#it’s crawled back into my brain again
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the rare pair is too rare
#going back to my corner and thinking of more clawcode#it’s crawled back into my brain again#picking up my pencil the second I get home I make no promises
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Big Blue joins The Mandalorian Meets Hades Project!
#I was sitting on that dialogue for a week orz don't judge me here. their love language is insults#in my defence I forgot how to draw in the past weeks and needed to fuss with this a little to reset my brain#paz vizsla#dinpaz#pazdin#the mandalorian#the mandalorian fanart#hades au#din djarin#my art#I'm actively thinking about what trinkets to assign to Paz but if I don't post it now I never will#I figured Paz would be great in the Asterius role in-game even if he has more of a theseus like shit talking kind of vibe lol XD#Like make it a Din and Grogu vs Paz and Ragnar kind of battle#where Grogu can eventually three-shot the other kid but if Din so much as brushes past Ragnar he automatically instant loses#and will have to crawl back to beg for forgiveness#I didn't have it in me to draw out a pocket Paz next to pocket Din in the bg#and I don't trust myself any to make it to the arena in hades rn either XD I haven't booted up the game in months#so I had to rely on background screenshots from when I started this project lol#just enjoy how absolutely bit and massive Paz is okay? I can fret with my perfectionism in peace over here XD#never drawing that minigun again NEVER#next one should be Bo-Katan and co as the furies because I really want to draw up Axe and Koska as well#you know whenever I'll have some free time like in July XD#I'll save my very specific Hungarian issues with the Vizsla name because I'm too tired to type out all that rant here lol#BUT WHY IS IT WRITTEN WITH A “ZS” WHEN ABSOLUTELY NOBODY CAN PRONOUNCE IT RIGHT????#just write it with a Z or an S and let me have my peace please this is driving me up the wall every single time I think about it#why name the House/Clan after a hungarian dog breed when then nobody bothers to pronounce that ZS right??#it's not like anyone would know that you're dropping a letter there whatthehell why#you're robbing me of precious hours of sleep here every second week#*cough* okay maybe you are not spared from my rant oops
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Something really great about the persona 2 cast is that they all individually fucking SUCK to talk to casually. Every single one of them. They are all infuriating. We have:
Tatsuya, who will stare at you blankly if you try to initiate conversation (IS) and will dip without saying a word afterward (EP)
Batsuya, who will scoff and brush you off/otherwise act dismissive
Eikichi, who might honestly be the best to talk to in the IS crew and that is not saying much, who WILL talk extremely loudly over you (probably not on purpose?) and will not be paying particularly close attention to the conversation beyond whatever he wants to say (gets points for talking about his gf. gets points taken away for constantly talking about his gf)
Lisa, who will automatically assume bad faith and will be rude to you the entire conversation unless you manage to defuse her temper (good luck)
Jun, who is uncommunicative at BEST and requires an encyclopedic knowledge of flowers, metaphor and body language just to get a HINT on what he’s thinking, and who will be extremely polite but completely unhelpful. If you tried asking him what he wants for dinner I guarantee it will be the longest 30 minutes of your life as he goes “oh I have no opinion :) whatever you want. :))” EXCEPT HE DOES HAVE OPINIONS. He has SO MANY OPINIONS. He is Expecting you to be able to pick up on his “obvious” clues. He will be passive aggressive if you don’t. (Jun babygirl you suck so bad I love u)
Maya, who is a delight but will very quickly become grating if you try to talk to her about anything serious as she hits you with the white suburban mom's "how to live a happy, healthy life" lifecoach slogans. You can’t even mention, like, stepping in a puddle or something without her hitting you with the positivity beam.
Yukino is great actually. 10/10. She’s fabulous we love her. Incredible conversationalist, chill and fun and easy to get along with. But she’s from Persona One, she doesn’t Count.
Ulala, who WILL bring up her relationship problems in every conversation within 10 minutes at least once. Any longer and she will start talking about Maya.
Do I even need to explain Baofu. Have you seen him.
And finally, Katsuya, who is a cop and a kiss ass and Very Obvious about these things. Also he can't talk to women. He can barely talk to men. Help Him.
