#it’s a wangxian ao3 fic that comes to mind from time to time cause the premise is so wonderful | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

rosethornewrites · 3 years ago

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Fics I read this week!

MDZS/The Untamed, entirely. Including Tumblr fics here now, even if I shared them as well.

A lot of these are super short since I decided to embark on a journey to clear my AO3 “Marked For Later” list of anything under 3k words by reading them.

This is also a lot of fanfiction and I might have a problem. Any fanfiction addict support groups out there?

Also, I learned that I can only post 100 links. So this is going up early and I’ll separate the Not Rated, E, and M ones into a different post for next week.

Finished:

Not Rated (or Tumblr fics):

Parents, by @bloody-bee-tea

Untitled, by @mondengel

Untitled, by @cerusee

Xue Yang - The Third Jade of Gusu, by inawritingfrenzy

As Long as You're Here, by Aitheriomeraki

You are the last person I need to tell me exactly what I already know. You’re going to tell me to go back to cultivating the righteous path. You’re going to tell me that this is against the principles of a cultivator. I’m going to hear you drone on and on about what’s wrong with what I’m doing. You’re going to tell me that I’m acting like a pure disgrace, completely out of line, extremely unhinged and unruly and every other word your Lan vocabulary can muster up.” His words felt heavy but unstoppable, tears making their way to his eyes.

“You’re-” He was about to continue before getting cut off.

“Wei Ying… zhiji.” Lan Wangji breathed out like a plea, like a prayer. -------------- OR Lan Wangji talks to Wei Wuxian the day after killing Wen Chao.

Things we lost in the fire, by KatAnni

Three instances in Lan Wangji's life that involved fire. One of them certainly ends better than the others.

OR Wangxian can be cute in any situation, even when someone sets fire to their inn.

Sleep Talk, by breezebrocolis

"...But being awakened through such ungodly hours is worth it after all, because Wei Wuxian discovered that, contrary to popular belief about his boyfriend's sleeping habits, there’s a moment when Lan Zhan sleep talks, and he's the only one who knows it."

and

"...for now, after all and a year more, he'd never choose to have those lonesome minutes back. It turns out that filling the gaps with emptiness was necessary once, but it doesn't really fit him anymore. Lan Wangji has Grace on his side for now, the print of Wei Ying's delicate fingers into his skin."

In other words, a study about WangXian's sleeping habits.

Hold On, by voxnoxsox

“And really,” Wei Ying continued, “it makes no sense. Why would they not want to hug you, Lan Zhan, or, like… Do you warn them off or something? Give them the ol’ icy Lan glare?”

“No,” Lan Zhan said, when it was clear a response was required. His mind was a little preoccupied with Wei Ying’s hands still running up and down, up and down.

Rated E:

The Dreams of Youth, by Sami (25 chapters)

"Mother, I have to go, with or without you. Please come with me."

"A-Zhan, you're five years old," she says.

"With or without you, Mother," he pleads. "Please come with me."

Lan Wangji starts again from the beginning.

Rough and Tumble, by SugarMilkTea (3 chapters)

Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian are paired together for sparring, because of course they are.

Wei Wuxian is better than the rest of the disciples, because of course he is - so Lan Wangji takes him to another field to train privately.

Things escalate, because of course they do.

and if we choose to fall (who's to say it isn't flight?), by KiaraSayre (2 chapters)

Wei Wuxian has an idea and makes a talisman. A sexy talisman.

to live this way is not for the meek, by la_muerta

Yiling Laozu and his band The Restless Dead are one of the biggest names in the rock scene, playing to thousands of screaming fans in sold-out concerts all over the world.

But underneath the black leather, makeup, and untouchable, arrogant facade is a side of Wei Ying that only Lan Zhan gets to see.

Awareness, by syriala (last in a series)

Awareness is slow to come to Jiang Cheng, mostly because he doesn’t want to be aware. He’s warm and comfortable and Jiang Xiuying is bound to be still around and that is really all Jiang Cheng needs in life.

But then there’s an open mouthed kiss to the hinge of his jaw, Jiang Xiuying slowly trailing his way down Jiang Cheng’s throat, and it’s enough to get Jiang Cheng’s eyes open, however reluctant he might be.

Jiang Xiuying seemingly knows him better than Jiang Cheng does himself because he is already looking up at Jiang Cheng, his eyes sparkling and a teasing grin on his lips.

“Good morning,” Jiang Cheng says, his voice still rough from sleep and Jiang Xiuying leans up to capture Jiang Cheng’s lips in a kiss.

The heat behind it tells Jiang Cheng exactly where Jiang Xiuying wants to take this today, and Jiang Cheng can’t say that he minds too much.

yours for the taking, by SugarMilkTea

“There’s still time to back out, you know,” Wei Ying says, quiet enough that even the attendants waiting at the corners of their table won’t hear.

Lan Wangji pauses in the middle of reaching for the sash on Wei Ying’s—on his husband’s—outer robes. A pit opens in his stomach. His hand falls to his lap, and he lifts his eyes to meet Wei Ying’s. “Is that what you want?”

---

The components of the marriage ceremony are easy in theory. The handfasting, the bows, the feast... and the Taking.

housed by your warmth, by wangxiians

wei wuxian may never grow to enjoy mornings but he enjoys this, he really enjoys this – stolen time together, bodies reuniting, waking up before the world.

Rated M:

Heaven Hath No Fury, by Lady Mythos (Lady_Mythos)

The two biggest mistakes Yu Ziyuan has made are as follows: assuming Wei Wuxian was the cause of all her problems and assuming Cangse Sanren was dead.

Or, Cangse Sanren has a lot of things to say to the bitch that abused her son.

weird and awkward, by sami (3rd in a series)

At the age of sixteen, Lan Zhan falls in love, somewhat against his will.

