#i kept saying the beyonce sound “i want something big i want something that says i’m there: beyonce!” over and over again and laughing

[zaddyazula]

there was a lightning storm the other night (at like 12am) and i went batshit insane and there’s another one now and i’m slightly scared i will go mad again

[abronzeagegod]

Untitled YA Novel Chapter 13: Queue Up Some Good Danger Music

First Chapter || More

11:57 AM local time

Oceanic Institute, Miami, Biscayne, United States

Getting into the grounds of the Institute was easy, there were no guards and the parking lot was almost empty. It didn't help that they knew they were going into the heart of the Silence.

The door was still unlocked from where Alt's team went in. With Hira taking the lead, they went in, trying to remain quiet.

"I know we are supposed to be stealthy and stuff," Mike said outloud. "But this is creepy and I want to know the second we hit the Silence so I'm going to play some danger music."

Justin nodded after giving a little shrug. It made sense. The Silence made it so no sound traveled. They couldn't hear them coming. And if Alt was around, they could hear the group. "It makes sense."

Hira shrugged and moved forward.

Mike scrolled for a moment on his phone before hitting play. 'Good 4 U' started playing from the small speaker in his phone.

"This is your danger music?" Justin asked.

Mike got indignant. "What? This is a great song!"

"That's not the point. Oh, never mind."

Hira at the front of the group would fly a few feet in front of the boys, check the corners and then move forward.

The entrance they took led them into part of the building with offices. There were lots of cubicles in the middle of the wide room, and closed door offices and conference rooms along the walls.

It's really weird seeing this building this empty," Justin muttered.

"There's no sign of Alt or the team in this room," Hira said when the boys caught up to her.

"If we go through those doors," Justin pointed, "we go into the main lobby area. We can then go upstairs and into presumably some offices. I don't know if I ever went upstairs. Or we can keep going and go into the labs and pools."

"Let's take a look and see what we can see," Hira said.

Mike didn't say anything, he just sent off a quick text in the group chat. "Cubicles empty. No sign of Alt. Can still hear."

Hira cracked open the door to the lobby and peered through. She couldn't see anything but she did notice some movement on the second floor. A door looked like it was just closing.

"Something upstairs," Hira said in a whisper, even through the upbeat tempo of Mike's 'stealth playlist'.

"What?" he asked from his position behind Justin.

"Something upstairs," Hira repeated louder. "Something moving."

"We should check it out," Justin said, but didn't move. Mike agreed and waited for those in front of him ot move as he quickly texted the group what was happening, keeping Mister Collins informed.

"Follow me," Hira said.

She moved into the big open lobby, quickly scanned the entire area, doing what Rafe kept trying to teach her and used both sets of eyes to scan for detail and movement. Nothing reached her notice so she signaled the boys to follow her as she quickly flew up to the top of the stairs that lead to the second floor.

"This is ridiculous isn't it?" Mike asked as Justin and him ran up the stairs still crouching a little bit to try and be quiet and everything.

"Yeah, but so is your 'infiltration playlist'," Justin remarked.

"You got a problem with Beyonce?"

"No, it's a good song," Justin said, "but it doesn't feel very stealthy."

"These songs are for all occasions I'll have you know."

Justin rolled his eyes as he joined Hira by the door. She pulled it open slowly and peered inside.

She immediately spotted a few zlilfians on the ground and some people moving further down the hallway.

"They're here," she said.

Mike quickly texted Mister Collins.

"I saw a couple of the team members down, and some movement further away."

"Should we go in there and try to pull them back?" Justin asked.

"Yes. And hit anyone that gets too close that isn't one of us," Hira instructed.

Justin and Mike nodded.

Hira opened the door and right away Justin saw exiting one of the lab rooms 30 feet down the hallway was his dad.

"Dad!"

"Found team n Justin's dad. Also bad guys gotta fight bye!!!!" Mike quickly texted Mister Collins. He felt the phone vibrate multiple times as the song ended.

"I gotta get my dad!" Justin said and ran into the room just as the song changed over. It took a moment to realize that he stopped hearing whatever Mike was playing next as he entered the aura of silence.

He ignored it and ran down the hallway towards his dad. But he was stopped short by a big burly man stepping in front of him. He looked like someone who might work security at a secure research facility.

He looked down at Justin and the teenager quickly backed up as the silent man advanced on him, hands out, intent on catching him.

"Remember when you said," came the song as Justin backed out of the silence aura.

"Oh crap," Mike muttered as he and Hira pulled out their weapons.

Justin ducked under a swing from the big man as Hira and Mike advanced with their clubs and hit him straight in the chest.

But the burly man didn't seem to register the blows at all.

Justin raised his arm with the zlilfian taser thing on it and moved his hand down in the gesture to fire it that Hira had taught him. A blue bolt of light shot out from the front of the taser and slammed into the man's chest. He twitched slightly and fell over, stunned.

"And good for you," the song continued.

"Oh crap, they see us," Mike pointed out.

This part of the building had labs on one side, and a wide open area with views down to the large pools and water tanks on the first floor. Across the gap, opposite to where they were standing was an entire group of other people gathering equipment from the labs. The light from Justin's taser alerted everyone to their presence.

Justin's dad saw the attack and hurriedly started to climb down to the first floor.

"Now you can be a better man..."

Justin ran to follow him, and Mike went after. Hira flew to the downed agents and saw that they were unconscious. But there were only two of them, the other three were missing.

They were immediately set on by a combination of humans and zlilfians. All with the same dull expression and lackluster compelled movements.

Hira jumped over the railing on the balcony and down on the head of one of the humans rushing the boys. She quickly dropped her with a sting to the back of the neck. The human's eyes rolled back into her head and she fell to the ground.

Mike got into a duel with another security guard who drew a baton of his own.

Hira quickly went to go assist him by bashing her baton into the security guard's knee, which Mike followed up by smashing his own baton into their head.

"Sorry!" he yelled as the guard crumpled to the ground.

"Well good for you, you look happy and healthy, not me," rang out the phone as the Silence Aura moved back away from the teens and their assault.

They charged forward again, once again into the Silence. Justin pointed his taster at a zlilfian he saw flying at him. The blue light erupted from his wrist and hit the flying person square in the chest, dropping them straight to the ground in a crumpled heap.

Mike fought off a zlilfian that had tried to come from behind them, and Hira was avoiding a stinger of a djargandin who was taller than her by a few inches. They were quick with their stinger, so Hira was hoping that their toxin potency was as law as it usually was for djargandins.

"Well screw that and screw you"

Justin looked out across the pools and saw there were a bunch of people, presumably still in the aura loading up equipment and things and taking them out of the area.

His dad was heading that way, with what looked like a computer tower in his hands.

Hira flew backwards a few feet and then rushed forward before her opponent had a chance to react to the distance change and slammed her weapon into their chest. She quickly followed it up with another sting. There was a lethargy she was starting to feel with her stinger. She knew that she had, maybe, one good sting left.

Mike had position himself so that when he charged forward and pushed his opponent, they fell into a pool with a now very perturbed manatee.

"And good for you, it's like you never even met-" the song cut off as the aura pushed past them again, and suddenly they were back in utter silence.

Justin pushed Mike down as a taser blast rushed by where he had just been standing.

Hira saw the bright blast and quickly took cover behind some boxes of diving equipment.

Mike took out his phone. "What do we do now?"

"I have to get my dad!" Justin texted back furiously as another blue bolt soared over their heads.

"We don't know what's going on here," Hira said. "The aura keeps moving. And we haven't seen Alt yet."

"What are you doing there?" demanded Mister Collins. "Don't fight them! Retreat! Now!"

They all collectively dropped him from the group chat.

"My dad might know what is going on. If we can get him we can learn what they are doing," Justin texted.

"Then we go. Be careful," Hira responded.

"If you ever cared to ask"

When the teens looked up most of the silenced people had retreated to the far end of the room, most carrying equipment they were stealing from the Institute.

"They're trying to leave," Justin said as he rushed after them, and his dad.

The group quickly followed the fleeing Silenced. Justin shot off another taser blast, just missing the last of the group fleeing out the back door.

Mike got to the door a second after it closed, and slammed it open. The heat and sunshine of the Miami day hit them a moment later.

"Good for you" the song chorused again.

After blinking for a moment to let their eyes adjust, they saw that the Silenced were trying to load up a bunch of equipment into one of the research vessels the Institute owned.

Justin spotted his dad by the boat. Hira also spotted Rafe amid the crowd. And she realized she had a choice to make. Did she help out Justin and try to rescue his dad, or did she try to rescue her friend?

In some part of her mind Hira knew that she had to help out Justin and his dad. The Silence was the enemy of the zlilfians. The humans were collateral damage, unwitting pawns in an ancient war that they didn't deserve to be involved in. She had to help them out. And as much as she felt responsibility for Rafe... well Rafe could handle herself.

Hira flew over to help Mike and Justin.

i have a kofi

find me on pillowfort

[petersasteria]

Pride And Joy - Peter Parker

Parker || Main || Taglist

Stark!Peter x Reader - both aged up Requested? Nah. 3,621 words W: curse words, a bit of smut (omg and it's a no for minors), cheating, pregnancy, virginity loss, just Peter being a rich kid that's all, character death

* * * *

“It’s literally a big deal, Peter! You know this award means so much to me and you didn’t even attend the opening!” Gwen yelled in anger. Peter was supposed to be Gwen’s plus one at an awarding ceremony for doctors. She won the AMA Foundation Award for Health Education and it meant so much to her. It was understandable that she was royally pissed at Peter.

Peter scoffed as he sat down on the couch with his feet on top of the coffee table. The small table next to the couch had his scotch on top of it. The glass had droplets of water running down it because of condensation. Peter grabbed the glass and took a sip from it as Gwen, his long time girlfriend, kept yelling at him. Peter kept making faces as Gwen yelled. She finally took notice of this and shouted, “Are you even listening, Peter?! God! You’re so out of touch lately! I don’t even talk to you anymore!”

“Oh, shut up, Gwen!” Peter rolled his eyes. “You’re a pain in the ass, you know that?!” Peter stood up from the couch and walked to the door.

“Where are you going?? We’re not done here, Peter! I’m still talking to you!”

Peter turned his head to look at her and said, “Yeah? Well, I’m done talking to you! Without me, you wouldn’t even have your award and you wouldn’t even attend medical school because you couldn’t afford it! Let’s not forget that I paid for your tuition fee and for everything else related to your studies. You don’t see me bragging about it, now do you?!”

Gwen shook her head as tears streamed down her face, “You’re such an asshole.”

“I’ve been called worse by better.” Peter said sassily before leaving the house. The door shook as he slammed it, making Gwen jump back in surprise. She retreated to hers and Peter’s shared bedroom and cried herself to sleep.

Meanwhile, Peter went to his favorite bar and drank the night away there. That’s where he met you. You were the new singer in the club and it was your first night on the job. It wasn’t your ideal job, but it pays the bills. Besides, you were thankful that you got a decent voice. Otherwise, you’d be waitressing and you didn’t have the patience to deal with people in general.

Peter loved your voice. It made him sober despite drinking copious amounts of alcohol. He just sat there and listened and hummed along to the songs he knew. When it was your break, he approached you.

You and the band were talking, getting to know each other when Peter tapped your shoulder. You turned around and smiled at him. Plus, he was cute. “Hi!” You greeted.

“Hey.” He smirked. “You’re a really good singer. I’m Peter.” He offered his hand for you to shake and you gladly took it. “I know. You’re, like, everywhere.” You giggled. “I’m Y/N.”

“Nice to meet you, Y/N.” Peter said before carefully letting go of your hand. He smiled to himself as he thought of your name rolling off on his tongue. It sounded right.

“Would you like to grab a drink with me?” Peter asked politely. “I’d love to get to know you.”

“I’d love to, but I’m about to sing in a minute.” You said. “But my shift ends in an hour, if you’re still up by then.”

“I’ll wait.” Peter winked as he walked to a new table, closer to where you were performing. He called for a waiter and ordered a drink as he watched you get ready.

You took a sip of water and turned on your mic. You slightly leaned forward and spoke through it, “Hi, everybody! I’m now back for my second set. This next song is for the people who recently got cheated on by their man-”

A man shouted “GO OFF, SIS” somewhere in the back and it made you chuckle. Your chuckle was music to Peter’s ears. He has never heard an angel chuckling before, but he was convinced that it sounded like yours.

“Anyway, this song is called ‘Irreplaceable’ by Beyonce.” You smiled before turning to your bandmates and nodding at them to start playing.

You sang a few more songs and before you knew it, your shift was over. “That’s my last song for tonight. My name is Y/N and you can catch me here every night from 9PM to 2AM. Thank you and have a good night!” You said before turning off your mic and thanking your bandmates. You walked towards Peter and asked, “Is this seat taken?”

He grinned and shook his head. You sat down in front of him and said, “It’s been a long time since I last drank.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. I can’t really handle it well and I do crazy shit. That’s why I moved here. I want to start fresh and all that.” You told him before calling your new friend, Amy, to order your drink. Amy’s a waitress and she’s really kind to you. She showed you how things went and everything.

Amy walked towards you and you told her, “You know my favorite drink already.” Amy grinned and said, “You got it, Y/N/N.” She left and immediately got you your drink.

You and Peter stayed there until 5AM just talking and laughing and drinking. It wasn’t until you looked at your watch that you noticed the time. “Oh, shit. It’s already 5AM.” You giggled before downing the last drop of your drink. “I have to leave and get some sleep.”

“I’ll take you home.” Peter offered, downing his last drink as well.

“You don’t have to do that. I live just around the corner.” You smiled at him. “Thank you, though.”

“Nonsense! It’s my day off, anyway. I’d also be really happy to know that you’re safe.” Peter said and you shrugged. “Alright.”

You went to the back and grabbed your bag as Peter waited for you outside the front of the bar. You finally walked out and Peter grinned at you. You two walked together and true enough, your apartment was really near. He offered to walk you upstairs and you allowed him to.

When you got there, you stood in front of your door and said, “Well, this is me. Thanks for walking me home.”

“No problem.” Peter smiled. You looked at each other for a while and Peter couldn’t help himself. He leaned forward and kissed you. You were in shock for a second, but you immediately kissed back. His arms wrapped around your waist and your arms were around his neck. It was getting heated and you decided to pull away for air.

“Oh my god. I’m so sor-”

“Don’t apologize.” Peter panted. “Don’t be sorry. We both know we want it. Why should we stop?”

You looked at him before quickly turning around to unlock your door. You and Peter quickly went inside and you locked the door as soon as you got in. He took your hand in his and pulled you towards him to kiss you once more.

You pulled away and said, “Wait, not here.” You brought him to your room and he pushed you on your bed as he got on top of you and leaned in to kiss you. Before you knew it, yours and his clothes were on the floor and as he lined himself in your entranced, you stopped him.

“I’ve never done this before.” You blurted out.

“What?” Peter said.

“I’ve never… done it… before.” You said and you were embarrassed that you had to tell him that. In fact, you wished you kept your mouth shut. He looked at you and shrugged, “That’s okay. I’ll be gentle, I swear.”

He smiled at you softly before pecking your lips sweetly and lining himself in your entrance again. You relaxed a bit as he slowly entered you. It hurt a bit and once he was fully in, he lets you adjust to him before slowly thrusting. Once you got used to it, you begged him to go faster until you felt something forming in you.

“I think I’m gonna-” You moaned.

“Just let it out.” Peter grunted. You did as you were told and Peter released in you too. He rode out your highs and pulled out before laying next to you. Both of you were gasping for air and you didn’t say anything for a while.

“Oh my god.” You said as soon as you caught your breath. “I can’t believe I lost my virginity to a Stark.”

“You’re welcome.” Peter said with a smirk.

Your little rendezvous with Peter happened every day since you met. It always happened at your small apartment and you felt sorry for your neighbors who got to hear you moaning through the thin walls. Peter didn’t care, though. He loved hearing you. He’s got you wrapped around his finger and you didn’t even notice that. You were innocent and fresh and he loved it.

He still went home and he still went on a few dates with Gwen, his long time girlfriend. Peter knew what he was doing and he knew it was wrong, but there was something about you that he really liked that he couldn’t put his finger on. He never told you about Gwen and he never told Gwen about you. It was meant to be that way until everything changed.

You were pregnant.

After all the wild sex that you and Peter did, you realized that he never wore protection. You quickly texted Peter about it and Peter quickly went to see you.

“What the fuck?!” Peter said as soon as you opened the door. You rolled your eyes and allowed him to come in before closing it.

“Yes. I’m pregnant and you’re the father.”

“I can’t be the father.” Peter shook his head.

“Well, too bad. You’re the father of this baby that I’m carrying. Besides, how can anyone else be the father? You’re the only man I’ve been sexual with. Why are you so upset?” You told him with a frown and somehow seeing you frown made Peter sad. He walked up to you and gave you a hug which you gladly returned.

“We’ll get through this.” Peter said even though he knew he was screwed. What would his father, Tony Stark, say? Tony would be disappointed, that’s for sure. He’d be yelled at.

A month later, Gwen found out. She saw Peter’s phone laying around which made her roll her eyes. She grabbed it and when she did, the screen lit up as a notification came in. Gwen knew that she wasn’t supposed to look, but her guts told her otherwise. She looked at it and gasped.

It was a text from you saying that the baby is okay and that you were excited to become a mom and that you already loved the baby.

Peter got out of the shower with only a towel wrapped around his waist. He saw Gwen holding his phone and said, “What are you doing with my phone?”

“Who’s Y/N?” Gwen asked with a frown and a disappointed look on her face. “And why is she telling you all about her pregnancy? I would believe you if you told me that she’s just a friend, but she has a heart emoji next to her contact name. Who is she, Pete?”

“I cheated on you.” Peter said. It was so straightforward. He didn’t give Gwen a time to react as he just kept talking about what happened since the night of their argument. He told Gwen about how you two met, where you worked, where you lived, everything. After all, he could give Gwen was honesty. He didn’t have a reason to lie when everything’s out there.

“We’re done, Peter.” Gwen said as she tried not to cry. Peter nodded in understanding. “Peter, I love you and I always will, but that kid needs a father and I don’t want to get in the way of that. The kid is more important now.”

Gwen looked at the man she loved more than anything in the world and smiled sadly, “It wasn’t working out anymore, anyway. I wish you nothing but good luck and happiness. Since this is your house, I’ll move out. Don’t worry about me.”

Gwen walked up to him and kissed his cheek before grabbing a bag to pack her things. Peter gave Gwen a few days to move out before asking you to come live with him. You didn’t want to leave your apartment, but you figured the baby needed a decent home.

Once you moved in, Peter came clean to you about Gwen and everything. It hurt to know that you were just a side chick, but you knew it wasn’t your fault. He never told you in the beginning. Because of this, you decided not to agree to be his girlfriend when he asked.

“But why? We’re having a baby together.” Peter asked with furrowed eyebrows.

“I just- I can’t, alright?” You frowned. “I’m still so upset to find out that I’m the side chick. Just give me some time to get over it.”

After that, you were surprised that Peter still welcomed you to stay. You were always taken care of and Peter made sure that the maids made sure you were comfortable whenever he’s at work. He pampered you and he spoiled the unborn baby inside of you as well. He bought a crib, a baby monitor and all things that a baby needs.

“Peter, I’m not even close to my due date yet.” You chuckled. At this point, you were already two months pregnant. Peter smiled and said, “I don’t mind. It’s better to be early because knowing me, I forget things.”

Time passed by quickly and it wasn’t long until you were seven months pregnant. A few months back, you and Peter found out that you were having a boy and that excited both of you. Now, it’s like you’re the only one who’s excited. You noticed that Peter wasn’t happy anymore.

One night when he came home from work, you confronted him about his behavior. “Peter, are you okay? You seem really sad lately.” You said softly.

Peter stared at the wall and heavily sighed, “I made a mistake, Y/N. I’m so sorry that I have to do this to you.” The fact that he can’t even look at you says everything. You knew that what he was about to say, will ruin you. You felt it.

“I think I still love Gwen.” Peter mumbled. “What happened to us was a mistake and I’m so sorry that I gave you false hope of becoming a family. I’m really sorry.” He felt so bad. He genuinely did. It wasn’t some sick joke and he cried. You cried too, but you refused to let Peter see your tears. Instead, you sat next to him and patted his back as he sobbed with his head in his hands.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” He cried. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

You hugged him and rubbed his back with your palm in a circular motion. “Shh, it’s okay. It’s fine, Peter. We all make mistakes.” You said, your voice trembling. You gulped and held your composure. You didn’t want to cry because you knew it would make him feel even more bad. You didn’t want that.

“It’s okay, Peter. Really, it’s fine.” You said sadly. You couldn’t help it, though. Your tears streamed down your face as you silently cried while you held Peter in your arms. “We’ll be okay.”

You quickly wiped your tears before letting go of Peter. He looked at you straight in the eyes and opened his mouth to apologize. You brought your index finger to his mouth and shook your head.

“Don’t.” You said. “I’ll move out.” You got up and started packing your things. Peter left the room because he couldn’t take it. You were an innocent person who got dragged into this mess and you didn’t deserve it. He hated hurting you, but what’s done is done.

You packed what you can and exited the room that you and Peter shared. You dragged your suitcase downstairs and Peter cringed as he heard every step you took. Peter got up from the couch when he saw you reaching for the door.

“Y/N, please promise me something.” Peter pleaded. You looked in the eyes that you’ve grown to love. You nodded and said, “Anything.”

“Promise me that you’ll give me updates about the baby. Send me pictures and videos and just tell me everything about him, okay? I want to feel close to him somehow. If Gwen takes me back, I know she won’t allow me to see you and him.” Peter explained.

“Of course. Anything for you, Pete.” You gave him a small smile before leaving.

That was the last time Peter saw you. Surprisingly, Gwen took him back and he was right; Gwen didn’t want him to see you or the kid despite what she said before about not wanting the kid to grow up without a father. In Gwen’s thoughts, Peter went back to her for a reason and that reason is to be with her. Therefore, Peter should start fresh and pretend everything related to you never happened.

You never texted Peter for a while and that scared him. You promised to update him and not getting any texts from you sent shivers down his spine.

Two months later, you texted him again. It was midnight and Peter was still awake. He was working on his laptop when he got your message. He quickly looked at it and it was a picture of you in the hospital bed with a baby in your arms; his son.

Your text read: Meet Maxim. He’s healthy and he’s fine.

Peter was so happy that he finally heard from you again. He was extremely happy. He was sad that he had no trace of you in his house because the day after you left, Peter sent yours and all the baby’s things to your apartment. It left nothing behind.

Knowing he couldn’t be physically present, Peter sent you a bouquet of flowers and a note that said: ‘Congratulations, darling. Like his name, Maxim is the greatest little boy I’ve ever seen.’

