to go for any longer rides in” he mumbles

“Oh, of course we can take my car. Here, you drive” I say and I hand Eddie my keys, he looks at them. His frowns as he looks at the emblem

“You...drive a Pontiac? What kind of Pontiac” he gasps

“A 1971 Le Mans” I say and he stares at me

“No fucking way, you drive one of the sexiest cars from the 70's? Like how are you even real?”

“Well, dad died. Left me and my sister a heap of money. She spent all of hers...all I wanted was that car. I've saved the rest. So...you wanna drive?” I smile, I knew that car would be a bit of a surprise to him

“Do I wanna drive it? I work as a mechanic and I haven't even seen one in real life. It's like a wet dream, only not as exciting as the ones about you” he looks down at the keys in his hand again

“Wait, what? You have those kind of dreams about me?” I'm confused

“What...oh...fuck I said that part out loud?” he drags his hand through his hair giving me a blushing smile “yeeeah... I do... you mind?”

“Why would I mind? I think it's nice knowing I'm in your dreams” I say and I lean in and kiss him “c'mon lets get going. The car's over here in the garage” I say and take him by the hand. As I open the garage door Eddie lets out a sigh

“Look at that! What a beauty!” he walk up to the car running his hands up the hood “You're sure I can drive?” he looks at me

“Yeah of course I wouldn't have given you the keys if I didn't think you could handle my baby” I say and he chuckles

“You sound like a guy, calling your car your baby” he opens the door for me and I get in. He runs to the drivers side and gets in to. “wow, just...wow” he says as he looks around in the car, I mean I know it's a nice car. I'm just used to it now so his admiration is so endearing to me. He puts the key in the ignition and he turns it. The cars V8 roars and I think Eddie's about to cream his pants. I've never seen anyone look this happy starting a car. I giggle

“Do you realize how cute you are right now?” I ask him

“What? Oh...thanks” he smiles “but, ok... are you one of those people who stick to the speed limit no matter what or can I actually put this to the test?” he looks over at me

“Well, as long as you don't run us off the road. Go for it” I say and I get the biggest smile in return.

Well, the ride to the restaurant was a fast one, I think that Eddie might even be sporting a semi from driving my car. But then again I've taken a ride in his van... I guess anything's better than that. But he's like a kid that's gotten absolutely everything they wanted for Christmas.  He's all giddy when we get out of the car.

“THAT WAS AMAZING!” he actually lifts me off the ground and jumps around with me in his arms

“Woooah, calm down or they might think you're high. I want food” I laugh

“Sorry, sorry...just it's a great car. I know I'm like such a duuude right now” he beams at me putting me down on solid ground again. He pulls me in close and he kisses me “now back to you. I did tell you how fucking sexy you look tonight didn't I?”

“Not in those words, no” I say and I blush

“Well, I'm saying them now. This dress should be illegal, making me think all sorts of things” he murmurs in my ear

“I...thanks...wow” I can't find words, he's just to good “what things” I manage to whisper

He chuckles at me shaking his head “Nah sweetheart, I can't be telling you things like that right now. Either you'll be scared of me or you'll try to eat me alive” he looks me deep in the eyes and then he kisses me once more making my head spin “lets get inside, I'm kinda hungry myself” he takes me by the hand and we head in to Ellie's. We have an amazing evening, good food and awesome conversation. He tells me all about being the freak of Hawkins high and I tell him what it was like being the wallflower in Seattle. He tells me about his uncle, who I can tell he loves very much and I tell him about my dad and how I always wished I could have stayed with him when mum and him split up. He asks me if I would like to come with him to see Wayne sometime. I tell him I would love to. We keep talking about what life has thrown at us when he suddenly says

“I wanna come with you to Seattle some time... I wanna be there when you rub your new life in your sisters face” he's looking very serious

“Really? I mean...it could get ugly” I say

“Well, not to be rude to you or anything but I think you might need me there. Or she might just kill your happiness. And I don't want that, I want to be the one to make you happy and I will do anything to keep you happy as well. Even meet that sister of yours” he smiles at me

“Then by all means come with me. I would love to see the look on her face” I laugh

“It's settled then, when you feel ready for it I will come with you to Seattle. But right now I just wanna pay for this and get you home so I can kiss you without making people blush” he says and his eyes burn at me

“Oook...please” I say losing all train of thought again. Eddie laughs a little at me and he gets the waiters attention and asks for the check. He pays and we head out to the car again. He starts driving towards Hawkins again, we keep talking about life in general. All of a sudden without him thinking about it he puts his hand on my thigh and lets it slide up under my dress. I draw a deep breath and Eddie panics

“Fuck... God I'm sorry I just... I'm sorry I didn't mean to”

“Eddie... Hey Eddie... It's ok. I didn't mind” I say and I smile at him “the thought of you touching me is getting less scary by the minute. Please put your hand back, I liked it” I whisper, he glances over at me

“Making me a very happy man babe” he says with a soft voice and he puts his hand on my thigh again slowly letting it slide up under my dress “you tell me when to stop” he whispers. When his fingers are almost touching my panties I feel that lump forming

“I think...that's as far as I'm comfortable with right now” I blush as I say it, feeling a bit stupid

“Hey no blushing, I told you we do this at your pace. I'm just happy I get to touch you” his hand squeezes my thigh a little and I feel a jolt of energy centring between them. I can feel that I'm getting wet from only this, quite innocent touch. But to me it's the most erotic thing I've ever experienced. Eddie speeds almost more as we head home in the night. We get to my apartment and we head for the front door.

“I hope you're coming in for a while?” I say

“Try to stop me, I want dessert now” Eddie winks at me then he presses himself against my back and places a kiss on my neck “this ok?” he says and I can feel his breath on my neck making every hair on my body stand up

“Oh yeah it is! It's better than ok” I sigh as I unlock the door and we head up the stairs. We barely make in my apartment before Eddie spins me around and his lips crash in to mine.

“Fuuuuck been longing for this all night” he mumbles as he kisses me

“Wanna stand here or should we move it to the couch at least?” I say as his lips trail down my neck

“Couch...yes” he says and he keeps kissing me as he steers me backwards to the couch. He turns and he lays down “c'mon lay down on me” he smiles

“You wanna die? I'm too heavy” I say looking down at him

“Don't be like that, please” he says and pats his chest. I carefully lay down on top of him, he pulls me in the last little bit and he kisses me deeply

“See, I'm still alive. You feel just right on top of me” he purrs “but now to the burning question...may I please touch your ass? I've wanted to since the day we met” he smiles

“You've wanted to touch my ass? Why?” I giggle

“It's a great ass... I just wanna feel if it's as good as it looks” he tries an innocent look, he fails miserably considering the smirk on his lips

“Wow, smooth Eddie. But yeah, you can touch my ass” I say as I start kissing his neck, just the way he's been kissing mine. I feel him draw a deep breath and then his hands slide down my sides landing on my ass. One hand on each cheek and I can hear Eddie moan

“Fuck yeah, this feels a thousand times better than I imagined it would. Great ass...so soft” I smile as I keep kissing his neck, following that sharp sexy jawline up to his lips. I try to ignore the hard thing I feel pressing against my stomach. I can't really deal with that when my mind is fully preoccupied with his hands massaging my ass so deliciously. We lie there kissing and I feel Eddies hands moving all over my ass. The lump in the pit of my stomach starts up and I tense up. Eddie notices straight away “sorry sweetheart, I got a bit carried away. We'll slow down. Or would you like to end the night here? I've had a perfect evening so I won't be disappointed I promise. This is all up to you” I want him so bad but just the thought of telling him that makes my insides churn and I feel a bit sick. I stay quiet, words just aren't coming to me “sweetheart, I can tell this is too much right now. Here's what were gonna do. We'll get up from here and we'll have a few more kisses. Then I'll go home, VERY satisfied with the evening think nothing else. And then we'll see each other again tomorrow night” he strokes my hair and kisses my forehead. I nod and I get up from my very comfortable place on top of him. I sit down at the end of the couch and I feel like the biggest loser ever.