Have Your Cake and Eat it Too, by adrian_kres (4 chapters)

Like half of all sound-tied people, Wei Ying was born with words in his heart and needing the melody they belong to. It’s his soul marker, and he’s been searching for his soulmate his whole life. Things change when he hears a tune being hummed in a cafe that matches his lyrics perfectly. Except he didn’t see who was humming it! To help, his brother’s soulmate puts him in contact with the beautiful pianist Lan Wangji, who makes Wei Ying question if he wants to find his soulmate at all…

Until The End, by abCEE (40 chapters)

"When I - when I tied my ribbon around our wrists, I knew what I was doing and I privately honored it." Wei Wuxian's brows continued to meet as he tried to understand where the conversation was going until realization dawned on him. "Wa - wait! Lan Zhan, is it what I think it is?!!" "It is usually done at the end of a wedding ceremony -" "What-" "But it could have been acknowledged as an engagement." "Lan Zhan!" He cannot believe what he is hearing now. "But my ancestor revealed herself -" "And we bowed… three times. We bowed, Lan Zhan!"

In which wangxian are married since the Cold Pond Cave incident, knows how proper communication works, and had confessed in the middle of the Sunshot Campaign. Things went up and down from there.

Breaking The Ice, by aflaminghalo

“Why are are you asking for punishment?”

Bring Your Honor, Bring Your Shame, by Terri Botta (Isilwath) (21 chapters, third in a series)

Nie HuaiSang has a problem. His brother is losing his mind.

Rated T:

don't close your eyes, by howodd5ever

In which Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian actually talk about the porn book.

Another Road, by Rynne

Something in the Guanyin Temple goes wrong. When Lan Wangji opens his eyes, he's fifteen again.

Phobia, by yougetsomekisses

What if Lan Wangji had been thrown in that dungeon with Wei Wuxian?

Snow Hunt, by InsanitysxCreation

A short scene of a winter hunt.

Entirely self indulgent, in that the idea of Lan Wangji in white leather gloves arrived in my brain and wouldn't let me continue until I'd written this.

真金不怕火炼 | True Gold Fears No Fire, by adrian_kres

In the immediate aftermath of a successful Sunshot Campaign, Wei Ying is kissed by Lan Zhan at the Phoenix Mountain Hunt while blindfolded. But when the blindfold comes off, Lan Zhan is nowhere to be found. Now, Wei Ying must deal with this heartbreak on top of forced therapy he was mandated to complete due to using demonic cultivation to end the war. Through it all, Wei Ying learns he has value, and that his assumptions about what happened at the hunt may not be entirely correct.

Fantasy, by snowberryrose (3 chapters)

In which Wen Qing leaves Or: Wen Qing rescues herself

Canon divergence from episode 20

Chapter 2: Qin Su’s choice Chapter 3: Xue Yang’s end

Four Parts Honey and One Part Vinegar, by masked (6 chapters)

“You know,” Ouyang Zizhen says thoughtfully over dinner one day, “I’ve never seen Wei-qianbei get jealous before.”

Lan Jingyi pauses for the briefest second, remembers the sect rule of keeping silence during meals, and decidedly forgoes it. “What?”

“Well,” Ouyang Zizhen continues, “Hanguang-jun always has a lot of admirers everywhere we go, but Wei-qianbei never seems to mind it.”

“Why are we talking about this?” Jin Ling asks flatly.

Four times Wei Wuxian doesn't get jealous, and the one time he does.

sweet dreams, by ShippersList

Distance won’t hinder Wei Wuxian from giving his Lan Zhan a goodnight kiss.

Sugar Baby, by nirejseki

“Huaisang,” Nie Mingjue said, and uh oh, that sounded like his ‘bad news’ voice. “We need to talk about your spending.”

That was worse than Nie Huaisang had thought.

“Is the talk going to be about how amazingly economical I am in making intelligent and aesthetically appropriate purchases?” he asked hopefully, clutching his latest and most aesthetic fan.

“Oddly enough,” his brother said, “no.”

Somehow, Nie Huaisang hadn’t thought so.

He was...No, He was Incompetent, by Corundum_Creations

He was Lan Wangji, a Twin Jade of the Lan Clan and he could face anything... so how did he become so incompetent with taking his Wei Ying and hiding him away?

The Resentful Cultivator Who Cried 'I'm Fine', by Mikkeneko

"Who's possessed?" another voice joined the scrum, and Wei Wuxian moaned in despair as Jiang Cheng came marching over to join the rest of the party, glaring daggers at Wei Wuxian for being the source of all this trouble. Purple lightning crackled on his wrist as his eyes narrowed. "This idiot got possessed? I can take care of that with Zidian! Stand back!"

"Ahaha, Jiang Cheng, there's no need for that!" he protested hurriedly. "Really, I'm not possessed!"

"Ah," Lan Jingyi nodded knowingly. "That's exactly what someone who was possessed and trying to throw us off the trail would say!"

---

While on a night-hunt with his friends and family, Wei Wuxian takes a near miss from a dangerous beast. Fortunately he wasn't hurt... but for some reason, they have trouble believing him when he says I'm fine.

Why I Can’t Help But Love Red, by spiralingbutmakeitanimerelated

Lan Wangji takes a bath after a night hunt. Wei Wuxian has questions about the night he branded himself.

Not Till Then Dare I Part From You, by forgottenenvy

WangXian share a tender moment as Lan Wangji braids flowers into Wei Wuxian's hair.

Snowmelt, by sugar_shoal

Lan Zhan has been badly injured on a night-hunt. Wei Wuxian panics only a little. Jiang Cheng drags them all to a nearby abandoned hut to wait out the encroaching blizzard.