And yet they all work wonderfully as a group. They are so annoying I love them
#long post#Nanjo and Elly don't count btw#hi I fucking adore them#I missed them <3 Suou Brothers crawling back into my brain#Persona 3-5 have a very charming casts that are easy to like immediately. Persona 1 & 2 are filled with the most annoying bitches alive#exaggeration obviously. not by that much tho#persona 2s cast in particular is very charming. when they're TOGETHER. Individually? Wellllll...#hmm something about p2s cast in particular feels less. gimmicky? I guess? than the newer persona games#which isn't to say that those casts are worse or that the p2 cast ISN'T gimmicky because they are#but idk. you kind of always know how Ryuji or Ken or Yukiko will react to a situation. but the p2 cast may surprise you#again: doesn't make any of the later casts bad! I absolutely adore them. That you can predict them is evidence of strong character writing!#The p2 cast just feels a little more fleshed out is all. probably because the lack of social links means they're able to progress#throughout the story and change without worrying about conflicting with a link yanno?#I love social links though I think they're a great edition!#They need their kinks ironed out a bit but Yosuke has already proved that they are absolutely capable of working hand in hand with the#development of characters in the story as well#and theyre still fun even when they don't impact the story. I like getting to know side#characters too! (Naoki and Ei and Ai and Daisuke and Kou and the old lady and Akinari and-)#tag ramble#persona 2#tatsuya suou#eikichi mishina#lisa silverman#jun kurosu#maya amano#yukino mayuzumi#ulala serizawa#baofu#katsuya suou#Also um. hi. Its been a while lol
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If I were to describe Childermass as "Gilbert Norrell's baleful stormcloud of a steward," what would that bring to mind? I know what I mean by it, but I'm not sure that particular phrasing is hitting what I mean...
#jsamn#eyre/strange fusion#my writing#the jsamn reread has my brain itching to crawl back into this story again#john childermass
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Claire… why do you know so much about the beatles
oh baby that’s not even scratching the surface of the thing i can tell you about those four fucking weirdos
#asks*#i watched get back as a bonding exercise with my dad#and i saw four pathetic idiots doing absolutely everything wrong in an attempt to get make things right again#and then they crawled into my brain and refuse to pay rent or move out to this day
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... the fuck you mean you've had too many teeth broski.
OH well when I was like eight I had an extra tooth that was trying to grow upwards, like, into my nose, so they had to go in and surgically remove that one. smh. it fucked up all my other teeth somehow so then i got braces immediately after. i have really good mouth genetics actually.
#unfort i was EIGHT YEARS OLD#and therefore not capable of taking care of braces#so then they removed them#and then when i was like twelve i had another oral surgery#to remove that flap of skin like? under your lip#just below your nose and above your front teeth?#the place where you get a smiley piercing#yeah i dont have that they cut it out#and then immediately after THAT surgery i got braces again#and then when i was fourteen i had to get a root canal#coz ig my teeth have pits in the backs of them?#which makes it easy for bacteria to crawl up in them? or smth#anyway i had an abscess and a massive infection#was in horrible pain had a fever etc etc and we went to the dr and he said go to the dentist so we went to the dentist#and the DENTIST said i was just being DRAMATIC abt my braces and to ignore it#and then i happened to see my orthodontist like a week later and he was like#yah uh the color on that tooth is weird i wanna xray it#OH YEAH ACTUALLY THERES A HORRIBLE INFECTION. were referring you to an oral surgeron#and then i went to the oral surgeon for the consult and she said mmmm actually im like?#super dupes worried that the infection is gonna move into ur brain and kill u like. literally any minute now so uhhhhh can we do the surger#like#RIGHT NOW??? ill cancel all my other appts#so we did#but then the infection was so bad that it came back so a week later we did a second surgery#but this time they went in thru an incision in my gums to like. scrub out all the infection i guess#and it had eaten away a part of my jaw so i got a BONE GRAFT#and like sixteen stitches#but now its okay :)#i have a gum scar#anyway now my wisdom teeth are doing things lol
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peace and love on earth <3