“I was so doing so good” I whisper with tears in my eyes

“Yes you were, but it got to be too much for you, it's ok babe. It really is, I promised you I'd do everything at your pace didn't I? But you do have a great ass” Eddie smiles and winks at me

“Thank you, I enjoyed the touch very much. It's just...my body wanted so much more but my brain isn't really there yet” I whisper still a bit sad

“Sweetheart” he pulls me closer hand gives me a long warm hug “I like you, I like you A LOT. And it's only been days. I can wait, I mean do I want to do all sorts of things to this body? Hell yeah I do, but I'm pretty sure this body's gonna be around for a while, or I hope so at least. Kissing and kneading that ass is goooood times so don't worry about me” he kisses me a couple of more times then he gets up from the couch. “I'ma head home now and we'll talk in the morning. Maybe I can come help with something before your friend arrives, like kissing the hostess. I bet Casey's not doing that?” he smiles

“No, she doesn't have the privileges you do” I say and I giggle “I had a very good night Eddie” I look at him standing there in front of me towering over the couch “a really wonderful night and I can't wait to do this again” I stand up and I give him another kiss and then I follow him to the door and we say good night and he leaves.

I get ready for bed all the while scolding myself for being such a wuss. It's not like sleeping with him will hurt me, I'm no virgin. He's been nothing but respectful to me so I doubt he's going to do what that other asshole did. I walk around arguing with myself as I brush my teeth and change out of the dress. I crawl in to bed and I fall asleep faster than I thought I would. And I dream, fucking hell do I dream. I wake up so turned on I don't know what to do with myself, my hand trail down under my tiny nightgown, in between my thighs. I slip my fingers in under my panties and I feel how wet I am. I try doing what Casey told me she did to herself when we were gossiping as teens. But his doesn't feel right, I must be doing something wrong. It's not helping the matter, only making me ache for more. I throw the covers off me and I get out of bed, no plan just pure impulsivity driving me. I put a jacket over the skimpy thing I'm wearing and I head out to the car. I pull out of the garage and I put petal to the metal as I speed of towards where Eddie pointed to me he lived. I skid as I turn in to the trailer park. I slow down so I can look for the van. There I see it outside one of the newer looking trailers. I stop outside and I get out and go up to the door knocking . It takes a few minutes then I hear the lock and Eddie opening the door, bed hair deluxe and looking so fucking hot in only pyjama pants.

“Kat? What...did something happen? You ok?” he stands back so I can come in

“I fucking dream about you, like so fucking hot dreams I wake up craving touch. I try to do it myself but hell being the fuck up I am I have no idea how to because of course I've never done that. So here I am in the middle of the night and I have no idea what I'm doing … so please Eddie.... touch me” I say and I just let my clothes fall to the floor in front of him “help me...I need you” my chest feels like it's about to explode, my breathing is heavy and I must look like a lunatic. But for some odd reason that must be something this man likes because he only closes the door and he's by my side in two quick steps pulling me in close, breathing in my scent with a deep breath

“Fuck babe, would you look at you. I've never seen anything this sexy ever. But are you sure?”

“Don't make me think about this Eddie...just...please fuck me Eddie. Help me get rid of the demons” I say and I reach up and I pull his head down to me and I kiss him with all the emotion I have in me right now. As we pull apart his eyes are black and they seem like they burn from somewhere deep inside. I gasp as this is the hottest thing I've ever seen

“Wow, just like...wow. I will chase those demons of yours all the way back to hell, just one thing though”

“Yeah” I say as I press my body against his feeling that aching wetness between my legs

“You've never touched yourself? You've never had an orgasm?” he studies my face while his hands start doing their own thing following the shape of my naked body pressed against his

“No... I haven't” I whisper still not taking my eyes off him “please be my first Eddie”

The sound he lets out sends shivers down my spine making my knees wobble it's like a mix of a groan, a moan and a deep growl “Fuck babe, I will be you first and your forever if you'll let me. Bedroom...now!” he says and he swoops me off my feet and he carries me to the back of the trailer. I didn't think this man was this strong, he doesn't look it. But damn he carried me like I weigh nothing. He drops me down on the bed “please lay back babe” he purrs

I do as I'm told, all the while watching this perfect man standing there looking at me. His gaze sets my body even further on fire, he slowly pulls his pj's down and I finally get to see what I've only felt so far. And I was so right, it IS impressive. Long, thick and veiny. I mean I've only ever seen  one before but I am convinced this is the most beautiful dick in the world.

“God, Eddie you look so fucking good” I whimper “I want you... I really fucking want you”

“I'm all yours sweetheart, all yours to use in any way you want me” he says and he gets in to the bed with me “now a word of advise. Just do, don't think so much about this. If it feels like a good idea it most likely is” he smiles “and I will take good care of you, just tell me if something doesn't feel right” he pulls me closer and he begins kissing me. I wrap my hands around his neck to pull him even closer, I press myself against him wanting to feel him all over me. His hands touching every inch of my body, his moaning in my ear. It's all heaven to me. He maneuvers me so I'm on my back with him on top of me, he continues kissing me and his hands have found my boobs. He's massaging them, pinching my rock hard nipples softly between his fingers. He pulls away from kissing me, looks down at me “ready for me sweetheart?” he purrs

“Yeah, ready” I pant and he smiles as he starts kissing down my chest. Licking and sucking my nipples making me squirm with pleasure, the ache between my legs so strong I don't know if I can handle it to much longer. His hands trailing lower, down my body, squeezing the soft belly. Then down to my hips, his kisses following along. He sits up on his knees looking down at me

“Fucking hell you're prefect babe. I've been dreaming of getting smothered between those thighs for days now. So fucking sexy” he growls and I feel my entire body blush and my breathing halter for a moment. He looks...wild, almost like some kind of animal. He's so sexy it's almost painful to look straight at him, like the sun. I writhe beneath him as I just want him to touch me. He lays down and lets his hands follow the flesh of my legs up towards the insides of my thighs trailing kisses behind.

