#it’s actually hilarious a little bit if it wasn’t so sad

[bisexualrapline]

sometimes i’m convinced y’all seek out the most deranged/unhinged army accounts ever just to find something to be mad at all armys about

[mercuriians]

I feel like a fic about Atsumu, Oikawa, and Bokuto finding their s/o reading fanfic about them would be hilarious

(You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to <3)

Have a lovely day and thank you if you end up doing this request <33333

a fantasy world

content info — gender neutral! reader, fluffy hq!! drabbles with some crack & hurt/comfort (sounds weird but bear w it, all separate). a teeny tiny bit suggestive in atsumu's part cuz he's a little shit.

word count — 1.9k words.

author’s note — holy HELL this is so late 😭 anon i hope ur still here, i made this pretty long so that's my way of apologizing. im also praying that atsumu is in character because this is only the second time ive written him. anyway, tysm for requesting!! hope u all like this <3

MIYA ATSUMU

your eyes are obstinately glued to your phone, wholly transfixed by the words that were typed across the screen. not a single soul knew about your little hobby and quite frankly, it was likely better that they remained oblivious. you wouldn’t know how to react if anyone found out, but really, there was one particular person who absolutely had to stay unaware.

as it turns out, they were also the very subject of the story you’re currently reading—of course, none other than your sweet, beloved boyfriend, atsumu. not that the term ‘sweet’ was an especially fitting term for him. ooh, that was a sick burn.

now, obviously you loved the boy. atsumu was bold, intelligent, thoughtful, hardworking, and affectionate to the point where osamu and the rest of his team often complained about how shameless he was in front of them. his spirit burned bright with fiery ambition, glimmering red and orange and yellow, and he introduced a kind of light into your life that you had never quite experienced before. at first you were a little wary at first, a little blinded by how much he shone, but because you were just as stubborn as he was, you soon grew used to it.

if anything, you came to learn that atsumu was undoubtedly one of the most inspirational people out there. motivating his peers was like second-nature to him, and even if he didn’t consciously put in the effort to inspire them, he still ended up doing so anyway. his love for volleyball was blatant in its authenticity, in its obsession. so when coupled with his charisma, and, yes, his boyishly good looks, atsumu developed a serious kind of gravitational pull. it was no wonder so many people were drawn in—yourself included.

but, inevitably, something had to be sacrificed. your boyfriend’s devotion to the game often meant that you two didn’t get to spend much time together. if atsumu wasn’t practicing at the gym, then he was either thinking about doing it, on his way to doing it, or—this happens only under the direst of circumstances—recovering from doing it. he was, in every sense of the word, a workaholic.

you were fine with it for the most part, mostly because you had a busy schedule to deal with yourself. if you weren’t doing homework or studying for an upcoming exam for the sake of staying on top of your classes, then you were either fulfilling your duties as a student council member, playing your respective sport, or taking care of things at home.

regardless, there were still times when you wished atsumu was with you. it didn’t matter if he was spewing volleyball jargon, or forcing you to pepper with him, or anything like that. you just wanted to spend time with him, to actually see him and his stupid face and his stupid smile that you want to kiss so badly.

maybe that’s why you’re so zeroed in on the fanfiction you’re reading—to try and make up for what you’ve been deprived of for days on end. a very palpable twinge of sadness tugs at your heart. you push the unwanted sentiment to the depths of your mind, trying to focus on reading the story again.

god, what sentence were you even on? and why was the door suddenly opening—

“hey baby, did ya miss me?”

your soul leaves your body.

before you even have time to think, a shrill scream rips from your throat as you scramble to hide your phone underneath the covers. atsumu's jaw drops, completely and utterly befuddled by your behavior. after a moment he raises his hands in mock surrender. "jeez, darlin', it's just me. your boyfriend, remember?" atsumu says, brow raised. there's a mixture of emotions written across his face—slight concern, palpable amusement, even some suspicion. "what are ya hidin' there on your phone, anyway?"

finally, you seem to find your voice. "n-nothing important," you mumble, clearly and very intentionally avoiding the intensity of atsumu's hawk-like gaze. "i didn't even know you'd be visiting today.. thought you would be busy with practice again."

maybe it's because your boyfriend knows you so well by now, but he catches the hint of bitterness in your tone. his face softens, and he takes one, two, three steps toward you until he's taking up the space on your left. "coach called in sick, so mister perfect decided to just cancel practice for today," atsumu shrugs. you're still somewhat upset, but you can't help but smile at the setter's nickname for his captain—kita shinsuke, the closest embodiment of perfection that anyone's ever seen.

"i'm pretty sure i texted ya that i would be dropping by," your boyfriend adds, glancing over at you. cautiously, you pull out your phone again and open up the messages app. lo and behold, he did in fact text you, but you were too busy with your fanfiction to notice.

your face burns with the weight of your embarrassment.

a small chuckle escapes from atsumu's mouth. "wow, i haven't even done anything and you're already blushin' for me," he teases. you hit his chest halfheartedly, muttering about how mean he's being. you fail to notice the calculating glint in his eyes. you also fail to notice his hand wandering.

a second later, atsumu grins smugly, your phone held securely in his grip.

"what the hell, 'sumu?!" you screech, trying to retrieve the object in vain. "how did you even—"

"i'm good with my hands," he winks, and you don't even have time to scold him for the clear innuendo because he's typing in the password to your phone. all you can do is accept your fate as atsumu discovers the story you were reading.

as expected, he laughs. loudly. it's almost like the laugh he lets out whenever he wins a bet against osamu. you turn away, shame and humiliation gnawing at your chest. there's nothing more you want than to be swallowed by the floor beneath you.

however, when atsumu's laughter dies down a few moments later, you feel him wrapping an arm around your shoulder. "baby," he begins, voice still a little breathless from all his cackling, "why are ya reading this when ya got the real thing right here?"

you look up at him, a confusing mess of emotions swirling within your stomach. "because we don't seem to spend much time together anymore," you admit, lowering your eyes to the ground. "laugh all you want, but these stories are there for me whenever i need them. you probably think it's stupid, or pathetic, or whatever, but.. i miss you, 'sumu."

you close your eyes, preparing to hear another round of thunderous laughter. it never comes.

"open yer eyes for me, babe," atsumu's voice is unexpectedly soft, tender. hesitantly, you do, and your gaze meets his. your boyfriend reaches out, resting a calloused hand against your cheek. his touch is so familiar, so comforting, that you can't do anything else but lean in and welcome it. "i didn't know that ya were feelin' this way, and i'll admit that it's my fault for not noticing. but hey, you wanna know somethin'?"

"what is it?" you whisper.

"i miss ya too," your boyfriend confesses. he leans in, placing a soft kiss against your lips. "and tomorrow, i'm taking ya out on a date."

OIKAWA TOORU

"oh my god, this is so cute," you sigh dreamily, swinging your feet in satisfaction as you indulge yourself. it was fanfiction, for crying out loud—can you really be blamed? this particular story practically reeked of fluff. you had just received flowers from the male lead, with you two having confessed just a few days ago. now you were on the first date, entering the doorway to a beautiful relationship that made every reader jealous.

the fact that the male lead—the infamous setter of aoba johsai, fanboy of iwaizumi hajime, hater of ushijima wakatoshi—also happened to be your boyfriend was just a minor detail.

you continued reading, the outside world completely irrelevant as you immersed yourself in the story. soon another squeal leaves your lips as oikawa, the male lead, bends down to kiss your hand. he says something swoonworthy, causing you to giggle like a madman. "that's it, i'm marrying you," you say, as if he can hear you through the story.

"marrying who?"

you let out a defeated sigh as your boyfriend pops his head into your room. there's a pout on oikawa's face, his mocha eyes filled with mock betrayal. still there's a part of you that knows he actually is a little bit jealous; he just doesn't know that technically, he's jealous of himself. "who are you marrying, babe?" he asks you somewhat accusingly. "i think it's a bit too early for—"

"shut up please," you groan, a bit sad that your reading session got interrupted. "i'm reading this fanfiction of you, and in the story, you're actually nice to me."

you immediately hear an indignant gasp from your boyfriend. he puts a hand to his chest, his pout now even more prominent. "excuse me, i am nice to you," oikawa scoffs as he walks over, squinting at the story you're reading. "i'm way better than him!"

"you are him," you deadpan.

"exactly! why are you reading that when i'm right here? i'm hurt," oikawa says in disapproval, shaking his head at you. "now move over."

you blink—once, twice. "wait, what?"

"i wanna read too," oikawa says as if it's the most obvious thing in the world, "so i can list all the things they got wrong about me."

BOKUTO KOUTAROU

maybe reading fanfiction about your boyfriend wasn't the best idea. it's not that the story wasn't great because it really was—the characterization was on-point, the writing style was smooth and elegant, and the plot was creative. it's more about your boyfriend himself. particularly the way that he reacted when he found out.

"am i not good enough?" bokuto asked you quietly as he stared up at you. his golden eyes were absolutely despondent, his shoulders were slouched, and even his owlish hair looked like it was deflated. you didn't need akaashi to understand that those were all signs of an emo bokuto.

and it was all because of you.

man, the guilt was unbearable.

"koutarou," you say softly, reaching out to wrap your arms around his broad shoulders. "baby, you are more than enough for me. you're amazing, okay? you're my anchor, and you make me smile when no one else can. compared to you, this fanfiction means nothing." you pause, placing a tender kiss against his warm cheek. "seeing you sad makes me sad, you know?"

"i'm sorry," bokuto mumbles, burying his face in the crook of your shoulder. "i thought i'd let you down or something, like i wasn't being a good boyfriend. it scared me."

his words make your heart hurt even more. you pull away from the hug, letting your earnest gaze meet his. "from now on, you don't have to be scared," you tell him seriously. "i'll stop reading fanfiction, and every day, i'll remind you of how much you mean to me. is that fair, kou?"

bokuto nods, and it's at that moment that you start to see the gloomy aura around him disappear. "i love you," he says, and you can tell that he means it. he always does.

you pull him closer, your fingers combing through his hair soothingly. he hums quietly, enjoying the feeling. "i love you too, koutarou," you smile. "and no story will ever change that."

you let a few moments pass by, simply listening to the comforting sound of his heartbeat. slowly, you let your eyes close, your boyfriend's strong embrace lulling you to a light rest. after a few moments, though, bokuto's voice breaks through the silence. "can i ask you a question, babe?"

you open your eyes. "anything."

he pulls away, his expression completely serious as he looks at you. "can we get something to eat?"

[auspicioustidings]

Dessert

Summary: You're a bit unsure about sex with Johnny as you've not slept with someone since you started transitioning, but it turns out you don't need to worry about it.

Words: 5k

CWs: heavy smut with a sprinkle of breeding kink, reader if mtf trans (no-op, on hormones), terminology used in the start for anatomy is masculine and moves to feminine throughout

If you do not like cis people writing about trans bodies, then skip this one.

You just couldn’t get comfortable with it, couldn’t reconcile your body with the expectations other people put on it. It’s not that your sex drive wasn’t there. Well for a while when you started hormones it died a death, but there was still a desire there now along with the small feminine slope of breasts. Honestly you had sort of thought you’d never get hard again, but after your second or third date with Johnny you went home and masturbated for the first time in what might have been a year or more when he had kissed you and his hand had brushed your nipple as it moved from your cheek to your waist.

--

There were a lot of things you would do before you would have sex. Skydiving without a parachute for instance.

There was a flood of shame after the fact. You and your cock had a contentious relationship. You wouldn’t mind her being there if it hadn’t been decided by the world around you that she made you distinctly unfeminine. But it was a part of your body and the thought of surgery made you feel a little sick. You had been considering it the more you saw Johnny. You just wanted him to like you so badly.

You had it right there in your bio on tinder that you were trans, so it wasn’t like he didn’t know. But then you’d been seeing him for months and you had never talked about it at all. He was the first man you had spoken to on the app who hadn’t immediately wanted to know all the intimate details of your body or made it clear you were a novelty fuck (you had went on a few disaster dates that only made your appetite for sex worse with how they spoke to you before you made excuses and fled early).

The bar was in hell, you knew that, but it didn’t stop you from falling for the gentle Scot with kind eyes. Maybe he was asexual and that’s why he had never really moved beyond chaste kisses. You were too scared to ask, too scared that it would be because he liked you as a person well enough but the idea of a trans body repulsed him. He said he was a straight man on the app after all, he’d probably not want to touch you pre-op (pre-maybe unwanted you were sort of confused on the issue-op).

You were going to his place tonight for dinner. Maybe you’d finally work up the courage to ask him about it.

—

Gaz watched Soap thunk his head against the table again and glanced around to see Price and Ghost found this just as amusing as he did. Watching him go from enthusiastic barracks bunny to repressed simp over the past months had been equal parts sad and hilarious to watch. He was arse over teakettle for some broad he had met on a dating app. His MO was to take a girl on a few dates and develop a FWB situation that suited them both until she wanted to have a full romantic relationship and so parted with him on good terms (usually). This one though he had seemed stunned when he showed up at the pub after their first lunch date. It had been months of him in a daze talking about how much he liked her, how she was funny and smart and beautiful and just got him.

Of course then the fact that he hadn’t yet gotten in her pants had come to light and they watched as Soap got more and more distressed and wound up about it. Soap as a rule was a thirsty little slut at the best of times, for him to have been getting off with only his own hand and a no doubt thoroughly abused fleshlight was unheard of and really convinced Gaz that this might actually be it, he may actually have found the girl who was going to make him want to settle down. They all knew the one time he had tried to transition into something a little hot and heavy she had flinched away, he hadn’t stopped beating himself up about it.

To that end he sighed and supposed he’d better actually give the idiot some advice to make sure he didn’t fuck this up. All he had seen were some photos of the girl and she looked pretty enough, nice little dresses but nothing that screamed religious conservative who wouldn’t be having any sex before marriage (although in honesty he was pretty sure if she said that was the case Soap may get down on one knee there and then).

“Right mate, actually give us some intel to work on here so we can provide some tactical support.”

Soap groaned, head still on the table but now flopped to the side so he could look at Gaz like the most pathetic puppy in the pound.

“Already told ye, she’s bonnie, got her head screwed on and has excellent patter but she disnae seem interested in anything physical. Fuck what if I need tae be with this lassie without pumping her? Like what if she’s just naw intae sex? Ye need tae put my wage up Captain so I can afford the metric fuckton of equipment I’m going tae need tae take care of myself for the rest of my life” he whined, really not doing much to seem less like a kicked mutt.

Gaz saw Price just roll his eyes affectionately before taking a drink of his pint while Ghost simply took about a thousand photos of pathetic puppy Soap. Big fucking help those two were.

“Seems like something she’d have put on her profile, you got it saved still?”

Soap returned his forehead to the table and blindly groped at his jeans to get his phone out, unlock it and hand it over.

“Got a folder for her, screenshot is in there” he mumbled into the table.

Gaz took the offered phone and found the folder. He winced a little because it was almost gross how obviously enamored he was based on the number of photos. Cute, but gross. He blinked a few times at the screenshot of the profile. Oh. Oh yeah ok. John MacTavish was an idiot and Gaz was not quite sure how to break this one to him gently. He didn’t have to because Ghost looked over his shoulder before smacking Soap hard on the head.

“What the fuck wis that for?!”

“Being a daft cunt. You said she flinched because you tried to feel up her tit and because of that you think she’s not into sex?”

“Well aye, what else dae I take away from that?”

“That she’s growing a set of tits and they’re tender as fuck Sergeant. Your girl wasn’t flinching because she didn’t like it, she was flinching because it probably gave her an ache that if you’re lucky shot straight between her thighs.”

“I… you’re messing wi’ me.”

Ghost just looked at him with some disgust while Gaz looked on in pity. Poor idiot Soap. Ghost and Price has shared a trans woman for a while he knew, so they would both be well aware of the basics. He hadn’t actually fallen into bed with a trans woman himself, but he had certainly had some good times with Farah and Alex. He never wanted to repeat the experience of not knowing what the fuck he was doing and accidentally hurting Alex by saying the wrong thing again, so he had made sure to learn the basics of not only trans men but really anyone that didn’t identify with their assigned gender. Soap had obviously just never even thought about it, hadn’t even considered that maybe he had to do some prep here.

“He’s not messing with you. It’s different for everyone but generally if you’re growing out some tits then there is going to be tenderness” he said gently.

“They can get real puffy too. You give them a good sucking and she’ll mew real nice for you. Got to take advantage of when they’re at their most tender, ” Price added, clearly reminiscing.

Soap perked up then, sitting up properly in his seat and looking at his team to make sure they were serious. He clearly found in their expressions that they were.

“Right, what dae I need tae ken so I can give this lassie enough orgasms tae fall in love with me?”

—

The atmosphere at dinner felt a little off. You put it down to your own nervousness, but Johnny seemed out of sorts as well. He was over-attentive and couldn’t seem to sit still, knee bouncing and hitting against the kitchen island you were sat at.

