#it’s always been deeply horrifying to me and j tried not to think about it
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aldamiriel-necrococo · 2 years ago
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You know what I think it was actually very sexy and on brand of me to be the body horror I wish to see in the world by having so so many teeth growing in my abdomen
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mecachrome · 6 months ago
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wahh thank u @scrappyracers for the tag i enjoyed ur answers a lot :') f1 tag game...
Who is your favorite driver?: i am an oscarybro first & foremost <3 he's the only driver i truly rep because honestly i don't think i have the bandwidth for more even if i wanted to/tried!!
Do you have other favorite drivers?: i would basically put alex below oscar in his own little tier and then it's just like [WALL]... but i'm also fond of yuki + lando + lewis and respekt maxv :') the rest of the grid i honestly don't think about 99% of the time LOL not in a bad way but because i barely have enough energy for My Guys as is u know
Who is your least favorite driver?: 😔 i feel bad sharing hateurisms on my family friendly blog. 
Do you pull for drivers or do you like teams as well?: def drivers first but i genuinely like mclaren as a racing outfit so that helps!!! when oscar was still in alp i suffered so much because of it being a deeply unserious team and even back then when the cracks were still forming this was fairly evident because i had a rossi agenda, so i was like wegghhhh i guess i can enjoy a williams stint/swallow down alpine content for him. 😔 and then he replaced [answer to question above which at the time hindered my mcl support significantly] and i got the ultimate driver pairing at a team i'm actually quite fond of ❤️🤍🖤
If you like teams, what team do you pull for?: any1 else papayapilled??? 🧡
How long have you been into F1?: a little over 2 years!!! how i managed to get into this sport via an inactive reserve driver i don't know.....
What got you into F1?: several friends were getting into it & were reading mxl fic & things of that nature and even though i wasn't really invested in any of the ships presented i ended up biting as well... but fsr i was not compelled by most f1 content / barely watched dts and instead got reeaaally into feeder series, i think perhaps because at the time i was fascinated by prospect projections + mapping / modeling career trajectories + the idea of "ceilings" in hockey and was watching a ton of jr hockey so it kind of translated over and i got to enjoy masterclasses like litr the most broken broadcast streams ever of kimi driving off into the distance in adac f4. But anyway... i also watched chasing the dream and became obsessed with oscar from that and the rest was history 😌🐨🧡
Do you enjoy Fanfic/RPF?: i definitely read it!!! RPF Is Fine etc. i've written 2 effwon fics very poorly and that's it but i peruse the 814 archives regularly..... i forever need to be better at commenting and feel very bad about my own shyness but i think this fandom has such a wealth of incred authors whom i am always in awe of x__x 🧡 tho i will say i'm also a stickler for the 4th wall and it mildly horrifies me that 814 are 75% public..... also fun fact 814 is my favorite oscar ship but it's only my #3 lando ship LOL. j(e|o)ndo you are so special 2 meee
How do you view new fans?: well i'm a relatively new fan so 💗 honestly i barely witness or process most fandom discourse wrt: gatekeeping the sport or dts fans or what have you since i do not frequent those circles of the internet (no public twitter / have never downloaded tiktok in my life) so i don't even know the primary arguments!!
If you could take over as team principal for any team, who would it be and why?: i should never be put in charge of anything. now i'm just trying to think strategically like okay where would i want to live but even then i have no idea... 
Are your friends and family into F1 as well?: my family could not care less but def the former !!! 💗 going to my 2nd gp soon with my beloved chirlie friend who has been with me thru k-pop fandom for like 8 years now hehe
Are you open to talking to other fans/making friends?: yes i'm just very shy & have multiple anxiety disorders Amongst other things so pls forgive my neuroticism 😭😭😭 but i love 2 have discussions.... oscar piastri lore is my passion in fact <3
0 pressure tagging @bright-and-burning @piastrisms @miamimaiden @goingxmissing If u would like !!! these r fun qs i like hearing about people's fandom journeys/experiences hehe :')
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thedarkermelody · 1 month ago
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teehees and grabs your hands, we'll go into the hole. together. [still tf one spoilers under here folks]
[i'll also use galvatron for alt megas] ough i like to imagine the Matrix is a Matrix, no matter the universe, yeah its' not the one that's suppose to be there, but even if it's a square hole the triangle peg can still go in. in a universe where OP didn't rise, i can imagine that resources would eventually run fully dry and make this a Cybertron that is not viable for life [maybe Primus is in statis following being mined through dry. Hollowed out, maybe it hasn't tried to find another Prime seeing what's lurking on them or maybe currently just not anyone suitable for Prime right now.]
Anyways, could always bring back the star eater machine thanks only thing in bayverse that seemed cool something those science minded put their backs all in to build in a world desperate for energy source. [Insert losing the light and being lost in the dark metaphor here.]
to be fair i think the thing that could have Optimus off guard enough to kidnapped, is a weakness that Galvatron would see and pounce on after going over those glitched memory files over and over for how to do this. -misses his friend, he misses him so badly it's like someone craved out his chest- just like pax's when he let him go- hes gone gone gone-
Something he and this Prime share. Unfortunately just cause they are enemies doesn't mean Megs and OP don't have an understanding of the other still even when it's something only built from violence and war now. Though I think he'd be caught off guard he'd only realize this isn't Megatron when it's too late to get away.
Now back onto Alt world to change topics, if the Quintessons aren't a problem, I feel like that it's fully possible the Decepticons would have started galactic level hunting to get energy for their society. If they are at war, then they are hard pressed to keep the assault up and ensure they have power which. Oof. That would make anyone insane enough to kidnap your dead friend from another universe if you thought they could help, even if you weren't a Megatron (who can never to anything but the extreme cause he is Just Like That)
The thing is Galvatron has ruled in this world for a long time, his broken trust from Sentinel and the deeply personal way he took it out would have influenced society you cannot tell me OP would not be at risk from some zealous loyalists who think the Prime has to Die. And don't know the Matrix can just fuck off at Will so what's the big deal [Slaps Tarn on the ass, this bitch can fit so much overzealot in him- /j] it would piss off Galvatron though and give him a chance to show off just how off the deep end he's gone in reaction to someone trying to kill Optimus, who would be horrified at someone being killed like that. Cause Optimus is a good person.
[Do I think Sentinel deserved to live? No he ruined many lifes, killed all the leaders of the planet, demoted a whole sub class of people to slaves/lesser then human with his actions. But it wasn't wrong of Pax to not want him to be murdered, to not want to declare themselves judge jury executor. Points at G1 Movie where that exact scenario is how we meet a Quintesson] Optimus though be in an awful scenario, cause he cares for his people, fellow transformers. If he can call the energon to flow on his world and make their lifes better, you know he would, he would so fast if he hadn't be in a war and understood just who would be in control of that Energon. that conflict would hurt cause OP has been fighting megatron and knows the depth of what power a megatron could do with a steady energy source in war. Now consider him having to think about Galvatron, waging interdimensional wars, if he isn't already commiting galactic ones.
The idea of Orion Pax getting doorstuck so no Prime! hit me like a truck i felt bad about how funny it was. Buuuuuuut you have to also consider in that route, just how BAD IT IS for this Universe's OP. To him he tried to stop his friend from killing Sentinel and was shot through by him, and then his friend dropped him to his death. That's the last memory he'd have coming back into this dimension in the present. He'd be up against his own friend whose been established and it be. Rough. I do love a good Hot Rod story too though, the idea of Prime managing to escape while on the run from Galvatron, and ends up in meeting a collection of bots who has a transformers that makes him think of him and D-16 back when they were still innocent...
Also for the energon going dry on universe one, i think that's a fun idea to think about! If it doesn't immediately stop but starts to slow, people would get tipped them off and cause a crisis cause what happened to Optimus! This panic being why Decepticons learn Optimus has gone missing missing cause you know the Autobots would try and hide that shit as long as they could while overturning everything looking for their leader. Megatron breaking the door to the Autobot base like that one big bird door meme: WHERE IS OPTIMUS PRIME!!!! The autobots: torn between the girlie screamers and the shoot first shoot second lot at this happening
includes transformers one spoilers under this i have thoughts that need an outlet after seeing the movie [after writing: this is basically a fanfic idea at this point. whoops]
the birth of megatron was so fucking hard hitting, the utter disgust megatron associates with primes thanks to sentinel that his exe friend now reps? ow anyways just, scenario idea where in sometime with the civil war between autobot and decepticons has been on for awhile you got megatron waking one day to himself as the supreme decepticon emperor of cybertron. the idea he was just fighting to take cybertron is almost distance in this strange scenario, just out of reach as he basks in his empire. before he thinks of Optimus. and of course he does, though he would love nothing more to crush and finally destroy the system of primes, all their lies and threat to his power forever, the problem with that lies in one thing. the matrix. sentinel pried it from zeta only for it to flee. megatron is better then sentinel that monster he is superior and right but the whims of a god just whisking away their source of energy is one he knows he cannot overcome for now until they learn to trap the matrix for good without a prime needed. but of course his call for prime has a reminder they smelted sentinel and buried him deep in the earth to rot for his crimes after his execution as justice to the miners who died. what? he wants to know where optimus prime is! which sparks confusion. A. New Prime? no one questions their lord to his face other then starscream asking if he's having hallucinations about a new prime since he didn't get to savor ending the traitor. of course megatron wouldn't like that kind of quip or snipe remark starscream might say, and choke out the seeker as his thoughts clash Optimus who? the thought is so wild so rage inducing cause OPTIMUS! OPTIMUS PRIME! HIS VILE ENEMY. The- -the traitor he dropped to his death? megatron throws starscream and orders everyone out, who run from their unpredictable leader as he sits on his throne clutching his helm. prime. PRIME DAMMIT. there isn't a prime, he killed the last one and ended their lies, WHERE IS OPTIMUS-! his thoughts fight against each other as conflicting memories clash against another mech's who finds it hard to even think of prime and his rise. which is insane- the traitor died for daring to defend sentinel- OPTIMUS ROSE with his DEATH- he killed elita and b and took the helm of cybertron- No, Prime came and fought him and banished him like the coward he is- never was willing to finish the job which is why he died- the clarity of just what the other voice in his head saying hits as hard as the day he learned his life was a lie. He killed Orion Pax and no one rose in his place. The Primes are dead in this world. and doesn't that hurt, the owner of this body starts to rips through the memory files that has be inserted in his helm for the one of a new enemy rising, sees video of him with the matrix and thinks 'why.' megatron fights back against, seeing a world never had energy flow again, everyone who dared voice against him and rein having tcogs ripped out for the victims of the system to reclaim something ravenous claws at the memories of megatron, of life flowing on their world again, of orion pax optimus prime and what they had stolen, taken, refused to them, their world dying without the matrix, struggling to fight the quintessons and steal back what was taken from him in the first place. but this brief event that caused this eventually boots megatron back to his own world, leaving behind a mech who cackles with a fevor that belies the insanity in them. the one on the throne rises his helm and swears it. He will have what that world has. -ending notes! i briefly considered having this other world's leader now be a galvatron, didn't follow through on the idea but you can consider it him if you want. -i imagine a world where op never rose is a very hard one for the transformers to just survive much less thrive, seeing a world where your friend didn't stay dead from what you did with natural energy resources again? would be the kind of thing any leader would crave for themselves in this situation.
-if this other worlder would try and find a way to get to that world or try and force find a prime to have that for themselves is your call.
in the case of a galvatron on the throne world, can have a hot rod in a scenario of trying to find a prime to bring underheel to win their war and restore their planet makes sense, though if galvatron exists in this one cause of a deal for power from unicorn then that would be awkward...
though a far more hardened megatron kidnapping op whose in the middle of two front war is also a very hilarious vision cause you know that guy would inspite of the kidnapping want to help this other version of his home, though he'd REALLY like to go home
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imasimpforshanks · 4 years ago
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hiii, how are you? may i ask angst alphabet for Ace? thank you ❤️
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Angst Alphabet - Portgas D. Ace
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a/n: hi hi!! here you go! OMG angst is still really hard LOL I don’t want to think about their rough life 😔😔😔😔😔 ANYWHOOOOO thank you for requesting and I hope you enjoy<3
warnings: on the letter S there is mention of self harm
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A-Accident (would they blame themselves if you died in an accident?)
Ace would definitely blame himself. He’s always thought he was a no-good demon child, son of a criminal that didn’t deserve to be alive (despite finding people that truly cared and loved him). You dying in an accident and him not being able to do anything about it would just reinforce what he already thinks of himself.
Regardless of your cause of death he is likely to attribute it to your association with himself, and because of that he will think it is entirely his fault, even if he wasn’t present at the time of your death.
B-Break up (How would they break up with you?)
His lessons with Makino really helped him develop manners and just a general sense of acceptable behaviour. So, Ace would just be clear and up front, no mixed messages, no miscommunication. He would take you some place quiet and away from others, and then he would be as honest and vulnerable as possible – it’s the least you deserve. The break-up would be very civil, you would definitely end on good terms (doesn’t make it any less sad though).
C-Crying (how would they make you cry?)
Sometimes Ace can take his teasing a little too far. Usually you can handle it, but there are just some days where his words cut deeper than ever intended (even if they have no malice behind them). It’s not his fault you’re having a bad day, or not realizing you are having a bad day. It’s just one of those things that happens sometimes. As soon as you start to cry though, he apologizes and reassures you so much, to make sure you known he doesn’t mean it and he’s only playing around.
D-Death (how would they react to your death?)
It would start out with a lot of confusion, like “what t-that must be some kind of a sick joke. H-how… w-what… they wouldn’t just die like that.” After it really sinks in that you have in fact died, Ace will just get angry. I don’t see him as much of a crier (spoiler alert – we only see him truly allow himself to cry on two occasions 1) when luffy got crazy hurt as a child and 2) when ace was on deaths door), so I believe he would react with anger.
Regardless of your cause of death (natural causes, accident, died in battle etc.) Ace would be unbelievably angry with himself, the world and you. He would be angry at himself for being unable to save you, someone he cares about and loves deeply. He would be angry at the world and whatever higher being there may be for choosing now to be your time. There are so many horrible, horrible people in the world, yet you had to die? It makes no sense. Lastly, he would be angry at you. Not a genuine anger but more so a “how could you just leave me like this? We were meant to be together forever.”
E-Emotion (what is one emotion they would try to hide the most and how would they do it?)
I think Ace tends to try his sadness. He tries to put on a brave face, not wanting anyone to see him cry as he doesn’t want to be viewed as weak or be even more of a burden on others.
F-Fight (how often do you fight? What do you fight about? Do you fight often? Etc.)
Fights with Ace, although they don’t happen often, can quickly get out of hand. He’s stubborn and his inability to accept that he’s not always right can cause a minor disagreement to escalate into an all-out fight. On a few occasions you have argued about him never turning his back on an opponent.
Your fights tend to be followed by cooldown time. Things can get quite heated (no pun intended) so you need some alone time and space to breathe. After that though, you comeback together and apologize.
G-Guilt (what is the biggest thing they feel guilty about?)
For his entire life, Ace has lived with the guilt of simply existing. He doesn’t think himself worthy of being alive. Can you blame him? It’s all anyone ever told him growing up. Despite eventually finding people who loved him for him, those feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness still remain and continue to plague his mind.
H-Heartbreak (what would cause them pain in the relationship? How would they deal during a break-up?)
During a break-up Ace is quiet. He doesn’t want to be around anyone or anything. He wants to be left completely alone so he can sort out his thoughts and feelings. He’d be quite devasted because he’s had so few people in his life love him on as deep a level as you did.
I-Injured (how would they react if you are badly injured?)
Ace would absolutely lose it if you were injured. He’d be concerned, upset, and angry all at once. First things first, he needs to know if you are going to be ok. Once that’s been established, he’ll be upset at himself for allowing this to happen. This will be replaced by the pure anger he feels at whoever, or whatever, caused this.
J-Jealousy (what do they do if they are jealous?)
When he gets jealous he turns into such a man child. He’s pouting and moping around while mumbling to himself. He develops quite a petty attitude. If you were to ask him “want to go get something to eat?” he’d respond with “why don’t you just go and ask ____ for some food.” But, as soon as you begin commenting on how jealous he’s acting he’s going to deny it to the end of his days.
K-Kill (would they kill for revenge?)
Ace literally hunted down Blackbeard so he could get revenge on him for killing Thatch. It’s not certain whether or not Ace had the intention of killing Blackbeard, however, he definitely had both the spirit and anger to go through with killing him. So, it is possible that Ace would kill for revenge. However, for the most part, he would prefer to just beat them senseless.
L-Loss (what is their greatest loss?)
Either Sabo or his mother’s death, would be considered Ace’s greatest loss. His mother died when he was a new-born, so he doesn’t particularly remember, or know, anything about her other than the fact that she was a kind wonderful woman. However, the loss of Sabo is something he remembers vividly. Losing Sabo had a major impact on Ace. It was an unfortunate wake up call as to how awful the world truly is.
M-Mistake (what is the worst mistake they ever made with you?)
One night, after a particularly bad day filled with a horrible series of events, Ace was letting off some steam (quite literally I suppose). Messing with his devil fruit power, throwing some flames around. He hadn’t noticed your presence and so his flames nearly burnt you. He was horrified, and he only felt worse after he noticed the pure terror in your eyes.
N-Nightmares (how often do they have them? What are they about? How do they deal with it?
Ace has nightmares frequently, they vary, but they all have the same underlying theme, that is, the people in his life don’t actually care about him and only view him the same way everyone else views the son of the pirate kind – a worthless devil with no right to life. He wakes up from his dreams in a sweat and finds himself in desperate need of fresh air (ya know to try and clear his mind). He ends up just sitting out on the deck of the Moby Dick looking up at the sky trying to tell himself it was all a dream. But his insecurity and self-doubt begin to resurface and soon he can’t discern imagination from reality. However, the moment someone else on the crew even speaks to Ace with something as simple as a “morning dude” he’s brought back down to earth and thinks to himself “no that’s right…. They love me… I wouldn’t be here right now if they didn’t.”
It’s a vicious cycle, but in the end, he manages to remember (even if it’s just for a little bit) that he is cherished.
O-Outrage (how and why would they get mad at you?)
When you continuously tell him there’s no need to stay and fight every single opponent. It’s okay to turn and runaway – in fact it’s safer to do that. When you say that he feels as though you don’t understand him. He’s not some careless, impulsive child who’s just looking for a fight (okay maybe he is a little bit). So he doesn’t really get super angry, it’s more so that he is frustrated and a little upset that you don’t try to see it from his perspective.
P-Past (what has happened in your relationship that changed the way you saw each other?)
It’s the same as the worst mistake he’s ever made with you – nearly burning you with his devil fruit. It made you realize that Ace can actually be quite dangerous (although you know he would NEVER hurt you intentionally). It made Ace realize that he needs to be more careful, the look of pure terror in your eyes has stayed with him ever since that incident, serving as a reminder.
Q-Quality (what is their most dangerous/toxic quality?)
His tendency to not back down from a fight is simultaneously his most endearing and toxic trait. He constantly places himself in dangerous situations with minimal concern for his own safety.
R-Rejection (how would they react to you rejecting their confession (or the other way around))
Having his confession rejected by you was definitely a blow to his self-esteem, but he respected and accepted your feelings. Instead of moping around about it he decides to laugh it off, trying to make light of a slightly disappointing situation.
S-Scars (battle or self-inflicted)
Ace does not have any scars, battle related or self-inflicted.
TW self-harm: I do think ace got worryingly close to self-harming, but Sabo and Luffy made him rethink it all.
T-Trust (have they ever broken your trust?)
The one and only time Ace broke your trust was after Blackbeards betrayal. You made him promise to take you with him when he left to hunt down Blackbeard because you didn’t want him to go alone. He promised but he had no intention of keeping that promise.
U-Urge (how badly do they want to see you after you guys separated?)
For a while Ace manages to get by by keeping himself preoccupied. But as soon as he lets up for even a minute, he realizes how much he misses you and is beyond tempted to just sail on back to wherever you are and tackle you to the ground plastering your face in lil kisses. When he’s not distracted, he really does miss you a lot. He hyper-fixates on what you could be doing at this very moment, whether or not you miss him too etc.
V-Vicious (what do they do when they lash out on you?)
When ace gets mad, he tends to get very loud. He raises his voice quite a lot and it becomes very, very frightening. He would never physically hurt you, but the anger and frustration in his voice is more than another to scare the shit out of you.
W-Weak (what makes them feel weak how do they try to avoid it?)
Constantly being reminded or associated with the Pirate King. Maybe it doesn’t make him feel weak, but it makes him feel horrible inside and stirs up a lot of feelings and remarks people would make when he was younger. Unfortunately, once word gets out there isn’t much Ace can do to stop this from happening, however, before this, Ace avoided this by not telling ANYONE. He only told Luffy and Sabo, with a very small handful of others knowing (i.e Garp).
X-X-ray (what do they hate and show it most obviously?)
He hates turning his back on a fight or turning his back on people that talk shit about those he cares about. This is seen during the Marineford arc. He doesn’t let Akainus words about Whitebeard slide. He doesn’t runaway. He has no tolerance for that shit.
Y-Yearn (what is one thing that they want but can’t have?)
Ok this may be dark as hell but, Ace just wants to not feel like a burden to the world. He wants to be viewed as something different/separate from his father, but he can’t change history.
Z-Zero (what do they do/say in your dying moments?)
He doesn’t let you go. He’ll hold on to you until he is forcefully separated from your body. He just starts to spout a lot of nonsense – things don’t make sense at all, but he can’t help it right now. He can’t think properly when you’re about to leave him. He just wants you to stay.
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eternally6pm · 3 years ago
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To Distraction
Rating: T
Characters: Jakob, FCorrin, vague mention of various occupants of the Northern Fortress, Corrin’s Nohrian siblings.
- almost to a state of madness -
A/N: These are two old reposts mashed together. In a stroke of serendipity on my old blog, I had received two four-word prompts that happened to inspire two scenes with some sort of continuity. This takes place pre-Fates, with a number of assumptions: that Corrin and Jakob arrived in their adolescence having already developed strong feelings for one another; that Jakob, being the older of the two and a pessimistic sort of young man, wanted to do the practical thing and attempted to distract himself from the horrifying realisation that he was falling in love with his master - and that this failed miserably.
One of my favourite things about master-servant relationships is that even when there are hard lines and clear expectations, on closer inspection, you can never be sure who really holds power over the other.
---
Felicia could not find any clean hose. Knowing that the maid had not only a tendency to misplace but to also overlook things, Corrin joined her in her search and was very soon just as perplexed – not a single pair could be found.