Head Empty, Only Wei Ying, by nana_banana

Wei Ying is getting married? To someone not Lan Wangji? Fuck. Not if Lan Wangji has anything to say about it.

sparrow heart, by CeliaBlair24 (fourth in a series)

They pass notes through the spaces between their desks about nonsensical, inconsequential things. About the weather and birds, romance novels, and the forest behind the Cloud Recesses where they spend all their afternoons playing.

And Wei Wuxian is smart, both by the books and on his feet. If he wanted to, he could easily play Lan-xiansheng’s favorite class pet --studious and diligent about being studious; creative besides-- but he doesn’t. He listens to Lan-xiansheng and Jiang Wanyin’s complaints with half an ear and when all is said and done, he turns his back on them both and greets Nie Huaisang with his cheeky smile.

Otherwise known as "Nie Huaisang falls into like."

Retrospective on the State of the Field: Qinghe Patron X (QPX) Studies, by bladedweaponsandswishycoats (jeweledichneumon)

"Qinghe Patron X, eh?" Nie Huaisang chuckles, noticing the heading. Licking his lips, he circles the listing for the conference panel with a yellow highlighter. Despite the moniker having become common several years ago, he still gets a kick out of it. Of course he'd have to go to that one. He takes a moment to feel the faint touch of regret that he isn't on the panel himself; it is always more fun messing with people as a panelist than trying to rely on the Q&A period to say something provocative but relevant.

In which immortal cultivator Nie Huaisang likes to fuck around with scholars attempting to study what they think they know about him, and other shenanigans he gets up to (both with and without the help of his friends) in the modern age.

The year is 2021. Lan Wangji still goes where the chaos is, though these days that can mean a lot more than night hunts. Especially when Wei Wuxian and Nie Huaisang are dedicated to making sure being immortal never gets boring.

A Story for the Ages, by Supernova_Sage

Lan Wangji saunters over to the mystery section. He can hear people whispering, but he isn’t close enough to make sense of the conversation. The lilt in the voice makes it sound like one person is asking a question. Hmm. If he can hear whispering, they’re still being far too loud. He shakes his head and continues his browsing. He pulls his phone out to check the time. It’s nearly 6p. He really should get home. He still needs to feed the bunnies and feed himself and look over emails and—

He stops in his tracks. Stops when he sees the book that he’s been waiting to check out for months now. Every time he’s stopped by, though, it’s been checked out by someone else. And now it’s finally here. Sitting on the shelf in front of him. Once he manages to collect himself, he reaches for it. His fingers don’t touch the spine of the book, though. Instead, he finds his fingers brushing against the fingers of another.

DanTian - Into the Dark (LWJ), by ArchiveWriter (fourth in a series)

Wangji's memory holds images of Wei Ying. Wangji does penance by reliving his memories, and by making sure Wei Ying is loved. Wangji burns the millet porridge he's supposed to stir whilst Wei Ying fetches water for tea.

chasing echoes, by SWANPYRE

Lan Wangji must learn to co-exist with what he has learned his entire life to despise.

Snowfall, by nightflower

During a winter storm in Cloud Recesses, Wangji's old scars ache. Wei Ying takes care of him.

relics of love, by cl410

“Oh my god. Oh my god.”

Lan Zhan pinched the bridge of his nose. “The bunnies were almost eaten.”

“Our son was almost traumatized for life,” Wei Ying said, choking on a laugh. “Lan Zhan, he almost witnessed a double homicide on our own balcony.” He wheezed with laughter, clutching his ribs.

“We will install higher locks,” Lan Zhan said grimly.

Rated G:

A-Yuan's guide to eat the rich (a.k.a. How A-Yuan single handedly stopped a siege from happening and saved everyone), by fanficaddictXOXO

A-Yuan is only three years old. But he knows many things. He knows how to write his name. He knows potatoes are better than radishes (Xian gege said so). But the most important thing he knows is that the handsome gege with a white forehead ribbon is rich.

Obviously You Hate Me, by Sarehz

Wei Wuxian leans across the round table. "Okay, this isn't going to work."

From across the very same table, Lan Wangji raises one puzzled eyebrow. "Mn?"

"This!" Wei Wuxian gestures between them.

Begotten, by ecorie (6 chapters)

“He’s mine.” He echoed what had once been teasingly said in jest, and added, “This is my son.”

Against all odds and without a choice, Lan Zhan brings A-Yuan back to Cloud Recesses. Xichen keeps his brother’s secrets, and shields the child when Lan Zhan could not.

Alone Stands the Quiet, by ecorie

The story of the Yin Iron starts with a celestial war and ends with Lan Sizhui.

A Good Plan, by nirejseki

“The…Lan sect?” Meng Yao said doubtfully. “Are you sure?”

“I am,” his mother said, her mouth tight. She looked upset, the way she always did these days when he referenced, intentionally or otherwise, the original plan that she had had to send him to join his father, sect leader of Lanling Jin. She’d raised Meng Yao on a steady diet of stories of what his life would be like when his father finally took him back the way he’d promised her he would, stories that had filled his days and nights for years and years and years, and then just last year she’d suddenly stopped talking about it entirely. It was as if the person who’d told those stories had nothing to do with her.

Meng Yao didn’t know what had happened, but he assumed it must have been pretty bad.

“It'll be a good fit,” she added.

The Late Great Custody Debate, by stiltonbasket (5 chapters)

"You owe me child support," Lan Zhan blurts, before Wei Wuxian can open his mouth to say hello to him. "Take responsibility."

Or, the one where Lan Wangji's pet rabbit has a better love life than he does, and single father Wei Wuxian develops a healthy fear of attorneys, courtesy of his next-door neighbor.

Switcheroo, by nirejseki

Mo Xuanyu thought that this Wei Wuxian person whose body he’d stolen must have been a really interesting person, mostly because he’d been here for three days so far and nobody’d noticed the switch yet.

A Kiss for you, my love, by Speechless_since_1998

"Ladies and gentlemen."