“Dinner was really nice” you said carefully, trying to get things back on track.

“Can I eat you for dessert?” he blurted.

Speech was not coming to you easily through the surprise. Nearly a year of very little happening between your thighs and now something was certainly happening. You were mortified, not willing to look down to see what was probably visibly poking against your little cotton dress. Johnny misinterpreted your reaction.

“Wait, naw in a cannibal way! I’m naw intae that. It’d be too much a pain in the arse tae cut ye up anyway and human isnae supposed tae taste that nice. Not that you widnae taste nice! I think ye’d taste lovely. But I’d never eat ye. Well naw, I want tae eat ye, but like out. I want tae eat ye out. Fuck I’m making a pure arse of this” he rambled, getting louder and louder as he started to pace the kitchen.

If there was anything to get you out of your own head, it was watching Johnny have an absolute meltdown in front of you. You bit back a laugh and stood, putting a hand on his shoulder to stop his pacing and then quickly turning into a blushing mess when his full attention turned to you. You chewed on your lip as you thought of what to say.

“If ye need your lip bit, let me dae it” he said, looking almost dazed as he stared at where your teeth sunk into plump flesh.

You blushed harder and squirmed under his attention, letting your eyes drop away from his and instantly making a choking noise when you caught sight of his incredibly prominent and impossibly large cock trying to punch a hole through his jeans. Your own throbbed in response, excitedly bouncing up against your stomach. You tried to shift your hands, give yourself some coverage.

“Tell me what words tae use” Johnny groaned, his nose nuzzling into your hair. “We dinnae need… if ye dinnae want tae do anything then we can just cuddle and watch a film, but fuck darlin’ I’ve been fucking my fist to the thought of you since I first laid eyes on ye. Want to ruin you bonnie girl.”

Your heart nearly exploded out of your chest. He wanted you. He wanted your body. He hadn’t seen it yet, but there was no way he could have missed what was going on downstairs with how close and eager he was. His hips had shifted forward and you could feel the tip of his hard cock brush against the arousal sitting hard at your stomach. You let out a tiny whine at that.

“Please” he groaned, strained.

You had never had a man beg for you before and it made delight spark through you.

“I.. um… well I’ve not, uh, had any work done” you said, mouth dry as you tried to work through the words and reel in the shame trying to drown out your arousal.

His hands settled on your waist and flexed a few times like he was trying to hold himself back.

“I’m naw going tae be able tae keep my mouth shut if I get tae have ye, so I just need tae know what words ye want me tae use. I’m naw much for the clinical kink but I can try using biological terms if ye want” he offered, although you could hear the distaste in his voice.

You didn’t think you would find Johnny spouting the words penis, testicles or anus very hot either, but you had thought… well you had thought you were sort of limited to using masculine terms for male biology. Only wasn’t the whole point that biological sex and gender were different things? If he was willing to try it out, you wondered how it would feel to use different terms.

“Fuck baby, where did your mind just wander off tae?”

When he whined at you, you only then noticed you had started rutting your hips against him at the thought of him eating you out. The thought of him getting his tongue on your clit and sucking.

“Would it be ok to use uh��� for words I mean. You could, if you wanted, um…” you stuttered, too embarrassed to actually say the words out loud.

One of his hands moved from your waist to creep up underneath your dress and you nearly saw stars at the first touch of another person against you in a long time.

“Let’s start here, nice puffy pussy lips for me tae bury my face in?” he asked, fingers brushing across what you had always thought of as balls but now with a revelation were lips.

He was watching you carefully now, looking to see your reaction to his words and waiting for a nod before moving his hand up to where you were throbbing for him.

“I’ve been cruel, getting your pretty wee clit all swollen and throbbing this whole time and naw giving ye any relief haven’t I?”

“I- fuck, Johnny please” you moaned, sure he would undo you embarrassingly quickly.

“Aye? Ye like me playing with her?” he said, running his fingers over the very top. “Fuuuckk” he groaned, “fucking soaked for me, good girl, perfect fucking lassie.”

You wanted to scold him about his bad knee when he thumped down to the floor, but his head was beneath your dress and he was mouthing desperately at your panties before you could articulate the thought. He latched onto your clit through the wet cotton and sucked messily while one hand sunk into the meat of your ass and the other played with the sensitive lips of your pussy that were now spilling out around your panties. You could do nothing but grip his hair like a lifeline.

He slurped and sucked and drooled loudly, and the idea that he was doing this because it gave him a heady rush rather than purely for your benefit made you weak at the knees. He loved this. He was turning into a fucking dog at your feet for a taste of you. His fangs latched onto the cotton of your underwear and tugged until they were pulled down to your knees and gravity did the rest to pool them at your ankles before he left bites all over the inside of your thighs.

“Taste so good, fucking perfect, going tae make me cum in my jeans” he rambled, his words spoken into wet skin as his tongue just couldn’t stop long enough to properly speak.

He couldn’t stay in one place. He was at your lips, your clit, he was licking the seam of where your legs met your groin to drink the sweat that had gathered there as if he was dying of thirst and you were an oasis. His nails were clawing into you, fingers sinking into the soft pillow of your stomach only to leave their marks before moving to your ass and then your thighs and then back between your legs. It was like he didn’t know where to start, couldn’t focus on just one thing because he wanted it all at once.

“Let me eat you out, I’ve got tae eat you out bonnie, I’ll fucking die if I cannae get my tongue up your arse” he begged as his mouth started to make it’s way past your lips and to your tight hole.

Your fingers tightened in his hair just a little and almost instantly his head popped out from under your dress. Fuck. He was an absolute mess, your slick all over his face. It wasn’t limited to just his lips because he had been eager, he had pushed your fluids into his skin at every angle he could get. His big liquid eyes were glazed as he stared up at you from on his knees.

“What’s wrong?” you rasped, surprised that you could even speak right now.

“I didnae ask” he said, frowning and looking at you like the Goddess that could forgive his sins. “Need tae know where my tongue is going, if ye still want it. Where my fingers can sink intae ye. Please, need it, fucking need it.”

Jesus fuck. He was rutting against your foot, humping it with a whine in the back of his throat. You had never felt so powerful as you stared at him and ran a hand through his hair only to have him nuzzle his cheek into that hand.

“I want to see your cock Johnny” you said, no, ordered.

He fumbled to get his jeans off and there was a dull thud as his cock finally sprang free and smacked against his stomach. It was the fattest cock you had ever seen and you could already feel yourself go cross eyed at just the thought of the stretch. The thought of taking it in your cunt.

“Use your tongue and fingers to stretch out my pussy Johnny, stretch it out for your cock.”

There was something transcendent about being able to say it, being able to ask for your pussy to be fucked and for him to light up like you had just handed him the stars and the moon. He all but tackled you, another one for the bad knee you’d scold him for later, and threw you over his shoulder.

He didn’t really pause to get properly out of his jeans, just kicked them off on the way which nearly caused you both to tumble to the ground more than once. You couldn’t help the burst of laughter at his antics. You had been so scared of this for so long, but this was your Johnny. He was a goofball and loyal and desperate to please, you never needed to hide from him.

He did trip once you got into the bedroom, just about managing to toss you off onto the bed with a bounce while he went tumbling onto the floor and smacked his face on the mattress on the way down.

“Oh! Come here, let me see” you laughed, crawling to the edge of the bed and grabbing his head in your hands to find a dopey, dreamy smile on his face as he looked at you.

God, he was such an idiot. You leaned forward to kiss him, trying to pour your adoration into it but quickly finding he kissed your mouth much like he had kissed your clit earlier, sloppy and all over the place. He broke off just long enough to get his top off, tossing it without a care. He was a work of art fully naked and for a moment you balked at the thought of being naked next to him, but you didn’t have much time to consider it before he was on top of you and his mouth was latched onto your tit through you dress.

Your hips bucked up and you screeched in surprise. So fucking tender, my God your tits were so fucking tender. He wasn’t gentle, he was a dog with a bone and he was not about to let go.

“Fuck, oh my God fuck Johnny it’s so much, it’s too much!”

He slapped gently at your thigh.

“You can take it, strongest lassie in the world, need tae have your pretty tits in my mouth” he said, now straddling you and sitting up to just stare at your tits through your dress.

Now that he had gotten one side of the material wet it was sticking obscenely to your puffy nipple. You couldn’t wear bras. Your chest wasn’t big enough to need them yet, but they also were too much for how tender you were. You always had to wear looser fabric around your chest. He was fully fixated, his mouth open and slack and his eyes glossy.

“Need tae see them, let me see my girls” he said, starting to peel your dress up and over your head.

You let him. You couldn’t believe it, but you let him get you fully naked under him. You watched him carefully but there was nothing like disgust or disappointment in his face. There was fucking rapture there, there was disbelief as if he could not believe his luck, couldn’t believe that he could ever do anything to earn this privilege of seeing your body all swollen and aching and flushed under him.

He tweaked your nipple and then finally his eyes snapped to yours when you whined long and low.

“We’re going tae get clamps for these. I want tae tie you to the bed one night and spend the whole time torturing these fucking glorious tits before drowning them in my cum. Fuck. Fuck you’re so perfect. Play with them, please please fucking play with them while I eat your pussy. Need tae hear you make those noises again.”

“Yeah?”

“Aye darlin’, want ye twisting those nipples until ye cannae see straight.”

Your hands dutifully went to start playing with your tits, gingerly at first but a little rougher as you gained confidence and his head settled between your legs to start lapping at your cunt. The pain mixed with the pleasure was exquisite and you could feel your clit throbbing angrily with the need to cum.

“Johnny, want to cum with you inside me. Please” you groaned.

“Shh, got tae be patient for me bonnie girl, let me get ye all nice and stretched. Such a tight little cunt, needs some love tae get ready for my cock.”

“You’re so big, are you going to fit?”

You thought that was probably not a very sexy thing to ask but you genuinely had some doubts. He let out some feral noise and pushed his middle finger against your hole, using his tongue to relax the muscles enough that it popped in and sunk deep making your head thump back against the bed as you moaned.

“Ye’ll fucking make it fit. Strangling my finger, your cunt wants it. Fuck she wants my big, fat cock in her, I can tell with how wet ye are.”

You were wet, liquid drooling from your clit and his saliva everywhere, but he was quick to get a bottle out of the bedside table and absolutely drench your hole with lube.

“That’s it, fucking drooling for me aren’t ye girl?”

You glanced down to find he was not looking at you because it wasn’t you he was talking to. His full attention was at your twitching entrance as he pushed another finger in and started to scissor them to stretch you. His eyes flickered up to catch yours and he gave no warning before he smacked your clit hard to make you yowl.

“Get your fucking hands on those tits, dinnae make me ask again.”

You nearly came right there from the dominance in his tone.

“Yes, sir.”

It was torture playing with your sensitive tits while Johnny stretched you open. If you got distracted by the sensations and stopped playing with yourself he gave a warning slap to your ass to get you going again. You weren’t sure you had ever seem him so utterly concentrated on a task as he was opening you to take his cock.

He was so thorough and efficient that he had four fingers jammed into you before you even realised he had moved up to three. There wasn’t any sting to the stretch, or maybe you were too busy feeling the sharp ache from your tits to notice. He curled his middle finger and hit a spot that made your whole body convulse.

“Fuck baby that’s it, knew I’d find her didn’t I? Nearly got ye squirting from that g-spot. Going tae get my whole fist inside one day, going tae fucking get it in wrapped around my cock and wank off inside of ye” he said, clearly delighted with himself. “Need tae be inside ye. Fuck I need it.”

You looked at him to see he had a hand strangled around his angrily throbbing cock. He was kneeling up now, his fingers still inside of you as he looked at you for permission. Even now he still wanted to make sure he wasn’t fucking anything up.

“Johnny. Fuck me.”

He pulled his fingers out with a squelch and lined his cock up. The first push against your hole met resistance as it tried to keep the blunt head of him out, but with a few rocks the muscles gave way and he was inside you. Both of you sucked in a sharp breath and froze. He wasn’t moving yet, his cock only half way inside, but it was fucking life changing. It was right. It was so, so very right to have this man inside you.

“Fuck. So tight and hot and wet and perfect. Could stay inside this pussy forever” he whined, straining hard to keep himself still.

You rocked your hips up and he groaned, pulling a little out before thrusting back in, getting a little more of himself inside you each time until finally his heavy sack was smashed up against your pussy. He looked at you and you nodded.

“Hands above your head now darlin’” he said, wrapping his hands around the backs of your knees once you had complied and pushing so that your knees were up around your head. “Told ye that she’d make it fit, now I’m going tae fuck ye until you’re ruined for any other cock but mine.”

With a grunt he pulled out to the tip and drilled forward to bury himself fully inside you in one hard thrust that had you squealing and bucking your hips up. He only growled and pressed harder on your legs to get you pressed flat to the bed before he really started fucking you. Your hands met the headboard as you were shoved up the bed with the force of his thrusts.

You felt like you were having an out of body experience, like you were watching yourself get impaled and finally seeing yourself as every bit of woman that you had worried you weren’t all this time.

“Not going tae last, need ye tae cum for me. Want it all over the fucking sheet, want ye tae squirt everywhere” Johnny growled above you.

You were so fucking close with him hitting the spot with every thrust. You were already drooling with arousal and everything was swollen and throbbing and ready to burst.

“Then I’m going tae give ye my cum, going tae fuck it so deep, fucking drown your cunt and get ye round with my fucking kids.”

You whined and felt yourself tense, ready for your whole body to let go, but his pace stuttered and you pulled back from the edge. You wanted to cry.

“Fuck fuck fuck, we didnae talk about that. I didnae ask” he said, horror on his face.

He was back to that pleading puppy, so scared he had hurt you as he released your legs. He had just ruined your orgasm and his by the looks of how tense he was and how his cock throbbed inside you because he was worried that a breeding kink was going to distress you. Oh fuck, you were so in love with this stupid, wonderful idiot. You grabbed his face in your hands and brought it down to yours as your legs came to settle around his waist with your heels crossed behind his ass.

“Johnny I’m fine. It’s hot. I love you for checking, but if you don’t fuck a baby into me right this second and make me squirt then I’m going to go in a shower and take care of myself.”

“Hold on then gorgeous lassie” he replied with a grin and what you swear were teary eyes before he started fucking into you again.

It wasn’t as frantic or aggressive as before, it was a sensual roll as he held you tight. It was intimate and loving and perfect and when he reached between you to play with your clit you broke beautifully and felt your release streak hot and sticky against your stomach.

“Good girl, now take it” he moaned as he thrust hard three more times before emptying himself deep inside of you.

The collapsing weight of him was suffocating but comforting and you just laughed in disbelief that this had just happened and hugged him to you. After a moment you groaned as your tits were overstimulated from the skin contact and your cunt was feeling sore as he rutted even while softening. He chuckled to himself and lifted off of you. His cock leaving you caused a bit of a wince, he really was huge.

He propped himself up by your side and lazily played with his own cum oozing from your cunt, scooping it up and pushing it back inside. After a few moments of you both catching your breath he leaned over and kissed you softly.

“You’re the most perfect woman I’ve ever met. I love you, bonnie lassie.”

“I love you too.”

—

Soap had barely walked into the pub before Ghost and Price swore up a storm and handed over a tenner to Gaz. He collected his winnings smugly. It might have seemed a safe bet to them that Soap would fuck it up, but if there was one thing that Gaz knew for certain it was that even a mutt could be trained when they had the right motivation. And the dopey grin on the 141 mutt’s face told him that he had indeed found that motivation in between the legs of his pretty girl.

[whateverisbeautiful]

♥️Reveling in Richonne - TOWL

#29: The Malfunction (1.04)

gif cred: @kimwexlersponytail

From the first three TOWL episodes, it was clear that Rick had been dealing with a lot of inner turmoil. But in the following conversation with Michonne, we see just how much damage has been done in the years he's been isolated. Because even when given an out to break free, Rick still won't go home with the woman he knows he needs like he needs air - and that right there lets you know the temp controller was right to declare a malfunction...

So after Rick hilariously gets riled up by the technology in this apartment, he’s ready to air out some grievances of his own. 

gif cred: @nat111love

He turns to Michonne and says, “I told you not to show them who you are. And you break the kill record. You grab the R-DIM from Thorne and nearly get yourself killed.”

gif cred: @nat111love

And I love Michonne’s little ☹️ face when he’s talking.

gif cred: @nat111love

I was like Rick, we and Michonne don’t give a damn about the CRM after she just told you that you have a son.

Like are we really talking about the R-DIM and not RJ right now?

But CRM talk is how Rick deflects from the real issues.