As Felicia excused herself and ran off to find her sister, Corrin sat uncomfortably before her mirror, still laced in the leathers that she had worn to combat training that afternoon. She judged herself to look somewhat foolish, her tightly braided hair in disarray, her jerkin having ridden up so that the edge sat too high, the thick, stiff leather digging into the flesh of her stomach as she tried to sit on her chair.
She was going to have to ask for a new one. Her current jerkin just didn’t fit over her hips anymore, and the space in the chest was too small. There was pain in her back when she tried to stretch upwards, and if pushed a little too hard, she found it difficult to draw breath.
Gunter had been dissatisfied with her progress today, having knocked her onto her back several times without much exertion. Her left wrist smarted when she tried to flex it and she realised that she must have landed too heavily upon it while trying to soften her fall in a clumsy attempt to spare her sore backside from additional bruises to the ones that had already darkened there.
Corrin sighed, shifting slightly in her seat as she saved all these thoughts for later, when she saw Jakob. He was a soothing thought, a welcome presence who always came after Flora and Felica left, bearing a tray with her dinner and a gentle smile. At her request, he would stay to lend a patient ear to her complaints, and she always felt slightly guilty, keeping him from his duties, but never guilty enough to deny herself the part of the evening she looked forward to most.
Come to think of it…
Jakob would know. He knew where everything was.
With a wince, Corrin planted her hands on the seat and heaved herself from the chair, her already stiff muscles protesting the movement. Reaching for the bell, she rang for assistance.
It was not uncommon for her summons to go unanswered. There were few servants at the Northern Fortress, and often, they were distracted by either Felicia setting fire to something, or were simply occupied with something else.
Corrin waited only long enough to work her gauntlets and wrist guards loose and shed them where she stood before dipping her hands into a basin of (cold, goodness, Felicia,) water to wash the grime from her fingers. Drying her hands on a soft cloth, she left her room.
The Northern Fortress sat on the border of what was historically, heavily contested land. As a result, the fortress was structured as simply that – austere, heavily fortified barracks for housing soldiers in preparation for war. Now that the borders of Nohr stretched far beyond this point, it had been repurposed as Corrin’s home – though it often felt more like a prison than a home.
Fortunately, the nature of the Northern Fortress meant that servants were given the unusual benefit of being granted individual rooms, and the privacy was a privilege so great, not a soul cared to complain of the size of their quarters.
Corrin knew where Jakob slept. It was a piece of knowledge that she guarded jealously because she knew that Gunter would take a riding crop to Jakob’s wrists and shoulders if he ever found out that the princess was visiting his chambers in the dead of the night to trade books and whispered conversations when she couldn’t sleep.
Lately, Jakob had been more reluctant to open his door to her – he spoke constantly of propriety and what was appropriate, and Corrin, well-read and suitably informed by her sister, had more than just a vague notion of what it all meant. However, she also knew for certain that she didn’t like being told that she wasn’t allowed to spend time with him, especially now, when she realised suddenly that she would rather be around no one else.
She found that she liked to watch him whenever she could, studying his profile when he focused on work or catching a glimpse of him when he sparred with the other boys. Not that she could really call Jakob a boy anymore… she couldn’t remember when things had started to change, but now when he spoke, his voice was deeper, a low, wonderful sound that sank like hot liquid into the depths of her chest, and he had put on a lot of height, towering head and shoulders over her in a way that made her want to crawl into his lap and steal the warmth from his skin.
Thinking about him made her feel sick with delight.
Even now, as she approached his room, her stomach flipped like she was falling, and she had to inhale deeply to slow the rapid pulse of her heart. She was irrationally nervous. All she had to do was ask if –
“Oh!”
Corrin’s shoulder was knocked backward, unprepared for the sudden contact, and an arm reached out to steady her, a maid who immediately gasped in recognition and released her hold, dropping into a deep curtsy.
“Princess! A thousand apologies, Your Highness!”
Corrin waved a hand in dismissal. “It’s quite all right. My attention was elsewhere.”
“As was mine, milady. Forgive me for being inexcusably clumsy.”
“Think nothing of it. There is nothing to forgive.”
The maid lifted her gaze, smiling and Corrin could not help but notice that she was remarkably pretty, with blonde hair and eyes the colour of the sky on a fine day. She folded her hands neatly upon the front of her apron and politely inclined her head. “Can I be of assistance, my lady? Do you seek Flora?”
“Jakob, actually.”
“Oh.” At this, the maid directed her eyes downward again, and seemed to hesitate, the tips of her fingers worrying the edge of her skirt. “He is in his room, Your Highness. Though I believe him to be presently occupied.”
The sensation of falling returned, but this time, Corrin felt dread clench about her gut.
“Th-thank you…”
“Clara, Your Highness,” she curtsied again, colour rising into her cheeks and Corrin felt suddenly ill, nauseous as the maid’s words seeped into her skin, crawled into her pores with little thin legs to wriggle and bite.
“Thank you, Clara.”
She curtsied once more, but Corrin had already turned to continue her path, her steps quickened by fear or anger – she could not tell which.
She found his door ajar, and in her urgency, forgot to knock, pushing it open and letting herself in as his name left her mouth in a bark.
“Jakob!”
Dismay struck her square in the chest like a blow from Gunter’s shield, and she was winded, her heart still and all sound stifled as she watched him turn in shock to face her, his hands grasping at his half-open shirt for decency as he stammered unfinished words and excuses.
“Lady Corrin! I am not – I didn’t hear –“
She couldn’t breathe.
She couldn’t speak.
“Apologies, milady, if you could spare me a moment, I could – “
The air smelt stale, acrid with the scent of something unseen, warm like the heat of two bodies.
I believe him to be presently occupied.
Her chest heaved against her inanely ill-fitting leathers and swallowing the bile that sat at the back of her tongue, she willed her lips to smile through the pain of her heart cleaving in two.
“Do not concern yourself, Jakob, it is only me.”
A burden, a chore.
“I came to ask you something.”
It was a tone Camilla had made her practice, repeat so often that it came with only slight effort.
Still his fingers fumbled at the buttons and Corrin stared jealously at the smooth skin and taut muscle that he hid away – a sight for someone else.
But never for her.
“Felica cannot find any clean stockings. Are you able to assist?”
The question sounded foolish and trivial. In that moment, Corrin could not have cared any less if she caught her death walking barefoot through the halls of this damned fortress.
“She sent you to fetch me?” Irritation caused his brow to furrow. “Is she insane?”
“Felicia is not at fault, I came of my own accord.” And oh, how she regretted that decision.
“Nonsense,” he muttered, and Corrin hated the way she enjoyed watching him knot his cravat, neat and pleasantly high upon his neck.
Did he remove it himself, or did she help him?
Where did she touch him?
Do you love her?
The questions prickled on the tip of her tongue and frustration wrenched an empty substitute from her lips. “Who were you with?”
“J-just a friend, milady,” it was the same blush, the same downward glance.
Why did she have to be so beautiful?
All of a sudden it felt like her lungs were bloated with water, her throat tight. Corrin was drowning and she had to leave, lest she retched and spite was expelled from her mouth.
“I’m sorry I was a bother, Jakob. I’ll see if Flora can help.”
She did not care to hear what else he had to say, turning to leave, and wandered blindly, until she returned to her own rooms where she gave no replies to Felica and Flora’s concerned questioning.
She nodded numbly as Flora explained that her stockings had simply been moved, and there were plenty, so there was no need to fret.
Silently, she let the sisters undress her and climbed into the bath they had prepared, sinking beneath the surface where it was warm and she could not tell the scented water apart from the tears that she shed.
“Felicia. Please inform Jakob that I do not want dinner. He is not to disturb me tonight.”
She curtsied, but hesitated. “Milady, you must eat.”
Corrin pulled her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms about her legs as if she could hold herself together through sheer force of will alone. “Please, Felicia.”
At length, she curtsied again. “Yes, Lady Corrin.”
In the silence, Corrin sat still, shut her eyes as Flora’s cool, slender fingers threaded through her hair and pressed firm strokes against her neck and scalp.
“My lady, do not punish yourself for the sorrow that others might inflict,” she advised quietly. “They are not deserving of your suffering.”
Corrin sighed. “Thank you, Flora.”
“If I can aid you in any way, milady, you have but to ask.”
For a long moment, Corrin considered being benevolent, gentle and forgiving, but she had not the strength, and it was too easy to speak the words without conscience, draw a line in the air across her throat and call for blood.
“The maid, Clara. Do you know her?”
“Yes, she works in the kitchen.”
“Her efforts are to be commended. I wish to recommend her for promotion.”
There was silence as Flora ceased her ministrations and reached for a pitcher. “An excellent suggestion, Lady Corrin. I shall put a good word through to Gunter.”
---
The motion was a small one, almost casual. Camilla laughed softly as the young Duke spoke of studding horses, her long fingers neatly grasping the edge of Corrin's glass and whisking it away from the server before he could attempt to pour more wine.
“Wait, sister –“
There was not a single word spoken in direct response, but Camilla smiled brightly, her eyes narrowing as she laid a hand firmly on the satin of Corrin’s skirts.
“I think I’ve heard quite enough about the size of a stallion’s member, don’t you?”
Corrin stared vacantly at the man beside her, almost surrendering to the urge to frown. “Yes. One might presume to expect too much.”
Laughter cut through the low chatter and Duke coloured indignantly.
He asked her afterward, his voice low as he bent to speak softly, unpleasantly close to her ear, if she would be so kind as to honour him with her company as he had never been to Castle Krakenburg before, and would very much like a tour of the grounds.
Corrin would have been more interested had she been shown the underside of a slug.
But she could hardly say as much, and simply gave him another empty smile, evading a touch to her shoulder like she would the glance of a blade and excusing herself to retire with the other ladies from the dining hall.
With absolutely no intention to stay, she bid Camilla and Elise a good night and left without a word to anyone else, not caring that they would whisper of her cold and graceless behaviour, unbefitting of a princess of Nohr.
Her fingers closed upon the neck of a tall, unattended pitcher of mulled wine, and with the same motion she had just learnt from her sister, took it gently away, her only companion as she thought miserably of Jakob and how he was probably somewhere else, seeking comfort in the arms of a friend he had made years ago at the Northern Fortress.
---
The first sign that something had gone awry was the sound of shattering glass.
Jakob jerked in shock in his seat, the needle slipping between his fingers and he quickly dropped the hem of the cotton blouse, mere moments before a bead of crimson formed and began to run.
He released his breath in a long, hissing exhale, pulled the thread taut with his teeth and slowly, silently, counted to ten. He got as far as six before the clomp of heeled shoes reached earshot.
She was getting better at anticipating disaster, even if she hadn’t a clue on how to avert it.
It was certainly dire, he realised, as the door swung open without so much as an attempt to knock, and she stumbled into his temporary quarters with the momentum of the movement.
“Where’s the fire, Felicia?” He asked dryly.
She shook her head. “No, Jakob – it’s Corrin – Lady Corrin. She’s had far too much to drink.”
He stood at once, sewing forgotten. “Where is she?”
Felicia was nothing if at the very least, quick when it came to requesting aid. She hurried back out the door with Jakob on her heels, passing through a short corridor that connected their much smaller rooms to the solar of the guest suite.
The princess was found standing in the centre of the darkened room, still and staring as though lost. In one hand she held a metal pitcher, which she mindlessly released, letting it clatter hollowly and roll over the remains of what appeared to be a broken crystal statue of a swan at her feet. There had been a function at the palace that evening and she was laced up in a gown of pale blue satin with a neckline that dipped in such a way that made Jakob forget for a moment how to breathe.
“I dropped it,” she explained, smiling, and Jakob barely managed to completely close the distance to catch her by the shoulders before she could reach down to pick up the shards with her bare hands.
He gestured to Felicia. “Take her to her room and put her to bed,” he instructed, already planning how he would clean the jagged glass they trod upon.
Felicia nodded and tried to reach for Corrin, but with a sharp, petulant whine of irritation, the princess swatted her away.
“Horrible! Unhand me. I won’t allow it.”
Felicia turned to look at Jakob, shaking her head helplessly. “I’ve tried already. She won’t listen to me.”
Honestly, if you wanted something done right…
“Come now, Lady Corrin,” he soothed, pressing a hand between the blades of her shoulders to gently propel her towards her room. Suddenly obedient, she took to his encouragement without any resistance and Jakob flicked a hand at the mess they left behind so that Felicia might take the cue to clean it before he returned.
However, Corrin had other ideas.
No sooner had Jakob eased the door shut, he felt her hand upon his back and alarmed, spun immediately to face her, stepping away.
“Ah,” she frowned, reaching for him again, and he barely managed to catch her by the wrists, forcing her back, trying to get her to stand straight, to not… tempt him with her bare shoulders and neck exposed by her dress. By the moonlight, he could see that her cheeks were flushed red, and there was the scent of fruit and spice on her lips as she spoke.
“You weren’t so shy before. Let me hold you.”
It was a cruel joke, he realised, much too late, standing alone with his mistress in her bedchamber as she swayed, intoxicated on her feet and mistook him for someone else.
“Lady Corrin, stop. It’s me. Jakob.”
“Good,” she giggled softly, and the sound wove like a net over his heart. “Come here, Jakob.”
“No,” he replied firmly. It was a reminder to them both that she was senselessly drunk and knew not what she spoke; an order to maintain his distance. He gripped her wrists tightly and tried to ignore the writhing anxiety that came with the guilt of knowing. Of wanting.
Gently, he attempted to guide her towards the bed, to have her seated in a bid to escape from this nightmarish trap of his own devising so that Felicia (the gods themselves never could have imagined the day he required her help!) might rescue him.
With a motion trained and too swift, Corrin turned and threw her arms about his shoulders, throwing her entire weight upon him. Unprepared, he stumbled and could only reach for her out of reflex as they both toppled upon the bed.
“Lady Corrin -!”
There was a flurry of motion, a delectable confusion of bare skin and satin as she giggled again, pressing herself close to him and in that moment, Jakob was powerless to fight, because being touched by Corrin felt like being burned by a fire he couldn’t contain, like being drawn by the weight of the moon and drowning, euphoric in the tides.
“Just a taste,” she sang softly, so warm and pliant in his arms.
He couldn’t.
How many times had he fantasised of such a scene? Of having her witless and willing, because nothing else would ever allow the suggestion of impropriety. However, now confronted with it, the reality was horrifying, both in the possibility of having his wicked desires realised and in the fact that he found it utterly reprehensible. He could never forgive himself for such a dire lapse in judgement, for dragging the reputation of the one person he held dearest down into the filth of rumours whispered behind the flicker of a fan, about princesses with no honour who deemed to take their own servants to bed.
What would have been the point in resisting, in dressing his affection in decorum and drowning his desire in another girl?
What would be the point of his duty if he couldn’t even protect her from himself?
“My lady, you must stop.” He gently took her arms and pushed her back, rising from the bed and shaking his head when she tried to reach for him again.
“Why?” She asked, her voice plaintive, and her expression crumpled with dismay. She sat up, gathering her long skirts in both her fists and folding her knees to her chest. “What did I do wrong? You don’t mind kissing other girls, but you… You don’t want me.”
Jakob felt his heart wrench as she pressed her hands to her face and started to weep.
Who had done this to her? What deplorable scum had abused her kindness and corrupted her joy?
Slowly, he knelt before her, waiting until she lowered her hands and looked at him, her breath ragged with sorrow, her face wet with tears.
“You are mistaken,” he told her.
Do I dare?
“You cannot possibly know -”
How much of this will she remember?
“- how much I want you -”
This… is a mistake.
“- to only be mine.”
Smile for me, Princess.
Her lips were soft, her face warm. He felt her hand grip the fabric of his waistcoat and she leaned against him, a small, sweet whimpering note hummed in her throat, pushed onto his tongue. He tasted wine in the heat between her parted lips, and it was enough to intoxicate him too.
He parted the kiss with a sigh, stood and stepped back, his heart a storm of fear and elation, pierced deep with guilt.
Jakob couldn’t explain why he had decided to do this, only moments after convincing himself that it was a doomed choice, treacherous and lonely. He didn’t know why he felt the compulsion to flee, as though the longer he stood there, the greater the risk of being caught out, called traitor, exposed as a fraud.
“Felicia!” He growled as he strode out of the room, hiding behind a veil of irritation. “Lady Corrin is now calm. Kindly assist her.”
The maid scampered past him, barely acknowledging his words.
All he knew was that he was miserably weak, and for all the pain and suffering he had ever seen in his life, he couldn’t stand for a second to watch his princess cry.
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dwimpala-67 · 4 years ago
Text
As Time Goes By
Written for @spnabobingo.
Square Filled: Non Traditional Omega Traits
Title: As Time Goes By
Rating: Mature
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Word Count: 5425
Warnings: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics
Notes: Special thanks to C and J for being absolutely amazing betas. 
Part 1
When he entered his Pack territory and reached his home, Jared Padalecki was greeted by his family.  His mother was emotional, his father was proud, and his younger sister Margaret punched him in the arm while welcoming him. They happily received the gifts that Jared had brought with him. They had dinner  and everyone was sitting in the living room when it struck him that his brother was nowhere to be seen .
“Where’s Joseph?” Jared asked about his brother, as three sets of eyes went from joyous to sorrowful. He was immediately on alert. “Is something wrong?”
“No, nothing’s wrong JT. It’s just that  he’s mated now.” Margaret answered, a hint of edge to her voice.
Jared was confused. Why didn’t his family seem happier? Wasn’t this supposed to be a joyous occasion? His brother was mated. “That’s wonderful. Why didn’t you say anything to me?”
No one spoke for a while as Jared looked at each one of his family members. He was missing something, something big. He felt uncomfortable with the fact that his family was hiding something about his brother. His impatience won out. “Well, would anyone bother telling me what happened?”
“He mated with Chad.” His mother spoke in a hushed tone as if she was referring to something sinful.
Now that … that was something he never expected would happen. Jared stared at his parents in shock. He had lived here until he graduated high school and went off to college. Being a male Omega, he had stayed home most of the time because his schoolmates would make fun of him. He also remembered how his brother was always there, protecting Jared from the bullies. It was expected that male Omegas should be submissive, one day to be the spouse of an Alpha and raising his babies.  
But, his father Greg Padalecki, an Alpha, never discriminated against any of his children even if he was constantly given unnecessary advice by people about raising his children. All of his children went against the usual gender assignments, in that one son was a Beta, one an Omega and his only daughter was an Alpha. He raised them all with the same set of rules. He was strict about their studies and their playtime. But he was also loving and never stopped his children from exploring new facets of life. He motivated his kids to be self-sufficient and independent. He nurtured them to grow up to be   independent persons, irrespective of their biology, and Jared's  mother Sylvia Padalecki always pampered and showered the siblings with love and affection. All in all, Jared grew up to be a fiercely independent, and a very tall Omega.
Jared had a good childhood until he hit puberty. Then he  suddenly hit a growth spurt, growing up to be a tall, gangly, big Omega with floppy hair. The only downside of being a tall Omega was that he was never courted. The thing was, even if Omegas had equal rights and were no longer looked upon as a birthing machine, prejudiced minds still lived in the society. Most of the Alphas wanted a petite, demure, and docile Omega for a mate. They didn’t like an Omega who was taller than them, or one who was independent and working. They wanted someone who would do as  told and basically be their housekeeper and child-bearer. Jared wasn’t one of those .
Initially, he was upset that no one would want him. He never had a boyfriend and he never went on any date. There were Alphas in his school who would tease him for being tall and gangly . There were times that even Chad, his best, but most annoying friend, had managed to score a date and Jared was left on his own. No one had shown any interest in him. Not one ever desired to court him. “Who’d want the freak?” they’d whisper behind his back.
Those were the days when he’d run to his mother, crying his heart out, and seeking comfort in her arms. Those were the same days when Jared learned a very valuable lesson. Life sucked, but he had the control to turn it around. His father had always told him, “No matter your biology Jared, you don’t bow to anyone’s authority except for Pack Alpha and High Council. You’re an independent person with equal rights like  that of any other werewolf.” And he had been inspired by those words. And Jared had lived by that gospel.
Their  Pack didn’t allow Omegas to have higher education, so, after graduation, he had made the  decision to leave the Pack and his home town of Overbrook to pursue higher education. His father had urged him to go to Australia where his maternal grandparents moved after retirement, to pursue a degree in architecture. His maternal grandparents had moved there after retirement, and would be happy to have Jared join them.  It seemed like a safe destination as Packs in Australia were known to be much more progressive than American Packs. Fortunately, Alpha Anton had permitted him to leave the pack. It wasn’t as if he was a traditionalist. Alpha Anton was quite open in his ideology, but he had limits. Jared counted himself lucky  to have been granted release by his Pack Alpha. He would have hated to be an outcast from his Pack.
Going to Australia had been a good decision. It wasn’t as if he didn’t have to face the same prejudice, being viewed as a freakishly large Omega , but it was bearable because he was relatively unknown to the people there and used scent blockers to hide his true nature.  It was no one’s business to know that he was an Omega . His height and  build  were  enough for him to easily pass  as an Alpha or a Beta . Only those who got a close sniff at him  would come to know about his true nature. However, no one bothered him for that. They did talk behind his back, but  he just didn’t  care anymore. He buried himself in his work and as long as he was doing a good job, no one bothered him at all.
Jared had gone on to become an architect, and a successful one. He had worked at various firms in Australia and also in the US, and  was now looking to establish his own firm. He was back in  Overbrook after being away for six years. It was a long time. Everything had changed, including his Pack Alpha. Back in high school, Jared had been side by side with his brother and never noticed any attraction between Joseph and Chad.
It baffled him because all this time never had he seen Chad and his brother even talk to each other so spending time together was out of question. In fact he specifically remembered Joseph complaining about  Chad to him.
They were sitting in their living room, playing video games when his brother spoke up, “Why do you hang out with Chad?”
“What do you mean?” Jared replied, completely focused on his game.
“He’s an asshole. He’s always leering at the Beta and Omega girls.” Joseph answered. The disgust in his voice alerted Jared. Something was disturbing his big brother.
“Yeah, he’s a little annoying. But I  don’t see why it should bother you. I mean not one of those girls has ever complained.”
Joseph remained silent at that.
“Is he hitting on someone you like?” Jared had deduced that must be the issue.
“Maybe,” Joseph had mumbled, and Jared had pushed  him to talk to Chad about it. That had been the end of the discussion. The issue of Chad had never come up ever again.
“Wh...when ...how...when did this happen?” Jared finally found his voice.