Suddenly the attention of the whole hall turned to Nie Huaisang, near the orchestra with a microphone in one hand and a glass of champagne in the other, "On this wonderful evening I would like to share with you all the happiness I feel. for a wonderful couple who got married today. " Wait a minute did he say marriage? He must have heard right, even Lan Zhan had stiffened. “Let's give him a wonderful round of applause. To Wei Ying and Lan Zhan newlyweds. " Hot shit. They weren't supposed to attract attention.

The attention of the room focused on them, whispers in the crowd, some scandalized, some excited. Nie Huaisang motioned for him to keep the game, but what was she supposed to do ?! "Lan Zhan, we mustn't ..." He didn't have time to finish the sentence as Lan Zhan kissed him. In front of everyone.

Soulmates, by Yacs_Weasley

Ever since he was a little boy, Wangji had longed to find his soulmate.

Stay with me, by KatAnni

Sizhui's memories come to him in pieces, and some of them in dreams. This time, he dreams of Wei Wuxian putting him in a tree. He runs to the Jingshi immediately, to find his Baba.

The truth, by syriala (first in a series)

“Do you even remember a single person of those you killed after the war?” he demands to know and Jiang Cheng turns his glare on him.

“Why should I?” Jiang Cheng asks and a fearful hush falls over the crowd. “Do any of you remember even a single person you killed in your lives?” he asks them and is met with a pretty telling silence.

“You’re a monster,” someone whispers, but in the quiet it rings out loud and clear.

Jiang Cheng has heard these words a lot in the past sixteen years, and so he simply smiles at them, even though they sting like always.

He reminds himself that the people that matter know the truth, that they know him for who he truly is, and that it has to be enough.

Boys, by nirejseki

“Hey,” Lao Nie protested mildly. “Who’s the father here, me or you?”

“If a-die wants a new wife, little uncle will find one that isn’t inclined to kill him.”

That sounded like a recitation.

“Then what’s even the point,” Lao Nie grumbled, and reached out to ruffle his son’s hair, enjoying how Nie Mingjue yelped when he did, glaring up at him with offended dignity.

Loss, by FlutterFyre

Lan Wangji knows something is wrong.

Hearsay, by syriala (second in a series)

“A girl went missing a few days back,” Wei Wuxian says, voice serious, and Jiang Cheng can just imagine the accusatory look on his face. “Coincidentally you were seen in that area during the same time.”

“So?” Jiang Cheng wants to know and Wei Wuxian makes a frustrated sound.

“What did you do with her?” Wei Wuxian asks him, even though he clearly already made up an answer for himself.

An ally, by syriala (third in a series)

“I just don’t want you to force yourself to face them,” Jiang Cheng finally says and Jiang Xiuying smiles at him.

“I’m not forcing myself. I am going on my own free will. It will be fine. And besides, Lan Xichen was never the reason I left.”

“But he didn’t stop you either,” Jiang Cheng mutters, and then rolls his eyes. “Fine. Accompany me, see if I care.”

“All I see is you caring,” Jiang Xiuying honestly gives back and Jiang Cheng flushes bright red.

Escalation, by syriala (fourth in a series)

“How can you lie to him like that?” Lan Wangji wants to know but it seems to be morbid curiosity more than anything else, because he goes right on. “You’re coming with me to the Cloud Recesses. There will be a trial.”

“A trial,” Jiang Cheng scoffs out, because it’s a farce and nothing more.

Lan Wangji has already decided on his sentence. And they all know it's going to be death.

Resolve, by syriala (fifth in a series)

“Regarding the accusations made against me today,” he starts and cuts his glare over to Sect Leader Yao, who has the good grace to shrink back at the venom in that glare, “I have something to say.”

“Speak,” Lan Wangji demands, but he doesn’t sound too sure all of a sudden, doesn’t seem too happy with the proceedings, and Jiang Cheng does rather enjoy the feeling of triumph it brings him.

“I am innocent. I did not kill any demonic cultivators, nor did I torture them.”

His voice rings out in the courtyard because everyone is silent for two seconds, but then chaos erupts. The voices calling him a liar are the kinder ones, and Jiang Cheng shakes his head at them.

“And I have proof,” he continues, raising his voice so that it carries over the others.

Devotion - Gather, by syriala (sixth in a series)

“What?” Jiang Cheng asks, because for once he is in no immediate danger of being murdered by the other Sects and Jiang Cheng really doesn’t think that look is fair.

“You absolute asshole,” Jiang Xiuying hisses at him and Jiang Cheng knows that if he wasn’t injured Jiang Xiuying would try to slap him over the head or shake him until he sees sense.

“What? What did I do now?” Jiang Cheng wants to know because he was asleep! There is no way he could have done something to upset Jiang Xiuying like this!

“I don’t even know where to start,” Jiang Xiuying says and starts to pace Jiang Cheng’s room, without giving any thought to the fact that this is Jiang Cheng’s bedroom and he really shouldn’t be here.

Well, Jiang Cheng is not going to say that to him, because with the mood Jiang Xiuying is in right now it wouldn’t go over well for Jiang Cheng, Sect Leader or not. Not that he actually cares anyway.

It’s Jiang Xiuying after all.

Home in Lotus Pier, by syriala (seventh in a series)

Jiang Cheng's angry frown turns into a confused frown when he sits down for breakfast and finds a box next to his bowl of congee.

“What is this?” he asks into the room, because someone is bound to be around, but he doesn’t get an answer and Jiang Cheng heaves out a sigh.

He tugs the box close and opens it and he’s surprised to find that his favourite tea is in it. It’s hard to come by lately, as it is entirely seasonal and only grown in a small spot in Sect Leader Yao’s territory, and after everything that happened at the Cloud Recesses a few months back, he already mentally said goodbye to it.

He wouldn’t be getting any more supplies from Sect Leader Yao after all, so this is more than surprising.