And then sounding truly shaken Rick addresses how Michonne is making it a bit challenging to achieve his goal of keeping her alive when she's pulling them out of helicopters.

gif cred: @nat111love

Homeboy is understandably still recovering from that helicopter plunge lol. But also, an A is gonna do what an A is gonna do so he should’ve known Michonne was going to A it up and somehow take matters into her own hands. 

gif cred: @nat111love

And then Michonne let’s him know why she did this when she approaches him and passionately says, “That’s because I don’t like who you are with them. What they make you. It isn’t you.” 

gif cred: @nat111love

I like that she says ‘it isn’t you’ because she knows him so well and she knows that what Rick has become isn’t true to himself.

And I always appreciate the way Michonne doesn’t lose sight of the fact that the CRM is responsible for what Rick is now, whereas Rick seems to think he’s the one to blame for the shell of a person he’s become.

gif cred: @nat111love

Rick somberly says, “You think I want this?” Which makes me sad and also it’s interesting how he keeps saying “you think.” It matters to him that Michonne knows this outcome is not at all something he wanted or that he didn’t want to be with her. 

The tech voice chimes in again and says, “Your preferred temperature has been reached.” I love that it chimes in here saying this after Richonne really did just get a whole bunch off their chest in their heated argument. 

Michonne silently looks at Rick with teary eyes. She knows he didn't want this CRM life, but she also knows he's still refusing to go for what he actually wants which is being home with her.

gif cred: @nat111love

So then Michonne walks away very visibly frustrated as she hits one of the items in the apartment. Rick finally switches up his approach a bit more to old Rick when he softly says, “Are you gonna give it to me?”

Michonne turns around shaking her head at all this as she says, “So what? We just let them win?” (Side note: I love the rain in the background it really sets the mood. The earth cries when Richonne fights, ijs 😌) 

Rick takes a breath and looks down as he shows a moment of pained vulnerability and says, “Look at me. They won a long time ago. They won the day Jadis brought me here.”  And as he says this you can really sense just how defeated Rick is. 😢

He’s lost all belief in himself and I feel like the scars, the one hand, the CRM gear, it’s like he looks at all that and sees reminders of how the CRM won against him as well as seeing it as how he sacrificed his life to save his family. He just wasn’t expecting that family to also show up and try to save him. And what he has to see is that Michonne doesn’t and would never look at him and see the failure he thinks he is. 

This is Michonne’s first time learning that trifling Jadis was behind Rick’s disappearance all those years ago so she says, “She brought you?” And then she quickly puts it together saying, “She was working for them wasn’t she.” Rick says, “With them” and I wonder if he corrects it that way because he’s clarifying that Jadis was way more hands-on in this than just being another worker. 

gif cred: @perryabbott

Rick finally gets to tell Michonne what happened after the bridge explosion when he says, “She was running away from Alexandria. She saw me half dead at the riverbank.” Then he finally tells Michonne about what prompted his switch up from 'we’ll get away together' to just trying to get Michonne home when he says, “She will destroy our home if I try to leave. I was making her let you go. I got that much out of her.”

It’s crazy this isn’t even the first time Rick had to make a deal with a villain regarding Michonne. But as we see the difference between the Governor deal and this Jadis deal is now Rick truly wouldn’t even consider for a second trading Michonne’s safety for anything. He’ll do whatever to ensure she’s okay, including painfully being apart from her.

Michonne asks, “You want me to go?” And while it’s a very different context it reminds me of when Rick said the same to Michonne in my favorite TWD Richonne moment from 9.03. And both times they know the answer is no. I think Michonne asks this here because she’s like 'As long as you don’t want me to go then we can take on anything else.' What Rick wants is more important to Michonne than what Jadis or the CRM has going on.

And then I absolutely love the delivery when Rick so sincerely says, “I want you to live.” He means that with everything in him and he not only wants it - as we’ll learn by the end of the ep, he needs her to live.

gif cred: @andy-clutterbuck

The problem is he’s become so one-track-minded about it, that all he can focus on is keeping her alive instead of really seeing her and letting it sink in that she’s with him right now. But also I just love the way he says he wants her to live because it’s so clear that she’s who he’d do anything to protect. Again, he’s just struggling to realize that he’s who she’d do anything to protect too.

The face he makes before he says I want you to live - it’s evident that her leaving is the last thing he wants. You can tell the idea of her leaving is heartbreaking to him, especially after the pain of having gone without her all these years, but again, he’ll break his own heart 1000 times if it means keeping her safe. 

Michonne is quiet as she looks into Rick’s eyes and then Rick shares, “She’s threatened by us because together, you and me, she thinks we can do anything.” And knowing that’s the only thing Jadis has ever been right about, Michonne assuredly says, “We can.” And again I love Michonne's belief in them.

I especially have to keep reminding myself that it’s still only been a few days since Rick and Michonne have been reunited. Like being in each other's presence is still so fresh but despite how much they’ve gone through apart and how much they’ve changed as individuals, Michonne still knows she and Rick are an unstoppable duo together.

gif cred: @perryabbott

She says, “We can stop her.” And the tears in her eyes. 😭 You can feel how much she wants Rick to remember they can take on anyone and anything that's keeping their family apart. It’s always so visible how deeply Richonne feels about each other which is why they so badly want to figure this out.

Rick says, “You saw what happened to your friends. It will happen to everyone we know.” And first, let me just say that I love that they’re trying to communicate despite feeling so much and being on separate pages. Like this fight they're having with each other is also one of the ways they’re fighting for each other. 

And then I adore hearing Rick say, “To our children. Our son.” 😭 It’s his first time verbally acknowledging their son RJ specifically and the breathy way he says it you can tell that while he has a wall up, the news of his son is still very much on his mind and means something immense to him.

Even just saying the words ‘our son’ aloud carried weight to him and I love that we’ve arrived at a point where Rick is mentioning his son with Michonne. 🥲 As much as Rick tries it for the first half of this episode, one thing I do really appreciate is that the second he learns about RJ, his son is fully included in who he has to fight for and protect. He loves him already. 🥹

I love seeing Richonne have this conversation as parents of their kids. This is our first time hearing Rick refer to Judith as their child too so I’m just here for it all the way. 🙌🏽

Michonne says, “If we get to Alexandria first…” But Rick doesn’t think that’s realistic as he interjects with, “Hide everyone we know? If we get there in time. You want to risk that?” It’s interesting the first thing he thinks they’d have to do is hide and be on defense rather than be on offense about it. 

gif cred: @clonecaptains

Then Michonne is speaking my language when she says, “We kill her then. Should have done that in the beginning.” Truer words have never been spoken, y'all. 💯 And I'm glad that Michonne is willing and ready to take that evil lady out. Had me like...

Rick explains why that won’t work either when he says, “She left it all behind - who we are, where we’re from - so people will find us if we did that.” I love that they’re still a 'we.' And you can see in Rick’s sad eyes that he really feels there is no way out of this for him and he’s convinced himself that going home together just isn’t on the table.

Rick looks at her for a moment and then says, “Please just give me the PRB.” He knows that all he can do is ask and say please because you know he would never just try to grab it from her. 

Michonne glares at him and walks away and I think part of her is frustrated that Rick so immediately wants to turn to pressing the PRB to 'solve' their problems without at least trying another option with her. Michonne asks him why all the BS because I’m sure she’s wondering why Rick was doing the most at the CRM to evade having to tell her all this context he’s just now giving her. 

gif cred: @taiturner

Rick says, “I had to get you out.” And you can tell again that he’s just so convinced that what he’s doing is what’s best for her and what he has to do as someone who feels in every way meant to protect her. And I like how he walks toward her (cuz 🧲 ) and so they can still have this fight face-to-face. Again, I don’t think Rick would keep on in a fight like this in his previous relationship but in his marriage with Michonne, he can’t help but stay in it and try to explain.

And honestly, I'd bet Michonne is also more expressive in this relationship than in her previous one too. Like she’s allowing herself to feel the full extent of what she’s feeling and vocalize it and I love to see it. Again, it’s the biggest breath of fresh air seeing Michonne’s emotions and feelings be a focus. Reason number one million why I’ll forever applaud Danai for this episode. 👏🏽💐

Michonne then says, “To lie? To leave that note and think I would just leave. Me?” I’m glad she asked that because she’s like 'now Rick, I know you know me better than that.' No matter how long it’s been, he knows Michonne wouldn't just leave him behind. 

Rick says, “Both of us couldn’t go home. Would you have gone if I told you?” And she wouldn’t have. But still, if he told her the truth, she’d help devise some sort of a plan together and they’d figure out how to go home like Richonne always does so he should have told her.

The way Rick’s voice stays going up a few octaves in this fight. Poor guy is going through it. 🥺 And he’s putting Michonne through it too which needs to stop. 🥺 (Side note: This whole marital fight is so good and raw and even when at odds I’m just sitting here watching them thinking look at my babies, they even fight attractively lol 😋) 

Michonne knows she wouldn’t have gone if he told her so, being willing to draw up a new plan, she calmly offers up a solution saying, “Okay. We go back. We find her evidence. We destroy it. We kill her. And then we go home.” Sounds like a plan to me. 💁🏽‍♀️

I like how Michonne is like no matter what the plan is, killing Jadis stays a part of it. I’m with her all the way. 👏🏽 

I know Michonne knows this mission can’t be deemed a success until they’re back with their babies and so they have to get home no matter what. Rick is silent and visibly anxious and this is the first indicator of the ep that tells you there’s a lot more keeping Rick stuck than just the threat of others.

Like Michonne is willing to accommodate him and even go back with the dreaded CRM, and her plan could be their way out - but it’s risky, and even more, it’ll mean Rick potentially has to experience losing Michonne again which killed him the first time.

It’s interesting how Rick's trauma has formed in a way that makes him more focused on how having her again means losing her again. I love the way they explore that this episode.

Again, Danai said we aren’t doing surfacey trauma, we’re going to really dive into the deeply damaging toll that what these characters have been through would take. And to her I forever say...

 

When Rick is silent, Michonne can sense his apprehension and she asks, “Do you think we can do anything? Because I do.” Aw this moment. It’s so sweet and so sad. 🥺

It's sweet because again Michonne believes in them like no other and trusts that after everything they’ve been through there’s nothing they can’t do. But then it’s sad because it also feels like right now she’s believing in them alone since Rick is now convinced they’re no match for the CRM. 

Rick is again silent and shaken and so Michonne asks, “What did they do to you?” I know a lot of thought was put into the dialogue this episode which made me put a lot of thought into reflecting on the significance of the wording choices. And something I really like in this episode is how Michonne always brings it back to this idea that the CRM did something, they took something. She knows this is not Rick’s doing like he thinks it is.

And I like how when wording things this way she slowly but surely frees Rick up to realize that rather than think he’s done something wrong - something wrong has been done to him. And if it’s been done it can be undone. Like when it comes to undoing the damage the CRM did to Rick, Michonne knows...

I also just really like how this two-character episode is between two soulmates who have a long-established interconnection which means Michonne can sense something far deeper going on with Rick even if he’s not outright saying it. And when she asks 'What did they do to you?' it feels like it’s her searching for that deeper truth she knows and can feel has a hold on him.  

Rick just quietly says, “We need to go back.” He’s stuck on that. And Michonne blinks and asks, “...And after that?” Rick is so fixated on this route and so Michonne's question is her trying to gauge if this is really him saying they just don’t even try and then go their separate ways when they go back.

Rick stays looking down, silent, and my heart breaks into a million pieces when Michonne then has an emotional smile and asks, “Do you still love me?” Y'all, it makes me want to shed a tear every time. 😭😭😭

gif cred: @nat111love

Like the way she vulnerably says it knowing it’s one of the most painful things to even have to wonder but she’s trying to smile almost as though trying to let him know he can be honest if that’s the case. 🥺

I know in almost 8 years of being apart and being as in love as ever with him, Michonne probably never once wondered if Rick still loved her. But I think after all this out-of-character behavior from him it had to cross her mind as a possible reason why he could push her away this much when the Rick she knew would never do these things. 

It kills me to see Michonne like this. 💔 I’m sad it had to get to the point of her even asking him this question and bracing for the answer. And I really do see Michonne the woman, human being, and wife in this moment. Like for years she’s had to operate first and foremost as a mom and community leader but here she’s just a woman who needs reassurance that the love of her life still loves her. 😢

It’s also interesting that she asks this even despite Rick having said 'I love you' a couple times in letters and in words since they've reunited. It just goes to show that Michonne is an actions-person and so while the words are nice she also knows the actions have been as she’ll say later - not how Rick loves. 

The one good thing is that Michonne does not have to sit with this question for long because Rick is quick to reassure her when he steps towards her, looks right in her eyes and whispers, “Always.” 😭

gif cred: @nat111love

I love that that’s how he responds because it’s not just saying ‘yes’ it’s saying ‘always yes’ - past, present, future, he always loves her. 🥹And then he makes it even better by sincerely letting her know, “I’ve never stopped loving you.” 🥲

I’m very glad he said that and so quickly because despite being silent for a while in this scene, this is one thing he is eager to dispel her doubts about. You can tell that the one thing that’s most intolerable to him is making Michonne think any of his actions are coming from a lack of love.

Like he can have her thinking everything they have is broken but not that he doesn’t love her because in fact for the last few years, all he’s been is love for her. It’s the only emotion he even still has intact since he’s been living while dead. He's adamant that she knows the ‘I love you forever’ part of that getaway boat note was 100% true.

gif cred: @msanonships

Rick’s eyes have never lied to Michonne. Even if he tries to she can look right in his eyes and know he’s still in there and he’s still longing to be with her regardless of what’s currently keeping them apart

And not to get too ahead just yet, but all I’ll say is I do get why Michonne mentions the toll this “back and forth” is taking on her later in the ep because Rick's inner turmoil really is causing some whiplash. One moment he’s saying it’s over and another moment he’s saying with the utmost sincerity that he’ll always love her and has never stopped loving her. It's a lot of emotions to put Michonne through. However, I am glad that it’s always crystal clear in Rick's face which one he really means.

And when he says he never stopped loving her, he means that. Michonne knows he means it too and I love the way she looks in his eyes hearing this and even more, believing this. They are both so extremely good at conveying how much they love each other in just their eyes alone. 😍

gif cred: @ricksmarlene

The way Michonne looks at Rick here just clearly communicates that she’s never stopped loving him either. I love when they pan out too and we can see that they’re holding each other. I knew those magnets in them were gonna start getting their way eventually lol.

And it’s just so sweet and tender that even after the yelling and the disagreeing and the hurt that still all needs to be addressed, they can still find themselves in this position looking at each other with all the love in the world. 

gif cred: @nat111love

So then, choosing to trust and defer to Rick yet again, Michonne slowly hands him the PRB. That’s a big deal. One; because Michonne wouldn’t just surrender to something like this for anyone.

But also two; because what this is essentially doing is agreeing to let Rick call the CRM and potentially move forward with him and her going separate ways. That has to be so painful to nearly agree to but she’s willing to meet Rick where he’s at because I think when she looks in his eyes she truly does trust that he’s trying to do what’s best for them because of how much he loves her. 

gif cred: @taiturner

As soon as Rick has the PRB a new development occurs. Rick and Michonne look out the window and see that their helicopter crashed into a building during the storm. Now is the universe a Richonner or is the universe a Richonner? 😋

Rick says, “That’s our helicopter. You saved our lives.” See Michonne may be crazy but she is also always right. Amen. 😇 And I like how Rick immediately gives Michonne credit for saving their lives. Even in a fight, he’s gonna give his wife her flowers. 💐

Michonne is elated by what this implies for them as she says, “It’s gone. So we’re gone.” Rick says, “yeah” in a way that doesn’t sound nearly as relieved by that thought.

But also I like that he does respond to her by saying yeah because, while it’s such a small detail, something I’ve always noted in these posts is how Richonne stays verbally acknowledging each other's words even with just a yeah to affirm. Hence why it was so jarring when Rick had no verbal acknowledgment about their son, initially. Again, watching that whole RJ reveal moment...

Michonne turns to Rick with her pretty smile and says, “Jadis will think we died in there. They all will.” And Rick is again silent and hesitant so Michonne says, “Rick?” And then unable to look her in the eye, Rick looks down and just says, “No.”

It’s wild enough hearing Rick say an outright no to Michonne because he usually avoids that but especially regarding this - finally having a way to go home together. I’m telling you the way Michonne is looking at him is the same way I was looking at him cuz what???

gif cred: @figmentof

Michonne softly asks, “What did you say?” And then Rick just rocks us all when he says, “I’m not going home.” And if it wasn’t obvious that there has been some serious damage done to Rick Grimes since he’s been away all these years this moment right here made it ultra clear. 

He has an out to go home and be with the woman he needs to live and his baby girl and the young son he dreamt about and has never met and he's not taking the opportunity - that lets you know something is seriously wrong. Like...