“Would you look at this pussy, so fucking beautiful” he murmurs as he spreads my legs and looks at me with adoring eyes, I feel like I should shy away but I'm to memorized by the way he looks at me to even care any more. He can from now on do whatever he wants to me, I am completely under his spell and I wouldn't wanna change a thing. His fingers grace the edges of my pussy, just at the base of my thighs. “May I? Oh please tell me I can touch you” he whispers and looks up at me

“I'd kill you if you refused at this point” I say and he chuckles

“Good” only one word then I feel his fingers where I've so longed to have them. He drags one finger in between my folds drawing in a sharp breath as it glides in “fuck you're wet, all mine” he growls

“All yours” I pant as this is excruciating, I want more...of everything

Eddie slides his thick finger in my slick getting it nice and wet before he finally reaches my clit. I jilt from the sudden impact and he tenses at first

“Good or bad?” I can tell he's still worried he's going to fast with me

“All good, too good almost. You told me just do, don't think. Please take your own advise” I moan and I hear him laugh a sexy little laugh

“Yeah, I did say that” he starts circling my clit with his finger and I'm grabbing his sheets I with my hands. My head I buzzing with this new sensation, my pussy is clenching around nothing wanting something. I'm rocking my hips to meet whatever movement Eddie does. He stops playing with my clit and I want to fucking hit him! But he's just switching it up a notch for me, his thick and long middle finger is pressed in to me hitting all the right spots inside making me groan out loud. “Fucking feel so good around my finger babe, I'ma taste you know. I need to taste you” he's mumbling before he latches on to my clit with his mouth, sucking and licking me in to the high heavens. I scream as my first ever orgasm hits me like a ton of bricks thrown out of nowhere.

“fuuuuck that's my good girl, tasting so good and feeling so amazing on my finger” Eddie purrs at me as I come down from my high. He's pulled his finger out now and is sitting up on his knees caressing the insides of my thighs with his hands “felt good babe?” he smiles

“Good? That was heaven, you're a god Eddie Munson! But please...fuck me for real now. Can't let a perfect dick like that go unused” I say with a moan looking at his cock twitching between his legs

“Well, I'm a good boy I do as I'm told” he smiles and reaches for a condom in his bedside table. I'm watching him roll it down his hard length and I feel my insides do a flip of excitement. God! Will this thing even fit inside me? Eddie positions himself between my open legs and he's gritting his teeth as he slides the head of his cock in my wet folds.

“You're not going to hurt me” I whisper

“No I know...just I've been wanting this so long now I think I might blow my load upon entry if I don't at least try to pace myself” he grins “I wanna see you play with yourself as I fuck you babe” he growls

“I...tell me how” I whisper

He moans and he slowly presses his cock in to me all the way to the hilt. He stops for a moment letting us both get used to the feeling. I let out a long moan, this is so fucking good. He feels so perfect

“Fuck babe, this pussy was made for me, God you feel amazing. C'mon take your fingers and put them on your clit...right so yeah...now move them, circular motions. Just like I did...yeeeah look at that you're a natural. You'll feel kinda soon what feels good, just keep doing that as I fuck this amazing pussy of yours” he's talking he through my first time playing with myself. At first I feel a little silly, but then I find a pace that seems to work as that knot inside of me starts growing again. He fills me up so deliciously, fucking me with long thrusts watching my fingers play with my clit. “God babe, you have no idea how sexy you look” he growl and I feel a tingle pass through my body I arch my back a little

“Faster Eddie, please” I moan and he grabs my hips holding them up as he picks up the speed of his thrusts. This time I can feel the orgasm coming and I begin panting and writhing beneath Eddie as it crashes down on me. “Eddiieeeee fuuuuuuck” I scream his name and I feel myself clench around his dick over and over

“God damn babe, I'm stuck in a vice here. Amazing woman” he growls as he trusts a couple of more times before I feel him tense up and let out a guttural moan “fuuuuuck here it comes....oooooh God Kaaaat” he slumps down on top of me doing a few more slow thrusts as he breathes heavily looking up at me with a beaming smile. He leans in and kisses me deeply “I have NEVER been so happy to be woken up in the middle of the night before” he says. I feel him pull out and then he gets out of the bed to go and discard the condom and wash his hands, apparently someone got them all sticky. I giggle at him as he says this to me with a wink. He comes back and he crawls in to bed behind me and pulls me in close, nuzzling up in to my neck. “Feel ok sweetheart?” he whispers

“Amazing Eddie, thank you” I say as I caress the arms that are wrapped around me

“Glad to hear, because THAT is something I wanna do again and again, forever and ever” he mumbles in to my hair. I can hear he's tired and so am I. I'm almost asleep already

“Me too, Ed. Me too” I yawn and I wiggle my butt closer to Eddie so I can feel his warmth and his body close to mine

“Sleep now beautiful and we can do this again in the morning” he places a kiss on my neck and he wraps his arms tighter around me and we fall asleep. The sun is shining in when we're woken up by a booming voice from the kitchen

“Fucking hell Munson, did you swipe a car from work. That's a real beauty out there. Did the date go late last night since you're still sleeping. Get up fucker” the door to the bedroom swings open with a bang and there's Steve with a mug in his hand “want some...coffee...oh”

“Morning Steve” I murmur as I pull the covers closer to me, nudging Eddie “get up and talk to him please... I have no real clothes. See you tonight though Steve” I say smiling at the shocked face in the doorway

“What...huh... Oh...fuck I forgot to lock the front door didn't I? Hey Steve, be right with you, wanna go back in to the kitchen man...I'm sorta naked under here” Eddie chuckles

“Uhhhh...sure” the door closes and we start laughing

“Oh well...no need to think about how we're gonna tell them then I guess” I say as Eddie gets out of bed and puts his pj's on again

“Nope, he'll be calling Robin the second he gets home”

He walks out in to the kitchen and I hear Steve

“It's Kats car? She's been here with you all night... Put it there man!” I hear the sound of hands clashing in a high five and I smile to myself “this is great man, I'm so happy for you... YOU BOTH” Steve raises his voice so I'll know he's talking to me too

“THANKS STEVE” I call back to him. They keep talking but they've probably moved to the couch because I can only hear the muffled sound of voices. I drift off to sleep again, feeling happier than I've been ever. Also, the anxiety that's always with me...it's subsided, not as loud in my head. Maybe Eddie did take some of the demons and sent them to hell last night. Maybe I should let him loose on the biggest one of them all...she never did manage to get a hint so she should be calling in like a week and a half. Half asleep I feel Eddie crawl back in to the bed, sliding in under the covers and pressing his now naked body against mine. Suddenly I'm fully awake

“Hey there princess, you looked so peaceful. But I wanna make you scream my name one more time before you have to go” Eddie's breath is on my neck and his hands are cupping my boobs, softly pinching my nipples making them stand alert. I press my ass closer to him

“What were you thinking?” I murmur wiggling my ass against him feeling him getting rock hard in seconds

“THAT! I was thinking that...fuck this ass is out of this world. Lift your leg please” he purrs in my ear and I feel my pussy start throbbing as I do what he asks me. His hand slides in between my thighs as I lift my leg “shit babe, so wet and hot already” his skilled fingers find my clit and I draw a long sharp breath as he starts circling the little knob with his fingers. “Want something to fill you up sweetheart?” he kisses my neck

“Yeah...please fill me...please” my voice isn't more than a whisper I am fully focused on how amazing his fingers are working me. Playing my clit like the strings of a guitar.

“That's my polite girl right there” Eddie says, voice sounding like a low growl sending shivers down my spine. I moan out loud at his words making him chuckle a little before I feel his hand leaving my pussy and grabbing his cock, stroking it a couple of times before he begins sliding it up and down my drenched slit.

“Please...Ed....fuck I need... I need you in me” I'm a whimpering mess trying so meet his movements with my hips, hoping to make him slip in by accident. I can't take this, I'm already cock drunk and we haven't even started yet. We've fucked once, and I'm addicted to this guy.