But the gifts don't stop there.

Parallelism, not equivalence, by DreamaholicsAnonymous

Wei Wuxian reminded him of Xingchen, Song Lan thinks, not for the first time.

Bring Your Secrets, Bring Your Scars, by Terri Botta (Isilwath) (fourth in a series)

Nie MingJue keeps his promises.

All Your Madness, I Will Tame, by Terri Botha (Isilwath) (fifth in a series)

Wen Qing in the Burial Mounds.

Puppy, by Speechless_since_1998

Returning home, Lan Zhan found his husband hiding behind the sofa and A-Yuan sitting on the ground playing with a puppy dog.

The puppy must have been a few months old, probably hadn't even been weaned. It was harmless, but Wei Ying didn't care. It was enough that it was a dog to be afraid.

“Ah, Lan Zhan! You finally arrived! Take that monster away!" Wei Ying pleaded, refusing to come out of hiding.

A-Yuan puffed out her cheeks, "Shiro is not a monster!"

Heaven, he had already given it a name.

Being Good, by ricochet

Lan Wangji tries to be good.

no shadow can touch, by sunflowersfield

When it is time to hand out the mics, Lan Zhan forces himself to lower his expectations. Their exchange will be fleeting, and Wei Ying will barely even look at him.

Or: Wei Ying is cast in a musical at his local community center. Lan Zhan is the theater technician.

make a mess (inside my heart), by avenqelic

Wei Wuxian looked comfortable against Lan Wangji’s white sheets, curled up in his blankets. Lan Wangji’s chest ached, mind swirling with possibilities – falling asleep looking into Wei Wuxian’s eyes, waking up in his arms, holding each other close as the moon shifted across the sky and the sun rose.

Finding a way home, by ThisIsWhereTheMagicHappens

Prompt idea for a less than one thousand words one shot! Lwj walks into a coffee shop and barista wwx cannot stop flirting with him while both of them are dying on the inside because the other is so handsome! Wwx writes his number on the cup! Up to you if lwj has an existencial crisis after finding the number or if he even finds the number. Bonus points if the oneshot ends with lwj going back to the cafe and wwx smiles at him when he sees him! — this is a.a. now with a prompt

DanTian - Planting Gentians (LWJ POV), by ArchiveWriter (1 chapter plus art)

Wei Ying's been up their old mountain early in the morning. Wangji does needlework and indulges in watching Wei Ying's hands. A slice of domestic contentment because I like them happy.

Tease, by annjellybean

Now, Wei Ying had long outgrown teasing his husband mercilessly the way he used to back in their childhood days, they had been through so much since then, he had honestly forgotten how to do so. That being said, it did not mean Wei Ying had completely forgotten his gremlin roots, and as a self-proclaimed gremlin husband, today he wanted to tease.

Pure Morning, by ShizunThirst

It’s on mornings like these that Lan Wangji can love Wei Wuxian the way he deserves to be loved.

deeper etchings, by fensandmarshes

“And remember, a-Yuan,” comes the voice, lowered but still loud as though it shuns the petty boundaries of the house, “you absolutely cannot tell diedie about this.”

Lan Wangji pauses, there in the middle of the portal array, halfway through setting down his bag, and tilts his head just slightly.

Caring Warmth, by MountainMist

Wei Ying is sick and lonely. Head empty only Lan Zhan.

And how Lan Zhan takes care of him.

just them, together., by adeptiwings

It was okay, now that it was just them.

the boy with rabbit ears, by dragontea

Lan Zhan got lost in an amusement park and found his way home in the company of the boy with rabbit ears.

heart-shaped knots, by twigofwillow

There’s been a ghost in Cloud Recesses for over thirty years, but no one has talked to her until now.

Setting Suns and Dawning Realisations, by wereworm

Wei Wuxian's plans for a romantic night out in Caiyi with Lan Zhan are ruined when he works late, the sun already setting by the time he makes his way home to the Jingshi. Instead, they enjoy a quiet night in and Wei Wuxian comes to terms with the peace that he'd fought so hard to earn and the life that's he's finally allowed to have.

[For the prompt: a sweet wangxian date night in]

Won This For You, by Preludian_Staves

He looks up as his husband comes into the room with something suspiciously large hidden behind his back.

A single soul (no more), by Lysdance1

The core transfer surgery goes as in canon BUT it leaves the spiritual link open between Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian and, well, what goes one way can go both ways.

"It's what keeps him (mostly) sane, a tether in this dark place where he cannot feed and cannot sleep and cannot escape; through the link he feels - trickles of love, Jiang Cheng's worry for him. It shouldn't be enough, but somehow, in this dark, dark place, it is. It reminds him, faintly, of home, and in the dark he hears the rhythm of one, luminous, far away soul."

To Need Someone, by Preludian_Staves

"A-die?"

"Hm?"

"What does mean to need someone? To want them with you?"

Approval, by Speechless_since_1998

"You look tired, "he said, sipping his tea. He shouldn't, it wasn't kind. But he couldn't resist teasing him a little.

Lan Zhan stared at him blankly, "I've been drinking."

"I saw."

"I kissed Wei Ying."

"I saw that too."

And thanks to the gods there was no uncle because he hated worldly occasions, otherwise he would have a heart attack.

"We had sex at his adoptive parents' home."

"And?"

Lan Zhan raised an eyebrow, "Aren't you surprised?"

"Oh, sorry, now I'll try again ... Really? !!"

"You're not funny."

Unfinished:

Not Rated:

An Obsidian Among Jades, by bluebeads

What happens when a sad lost mantou cheeked Lan Zhan teams up with a cheerful one to find his family in the unfamiliar streets of Yilling. A Yu Ziyuan Ultimatum AU which I submitted a while ago on angstymdzsthoughts Also a Gusu Lan Sect Wei Wuxian.

