#it’s been such an emotional morning and this made me feel so much better

[thewritetofreespeech]

Oathbreaker

summary: request for paladin Tav to break their oath by freeing the spawns and their choices with the Oathbreaker Knight. Request was too long to publish.

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Astarion wasn’t sure how he was supposed to be feeling right now.

Elated? Afraid? Proud that he did the right thing or worried over setting the equivalent of a pack of wild dogs loose on the Underdark? So many emotions that Astarion was not used to feeling all bubbling up inside him.

What he was sure of, however, was that he was a little disappointed in Tav’s enthusiasm for the situation. They had worked so hard. Done good; which they usually lapped up like a cat with cream. Astarion thought they would at least be a little proud of him but they just seemed despondent. He decided that, in this effort to be free and turn a new leaf, he would be the bigger person and let it go. Perhaps after a good night’s sleep they would all feel better in the morning.

But, as with most nights in their camp, a good night’s sleep was not sure to come.

Just before they all laid their heads down a whirl of smoke, fire, and ash appeared in the camp. At first Astarion thought it was Rapahel, as he scrabbled from his bedroll to Tav, but no sufur. Instead of the devil in their camp there was a man, seemingly made of fire and black armor, with a dooming, looming presence before them.

“I have been waiting for you.” The black knight spoke as it turned to Tav. “I felt the moment of your liberation—the shedding of your bond.” Astarion looked surprised. Bond? What was he talking about. “Oathbreaker,” the word fell like a hammer in the room, “you swore to protect life itself. To serve the natural order. To protect those who would value life, and vanquish those who would destroy it. Tell me – why did you abandon your oath?”

Astarion suddenly realized what was going on. In releasing those souls, the vampires who would be lost, were lost, Tav had betrayed their oath. Released dark forces on the natural order. They had done all that…for him?

“It was the right thing to do.” Tav told him bluntly. “And…I did it for love.”

Astarion was shocked, but the fallen knight just laughed. “Love? Such a fickle reason. But…some say a noble one.” He couldn’t be sure, but Astarion thought that the knight may have glanced at him. “Take comfort in your undoing. I, like you, abandoned my cause. But much can still be achieved.”

The knight explained that their oath was broken, but that new power was taking root in its place. Astarion could barely hear him. All he could think about was what Tav had done for him. Continued to do for him. All the sacrifice. All the pain. All the ridiculous little errands and side quests they did just to make him happy. And what had he done for them?

“I wish to reclaim my oath.” Tav’s voice broke through his concentration. Turning to them as they said they wanted to be a paladin again. “I made a promise. And although what I did was right, I do not wish to shirk my responsibilities as well.”

“Very well.” The knight replied, sounding a little disappointed. “First you must pay the agreed price. Material sacrifice is required, to prove your words have substance.” He told them. “Do you wish to pay?”

1000 gold for salvation. Astarion thought that was trivial, but so like the church and religion.

“I…I don’t have….—“I do. I have it.” The vampire quickly stepped forward and handed the sum to the dark knight. Astarion glanced at Tav who seemed a little surprised. “What? You didn’t think I gave you all the coin when I was picking those pockets and coffers, did you?”

“The price is paid.” The knight then spoke. “Kneel, oathbreaker.” Tav kneeled and the Oathbreaker Knight repeated the words of their vow. An ancient, deep magic enveloping them for a moment before a new oath was sealed and Tav’s vow was resorted. “It is done.”

Tav stood and seemed to look over themselves. “Well, lets hope I don’t live to regret this.”

“Regret is for those who would act differently.” The knight told them. “I do not think you would change your choice, as nor would I.”

The knight then disappeared. Leaving them alone. “So…that’s why you have been so upset recently?”

“Yes.” Tav confessed. “I meant what I said. It was the right thing to do. But the more we go on this journey…the more I realize that what is right and what holds my oath are not always the same thing.”

“The world is full of greys and purples, my darling.” Astarion reached out to take Tav’s hand gently in his. “You taught me that. I wouldn’t be here…I wouldn’t be anywhere if it weren’t for you. I’m not really an accurate barometer on which way right is, but from where I am standing, there is no one more honorable than you. And if your gods can’t see that then more fools they.” Tav chuckled a little at him.

Astarion then took a deep breath. “Since…we’re up now.” He pondered aloud. Wondering how to say this properly. “There’s…something I’d like to show you, if that’s all right? Something out in the city.”

He took Tav’s hand in his again and led them into the city. To show them what his ‘oath’ had cost him. Where his old self had been. But, with this new lease, perhaps they could put those old selves away and focus on the new. A new path. A new future. A pledge to one another for a change.

[aeternus-art]

Some Random Tips and Ponderings With a Seasoned Shifter

with additional commentary on states of being

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ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Hello! I’m a shifter and manifestor, and I wanted to compile some tips that I’ve been echoing in the comments here and there, as well as some recent solidifications in my understanding.

I’m not new to tumblr, or the shifting reddit ((you can find mine here) I answer commented questions on there in-depth, its worth checking out pinky swear), but I am new to Shiftblr. I’ve heard that the community here is lovely, so I thought I’d give it a shot.

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My attempts to put my experiences into words over the years comprise predominantly of Law of Assumption and some other aspects of spiritual practices. While this is the best way for me, it may not be the best way for you and that’s totally fine! As always, take what you like and leave the rest. I’ll be happy to explain or expand on concepts in the comments. :)

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⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆

｡𖦹°⭒. ˚ ｡. ˚ ☁︎

ׂ 𓈒 ⋆ ۪𓍊𓋼𓆏𓋼𓍊 𓈒 ⋆

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1.There is no separation between you and your dr self, in the same sense that all matter is made up of energy and energy is everywhere touching everything.

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2. If you like imagining physical things and don’t have any ideas for a scene to familiarize yourself with your dr body, you could pick a song (that could have emotional significance to your dr self)and an instrument, and then imagine how that instrument feels under your fingers, the clothes on your body, where are you sitting, what does the temperature feel like, how does the song make your dr self feel and why, etc etc.

2a. By doing an activity in your imaginings, you don’t have to have sole hyper focus on just being in your body, it’s a little more chill. I have adhd, so i find the more stimulus, the better sometimes.

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3. If you struggle with imagining physical things, you could make a personal dr self playlist. I’m talkin manually pick out all the songs and build a playlist yourself. Music is energy and waves, and it can be an immensely helpful tool in allowing yourself to occupy your dr self

3a. I bring this up because later on I talk about afternoon/mid-morning imaginings. I find that by repeating dr self events while having an attatched playlist to the state, it becomes much easier to enter a kind of flow state where everything comes more naturally as opposed to manually thinking thoughts.

This goes off of the ladder experiment from neville goddard. something glossed over with goddard is that feeling is not emotion. Feeling is sensation. a more general, expansive version of a feeling is a state. A state, i.e. state of being, is a state that you can occupy as you are, at your source, pure conscious. Think kind of like the different eras of your current life and the “vibe”.

Once you figure out how to occupy this state (through any method/means that work for you) until it feels normal, you’re basically in your dr.

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4. “You’re already your dr self. You’re already in your dr.” -Okay so yes, but let’s talk about it because I see this tripping some people up.

Shifting is occupying one state that comes with one reality, and then adjusting your perspective and imaginings to your dr self’s state, with the intention that your drs physical 3d reality will express itself. In order to do this, you occupy your dr self’s state, and it can be very difficult if you are currently occupying a state to the point where it feels like an extremely heavy coat.

4a. I once talked about this back when I posted on here. You are not your physical body. As Marina said, “I am not my body, not my mind or my brain Not my thoughts or feelings, I am not my DNA I am the observer, I’m a witness of life I live in the space between the stars and the sky” You are not your emotions. This is why you can shift while feeling a whole slew of emotions. You are energy, ever flowing, and forever connected to everything else in the conceivable multi-universe. Your emotions come from your physical 3d body which is just another reflection, ever-changeable

A single tiny star can cause ripples across our entire universe. This isn’t just a spiritual concept. I just like to think that spirituality/the exploration of the multiverse is ahead of its science. Magic is just science that hasn’t caught up yet, imo.

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*5. Remember when doing your attempt- you’re shifting to be the person, not the place. Occupy the state of your dr self, and then experience your dr (in imagination/4d) through the lense of your dr self. That is what shifting is. You’re shifting the state you occupy (in your 4d/imagination), and the outer world shifts alongside you

If you struggle to get into a flow state (thoughts and feelings and imaginings coming naturally) with your state of being, it can sometimes be like an old truck that won’t start unless you manually give it a push. ponder on the life of your dr self and take into account the lenses you are looking through. How have their life experiences changed their view, perspectives, beliefs, etc. you can ask yourself questions and then answer them interview style. It may take a couple of times before you are familiar with yourself to just have the thoughts come naturally.

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6. If you feel like you are chasing after your dr self/dr, like karate kid learning how to catch the chicken, it may be of use to take a couple minutes to reorient yourself. Take some deep breaths. you’re okay. You’re gonna be just fine. It’s chill, and if it’s not chill, you’ve gotten through all your toughest battles up unto this point.

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7. Meditation/mindfulness/learning to be here now/grounding is worth investing in. It will do you good in any lifetime. You don’t have to sit still to do it. You don’t have to clear your mind. The mind being clear is an effect of the practice, not something to try and actively go.

7a. If I could summarize how to practice being present in an extremely short way, it would be that the past has spent its time with you already and the future will soon- let yourself just exist in the here and now. Start with feeling your fingertips and work your way up, and try to really feel the surface you’re on,

7b. If you like doing this, you can do this with your cr self and once you’re relaxed, do it in your imagination as your dr self. Look the scene until you’ve felt your dr in your imagination to the best of your ability go with the flow. Don’t like something you started with? Okay, change it. This process doesn’t need to be super uber serious. let yourself lighten the load. Let it go.

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8. An analogy for letting go because I see this tripping some people up too: If I want to pick up a ball, but I am currently holding another, I must first let go of the ball I am holding. If you (your consciousness) wants to hold a different state of being (and thus a different reality), it becomes infinitely easier for some people to have a bridge in between this reality and the next. You can make bridges with lots of things, such as the void state, mind awake body asleep, lucid dreams, etc.

When talking “letting go” “ I think it’s important to note that all you have to do is turn your attention away from the state of being you don’t want to be and become indifferent to it. You don’t have to fight it or react, just simply choose a response that comes from a place of knowing that you’re good, and everything’s chill.

You can also think of it like your mental state being a boat on a body of water and you’re only job is to relax and occupy your chosen state. When you occupy this state, you give the motor power to take you to the right shore. The boat already has its course set out, all you have to do is keep powering the motor.

"The time it takes for your desire to manifest is directly proportional to the naturalness of your desire.” - Neville Goddard. How do you make it natural? You repeat and continue to occupy the state with a brazen impudence.

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9. I personally use midday meditations/naps to imagine being in my dr, and then I’ll shift at night. I find it’s easier to be in creation mode during the day when I have energy to spare and then shift at night, when all I have to do is vibe as my dr self.

sometimes my afternoon imaginings turn into shifts- which can actually be a little frustrating when i have a new dr or one that i want to make changes to.

If I can’t sit down in the afternoon/mid-morning to do my ~imaginings~, I’ll just do it with my eyes open- sometimes it’s even easier depending on if I’m doing/what type of activity is being done. I like to try to occupy the state throughout the day- I use bathroom breaks because they’re already alloyed into the day.