Another thing I applaud Danai for is how she had to write a Rick Grimes that is acting out of character while still feeling like the character. She did that very well and Andy played it phenomenally too. 👏🏽

The scene ends with Michonne looking right at Rick as he can’t bring himself to make full eye contact, instead looking down and defeated. This riveting sequence made me very curious to see what was really going on with Rick because we now know it’s not just the CRM keeping Rick in chains but some far deeper internal imprisonment beneath the surface.

And fortunately, it will all get explored excellently as the episode progresses. 😌👌🏽

[piratefishmama]

Fake it till you make it | Part 4

‘Boundaries’ were harder to settle on than they'd expected them to be. Eddie didn’t seem to want to put anything on the “strictly no” list. Even when Steve suggested sex should be on there Eddie just wiggled his brows and claimed a week in a cabin with him might change things.

Steve found that hilarious enough to laugh at (much to Eddie's adorable pout) but also too fair to disagree with.

They were two healthy, queer, adult men! What was a little consensual nookie between fake boyfriends?

Plus he couldn’t tell if Eddie was joking or not so he put that on the mental ‘maybe a boundary’ list that may or may not be tested.

Steve wasn’t about to completely rule it out either! He had a healthy libido and Eddie wasn’t unattractive. He… actually was pretty damn attractive.

Nice eyes, nice hair, nice lips, nice voice, nice han— anyway, they had a whole week together in a romantic chalet, pretending to date.

Anything could happen. Especially if they didn’t rule anything out. And ruling it out only made it seem more exciting, like it was dangerous. Best to just not rule it out.

“What about kissing?” Steve pondered aloud, a small frown on his brow

“If I’m not ruling out sex, Harrington, I think kissing should be fi—"

“No, dumbass, not ruling it out, I mean… it’s gotta seem like a thing we normally do right? An you gotta stop calling me Harrington, it’s Steve. Boyfriends don’t call each other by their last names.”

“I’ll have a mental list of pet names prepared before the day ends, don’t you worry, Stevie, but what do you suggest? Are you thinking we should practice?” Eddie leaned forward a grin stretching on his lips that almost seemed predatory, like he was expecting Steve to stumble through a rebuttal, expecting him to back down or to apologise, but no, Steve wasn’t some simpering maiden who’d bashfully turn him down.

Steve was an experienced ladies man with a reputation for being… for lack of a better term, a bit of a hometown slut.

Even if he had no practical experience with men, that didn’t stop him from exuding confidence as he moved onto his haunches and crossed the very short distance between them, forcing that mischievous little shit right back into his spot as Steve basically climbed from his hands and knees into Eddie’s lap, watching in satisfaction as all that mischief just kind of…

Drained from his face.

Drained and replaced with wide-eyed rosy cheeked surprise, his hands extended out either side of himself to avoid touching Steve’s body. Adorable.

“Maybe we should.”

“Ah—uhm—heh—y-yeah I mean—m-maybe not here though, yeah?” He talked a good game, he put on a damn fine front, but Eddie Munson wasn’t exactly swimming in cock. Wasn’t even paddling. Or wading the cock waters.

No he was mainly just suffering in queer silence on dry land with just good ol leftie and a few skin mags to make himself feel better. Although the image of Steve Harrington in his lap? Oh yeah that’d do him for a few months.

Sad that it ended so fast though, with Steve backing his perfectly plush ass right back into his seat quickly after, holding his hands up in mock surrender, accepting the stuttered rejection like a champ.

“Wherever you feel comfiest, man, but I suggest we figure that shit out fast, we don’t have long before this trip an you’ll have to meet them before we go so we’re going to have to be comfortable with each other, especially if it’s an environment where we have no excuse to not be comfortable.” If they were in public? Absolutely they’d have many excuses readily available.

The chalet? Not public. In fact it was quite big, the only reason he was so sure his parents would bring someone for him was because it was big enough that they could do their own thing for hours without crossing paths. Sure the bedrooms were close to each other but there were other rooms to fuck around in.

Damn thing had two Jacuzzi’s and a sauna. Not to mention a home cinema to fool around in.

They’d be hoping that he’d spend some easily obtained alone time with this mystery person. God he’d be being pimped out by his parents. How had his life come to this?

“You want me to meet them before we go?” He was just expecting to turn up on the day and be ‘Steve’s new boyfriend’ that they’d never met and would just have to accept would be in attendance. In that scenario he assumed Steve would just get the okay from them to have him come and that be that but—

Clearly his imagination was not even remotely true to real life. “Uhh… yeah, they’ll wanna know who they’re spending a week with, Eddie, c’mon, fake dating starts like… now…”

“So can I charge you from now?”

“Dude that’d be double—”

“Aren’t you rich?”

“I work minimum wage at Family Video for crying out loud, no I’m not rich. My parents are rich, I make enough to keep the lights on and keep my fridge stocked while they’re away. C’mon man… I can do a week, I have savings that’ll cover a week but two weeks? That’s fourteen-hundred, dude, I can’t—” Two weeks was stretching things uncomfortably far. Like… going into debt kind of far. He couldn’t ask his parents for money because they’d wanna know what it was for and for him to get a receipt and Eddie didn’t do receipts. Or refunds. “I might actually starve.”

“… Fine.” He almost argued, you live in a McMansion Steve, I live in a trailer park, but then… Steve did actually work at Family Video, wouldn’t just do that if he didn’t have to, who’s to say his parents paid for anything for him? Who’s to say they didn’t pull the ‘you’re an adult now, son, we’ll let you live here but you have to pull your own weight’ shtick parents were apparently so fond of? God what if they made him pay rent?

Eddie really didn’t know anything about the Harringtons.

Steve clearly didn’t go to college, so… maybe his dad wouldn’t hire him for a role he wasn’t qualified for? Unlikely but not impossible if recent discoveries concerning Steve Harrington were to be used as a reference point. Couldn't assume anything about him. “Fine?”

“Yeah, fine. How about, instead… we stick with my original rate an call it a flat seven hundred, fifty per day, an we start now? We can head to the trailer park an figure shit out there, deduct today so it’s only six fifty cause we’re brainstorming. My uncle may be home, but he should be asleep now. He works nights. We should be fine… unless you wanna head to yours and go in blind, take a ‘we’re figuring things out together awkwardly’ approach to it?” That’d track, he could do awkward, he could probab—

“Nah, they’d never think I was awkward at dating, even though you are a guy.” Of course they wouldn’t. Their lady killer son would never be awkward about dating… he wasn’t either, that was the kicker. He’d got all the way up in Eddie’s business not five minutes ago and looked comfortable doing it, like he actually would have practiced kissing in the back of Eddie’s beat up old van.

Holy shit he could have been making out with Steve Harrington in the back of his van.

He said not here, yeah?

What the shit was his problem?!

Was he actually completely insane?

He was going to be a virgin forever.

“You good there, Ed?”

“Huh?” He squeaked. Eddie Munson did not squeak, but yet, there he was. Squeakin away. “Oh! Y-yeah yeah, just coming to an abrupt unfortunate conclusion, yep, I am a-ok completely and totally oooone-hundreeeeeee— okay I came to a very real realisation that I could have been basically making out with you for ‘practice’ in the back of my van in the bushes where nobody could interrupt us and that could have gone anywhere cause it’s comfy back here yet i decided to tell you ‘not here, yeah?’ like a perma-virgin so— yeah.”

“Jeez… maybe you could pull off the awkward boyfriend thing.”

“…So about that fourteen hundred.”

Part 6

[artycomicfangirl]

I really like your take on Daisy's parents and how you took real life inspirations for them. I also find it sad that Daisy lost her mother at a young age and thus her father was a bit more protective of her.

How would Daisy's father react when his daughter tells him about the relationship she is in? And how would he react towards Luigi when he eventually shows up in Sarasaland?

Ah man, I have only just managed to catch up with my inboxes that need answering! So sorry for the lateness, but here it goes!

(Like how I state in my other Daisy related Headcanons. I shall use the name Richard for her father, because that’s what it seems most of the fans use!)

- A Father’s First Impressions -

• The Princess claims she has found her soulmate? How surprising, really! As much of a leader Richard is, nothing could prepare him for THIS.

• At first, is the usual “Oh! How delightful!” As his on-the-spot response. But inside the turning cogs of his head, he’s already kind of an uncertain mode. For some reason, he always thought that Daisy wasn’t an easy person to win over. In fact, he even sort of takes pride that his daughter can be strong and super independent. That even a Prince needs to keep up with her.

Basically, he got this kind of vision of Daisy in his head that’s a bit different.

• To put it bluntly. The moment when he sees Luigi, he was a bit skeptical. The King found the plumber to be the complete opposite of what he thought Daisy would be in love with. I mean, nothing exactly bad with that. But it definitely caught him off Guard. certainly not the ideal image of a perfect Suitor for his daughter.

• Richard is definitely one of those type of fathers who appear to intimidate and interrogate. Having gotten Luigi’s first impression as a more timid and polite character, the King takes his approach steadily. Simple questions at first. Then as time goes on, he begins to try and delve for knowledge of Luigi’s being, and test him with other questions so far.

• ESPECIALLY at The Dinner feast for the guests! In a more comedic outcome, Richard might become a little too intimidating, to the point where he renders Luigi bumbling a bit over his answers. As the older brother, Mario immediately catches this (I’d like to believe Daisy actually went to Mario for help when she first found herself falling for Luigi!) and notifies Daisy for a swoop-and-save.

• After Hilariously pulling her father out from his chair and out of the room for a ‘few words’, The Princess right away tells her father to cut it out, and that He’s embarrassing her in front of the guests.

The King tries to cover up his little stunt as ‘Just asking questions!”. But upon being the subject of his Daughter’s steely glare, he gives in, defeated. He deeply apologizes, and confesses that he honestly couldn’t understand why she would choose someone like Luigi. Daisy firmly retorts back that Richard is being ridiculous.

• If I am trying to align the King’s personality with the Kodansha Conic more, He’s not the type I think to want to ‘break up’ the two. But he will be prone to nit-pick and point out things that Luigi might have done wrong. Or passive-aggressively put emphasis on Luigi’s flaws.

• I’d like to think that it’s gotten so ridiculous at some points, that a couple of times Mario’s more take-charge attitude has lead to him to defending his brother every time. And in worse case scenarios, ALMOST wanting to argue back. But by the good grace of his younger brother’s pleads to hold back and just be calm. He does it for Luigi’s sake.

• I’d like to think that at some point though, the King has been proven wrong. There would be a moment where he would see the Mario Brothers at the height of their power, leaving him in awe.

• Although at the end it still does take a bit getting used to accepting the fact that his daughter is in love with someone like Luigi. The King does genuinely apologize at the end for giving Luigi a Hard time. And it is in that moment, where the King reveals a bit on why Daisy means so much to him.

• Or picture this. An Enemy that has backed Luigi into a corner. But the King immediately jumps in front to his defense without hesitation.

And the most surprising thing? You mess with his future Son-In-Law? You mess with the King, the Royal Family…and most likely the other kings from the 4 Kingdoms.

[resident-gay-bitch]

Fight & Make Up

marylene minor angst with a happy ending - 7.7 k words

“I broke up with Sirius.” Mary said, pressing the heavy wooden door to the dorm room closed behind her. 

From her bed, Marlene looked up in alarm; eyes wide, body still, and the quidditch magazine she was reading had fallen through her hands, down onto her mattress. Across the room, Lily gasped. She was braiding her hair at the vanity when Mary had walked in, and turned around with an expression so similar to Marlenes, however, her eyes had more sorrow than Marlenes had. 

Mary shrugged, moving into the room to sit on the end of Lily’s bed, closest to the both of them. She grabbed the fluffy stuffed bunny that had been discarded in the early morning rush and dropped onto the floor, popping it in her lap to play with its floppy ears, “It’s over… He was sad, but I think he fancies someone else anyway. Or at least he’s starting too. As strange as it sounds, I hope Sirius gets his way, they’d be much better together than he and I.” 

“Why?” Lily asked, quickly tying off the end of her braid to give Mary her undivided attention, “What? Why…. are you okay, Mary?”

“I’m okay.” Mary gave a half hearted smile, “Well, I’m sad. It was a good relationship, and now it’s over, of course I’m going to be sad. I miss him already, he was sweet… got me flowers and shared his pudding with me… not to mention he’s bloody gorgeous and a brilliant snog.” 

Lily snickered, her laugh so sudden that it caused her to make a snorting sound, much like a pig, when she scrunched up her nose. Mary finds it delightful when Lily laughs like that, it’s absolutely hilarious. Across the room, on her bed, Marlene did not make a sound. 

“Never mind that though, those things can’t last forever.” Mary shrugged again, sitting the bunny down on the blanket beside her, looking up at the girls again. “I’m glad it’s over, actually. Better now than later, less drama that way. Plus, it’s nice to know that he cried a bit.” 

“Sirius cried?” Lily asked, her mouth a little slack, “Hmm, maybe he’s not as much of a gorgeous prick as I thought.” 

“No.” Mary laughed, “Believe it or not, the boy's got a heart. He is lovely, Lily. He’s just not the one, you know?”

“God, none of them ever are.” Lily groaned, tipping her head back over the chair, “All the boys here suck. All of them, every single one of them, all stupid gits… annoyingly attractive gits, but gits.” 

Mary snickered, lifting a ringed hand to cover her mouth, “Too right, Lily… you wouldn’t happen to be talking about anyone in specifics, would you? Perhaps… one of Sirius’ stupid friend-”

“Absolutely not.” Lily said, turning bright red, “No, I’m not talking about James-”

“I never said his name, Lily.” Mary teased. 

Lily went silent, her cheeks redder than her hair as she stared up at the roof. All that could be heard in the room for a short while were Mary’s quiet giggles that she tried to stifle behind her hand. 

“Shit.” Lily said eventually, “Don’t you dare say anything.” 

“I wasn’t planning on it.” Mary grinned, holding her hands up on either side of her head. 

Lily flipped her off before smiling and turning her head to face Mary again, eyes wide with anticipation, “Okay, so, Sirius isn’t the one, sure… but there's got to be another reason, right? What pushed you to end it now, rather than when you just stopped having feelings for eachother?” 

“Well…” Mary smiled softly, her cheeks going red, “You know, Sirius is falling for someone else, so it’s better to let him explore that then stress himself out with me. And, uhm. There's… someone else.” 

“Someone else?” Marlene asked, the first sound she had made since Mary entered the room. Though her face still remained the same, eyes wide with shock and worry. 

Mary cleared her throat, “Yes. Though, I will not be elaborating.” 

“Boo!” Lily poked her tongue out, “Come on, you’ve got to tell us.” 

“Absolutely not.” Mary shook her head, stern and sure, “It’s pointless, so… I’d rather just let it run its course, okay?” 

Lily huffed and turned back to the vanity, fixing up her braid where it got messy at the end, “You’re boring.” She shrugged, “I am sorry, though, Mary. I’m here for you.”

“Yeah, thanks, Lils.” Mary smiled softly at her reflection. She turned her attention then to Marlene, the two of them staring at each other for a moment, “Well, are you going to say anything? Gloat about how right you were? Dance about how happy you are that it’s over?” 

Across the room, on her bed, Marlene paled. 

The first moment Mary confessed she had a small crush on Sirius Black in the beginning of fifth year, Marlene had an issue with it. Mary remembered the way her best friend pulled a strange face, scrunching up her nose to ask “Black? Ugh, why? He’s so vain.” 

She protested every time Mary thought about making a move, pulled strange faces every time she called him cute, and countered every dreamy comment Mary made about him with her own distasteful one. And when something finally happened between them, just three and a half months ago, Marlene got worse. 

It was the first Hogsmeade weekend for sixth year, and after a boring potions lesson when Mary and the girls were packing up their things, the boys were all shoving a pink cheeked Sirius forward with words of reassurance and laughter. He asked her out to The Three Broomsticks, pulled a small bunch of hand picked flowers from his pocket, and kissed her on the cheek, and Mary naturally said yes. 

The entire rest of the day she had to put up with Marlene's yapping, unkind words about the boy she had just started to date. She even went so far as to interrupt their date, as they were giggling together in a quiet booth in the pub, Sirius’ arm around her shoulders as he nosed at her cheek.. Right as they were about to kiss, Marlene came barreling over and sat herself across from them, striking up an awfully boring conversation about broom polish and a new style of quaffle that just dropped, Lily chasing after in protest. 

It drove a wedge between them quite quickly, the pair always at each other's throats. 

If any of Mary’s friends had ever suggested she stopped having an interest in a boy, she’s always listened. Isn’t it the first rule of girl code that you trust your fellow females' judgement? Besides, friends always come first. 

However, Marlene never really gave a good, valid reason as to why Sirius was such a bad match for Mary. It was always yaps about his overconfidence, or vanity, or all the stupid pranks he’d pull, or anything else about boys in general she could come up with. Which would have been understandable, if she hadn’t been so cool with Lily’s miniature crush on Remus a few years back, or so encouraging towards her now clear feelings for James; who, in Mary’s opinion, is much more arrogant and overconfident than Sirius. 