I've had enough, by pluma1007

He is ascending. They’re minds unhelpfully supplied.

Then, Wei Wuxian is gone.

The cultivators are in disarray.

“Wei Wuxian… Wei Wuxian ascended!”

“How can this be?! A monster ascended?!”

“No! My core! My powers had diminished!”

Hearing that, the cultivators checked their cores. Gasps rang out the mountains. Enraged cries are heard, cursing Wei Wuxian. There are also those who kowtowed, praying for forgiveness. There are others who praised him.

Song of Joy and Regrets, by HelloKitten

The Archery competition at Qishan this year has hit a snag. As the Sects face the wrongs perpetrated by their future selves, Wei Wuxian finds himself adopted by half of the cultivation world who are determined to save him from himself.

Baby Wangxian suffers. Adult Wangxian's job here is done.

"I'm starting to see a pattern to all his plans..."

"Do they all involve him being bait?"

"Yes" came deadpanned responses.

Hua Cheng is not amused.

Rated E:

the long way back home, by Misila

Wei Ying always knew he was the single discordant note in the Jiang household. That was why, after graduating from university, he didn’t return home. With him gone, Yu Ziyuan wouldn’t have anyone to compare her son to, and Jiang Fengmian wouldn’t have to keep avoiding his own family to prevent further conflict.

…Right?

(Seven years later, married to the man of his life and with a four year-old son, Wei Ying returns to his hometown and tries to reconnect with his siblings and befriend his nephew; but, most of all, he struggles to figure out what’s wrong with his brother and how to help him, despite Jiang Cheng not wanting to have anything to do with him anymore.)

Will You Stand Beside Me, by trashgavin

Wei Wuxian takes all his strength and spits blood in Wen Chao’s face. His eyes narrow and he speaks, though his voice is quiet and full of pain.

“Go to hell.”

It only makes Wen Chao laugh. He releases his hair and stands to his feet. “Bring me a whip.”

Rated M:

For the Dust and the Dirt, by Nyxelestia

His breath came out in shaky gasps, but still he could do nothing as the demonic copy of himself brought the blade down to the bare skin of Wei Wuxian’s uninjured shoulder. He whimpered when he felt a small cut, then when the blade lifted. He didn’t have time to even think of relief before it came back, right next to the first cut in a different direction, then again below in a line, multiple small lines in multiple directions like…like a character.

“Like I said,” the demon mused as Wei Wuxian realized what it was doing. “I’ll write it down for you.”

A brutal assault on a Cloud Recesses student leaves the Cultivation world reeling. Wei Wuxian struggles to recover, while everyone else tries to make sense of an ominous message. But since when do demons care about sect politics, anyway?

Between Wen Ruohan's rising aggression, simmering tensions across the guest disciples, and the mysterious fierce corpses still popping up all over the place, Wei Wuxian would rather ignore the confusing, horrifying visions the demon left him with.

If only the demon's taunting predictions didn't keep coming true at every turn.

I Know How Those in Exile Feed on Dreams of Hope, by rabbit_habits & saltedpin

“What does it mean, that Wen Ruohan has all the Yin Iron?” Jiang Cheng asked, dragging himself up into a sitting position – her medicines must have worked quickly, because his ribs gave only a twinge when he moved.

Wen Qing settled down beside him, head bowed as she packed away her supplies, her shoulder brushing his arm when she moved. “It means that no one in the cultivation world can oppose him,” she whispered.

—

Canon divergence AU in which Jiang Cheng and Jin Zixuan are captured by the Wens after escaping from the Xuanwu's cave, before they can return to rescue Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji.

Misunderstood, by Silver_Flame_2724

There is something called a memory ball that shows the memories of a chosen person.

In order to further incriminate the already dead Yiling Patriarch, the cultivation world decides to use this memory ball at the next Discussion Conference to show how evil the demonic cultivator can truly be.

What appears, though, truly shocks them all.

laughing shadow, by ich_bin_ein_stern

During the commotion involving Wei Wuxian, A-Ling refused little sleep. His screams carried across Koi Tower, putting wailing ghosts too shame. He was inconsolable by everyone. It was only when Jin Zixuan unintentionally passed the room holding Wei Wuxian while trying to calm down his son did A-Ling miraculously settle down. Since then, he has slept peacefully every night. Yanli expressed, in the quiet and security of their bedroom, that perhaps Wei Wuxian's spirit soothed A-Ling and continues to do so.

At the least expected times, Jin Zixuan swears he can hear the distant sound of a flute.

But when he stops to actually listen for it, he hears nothing.

Come From My Inkstone, by magicgenetek

“So your plan,” Nie Mingjue said dubiously, “is to move into the Burial Mounds to write and illustrate erotica about you and Lan Wangji seducing the Yiling Patriarch to earn his trust and sell the public on the idea that he's not a threat, then convince him to give up the Yin Tiger Seal?"

“The way I said it sounded better,” Nie Huaisang said. “And you forgot the part about me seducing the Ghost General, that is crucial.”

“I hate this, and as your brother, I am begging you not to actually stick it in a fierce corpse. How much money do you need?”