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10. I am an utter sucker for pinterest (if you hate ads, tap on the three dots, tap hide, and then this doesnt pertain to me. do this to like 20ish and then the ads should stop for a week or two.

I think that pinterest boards allow you to really capture something reflective of the state of being of your dr self. I like to look through my board and listen to music during my afternoon “creation sessions” before a shift, and then once again before the shift itself.

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11. Detaching is just letting go in a different font, but with a little extra step. Detaching for me is detaching from the outcome- I use this in manifestation as well. Remember that your reality comes from you, it doesn’t happen to you.

By occupying the state of your dr self, your 3d reality will shift on. it’s. own. in direct reflection of you. detaching is just understanding this and not panicking when it seems like it’s not working.

When you are occupying the state of your dr self, you don’t need to worry about getting to your dr. In the same breath, if nothing has seemed like it’s worked up unto this point- try assessing from a different angle. Okay so maybe you HAVE tried literally everything and have for years. Alright. LOA would say something about your state is preventing you. Only you can go inside and figure it out. Acceptance of circumstances is the first step to change. You can’t change something you won’t look at.

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For me, my inability to succeed was due in-part to holding onto my dr like a lifeline, rather than just a place I visit. I was unable to occupy my dr self state, because in this reality I was forcing and pushing the process. I didn’t understand that when you want to change the reflection, you must first change yourself

I’ve found that multiple times throughout this journey, I come to the same answers, but I had to shift my perspective first to see, understand, and experience why it was the right one.

I know i’ve successfully shifted my perspective when the way i naturally approach and view things has changed.

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edit: one last little thing. a weird metaphor/analogy for my shifting process. I have a bowl that I fill with little pebbles I find (4d dr imaginings of feelings, thoughts, memories, pieces of the state). once this bowl is full to my liking, I can transform the bowl into a bag and carry it around with me (occupying the state) wherever I go, I no longer have to manually hold it. now, my only job is to just keep walking the path with my backpack (my state) until I reach my destination

edit2: a side note but i feel when applying and practicing these things, a might consistency with the practice is a good perspective. you're not forcing, and there's no rush, so you need only lightly hold your dr self

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Alrighty! That’s all for now!! As i said above, let me know if you have questions, and happy shifting!!

[synthwavecryptid]

lifeline's anon here (you know, the same one that keeps sending you asks fangirling about him). i am sorry to hear about the insurance, and about your family dog :( i have no idea how patreon works, so i can't offer any advice regarding that.

however, i can offer you this (i warn you english isn't my first language so please forgive any mistakes. also please do not mind me not using star wars' cursing or time-related wording). i hope, at least, it cheers you up a bit!

Would my love be enough, I would tear apart this world without a place for your smile. (Would my love be enough, I would carve it with my own bloodied hands).

[After witnessing a wedding planet-side, and being told that, as clones, they can't get married, Toast's hurt is spilling all over - even if he masks it. Ashe decides to do something about it.]

To anyone else, Toast seems the same. The whole day, all he's done is yap away in that happy attitude of his, zooming in and out of the camp, offering a helping hand to whoever needed it. Apparently forgetting the whole wedding debacle that occurred earlier, no trace of sadness in his expression whatsoever.

But Ashe, much to his dismay, can recognize the tension in Toast's shoulders, the way his smile tries to hide still an edge of hurt and disappointment. It's ridiculous, of course: clones aren't made for love, and much less for grandiose weddings as beautiful as the one they'd witnessed while patrolling the area.

Seeing Toast trying to get past his own feelings in the matter nags at Ashe. Identical their faces might be, but where he couldn't care less about any other clone's sadness, Toast's makes his chest contract and his hands twitch, an instinct he's tried to bury many times surfacing and demanding he fucking fix-it.

As if there's any fixing it, when it comes to them.

Clones are property of the Republic. They're soldiers to die in place of everyone else, because their lives don't fucking matter. Not like natborn's do.

And even knowing all that, Ashe still itches to make it right. As if Toast's hurt makes the world as painful as a blasterbolt to the heart; a sensation he can't ignore, as if it's bleeding out all over him, as if it's coming from his own damn self.

"Ashe! Shift's over. Go eat, or go find your loverboy. We'll meet tomorrow sharp at six in the morning to go over the briefing for your new mission."

Ashe frowns. "Yes, sir. I'll warn Toast."

"Good. Now get going!"

Toast's mood probably hasn't escaped their Captain's notice, either, if he mentions him so brazenly. Ashe takes a moment to internalize how furious it makes him, the thought of Toast's pain visible for anyone to see, spilling from his soul like an open wound.

Toast should still have half an hour to go before his shift is over, and it gives Ashe time to get rations for both of them to eat together. He makes haste, because while he doesn't care about his own ration's flavour, he wants to get Toast his favourite. It might get a genuine smile out of the guy, and Ashe - well, at this point, bleached streak to match Toast's hairstyle and all, can't deny loving him at all.

The idea that's been niggling him since he had to pop Toast's bubble about marriage surfaces again, tempting him. (Spikes of fear threatening to pierce him, a vibroblade at his neck that hasn't broken skin yet). He attempts to drown it, outrageous as it is.

But he can't.

(Fuck.)

Ashe is still thinking about it by the time he arrives at their camp tent, and thinks about it some more by the bedrolls Toast pushed as close as possible.

He sighs, and grumbles, and feels a hesitation, a semblance of fear before he pushes it down. If he's doing this, it's for the only person he's living for, reluctant as he tries to show himself to it.

His hands don't tremble when he puts down Toast's ration bar, and the second they do, Ashe stills them before taking a deep breath and continuing on.

He unclips one of his pauldrons.

And immediately thinks it would be easier to get gunned down than to offer it to Toast.

But fuck if he isn't going to do it.

If only because he knows, as intrinsically as he knows his blaster, that Toast will be fucking delighted by the gesture. What it means. What it will mean for them, and what it spells about Ashe's own feelings for him.

Vows, official register, a grand festivity to go along with it; they can't have any of that.

But they can have this.

He leaves it by the ration bar, both of them on top of Toast's side of whatever their bedrolls have become.

And waits.

[...]

PS. hope you liked it! i don't know if i wrote ashe well at all i am Very Nervous lmao. anyways. i hope things get better! maybe part 2 sometime about toast's reaction and how they suck face afterwards lololol

Anon my brain is made of scrambled egg presently but please know I am going bonkers bananas over this and want to frame it on my wall, I am so incredibly in my feelings over someone liking my goofy ass characters so much

I LOVE it, I am holding them both so tenderly, this is amazing and I will not be normal about it, thank you so so much 😭❤️❤️❤️❤️

[spaghett-onaplate]

depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed

[shiryawashere]

you ever miss your comfort character so bad you gotta go outside about it

[l-cereta]

in a bad mood for multiple unrelated reasons :thumbsup:

[burningcomputerpersona]

person: *shows even the slightest hint of interest in music that I enjoy*

me: ah yes a new victim muhahahaha

[mrsbarnesblog]

the "it" couple

masterlist

requests are open

summary: you and Rafe being the hottest couple on the island

word count: 1.3k.

warnings: established relationship, mentions of sex, mentions of nude pictures, Rafe is reader's first everything, you're both lovesick

a/n: my obsession with soft and painfully in love Rafe is not curable at this point. but like could you imagine having him all to yourself?? ughhh the things i'd let him do to me😩

Everyone knew that there are couples that, at first glance, give you the impression that they just have really good sex. Like they are so hot and perfectly compliment each other, with a certain vibe oozing out of them, especially when they are together. 

You and Rafe were that couple. 

Before you started dating, no one ever considered that two polar opposites like you might even coexist. You were a kook, but still completely different from Rafe and his little gang. You were pretty, but more on the quiet side, never showing off or bothering anybody.

Rafe, on the other hand, was mean and sarcastic to everyone and everything. It was a good thing that you put him in his place the first time he talked to you, making it clear that you are not having his shit. And also making Rafe instantly interested and following you like a puppy.

You were annoyingly teasing and flirting with each other, and everyone tried not to get involved in whatever was going on. It was your first experience with a guy, because before that, nobody was really making their shots, or, at least, you never paid enough attention to notice it, choosing to focus on yourself. But with Rafe, it felt fun and so damn easy. 

Your first kiss set everything in its place because you finally gave in to your hidden emotions. It made sense why you were always arguing and pestering each other—you simply craved attention from one another and it was the easiest way to get it. 

Surprisingly, Rafe’s rough edges softened, especially around you, and he was so affectionate and craved you around him 24/7. Though, knowing that you’ve never been in relationships before, he never pushed you to do anything, just following your pace. 

But after your first time happened in the third month of dating, after the ice melted and your insecurities fully disappeared, Rafe almost got another version of his girlfriend. 

If he thought that you couldn’t be better, then he was wrong. 

He never understood his friends who said that they had to almost beg their girlfriends to have sex, mostly because Rafe had never been in actual relationships before. But it made even less sense for him because you, seemingly, had the same energy and high sex drive as him. 

The first few times may have been slightly awkward with you still learning and trying to understand your own body, but once you got confident, you became unstoppable. 

Whether it was early morning, the middle of the day, or way past your bedtime, you were ready to have sex right away, straddling Rafe's legs or luring him into a kiss while your hands slipped under his pants.  

It was crazy how much you both wanted each other. It was a perfect fucking match to have someone with exactly the same needs. You probably have been bent over every single flat surface in the house and not a single room was safe from the two of you. He wanted you all to himself and he could go hours just worshiping your body and fucking you into bliss. 

You were almost glued together, never coming to an event alone. Rafe was so obsessed with the way you looked, with your smell, and with the feeling of your skin on his, so he always had to touch you one way or another. His friends teased him that he was absolutely pussy whipped for you and he had never denied it. They also started calling you Mrs. Cameron because you acted like a married couple and neither of you were against that nickname.

To say more, the idea of that made Rafe so feral for you, so he didn’t let you get out of bed the following day. Not that you complained, though.

Rafe loved sneaking out with you. Whenever you two had to visit a gala with your families, he always snatched you from the main room to drag you to the bathroom or another hidden place to have a quickie or to burry his head under your dress because you were too hot to resist. Yeah, maybe other people noticed it, giving you their usual politely awkward smiles, but neither of you care. 

On his birthday, you gave him the best fucking gift, which was a stack of your naked polaroid pictures. You were really nervous to do that, thinking that Rafe might react differently, but he reminded you once again why he was your perfect match. After looking through the photos several times, he literally attacked you, throwing you back on the bed and giving you the best orgasms of your life. 

Since that day, one of the less explicit pictures of your ass has been placed in his wallet.

You were officially the “it” couple on the island, with everyone either admiring or being jealous of that spark, which never seemed to diminish. Everyone saw the way the Rafe Cameron gave you heart eyes, soft smiles and gentle kisses. The way he held you close to himself, protecting you, taking care of you, and treating you like a queen.

Some people told you that it was only the excitement of a new relationship, but after a few years of dating, with a promise ring on your finger, it was still there. You still craved each other's touch; you still craved being together whenever it was possible, always going on dates and trips, attending all of Kook’s events, but mostly spending lazy days in your shared house. Sex was even better than before—more passionate, fun, hot and full of unconditional love.

Despite the gossip on the island, Rafe didn't get “bored” of you. No, over time, he became addicted to you because you felt like home, and there was nothing better than being with you. 