“Two months after you left.” This time his father spoke. Jared looked at him to observe a poignant look on his face.
“Okay. I mean Chad is not exactly the kind of person everyone would be glad to associate with, but it must be good I guess. They must love each other if they  mated.”
“That’s not the issue, Jared. Chad is  a Beta and we all know he liked to fool around. It was just that on a full moon night, Chad was at the bar and no one knew what happened. But Randy, the bartender, said one moment Chad was flirting with a stranger and he saw them leaving together. The next thing they heard was  a loud howling coming from within the woods. Those in the bar rushed towards the  site and Randy notified Alpha Anton accordingly.  By the time the Guards reached the site, all they saw was Chad, lying on the ground , bleeding and stabbed with a silver knife.”
Jared was horrified as he heard the account of the events from his sister. His family looked deeply disturbed  while listening to the retelling of the account. He didn’t like the implications of it. His mouth dried up as he tried to swallow the lump in his throat. It made him sick to his  stomach to think that something bad had happened to Chad. Sure, he had lost  touch with all his friends, but it was Chad! His best  friend!
“What happened?”
“He survived, Jared. He’s okay. It’s just that the attack left him wounded. The silver with which he had been stabbed penetrated his uterus and he was left a Beta without the ability to conceive. It wasn’t good, Jared . You already know the Murrays didn’t like Chad’s Beta status, and after the incident, they disowned him. His father proclaimed that a Beta son who couldn’t procreate was good for nothing. Alpha Anton decided to mate Chad with one of his guards so at least he would have someone to look after him. However, Chad didn't want to be mated. He was devastated, Jared. That’s when Joseph stepped in. We never knew he loved that boy. And he was ready to accept him, even after that incident. It took some time, but he eventually convinced Chad and they were mated.”
“What about the attacker though?”
“Some Pack members took off in direction of the scent of the attacker. He was a rogue human. The Human Council took matters into their own hand and decided to conduct a trial. He was found guilty on all charges  and handed over to us to execute the punishment. We were shocked to know that Chad hadn’t smelled the human at first, but it seemed like the man had used the synthetic scent on himself to disguise  as a were.”
Jared was satisfied with it. They had a peace treaty with the Human world. The Human Council was the authority that dealt with human miscreants,  while The High Council was the authority that dealt with werewolves. They had a strict policy that anyone who  violated the treaty or  abused any species  were to be handed over to the other council and they’d be dealt with accordingly. In this case, the guilty  man would have been chased into the woods before being ripped apart into pieces, literally.
“So, they live separately in an apartment or something now?” By the look on his sister’s face, he knew there was more to the story than he was being told. “Come on, Marge, tell me.”
“After that incident, Chad was looked upon as a cripple. He was taunted by other Alphas as a good for nothing whore.” Jared’s blood boiled at the thought of Chad going through these things alone. Unaware of  the emotions coursing through him, his sister continued. “ Chad wasn’t able to live here Jared. He shut himself in his house. It was affecting him deeply. So, Joseph decided to leave Pack Territory and settle down somewhere else. But Alpha Anton refused to let go of them. He was adamant that this Pack was the place where Chad would find peace and would heal. There was a heated argument between them. Alpha Anton gave Joseph an ultimatum that if he wanted to live elsewhere, he was to surrender his pack loyalty and leave this Pack  immediately and to never  step his foot back on Overbrook Packlands.”
“And you let him go? Why didn’t you tell me anything? What were you guys waiting for? I would have tried to convince either Alpha Anton to let them go, or Chad and Joseph to stay. I would have figured something out. Why did you keep such a big secret from me?” Jared asked his family, angry at them for not stopping his brother and Chad from leaving. Angry for not being told anything.
“You’d just settled down in your new life, JT. We didn’t wanna disturb you. Besides, you had to concentrate on your studies,” His father replied.
Rage was an understatement. How dare the Alpha be so heartless? How could he abandon his own pack members in times of need? Did he not have any heart? Would it hurt Alpha Anton to think about a single person  for once instead of the entire Pack as a whole? He was furious. He needed some answers and he was gonna get them  now. He stood up, determined to get some answers right away.
“So? You should have told me something...The Alpha, where is he? I wanna talk to him, right now.” Jared said.
“Jared stop, it’s late, besides…” But he didn’t care about anything else. He wanted to know what had prompted the Alpha to  take such an extreme step. He rushed out of his home without paying attention to his family’s warnings. He rushed to his car and drove hastily towards Ackles mansion.
Once in front of the house, he parked his car in front of the gate, not caring about anything, and walked down  the front path towards the door. He rang  the bell. No one answered so he started banging on the door. A minute later, he heard footsteps and he stepped back as a man opened the door. That was the moment that Jared’s life changed forever. Because standing across him was the most beautiful man he’d ever seen.
The man was dressed in grey sweatpants and a black t-shirt, his hair was spiked, and he was wearing glasses. Even in the dim  light reflected on his face coming from the foyer, Jared could spot the freckles dusted around his nose and cheeks. Jared stood still as the earthy aroma washed over him with a hint of raindrops,  wet soil, and thunder hit his nostrils. It wasn’t a scent of just any  Alpha. Jared knew that scent. It was his favorite scent in the whole wide world. He looked at the man's green eyes and watched them go wide at the implication. A jolt of electricity rushed through him as he took in the man standing right in front of him.
“You..you’re...you are my…” Jared stammered, trying to spell the words out.
“True Mate, ”  the man said.
“True Mate is something that is extremely rare and only happens to those who are destined to be together, two souls entwined by destiny to become one.”
Jared had only heard rumors of it. Living in Ackles Pack, there were plenty of elders who would entertain the kids with stories of True Mates and Eternal Love on a full moon night. No one believed it of course because the people of his age had never seen a True Mate . But they had heard that True Mates did happen and they had one in their Pack. The head  Alpha, Anton Ackles and his Beta, Diane Ackles were True Mates. It was a story that Jared’s generation had heard, that the pair had mated within days of knowing each other. The pull was too strong for them to resist it. They said it’s like your soul has found its other half and it aches to be joined as one.
However, in Jared’s case he had completely let go of the idea of ever being mated to anyone. All his life he had heard the slurs, “No one wants a freak Omega.” Sure enough, no one had wanted him. He had tried his best to be desirable, but the Alphas had never given him a second thought. It had been his dream, ever since he found out he was an Omega, to find a mate, have kids, and settle down with a job and house with a backyard, maybe with a swing. But then, life happened and all his dreams were shattered. He had even prepared his parents to see their beloved son remain single, for all of his life.
After going through all that, he had almost given up on ever getting together with anyone, yet suddenly he had stumbled into his True Mate. He had been on his way to Ackles Mansion  to demand some answers from the Alpha for throwing out his brother and his mate just because they wanted to move away from the Packlands. He had been determined to get his curiosity satisfied, when the door had opened and with one sniff of the scent, he instantly knew. As if Jared wasn’t already gone for the most beautiful man he had ever seen, the man also had a strong, husky voice that immediately did things to Jared's most intimate  body parts. The next thing he knew he was barely trying to keep it together when the man stepped forward  and Jared automatically took a step back. He could smell the Alpha pheromones that the man was giving off, and it made his dick take an interest. He was embarrassed,  standing in front of the Pack Alpha’s home and getting a hard on. He really was a freak.
“You’re beautiful,”  the man said.
It  made him blush. He knew he must look like an idiot. He needed to say something before the man  decided that Jared wasn’t worth it. The idea made him think back to all the bullying he had suffered at the hands of other Alphas when he was in high school. Those memories themselves  were like being doused  with a bucket of cold water and he immediately came to his senses. This man must be making fun of him. Of course, because everyone had always said that Jared was a good for nothing Omega who no one ever wanted. The look on his face must have given away his nerves as the man took Jared's  hand in his as his thumb slowly circled the knuckles and the mere touch of  skin on skin sent a jolt of electricity coursing through his veins. He was well and truly fucked.
“Believe me, you’re the most beautiful thing I ever had a chance of coming across. I’m not making fun of you. Promise.”
At those words, Jared snapped up his head and stared at the man as if he was speaking in an alien language. Was this for real? Could the Alpha read his mind already? Lost in his thoughts, he didn’t realize he had spoken these words out loud when he saw the man throw his head back and give a hearty laugh.
“Aren’t you the cutest thing?” The Alpha then proceeded to close the distance between them and planted a lingering kiss on his cheek. Jared was rooted to his spot, completely awestruck and stunned to his very core.
No one had ever been so sweet to him. Scratch that, no Alpha had ever touched him, let alone kiss him, even on his cheek. He felt the Omega in him bouncing with happiness, but the human in him was still trying to comprehend the strange and sudden turn of events.
“Oh, where are my manners, I find my mate and all I do is act like a knot head. I’m so sorry.” The Alpha spoke softly, trying his best to keep his actions as gentle as possible so as not to startle Jared. As if he would run toward the hills the moment Jared was out of his  trance. Jared watched as the Alpha ran his hands through his hair, inhaled loudly, and took a step back. “I’m sorry, it’s just your scent...Anyway, I’m Jensen, by the way” the Alpha offered his hand to Jared to shake.
Jared looked at the hand and then back at the man er...Jensen. He took in the man standing in front of him and decided to take a shot. He shook the hand and found it had a strong grip.
“I’m Jared.”
“Hmm..Jared,” Jensen almost purred, smiling seductively at him. “Well, you must be  new to the Pack. What are you doing here at this time of the night?”
Jared had a hard time trying to remember why he was here. But it clicked and he sighed as he spoke. “I wanted to speak to the Pack Alpha.”
Because he had been  away for more than five years, he didn’t know the many changes that had happened within the Pack. That was why he was surprised once again when Jensen chuckled and said, “Well, you’re speaking to him.”
Jared was sure he must look like a dork when he almost squealed, “Whaaat?”
“I haven’t seen you around, are you visiting the Pack or something?”
“Umm..no, I’m ...I’m actually the son of Alpha Greg Padalecki.”
“Oh, so you’re the elusive Omega son that was shipped away to pursue higher education. I’m happy to finally meet you.”
“Likewise. I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were the new Alpha, ” Jared said, once again cursing himself for acting stupidly.
“It’s okay. God, you look so adorable when you blush.”
“I do?” It seemed like his brain to mouth filter wasn’t working anymore.
Jensen laughed once again, his  voice booming deep from within his chest.
Jared was once again struck with lightning. This man was  invoking something deep within him. No one had ever made him feel like this. It was like Jared couldn’t stop himself from being attracted to this man. Never in his life had anyone shown any interest in him and all of a sudden this guy barges into Jared’s life - more like he barged into Jensen’s -  and boom...his world turned upside down.
“Have you looked  in the mirror lately? You’re gorgeous, Jared.”
Not only was this Alpha super-handsome, but he’s also openly flirting with Jared. Jared was quite stunned and  he doesn’t know how he should tackle this situation. It's the first time someone’s flirting with him!
“Oh, you’re adorable. Just my type actually.” Jensen spoke, clearly checking  Jared out as he gave him an appraising look. Jared blushed a shade of deep red that seemed to be very fascinating to the Alpha. “Go out with me.”
This was a dream. Jared was sure of it . His eyes went wide, eyebrows rising  up, and he had to stop himself from opening his mouth like a fish . “Come again?” Because he must have heard wrong.
“Go out on a date with me. Just once, please?” Jensen asked, his voice gentle, like if he spoke up Jared might just run away .
“You...Jensen Ackles, Alpha of the Ackles Pack, want to go out on a date with me? Really?” Jared asked, pointing fingers at Jensen and then at himself as he spoke. He was having a hard time believing it all. Why would an Alpha,  Pack Alpha nonetheless  want to go out with him when he could have anyone who he wanted? Surely there must be plenty of Betas and Omegas ready to beg and fall on their knees to score a date with him. So why was the Alpha insisting on going out with him ? With Jared, who was an overly tall, well-muscled, and independent Omega. He was nothing like the docile Omegas that others wanted.
“Well yes, why? Do you have a policy of some sort that you don’t go out with Pack Alphas?” Jensen’s face was both curious and amused at the same time. Jared was sure he was making a fool out of himself. Well excuse him, he’s still having a hard time  understanding the fact that he’s just getting asked out by an Alpha for the first time in his life.
“No, it’s just, Alpha’s usually want a small, petite, and demure Omega. And I’m the exact opposite of that. So, I’m not so sure you really wanna go out with me, ” Jared shrugged as he replied.  
“Not all Alphas clearly.  I’m an Alpha and I want you. You’re stereotyping us a bit. In fact, I’d like to publicly court you. I’m sorry if you had a different impression. I agree most of us are stupid knot heads and think with our lower brain, but if you give me a chance you’ll find out I was raised differently and I’d like to show you that an Alpha  really can be patient and caring.”
Jared was having a hard time breathing. There was a vast difference between Jensen dating him and Jensen wanting him and courting him. He didn’t know why but he wasn’t ready to refuse. His Omega won’t allow. “Okay. One date. Let’s see how much  patience you've got.”
“Wonderful. How is tomorrow for dinner? You aren’t busy, are you?”
“Dinner is good.”
“That’s great. So, I’ll pick you up in the evening?”
“You’ll pick me up? I thought we'd drive separately and meet somewhere ”
“Nah...I asked you out, didn’t I? And if I’m asking you out on a date, then it’s my responsibility to pick you up. It’s common courtesy. Besides I’d like a chance to impress you.”
That was some weird ass logic. “You wanna impress me by picking me up from my home?” Jared quirked  up his eyebrow once again.
“Well Mr. Padalecki, I come with secrets.”
“Do you now?” Jared was now full on leering as he took in his fill and smirked at the excited Alpha.
“You’re about to find out. Anyway, so what brings you here. Oh I’m so sorry, it’s late in the night and I didn’t even ask you to come in. Please, I…”
“It’s okay. I mean, it wasn’t that bad, talking to the Alpha in his front yard. It scored me a date.” Sometimes Jared wondered why his brain to mouth filter stopped functioning when it was really needed.
“Well, you must have something important if you came up at this time of the night.” Jensen insisted, a hopeful look on his face.
“You’ll find out tomorrow in that case. We aren’t going anywhere, are we now?” Jared said. He was sure that the Alpha would give up within minutes. And one of the reasons would be Jared’s bratty mouth.
“Ouch. I can see you have sharp teeth, Omega.” Jensen almost purred, hinting at something far more  between them that just dates.
“You have no idea what else I’ve got hidden inside my pocket, Alpha.”
“I’m eager to find out. See you tomorrow, Jared.”
“I’ll be waiting. Goodnight, Alpha. Hope you sleep well. Sweet dreams.”
Saying that, he walked out of the mansion, back down the path, and hopped into his car, heading  home.
Jared was dazed as he entered his living room  where his family was waiting for him. They started questioning him the moment he stepped in. He blocked out the voices and headed for the couch and flopped down, elbows on his knees, head down and his hands scratching his head.
“Jared, what happened?” His mother  asked, while his sister spoke rather loudly, letting her Alpha voice out.  “What did the Alpha say?”  
His father seemed to be the only sane-minded one. “Jared Tristen Padalecki, what the Hell were you thinking, barging into the Alpha’s home so late at night without any prior intimation. Where are your  manners?”
Jared knew they were speaking to him, but his mind was still replaying his conversation with Alpha Jensen Ackles. What the Hell just happened?
“Alpha Ackles asked me out on a date.” He whispered, thinking that if he said it out loud it wouldn't be real anymore.
“What? What are you talking about?” Margaret perked up immediately.
“I have a date. With Jensen Ackles.” This time, he said it out loud. He was freaking out internally. He had never been on a date, let alone with an Alpha.
Dead silence followed the announcement. It was eerie and it made him more uncomfortable so he looked up only to be greeted by surprised faces, some of them staring at him wide- eyed with mouths hanging open. “Say something, guys.''
His father was the  first to recover . Greg Padalecki cleared his throat, trying to comprehend what his son had just told them.  “JT, details.” His voice was deliberately neutral.
“The new Pack Alpha...I went to talk to  him. He opened the door when I knocked and...and…” Jared couldn’t complete the sentence as he was at a loss of words as to how he should tell his family  that not only did he score a date with the Alpha, but he had also found his True Mate.
“JT,  you know, you can tell us.” His mother spoke softly and sat down next to him, soothingly running her hand against his back, trying to calm him down. It seemed to work as he started to relax under her touch. It was a habit of his, only his mother knew how to calm him down when he was agitated.
“ Mama,” he looked at her, seeking comfort, and her small smile encouraged him to explain further, “I found my True Mate.”
His father gasped and his sister squealed while his mother promptly burst into tears.
“Oh JT, I’m so happy for you!”  Sylvia Padalecki spoke, full of emotion, as she hugged her son. Her happiness knew no bounds as she had hoped and prayed hard that her sweet Jared would find happiness one day. As he grew up, she had given up hope that her  younger son would ever settle down. But now as she sat there listening to the words that her ears had been desperate to hear, all the bound up emotions that had held her strong until now burst open.
Jared felt a hand on his shoulder and he looked up to see his father smiling and his eyes shining, “Is Alpha Ackles…?”
“Yes, Dad. It’s Jensen. He’s my True Mate.”
“So it’s Jensen, huh, ” Margaret teased her older brother, all the while she sat giggling on the chair next to the couch.
“Shut up, Marge,” Jared said, good naturedly, no doubt feeling a little warm whenever Jensen’s name was mentioned. And he seemed like a cool guy. Even with all the freaking out, Jared still felt a twinge of excitement run through his body. He was nervous, but he also was looking forward to getting to know  the man.
Jared spent the next hour or so answering the questions of his family members, and then trying to calm his sister down when she started planning their wedding. He also had to sit there and try not to run as they all immediately started discussing the names of their future babies.
“How about Ronald for a boy and Regina for a girl?” Greg perked up in the discussion, unable to hide his happiness at the good news.
Jared flushed, “Dad, not you too.”
Greg laughed as he saw his son hide his face behind his hands. He too had given up hope that his middle child would settle down. He always felt a little sad whenever he thought of Jared living his life without a mate. His heart hurt every time he thought about how Jared would never be able to experience the love, companionship, and happiness that comes along with  being mated. And now to find out that his son had stumbled upon his True Mate, it was an extremely happy occasion. Especially because it was none other than Jensen Ackles. Greg had watched  the man closely for the past two years. He even had an opportunity to work with the Alpha when he created a select committee to review all the archaic laws that the pack followed, and ordered the council to work on abolishing them and modernizing the Pack Law. Greg found him to be a formidable wolf. Jensen was also a kind, patient, and caring young wolf. He was an exceptional leader and a gifted fighter. If there was one wolf who could heal Jared’s wounds and give him the love and happiness he deserved, it was definitely Jensen. Now that he thought about it, Jensen and Jared would  make a lovely couple.
Part 2
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javier-djarin · 4 years ago
Text
Como Me Duele: Chapter 12
Ship: Javi x Reader
Rating: M
Word Count:  3,557 words
Warnings: Language, Smut, Soft!Javi
Masterlist
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(Gifs by @pascvl)
Summary: Life after Pablo finds you and Javi in bliss. Javi adjusts to his new title of fatherhood. You and Javi talk about the future of your family.
A/N: So, this is the last official chapter! (cries for days). Thank you again for all the love and support! Please, please, PLEASE let me know what you think. Please let me know if you want to be on my tag list for any future fics! I have a few lined up. I will be writing an epilogue to this so you know what lies in store for them in their future. As always, the translations are at the bottom.
Your POV
“What do you mean you have to leave?” you asked, sitting up.
He smiled at you as the sheet you wrapped around your front barely left anything to his imagination. “They want to review my case, which means talk about my involvement with Los Pepes.”
“Which means they could send you to jail, Javi,” you said.
Javi shook his head. “They would have come after me sooner if that was the case. As soon as I get there, I’ll get ahold of my lawyer.” He smiled and tried to pull the sheet off you.
“Seriously, Javier?”
He laughed at you and nodded. “If I’m not worried, you shouldn’t be. Now, I’m not going to leave for the airport for a few hours. So, let’s finish what we started.”
You smiled at him and wrapped your arms around his neck. “I knew you’d be trouble when I first met you.”
“Por siempre y para siempre, hermosa.”
He deepened his kiss, gently pulling the sheet down. His hands danced across your skin, sending chills throughout your body. You smiled and laughed into his kiss as you ran your hands through his hair, giving him a slight tug. He growled and moved his lips down your neck and jaw, stopping at your already tender breasts. You let out a sigh, as his warm mouth was a welcomed surprise. He nibbled at one before moving to the other, his fingers already finding their way to where you ached most. He followed them soon after, kissing the inner parts of your thighs. He gently placed your legs over his shoulders as he laid down in front of you, his palms resting on your lower abdomen enough that his thumbs massaged you - running in slow methodical circles as Javi enjoyed the rest of you with his mouth.
As soon as his tongue came into contact with your body, you let out a loud moan. God, his tongue could do magical things to you. No, that man could do wonders. Your hand traveled down to grab his hair while the other had a death grip on the sheets. You felt him growl against you, sending a wave of pleasure through your veins. “You taste so fucking good, hermosa.” 
He felt your legs start to shake and close around him. You were close. Your breathing became more labored as you moaned his name, begging him for more. He moved his hand so he could use his fingers while his mouth moved to your clit. He rubbed the inside of you in those same, slow circles while he curled his fingers, running them down your walls. You lifted your hips and cried out as you arched your back. You cried his name, each syllable falling off your tongue like a sweet plea.
He finally came up for air, your orgasm glistening on his face; the sexiest and most arousing thing you’d ever seen. Javi wiped his face and cleaned his fingers off before returning to your mouth. He stopped moving for a moment and looked down at you. “What’s wrong?” you said, placing hands on either side of his face. 
He let out a long breath and smiled at you. “Nothing. I just can’t believe that this is real. That you chose me.”
You felt your heart ache for Javi. He knew exactly how to tug at your heartstrings, and he wasn’t even aware of it. “And knowing everything we’d gone through to get here,” you kissed him, “I’d choose you a thousand times over again, mi amor.”
He smiled at you and kissed you deeply as you felt him slide into you as far as he could go. He was the only man who could ever take your breath away and make you feel so alive at the same time. You gasped into his kiss as you felt him fill you completely and you both held onto each other for a moment. “Never leave me again,” he said.
You laughed. “You’re the one who sent me back here.”
He kissed you again. “I was a fool.”
“Javi,” you said, running your hands down his face. “I believe you said it best: ‘They’ll have to kill me before I leave you’. And you should realize, I’m too stubborn to die.”