Rated T:

Here We Go Again, by Alliandra

He looked over to where the swordswoman was still fighting, but her focus seemed entirely locked onto that fight so it was unlikely that she could have had anything to do with the energy drain. He was still wracking his brain for something else to do to assist, so this thing didn’t kill them both, but now he was feeling weak, dizzy and currently not far from helpless.

~~~~~~~~~~

It has been several months since the events at the Guanyin temple and Wei Wuxian is wandering around on his own. After he helps a stranger kill a very dangerous beast he uncovers what seems to be a conspiracy aimed at ending his life. He heads back to Cloud Recesses with his new companion in tow, looking to get Lan Wanji's help in working out what is involved.

Meanwhile, Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling made a surprising discovery under Koi Tower that may well be linked to the threat against Wei Wuxian's life.

Can they all work together to find out what is going on and put a stop to it, before something disastrous occurs?

A place of Gold, by ThisIsWhereTheMagicHappens

A few days after Wei Wuxian has parted from Lan Wangji on a forest path, he gets surrounded by Jin officials in an Inn, who formally ask him to return to Jinlintai to fill in the position of Sect Leader, as is his right and duty.

Wei Wuxian thinks it is an artful prank. Until it is not.

Blossoming flowers in a full moon - 花好月圆, by ThisIsWhereTheMagicHappens

What if Wei Wuxian wasn’t able to get out of Lan Wangji’s grip at the cliff in Nevernight? What if Lan Wangji refused to let go?

All will be well when the day is done, by abCEE

The one where Yu Ziyuan time traveled but she thought that it was her visions of her alternate life.

She learned that there is a brat named Wei Ying who brought destruction to her and her family's life.

And so in her present, she vowed that she will never allow that to happen.

In which Yu Ziyuan found the four-year-old Wei Ying, newly pushed out of the inn where his parents left him, and decided that no, this child must never be associated with her, her family, and their sect at all.

And so Yu Ziyuan thought that she could bring him somewhere where someone may or may not find him but definitely far from where her husband could find him. If he's lucky, he'll survive that winter, if he's not, then death awaits the fevered child.

This is the extent of mercy that Yu Ziyuan could give a child.

With this, she'll raise her children without having to deal with a brat that brings trouble where he goes according to her visions of her alternate life.

Like the tag stated, this is definitely not Yu Ziyuan centric.

Rated G:

How Jin Zixuan Helps Everyone, by BryxcrSt

The Yunmeng Heroes, Twin Jades, Nie Huaisang, The Peacock, Cinnamon Roll Ghost General and Lan Qiren suddenly transport back to the past before the Conference in Qishan, with their very memory of how all their clans battled Wen Rouhan's and now they're all ready to prevent it from happening now that they're back to the past. Especially Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian.

Surprisingly, Jin Zixuan wants to help them instead of standing out of the front line like how he used to but what can he do?

To Repeat, Repay, and Repair, by adrian_kres

Wei Wuxian has died again and his family grieves. Lan Sizhui, now married and with children of his own, grieves the loss of both fathers, as Lan Wangji has entered seclusion. But somehow, he unknowingly sends himself back to the time he spent in the Burial Mounds at three years old. Will his family take his confused, nonsensical warnings seriously? Are they doomed to repeat the same fate?

#the untamed #mo dao zu shi #chen qing ling #cql #mdzs #wangxian #untamed fanfiction

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bao3bei4 · 4 years ago

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i have basically covered the material in this post several times on my twitter. but this is, in my opinion, the only s*xy t*mes with w*ngxian take you need.

(cw transphobia, transphobic slurs, antiblack racism, mentions of csa and bestiality in fiction)

edit 6/10/21: hi! i’m realizing people are still reading this! this was written in response to aja romano’s vox article on the fic that was published in late february of this year. i had been frustrated with how their article seemed to miss the point in many ways, because they never talked about the substance of the fic. which, i mean, fair. i wouldn’t want to read a 1million word fic either.

but i already had, so i thought i’d write about some things that i believed needed to be part of the conversation. namely, that its author wasn’t a harmless troll, but a person i genuinely disliked who i believed should be deplatformed.

i think virtual1979 is a bad person.

i think a lot of people mainly know about sexy times the phenomenon more than they do sexy times the fic itself. i have the dubious honor of being one of the few people who has actually read large portions of the million word fic, and that’s why i wanted to write this meanspirited hit piece.

the fic is down right now and the author’s notes and comments have both been deleted, which is why i cannot provide screenshots. however, these are all quotes i have saved from when the fic was online, and i’m happy to talk with anyone if you feel any of these quotes are mischaracterizations of the fic.

i also want to be clear this is not a “callout post” and i’m not trying to “cancel” them or whatever. i am just explaining why i don’t like them, why i don’t feel bad they’re being harassed, and why i do not find them sympathetic at all, and perhaps why you should also adopt these stances.

let’s start with transphobia.

sexy times with wangxian is transphobic. this much is apparent from the tags. virtual1979 tagged the following: F*tanari, d*ckgirl, Sh*male. they use this language in the chapters that include a character with both a vagina and a penis.

they refer to this character (wei wuxian) with the pronouns “he-she.” the following excerpt is a fair representation of how this wei wuxian is referred to in the chapters where wei wuxian has a vagina and a penis.

[Lan Zhan] would never be turned on by a female, and he would actually be turned off by a drag queen - but this… this Wei Ying, it’s Wei Ying, and he-she looks [...]

i know these words are common in porn categories, but they are also slurs. virtual1979 also uses hermaphrodite to refer to this set of anatomy, which is not strictly a slur, but definitely a stigmatizing choice of language.

they have repeatedly made clear they are not open to criticism. they have also since removed the comment section. making an intersex character for the express purpose of using transmisogynistic language towards them in your million word porn fic isn’t annoying the way their tags are, it’s actively fucked up.

fanfiction has a transphobia problem, and if we’re talking about sexy times with wangxian in any capacity, we must be clear: sexy times with wangxian is part of that problem too.

secondly, virtual1979 is also complicit in ao3’s racism problem.

i think the way they write about chinese characters and settings is annoying and racist, but they are a malaysian chinese person, so i do have some sympathy for them. i am committed to having some patience for people who are annoying if they themselves are working through the prejudice they have faced.