Besides, Sirius wasn’t even that vain. Yes, he knew he had good looks, and yes, sometimes he used them to his advantage (see; flirting to get his way so the Marauders could efficiently prank), but he wasn’t awful about it. The first time Mary ever called him gorgeous he turned bright red and couldn’t fully form a sentence for three whole minutes he was so flustered. 

Not only that, but Marlene and Sirius were actually quite good mates before Mary started dating him. They were practically best friends, getting up to mischief together and pulling James’ leg during quidditch practices. So why Marlene had such a problem with it remains an utter mystery to Mary. 

That’s why she didn’t listen. 

And Lily thought they were wonderful together, as did all of the Gryffindor (and Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw, and even some Slytherin) girls who didn’t have a weird infatuation with Sirius and wanted him to themselves. So it really was just Marlene and her own issues that she was too stuck up about to disclose to Mary. 

For a while there, Mary thought she was jealous. Marlene had never really expressed an interest in boys. When they were younger, she found it appalling when Lily and Mary talked about the cute boys in their classes. As they grew a little, she became more accustomed to it, and joined in on their discussions, but never expressed her own attraction to them. So the thought of Marlene having a crush on Sirius was a far away thought, that only occurred to Mary one afternoon about three weeks ago. 

The girls had gotten all rugged up in their coats and scarves and mittens to go for a walk around the grounds when they bumped into Sirius outside by the old willow tree. He’d been setting up something for a prank, but finished up by the time the girls had reached him, so naturally, Mary invited him along. 

It was only when Mary took her hand out of his to wrap half of her scarf around his neck, and slip one of her mittens onto one of his cold hands, that Marlene had had enough. 

She stopped in the middle of their path, staring at the couple for a moment before expressing that “this is fucking stupid” before storming off in a huff of teary eyed anger. 

She’d never said anything in front of Sirius before, and she’d certainly never thrown a tantrum like that. It took Lily shyly suggesting Marlene may have gotten jealous before chasing after her, did Mary actually consider it. 

She felt awful. Going off and dating the boy her best friend liked, holding his hands and snogging him right in front of her. Oh, she felt so guilty about it, so terribly awful. She talked with Sirius quickly, which he felt very embarrassed about, before running off to find Marlene herself. 

She didn’t find her in the end. However Sirius did. And when Sirius and Mary bumped into each other again just two hours later, he told her they had a little chat about it. He told Mary that Marlene very explicitly, and very angrily, expressed she had absolutely no interest in Sirius whatsoever, never has and never would. And she most certainly wasn’t jealous of Mary. 

When Mary tried to talk to her about it that evening, Marlene didn’t allow it. She shut down and closed her bed curtains and didn’t talk to Mary for three days. 

So Mary remains miffed. 

She very wisely did not mention that the real reason she broke up with Sirius was because of Marlene. 

One; she knew it would just end in an argument if she brought that up. 

Two; Marlene would probably end up on a high horse about it and give Mary another headache. 

Three; That someone else that snuck their way into the equation… Well, that’s Marlene. 

Through their kind of falling out, Mary realised she missed Marlene more than she thought she would. It felt horrible to have her best friend ignore her, chastising her relationship and throwing silent tantrums whenever Sirius took away her attention. 

She was plagued with thoughts of Marlene on the constant, and started to wonder if Sirius really was that right for her after all. She came to one simple conclusion whilst laying in his lap one afternoon after Marlene had strolled into the common room, seen them, rolled her eyes and abruptly left; Sirius is lovely, but he’s never going to be Marlene. 

Honestly, the reason why Mary had clung onto Sirius for so long was out of sheer spite. 

The way her and Marlene have always worked was a neat push and pull. 

Marlene isn’t really like many other girls Mary knows. She’s messy, and loud, confident, snarky. She’s a little rough around the edges, has never cared about her looks for even one day in her life, all she wants to do is fly, and race, and play, and fight and help those in need of it. She’s never given a shit about anyone's opinions, and in first year, when some Slytherin girls told her she was ugly and dressed like a boy, she stepped on their toes and spat in their faces and threw out the only dress she ever owned. 

To Mary, who grew up in a house where eyebrow plucking and lipstick and cute dresses were shoved on her from a young age, and a village where a woman's beauty was respected and expected, and a world where the only way she’d ever dream of getting her smart foot in the door was if she dressed the pretty part, Marlene was everything. 

With Marlene, she could let go. She could wear baggy trousers around the dorm and look over to see her friend in similar ones, she could go an entire day without makeup knowing Marlene wouldn’t look at her any different for it. With Marlene she could run, and she could laugh, and she could scream, and she could play rough. 

They’d argue and throw pillows at each other and chase one another around the dorm until they’d collapse in a heap and laugh together. They’d wrestle over who got to read their new magazine first and end up curled up and reading it together. 

They’d argue about silly things, both so stupidly stubborn so it would escalate quickly. Mary would call her a slag, and Marlene would call Mary slut, and by the end of the evening they’d be brushing each other's hair and complaining about homework together as if nothing had even happened. 

Lately, it’s been all fight and no makeup. And Mary misses it. 

She realised that she only ever started so many arguments so they could make up. Because sure, when they’re kind to each other it’s nice enough. But when they fight, chase and wrestle, Mary can get close to her. She can get up in Marlene's space and touch her, feel her pale skin against the palm of her hand, the soft prick of her leg hair against fingertips, the hot breath that followed her brilliant laughter across her own cheeks. 

When they make up, Mary gets to sit there and brush Marlene's hair whilst she narrates a celebrity magazine with extra commentary; Mary can run her fingers through the messy blonde locks and feel Marelene melt under the touch, and she can listen to the comfortable song of her voice and laugh at her stupid opinions about whatever scandal occurs that week and let it calm her. 

When they Make up, Mary gets to lay her head on Marlene's shoulder whilst they read together, listening to the steady in and out of her breath, and if the position’s right, her heartbeat. She can let Marlene twist her fingers around the ends of Mary’s springy curls, or even scratch them up against her scalp; she can be wrapped under Marlene's arm and lay there for as long as she pleases. Too many times they’ve fallen asleep like that. 

When they make up, Mary gets to lay in bed with her, looking into her crystal blue eyes in the dark, admiring the shimmer reflected in them from the light at the end of her wand. She gets to listen to Marlene's soft whispers of “Sorry, you’re my best friend, I don’t really think you’re a slut. I know the rumours aren’t true and wouldn’t even care if they were. Really, Mary, I love you, I’m such a git”, and feel her warm breath on her face, and inhale the comforting scent of Marlene's coconut shampoo and the remnants of her woody perfume. She gets to hold Marlene's hand, calloused and rough from years of quidditch and getting up to no good, and giggle with her, and lock their ankles together beneath the covers. 

And it took Mary losing that, for what felt like for good, to realise how much she needed it. 

She needs Marlene. 

Though all of their nasty, through all of their dirty, through all of their horrible, Mary needs her. She needs her like she needs air. 

She’s in love with her best friend, and she’s very nearly lost her. Over a boy. 

Marlene didn’t say anything, she just slowly shut her bed curtains and didn’t come out all evening. 

It was stupid of Mary to expect a fight anyway, they hadn’t fought in weeks. They just glare at each other, almost bursting into tears without any words shared between them, and walk away. 

She’s so stupid for thinking they could just fight and makeup now. So fucking stupid. 

☆ ★ ☆

“That’s it.” Mary said, shoving her book bag down on the end of her bed, storming into the centre of the room, Marlene trailing behind with a scoff. 

“Oh, what ails Mary Almighty now?” Marlene rolled her eyes, taking off her own satchal and dropping it on the ground, “What gorgeous, dick having man has fucked and rejected you this week?” 

“Marlene.” Lily scolded, sitting down on the end of her bed. She rubs her temples, already gaining a headache from their arguing. The first real argument they’ve had in months. 

“What?” Marlene scoffed, “Am I wrong? Have you not sucked your way to heartbreak-”

“Marlene!” Lily said again, her eyes stern as she glared at her friend, “Enough with the slutshaming.” 

“Tell Mary to stop being such a whore-”

“I’m sorry, do I make you jealous?” Mary asked, cocking her head. Marlene's words sting, but only on the surface. She knows that Marlene knows all those rumours that get around about Mary aren't true. That she’s only really been on a handful of dates at most and only ever slept with Sirius. But still, your best friend, forward slash current biggest enemy, forward slash the girl you’ve accidentally been in love with for years calling you a whore isn’t the tastiest pill to swallow. “I’m sorry men don’t take an interest in you, Marlene. Perhaps if you’d just put on a dress-”

“Oh, stop.” Marlene sassed, “I don’t want to fucking talk about it-”

“Well, I do.” Mary pressed. 

“We are not talking about the lack of men interested in me-”

“No, I want to talk about us.” 

Marlene went a little white, staring at Mary across the room for a moment. The silence stretched, tension so thick you could slice it with a knife. Mary held her ground, eyes locked on the other girl with ferocious need. She wasn’t losing this. She needed a fight, so they were going to fight. 

Soon enough they’d have to make up. 

Hopefully. 

Marlene scoffed, rolling her eyes as she turned away, losing that little battle. Mary internally celebrates, knowing things are going her way, finally. Perhaps they might really get somewhere, if Marlene is willing to listen. 

Marlene loosens the tie around her neck before shrugging off her robes, tossing them messily onto her bed. Mary has an itch to go over and tidy her corner of the room, as she always used to help Marlene to do. But since their silence, Mary hasn’t helped once, and it really shows with the pile of dirty laundry peeking out from under her bed. 

Mary doesn’t remove her robes, liking the feel of the thick fabric on her arms. It’s grounding, something else to grab onto instead of digging the sharp of her nails into her palms. 

“Go on then.” Marlene says, sticking her hands sharply into the pockets of her trousers, shoulders tight around her neck as she wobbles on her heels and toes. “Talk. Tell me what tragedies have befallen us, McDonald-”

“Don’t call me by my last name, McKinnon.” Mary sneered back at her, folding her arms over her chest, “And you know exactly what I want to talk about-”

“Well, I’m not really interested, so-”

“Well, I don’t really care.” Mary said, glaring at her again with her eyebrows raised. Marlene gave her an icy look in return, her face petulant, like a child. “I’ve had enough of… whatever the fuck is going on, and I wan’t to talk about it. I’m sick of you ignoring me, Marlne-”

“As if you’re so innocent.” Marlene fired back, “The whole time you were with him you ignored everything I said. What happened to trusting your friends, hmm? I told you he was bad news-”

“And he wasn’t.” Mary retorted, “Nothing bad about him, Marlene. You used to act as if the sun shone out of his arse, half the time, before we got together. So what is it, hmm? What pissed you off so much about Sirius and my relationship?”

“Well, you said it yourself. He wasn’t the one. There’s someone else.” She groaned, spitting out the last part in a childish tone, wiggling her head to make fun. 

“Obviously he wasn’t the one, Marlene.” Mary huffed, “He was my second boyfriend! I’m sixteen! That doesn’t mean we can’t date at all.”

“Yeah, well, I was trying to save you from heartbreak.” Marlene huffed. 

“Well it didn’t work.” Mary said, her voice tight as she looked at the girl she loved. She looks so tired, big bags under her diamond eyes, her hair a mess from running her hands through it all day in stress. “You broke my heart, Marlene. You broke it the moment you turned against me and didn’t give me one good reason why.”

Marlene's expression drops, looking up at Mary with widened eyes. Her mouth gapes slightly, moving just a little, as if she wants to say something, but no words find their way out. 

“What? You don’t like that?” Mary shakes her head in disbelief, “You don’t like the fact that the real reason I ended my relationship with Sirius is because I was sick of my best friend icing me out and getting upset over nothing? Is it so horrible to ask you to be happy for me? It feels awful, every day, to look at you and feel disgusted with myself for something I didn’t even do! I just wanted my fucking friend back, and two months have passed, Marlene, and you still fucking hate me!”

“One month.” Marlene muttered under her breath, the words slipping out of her lips as if she was desperate to say them, “It’s been one month… twelve days.” 

Mary looked at her for a moment, unbelieving the words that had just left Marlene's mouth. She laughs, stressed, on the brink of tears as she brings her hands to her face and tugs at her hair, “Fucks sake, Marlene. Not the point!” 

Marlene doesn’t say anything. She just stares at Mary, her head dipped, big wet eyes tracking Mary as she paces the room. 

“What is it?” Mary begs, stopping and waving her hand out at Marlene, “Just tell me. Tell me what I’ve done that’s so bloody awful that you hate me! I don’t care anymore, Marlene. I just want to know! I want to know, I want to fix this… I miss you. Every day, I miss you, so please, for the love of Merlin, just tell me.” 

“I don’t want to tell you.” Marlene confesses, and for the first time in months, Mary feels like she’s finally got something. 

“Why not?” Mary asks. 

“Because I feel awful about it.” 

“I feel awful.” Mary tried, “I feel awful for even knowing Sirius, half the time. Why was it so wrong for me to be with him… to- to like him?” 

Marlene closes her eyes and breathes. One deep breath in, and out, followed by another, and one more. Mary watches as she regulates herself, clearly fighting off tears as she clenches her fists at her sides, in the way she does, acting so stoic. 

“It wasn’t wrong.” She eventually mutters, so quiet Mary barely hears it. But she does, because she listens. She listens so closely she even hears the tiny sob that rips its way from Marlene's throat before she snubs it with a cough. 

Mary watches her, tilts her head to the side and takes in her sunken expression, “What’s your problem, then, Marlene? I’ve sorted through all of the options and I’ve come up dry.” She waves her arms out in stress, “I’m clueless. Absolutely fucking clueless. What have I done that is so awful to you?”

“Nothing.” Marlene says, a quick response followed by desperate eyes; aching with a genuinity Mary quickly finds, “You’ve done absolutely nothing. You’re- this isn’t about you. It’s me. I’m- I’ve done this to myself. It’s… I’ve been so scared, okay? Bloody terrified, so I… I shut you out, made everything worse. And it’s awful, isn’t it? It feels so awful. I’ve got this ache in my stomach that won’t go away, rotten with guilt, and I just keep making it worse.” Marlene clutches at her stomach, nimble fingers twisting in the white cotton of her dress shirt. 

Mary feels her anger, that violent desperation inside of her, begin to dissipate. The desire to rip Marlene's head off and go fishing around her brain for answers no longer lingers, and instead, it fades to a helpless sympathy. She wants to reach out and stitch the broken pieces of Marlene back together, to wipe her eyes with the gentle pads of her thumbs and kiss her. 

“What’s got you feeling so helpless, Marlie?” Mary asks, voice gentle like silk, the familiar nickname falling off of her tongue with ease, as if they've already made up and all is well again. 

Marlene sobs again, around a saddened laugh, and a few tears slip past her summer eyes. Mary truly does love Marlene's eyes, gentle and gorgeous. She could stare into them for hours, endlessly just admiring the infinite beauty within. She loves them when they’re happy, and she loves them when they’re scared, and she loves them when they’re gentle, and she loves them when they cry. 

She shakes her head no, the too long ends of her fringe slipping into her eyes, but she doesn’t brush them away. Mary wants too. If they weren’t fighting, she would. 

“Tell her, Marlene.” Lily whispers from her spot on the bed. Mary’s frightened by the suddenness of her voice, she’d forgotten Lily was even in the room with them, the world narrowed down to her and the girl she loves. 

Marlene shakes her head again, giving Lily a desperate look,; one that begs for rescue. 

Lily stands up and walks over to her, brushing the ends of Marlene's fringe from her eyes, using her sleeve to dab at the tears on her lightly freckled cheeks, and Mary envies her. Just for a moment, she hates Lily for getting to touch Marlene like that, to care for her, to be gentle with her. 

Marlene was never gentle, but with Mary, she learned how to be. It’s not fair that she finds it with Lily now too. Mary wants to keep that all to herself, to hide it away in the dark like a filthy secret. She wants to have the gentle caress of Marlene all to herself, to be the only one to touch her tears, the only one to sooth her anguish. 

Jealousy rips through her like a flood, threatening to destroy everything in its path. All this build up, all this silence, and Mary doesn’t know how much longer she can keep it under wraps. 

“Don’t be scared, Marlene.” Lily smiles softly, taking Marlene's shaky hand to sooth, “Tell her. Let it off your chest. You’ll feel better. Besides, it may not end so terribly, you’ll get through it. I’m here to help you through it.” 

“I’m scared, Lily.” Marlene whispered, “I don’t want to lose her. She’s my best friend.” 

“You won’t. I’ll make sure of it.” Lily promises, giving her hand a tight squeeze, “Tell her.” She nods before taking her leave. 

It’s just the two of them, alone together in their big empty dorm room. 