He grinned at you. Since you woke up in the hospital, you’d never seen him smile so much. And you wanted to keep him smiling forever. “Never stop this,” he said.
“What?”
“Loving me this way,” Javi whispered. 
 You wrapped your legs around him to pull him deeper into you. He groaned, but never broke his eye contact with you. “I will love you this way for the rest of my life.” 
He slowly pulled back before thrusting back in at the same, excruciatingly slow pace. You let out another moan and whimper. He’d never felt so good before, and you never wanted this to end. When you moved to Colombia, you weren’t looking for love. You were looking for a way to find yourself. Find who you were without Michael. Little did you know you’d find yourself Javi. Javi, the man who brought out the real you. The “you” that loved taking risks. That woman, you discovered, loved jumping in feet first, knowing fully well that she could catch herself, but was hoping someone else would be there to catch her. And you couldn’t imagine that someone being anyone other than Javier Peña. He showed you a life of love and happiness that was beyond anything you’d ever experienced or believed to exist outside of stories. “Te quiero, mi Javi.”
He kissed you even deeper as he moved. Your hands moved to his back as your hips moved into him, your body beseeching him for more. “Te quiero, mi hermosa,” he said, “Eres más de lo que podría soñar y todo lo que siempre quiero.”
You felt a few tears stream down your cheeks, and you saw one glisten his. You grabbed his hair as he craned his face into your neck. His velvety skin moving against yours was almost enough to send you over the edge again, thanks to your heightened nerves. “Javi,” you breathed. You felt his muscles tense as you said his name, running your hands all over his body. “More.” You said. His slow pace was torture.
He looked into your eyes and moved just a little faster. You felt yourself getting lost in his eyes, his touch, his scent, his movements. You could feel your body start to quiver and clench around him, drawing our low moans and growls from him. His noises always aroused you even more. But what you loved the most was his attention to detail. When you were close, he knew exactly how to send you over the edge by adding his thumb to add just the right amount of pressure and friction, and then he’d always say to you, “Come for me, hermosa.”
You cried out his name, loud enough that it echoed off the walls. You felt his hips start to move faster, helping you ride out your euphoria. Your body felt hot and cold as he continued thrusting and moving his hips in just the right pattern that left you feeling weak when he was done. You came again, just as he finally had his own release, breathing your name into your neck before kissing you and giving you your breath back.
You held him in place just for a little bit, because you loved nothing more than the feeling of having him inside of you. When he finally rolled over to pull you into his arms, you sighed and rested your head on his chest. He lightly ran his fingers up and down your side and kissed the top of your head. “I was thinking,” he said, “I really like the name Marcela.”
Your heart swelled. Since you’d been back in the States, you hadn’t really talked about what life would look like with the babies. And the fact that he was thinking of names made you love him even more. “That’s a beautiful name, Javi.”
He smiled at you and shrugged. “I just read it in a baby book the other day.”
You rolled over and leaned against his chest so you could look down at him. “You read a baby book?”
Javi laughed and started to blush. “I bought a few, actually. Look, I have absolutely no idea what to expect. Some of these books go into…” he cleared his throat and looked horrified, “detail. I had no idea a woman’s body could do so much.”
You laughed even harder and kissed him. “And think, I’ll be pushing out two of them that day.”
His eyes grew wide, almost as if he was reliving a horrific memory. “I’m so sorry I did this to you.”
You curled up against his side and ran your nails over his body. “I’m not. I already love them so much.”
Javi held you tighter and kissed your head. “You’re stronger than I’ll ever be,” he sighed, “there’s no way I’d survive childbirth.”
“You’re going to have to, because if you pass out in that room, I will kick your ass after I push them out,” you said, looking into his eyes with all seriousness.
He grabbed your hand and brought it to his mouth, gently kissing it. “I wouldn’t miss it for anything.”
You settled back against him. “So Marcela for a girl. Any boy names?”
He shook his head. “You’re having a girl.”
“Javi,” you laughed, “I’m having two. We can’t call them both Marcela.”
“Well, I did half the job. You think of another name.”
You glared at him. “I get to spend the next seven months making them.”
“To be fair,” he smiled at you with his adorable, boyish grin, “I contributed to that as well.”
You hated that his grin could get you to agree to almost anything. “I like the names Santiago and Francisco, but I had another idea.”
He cringed at both of those names. “Please tell me your idea is better than those names.”
You lightly slapped his chest. “They aren’t that bad! I also like the name Jaime.” You watched him smile at you again. “Anyway, my other idea was we call him Javier.”
He laughed. “You want to name our son after me?”
“Why not?” You asked, rolling over to look at him again. “It’s a good strong name for a son to grow up and be a perfect example of a man, just like his father.”
You saw tears form in his eyes as he leaned down to kiss you. He let his head lean back against the pillow as he let out a deep breath. “Holy shit,” he laughed, “we’re going to be parents.”
You laughed with him. “Everything is going to change so fast,” you said.
You felt his body tense around you. “We don’t have anything ready. No crib, no nursery. Oh god, the nursery. What colors do we want to paint it? We need car seats. Fuck. We have to buy two of everything.”
You leaned against him and kissed him to calm him down. “Tranquilo, mi amor. Todo va a estar bien.” He looked up at you, and all of the worry in his eyes was gone. “Connie is throwing us a baby shower where we will get a lot of that stuff. You and I will need to go register at places to pick out things we want, but they will take care of it all. And, while we do that, we are also doing our wedding registry.”
He let out a deep breath. “Oh.”
“Besides, we are painting the nursery gray with teal-blue accents.”
You felt him relax under your touch and lean up. He rested his hand on your stomach and smiled. “I want to go with you to your next appointment.”
“I have one next week,” you smiled, resting your hand on his.
He kissed your stomach lightly. “Marcela and Javier.”
“Mi amor,” you said, “we need another girl name, just in case there are two girls in there.”
“Julieta or Mariana,” he said.
“You’re oddly good at this.”
He smiled. “I just know you’re having girls.”
“Are you ready to be a father to two girls? Two mini-me’s running around.”
He looked at you for a minute, almost like he hadn’t considered that. “I’ll be so outnumbered.”
You giggled at him. “They’ll give you these same eyes,” you said, making your trademarked doe-eyed expression he loved to hate, “and you’ll be wrapped around their fingers.”
“Dios ayudame. If we have two girls, you know we aren’t stopping there until I at least get a son.”
You pulled his face to yours again, kissing him deeply. “We’re going to need a bigger house, then.”
“Lo que quieras, mi hermosa.”
His POV
They were sitting at the dinner table over a meal Javi attempted to cook. The further she got into the pregnancy, the more he picked up around the house. It was getting harder for her to carry things, bend over, or even move. For the last several weeks, she waddled everywhere. She hated everything about her appearance, but he loved it. She’d never looked more beautiful to him than when she did her tired waddle up the stairs for bed. Every night, he’d taken the liberty of massaging her swollen feet to help her go to sleep. Sadly, the twins would keep her up for most of the night kicking and moving. “I’m ready to get these kickboxers out of me,” she said.
He set a plate of spaghetti down in front of her and some poor excuses for meatballs. “They’re not as good as yours, but…”
She stopped him and reached for his face for a kiss. “They’re perfect.” She rested the plate on her belly and leaned back in her chair to eat. “So,” she started, “are we going to talk about the elephant in the room?”
He stared at her for a moment, unsure what to say. On multiple occasions, she had referred to herself as said elephant, and on each of those times Javi had the wrong response. This time, he decided to wait for her to continue. “Cali?” she added.
Javi dropped his head. “I can’t leave the three of you here. God knows how long I’d be gone. I told them no.”
She sighed. “Then take us with you.”
He shook his head. “No. Absolutely not. Did you hit your head so hard you forgot what happened?”
She rolled her eyes at him. “Javi, ever since they offered you that job, you’ve been restless. If you want to go, I won’t stop you.”
His heart stopped. “Hermosa,” he paused, trying to find the right words, “I’m restless because I’m about to be a father of two. I would never leave you to go running back to Colombia.”
“Do you want to do this? Answer me honestly.”
He thought about it for a minute. He hated those motherfuckers and everything they stood for. So, the answer was easy. “I want to see the Cali Godfathers rot in a cell.”
“Then take the job.”
“Without you there, I’d be miserable.”
“Then take us with you. You’re running the office. You won’t be doing field work like last time. I saw the pamphlets on the apartments near the Embassy. They’re much nicer than the one we lived in before. Besides, we will be closer to the Embassy. No one is going to touch us. The girls will be young enough that we won’t have to enroll them in school, so I’ll be with them all the time. Besides, we could really use the money.”
“What about our wedding? Most of it is already paid for, and we can’t get those deposits back.”
She took a deep breath. “We will fly back for the wedding. Connie and Steve can step up in their duties for us, but for the most part everything is planned. We haven’t booked a honeymoon yet, so there’s no need to worry about that. We can take a honeymoon after you bring down Cali. Besides, that is eighteen months away. For all you know, we might be back home by then.”
He shook his head at her. “I just don’t want to relive what happened.”
“I know you’re scared, mi vida, but I also know that you want to bring those fuckers down. You and Steve both.”
He sighed. “I don’t know why they didn’t ask him,” he said.
“Javi,” she said, “if things get so bad that you’re afraid for our safety, I will fly back here and stay this time. I promise.”
“No, I will resign. End of story.”
She smiled, but that quickly turned into a look of pain. “Oof,” she said, setting her plate on the table and resting her hand on her back.
“What?” he asked, half panicked, because he already knew.
“Is the overnight bag packed?” she asked.
“It’s sitting by the door.”
She nodded and took several deep breaths. “Good. We need to go.”
“Oh shit,” he said, “okay. Um, do you need me to help you walk?”
She shook her head and stood up. She started rapidly moving to the door, faster than he had seen her move in a long time. He followed behind her, grabbing the overnight bag. 
***
Her parents rode with Chucho to the hospital. They’d been staying in town the last few weeks, waiting for their grandchildren to be born, and Chucho offered his guest room for them. Connie and Steve moved to Laredo when Steve was stationed there after Colombia, and Kate had been staying with them, doing what work she could from here. They were all waiting for them at the hospital by the time Javi and the nurse wheeled her in that direction. Javi stopped when Steve approached him to give him a reassuring hug. “I hope you slept good last night, because that was your last peaceful night,” he said.
Javi laughed. “I’m just glad you moved so close. Connie already offered free babysitting whenever we need it.”
Steve's face instantly changed and he looked off at Y/N being pushed down the hallway. “Free. B-babysitting?”
“It comes with best man duties,” Javi added, slapping his back.
“Javi!” she barked.
“That’s my cue,” he said, running after his hermosa. He caught up to her and grabbed her hand. “You ready?”
She smiled at him and kissed his hand in hers. “With you at my side, of course.”
Ten hours of intense labor, birth, and what he was sure was a broken hand later, he was holding one of his daughters in his arms. He couldn’t stop looking between the little bundle in his arms, the bundle in hers, and her. “They’re perfect,” she whispered.
“You’re perfect,” he said, kissing her softly. “I didn’t think I could be more in love than I am right now.” A few tears ran down her face. “And, you were right.”
She smiled. “I always am, but what about now?”
“They’ve already got me wrapped around their little fingers.” He kissed Marcela on her forehead. “And you’re not dating until you’re in your thirties,” he said to both of his daughters.
Y/N let out a soft laugh and cradled Mariana closer to her. “So,” she said, looking up at Javi. “Cali?”
He gazed down at the most beautiful sight he’d ever seen, wanting to remember this moment for the rest of his life. “Are you sure you want to go all the way back down there for more bullshiiiiii-of what we went through with Escobar?”
“Nice save, mi amor,” she laughed, “and te seguiría hasta los confines de la tierra.”
He sighed. “I’ll let them know in the morning.”
Marcela whimpered and Javi held her closer to him. “Hey, mi hermosita, it’s alright. Daddy’s got you.” He lightly rocked her back and forth until she calmed again.
He then leaned down to kiss Y/N. “You are magnificent,” he said. His heart swelled so much, he thought it would burst. “Te amo más de lo que las palabras pueden describir y amo a nuestras hijas más que a nada.”
“Te amo, el amor de mi vida. Te amo mucho más que a nada.”
“Todo mi mundo está en esta habitación, and I don’t know what I would do if I lost it.”
She smiled at him. “Lucky for you, you’re stuck with us.”
Javi smiled wider than he ever had. He was filled with so much love and happiness, and the fact that she chose him over any man she could have meant everything. He really did love the three of them more than anything, so much that it hurt. This pain, though, was a good pain. He felt like his heart would bust open, overflowing with love. He looked over and saw her asleep with Mariana on her chest. He was so proud of her for being the strong, amazing, beautiful, and perfect woman she was. If he could take a picture of this scene, he would. He wanted to remember this beauty, this perfect image of unconditional love forever. “Mis hermosas,” he whispered as he kissed her head before sitting down in the chair next to her, cradling Marcela against his chest.
Translations
Por siempre y para siempre, hermosa. - Forever and for always, beautiful.
Eres más de lo que podría soñar y todo lo que siempre quiero. - You are more than I could ever dream of and all that I could ever want.
Tranquilo, mi amor. Todo va a estar bien. - Relax, my love. Everything is going to be fine.
Lo que quieras, mi hermosa. - Whatever you want, mi hermosa.
Te seguiría hasta los confines de la tierra. - I would follow you to the ends of the earth.
Te amo más de lo que las palabras pueden describir y amo a nuestras hijas más que a nada. - I love you more than words can describe and I love our daughters more than anything.
Todo mi mundo está en esta habitación. - My whole world is in this room.
Tag List
@magneticbucky​ @larakasser​ @pedropascalownsmyheart​ @wander-lustbabe​ @frietiemeloen​ @wickedfrsgrl​
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letsperaltiago · 4 years ago
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don't blame me, love made me crazy
Written upon request for #58 from the 101 fluffy prompts-list:
"We’ve become the clingy newlyweds you always complained about. "
Read on ao3 
Every like and reblog is appreciated <3
Also, tried to just... slowly approach smut and idk I’m so scared!! Send help or inspo! 😅🤧
“What was that all about?” Amy complained to her husband as she closed their front door behind them and kicked off her shoes prior to neatly lining them up by the door. Behind her trailed Jake who automatically copied his wife’s actions looking at her with an equal amount of wonder as he didn’t hold the answer for her question. “We didn’t do anything out of the ordinary?” she threw him another question meanwhile her jacket was removed as well, hung on its designated crook to reveal the flowy, burgundy, flower-patterned dress she’d been wearing for the evening at their friend’s house.
“I don’t know, Ames,” he tried to calm her down, which was always easiest if he didn’t make a big deal out of it – when he was calm he had a better chance of rubbing off on her. But alas it had been very clear from the moment the subject had been brought up at the dinner table that Amy was not going to let go of it until resolved: a stubbornness, a will to succeed that Jake deeply admired and loved but also, at times and in some certain contexts, had his apprehensions about.
“Are we that horrible to be around as a couple?” from where Jake had his back turned on the living room as he took off his leather jacket, he could hear Amy slump down onto the couch loudly flaunting her disappointment in what they’d been told tonight.
It, of course, had occurred to them both that they were married. Very much so: everything from all the meticulous planning of the big day to it being completely butchered by a bomb threat to then still getting married in front of the precinct? Oh yes, they were definitely so very married. And they both adored this new take on their love to the moon, probably even further, and back. But at tonight’s monthly Nine-Nine family-dinner, the first since their wedding in May, they’d suddenly been made aware of the fact that the newly attained degree of their relationship had reached a whole new, very specific kind of vibe: They were told that it made their “already borderline sickly affectionate affinity even more intolerable” (quote Rosa) and made them “professionally and personally challenging to be around when together” (Holt’s addition to the matter at hand).
“I’m sure they didn’t mean it like that,” he slumped down, joining Amy on their couch before instinctively slinging an arm around her shoulders both as to comfort her but also by sheer selfishness, because not touching Amy Santiago at all times was a crime. She, just as him not being able to resist her spouse’s touch, leaned into it placing her head in his shoulder. “You know Holt and Rosa. They have their ways of handling emotional subjects, but they never truly mean to hurt or upset anyone.”
“Maybe…” she huffed but her husband’s attempt at convincing and comforting her didn’t seem to be quite enough. She needed the thrill  and satisfaction of a solve, which meant she needed to treat the matter at hand like an open case – an investigation. She abruptly sat up straight automatically causing Jake’s arm to slide off of her “… but I’m pretty sure we didn’t go overboard with anything?” Amy turned her head to look behind her expecting an answer, but her still leaned back, somewhat disturbingly unaffected husband, looked at her with raised eyebrows and discreetly amused eyes. You’d think he’d worry more than he appeared to do, Amy couldn’t help but think…
“Honey, I know you have this need to control everything, which 99% of the time is both admirable and adorable, but right now you’re just riling yourself up about something that isn’t that deep. They all love us and in the end they just want us to be happy. Even if we get a bit lovey-dovey at times,” he confirmed his little explanation with a warm smile.
“I don’t give a hoot, Jake!” Amy exclaimed totally disregarding Jake’s actually pretty reasonable words. “We’re going to run through every second of that dinner and pinpoint every couple-y interaction we’ve had!” She got up and ran towards her little library/office-room.
“We?” Jake questioned mid-yawn, trying to follow her with his eyes until she disappeared into the other room, left behind surprised by his wife’s sudden initiative. A initiative which he appeared to be have been dragged into.
“Yes,” Amy yelled from the other room. “We’re going to write down every single couple-y thing we did at dinner tonight, from the second we walked into Terry’s place to the time we left, and prove that we aren’t that bad!”
Mostly just wanting to give into the tiredness and desire to just go to bed and cuddlee with his wife, but also knowing he wanted to stick to Amy’s side for this, hopefully keeping her tendency spiraling a bay, Jake tiredly rubbed his eyes trying to push aside the incoming feeling of exhaustion. And as if on cue, the second he lied down stretching out on the soft material of their couch, Amy marched back into the living room with notebook and pen in hand. When she sat down on the floor abreast Jake’s head, between the couch and the coffee table placing her appliance on the surface before her, Jake then noticed how she’d pulled her before lose, casual waves into a high pony tail – she nor the magnitude of Amy’s mission was to be messed with.
“Okay, so…”
From his admittedly relaxed and not as intensely engaged position Jake could, by an inch over her shoulder, catch a glimpse of the now open notebook where Amy’s elegant handwriting was preparing a neat list to be filled, appropriately titled List of reasons why we’ve been  “too much”.  Jake chuckled to himself allowing his eyes to rest just a bit, sneak closed, as he of course would stay awake with Amy but physically couldn’t fight his body’s tiredness entirely. Being there physically would surely be good enough.
“Okay, so we arrived at Terry’s house, separately, very important to note…” she scribbled down before continuing, “…since you worked a bit later, thus came directly from work with Charles so we couldn’t have possibly done anything there…” Amy started scribbling down until Jake chimed, or rather muttered, in himself.
“But since I’d missed you for those few hours after you left work, I walked directly over to you and kissed you in front of everyone before saying-“
“Hi, beautiful wife…” Amy finished his sentence quoting the moment from earlier by memory with a defeated voice upon realizing this wouldn’t be a moment in her favor. She quietly wrote it down not feeling like further commenting. “Okay, but that isn’t uncommon for us… or just any couple in general!”
“I know, babe,” Jake yawned.
“So no reason for them to be upset about that… Anyways, then we stood in the kitchen while Terry and Charles finished cooking dinner, had a glass of wine… Pretty innocent if you ask me-“
“Until we touched glasses and toasted to our 23 days as husband and wife before sharing another kiss,” Jake added sheepishly earning himself another discontent grunt prompting the sound of scribbling.  
“Whatever… Let’s move on…”
And thus they did indeed manage to run through every moment, every second, every turning point of the night while Amy dutifully and neatly as always took notes and, internally, realized that she hadn’t really been aware of a lot of the amorous moments between her and Jake - they sort of just happened, naturally, like a consistent love-pattern. Taking up multiple pages of the notebook, the list clearly reflected this, but Amy still seemed somewhat in denial. Or at least right up until she added the final period to wind-up her final bullet point: J jokingly grabbed A’s butt while yelling “Wifey-butt!” when walking to the car after dinner.
“Oh my god…” Amy complained as her body hopelessly slumped back against the couch where Jake was still resting while also being very much dedicated to his wife’s project dismay, since he was the one who 9 times out of 10 would remind her of forgotten moments, stolen kisses and loving gazes she’d forgotten about.
“I can’t believe it,” she twisted her torso as to look at her husband behind her genuinely expecting a horrified expression matching hers alas instead being met by tired, adoring eyes and a grin that was impossible to hide when his wife’s despair upon realization was this cute.
“Why are you smiling?” she frowned mostly frustrated by the situation but also confused by her husband’s lack of shared sentiment.
“We’ve become the clingy newlyweds you always complained about,” he mumbled the side of his face pressed against one of their throw pillows. “It’s cute. That’s all.”
Amy immediately felt defensive about the accusation, mostly because she knew he was right but that wasn’t exactly the expected outcome when she’d set up this little private investigation of her. “I have not complained about-“
“Oh, you’re so cute when you try to disguise the truth, babe,” he kept grinning. If there was one thing Jake loved it was teasing. Something he loved even more? Teasing Amy Santiago. And something he loved even more? Teasing Amy Santiago when she was in a miffy mood.
“I’m serious! When have I ever complained about a bit of PDA ever? People can do whatever they want,” she had now fully switched, made a 180 turn, in her seat on the floor and looked directly at her husband with a challenging demeanor. Jake was not about to let an opportunity of this greatness like this slip away that easily: he was definitely going to get the most out of it.
“I know it’s hard to face the truth,” he said nonchalantly, definitely playing her, meanwhile he switched to lie on his back as he let out an exaggerated yawn and laced his fingers together behind his head as extra support – and also to look that more pleased with himself and the situation.  “But the Jake Peralta boyfriend gone husband-experience can do these sort of… crazy things to a woman. It’s totally cool, honey, if you’ve just been unconsciously swept away by the rush of having me as your husband. It’s out of your control and that’s okay.”
As well as Jake knew he could push her buttons Amy knew just as well, if not even better, that there were many ways to knock Jake off his cocky perch. This, suddenly, was much more important than what anyone thought of them, or her trying to solve the matter, because them being those clingy newlyweds she always complained about meant she always had her husband wrapped around her little finger. Perhaps, she had to admit, it was hypocritical of her to think like this, when she’d been the one whinnying about random couples’ #twomonthsofmarriage-posts on Instagram (Like, who cares about your two months of marriage, Karen?), and the one to roll her eyes upon overhearing some random woman mention her husband 23 times during a 5-minute conversation at their local coffee shop: she was now that annoying Instagram-couple and coffee shop-woman, all in one… A supreme-annoyingly clingy-wife.
