#it’s ableist when you force one onto people

[adhd-culture--is]

fun follow-up question: does this differ from how you like other people to describe you?

[bonefall]

Hey Bones! Sorry if this is a bit random to ask you, but-

Is it ok if you elaborate and/or explain how Millie is ableist towards Briarlight please?

I haven’t really heard much people within the fandom talk about Millie’s treatment of Briarlight and her disability as negative and/or bad compared to Millie not really paying attention to Blossomfall within the books.

So I’m interested what you know and/or have to say about it.

OH boy, I feel like this one is REALLY easy to see if you just pop the book open. It will make your skin crawl once you see these quotes. Millie is an AWFUL mother and SHOCKING in how nasty she is to her disabled child.

I run in some pretty good circles and curate my Tumblr experience well, so I see plenty of people just mentioning it as a fucked up thing the series did casually, but I'll make a compilation of the worst of it.

(CW for some serious ableism, Millie is terrible.)

She's injured in Chapter 11 of OotS Book 2: Fading Echoes, and Millie is obsessive over her until Chapter 9 of OotS Book 3: Night Whispers. She's interfering with Jayfeather's treatments, constantly in the den, shouting at him when he tries to be honest about Briarlight's condition.

But that would be understandable. She's concerned and the prognosis isn't great. Her very young, athletic daughter (basically 17-ish) has suddenly received a life-altering injury that will drastically affect her life. Until Night Whispers Chapter 9, she's just worrying about her daughter.

And then we get this.

(Please note this is happening in front of the entire Clan. The entire social group is watching this.)

Though Briarlight expressed frustration with her exercises and how painful and difficult recovery was in Fading Echoes, that is not the case in Night Whispers. At this point, it's difficult but Briarlight is recovering well. MILLIE decides that her daughter being alive with a disability is suffering.

Note how in this exchange, Jayfeather is being forced to comfort Briarlight's MOTHER. Not BRIARLIGHT herself, the one with the injury who is looking at a massive upheaval to her life. Though superficially it seems like this is coming from a place of love, Millie is making Briarlight's recovery about herself by doing this, and this exchange is ableist.

Millie: "I want her to do all of these able-bodied things."

Jay: "That will not happen, but life has inherent value."

Millie: "No it doesn't, if you cannot do those able-bodied things, you are suffering."

But it gets worse because it's not even that she's only expressing this in private. Her daughter is within earshot. The newly disabled person is listening to their own fucking mother call her medical treatment "dragging out her suffering."

BURN this passage into your mind. Having heard her OWN FUCKING MOTHER cry to a crowd of cats that maybe it would be better if she was DEAD, watching several cats drop everything to comfort HER for having a disabled daughter, Briarlight has to drag herself out and act like a cute baby to get her to stop making a public spectacle.

It's hard to describe to someone who hasn't been in the situation before, but if your parent is making a scene like that, it'll end up falling onto you to "appeal" to their sense of... parental valor, is the best way I can put it. "See? Aren't I getting better? I promise I'll work hard. I'm not hurt it's okay! Everything is fine!" You give them a chance to affirm how good of a parent they are, for helping you, or 'putting up' with you. You have to assure them that your existence isn't so bad.

In essence, it falls onto the child to comfort their parent.

This is specifically a form of a toxic family dynamic called emotional parentification, on top of it being obviously ableist. She is being shoved into a position where she needs to sacrifice her OWN need for support and comfort to coddle her parent, to STOP her from making a scene, while that parent screams that her disabled life is worth less than her siblings' abled ones to a crowd of cats.

Naturally, this affects Briarlight's sense of self-worth. She stops eating.

Thankfully, Jayfeather is here to have an exchange about how her life has value. For all my issues with Jayf in later arcs, he has some of his best moments here in OotS.

In later books, Briarlight's struggles with self-worth continue. It's all shit that Millie implied about her being less useful because she is unable to do what her siblings can.

It's every other cat who has to come in and assure Briarlight that she isn't worthless. Not Millie. Millie comes on screen and she's either making Briarlight feel like garbage or barking at Jayfeather for not doctoring hard enough.

She desperately craves independence. This above scene is happening because she wanted to come out into the woods for the first time in forever, and she's being suffocated and bossed around in the camp constantly. It was up to her brother, Bumblestripe, to do anything to help her.

Not her dad. Not her mom. Bumblestripe. (Rare Bumblestripe W)

I also want to take a brief moment to point out a detail that the fandom often forgets, about Blossomfall. She actually knows full well that her feelings are unreasonable here, and she believes that the fact she isn't feeling "what she is supposed to" is proof that she is a bad person who deserves hell.

Millie's actions are crushing ALL of her children under its weight. Briarlight is obviously getting the worst of it, but these are YOUNG adults, just out of apprenticeship, and Blossomfall is being told that her sister is in a constant state of "suffering." This means she's not allowed to be frustrated about how Millie is behaving, because hating THAT means you hate your sister, and that makes her an awful person.

What Blossomfall is describing here is the feelings associated with being a glass child.

But no it's not JUST that she's being neglectful to Blossomfall, who yes, is a young adult and can take responsibility for her own actions. Millie is being nasty to Bloss too, directly comparing her to Briarlight and unironically doing the "You should be GRATEFUL you can walk when BRIARLIGHT WOULD DO ANYTHING TO LEGS AROUND."

Again. I'll state the very obvious from the passage.

"Hey Millie, your other daughter looks kinda upset right now!" = "PERFECT TIME TO SNAP AT HER"

Blossomfall = Wasted her morning when she should be Useful

Useful = Can hunt

"YOUR SISTER wouldn't act like this"

Proper warrior = spends every waking minute in service of the clan

Once again, Millie does this in public, with several people watching her rip into her child. She even gets ANGRY at Brackenfur gently trying to soften the blow. It's freakjob shit to hear, "h-hey, at least they're safe!" and SNARL back "IS IT?"

Millie continues to hover over Briarlight well into Bramblestar's Storm. The closure for these intense, insulting comments, public embarrassments, snapping at and neglecting one child while telling the other one that her life was "suffering" because she can't walk is.....

millie watches her do some pull-ups and is so impressed by them she isn't bigoted anymore :o)

"my daughter's membership at British Planet Fitness paid off. Look at how big her biceps are now. I guess I was wrong to tell her that her life is inherently suffering because she can't hunt, just look at her gooooo"

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

So, basically, Millie's a terrible parent. She never gets properly called out for this manipulative, toxic behavior. She says that her own daughter might have been better off dead in public. She makes Briarlight feel like half of a cat because she can't do all the things her siblings do, while her siblings are told that they should be grateful they're not disabled like Briarlight.

And just to end off, because it's relevant, the BRAND NEW writing team then killed off Briarlight in an incredibly stupid, insulting way. She catches fucking Greencough in AVoS so that they can have a very sad funeral for a couple of chapters, before moving on to Jayfeather being a shithead to Alderheart for being friends with Velvet.

Then they wrote a line in Squirrelflight's Hope where Squilf's mother begs her to stay dead in heaven, because if she goes back to life, she might be disabled like Briarlight and her mate Bramblestar won't want her anymore. The line was so bad the authors promised that it wouldn't be there in reprints; the reprint still has not come.

normal series.

[eelfuneral]

I know that I’ve touched on the harassment that people are getting for posting theories about Tech being alive, but there is another element that I believe we should discuss: the fact that the harassment is being disproportionately lobbed at autistic fans. Now, I’m not trying to imply that all of the people leaving these nasty comments are sitting around thinking about how much they hate autistic people, but whether they realize it or not, the types of posts that they tend to leave nasty comments on tend to be posts made by people displaying what might be autistic traits. In fact, a lot of posts that have these harassing comments are made by people who make it no secret that they are autistic and sometimes even mention it in their bio.