This turned into a tradition for years. Every year, Peter would send gifts for Maxim on his birthday and it would make him happy. Maxim loved his father despite not meeting him yet. He saw pictures of Peter, though. He kept his favorites in his room.

Peter and Gwen got married and even though that happened, he longed to see your updates. It felt wrong, but he just wanted to know you were okay.

One day texts from you just stopped. Peter became paranoid not knowing about yours and Maxim’s condition. He was extremely sad when a week passed by and he still hasn’t heard from you.

“Dad, can you just calm down? I’m trying here, alright!” Peter raised his voice as he spoke to Tony through the phone. “I’ll handle the M.I.T scholarships, dad. You know that I’ll handle it. What makes you think that you can’t trust me?”

“Well, you cheated on Gwen and I lost my trust in you too.” Tony sassed.

“For god’s sake, that was like eight years ago! Get over it!” Peter hissed. “Anyway, I-”

Peter got cut off upon hearing a knock on the door. “Linda, can you get that please?” He shouted from the kitchen before continuing his talk with Tony. The person behind the door knocked again and Peter sighed.

“Dad, hold on a sec.” Peter grumbled. “Linda! Can you get the door, please?!” He stayed quiet for a while and waited for Linda’s footsteps, but they never came. Peter shook his head and spoke to Tony again.

“I’ll just open the door. Linda’s probably watching TV in the maid’s quarters. She likes the volume super loud.”

“Jesus, kid. Just fire her.” Tony said and Peter imagined his father rolling his eyes and disappointingly shaking his head.

“Linda needs the job. Anyway, I’ll get the door.” Peter said as he heard knocking again. He puts his phone on the countertop. He quickly jogged to the front door and opened it.

“Hi, dad.”

Peter wanted to faint. He looked around and you were nowhere in sight. “M-Maxim?”

“That’s me!” Maxim grinned. The 8-year-old boy had the features of Peter and it was so obvious that Peter’s his father. Peter stared at him for a long time and Maxim cleared his throat, “May I come in?”

Peter could only nod as he opened the door wider for Maxim. He closed the door and quickly went to the kitchen. He grabbed his phone and said, “Dad, I’ll call you back.”

“Why? What ha-”

Peter hung up the phone and turned his attention to his son who was standing behind him. “Was that grandpa?” Maxim asked with an innocent look on his face.

“Yeah.” Peter smiled softly. “Where’s your mom?”

Maxim frowned, “She’s dead.”

Peter’s heart stopped. Maxim told him about how you met your demise and Peter couldn’t function anymore. The mother of his child was now dead and he didn’t even get to say goodbye. It broke him and his heart broke even more for his son because he was motherless at the tender age of eight. He looked at his precious son with sad eyes as Maxim explained everything.

Peter hugged him tightly and swore to himself that he’d protect Maxim at all cost. He just couldn’t believe that you were gone.

* * * *

Part 2? Bc there will be whether you like it or not.

𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐏𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @blueleatherbag @cocoamoonmalfoy @thatforgottenangel @parkerpeter24 @slutforsr @givebuckyhisplumsnow @buckys-little-hoe @runawayolives @chewymoustachio @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @yourstrulyamour @beverlythrillz @pearce14 @juliediggory @yaya4302 @alexx-stancati @rumplebutterbaby @dummiesshort @spideyspeaches @quxxnxfhxll @marvelsimps @angelsgrxzer @dreamy-clousds @bora-world @hunnybunimdun @supred12 @more-like-reyna @caitsymichelle13

𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @holland-styles @trustfundparker @calltothewild @felicityparkers @hufflepuffprincess24 @tommysparker @justasmisunderstoodasloki @quaksonhehe @call-me-baby-gir1 @itstaskeen @theonly1outof-a-billion @lost-in-the-stars03 @justafangirlduh @piscesparker @speedymaximoff @miraclesoflove @lexirv @blairscott @getbywithasmile @pqrkerr @lavender-writer @blackbat2020 @hoodpankow @bi-lmg

[phykios]

honesty and promise me, co-written with @darkmagyk [read on ao3]

“I’m in love,” Piper tells her when she shows up for another fitting. “Have you seen the new Beyonce video?”

“I heard the song.” Annabeth says, “isn’t that enough?”

“God, your whole play-acting thing is too far if you’re pretending to not like Beyonce.”

“I never said that.” Annabeth holds up her hands, “I like the song. But I did not see the video.”

“Well, when you see it, you’ll be in love too, but I will fight you.”

Piper could be scrappy in a fight. But Annabeth had been a champion fencer in high school.

“Kidding!” Piper says at her look. “There’s plenty of them to go around.” She didn’t even start to drape fabric over Annabeth, pushing her onto a muslin covered couch, and then pulling the video on the TV. She didn’t have one of those voice control devices. Because she was friends with Leo, and he was pretty firm on them being evil. “But I do call dibs on the main guy. The CALVES. The thighs. He’s unreal.”

“That good?” Piper went all ways, though as of late she gravitated towards women more often than not, so this was some high praise indeed. 

“Unreal, I am telling you. Like, the hand of God came down and sculpted him personally out of marble.”

Already in her recent watch history, the thumbnail of the video greets them, the song title splashed across the TV screen, weaving between  a very, very familiar set of legs. 

Like, intimately familiar. 

In something of detached horror, she watches the camera pan up, lovingly lingering on every inch of bare skin, following the muscles of his calves (which were unreal) to his knees then his thighs (which Annabeth had spent almost too much time between now), up his torso and his chest (which she knew made for an excellent pillow) to Percy’s face, set in a firm, hard stare. 

And that fucking blue lipstick again. 

She can’t even focus on Beyonce herself, too distracted by the way her hand traces the length of Percy’s outstretched thigh held in perfect arabesque as she gracefully drapes herself over him, crooning softly into his ear.

Annabeth should do that next time. That’s her spot, after all. 

Tearing her eyes away from the screen even as Piper watches, enraptured, she slips out her phone, sending a quick, furious text. 

annabeth: BEYONCE???????

A minute, then he responds. 

percy: oh lol i didn’t realize that came out today 😁

percy: what’d you think?

annabeth: i think im going to kill you later

“Just look at him,” Piper says, pausing on Percy’s form, his arms outstretched, fingers placed delicately around a bar. “I mean--look at him!”

“Yeah,” she chuckles, maybe a little uneasy. “He’s alright I guess.”

Incredulous, Piper swivels her head. “Alright? Alright? Do you need your eyes checked?”

She just shrugs. 

Why is she being so weird about this? It’s just Piper. She’s trained to find symmetry and beauty in bodies. They’ve happily shared crushes and fixations plenty of times before, so why is Annabeth being so weird about Percy? It’s not like they’re… you know… dating or anything. Just hooking up a bit. 

Piper squints at her, then shrugs herself. “Fine. I don’t have time to get an answer out of you anyway. Come on.”

“Speaking of time,” Annabeth says, following Piper back into the kitchen studio, “I have to head out by 6:30.”

“Oh yeah?” Piper’s head is buried in her belt box, searching for the perfect accent. “What for?”

“I’ve got a show to catch.”

“Kind of early,” she says, pulling out something thin and silver. “Don’t you usually meet Thalia at the ass crack of midnight?”

“Well I kind of want to eat first.”

“Okay.” She cinches the belt around her waist, tight. “Then you’re going to have to help me with this skirt.”

***

Hands aching from hours of macrame, Annabeth walks up to the box office window at the Koch Theater at 7:46, having a handful of second thoughts. 

Old, uppity white couples keep shooting her some particularly intense passive aggressive glares, some of them even venturing into actually aggressive territory, which usually wouldn’t even register on her very short list of things to care about, except that she is feeling woefully out of place. The lady in front of her has ten pounds of diamonds hanging off of each old, wrinkly ear, and the best Annabeth could do was fish out her least-ripped pair of jeans, pairing it with one of her nicer black shirts, the sleeves long enough to cover most of her tattoos. The macrame kept her longer than she had meant, so she didn’t have time to change before dinner, but fuck it, right?

She did also take out most of her face jewelry on the way. But she left the nose stud, obviously. And the tongue piercing. And the industrial, because Percy really likes those, so she doesn’t feel that bad about it. And he hadn’t even told her about this until after she had already given herself the half-undercut, so it’s not like she could do anything about that either.

“Can I help you?” At least this box office worker isn’t giving her the stink-eye. 

“I’m here to pick up a ticket? Should be under ‘Jackson.’” He’d offered to leave it under her name, but this was safer. She doesn’t think her mom is a big ballet person, but she isn’t about to risk it, either.

She slides the ticket towards Annabeth beneath the glass plane. “Enjoy the show,” she says, with a quirk of her mouth that is surprisingly sincere for someone in customer service. 

She’s pretty sure she’d enjoy the show more if she weren’t panicking thinking about getting dirt on their fancy carpets. Her boots are clean, of course, and she doesn’t really care, but she doesn’t want to, like, embarrass Percy or whatever. She’d asked him if she should dress up, but he’d assured her otherwise. “No one’s going to care, I promise,” he’d told her the night before, her lounging in his bed while he did some pushups. “And if anyone says something, let me know and we can kick their ass after the show together.”

“Great. Guess I don’t have to break out the Chanel, then.”

He’d paused, frowned, then huffed a laugh, shaking his head. Like the idea of Annabeth wearing Chanel was hilarious. Like what she’s wearing tonight really is the best that she can do.

Self-consciousness isn’t really a feeling that Annabeth has anymore. She’s spent so many years chafing against expectations, shucking them off when she inevitably failed to meet them, desperate for a place, a crowd where she could just be. In her scene, she doesn’t have anything to prove to anyone, and when Percy is out with her, he doesn’t need any convincing. He likes her. He likes her a lot, she thinks. He likes her enough to let himself be dragged out to every shitty dive bar and shittier rock show in New York City, laughing and cheering and holding her close the whole time. He likes her enough to cart her to his apartment at 4 AM, inevitably waking Nico up from his undead slumber, and leave her with nothing but a glass of water and a kiss on the forehead. And she likes him, too--a lot. Annabeth likes Percy enough to ditch her band t-shirts for a night and track mud on the carpet of the Koch Theater and willingly sit through a performance of fucking Swan goddamn Lake of all things, and it’s only a little scary how much she is willing to do for him after only a few months of fucking him. Because this really isn’t her scene, not anymore. 

The weight of everyone’s stares bears down on her, threatening to crush her beneath them, a feeling she was so sure she’d left behind. 

At least Percy had been thoughtful enough to get her a ticket out of the way in the back of one of the balcony sections. It’s a bit of a hike, but the audience members aren’t dressed quite as nicely as the ones downstairs, and she feels like she can breathe a little easier.

She pulls out her phone, checking her text messages on instinct. There’s a selfie from Percy in his stage makeup (and she’s not going to lie… he looks fucking pretty), with his standard accompanying three blue heart emojis. She can’t help it, her heart skips a beat and she can’t help but smile, even as she rolls her eyes. She’s just about to send him something appropriately sarcastic when another text notification slides in. It’s from her father. 

Hi Annabeth… I was talking to a friend in Boston who said he's looking for a new 

prospective in his architecture firm. Passed your information along. 

Love you, dear

She swipes it away. Deletes the whole text conversation, for good measure. 

Forget about him. This night is about Percy.

A few minutes later, so engrossed in Percy’s program bio (it’s about all she can focus on right now), she doesn’t even notice everyone around her leaning forward in breathless anticipation, until the warm, honey-like sound of the oboe draws her head up. 

Roughly two minutes in, she’s really wishing she had attempted the synopsis. The extent of her knowledge of Swan Lake is a few half-remembered orchestra rehearsals in her teens and reading the Wikipedia article on that Natalie Portman movie a few months ago, and she definitely doesn’t recall there being anything about any Men-in-Tights looking motherfuckers prancing around. They’re sort of bobbing, back and forth, elegantly stepping from one side of the stage to another. Even from back here, she can see the delicate, precise placement of their hands, fingers curved just so, moving through space as though they aren’t bound by the laws of physics.

The fingers, she remembers. She could never get the hang of the fingers. Her old ballet teacher had given up on them after a week, and that had been the beginning of the end for that particular extracurricular. 

Now her fingers tap on her jeans, impatient, far faster than the easy going music on stage. She’s just about to give in to the millennial instinct and pull out her phone, maybe play a round of sudoku, when the dancers motion as one to the back corner, and Percy comes stepping out. His hair is perfectly slicked back, gelled down, any hint of curl beaten into submission, and his smile is small, but white, gleaming against the tanned brown of his skin. She can’t help but smile back, like he could somehow see her. Finally, she thinks, relaxing a little more into her seat. Something to watch.

On his off days, her off days, any day when she would spent the night at his (always at his, never at hers) and wake up wrapped in his comforter and the smell of seawater, she would take the blanket with her and steal into his living room, curl up on his couch with her feet tucked under her legs, and watch him dance. She’s seen him drill these sequences over, and over, and over again, counting furious sequences of sixes and eights beneath his breath in duet with the thuds of his feet on his floor. Most times he would notice her and shoot her a grin, granting her permission to observe the artist at work. Sometimes, though, he would be so caught up in his body, the shifting of his feet and the music in his head, that it was like he couldn’t see her at all. Seemingly alone, he would dance, uninhibited, and she would be struck by a feeling that she usually reserves for specific monuments. Watching Percy dance in his apartment, in his brown tights and black tank top, lost in his own world, is like looking at pictures of the Gateway Arch, or the Hoover Dam, or the Parthenon.

She searches for that feeling now, leaning forward in her seat, eyes hungrily raving his form, but she just doesn’t see it. It’s… honestly, it’s a little boring. She won’t lie. He had warned her it would be something of a slow start, but this isn’t exactly an ADHD friendly medium, and she is losing her patience, just a bit. He’s so reserved, like he’s holding something close to his chest, impersonal as he takes the hands of the female dancers and lets them twirl around him. 

Personally, Annabeth thinks that he looks kind of lost. Maybe he’s just nervous--it’s a big role and he’s a young guy. But he had seemed fine when he’d kissed her goodbye just after lunch. 

The court jester is killing it though. Feeling just the slightest bit guilty, she lets her eyes drift over to him, deciding to watch him for a while instead.

On some level, she does appreciate the skill on display here. Percy can raise his back leg in a perfect ninety degree angle that would make her architecture professors sweat. The girls drift back and forth across the stage on the tips of their toes, weightless and ethereal. It’s mesmerizing, and she lets herself be mesmerized.

Time must slip away from her, because she blinks and all of a sudden the stage has gone from sunny yellow to cool blue, the crowds of dancers having vanished. He is alone on stage. Percy kneels in a deep lunge that makes her thighs ache just looking at him (and for… other reasons), his arms and his attention pointed to the wings, with a… Annabeth squints. When the hell did he get a crossbow?

But everything is swept to the sides when the White Swan tiptoes her way on stage, impossibly graceful, and all of a sudden, Annabeth gets it. 

It feels a little cliche to say, but the way that woman moves on the floor really does remind her of those old, vintage jewelry boxes, suspended in animation, moved by some otherworldly force. It’s amazing. It’s a little terrifying. Sublime is the word that comes to mind as Annabeth watches her. Her arms move with fluidity, perfect curves, her fingers trailing behind her like wings. 

And Percy is just as mesmerized as Annabeth is. As the audience is. 

A few things hit her, in rapid succession. First, that Percy is, actually, a really good actor. His reticence before--he’d been playing a character. He’d been playing aloof and reserved and unmoored, because Percy--Siegfried--whatever--has been waiting his whole life for something to fulfill him, until this singular moment, the moment he laid eyes on this beautiful creature. Second, that she doesn’t need words to understand what’s going on. It’s all there, in every look and gesture and step, as the two characters circle each other, slowly but irrevocably falling in love. And third, that she recognizes the look on his face. It’s the look that Percy gives her when she has been talking for too long and he can’t get a word in edgewise, or when she screams along to the god awful underground bands, three beers in and missing every single fuck she’d ever had, or when she wakes up after him to Percy’s arms around her waist, her hair in his mouth and her head resting against his collarbone. She recognizes it, because that’s the look that Siegfried has for Odette. Because that’s the look that Percy has for Annabeth. Because he loves her.

And fourth, that that doesn’t make her as happy as she wishes it would. 

There’s a cold pit in her stomach for the rest of the show, a turning screw that twists in deeper, minute by minute, with every turn of the dancers. She wastes the next hour trying to puzzle this out, not even pretending to watch the drama unfolding on stage, because it makes no goddamn sense. (Her situation, not the ballet--she managed to skim the synopsis during intermission, her foot tapping incessantly against the blessedly empty seat in front of her.) Things are great between them. It’s been a heady, intoxicating four months, full of bubbles and butterflies, sweet, soft mornings, and some really, really phenomenal sex. This should make her happy. This should put her over the fucking moon, and she cannot, for the life of her, figure out why it doesn’t.

The prima ballerina comes back out as the Black Swan, just as poised and precise as her counterpart, but she’s a great actress as well, because there is something undeniably different about her. Her arms move like rubber, like joints are just an afterthought, wrapping themselves around Percy’s neck and shoulders. She misdirects his attention, drawing his eyes to her wrists, her clavicle, the curve of a leg or the point of her toe. Seducing him. Tricking him. 

Like Annabeth. 

Because try as she might to run from it, Annabeth isn’t who she says she is. She wants so desperately to be this fuck-the-rules, fight-the-power, punk rock princess that she took every part of her that didn’t fit that image and tried to rip it out of her, bloody and struggling. Her trust fund, her two (two!) Harvard degrees, her enriched childhood and her bright and shining future; she took it all out back and shot it, and prayed that would be the end of it. She’s a phony, just like that goddamn Black Swan. Percy is in love with a phony. 

Her sweet, wonderful, devastatingly kind and handsome Percy--she tricked him and made him fall in love with a mishmash of archetypes and aesthetics, distracting him with nose piercings and ripped t-shirts and ugly, deafening noise. 

She’s not surprised that she’s crying when the curtain falls. She’d never known that Siegfried and Odette both died at the end. 

When the cast reunites for curtain call, Percy is given a standing ovation, and Annabeth enthusiastically joins in, wiping the tears from her eyes, smearing her makeup. 

She doesn’t wait for him at the stage door, but sits on the steps of the theater, plucking at her sleeves, aching for a drink and wishing she had had the presence of mind to wear something a little nicer. Percy finds her there almost an hour after the show ended. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

In the dark of night, illuminated only by streetlamps, she can’t read his face--but she can read exhaustion, in every part of his body. “I was waiting for you by the stage door.”

Something in her stomach goes cold. “I… wasn’t sure if I was allowed,” she offers, weakly. 

He smiles, a light in the dark. “Of course you’re allowed,” he says, offering her a hand. “Shall we?”

She knows what will happen next. She’ll take his hand, and they’ll walk to the subway together, fingers intertwined. They’ll get on the 1 train headed north, and Percy will let her rest her head against him, tilting his head back against the window, eyes closed, almost asleep. The doorman will nod at them as they walk up to Nico’s apartment, barely batting an eye at his sweats and her ripped jeans, the two of them sticking out like a sore thumb in a sea of impeccably dressed rich New Yorkers. Nico will wave at them distractedly from his office, gulping down his sixth coffee of the night, and they’ll tiptoe into his room, falling asleep in each other’s arms with little more than a good night kiss. 

Which, of course, is exactly what does end up happening.

Almost. 

Annabeth crawls on top of him in his bed, kissing him soft and senseless. She doesn’t know where he’s getting this energy from, but she is not complaining as he slips up inside of her, the two of them rocking each other gently to orgasm, their foreheads pressed together. Shuddering as he comes, he captures her mouth in another kiss, pouring every ounce of love he has in him into her.

A waste, honestly. 

But as far as goodbye sex, it’s pretty damn great. 

She needs to end this, before either of them get hurt. It’s the least of what he deserves, after all. To put yourself out there, to offer yourself up like that, that might be the bravest thing Annabeth’s ever heard of, and surely, Annabeth can find the courage to do what needs to be done.

[brattyfics]

Savage

Summary: Miguel Galindo’s wife accidentally shows off her new lingerie set to Nestor and other members of the security team. Inspired by @sheeshgivemeabreak head cannon of Miguel’s significant other being seen by Nestor in her lingerie.

Pairing: Miguel Galindo x Black!OC

Warnings: Some cringy use of the word savage, Miguel Galindo quoting Beyonce and Megan Thee Stallion, exhibitionism (sorta?), rough sex.

Word count: 2K+

Placing the Chanel #5 perfume on the vanity, Ava, leaned back to admire her handiwork. 

Her normally big, thick hair had been pressed and curled to perfection, falling down into beautiful barrel curls past her shoulders. Long-lashed eyes blinked back at her in the mirror, glossy, pink lips gleaming despite the low lighting. 

Ava’s eyes trailed down to her breasts, shifting and adjusting to make sure everything was perfect. A white lingerie set from Agent Provocateur’s latest line clung to soft curves. The set was see-through for the most part, exposing her chocolate nipples and brown mound. Lace frilled the edges of the bra cups and panties, completing the naughty angel look. 

Satisfied, she turned from her reflection to strap on a pair of vintage designer heels, one of many gifts from her fiance, Miguel Galindo. She spared one final look at herself in the mirror before embarking on the mission to get her man in bed.

It wasn’t unheard of for him to spend long lengths of time in his personal study, the nature of his business called for it. Ava understood, but that didn’t mean she liked it. She tried to let him work uninterrupted for the most part, but sometimes he needed to be reminded of what was waiting for him in bed.

The short silk robe that covered her body did very little to preserve her modesty, so she was extra careful when scanning the hallway for bodies. Miguel normally kept his men off the second floor. It was hard for her to adjust to having someone watching her at all times, and this compromise did give her a small semblance of normalcy.

Confident no one would see her, she crept towards the office door, wanting to maintain the element of surprise. The two of them understood that she should know everything or nothing at all. Before getting married, they agreed on full disclosure. Still, Miguel didn’t want his two worlds completely fused together. Ava could tell he didn’t like her to be in the office, but she figured she would quickly be forgiven. As soon as the ties of her robe opened, Miguel would be focused on one thing.

Ava had seen Marcus leave earlier, it was rare that he did so. Being Miguel’s advisor meant he needed to be accessible 24/7, but everyone needed a break sometimes. For that reason, Ava was confident the two of them would be alone when she twisted the door knob and entered.

As soon as the door closed behind her, her fingers went to work at undoing the silk ties, and with a quick shrug Ava let gravity do the rest. Miguel’s head lifted from his papers in just enough time to watch it hit the ground, his mouth falling open, eyes widening in surprise.

Then movement to her right caused her to shriek and stumble back into the door. It was Ava’s turn for a surprise. 

Her own mouth fell open in horror. To her right stood a stunned Nestor, who had previously been occupied with something on the bookshelf.

“Shit!”