But coming to the realization that, perhaps, she was a hypocrite was her learning from her mistakes, right? That was a good thing.
Either way she didn’t really care because, from where she was still planted on the floor before him, Amy could physically feel her brain have a change of attitude as it shut out any previous doubts and anxieties about what other thought of their marriage, their way of loving each other, and instead replacing it with the sudden brutish need to, first of all, shut Jake up, and second of all, rebel against exterior opinions about them.
She was definitely turning to her annoying newlywed-ways to make her husband shut up.
“I guess,” her before frantic tone was now suddenly completely gone and replaced by a sultry, confident tone matching the new-sprung darkness in her eyes. “But then this…”
Jake’s before tired demeanor was swallowed along with his pride the second his always beautiful, and also incredibly hot wife, pushed herself off the floor and mounted the couch to straddle his hips, more precisely the exact area where he knew she knew there would be no opposing her, with the sleek movements of a lioness sneaking up on its prey. It especially threw him off even further when she repositioned herself, innocently pretending to ‘just get comfortable’, thus applying just the right sultry movement and amount of pressure to this most vulnerable area.
“I guess this…” she made sure the ‘s’ was clearly hissed directly into his ear as she, leaned down over him, slowly bit by bit, started to build him up by allowing her hips another grinding motion thus sending electricity through his entire body, before rounding off her pending taunt, “… is not in my control either then.”
There were no to make it past Jake’s gaping lips, all caught up in tangles in his suddenly very dry throat, although the hitch in his breath in reaction to the movement of her hips couldn’t’ve escaped her in a million years. She had him right where she wanted him.
“Is it?” she taunted again unbending her torso back up to sit up straight.
His hands which had before been resting carefree behind his head escaped its spot finding a new home on her waist, gently tracing up and down its curves like a potter shaping soft clay into artwork.
“Ames,” he whimpered upon the sensation of feeling her hands being placed on top of his to guide them downwards, past the narrowest part of her curvature, and fixed on the fullest part of her hips – where she wanted them to be. For now, that is. By instinct, being very familiar with his favorite kind of handful, Jake’s fingers dug into the fabric-clad flesh not caring whether or not he’d leave marks: her uniform would surely cover it in the morning.
“I’m sorry, I just don’t think I can control it when you’re around me, husband,” she definitely felt his body quiver at his still somewhat new title and, God, how sinful of a meaning that simple word had suddenly gained in the moment. Having fulfilled their duty of guiding him to where she wanted his touch, Amy’s hands made their way off of his before torturously sliding up his torso to play with the first, top button of his dark green flannel – one of her favorites on him… and, of course, off. Meeting her secret expectations his hands reacted to her undressing him by sliding his hands down further behind her to then, instead of her waist, grab the curve of her ass, additionally allowing himself to pull her abdomen into a soft motion against him in the desperate need of the friction she’d already given him a foretaste of. Pride was not a thing he contained much of around Amy Santiago-Peralta: was he going to let her make him unravel at the seams so easily? Absolutely. Would he be down for whatever direction she planned on taking this in? Without a doubt, even if it meant just making out followed by some cuddling, although he was currently rock hard and internally praying that she wouldn’t stop the course of things any time soon.
Her fingers popped the last button of his flannel, and with a simple look, she wordlessly ordered him to sit up straight, which he dutifully did, thus allowing her to push the fabric off of his broad shoulders before proceeding to abandon it on the floor. It might’ve been her favorite flannel on him but she liked it even more on the surface of their carpet. Thinking that she had full control of the situation, Amy was definitely startled at the sensation of Jake’s teeth taking a bite into the sensitive skin of her neck, the extra tender area right beneath where her jaw met the side of her throat and whether it was what he’d set out to do or not, he surely extracted a long, deep sigh from her now, between the fondling and the bites, much more agitated body. Seemed as if Jake Santiago-Peralta was back on track after being knocked off his feet for a moment, and though she did immensely enjoy having the upper hand, there was something about Jake fighting his way back to dominance that undeniably had her body feel some kind of way.
She obviously couldn’t, it being physically impossible, see it for herself but oh how she could feel the way her husband’s teeth and lips were painting colorful love-bruises on her more than usual tan and crisp skin (Thank you very much, 2 week honeymoon in Mexico). Although, before her mind could wander off to create a mental top 5-list of most effective ways to hide said up and coming hickeys, her awareness shifted to the feeling of her husband’s purposive hands grabbing the skirt of her dress, pulling it up to bundle droopily around her waist, and earning him a tiny hitch in her throat to be felt where his teeth were still attached to her.
All the teasing, the control she’d gained in counter to his cockiness, had with the snap of the fingers dissolved into the shameless abandoning of herself, giving in to the fervor he so powerfully incited within her.
“Stop worrying,” he slowly ran his hands up under the bundled material before redirecting his hands back to hold onto the soft pulp of her ass, this time the only barrier being the fabric of her panties, earning him a tiny squirm telling him she slowly began to unravel at the seams – just for him. His lips targeted a new area: hers. “You’re my wife. I’m your husband. No one gets to decide what can and can’t do.”  
As if to enhance his point, making sure she wouldn’t forget anytime soon, there was a brief moment where he drew back just a few inches to look directly into her eyes with passion still burning in his. Meanwhile one hand had left her behind and instead purposefully grabbed her jaw, making sure to keep the grip somewhat soft as to not hurt her but still firm enough to make sure she would look back.  If he hadn’t had a certain agenda in mind he would’ve let the image before him bring him to his knees: Amy, messy hair, swollen lips, dark eyes, ruffled and barely holding on dress. But he had to stay firm and focused. His hand didn’t let go of her jaw and she dutifully complied deeply turned on by the discourse of the events and this persona Jake had chosen to bring out. Usually she loved having the upper hand during sexy timez, but somehow, seeing how Jake was handling her when her mind was spinning out of control, his sudden craving for dominance came like a blessing in disguise.
His lips crashed with hers, and being distracted like she was by his mesmerising dominant persona, it took her by both storm and surprise thus not being able to hold back a pure, honest moan holding so much pleasure. Only the way his fingers teasingly traced the lace on the edge of her panties could come near taking her attention away from what, in the moment, felt like her life’s hottest kiss.
“Understood?” he breathed into her lips barely able to with the lack of air in his lungs. She nodded grasping desperately at the soft white fabric of his undershirt.
“Good,” he growled, pleased by the newfound wet fabric between his wife’s legs meaning he was certainly doing something right: he had her exactly where he wanted her, both physically and mentally, and he had his now slick fingers as proof.
“Now,” he continuously toyed with the fabric, feeling up her heat before slowly edging the pantie as far down as her bent legs straddling him would allow. “You’re going to rip that list out of your notebook… ” his lips slid away from hers redirecting to nibble on her ear lobe. “Then you’re going to throw it out… ” a kiss to the shell of her ear followed behind, setting up his final act of persuasion. She was so far gone under the influence of his touch that she didn’t even care to disagree with having to throw out 20 minutes dedicated research, ink from her favorite pen and quality paper from one of her best notebooks.
“… and then your husband is going to take you to your bedroom and fuck you so hard you’ll forget the others even said anything at all. I’ll make sure you never complain about being newlyweds ever again.”
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ficsandcatsandficsandcats · 5 years ago
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I saw that you do headcanons now. What are some kinky headcanons you have for Jask? I’d really like to know. I absolutely love your fics that delve into the d/s stuff. They’re brilliant and so well done.
Ooh good question! I’m borrowing this alphabet format from Joz in an attempt to be thorough
Disclaimer: these are just my headcanons, my opinions, they do not reflect the fandom at large or canon
 A - Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)
Caring and nurturing. He provides some form of aftercare after sex even if it wasn’t kink related at all, making sure they’re cleaned up and comfortable. Most of his partners haven’t been ones where they or he could spend the night but he still tries to make sure he leaves them satisfied in every way. I think he’s very tender in general and if he isn’t too tired out he pens some notes down for his next song.
B -Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
I mean, listen, if he doesn’t really enjoy his chest and its abundance of hair he has a funny way of coping with insecurity so I’m gonna say he likes it. I think his favorite part of his partner changes with the partner (he enjoys finding little unique things about each person whether it’s freckles or an interesting birthmark or scar etc.) but I see him being a fan of a nice ass and a pretty mouth on any gender.
C - Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)
He tries not to come inside of his partners for obvious pregnancy reasons with uterus-possessing partners and also because it feels too intimate for his casual dalliances (even though yes he loves them he also feels that’s just not really a thing you do unless that is Your Person). He likes to finish on his partner both to spare the sheets (easy cleanup and easier to hide from jealous husbands) and because he does like how his partner looks when they’re panting, covered in sweat and come. He swallows.
D - Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
On one very memorable day he slept with both a person and their parent in the same 24-hour period. Separate, not together (ew) and neither party ever found out and he intends to keep it that way
E - Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
Jaskier is sufficiently experienced but always eager to get more practice in. He is very adept at pleasing many different bodies but that doesn’t make him cocky. He sees each partner as a new experience and doesn’t assume he knows how to please them just because he’s pleased others. This is one of the reasons he is such a very good partner.
F - Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)
Strongly swayed by what his partner likes but I see him enjoying the humble missionary position. Not as kinky as people may expect but he likes the intimacy and the ability to look into his partner’s eyes.
G - Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)
He weaves between the two. He knows that sex is a dialogue and he follows it as it goes, staring deeply into someone’s eyes one moment and giggling with them in the next.
I - Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)
As I said, Jaskier really enjoys intimacy. He likes to focus on his partner and get lost in the feeling without thinking about consequences (hence the courtly reputation)
J- Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)
I don’t picture him doing this much. He’s on the road a lot and Geralt has that damned witcher hearing. Also I think Jaskier enjoys another person’s body more than his hand and he is cocky enough to know that he can get that companionship if he wants it. He has been known to enjoy mutual masturbation.
K - Kink (One or more of their kinks)
While Jaskier is a romantic I think he also enjoys being dominant. Those two things are opposing roles by any means but I guess I’m just saying it’s not all rose petals and it’s also leather paddles ya feel?
L - Location (Favourite places to do the do)
He enjoys getting to do it in a bed because I think usually he just gets what he gets where he gets it (again thinking of jealous husbands/courtly reputation) but he also enjoys getting creative. It’s like a brain puzzle. We’re in this barn and I Must Have You and sure we could do it on the ground but what if we stacked those haybales just so…
M - Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
A stiff breeze?
But actually, I think Jaskier gets really turned on by competence. A person can be lovely but if they’re lovely AND adept at something (even something not having anything whatsoever to do with sex) he really likes that. And the show off in him goes “well let me show you what I do!” Also wit. He trades in words and enjoys some banter.
N - NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)                                 
I don’t think there’s much he wouldn’t do. I don’t see him being into degradation with his partners, giving or receiving. I also think he is decidedly against knife play after the Djinncident
O - Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)
Jaskier loves to go down on his partners. It’s an understood thing that it will be a part of sex unless his partner doesn’t want it. He also really enjoys receiving but I think giving just edges it out in preference
P - Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
All over the board. Usually sex with Jaskier is going to go through a few speeds unless pressed for time or intentionally stretching things out to tease his partner.
Q - Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)
Jaskier is the undisputed master of the quickie thanks to experience but he prefers to take his time.
R - Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)
Absotively Posilutely
S - Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)
I think he has decent stamina and if he has the time to go more than one round during the refractory period he’s still doing something with/to his partner even if it’s just a massage or making out
T - Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
Slipping into Modern!AU here because of course they had toys back in the day but I’m horrified at even the potential concept of splinters There. Yes, Jaskier enjoys toys and uses them on himself and on his partner and has toys his partners use on him (I’m talkin’ ‘bout the strap, lads). He invests a decent amount in quality toys and has a good sampling, some for more special occasions and some used regularly. He has some toys that are like his staple ingredients he will make sure to stock back up on when it dies (a good clitoral stimulating vibrator, for example). Also he has strong opinions about what you do and do not use to tie people up. You do not use handcuffs which can cause actual damage. Instead you use bondage tape or rope designed for it. Perhaps a tie, though that’s still not ideal.
U - Unfair (how much they like to tease)
So Very Much
He is a cheeky little bastard and he loves to make you beg for it
V - Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
I think Jaskier is quiet, mostly whispering and muttering under his breath through most of it (again, somewhat learned through necessity) but he can be provoked to be louder if someone really works at it and he feels safe
W - Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)
Jaskier never asks his partner to do something he wouldn’t do and he won’t do anything to them that he wouldn’t want them to do to him in return unless they have a specific fetish he isn’t about but is willing to engage with
Y - Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
Maybe a controversial opinion but I think our boy is a bit of a sex drive camel. He goes decent stretches sometimes without having much opportunity for it and I think he can be sustained for a bit after a really good night. He would prefer to do it more often but it’s not something that drives him to distraction, if that makes sense.
Z - ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
I think Jaskier stays awake until his partner falls asleep, or at least tries to just in case they need something.
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lowkey-gt · 5 years ago
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part 5 of the marichat g/t au, HUGE THANKS to @miniature-knight​ again
realised i should maybe tag what happens in them??
tags: size difference, anxious big, petting, handheld, slight growth, kiss(???)
part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4
“What happened, Chat?”
Marinette was sure he had been fine when they parted ways after the akuma fight, but then again, she had left in such a rush to be back in time for her date that she must have missed the signs. She tries not to let her guilt show on her face
Chat looks down at Marinette feeling a WHIRLWIND of bad emotions - still upset that he can’t detransform, guilt churning in his gut that he was here but Adrien wasn’t, anxious about being caught by Marinette when he’d been trying to stay hidden, horrified that he’d just scared her to boot, and oh god is she dressed up? Did she get dressed up for him? And now he was here being a problem for her again, keeping her from her date, but her date would never come because he was stuck like this—
Chat can only shake his head. He speaks in a voice almost too small for his huge form;
“Nothing happened— uh— I didn’t mean to frighten you. I didn’t mean to be here— j-just pretend you didn’t see me, princess,”
Marinette tries to convince him to come down but he looks more anxious than ever, looking like he’s gonna disappear back into the darkness, which is the last thing Marinette wants if he’s upset about something
They’re both startled by noise in the street below and marinette WHIPS around thinking maybe adrien showed up oH MY GOD- but no it’s a couple making their way home
And Marinette panics for a second but they seem completely unaware, and then she glances back at Chat and she almost thinks he’s cut and run. But then she realises no he’s there but he’s blended so perfectly with the dark that he’s almost made himself invisible, staying perfectly still and disturbing nothing in the night, and she watches the couple walk past and chatter on without noticing a thing out of place
Once they’ve watched them pass by, chat turns back to marinette, head lowered, ears down, and quietly rebuts her again
He says she looks busy, commenting on how dressed up she is, so surely she had somewhere to be tonight
Marinette blinks a couple of times and says yes she did have a date tonight. Chat feels his stomach twist again and is about to tell her she should get back to that, hoping he wouldn’t choke on his words, but is surprised when he sees her pulling out her phone
When he asks what she’s doing, she glances up and keeps texting without looking, and says she’s letting her date know she can’t make it tonight
Chat: Wh—! Wait but— weren’t you looking forward to it?
Marinette: Of course! But, being there for you is much more important. Silly kitty
And the smile she gives him is so warm that chat can feel himself almost melt inside out
Marinette is disappointed to knock adrien back but she didn’t think twice about doing it. She writes a very apologetic message and hits send. Now she just had to coax chat down
Chat is flustered at her unwavering kindness, her dropping everything to try and help him, and he furiously wills himself to detransform again so he can try and salvage this evening for her, but it’s no use, when he’s anxious about it it’s impossible to concentrate hard enough, and he resists the urge to scrub his face in frustration
Marinette’s voice snaps him back into focus, though, like it always does, and he realises she’s sent the message and is asking him to come down to her again
He hesitates, a weighty pause, and then carefully, quietly, gradually, chat climbs down off the roof and onto the street and marinette is again shocked at how stealthy and catlike he still is at this size
And then he’s crouched by marinette’s balcony, with his head and shoulders reaching over the railing even with him bent down like this
Marinette can see he keeps trying to detransform but knows he’s still just a huge ball of anxiety right now so she decides to take his mind off things and starts idly chit-chatting, trying to distract him even a little
It takes a bit but Chat eventually starts talking, she even makes him laugh, albeit nervously, a few times, and the conversation drifts to her now-cancelled evening plans...chat tentatively asks her who she was meeting with anyway
Marinette is leaning on her railing and smiles and blushes when she starts talking about adrien, and Chat is surprised at how fondly she seems to be speaking about him, he didn’t think she thought much of him at all really as her classmate
“This guy…it sounds like you think of him as a really good friend?” he asks, with hope in his voice
What he’s not prepared for is her answer, which is, “More than a friend actually…much more. He’s the best person I know, and he means the world to me - even though I could never tell him that to his face,”
He’s thankful that Marinette is shyly looking down so she doesn’t catch Chat’s mouth drop open, or see him go pink from toe to tip
Marinette thinks about the date she might have been on tonight with adrien, but only for a moment - because then she’s looking back at Chat Noir and smiling warmly again
“And no, you’re not him Chat Noir - with his good looks and smile,” she teases, “but even so... I couldn’t think of a better way to spend my night than with you.”
It’s to make him feel better, less anxious, of course, but Marinette doesn’t say it because of that. She says it because it’s what she feels right now. It’s true.
She almost regrets it a second later when she realises Chat looks like he’s about to pass out
She straightens and calls to him worried, and it’s hard to tell in the warm streetlight but she thinks he’s gone bright red, and then Chat is resting his forehead on the railing trying to steady himself
He can’t take the double-whammy of compliments. Not from her. She liked him?? Liked Adrien?? That was too much in itself to take in but on top of that she still missed the date just to be there with Chat. This was unprecedented and he can feel his heart beating in his ears
Marinette can hear his heart too, as she hovers next to him. She pauses, and then reaches her hand out to where his head is leaning, and then strokes his hair, and starts to pat his head tenderly
Chats breath hitches and he shivers, like he always does, she has him in the palm of her hand whenever she touches him like this, and he bows his head towards her and squints his eyes closed
She kneads her hands through his hair as his face turns into her, looking down at him with sympathy, and chat tries to hold back purrs that he knows will be too loud for the quiet night air, but marinette can feel him vibrating under her touch all the way through her body
And then she starts when he lifts his head slightly and suddenly their foreheads are touching. His breath is heavy and warm as his face rests against her
She glances down and is met with his gaze, as he looks up at her with huge half-lidded eyes like she is the world, and now she’s the one who’s turning pink
There’s a beat, and then a flicker of hesitation in Chat’s eyes, Marinette frowns ever so lightly but then sees his hand raising over the balcony, painfully slow. He watches her, his nerves returning, making certain she sees it before moving it any closer, but marinette only runs the back of her hand down his cheek encouragingly
His fingers reach her, and he cups his hand slowly around her, and then presses his thumb gently to her cheek. He watches her almost fascinated as he runs his thumb down her, returning her stroking, and Marinette’s eyes widen as she shivers, shocked at how gentle and tender the touch is, even from hands that are that much taller than her
She lets him handle her, his fingers nothing but delicate, mimicking him as her own eyes flutter closed, the same feeling of melting running through her now, and Chat’s heart thumps even louder as he feels her fold back into his hands
“...you look beautiful tonight, Marinette,”
She’s startled out of her daze, eyes blinking open, as he murmurs the compliment to her, seeing him gingerly pinching the fabric of her dress between his fingers. His voice had sent a rumble through her whole body, making her shiver against him again
Marinette feels a rush of emotions, too many to describe, and feels herself beam down at him, and she strokes the bridge of his nose and chat’s eyes close again in bliss
Then, there’s another startling moment, because chat exhales heavily, like a weight off his chest had been lifted, and then he’s moving against her again, but she realises with a jolt it’s because he’s rising — his hand getting bigger around her, his forehead sliding up against her, his form gaining more height — but it stops before she can step back, it only lasts a few seconds. She watches him startled, but it wasn’t even enough for him to notice it happen.
Marinette collects herself quietly, slightly stunned, as he breathes even more deeply now, the blush creeping back into her cheeks as she thinks that maybe that was something... inexplicable, only for her, only because of her
She runs her hand against him again and Chat makes a sound, and his head tilts up. She didn’t think they could be closer but his face slides towards her, and then a gasp sticks in her throat when his lips press against her whole body, his hand curling and gently pressing her closer behind, and though it didn’t reach her own lips, she knows. Marinette squeezes her arms against him and he makes another sound into her, through her. She knows.
Hours later, and Adrien is lying in his bed, after a long night, finally having detransformed. He hugs a pillow to his chest and stares at the ceiling. Every night since he met her, he has drifted off to sleep with thoughts of Ladybug.
Tonight, he dreams of Marinette.
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scpbad · 5 years ago
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‘My bad experience with an SCP Wiki moderator.’
This was submitted by a user who wishes to remain anonymous. This is not by the author of this blog.
Hi, I hope it’s ok for me to send a huge wall of text like this, because it’s the shortest I could manage. I’m putting my username in the required submission settings, but I want to remain anonymous in this post. I alluded to what I’m about to describe here in an ask I sent to this blog… about a week ago, I think. The timeline for this experience is approximately November 2018 - June 2019.
In late October of 2018, some things happened between me and another SCP author that scared the shit out of me and made me worry that I would need to leave the SCP community, possibly even delete all traces of my existence off the internet. I don’t want to talk about them here, but my distress was obvious to a few people on Discord, and it was during this time that a wiki author and j-staff member named Uncle Nicolini reached out to me to see if I was ok, despite the fact that we didn’t know each other well. We started talking to each other pretty regularly. We were both very depressed people who’d been through some traumatic experiences, so we were able to relate over that.
After about three weeks, it turned out that he had developed a very strong crush on me. I will admit that I did flirt with him back on a few occasions. At the time I was an openly sexual person. Here’s where the issues started: I am aromantic and bisexual, but the aromantic part is what really matters here. Uncle Nicolini is not. Despite the fact that we had only been talking to each other seriously for a few weeks, he became very angry that I could not feel attracted to him romantically. It got to the point that he threatened to kill himself because I would not be his girlfriend, and tried to manipulate me into believing that my sexual orientation was wrong. I vaguely recall him expressing the idea that women owed him something because of his semi-recent negative experience with a former girlfriend. I was absolutely horrified. At the time, I was barely 19 and he was 24. I tried telling some other people that I still trusted about what was happening, but the response I would get usually wasn’t much better than something like “Oh no, that sucks.”