So what do I mean when I say that a lot of these posts may hint at OP being autistic? For starters, autistic brains tend to latch onto things with a great deal of intensity, and sometimes our brains latch onto specific fictional characters. We know logically that these characters are not real and that there are objectively more important things to worry about, but our brains simply do not care. Focused autistic interests are a source of a lot of comfort and stability for us in a world that is often overwhelming, and they are important to us as a result. A lot of the people dogging the Tech posts seem to take issue with how “obsessed” people are with the character and his survival, which in some cases, is due to OP simply being autistic and having a focused interest.

Another trait that can manifest in autistic people is difficulty with emotional regulation, meaning that even “small” things can make us more upset than our peers. The people leaving harassing replies seem to have picked up on the fact that people are “too emotional” over a fictional character and sometimes even make their replies extra graphic (ie. “he’s rotting at the bottom of the chasm”, “he’s flesh paste”) in order to get a rise out of the OP. Obviously, not everyone who makes posts like these or has these challenges is autistic, but I believe that my point still stands that going after people with these traits will cause autistic people to be disproportionately targeted, which is an ableist pattern.

Sometimes, however, the harassment feels more intentionally targeted at autistic fans. A lot of Tech fans really value Tech as autistic representation and feel like killing him off in our current popular culture environment where a fair chunk of autistic portrayals are negative is in poor taste. The “Tech is dead, get over it” harassers blatantly ignore or ridicule these statements, showing zero empathy to the people who feel seen because of this character. I have seen people bulldoze into posts where autistic fans talk about how much they hope he survives because they see themselves in him with comments like “he’s dead, get over it.” In one instance, I saw an allistic fan tell an autistic fan that Tech was “forced diversity” and that if Disney was going to attempt autistic representation, then the character shouldn’t be “boring” like Tech. I don’t think I really need to explain why this is inappropriate.

It’s fine to disagree with a popular fan theory or debate about it in good faith with someone who is up to it, but what I am seeing goes well beyond that. Harassment is never, ever okay, and you should know better than to leave replies like the ones in these screenshots below when you see a fan theory that you don’t agree with.

[hiiragi7]

Parts language is not dehumanizing, but the way people in the plural community treat parts language makes me feel dehumanized as a person who uses parts language.

I was reading that damn "Why the Theory of Structural Dissociation is Ableist" article written by Stronghold and released by the plural association (bluntly, I find it to be a very poorly written article - not in its strongly worded opinions, but because it spreads blatant misinformation regarding the success of final fusion based on a study the author did not understand, and I also find the piece to be incredibly ableist against systems who use parts language and seek final fusion).

Specifically, I want to talk about this paragraph from the article today, as I find it illustrates a lot of the problems that I have encountered in the plural community with regards to parts language:

Although I do not think personalities is the right term for us, nor is the word parts. It is derogatory, dehumanizing & it is taking away from our autonomy, roles and authenticity as individuals. And so I often wonder whether the alter integration they desire, equals just not being Plural anymore in the minds of the writers of Structural dissociation. If it does, it makes sense to diminish us to parts. And it also makes sense to claim “no one has to go away”, if they never believed we are separated in the first place. After all, it is the ‘experience of separation’, not actual separation, as they say, we did not split off. So was using the term ‘parts’ in 1987 progressive, or a step to further diminish, gaslight and silence us?

While I find questioning the intentions of the authors valuable and think it is important to explore whether any given medical intervention is truly aimed at individual wellbeing or whether its goal is normality and conforming to ableist ideas of what health looks like, I find it completely unnecessary to shit on parts language in order to do that.

This idea that I or any other system which uses parts language is "diminished" to parts carries the implication that parts are something less-than, undesirable, or have less value than systems which are not parts. This narrative is surprisingly anti-system for an organization which claims to be "empowering those with Dissociative Identity Disorder, OSDD and all other forms, labels and experiences of Plurality."

I am not diminished to parts; my parts are me, and I am a person. I cannot be diminished by my own personhood.

Additionally, the idea that parts language is "derogatory, dehumanizing, and takes away from our autonomy, roles, and authenticity as individuals" may imply that systems which use parts language are self-harming, that they are being derogatory and dehumanizing towards themselves, and stripping themselves of their own autonomy and individuality. This is an extremely negative and biased view of not only parts language but also those who use parts language as well. I use parts language for myself out of self-love, not hate.

Further, if we are to acknowledge plurality as a spectrum, then even if parts language really did mean system members were less individual from each other, how is that a bad thing? Median systems have long existed and have described their experiences as "different versions of me" or "different modes"; why is this fine, but saying you have parts as a system is not? Why is there such a focus on individuality and personhood to the point that it excludes those systems who do not experience their systemhood in that way? In what way is that inclusive?

Parts language should not be forced onto anyone, as it is important in general not to force a view of self onto someone that does not align with how they identify; yet, it feels as though people completely forget that rule when sentiments such as "your system members are 100% different people" or "calling your system members parts is derogatory and you are dehumanizing them" are pushed onto people as some sort of objective truth. That is just not how my system works; It would be just as wrong to say my system is not parts as it would be to say to a system who is not parts that they're actually parts.

Critiquing the language which medical professionals use to describe the experiences of their patients has its place, absolutely, however you must also have a level of respect for the people who relate to and use that language that all too often is lacking.

[quins-makeshift-menagerie]

I know the answer could possibly be a spoiler but

Is Janus meant to be a villain or not??? I'm assuming they are because they literally admitted to MURDERING clones we didn't see because they were "genetically inferior" (obvious disgusting behavior) and have generally been an extremely toxic presence in the lives of the other characters. but you've been giving kinda mixed signals?? I know there's nuance but I'm. Worried. Because I've seen commewnity artists reveal some very ableist and/or abuse-endorsing behavior/beliefs under a friendly facade and it's concerning me. I don't think YOU would do that, but a surprising amount of people completely missed the message of the first pokemon movie so. Idk I'm worried.

Firstly, if anything I create comes off as ableist and/or abuse endorsing that is ENTIRELY unintentional and does not reflect my views at all. Apologies if you feel that way but know it was never my intent to give off that vibe.

Under a read more because this got a bit long…

To put it very simply, Janus is not meant to be a villain. Janus was never meant to be an antagonizing force and if they come off as such then that is a failure on my part. I’ll do my best to address your concerns but again apologize if my explanations don’t clear it up 😔

Please keep in mind Janus stems a lot from the original translation of the first movie, where Mew does see clones as inferior beings. I won’t deny that originally this was Janus’ mindset when first introduced. This isn’t a view current Janus holds and I need this to be understood. They’ve grown since their introduction.

Though yes Janus did hold this view, it’s become very complex given their nature. Janus is parent to all life, even clones. They weren’t happy about the clones existing, but this stemmed a lot more from humans and their intentions which, more often than not, have never been good.

On an semi-related note, despite being more aggressive towards human made clones due to what corruption humans could pass onto them, Janus was shown to be (at the very least since they had not gone through any development yet) tolerant of Mnemosyne, even respecting their desire to live peacefully and offering to train them so they would be prepared when the mittens came.

Apologies if I am wrong, but I’m a bit confused as to what you mean by them being an extremely toxic presence. While admittedly Janus is not the traditional kind and bubbly many seem to expect from Mew characters, they haven’t gone out of their way to be an extremely toxic presence. If anything they’ve taken a more neutral/passive but positive leaning position. They’ve helped Mnemosyne, they’ve helped Calliope, they’ve helped Bellatrix, they’ve begun to put forth the effort to actually be in their son and granddaughter’s lives despite their rough history. Janus is trying to be better.