#okay the leech is gone and i took some time to sit outside#it's a very pool water summer day and that makes me feel nostalgic and okay#very 'summer of 8th grade when my biggest concerns were drawing new characters and looking at cool stuff on DA'#i'm going to try to record more and maybe then play more games to relax before i have to head to a meeting with my boss#i will say this much:#in spite of the on and off stress and occasional acidic brain pain#i think the fact that i finally started watching movies and playing games again is a sign that this semester off was good for me#because before this i'd limited myself to m a y b e one or two rounds of pmd dungeon crawling and that was it#back to working on either job things / school things / or personal deadline things#it feels good to attend to my whims and go through natural cycles of creating and recharging#instead of pressuring myself constantly to just make make make#to make up for the fact that my ADHD makes it difficult to stay with anything for long (and thus i had little to show for my work)#anyway w#time to record w
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ohmygodddddd i am a fucking genius...👁️ the fic idea i just came up with. the Specific Line i thought up. its such a random idea but its so so cute and sweet and ugh its gonna plague me forever. kinda proud of myself to be honest so lets just hope i can Actually write it soon🧎
#mmm brain isnt always bad sometimes i guess.#its some unapologetic jake fluff btw#bc he deserves it#also i forgot i cant really spend time on tumblr today bc ill be busy again lol so tomorrow it is (hopefully)#but its gonna be a good day bc me and my bestie are going to see love lies bleeding And immaculate together😋😋#and probably get some lunch and maybe ice cream too#excited#have been looking forward to today#and then after today im looking forward to finally crawling back into my little tumblr cave#hopefully i can Actually Read.#and yk. writing would be nice too.#also im goin back on sertraline today and apparently it can be used for ocd too so i will try to see if any of That feels different as well#raaaaaa#still havent fully researched ocd tho🧎ive been procrastinating🧎as i do🧎#anyways goodnight its 5am.#shouldnt have had that 8pm iced capp#i downed that shit fr#ok bye bye love yall#talkin shit#FUCK YES THIS POSTED LIKE ON THE VERY SECOND 5:15 WAS ENDING YESSS#sorry i actually like am distressed when the minute(s) of my posts arent posted on a 0 or 5 or like the same as the previous number#and when it is i feel like actual relief and joy#and when it isnt i contemplate deleting and waiting until the desired minute to post again.#anddd sometimes i actually do.#i also will just wait several minutes to post something when its not the exact minute i want yet#or ill queue it for like. literally a couple minutes in the future.#yeah i have many issues#okay gn thank you for reading if you read🧍🫶#i always either suck my own dick or beat my own ass.#rarely ever is there an in between
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mm i Neeed to go the beach
#just me hi#wauhuhh !#something about just drifting around in water that i am slightly scared of that really makes my brain whir happily lol :>#i am slightly scared of it for two major reasons: 1) fish. lord the fish why are they so scary 2) sometimes i think i'll drown and they jus#won't find the body. which is less rational than the fish so that's why fish is my number 1 fear at all times lmao#/i think out of all the animals on the planet i am the most scared of ordinary fish. not even the deep sea stuff hfbshv#cuz look they're so far down there you Have to assume they look funked. and also they prolly don't like human meat. so it's cool#but regular fish?? some of them eat birds. they eat birds dude. what would they do to me if they knew how to use harpoons??#also they for SURE eat corpses so we loop back to fear no. 2 really just being fear no. 1 hbfhs#/see i'm not even that scared of the animals my parents are determined on exploding. like man if i get eaten that was prolly bound#to happen anyway. i Know how that goes. i know what mauling is lol#i am the only person in this house who will walk around outside on a moonless light w/ no flashlight because if i was sposed to be dead i#can guaranteE there are much better opportunities. funnier ones‚ too#/just looked it up bobcats are SHY little guys. they are just shy babies. except for when they have rabies :)#shy rabies babies <3#/anyway back to the fish. i don't like how there are some that specifically like to eat human skin. mmm no i have never liked that ever not#one little bit. makes my skin crawl hghfsh#i don't care what it does or can do that is NOT cool lil dude ;w;#/hang on i'm googling 'weirdest things fish eat' because i want to scare myself i guess hbfhvbsf :'3#they're only showing me weird fish!!! no !! tell me about a fish that's living exclusively off of plastics!! or car tires !! come on !!!#these guys are just funky looking. and just Kinda funky looking. though this humphead guy is funny lol :)#he looks scary but with a charm that i can't deny#his forehead. and mouf. this guy is awesome#and of course he's endangered because the world is exploding. but it's so cool he exists :D#//anyway fish are scary. and miss humphead is Huge so goofiness aside he's also scary hhfbvs#also why do some of those motherfunkers swim close to shore and bite at you. those guys suck so bad#that's only happened to me so many times but enough for me to have a fear that has lasted for over half a decade lmao#//and anywho i'm running out of tag space lol :)#we're going ot the park!! i'm going to skate :DD !!#i wanna get good at my old stuff again hfsh - so bye! bye !! toodles !!!