“Tell me, Marlene.” Mary whispers, too frightened of something bad happening if she spoke much louder. Her heart raced in her chest, beating so fast she could hear her blood pumping in her ears. 

Marlene huffed, taking a moment to catch her breath and very pointedly not looking at Mary. It’s infuriating; to still be avoided when they’re standing right across from one another. They’re the only two in the room, trying to make up, and Marlene is still ignoring her. 

Mary could kill her!

“Look at me-”

“I don’t want to look at you.” Marlene snapped back. 

“Look-”

“No.” 

“Marlene-”

“I’ll cry!” Marlene spat out, looking down at the ground, “Bloody hell, I’m pathetic… I’ll cry, Mary. Please don’t look at me, I’m trying to find the words, okay? Give me a moment.”

Mary sighed and nodded her head, making a show of turning around to face the wall, rather than Marlene, no matter how infuriating. Turned away, she already misses the sight of her; in her grass stained trousers, her wrinkled button up that she never tucks in properly, shaggy hair, her looser than usual tie, the boys shoes she wears for comfort, the silver band she always wears around her thumb. 

She’s a walking contrast to Mary, who’s always neat and tidy, who tucks her shirt into her skirt with precision, her hair always neatly done, her tie always tight to her collar, Mary-Janes with cute frilly socks or stockings depending on the weather, and the array of dainty gold jewellery she changes most days. 

Mary’s obsessed with her. 

“You were right…” Marlene mutters, her voice strained. She’s clearly willing herself not to break down into tears, and Mary feels her stomach ache with empathy for the girl. She wants to turn and run and pull Marlene into her arms, to cradle her and stroke her hair and make it all better. 

But she knows better. She’s not stupid. That’s not how this is going to work. So she stands there, facing the wall, and listens to Marlene talk. 

“I was jealous.” She sniffled, “I was so… so fucking jealous.”

“Marlene-” Mary feels her heart crack, that horrible guilt sinking back in. She’s an awful friend, she knows it now; how she went so long without seeing the vibrant truth right in front of her. So what Marlene hardly expressed her interest in boys, maybe she’s just shy about them? So what Marlene denied being jealous when she was asked, she’s obviously not going to tell her best friend's boyfriend she’s into him. 

It’s worse now though, because Mary knows she’s in love with Marlene. She’s so painfully in love with Marlene that the confession stabs her right in the heart and drags until it bleeds. 

She’s just fucked everything up, hasn’t she? 

“I’m- I’m so sorry.” She choked out, “I didn’t-”

“No.” Marlene presses, sniffling. Mary can hear her shuffling around, no doubt twitching in her spot. She does that when she’s anxious, hops from foot to foot, tries to balance on one leg before she wobbles and puts it down. It’s strange, she’s so strange, and Mary loves her all the more for it. She loves her, but she can never have. “You just… you listen to me, okay?”

“Okay.” Mary muttered, voice meek and broken. She’s trying her absolute best to not let Marlene hear her cry. 

“Sirius and I were best mates- he’s… he was the first bloke who ever treated me as an equal, and not just some girl who wanted attention. When we both went up for beater on the quidditch team, he shook my hand and played against me with ruthless precision, and cheered for me when I hit the bludger harder than any of the other blokes there, and called me brilliant right before going to convince the captain to let me on the team.” She took a deep breath in, “He always pulled me into conversations with the team that I often felt left out of, being the only girl. I knew how he thought, I knew his type, and I knew how the entire bloody quidditch team felt about mesmerising Mary Mcdonald. They’d all ask me about you, what the best way to your heart was, how interested I thought you’d be in them, whether you’re interested in hookups or dating. So the moment you told me you liked him, my heart fucking broke, because I knew he thought you were gorgeous. I knew if you expressed any interest in him, he’d fucking pounce. And he did.” 

Mary swallowed the lump in her throat, wiping her tears on the sleeve of her shoulder. Behind her, she heard the bed creak under Marlene's weight. She sniffled and breathed, finding her next words. 

“I told him not to, you know? I said it would be a bad idea- that it would fuck everything up. But he didn’t listen, the arrogant bastard. No doubt James’ doing, the romantic that he is. You know, I thought he’d come yell at me, after that first date of yours, after you and I fought about it. But you didn’t tell him. You didn’t tell him how much of a cunt I was being to you, and he had absolutely no idea why I stopped talking to him.” Marlene sighed and stood up again, her feet pattering on the hardwood floors, “You broke my heart, Mary… being with him. I’m in love, and it fucking hurts.” 

Mary bit down on her lip and ignored the ache in her chest, her heart cut in two by the jagged knife, wielded by Marlene's tongue, “I’m so sorry, Marlie… I- I had no idea-”

“I know you didn’t. You weren’t supposed to ever know, Mary.” Marlene said, shuffling closer, “You’re not supposed to find out. But I just… I’ve never been good at handling my emotions, and you know I get so hot headed. I’m sorry for the way I acted, it’s unforgivable, and childish, and stupid, and I have no excuse. I just- I… it hurts, Mary… have you ever been in love?” 

Mary nodded, looking forward at the poster of a muggle heartthrob hanging on the wall that her and Lily hung up together with giggles in their throats. She thought she was in love with him when she was thirteen, but of course it wasn’t love, it was just obsession. 

But this… the way she feels about Marlene, that’s beyond obsession. It’s carnal desire, dripping poison. It aches and it stings and it pulls at her until there's nothing left. It’s love, love she feels so deeply, love she didn’t know she needed until it was too late. Much too late. She’ll never get it back. 

“Were you in love with him?” Marlene asked, “Sirius?” 

“I don’t know.” Mary sobbed, “I don’t know… but I have felt love, Marlene. I know how much it hurts. I know… I know.”

Behind her, Marlene took a deep breath, “You know how much it controls you then? The pain?”

“Yes.” Mary nodded, “It makes you feel fucking crazy.” 

Marlene sniffled, “Oh, you were never meant to know, Mary. This ruins everything.” 

“It doesn’t.” Mary sobbed, her hand coming up to cover her mouth as she couldn’t contain it anymore. Everything aches, “It doesn’t, I promise. You can… Marlene, if you love him, you should tell-”

Marlene snickered, shuffling closer, pressing her forehead to the back of Mary's head, “I don’t love him, Mary.” She whispered, pressing closer, their bodies so close that Mary can feel the warmth radiating off her. Marlene took a deep inhale, burying her face in Mary’s curls before she let out a broken sob, “It’s not him I love, sweetheart.” 

Mary freezes. 

Her body goes rigid, tight and stiff, her seemingly endless stream of tears coming to a screeching halt. She feels Marlene let out a heavy breath, the warmth heating the back of her neck. She can sense Marlene struggling, knows her hands are clenching and unclenching at her sides, debating whether or not to reach out and touch. 

But Mary is quite simply frozen. Even the two halves of a heart in her chest had stopped still for a moment. It all clicks into place, once a simple answer to this impossible equation; Marlene is in love with Mary, just as Mary’s in love with Marlene. 

And all it took to get here were two broken hearts and a five month long fight. 

And where is “here” anyway? The hollow dormroom they stand in? In this bubble with Marlene pressed to her back, wondering if she can risk pressing closer? On this bridge between broken hearts they’ve slowly begun to build? Or is it in the stitchings of Mary’s heart as it mends itself back together in her chest? Because Marlene loves her, she’s in love with her, just as Mary is. 

“Here”, wherever it is, is the only place Mary ever wants to be. 

All this wanting created all this fighting, and now all this fighting means a whole lot of making up. 

Mary thinks this makeup is going to be her favourite makeup of all. 

“You’re in love with me?” Mary whispered, pure awe dripping from her voice as she reached back to grab Marlene's hands. 

Marlene tenses, her hands stiff in place, reluctant to let Mary move her, “Yes?” 

“Well, are you certain, or not?” Mary asked, turning her head slightly to look back at the other girl. They locked eyes for a moment, and Mary lifted an eyebrow in mock curiosity, “Because if you’re not completely sure, then you’ve got a really shitty reason to go and fuck everything up.” 

“I’m sure.” Marlene muttered, her crystal eyes locked onto Mary’s, “I’m… I love you- fuck, that’s… I never thought I’d say that to you. Romantically. I never thought I'd confess.” 

“Why not?” Mary asked, gently rubbing her thumb over the back of Marlene's palm. 

“Because…” Marlene furrowed her brow, a sad smile creeping onto her face, “I’m not stupid, Mary. You like boys- and even if you didn’t, even if you somehow managed to be the only other queer in this bloody school, the chance of you loving me? I know it would never happen. I thought I made peace with that, but… Sirius mucked it all up.” 

Mary gave her a small smile, “Sirius is a mess like that.” 

Marlene nodded. 

“You know… you’re not the only queer. They’re everywhere.” 

Marlene snickered, “Yeah, sure. Old McGonagall’s a lesbian, is she? Grading papers by day, minge licking by night?” 

Mary furrowed her brow, “Marlie… McGonagall is a lesbian.”

“No she’s not.” Marlene said with a smile. Mary watched as it slowly faded, “No she’s not.” 

“Why do you think she has that photo frame of her and Madame Pomfrey hugging on her desk- what do you think their five o’clock undisturbed tea times every evening are?” 

“What?” Marlene gasped, “She’s not- don’t joke with me, Mary-”

“I’m surprised you don’t know this- it’s common gossip, Marls. Ask anyone.” 

“Bloody hell.” Marlene said, swiping a hand through her hair, “Is that why she sat me down and said she sees herself in me- oh Merlin, that conversation makes so much more sense now.”

“Marlene!” Mary laughed, spinning around to face her, “Did McGonagall talk to you about her experience as a lesbian without you… picking up on the fact that she’s a lesbian?” 

“Apparently!” Marlene gasped, running her strong hands over her face, “Oh, that’s awful- I’ve got to talk to her. I was so weird.” 

“You git.” Mary snickered, “Trust you to miss a massive sign like that.” 

“Yeah, I would, wouldn’t I?” Marlene sighed. 

“I- uhm… I don’t know how you feel about Sirius at the moment, Marlene, but… if you find yourself being friends again, maybe… you know… keep your eyes open for sign-”

“Sirius?” Marlene gasped, taking a step back, “But you two- he likes girls…. He-”

“You can like both, you know.” Mary said, setting her hands on her hips as she gave Marlene a stern glare, looking down at her, since just a smidgen taller, “You know Bowie? The one Remus is so obsessed with? He likes both, it’s called bisexual.” 

“Oh.” Marlene said, furrowing her brow as she looked to the ground. 

“Point is… I don’t think Sirius knows that Sirius is bisexual yet, but, uhm… you know, he talked an awful lot about one of his very male friends. And a lot of those conversations consisted of language like handsome, and brilliant, and hot.”

“Oh.” Marlene sighed, “You know, come to think of it, he’s said a lot of similar things about the blokes on the quidditch team. I always assumed he was trying to talk them up for me, and doing a very bad job at it…” 

“Poor thing.” Mary sighed, dropping her hands from her hips, “Anyway, you’re not alone, Marlene. Never have been.” 

Marlene nodded, the mood suddenly sombre again. She fiddled with her thumb ring, “You… you don’t hate me?” 

“Why would I hate you? You’re my best friend. I love you through everything, just as Lily does. You know this.” Mary said, smiling kindly at the beautiful mess she fell in love with. 

“Because I’m a lesbian.” Marlene shrugged, “I thought…”

“Well, I don’t hate you.” Mary said quietly, “Never could.” 

Marlene nodded, “And I’m in love with you.” 

“How’s that any reason to hate you?” 

“Because I’m creepy.” Marlene said, eyes wide as she looked at Mary, “I’m… weird. I start fights with you just so we can make up and be close to one another.” 

Mary closed her eyes, trying to fight off the most radiant smile she’d ever found herself smiling. It’s embarrassing, really, how smitten she is right at this moment. 

They’re hopeless. 

Terribly fucking hopeless, both desperately clinging to one another, trying to get all that they can. Savouring every moment shared together, clinging, begging for just a little bit more. 

Things don’t feel so hopeless anymore. 

“Just so you'll… you’ll brush my hair and run your lovely hands through it.” Marlene whispered, gently taking Mary by the hands, brushing her calloused thumbs over the soft skin of her knuckles. “So that you might lay on my chest, so I can breathe in the smell of you, and play with the ends of your hair- how do you get it so soft, Mary? It’s so soft.” 

“Because I look after it.” Mary said with a mocking smile. 

Marlene rolled her eyes, a small smile curling up the ends of her pink lips. They’re a little chapped, as they usually are. Mary had gotten into the habit of handing Marlene her lipbalm everytime she happened to reapply, but months apart, she’s clearly severely been lacking in it. 

Mary reached into her pocket and pulled the lipbalm out, handing it over to Marlene with a huff. 

Marlene rolled her eyes and applied it, smacking her lips together, “Hmm, berry?”

“Gooseberry pie.” Mary offered, “It’s new.” 

“It’s nice.” Marlene gave a shy smile, handing the lipbalm back, “Missed your lip balm… yet another reason I’m a creep. I don’t understand why you’re not mad.” 

“Marlene…” Mary took her hands gently again, “Why would I be mad at someone for being in love with me?”

Marlene rolled her eyes and grumbled, shaking their joined hands in frustration, “Because I’m a weirdo who only puts your lip balm on so I might know what it tastes like to kiss you.” 

“Does it taste nice enough to kiss?” Mary asked, blinking her eyes up at Marlene as she made herself small. 

“Obviously.” Marlene sighed, bowing her head in shame, “I want to kiss you all the time, Mary. I’m just… awful- why’d you give that to me? I was getting used to not knowing.” 

Mary smiled, shuffling a little closer, “So your lips wouldn’t be all gross and dry when I kiss you.” 

“Yeah, righ-” Marlene gasped, the breath seemingly punched from her lungs when Mary pressed their lips together, “Mary!” 

Mary pulled back, holding Marlene's hands tight down by their sides, “Marlene?”

“Don’t…” Marlene muttered, “Don’t fuck with me.” 

“I’m not fucking with you, Marlie.” Mary whispered, leaning in to brush their noses together again, “You’re the entire fucking reason I broke up with him. Your… infuriating attitude and absence in my life made me realise how much I miss you- how much I need you. I missed our fights, because I missed making up too. I realised I used to start fights, just to get close to you after. I love you, Marlene. I mean it.”

“Double swear it?” Marlene asked, her voice breathless and awe struck. 

“Triple.” Mary muttered, “I swear it on Lily’s life.” 

“Fuck.” She whispered, dropping Mary’s hands to grab her by the face and tug. 

Mary had never had a kiss to earth-shatteringly magnificent. This kiss has nothing on the movies. Marlene holds her tight in her grasp, like a treasure she’s terrified of dropping. She’s pressed so close that the only thing Mary can feel is Marlene, she’s all she knows at this moment. She kisses hard, and desperate, with teeth and tongue and bite. It’s rough and ruthless and so fucking perfect, far beyond anything Mary had ever dreamed of. 

She buries her hands in Marlene's tousled hair and tugs, pressing her body into the shape of Marlenes, slotting together as if they were made for one another. Marlene makes a needy sound into Mary’s mouth that has her legs beginning to buckle and her head spinning with want. 

They go stumbling back, collapsing down onto Marlene's bed, where they draw the curtains and don’t emerge until morning. It’s definitely Mary’s favourite way of making up now.