“Since you said please with that sweet voice of yours who am I to deny you” he says coarsely as he slowly pushes his hard cock all the way in me, bottoming out with a groan. “Fuuuuuck babe this is unreal...oh my god this pussy” he stays still for a moment, gripping my boobs  and kissing my neck before he slowly begins to move. He's so big and he fills me up so perfectly. “Keep your leg up and do what I told you last night, play with yourself babe. I wanna fell you come undone all over me” he growls in my ear. I let my hand move down and I begin working my clit the way I did last night and holy fucking hell it feels totally different in this angle. I'm squirming feeling the orgasm closing in rapidly. I scream as it takes me and I hear Eddie softly whispering praise in my ear making the effect even better. “Fucking hell babe you came so good for me, almost squeezed my dick off. Can I try something else though” he whispers as I calm down some

“I'd fucking let you do anything to me after that” I say panting and he giggles

“Be a good girl for me and get up on your knees” he murmurs in to my neck and I feel all the hairs on my body stand up...that's the way HE did it back then... I'm feeling that ball of anxiety form in the pit of my stomach, but I look back at Eddie before I say anything and the look of complete admiration and desire in his eyes kills the lump. I WANT him to do that to me, fuck me that way. And I know that if it's too much he'll stop if I ask him. I tentatively get on my knees, pouting my ass up at Eddie who growls at me “Jeeeesus H Christ you're sexy babe” he leans down and he kisses my ass, letting his tongue slide in between my wet folds making me shiver and moan. Then he positions himself behind me, one hand on my ass grabbing all the supple flesh it can hold and the other guiding his cock to my opening. At first I feel like getting away, it's to familiar....to scary. But then he slides in an all is forgotten! Shit this man is perfect for me, it feels so good I make a sound more suited for The Exorcist than the bedroom. This way Eddies cock hits spots I had no idea were even there. “Fuuuuck babe this isn't going to last long. You're so fucking tight and amazing around my cock” he pants as he's grabbed my ass with both hands now pressing me down slightly as he fucks me with long, hard thrusts. I can feel I'm close again myself, letting my hand find it's way in between my legs to work my clit. He wasn't kidding when he said it wouldn't last! The second I feel my insides clench around him when yet another orgasm hits me I feel him slump down on top of me growling my name and digging his fingers in to the flesh of my ass. “fuck, fuck, fuck babe you're perfect” he whispers and leaves kisses all over my back before pulling out and getting up to go get rid of the condom. When he comes back I'm sprawled out on my stomach, all fucked out and happy. He smiles at me “You're the best thing that's happened to me, like EVER. And seeing that I made you smile like that...fuck I feel proud right now” he says laying down beside me in the bad kissing me deeply

“You're the best thing to happen to ME Eddie Munson. If it weren't for Casey I'd wanna stay here doing this ALL weekend long” I say and I kiss him back

“Any time babe, this home and this bed will always be open for you. Any day of the week from now until my dying day” he pulls me in and hugs me so tight I almost lose my breath “you have no idea what this meant to me” he whispers and I see he has tears in his eyes

“To you? What do you mean?” I look at him, how could this have meant something to him to give this reaction

“I didn't tell you...when we talked about my past. But I don't...I can't sleep very well, memories turn in to nightmares. But tonight, I slept Kat. I slept like I haven't slept since before the Upside down. Thank you” he's kissing me again and I grab his face looking in to his eyes

“Eddie, thank you for telling me. Also... you helped me more than you think to. Hell must be overflowing with newly arrived demons” I say and I smile at him

“Well, I hope you'll keep letting me help you” he smiles and gives me a very sexy wink and a kiss

“Oh you bet, until you're sick of me” I say

“Impossible” he whispers and I feel my heart swell and I wanna cry

We lay like this for a while, just talking and kissing. Soft touches and hugs. I don't ever want it to end but I glance over at the clock on Eddies wall and I jump to my feet. It's 2 pm, I need to get home and get ready for Casey.

“Being here with you sure made time fly, sorry but I have to go now. But I'll see you tonight?”

“Try to stop me...and now that we're 'out' I can kiss you and touch you as much as I want! Yay me!” he claps his hands like a excited kid

“Weirdo” I say and I giggle

“That's why you like me” he beams “and I prefer Freak, you're the weirdo” he gets up and he kisses me on the nose

“Oh is that so?” I smile

“Sure is, you let the town Freak in to your pants...you're a total weirdo” he chuckles “ask anyone”

We hold hands as Eddie follows me to my car and we say good bye for now. I head home, where I have 4 messages on my answering machine. All from Casey the last one informing me that if I haven't called her by 2:30 she's calling the police. I look at the time it's 2:20 so I call her

“Hello?”

“I'm alive”

“WHERE THE FUCKING HELL HAVE YOU BEEN!?”

“Exactly that...”

“What?”

“Fucking...is where I've been”

Silence

“I'm getting cab now, going straight to the bus station...this is so not a phone thing” she slams the phone down in my ear and I laugh

I start preparing food for the evening. I need to go shopping but I guess I'll wait for Casey. The phone rings

“Hello, this is Kat”

“So did Steve find you naked in Eddies bed or has he been smoking some seriously strong shit?” it's Robin

“I have no idea if he's been smoking, but he did find me there yes”

“Soooo....wow, good date I assume”

“Nah it sucked but his dick made up for it” I say and I hear Robin snorting

“HA! Good one, you do realise I will be using that against him right?”

“Yeah I figured, but yeah it was a lovely date. It...well... I can give you the details some other day. I'm a bit pressed for time right now, Casey's on the way and I need to sort out food for tonight.”

“Sure thing! So any preferences when it comes to drinks? Beer, wine, bourbon, vodka? What's your poison?” she asks

“Get some beers and maybe a couple of bottles of wine for the food. I know Casey likes Tequila, I'm more of a vodka girl” I say

“Sorted! See you at 7 then”

“Yes! See you”

We hang up and I decide I am in desperate need of a shower after the night I've had. I should have about 30 minutes before Casey gets here. I shower and I pick out a pair of jeans and a shirt to wear while going to the grocery store and picking up Casey at the bus. I get out to the car and I head for the bus station. I park so I can see all the buses arrive. I wait for about 10 minutes when I see a bus that says Indianapolis on it. I get out of the car and cross the street. I hear her before I see her, I feel sorry for anyone else on that bus. I just smile and shake my head. The doors open and she lunges herself at me

“YOU LOOK SO FUCKING GOOD KAT!”

“Wow, do you think I've gone deaf Casey? But thank you, you look good yourself” we hug and then we hear a soft cough beside us. It's the bus driver bringing Caseys bag for her. Apparently she was in such a rush to get off the bus she forgot it on the seat next to her.

“Thank you sir. Sorry I just haven't seen my friend in a while” she beams at him

“No problem miss, you're lucky someone saw your bag or it might have gone back to Indianapolis with me” he says smiling back at us

We cross the street and put Caseys bag in the car.

“So wanna get a coffee before we head for the store?” I ask her nodding towards a cafe right next to where I parked my car

“That's a stupid question. There is some serious gossip we need to tend to, and that calls for coffee so...yes” she says and grabs my hand dragging me in to the cafe

We find a table in the back where we're not easily spotted. We order and we sit down

“Ok, so... Were you kidding me before on the phone?” Casey stares at me

“No, actually I wasn't” I say and I blush

“Well then, remind me to buy this man a gift” she nods approvingly “but like, a few days ago you were freaking out when he kissed you. May I ask what changed?”

“Remember when we were like... 16 or something. You tried to tell me how to get myself off, you'd read bout it somewhere and you swore by it” I laugh

“Oh fuck, yeah that” she laughs “what about that disaster?”