Unfortunately Janus is a character I fear I will never be able to portray correctly because they have a viewpoint that no one could ever hope to experience/understand. They’re old, older than time itself. Their perception of time and morality are complicated, yet at the same time they’re so detached from the mortal experience that they’re like an infant when it comes to their understanding of the complexities of life. However they’re allowing themself, through becoming involved in those complexities via the Mirage Island crew, to grow and learn.

I understand if you hate Janus for what they did and do not forgive them, I’m not asking that of you. All I ask is that you understand Janus is a deeply complex character, but they were never meant to come off antagonistic towards the Mirage Island crew, especially at this point in the story.

[makerofmadness]

I don't see people talk about it as much as other kinds of intrusive thoughts and I know i really could've benefited from knowing about this sooner than just a day or two ago when I saw confirmation from others that it was a thing so let me say here:

yes, bigoted intrusive thoughts with OCD (racism, queerphobia, sexism, antisemitism, etc.) ARE a thing and you are NOT any of those things for having these thoughts forced upon you by your brain.

This stuff is absolutely fxcking awful to have (especially if you also experience thought broadcasting [a paranoid delusion that often accompanies OCD from what I've read, and that I know I have personally, that your thoughts can in some way be heard or seen by others. This can manifest in multiple ways, and I know it has done such for me. I mainly experience it as feeling that people in my general vicinity can hear/see what I'm thinking. I've also had it latch onto specific people before, even when those people aren't near me physically. Another way you may experience it is that your thoughts are being literally broadcasted in some way, like via a screen or radio. And yes, I've had this too), particularly in a world where cancel culture is so prevalent and where people are sometimes a bit too quick to accuse someone of this being these awful things... often for groups they aren't even a part of themselves and would not have the right to speak for.

I have felt incredibly embarrassed by having to experience these thoughts, sometimes even concerning groups that I am literally a part of. I've had these thoughts even against my own ethnicity from time to time. More often I have misogynistic thoughts despite being a girl. You can experience these thoughts even about groups you are a part of.

Though even if they're for groups you aren't a part of: no, having these thoughts does not mean you actually think these things. You are not a monster and if people were to try to cancel you for this then they'd be incredibly ableist since these are outside of your control. and they're outside of my control too.

I've decided it'd be good to provide a source about these so that others who have or think they may have this kind of OCD can read up on it (the only things I've found so far on them have been specifically about racist intrusive thoughts though, not much about other bigotry, if anyone can find stuff on those feel free to add):

(I'd add more but when I tried to add a second link it didn't display the way the first one did)

And for a final note, particularly for people without OCD:

I had my thoughts worsen a lot after someone pretty much accused me of being racist over something that in hindsight was kinda stupid (and that I would later realize due to another incident that it wasn't race-related at all to begin with). Please be careful with when you insinuate or accuse someone of being racist, don't throw those things around, you can severely harm someone mentally. If you're not part of the group it concerns, maybe ask someone of that group first before you speak on them.

[omgellendean]

Found a great thread on how social assistance denies dignity to recipients.

(copied it here in case it disappeared)

"I came from poverty and very deliberately avoided 'services' and organizations that could have assisted me. I did not apply for social housing. I lived in places that were definitely not up to code. I worked multiple jobs. Just to avoid being part of system for 'poor people.'

"When I became wheelchair user & alone, I was moved into social housing. The day I moved in almost broke me. I never cried about my dx, about my disability, not even about all my savings being gone or any of the rest. But moving becoming "a client" was the line.

"The only way I could breathe is I told myself - and anyone within earshot - that I would be working again and out of social housing in a year. That was 14 years ago.

"I see all these progressives wax poetic about the wonders of social housing and various programs "for the poor." But there is a price that comes with that "help" - we don't 'help' you unless we deem you "helpless."

"The programs in social housing assume incompetence. "Let us teach you how to budget. Let us teach you how to make a boiled egg." The air is thick with the smugness of "helping our lessers." And judgment.

"So I don't know anything about the people who built that home but I understand why it would feel like more of a home than a shelter or a "unit" in the "housing stock" for "the poor." I understand why that feels like dignity.

To become successful at being poor within the system you need to perform acts of gratitude for things you shouldn't have to. You need to self-flagellate. You need to show you are deferential. You need to prove your situation is shitty as it is.

If you fail to prove your situation is as extremely shitty as they require then they will make sure it becomes worse. If you are on benefits you are not even allowed to pay your own rent - the state decides to handle this for you - because again, assumed incompetence.

"I have been offered home care. I declined. At some point i won't be able to decline but home care can act like state surveillance. And it just takes one ableist aid to make a report 'concerned' about something like a coffee burn.

"I was forced to use power wheelchair not manual for years bc an OT saw me struggle first time I transferred onto the toilet in this apt - because the bathroom is inaccessible. Chair moved a bit, I didn't fall but that was enough to override my choice.

"In GF Strong there was another young woman and we both wanted to get rear-drive power wheelchair instead of mid-drive or front-wheel. GF staff strongly discouraged rear-wheel. She was pressured out of it and she kept rooting for me. When I surrendered she couldn't even look at me

"We knew they broke us. We knew in that moment we were 'tamed' - albeit temporarily, as I had a plan to get a wheelchair on my own. I just couldn't handle another conflict with staff, I was already on thin ice fighting not to be sent to a nursing home.

"The idea of having a home - where you are not a client - and there is no 'staff' deciding if you are poor enough - not "too disabled" to be unsafe - no judgment, no surrendering power, self-worth - sounds great to me.

"Incidentally this is also why the proponents of MAID marketing it to disabled poor people as ‘chance to assert your autonomy’ is so deeply and intentionally malicious. It’s a fake autonomy injected into people state deprives of real autonomy.

"Changed who can reply to NO ONE because I really do not want to read about how "these people" should be given a job. These are some of the good ones. Oh yeah, these poor people impressed you. Literally also not the point of the thread. But why start listening to poor people now.

"Will probably delete the thread and also possibly my account.

"OK turns out I want to say a few more things before I decide if I'm leaving this site for good. YOU may be amazed that some poor people did this. I - an actual poor person who lives around poor people - am very much NOT. And the way you are fixating on this like they cured cancer

"Is just the progressive version of othering us. I'm not amazed. Because I know poor people. So no, not amazed at all. That was not the point of my thread. Not even a tiny, little bit. Stop turning these people into some sort of circus freak version of poor people.

"Stop exceptionalizing them. Stop being shocked. Or at least stop fucking doing those things in a poor person's mentions. OMFG I'm here talking about dignity being stripped form us and you want to turn them into your poster child for the sustainability or whatever."

[ihopesocomic]

Hey amongst all of this I just wanna say I really like how this comic has handled Viscous and this kind of abuse.

We start off with her losing the other cubs in her litter, no one believing Hope would survive, and seeing her not having a fourth leg as proof of that. Viscous won't lose another cub and holds onto her but doesn't move past that grief.

In order to keep her cub alive, she carries her around. She doesn't let her do things for herself that could potentially harm another one of her legs and stop her from walking altogether. An ableist stance, yeah, but you can see where the concern is coming from.

Giving her no independence is obviously not great and it grows from there. We can see where the behaviour has stemmed from. It's a grief filled flavour of control, a distance in emotion, and an inability to see what Hope can do in favour of focusing on what she can't. She hasn't grown past the whole "this is my last cub I can't let her die too" situation enough to see Hope as a person, seemingly only really getting involved when either prompted, or when Hope is doing something she deems dangerous.