All three of them seemed to curse at the same time. Nestor scrambled to cover his eyes, books raining down with a thud in his haste. Eventually, he managed to turn so his back was facing Ava. Miguel dropped the papers he had been holding, locking eyes with Ava, communicating without saying a word. Your ass is in big trouble, missy. 

That tore her out of the shocked, frozen trance she had been in. She spun to open the door, her palms sweaty and clumsy, making the task ten times harder. Her heels clicked against the floor as she shuffled her feet impatiently. The tops of her ears burned, the thump of her heart sounding off within them.

The door opened, but not because of Ava’s doing. Hearing the scream and thump had caused the security team to run up the stairs. 

“Shit!” She shrieked again, bending down to scoop up the silk robe. Her nipples pebbled against the thin fabric as the gust of air from the door swinging open hit her. 

Nestor took that as his opportunity to make a dash for it, Miguel right behind him to slam the door in everyone’s face with a swear.

Harsh breathing were the only sounds to be heard on their side of the door, sounds of dress shoes clicking away on the other side.

Without a doubt, this was her most embarrassing moment. Ever.

The two of them stood there, Miguel’s hands above her head on the door, trapping her against it with his body as a gate. She tried in vain to calm herself and she was sure her man was trying to do the same. Waves of anger radiated off of him, and she knew there was an epic punishment coming her way.

“I-I’m sooo sorry, babe.” She apologized, slowly turning so she was facing him. 

He reminded her of an angry bull in that moment-- full of rage with a clear (and easy) target in front of him. Unfortunately, she happened to be the target stupid enough to provoke him. His eyebrows pinched together, lips downturned in that dangerous scowl he usually reserved for employees that disappointed him. The dark look in his eyes told her to stop while she was ahead, but she felt the urge to break up some of the tension.

“I didn’t--” His hand rose, and there was no more room for explaining. She gnawed on her gloss covered bottom lip.

“You are without a doubt the most disobedient, infuriating person I’ve ever met. I deal with bikers, drug traffickers, hitmen, all kinds of fucking degenerates and yet no one manages to piss me off more than you.” His hand found its way back to her collarbone, tossing her hair back behind her shoulders.

“I give you everything. Try to treat you like the princess I know you can be, but you insist on being an insolent brat. I give you free reign of this house-- this fucking city, but you have to show up in the one place you shouldn’t. Why is that?” He leaned down to look in her eyes, fingertips ghosting over her neck until she shifted to stare up at him. 

Miguel watched, fascinated as she transformed into the most demure version of herself, one she reserved for times like this when he was really angry. Her arms left her sides to lock around his neck, batting her eyelashes in hopes of a little mercy.

“Don’t act like a good girl now.” He scoffed, enjoying the closeness despite himself. He leaned in to nibble at her neck. “We both know you’re not.” She hisses at the sting, fire back in her eyes as if she was telling him she would bite back.

“You’re a bad bitch, right? A savage— or whatever that damn song you’re always singing says, right? So act like it.” He always acted as if he was annoyed by her mini-concerts, but she knew he was secretly her biggest fan. She bit the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing out loud. He didn’t allow her amusement to distract him. “Get on your knees. Now.”

Back in submissive character, she dropped to her knees.

“Now you listen.” He tsks, hands moving to unbuckle his pants. “Probably because you think there’s something in it for you. Sucking cock is your favorite pastime. Isn’t that right, sucia? You get off on being on your knees but I can promise you, this isn’t for your pleasure.” 

Ava tried her best to look disappointed. No matter what he said, there absolutely was something in it for her. They both knew it. She resisted the urge to help him undress and instead watched him, resting her weight on the backs of her legs. He finally stepped out of his dress pants and underwear, tossing them to the side.

He stood in front of her, stroking his thick cock in her face. Her eyes watched him stroke, back and forth, milking it until precum puddled around the tip. She leaned forward, her lips puckered to give it a kiss, only to be pushed back into position. 

Ava gave him a cross look. “Don’t look at me like that. You don’t decide. I do. It’s time you learned that.” She felt hypnotized as he continued to pump his hard dick. She felt like a puppy, eager, desperately wanting to drool and wag her tongue. Her eyes darted back and forth between his beautiful brown dick and his face, squirming and shifting her knees.

“Open your mouth.” She presented her long, pink tongue to him.

He teased her with the tip at the opening of her mouth, tapping it on her tongue. She begged him with her eyes to continue. 

“Take it as deep as you can.” He used that firm tone that always made her pussy throb, the fat tip invading her mouth. She sighed in relief, her tongue softly massaging the bottom of his dick as she struggled to take it all with no build-up. When he hit the back of her throat, her eyes closed, concentrating on controlling her gag reflex.

He withdrew from her mouth, causing her eyes to snap open. “Look at me while you suck my dick.” Ava nodded in understanding, letting the storm brewing in his eyes egg her on. She let him feed her dick, her eyes trained on his.

More often than not, Miguel was soft with her. She was always mi amor or bebita, perched in his lap while he read the newspaper or holding his hand across the table while they breakfast. He loved to shower her with expensive gifts and lavish trips. In return, she was his oasis. She navigated the duality of her complex man with grace, always managing to be exactly what he needed. Still, she lived for the moments where she could get under his skin.

He groaned as he watched her gag around his dick, water welling up in her pretty eyes. She pushed herself further, thick lips moving up and down his length. Her face alone could do him in-- but the looks she gave, the sounds she made, the way she expressed her love all over his dick had him ready to melt. He could barely breathe from trying to hold his moans in, stroking the top of her head with affection.

Her hands went up to rest on the tops of his legs as she throated him to the best of her ability, moaning and making it as wet as she could. Tasting him, breathing him in, swallowing him, and looking at him all at once overwhelmed her. Her panties flooded, eyes fluttering closed again.

She heard the sound ricocheting off her ass before she felt the sting, hands going back soothe her ass cheek with a whimper. Her mouth fell open in surprise.

“Did I tell you to close your eyes?” 

“No, sir.”

Miguel’s hand gripped her neck firmly.

“Did I tell you to take my dick out of your mouth?”

Another negative. “No--”

“You can’t do anything right.” Her eyebrows pulled together, lips falling into a pout. “Don’t worry, princesa, I’ll do it for you.”

He guided her by the neck, pushing her back towards the door, reaching down to pull her legs from under her, so her head could rest flush against it. The only way his dick would leave her mouth would be if he took it out. 

He used her mouth like a pussy, pumping in and out to soothe his temper. Ava was sure to maintain eye contact this time, even as spit dribbled out of her mouth onto his dick and down her chin. Down it went and Miguel didn’t let up, watching it spill between the valley of her breasts. 

She tracked his eyes, reaching up to pull down her bra straps to free her breasts. He could see the mischief in her eyes as she jiggled them at him.

He slapped her hands away with a grunt, replacing them with his own. He tugged on each nipple, loving the feeling of her moaning around his dick.

Her drenched panties clung uncomfortably to her womanhood. She needed him to take his frustration out on her pussy next.

Tears spilled from the corners of her eyes, but she refused to look away, telling him with her eyes how much she wanted his release. I want that big load so bad. Come all down my throat, daddy. Feed your princess. 

Miguel cursed under his breath, thrusts faltering as he looked up to the ceiling. Relishing in his moment of weakness, she hummed around his length. “Fuck…” He pulled out immediately. “Get up.” He grabbed her up by her shoulders, spinning her so she faced the door. 

He clawed at her panties like a lion with its prey. The mushroom tip poked at her entrance, further coating the tip in the moisture. “You’re so fucking wet.” He slid himself between her fat lips, trying to prepare himself before he came prematurely. 

Ava jumped forward when his tip met her clit. “Stop moving.” He hissed as she rocked back against him, begging to be put out of her misery. His hand rained down smacks in retaliation.

She tired, but couldn’t stop her wiggling, desperately needing relief. She felt near tears. “Please.” She whined.

With a forceful thrust in, he knocked the wind out of her, giving her no time to adjust. “So fucking hardheaded.” Ava bit her lip, turning to look at him only to find his eyes focused on her ass, watching it ripple with each thrust in. 

“Fuck me.” She whimpered, using the door for leverage to push back against him. Ava fucked him the way he liked, making it nasty while looking at him innocently. “I’m sorry for being bad, daddy. I wanna be your good girl again. I wanna be daddy’s princess--” His hand came up to cover her mouth, silencing her before she made him bust. 

“Shut. Up.” He breathed harshly, whispering dirty words in her ear. “Just do your job and fuck me. Shake that fat ass.” No, you do your job and fuck me. She couldn’t talk so she licked the palm of his hand in retaliation.

He rained down slaps on her ass until he could see a red undertone on her brown skin. 

She wailed his name and he did his best to muffle her screams, but there was no doubt everyone in the house knew what they were up to.

“You want everyone to hear you being a desperate slut?” He pounded into her, no longer caring about the sound of her hips thudding against the door. “You’re the most cock-hungry bitch I ever met. You don’t care who knows as long as I pound you the way you like, baby?” 

She tried to deny his accusation, shaking her head. There was always someone around to watch their backs so being heard and occasionally walked in on didn’t bother either of them much. 

But men that worked for Miguel, amongst them his very best friend had seen his wife practically naked. He poured his anger into every stroke, pulling on her hair until it rested on his shoulder. His fingers snaked down to massage her soaking clit, sending her over the edge. 

“Fuckkkkkkkkkk.” She cried out as he continued his assault, more frenzied than ever in his movements. Her legs shook as she tried to remain upright, her pussy walls clenching and pulling him in even deeper. 

“Fuckkkk.” He groaned his own release, strokes slowing as he filled her pussy. 

Ava’s head fell forward out of exhaustion but before she could lose her balance, his arms wrapped around her midsection. He pulled her into him, peppering kisses on her neck, behind her ear, and finally in her fruity smelling hair. 

Even as he held her up soothing her, Ava worried he would hold onto his anger as he sometimes did because of pride. Her worries dissipated when he spoke. 

“I’m definitely the savage in the relationship.”

[shirophantomvox]

A Night on the Town- Hisoka x Illumi (Hisoillu)

What’s up y’all? Per an anon request, here is a Hisoillu story. Hisoka and Illumi go to dinner at a fancy restaurant to talk about a business contract when a single phrase or word causes them to change the subject. This story will see how they stand on their relationship. Are they only meant to be “friends” or more than? “A night on the town” is a British phrase that simply means someone going to a club or hanging out all night long. Boujee is an abbreviation of the French "bourgeois." A critical term used to describe people, things, and places that are definitively high-class. I am going to try my best to keep this in character. They feel comfortable to joke around each other only. I use places like Earth, Mars, and the US because I assume Yorknew is another name for New York. Yes, I mentioned some Voltron elements too. I love crossovers! Enjoy! Feel free to inbox me. FYI, there’s nothing wrong with eating chicken fingers as an adult. I hate steak and haven’t eaten it in over 15 years. Onto the story!

Rain fell from the sky hard as ever. The sound of the raindrops hitting multiple surfaces sounded like quarters hitting metal. Thunder clapped what seemed like every 60 seconds followed by an alarming amount of lightning. The white and red LED lights lit up the sidewalk in front, casting heavenly shadows on just about everyone that made their way in. “La Lune” is a 5 star restaurant located in the heart of Yorknew City. Tons of celebrities have had dinner there! Madonna, Rihanna, Beyonce, and so many more had taken funny photos with the chef and his wife, creating a memorable moment for everyone involved. Many take the atmosphere of this restaurant as something romantic. The lights were dimmed and the tables were lit by candle light. It seemed like everyone was being serenaded by their lover, except for these two of course. Their occasion was something far from being romantic. Both gentlemen agreed to talk about a mission that would require both of their efforts because if one did not agree, the other would parish. This mission drove them mad. Hisoka lost a few days of sleep just thinking about it!

You see, one of the country’s best space explorers has been running rampant through the streets. These students attended the Galaxy Garrison, a space college and were launched into space. While trying to bring back samples from Kerberos, they were attacked by aliens (known as the Galra), kept in another dimension, and once they returned they began to inflict pain on Earthlings just like how the Galra did to them. These students must have been experimented on because they possessed power that no Nen user could defeat.

Both gentlemen walked to the hostess desk and waited for their attention. Hisoka’s hair was covering part of his eyes. Many people found him attractive; so attractive that people would nudge him on the arm and mimic a “call me” motion with their fingers. What was it about him that people would just swoon over? Illumi stood behind Hisoka with his hands in his pants pocket, impatiently waiting to be seated. You can’t discuss aliens and brats on an empty stomach.

“How may I help you?’” The hostess smiled big as she cupped her hands waiting for his response. Her teeth were pearly white, almost appearing to be fake. But one thing was off about this woman. She stared mighty hard at his face and continued to smile. She seemed robotic. A smile appeared on his face as well; he swore she was undressing him with her eyes.

“Reservation for Gittarackur~♠?” Hisoka nearly said Illumi’s name instead.

“Right this way.”

She led them through a series of staircases and made her way to the rooftop. This building wasn’t too tall, but it was high enough. The roof was decorated with red table umbrellas, glass tables, candles, and hanging LED lights.

This is a little too romantic, Illumi. What gives?

She handed them the menu and walked away. Illumi looked to his right and left to ensure no one was close enough to hear what he was going to say. But before he could say anything, Hisoka opened his mouth and began to make unnecessary comments that got under Illumi’s skin.

“You tend to pick the restaurants with a noticeable romantic atmosphere. Care to tell~♥.?”

Illumi pressed his lips together.

“I do not pay attention to the atmosphere. I pay attention to good ratings and decent prices.”

“Oh! So, you’re a cheap date~♠!”

“This isn’t a date, Hisoka. We are talking about a mission that if it gets out of control, the whole human race will cease to exist as we know it.”

A waitress came over, introduced herself, and offered them a bottle of wine.

Did you plan this, Illumi?

Of course they accepted! Rosé was Hisoka’s go-to. The wine mellowed him out, made him more relaxed and bearable. He placed his thin fingers and sharp nails around the wide-mouth glass and sipped his drink. He smiled as Illumi disclosed more details of the mission.

“What are you saying, Illumi? I’m afraid I do not understand~♠.”

“Listen carefully. These groups of young adults have been experimented on by the Galra. Since their return, they've been stealing, beating, and even killing innocent people. Their excuse for this is by saying that “those people were bad people” based on rumors they’ve heard. They’re a menace to society, not to mention extremely dangerous. For the first time in 22 years, I’m a little worried.”

The waitress came back to take their order. Hisoka had never tried a streak before, so that is what he ordered. Illumi, the picky eater on the other hand, ordered an adult size of chicken fingers and fries. Hisoka gave him the shittiest look of the century. He placed his large hand over his face as he humiliatingly closed his eyes. Illumi squinted trying to ignore Hisoka’s stupid reactions.

“What’s the matter?”

“You embarrass me, Illumi~♠.”

“How?! What did I do?”

“We’re at a nice, romantic restaurant and all you order is chicken fingers, fries, and ranch?! Ma’am could you give us a moment~♠?”

“Absolutely.” Poor girl. Why did she have to witness that?

“What’s your problem, Hisoka?”

“You could have at least ordered the steak, salad, or both! Look around you! You’re going to be the laughing stock of this town! Try strawberry vinaigrette~♠!”

“Well, excuse me, Mr. Boujee! Chicken fingers are delicious and anyone can order them! Why would I order salad when I have lettuce at home?”

“Because it’s good for you~♠!”

“Salad doesn’t fill me up and neither does strawberry vinaigrette!”

They began to talk about the mission again. Illumi hid his fear behind his resting bitch face, but he didn’t know if he truly wanted to go through with this mission or not.

“I’m feeling cautious.”

“What for? I’m sure you can handle it~♣.”

“I can’t. I don't even think my grandfather can beat them.”

“Why so?” Hisoka drank from his glass again. Illumi did not disclose much info because he knew how Hisoka becomes when he’s tipsy. He begins to laugh and talk too much.

“They have an ability that can wipe out a Nen user within seconds.”

“Oh~♥?”

“Yes. They can disappear in the blink of an eye, they have this purple electricity shooting from their hands, and these specific men I see with gray masks that remind me of a plague doctor. They have no faces and they’re purple. Once that electricity hits you, it’s game over. They have the ability to determine if it's fatal or not.”

“Ouch. What’s the plan~♣?”

“Someone that I used to know will infiltrate the base that they’re hiding in. It will be difficult because they guard it but that is when my needles will come in handy.”

“But you didn’t have to cut me off…~♣” Hisoka sang.

“What? What was that, that you did just then?” Illumi was serious. This was no time to be joking around.

“What? I just finished what you started~♣.”

“What did I start?”

“You said ‘someone that I used to know’ and I responded ‘but you didn’t have to cut me off’. Don’t tell me you’re not aware of that song~♣.”

Hisoka smiled something softer than usual and laughed at Illumi’s clueless look. This was something he adored about him; the carelessness made him laugh so hard that he forgot about his troubles...if he had any.

“I understand why you brought me here to talk about stopping the Galra, but let’s enjoy this moment. Just you and I~♥.”

“Why? They are dangerous. They could be planning on destroying us as we speak.”

“You worry too much. Besides, everyone knows of your talent and even if they seem more powerful, I’m sure they’re keeping their distance from you.”

“I thought you’d be overjoyed at this opportunity. You can finally put those chrome cards to play.”

“Who said I wasn’t? I am but I’ve learned to hide my arousal rather well~♥.”

“You didn’t hide it well just a few seconds ago.”

“Touché’. But I was not talking about fighting then, I was talking about you~♥.”

“Hmm.” Illumi didn’t know what to say but one thing is for sure. Many, many feelings and thoughts clouded his mind and body but he didn’t know how to respond to them. He has known Hisoka for some time now and he knew of his ways; if he would just tell him how he felt, he might be surprised by his reaction. Hisoka has flirted and with him several times but for some reason he felt like if he responded he may not get a desired response.

Hisoka began to chuckle, more of a tipsy chuckle. He couldn’t hold back his laughter as he noticed how Illumi’s attitude began to change. Illumi immediately placed his wine glass on the table and squinted in confusion.

“What’s so funny, now?” He sounded a bit irritated but deep inside he was happy he asked.

“You’re blushing~♥.”

“What?”

Damn.

Was it that noticeable?

Sure was.

“I’m good! I never thought that I could make the oldest son of the Zoldyck family blush from my passes. That’s an achievement for me. So tell me Illu, do you dream about me too~♥?”

“Be quiet, would you?”

The magician couldn’t help but to release a hearty laugh so loud that people began to glance in their direction. Illumi frowned and crouched low towards the table.

“Stop it. People are staring.”

“What? I love it when people stare. That means I look good~♥.”

Hisoka continued to laugh. To add to Illumi’s social demise, he stood up from his chair, took a photo on his phone and captioned it: “Best date ever♦”.

“Don’t send that!”

“Oops. Sorry not sorry,” Hisoka gloated covering his mouth. “Guess you’ll have to catch me~♥.”

He continued to laugh but his laughter slowly began to come to a halt and wired down. Now he laid his head on the table, slightly drooling. Illumi decided that he had enough excitement for the night, so he threw three pins in his right leg, which was conveniently under the table. Hisoka had hinted earlier that he would be fine if Illumi ever made that decision. Following behind him for his entire life would be to die for. Illumi smiled as he looked at the man before him, finally silent.

“This might actually work,” he whispered to himself.

The moonlight casted a shadow on him as he admired the star on the sleeping magician’s face.

[pinkykitten]

Shy Love

Neil Melendez x female! reader

Genre: comedy, angst, prompt, romance, fluff 

Words: 2,304 (ok where did she come out of ?)

Request: By anon Could you do a Melendez x reader oneshot where at the hospital he’s the most shy person he’s ever seen but he happened to see her out and she’s totally different like loud and reckless and stuff, and he can’t decide which side of her he loves more and confesses

and another anon hiii idk if you’re taking requests but if you could do a neil melendez x reader fic w/ angst prompts 7 and 11 I’d be the happiest!!! (like mostly angst but ending with fluff if that makes sense)

Prompts: 7 -  “you should’ve said that yesterday.” 11 -  “it’s over, it’s done, just leave it be.”

Authors Note: MiX iT aLl ToGeThEr AnD yOu KnOw ThAt It’S tHe BeSt Of BoTh WoRlDSs!!!!!!! if you didnt get by the song i mixed two requests cuz why not but this one has a lot to do w walmart and like its funny and silly but then super angsty and gets rlly in the feels,,like its a whole lot but i love my boo sm he is lemonade

“Y/N, how would you like to join us? We’re going to the bar when our shift is over,” Neil asked you with dreamy eyes. His hand resting on your shoulder. Neil was always trying to bring you out of your shell and make you associate with your coworkers. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to gather with your workmates its you were shy around them. With your friends from your hometown they knew how odd you were and would never judge you or dislike you but all these doctors you knew were way more mature than you. They had their life figured out and you were worried they wouldn’t like the real you and who you really are. 

You grabbed all your books that you were going to study that night for a patient of yours and carried your bag. “Thanks for the invite, but I think I’m going to call it a night.” You said with a small voice, thanking him with a kiss on the cheek. 

“You sure?” Neil smirked.

You waved, “bye Neil.”

Neil shook his head at you declining his offer. All he wanted was to have a night out with you. He wanted to get to know you better.

As you stepped out of the hospital your phone buzzed with a call. You chuckled as you saw the caller ID display your friend and roommate's name. 

“Yes, Janelle?” 

“Girl, meet me at Walmart! They got the good stuff you like so much on sale.” She was sparking with such enthusiasm for something so mellow. 

Giggling you put your friend on speaker as you started your car, “I think you’re the only person I know that gets excited for Walmart.”

“I thought since you’re always so busy-”

You rolled your e/c eyes, “here we go again! Always the same topic of conversation. I’m sorry I’m over here saving lives!”

“I’m just saying I barely see you anymore. I miss you. I want to know whats going on with your life. Any guys? Lets just hang out for a little bit, please.” 

You felt bad, your friend sounded lonely and you could go for some best friend advice and love at this moment. “Sure, why not? I’m coming over! Order me something from McDonald’s okay? I’m starving.”

Janelle laughed loudly on the other end.

The burger hit the spot of your hunger. You licked your lips and wiped your fingers. 

“Do you think we need more of this?” Janelle pulled out the coffee creamer from the milk aisle. 

“Yes,” you said with a definite answer. “You drank all of the other one?”

Janelle looked at you bashfully, “oops, that was me?”

“Oops, that was me?” You repeated sarcastically. “Of course that was you. I barely get to drink coffee creamers anymore. I now drink that dark stuff at work.”

“Right, work. So how’s that Melendez doctor?”

You almost choked right there. People were eyeing you as you playfully slapped your friend in embarrassment. “Janelle! What if he’s here?”

“Honey, he probably shops at Whole Foods not at some Walmart, okay. Besides why are you so secretive about him?”

You waved your hands in front of your face to try hide your bashful expression, “Because, he’s so handsome and more mature than me. He has his whole life figured out. I’m still living off of Ramen while he probably eats with Beyonce!”