He didn't need any other women. And he still couldn't grasp the idea of cheating. If he had you, then why on earth would he do that? Every time he came home, the best person in the world and the best sex of his life were in that exact location, so he never complained about anything.

You were his afrodisiac and whether you were in full glam, in a bikini on the beach or in his old t-shirt with messy hair, he couldn’t just keep his hands to himself and not kiss the air out of you. 

He liked how you stayed at home, doing whatever you wanted and treating yourself while he worked. You always greeted him with homemade food, but more importantly, you acted as if you had not seen him in months.

You were waiting on the porch or finishing up in the kitchen, but when you saw him, you ran and jumped into his arms and pulled him into a kiss. It always melted Rafe’s worries and bad mood away, as his shoulders sagged in relief from being in your arms again. 

You always ended up in your bedroom, with you on or under him, while your hands were tugging at each other’s clothes. Rafe knew that it would eventually end up with him finally putting a baby in you—something that more and more flooded his mind—but for the foreseeable future, he first had to officially make you his Mrs. Cameron.

And the red box with the big ass diamond ring, which was currently sitting in the drawer, was just waiting for the perfect moment.  

[girlgenius1111]

learning curve

alexia putellas x reader [& r's nephew] r gets custody of her 5 year old nephew when her brother gets into trouble. alexia insists on sticking around even though r gives her an out. it's a new and entirely stressful situation for r, but alexia makes it a bit easier. fluff, angst, etc. this is a kidfic.

—

How was it possible? That the most ordinary of days could be just one phone call away from shattering life as you knew it. 

You should have known, really. Should have seen it coming. You were happy for the first time in a while. Happy in your career, in your relationship. Of course something would come along to change everything. 

It was a pleasant day off, the day you got the call. A slow morning where Alexia woke up way before you, but didn’t get up. Instead, she let you sleep in her arms, completely content to just… be there with you. You’d made breakfast together, Alexia’s voice raspy from lack of use, pressing kisses to your shoulders, your face, your neck, as if she couldn’t help it. It was purely and entirely happy. 

Your phone rang just after breakfast. It was an unknown number and you never answered unknown numbers but something about the call made your stomach drop. You clicked the answer button and gave Alexia an apologetic smile, walking out of the room. 

“Hello?” You greeted, tapping your foot impatiently when no one said anything right away. Alexia had put on her favorite show, and as much as you pretended to despise the soap, you were hooked. 

The robotic, pre-recorded message that began startled you.

“This call is from a person currently incarcerated in prison. All calls are logged and recorded and may be listened to by a member of prison staff. If you do not wish to accept this call, please hang up now.” 

It wasn’t shocking, not really. You’d gotten calls like this before, but not for a few years. He used to call a lot, when he first started getting into trouble, asking for money for a lawyer. At the time, you hadn’t had any to give him. Eventually those specific calls stopped. You still heard from him, but not through a call being recorded by a prison. 

He hadn’t been arrested in 5 years. And now… the stakes were much higher. 

“Hello?” The deep voice of your brother came over the line, sounding utterly defeated. 

“Leo.” You sighed. “What happened?” 

“I fucked up. I… Will wanted to start football. But I couldn’t… I couldn’t pay for boots for him. I just wanted to get him something nice.” Leo choked out. You could hear the emotion in his voice, and ignored the pang in your chest as you pictured the little boy just two years older than you, lip trembling as he promised he’d take care of everything. 

“Leo, why didn’t you call me? And ask for help?” 

“I didn’t want to bother you. You’re busy and I should be able to provide for my son. I shouldn’t have to ask my little sister for help, I should have it figured out.” 

“So… this is better? Getting arrested for petty theft and then calling me for help?” You asked sarcastically, though you understood him more than you’d admit. The need to be independent, completely self sufficient. The sinking feeling you’d get when you had to ask for help with something… you still felt that, too.

Your brother was quiet for a moment. Long enough that dread started to build up inside of you again. 

“It’s not petty theft.” He said finally. “It’s grand theft. And accessory to assault. The guy I was working with went a bit rogue.” 

“Jesus.” You sighed. “How long?” 

Another long silence. 

“How long, Leo?”

“10-15 years.” 

You could practically see the tears falling from his eyes in your head, and you knew just by his tone he wasn’t calling for money. Not this time. You could see Alexia out of the corner of your eye, hovering in the doorway uncertainly. 

“I… I signed the papers, to give you custody of Will. To make it easier to take him back to Spain with you. He’d be yours, and I know it’s a lot to ask, and if I had any other option, I would, but the only other option is putting him in the system, and I don’t want that for him. I don’t. I’m so sorry to ask this of you, really I–”

“It’s okay.” You breathed. “It’s alright. Of course, I’ll take him. Of course I will.”

Alexia moved closer, resting a hand on your shoulder once she noticed the tears in your eyes. You let her anchor you, suddenly very sure that this was it with her. Today had been the last nice day you’d have with her, and you hadn’t even known it. 

 But there wasn’t a question of whether you’d do it or not. 

“Are you sure? With your career and–”

“I can make it work.” You said. “I’ll make it work.” 

“Okay.” Leo replied, sounding overwhelmingly relieved. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I wish I–” 

“I’ll be there as soon as I can to get him.” You cut in, unwilling to hear another apology. It wouldn’t fix anything.

 Leo gave you the name of the woman to call, before saying goodbye and hanging up. Even after the call ended, you remained frozen, thinking through all the details, all the things you needed to do, unsure where to start. 

“Amor?” 

Right. That’s where you had to start. 

You turned to Alexia, your face completely impassive. It was the face you made when the team lost and you were upset, or when you got hurt and didn’t want to cry. It was you running from vulnerability, and it had been a long time since Alexia had seen you make it towards her. She’d thought you were past this. 

“My brother was arrested. I’m getting custody of his son. Will. He’s 5. I’m going to bring him back to Spain with me.” You spoke robotically, eyes fixed on a point on the wall just beyond Alexia’s shoulder. 

“Oh… oh wow.” Alexia breathed, nodding her head slowly as she took the information in. 

“It’s a good thing I didn’t get rid of my old apartment. I’ll move my stuff when I get back, you don’t need to worry about any of it. I’ll move back in there and–”

“Why would you do that?” Alexia interrupted, her face twisted with confusion. You looked at her for a moment, her brown roots growing out and the oversized t-shirt she had on. It was soft, your favorite for her to wear because you loved the way the fabric felt on your skin when she held you. 

God this was hard.  

“I… I won’t do this to you, Ale. I won’t. You don’t need this, but I have to–”

“No. Stop. We are not breaking up, and you are not moving out.” 

You turned away from her when you saw the tears in her eyes, clenching your fists tightly and taking a few slow deep breaths. She was making this so hard, but you should have known she would. 

“Alexia,” you began, your voice abruptly cutting off when the midfielder gently grabbed you by the shoulders and turned back towards her. 

“No. No.” She repeated, shaking her head over and over. “Do you love me?” 

You exhaled sharply, desperately wanting to wipe the tear off her cheek. To cradle her face in your hands, and kiss her frown away. You should lie, that would be the best choice. But you couldn’t bring yourself to do so. 

“I do, Ale. I love you so much. That’s why–”

“Then that’s it. You love me and I love you and people who love each other do not break up.” Alexia said firmly, her lip trembling even as she bit it to make it stop. 

“Alexia, please. It’s okay. You don’t have to do this with me, I could never ask you to.” 

“You are not asking. I am telling you. I am not going anywhere, and neither are you. You bring Will here and we’ll figure it out together. Together, amor.” 

She moved closer, her hands cradling your cheeks, wiping your tears away just as you’d wanted to do with hers. Somehow, she was convincing you. Like she always did. Whenever it felt too unbelievable that she loved you, whenever you became absolutely convinced that you’d tricked her or something, and tried to leave for her. She always convinced you to stay, because she knew you never really wanted to leave her. 

“It’s gonna be a lot.” You murmured, your hands finding their way to her waist, your body giving in before your brain did. “It’s gonna be really hard, especially with work.” 

“We can do it. Together.” Alexia promised, leaning forward to dust a kiss across the tip of your nose. “I love you. I’m not going anywhere. We’re going to do it together, okay? Don’t push me out. Please.” 

“Okay.” You allowed, finally giving in and leaning into her. She wrapped her arms around your body, squeezing so tight it almost hurt. 

“Promise me? No pushing me away.” She whispered into your ear. 

“I promise.” You breathed the words back, knowing, somehow, that you wouldn’t break this promise. Never before had you gone back on something you’d promised Alexia, and you didn’t intend to start now. 

—

The plane ride had been long, and though you were already exhausted, you hadn’t slept a wink. You were wide awake when the plane took off, and wide awake when it landed hours later. Some sleep would have really done you some good, but there was nothing to do about that now. 

It was really an amalgamation of all of your least favorite things. The social services office was just as bad as you remembered it. Just as… lonely, regardless of how incredibly crowded it was. It was overly beige, from the walls down to the outfit the woman sitting across from you was wearing. Susan. Even her name sounded beige. Then, there was the paperwork. An endless pile of it on the desk in front of you. Your hand was starting to cramp from signing, and all you wanted was to see Will. Physically see him, make sure he was okay. He was somewhere in this building, surrounded by strangers. It was impossible not to picture him, all small and scared in an office, wondering if you were really coming for him. 

You remembered that feeling. No one had ever come for you and Leo. 

But you were here for Will. You were here for him, and it didn’t matter too much that he barely knew you; at least, that's what you told yourself. 

You were his aunt that lived far away in Spain, that sent at least three presents for his birthday every year, and three more for Christmas. You talked to him on the phone every so often, and Leo liked to send a picture of Will wearing your kit every few months. He liked dinosaurs and crafts, and he adored your brother. Will’s mom had never been in the picture; you’d never met her, never even gotten Leo to tell you her name. It was just the two of them, and you knew it was hard. You didn’t know it was this hard for your brother, though. You’d have stepped in much sooner if you’d known. 

Signing the last piece of paper, you inhaled deeply and slid it back across the desk towards Susan. 

“Okay! That’s everything in order. It would be a lot more complicated if your brother hadn’t signed over his rights. Great foresight of him, to have the paperwork all ready!”

Yeah. Great foresight. Leo clearly possessed that. 

“I’ll go get Will! Like I said before, he’s been having a tough time, but the minute he arrived here he asked for you, telling us he was supposed to make sure that his Aunt came for him if anything ever happened to his Dad. I think he’ll settle once he finally sees you.” 

Susan smiled kindly, stepping away from the desk and briskly walking down the hall. 

The words settled something in you that worried Will wouldn’t want to go with you, while at the same time, making you so incredibly frustrated. Leo could make sure to prepare Will for this exact situation to occur, yet he couldn’t avoid committing felonies? 

Before you could think too hard about what to say or do, there he was. Walking slowly down the hall next to Susan, a blue dinosaur clutched tightly to his chest. His brown hair fell messily around his head, in a way that reminded you of your brother. He was small, wearing a sweatshirt and shorts and a pair of velcro shoes. Small and scared, his face creased with anxiety and fear, even as he approached you. 

“Here she is!” Susan said encouragingly, gently nudging Will closer when he came to a stop just in front of you. He was gazing up at you with wide, unsure eyes, and you could see tear tracks on his cheeks, his eyes red and puffy. He was so small. 