Then of course we have the Jasper situation. The forced compliance over a fear of a repeat of the cacklers situation. She's an example of a mother not leaving an abusive situation 'for the kids', due to that reliance. The fear of losing the last cub from that litter and the fear of what would happen to the pride without Jasper is keeping her in-line. She can't see past these things, she's stuck in the system with Jasper feeding into it all.

But none of this is used to justify her actions. Her single minded focus on keeping the last cub alive despite the odds have been twisted over time, growing into what it is now. She hasn't healed from anything and has no real space to do so. You've framed her decisions in such a way that we can fill in the gaps and see this progression, but without it in any way suggesting a loving and caring relationship with Hope. She's not sympathetic in a way that says she loves anf cared for her, she's sympathetic in that we can see where it started and what it's become and can be sympathetic for how it started.

The thing with Viscous is that she makes sense. She's not just Like That or cartoonishly cruel, she makes sense. She doesn't really see Hope as a person so she doesn't have a name until much later. She lashes out because her daughter disobeyed her and gave her the name Hopeless, and thinking about it, you can see where that name stems from as well. She assumed to be hopeless from the very beginning, and while Viscous focused on keeping her alive, there has always been that lack of hope. That lack of belief that Hope could be anything but a tripod dead weight that's gonna die like the other cubs the second Vicious loses control over her.

You haven't once suggested that Vicious has done the right thing or that she's justified. You've shown us how she got here in a way that makes sense, and in a way that we don't need any of the cast to outright tell us what's going on.

I may not be right about this since it's just my interpretation, but I wanted to chime in and share how well I think Vicious has been written. She's an antagonist who's motivations make a lot of sense, but who is still very much an antagonist and very much not justified in her actions and that's what makes her a great character. If she were written more sympathetically, she wouldn't be nearly as good for the story!

Sorry for the rambling, your comic and characterisation are just so good it brings the words outta me lmao

OH STOP IT YOU <33

Thank you so much for this sweet ask. It was truly a joy to read and we always appreciate people taking the time to "ramble" in our inbox, don't ever apologise for that.

But yeah, I always worry about Vicious's portrayal because we wanted to show just enough for people to fill in gaps themselves because sometimes I wonder if things can come across as heavy handed or obvious in our portrayal of abuse.

Hearing all of this is always such a comfort, so thanks so much yee <333 - RJ

[xerith-42]

Stop blaming characters for bad writers

Seriously, stop fucking doing this. While this is a post that could certainly be applicable to MANY fandoms, I'm mainly directing this whole rant at my target audience which is mentally ill minecraft obsessed freaks.

If a character is written badly, gets badly fumbled by the creator, or has the ball dropped in regards to their arc in some way, a lot of people will blame the character, as if they're a real conscious person making these decisions. When they aren't. They're a block man literally being controlled by two people who just aren't very good writers and one or both of them are incredibly sexist, kind of racist, ableist, and just bad writers in general.

Yeah, Laurance does some pretty shitty things through out Season 2 of MCD, actively crossing lines he wouldn't have previously crossed. We as fans can cope by saying something something calling, or just saying Laurance is a bad abusive person, but the reality is that the writers wanted to force the series to fit a specific vision and as a result were willing to do anything to get the series to that point. In order to make Aaron the most favorable suitor for Aphmau, her previous suitors need to be out of the picture, or clearly inferior options.

Garroth suffered the out of the picture, being mostly absent outside of a few cutscenes here and there until episode 81 of season 2, but episode 81 is the culmination of the writers goals to make Aarmau happen. By the time Garroth has returned to the series, the damage has already been done. He's not getting the life he wants. And Laurance is written out of the picture as well, but only after being shown to be inferior because Jesson were pushing an agenda.

Laurance didn't deteriorate as a person due to neglect of his physical and mental well being after a severely traumatic experience. He deteriorated as a character because the writers stopped giving as much of a shit about him and instead were using the series as self indulgent fanfiction of alternate versions of themselves. That's not Laurance's fault.

And this applies to any character who was completely fumbled in MyStreet due to this similar focus on wish fulfillment from the writers. Jess has stated that the relationship between Aphmau and Aaron in Phoenix Drop High is reflective of her relationship with Jason, we all know this. This means that any characters who come off as total fucking creeps in that series (namely Gene), are not actually acting on the whims of their own autonomy or desires as characters. They are acting in service of telling a predetermined story that they are retroactively being added into for author fulfillment.

In this regard I fully support fandom cope and say that you should rewrite your little guys to your hearts content. But if you're going to criticize these characters for their actions, don't criticize them. They didn't do anything wrong. All characters are just puppets in service of the story or themes a writer is trying to push. If a character acts in an objectively terrible way, especially a way that isn't in line with their previous characterizations, that is a failing of the writers, not the character.

And I feel like largely a lot of us can and frequently do this. We're actively criticizing Jesson for being terrible low-key bigoted writers all the god damn time, it's like half of the content here. But when we get into character discourse I feel like some people cling onto bad actions of the canon too closely and I've seen more than a few posts presume some pretty terrible interpretations of characters based on these actions. Obviously Laurance is a character I and a lot of others are fixated on so a lot of discourse revolves around him, and it was seeing some... interesting takes on him that prompted me to start writing this post.

But this happens to everyone. Quite personally based on the character I was shown in MyStreet, it feels really weird that Garroth would make an insensitive comment about his brother's weight. Yeah siblings poke fun at each other and often cross lines, but if that was something Zane was seriously insecure about (which it seems like he might be) then it does make Garroth come off as a really insensitive brother, which just doesn't gel with how hard he tries to bond with Zane despite their tense relationship. And I don't think Garroth should be criticized for making those comments.

Whoever wrote those lines (Jess and/or Jason) should be criticized for writing a scene where a character is mocked by their older sibling over a physical insecurity even if said sibling would not normally do that. It's not Travis' fault that Jesson never decided to give him more of a character beyond "funny pervy guy" that's not funny in every anime they've watched until Season 5 of MyStreet. It's unfair to try and say Travis should be scrutinized for his borderline sexual harassment of some characters when it's not his fault that happened, he was written by writers who don't think this sort of behavior isn't all that bad if they make it out for comedy and punch him in the face.

And god dammit it's not Laurance's fault that his jealousy became the most prevalent emotion he felt. Laurance has always been a character to give into his vices and yet fight against them at the same time, it's what makes him compelling. If they were going to pull on those vices in order to make him a less appealing love interest, he never had a chance to really be his own character after a certain point. Because at a certain point in Season 2, Jesson stopped caring about the character they had been writing for over a hundred episodes at that point. They just wanted to canonize their self insert ship and were willing to do anything to get it.

Laurance isn't an abusive angry person who would have killed Aphmau if they got together. He's a flawed character being handled by incredibly flawed writers who are prone to making some of the worst decisions you have ever seen a creator make in regards to their character writing. He was caught in the crossfire of the adoration he received from a very dedicated fanbase, and the creator who would rather pretend he and his previous arc didn't exist for the sake of her fun. It's not Laurance's fault his arc was stilted, jerked around, and ultimately ended with him completely face planting. And yet still reliably dragging his bloodied body up at just the slightest glimmer of hope (Void Paradox).

It's deeply poetic and tragic that I can describe his character in universe and in the meta-textual sense that way, but we should never blame Laurance, or Aaron, or any other characters for things being like this.

They didn't write the show. Jess and Jason did.