“Oh, someone has a crush! And he’s rich!”

You put bread in the cart and almost knocked the cart into an old woman, “Just because he may be rich, Janelle, doesn’t mean that’s the most important thing. But yes, Neil Melendez may be rich.” 

Your best friend and wing girl squealed louder than a pig. “Oh my God! You like him! You like him! You like him! Why don’t you just ask him out then? You are so pretty, he’d probably say yes.”

“That’s the problem. He may say yes. It’s not definite. I’m, I’m too afraid. It doesn’t matter. We are just coworkers he’s my boss and we have a professional relationship, nothing more.”

“Alright, I won’t push it anymore.” Janelle grew a big, evil, smile on her face. She skipped behind you and pushed you in the shopping cart. 

You screamed loud and whipped your head around to her, “what are you doing Janelle?”

“You’re too stressed out Y/N. Let loose. It’s time we have fun.” Janelle didn’t even give you enough time to interject because she was already speeding down the shopping lanes. She pushed you faster and faster. 

At first you were afraid but then the adrenaline got to you and you started laughing. She poured chip bags and bags of marshmallows on you to replicate rain. She twirled the cart and your cheery cackles were heard through out the whole store. 

This is what you meant. You could be a silly willy with your best friend and people that knew you. But you were too shy and afraid to reveal your fun self to others but more to Neil. You were frightened he would say you were too stupid for him or that you were not serious enough. Neil meant so much to you that you were always shy around him. You liked him so much and you never wanted to jeopardize your relationship you have with him. 

What you didn’t know was Neil did indeed shop at Walmart and he was doing some last minute shopping. 

He was peering at a bag of pistachios when he could of sworn he heard your shrieks. He paid no attention to it at first until he heard your voice nearby. It couldn’t have been you! No, not shy, flustered, Y/N. Neil turned the corner and was met with the surprise of you dancing in the shopping cart. He was a bit confused. You were always shy around him when Neil would talk and hang out with you. It was a complete 180. Who was this person? He couldn’t help but smile. You looked so adorable and cute having fun. You were being a ball of excitement. So different than how he knew you or what he thought he knew. He loved how sweet you were when you were shy but you seemed more happy now. He loved the real you. Neil even found himself getting jealous. Why didn’t you show your true, inner self to him? Were you afraid of him? He wanted to know everything about you and he felt like he didn’t know you at all. His smile started to disappeared. Neil didn’t think. Before he knew it he was making his way towards you and your roommate. 

“Hello Y/N,” Neil created a fake grin. 

You were completely horrified. Your heart pounded vigorously. Was he watching you this whole time? He probably thought you were being absurd. At once all the nerves consumed you. You became speechless. You were so embarrassed! You quickly hopped out of the cart and sheepishly put your hands behind your back. “H-hey Doctor Melendez. I didn’t know you shop here?”

“It’s Walmart. I hope I can shop here.”

Your eyes bugged out of your head. 

“What my friend means is that you look rich and so handsome that we suspected you might shop at places like Whole Foods and what not.” Janelle saved your butt.

Neil chuckled, “no, I need my junk food.” He then eyed you. “Saw you having fun here.”

You looked down, scared for his talk. 

“Why don’t I ever see this side of you? I think you should let that fire out more at work in front of all of us. I think its cute.” He winked at you as he walked away. 

“Oh my God Janelle,” you fell against the cart, leaning against it. “I think I just died. That was so embarrassing!”

Janelle danced around you, “are you serious? He said you were cute! Agh, I wish a guy would say that about me!”

“I’m so glad that’s over.”

It wasn’t over. Far from it.

Neil couldn’t sleep that night. He was angry and jealous. He wanted to start a relationship with you but he didn’t even know who you were. How was it going to work? He didn’t understand why you kept who you were away from him? Do you hate him that much?

Neil paged you and texted you that he needed to discuss something with you, asap the next day at work.

Your bones shook like a tree. You were more than nervous, you were petrified. Was this about the fiasco at Walmart or was this something more? Neil meant so much to you, you didn’t want to ruin what you two already had. 

You knocked on the door to a vacant room. You saw Neil sitting at the table through the glass windows. 

“Come in,” he said loud for you to hear. 

You walked in slowly. 

“Please sit.”

You sat, biting your lip. You played with your fingers awaiting the blow. 

“I just want to say I appreciate you taking time out of your busy schedule to meet with me but I wanted to discuss something that’s been bothering me.”

“Yes.”

“I thought I knew you. I don’t know why but when I saw you having fun yesterday my heart hurt. It’s weird to explain.” Neil rubbed his temples, clearly this was effecting him. “I fell asleep that night thinking about you.”

“About me?” You felt flustered. 

Neil heard how that sounded and quickly tried to save himself from the grave he dug himself, “please, let me rephrase that. What I mean is, I know you for being this quiet, shy woman and who I saw yesterday was this outspoken, fun, burst of fire. Why is there such a change?”

You were afraid he was going to bring it up. You felt hot. You weren’t really sure how you were going to respond. “I don’t know.” You became shy. 

“I just don’t understand why you are so...afraid of me? Have I done something to scare you?”

“It’s not you okay,” you were becoming overwhelmed. Why did he have to bring up something you were insecure about? Why couldn’t he just let it go? “It’s me. I just I don’t-”

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I just want a complete honest answer. I don’t want you to dislike me. Please tell me what happened.”

You wanted to shut out everything. You were self conscious of your personality. You felt like crying. You stared at your hands and wanted to be sucked in a hole. Your lips trembled as a tear fell.

Neil saw that and felt like a monster. “I’m sorry Y/N. I didn’t mean to-”

You wiped your tears away and stood up, “You said enough. It’s over, it’s done, just leave it be.” You were about to leave but entered the room again. “I’m insecure about myself and I don’t like the real me. I’m afraid you won’t like who I am because I really like you Neil. I hide because who I really am is this crazy, reckless person. I’m sorry I hurt your feelings. I’m sorry I’m weird.” You walked away leaving Neil feeling defeated and hating himself because all he wanted to do was tell you how he truly felt. 

It was the next day and you were swallowed up in your blanket, eating ice cream and watching rom cons that were too good to be true. You felt hollow. You thought you maybe had a chance with Neil but he hated you and found you unattractive. 

Janelle came in with a guilty look on her face, “it’s okay babes.” She hugged you tight. “If he doesn’t love you then he doesn’t deserve you because you are a gorgeous thing.” She smiled trying to make you laugh. 

You chuckled weakly and cried into Janelle’s shoulder feeling like a glob rather than a person. “I even told him how I felt.”

There was a knock at the door. “I’ll get it.” You slipped on your slippers and walked around the apartment gloomy. You opened the door and standing there was Neil holding a bouquet of roses. “Oh its you.” You threw the door in his face. 

“Please Y/N I really need to talk to you.”

Janelle turned you around like a mother, “go talk to him. Now.”

You groaned as you met with Neil’s body. “What do you want?”

“I wanted to apologize for the way I acted towards you yesterday. It was wrong and I am very sorry. I was being stupid. I was jealous because I wanted you to be yourself around me. I wanted to know how adorable you act and I want to push you in a cart. I want to have those fun moments with you because you are special Y/N. You have this beautiful, amazing personality that lights up the room and that makes me feel giddy. I’m a complete idiot for treating you like how I did but Y/N I like you. I like you a lot. I would love to take you on a date like a gentleman because you deserve the best. These are for you.” He handed you the roses. 

You were speechless, mouth agape as you stared at this man completely smitten with you and confessing. You smelled the roses and smiled, “they smell amazing. Thank you.”

“Phew, I’m glad you liked them because I was really nervous you were allergic or something-”

You pulled Neil’s collar and gave him a big kiss. It was sensual and perfect. It wasn’t too quick but not too long. Both lips moved in perfect sync. “You should’ve said that yesterday.”

“I really should of if I was going to get that outcome.”

Janelle started clapping in the background like a victorious warrior. “Amazing! So when’s the wedding?”

(ENDING A/N: i’m not sponsored by walmart sAdly i swear hhhhh)

Tag list: @harrington-lover​​, @angelgl16​​, @perfectlybeautifulsuit​​, @hyehoney​​, @haven-prelude (wont let me tag), @leasly​​​, @totally-alexa21​​, @creamy-pasta-boi​​, @multireese​​, @fanfictionrecommendations-com​​, @prentisskelley​​, @malereaderforkpop (wont let me tag), @guardian-of-cookies, @justafangirl-97​​, @teenageshitposts (wont let me tag), @dippergravity (wont let me tag), @some-booty, @fromfoolishpeopletodeadpeople​​, @collectiveyou​​, @wtfisalltherandoms​​, @dirbel​​, @eastcoasthaven​​, @fangirl-4-life415 (wont let me tag), @melonreblogsstories​​​​, @fandomchick80​

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[monaisme]

One Week Later - Chapter Four

This is the sequel to my one-shot, “The Battle”

Going through a magical portal was definitely one way to distract from the nerves borne of having to step back into one’s life five years later and all the chaos that came with it.

The portal didn’t seem like a big deal after the fact, especially after spending the last days watching the successful use of them as those remaining in Wakanda were reunited with family and friends. It didn’t stop Peter’s brain from wondering for a quick second how Wong’s magic worked—if he was really just stepping through or if there was more to it?—Like the transporters in Star Trek. Maybe that ring he’d been wearing contained technology that manipulated the particulate in the atmosphere and—

His train of thought derailed as Mr. Stark finally came through the portal and the circle shrunk and fizzled away into nothing.

“Well,” he announced as he glanced back at the vanished means of entry, “That wasn’t my flashiest entrance, but it’ll do.”

Mrs. Stark rolled her eyes and stepped up to give him a kiss. “Yes, dear, whatever you say.” She teased as she caressed his cheek. “That exit, though...” She gave her husband a playful wink and then patted his face. “The Divine Miss M would be proud.”

Mr. Stark smirked, “Yeah, Wong will definitely pay for that later.” He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her closer then planted a soft kiss on her lips. He mumbled, “I’m so glad we’re home.”

Peter had watched as they did their flirting thing, but mention of home had him looking away pretty quick. He fought to tamp down his discomfort.

Five years ago, Mr. Stark had been freshly engaged and behaving exactly how Mr. Stark was expected to behave, all snark and sarcasm with the occasional emotional outburst.

And Mrs. Stark was, well—she was Pepper Potts, but not just Pepper Potts. She was Ms. Potts; CEO to Stark Industries, #1 on the Forbes list of “100 Most Powerful Women” in 2017, and MJ had just told him—he sighed as he mentally corrected himself, MJ had told him five years ago that she was creeping up on Oprah and Beyonce in terms of net worth. He’d met her a few times when she’d stop by the lab to make sure Mr. Stark was drinking more than just coffee and consuming actual food—not just the mystery smoothies Dum-E would make for him on occasion. She’d been intimidating, but always polite and kind and left the lab with a smile for Peter and a peck on the cheek for Mr. Stark.

And while he’d been stuck in that stone? Mr. Stark and Ms. Potts had gotten married, built a home... moved on, and here he was— Peter was getting tired again just thinking of it.

Five years later was weird.

Peter scuffed his toe against the floor, unintentionally drawing attention to himself.

Mr. Stark straightened the two of them up and turned to him immediately, making sure to grab his wife’s hand. “Yeah.” It was Mr. Stark’s turn to blush. “Sorry about that. I guess we’re all a little relieved to be back, right? We can finally get back to normal?”

Peter chuckled quietly and shrugged as he refused to look up at the pair. “I guess?” He replied, but in his head, he knew better.

“Well,” The pair moved closer to him and Mr. Stark put a supportive arm around his shoulder. “I’m not even going to ask what you want to do, kid.” Mr. Stark stated as he turned Peter around and started walking him through the living room of the penthouse, “but before we figure out when you can see May, I need to know if an in person visit is even in the cards for today. I’ll just pop down to the med bay and have a quick chat with the doctor and—“

Peter didn’t think before he stopped moving and the words fell out of his mouth, all desperate and pleading. “Can’t I just come with you?” Mr. Stark was opening his mouth to say no, Peter was sure of it, so he kept going, “I don’t even need to talk to her! I’ll stay back and out of the way and everything. Please? I just want to see her.”

Mr. Stark couldn’t hide the sadness in his eyes. “Pete, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

But Peter was determined. “But it’s May, Mr. Stark!” He begged. “And you can’t tell me she hasn’t missed me, I mean, it’s been five years for her and I know she’d want to see me—“

“Kid, that has nothing to do with it. I promise. You know what your aunt is like.” Mr. Stark seemed to hunt for his next words, “She’s a beast in the best possible way—but now? She’s not, and the last thing she’d want is for you to see her... less than one hundred percent because then she’ll get upset that you’re worrying about her and then you’ll end up getting upset and none of us want that either, do we?”

Peter tried to keep the disappointment out of his voice. “No. I get it, that’s cool. Just...” He trailed off before he said something stupid. He understood. He’d heard the doctor only a couple of hours earlier and he knew he couldn’t just go running into the med bay to throw himself at Aunt May. Stuff was going on and he wasn’t going to get in the way of it.

“Let’s give her chance to put on her game face, okay?”

“Okay.” Peter couldn’t have sounded more glum if he’d tried. He hated this.

“Hey, kid,” Mr. Stark pulled him into an awkward side hug as they all started walking again. “I promise you, we’ll get this sorted, but here’s what we’re gonna do. First, we’re gonna get you set up in your room,” they turned down into a hallway beyond the living room, “so you can take a nice, long shower—wash off all of those teenager cooties you’ve been sporting.” Mr Stark ruffled Peter’s hair as he attempted to lighten the mood. “Then, by the time you’re done, I’ll be back with all the information we need so we can make a plan, alright?”  

Peter nodded even though he wanted nothing more than to disagree with everything Mr. Stark was suggesting and make a break for the med bay. This wasn’t how things were supposed to be. Five years ago, he was supposed to help get the gauntlet and then come home and train with the Avengers after May grounded him forever... and now, even his freaking homecoming was wrong. He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to deal with all of this.  

Mr. Stark steered him through a doorway and stopped. “So, kid. Tell me what you’re thinking.”

Peter blinked, confused. “Um, what—?“

“You’re room, buddy, what do you think?” Mr. Stark gestured into the room they were now standing in. “We tried to make it exactly like your old one... got FRIDAY to...”

Peter tuned Mr. Stark out as he stepped further into what was definitely a space meant for him. Now that he was paying attention, it took a second to know that he was in the exact same room Mr. Stark had put aside for his use before half of the universe disa—

It was like a needle scratching across a record in his brain. NO.

He needed to change the thoughts in his brain—wished it was as easy to do for himself as it was for the schematics laying about the lab... a swipe of the hand and BOOM, a fresh start—the lab he hadn’t been in for five years because he was trapped in a stone.

NO. He scolded himself again and clenched his fists tight; thrust them into the pockets of his sweatpants as he tried to reframe it. He needed to make it something else before Mr. Stark ended up looking at him that pitying way again. 

Okay.

It was the same room Mr. Stark had put aside for his use on those nights when they’d goof around with Mr. Stark’s tech until stupid late and then the two of them would fight over whether 80s horror movies were the superior movie genre when anyone with real taste knew that Star Wars and all things sci-fi was where it was at.

Yeah, that was better. He could do this.

He tried to relax his shoulders as he took in some of the details.

Peter was grateful that the room itself smelled as fresh and clean as the last time he’d been in it. The laundry detergent used to wash his bedding was even the same. His posters were on the walls and his books were back on the tiny bookshelf by the desk set up next to the wide expanse of window. The pens, papers, books, and even an unfinished lego project he’d left upon it during his last weekend were sitting in a box, waiting to be unpacked.

It was almost exactly where it was all supposed to be.

Almost.

And then—

Peter remembered an April Fool’s Day when he and Ned had been little. It had fallen on a Saturday, which of course meant a sleepover for the two new friends and, while May and Ben slept on, the boys had decided to be as diabolical as six year olds could be. It had taken all of three minutes, for all of the giggles and impromptu pillow fight, but they’d switched all of the red throw cushions from the couch with the brown throw cushions from the two armchairs in the living room. The cutlery tray in the kitchen was given the same treatment before Peter and Ned were satisfied with their first ever attempt at foolery.  

It was insanity, and May and Ben were absolutely baffled at how something so strange could have happened while they slept!

Peter smiled sadly at the memory as he realized this was that moment, except it wasn’t a goofy prank by two silly kids. It was like everything in the room was six inches to the left and Peter was supposed to be confused that something wasn’t quite right—

Nothing was right.

He wondered if this would be the thing that pushed him over the edge.

“Pete?” Mr. Stark asked again, softer this time and laced with an undertone of concern.

He closed his eyes for a moment then pasted a smile on his face. “It’s great, Mr. Stark.” He turned to face him, hoped he’d buy the ruse. “You wouldn’t know that anything was different except that my desk is finally tidy.”

Mr. Stark chuckled, “Look, kid, I know it’s not quite ri—“

“No! It’s absolutely fine!” Peter couldn’t allow him to acknowledge the imperfection of it or he’d lose it. “I hadn’t even thought about... this. It’s just like I left it,” he lied.

Mr. Stark wasn’t convinced. Peter could see it on his face. “Peter? Tell me what’s going on in your head. I can see that something is—“

“No.” Yup. He really needed to not be talking about it, “Everything’s great... this is great, Mr. Stark, thanks so much for doing this for me.” Peter then looked behind him to Mrs. Stark still standing in the hallway. “And you, too, Mrs. Stark. I’ll try really hard to not be irritating while I’m here.” He kept that same fake grin going, hoped for the best.

And then Peter put an arm around Mr. Stark and ushered him toward the door.

Mr. Stark pushed back a little, making his desire to stay obvious. “Pete? What are you doing?”

“Just what you asked, Mr. Stark. I’m gonna jump in a shower now and get ready for the day.” He’d gotten Mr. Stark one step into the hallway when the man pulled free of Peter’s unintentional restraint, turned around and braced himself in the door frame.

“Peter, stop.” He tried to catch Peter’s eye. “What’s going on?”

The question stopped Peter cold in his tracks. He was absolutely not prepared to answer the question. “What do you mean? I just said—“ He glanced over his shoulder back into the room. “Everything’s great.”

“Yeah, Pete, I hear you. You keep saying it. It’s great, but that’s not what I’m picking up here.” His voice held nothing but concern and he stepped closer to Peter. “Do you want to try again?”

And his plan had failed in all of one minute.

Dammit.

An unexpected anger flared, “No, I really don’t.” He hadn’t yelled, but he was a near thing. “Can I please just take a shower now?” He tugged at the sweatshirt that wasn’t his, stalked toward the dresser he’d yet to inspect and pulled open the drawer that thankfully held his t-shirts. He’d hoped it would be enough of a cue that Mr. Stark needed to leave, but that was apparently too much to ask.

“Peter, c’mon. I need to know what’s going on in that genius brain of yours. Do you want to talk? Do we need to change something about the room?”

“NO! It’s already changed enough!” Peter snapped. He grabbed his favourite shirt and slammed the drawer shut with enough force that the dresser hit the wall behind it with a crash. 

Mrs. Stark gasped at the outburst, bringing Peter back to himself.

He froze where he stood, his ears flushed with embarrassment at the loss of control-- being caught out. “Shit. I’m so sorry,” he whispered.

Mr. Stark stood silent as he waited for Peter to settle down, Mrs. Stark coming to stand beside her husband as the tension hung thick in the air.

And never before had he wanted Mr. Stark to leave him alone so badly.

“I think I need... can I just have a minute, please?” He whispered and fidgeted with the shirt in his hands.

“Peter, I don’t think we should--” his words cut off.

Mrs. Stark put a hand on Mr. Stark’s arm, effectively stopping him in his tracks. “Tony, wait a minute.” She gave Mr. Stark a ‘look,’ “It’s been a long week, and an especially difficult day for Peter. You go check in at the med bay while I check in with the others and give him a chance to catch his breath.” She addressed Peter next. “Does that sound like a good idea?”

Mr. Stark opened his mouth to protest, “But—”

Mrs. Stark didn’t bother to hide her glare. “I’m sorry. Did I pose that as a question?”

Even Peter knew from that tone that CEO Ms. Potts—um, Mrs. Stark was coming out to play, so he wasn’t surprised when Mr. Stark grumbled out a petulant ‘no.’

“Good.” She turned to Peter next, spoke kindly. “You take all the time you need, honey. I can’t imagine we’ll be longer than a half hour, but if you need more time than that, then you take it. We’ll meet up in the living room when we all finish. Does that sound good to you?”

Peter nodded a ‘yes,’ though he still refused to look at either of them.

She smiled, like the last minutes of Peter’s tantrum hadn’t happened, then continued. “Perfect. We’ll get out of your hair.”

She made to steer Mr. Stark out of the room, but he again stopped and turned to address his mentee. “Hey—“

But Peter refused to look at the man.

Mr. Stark tried again, “Hey, buddy. Listen to me. No one is mad. Okay?” He seemed to grapple with finding the right words for a second and then went on. “We all know this is messed up and no is going to blame you for not knowing how to react—but you have to talk to us okay?”

Peter couldn’t bring himself to respond.

Mr. Stark sighed, seemingly giving up on the moment. Peter glanced up, thinking he’d watch them walking out the door, but blinked in surprise at Mr. Stark waiting patiently for him to look up.

“If you need anything... if you need me, you let FRIDAY know and she’ll get me. Understood?”

Peter did nod at that, but kept quiet.

Mr. Stark sniffed and then cleared his throat. “Good. Go take your shower, sweetheart. We’ll see you in the living room when you’re done.” Peter thought he’d reach out to hug him, but he held himself back and Peter wasn’t sure how he felt about that. Instead, Mr. Stark grasped Mrs. Stark’s hand, gave Peter a wink and a nod, and the two of them left.

He waited a few seconds, listened for the concerned voices talking about giving him time to die away in the hall and then sighed in relief.

Finally.

Peter was alone for the first time since, well, he guessed five years ago. 

He stopped the thoughts again. It was too much, and he had thirty minutes to pull himself together, so that’s what he was going to do.

* * * * * *

Peter took a couple of minutes to be still and hoped it would be enough to get through whatever came next.

It wasn’t.

He did the breathing exercises MJ had taught the decathlon team before that huge meet against Bronx School of Science.

Maybe that took the edge of a little?

Finally, Peter gave up, realizing that it wasn’t going to matter what he did, at least for now. He just needed to get up and move.

And so he did.

He grabbed the rest of his clothes from the dresser, consciously ignoring the drywall dust on the floor behind it, and stepped into the ensuite.

FRIDAY had already started the shower knowing that Peter’s preferences wouldn’t have changed, so he stripped and stepped under the hot spray. He closed his eyes and counted his breathing again, but now that he’d moved from the quiet of his room, the urgency to get done and get to the living room started pressing on him.