It was instinctual, something you didn’t even know you possessed that had you kneeling down and opening your arms. Will’s forehead un-creased just slightly, and he rushed forward, wrapping his arms tight around your neck. 

“Hey, buddy. Everything’s okay now. I’ve got you.” You whispered, holding tightly to the little boy that was clinging onto you as if you were the last stable thing in the world. And you supposed you were; in his world at least. 

Will exhaled shakily. For the first time in two whole days, he felt just a tiny bit safe. He didn’t know you well, granted, but his Daddy had always told him that if there was an emergency, to make sure to call you. He’d taught Will how to click your contact and call. Will hadn’t been sure you’d come. You lived far away, and he barely ever saw you. The two of you were strangers practically. But Leo had always told Will that you’d come for him if he needed you. And Leo had never broken a promise to Will before… Well not until the other day, he’d waited in the office at school for a whole hour after the bell rang. When someone came for him, it wasn’t his Dad. It was a police officer with a mustache and a mean face, and all Will could do was cry, and make sure that the police officer knew he had to call you. And though the details Will had been given were few, he knew his Dad had been bad and he was in trouble. Big trouble. The police officer had sounded all angry and stern when he’d told Will this, softening only slightly when Will asked when he’d get to see his Dad again.

The police officer hadn’t answered, instead telling Will that he was being taken to the social services office, where he’d wait to figure out what the next steps were. 

Will had waited for you, and even though the nice lady had told him you were coming, it took a while. More than one day, but he couldn’t quite remember. It felt like forever. 

But now you were here, and you’d given him a hug that felt like the hugs his Dad gave him, and he didn’t feel like he had to try to be brave anymore. Your arms didn’t loosen around him even as you stood up, and Will let himself relax. Just for a moment. 

—

“We going to Spain?” Will wondered, gripping two of your fingers when you held out your hand towards him. He trotted along next to you as you headed from the social services building down the block to your hotel. 

“Yeah. Barcelona.” You affirmed. Luckily, Will had been able to talk to Leo on the phone, and Leo told him what the plan was. 

“Bar-sa-lonuh? Or Spain?” 

“Barcelona is a city in Spain.” You clarified. “We’ll go there on a plane tomorrow morning.” 

“Is it a big plane?” 

“It’s a pretty big plane. Have you ever been on a plane before?” 

Will shook his head, brown curls blowing backwards slightly in the wind.

“It’ll be fun. We’ll get snacks and… pick out a few movies to watch. And you can sleep if you want to.” 

“Snacks and movies?” Will repeated. 

“Yes! Does that sound fun?” You tried to sound excited even though there wasn’t really anything you were dreading more than the long flight with a five year old. 

Will just shrugged, his hand tightening around your fingers. You shifted the strap of his big duffel bag so it was further up on your shoulder, stopping just outside the hotel and bending down so you were eye level with him. 

“I know it’s a lot of change, Will. And I know you don’t know me very well but–” 

“My Daddy said you’re nice. And that you’ll take good care of me.” Will whispered, tearing up as he remembered the phone call he’d gotten to have with his father this morning. Leo had called you right after, himself trying to hold it together as he explained he told Will that you were coming for him. 

“I’m going to do my very best to take good care of you. We’re gonna figure it out together, alright?” 

Will nodded slowly, taking a deep breath and rubbing at his eye with his fist. “Alright.” 

You figured that was the best you’d get, for now. 

—

“Tia?” Will whispered. You turned, finding him all tucked into one of the double beds, the covers pulled up to his chin. He was so small, the dinosaur pajamas he’d pulled out of his duffel bag a bit too big on him. ‘Dad said I’d grow into them if I ate my vegetables’, Will had said. Your brother was many things, and a good father was one of them. He was giving you a huge responsibility and huge shoes to fill. 

Refocusing on Will and not how much he looked like your brother, you smiled, walking over and sitting on the edge of the bed. 

“What’s up, buddy?” You asked, hesitating for a moment before reaching and out brushing one of his curls away from his face. His whole body relaxed at the motion, and he looked a bit more confident as he opened his mouth to speak again. 

“Do we have to go to Spain? We… we can’t stay here?” 

Your heart twisted in your chest. You thought of your brother's words on the phone the past few days. He’d repeated it a few times, as if knowing the doubt you’d carry. 

You can’t leave Spain. You have a career and a life there. Will speaks a bit of Spanish, and he’ll adjust. He needs to be with you, and you need to be where you’re going to be happy. That will be the best thing for him.

Leo spoke with a wisdom in his voice that used to infuriate you, but you’d decided to trust the big brother voice, this time. Because he was Will’s dad, and he knew what Will needed. 

“We have to go to Spain.” You confirmed. Will frowned, an unhappy look on his face that tore at your emotions. “I know, it’s going to be an adjustment. But your Dad told me to take you there, and he always knows best, right?” 

Will looked conflicted. “I like it here.”

“I know, I know you do.” You paused, thinking once again back to your brother's advice. 

Talk to him like he’s a person, not a baby. He’s a smart kid, he’ll understand. 

“I play football in Spain. It’s my job there, so that’s where we have to be for now. But you’ll like it, I promise. It’s warm and sunny and it has really good food. Alexia is there, and I know you’ll love her, and she’s so excited to meet you in person.” 

Thankfully, Will had met Alexia over facetime before, and knew that you were together. You didn’t have to introduce the idea to him, as he’d somehow already seemed to know it wouldn’t just be the two of you when you arrived in Spain. 

Will looked doubtful, and you could see the anxiety clearly written across his face. His features were so like Leo’s, and it was the same face your brother always had when he was nervous about something. The same face you had when you were nervous about something. 

“Why don’t you ask me questions about Spain? And I’ll answer them, and then you’ll know more before we get there.” 

Will was a talker, that much you knew. And so the questions began, about the food in Spain, about school in Spain, about the team you played for, and whether there were dinosaur toys there. Question after question, until you laid down on the bed next to him, eyes barely open. 

“Do you live in a house in Spain?” Will asked, his energy still in full force as he asked what felt like the 500th question of the evening. 

“An apartment, but you’ll have your own room.” 

“And Alexia lives there?” 

You nodded groggily. 

“Does she speak Spanish?” 

“She does, but she also speaks English.” 

Will hummed. “My Dad was teaching me some Spanish for when we met Alexia. He said your tia taught you both Spanish and that's why I call you tia because that’s Spanish for aunt.” 

At this, you cracked a smile, forcing your eyes open as you nodded. “That’s true. We lived with our tia for a while and she taught us Spanish.” 

“Is it hard to learn? I’m not very good.” Will wondered, his questions seemingly endless. 

“Mmm, not hard. You’ll pick it up quickly, especially at school and with Alexia helping you with it.” 

“Is she nice?” 

“She’s very nice.” You promised, eyes flying open when you realized you had a text from Alexia you hadn’t yet read or responded to. Will yawned hugely as you pulled your phone out of your sweatshirt pocket, and you smiled down at him again. 

“Go to sleep, buddy. I can answer more questions tomorrow.” 

With a small grunt of agreement and another yawn, he rolled over. Right into you, his head resting against your arm. It was indescribable, the soft feeling that filled your heart. Soft adoration, even as you stilled the left side of your body completely so as not to disturb him. 

You didn’t know much about kids, but it seemed you knew enough. For now. 

Finally, you opened Alexia’s text, tears pooling in your eyes as you read her words. 

Amor! I hope everything is going well. You’re doing great already, I am sure of it. I stopped at the store and got a few things for Will. You said he likes dinosaurs, sí?I love you, I’ll see you tomorrow. I can’t wait to hug you. 

God, you couldn’t wait to see her. It wasn’t very odd for the two of you to spend a night apart, but something about this felt different. You missed her deeply, fully, needed her to hold you and promise everything was going to be okay. The anxiety of how this whole new life would work was almost overshadowed by your excitement to see her again. 

Almost. 

—

Will was a pretty well behaved kid, you’d learned. Very sleepy when he woke up in the morning, but he snapped right out of it when you asked him what he wanted to download to watch on the plane. He very eagerly selected three disney movies, and you realized with a pang to your chest that all three were movies you and your brother had grown up on. 

All three were Leo’s favorites, if you remembered right. 

And now they were Will’s. 

Not being the biggest fan of crowds, the airport clearly made your nephew nervous. He fidgeted his little hands together, walking so close to you that he ran into you every time you stopped. His hand would dart out to grab onto the hem of your t-shirt whenever anyone got too close to him, and he almost cried when the security agent made him walk through the metal detector by himself. 

You figured this made sense, that after his whole world had been turned upside down, of course he’d attached himself onto the most stable thing he could find. That happened to be you. It was just… odd. Something you weren’t used to. The checklist you’d made on your phone helped, reminding you to ask Will if he had to go to the bathroom, if he was hungry or thirsty, if he had any more questions about the plane. It was more than terrifying, honestly, that you were suddenly fully responsible for this small boy. 

There was stress, of course. But there was also something so… incredibly different in the way Will pressed his face to the glass of the plane window, staring wide eyed as the plane took off. For every moment you worried you were messing up, even in the first 24 hours, there were 10 moments where Will rested his head against your shoulder or reached for your hand, or offered you one of his animal crackers with a smile that had you convinced that for your nephew, maybe you could do this. 

—

“I can walk, Tia.” Will mumbled, squirming slightly in your arms. 

You chuckled, rubbing his back softly. “It’s okay, buddy, it’s crowded and I know that makes you nervous.”  

You’d picked him up a moment ago, after noticing how terrified he looked at the massive crowds making their way through the airport. It was a struggle to wrangle both of your bags in one hand, while holding Will in the other, but you didn’t want him to be uncomfortable. You took two steps towards the exit before you had to stop and readjust, wishing you had another pair of hands here to help. 

Alexia had texted that she was there, and though you’d assumed that meant she was outside in her car, your eyes met hers across the bustling baggage claim before you had to take another step. 

Your whole body practically sagged with relief, your bags falling to the ground where you stood as Alexia made her way over to you both, a concerned and sympathetic smile on her face. 

“Mi amor,” she greeted, softly kissing your temple and pulling you into as much of a hug as she could manage with Will still in your arms. 

“Hi.” You choked out, almost in tears at the sight of her. Here, in front of you, at the perfect time. With a smile on her face, already reaching for your bags. 

“Hi, Will.” She said gently. 

Will peaked out from where his face had become hidden in your neck, relaxing a bit when he saw the semi familiar face. 

“Hi.” He whispered back, turning his face back in towards you and shutting his eyes. 

“He’s tired.” You explained, but Alexia just waved you off, beginning to lead you from the airport to the parking garage. It was much easier now that you only had to worry about carrying Will, who was quickly becoming dead weight in your arms as he drifted off. 

“Of course he is, it has been a long few days. I bet you’re exhausted too. We can go home and go right to sleep, sí? We can worry about anything else tomorrow.” 

You nodded your agreement, not even wanting to contemplate the state of your to do list at the moment, though it was getting harder and harder to ignore. 

As you arrived at the car, you shouldn’t have been surprised by the car seat perfectly installed in the back of Alexia’s car. You’d mentioned needing one to her, but for some reason… you half expected her to forget. Or get the wrong one. You weren’t sure why, but it was just something that you thought you’d have to do. 

Yet when you opened the door to the back seat, it was all done for you. The perfect size for Will, buckled in correctly and everything. You carefully deposited him in the seat and buckled him in, before turning to Alexia, once again with tears in your eyes. 