“Well... after the date I had this really hot dream about Eddie. Woke up all riled up, couldn't get it to work” I giggle “I don't know what got in to me I just got in my car and I drove over to Eddie's and asked him to help me”

“Wow...hot! I would LOVE for a girl to do that to me” she sighs “so I hope he appreciated that”

“Oh he did...A LOT!” I say with a smirk

“Oh you slut. So he's...good?” she winks at me

“Good? He's perfect...like rock my world kinda perfect” I sigh

“Well then, he just needs the Casey Rowling stamp of approval and you guys are ready to walk down the aisle” she says

“Woah, down girl. One date... easy does it. Be nice to him please, you can come scare him after say...5 dates”

“Awww...no fun. I love scaring men” she pouts

“Yeah that's what I'm afraid of” I laugh “you can scare Steve though...a little at least or Robin might be angry”

“Right....fuck I'M the one who has a date tonight. Maybe I shouldn't be such a tease... By tomorrow I might be just as bad off as you are” she says with a fake groan

“Exactly, maybe we're racing for the aisle before we know it. But I mean we both know you'll be the biggest bridezilla out of the two of us” I say poking her

“Nuhuu will not! I'm cool, calm and collected. Nothing but a lady”

I raise my eyebrows at her giving her a knowing smirk

“Whatever...” she chuckles

We finish our coffees then we head for the grocery store getting all I have planned for the evening. We discuss this as we go home and I assign Casey with things to do while I cook. It's so nice to have her here, the guys are great so far. But this is my person, my home. Everything feels so much better with her around, I just hope she'll like my new friends. Time flies away and suddenly we have like 15 minutes to change, we panic a little and run in to the bedroom. We grew up together so stripping down in to my underwear in front of Casey is no big deal

“Wow...he's an ass man?” I hear her chuckle

“What?” I ask

“Your ass...it looks like a paint by numbers” she smiles and I tun to the mirror to check. I start laughing as I see 10 spots on my ass perfectly tracing Eddies fingers on my ass. All in a different shade of purple

“Well...” I blush and giggle

“God I love this man without even having met him yet” she says and she gives me a hug “if he's making you this happy he is my new hero! Superman can fly the fuck away and be gone for all I care” she smiles

���He wants to come with me to Seattle...to help me cope with my demons” I say

“Oh please let me come! I wanna see him shut her up for good” Casey has nothing but hate for Laura

“We can talk about that later” I say with a smile “now get pretty you have a girl coming over” I say and I clap my hands

“Fuck yeah I do, you think she'll like me?” I've never heard Casey worried if someone will like her or not

“I'm sure she will, but be nice to her even when her mouth moves faster than her brain...she has a tendency to talk first and think later” I say

“Best kind of people, that's when you can get the good stuff uncensored” Casey winks at me

“Can I please ask you one more thing... IF you don't hit it off with her, please don't use her and leave. I like this girl I don't want her to shy away from me because...well”

“Hey I wouldn't do that to you, c'mon Kat. I know I'm a slut but I can behave for you. If I like her we'll see where it leads. If not I'll be a good girl and just be friendly. I promise” she looks a bit hurt I hug her tightly

“Thank you, I'm just so happy I have more friends for the first time that I'm a bit scared they'll disappear” she hugs me back

“I get that, but c'mon you gotta look pretty for your man now to!” she smiles at me

“I have no good clothes, I wore that black velvet dress I bought for new years when you got sick last night so that's old news. Can you check if there's some hidden potential I've missed” I say sighing

“Why can't you wear the black dress again? We just need to style it differently and it'll be like he's never seen it before” she says and I take out the dress and I put it on “woooowsah what a babe! I understand why he's all hot for you” she whistles at me. “Lets see, if you yank it up so it's shorter and then....hmmm....here a belt to keep it from sliding down again. Then some colorful jewellery and some makeup and BAM BABE 2.0!” she says smiling widely

I look in the mirror, and she's right. This doesn't look like the same dress, or the same girl even. She looks different, this one looks happy. The doorbell rings and we look at each other

“Game time!” Casey says and she follows me to the door. I open and I see Eddie beaming at me

“Hey, am I late?” he comes in and he kisses me

“Well... I don't have to guess which one you are” Casey chuckles

“Oh, fuck sorry. Hi I'm Eddie, you must be the famous Casey!” he takes her hand and shakes it beaming at her, I can see even she reacts to that smile

“Famous?” she turns to me “what have you been filling his head with?”

“Only the good stuff, I promise” I say and I make a face at her

“Yeah that's what I was afraid of, well Eddie. Almost all of it are vicious lies” she smirks

“Oh, ok... Suuuure...” he nods and winks at her

“And you're not late, Robin and Steve haven't arrived yet. But some on in, you guys can get comfortable in the living room while I check the food. Eddie, you'll get the door when they arrive won't you?” I say

“Sure babe” he smiles

“Oh God, stop that's too sweet” Casey shakes her head and heads to the living room

“She seems cool, I think Robin will like her” Eddie whispers and gives me kiss that makes me have to hold on to the door for a second. Then he smiles at me, squeezes my ass and follows Casey to the living room. I'm stuck at the door for a moment trying to collect my thoughts. Then I giggle to myself and I head in to the kitchen. About 10 minutes later I hear the doorbell again and Eddie pops out to open it. I hear the familiar voices out there and I peek out of the kitchen

“Hey guys, just finishing up the food. So I out Eddie to work the door. Make sure to tip him” I wink

“Yeah, here's a tip. Make sure to have clothes on if you're not going to lock your door” Steve grins at Eddie

“Thanks man, good one. Gonna try to remember that...or remember to lock the door” Eddie grins back and the guys go in to the living room. I hear Steve and Casey introduce themselves and they start talking like they've always known each other. Robin comes in to the kitchen

“Hey, should I put the drinks in the fridge?” she says

“Hey, yes please do. You look lovely Robin” I say

“Oh, thank you sweetie. You do to...” she smiles at me “I'm so fucking nervous” she continues in a whisper “what if she doesn't like me?”

“Of course she'll like you! I mean you'll at least make a new friend if there isn't any sparks. I have some cold beers in the fridge already, take those and join the others. I'll be there in a little while” I say and I smile reassuringly at her. She does as I tell her and I hear her take a deep breath before she enters the living room. I can't hear anything, weird I think. What happened in there, they were talking and having fun just a moment ago. Eddie shows up in the door

“Well that was...interesting” he chuckles

“Oh?” I say

“I don't think I've ever seen Robin that shade of red and your friend...well I think she turned mute the second she saw Robin. I'd say it's instant attraction if nothing else...something I'm VERY familiar with” he purrs pressing himself against my backside

“Behave Eddie” I giggle but I can't help wiggling my ass against him making him gasp

“Fuck...didn't think about this” he chuckles and he pulls away from me fixing his jeans, which all of a sudden seem awfully tight. I'ma go back and keep Steve company. Love that ass though” he says and slaps me softly before leaving

I smile to myself as I finish the food and I set it up on the table. I've made a bunch of little dishes, all recipes I haven't tried before but that seemed delicious. Nothing too fancy but fun for an evening like this. I bring out wine glasses and the wine bottles. Then I head in to the living room.

“Ok guys, welcome. Well the food's ready so come sit down” I look at Casey and I almost laugh out loud. She's completely smitten, she's just staring at Robin as she's in the middle of a discussion with Eddie about something. Steve rolls his eyes at me but he's smiling to.