He could do this. Whatever the world had in store for him, he’d manage. He’d done the whole starting over thing before, after all and hiding from it wasn’t going to change anything.

He wiped the water away from his face and grabbed the bottle of shampoo from the shelf, smiling to himself as he recognized the brand and scent on the label. He wanted to be quick, but he sound of the water beating against the ceramic tile and the soothing fragranced steam relaxed him more than he’d anticipated.

Maybe he’d be alright?

After a few more minutes of luxuriating in the heat, Peter finished washing up and stepped out to dry himself off, not bothering to do anything special with his curls. He slipped on his boxers then his jeans, keeping the towel around his neck so his hair wouldn’t drip everywhere. He finished off with one last vigorous scrub and tossed the towel into the hamper behind the door. He grabbed his shirt and pulled it over his head, took a deep breath to center himself and caught a whiff of it...

He wondered how quickly Happy had been able to pull his stuff out of storage and how many times his clothing had been washed and washed and washed... all to try and get rid of that musty, unused smell that clings to old, discarded clothing. Except that the clothes hadn’t been outgrown or discarded—and below the layers of wash after wash he could still tell with his stupid enhanced senses that all that Peter was before was that stink of age and neglect.

An unnatural calm settled upon him as he pulled the shirt down from his face and left the bathroom.

He grabbed forgotten socks from another dresser drawer and sat himself on the bed to get them on.

He realized he’d get no reprieve from all of the reminders, and wondered why he wasn’t more upset.

It didn’t matter, though.

He looked at the clock on his bedside table. He’d already taken forty minutes and needed to get out to the living room. Mr. and Mrs. Stark were waiting—

And Peter figured that after five years, they’d waited long enough.

[tjlikesprettythings]

Joshua Tree Playlist-A Macriley Fic

So I’ve done it again, not sure what’s wrong with me or where this came from but enjoy my obsession. Thanks for the motivation and support from my other posts. I’m still waiting for my invite from Ao3 but wanted to share this monster with you guys. 

This fic was inspired by music that I thought fit the general tone of this story, so I decided to make a spotify playlist linked Joshua Tree Playlist hence the name. Now of course you guys don’t have to listen to it, I know we all have different preferences, but I would recommend listening to the last song by Dylan Schneider “Wannabe” so you get the full context of what I was trying to write. I also mention the songs that I recommend listening to. Well anyways Enjoy and do let me know what you think!

This is very long, just a heads up! Please let me know if I should continue writing. 

Joshua Tree Playlist

Chapter 1: Day 1

Mac sat on the deck after his run, another sleepless night. The nightmares felt more and more real each day. Looking out on the early morning LA skyline he felt like a stranger in his own life. There was so much anger in him that he didn’t know what to do with himself. The loss, the tragedy that was his life felt like a weight he couldn’t bear. He’d give anything to go back to that pressure chamber in Georgia again instead of this, at least things made sense then. He was spiralling, he was aware. Scrubbing his hands across his face he let another breath pass. He didn’t hear her coming but saw her shapely bronze legs standing in front of him dressed in khaki shorts and a black singlet one hand holding a backpack and the other on her hip. It was definitely early for her to be up, especially on an off day. 

He raised an eyebrow at her, “what’s up Riles?” 

“Get up, we’re going on a trip.” She simply said swinging the backpack at his feet. 

“What?” he was confused by the situation unfolding in front of him, maybe he was dreaming? 

She turned to walk back into the house, “You heard me Macgyver, get your ass in the car in 5!”

He stood up and swiped the backpack off the floor and chased after her. She was already in the truck sunglasses pulled down with her arm out of the window, fingers drumming against the door. “Riley.”

She nodded her head in the direction of the car, “come on, we haven’t got all day! Get in!”

He could have stood his ground but honestly, he was too tired to argue with her. So he threw his backpack in the back and got into the passenger seat. She started the car and connect her phone to the Bluetooth, a playlist called Joshua Tree Playlist that was curated by Riley Davis came on the on-screen deck. He discovered that Riley didn’t just listen to Beyonce, old school rap, and rock. Her music like her was multifaceted and ranged from what you’d expect to complete surprises. He even walked in on her listening to Harry Styles to which she had just shrugged and simply said “I’m confident in myself to like what I like, besides watermelon sugar is a tune.” But currently, she quickly scrolled and threw on Mumm-ra’s “Summer” the indie rock song had a classic indie bass and guitar combo as the intro, she shimmed her shoulders to the music. He couldn’t help but actually crack a smile at her antics. 

Her head turned to him then as she bopped to the music and gave him that brilliant smile lipping the words to the song “I’m only happy in the summer...I’m only happy with you, lover...” She was like a prism, all clear but as soon the light hit her she was vibrant colors and sounds. “Now that’s more like the Mac I know. Nice to have you back for a second.” 

Her words hit him fully, leave it to Riley to bring him back down to earth. To notice that he was struggling. He didn’t know what to say, so he opted for the next best thing. “Are you going to tell me where this semi-voluntary kidnapping is going?”

“Hey, no kidnapping vibes here. We’re taking a couple of days and chilling out. Matty already approved it. We have four days to ourselves. So we’re going on a road trip! Next stop Joshua Tree.” She simply stated as she drove down the hill and towards I-10E.

He widened his eyes and gave his head a shake, letting loose a chuckle he threw up his hand and let them slap his highs. “Ok! I’ll bite.” the brilliance of her smile made him feel like he made the right choice, the breeze already warm blew in through the open windows, the loose strands from her bun floating around her face. 

“Yea! Bozer is going to meet up with us there, he has an errand to run before. Unfortunately, Desi can’t make it, she’s on a mission.” she said sparing him a glance.

He shifted in his seat if he were honest, he was now just looking forward to spending time with her and Boz. “Yea, probably for the best.”

She didn’t say anything waiting for him to continue if he wanted to. The great thing about Riley was she pushed when there was something worth pushing for but otherwise gave him space to talk to her on his own time. Without saying it, he could feel her body asking him if he and Desi were ok.

“I’m not sure I’m what she needs right now.” He simply stated and the unstated that he probably didn’t need their complicated and messy relationship right now either. They were too volatile and while that gave spark to great sex, it left everything else scorched and untouchable. It wasn’t fair for Desi to be stuck with him while he was stuck in his head.

He watched Riley shift in her seat, lately, he noticed there was a strange distance between them but then here she was stealing him away as the old Riley would. Maybe four days would give him the answers to why he felt like she was slipping away slowly, the thought put such a tight feeling in his throat, he couldn’t lose one more person. Especially not Riley, not his amazing, smart, loyal, beautiful friend singing along to a cover of Billy Joel’s “Vienna”. Suddenly it was easy to smile again, it didn’t take all of his efforts. “Hey, did you pack my bag for me? Or am I gonna have to survive in these running clothes for four days?”

He didn’t think to change when she gave him 5 minutes to meet her at his truck.

“I got you, Mac, everything you need is in there boy! Why would I give you an empty backpack?” she tapped on with the music and threw him another smile. If the next few days were going to be filled with smiling Riley he was already glad she kidnapped him voluntarily.

“Did you go through my underwear and sock drawers?!” He asked narrowing his eyes and laughing as a soft blush spread across her cheeks, Riley Davis can be bashful what do you know. 

“I mean we’re all adults here, no need for this juvenile behaviour. Yes, I packed your undies and socks.” He could see her rolling her eyes behind her sunglasses, but he was amused by the blush that graced her face. Mac always thought Riley was attractive, men and women constantly commented on her beauty. Her looks helped them with countless ops. He wasn’t blind, just looked past the obvious. She was his friend, Jack’s daughter, and a relationship he couldn’t sacrifice. But these moments when they’re alone and he could look at her and steal glances he saw just how gorgeous she was as a being. 

They had become closer the past couple of years for sure, he felt completely at ease with her. Could talk to her about anything, seek her counsel about things that were on his mind. She usually could read him already ready to jump into whatever stupid situations he got himself into. Even now he couldn’t believe that she followed him into Codex. She had told him she trusted him, and he felt like he could breathe just from those words. Knowing she stood with him gave him the strength to follow through. 

They stopped for coffee and bagels, laughing about the guy in front of them that took ages to order. They made fun of a couple of housewives of Beverly hills type and how Bozer would’ve recognized who they are. It was just easy his mind kept saying to him. When he pointed to a smidge of cream cheese in the corner of her mouth, she attempted to licked it away with her tongue, he couldn’t help but gulp down some of his iced coffee and watch her miss it. Reaching over he brushed the side of her lips and without thinking licked his thumb clean. She froze for a second and looked at him with an intensity that he couldn’t read. “You were struggling” he shrugged. 

“Thanks,” was all she said with an almost shy smile, unaware of course of how that small act sent fire all over her. She was thankful that she was on her last bite and he was already finished with his bagel, now casually leaning back in his chair letting the sun warm his face, his golden hair casting a halo around him. She needed to run away, “ready to start the journey again?”

Smiling he stood, they took their unfinished coffee and bottles of water with them. For the next 15 minutes, they joked about the new episodes of Rick and Morty, as more of her playlist played in the background, glancing at the screen he saw the current song was “Good Life” by Randell Kent. The lyrics washing over him as they finally pulled into the expressway. This could be a good life, at least it felt that way right now. 

They passed the next 15 minutes in silence, but it was the kind they had often where it was just comfortable. They didn’t feel the need to fill the void. They just listened to music and watched the road and let their minds wander.

She hummed along with the new song that came on, he never noticed that she had a pretty nice singing voice. “...don’t overthink it...just surround me...hmm” LÉON's "Surround Me" played in the car. He leaned against his window and watched her quietly.  “Why don’t you take a nap, I know you didn’t sleep much last night. We’ve got another 2-hour drive ahead of us.” She finally says to him softly turning the music down a bit and rolling up the windows opting for the ac.

Of course, she noticed, it wasn’t a big secret that he had been spiralling out of control. He wasn’t sleeping or eating well, his mind obsessing over Codex. But now there was nothing but a jumbled mess of things and just pure grief and exhaustion left behind in the aftermath. Strangely enough, he actually felt ok enough to take her up on the offer, she made him feel safe. Knowing she was going to be here when he opened his eyes brought a feeling of comfort and peace he was struggling to have, it was like the darkness couldn’t get to him. “Yeah ok.”

He drifted and for the first time in a long time found sleep came quickly and a dreamless sleep took him over. No nightmares, just soft hum engulfed him. It was when he felt warm fingers on his cheek brushing back some hair did he open his eyes and came face to face with Riley’s hazel eyes and full lips. He blinked a few times to adjust to the light. “Hey,” she said softly. 

“Hey, are we here already?” He asked sitting up, it didn’t escape his mind that he didn’t mind that Riley was the first thing he saw when he opened his eyes, it never did but he filed it away with any other thoughts that ever came into his mind about her that seemed more than friendly behaviour. 

She stepped away from him and cleared her throat and nodded, “yea, we’re here. I’m glad you got some sleep” she smiled again. She was entranced with watching him sleep, she almost didn’t want to wake him, he was beautiful, soft and so vulnerable in this moment. She knew how much he was struggling, which made her predicament even more complicated. How could she tell him she would be moving out? Instead, her brilliant idea was to steal him away for a few days. She was playing with fire, but she also knew that as strong as he was, any more change might send him over the edge. She decided she’ll tell him about her move after this trip, but her priority will always be to protect him, her heart can deal with it. 

His own faced turned up, “yeah I guess I needed it, and who knew what I needed was you humming off-key to songs in the background to fall asleep.” She swallowed and told her heart to stop its stupid summersaults. 

“I’ll make you some tracks and make sure they’re extra off-key! I’ll be your white noise” she said quickly teasing back. 

“My very own ghost.” his eyes crinkling in the corners. This was the most she’s seen him smile in a while. 

Rolling her eyes and doing a mock laugh “careful or I will haunt your ass for real” to which she got full dimples, this was going to be four long days.

“Ok so I got us a house actually” she cheekily said pointing at the well-maintained terra cotta colored house they were parked in front of on top of a hill surrounded by sky and desert landscapes with cacti and boulders, the house faced the road below that brought them into town. The front porch had a couple of lounge chairs, a table for four, a couple of lanterns neatly hung around the arches and a small pathway that led to a circular covering what he deduced was the hot tub. There were shrubs and succulents neatly planted around the house giving some green to the otherwise very warm hue of the area. 

Mac looked around and already his head felt lighter under the sky that just seemed bluer here, probably because the air pollution was nonexistent here. He sheepishly said, “I kinda thought we’d be camping,” rubbing the back of his neck, “but the house looks nice.”

“Listen, we can camp I bought everything, but we can also stay in this awesome house with a hot tub, pool, and functioning toilets and showers.” she shrugged tucking her hands into the back pockets of her shorts. “What can I say, I’m a city gal and honestly we do ‘camp’ a lot for work.”

He shook his head lightly, “yeah I guess you got a point there,” thinking of all of the times they did camp out without any real equipments. “You thought of everything huh?” He asked softly taking her in fully. “Thanks, Riles.” watching her smile and nod made his heart feel warm, a feeling he’s been missing for a while.

As if on cue Bozer pulled up behind them. Riley’s smiled widen. Mac turned towards the car and he thought he was seeing a ghost. Then he heard the familiar sound of a Texan drawl. He turned to Riley wide-eyed and then back at where Bozer stepped out of the car with a shit-eating grin and next to him was none other than Jack Dalton. 

“How’s it going hoss!” He waved with a laugh as he approached Mac and took his hand and pulled him into a hug.

“Jack! Man, it’s so good to see you.” Mac said hugging the older man hard, he felt his eyes water just a bit.

Jack pat his back and pulled away smiling, “it’s good to see you too, kid.”

“Yeah, the OG gang is back together” Bozer claimed jumping with excitement.  

Jack turned to Riley and embraced her, “Hey baby girl!” Pulling her off the ground as she shrieked with laughter. Riley held onto Jack for a moment longer before releasing him and smiling, she didn’t hide the tears that were softly rolling down her face now. 

“I’m so glad to have you back.” She said softly. Jack brushed away tears from her cheek and nodded. 

“Me too.” he turned to look at his crew and smiled at the kids that somehow came to mean the world to him. “So we ready for this crazy weekend or what?!” his arm still around Riley. 

“Hell yeah!” exclaimed Bozer already heading to the trunk of his car to grab his and Jack’s bags. 

Mac just stood dumbfounded for a second taking in the 3 most important people in his life and finally feeling something, he’s been so scared that something in him was shifting but seeing them here smiling at him brought back the warmth he felt has been slowly seeping away. “Thank you, guys.”

“Come on man, we’re family,” Bozer said squeezing his shoulder. 

“You always got us,” Jack added a giant grin. “Alright now, let’s get settled and decide what we’re doing. I’m craving a cold one for sure!” He said picking up his bag.

Riley on cue walked over to the door and pressed in the security code into the door handle and opened up the door. “Welcome to the digs boys, we’ve got the living room” pointing to the right, “the master bedroom just past there as well as the second bedroom. Just ahead is the dining room and kitchen, around the hall to the left we have the other two bedrooms and bathroom. Laundry room and back porch with the grill AND pool. You saw the fire pit and hot tub in the front of the house.” she said sweeping both her arms around the house that was meant to be their home for the next four days. 

“Damn Riley! You did good!” Bozer said as he scanned the house, decorated with a mix of modern and country house feel. Walking over to the kitchen he hummed in approval, “I can work with this! I’m gonna grab the groceries!” he bounced back out the door. 

Jack gave a whistle of approval, “man, after the places I’ve been sleeping in, I’m gonna sleep like a baby!” as he went around ducking into rooms and giving his approval.

Mac didn’t care much about the house but did agree it was a nice one with all the comforts of home. 

Riley suddenly stood in front of him and gave him a warning “Macgyver don’t use any part of this house, I would like to get my deposit back.” He laughed holding up both hands in agreement. 

Jack turned the attention back to the group, “ok kids whose taking what room?”

“Riley should have the master,” Mac said right away. Jack did jokingly protest that he’s the one who’s been sleeping on rubbles and jungle floors. Bozer bounced into one of the bedrooms to the right, jack decided to take the bedroom next to Bozer. Which left him and Riley to the right side of the house. “Masters all yours.”

She smiled, “umm you sure you don’t want it?” to which he shook his head, all of the bedrooms where sizeable with queen beds and dressers, it honestly didn’t matter and being the only girl they didn’t mind giving her the room with space and vanity table so she can paint her face as jack put it to which she rolled her eyes. “So there is the bathroom down the hall next to the other bedrooms but one here on our side the bathroom is actually in the master, so feel free to use it if you need it. The shower in there looks amazing!” She said nervously.

He smiled “yea ok.” He helped her unpack the car and bring her bag into her bedroom. He looked around “maybe I should take this room,” which earned him a light shove at his shoulder and he chuckled. 

“Too late it’s mine now. Ok! So I say we get changed grab some lunch and chill for a bit while we plan the next few days.” She laid out the plans looking up at him both hands on her hips and she stretched forward towards him. That familiar hammering came back in her chest, the next thing she knows he’s embracing her. “Mac…”

He just needed to be close to her just for a second, releasing her from the embrace he softly said, “I just...I know I said thank you, but really, thank you.”

She held onto his biceps and squeezed them, ignoring the way that made her feel she just smiled at him “hey what are friends for if not to kinda kidnap you for a mini-vacation.” He laughed and she decided that was her favorite sound. Letting her hands fall to her side, “go get settled, I’m sure Boz will make us something to eat, I’m starving.”

He smiled once more and left her standing in the middle of her room feeling so many things. The next four days were going to be the hardest four days of her life she reminded herself again. She survived two years in prison, she’ll be fine, she hoped. Taking a deep breath she walked into the kitchen where she could already hear Jack and Bozer. 

Bozer was laying out sandwich meats and cheese he had picked up while swatting Jack’s hands away from stealing slices of the cold cuts. She felt a bit emotional seeing them goofing around, something about Jack being home made her feel like everything was going to be ok, that Mac would be ok and she would have the strength to get over what was currently happening to her in regards to Mac.

“Some things never change.” She heard Mac say softly now changed into a pair of trousers t-shirt and button-down. “Thanks for the clothes you picked out, I don’t think I could have picked better.”

Again she felt her face warm, what the hell was wrong with her. She couldn’t recall a time that she felt this affected. Usually, with guys she had found attractive, it was always coyness and subtle flirting but never did something so simple trigger this kind of response. She chalked it up to the heat even though the state of the art thermostat read a cool 70°. “Yea, of course, you’re welcome. And I’m glad that some things don’t change.”

Mac looked down at her, he agreed but maybe some things changing wouldn’t be too bad. Pulling up the chair at the kitchen island, they took the beers Jack handed them one by one raising his bottle “it’s good to be home, cheer!” They all clinked the bottles together and shouted cheers. Jack took a long swig off his beer, “Damn that’s good.” 

Mac couldn’t help but feel like he was transported back to a couple of years ago when things were simple and good. They saved lives and had fun. Everything seemed so much heavier and complicated these days. But right now at this moment, he felt the most present he’s felt in a year. 

“What are we having Boz, I’m starving!” Riley whined softly. 

“Girl I got you covered. I’m making a medley of sandwiches, you got a Cuban, prosciutto and mozzarella with balsamic vinegar and basil, and a BLT coming at you with my homemade mayo,” he said already working on prepping the bread with condiments. 

“Damn Bozer, have I missed your cooking!” said Jack with an excited glint in his eyes. 

“So I was thinking we take it easy for today don’t know about you guys but I could take a dip in that pool, we’ll start early morning for the hikes, if we want to camp tomorrow night we can, day 3 and 4 are open for whatever you guys want to do. We need to be back in LA by noon on monday.” Riley laid out the plans.

“Pool party, I’m in,” Jack said nodded seriously. 

“Me too! I can’t remember the last time I just had a day to do whatever I wanted.” Bozer said thoughtfully while working on their lunch.

“Yea, it’s been a lot going on hasn’t it.” He said picking at the beer bottle label. The room fell into silence for a moment, each reviewing the events of the past year if not longer. They lost so much as a collective but Mac and the most. 

Jack took another sip finishing off his beer and shook his head, “Nah, we’re here to have fun, let’s focus on that.” grabbing one of the pickles that Boze laid out, Bozer gave him a side-eye but said nothing. “This weekend we’re gonna unwind and be thankful for this beautifully weird place. Nothing is blowing up, no one is shooting at us, the worst thing will be the hangovers and food comas,”

Riley and Bozer both collectively knocked on the wood of the kitchen island, “don’t jinx it!”

To which Mac proceeded to explain that ‘jinx’ wasn’t a scientifically proven, and went into a ramble about logic. It wasn’t until he noticed all three of his friends smiling affectionately at him that he stopped dropped him head mouth curving into a smile. He knocked on the wood too just in case.

                                                         II

Twenty minutes later Bozer served them his masterpieces as he called them, and they all agreed that they were works of art. Jack had caught them up as much as he could on his mission with the deltas and catching Kovac, leaving the classified information out. It seems so natural that they wouldn’t give details, that they understood that somethings they could never talk about again. 

Finishing off his third sandwich Jack stood to plug his phone to charge “can you believe this phone lasted me almost 2 years?!” 

To which Mac rolled his eyes but his mouth still twitched upwards. “I can’t help that a phone has key components for most builds.”

“Yeah you left and it became either me or Riley. I feel like it was mostly me though.” Bozer said pouting. 

“Appreciate you picking up the slack, I already upgraded my insurance just in case.” Jack pointed at Mac. To which Boze and Riley hollered. 

Mac held up his hand and shook his head, “hey man I promise if I don’t need it, I won’t ask for it.” 

“Alright, Alright let’s get to the pool!” Jack said already pulling his shirt over his head. “Riley throw on some tunes, preferably something country or rock or close to my generation that we can all enjoy.”

It was Riley’s turn to roll her eyes, “don’t worry old man, I got us all covered. A bit of Brooks and Dunn, a bit of Ozzy,  a bit of Technotronic, a little Beyonce, and of course Drake for Bozer.”

Mac’s face squinted into lines. “Wait is Techtronic for me? Or is Beyonce for me?”

She laughed, “guess you’ll just have to find out, though I do recall you know the lyrics to at least one of Techtronic’s’ song.” her own eyes squinting to tease him. “Alright, I’m gonna go change, be right back.”

“Yeah ok fair enough, but only cause it was on the radio…saved your booty,” she heard him mumble as she passed him patting his shoulder. 

The guys were already set up by the pool when she walked out. Bozer managed to find a pool floaty from where they didn’t know and mildly suspected he might have packed the one that he was currently laying on and enjoying the sun. Mac and Jack sat next to each other with their feet in the water.

“I’m sorry about your old man.” Jack finally said softly. 