[davespwite]

im not going to be nice in this post

its so funny to me that some people on here will say "ummm, we cant ban cars, its a 15 minute drive to the store from where i live" like do you not see any issue with what you just said. are you okay with having to drive 30 minutes total to go to the store. really? and "walkable cities is an ableist dogwhistle" is such an ignorant thing to say. not only are you getting caught up on semantics and ignoring the actual message being communicated to you, you demonstrate that you have absolutely NO understanding of what people are actually advocating for. less car dependence = more accessibility for everyone.

first of all, nobody serious or worth listening to is advocating to ban cars straight off the bat. believe it or not but people who want walkable cities have an issue with the city design itself not the fuckin cars. why would we ban cars when it takes you 15 minutes to drive to the store? if your only reason for dismissing the conversation around walkability and cars is because you think we want to ban cars and believe thats all there is to fix the problem, im not sorry to tell you that youre being ignorant.

no, cars should not be banned straight off the bat. what should be changed is city design- cities are designed around cars, not humans. the fundamental problem there is that humans, pedestrians, are being put second behind 2-5 ton machines. these machines destroy the environment in a multitude of ways. the mining for their batteries, oil, gasoline, emissions, microplastics off their tires, etc.... instead, city design should put the human first- walkways and sidewalks should be wider, bike lanes more common, and public transit that moves people en masse efficiently instead of one vehicle housing 1.5 people.

secondly, to all the "its an ableist dogwhistle!" people out there, i have a serious question for you.

which one of these is more accessible for the disabled? for reference, the image on the right is close to the ideal for a lot of people- i think most people advocating for less car dependence would say even that could be improved to be even more accessible to everyone.

left: -visible smog -cars parked on the sidewalk -high curbs -restricted movement -not even a crosswalk -smelly and noisy. uncomfortable to be a human in. made for cars.

right: -no cars on the sidewalk! -crosswalk -lower curbs -freedom of movement--the lanes originally meant for cars were narrowed, therefore the sidewalks are wider -generally quieter. made for humans. social and much cleaner

is it "accessible" if you have to get into and out of your car to go to the store- a process that is all the more time consuming if you use a wheelchair? or is it accessible if you can simply go out the front door and travel without relying on a vehicle to get there in a timely manner?

is it "accessible" to be forced to rely on your car to get anywhere?

some of you make the assumption that cars should be banned and nothing else will change. that people will just have to walk through these giant, spaced-out neighborhoods and shopping districts that were so obviously made for cars. if you live in america, do you step out onto a sidewalk on a street that looks like this:

and feel like the environment is actively hostile to your existence? do you feel comfortable here? is this accessible to you? what if i want to go to the shops across the street? if im not in a car, i have to walk all the way down to an intersection to cross, or jaywalk and risk getting myself killed because the design of this street is so open and wide that people feel comfortable speeding.

^^^ this is a major arterial road in a commercial shopping district. the mall is here, ahead on the left, past the Red Lion sign. if you dont have a car and you want to go from target to the mall, you would have to cross 7 lanes of traffic at the Red Lion sign. thats ignoring having to travel through the massive parking lots taking up all the space. if we got rid of the parking lots the mall and target would probably be directly across the street from each other. if you cant afford a car (you probably shouldnt be shopping at target tbh) then is this accessible? please, tell me, is this accessible? would you prefer this over being able to freely move without a car? really?

[campgender]

Hi, my friend has a chronic illness that flares up sometimes and we've been wanting to hang out but it has gotten cancelled a couple times lately bc of her not feeling well enough on the day. I want to ask her how she feels cuz I care abt her a lot and want an update but 1, I don't want her to feel pressured or like I'm asking just to ask can we hang out now, and not bc I care abt how she's feeling (does that make sense? I may be overthinking this) and 2, I genuinely wanna know how she's doing but idk what to say if she responds with her not being better, sometimes u don't feel better and that's ok but I always want to offer comfort somehow or just convey my friendship? but I feel the same everytime and don't want to sound repetitive ?

Any thoughts?

this is really kind of you & it means so much to me that you want to support your friend & are putting so much thought into it! my response is inherently based in my own experience to an extent & everybody’s different, but a lot if not all of this is stuff i’ve heard regularly from other chronically ill people. of course, don’t say anything you don’t mean – if some of this isn’t the case for you, just adapt accordingly :)

i understand worrying about being repetitive but i think that’s totally okay to do! for one thing, it can be difficult to remember things period when you’re ill, especially during a flare, & for another, internalized + societal ableism is a hell of a force. it never hurts to have a reminder that not everyone is trying to force ableist expectations onto you + your friendship & that someone cares about you!

i think you can definitely tell your friend pretty much what you told me! like, “hey, it’s okay if you aren’t feeling up for responding but i just wanted to check on you! not trying to pressure you to hang out or anything, i just care about you & how you’re doing”

honestly the most important + supportive thing people have ever told me is that it’s okay if the answer is “bad.” i’m literally like surprised pikachu meme every time somebody offers to let me vent about having a rough time & then it helps me just to talk about it. it’s really socially unacceptable to talk about chronic pain & a lot of people get frustrated when you’re complaining about the same thing & there’s not really anything they can do, so just the opportunity to be like “yeah shit fucking sucks right now” means a lot.

obv the appropriateness of this depends on the person & their relationship to disability but most of the time i’m very like, radical acceptance / embracing / etc about the fact that i’m probably just gonna get sicker, so sometimes when i’m having a rough time emotionally & am like “what if i’m this bad for the rest of my life” my gf (who doesn’t have chronic pain / chronic illness) will say something like “then i can’t wait to be there with you ❤️” & it’s more meaningful to me than i can begin to put into words.

again everybody’s different but for me one of the biggest things is when disability stuff just… isn’t a big deal to the other person. which, it’s totally okay for you to need support from others when someone you care about is going through a hard time & when things change! but abled people are constantly horrified about like, every aspect of my life, so being able to talk casually about symptoms & somebody mirror the mood / tone i set – laugh if i’m joking, be upset about the ableism i experience & not my body itself if i’m complaining about people being weird about it, taking things as they come – is so affirming.

other things that have been helpful + meaningful for me are friends sending me notes, stickers, & art in the mail – having something tangible can make me feel more “real” & part of the world, something i struggle with due to being homebound – & peer support around medical neglect, which often just looks like talking to someone after a doctor’s appointment & them reaffirming my reality / experiences & saying i didn’t deserve to be treated that way.

oh one other change in language i’ve made over time & probably picked up from a few other ill people in my life is a sort of realistic encouragement – there’s not necessarily anything wrong with “i hope you feel better soon!” because like, i get that the message is well-intentioned, but it can be awkward & difficult to receive when you don’t know if that’s gonna happen. instead, i try to tell people something like “i hope you get a bit of relief soon” or “i hope things are a little easier tomorrow.” a 7/10 pain day may be horrifying for most people, but when you’ve had a streak of 9s, it can be a much-needed taking the edge off, & i try to make space for that breadth of experience in my language.

i’ve answered a few similar questions before so i’ll add my “asks” & “faq” tags on my chronic illness blog in the reblogs if you want to browse! much love to you & your friend and feel free to lmk if you have any other questions 💓💓

[cookinguptales]

Something I always think about a lot during disability/chronic illness/rare illness pride months is like... It is wild how often people will come up to me and want me to listen to some guilty secret they have re: disability and expect me to tell them it's okay.

Like... once I was waiting for my dad to bring the car up at the airport, and this guy approaches me and starts telling me why he'd never want to date a disabled woman. (I'm gay and completely uninterested in men, which made this whole interaction even more awkward.) And after talking about all the reasons why people like me would not make a good partner he turns those sad eyes on me like, "But that doesn't make me a bad person, does it? I'm not doing anything wrong. Like, you get it, don't you?"

You get it, don't you?

I hear that one a lot.

Like when the grad student teaching one of my classes at my university was chatting to me after class and told me that once she and her friends went to Disney World and pretended to be disabled to get onto the rides faster. I recognized the nervous laughter, the entreating look. The you get it, don't you?