“Well if no one else is listening to our lovely hostess at least I am” he says and he gets up and goes to sit down with me at the table “I think it's a hit, I've never seen Rob this flustered about a girl before” he whispers

“Good! And I've never seen Casey this smitten” I say and we high five

“Hey guys” I call in to the living room

“MUNSON! You really keeping your girl waiting?” Steve yells and we hear rustling as they all come hurrying in

“Sorry babe, sorry. As it turns out... Tom Cruise isn't God” Eddie kisses me on the cheek and smiles

“Really? THAT'S what they were discussing?” I laugh and I look at Steve

“What'd ya think the eye rolling was about” he chuckles

The evening is a complete success! The food was amazing, even I thought so. We eat and we drink, we talk and laugh in to the wee hours. Steve passes out on the couch. Me and Eddie are sitting on the floor, him holding me and kissing me on the neck. This is when we realize we haven't seen Casey and Robin for a while

“Where the hell did they go?” Eddie laughs

“I have no idea, I know they said they were going out on the balcony a while ago. Are they still out there?” I say getting up from the floor and heading for the door. I look out there and no one's out there. I check the kitchen, the bathroom and my bedroom. Then I hear Eddie with a giggle

“Both sets of shoes and jackets are gone, I'd say Robin took her home”

“Wow, well...good for them” I giggle “what about him” I point over at Steve

“Well knowing Harrington he's gone, no point trying to wake him up from a tequila sleep. Been there, tried that, doesn't work. We might as well go to bed” he smiles at me and I think I'm about to pass out he's so handsome. I take him by the hand and I lead him to the bedroom, making sure to lock the door behind us. Eddie chuckles at that

“Good idea” his hands are already all over me unzipping my dress. I wiggle out of it letting it hit the floor where I'm standing. “Fuck babe you're so gorgeous” Eddie's hands find my ass and his lips find the crease of my neck. He suddenly freezes

“What?” I ask turning towards him

“I didn't bring a condom, didn't think we'd have a chance to do this” he says

“Well...if you'd teach me I'd like to...try using my mouth on you. Maybe we can do that tonight?” I blush, not really used to talking like this yet. Eddie's eyes widen and turn pitch black

“You want me to...teach you how to blow me?” the words almost get stuck in his throat

I nod “yes...if you want me to” I say

“Want you to? Sweetheart, any part of this amazing body you wanna use on me I'm all for. But I wanna return the favour if I may” he smiles at me

“Well, ok then. You may” I wink at him wrapping my arms around his neck and pressing myself flush against him making him moan. I take the rest of the things I'm wearing off, then I lay down on the bed watching Eddie, he's stunned. Just staring at me “hey wanna join me?” I say and I hold out a hand to him. I don't think I've ever seen anyone get naked that fast before. 2 seconds flat and he's in bed next to me running his hands all over my naked body. He's on top of me resting on his arms looking down at me

“You're sure this is what you wanna do? I mean...it's not too fast for you?” he asks

“If I don't feel comfortable I'll tell you. But I wanna try, read enough portrayals of it in my spicy books. Always wondered what it feels like having a dick in my mouth” I smile

“You're a dream aren't you? Like... I'm dreaming having met you, you're unreal...” he's looking down at me with admiration in his eyes and it almost makes me tear up. “Guess I'll get better situated for you to...try me out then” he smiles and he lays down on his back next to me “whenever you're ready sweetheart” he purrs.

I study his naked form and I feel how the wetness between my legs spill over and start running down my thighs as I sit up on my knees. I straddle his legs, making sure I have one of his chins perfectly fitted to give some pressure in just the right places. I grind on him a little so he can feel how wet he's made me and this makes his eyes burn with wild fire. “Fucking hell Kat, you're soaking my leg. It that all for me?” he growls

“All for you Eddie” I whisper as seductively as I know how to as I lean forward and start trailing kisses over his chest and abs. I let my tongue run circles over the sexy line of hair going down to his rock hard erection. He's leaking pre cum, making it pool a little at the side of his bellybutton where the tip of his cock is twitching. Looking like it's doing little jumps to catch my attention. I take his cock in my hand stroking it slowly while making eye contact with Eddie. He's looking wild under my touch, soft moans escaping his supple lips. “So how do I do this? Any pointers?” I say with a wink

“Well... I'd say no teeth is the biggest pointer. And don't try to go deeper than you're comfortable with until you're ok with it. Just...fuck just go for it” he moans as my hand lets go of him. I smile and I let my tongue play on his stomach right next to the head of his cock, not touching just yet. He's squirming and his cock is twitching smearing his pre cum all over his stomach. I move my head and I let my tongue run from the base of his cock all the way up to the tip. Then I swirl it around the head tasting him before wrapping my lips around it. It's a a strange feeling having something so soft and delicious in my mouth and I am not supposed to chew on it. Eddie's moans are getting louder and this gets me even more turned on. I seem to be doing ok at least. I take him in a bit further in my mouth “fuck babe, doing so good for me, so good” he pants as his fingers nestle in to my hair. “could use some more spit though....make it glide easier” he murmurs and I oblige. I collect more saliva in my mouth before taking him in again, feeling the difference it makes. I go deeper and his grip on my hair tightens “fuck, gonna cum soon. Your mouth is amazing babe, fucking amazing” his hips are meeting my head bobbing up and down on his cock. Going even deeper, I've almost got him in completely to the hilt. Eddie looks down and he groans loudly “fuuuuuck if you don't wanna swallow or spit babe you'd better get of him now” he moans, his chest heaving with his breathing. I wanna try, I wanna taste him fully. So I keep going pushing that little bit that's still left before he'll be all in my throat. He stiffens and he lets out a guttural scream as he convulses under me and his cock pulsates in the back of my throat. He shoots his warm seed down me and I swallow as best I can, some going up his shaft and out the sides of my mouth. I let him slide out of my mouth and I lick the remains up, he tastes good. Salty but not at all unpleasant. I lick my lips and smile up at him

“I did good?”

He just laughs at me, at first my heart sinks. I think I did so bad he finds me ridiculous. But then he grabs me and pulls me up

“Good? Jesus H Christ babe, BEST head I've ever gotten! Why didn't you tell me you have no gag reflex?”

“uhm...gag reflex?” I say confused

“Yeah... Look by no means have I gotten a lot of head in my days but no one's been able to take more than maybe half of my length before gagging on it. You didn't...so...no gag reflex”

“Oh, well no I guess I don't. Just never thought of that as something good” I giggle

“Babe, it's...like a birthday present and Christmas gift all rolled in to one if you ask me” he kisses me, ignoring fully that I still have the taste of him still in my mouth. “I don't even know how I'm going to be able to repay that but I sure as hell am going to give it my best” he says and he spins us around making him on top. He leaves kisses all down my body until he gets to my pussy. He eats me out like I'm the last meal he'll ever get. He doesn't stop until he's had me screaming his name three times. I don't even fucking know what planet I'm on by the time he crawls back up and pulls me in, spooning me and kissing my neck “Such a good girl, I love hearing you scream my name like that” he purrs in to my neck and I shiver out of pure bliss. If you would have told me this a few days ago I would have called you a crazy person, but now I'm having multiple orgasms screaming this guys name as he's knuckles deep in me. Fuck I screamed...