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Rock Paper Siren, please!
[Couldn't get three sentences an hour ago and then this spills out in 30 minutes. Weird.]
“Dad?" Angel starts. "I’m running low on paint. Blues mostly. Plus I'd really like more of that iridescent one you got me awhile back. The one with the purples in it.”
It pulls him out of his thoughts about Lilith long enough to redirect the conversation.
‘Yeah I know the purple one you’re talking about. You know you can add anything you need to the list Angel.” He pauses for a second. "You go through an awful lot of paint, but now that I think about it, you haven’t shown me anything you’ve done with it in a long time.”
You’re never here, she wants to say. You’re never here and even when you are, you keep a wall between us. What’s she supposed to do? Bring a new painting to him in the middle of a debrief and hold it in front of him like she’s five?
“They're not finished.” The second it’s out of her mouth she curses her chosen deflection.
“Too many irons in the fire, huh? Busy little bee. Like father, like daughter." He smiles at her and actually reaches over to tousle what's left of her hair, around the implants.
#rock paper siren#wip wednesday#I can only really write on this sometimes when a goblin crawls into my brain#and tells me exactly what fucked up obtuse thing Jack need to say to angel#and then I get sad#and I need to stop again#till the goblin comes back#borderlands#angel#handsome jack
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thinking about this .. thinking about this a lot and then still thinking about it
#again i’m just crawling in the dirt with a magnifying glass looking for any kind of inspiration lol#my brain is so empty after this last week#hmmm imagine u and billy getting in a fight#maybe he ruins a project you had to do for one of your classes#ur so so so mad at him#you have to stay up all night redoing it#so the next night he’s all 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺#tail between his legs lolol#he’s still nasty ofc#actually i take it all back maybe it’s ooc#raaaahhhhhgg i’m losing my touch
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whyyyyy do people think disordered eating is healthyyyyyyy i am going to explode myself soon i cannot live around these people any more my god
#i dont even want to say what all was said lol it's so fucked up#maybe I'll just go back to starving myself and becoming more underweight just to earn mothers approval (sarcasm)#actually u know what. even if i did that she'd probably get angry at me for it lmao she'd be pissed that I'd be losing weight when she isnt#I CANNOT TAKE MUCH MORE OF THIS IM HAVING SUCH A HARD TIME#THESE PEOPLE ARE SO FUCKING AWFUL#I WANT OUT OF HERE I REALLY DO#I dont know how to cope w this honestly#i keep trying to twist things to be tolerable but jesus fucking christ the ED is starting to rear its head again#theyre just so fucking mean and stupid and fatphobic and i have to spend so much time around them#its impossible to block out#i keep finding myself thinking i dont need to eat veggies bc ''theyre basically poison'' and im just ARRGHHH#GET OUT OF MY HEAD PLEASEEEE I DONT WANT TO BE THINKING LIKE THIS#idk how to cope w this bc i HAVE the science disproving them and I've spent time undoing fatphobia in my own brain#and my family just keeps setting back my progress bc it is impossible to block them out entirely#i want to crawl out of my skin and jump into a deep lake and never resurface#im so tired of this all and idk what to do. tearing my hair out a little bit#pippen needs 2nd breakfast#fatphobia tw#dieting tw#ed tw#ask to tag
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#given a chance is a story based on my real childhood friendship#so i wanna rewrite it and make it into a proper novel#but i warped the real story to make the fic make more sense for h and l#while obvs the real story is so fucking complex and i also gave a bunch of gaps in my memory bc i was a literal child#And it goes super deep bc i made some painful mistakes#as a kid and teen#but i seriously deeply cared about this person and i'm so sad with how the real story went#so i am rewriting it still to have a happy ending#but fucking hell i need to dig DEEP to get this story right#and i really want to get it right#so i'm basically having to go and erase made-up scenes i invented for the fic#and remember the actual events#but i still kept it gay so i added that aspect bc i do think my own behavior back then was a result of me not understanding myself#not understanding my gender#and how i liked this boy but i didn't like it when he treated me like a girl even though he did like me and and and anddddd#so yeah#WHEW#big deep intense story#i need to time when i write tbh bc it's like i descend into the recesses of my brain when i do#and i need to crawl back out every time in order to be a normal person again#aaaaahhhhhhhhwel#let's hope i can make this into what i know it could be#my posts