Eventually I confronted him by text messages (I had his number and I hoped it would make him take me more seriously). I told him straight up what I thought of his behavior, and the response I got was… not very good. The tone I got from his responses was that I was wrong for getting angry at a depressed person, along with an entirely unrelevant excuse as to why I was not allowed to express any form of “passive-aggressiveness” towards him. Eventually we came to an agreement and decided to stay friends, but the apology he gave me was very backhanded and ultimately it felt like I was the one who was being a mean bitch. I genuinely tried to move past it, but over the next few months I couldn’t help but think back to what had happened and I felt like the incident was always haunting all of our interactions. To Nico’s credit - for a few months after this happened, I feel that he did genuinely try to help me with my trauma and be a good friend, which is why I have been extremely hesitant to talk about this publicly. I would not be writing this had I not very recently come to a conclusion about some of his other behavior towards me, which I’ll be talking about later.
Eventually, another major conflict happened between us. In late December through all of January, I was involved in some major drama in the SCP community (related to what I vaguely referenced at the beginning of this post) that resulted in both me and the unnamed author being permanently banned from the SCP Wiki. Though I should have been satisfied, especially after a month of hardship that I feared would go nowhere, I felt as though my experiences had been invalidated by the SCP Wiki admin team, and I was stuck in a situation where although I wanted to still be a part of the SCP community, there were now several barriers to me doing so, not to mention the way that my reputation was permanently affected. For the next two months I was a very aggressive ball of negativity, and I didn’t notice how much I was bothering some people around me. A bunch of people made it clear (though politely, out of respect for my situation) that they wanted nothing more to do with me. Uncle Nicolini was the one who took it upon himself to show me why my negativity was so damaging, and before I continue, I want to be clear that I think he was right. However, and I understand that it may be problematic that I cite these during a situation where I was the one in the wrong - there were two things about this situation that were incredibly troubling to me. The first is that during the argument, I also brought up Nico’s past sexual harassment of me and how months later I was still very upset about it, even though I tried my best not to let it show. His initial response to me bringing it up was something like “I thought I already apologized for that.” He did eventually give me a real apology after some probing, not the half-assed line he had given me in November to shut me up, but it made it clear to me that he did not understand how he had affected me, or perhaps did not care.
Simultaneously - and I’m going to do my absolute best to explain my argument here - I also believe that this encounter was when I first noticed a pattern of gaslighting from Nico that would become more obvious over time, though I would not be able to put it into words until now. During our encounter, Nico also told me that he thought I was “emotionally manipulative, but not intentionally.” Something like that. It was not at all a light accusation. And yet, by the end, he was back to saying that he greatly wanted to continue to be my friend for a long time. I accept the possibility that he was wishing the best for me and genuinely wanted me to see that my behavior was bad so I could be a better person, and was using the argument as a test to see whether or not I could self-reflect. What I don’t find a coincidence is that I feel this exact situation happened multiple times over the course of our friendship, even in situations that were much lower stakes. I notice a pattern in which Nico would find something to make me feel bad about, turn it into a big deal, and then shortly after go back to saying that he greatly wanted to be my friend and hoped I would always be his friend. I have come to the conclusion that this was likely controlling behavior on the part of Nico. I’m unsure what his exact motivations behind it could have been, but I think my concern is legitimate.
Connected to this observation - I recall one time, when I was becoming involved with a similar but non-SCP writing site after I had given up on returning to the SCP fandom, an instance in which I believe that Nicolini intentionally tried to start drama between me and a friend. I became aware of the fact that he had been showing a server of other people our private DMs, or possibly just my private thoughts, without my permission to former friends who were hesitant to support the community I was becoming involved with due to the fact that it contained a mix of people from both the SCP Wiki and RPC authority. I am not entirely sure what his motivations behind this could have been, because even after everything that had happened I still openly supported the SCP community, but I fear that he was purposefully trying to make people distrustful of me behind my back. Why he would do this, I’m not entirely sure. When I expressed concern over what he was doing, because it made a friend of mine upset for a short time, my feelings were largely shrugged off.
I also noticed, over time (because I did keep trying to be his friend), a worrying pattern of aggression from Nico towards other people. I observed that he had a pattern of getting into fights during opportunities where he knew that he either could not get in trouble for it or that his anger was directed at someone who was generally unpopular with the crowd he hung out with. He seemed to partly acknowledge that he had anger issues, but would often blame it on an excuse like “my antidepressants make me aggressive” or “I’m stressed out because of the work I do for the SCP Wiki.” While these explanations are understandable to an extent, they ultimately do not fully excuse hateful behavior towards an individual, and I worry that they indicate that Uncle Nicolini still has issues with owning up to his own bad/abusive behavior when he needs to.
At one point I ended up speaking to a confidant in private about my some of my experiences with Uncle Nicolini, because I was wondering if I should block him like my gut was telling me to, even though I felt like I should suck up my concerns and try to maintain our friendship. He told me not to put pressure on myself and take some more time to think. Eventually, though, a certain event forced me to admit that I was deeply uncomfortable with Nico’s past and present behavior, this feeling would not go away, he had an increasing habit of dismissing my concerns, and for my own mental health it was better that I find a way to get away from him somehow. I understand that this method is not ideal, and it may be seen as leading him on, but over time I tried to talk to him less and less, and when he did reach out to me, I would say everything that I thought he wanted me to say, and I finally blocked him on every platform I could think of when I thought the coast was clear at the start of July. I don’t regret doing so.
Before anyone asks, yes, I did report him to SCP staff. I told them about the sexual harassment I had experienced from him because I figured it was all that was actionable. I didn’t push the issue that much, because sometimes it’s just…. exhausting laying so much of your private life bare after repeat scary experiences in a community that was supposed to be fun. Either they didn’t believe me or thought he was too valuable to lose, because about a month after I reported him he was promoted to moderator, and only one person vaguely referenced his behavior in the promotion thread.
I haven’t spoken to Nico in several months, and therefore I can’t tell anyone for certain if his behavior has improved. I don’t wish any form of harassment towards him as a result of this post. I don’t feel like I can do anything more public than this, due to the potential for backlash and the fact that I’m drained from a year of nonstop drama and other traumatic events. I strongly advise that young people, especially young GRSM people be wary when choosing to interact with this person. I strongly suggest that you do not engage with him sexually in any way. Last I saw, he still has a habit of being flirty with people in the community (and though I cannot confirm this for sure, I feel like I’ve noticed some slight creepiness towards trans people - especially trans women - from him.) As I always recommend when interacting with individuals from the SCP community - because I have seen much bigger, much worse, and much scarier drama than anything I’ve described here - please don’t ever be afraid to ask someone you trust for info about another person.
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icosmohunters · 5 years ago
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chapter seven : candor
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chapter seven of cosmo hunters!
word count : 4.5k words
synopsis : after the meeting, hope finds herself feeling suspicious. all of this talk about a coup d’etat has her throwing glances at the pirates who she believes might be responsible for all of this. but upon taking the time to sit down and talk, she’s about to uncover some horrifying details.
once the meeting had come to an end, hope wandered out through the doors with a look of hysteria plastered onto a pale face. she had expected the whole experience to have been more subtle rather than something that was going to stun her out of her wits.
it had been like entering a dream sequence, perhaps the most jarring one yet. she’s never been into a meeting like, let along received news of a possible overthrow of a major corporation like voyage inc. it was ghastly. it wasn’t even a political party nor a part of a major government. it was a global company that manufactured the resources required for the human space colonization process.
but voyage had started off as scientists and engineers and mathematicians and ended up into lieutenants and generals and politicians. from an ambitious project into a major contribution to the evolution of humans. and now, there were signs of people showing hostility towards them.
potentially physical hostility, based on what she’d heard.
“ you okay, hope? ”.
the girl rose her head with furrowed brows and saw hina standing in front of her, expression worried and tender. “ y-yeah, of course. it’s just quite overwhelming. but i think it’ll all work out ”, she replied. even though she felt absolutely no confidence in her own words.
“ of course it will! all of this sucks, i know, but i don’t think it’ll get too serious. oh, hiro and i are going to get some food from the cafeteria ”, the other girl pointed in the direction of the boy who’d gone off to a vending machine to acquire something. “ they’re serving chicken katsu curry for lunch. ”
hope’s stomach churned. as hungry as she was after not having had a proper meal in a couple of days, she also felt too anxious to eat anything. and if something settled in her stomach, she wouldn’t be able to hold it there. not with how much her heart was racing at that moment.
the reason why she was particularly worried was because of the pirates. she had been at j-colony the same time as the act of vandalism against voyage was committed. and she recalled that she had passed out because of that bomb, she didn’t know how long she was out for but the pirates were out whilst she was unavailable.
doing potentially anything, getting up to no good.
perhaps it was just convenient that it had all happened at the same time. besides, the city was so large that it could have potentially been anyone. but her suspicions were still intact, especially since she knew the crew’s hatred towards this very corporation. the reason for it, she wasn’t aware of. 
“ uh, yeah, i’ll go ”.
the way to the cafeteria was long, but hope didn’t really take the time to notice it because she was so deep in thought. she almost walked face-first into so many people if hiro hadn’t pulled her back the last minute. he scolded her, inquiring her what the matter was but she didn’t reply at first.
if the meeting room had been large, the cafeteria was larger. it stretched on for a great length and walls covered only in glass allowed a great view of the outside world, well, moon. titan wasn’t particularly grand at that moment considering it was raining methane of all things. but the view was familiar and brought a sense of safety for the young bounty hunter.
tables scattered around, hope searched aimlessly for the pirates. surely they wouldn’t have gotten far, especially with how great this place was, unless if they truly wanted to risk putting themselves in danger. it was already dangerous, to begin with, being here. but they’d promised to behave so where were they?
“ are you looking for your people? ”, hiro asked and hope nodded slightly. “ well, if they’ve been here before, they couldn’t have gotten lost. but you said they’re newbies so you just have to pray you’ll find them. ”
hope did pray, mostly under her breath, and she wasn’t even religious. she just hoped the universe would gift her with a day of relief. or even a moment of relief, especially in this climate, especially when her suspicions were high and especially when she was carefully trying to avoid problems.
sighing, hope followed hiro and hina to where the food was being served. thank god she didn’t have to pay, that was the last thing she needed. so upon collecting her food, a plate of chicken katsu curry with sticky rice, not to mention a carton of juice and a mandarin to peel and enjoy, she walked to one of the tables and took a seat. hina sat right beside her.
“ so, tell me, what do you think? it’s a bit weird, isn’t it? for years, it seemed all so peaceful but now it’s gone to shit. it always does ”, hina began and saw hope’s resilience to talk. “ it just changes a lot of things. ”
hiro sighed, lifting up his spoon and gazing at it for a moment. “ i think it was inevitable. voyage has a lot of influence and there are just some people out there who refuse to accept it. it doesn’t help that voyage doesn’t tolerate rebellion ”, he said before shrugging softly.
“ tell me about it, these guys may pose themselves as angels as they’re helping with the colonization process. but they’re like a dictatorship, nobody can challenge them without getting bashed ”.
hope stared down at her food. it felt wrong to be sitting with two proper voyage workers, hiding the fact that she had brought pirates into headquarters, pirates who were potentially responsible for the vandalism at j-colony. she inhaled deeply and looked to the side.
her eyes widened slightly when she spotted a familiar trail of blonde hair and a voyage uniform. vivienne. standing up abruptly, hope called her, “ io! ”.
vivienne was no idiot, so she turned swiftly upon hearing her fake name being called. her face lit up with a small smile, and hope couldn’t help but feel guilty for earlier, for having snapped out for no basic necessity other than due to her explosive temper and defensive ego.
the blonde suddenly turned and called out to someone. soon, hope saw the pirates coming in. dawn’s face lit up after seeing the bounty hunter, whom she waved excitedly at before dragging the others over. 
“ oh, you’re cute! ”, hina commented when the young girl approached.
dawn’s cheeks appeared to glow pink at that point, “ t-thank you. i’m stella, by the way. ” the girl looked towards hope who didn’t seem willing to meet her gaze. “ is it okay if we sit with you guys? ”.
“ as long as you manage to stay quiet ”, hiro said, raising his glass of water to his lips before letting his gaze all on hope. “ care to introduce us, hope? ”.
gulping, the girl nodded. “ that’s stella. blondie is io, one with the bruise is leo, nerd is benjamin, and the other one’s roger. ”
hiro snorted, “ roger? ”. his gaze flew towards enzo who rose a brow as if posed with a challenge and hope wished that nothing argumentative would come out of these two meeting. usually, two confident people clash, and most of the time it’s not in a good way. 
“ yeah. you must be hiro ”, enzo said slowly, but then his gaze fell on hina and softened. “ and who’s this pretty lady? ”. hope swore she heard dom groan slightly in the back.
hina seemed to giggle and waved in greeting, “ hina koyabashi! it’s a pleasure to meet all of you. why don’t you all get some food? it’s really good today. ” hope didn’t understand how this girl was so pleasant, it was puzzling but she chose not to question something she probably won’t understand, hope isn’t a pleasant person.
“ oh, that’d be nice. but we’re planning on getting food elsewhere anyway, thank you for asking ”, vivienne said but still sat down beside hope, who was struggling to eat her food. “ so, how was the meeting? ”.
“ wonderful ”, hiro spoke, putting his glass of water down. “ we found out that there have been some acts of vandalism being committed against voyage at the j-colony. someone completely trashed the base there overnight and now they think a coup is being committed. ”
“ a what? ”, enzo questioned.
hope glared down at her plate, “ an uprising. ”
“ o-oh. ”
she felt the tension in the air almost immediately, hearing vivienne inhale deeply beside her but not a word came from the pirates, which was weird. and it only added to hope’s suspicions, but she didn’t show any reaction to indicate that. she simply let hiro continue to explain.
“ but now we’re on high alert. they’re investigating nearly every colony in search of any criminal activities targetting institutions. stuff on earth is completely messed up, some people are being put on leave to ensure their safety ”, he stated.
hope hadn’t heard about that. feeling her stomach churn once more, she simply stabbed her straw through the hole on her juice carton and inhaled deeply. her father was most likely not going to get his arm nor his treatment, he was going to be put off work completely.
how long was her old man going to have to wait to get the treatment he deserved immediately? she needed to visit him. but she just felt like something was going to get in the way, and she needed to prevent them. she’s been avoiding going back home in fear that she’ll get attached and not be able to go back to work. but now she wanted to see her family.
“ that’s . . . a shame ”, dom uttered and then sighed. “ well, voyage has angered many people, i can see why some people have revolted. not that i agree with it but it makes sense. ”
hina snapped her fingers and pointed, “ see? he gets it! i’m not the only one who thinks this company can be bat shit insane sometimes. hope, you recruited some very smart people. ” hope didn’t react at first, she just gave a halfassed chuckle and tried to eat.
hiro’s gaze remained on hope for a long time, she felt it but she didn’t think to question him about it. she could already imagine the thoughts rolling through his brain, the questions and the assumptions on how hope came to find these people and she didn’t have the brainpower to make up a credible story.
“ how’d you find ‘em, hope? ”.
“ hm? ”.
before hiro could repeat himself, vivienne swept in, now the ball was in her court. “ we were always looking to join something like voyage. thankfully, hope gave us the opportunity and signed us in. we’re newbies thanks to her. ”
“ oh, that’s so nice! but it seems like you guys already ran into some trouble ”, the girl beside hope stated. hina glanced over at dom and tilted her head. “ is that why leo has a bruise? ”.
now hope like she was going to throw up. she gulped and tried not to bring attention to herself whilst also avoiding dom’s gaze. she was bad at many things but knowing when someone is looking at you is something she’s mastered.
“ we ran into some trouble with pirates ”, dom said slowly, crossing his arms over his chest. “ i’m not the best fighter so i got hit. but we also jacked the guy up afterward so it’s all fair and square. ” hope felt like she was being threatened, she couldn’t look up, nor even think about having her food.
hiro scoffed, “ pirates? well, that just proves yoh’s theory. it’s just criminals on loose sturring up a fuss because they can’t see that they’re in the wrong. ” hope really wished he would stop talking now.
“ you don’t know that ”, enzo said with a rising tone. biting back a wince, hope adjusted herself in her chair. her gaze fell on quinn who was already looking back at her. he didn’t need to say much but his eyes held a sweetness in them that she’s never noticed before, a caring undertone to a usually grim expression.
“ oh, come on, some of these criminals on the loose turn into criminals because they think voyage is against ‘em or something. as far as i’m aware, voyage has only ever attacked anyone because they attacked first ”, hiro continued but then pursed his lips and shrugged smugly. “ that’s just my theory. ”
“ hope, you okay? ”.
the attention suddenly shifting onto her stunned her. she blinked slightly and reeled back in shock before sighing, and then offering them all a nod. “ y-yeah, absolutely. i just don’t feel like eating anymore ”, she said.
vivienne’s hand met her shoulder once more and this time hope didn’t shrug it away. “ we should probably get you back to the ship ”, she decided whilst rubbing her back slightly. 
“ oh, you’re leaving so soon? ”, hina said in a tone of sadness, pouting but she nodded and gave the group a smile. “ well, i suppose there’s no reason to stick around. hope, it was lovely meeting you. ”
whilst getting up from her seat, hope saw hina offering a handshake and ultimately accepted, giving a firm one of her own. her gaze went over towards hiro and he just nodded and waved her off. cold, as per usual.
hope then followed lazily behind the crew, who seemed more adamant about getting to the ship than she was. but she could almost understand why. they were in a dangerous environment that could potentially end in an altercation that would reveal their identities.
she couldn’t help but throw a gaze over her shoulder, seeing hina wave happily at her and hiro glance back with no interest. still, she reached into her pocket and felt the squishy toy he’d given her, and carried on walking.
after going through the exits and slipping their oxygen helmets on, they traveled back to the ship. hope didn’t even get to say goodbye to creed nor to esme, but she would end up coming back at some point to enjoy it. well, to enjoy the company of the people in the corporation. people whom she didn’t mind being around.
when the stairs for nebula opened, hope stopped and took one quick glance back at the headquarters. the experience here wasn’t the best, but what was she expecting? in a way, she disagreed with hiro’s statement, and now, she could moderately understand the trepidation and hesitation the pirates showed to coming within a range of anyone belonging to voyage.
it was just all bad news. bad news and the strive for perfection.
“ well, thank god that’s over! ”, enzo declared, giving out a loud sigh whilst proceeding to remove all of the garments, especially the badges and the gloves. with quite a lot of distaste, might she add? “ also, hope, i can see why you dislike that guy so much. ”
they had entered the lounge once more and enzo had collapsed onto the couch alongside quinn, a small frown on his face. “ like, is he always that much of a douche? ”, he questioned, arms crossed behind his head.
“ you didn’t even speak to him properly ”, quinn mumbled.
enzo rose up slightly onto his seat and pointed a figure in some general direction, supposedly where hiro was. “ you’re kidding, right? that guy gives off bad villain vibes, you could feel it from a mile away ”, enzo argued.
“ hiro . . . is a complex individual ”, hope cut in, gaining enzo’s attention once more. “ we used to train together, share the same room. he was always competitive, always trying to be the pillar of perfection but what i admire most about him, despite hating his guts, is how precise and watchful he is. ” she took a small pause and took out the animal squishy toy once more. “ he sees, remembers, and acts. ”
dawn gasped and cooed, “ that’s so cute! ”.
“ yeah ”, hope agreed with a small chuckle, raising her brows slightly. “ he gave it to me. he knows i’m not fond of packed environments. the noise usually causes some awful sensations, as they did today, but he kept me from having a total breakdown. ” playing with the toy for a little longer, she soon tucked it back into her pocket. 
quinn hummed before elbowing enzo gently, “ he’s not a villain, cap, he’s just moody. just how you’re not a villain, but you are an arrogant prick. ”
vivienne burst into laughter and hope snorted, averting her gaze away as to avoid being seen smiling so plainly. she had to admit, as much as she wasn’t accustomed to being around so many people, she could get behind the idea of being humored frequently. they provided free humor, so she might as well enjoy it.
hope’s eyes trailed up towards dom whilst quinn and enzo bickered. he seemed to be in a better mood than she’s seen him, but then again, she doesn’t exactly pay much attention to him. but the bruise was obvious now and it was started to grind her gears. she was mad at herself.
yes, he might have deserved it but hope felt like she could have easily stepped back and come out of her fit of blind rage because some guy said something she didn’t like. she’s heard so many things, was spat so many insults at yet he was the one who managed to push her to her limit. and she didn’t even know him!
a stranger doesn’t deserve to make you angry, she reminded herself. but then again, neither do they deserve a punch for making you angry. hope stared for just a little longer and when his head moved as if to look at her, she looked back down.
after a couple of hours, nebula had left titan and they were in outer space once again. hope had chosen to eat her food alone, and she could hear the laughter and chatter from the dining room even from the lounge. it wasn’t disrupting her as much as she’d imagined.
the bounty hunter had changed into some decent clothes, being a t-shirt and some sweatpants because as far as she was aware, she wasn’t going to move from a slow orbit any time soon. she wanted to relax, especially after having such a shaky day.
dawn and vivienne had prepared some nice carbonara pasta with the ingredients hope had in her fridge, and she hated to admit it but it was just like her mother’s back hope. if not better. 
but she had long lost the taste of her mother’s food since she left, and after that, it was mostly microwaved food, she barely had the energy to prepare something fresh. but she could burn the carbs off afterward, even if it hurt every bone in her body.
whilst eating, she was flipping through her stats again since she didn’t get to check them. after having gained some bounty points, her level had risen to sixty-seven, especially considering crimson had been a particularly hard person to catch and considering he was in the top ten most sought after criminals, the reward for his death was high.
hope sighed. rising five levels after one kill felt like a relief, especially considering she would end up on some of the league tables. she didn’t know exactly where she was placed in the board of bounty hunters but she could have been in the top twenty. the recognition is often quite the self-esteem boost.
but even after killing him, she couldn’t help but remain worried. she shouldn’t have brought the pirates to voyage and when the news in the meeting was revealed, she felt sick. in fear that because she slept, she missed the chance of seeing the pirates up to no good. then again, nothing could prove they had anything to do with the incident.
but it was a probability.
and she still had to take these guys to pluto and that’s an easy portal ride away but why was she so hesitant? she wanted to get rid of the problem rather than keep it around but she didn’t want to let them go until she had the answers she required.
thankfully, she wasn’t going to have to wait for long. she felt like dinner had finished when the doors of the lounge opened and she heard some voices filter in and then pause when they seemed to detect her. 