Mac’s lips pulled into a line before he sighed and looked down at the beer bottle in his hand “yea, as it turns out its hard to be mad at a guy that always chose the utilitarian method. He sacrificed himself, I wish I could just be sad or just angry but how I feel is just…” he didn’t know himself.

“Hey man, I get it. I know what it’s like to lose a father. No matter who and how he was as a person, he was still your dad.” Jack said placing a hand on Mac’s shoulder and giving a light squeeze. “But you know I‘m here if you gotta sort through all the jumbled mess in your head. I’ll be your sounding board.”

“Thanks, I appreciate that” He did appreciate it, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to, let alone where to start to untangle the mess that his life became. He was brought out of his brooding when Bozer whistled loudly.

“Damnnnnn Riley!” to which Jack knocked him off his floaty, when he resurfaced drawing water away from his face he whined, “I was just paying her the compliment she deserves!”

Mac knew that Riley had an amazing body, her tight jeans and crop tops proved this countless time if not by the countless gowns and tight dresses she had to wear for ops, but they’d never seen her in a bikini in the four years of working together. He swallowed hard and pretended not to stare, but it was hard when she was all bronze and glowing, toned abs and round hips, her smile radiant even if her eyes held a teasing annoyance at the attention. It suddenly felt hotter than 89°. 

Jack knew better than to tell her to cover up, and he knew that he could trust these guys but still, he pouted about her lack of clothing. “Jack, what do you want me to wear to the pool, a potato sack?”

“No, but...never mind!” he just mumbled. 

She shook her head, but she was trying to distract herself from the fact that Mac had looked at her hard, their eyes locked for a second and she could’ve sworn she saw something there, the way his adam’s apple bobbed make her skin tingle. She decided that she’d read it as a compliment. 

The rest of the afternoon passed with a game of pool volleyball, naps here and there or reading, Riley’s playlist playing in the background. Memories being solidified to sounds, smells, and feelings. She chided them to apply sunscreen and even offered to help with their backs. 

“Riley not sure if you’re aware but I’m black,” Bozer said to her proudly.

“So? Black people burn too and are you trying to get cancer?” She asked with a raised eyebrow.

Deflated he shook his head no and sat down. One by the one they gave up the protests as she threw savage shade at them. She applied a boatload of sunscreen just cause they gave her a hard time and decided to snap some pictures as well for blackmail of course.

Mac was last and sat in front of her as she steeled herself and slowly applied the sunscreen to the back of his neck, the hair at his nape tickling her fingers. She worked quickly and ran her fingers between his shoulder blades down his back. She felt him tense and worked faster. As much as she enjoyed being able to touch him like this, it was also inappropriate. He didn’t know about her feelings, and she felt sleazy as if she were taking advantage of a friend. Closing the bottle cap shut, she lightly tapped his shoulders, “done, now you don’t have to be an embarrassing lobster.” She weakly cracked.

He wasn’t new to attraction, or the body’s response to the said attraction. He didn’t expect to be so affected by her fingers running down his back, her nails making a slow trail that left him imagining those nails digging into his back for a completely different reason. He cleared his throat, “thanks, wouldn’t want that.”  he managed as he looked over his shoulder. Fuck him, she was adorable as she chewed her bottom lip and nodded. Ok, maybe four days of this Riley was going to be a challenge.

                                                        II

Around later afternoon everyone decides to shower and get ready for the evening, agreeing to head into town and grabbing dinner there. They decided with the drinks they’ve had best to grab an Uber into town. The awkwardness of the poolside sunscreen still fresh as they piled into the car. It was a short ride but felt long as Riley sat squeezed between Mac and Bozer. Bozer just grinned, of course, him knowing her feeling about Mac was going to be her downfall. When they were dropped off, She felt like she had been holding her breath for hours.

“You ok?” Mac asked her to which she nodded.

“Yep, just need a drink!” His brows raised and he seconded that feeling because he definitely could use one.  

Walking around the old Pioneer town setup, Mac explained different tools and contraptions that were displayed around the old buildings from the 1800s, Jack dazzled them with stories about Texas that either made no sense or was inaccurate according to Mac, Bozer, and goggle. They decided to have dinner at Pappy and Harriet’s Pioneertown Palace, where the smell of barbecue wafted through the warm evening air, They could hear the bustle of music and glasses clinking. Bozer was already rushing in to get them a table saying something about getting his hands on some ribs. Jack hollered that he has to see if this place is as good as Texas barbecue.  

Mac looked down at Riley as her eyes sparkled with excitement the earlier awkwardness finally forgotten. Even though they’ve been everywhere in the world, this place had her vibrating. “I never knew you were a fan of the country life.”

She laughed, “I don’t know, I didn’t think that I was either, but there is something about this place that just, I dunno gets me kinda hyped.”

“Hey, guys they have a table for us!” Bozer shouted over the live music and chatter. Apparently they came on open mic night and the local dentist was doing this rendition of Hank Williams’ “all my rowdy friends” and killing it. The energy was just infectious.

They sat down as Bozer rubbed his hands together, “I already know this is gonna be the bomb. I mean can you smell that hickory?!”

“Hell yea I can!” Jack chimed in.

Mac smiled at his best friends, Bozer and Jack were always bouncing off each other in any room the three of them were in, but since Riley came into the picture they’re better behaved. They listen to song after song and the cheers of the crowd as they ate. Jack approved and hummed in appreciation. 

“I’ve missed this, the good ole USA, bbq, and country blues.” 

“Every song is about beer, a truck, a woman, but man is it catchy” Bozer stood busting out his moves as he called it. 

“Jack, it makes sense you should feel right at home at this place.” She said with eyes twinkling. 

Mac took a swig of his beer and chuckled, “This whole place is Jack if he were a bar, maybe throw in some Black Sabbath and ACDC in and you have Jack.”

Jack grinned and nodded, “ok, ok, you’re not wrong. I’m totally digging this place.” His eyes finding the eyes of a pretty blonde at the bar.

“Classic...” She agreed, crinkling her nose up in that adorable way when she found something slightly distasteful, thought Mac. For a moment they took the time to acknowledge the man who became a father to them both with affection. If they ever have to thank someone for their sincerity they could claim Jack as one of the big influencers. They’re musing was broken by Bozer shouting,

“Guys come on lets dance, how often do we get to do this anymore?” Bozer ushered them onto the dance floor. He already found himself a couple of dance partners. Ph.D. in partying Bozer was out tonight. 

It was true, they didn’t do these things anymore. Things haven’t been the same for a while. It’s only been about a year and yet he felt like his whole world shifted. An avalanche of shit hit him. 

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” Jack jumped up and was already making a beeline for the woman at the bar. They could hear a vague “how you doing?”

Mac and Riley just rolled their eyes and joined Bozer on the dance floor as the new performer of the night decided to sing Shania Twain “Man, I Feel like a woman.” As soon as they joined Bozer, of course, within minutes Riley was stolen away for a dance. Mac was happy to watch her, the joy finally reaching her eyes today. Maybe they all needed this, a moment to stop and appreciate their lives. 

He liked seeing her like this, Riley was always fun to be around. But right now she was everything he thought to himself, everything about her made his heart feel full. Finishing his beer off, he decided that he wanted to be the one to dance with his friend. The more he played with the word, somehow it didn’t seem enough anymore to call her that.

“Can I steal her for this dance?” he asked not really waiting for an answer already pulling her close to him. “You good?” looking to make sure he wasn’t misreading the situation.

She looked up at him and nodded, “yeah, I’m good.” looking down at their joined hands, it was this hand-holding that started the thud in her chest in Germany, and here it was hammering away. She was so screwed. There was a part of her mind that asked her, why not? He’s not attached anymore, so why not? But she knew better, he didn’t need this right now. He didn’t need her feelings to complicate his life. Lost in her thoughts or the blues of his eyes she wasn’t sure which, she didn’t realize the music was changing as the next performer took stage and cheers were heard. 

The music changed to a slower one, something about it just seemed fitting and he’d watched her dance all night with other people but now it was his turn. He stepped up closer to her, her eyes on him as he took her hand and swayed with her. She laughed softly as they danced to a soft country song about a man who wanted to be a girl’s everything. How ironic.

“If you wanna be with a guy who's gonna bring you flowers A guy who's gonna talk on your phone for hours A guy who's gonna wanna hold the door for you When you wanna walkthrough A guy who's gonna pick you up A guy who's gonna take you out and make you Wanna get a little dressed up and get a little down”

She once told him that she wouldn’t mind a small town, the quiet, after all things they saw daily. He wondered if secretly she wanted to be one of those ‘girl next door’ country girl. He felt her warmth through the shirt she wore, his finger brushing the soft exposed skin of her midriff. It was like an electrical current ran through him, which was of course plausible and probably didn’t mean anything.

“I wanna be the guy with the roses Number on speed dial, ladies first, don't you know that's my style Hop into my truck I got plans We’ll head on down to Jimmy's and we'll do a little dance There's a lot of things in a small town a guy can be But if its by your side for the rest of my life Baby, you can call me, a wannabe (a wannabe) Be be a wannabe (a wannabe) (a wannabe) Be Be”

She knew how dangerous this was getting, but she couldn’t help herself just for this one song. Couldn’t help giggling when he spun her around and pulled her close. Couldn’t help but let her stupid heart thud at his deep laughter. Where she could touch him for a little while without question, without worry. She can feel the hair at the nape of his neck as she wrapped her arms around him because they were just dancing. This stolen moment getting filed away as one of the best nights she’s had to date. 

“If you wanna be with a guy whose gonna give you The whole world from the back of a dirt road farm Scribbled in ink with a big heart a tattoo on my arm I'm talkin' kissin' like crazy, can't shut it down Can't you see how I wanna be the guy that you’re out with Arm that's your names on”

With every sway, he felt like he was taking a step towards where he should be. The person he should be and wanted to be. The doubt that has been clouding over him slowly clearing a little. He felt like he could finally see the light shining through. If someone like Riley could stand next to him as the world ended then life couldn’t possibly be that bad, right? So for now at this moment, he pulls her closer, lets her scent make him dizzy. Lets his hand splay across the small of her back to let each finger feel her.

“Be the lips baby that you wanna put your lips on All-day, all night, moonshine, sunrise, your favorite song There's a lot of things in a small town a guy can be But if it’s by your side for the rest of my life, baby you can call me A wannabe (a wannabe) (a wannabe) Be be a wannabe (a wannabe) Be Be”

There is a cheer from the crowd and she laughs “This song is fucking catchy,” She says as he dips her, the audible gasp vibrating through her to him. He decided then that he loved dancing with Riley. He loved her laughs, the way her whole face lit up. 

“I wanna be the guy you make a life with, picket white fence with Maybe a little later hell even make a baby with Just you and me livin' that life long dream There's a lot of things in a small town a guy can be But if it’s by your side for the rest of my life”

He placed his forehead against hers and held her close. She glances up at him and his eyes hold hers. She’s mystified by their intensity, her body on fire from his breath fanning across her face. They were so close, he could kiss. He wanted to kiss her. As they got lost in each other, they failed to see the silly smile on Bozer’s face as he watched them or Jack who also softly chuckled from where he got distracted from wooing his lady friend Carla. If he was being honest, he can’t believe it took this long for them to get to this point. Well, he supposed he’ll have to have a chat with Mac about what he can expect if he hurts his little girl. Turning back to Carla he spared them one last glance then he was all Dalton, Jack Dalton. 

“Baby you can call me, a wannabe (a wannabe) (a wannabe) Be be You can call me your wannabe (a wannabe) Be Be A wannabe (a wannabe) (a wannabe) Be Be”

The crowd clapped cheered and whistled around them, he held her eyes still in a trance. Something definitely shifted between them. She cleared her throat and let him go smiling. “Thanks for the dance. That was so much fun.” Turning to make her way through the crowd to their table where a fresh bottle of beer was waiting for them courtesy of Bozer she assumed. She didn’t wait to see if he was following.

The heat from the dance coming off her now as if she had a full HIIT workout. She took a sip of the beer and before she could swallow it, he was standing next to her. 

“Riley…”

She gulped down the beer and looked at him, she was so fucked. 

[dayables]

4 and Shin? That's a dark one, but you write him well so I'd trust you with it. If you want something lighter instead, 17 for Shin!

Thank you for asking this! As you can see, I got into a very deep ramble about his life pre-death game and it doesn’t really tie in but I’ve kept it there :)  The last few parapraghs are the actual answers ahaha. Play some sad music in those paragrapths because I nearly cried with halloween music in the background.    4) What they would do if they had one month to live.   If Shin had one month left to live? We see it in the game kind of. Or at least kind of. Obviously imitating your ‘scary friend’ most likely abuser to try and turn everyone against your biggest threat isn’t going to work in real life. 

What the game and his 0.0% score does tell us (or heavily shove in our direction so we infer it) is that Shin is petrified of certain death to the point of desperation.

I do believe/headcanon that he is a very logical person. Almost everything he does is backed up by logic in the death game except for his last moments because screw logic that’s never worked before.  (The opposite of Keiji who’s likely very emotional until his potential last moments but this isn’t about him). So the question is, when did Shin’s last moments begin for him?  As the player, it’s when it’s that final choice between him and Kanna. To Shin this is likely a very different response. His last moments start the very second he gets told he’s doomed to die. Almost all of Shin’s choices in the game are emotional. Trusting Sara or at least earning her trust is the logical choice here. Making yourself her enemy because you are scared is the emotional one. He just lies to himself on the basis that she’s untrustworthy. Which, you can trick yourself into believing is logical.  It triggers a kind of flight or fight response in all our characters when they realise they can die here. All the cast barr Shin choose to fight and try and escape. Shin chooses the flight option here. Nothing he does actually prevents his death in the end. He just runs away from the inevitable doom. 

 I am once again inferring by comparing him to rest of the cast the death is a deep rooted trauma (and I definitely have thoughts on why). While the concept of death is one that scares everyone, no one seems to revel in it the way Shin does. He is living an incredibly safe life. A free lance programmer (by the sounds of it)  which earns an average of £60 an hour. He has a side job at a convenience store (that wasn’t a lie). He doesn’t leave his apartment much meaning he doesn’t have much of a social life. Shin is in a position in life where it’ll be near impossible to hurt him. Obviously he isn’t earning 60 quid an hour, but he has the potential too. Once he’s set up and successful, he’ll be able to die old. Alone, maybe not happy, but old.  For a guy likely in his early to mid twenties, things are bound to change but only as much as he lets them. From one person who will happily spend all their life in their own company to another, Shin isn’t going to change that. Not when he’s too scared to let someone past arms width and will avoid doing so. By the time he gets his game together and his skinny self to therapy it’ll likely be too late to make the same connections he has the chance too at his current age.  It’s not emotional because even the most introverted of introverts desires a life all alone. It’s a logical one for the fears and life he has. I don’t think that means he isn’t happy. It just thinks there’s a potential that he could have been happier. 

For Midori to have gotten as close as he was and no one to pull up the red flags his friends either didn’t care or didn’t exist. Most likely the latter seeing as he is very much in the process of mourning three years after his friends death. He likely wasn’t close enough to his parents to feel he could go to them over something as silly as Midori’s death. In the aftermath, Shin will be confused and muddled. In some ways, he’ll be elevated because he is free, he can move on. In other ways he’ll be lost, devastated and empty. Shin will also have a semblance of independence back. He doesn’t think he shows enough gratitude to his parents for materialistic items. Midori’s abuse was likely emotional or verbal. It probably consisted of vague threats, put downs, anger, power dynamics and a shrug at Shin’s emotions. I’m in no way a professional but after years of this Shin is going to think his emotions are something he should be able to handle himself, something he might not be able to do if he started to repress them in his teens. Shin likely has a warped sense of independence. Instead of being free from others control, he’ll likely think it means he can’t get help and must deal with everything alone. 

Being told that his death is round the corner strips two things that he values most away from him. He now has zero control over his life and worse, it ends with him dyeing. Shin would grasp for straws to have that independence back and therefore escape his own death. If he couldn’t get his independence back then he’ll try and avoid the end outcome. 

His last month would be a goose chase to avoid death. There’d be a list of everything he has to do. Fuck his jobs, fuck debt he needs to get to the hospital. Get checked up! Make sure he’s well. He’d do it everyday. Does he have enough medicine? Wet wipes, stock up on healthy food, hand sanitizer? Does he have enough hand sanitizer? Make sure his room is squeaky clean, don’t let anyone in, don’t answer the phone. Bolt the windows and live off ramen and debt for the rest of the month. Beanie on, beanie off, what is he going to die from? Has he prevented any possible cause? He’s forgotten to call his parents. That’s fine because he shouldn’t be dyeing anyway. It’s logical. It’s all logical. This is not his fear of death speaking through everything he is doing is logical! Now he just needs to figure out what’s causing this all? How did that person know? Then on the last day. He’d just give up. He’d finally pick up that phone and call his parents. He’d thank them and explain. He’d apologize for the debt because he’s swimming in it then he’d hang up. Shin would then proceed to cry in bed all day and trying to sleep so he just doesn’t wake up.  Then, while it’s a tragedy, I think he’d accept it. I don’t think he ever really thought he had a chance but his emotions drove him round and round in circles. Maybe he would regret his whole life and look back on it all. In a none death game scenario Shin seems like a brooder. He doesn’t have Kanna to live for so he has no reason to push forward. I think in the end he’d reach the conclusion his life was pretty pointless. Just as he’d slip from consciousness I imagine he’d think of Midori. Nearly everything we know about Shin seems to revolves about Midori . We, the player, never know him before the guy entered his life. That guy has a big impacts in his life and in a world where that was the only person to leave such a big mark? I think he’d go back to Midori. Especially with nothing to distract him from his mourning. 

It’s quite sad really. He lets his fear control him too much. Midori controls him too much and they’re both aware of that fact. But in the short, Shin would try and avoid his death. Hell he’ll likely die of exhaustion or caffeine overdose

His ending in the main game, I think that’s the best way Shin could have gone at that age. Dying for Kanna and letting go of his cynicism. 

Ending this off with 17 because I need that jokeness now, after all that. 

17) What would they sing at Karaoke? 

Everyone expects Shin to like bang out with some Beyonce or something. Maybe one of those silly little disney parodies. Everyone would make a joke about what he should sing because he’s indecisive as hell. 

Keiji Kai and all of those mature adults suggest Single Ladies,  Mr. Brightside,  Fireworks, Wannabe because classic Karoke songs you actually have to be able to sing when Shin 100% can’t? Count them in! 

Midori would suggest something embarrassing he knew wouldn’t even be funny to watch. Just painful. 

Gin, Sara, Reko and Alice are snickering behind their hands as they suggest Poor Unfourtunate Souls,  How Bad Can I Be (Alice ended up doing that one), The oogie boogie song and the price Ali reprise. 

When he refuses Sara refuses to let him get away with not being painted as some corny villian and dedicates her singing of Cruella De Vil to him.

Then Kanna taps on his shoulder and tells him what to sing and A: It’s Kanna’s suggestion B: It’s not and a bonus C if he’s drunk: He gets to whack a certain police officer and teacher with a hockey stick. 

And my inner theatre Kid shines through as he I say Shin sings Revolting Children and can’t get his letters write, drunk or sober. 

‘R e v o t l i n !’  instead of ‘ R E V O L T I N G’ 

‘S P L L!’ instead of ‘ S P E L’ 

‘TOO LATE FOR YOU?’ Instead of  ‘ 2-L-8-4-U ‘

I kid you not I have knows this song for years and I still struggle. You can not do that spelling rhythm first time. 

Also the lines. The lines!   We will become a screaming hoard.//Take out your hockey sticks and use it as a sword.// Never again will we be ignored.//We'll find out where the chalk is stored// And draw rude pictures on the board.

It’s such a childish song but it’s so hard. He struggles and struggles and one day he will get it because it’s so simple and why can’t he do it roght! Also, it suits him. Sue me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6PXm34OBP8

[saltypicks]

reviewing may’s comebacks (in june, because i have shit to do)

There were a lot of comebacks this month. I guess it's summer now? No idea, there's no summer in my country. The girl groups have started coming back in full force but are not impressing. The boy groups seemed to mostly go the groovy route and now I need an adjective other than 'groovy' to describe songs.

Not The End, Highlight

I'm so glad it's not a ballad. It's not bad.

You are so beautiful, SGO

Everyday I'm grateful for the retro trend and this is a great representation.

Gray Area, Hi Cutie

At some sections I like this song (the verses and the chorus) and at others I dislike it (the trap breakdown, the middle of the chorus). I complained about MAJORS' company having no money previously but Hi Cutie's company is bankrupt. Poor nugus.

Dreamcatcher and GWSN have far superior 'Red Suns' but this song is okay and I'm happy the girls look so happy to have some work (and hopefully some money) at last.

Today, CITI

A nice midtempo song. And no, I did not hear it first from a drama OST.

Make Up Your Mind, AILEE

Sounds like a Beyonce-type song.

MALO, SHAX

Apparently this is a drama OST (Imitation, to be specific. It's based on a webtoon). Basic boy group song but it sounds like it's from the 2010s or something, and that's a compliment.

Hot Sauce, NCT Dream

Initially: Um...at least Renjun looks good? Honestly I don't know what to say about this song. NCT is a group I stan so this will definitely grow on me but...is this really not an advertisement for hot sauce? Also the set resembles the set for SHINee's Atlantis in my opinion. Now: The shouting is annoying and unnecessary. Love Chenle's voice in this; it provides a nice contrast to Haechan and Renjun. Someone said the chanting should've been left to the rappers and I fully agree. Don't know about Jisung and Jaemin but Jeno and Mark would be a good fit with a chant. In my opinion the dance break isn't really needed but is it NCT without a dance break? Also, wtf are they wearing around their necks? Someone should inform the SM stylists that less is really more.

DUN DUN DANCE, OH MY GIRL

It's light and pleasant but if this song was a meal it would be a tiny appetizer that tastes good but doesn't satiate you.

WHATEVER, KEEMBO

I didn't think I'd like it at first but this is groovy and makes me want to dance while doing my chores.

Always, VAV

Song for the fans but if you need a VAV song to listen to I recommend Gorgeous.

Hurt, Baekhyun & Seomoontak

Hasn't Baekhyun been shipped off to the army yet? Anyway, love how dramatic this is.

Waiting for Victor, 015B ft. Dawon

Another great retro song! Also the singer is cute and her hair is cute as well. She reminds me of Chuu a little.

Uncertainty Principle, 015B ft. Dawon

I prefer their other song, but this one is retro as well and it's great.

척하면 척, 강혜연 (Kang Hyeyeon)

Trot that's kind of subdued but still danceable.

Badly, SURA

Loved it from the first second.

BLACK MIRROR, ONEUS

Then: Is it good enough to make up for No Diggity? I don't know about that, but this song is groovy and I'm somewhat okay with it. Doesn't have much replay value for me though. Now: Eh, it's basic groovy boy group song but I won't skip if it comes on.