I understand what these people are asking me for. They want absolution. They want this disabled person, maybe the first real disabled person they've ever talked to, to listen to their guilty secret and tell them they're okay. They're not a bad person. I don't mind. I don't judge them. I get it.

But frankly... I don't get it. These people often tell me that they've done things that make disabled people's lives actively worse. Disney has changed their policies re: disability because so many able-bodied people were abusing them. Companies and organizations walk back accommodation policies all the time because they're being abused. That grad student who pretended to be disabled actively made disabled people's lives harder.

And I don't really give a shit if one asshole dude doesn't want to date disabled women (probably better for those women, tbh) but I know how bad it feels to be ghosted on a dating app when you talk about accessibility, even when your profile is explicit about your disability. I know that I felt like I was not worth loving in spite of my disability for years because I knew that people like that guy would only see all the ways I'd slow them down.

Guys like that actively make us hate ourselves.

But like... it's wild how these people don't see how the only thing crueler than harboring these feelings and doing these things is making some random disabled person listen to their stories. My day was going great before some guy practically gave me a powerpoint about why I should never expect to have a relationship. I really enjoyed that class before I found out that my teacher had participated in the exact kind of ableist theft of accommodations that was currently making it difficult for me to get accommodations at that school.

They took this weight they were holding on their shoulders and then forced it onto mine -- and then expected me to comfort them. To tell them it was okay. To throw my fellow disabled folks under the bus.

And -- both of these times in particular, I was in situations where I was not really free to speak my mind. Alone with a big guy in a parking garage? Alone with the woman who would ultimately decide my grade for the class? The power differential there was huge. And whether they were consciously doing it or not, they were leveraging that power differential to try and force me to give them absolution.

I made noncommittal noises. Really, what else was I supposed to do? And even then, I could see the spark of disappointment and anger in their eyes. I was supposed to tell them it was okay that they'd hurt me and people like me. I was supposed to tell them they were still good.

But I didn't want to offer them absolution, and I was angry that they'd asked for it in the first place. I can't offer you forgiveness for something you know is wrong -- and that you've done nothing to fix. Moreover, I won't. You should feel bad that you hurt us. You should feel guilty. It's a shitty thing to do.

If you want to feel better about yourself, stop doing shitty things!

And I knew these people were still doing shitty things because dumping all this on me when I was just minding my own business was in and of itself a shitty thing. Trying to transfer their burden to me. Reminding me about the discrimination I have to face every day just so they could feel better. Expecting me to do emotional labor on command for strangers because it doesn't matter if I hurt so long as they feel good.

That's shitty! Don't do it! I already have to use physical crutches, don't try to turn me into an emotional one!

[aces-come-in-spades]

NOBODY LIKES THE OPENING BAND!: CHARACTER MASTERLIST

Please read all of the following information. This covers some basic in-universe mechanics and provides enough background information to interact with the characters, as well as some info on the characters themselves.

(btw. obligatory fuck you ryan seaman before we continue. i dont support that dickhead <333)

BE ADVISED: HEAVY RELIGIOUS THEMES, SUICIDE, AND GENOCIDE ARE DISCUSSED BELOW!

Nobody Likes the Opening Band! is a non-sequential series of fanfictions inspired by the bands I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME (idkhow) and Waterparks, and draws places, people, and other elements from each band's respective lore. Currently only one work, The Paris Manuscript, is being written. It is available to read on AO3. There is a planned second work, Nobody Likes the Opening Band, that will eventually exist.

Nobody Likes the Opening Band! mostly revolves around the plot of the second work, with the Manuscript serving as a sort of prequel. In Opening Band, a new family moves to the town Ryan Seaman lives in, and Ryan is determined to learn what secrets their son Dal is hiding. In the process of trying to uncover Dal's secrets, Ryan discovers Gloomtown, an anti-Purgatory where certain souls who suffered a great deal during their lives or whose lives were cut off before they could have much meaning go to rest before the end of the world that is also the world's source of magic.

In order to fully learn the truth about Dal, Ryan is forced to team up with his ex-friend and current arch-nemesis Awsten Knight, and Paris, a spirit from Gloomtown whose attatched himself to Awsten.

Gloomtown has an incredibly powerful energy that leaks through to Earth, where it soaks into the DNA of random people and mutates it. This mutation allows the person, once they are born, to inherit magical powers once they are 13. Powers can be literally anything.

PASCAL "CAL" PHYLLIS (#cal phyllis)

the only child of the couple that adopted ryan. he has a soul of gold and the strangest humor you've ever seen. his particularly likes to joke about being a capitalist (he is anything but one). also a fantastic matchmaker despite his inability to get a boyfriend! he just wants to kiss someone :<

the only main character without any magic powers. he makes up for it by being the best fucking cupcake baker you've ever met.

(he/him, gay, no magic. birthday october 4.)

likes: baking, eldritch horror, cats, playing pranks hates: messy spaces, tea fun fact: he starts out by crushing on dal but eventually loses interest. rumor has it he's secretly dating a boy named mikey way ;)

PARIS EVANGELINE (#paris)

harley's youngest and most difficult child. he's a shapeshifter and is a (literal) being of chaos.

he was born with his soul outside and detached from his body. he wears it on a chain around his neck, but since this is unnatural he's not quite right. using his powers drain him so he's almost always tired, but he tries to hide it via masking. also his wings don't really get used because flying drains him way more than magic.

due to all of this (and all the bullying his siblings did to him when he was younger, they are incredibly ableist and a few are homophobic) harley wouldn't let him out of gloomtown until one day, they introduced star to paris! at which point paris and star basically became a did system. (more on this when we get to star)

in order to stay alive, paris has to take pieces of human souls and attach them to his soul. he likes to latch onto certain people he really likes and refer to them as his host. at the time of nobody likes the opening band, awsten is paris's current host.

he's super duper flirty and touchy and emotional. and also wears whatever the fuck he wants because he's trying to appeal to humans and to him this means showing off a lot of skin, so he wears crop tops and shorts a lot (he loves them dw)

(genderfluid but often presents as male, pansexual, universal manifestation of chaos. no known birthday.)

likes: raising a ruckus, geese, gummy bears, cuddling hates: whaaaaaaaaat? hating something? impossible! he would never! ahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!! fun fact: he started out as my version of waterparks' character soulsucker but he literally turned into an oc this thing is nothing like the real soulsucker.

STAR EVANGELINE (#star)

paris's guardian.... demon? ghost? spirit who is basically an alter. when paris is stressed/anxious/upset or physically injured/in danger star will assume paris's physical form while paris takes on star's ghost form. star basically gets to have a body for once while paris recovers.

star is a gloom, a type of demon that was created to originally oversee and care for gloomtown. harley wasn't very big on them, seeing them as useless since harley was the new ruler of the place, so all the glooms were wiped out. star had snuck out and was exploring earth and thus escaped death, but they were captured on return and given to paris as a protector. one of star's wings was ripped out of their back, so they hide their wing under jackets cuz they're embarrassed to have anyone find out about this.

due to all the shit that's happened, star tends to close others off and acts incredibly hostile towards most people. they're really only soft towards paris and anyone that is a host/close to a host.