“ hope, have you finished eating? ”.
“ it wasn’t you guys, was it? ”.
hope turned and looked over her shoulder towards the two figures belonging to dawn and dom, who both looked puzzled. and then enzo came in, followed by vivienne and quinn.
she frowned, “ i want to believe that it wasn’t. for some reason, i’m showing the leniency to trust you even though i probably shouldn’t. but if it was you guys who were responsible for the vandalism against voyage, i have to know. and then i’ll make the decision.” hope paused and gulped. “ the last thing i want is to have to remove my trust from the table. ”
“ n-no, of course not ”, enzo began, sounding nervous. “ oh god, no, i know weren’t there when you were passed out but we didn’t go to vandalize anything. we already have targets on our backs, the last thing we want is to cause more mayhem. besides, our feelings towards voyage are sour but they’re not toxic. ”
vivienne interrupted, “ and we don’t even have the funds to buy the resources required considering most of our money got blown up with our ship. all we have is dom’s bank account to save us. we wouldn’t waste money on spray paint and bombs. ”
hope nodded slightly and then looked down. at her trembling hands, she noticed her middle and index finger had crossed and locked together. she didn’t know just how much she believed them but hearing it from them was better than assuming they’d truly done it.
“ don’t tell me you don’t believe us ”, dom began.
hope snapped back quickly, “ i do. ” blinking, she took a moment to gather herself and her thoughts. “ i do believe you. i want to believe you because, i think that i gave you too many chances and if you spoil it this time, i won’t be able to handle it. ”
“ handle what? you can take us to where we have to be now that all of that is over ”, dom persisted, nodding towards some random direction. “ you can take us to pluto, can’t you? ”.
“ y-yes, bu— ”.
“ well, why don’t you take us th— ”.
“ hope, i’ve detected a new addition to your bounty list. ”
a.j saved her once again. the bounty hunter ran a hand through her hair, sighing with frustration. usually, she would go up to her cabin to hear about the details but she didn’t mind sharing them in front of the pirates. it wasn’t like she was going to ask them to go along with it. not after what happened last time.
“ proceed, a.j. ”
“ real name unknown, but the alias voyage has given them is the puppeteer. voyage has signed them as a technological terrorist, as they have been responsible for many government-targeted financial and cyber attacks. it’s said that perhaps they’re looking for money. but others have stated it’s pure psychopathy. they’re on top of the bounty list when it comes to hackers ”.
hope’s eyes widened but she didn’t react as quickly as enzo did after he let out a small exhale, “ the puppeteer? ”.
“ it’s a stupid name ”, dom commented with a snort.
“ no, shut up, i know who they are ”, enzo growled and crossed his arms, hope acknowledged the dense muscles for a moment and then shyly gazed away. “ the puppeteer, you mean the one who was behind the 3017 financial wipe that stole over a hundred billion dollars from global banks? ”.
a.j replied swiftly, “ that is correct. ”
why was he acting like this? hope furrowed her brows slightly whilst staring at enzo, who seemed to be trying to collect his thoughts. “ holy shit ”, he muttered under his breath.
“ enzo, are you al— ”.
“ we’re helping. ”
hope reacted with a scoff, “ are you out of your mind? the last time you tried to help me catch a criminal, you nearly killed me and let him escape! ”. 
“ this is different ”, enzo replied. “ the puppeteer is a force to be reckoned with, they have the capacity of putting an entire country through a blackout that could potentially end with millions of lives lost. they’re a financial thief and have been behind many terrorist attacks committed against innocent people. in concerts and in reunions and meetings. ” he looked towards hope with determined eyes. “ you need to let us help ”.
“ i don’t feel like i owe you that leisure ”, hope said through gritted teeth. “ if this son of a bitch ends up being dangerous, i don’t want anyone dying and me getting the blame for it. ”
dom rolled his eyes, “ you think we’re that incapable of fighting? ”.
“ i mean you nearly let crimson get away through that smoke even though you knew how to handle yourselves ”, the bounty hunter snapped and forced herself to calm down, to lower her tone. “ i’m not letting anyone help. i can handle it myself. ”
“ consider it as part of the bargain, hope ”, enzo insisted, god he was so persistent, it made her blood boil! 
“ dying isn’t part of it. and that’s final. ”
“ fine, we’ll just devise a plan without you in it but we’re going to somehow help, we are. don’t underestimate us ”, enzo said and turned to walk away. and the pirates followed, some reluctantly but hope called out just before the doors could close. 
“ fine! ”.
they turned and looked at her with equal expressions of shock. hope couldn’t believe that, yet again, she was going to let herself be put in danger because of these pirates, that she was going to try to work alongside them as if they were a team. this was supposed to be her mission, her well-earned reward. she didn’t want to share it with anyone, call her selfish if you want but she’s been doing fine for four years by herself. without pirates mingling with her business.
and yet here she was. 
risking it all over again.
“ y-you . . . you can help me hunt the puppeteer down. ”
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lucky-clover-gazette · 6 years ago
Text
catnip
fic request by aliciachan-rp:
Catra gets her hands on catnip. Adora has to keep her out of trouble and away from shadoweaver until it wears off.
catradora | 1754 words | fluff & angst
read it on ao3 or under the cut
Adora had just wanted to stretch after her three-minute nightly shower. Training had been ridiculously stressful today—Shadow Weaver herself had been in attendance, reporting presumably to Hordak. So Adora had gone hard… perhaps too hard, she reflected, as she flexed her leg on her bed, her muscles aching.
“Heyyyyyyyy Adora,” said a voice from behind her back, somehow lacking its usual snarky resonance. Adora raised an eyebrow and turned to face Catra, who leaned against the bunk bed’s post, arms crossed over her chest.
“Where were you today?” Adora demanded, her face quickly turning red. “Shadow Weaver was observing!”
If this surprised Catra, her face didn’t show it. Instead, she just smirked, flashing a sarcastic peace sign instead.
“Was a ‘lil busy today, Dora,” she said, leaning harder against the post. She then stumbled and started to giggle.
Adora scowled. Catra never giggled. Something was definitely wrong.
“What were you doing?” Adora asked, her muscles sore as she stood. She wrapped her arm around Catra’s waist, and the other girl instantly leaned into her, as though by instinct. Adora sat them down, together, so they both sat on the bed’s edge.
Catra smiled serenely and fell into Adora’s lap. Adora, although surprised by this, certainly wasn’t opposed. She began to stroke Catra’s nest of hair as she continued her interrogation.
“Catra, seriously. What’s going on?”
Catra sighed and nuzzled closer. “You’re gonna be mad.”
“Maybe,” Adora said fairly.
Catra groaned and lifted her head, her heterochromatic eyes wide. “I got catnip,” she admitted.
“What?!” Adora exclaimed, pushing Catra off, perhaps a little too hard. “How—who—why—”
Catra rubbed her head and supported her own weight. “I was nervous, last night, about Shadow Weaver’s observation. So I talked to this guy in Unit B, and traded him yesterday’s rations for a baggie…”
“Catra!” Adora scolded. “You need that food to stay strong! And… shit, Catra, you missed the observation, anyway!”
“I know,” Catra said, stretching her arms out in front of her. Suddenly, she became very interested in her own hands. “The whole day’s been kind of a blur, to be honest.”
“How much did you take?”
“The whole baggie,” Catra said. “What, did you want some?”
“NO!” Adora shouted, perhaps a little too loud. Other cadets were beginning to file in for bedtime, also having showered after the simulation. Catra shushed Adora sarcastically, falling on her back onto the bed. Adora sighed and joined her, turning her head so she could face Catra.
“You shouldn’t have done that,” Adora said. “You could have told me you were nervous.”
“Pshhhh. I don’t care about anything.”
“Sure, Catra. Sure you don’t.”
Catra froze, as though she suddenly remembered something very important. Her eyes wide again, she brought her hands to Adora’s face, gently caressing one cheek.
“Oh, wait,” Catra said. “I care about you, Adora. Adorable Adora.”
Adora rolled her eyes, but yet again did not pull away. “You’re high.”
“High on luuuuurrrrrrrvvvvveee,” Catra purred, her face making its way to Adora’s neck, already planting small, intimate kisses there.
Adora blushed as the other girl pressed up against her. A sober Catra would never do this at any time but the dead of night, when the others were asleep—there was something so exciting about debauchery so early in the evening.
But, still. Something bothered her.
“Catra,” Adora said softly. Catra didn’t listen, instead using the tiniest bit of teeth to mark Adora’s flesh. Adora frown and moved away, only slightly. “Catra.”
The other girl looked up, disappointed, like a child denied a toy. “Was I doing a bad job?”
Adora groaned. “No, that’s not—trust me, that’s not it. You’re…”
“Yeah,” Catra said, a naughty grin on her face. “I like it, too.”
“Listen,” Adora said, checking around the room for the other cadets, who for the most part seemed wrapped up in their own affairs. “We’re eighteen now. You can’t just be skipping out of exercises. Any day now, one of us could be promoted to Force Captain.”
“You mean you,” Catra whined. “It’s gonna be you.”
Adora frowned. “You don’t mean that.”
Catra looked at her dryly, the most sober she’d been since she entered the barracks. “Uh, yeah. Yeah, I do.”
Adora groaned. “Well, you’re definitely not gonna get it if you skip observations.”
Catra frowned, crossed her arms over her chest, and turned away from Adora. “Hmph,” she said as Adora tapped her shoulder. “Now you’ve made me sad. I feel unwelcome in my own bed.”
“This literally isn’t your bed.”
“Right,” Catra said stiffly, surprisingly affected. “Guess I’ll just go to mine.”
And with that, she climbed up to her top mattress, rarely occupied, most likely covered in dust.
Adora frowned with confusion. Had she actually hurt Catra’s feelings? She did seem more emotional and vulnerable on the catnip…
Adora grunted with soreness as she hoisted herself onto the top bunk, where Catra laid on her said, facing away from her. Adora spooned the cat-girl and patiently waited for any response.
The twitching of her ear was a good sign. Adora pressed herself tight to Catra’s form and scratched just where she liked. After a few seconds, she was pleased to hear the involuntary purrs.
“Damn it, Adora,” Catra murmured. “You never come up here.”
“Well, to be fair,” Adora whispered in Catra’s ear, “neither do you.”
Catra smirked and relaxed. “I think I’m coming down. I feel all weak and weepy.”
“Shhh,” Adora said, pressing a chaste kiss to the crown of Catra’s head. “I’ve got you now.”
“Promise?”
“Yes.”
“Mm.”
“And Catra?” Adora said, pulling at the other girl’s body so she faced her. Catra blinked once, twice.
“Yeah?”
Adora kissed Catra deeply, biting her lip for a few seconds before letting go. “No more catnip, okay?”
“Y-yeah,” Catra shuddered. “For sure.”
“Because your breath fucking sucks.”
Catra laughed, a full belly-laugh, and took Adora’s face in her hands. “You’re such a—”
“ADORA!”
Adora turned her head and froze; standing below the top bunk, dark forms in her wake, was Shadow Weaver herself. She felt Catra disappear below the covers behind her, her petite form undetectable.
Adora sat up and tried her best to act normal. “Shadow Weaver,” she breathed. “Can I… can I help you?”
“Have you seen Catra?” the red-masked woman demanded. Adora shook her head furiously.
“No, ma’am, I have not.”
Adora’s face turned white as she felt Catra shaking furiously against her. She reached her hand beneath the covers and met with Catra’s. She squeezed, hard.
“She wasn’t in training today,” Shadow Weaver said.
“Maybe she’s sick,” Adora postulated.
“Then why are you in her bed?”
Adora felt Catra breathe against her, so vulnerable and afraid. She knew that Shadow Weaver had a special penchant for abusing the scrappy cat-girl, ever since they were kids. Catra rarely ever opened up about it, but when she did… well, it was horrifying. It made Adora want to change things in the Horde, make them better. Teach Shadow Weaver more caring ways. She certainly didn’t loathe the woman who had raised her from infancy, but she wouldn’t call her feelings for Shadow Weaver love, either.
Her feelings for Catra, however…
“Fine,” Adora said, “you got me.”
She hopped off the bunk, Catra’s bumpy form still undetectable in the mess of covers.
“What are you talking about?” Shadow Weaver demanded, as Adora stared at the ground in shame.
“I told Catra the wrong time for the observation,” Adora lied, “so she wouldn’t out-perform me.”
Shadow Weaver didn’t respond for a very long time. “And… why were you in her bed?”
Adora shrugged. “We’re having a prank war in the barracks. Lohni sprayed my bed with stinky sap, and laundry day isn’t until next week.”
Shadow Weaver nodded, although she certainly didn’t seem very convinced. “Very well,” she said. She began to leave, but then stopped and turned back around. “And Adora?”
“Yeah?” Adora said, her heart in her throat.
“You mustn’t worry about Catra out-performing you. She is nothing compared to you. She is nothing on her own.”
Adora winced but tried to not to show it. Shadow Weaver left as abruptly as she had arrived.
Gently, wordlessly, Adora climbed back into bed on the top bunk. She found Catra there, curled into a ball, still completely under the covers.
“Hey,” Adora said as she heard the unmistakable quiet sobs. “Shhh. I’m here. I’m here.”
“T-that’s the problem,” Catra said. “She’ll never… she’ll never see me…”
“Shhh,” Adora continued, snuggling closer. She held tighter than she ever had. “Shhhh, Catra. I see you. I see you. She doesn’t matter.”
“I j-just want it all to stop. T-that’s why I… got the catnip.”
“I know. I know.”
Catra finally revealed herself from the covers, her face stained with tears. She leaned into Adora again, voice quiet and intimate.
“I’ll never be what she wants me to be.”
Adora stroked her hair and pressed her to her chest. “You’re everything, Catra.”
“You’re j-just saying that to make me feel better.”
Adora was surprised to realize that tears were running down her own cheeks. “No, Catra. I love you. I love you, you stoned-off-your-ass cat.”
“I love you too,” Catra said, her voice barely a whisper. “Always have.”
“I… I know.”
They laid there for a few minutes, pressed as tightly as possible, until Catra finally looked up.
“Thanks for covering for me,” she said earnestly. “If she’d found out about this… I’d have been kicked out of the horde. Or worse.”
Adora winced, imagining the abuse. “I’ll never let her hurt you.”
“I actually believe you.”
Adora sighed and looked down. “Now, come on,” she said, already lowering herself to the bottom bunk. Catra sat up slowly, craving more of Adora’s touch. Her expression softened as she realized Adora’s intention.
She climbed down and met Adora on the bottom bunk, regarding the etched drawing of the pair for only a second. They settled into each other and pulled the covers over their entangled forms.
On any other night, Catra would have stayed up late after Adora, watching her serene form after she rested from a long day of kicking ass. Eventually she’d settle at the foot of the bed instead, closer to the door but farther from her love, just in case Shadow Weaver decided to make an appearance. Keeping watch. Standing guard.
But tonight, she was still coming down. So she snuggled closer to Adora, purred deeply, and fell into the deepest sleep she’d had in years.
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sapphicbeautyy · 6 years ago
Text
Part 2 of feysand fanfiction
Almost all characters belong to Sarah J Maas.
The fullness of his lips was all I could concentrate on when he smirked at me coupled his smooth tan skin unusual violet eyes all I could look at. That is until my sister Nesta discreetly kicked me and then not so discreetly glared at me and I realized I was still seated and worse everyone in my family had noticed, I blushed as I hastily stood up and started to walk to where my parents were standing. Thank the Mother they had blocked me from the fae visitors view or the whole party would have seen me shamelessly ogling their High lord. I tried to be graceful as I walked over to the High lord and his entourage but not used to so much material in the clothes I wore I tripped over the skirts and nearly fell on my face I would have if not for the strong arms that caught me moments before I could hit the carpet I looked up horrified at my clumsiness and found myself looking into star flecked violet eyes I stared at the High lord, my cheeks flushed from embarrassment and I found him looking straight into my eyes I stared at him, mesmerized, his eyes were full of amusement with a cruel edge everything about him had me captivated. My mother hissed at me and I quickly stepped out of the high lord's arms and thanked him for catching me.
"You're welcome ...." He said trailing of at the end it took me second to realize he was asking for my name "I'm Feyre" I said finally coming to my gods damned senses and bowing deeply. My mother glared at me and I knew I was going go get a earful about this later.I sighed quietly and gratefully let my sister Nesta step in front of me so I was half blocked from view while she was a complete bitch at times she did love me and many a times helped me and saved me from mother's lectures. The night court finally introduced themselves and I was surprised by their ranks the black haired female was the high lord's second, the blonde female his third one of the males who looked like he’d been made of wind and earth and flame and all these civilized trappings were little more than an inconvenience was the high lord's commander and the other male the more classically handsome male to whom it looked like the shadows were speaking to was his spymaster and shadowsinger. I was fascinated by them and wondering why they were here I was so lost in thought I didn't realize my mother was calling my name until Nesta hissed at me I quickly snapped out of my reverie and faced her
"Y-yes mother?" I stuttered out
She glared at me before saying to the visitors "Excuse my daughter she doesn't always act like this, I think she's unwell, now that I think about it dear you look a little pale peraps you should go to your room"
"I'm sure fresh air will do her a world of good" the high lord said "why don't we go for a walk you could show me the grounds" his tone made it obvious he wasn't asking. Before I could answer my mother spoke up "Of course go on Feyre. Hazelle will show your court to the the rooms" she said to the high lord with a beaming smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. I made my way to the high lord and smiled politely he offered me his arm and the contact send currents zing down my arms. As we left the parlor I sent a silent prayer to the Mother to help me keep my wits about and not make a complete fool of myself.
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janeofcakes · 6 years ago
Text
Chapter 108
** Watch out for violence and non-con touching. **
(John’s eyes open slowly, his lids like lead and vision blurry. He instinctively blinks a few times, waiting to come out of the haze of sedation. As things begin to clear, John glances around the room. He’s in a flat. The bed he’s laying on is the only thing in the room. Strangely, there seems to be an IV stand next to him with a bag dripping away steadily.)
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(John’s head snaps around to his left shoulder. All of the events at the surgery slamming to the forefront of his mind. His shoulder is bandaged well, better than was managed at the surgery, and it is in a sling. His fingers are swollen and do not move much when he tries. His eyes are back on his shoulder. The damage from the shot is on par with the one that invalided him from the army. He could tell as soon as it hit him. Suddenly Sarah’s scream echoes through his mind. Shit, Sarah! 
Intent on escape, John looks down his body to his right wrist and his ankles. As expected, he is tied to the bed. He twists his limbs to test the ropes. They are tight, but have some give. He can loosen them enough to slip his hand out, if he has the time. However, there is absolutely no way he has that kind of time. He starts struggling against his bonds anyway. He has to get out of here and to a hospital, and figure out where Sarah is.
Without warning, the door on the opposite wall swings open and James Moriarty slithers in confidently. John stills when he sees him and scowls. Jim, on the other hand, smiles with a vicious sort of affection and comes to stand at the side of the bed.)
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JM: Hello again, love. How are you feeling? Good?
(John spears him with fierce blue eyes.)
J: Stop. Calling me that.
JM: What else would I call you? I’ve missed you. (pausing to tilt his head) Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
(He reaches for John, who jerks to escape his touch, but the ropes hold him fast. The sudden jolt of it rattles his shoulder and arm, sending a series of sharp pains throbbing throughout his upper body. John squeezes his eyes shut against the agony while Jim clucks over him.)
JM: Careful, love. Sudden movements will only make it worse.
(John takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself. It hurts to breathe. Jim’s hand is warm on his own. John’s gut clenches in protest. He ignores it, swallows hard, and opens his eyes. He turns his head to look at Jim and gives him a tight smile.)
J: You have to take me to a hospital. You don’t have a choice.
JM: (coyly) Oh, don’t I?
J: I’ll die without surgery.
(Jim slides his black eyes to the ceiling and touches a finger to his own lips. He makes a humming noise and feigns taking John’s words into consideration.)
JM: Do I? Mmm. (He meets John’s gaze with a taunting grin.) No. No, I don’t. You’ve been here for hours, love. The surgery has already been done. Not that I expected this detour, but Seb likes to shoot people.
J: What?!
(John’s face becomes a mask of fury and he struggles again, in spite of the pain. He strains against the ropes and lifts his head to glower at his captor.)
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J: What the fuck did you do to me?!
JM: I didn’t do it myself. Oh, no, no, no. (shaking his head) It was much too complicated.
J: (in a dangerous whisper) Who.
JM: Don’t worry, love. He’s a doctor. A surgeon. The best. (John stares daggers through him, but Jim only shrugs.) He owed me a favor.
(He leans down close to breathe into John’s mouth. John wants to recoil, but won’t allow himself. Jim smiles and speaks quietly, looking lustfully into John’s eyes.)
JM: I made sure you were in very good hands…only the best for what’s mine.
(He licks a stripe from John’s jawline to his ear and then nibbles the lobe. John turns his face as far away from Jim as he can. Jim responds with a giggle and  licks and then bites just enough to sting. John’s face remains stony as Jim pulls back.)
JM: Don’t look so angry. You wouldn’t have come if I’d asked you. (He pauses.) I was very cross with Seb for shooting you.
J: Let me go.
JM: You don’t seem to get the point.
J: (shouting) Let me go, you fucking psychopath!!
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(Jim swings at John in a flash of movement and crashes his fist into the doctor’s temple, breaking the skin. He grabs John’s head with both hands, smearing blood onto John’s cheek. Jim holds his head tight and buries his tongue in John’s mouth, licking greedily and biting at his lips. When he pulls back again, he hovers close to John’s face. There is a smear of John’s blood on Jim’s cheek.)
JM: (whispering) You. Are. Mine. John Watson. Fucking. Mine. Just shut your fucking mouth (screaming suddenly) AND ACCEPT IT!!
(John’s eyes are wide and his stomach wretches. He swallows down the looming panic as he hears slow, heavy footsteps stomp in behind Jim.)
Mor: You all right?
(A horrifying grin spreads across Jim’s face and he straightens up.)
JM: Come over here, Seb. I want you to meet someone.
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(A tall blonde with a diagonal scar marring one side of his face, just missing his right eye, steps out of the shadows and stands on the left side of the bed. He looks down at John with an indifferent expression that still manages to look like a glare. He carries a high-powered rifle in his hands.
Jim gestures gleefully from one man to the other.)
JM: Dr. John Watson. Sebastian Moran. We’ve known each other a long time, Seb and I. He’s been keeping an eye on you and our tall detective for me.