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there was a lightning storm the other night (at like 12am) and i went batshit insane and there’s another one now and i’m slightly scared i will go mad again
#it’s only 20 to 8 (pm) but still#and when i say batshit i mean it#like i had a mental breakdown and then i couldn’t get the “you were the lightning in that rain” line from mgs4 out of my head#and this was the craziest lightning i have ever seen so i was stood there in the rain calling the lightning raiden telling it to do#something for me#and then i went inside; got bored and then came back up the stairs (crawling) saying “i’m coming back raiden”#i have no fucking idea what happened to me but something obviously went wrong#i kept saying the beyonce sound “i want something big i want something that says i’m there: beyonce!” over and over again and laughing#this was insane lightning though like properly in the sky in front of me and shit#and i don’t know if it was because i had literally just had a breakdown (at 12am on a balcony) or i was just tired as fuck but i went insan#this is what mgs brain rot does to you#i was saying “you were the lightning in that rain” over and over to myself grinning like the fucking joker or some shit#zad talks#mgs#mgs4#raiden mgs
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Jokes on you mfs I already started working on my other Zachary theory and the Seth theory >:)
#Its all fun and games for me till I run out of ideas 💀#But thats why I'm putting everything i got into these-#But then have to remind myself to hold back because I know spoilers 🥲#i said it before i'll say it again#Once day 2 comes out in gonna be crawling at the ceiling and walls from how much my theory brain will be working#That bitch will just be going#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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kny x earth to echo au. my most self indulgent piece yet
#kny au#earth to echo au#loserboy giyuu posting#i made a little thing for it way back but never posted i think? i mightve posted the video i made it into#it was just the shot of giyuu walking towards a lone rock on a cliff that had 'sabito' carved into it & a framed pic of the two of them#leaned against the side of it. i think i edited out the smouldering object(makomo) for the post so it was a general modern au#still had my likes on shuffle and Alien(uss) played and it scratched my brain just right to get me thinkin abt it again#premise of the au is when they were kids they were fucking around near the cliff like they usually did but it was slick from the recent rai#and sabito slid off the edge into the rocky current below and giyuu screamed. they never found his body and closed off the area above#the cliff w a chainlink fence that has warnings posted all along it- every year on sabito's birthday he hops it & chills by his empty grave#tsutako dies in a car crash and giyus all alone. hes contemplating offing himself- following after sabito that year when he visits his grav#but he finds it *smouldering* and finds a beaten up chunk of metal- and people approaching w flashlights. he bolts for the woods and takes#it home w him where he discovers its Alive but severely injured- and also that it has tech *far* beyond what they have#easter egg & pirate map shenanigans ensue- sanemi & genya only surviving shinazugawas get roped into it- they have a blast!#blasts and shots fired at them from the very angry government officals chasing them down to find the threat from space.#im an. ALIEN! CRAWLING UNDER HUMAN~SKIN#LET GO! OF EVERYTHING YOU THINK~YOU KNOW.#HANG TIGHT#PERMISSION TO ABORT: DENIED.#PURE HEART#YOURE EVERYTHING YOU THINK~YOU AREN'T#ALIEN! CRAWLING UNDER HUMAN~SKIN. ALIEN! CRAWLING UNDER HUMAN~SKIN. ALIEN! CRAWLING UNDER HUMAN~SKIN.#ough this song so good#its made me think of a few scenes like giyuu dumpster diving & sanemi thinking hes homeless being their first interaction#sanemi snatching him from sight when he sees uniformed people & taking giyuu to hide and figure shit out as his place w genya#the three of them skidding around corners w ppl hot on their trail#them casually eating at a fast food place & starting to warm up to eachother (makomo talking thru the phone & learning more abt humans)#giyuu wildly driving away from shots w sanemi shooting back out the window- genya holding on for dear life & makomo dismantling their cars#some scene of sanemi being injured real bad- giyuu kissing him & telling him hes not allowed to leave them like that#o u g h
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