“Thank you for getting that.” You mumbled, shutting the car door as quietly as you could. 

“Of course.” Alexia said easily, her lips curving into a smile as she opened her arms for you. You practically collapsed into them, gripping tight to your girlfriend as she did the same to you. 

“I missed you so much.” You cried. 

“I missed you too, mi amor. You have no idea.” Alexia whispered back, her hand threading through your hair as she just held you for a moment. Eventually she leaned down to press her lips to yours. You kissed her back, taking in the feel of her hands as they cupped your jaw, her fading blonde hair tickling the side of your face. 

When you pulled back from the kiss, she was still gazing at you so lovingly it made your heart burst. 

“Let’s get you both home.” She suggested, and you nodded your agreement, needing nothing more than to be home in that moment. 

—

The relief you felt when you finally stepped back into your apartment wasn’t complete relief. Because you were home, but everything was different. There was a whole other person that had to fit into your life now, and you didn’t even know where to begin carving out a space for him. There was figuring out a school that could accommodate a five year old that spoke very little Spanish. Then there was finding childcare for when training didn’t perfectly align with school, or when the team was traveling. Would you bring Will with for away games? 

The issues you needed to address were seemingly endless, but most urgently was that the extra bedroom was not fit for a child. It had a double bed, which would work for now, but didn’t leave much room for anything else. What did a kid even need in his bedroom? 

Toys, of course. 

Books. 

A desk? 

A dresser? Or would the closet be enough? 

God he would need more clothes. 

And food that he'd like to eat. 

And shampoo and conditioner for kids. Those were different from adult hair products, right? 

That was most urgent, you decided. Making your home a home for him. 

“We should go shopping tomorrow.” You murmured, shifting Will in your arms a bit as you headed for the guest bedroom. He’d fallen asleep in the car and it was night, so it made sense for him to keep sleeping. 

What time did kids his age go to bed? 7? 8? You had no idea. Another question to answer. 

With a gentle hand on your back guiding you down the hall, Alexia hummed in agreement, but you missed the small smile on her face. “I bought a few things.” She reminded you. 

Your assumption was that a few things were a pair of pajamas, a new toy. A book, maybe? But when Alexia stepped around you to push the bedroom door open, your jaw dropped. 

A few things, apparently, was an entirely redecorated room. A beautifully redecorated room. The walls were no longer white; instead they were painted a soft green. A wooden twin bed sat in the corner, a green canopy hanging the tall headboard and footboard. The bed was covered in a green comforter, a soft throw blanket, and 4 different pillows. A long shelf sat just under the large window, filled with toys and books. There was a separate toy box next to the bookshelf, overflowing with even more toys; cars and books and dolls and stuffed animals. Everything. Wall decor, a rug, a dresser, a cozy chair in the corner next to a lamp. 

Alexia had thought of everything. And if you’d had any doubts about her dedication to this, to you, to Will, you no longer did. Alexia had done what you’d been too preoccupied to think of and made Will a space that was entirely his own, a place he could feel safe and comforted. She’d made your home his home without a second thought. 

Without a word, you walked further into the room, choking back a sob as you laid a still sleeping Will down carefully on the bed. He shifted in his sleep, snuggling close to the soft pillows as you draped the throw blanket over him. 

When you finally turned back towards your girlfriend, she was hovering in the doorway, chewing on her bottom lip as she gazed at you worriedly. 

“Too much?” She whispered. 

You barely held back the scoff that would have been much too loud, crossing the room quickly and throwing your arms around her. 

“No. Perfect. You're perfect. Thank you.” You mumbled into her neck, pressing kiss after kiss to the skin you found there. Alexia tightened her hold, walking the two of you backwards and out the door so you didn’t wake Will. 

“Are you crying?” Alexia asked, her thumb tracing across your cheek bone as she leaned back from your embrace. 

You sniffled pathetically, leaning back in to press your forehead to Alexia’s chest and steady yourself. 

“I was just so overwhelmed and you did this and it’s perfect Ale. Thank you. Thank you.” 

Alexia pressed a kiss to the top of your head, squeezing you tightly. 

“You don’t have to thank me. I promised, no? I’m here. We are doing this together.” 

“I love you.” You cried, overwhelmed with love and wonder at what an incredible person your girlfriend was. You’d already known, but she always found a way to surprise you, doing something so absurdly kind and thoughtful that you were struck all over again with how good she was. 

“I love you too.” Alexia replied, swaying the two of you back and forth gently. 

There were still a lot of unknowns. A lot of problems to solve and things to figure out. But you’d never been more sure that you could do it. It wasn’t ideal, but you had Alexia and that was certainly ideal. 

—

JUST finished this so PLEASE tell me if you catch a typo also planning more parts to this but i'm VERY open to ideas if you have them :)

[jaysng]

post arguement — yang jungown

PAIRING. husband!jungwon, preg!wife!reader

GENRE. angst, fluff

WORD CNT. 695

NOTE. sorry i haven’t been posting and haven’t replied to anyone in a while, life has been tough and i hope you understand. also been messing with the themes lately. don’t know what looks good. trying.

you woke up in bed, warmth enveloping you in a way that felt both familiar and surprising. your eyes opened slowly, adjusting to the soft blur of the room. the last thing you remembered was curling up on the couch, raw from the argument with jungwon.

the silence of that moment had been heavy, charged with words that couldn’t be unsaid. you had fallen asleep with tear-streaked cheeks and the ache of his voice replaying in your head, cutting deeper each time.

but now, here you were, back in your shared bed. your fingers brushed the comforter, trying to piece together how you’d gotten there. a slight shift behind you made your heart stutter; jungwon was close, his arm resting lightly around your waist, cautious.

his breath was warm against your back, slow but uneven, as if he’d been awake for a while.

the faint nausea that lingered in the mornings pulled at you, a reminder that this moment wasn’t just yours. the baby growing inside you made everything sharper, more fragile.

last night’s argument had felt even more painful because of it, and the guilt weighed heavily on you now.

jungwon’s arm tightened slightly, and you felt him press his forehead gently against your shoulder. the quiet stretched on, the tension humming between you like a current. he took a shaky breath, breaking the silence.

“i’m sorry,” he said, voice rough, almost breaking. it caught you off-guard; jungwon was rarely this raw, this unguarded. “i shouldn’t have let you sleep out there. i shouldn’t have said anything that made you feel like you had to.”

the sincerity, the guilt in his tone, cracked something open inside you. you didn’t turn to face him, not yet. it felt safer to speak without looking into his eyes. “i shouldn’t have said what i did either,” you whispered, the lump in your throat making it hard to speak. “but it hurt, jungwon.”

his hand moved from your waist to rest on your arm, tentative, as if afraid you’d pull away. “i know,” he admitted, his voice so quiet it almost disappeared. “i was so caught up in being right, in feeling frustrated… i didn’t think about you. about us.”

you felt his breath hitch, and it only deepened the ache in your chest. “and when i saw you on the couch, curled up like that… it felt like everything shattered.”

you finally turned, shifting to face him. jungwon’s eyes were red-rimmed, guilt swimming in their depths. you could see how much he’d carried through the night, how it weighed on him now. “did you stay up?” you asked, noticing the exhaustion etched across his features.

he nodded, a rueful smile touching his lips for a fleeting moment. “i couldn’t sleep. i kept thinking about how wrong it was, having you out there. and with the baby… i couldn’t let it stay that way.”

your eyes filled with tears, and you blinked them back, not wanting to let the moment spiral into more sadness. “thank you for bringing me back,” you said softly, fingers brushing against his. “i didn’t realize…”

“you shouldn’t have had to,” he said, voice steadying but still thick with emotion. “you’re my everything. both of you are.” he hesitated, eyes searching yours as if he needed to find a sign of forgiveness. “i know saying sorry isn’t enough. but i need you to know that i’m here. i’m here, and i’ll be better.”

the sincerity in his voice, the guilt that laced every word, made your heart clench. you reached for his hand, intertwining your fingers. “i know,” you whispered, feeling the first hint of relief loosen the knot in your chest. “we’ll figure it out. together.”

jungwon’s eyes softened, and he exhaled, as if releasing a breath he’d been holding all night. he leaned in, pressing a kiss to your forehead, the touch warm and reassuring. “together,” he echoed, the word carrying a promise that filled the space between you with something tender, something healing.

it wasn’t perfect, and maybe it wouldn’t be for a while. but as he pulled you closer, careful and loving, you felt that for now, it was enough.

do not copy or repost — @/jaysng

[em-ontv]

Soothe and pamper.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x lover!fem!reader

Summary: it had been a long week of hunting, and Dean said he was fine… until you came in, of course.

Content: fluff, Dean being needy and overdramatic (and clingy), no use of y/n, Sam being the third wheel (kind of)

English is not my first language, sorry if there are any mistakes!

Word count: 653

Dean Winchester was a master at the "I'm fine" act. After years of being on the hunt, he could brush off a rough week like it was second nature. So, when Sam asked if he was okay after their latest exhausting hunt, he just scoffed, as usual.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine." Dean said, waving a dismissive hand like he was brushing off a pesky fly, as if he hadn't spent the last seven days chasing after demons across two states.

"Quit worrying, Sammy."

Sam raised an eyebrow but didn't press any further. This was like Dean's default setting—deny, deflect, and pretend like everything was cool, even if he looked like he'd been chewed up and spat out.

But then, you walked into the room.

As soon as Dean caught sight of you, his entire demeanor shifted. The tough-as-nails hunter, who moments ago had been shrugging off his brother's concern, let out an over-the-top groan so loud it echoed through the bunker.

You barely had a chance to say a word before Dean threw himself into your arms like a wounded soldier returning from battle.

"This week—oh, you wouldn't believe it!" He buried his face into your shoulder with a pitiful groan, his voice muffled against your shirt. "It's been so bad, baby. So bad."

You could feel the weight of his body sag against yours, his arms wrapping around you in a tight embrace. He nestled his head into the crook of your neck.

It would've been pathetic if it wasn't so funny.

"I don't know how I made it out alive," Dean continued, pulling back just enough to look at you with wide, puppy-dog eyes, his bottom lip sticking out in an exaggerated pout. "The food was nasty, the motel beds were terrible, and don't even get me started on the demons!"

You ran your fingers through his hair as he rambled on, completely lost in the comfort of being with you.

"Do you see this?" He gestured toward his body. "I'm a broken man."

Sam, watching this unfold, rolled his eyes so hard they almost got stuck. "You've gotta be kidding me."

And Dean ignored him completely.

"You're the only one who understands, sweetheart." He whined, clinging onto you like his life depended on it. "Sam's no help, he doesn't get it."

"Dean," you said, struggling to keep a straight face. "You were fine like five seconds ago."

"What are you talking about?" He squeezed you tighter, feigning innocence. "I was just holding it all in. I didn't want to scare Sammy. But now... now I can finally let it all out."

"Uh-huh," you said dryly. "And how much of this is just you wanting to get pampered?"

Dean gasped in mock offense, pulling back to look at you again. "Me? Using my genuine suffering to get pampered? I would never—"

You raised an eyebrow at him.

He hesitated for a second, then smirked. "Okay, maybe a little."

Sam snorted in the background, shaking his head as he headed for the door. "You two are ridiculous," he called over his shoulder before disappearing down the hall.

You sighed, shrugging your shoulders. "Well, what can I do to make it better, Dean?"