☆ ★ ☆

thanks for reading!! comments and reblogs are always very very appreciated and i love reading all that you have to say!

this was my firs wlw centric fic actually so im really excited to be posting it! and i promise im not projecting my own failed lesbian highschool lovestory onto it at all.

anyway, hope you enjoyed the readdddd!!

read here on ao3 :)

[lemon-natalia]

Nona the Ninth Reaction - Chapter 29

Nona just wanting to go home and go to bed is so sad, its heartbreaking to think that even though the overall situation they were in wasn’t great, she and Pyrrha and Cam & Pal are probably never going to have that kind of small domestic happiness together again

and Noodle is still okay!! thats one bit of good news at least. i was going to say that bringing the dog along with them seems a little risky, but then again don’t think Noodle will be much safer left on-planet with BoE either

okay, Aim’s talking about how she, and her name, are one part of some kind of message? i’m guessing thats possibly related to the implant she and Palamedes were discussing back in the school. two major questions here then: why did Palamedes want to know about it (unless that was implied somewhere and i didn't notice), and who is the other BoE member that finishes the message?

i wonder it’s somehow related to/similar to the message that Cassiopeia left for the Sixth telling them to leave the Houses ... welp it wouldn’t be a Locked Tomb book without some kind of horrifically cryptic statement that will make absolutely no sense until the next one comes out

Pash’s attempt at making a joke is kind of endearing, in an ever so slightly pathetic way

BoE members not in the loop seeing Kiriona ‘i’m pretending to be a corpse’ Gaia walk across to a truck: i pretend i do not see it

also i can’t help but wonder what exactly Kiriona thinks of the whole Camilla and Palamedes becoming one person thing. especially since she and Harrow are separated right now

ngl this is a pretty bad reunion of most of the surviving Canaan House gang, as far as reunions go. half of them are dead/reborn in some shape or form (Gid, Pal, Cam), Judith’s not really conscious from what i can tell, and Harrow’s not there at all technically. props to Coronabeth for somehow ending up being the most normal of these lot

We Suffer’s name is very accurate, she really is just having one of those days where everything is going insane huh. poor lady

woooh let’s drive across the universe after one impromptu driving lesson, this is gonna go so well 

PAUL. Paul. like yeah i get there’s probably a lot of religious symbolism going into that name but it also feels almost hilariously mundane 

i’m … also just not too sure how i feel about Paul as a general development honestly? it's not that i think it’s bad writing, it fits with two characters who have been incredibly co-dependent and love each other a great deal. it’s just more that as a more general trope/plot overall it’s not something i particularly like personally

‘U Lap’ Gideon your nickname game has vastly decreased in quality since you threw yourself on a spike. like cmon ‘Sex Cam’ was right there

yknow of all the chapters to leave on a cliffhanger mid-sentence this one isn’t actually so bad

[lolathestoryteller]

This is a fun one I thought up. A jily lives Christmas AU, where young Harry thinks his mom cheating on dad with Santa(but plot twist, it’s James dressed as Santa😄)

*I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus

Underneath the mistletoe last night

She didn't see me creep

Down the stairs to have a peep

She thought that I was tucked up

In my bedroom, fast asleep*

Prompt:

“*yawn* what is those sounds? A burglar?? I should warn daddy!*

*goes quietly downstairs and peeks*

‘W what? Mummy is kissing Santa?? Daddy will be so sad! Better tell him tomorrow morning’

Hiya there Anon! Sorry for my late reply, had a busy week! Anyways, this one made me smile haha — I hope it makes you smile too! :)

Potter Manor; the following morning…

« Hey! There’s my little man! » James calls out as he sees Harry walking into the kitchen.

He pulls back the chair next to his, inviting the six year old to sit down. « Sleep well, Snitch? » he asks, gently ruffling Harry’s messy curls.

Harry looks down onto his still empty plate, not meeting James’s eyes as he says very seriously: « Daddy…I got to tell you something bad. »

James raises a suspicious brow at his son, leaning closer to him. « Something bad, huh? » he asks, not entirely sure whether it’d be actually bad or rather just cheeky.

You really never know with Harry — he is the son of a Marauder after all.

« Yeah, » Harry replies, his voice barely above a whisper, before he finally looks up to meet James’s eyes. « But I don’t want you to be sad… »

Alright, this sounds like the bad bad type then.

James scoots his chair closer to Harry’s, bending low to be on eye level with his son. « What happened, Harry? » he asks, getting genuinely worried.

Harry bites at his lower lip, in the exact same way James has seen another person do whenever she’s nervous — it makes him smile a bit despite his worry.

Seems he’s just as much his Mother’s son.

« I saw Mummy last night…I— I thought I heard a noise, so I went downstairs because what if it was a burglar…? » Harry explains with all the typical childlike imagination.

James shakes his head at his son’s cheek. « You went downstairs past bedtime? » he asks with a falsely stern tone. « Better not tell Mummy that. »

« No, but Dad, I saw Mummy kissing Santa last night! » Harry suddenly blurts, his green eyes wide and his little hands now grasping onto James’s forearm.

Oh, that.

Seems they haven’t been as quiet as he’d thought.

James tries his very best not to start laughing, but when in that exact moment, Lily enters the kitchen, his resolve completely melts away. « Did you? » he asks, chuckling at Harry’s incredulous expression. « Did Mummy kiss Santa? »

He meets Lily’s confused eyes, which suddenly glimmer with embarrassment. « What? » she asks, looking from James to Harry and back. « James! Why would you—»

« Seems our son saw you and Santa beneath the Mistletoe last night, Lil. » James cuts her off amusedly. « Care to explain? »

Lily’s eyes narrow in a way that tells him he’d just dug his own grave, though James thinks it might have been worth the laugh.

« Harry, Mummy did not kiss Santa. » she explains with all the patience she can muster as she crouches down in front of the six year old.

Harry crosses his arms doubtfully. « But I saw you. » he replies matter of factly, causing Lily to sigh and James to bite back another laugh. « You said you loved his beard and then you kissed him! On the lips! »

James thinks despite her serious facade, Lily’s just as amused by this as he is. He decides to finally help her out of this, rather hilarious, situation. « That wasn’t Santa, » he explains, causing Harry to look up at him confusedly. « That was just Daddy dressed up as Santa. »

James thinks he’s never seen Harry look so flabbergasted before. « Why did you dress up as Santa? » he asks as though that was the most ridiculous thing ever. « Santa’s like, way older too. » he grimaces, turning back to look at Lily, utterly confused.

She chuckles discreetly into her palm, but James only smirks — he’s definitely going to sleep on the sofa for this one. « Well, Snitch, what can I say…your Mum just has a thing for older men. »

« James Potter! »

[demonbarberofbeepbeep]

I saw Sweeney with Aaron Tveit and Sutton Foster on Sunday :3 BRAIN DUMP  WITH SPECIFIC PRODUCTION DETAILS AHEAD. DONT READ IF YOU DONT WANT TO SPOILED ON CERTAIN ACTING CHOICES THEY MAKE

First, Sutton, my surprise fav: 

Now, I had heard the Worst Pies leak from her, and I was worried. But I actually ended up loving her Nellie Lovett. 

The former cast had a younger, pretty blonde soprano style Mrs Lovett. Sutton was a little bit of a return to the classic Mrs. Lovett dynamic - an older, scatterbrained woman. Not as openly seductive and feminine as Annaleigh, but very funny and affable.  She was less sensuous, older, more desperate. Kind of a Katherine Hepburn physicality, long and slender flailing limbs. Goofy but an intense undercurrent of loneliness. She had a very gangly and bumbling physicality to her. She was taller  than Sweeney (in her heels) and that affected their dynamic in interesting ways - when she was coming on to him, it almost felt like she was trying to grapple him sometimes. She did some very funny new bits. In her entrance to Worst Pies In London, she had a carrot and she was biting pieces off it and spitting it out into the pie crust. It was a hilarious gag.  People were surprised at how wobbly her delivery was on the first night - well, it was like that on the third night too! It was pretty funny. She was obviously doing it on purpose. 

She slid off his lap in By The Sea and put her feet in his face and then started rubbing his chest and taking off his suspenders with her toes. She got a lot of mileage out of flailing her limbs in a humorous fashion. I think her comedic chops really shined here and in Little Priest.

I think her darkness was more on view here too - she had a truly evil look when she embraced Toby at the end of Not While I’m Around. And she had an interesting moment of cruelty with the Beggar Woman - when they had their confrontation, she seemed to grasp her chin or pull her hair or something in a way that caused her pain. It seemed like she was right on the edge, and totally desperate, with claws at the ready.

I have really mixed feelings about Aaron’s Sweeney. There were some things I liked about him. He does a good scowl, and when he burst onto the scene, lit from above, his eyes cast into shadow  - I felt like we were in for a convincingly demented and dark take. But unfortunately, he did not keep the intensity up the whole time. Part of this is, I think, out of his control - he’s just a very handsome and small-framed man, and he didn’t look either intimidating and beefy, like Nicholas Christopher, nor convincingly beaten down and sad eyed, like Josh Groban. I think he tried to play a more open-to-Lovett Sweeney, but once he let up the scowling and hate, I just felt like there wasn’t enough negative affect to him left. Beard or no beard, his look just screams “handsome prince“ or  “elf” or something.

The real thing I struggled with was his voice. Now, he’s obviously an amazing talent and an incredible singer, and I did enjoy seeing him. How could I not? It’s Enjolras from the Les Mis movie! So cool! But having a tenor in this role is just kinda wrong. There were moments where we needed Sweeney’s baleful booming voice to really resonate and he just didn’t deliver - in the ominous duet with Turpin, or in the crowd scene where he’s heckling Pirelli - he sounded high, weak, and reedy. There wasn’t enough power. And I know he has a beautiful voice, but having him as Sweeney didn’t really let him use it to its full advantage. Sure, he can soar into high octaves, but what good does that do us when he’s just hitting the lower notes in a nothing-special register rather than a deep rich boom? It didn’t really portray Sweeney’s madness or darkness. It’s just wasn’t right for the character.

He did make some interesting and unique choices for the character. Some things I noticed and liked: he often grabbed his chest or heart, as if in pain. He was very nimble and scrambled and leaped around the stage. This is a “quick and quiet and clean ‘e was” style Sweeney. So, to make up for the lack of deep ominous voice, I expect him to really amp up the madness. And he gave some good crazy acting for Epiphany. What he really is good at is scowling, barking laughter, scampering around. But his acting job was uneven.  His Benjamin Barker reveal, rather than being brutal, was a little bit strange - he was across the room and then ran at the judge to slash his throat. I felt very let down by the final sequence. I expected some chewing-the-scenery style screaming and moaning. He didn’t scream or cry, just kind of grimaced. “Oh no… Lucy…” Honestly, it wasn’t as sad and melodramatic from anyone as I wanted it to be.  He laughed when Toby came to kill him, which was kind of cool, but also contributed to the weird lightness of his take.

Their chemistry - they were playing it to be more fond of each other. They had moments of chemistry and acknowledging each other right out of the gate. He was surprisingly game about eating the pie, almost trying to make her feel better about it or something. Later, when he grasped her arms and asked about his wife, it seemed like there was already a spark of mutual feeling or something. This is a nicer Todd than I’ve seen. He was also pretty indulgent to her in By The Sea, grasping her knee reassuringly when he said he loved her. They did not have the crazy ass chemistry that Josh and Annaleigh had by the end of their run, which is perhaps to be expected. Again, I liked how friendly they were with each other. It worked well for Sutton’s take on Mrs. Lovett. We got to see how she jumped hungrily at any scrap of kindness he tossed her. But along with his light voice and handsome tiny man vibe, it served to make him even less menacing and foreboding, which he already didn’t have enough of IMO. So, mixed bag. 

Other notes from the night: 

Delaney was on as Johanna! She was awesome, a very fleshed out version. You could tell she had done it before. She had a lot of funny intonations in Green Finch and Linnet Bird, really pausing to consider what the birds might be doing.  “Are you discussing? 😑 Or fussing? 😩Or merely dreaming? 🙂 Are you crowing? 😧 Are you SCREAMING?? 😰”

One interesting live theater moment: In the scene where she’s trying to escape Sweeney’s parlor, I think she smashed her face getting out of the box. Her hat was off and she was holding a cloth in front of her face for some reason until she left the shop. It looked like she was bloodied, but she played it off well. I hope she’s okay! 

Joe Locke as Toby -  he had a beautiful voice, very sweet sweet younger style Toby. Much like Aaron, IMO, he did not get crazy enough with it at the end. But beautiful voice and heartbreakingly vulnerable. There were a few new cast members who were good, didn’t get their names, but I liked ‘em!

[snowfolly]

So I got to the Daylight Inn in BG3 today and I had Astarion in my squad, and as we were hanging out and chatting up Isobel after rescuing her from Marcus, I started hearing a male character singing really softly. I switch characters around to see if I can find them and BOOM I find out ot's Astarion singing softly to himself while idle. I couldn't quite make the lyrics out but he sounded a bit distant and sad...made me want to hug him again.

OH NO… little guy, that’s so cute ;A; I absolutely love this and really, really hope this triggers for me in (one of) my current pts!

I have heard audio of him humming before (and it was so flat- which is super endearing to me lol), BUT this ask made me have some big hcs and I had to write and draw some boys about it lol

-

I imagine that Astarion really, truly loves to sing, that he gets catchy tavern songs stuck in his head for days and goes about his business singing to himself. However, the other spawn would continuously tell him to never to do so in their presence because he can't hold a tune, what kind of elf can’t sing? And what in the names of all the gods did he have to sing about anyway? Besides the song of agony that Cazador made him sing…

By the time he ends up a tadfool in our favorite merry band of misfits he’s learned well not to dare let his discordant voice slip in front of other people. He has to be charming, he has to be pleasant so that they keep him around. And his song is not a pleasant one.

He can’t help himself though, he still hums and sings quietly as he strolls through the woods, when he’s reading or sewing, in times when he thinks he’s entirely by himself. But Tav, godsdamnit, Tav takes notice. 

Tav startles him one night, telling him that they recognize the tune that he’s humming and that it’s one of their favorites. Astarion’s pissed that they were listening in on him, but he’s more surprised that he isn’t shot down immediately, that he’s not met with expected snark for not being able to carry a tune in a bucket, but Tav doesn’t belittle him… which is odd.

In time Astarion still keeps his songs to himself around the rest of the party, but as he begins to trust Tav he finds himself becoming more and more relaxed with them. He realizes that he can be himself around them, well, whatever parts of himself still left to him at this point anyway.

But it was a novel concept, this acceptance, a concept he learned to greatly appreciate. And Tav seems pleased to see (and hear) him being comfortable with them, being happy. Tav cares for him.

Tav cares for him after no one had given a rats ass about him for two centuries. What a concept indeed.

So Astarion continues humming flatly and singing badly,  Tav joins him often and they belt out old folk songs or bawdy tavern numbers together on their long journey, making up colorful (and hilariously crass) new verses as they go. 

And he comes to realize that this, this time with Tav is what being close to a person is supposed to feel like.

That being put down and belittled for something that a person enjoys is not universal. 

That constantly being on guard is not normal.

That another person can actually bring him joy, and that caring for someone is... possible.

Tav says that they enjoy singing with him, that they could go on singing with him forever, that they love his song.

And would it be so bad to sing of love instead of sorrow? Would it be so bad to share his song with them for as long as time would allow? He wasn’t quite sure yet, it was all so new.

But as he walks with Tav, arm in arm, belting out a bawdy old ballad to the heavens and all unfortunate ears within a mile, he had to admit that the thought of forever was enticing.

-

Thank you so much for the ask! And sorry it took 5ever bc it inspired me to make a little Drabble and doodle :>

[glitterypin]

2024 Tumblr Top 10 (with comments by the author!)

1. 18,245 notes - Jun 24 2024 - “The Doctor In A Nutshell”: This must be my second most popular post in all the years I’ve been on Tumblr (the first one is the “David Bowie flipping a tray of cookies” screenshots from The Man Who Fell To Earth, a set of two images that made me laugh so hard for days on end some nine years ago). I don’t know why it blew up so much, tbh, especially when I see gifsets gaining a lot less attention. It baffled me but I guess tastes have changed a bit.

2. 7,234 notes - Jul 15 2024 - “The Daddy Twelve post” - A hilarious scene to which these screenshots don’t really do justice. I generally assume it’s me calling him “daddy Twelve” that got people to chuckle at this set.

3. 4,003 notes - Aug 17 2024 “The other ‘Daddy Twelve’ post” - Why waste a good idea? I still call him that in my head sometimes.

4. 2,238 notes - Oct 11 2024 - “Thirteen channels her inner Nine/Twelve” - I’ve had people in the notes commenting that this isn’t rare at all but I beg to disagree. I do believe Thirteen is much ruder and grumpier than Ten or Eleven and possibly actually angrier than Nine and Twelve but this level of snarky insult isn’t her usual mojo in my opinion. I will acquiesce that this isn’t the only instance of it, though, I’m sure it happened at least 3 or 4 more times in her run.

5. 2,071 notes - Oct 16 2024 - “Bananas Doctor Who Credits” - After posting this I noticed I had left the subtitles on, granting all screenshots a single note at the bottom, indicating the DW title theme was playing. This annoyed me but it was already getting notes, so I never got around to replacing them. I was also actually surprised it got so many notes, I thought it would be one of those things that only I found so hilarious, glad to see it wasn’t the case.

6. 868 notes - Aug 25 2024 - “The Doctor stomps on my heart” - Oh, this is actually the only post on the list that I was surprised didn’t do better. Not in a vain “give me notes” kind of way but rather in genuine curiosity. This is one of the most heartbreaking moments of foreshadowing for me in the show, it gives me so many feelings and also Twelve is so fucking pretty and sad in it, I totally expected more people to reblog this.

7. 690 notes - Jun 26 2024 - “mood” - Classic snarky Twelve, adding an insane amount of drama to what could have been a simple line. Peak comedy, peak relatability.

8. 567 notes - Sep 11 2024 - “Peter Capaldi behind the scenes of Twice Upon A Time, looking fucking AMAZING” Oh look! It’s a post that isn’t just screenshots from an episode! But it’s a good collection and our boy Peter is crazy beautiful so of course it did well. God, I love him.