“Eddie...” I whisper.... “what about Steve” I blush

“Sweetheart, when Harrington's drunk and fallen asleep...nothing and I do mean nothing wakes him up” he chuckles

“You sure? I kinda need to use the bathroom” I say

“I'm sure, hurry back though. I wanna cuddle” he smiles as I get our of the bed putting a long t-shirt on. I open the door quietly peeking out in to the living room. Just as Eddie said, Steve's snoring away on the couch. Not a care in the world, a bit of drool on the side of his mouth. I smile and I tip toe to the bathroom, do what I came to do and head back to the bed room. Eddie's moved under the covers, he lifts them when he sees me coming. I pull the t-shirt off and I join him. It's warm an cosy under there. I wiggle up against him again and he puts his arm over me. Within minutes he's snoring softly behind me

“Eddie... I think I'm falling in love with you” I whisper quietly before closing my eyes and drifting off to sleep.

Eddie's pov

I have no idea what I've done right in my life to deserve meeting this girl. But she's amazing, so innocent but god damn she's got a wild side to her. I can't wait to help her discover it. She sneaks off to the bathroom and I get up as quietly as I can and I peek out of the bed room

“Good job man, sounded like a home run for the both of you” I hear a whisper from the couch

“Shut up, if she finds out you heard us she's gonna die...” I whisper back

“Nah only heard the finish...she ain't discrete when screaming your name. Other than that I just put the pillows to my ears, tried to give you some privacy”

“Thanks dude... But you gotta look like you're sleeping again. She'll be back any minute” I whisper and I get a thumbs up from Steve and a great big smile. I knew he doesn't sleep to well when he's drunk. He wakes for nothing, but I thought that might scare her from ever wanting to do stuff if people are around again. I mean I want this girl any time, any place she'll let me have her. I get back in tot he bed and under the covers just in time before hearing the bathroom door close and her tip toeing back. She crawls in with me and wiggles that great ass against me with a happy sigh. I have a feeling she might be the kind of person to say things when they think no one's listening. I pretend to fall asleep. “Eddie... I think I'm falling in love with you” I hear in the darkness and my heart nearly stops. She's falling in love? With ME? I try to maintain my breathing to seem like I'm sleeping, but in reality all I wanna do is cry. No one's ever loved me, hell no one's ever fucking liked me. Maybe Chrissy did but I never got the chance to figure that out. How do I pretend I didn't just hear the best fucking sentence I've heard in my entire life? I mean... I know now. I could be the first to say it out loud to her...but is it too soon? She's sleeping now, I pull her closer and I whisper as quietly as I can “too late I loved you first” then I actually fall asleep for real.

Morning

I wake up to the smell of coffee coming from outside the door. I stretch and I feel Eddie stirring behind me. So it's not him? I sneak out of bed and I get dressed, I head out in to the living room. The TV's on at a low volume and a newly awake Steve is sipping coffee watching the morning news.

“Hey, sleep well?” I ask feeling myself blush a little

“Morning, yeah like a dead man. Hey where's Robin and Casey?” he looks at me, maybe he didn't hear us after all

“Uhm... we have no idea. They said they were going out on to the balcony to get some air and then they just disappeared...so I would guess Robin's place?” I say

“Wow, cool...well grats to them then. When did I pass out? By the way there's coffee if you want some” he says

“Aw great thanks! I think it was around midnight when you passed out.” I smile at him

“Fuck, great guest I am. Feel like a truck hit me, I drank a lot didn't I?” he chuckles

“Well...we got 1 tequila shot each...the rest was all you. Crying about being all alone and singing soppy love songs... But you know, you're charming so it's ok” I laugh and he looks mortified

“I though that was a dream” he groans and hides his face in his hands “your friend must think I'm a lunatic” he says

“I don't think she even realized you nor Eddie were even here after seeing Robin. But I think she liked you just fine, or you would have known. She's kinda vocal when she dislikes people” I say

“Morning there Sinatra” Eddie's in the door smiling at Steve

“Shut up Munson”

“Aw c'mon you were crooning so lovely for us. The crying was perhaps a bit excessive but other than that you were a gem Harrington!” Eddie laughs and he comes up to me kissing me on the head “is there more of that?” he nods at the coffee in my hands

“Yeah there is, thank Steve he's the housewife this morning” I say

“Thank you Mrs Steve” Eddie makes a face at Steve who just rolls his eyes at him.

“How about we try to see if the other two are alive and then we order pizza?” I suggest

“Absolutely, I can call Robin and you two can go get pizza” Steve says

Eddie gets his coffee then him and me go to get pizzas, drinks and snacks. When we return Robin and Casey has appeared again.

“Hello there” I say meaningly to Casey

“Hey...” she blushes, I don't think I've ever seen Casey blush before.

“So...did you guys fall of the balcony last night or what?” I smirk and Eddie chuckles

“Well...you know...we thought it was crowded enough here...” Casey doesn't know where to look

“You do realize I'm not mad right, I'm happy for you. Next time though, tell me if you leave” I hug her

“Ok...sorry” she smiles

“But you're good?” I whisper in her ear

“Fucking marvellous, she's perfect Kat” she whispers back and I'm so happy I could scream for her instead I hug her so tight her eyes nearly pop out

“So what happened here after we left?” Robin smiles

“That one passed out, and we had mind blowing sex” I say pointing at Steve, Eddie chokes on his pizza and turn full on beetroot

“Oh, well... with the exception of a passed out Steve...same” Robin says and now it's Casey's turn to turn in to a well cooked lobster.

“Well...ehmmm...thanks for sharing. Can we...like talk about just about anything else?” Steve clears his throat and we all laugh at him

“How about the concert you gave us?” Casey smiles at him “you don't sound half bad there dude. 4 out of 5 starts from the Indianapolis jury” she says

“Ok...maybe not ANYTHING else apparently...but thanks” Steve blushes

The rest of the day is spent eating snacks, talking, playing cards, making fun of Steve, watching a movie, making fun of Steve again and more eating. Casey has to leave by 8, it's the last bus going to Indianapolis. We all tag along to drop her off. She promises that she'll be back real soon, I think that promise was mostly directed towards Robin. We wave her off and then we drive Robin and Steve home. When we're alone again Eddie looks at me

“So how does if feel?”

“How does what feel?” I ask

“Life?” he smiles at me

“Amazing Eddie, I have friends. Like actual friends, not just singular any more. And I have you” I can't help a tear falling from my eyes

“Awww sweetheart, don't cry” he says stroking my face

“Happy tears Ed, nothing more ok” I say and I kiss him

The days pass, like the kind of life I've always dreamt of. I work, then at night I'm either at Eddie's or he's at mine. It's perfect, but I have this dread in me. I know the call will come, and I hate the thought of what she's going to say that will spoil this for me. Eddie senses something is really wrong when he picks me up from work on Wednesday afternoon.

“Hey, what's up babe? You've become more and more withdrawn. Is it me?”