He was still leaning heavily into your embrace. "You. Me. Bed. Cuddles... for my emotional well-being, of course."

You smiled slightly, pressing a soft kiss to the top of his head. "And all your troubles will disappear?"

"Exactly," Dean grumbled, sounding so serious you had to hold back a laugh. "Exactly." He sighed, content now, taking advantage of the situation for all it was worth.

"And if you throw in a back rub, I'll be a whole new man by morning." He added, his lips twitched into a smile.

"Alright, drama queen. But only because I know how hard it is to be you." you laughed softly.

"You're the only one who understands." Dean murmured, his voice filled with gratitude.

[fluffylino]

minho helps you let out your pent-up emotions

-contains mature themes

"you've been having an attitude since morning" minho hissed out, hips brutally thrusting into you.

"that isn't your p-problem" you practically shouted. body squirming from how much he had edged you.

minho's face morphing into an annoyed expression. your stomach doing flips when he shot you a glare.

you didn't mean to shout. he had unknowingly hit that spongey spot inside of you.

saying sorry was too late now. you had your pride. yet you were still scared of how he'd react.

"it is my fucking problem" he answered back, sitting on his haunches.

"if you're in pain. im in pain"

staring down at you. lazily thrusting inside of your sopping heat.

"start talking" you threw your head to the side.

whenever you got like this he'd make you open up. you were the type to keep things to yourself.

and minho knew about it.

you had even asked him to help you talk more about your feelings. why you had gotten so worked up. and snapped at him when he asked if you wanted to watch a movie with him.

"no..." you mumbled, eyes watering. he sighed, pushing his hair back.

"fine. be that way"

"i'll just fuck it out of you"

stifling your moans against your arm when he used all his strength to rail you. his hand roughly pulling your arm that was covering you mouth.

"m-minho" you mumbled, trying to look at him. but he ignored you. choosing to keep his eyes fixed on where he entered your cunt.

"minnie"

tears welling up in your eyes. a few slipping out. why wouldn't he look at you.

you deserved to be treated like this. he didn't deserve to be the brunt of your outburst.

his fingers reaching up to hold your waist. making you meet his thrusts. you felt like all your pent up emotions were letting loose. thighs trembling.

his eyes finally meeting yours.

he cooed.

"there we go..." a feeling of accomplishment in his tone. you were crying. broken sentences.

"n-not studied...exam"

he understood. humming in response. exams were in a month and you were stressed. you'd kept procrastinating until finally you were pacing.

it was all your fault. minho seemed to notice how you fell into a dark place.

choosing to ask you. yet you yelled at him. you didn't mean to hurt him. it was all a mistake.

"what do you have to say to me?" he whispered, just for you to hear.

"m'sorry. i didn't mean to be rude.."

"no more thinking now kitten. im here" you sniffled. feeling much better after he accepted your apology.

whining as he pulled out completely.

"get on top" he instructed, sitting upright. successfully pulling your limp body on him. gently lifting you up and sliding right back in.

"always so tight for me" he moaned out. you grinded down on him. letting out little noises as he made you ride him. hands firmly holding your waist.

lips kissing up your neck and gradually going lower. until he mouthed at your tits. sticking his tongue out playfully to toy at them. eyes locked onto yours with a flirty glimmer in them.

"h-hurts" you mumbled, thighs aching. you tried though to keep your composure. how could you let him do all the hard work.

instantly his hands slid down, kneading at your thighs. easing out your tense muscles.

"relax for me" he said in a hushed tone. practically melting against him. his dick still in you.

"let me take care of you princess"

.

.

.

[starkeyisthelastname]

okay y’all, we are jumping into this. pornstar!rafe makes a big decision. ⭐️ (thank you to my bae @oceandriveab for her request and being so patient! 💖 )

He had quite literally fucked you to sleep after storming off set all because he couldn’t get his dick up because he had you on his mind. He knew the decision he had to make and that was one he never thought he would ever do and that quit filming professionally. Even if he hadn’t opened up to you much at all, and he was terrified of confessing his feelings to someone he only had ever fucked, he couldn’t continue on with this career because his addiction was now you.

You should have known better than to answer the door because as you woke up the next morning with a sore body, an empty bed and no sign or explanation from Rafe. You should have expected this and him telling you he couldn’t work anymore because he couldn’t get you off his mind was a bunch of bullshit. He told you from the start he loved pussy too much to ever quit, and you should have stopped falling for him right there. You may been acting on high emotions, but you picked up your phone and began texting him.

Rafe’s phone had been on silent when he had met with his agent and manager. He flat out told them that he was done and they laughed, an amused look on both of their faces. The ‘pussy slayer’ was retiring at 30? There was no way. Everyone knew how much he loved pussy, I mean.. what else was he gonna do? Even if he hadn’t told you much about him, or knew much about you, he knew what he felt for you was enough for him to find a new purpose in life. He knew he said he needed to take baby steps because this was all new to him, but he was tired of the jealousy he constantly felt, the way he couldn’t get you off his fucking mind. He had to show you how he felt and then would let everything fall into place after, it could have been a reckless decision but he didn’t care.

‘I don’t expect a relationship with you, but when you come to my house and tell me that I’m yours just to dip off without any explanation is bullshit Rafe. I can’t do these games with you anymore. You wanna focus on work so bad. Fine. So will I.’

You had blocked him after you sent it, whether it was right or wrong. You didn’t want to, in fact it hurt you to think about Rafe not being in your life. What hurt worse though was how this man had ruined you to the point he never left your mind, that every time he shot a scene with someone else you were filled with nothing but jealousy, and that you couldn’t continue on knowing he would constantly feed you this shit so that he could get a nut in a few times a week. Your insecurities were becoming overshadowed by fear, because you had no idea what Rafe had just done.

You had a feeling you knew who it was by the heavy knocks on your door. You didn’t want to answer and you wanted to tell him to go away. Your own body betrayed you as you began walking over to the door to answer it. He better have a damn good reason on why he was here after his little Houdini act he pulled.

“You wanna block me now?” Rafe asked, stepping through the door without another thought.

You shrugged, arms crossed over your chest as you challenged him. “Why does it matter Rafe? I should have never got my feelings involved with someone who only cares about fucking on camera and getting money from it.” You told him, avoiding his gaze. Maybe it was your own fault because he didn’t know exactly how you felt, but he certainly didn’t make it easy for you. When he whispered sweet shit in your ear it made you feel like you could tell him that you were falling for him. It would then reel back to you being afraid of rejection because he would disappear, or talk about how he loved his career too much to ever quit.

“Do you even know what I was doing? I was firing my agent and my manager because I told them I was done fucking doing porn.” He said, causing your eyes to meet his.

You didn’t believe him. There was no way the man who was obsessed with sex and couldn’t even give you a real reason on why he became a pornstar in the first place had really quit. You laughed, did he really think you were that dumb? “You are lying. You’ve hit an all time low if you think that you can tell me something like that just to fuck me again.” You said with a scoff.

Rafe did a lot of punk shit to try and hide his feelings from you, but this wasn’t something he would joke about. He laughed, shaking his head. “You think I’m lying? I fuckin quit because I love you!” He said, blurting it out before he stopped himself. It was like once he said it, he couldn’t stop the rest from flowing as he continued on. “You don’t understand how hard this is for me! This career is the only thing I have had that has made me feel worth something because I fucked everything else up in my life. This is what made me feel invincible and that I could be somebody. I don’t have anyone else because everyone pushed me away due to my choices. Then I meet you and I don’t even fucking know you, but I feel this insane connection that absolutely terrifies me. It scares me the way I feel about you, and that I really should be taking baby steps. I.. I just can’t though. I don’t want to fuck this up like I did everything else, but… I am fucking in love with you and fucking random girls on camera just to get money isn’t worth losing you over.” He told you.

This was the first time Rafe had ever truly been honest with you and you could read it all over his face. You swallowed the lump in your throat as he stepped closer, taking you by the hands as he pulled you closer. “Let me show you.” He whispered in the softest voice you had ever heard him use. You didn’t know what he meant by that, but there was no way you were turning him away.

No matter how much you loved the brutal sex the two of you shared and we’re sure there was more of that to come, this was an entirely new feeling you both were experiencing. He was being gentle with you for the first time, pouring every ounce of confusing emotions and feelings he had into you. He had you in a deep missionary position, his toned hips grinding into yours as he buried his head in your neck. “You are so goddamn beautiful.” He whispered in a breathy groan.

His cock somehow felt 10 times bigger when he went slow and it was throwing you off at how good this fucking felt. Tears streamed down your face much like the first time he had ever fucked you, but for an entirely different reason. You overwhelmed by love, clinging onto him life a lifeline as you were afraid to let him go. He had ruined you for any other man and right now you were perfectly fine with that. “Rafe… you feel so fucking good..” You whimpered, your eyes rolling back at a little as his tip kept brushing over your g-spot.

Rafe groaned into your smooth skin, his lips traveling across your collarbone and across your jaw line until he met your eyes. He knew he must have really been in love with you because he had never made love and didn’t know he was capable of such a thing. He knew his nasty side was inevitable but he really was determined to show you that he was serious about this.

“Yeah baby, say my fuckin name. That’s yours to say. All yours… my sweet angel.” His words firm but genuine as his lips ghosted over yours. The way you made him feel was better than any drug or any career, and he knew no matter how scary this was for him, you were his girl without a doubt.

The tears flowed even more as he said that, your eyes falling into his ocean ones as his cock explored every inch of you. Your lower tummy fluttered and head spun as you felt an insane orgasm approaching. “Rafe… you’re gonna make me cum. Please don’t stop.. please.” You nearly begged him, manicured nails digging into the skin of his back.

Rafe had always prided himself for being able to go many rounds before cumming. He was so overwhelmed with love, that he knew he was wasn’t going to last long. “I’m not baby, I fuckin got you. Yeah? Cum all over my cock.” He whispered against your lips before pulling you in for a deep kiss.

You couldn’t help but sob at his words, trying your best to focus on the kiss as your orgasm started to take over. You screamed his name, not caring who heard, as this moment was way too important. You shuddered against him, wrapping your legs around his waist to trap him in as his thrusts started to get sloppy. He didn’t know what you had done to him, but he found himself going back to whisper in your ear as he started slowly coming undone. “I’m gonna fuckin fill you up baby, this is all for you..” He breathed out, voice rugged as his nuts tightened and eyes rolled back at your cunt still squeezing him in.

Rafe’s groans were sweet music to your ears as his seed warmed your insides, this time followed by a gentle raspy voice whispering against your skin. “I love you..” He told you, the butterflies hitting your belly and your face breaking out into a beautiful smile.

“I love you.” You whispered back.

Rafe hadn’t said that to someone or heard it back since before he had lost his family. This was the first girl he had ever felt this way about and while the two of you may have been jumping into something that was unclear and had a lot of questions that needed to be answered, he knew this was all worth it.

[merakiiland]

teaser: fools on cloud nine ₊˚.⁺ l.hs

pairing: ex-boyfriend's rival! heeseung x fem! reader

synopsis: fool me once? shame on you. fool me twice? not a chance. it was a stupid plan, and you knew it. but after your ex-boyfriend broke your heart, you realised that payback was worth any risk. and what better way to do that, than by fake dating his rival, lee heeseung. after all, vengeance is sweet.

genre: fluff, angst, smut, college au, fake dating

warning: slow-burn romance, swearing, pet names, alcohol consumption, kissing, annoying side characters, sexual content, one-night stand, dubcon sex, cheating, dirty talk, masturbation, unprotected sex, fingering, oral (m + f receiving), rough sex, praising, body worship, creampie, degradation, semi-public sex, hair pulling, intimate sex, and more. MDNI

est wc: over 10k words that's for sure

taglist: (send an ask or comment to be added)

RELEASE DATE: TBD SORRY YALL

What does it mean to feel loved?