J: He was there. He pulled you from the water when we fell.
JM: Very good, John. I’ve always said you were smarter than Sherlock gives you credit. (shrugging and continuing in a playful tone) Not as smart as me. Or Sherlock. But that would be impossible for almost anyone.
J: (looking at Moran) You’re the gun that was always on Sherlock. (turning to Jim) Every time you threatened me on the island.
JM: Right again, John. (sucking in air between his teeth and murmuring) God, I want you right now.
(John’s eyes travel from Jim’s face to Moran’s and back. A fresh feeling of uneasiness spreads through his body. Buying time with Jim is simple enough. He tends to be a bit verbose with John and that can be used against him, but the added component of his gunman has John very unsettled. The man just stares with dead eyes and a silent steadiness.)
JM: As much as I’d love to take you right now… (He suddenly pounces on John and sucks hard enough to leave a mark on John’s neck. His teeth break the delicate skin when he bites. John winces and glares at Jim when he stops. He’s breathing fast, his eyes dilated.) We have some things to discuss, John.
(Jim licks the newly made marks, licks away the drops of blood, and then lets his hand drift to the ring on John’s left hand.)
JM: What’s this, love?
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(John’s blue eyes are dark with hate as he glares at the man. He would have hidden the ring from Jim if he could. John knows full well it will only give Jim more reason to target Sherlock.
Jim’s eyes flare with barely contained fury. He takes John’s hand in his own and brushes his shaking fingers over the ring gently. His gaze locks onto John, his body beginning to tremble with maddening outrage. The man is like a coiled spring waiting to pop and, looking into those dangerous black eyes, John vows to do everything in his power to protect Sherlock from this lunatic’s wrath.)
JM: (trying to keep his voice even) Are you married, John?
(John doesn’t say a word, maintaining a death glare. Jim bares his teeth in a terrifying smile.)
JM: I’ll only ask you once, John.
(A moment’s silence and Moran is suddenly next to John’s head, pressing the barrel of his gun into John’s injured shoulder. John’s scream rips through the air, the spike of pain whiting out his vision for a few seconds. He gasps desperately, trying not to vomit. Moran presses harder.)
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Mor: You speak when you’re spoken to.
(John chokes back the agony threatening to burst from his throat while Moran pushes harder.)
J: NO! I’m not married!
JM: I’m glad to hear that, love.
(Jim smiles pleasantly, but Moran does not let up. John squirms under the pressure.)
JM: Saves me the trouble of killing him before we leave.
J: (raspy) Leave?
JM: Yes, of course. You didn’t think we were going to stay right here in London, did you? I already tried that once.
J: (with a pained smile) I had hoped.
JM: (laughing) Oh, god, I’ve missed you. You know, I would’ve taken this off already if your hand wasn’t so swollen. I have plans for it. Sherlock will never take what is mine again.
J: (growling) I don’t belong to you.
(Moran presses down again and John cries out. His shoulder burns with a fiery pain he has not felt since it exploded in Afghanistan. His eyes snap shut. The barrel must be half way through his shoulder by now and John can feel reality slipping from his grasp as a result. He fights to stay conscious, opening his eyes to see Moran staring blankly at Jim.)
Mor: We could just cut it off.
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JM: Jesus, Seb, you are ruthless. (turning to John and cupping his cheek) Sorry to disappoint, but I want my man whole.
Mor: (sighing) What the fuck is so special about this one?
JM: Oh, Seb, can’t you tell? He has everything I want. Looks, muscles, humor, and a soul.
(Moran slides his eyes to John’s face and watches him indifferently. He lifts his gun from where it digs deeply into John’s shoulder and pauses, then thrusts it back in with all the force of his weight.
John hears a scream and blacks out, but the pain pulls him awake within a few seconds. He stares at the ceiling just trying to breathe. Everything is surreal, spinning. Jim is yelling. The gun barrel is gone. John turns his head slowly toward Jim, feeling every movement in his shoulder now and wondering if what he sees is real or if he has passed out.)
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JM: Damn it, Seb! I told you to knock him out. I told you he was coming with us. So, you shoot him. (He pauses and glares as if he’s debating shooting Moran himself this instant. Moran stands two steps back from John’s bed, rifle in both hands, looking battle-ready.) God, you are a loose cannon these days.
(Moran keeps a steady gaze on Jim and shrugs. Jim shifts his weight to one foot and rests a hand on his hip, the other pinches the bridge of his nose.)
JM: Just go. Go make sure everything is ready. We’re leaving in 30 minutes.
(The tall man nods sternly and smirks at John on his way out. John watches him go and then settles on Jim’s suited frame. He nearly flinches when Jim reaches over his body to have a look at his shoulder.)
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JM: (biting his lip) Oh, dear. Looks like it’s bleeding again, but it won’t keep us from our travel plans.
J: (in a pained voice) And just where are we going?
(Jim smiles at John in an oddly disturbing way. His face speaks of an evil so dark and deadly, yet he wears a fond expression. John shivers. He suddenly feels laid bare, exposed with no shelter.
Jim strokes his fingertips up John’s chest and John blinks, off-balance. He hadn’t noticed his shirt was missing until that moment. As Jim crawls onto the bed with him, John takes stock and comes to find that pants are all he is wearing. He doesn’t know whether to be relieved that there is something else besides a sheet between himself and Jim, or to be nervous that those two pieces of thin cloth are the only things between them. He glares at Jim with a growing and, hopefully, hidden unease.
Now straddling John’s hips, Jim runs his hands slowly up and down the doctor’s muscled chest. His palm is especially gentle as it skims over the bandages covering his shoulder. He shifts his hips forward languorously, his hardening cock rubbing against John’s flaccid one. Jim tilts his head back and moans, almost chuckles in pleasure. His pupils are blown wide when his gaze settles on John’s face again.)
JM: I think I should tell you… (rocking his hips slowly) the doctor said you should be careful. You’ll lose your arm with another injury like this. Means you’ll have to cooperate with me. To. The. Letter.
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(He bends forward, his hot mouth finding the nipple not hidden under a bandage. His tongue is soft and smooth, but its movements are rough and possessive.
John’s body tenses, even as his traitorous nipple stiffens into a hard nub. His limbs strain against the ropes that hold him. If he could just get free. If he could only hit Jim. God, how he wants to hit him.)
J: (jaw clenched) Get off of me, you sick fuck.
JM: (pulling back, their faces close) I’m going to take you far away from here and we’re going to be married.
(John laughs cruelly, even though it hurts terribly, and stares at Jim with blazing eyes.)
J: That’s rich. That really is. You don’t give a shit about me. You just want to take me away from Sherlock. Why the fuck would you tie yourself to me when it’s so much easier to just keep me around and fuck me whenever you feel like it? Why complicate it?
(Jim looks at him strangely and time seems to stop. It almost looks like disbelief…or confusion. John swallows hard and furrows his brow, his eyes widening. James Moriarty looks hurt. John just hurt fucking Jim Moriarty’s feelings.
Jim licks his lips and erases the expression as quickly as it came.)
JM: I thought I made that clear. I want you, love. And I always get what I want. (He bucks his hips into John. John feels sick.) I think you want it too. You want it so badly, but you hide it. Hide behind Sherlock. He can never give you what I can. He’ll never be good enough. Not for you. (His cock rubs mercilessly against John.) Come with me, John. Come for me.
(John sees his opportunity and takes it. With their faces so close together and Jim’s eyes closed in concentration, John pulls his head back as best he can and snaps it at Jim with a grunt.)
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(Jim rears upward and back, stunned by the blow. With his arms flailing at his sides, his center of gravity is compromised and he nearly topples off of John to the floor, but catches himself and sits steadily on John’s hips.
Meanwhile, John struggles with all his strength and ignores the rising pain vibrating through his body. This is his only chance to get away, so far as he can see. God knows where Jim wants to take him. He probably won’t even know himself once he gets there and has no idea how Sherlock would ever find him. He can’t spend his life married to Jim Moriarty. He can’t.
John glances at Jim and knows he doesn’t have much time. He glances down at his right hand and twists his wrist as hard and fast as he can. The ropes burn marks into his skin, but he can feel them loosening. Suddenly, Jim punches him square in the nose, hard enough in his fury that John momentarily sees stars.)
JM: YOU BITCH!
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(And his hands are around John’s throat, squeezing. John’s mouth opens, but no words will come. He pulls at his hand and thrashes his body from side to side as best he can beneath Jim. Pain radiates through his small frame, nearly unbearably, making it hard to focus.
Jim is squeezing with all his might, and shaking John so much that his head and shoulders bounce on the bed. John starts mouthing no at some point without realizing it. Darkness begins to cloud the outside of his vision. He looks up at Jim. He doesn’t want it to be so, but he knows his eyes are pleading with Jim to stop. And Jim’s eyes are black. He sees nothing, but red. And he’s shouting. Cursing John’s name and making promises. Dirty, filthy promises of what he will do to John when they are safely out of London. John suddenly questions his own will to live. He stops struggling. He lets his eyes close. The darkness threatening to take him. Why? Why should he try to live when escape is virtually impossible and his life will be the hell that is Jim Moriarty?
I will find you, John. I promise you.
John’s eyes snap open. Sherlock. Even the smallest possibility of a life with Sherlock Holmes is worth fighting for.
John renews the struggle with ferocious energy, all the while the darkness creeps further into his vision. He doesn’t have much time left. He meets Jim’s eyes, can see him still shouting, but cannot hear him. His eyes slip closed, but he forces them back open. No. No!
Please, god, let me live. Please…please.
John mouths the word along with his mind as air floods into his lungs. Jim’s hands loosen further and come to rest on John’s chest. John’s eyes flutter open.)
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JM: God damn it. You are mine, John. You are mine. (his tenuous grip on self-control showing) I don’t want to hurt you.
J: (coughing and raspy) You could’ve fooled me.
JM: You push my buttons, John Watson. You push them so easily and you do it on purpose. You’re not afraid. (He pauses and looks at John in wonder.) You’re not afraid of anything. I’ve never met a man like you.
J: (hesitantly) Thank you?
JM: Oh, it’s a compliment. Most definitely.
(They study one another for a moment. Jim slowly, gently smooths his fingers through John’s soft, blonde hair. He licks his lips and tilts his head toward John.)
JM: I…think I love you. John.
(John stares in shock. Jim wipes the blood from John’s nose and upper lip carefully. He leans down and kisses John chastely, softly. He pauses with their lips nearly touching and breathes in John’s scent, delicious and warming. He pulls back to share a look John’s certainly never seen on his face before. Jim smiles and whispers decisively.)
JM: I’m going to fuck your mouth.
J: What?! No!
(White, hot panic fills John’s brain. He twists under Jim’s legs as Jim throws his jacket to the floor. He begins working in his belt.)
J: No! No, no, no! Get the fuck off me!
JM: What is it, love? Hasn’t Sherlock done it yet? It’s wonderful and your first time will be so special for us.
J: NO!
(John jerks his body and lifts his head, furiously, desperately. Fear and anger pulsing through his veins, he strains against Jim’s legs that pin him to the bed.)
J: NO! NO! STOP!
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(Jim continues smiling and opening his flies. His licks his lips lasciviously and it makes John wretch. John looks around quickly for something, anything that will help him. He is nearly hyperventilating. He looks back at Jim in true horror. He cannot stop him. There’s nothing he can do to stop him.)
JM: (purring) Relax, love. Just lay back and relax. I’ll make it perfect for you.
OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD SHERLOCK!
J: SHERLOCK!!!
(There’s a sudden crack in the air and the smell of gun powder.
Everything stops.
John looks up at Jim in the silent, heavy air. His eyes look blank, but they meet John’s panic-stricken stare and blink one last time. Blood trickles from his mouth and lands on John’s chest in great, fat drips. Jim begins to tumble forward and lands on John’s body with a weighty thud that knocks the wind out of the doctor.)
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imaginetonyandbucky · 7 years ago
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Imagine a soulmate AU where Tony's always secretly wanted a soul-mate but never thought he deserved one, but then he meets Bucky, and Bucky just dotes on him and calls him a lot of Russian pet names and compliments him a lot. Also it would be great if Bucky was really impressed by the Iron Man armor, and if Tony makes Bucky a new arm.
A/N: So, I could have probably made this one post, but honestly, cliffhangers are great. *rubs hands together deviously* Tony is, depending on your point of view, kind of an ass, but he has lots of issues to work through. (Cool motive, still an asshole?)
Fairytales 
Part 1 of 2
“This is Tony,” Steve was saying, chivvying his ex-brainwashed occasionally frozen best friend from the forties towards him. “He’s our resident genius, and owns the tower.”
“Tony,” Bucky said quietly. “It's nice to meet you.”
Tony’s arm itched, but he ignored it. He had probably splashed some caustic substance on it. He could clean it after this little meet and greet. He did, despite all evidence to the contrary, have some manners.
Besides, it was hardly the first time he had unidentified, dangerous substances on his person.
“Welcome to the castle!” Tony exclaimed, spreading his arms in welcome.
He watched Bucky stiffen, and clasp his right forearm.
His right forearm.
No, it couldn't possibly be. He covered his right forearm, realized what that itch had been.
When Bucky opened his mouth, Tony hurried on. “I'm sure you have plenty more people to meet, things to do. I've got a- thing-” he fumbled for words, gesturing half-heartedly over his shoulder at the elevator. “Very important thing. Gotta run.”
As the elevator door shut, he could see Bucky’s sheet-white face, and hear Steve telling Bucky that “Tony isn't normally that scatter-brained but he probably hasn't slept in a while.”
He slumped against the wall of the elevator, trying to calm his racing heart. He pushed up his sleeve, and undid the cuff that covered his words. Sure enough, they were edged in silver. Bucky was his soulmate.
The scientist in him was fascinated - Bucky should have lived and been nearly dead before he was even born, and yet, he was his soulmate.
But mostly he was just horrified. No one deserved to have Tony Stark inflicted on them.
When he was younger, and had first gotten his words, he had been so excited. All kids were. Jarvis - the real Jarvis - had told him wonderful stories about meeting his soulmate, Ana. And Aunt Peggy told him stories about her soulmate, Angie. He had been fascinated. It all seemed like a fairytale.
But Howard had happened. He had gotten older, and older, and remained alone.He had heard his words hundreds of times, and none of them were his soulmate. And after Afghanistan? Well.
No one should be stuck with him.
It didn’t seem like a fairytale anymore, more like a horror story where he was the monster.
Even though that little kid still dreamed about finding his soulmate, one day.
(Watch out for the break!)
--
He took the coward's way out, and hid in his workshop. Enlisting JARVIS, he snuck upstairs to eat and caffeinate when Bucky was asleep or out of the tower. He slept on the couch in the corner of the workshop.
He was lucky to get thirty-six hours before Natasha was knocking at the door.
“Yeah?” He said absently, not even paying attention to the fact that someone was at the door.
“What are you doing?”
Startled, he looked accusingly at one of JARVIS’ cameras.
“You stated that Mr. Barnes was not allowed in, not that Ms. Romanov wasn’t allowed to knock,” JARVIS said smugly.
“I'm uploading you to the nearest McDonald’s!” Tony shook his finger at JARVIS.
“My servers are shaking in their housings, Sir,” JARVIS replied drily.
Rolling his eyes, Tony turned to Natasha. “I'm fixing a fuck-up that R&D wanted to slide by me,” he said, trying to avoid the very obvious.
Natasha simply raised one eyebrow, not saying anything.
“Well I am!” He defended, lifting the guts of a phone up as if to prove it.
Crossing the room, she sat next to him and laid her hand on top of his. “He thinks you don't want him because he was the Winter Soldier. That he’s too broken and was a weapon for too long to ever be wanted by anyone.”
Tony felt guilt settle into his stomach, an uncomfortable weight. “It's not him.”
“It's you?” She completed the saying, a wry smile on her face.
He looked away from her. “I don't care about any of that. You were the one who said that you're trying to wipe out the red in your ledger. Well, I've got oceans of red.”
“Tony.”
He pulled away from her, agitated. “Soulmates aren't for people like me, Nat.”
“Soulmates are for everyone,” she said softly.
Tony smiled bitterly. “That's a fairytale.”
--
He assumed that Natasha reported back to Bucky, but he never appeared in the workshop. Pushing the conversation and the guilt out of his mind, he focused on various projects.
Tony was honestly surprised when Bruce showed up next to plead the case.
“Did you know that the Other Guy and I have two different soulmates?” Bruce asked idly, as he wrote out a complicated formula on the whiteboard Tony kept in there just for him.
Tony shifted part of his attention to that conversation while continuing to work on the problem.
“No.”
“The Other Guy, he hasn't met his soulmate. He's too busy smashing things, thankfully. Me, though?” Bruce paused to do a particularly complicated calculation. “I met her a long time ago.”
Focusing more of his attention on the conversation, Tony felt like this was not going to be a happy story. “Who is it?”
“Betty Ross.” Bruce’s tone was wistful, sad, and a little bit angry. At himself, Tony guessed.
“Ross? That Ross?”
Bruce nodded, not elaborating. Then: “Tony-”
Tony cut him off. “The Other Guy is not a monster, but I-”
“Tony!” Bruce rarely raised his voice, and never snapped at anyone. To have him do both was startling.
Raising his hands in concession, he waited for Bruce to continue.
Bruce looked deeply sad. “Just because we think ourselves monsters doesn't mean we don't deserve love.”
“Then where’s your Betty Ross?”
If anything, Bruce looked sadder. “That was a lesson I learned after.”
After what, Bruce didn't say, but he also didn't push anymore, which Tony appreciated. After they finished their calculations and Bruce went up for dinner, Tony sat. Bruce’s words echoed in his head. He knew the Other Guy wasn't a monster.
Just because we think ourselves monsters doesn't mean we don't deserve love.
--
He didn't expect Clint, either.
Well, he had, since he had told the archer to come down to collect some arrow prototypes, but what he didn't expect what for Clint to set two shot glasses on the table between them.
“I don't drink anymore,” Tony said warily, eyeing the shot glasses like they would jump at him and bite.
Clint rolled his eyes, and set a jug of juice out. “I know.”
Tony frowned. “We can drink juice out of glasses?”
“Drinking out of shot glasses is one, cooler, two, funner, and three,” he poured two shots of apple juice. “Makes your mind think you're drinking, loosens you up a little.”
Skeptical, Tony picked up one of the shot glasses. “Uh-huh.”
Clint shrugged. “I mostly thought it would look cool.”
Tony rolled his eyes and downed his shot. Oddly, it did make him feel like he was taking a shot of alcohol, and his body relaxed a little. Placebo effect, hard at work.
“Are you here to lecture me too?” He asked, setting the glass back down.
“Nope,” Clint said cheerfully, refilling both shots. “I just really like apple juice.”
“Katniss, you can drink apple juice upstairs.”
“Out of a shot glass?”
“Like that's the weirdest thing you've done,” Tony shot back.
“Point.” Clint lazily saluted Tony with the shot and drank again. “I'm not here to lecture, but I am here to listen.”
Tony groaned. “First Nat, then Bruce, now you?”
Clint raised his hands. “Look. I've got a happy little family with kids and a dog and it was pretty much all just like the movies and I don't personally know shit about this soulmate angst you've got going on, but I've been told I make a good listener, okay? So if you wanna talk, I'm here. If you just wanna shoot apple juice, that's fine too.”
Giving Clint a flinty glare, Tony drank down another shot of apple juice. And another.
Then he broke. “I'm just-- old. And I have a piece of metal shoved into my chest that means I can't take a full breath half the time. I'm baseline human, I've slept with a ton of people, to the point where the nicest thing people call me is a slut, and I've killed a ton of people. Millions.”
Clint waited patiently for the flood of words to end. It sounded like he was trying very hard to keep his tone even. “You’re older than us, yes, but you’re not old, Tony. I don't know anything about having metal in my body, but I know someone who does. You saved millions of people, and do so routinely. And Tony?” Now he grinned. “Haven't you heard? Calling people sluts is reinforcing the patriarchy and its puritanical double-standards.”
Tony rolled his eyes, but felt a little lighter. Clint had no reason to lie to him. Hearing that said so bluntly filled a hole that had been left by years of issues. “Only you, Robin Hood.”
“Hey, I am hip with the times!”
“Just drink your juice.”
--
He really should have been expecting Steve. It was logical. Everyone else had tried, and Steve was Bucky’s best friend.
But he was honestly surprised when JARVIS said that Steve was at the door.
He hesitated. This could go either kind of badly, or very badly. He was leaning towards the latter. He shoved away from table he was working at, deciding to be mature and to face the music. “Let him in, J.”
The door opened.
“Tony, are you okay?”
Surprised, Tony looked at Steve. “Yes.” He lied slowly, not sure where this conversation was going.
Steve gave him a half smile. “You're lying, Shellhead. You've got a tell.”
Insulted, Tony puffed up. “I do not!”
Steve just winked. “Sure you do. Now let's try this again. Are you okay?”
Tony just looked at Steve. He had expected yelling. Orders to come out and see Bucky. Not whatever this was.
“Maybe.”
Steve seemed to accept this. “For someone who’s been living in their workshop for five days straight, you don't look like death warmed over,” he finally said.
“I do know how to shower,” Tony said drily. “I learned how to do that when I was three.”
Steve didn't say anything for a long while. The silence was making Tony fidgety. Finally, right before Tony word-vomited, Steve spoke again.
“Are you going to come out of here eventually?”
No pressure. No questions about him and Bucky. No anything but that simple question.
“Yes.”
“Soon?”
“Soon,” Tony agreed.
“Okay.” Steve started to leave but Tony couldn’t hold it in anymore.
“He knows it’s not about him, right?”
Steve looked steadily back at him. “People have told him that, but it’s hard for him to believe. You probably know how that is.”
Tony winced. He did know how that was. “Soon,” he promised again. “I’m sorry for being an ass,” he added. “I’m trying to... not.”
Steve nodded, and left.
--
He had expected Rhodey. He had expected Pepper. He expected JARVIS, in that roundabout sneaky way of his. He weathered their conversations, their hugs, Rhodey getting drunk and telling him how much he loved him, no homo. (His honeybear was tragically straight.) He kissed Pepper on the cheek and listened to her tell him that he was worth it. That their break up wasn't his fault. He didn't mute JARVIS, and occasionally ate when prodded. He believed with them, or rather, he was working on believing them, and told them that. He cuddled up with his platypus, and watched mindless action movies when the conversation got too emotional for sober Rhodey.
What he sincerely didn't expect was Bucky.
See you tomorrow~Marie
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