Breathe Again, BLITZERS

Another boy group with a somewhat questionable name. This song is pretty good as a debut and it's somewhat memorable. I wonder if my rating increeased because of the guitars? District 9 was the same for me, but right now it doesn't interest me. I think this song will stay for a good while on my playlist though. I like the anthemic vocals in the chorus and this song needed more of that.

EASY, WJSN THE BLACK

The girls looked good but the storyline kept getting interrupted by shots of the girls. Yes, we know they're all visuals but I'd be more interested if there was actual action and plot. The song is good objectively but doesn't really interest me. Who knows? Maybe a few more listens will change my mind.

Outerspace (ft. Loco), Kang Daniel

Groovy and better than his last two releases.

Giant, Yuqi

So nice to hear Yuqi's voice on its own. The song was fine until the chorus crushed all my love for it.

Glass of Tears, HONG JA

Appropriately dramatic for a song named 'glass of tears'. It's good and if you like trot you'll like this one.

Taste of Life, Yang Ji Eun

What do you call this? Folk trot? Whatever it's called, it's good.

LOOK AT ME, ICU

OK.

WE GO, fromis_9

It sounds like the token girl group summer song. I don't dislike it, but nothing about this song stands out to me. Honestly with a mini-album called '9Way Ticket' I expected more, because it reminds me of Nine Muses' Ticket everytime I see it. The b-side 'Airplane Mode' is pretty good though and the other one, 'Promise' is a slow song but I don't really mind it, it's fine as background music.

Next Level, aespa

Umm...what is SM's plan for these girls? How can a rookie group from the big 3 have only 3 songs? And only one is an original? The song is not the best thing ever and SM surely can do better but at least it wasn't as bad as M.A.F.I.A. aespa deserves more than this.

Ring Ring, ROCKET PUNCH

Finally after Bim Bam Bum these girls have a title track I enjoy. You can't go wrong with covering Take On Me, can you? It's no Platonic Love or Sea of Moonlight, and it certainly could have done without the rubbish trap section but it's a bop anyway. Meanwhile, the b-side Ride is great and I hope they promote it. This song would be more enjoyable if their voices weren't so shrill in the chorus. High notes aren't a necessity for good songs.

Advice, Taemin

Not the best of Taemin but it's good. I love the fast tempo of the piano and the way it drives everything. Taemin's performance also elevates this song and I'm grateful he's leaving us with a good song before going on his two-year vacation.

RUB-A-DUM, TRI.BE

They're really going all out with this 'tribe' thing, aren't they? It sounds very Middle Eastern to my ears at times, sometimes it sounds African-ish and the other times it is just typical trap kpop. DOOM DOOM TA was better and more fun. At least they got the catchy catchphrase right. Blackpink in your area who? Tri-bee da loca! The b-side 'LORO' is not much fun either. The only difference is it's Latin-influenced.

Shadow, Dreamcatcher

Typical Dreamcatcher song slowed down by a lot. It's not bad, plus it's nice to hear Dami sing. Also what is it with Korea and zombies? With the MV the song sounds a lot better but the MV distracts me. Shouldn't zombies be mindless? How do they use tools and know martial arts? Or is it just my eyes? And can that tiny gun protect anybody? Are you sure that's not a toy?

The beginning of spring, E'LAST U

Not horrible but not for me either.

Oh MAMA, BLING BLING

One of the few new ggs in a while with unfortunate names. They've clearly upgraded in terms of styling and MV budget, but their song quality is no different.

Let Me Know, PIXY

Sonically it sounds nothing like their dark concept. Actually it does sound like a dark concept, if done by a boy group. It's not bad but it's not good. The industrial-like sounds in the back are interesting but the whole song is not.

Son of Beast, TO1

TOO rebrands as TO1 with this song. It's groovy.

HAPPEN, Heize

For the first time I like a Heize song. The MV is interesting too, the story was cliche but I liked the visuals and aesthetics.

FEVER, ENHYPEN

Rhis song was from the [BORDER: CARNIVAL] mini. I listened to that mini but I remember not really liking any of the b-sides except the outro and the intro, so this is a surprise.

My Flower, Kim Jaehwan

Nice upbeat song with guitars all over it. I like it.

Corazon Perdido, Yesung (Super Junior)

Initially I wasn't going to review this because I didn't even review the title track but the final moments of this song are beautiful and it deserves a mention.

Butter, BTS

The song is smooth as its title. The MV is fine except for that ARMY thing; I cringed so hard.

Bonnie and Clyde, Yuqi

Better than the other one.

Ride, ROCKET PUNCH

This is so great and I'm glad it got its own video, even if it was just a dance video glorified as a 'Special Stage'. Now if only I could stop chuckling whenever I hear "looks rike a lainbow".

Rush Hour, GAHO

Love it, especially the guitar strumming moments and the chorus when the electric guitar comes in.

GEMINI, AB6IX

Love how the vocals don't distract from the great instrumental.

FIRST, EVERGLOW

In a comment section someone said La Di Da was a fluke and I kind of agree. Everglow returns to their usual style (chanty chorus + catchy riff repeated over and over) and this song is in the same vein as Adios. I like the chorus but the rest of the song is hard to recall. Siyeon, Aisha and Yiren are the only ones who actually look good and EU needs more lines and her blonde hair back. Also why does kpop think that moving the camera around a lot creates the illusion of motion? All it does is make me dizzy.

Like It Hot, GWSN

Sometimes I like GWSN title tracks, and sometimes I don't. I don't think much of this song, but their album is great.

Je T'aime, Joy

I love you Joy but this is boring. If it was meant to be a lullaby then SM succeeded.

Burned All Black, Kim Jaehwan

His other song is a ballad which is somewhat pleasant. Well, it was until it slowed down in the first chorus.

Purple, woo!ah!

Still not one song from woo!ah! I like.

GGOMA, Tae Ho (IMFACT) and Choi Ye Geun

Loved Choi Ye Geun's Scarecrow so I was happy to see her again. The song is groovy but the chorus sounds somewhat...empty? Love the scat at the end, should've been longer. This is also a great example of a bright boy group song. See? Upbeat and bright boy group concepts don't have to be childish.

DIAMOND, Sparkling

Another Imitation OST. I honestly doubt that there are actual kpop songs as bad as this.

7days Tension, Weeekly

Ad song. Bright and the chorus is nice.

0X1=LOVESONG (I Know I Love You), TXT feat. Seori

The angsty opening line caught my attention, then the verse after it dropped the energy. It picked up again in the chorus and pre-chorus, thankfully. It's very much pop rock, except there are no guitars in this. Doesn't stop the song from being good though.

Hello, Joy

I love Joy's voice as always but this song doesn't do much for me even though it's upbeat. A few more listens might change my mind.

Call Me, Omega III

Another Imitation OST. Doesn't do much for me, just like all the Imitation MVs. At least let us understand what your drama is about. Instead we get these random shots of what idols are supposed to be like? I don't know much about idol life but it's obvious these girls would be called nugus in real life, and I honestly doubt nugus have such nice living conditions.

No Answer, LA LIMA

Jiyeon from T-Ara is on this one. This and MALO are my favourites from the Imitation OST so far. The song is nice with a sleek catwalk vibe to it but like the rest the MV is boring.

Show Me, Tea Party

Are these the Omega III girls? Not sure but I think so. MV still boring, song doesn't interest me.

Let me go!, The Volunteers

Great rock song, I just wonder why it's all in English (I'm not complaining).

[halequeenjas]

Superstars || Alejandra & Jasmine

TIMING: Current PARTIES: @alejandra-solano & @halequeenjas SUMMARY: Jasmine takes Alejandra to Siren’s Serenade for a night of karaoke. They leave as very inspired divas.

Jasmine had always been a social butterfly. Ever since she was a kid, she found she loved having a large circle of friends and people to hang out with. Even more so, she loved being the center of attention but that was neither here nor there. When it came to a girls night, all that mattered was a good time which usually entailed wine, good music, and occasionally acting as wing women. After chatting with Ally online, Jasmine decided could use the town’s ultimate gal pal. She did move here from across the pond and all. A karaoke bar seemed like a fun place to get to know each and was a little more laid back than the jazz bar she usually frequented. Even from outside, she could tell this spot had a good energy going. When she saw a woman approaching that looked like Ally’s profile picture, she waved and smiled eagerly. “Hey,” she greeted excitedly, “I hope you like cocktails and karaoke because this place seems to have a great crowd tonight… and admittedly I love karaoke.” 

 Ally had a nervous excitement about hanging out with someone outside of work. Jasmine seemed so cool, and easy to talk to, and fun. It felt like a first date, and Ally wanted to impress. She fussed with her hair more than she was used to, and took a few deep breaths in the mirror before she headed out. When Ally pulled up to the bar she noticed a microphone by the name on the sign. Before she could really think about it she was out of the car and walking toward Jasmine who was waving her down. She smiled excitedly until the word karaoke fell from the other girls lips. “Yeah, great crowd, and I love a good cocktail.” she said, folding her arm. “So when you say karaoke is it like an open mic night type deal or am I like...singing. Because let me tell you, it’s not good, my voice.” she explained. 

 Jasmine swayed in her seat to the sound of some middle-aged white man singing that one Journey song that always seemed to get people going. It wasn’t a bad song though his voice left much to be desired. That was half the fun of karaoke though. When the bartender approached, she smiled widely and asked, “I’ll take a raspberry margarita, and whatever my friend is having.” She gestured to Ally to put her order in. There was definitely an upbeat energy in the place and she was ready to get their names on the karaoke list. She could tell Ally wasn’t as enthused by that part. She laughed and assured, “Oh, it’s definitely us doing the singing. But no one expects karaoke to be good. I mean, look at wannabee Tyler whatever up there. It’s all about having fun. It’s actually more fun when it’s bad… not that I can relate, but still.” Once their drinks were in front of them, she added, “I’m thinking of starting my night off with some Mariah Carey. Or maybe Beyonce. What about you?” 

 Ally looked at Jasmine, seeming so comfortable, and felt jealous. She felt like she stuck out like a sore thumb wherever she went. Maybe that’s what she liked about being a cop, when she was on the clock, she could blend in. Ally smiled at the bartender, “Just a beer please.” she said. She heard the whine of the man singing on the stage near her and winced. “Let’s do two beers.” she amended. When Jasmine made it clear that she was a good singer, Ally noted that she should probably go first. She watched the current singer leave the stage, looking more confident than when they approached. Maybe it would be good for her. “I spent my childhood singing JLo, so I guess I should do her justice.” she said, taking a big gulp of her beer. There was silence as the podium was abandoned. “Rip the bandaid off Solano.” she said, standing up and walking to the podium, about to give the worst performance of her life.  

When she was done, she felt different, like she wasn’t just Ally Solano. She was someone bigger. Brighter. She motioned wildly for Jasmine to come up and join her.

Jasmine couldn’t help but laugh as Ally ordered herself an extra beer to get her through the prospect of karaoke. Plenty of her friends were inclined to grab a shot of tequila before karaoke. That’d never been her go to… unless there were shots of Don Julio or Patron, but she was more than happy to go up on stage sober. In fact, she relished in being in the spotlight. “I’m sure you’ll be great. It’s all about having fun anyway,” she assured as the bartender handed them their drinks. At the mention of JLo, she perked up. “Oh, good choice. Have always had love for my girl JLo. Who doesn’t love good ‘ol Jenny from the block?” As Ally made her way to the stage, Jasmine took her drink into the crowd around the small stage and cheered as Ally got on stage. Her woops were the loudest and inspired some of the others to cheer as well. As Ally sang, she seemed to get more and more into it. Her voice wasn’t bad even if she was no song bird and everyone enjoyed singing along to JLo. She smiled brightly as Ally motioned for her to come on stage, seemingly more confident than she was moments ago. Once she was on stage with mic in hand, she said, “Give it up for my new friend, Ally… Or should I say, Jenny from the block. I’m going to keep up the 90s classics and give you my rendition of Mariah Carey.

When the music started, Jasmine confidently sang along to Always Be My Baby as she knew every word by heart. She moved and swayed along with the music and she swore as she kept going, she felt more and more empowered. Important. When she finished, she ate up the applause and thanked the crowd goers. She very specifically felt ready for a VIP lounge now. After all, she was Mariah Carey. “Jen,” she exclaimed as she got off stage and joined her fellow songtress, “What do you say we find a VIP club and make a whole night of this? Maybe another song or two first… we can’t disappoint the fans.” 

 Ally heard Jasmine’s whoops from the crowd and appreciated the support. Was this what it was like to have a best friend. Ally had a hard time making really good friends. She had coworkers and her books, and that was all she had needed. When Jasmine called her Jenny from the block she realized she was Jenny from the block. It was as if she was realizing something she should have known the whole time. Jasmine sang, her voice ringing strong and beautiful throughout the bar. People were turning their heads and swaying along. “Is there a good VIP club around here? I’m amazed the fans aren’t swarming. Super cool of you all!” she shouted, laughing uncontrollably. “Have we ever done a duet? It’ll make headlines.” she gasped. A part of her mind wondered who this was, but a part of her liked who she was. “Mariah Carey and Jennifer LOPEZ!” she announced into a mic, walking back onto the stage. There were a few disgruntled girls waiting their turn. Didn’t they know she was a celebrity. She winked at them, “I’ll sign something later for you girls.” 

 Jasmine knew a club up the block that had a good VIP section and happened to have her favorite champagne. Normally, she didn’t switch from margaritas to wine, but champagne felt necessary. However, her attention was caught at the mention of a duet. An eyebrow raised and there was a devious smirk upon her face. “Jenny, you always have the best ideas,” she exclaimed dramatically. The crowd of course seemed to cheer them on though she was not sure what was with the weird looks. She shrugged it off before getting back on stage with her girl JLo and doing a rendition of No Scrubs by TLC. It was a good song for a duet and forever a mood. The pair sang and danced along happily until the song was over. They got a good applause though not what she would expect given their level of stardom. As promised, they stopped by a group of young girls and gave them their autographs. The girls looked confused. They were younger, but her and her friend were timeless. They’d realize the gold mine they just got soon enough. She walked back up to the bar and looked at the bartender expectantly. “Be a dear and get our checks for us please. The club needs us.” 

 Ally sang alongside Jasmine, dancing and winking to members of the audience. This new confidence surged through her. When Jasmine asked for the checks Ally laughed and looked at the bartender, “Do you know who we are?” Why should someone of her caliber have to pay. Think of the PR that the bar was getting. “That performance is worth several thousand dollars. Easy.” she said. In the back of her mind, a nagging voice asked why she was acting like this, she was never like this. Around her, she heard some of the other karaoke singers making the same proclamation. This little bar really attracted the stars. “The club needs us.” she reaffirmed and turned to leave.

Jasmine shook her head. More often than not, bars covered her tab seeing as she was an international superstar, but alas, that wasn’t always the case. “Jenny, don’t worry about it. I’ve got this.” She flashed the bartender a flirtatious smile before handing him her American Express card. Given this poor guy was working as a bartender in what was frankly a sad little town, she decided to use her Mariah Carey bank account to leave an obscenely large tip. “The club awaits,” she exclaimed, linking arms with Jenny to leave for their night on the town. Their shoes, after all, were made for dancing and so were they.

[iamdorka]

The making of the new album

I wanted to post this hours ago but the wifi at the train station decided to be a bitch so I try to post it now. If it gets posted two times please love this one more, okay? 🙈

So as the release of his new album is closer and closer I decided to write something about it. Hope you will like it.

The making of the new album (headcanon)

- He was really excited about this one, because after opening about the demons in his head in Hotel Diablo on this one he really could show his true passion, every piece of it, without any restriction. He just kept pushing himself towards his truest self and you had to admire that, because his work was his life. Also he worked with some of the finest artist (including literally your heroes from your childhood and that got you even more excited if it was even possible).

- He loved when you were around in the studio even if you had nothing to do with music, your presence calmed him down even in his darkest moments. He needed that firm point in his life, he needed you.

- And you loved being there with him because even if listening to music, pretending you are sometimes Beyonce or other time the fearless frontgirl of a rockband like Hayley Williams was your only way engaging with music, seeing him creating his vision with his mates gave you a whole new understanding of literally everything. He was able to show you new things even after 2 years being in a relationship with him and you loved him for it, lived for it.

- You saw him at his lowest but also the highest point while creating this masterpiece and you were with him all along. You supported him and it meant the world to him, you knew it. He showed you that with words, with cute little actions.

- Yeah, you have to admit that sometimes it was a bit too much and it was hard for you to accept everything not that you should’ve accept everything. Even if you knew that he was working on a precious piece of his soul you weren’t blind. You saw that he was suffering inside. He needed to do this but the ache in your heart still was there it was really frightening sometimes.

- This creative process was a roller coaster for everybody. For him and for you too.

- He was overworking himself and sometimes he didn’t even notice it, which hurt you even more because half of your soul was him and seeing him like that was terrible. After creating and living in Hotel Diablo you knew it would come to this but really living it was different.

- You spent a lot of time alone too because he was on his feet 24/7 and slowing down never was an option for him. Yeah you knew that he was in love with music (beside you) but it still hurt like hell when you just couldn’t find him next to you when you needed him, when you were expecting him to be there.

- Even if you were with him in the last 2 years you still couldn't humanly imagine how he could manage being up and awake ALL THE TIME. Oh yeah... you knew how he could do that but you preferred not to think about it. He knew that his health wasn't at its peak and that you were mad at him because of it. He didn't accept worries from nobody... but you were different. Cliche or not.

- Sometimes but nowadays most of the time you just wanted to slap his beautiful face to beat some sense into him even if you knew it was a mission impossible. But not just he was who needed his other half... you needed him too and didn't want to lose him, not in a million years.

- The day when he finally showed the finished album to his label he wanted you to be there with him but your boss thought otherwise because he sent you to San Francisco the day before for a 2 day job. Your heart ache because you really wanted to be there with him and even if he didn't admit it he was a little but disappointed too.

- So you did everything humanly possible to get the work done in the shortest imaginable time, that's how you ended up on a train at 4am without getting any sleep just to get back in time to Los Angeles to be with him. He didn't know anything about it.

- You didn't even get home, you just cought an uber and with your suitcase and everything you were headed to Interscope.

- The only person who knew about your surprise appearance was Slim and he knew if he told anything to Colson you would gladly kill him with your bare hands without even thinking or blinking.

- You never got out of a car this fast because you got there exactly 5 minutes before them. (It was 10am and having Colson up at this time was a miracle to begin with but you did your own miracle too to be there on time.)

- 'I thought I will have to show them myself the album. You are late' when he entered the floor where the conference room was, you waited him there casually sitting on the couch not showing that it was hard even to breathe for you because you had to be that fast and you just fell to the couch a minute before. You tried to play it cool so you did.

- Not even saying a word as you stood up he brought you in his arms and hugged you like he hadn't seen you in ages. He had his girl with him.

- 'Am I dreaming?' he kissed your cheek as he let himself see your smiling face. For a brief moment he forgot why he was in that building.

- 'I know I'm your dream girl... but no, you are not.' you answered him smiling, biting your lip as you laced your fingers together not engaging in any pda because first: you two hated that, second: you had company and he had work to do, important work. 'But maybe I'm... because I haven't slept in the last 48 hours and I'm running on like 4 coffees' you murmured and when Slim gave you your new coffee you corrected yourself taking a sip from it. 'five and counting... '

- 'Good luck. I'M PROUD OF YOU AND I LOVE YOU' you told this to his lips as you sat down on the couch and he took his seat at the end of the big conference table. Everyone was ready, more than ready.

- He was living his best life and your heart was full of love watching him because he was enjoying every moment of this. He could not stop moving, you could see that he was already feeling himself at the live shows and he proved that too because he even got on the table dancing, rocking his soul to his new goodies.

- It really got your heart beat faster and even if you realised that some of the people didn't really appreciate your boyfriend that much, you couldn't care less because you could see how proud he was of his work. Sweat and blood. It was his, the best one yet.

- You even recorded him dancing on the table because it was the funniest shit ever and you knew his fans would appreciate it later. And you loved feeding them with quality content.

- When the presentation was over he could not hold himself back because when you stood up, wanting to congratulate him again (after all the other people) he picked you up and he was spinning with you not letting you to touch the ground. He was in an euphoric state and he didn't hide him.

- 'You are my world. Thanks for being here' he murmured to your neck and finally he put you down.

- 'I really am proud of you' you repeated yourself and you were glad Slim got closer to you as the people in the room started chatting about everything what was coming.

- 'You got it?' you asked him and he nodded without a word.

- 'Got what?' Colson asked cluelessly looking at you both.

- 'Nothing.' you replied as you asked him for his phone. 'But you just held yours a minute ago' he stated the truth. 'But I want... yours.' You asked politely again and he did finally what you asked him and without even thinking you gave immediately Slim the phone.

- 'Okay... I don't understand you. What are you up to?' he asked smirking at you.

- 'You... and me are up to catching a flight. You can't say no because I will handcuff you to me if you start to rebel. We are going on a little vacation right now.'

- 'You need this bro' Slim stated too watching as you didn't let Colson's hand from yours. 'I already fought with her because of this... and I didn't even have the slightest chance either... nor have you, so... just accept it'

- 'You really have a handcuff with you?' he asked the right question.

- 'Just bought a new pair in San Francisco, to make sure everything would be fine' he threatened him but you were sure that he would even enjoy if you used it right there and then.

- 'Ohh... it will be more than fine' he looked at you with the hungriest smirk on his lips.

- 'Please... get a room or whatever, but catch your flight because I think I'm gonna throw up in my mouth if I have to be with you two two more seconds' Slim said and you already were stealing the star of the moment leaving the place as fast as you arrived there.

- Maybe he had other plans, maybe the others did too but with the help of your very good friends you made sure everything would be okay. They agreed that he deserved this getaway before everything was coming and A LOT was coming. He needed that recharge and so did you.

- You managed to rent a beach house probably in the middle of nowhere and that place was exactly what you two needed. No internet, no people just the two of you and the calming sound of the ocean.

- Yeah, both of you were and still are the people who can't really sit in a place for more than a minute, because you had to do something but once in a while it was good just to... be. Because you just bought 'tickets to my downfall' and before all the craziness you had to remind him that he is a human being and if he loses his power he could not spread the energy to anybody else... not even himself.

Tag list (write me if you wanna be on it❤)

@no-shxt-sherl @kiss-yall @bakerkells @backoftheroomandnotbelonging @mgk-rooklover1997 @just-a-normal-fangirl18 @southernmgkpunk @thegunnerkelly @findingmyth @painkillerash @rosesinmars @rosegoldrichie @pinksocktingz @itjustkindahappenedreally @cclynn88 @bluehairedtracii

[airis-paris14]

Human Nature 2

Summary:T’Challa’s got a secret and he’s tired of loving her in secret.

Warnings: None

A/N: Here’s part 2. Hope you enjoy. Let me know if you’d like to be added to the taglist!