You used to think it meant having that constant rush of emotions, flying high on that love-drunk feeling. You felt it with every smile, every laugh, and every touch from him. But maybe you should’ve known better than that—maybe then you wouldn’t be in this situation.

You stirred, eyes squinting at the soft morning light slipping through unfamiliar curtains. Blinking, you tried to focus on your surroundings. Your mind was foggy, still heavy with lingering sleep. “Oww, my head.” You winced, cradling your head as a sharp throb pierced through—the hangover from last night kicking in. Slowly, your mind cleared just enough to register the warmth beside you. You froze as a groan broke the silence, and you turned bit by bit, piecing together the features of the stranger sleeping beside you. Well, not quite a stranger.

Eyes wide, you dragged your hands over your face, feeling the weight of the situation. Of all people, why did it have to be Lee Heeseung? You glanced at him, still asleep, his hair tousled against the pillow. He looked so peaceful, blissfully unaware of the stress whirling inside you. Your gaze drifted to his lips—pretty, plump, and the source of last night’s flashes that suddenly rushed back. The party, the playful banter, the intoxicating drinks, the way his lips felt against yours as you two stumbled into his room.

You’d only met him a couple times before last night, and yet he’d gone from a friendly face to something much more… complicated. This was a mess.

A lump formed in your throat as you looked away from his sleeping figure, guilt creeping in. It wasn’t supposed to turn out like this. Last night was meant to be a chance to forget after everything. But your thoughts drifted again—to the real reason behind your spiral last night. The breakup.

You’d been so eager that day, unlocking the door to your boyfriend’s apartment and carefully closing it, hoping not to alert him that you were here. The smile on your face was wide. You could barely contain your excitement, clutching the gift you'd kept secret for weeks close to your chest. It was the perfect gift for someone like him—a Swiss-made TRX series watch with beautiful enamel dials. It wasn’t too pricey, but saving up for it had taken some time and effort. For him, though, it was well worth it. You couldn’t wait to see his reaction.

Your heart pounded loud against your chest with every step you took towards his bedroom door. You could already imagine the joy on his face, the way he’d hug you tightly when he saw the gift. He’d kiss you deeply and tell you how much he loved it; maybe even say how much he loved you. You could feel the excitement building as you prepared to open that door.

Then you heard it. A moan.

You froze, hand clenching the gift. Maybe you’d heard wrong. It could just be the neighbours going at it again. But then, his low voice filled the silence, groaning a muffled, “Ahhh, fuck,” from the other side of the door to his room.

No, it’s not possible. Your mind raced, denying that horrid thought. He wouldn’t—not today of all days. Thoughts spiralled in your head of every possible scenario, each one more upsetting than the last. Maybe he stubbed his toe, or lost a round in another video game. Maybe he was just getting himself off, relieving some of that stress before you got here. Yes. That has to be it.

“I should probably leave him be; I wouldn’t want to interrupt,” you muttered to yourself, yet you made no motion to step away from the area. No matter how hard you forced yourself to smile, you felt it slipping away at the thought of another girl being in there with him—someone other than you touching him and being so intimate with him. You know you shouldn’t check, but the urge to be sure—to know—was stronger.

Your chest tightened as the worst case scenario loomed in your mind, the situation becoming all too real. With a deep breath, you slowly pushed the door open and peeked inside.

And there it was—a sight straight from your worst nightmares.

little note: pretty excited to release this since it took a while to work on and part of my sanity to write, the teaser is finally out of the drafts phase

[captain-bubble-wrap]

While im at it: maybe a cute blurb about Quinn x reader when the have been together for a while and she gets her period unexpectedly when she’s sleeping over. I had that happened to me before and it was mortifying and embarrassing but i feel like quinn would be sweet about it and make her feel better. Also i get super emotional and teary and stuff when im on my period and in pain so maybe that could be part of the blurb as well?🥴🥹🥰

I hope this is alright, lovie! Hopefully it checks all the boxes!

Morning had come too early.

Quinn was up before you, as was normal most days, but today you were in no hurry to get around. You had awoken to a very peculiar pain and you knew what it had signaled, but there was always a part of you that hoped that maybe it was just something else. Every single time it happened, "maybe it's just a stomachache or something," you'd try to convince yourself. However, every time it came around it was the same old situation.

It was never a big deal when it happened at your house, but you were at Quinn's this time. And, unfortunately, you were met with a not-so-nice surprise when you finally rolled out of bed. There it was, the unmistakable red stain on his pale grey sheets. You'd sigh before stripping the bed, grabbing something new to wear and your bag, and tiptoeing to the bathroom, hoping Quinn wouldn't hear you. "Of all goddamn days," you'd mutter to yourself, just annoyed with how your day was starting. A little cold water and some friction would do the trick in releasing the blood from the fabrics but still...what a start to the morning.

After everything was taken care of, you'd finally leave the bathroom in no better mood than when you had gotten up.

The sheets and your clothes would get thrown in that day's laundry; out of sight, out of mind, for now anyway.

"Babe, what, uh...what happened to the sheets?" Quinn asked loudly, extremely confused by the state of his bedroom. He hadn't remembered leaving it like it was: blankets on the floor, pillows in a mountain beside them, and the sheets gone. You had made it to the kitchen; hugging your knees to your chest in the chair at the island, when he'd come looking for you.

"Baby?" He would ask again, "did you hear me?"

"Yeah, I um...I had to strip the bed. Sorry," you finally replied, turning your head away from him.

Standing beside you, he'd take a minute from what he was doing to check in with you. "Are you okay?"

"What? Oh yeah, I'm...peachy," you said, rolling your eyes.

Quinn pouted, his lower lip quite pronounced though you weren't looking at him. He'd reach out to put his hand to your back but you'd shrug him off.

"I'm fine, Quinn. You don't have to hover." Pushing past him, you'd return to the bedroom and lock the door behind you. His pout was gone now, replaced with his sad, puppy eyes instead and a heavy feeling in his chest.

"Baby?" He asked, standing in front of the door. He'd try the knob, but upon finding it locked he would sigh. He didn't know what he had done to make you so mad and so quickly. "Can you tell me what's wrong? Or...what I did?"

By the time he had gotten to the door, you had already pulled a fresh set of sheets from one of the drawers beneath the bed and was in the process of remaking it, wishing this entire conversation would come to an end. He would continue to try and get you to talk to him, but you would simply ignore him as you kept working. In the moment, you didn't care how he felt, you just want him to stop pressing what was wrong. You'd have enough self-restraint to keep from yelling at him to leave you alone, but not much.

Defeated and shutout, Quinn shuffled back to the living room and sat down on the sofa. His heart hurt; you had never been mad at him like this before, not in person at least. What had he done? Eventually, the bed got made, new pillowcases and sheets, and thankfully you hadn't needed to do any spot treatment on the mattress topper. It was bad enough you had to rinse the sheet stain in the sink, trying to explain why the mattress was wet was something you were happy to avoid.

With the bedroom put back together, you grabbed up the rest of the linens and went to leave the bedroom. By then, you were feeling guilty about how you had snapped at Quinn and as you stood paused at the door, you felt a wave of emotion wash over you. How could you have said (and thought) such things? Hormones were a dangerous thing to not have control over. Quietly, you turned the lock and stepped out. Sitting on the sofa was Quinn with his head in his hands. The sight broke you; the tears like a floodgate after you blinked. You'd drop what you were holding and run over to him in a hurry.

"Oh, Quinn, I'm so sorry!"

He turned towards you, hearing your socked feet against the hardwood floor, standing to take you into his arms. Quinn would hold you so tightly as you cried just over his shoulder.

"I'm sorry I made you mad," he said softly.

"I shouldn't have been so mean to you! I'm the one who should be sorry!" Tears streamed down your cheeks as you sniffled, trying to contain your emotions but you were failing.

"What's wrong?" He asked, leaning his head against yours, hands still tight around your body. "Talk to me. Please?"

"I...I got blood on your sheets."

"That's okay, baby," he reassured, placing a kiss against your ear. "I don't care about that stuff. You should have just told me, I would have helped you. I could have taken care of everything for you."

"I couldn't have asked that of you. I did it..."

"It happens, sweetheart. It's natural; it doesn't gross me out, okay? Not a big deal at all."

Somehow, his kindness made you cry more, and you would dig your nails into his back, fearful he was going to pull away.

"I'm sorry I hurt your feelings," you wept.

Quinn shook his head slightly, "I'm okay, sweetheart. I just didn't know what had happened. You know you can talk to me about anything, you know? I'll never judge you for anything -- ever."

He truly wasn't like most guys, which made how you treated him earlier so much worse. "I can't believe I did that to you!"

"Shhh," he whispered, a hand now resting on the back of your head, the other low around your waist. "I'm not mad at you. Let me take care of you, today, hm?"

How could you let him do such a kindness to you when you were so sour with him mere moments ago? How was he so kind when he had every right to be upset and distant?

"No, baby," you declined, not because you didn't want him to dote on you, but because you didn't think you deserved it.

"Please? I want to."

There simply was no telling him -- no. Your silence would let him know you had folded and his soft words would leave you melting.

"Why don't you sit down while I go draw you a bath, okay?"

Reluctantly, you withdrew your hands from his back and let some space develop between the two of you. Quinn gave you a smile, wiping away the lingering tears from your cheek. His hand would caress it after, pulling you forward for a quick kiss.

"I won't be too long, okay? I'll get everything ready and I'll come get you."

You gave a nod, his hand falling away from your face slowly. Finding your seat at the island, you'd wait patiently for Quinn to return. You couldn't help but feel so guilty about having him do things for you, especially after you had made him feel so poorly. Maybe there was something you could do for him, but while you sat there and pondered, nothing came to mind.

Hearing doors open and close, you wondered what he was up to, but you'd stay where to avoid spoiling his surprise.

"Alright, sweetheart," Quinn said, walking to the end of the hallway. "Why aren't you sitting on the sofa?"

"I don't--," you stammered, finding it hard to find your words. "I didn't want to get anything...on it. Things happen...you know."

"And I'll take care of it, baby. Today is about you being comfortable."

You made your way over to him, trying not to be sad. "You're far too sweet."

Quinn shook his head, "I'm giving you exactly what you need."

"Quinny," you mumbled, your eyes feeling wet with tears again.

"All for you, sweetheart."

You'd allow him to lead you down the hall to the bathroom which was blanketed with steam. The air smelled like a multitude of different floral notes and the warmth of the room danced around your exposed skin.

"I'm going to give you some time alone to get comfortable then I'll be back to check on you."

- - -

There was a knock at the door.

"May I come in?" Quinn asked just on the other side.

"Mhm," you replied, submerged in the still steaming water just below your shoulders. Your hair was up, with a few tendril-like strands framing your face.

"Hello, beautiful." There was a mug in his hand as he approached you with another smile on his lips. There was nothing you loved more than seeing that genuine expression light up his face. You couldn't keep your stomach from doing a flip-flop feeling, just being overwhelmed with his sweet generosity.