(they/them, aromantic, the last gloom in gloomtown. doesn't actually have a birthday but likes to celebrate it on november 2.)

likes: no one knows hates: everything, if their attitude is anything to go off of fun fact: star was the st*rfucker to soulsucker. again, it got way out of hand <33

HARLEY EVANGELINE (#harley)

a seraphim who, while fallen, never actually committed any sin. they were punished by getting reassigned to ruling gloomtown, and they wield this authority mercilessly. their divinity is what allows gloomtown to affect humans and give them magic.

somehow, they managed to give birth to 100 children.

there really isnt much known about them. they present themself as a benevolent and kind figure, but they hide a much more sinister and cruel personality

(they/she, aceflux, guardian of gloomtown. no known birthday.)

likes: no one knows. hates: no one knows this either. fun fact: they were inspired by bart harley jarvis from idkhow's music video for the song "WHAT LOVE?" (bart is this pink illuminati pyramid thing)

honorable mentions

RYAN SEAMAN: the protagonist of Nobody Likes the Opening Band and Cal's brother. He wasn't born with the Gloomtown DNA mutation, but accidentally fell into Gloomtown while conscious and met Maxx, a very temperamental snake who followed Ryan home and bit him. Ryan now has fangs and can discharge deadly venom by biting, but he usually tries to avoid using this power. Also, Maxx lives in his skin as a tattoo. LIAM FORD: ryan's ex-best friend, who killed himself when he was barely even thirteen after escaping the clutches of tellexx, a research company that had kidnapped and tortured him one summer. he now haunts the town as a ghost.

honorable mentions open for asks

AWSTEN KNIGHT (#awsten): (he/him, bisexual) the local spellcaster, enchantment weaver, and potion-brewer with a fondness for doing the most insane and impulsive shit you've ever seen. he's also paris's current host and claims that paris is a little bitch (which he can be, to be fair). he and ryan used to be friends, fell out after liam's suicide, and some time after dal moves to town, they become friends again before they eventually start dating.

DALLON "DAL" WEEKES (#dal weekes): (he/him, straight) harley's favorite brat, who went "MIA," so to speak. for a few years after extracting his powers from himself. ryan, awsten, and paris had to work together to return dal's powers. He is known as vengeance, and his magic allows him to summon knives that inflict death or a curse on anyone pierced by one. he's also suffered a lot of emotional abuse and experiences a good deal of religious guilt.

[st-armand]

Pixel Play

( Reposted from @armands-sanctum ) Author’s Note: Request from @blueberry-soda57​ <3 Shout out to all my raccoons in the club, after finishing this I WILL be playing Maplestory, I kinda rushed it but everything i write can get multiple parts so :P

Content Warnings: Pre-established relationship, suggestive, being a basement dweller. Not proofread (yet ill get to it in the morning)

Word Count: 1.3K

Masterlist

Hobie doesn’t like the word ‘Loser’ he feels that insults like that are always based in ableism, and as an autistic person (He’s sensory seeking) very wary of words rooted in ableist histories.

That being said he CHORTLES when you call yourself a ‘Loser Gamer’, he definitely sees why.

Early on in your relationship before he disclosed his identity as Spider-Man, he would text you before and after patrols, like at 4 AM

“Luv you awake?”

“Wanna crash a’ your flat for a bit?”

A beat in time, a few moments, and then a response would be received on his end, sat on the roof of a random building, leaning lazily on the fire escape, mask dripping sweat down his neck.

“K”

“Doors unlocked, busy rn”

Busy..? 

When he’s seen you during the day he has to PHYSICALLY force you to attend events; shows, galleries, demonstrations and protests, and you fight him off like a feral cat being trapped for a spay and neuter.

Your preferred way to spend your day, is sleeping, to the point where you would jump up at 4 PM, haven’t eaten anything or taken your meds. Hobie would watch the hours of the day pass by waiting for you to wake up, like Beth and Mary of Nazareth waiting for the resurrection of Lazarus.

He would take the initiative to get up (Usually 12-1 he’s a late riser too, but he pales in comparison to you) before you, feed your pets and make a quick breakfast or lunch, setting them aside for when you would arise later.

You always wake up in a daze, going in and out of sleep for an hour before fully getting up, and even then you made no plans to go outside and do anything, preferring the isolated 4 walls of your space, a sanctuary in the frenzied world of Earth-138.

In the hours you sleep he admires (snoops around) your space, gingerly looking at the figurines that grace your desks and shelves, animated characters in alternative outfits, and meticulously designed platforms, or looking over your multitudes of gaming consoles.

You don’t let him use them without explicit permission, you definitely don’t want Hobie to mess with your save data, he’s a genius but he never got the chance to be acquainted with gaming in his formative years because he was too busy surviving homelessness.

Hobie’s favorite aspect of your home is your computer setup, Hobie is a genius but he’s always blown away by the determination and time you put into modifying your setup.

Hard drives, Processors, Logic Board strewn about, cables interwoven between each other sloppily, making the small space even smaller and cramped, bed planted right next to your set up so you can wake and be connected onto the Wired as easy it is to breathe. (think the computer setup Lain had towards the end of the anime)

“Ya enjoyin’ yourself in your ‘obbit hole?”

“All connected yeah?”

When he does stagger his way to your place, you’re wide awake, furiously inputting on your keyboard or controller, cursing and hissing into your headset.

Brows furrowed in concentration as you quickly input combos, blocks, grabs.

Maybe you join parties with people on MMOs, your on call with them screaming and sniggering at the actions of the pixels that represent you and your friends, trying to complete obstacles, puzzles, and defeat bosses.

The sounds of your fingers clicking and pressing reverberate the walls from the sheer force, legs lifted up into your lap, in the most uncomfortable posture possible as you ignore the aches in your muscles to get one last game in, one last match, or a few hundred more mobs.

Hobie sits down softly on the bed beside you, watching you intently as you completely disregard his presence (he learns soon that this isn’t on purpose, you're just concentrated on your daily quests and bosses)

When you finally notice there’s something in the space with you, your take a slight glance behind you and scream, eyes not adjusted to the dark room from the searing LEDs of your multiple monitors, your eyes can’t register its Hobie.

“Oy pretty ‘s me, don’t go yellin’ like that someone’s gunna think youre dead”

“Oh fuck Hobie, I thought you were a ghost or something…”

At this point he’s fucking exhausted, and he really wants to snuggle, so he whines like a child trying to get you off the game, or gets an attitude at you when you say, 

“Please Hobie, baby, one more game and I’ll be off” 

cue the sun coming up as your still playing and Hobie knocked out drooling into one of your pillows, wicks splayed out and bent around because he couldn’t be bothered to put on a headscarf or a bonnet. 

(its giving those videos where gfs/wives unplug consoles so their partner pays attention to tasks around the house, except Hobie doesn’t know which chord does what and he doesn’t want to break anything considering it means so much to you.)

Currently in your relationship, Hobie (who can be quite creepy) after patrol likes to take off his heavy docs on your fire-escape, he will watch you game from outside the window, waiting for the perfect opportunity to… SLAM on your window, sending you flying 5 inches into the air, and cowering into your bed, abandoning your game and dying in the process.

After you’ve calmed down, he’ll slink into the room laughing hysterically,

“Shoulda seen your face luv, scared shitless!”

“Hobie the next time you make me die in a game; I’m letting you bleed out on my fire escape.”

You also act as his ‘person in the chair’, keeping track of coordinates, or structural plans to buildings in the city, digging through archives as he brings webbed justice done onto the heads of villains and criminals of all sorts, frantically hacking into CCTV cameras to keep track of his fights and warn him of sneak attacks or other assailants entering the quarrel. Desk littered with snacks, crumbs, and empty soda cans like “Valley Mist”.

Hobie sometimes gets shit from acquaintances at bars or venues who tease him about your appearance.

“Hobie, my bro, they’re just so plain, they just don’t have the look”

Comments like this piss Hobie off so much, some people don’t have the energy to perform beauty, some people just don’t want to and they shouldn’t have to, no matter which category you fall in or between.

Plus regardless he thinks you look adorable, hair strewn about from waking up at 3 PM, a treasure trove of comfortable sweats, adidas track sets, slides and comfy slippers.