1| 2 | 3 | 4 |

If they say why (why?), why (why?)

Tell them that it's human nature

Why (why?), why (why?), does he do me that way?

If they say why (why?), why (why?)

Tell them that it's human nature

Why (why?), why (why?), does he do me that way?

~ Michael Jackson “Human Nature”

Me: I know it’s late, I hope your business trip is going well. Call me when you wake up. I love you. Sweet dreams my love.

“Girl I know you aren’t texting him still. It’s probably after midnight over there.”

Naomi looked up as her friends chastised her. “Is it a crime to miss my husband?” Naomi cocked her hip.

“No, but that’s why we’re here. Besides, he had to leave for work like this when y’all were dating too. You should be used to it girl. You know what you signed up for.” a young toffee skinned woman sassed back. Tasha Johnson had no problem speaking her mind. That was precisely the reason that she and Naomi got along so well. They kept it real with each other, but were always there to support and encourage the other when the situation called for it.

Naomi knew she was right, she was usually right. Every time T’Challa had to go away like this, she would take the opportunity to invite her friends over for the night. They were only partially right though, she did miss her new husband, but she also missed living with her girls. She had lived with them up until she and T’Challa got married a few months ago. With her husband being gone so often, she wasn’t used to being alone. “That doesn’t make the separation any easier,” Naomi argued.

“Then why don’t you ask to go with him next time?” Gabrielle offered from her seat at the island. Gabrielle Hall was Naomi’s oldest friend. To be fair, she only outranked Tasha by a few months, but time had never mattered with these two. Gabrielle was Naomi’s roommate at Clark Atlanta University freshmen year. They instantly hit it off and with Tasha living across the hall, roommate less after her roommate left the school, the three became fast friends.

Naomi turned off the stove before replying. “You think I can?” She turned and grabbed three bowls from the cabinet. “Uh duh sis, you got wifey status now. With that big ole rock on your finger.” Tasha chimed in. “Still, United Nations stuff might be kinda private,” Naomi reasoned.

“As long as you buy your own ticket, it shouldn’t be that big of a problem. It’s not like y’all will need a separate room.” Gabrielle replied.

“Right, you don’t have to go to work with him, but homeboy be going to some nice places. Make a little vacation out of it. And I’m sure he’d be happy to have a little piece of home with him.” Tasha reassured. Naomi hummed in response. She placed even helpings of pasta in each of the bowls and handed them out. “I’ll think about it,” Naomi promised, settling at the dining room table.

“So what else is on the ‘keep Naomi from texting her future baby daddy’ agenda?” Gabrielle teased. “Well I could use some help with wedding planning-,” Naomi trailed off as her friends groaned. “Oh come on y’all, you’re supposed to be my maids of honor. This is maid of honor work.”

“But like isn’t this what you do for a living? Plan other people’s weddings?” Tasha asked. Naomi twirled the pasta around her spoon. “I mean yeah, but it’s apparently a lot easier when it’s not your own wedding,” Naomi mumbled before lifting the pasta to her lips. “Well, it should be a little less stressful,” Gabrielle comforted, “ y’all did the hard part already.”

“True, the courthouse should take off a lot of pressure.” Tasha echoed her friend. “Yeah, but this time all of our friends and family will be there. I just want everything to look great and have fun. I want it to feel like us.” Naomi explained.

“And it will,” Gabrielle offered. “It’ll be as bougie and black as y’all make it. You’re on top of your career, and so is he.” Tasha hyped. “Exactly, you are the woman who planned Beyonce’s vow renewal. You can definitely do this.” Gabrielle added.

“Thanks, but I would still like y’all’s help,” Naomi pouted.

“Fine-” “We’d love to-” Tasha and Gabrielle started at the same time. Naomi laughed.

“What do you need help with girl,” Gabrielle elbowed Tasha. “We have to choose the venue. They all offer something different but I just can’t decide. They’re all within walking distance of the reception hall, you know so that guests will hopefully participate in the second line parade.”

“Wait, the bridesmaids get a change of shoes for this part right,” Tasha interrupted. “Girl that is so not the point,” Gabrielle laughed. Naomi shook her head, “Anyway, these are the options,” Naomi pulled up the list on her phone and the group got to work. Hours later the women found themselves lounging on the couch. “Are you gonna include T’Challa’s family in this?” Gabrielle interrupted the comfortable silence of the room. “I don’t know yet, he hasn’t really talked much about inviting his family. He said he might try to see them on this trip.” Naomi replied.

“Well, if he wants them here, you should try to include his little sister, maybe as a bridesmaid. She’s what 18,19?” Gabrielle continued. “Yeah, he said she turned 18 a few months ago,” Naomi confirmed. “Good, it’ll be a great gesture if it can happen.” Gabrielle finished.

“Yeah, I’ll ask him about it when he gets back.”

“Have you guys set an official date for the wedding?”

“It really comes down to what day the venue is open. So we’re pretty flexible. Like y’all said, we’re already married, this is just the fun part.” Naomi shrugged, wiggling into a more comfortable spot on her part of the large sectional. “What about the honeymoon?” Tasha questioned. “We don’t know yet either, we have to see how long he can take off. Also realizing that if something goes down, he could be called into work.” Naomi frowned at the thought.

“I guess there’s no rest for everyone’s favorite United Nations ambassador,” Gabrielle teased.

“I guess not,” Naomi laughed. Tash sat up from her position on the chaise, “The real question is where are we going for this bachelorette party?”

“I was thinking Greece,” Naomi smiled, “Ride some horses on the ocean and sightsee. Mostly hang out on the beach. But we gotta go to the Parthenon y’all.”

“Oh god, she’s gonna turn the party into a history tour,” Tasha groaned. “Shut up,” Naomi threw a pillow at her friend.

“You know the strip club and bar scene isn’t really her thing, besides she’s already married. With a husband like T’Challa, I’d be surprised if any stripper could measure up anyway.” Gabrielle teased.

“Moving on,” Naomi loudly announced as Tasha cracked up on the carpet. “Ha ha ha,” Naomi deadpanned. Gabrielle shrugged, “I’m just speaking the truth. Besides, Greece sounds great. Who’s going?”

“I was thinking just us, and I guess T’Challa’s sister if she wants to go. Maybe, Natalie and Bey if they can get away. Nothing huge.” Naomi revealed. The bride to be again stood up and stretched. “Still can’t believe I’m gonna be in a wedding with Beyoncé” Tasha sighed. “You act like didn’t meet her at the engagement party,” Gabrielle yawned. “It’s still a major milestone for me,” Tasha sat up.

“Well, I’m gonna head to bed. Y’all know where the rooms are. Night.” Naomi yawned before trudging up the stairs, blanket over her head. “Night,” Tasha and Gabrielle called before following suit. Once in her room, Naomi picked up the picture of her and T’Challa at the courthouse on their wedding day. He was pressing a kiss to her cheek as she grinned. With his hand wrapped around her waist, she flashed her diamond ring for the camera to see. The happiness in the picture was contagious. A grin spread across her own face before she face-planted into their bed.

Taglist: @almostpurelysmut @blackbypurpose @nyneebee @hutchj @tchoking @sisterwifeudaku @wikiwakanda @royallyprincesslilly @90sinspiredgirl @strictlyashley @afraiddreamingandloving @thedelightfulone @autumn242 @purple-apricots @kumkaniudaku @queertrex @kaciidubs @halfrican-heat @skysynclair19 @dramaqueenamby @gorjiss @leahnicole1219 @kreolemami @mzbritt @yoyolovesbucky @derangedcupcake @builtalongthewayside @ilcb7 @chaneajoyyy @lalapalooza718 @ororowrites @leahnicole1219 @dopegalkk @sarcastic-sunshines @sarahboseman @shesakillerkween @waitingonafriend @faatassbitch

[wetwellie]

It’s christmas season now so let me give you an au to chew over: Eric Bittle is Santa. 

Like think about it: Eric Bittle: Goody Bag King. He would run around year after year tirelessly making sure that everyone has at least one gift. (well, the ones that are deserving. But Bitty isn’t super judgemental, so there’s not a lot of people on his naughty list)   He also encourages people to leave whatever baked good out for him. Most people do the traditional milk and cookies. Bitty just wants to see more people baking, it’s one of his favorite things to do in his little spare time.  There’s also no elves. Instead there is...an entire workforce of semi-living toys? That doesn’t sound much better in terms of labor, but I swear Bitty never overworks them. Senor bun is in charge.  Bitty adores his job so much, which is why it broke his heart a couple decades ago when he noticed an extreme change in christmas spirit. It’s not that people are becoming ungrateful, it’s that he doesn’t really know how christmas is celebrated now a days. The last time he actually observed christmas firsthand was 1913. It definitely has changed. People don’t sing as many carols, and they ask for increasingly complicated gifts. What is wrong with a stuffed animal? What are oreos and why aren’t people baking anymore?  So Bitty decides to do what he always does when he feels a disconnect with the world, he joins it for a couple years (”a couple years” being something like, 30 or so years). Suzanne Bittle and her Husband from Madison, Georgia believe that they are adopting a 12 year old boy. And Bitty absolutely adores them.

He spends the next 6 years working hard from his new home, and relays the information to Senor Bun whenever he can. He absolutely loves Georgia with its heat and it’s peaches and its rustic way of life. It’s definitely a big change from...well...the north pole. It actually gives him a bit too much of a culture shock at first. He practically begs his parents to let him do SOMETHING with ice. Bitty takes to skating like he took to baking and toy making: like a motherfucking champ.  Along the way, he learns a lot of things about Christmas. For many, it’s lost the heavily religious undertones in exchange for images of himself...or what everyone down south thinks he looks like. Jolly? yes. Wears lots of red? Yes. Rosy cheeks? Yes. Full laugh? yes. Enjoys Coke? Eh sure why not. Large old man with a big ass beard? uh... no. never. He looks more like those elf depictions than anything else.  Some of the traditions he’ll miss. There’s a lot less horse-drawn sleds and a lot more, “tie an inflatible inner tube to the back of a 4 wheel drive and drag someone behind it in the mud/snow”. And there’s a lot more collectible ornaments and less fruitcake. There’s hallmark movies that tug at Bitty’s desire to someday find some sort of love for himself, even though that’s impossible. And perhaps his favorite thing that has changed with this century of Christmas:  Mariah Carey

Holy moly. After hearing that song Bitty made sure to look at Mariah’s biggest desire for that year and get Senor Bun on that stat. She deserve’s the very best. Michael Buble is definitely strong in his heart too. Bitty wishes that he could send an endorsement to those folks. “Santa’s favorite music” it would say.  If he slipped a note in Beyonce’s present one year saying “Christmas Album maybe??? :DD”, she kept it to herself. But a boy can dream.  So the years pass and he get’s this “live like a human” thing more or less in the bag. Until he is trapped in a closet by a couple of assholes on the football team. Bitty has to spend the night in there, no one able to hear him. What’s worse is that he knows where everyone is, and what they are doing. The football douches are currently sitting in the parking lot of a wal mart drinking shitty beer and laughing about how they hope Bitty doesn’t ever get found. 

He sees his dad telling Suzanne not to worry, because the team called him to tell him they were gonna bond with Bitty tonight. Suzanne is so thrilled that Bitty’s “finally getting some friends at school”. And Bitty curls in closer to himself and wonders what will break her heart more: seeing Bitty like this or knowing that he still hasn’t found his place. Probably both, he thinks.  With no one around him, he decides the best thing he can do is rest. He plants thoughts of sugar plums and pecans and jam into the minds of those he loves.  He’s saved by a janitor named Rudy. Bitty knows his full name is Rudolph, but he refuses to acknowledge this. Not at a time like this, and probably not ever.  And his parents, of course, move him to a new school. That was that, he was supposed to start new and “put the past behind him”. It’s not that easy, though. In all his years, he has never felt more helpless. Bitty can’t understand how there are people in the world like that, but now he can’t stop seeing them in the eyes of far too many people. 

He can’t bring himself to be so exceptionally cheerful after that, so he sort of switches to autopilot for a while. While he seems fine on the outside, nothing is getting to him. He has basically shut down. The toys that he chooses to make are a lot less personal, he doesn’t bother checking the naughty and nice list. It doesn’t change the first time, or even the second time usually. So what does it matter? The gifts will get to where they go.  And during the following christmas, he doesn’t even bother to eat the cookies left out for him. He just chucks the presents with sub-par wrapping under the tree and moves on to the 300 millionth house that night.  When he gets to the homes of the football team, however, he might have buried their entire tree in coal and set their alarms to blast nickelback. Bitty can have spite. It’s Christmas morning and people are...confused. Not ungrateful, just confused and worried. Did everyone truly ask for a deck of playing cards for christmas? Or a stuffed rabbit? Or a tiny polar bear toy with a candy cane striped sweater?  Because that’s really it as far as gifts go. It lacked any type of personal touch. Children might have cried. Bitty feels like a failure and is refusing to get himself out of bed.  “Don’t you want to open the presents under the tree?”, Suzanne asks.  “I don’t really feel like I deserve presents this year.”  “Eric Richard Bittle, you are the boy that deserves the most in the whole world” Bitty doesn’t respond to her, and buries himself deeper into his blankets. He hopes that he can just sleep until the next year. 

[funknrolll]

Celebrating Lizzo, the epitome of self-love, self-acceptance and inclusivity: a lesson we all needed to learn

Melissa Viviane Jefferson better known as Lizzo has come a long way to get where she is right now. One of the most influential and renowned artists on the music scene. The pop star is standing out for her empowering lyrics, her meaningful message of self-love, self-acceptance, self-worth, and inclusivity.

The artist born in Detroit in 1988, soon fell in love with music. Indeed, as early as third grade she started forming girl groups and writing songs with her friends. Then at the age of 10, she moved to Houston, Texas, and joined her school’s marching band as the first flutist. At first, the artist self-taught how to play the flute, and then during high school, she learned the technique and eventually got private lessons. This was when her passion for the instrument started and it’s going on still today. In fact, it is not a mystery that the flute is still so much present in Lizzo’s music and live performances to the point that the artist named it after Beyonce’s alter ego, Sasha the Flute (the instrument has also an Instagram account @sashabefluting). The pop star kept studying music during her college years, attending the University of Houston. Eventually, she dropped out to move to Minneapolis where she joined the all-female R&B groups The Chalice and GRRRL PRTY. During those years she met the music legend himself Prince and became one of his protegès. Eventually, Lizzo and her Chalice bandmate Sophia Eris collaborated with the Purple One on the song Boy Trouble on his 2014 album Plectrumelectrum.

Now Lizzo appears to be one of the most confident and self-aware artists. However, all this confidence was not something that she achieved overnight. It took her time and effort to get where she is now. In fact, in her interview with CBS Sunday the artist recalls “I take self-love very seriously because when I was younger, I wanted to change everything about myself. I didn’t love who I was.” … “I was insecure about me… I was insecure about my body, I was insecure about my hair, my smile, I was insecure about my personality ‘cause I was so different I was so nerdy kinda dorky, I was insecure about the way I talked, I was insecure about my voice, everything”. Eventually, the artist managed to push through all her insecurities and became the powerful, confident artist we all know and love. However, this transition was not easy to achieve. Indeed, as the artist said in an interview for CBS Sunday Morning: “You can’t scrape away the trauma, that trauma can’t disappear, you just have to go back to that trauma and just try to make a sense out of it… I had to address every layer of insecurity… I body-shamed myself every single day” … “when I’m looking at my body and shaming every little thing about it I have to look at all those things that I’m shaming and I have to find love in those things”. Indeed, it is not a mystery that the artist has always spoken out about this relevant topic. As a matter of fact, her performances, her music, and even her Instagram page are a celebration of self-love. In fact, as the artist said during an interview for the magazine Essence: ”I love creating shapes with my body, and I love normalizing the dimples in my butt or the lumps in my thighs or my back fat or my stretch marks.“. 

Moreover, Lizzo had everyone’s eyes on her during her performance at the VMAs 2019. The pop star gave indeed, one of the most empowering performances backed up by an all-female and all-sizes dancing crew behind her. With that performance, the artist was delivering a message of self-acceptance, self-worth, and inclusivity, especially for the most marginalized groups of women in the USA. The next day the artist shared some thoughts on her performance on her Instagram page, pointing out that every woman on that stage had her story of why they did not believe they belonged in the spotlight. “Every woman on that stage had a story of either why they shouldn’t have been on that stage or why they didn’t believe they deserved to be on that stage, including myself. “Imposter syndrome” is a privilege to the most marginalized group in America. Not only were we taught to believe we didn’t belong in the spotlight, but when we finally get to a place to self-worth the world tries to knock us down. Not this time. The world smiled with us. The world sang us. The world saw our beauty last night. The world saw black women feeling Good As Hell and cheered us on.”.

Moreover, Lizzo has always taken her music very seriously. Her first solo album Lizzobangers dropped in 2013, followed by Big GRRRL Small World in 2015 and Coconut Oil, her Atlantic Records debut EP, in 2016. Coconut Oil even climbed onto the Billboard Top R&B/Hip-Hop Albums chart. However, her latest album Cuz I love You brought her to fame. Not only are the sounds and the arrangements extremely original, but most importantly the message of self-love, self-acceptance, equality, feminism, positivity she is putting out through her music is so inspiring, motivating, and life-changing.

As a matter of fact, in songs like the hit Juice, the artist is encouraging her listener to “shine and live a better and happier life”. Additionally, in many other songs, the positive message is still much present. For instance, in Like a Girl the artist is encouraging her audiences to emancipate themselves, to fight for themselves, to be strong, and to be self-made. Exactly how I feel is characterized by a quite straightforward lyric and meaning: to stay true to ourselves and to be real. Indeed, quoting some lines “Love me or hate me/ I ain’t changing/ and I don’t give a fuck. Subsequently, Soulmate is practically a love letter the artist wrote to remind herself that to be loved and to change the world there is need to start loving herself first and that as the artist sings “figured out I gotta be my own type” and be aware of her self-worth. All the songs the artist has written are an emotional journey through her memories, life, and feelings. Indeed, as Lizzo said herself “My songs feel happy, but they come from a sad or frustrated place”… “My songs are always the silver lining or the ‘somewhere over the rainbow’ moments”. Songs such as Truth Hurts and Crybaby were indeed written and recorded through tears. As the artist recounters in the interview with the magazine Elle “Those songs are actual anecdotes, like real stories about real moments in time. ‘Pull this car over, babe’—that is something that happened to me. ‘New man on the Minnesota Vikings’—that happened to me. ‘Old me used to love a Gemini’—that happened!”.

The artist has also been extremely open about mental well-being on her Instagram account. Indeed, last June in one of her posts, she wrote: “I’m depressed and there’s no one I can talk to because there’s nothing anyone can do about it. Life hurts”. Then her fans showered her with comments thanking her for speaking out and for being completely open and honest about this delicate issue. The artist then shared some thoughts on this topic saying “You realize that people truly care about you and they’ll help you, and they don’t mind helping you”… “Being in those places is inevitable for me; I’m going to end up there again” then she adds “But the fact that I’m prepared now to go to those places—and I have a toolbox, and I know I can pull myself out—is really helpful to me in my mental health journey.”.

Also  during her live performances, the artist is delivering a powerful and empowering message to her audiences. Indeed, during one of her concerts in Glastonbury, she encouraged her fans to love themselves because “we can save the world if we save ourselves first… and we can all change the world”. In another concert, the artist explained the powerful purpose of her music and performances: “I do this because I love to make people smile, I love to make people feel better… I wanna make the world a better place”.

And this is not over, because, in February the artist entered the 62nd annual Grammy Awards with 8 well-deserved nominations. She opened the event with a powerful and poignant tribute to Kobe Bryant who passed away in a helicopter crash. The artist stepped on stage in a black sparkling ball gown and surrounded by a full orchestra she performed a mind-blowing, majestic medley starting with her latest album’s title track Cuz I Love You. The next song in line was Truth Hurts and Lizzo’s long time companion Sasha the Flute could not miss. What a dynamic duo!! The artist flexed some of her impressive flute skills before the last chorus.  Eventually, Lizzo won  (well deservedly I would say) three awards, including best pop solo performance for Truth Hurts, best urban contemporary album for Cuz I Love You (Deluxe) and best traditional R&B performance for Jerome. During the acceptance speech for pop solo performance, the singer honored one more time Kobe Bryant.  ”I want to say this whole week I was lost in my problems and then in an instant, all that can go away and your priorities really shift. Today all my little problems I thought were as big as the world was gone. I realized people are hurting right now,“ Lizzo said. Then she thanked the artists for ”making music that moves people again, that liberates people,“ "you guys create beautiful music. Thank you for lifting me up. Let’s continue to reach out, hold each other down, lift each other up”.

The artist was then honored with the Entertainer Of the Year at the 2020 NAACP Image Awards and she enchanted the audience with another heartwarming and powerful speech: “ I want to shout out to all the big black girls that I bring on stage with me. I do that because I want them to know that they are the trophies” … “Every last one of you, you are the award! We are so special!! We are such a beautiful people, this is just a reminder of all the beautiful things that we can do”.

During these months, Lizzo did not forget to spread good energy and positivity leading a group meditation to promote healing. The artist turned her Instagram into a meditation sanctuary where she encouraged her fans to find some peace and calm during the pandemic. The video featured Lizzo playing her flute while seating in front of a collection of crystals and burning sage. The artist then graced us with some uplifting words “I wanted to empower everybody, I wanted you guys to know that we have power, you have power. You have the power to eliminate fear.” … “I wanted to take the time today to do a mass meditation, 30 minutes of your time, and if you can’t stay the whole time that’s fine. But we’re gonna come together and we’re gonna take deep breaths and we’re gonna join in agreement and we’re going to try to eliminate the fear as much as we can” … “ We really need to listen to each other, we really need to feel each other out, we really need to be there to help each other, we can’t be afraid of each other”.

Speaking of the pandemic, we also saw Lizzo taking part in Lady Gaga’s One World: Together at home concert. The artist delivered a heartfelt, powerful, and personal rendition of Sam Cooke’s A Change is Gonna Come. She could not have chosen for a more appropriate song for the times we are living in the middle of the pandemic. After finishing the performance the artist enchanting us with some words of hope and love “Thank you to everyone working hard to keep us safe, thank you to everyone staying home and keeping themselves safe, I love you. We got this. We’ll get through this together. “

The cherry on the top of the pie, the singer keeps being a fierce queen supporting not only mental health but also advocating self-love and body positivity, encouraging her fans to practice self-care and love. Even today on her birthday, she asked us as a present, to write under her last Instagram picture some nice comments about ourselves and eventually she reminded us to “shake that ass”. A real queen and role model for everyone ❤️ wishing queen Lizzo a beautiful and happy birthday, I will go and practice some self love and shake my ass, just as she taught us!! All hail to the queen✨

Don’t forget to show Lizzo some love today✨

Thank you for your attention. G✨