"How are you feeling?" He asked handing you the cup. "Careful, it's hot."

"Thank you, baby, and I'm okay."

He pouted, playfully, "Aw, just 'okay'? I'll have to try harder I guess."

Before you could tell him there was nothing more he needed to do, due to the cup to your lips, Quinn stepped around to the back of the free-standing tub and put his hands on your shoulders. The feeling of his touch made your eyes roll up into your head slightly His delicate fingers began to knead away any tension you had been carrying. You couldn't help but let the faintest moan escape your lips. Quinn didn't need to ask you if what he was doing felt okay, and you also wouldn't be able to see his smirk either. Lost in the bliss of his touch, your head would fall forward slightly. Quinn hinged slightly at his waist to be able to placed the softest of kisses to your neck.

"I love you," he whispered, just loud enough for you to hear.

Goosebumps surged over your bare skin, feeling his breath against your neck. Now was not the time to want him in that way, but he was making it too easy.

"You're teasing me," you whined, your eyes still closed, but enjoying every single second of him on your skin.

"But do you feel good?"

"Mhm."

He grinned, placing, in quick succession, several more from your ear down the curve of your neck. "Is there anything I can get you?"

"No, baby, you've done more than enough," you replied, nearly breathless. "Thank you."

"You let me know when you're ready to get out, okay?"

"Maybe another ten minutes, maybe?"

Quinn nodded, letting his fingertips trail across your shoulders as he moved back towards the door. "Take your time."

Almost like he had set a timer, Quinn came back within ten or so minutes, a towel and stack of clothes in his arms.

"Fresh out of the dryer, sweetheart."

"Oh, Quinn," you said, taken aback by his kindness.

"Just trying to help."

- - -

The warm towel and clothes had been a nice transition from the bath water and had been something that hadn't crossed your mind to do or ask for. Just the thought of it again made you smile. It had been several minutes since Quinn had came to check on your which made you wonder what he could be up to now. Knowing him, it would be something for sure.

He had brought you one of his hoodies, a t-shirt, some leggings, and a pair of thick fuzzy socks; your usual "time-of-the-month" outfit. Quinn's observance was unapparelled. You dressed quickly and dealt with things in the bathroom before seeing what your man was up to.

"Quinny?" You asked, looking around.

"I was just about to see if you were alright!" He replied, meeting you in the hall. "How was your bath?"

"Wonderful," you said, giving him a kiss. "Thank you."

Quinn smiled, taking your hand. "One more thing for you."

"Baby," you whined, feeling he had simply done enough, but you'd follow him without hesitation.

There, in the living room, Quinn had the sofa all set up. There were pillows from the bedroom, a couple quilts folded back with a heating pad sandwiched in, and a towel down covering the cushion. Your eyes had migrated there first, which brought on a wave a guilt.

"It's just to ease your mind, baby," Quinn said, seeing the change in your mood. "I don't care what happens to the sofa. It's just stuff. This wasn't to make you feel bad."

"Okay," you mumbled, trying to stay happy, letting go of his hand to sit down. Quinn was quick to tuck you in, after placing the heating pad against your stomach.

"Baby, you don't have to do everything."

He just laughed, "I know. Here's the remote-thing for that, I didn't know how hot you would want it."

"It's perfect, sweetheart, thank you."

Quinn sat down beside you, his hand finding yours as you leaned your head on his shoulder. "Lunch?"

"Okay," you said yawning. That bath had really drained your energy, but everything had been perfect. "What do you want?"

"What do /you/ want?" He pressed, giving your hand a squeeze.

"I want a nap."

Quinn laughed again. He couldn't deny that a nap sounded pretty good to him as well. "Well, let's order something and we'll curl up for a nap?"

It was too late for you, because as soon as your eyes came to a close, hand-in-hand with Quinn, you were out.

"Babe?" He asked when you didn't answer him about lunch, but all he could do was chuckle quietly. "Nap first, then lunch. Fine with me."

[nathaslosthershit]

Emotional Times (OP81)

Summary: Pregnancy was a time full of hardships. Hormones on high, stress of the incoming baby, and all the sudden changes were what this father-to-be was expecting, ready to face. What he wasn't expecting was having to battle his pregnant wife's newfound sensitivity to everything that could have her emotions changing in an instant Part of my summer event!

It has been a rough time in the Piastri household. Oscar loves his wife, he really does, and god, would he move heaven and earth for her. In her current state though, she doesn’t know whether she wants heaven or earth and if he brings her the wrong one she will burst into tears, but if he brings her the right one, she will also burst into tears.

There wasn’t any winning. During moments like that, he just had to remember that greener grass on the other side. The other side where he finally has his own little family. 

The couple had also both made peace with the fact he would be traveling a lot during the season and she would have to spend some of her pregnancy by herself. It was easy while she could travel in the beginning but a few complications cut her ability to do so off much sooner than the two would have liked. And she did not like this. 

“Honey, please, get back in bed.” Oscar begged at 5 am. He was ready to head off to his next race, when he unintentionally woke his very pregnant wife up after giving her a kiss on the forehead.

This made her frustrated, she had finally gone to sleep after spending so much of the night tossing and trying to turn and the minute she drifts off he has the audacity to-

Then she realized he kissed her on the forehead because he was leaving her. 

Now, she was holding onto him by the front door, in absolute tears at the thought she would have to do another race weekend alone.

“Please, my love. It absolutely breaks my heart to leave you but I have no choice. Don’t make this harder for me…” Oscar tried to reason with her, but he was on the brink of tears himself seeing how much she wanted him to stay, realizing how much he wanted to stay. But he couldn’t.

“Oscar, I can’t do it, please it's so hard being here all alone. I know it's cliché but I can’t even tie my shoes. How am I supposed to do anything? How am I supposed to take care of a baby when I can’t take care of myself?”

He knew she wasn’t trying to guilt him into staying or make him feel bad if he did leave. These were real concerns she had voiced before. But he felt so helpless in this moment, almost as helpless as she felt constantly. 

The realization hit him, he couldn’t leave her like this. It was unfair to both of them. He had to do something.

“I will figure something out, don’t worry, Honey. Go back to sleep and when you wake up it will be much better, I promise.” He really shouldn’t promise that when he didn’t have a plan, but he couldn’t come up with one while she was sobbing into his neck and holding on for dear life.

With a few hiccups and a small nod, he wiped her tears and gave her a kiss as he left the apartment. 45 minutes later than he would have liked, hopefully the group he was sharing the jet with didn’t leave him behind. 

She already felt better when she woke up, having gotten hours of sleep, finally. It felt so good to wake up well rested and without that many aches. Nothing could bring her mood down.

Except when she couldn’t get in touch with her husband.

She knew he was traveling, that the minute his plane landed he was off to start preparing for the upcoming race. But no calls and no messages soured her mood real fast. 

She tried to shake it off, she went about her day trying not to dwell on it, trying not to send him threatening messages for not answering her the second she texted him. 

A call woke her up the next morning, well it was noon but she still wasn't pleased. Not till she saw who was calling.

“Oh sweetheart! How are you?” Nicole Piastri asked.

If there was one person she loved almost as much as her husband, it was his mother.

“I’m okay, haven’t heard from Oscar much, that asshole.” she grumbled.

“Oh I remember the days, that's why I have my twitter afterall.” Nicole said, making her laugh. It was sometimes a wonder how her husband was Nicole’s son. 

“Yeah well i-”

“Oh crap, honey, I have to go! But I’ll see you soon, okay? Hang tight!” Nicole said before hanging up.

She didn’t have time to dwell on the abrupt end to the call as a knock came from the front door. Connecting the two, she wobbled as fast as she could to the door, where her mother-in-law stood. 

And then she burst into tears.

“Oh, he told me you were going to do that but I didn’t know it would be that immediate,” Nicole said as she went to hug her. 

Through the tears and snot, she asked “Oscar? What do you mean?”

“He said he texted you, gosh, he is the worst at communication for someone who spends so much time on his phone,” she frowned at her daughter-in-law.

Quickly opening her texts, she saw he had messaged her a few hours ago:

Oscar: I told you I had a plan, just a few more hours, my love. I can’t wait to see you in a few days :) 

Thus the mother and daughter-in-law started their girls weekend. My god, it was exactly what she needed. As much as she loved her husband, this was 1000 times better than what she would have done if he was here. And despite how much she missed him, the weekend seemed to fly by. 

Oscar: How is she? I am only half an hour away.

Nicole: Currently napping, but she has been good! Relaxed and happy. Hasn’t even cried in the past few days

Oscar: Wow, I am almost offended she didn’t miss me more?

Nicole: She needed girl time, you couldn’t give that to her sweetheart. She also needed someone who actually knew how to correctly do laundry.

Oscar: Alright, mum, nice talking to you. I'll be back soon, please don’t turn my wife against me.

Nicole: 😉

Just as he did when he was leaving, Oscar unintentionally woke his pregnant wife up when kissing her on the forehead. Unlike when he was leaving, she didn’t get upset. She was too happy to see him that the thought hadn’t even occurred to her.

Holding him in a death grip, she recounted all she did while he was gone. She couldn’t really go out much at this point, so hearing his mom still found a way to make her weekend enjoyable was a relief. 

“I haven’t even cried over something stupid in a while!” She said as she finished her account of the past few days.

“I heard, I am glad you are feeling so much better, my love. I hated being gone but hearing you had a wonderful time makes me so happy.” He said as he began to tear up, thinking about how awful it was to leave. 

“Oscar, come on, just cause i'm not as emotional doesn’t mean you have to make up for it” She teased.

After pestering him about how his time away was, he remembered he had picked up something for her, and while he bought it thinking he would use it to stop her tears, why not just give it to her while she is this happy.

“I picked up your favorite,” he said as he reluctantly handed her the food he got, shuddering at the unusual combination she loved oh so much.

The sound of her son gagging as he watched his wife eat had Nicole coming into the room to investigate. The picture of her pregnant daughter-in-law, happy as a clam while she ate her food, and her son holding his nose and trying to stop himself from throwing up was a sight she committed to memory and knew she was going to bring up for years to come. 

“What have you got there?” Nicole asked, knowingly making Oscar gag again as he was reminded of the food combination.

“Cottage cheese and ketchup,” she answered. Instead of disgust, the couple was confused by the light bulb moment Nicole seemed to have.

“My goodness! That is what I craved with Oscar. Gross to think about now but I loved it then.”

“What! You never told me this?” Oscar asked, astounded he would be the reason his mom had to eat a combination that disgusted him so.

“I was saving it for the next podcast I did. Think I’ll have to talk about this moment too.” His mom teased. 

Rolling his eyes, he turned to his wife and immediately clocked in on the frown beginning to form.

Both mother and son had the same exact thought: Uh oh.

“You- you craved the same thing?” She stuttered out.

“Um, yeah? You okay, Honey?” Nicole asked, now on edge at the incoming storm.

Seconds of silence went by but were soon disrupted by the sounds of his wife’s cries as she took in the information.

“Baby, what's wrong? Why are you upset at that?” Oscar questioned as he went to rub her back in comfort.

“Its just- that is so sweet, and the thought that- that I could be having the same cravings, is just- I just-” His wife didn’t get to finish her sentence as more wails came out, followed by hiccuping.  

Nicole and Oscar looked at each other in alarm as they realized that this was most likely the consequence of a weekend with no breakdowns. They had a long night ahead of them.