But when you do perform beauty, a strike of pleasure ripples down his spine, you can’t blame him, he does forget how good you look sometimes.

“All dolled up, what’s the occasion, yeah?”

“Lookin’ bare leng today”

On days he’s feeling especially needy, he wraps his arms around your torso while playing, pinching and groping at your chest, trying to annoy you enough to the point where you stop playing and give him some kind of attention.

When you don’t he’ll resort to sucking deep purple bruises into your neck and shoulders that has you whimpering and crying softly at the pain, you immediately mute yourself in the game call.

If not that, he’ll stand next to you,

“Lemme ‘ave at it luv, wanna see whats goin’ on in this thing.”

(I play MMOs, Maplestory specifically so this is geared towards that)

You don’t let Hobie play on your characters where your key bindings are specified by class or fighting type, you let him choose his class and make a fresh character, he’ll start playing, frustrated at the boring leveling in the beginning.

He quits cause it’s so time consuming, but you end up grinding his levels a tad after every time he plays so he has new quests and areas to explore.

Regardless he loves his partner no matter what eccentricities they have, he takes every part of the package and values every piece of the puzzle.

[under-clouds-and-stars]

a friend of mine killed herself because she couldnt get an abortion after being raped.

assuming that this is true, I am sorry for you, your friend, and her baby. I will pray for all three.

what she needed was help. whether her fears were purely psychological for fear of bearing her rapist's child, lack of physical resources, or even social stigma, all of which are perfectly valid fears, abortion still cannot be justified. now, tragically, both she and her child are dead, but that is not the fault of pro-life laws. it is the fault of those who put her in that situation, and those who left her there.

abortion being as normalized as it is and treated as just a woman's choice leads to society not having adequate protection and aid for desperate women. the amount of men who feel just A OK leaving the mother of their child because "that's her choice" and "she has options" manifest to that fact. just because a state has killed the root of the problem from its laws, doesn't mean that society as a whole is caught up.

lack of mental help and resources cause deaths like hers. not to mention the incessant scare tactics of the abortion industry that convince women that single motherhood is hell a/o that putting a child up for adoption is cruel. they do this in addition to demonizing pregnancy centers that almost always offer 10x more effective support than anything they have to offer these poor women.

even if it was solely a lack of being able to disassociate the child from the monster who hurt her, which is most likely not her fault that she felt that way, that still does not justify giving a baby a death sentence. rape victims need help and support, but one's need for help and support do not override the fundamental rights of others, least of all the right to life. and no, it is no way similar to self defense. a baby being in their mother's womb is the most natural thing in the world. the body is designed to adapt to it. a fetus are not parasitic or violent, and the external feelings of the mother about them cannot change these scientific facts, no matter how understandable they are. a rapist assaults, an unborn baby does not, and using someone's dependence on you for support as a reason for killing them is inherently eugenic and ableist.

i have loved ones who have been sexually abused and hurt. friends who struggle with providing for their children in section 8 housing on disability. i am under no illusions about the tragedy and pain of these situations.

abortion is still never justified. ever.

a fetus is a person, just as much as an infant is. just as much as your friend was. science and the vast majority of abortionists agree. i don't care if some people philosophically disagree with that, they can't force their beliefs about life onto another person.

i cannot judge your friend's heart or state of mental clarity when she decided to end her and her baby's life. but nothing can make what she did ok. if she was genuinely out of her mind when she did this, the way to stop further cases like hers is an improvement in access to mental help, which i am all for. but we cannot, nor should we try to secure the rights of any part of humanity by depriving another part of theirs.

[aspd-culture]

ASPD culture is being wary of other pwASPD because you know they might be more likely to do to you what you do to other people

(Is this internalized ableism? 💀 I’m like this with prosocials too because I project my intentions and things I’m capable of onto them but I know other ASPD can have a greater chance of actually doing so)

I wouldn’t call it internalized ableism if maybe a bit close to it? But it’s understandable and a symptom of the disorder to distrust people and feel nervous about getting hurt so it’s somewhat of a gray area, especially considering you also do that with prosocial people. If you’re not actively pushing that pwASPD are bad, dangerous people, but just avoiding them in your personal life (including online) for the sake of your mental health, then that’s okay in my eyes - even for non-disordered people. It’s okay in my opinion to say something isn’t inherently harmful but you need to avoid it for your health and comfort.

The point where it becomes problematic ableism imo is when you start pushing that concept to anyone else, mistreating other pwASPD for having it, and/or mistreating yourself because you have it. Beyond that, I think what you’re doing has reasonable rationale considering how the symptoms of ASPD fuel the fear and distrust of other people.

Cis men aren’t inherently harmful, but I’m wary of them and limit my interaction with new cis men because of my past experience and statistics leading me to conclude that I’m more at risk with them than trans people, nonbinary people, cis women, etc. No one in the PTSD community calls this unreasonable, and I’d put the mindset you describe in a similar box although not exactly the same.

I wouldn’t worry about the things you do privately to keep yourself safe as long as they aren’t hurting anyone. It’s one of those symptoms that I think it’s more unhealthy to try and force yourself to unlearn because you’re just going to feel anxious and distressed and might end up being more ableist directly to pwASPD if you force it. Unlearning symptoms of a disorder that cannot be cured is about making them less harmful to yourself and others, so doing that for a symptom that’s causing isn’t beneficial and is just taking away time you could be using to unlearn any harmful symptoms you might struggle with - plus getting in the way of you just surviving with a PD which is hard enough. If you feel you can try to unlearn it at some point without it damaging your mental health, then yeah it’d be worth doing.

This is all just my opinion, but personally it doesn’t bother me if someone isn’t comfortable around me based on my PD as long as they don’t spread that idea or make it my problem.

Plain text below the cut:

I wouldn’t call it internalized ableism if maybe a bit close to it? But it’s understandable and a symptom of the disorder to distrust people and feel nervous about getting hurt so it’s somewhat of a gray area, especially considering you also do that with prosocial people. If you’re not actively pushing that pwASPD are bad, dangerous people, but just avoiding them in your personal life (including online) for the sake of your mental health, then that’s okay in my eyes - even for non-disordered people. It’s okay in my opinion to say something isn’t inherently harmful but you need to avoid it for your health and comfort.

The point where it becomes problematic ableism imo is when you start pushing that concept to anyone else, mistreating other pwASPD for having it, and/or mistreating yourself because you have it. Beyond that, I think what you’re doing has reasonable rationale considering how the symptoms of ASPD fuel the fear and distrust of other people.

Cis men aren’t inherently harmful, but I’m wary of them and limit my interaction with new cis men because of my past experience and statistics leading me to conclude that I’m more at risk with them than trans people, nonbinary people, cis women, etc. No one in the PTSD community calls this unreasonable, and I’d put the mindset you describe in a similar box although not exactly the same.

I wouldn’t worry about the things you do privately to keep yourself safe as long as they aren’t hurting anyone. It’s one of those symptoms that I think it’s more unhealthy to try and force yourself to unlearn because you’re just going to feel anxious and distressed and might end up being more ableist directly to pwASPD if you force it. Unlearning symptoms of a disorder that cannot be cured is about making them less harmful to yourself and others, so doing that for a symptom that’s causing isn’t beneficial and is just taking away time you could be using to unlearn any harmful symptoms you might struggle with - plus getting in the way of you just surviving with a PD which is hard enough. If you feel you can try to unlearn it at some point without it damaging your mental health, then yeah it’d be worth doing.

This is all just my opinion, but personally it doesn’t bother me if someone isn’t comfortable around me based on my PD as long as they don’t spread that idea or make it my problem.