“No, oh no sorry Ed... It's just...Laura will call. Probably today, and this is how I always feel, she's going to find a way to put me down I know it” I sigh

“I wouldn't worry” he says and I look at him confused

“What...are you thinking?” I say

“Let me answer the phone, ok?” he smiles

“Wow...ehm...ok. I guess...” I don't know what he's up to and I'm not sure I wanna be here when the reaction comes back in full swing. We head home and I make us dinner. I feel a little more relaxed, but also even more on edge but for a whole other reason. At 8 I think we're out of the woods, she's not calling tonight. But then, like she can read my mind the phone rings. I look at Eddie who just smiles at me and goes up to the phone and picks it up

“Hello, this is Eddie” he nods to me “yeah this is her phone” he smiles “who's asking?” I can almost SEE the horns growing out “I'm the boyfriend, who are you?” Boyfriend? He's my boyfriend? I look at him, he sees my amazed look and he blows me a kiss “well...I've heard a lot about you. Yeah don't get cocky none of it's good” his smile is devilish by now “well... I'd say 4 weeks now. Well who the fuck cares if she hasn't mentioned me. Considering what I've heard about you I'm not surprised” he's nodding, rolling his eyes. I can hear my sisters sharp voice on the other end “WOAH there bitchy, wanna calm that mouth of yours when talking about my girlfriend? Yeah well...she's not available at the moment” I hear yelling “do I sound like the kind of guy who gives a rats ass? I'M A BULLY? Lets get one thing straight here Laura, yeah I know your name. I have no good thoughts about you what so ever, and neither has your sister. So either grow some manners or don't bother calling. I can guarantee you'll be facing me every time” a big grin and he hangs up the phone. My brain is foggy and my mouth is dry

“I’m your girlfriend” like that's the thing to focus on...he just hung up in my sisters ear. There will be hell!

“Oh babe, sorry... I hope so” he looks down all guilty like he should have checked with me before calling me that. I jump at him wrapping both arms and legs around him kissing him fiercely.

“Guess what?” I say, cheeks rosy with excitement. Eddie shakes his head in amusement “I have a boyfriend” I grin and he laughs at me kissing me passionately

“Good for you, hope he's got better manners than that freak on the phone just now” he smiles

“Oh he's perfection” I coo

The phone rings again, I sigh. Eddie rolls his eyes. “Again?” he says

“Bet you it's mum this time” I say. Eddie puts me down and takes the phone again

“This is Eddie... Hello Mrs Smith... Yes I did speak to Laura a moment ago... Well ma'am I'm not sure if you're aware but your youngest daughter is quite a bitch to her sister... Well I don't care, she starts throwing names around I'm gonna get mad... Well 4 weeks ma'am... Yes I do ma'am” I'm watching him talk to my mum, a whole other attitude than the one with Laura “Well, maybe you can talk to Laura then ma'am. I'm not going anywhere and I will be quite protective of Kat, just sayin... Ok then ma'am you have a good evening also” he hangs up

“So... 4 weeks?” I ask

“Well I though that sounded like a better amount of time than us only knowing each other for a week and a half” he smiles

“And what is it you do?” I'm curious

“What?” he tries to look like he has no idea what I'm talking about

“You said 'Yes I do ma'am' so what is it you do? I need to know if it's something I need to remember if I talk to her” I say

“She asked if I love you...” he says looking at me

“She...” there's silence, my brain is trying to process what Eddie said.

“I...well... I said I do” he whispers

“You...do?” I croak

“Yeah, kinda fell head over heels first night. When we were here for dinner... I'm sorry if it's too soon” he mumbles, fiddling with the rings on his fingers

I...love you to Eddie. But be careful, I've had this boyfriend for 4 weeks now and he's crazy protective” I say taking Eddies hands in mine. He lets out a chuckle

“Sounds like an ass” he smiles

“Nah, he's pretty great actually”

This is going to be good, I see a bright future ahead. Brightest of all, Christmas in Seattle with Eddie. Oh I can't wait to unleash him on Laura. Life is pretty good when you find your people!

So this will get a part 2 at some point as soon as I’ve collected my ideas and put them in order :) Thanks for reading <3

[your-mums-nuts]

62 "I'm just so tired " with Regan!

It's always fucking more,more, more with him.

Maybe he's hoping she'll relent and let him move back in, maybe he's hoping she'll forgive him, maybe he's just an asshole of a dad that likes to see his daughter suffer.

It's probably the third one.

He knows she does the extra work for her friends so what does he do? Double their work AND her work AND throws in a few useless assignments for shits and giggles.

And then there's her secret lab, the one with robotus, the one that contains her life work. Oh yeah he found that too. And what did he do, congratulate her? Leave it alone?

Fuck no, he tore it down, suspended her and gave her extra paperwork as punishment.

Reagan just needs another coffee, another energy drink, another missed call from her friends and another sleepless night. She'll feel better tomorrow, she can sleep when she's dead, just one more paper will do.

Another missed call, it's from Brett.

It's the seventeenth he's left in this single hour, maybe he's in trouble, she should probably pick up the phone. But she can't, she has to finish off his status report of the moon incident, really she's helping him out.

Reagan makes a deal with herself, five more minutes, then she stops. Five minutes becomes ten which becomes half an hour which becomes an hour which becomes multiple hours.

A knock on the door, could just be in her head, Reagan isn't sure what's real and what's fake at this point.

Another knock, should probably get to the door, can I even move? Should I even? It's probably not anything important.

A knock, a slam and in the corner of her eye Reagan can see her front door hit the ground.

"Reagan!" It's Brett, we like Brett, Brett's nice.

"why weren't you answering your phone I was so worried!" Brett doesn't sound nice, he's got his angry face. "Whaaat" Reagan pretended not to be tired as shit, though she's sure her eyebags are providing proof as she looks Brett in the eye for the first time in a week.

"don't bullshit me Reagan what are you even-" he makes his way across the apartment in a few quick strides and instantly leans in to inspect her work. "Why are you writing up Gigi's request for a mental health day?" He flickers through the other recent files " and Andres detox report and Mycs self observation and Glenn's scape zoning?".

She's so dead, the room is spinning, or maybe Brett's spinning, is she spinning??

Brett's not spinning, she knows because he turns away from her, almost in disgust, or it could be disappointment, probably both. "Do you think we're incapable of doing our own work Reagan, because I know I'm not as smart as you but I know how to do my own status report thank you very much, need I remind you I went to an Ivy league school and- Reagan are you okay?".

Too much spinning, Reagan throws up.

It's quick but big and nasty and that's what she gets for not consuming any food for 48 hours. Brett rushes in to hold her, speaking words of comfort and questions with the aim to soothe her, but she can only stare at the ruined work on her desk, hours and days spent hunched over her desk, for nothing. It's all been for nothing, hadn't her father said she was only an insurance to him, so really, her life amounted to nothing and she was nothing.

A stray tear, then multiple tears, then a steady flowing river and a choked sob.

"Reagan! Reagan its okay, the team will help you sort this out tomorrow, okay? Tell me what's wrong Reagan I'll try and fix it". His kind words and strong loyalty broke her down completely and she was an ugly, sobbing mess in his arms, abandoning the chair and sinking to her knees, Brett fell slowly down with her.

She stopped sobbing after a bit and the crying seemed to help her mental state out a bit because she looked Brett in the eye and said "I'm just so tired" and then after a beat "he's made my life a living hell".

Brett understood, he was smart like that, and he took Reagan by the hand and led her to her bedroom, tucking her in and putting away the half-empty cups of coffee left littered around her apartment. He'd seen glimpses before but never thought she could get this bad. Brett updated the team on the situation, no one but Gigi saw it because it was after all 3am, but she expressed her worry and offered to come over first thing tomorrow to help out.

With that sorted Brett pulled out the couch, made a little bed for himself, and fell asleep. His mind a vast emptiness besides the extreme worry and concern he had for his friend Reagan.