9. 488 notes - Sep 25 2024 - “Twelve and Clara comedic duo” - A moment I had forgotten about and only spotted during a rewatch. I don’t think Twelve and Clara get enough credit as a comedy double act in the collective whovian subconscious. I do maintain that Ten and Donna are the most hilarious duo in the whole NuWho era but little moments like this put Twelve and Clara firmly in the second spot. (Again, the screenshots don’t really do the scene justice but you get my drift.)

10. 478 notes - Aug 2 2024 - “Twelve takes no survivors” This is an entire scene of hilarity which is super difficult to capture properly in screenshots because there is a lot of dialogue so the posts got long and also you can’t really capture the perfect timing of the deliveries and the editing. But I love it, so I wanted to put it on my blog somehow. I finally started liking Clara during this exact scene, because faced with the Doctor’s new face and brutal honesty she can no longer keep up the façade of the little miss perfect we’d seen on Eleven’s side. Flaws and anger, FINALLY. 

Created by TumblrTop10

So, yeah, this is the year when I finally watched Doctor Who and this, along with my particular hyperfixation on Peter Capaldi, made me the most popular I’ve ever been on Tumblr, probably. Amazing what being unable to shut up about something you love will turn you into.

[justallihere]

“There’s no point to a world without Violet Sorrengail” 🥹🥹🥹

Violet’s rizz should be studied because she doesn’t even try at this point. I wonder if Xaden is constantly reading intentions seeing how many people are infatuated with his wife and he’s like 🤨 that’s enough of that, you see this *flashes ring* exactly, keep it moving.

Mira and Brennan’s conversation and the hug between Vi and X gutted me 😭 her asking X to tell her he loves herrr omggggg 😭😭😭😭😭 they’re so in love

Cam and Tessa???? I AM HERE FOR THIS😍😍😍 I am a bit sad because I thought it would’ve been Liam 😂

Imogen and Garrick tag teaming Xaden and Violet is hilarious 😂😂😂 X and V, FIGHT BACK‼️‼️‼️

Mira wanting to be sent to the front lines makes a lot of sense but also heartbreaking too because she feels so uncomfy in Aretia. I hope she doesn’t get hurt or anything 😭

I am an absolute slut for casual intimacy and the little hugs and moments between Xaden and Violet are so amazing. I love how casually he says I love you now that he has the green light and their conversations are SO married🥹🤍 I love how he takes care of her and builds her up. Counting down to when she feels ready to say ily back 🤍🤍

This fanfic has taken over my life. I’ve recommended this to my friends who have never even picked up FW or IF and they’re obsessed and want to read the actual books now. These updates make my week, thank you sm🥹😘

Xaden is too busy gloating about the fact that Violet is married to HIM and that she doesn’t let anyone else do things for her besides him to even care that half his kingdom is in love with her 😂

I feel like Mira didn’t get to say her piece in the book and it deserves to be acknowledged that Brennan let her down big time. And I feel like she would blame Brennan for leaving her to shoulder the burden of caring for their family alone. She needed him and he wasn’t there

We’re back to more of Xaden and Violet’s flirty, casual banter in the next chapter and I love them being soft but I love annoyed, impatient Violet and exasperated Xaden just as much

Also omg?? Thank you for recommending this to other people I hope this convinces them to read the books, tell them I said they absolutely should!!!

Thank you!! 🩷🩷🩷

[imsparky2002]

Barbie as the Island Princess: First Thoughts

The intro gives me Little Mermaid vibes for some reason.

Man I know this is only five years from Rapunzel, but they really improved in the cgi! The designs look really pleasant!

Ok, the dolphins look a bit plasticy but still!

I’m glad they also have enough confidence to let the tale stand on it’s own without having to establish this is Barbie telling a story to her little sister.

Is it wrong that I’m shipping the peacock and panda? They feel like a middle aged/eldery gay couple and I love it.

Aww! Weeby was right! They totally are Barbie’s gay dads!

Yeesh… I do NOT like the elephant’s design. Why can I see her realistic human teeth? And those eyes!

Overall a very pleasant opening musical number that shows off the island.

Pleasant scene of Ro comforting Tikka during a nightmare.

This goodnight song is making my brain feel weepy.

I love how this is a male love interest who is full of life and isn’t afraid to be in touch with his feminine side. Love the bow on his ponytail.

I love how Antonio’s first instinct when approached by a crocodile is to risk reaching for a branch to put in its mouth.

OMIGOD SHE KNOWS THE ALLIGATORS NAMES!

I love how they go "aww" because they're sad they can't munch on him.

Wait a minute... one of the crocodiles is called Fang. Holy crap, this is the origin story of Jagged Stone’s pet!

I love how Azul found out he’s a prince and is immediately like “fuck this island, come on Sagi, let’s take Tikka and live it up!”

I'm loving the lyrics in this song about Ro being befuddled by Antonio's tech and clothes.

Gerard is a zaddy, not gonna lie.

I’m giggling like a fool at hearing Azul ranting and raving in peacockese.

I wonder if Barbie will try speaking to any of the land’s animals.

WTF is that thing the queen is holding? Is that a monkey or a very unfortunate looking baby?

The king looks pretty young, more like his late 20s instead of 40s. Honestly though, he’s really hot.

Aww, the royal monkey has a posh accent!

Queen Ariana is honestly not that bad looking at all. If I wasn’t gay, I’d find her kinda cute.

It’s nice that the rival love interest is actually a sweet girl. A good subversion of expectations.

The vocals of the villain song reminds me of ABBA. Which is always a good sign.

Great contrast between Ariana’s powerful belting and Luciana’s quiet tone.

Omigod I am loving Ariana’s lyrics in this song, diabolical and hilarious.

LOL AND HER RATS ARE DOING BACKUP CHOREOGRAPHY

Aww, the girls dressed Tikka up!

They really captured the awkward yet respectful dialogue between enforced couples with Antonio and Luciana.

The backing score for the ballroom dance is divine.

Get yourself a man who would abdicate from the throne just to be with you.

Ah, I see Tikka hid the letter, I assume due to attachment issues.

I feel like the Cheese song is kinda unneccessary. A few lines of dialogue would have got the message across.

I do find it kinda ridiculous that nobody can pick up on Ariana’s evil vibe.

Seems that traumatic events are the key to regaining Ro’s memories.

Dolphin ex Machina has arrived.

So this new queen is obviously Ro’s mom, right?

I feel like Ariana would’ve been smarter to not attempt poisoning Antonio and his family so that she can remain in her daughter’s good graces.

Luiciana saving Ro and proving her mother’s the criminal warms my heart.

Ok, I’m happy Ro and Antonio are together, but isn’t marriage rather quick?

Huh… the sudden reveal of Rosella being a princess all along kinda ruins the message of “Love doesn’t care about status”.

Overall, a massive step up from the previous films. The first two were decent flicks, but this one takes time to flesh out each and every character. Also the score was wonderful and I found the animation to be a pleasant upgrade. The ending was a bit of an ass-pull but a enjoyable film nonetheless. @artzychic27 @msweebyness @nerd-chocolate

[planet-crait]

I lied again. We’re back on episode 6 because I can finally watch it lolz.

Aww Hazel and Jasmine are having a sleepover. I can’t recall the last time I had a sleepover…. Probably was like middle school.

Regardless of my terrible social life they’re both being silly and adorable and I just love that. Then hanging around like bats is both cute and terrifying all at once. How does Jasmine out the cucumbers right on her eyeballs that would hurt. So much. Oh yeah I was right this is where most likely the new girl whose name I still don’t know yet probably joins the friend group.

This is another painful reminder though of the fact that Chester and AJ…never seemed to care all that much about Timmy. We don’t see them really hang out outside of school and sometimes it felt like they where only friends because they’re all social outcasts rather then actually getting along which is just really sad and definitely doesn’t remind me at all of my own childhood nope not one bit (do you believe me).

It is nice to see Hazel having friends that care about her and are involved in her life. It’s not only nice to see but can add some stakes to putting her at risk of accidentally revealing Cosmo and Wanda. I don’t know if that aspect will come into play but it could.

Wait wait Winn is non binary. I love that oh my gosh. I’m loving this rep we’re seeing in the show just so casually in it. Like no one seems to be misgendering them which is great (fuck did I misgender them my bad yall.) I do think kids should be allowed to explore their gender identity and have some wiggle room to see who they are and I love the show is allowing kids to do that.

Dev trying to one up Hazel’s sleep over is hilarious. Oh wait Jasmine what are you doing girl?? Hazel is your friend! Hazel uh don’t lie, that’s not going to win over friends. Besides I thought you didn’t care about being cool? You need to be honest. Also would people really think a hotel is fancier than a mansion?

Umm what about the other people who live in that complex won’t they…notice? I mean I guess Hazel realized her parents but what about everyone else? The chihuahua’s guarding the literal safe are hilarious but uh if her parents have to leave won’t they notice?

Speaking of notice wasn’t there an episode about Jasmine coming over to Hazels place? Or maybe they went over to Jasmines? I’m not sure. Oh nope she was how is Hazel going to explain this away? But see I mentioned earlier the friends being closer thing could cause some issues? I love the potential stress from Jasmine knowing Hazel is lying and she can’t come clean because she’ll lose Cosmo and Wanda. And potentially Jasmine since their friendship started because of a wish? Maybe? That side of it goes a little more into uncharted territory that’s for sure.

I am no architect but uh I don't think columns would ever have a supporting beam like that. I know its for Winn to stake off of but they could have done something else to make that work.

Also also was this just a conservative Christian parents thing or was it more common before for girls and boy to not be allowed at the same sleepover? Just genuinely curious for such young kids its weird to do that sure but I get the concerns as they get older.

Okay don’t judge me I’m doing research on skateboarding for uh a fic I’m working on and holy shit that kickflip is an insanely hard move to pull off while stationary like shit it’s not realistic but they’re an incredibly good skateboarder. Even Cosmo and Wanda are impressed.

Okay so I’ve worked in hotels I have a degree in hospitality and two employees does not a hotel make. Not even a cheap motel could run with two employees much less a five star hotel. I could go into a whole tangent about how hotels get their five star rating and it’s not reviews like a lot of people think it’s actually about service level and I won’t dive in too deep here but no. Two employees would not even come close to any sort of reasonable staffing levels which if Dev shows up I imagine he’ll know something is off fast. Also uh they went way to overboard on the chandeliers lolz.

Winn seems like a genuinely cool kid like they aren’t put off by Jasmine and Hazels excitement and genuinely is happy to answer questions and share about themselves. A question I don’t think anyone will ask except me, does Winn dye their hair or is it supposed to be naturally purple? I am very invested in this question.

Aww Hazel thanking Cosmo and Wanda is just adorable and I love their fist bump when she walks away. Huh I expected Dev to crash the sleepover but apparently not. Maybe it’s me knowing the depth he’ll be getting later on but I kind of almost feel bad for Dev right now. He’s a jerk currently but he’s also a kid of a rich family he’s got to have problems from that.

WHY IS HAZEL FLYING THE HELICOPTER? Girl what are you doing??!!!?? Cosmo and Wanda this isn’t proper Godparenting!!! And this is why you don’t out chandeliers in helicopters.

Okay I laughed when I saw the sign for uninhabited forest animals too sign. I just. I don’t know why I was about to ask “what about the inevitable damage crashing the helicopter will cause” and the show immediately went “nope it’s fine I know it’s implausible but it’s fine”.

I am starting to wonder how this wish will go “wrong” so to speak. Every episode so far it has and I have a few guesses but I’m not really sure what will be the thing that makes it all go wrong and how it will all resolve.

Aww they’re friends. Ahh the good old days when hanging out for like a couple days f hours made you immediate friends (toobadthosedisntlast) ehem. Oh huh I wonder if this news broadcast will cause the issue?

Ohh huh not any of my suspects most likely. Seems Hazel may let the game get to her head which is how this went for Timmy. I mean sure it makes sense but I did enjoy the show not retreading the exact same ground even if this is a good lesson to remember. I’m not at the end yet just reading the signs of what probably will happen.

Oh huh I may have been wrong again it may be less fame gets to her head and more the stress gets to her. Maybe I should stop trying to predict and just see what happens.

Ohh poor Winn and Jasmine trying to play board games and being blown off with over and over again. Oh I like Cosmo and Wanda calling out Hazel. I mean running a hotel is a lot of work but she’s a kid and she should be hanging out with her friends.

Wait did Cosmo and Wanda send them to SPACE WITH NO GEAR???? Oh they are dead. Vicious. (Whycoulsnttheydothattotimmysparents) ehem wow I have a bad cough today ignore that it’s over text. But see this is why you don’t only have two employees it’s way too much work. I guess it’s technically three people but that’s still not nearly enough people.

I’m glad they forgave Hazel pretty quickly. I am not a fan of when people demand groveling for forgiveness especially since she wasn’t like mean to them directly more got caught up in other things which while not great isn’t like as mean as what happened with Timmy. Though. Wouldn’t everyone notice the apartments changing from a hotel to a messy apartment? With the episode ending I feel like that’s gonna get yadda yadda’d past. Poor Hazels dad. He’s right but no one is listening to him. Why didn’t the emu vanish as well why did Cosmo have to toss it out? I have questions.

Yeah Dev sucks but oof getting chased by an animal is uh terrifying. Overall I think this is my new favorite episode so far. The writing flows better things that happen overall flow well and just works overall. I was way off base on how things would go wrong with this wish but that’s okay sometimes, they didn’t mislead or anything I was just wildly guessing lolz.

Onto episode uh 8? Oh jeez jumping out of order is getting so confusing lolz. Hopefully this is the last time I have to do that.

[charmwasjess]

10, 14 and 20 for ask game!

For 10: Is there a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

All of them?!?! I write mainly in Dooku's Jedi era (pre-prequels? are we still calling it that?) and that was a super tiny part of the fandom back when the movies were actively coming out. It didn't seem possible anyone would care about it now, so having any readers is like... fucking AMAZING! I love each and every one of you DEARLY.

I'll also say, responses to my fics where I'm writing Dooku and Sifo-Dyas together has been interesting. I definitely lost a reader or two, which makes me sad, but I was really surprised and incredibly touched by the much larger positive response to it. Having been a queer person in the closet for a lot of my younger life, writing queer experiences openly is really cool to me.

For 14: If you could see one of your fics adapted into a visual medium, such as comic or film, which fan fic would you pick?

Answered a little bit of this here and here. :D

For 20: What’s a favorite title for a fic you’ve written?

I admit, I really like Milk Run. For those of you who haven't read it, in the fic, a "Milk Run" is a Jedi slang term for an easy lowstakes mission where nothing exciting happens. Dooku is recovering from an injury and so desperate to get out of the Temple that he'll take any mission - so he and Qui-Gon are assigned a classic good ol' Milk Run. Of course, this is wonderful because Dooku knows how to handle the most dangerous missions the galaxy can throw at him, but not how to sit still, and it's fun to write him doing things he's bad at.

It also gave me a thematic chance to explore a topic I love: Jedi working nontraditional Jedi jobs. Jocasta and Sifo-Dyas lives as Jedi who both serve the Order in less traditional "run in with your lightsaber out" roles. Jocasta obviously in the Archives, and Sifo-Dyas currently supervising a group of graduate students at a Jedi archeological dig site.

There's actually a snippet I love where Sifo-Dyas is trying to explain to Dooku that there are other ways to deal with a space pirate queen that kind of hits at the heart of the fic's Milk Run theme:

“She threatens you?” Dooku tried unsuccessfully to keep the outrage out of his voice. He couldn’t possibly follow Sifo-Dyas around for their whole lives finishing his fights for him. Even if he might still want to try.

“Not in a real way. It seemed like almost pageantry to her, or posturing. You know, her crew gets to see her face off with a Jedi, and I get to pull out my lightsaber and wave it around in front of the graduate students, all just good fun…I never thought she’d actually try something.” He scowled. “Especially not with the connivance of the asshole Arnet!

“Sifo…” The words "wave it around" were echoing surreally through Dooku’s head.

“I know, I know. I’m releasing my anger into the Force.”

“No, it wasn’t that…" In his own career as a Jedi, Dooku was occasionally called out to deal with especially troublesome pirates on missions that were more his typical, life-threatening dangerous style, decidedly not milk runs, or research on cultural sites. There was nothing of good fun or lightsaber-waving in the desperate violence of those encounters. “I was just going to say… your life… it is sometimes strange to me.”

“What, just because of the Queen Theo thing?”

“This situation where you and a space pirate recreationally antagonize each other for the entertainment of your subordinates is a fine example of what I mean.” Dooku scoffed. “Come to think of it, perhaps you ought to have slept with her after all. She might have been less inclined to eventually steal from you.”

“Oh, wow, so you know all about pleasing women now.”

Dooku shot him a venomous look. “I get by.”

Sifo-Dyas began to laugh. “I honestly don’t understand why people think you have no sense of humor. You’re completely hilarious.”