they’ve commented as much:

Not gonna lie, this fic has been a steep learning curve for me despite my roots being Chinese as well, but I have absolutely zero knowledge in some of these aspects!

and i’m happy on some level they can get in touch with their roots. who among us has not been cringe and diaspora. any criticisms i have of their portrayal of chinese people will stay private and be made to other people of color.

i’m going to be clear here i don’t think the actual comment they made makes them super evil or anything. but this essay IS clearly in response to That Article, which did mention racism in fandom. so.

i think we have all seen the infamous karen comment they made, in which they compared people who criticized their tagging with “Karens,” equating antiblack state violence to... mean comments on ao3? and “SJWs,” which, eye roll. no ageism but you’re 41 why the hell are you complaining about sjws

anyway. i am deeply frustrated by the co-option of the word karen. a stand-in for a particular type of racist violence white women specifically can and do inflict has become fused with that reddit-type mommy issue “can i speak to the manager” internecine white resentment.

so their trivialization of antiblack racism is another reason i don’t like them. again i KNOW it’s petty to point this out here, but this to me shows that virtual is afflicted with the same kind of fandom brainrot that aja is, where everything comes back to that same sort of self-centered bullshit.

sorry for that jab. julian told me that aja thought that cql was about callout culture and all i could think was “wow! just like virtual thinking that--” because i also have spent too much time on twitter this week.

this is just like. part of this ongoing pattern i’ve noticed with virtual, where they’re aware enough of real problems to acknowledge they exist (police violence, accessibility issues caused by their tagging) but are determined to double down on their minor relative persecution as king, shittily drawing parallels between like... real problems and fandom problems. equating the two or allowing the second to take priority over the former is like... par for the course for this type of person!

third, this is just another clarification on more parallels between ao3 discourse and sexy times that went completely unremarked on by That Article.

i would rather DIE than get into discourse. but why did they write this sentence:

Lan Zhan’s rational mind finally broke with a tsunami of pedophilic lusts [...]

by the way that is the start of a 430 word sentence. and yes this fic does contain hundreds of thousands of words of aged down wei wuxian. make of that what you will.

also why would you make wei wuxian teach baby chickens how to sexually pleasure him. do you hate these characters. what’s going on. i think mxtx should be able to sue virtual for that one.

there’s a very obvious connection between mainstream ao3 discourse and sexy times that went completely unremarked on in That Article. sexy times contains multitudes and some of those multitudes are bestiality and explicit childfucking.

this is not unrelated to fannish culture, they are not unfamiliar with fannish norms, blah blah blah. this is just normal fandom. they’re not subverting shit, they’re just a normal fan who unlike 99% of fanfiction writers on twitter, spends more time writing than posting. this has taken their fannish tendencies to cartoonish heights.

finally, they don’t care about mdzs or wangxian. they’re literally just horny and spiteful that’s it. this isn’t a question of like... “ohh they were a good faith participant in fandom until they went joker mode” and the REAL villain is society/ao3. like no they wanted to write shitty porn, and when they found out they were annoying people, they decided to double down because they could be the main character of the mdzs ao3 tag every time they found a spare hour to write.

here are some select receipts on that topic:

they do not care about canon:

MDZS has quite a complicated and expansive plot and history, and enough content that one can choose to tune out certain parts and still get to the end of the story in one piece. Also, because of its source, some fans may not fully realize the nuances, cultural aspects (ooh, cultural appropriation is another triggering topic) or the full breadth and depth of the source material, such as a person like me, who is half-baked in terms of knowing what the canon universe is all about. So I end up playing with characters and settings technically borrowed from the story, and make them do things that would otherwise run counter to the original source material - and that draws quite some flak from those opinionated people I mentioned just now. It's part of what makes the fandom toxic. It's like they're the self-appointed guardians of the source material and they act like they own the rights to question such questionble fanworks, and dare I say, try to take down those that cross certain lines too.

they are just horny:

After that giddines of extra drunken Lan Wang Ji scenes at the beginning, I'm blessed with Lan Wang Ji (Wang Yibo's, actually) fuzzy nips! Bless Bless Bless, and Amen! muahs the nips on the screen

anyway they did get nuked over wishing covid on people.

so yeah. i want to be really clear. this is my thesis: i do not feel bad for them. you should not either. i do not like them. you should not either. that’s ALL!!!!

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theres-a-goldensky · 5 years ago

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32 Reddie Fic Recs

In honor of the joy I feel in finally getting out of this miserably terrible fucking year of my life, I thought I’d do something fun and make up a list of Reddie fic recs, since this has fandom has taken over my life recently. Strap in, friends. This is gonna be a long one.

These recs are in the order in which I read them.

As ever, feel free to reblog and check out my other rec lists for the following fandoms:

IT chapter 2 list part two - Reddie

Good Omens fic

The Untamed list one and two - various pairings, mostly Wangxian

Various BL Series fic (fandoms: Love By Chance, TharnType, 2Moons series, My Engineer, Until We Meet Again, 2gether, History3: Trapped)

Or just head over to my bookmarks on AO3.

All fics are Reddie, all are complete.

** - denotes personal favorite

1. first love / late spring by vowelinthug - ~36,000 words, explicit - They both survive It, but not without some injuries, both physical and psychological. Richie takes Eddie to a secluded cabin to help him recover. And then they accidentally make a podcast. Nice slowburn, a good Richie characterization. I liked the conversations between the two of them, in particular one about Richie’s disdain for shoes that was pitch perfect.

The doctor’s evil eye is on both of them now. “Your friend is gonna be fine. Broken collarbone and a lot of blood loss, but the arm stays on, for now anyway.” Probably at the way Richie sags in relief so hard he groans in pain, the doctor stops looking so severe. “He’s a tough guy. I’ve never seen anyone regain consciousness from that much blood loss just to give me a full medical history.”

“Oh my god,” says Richie, covering his mouth. “I like him so much.”

Bill pats his shoulder in sympathy.

2. the fireworks that go off when you smile by zach_stone - ~10,000 words, teen - Post-movie the adult Losers, including Stan, go on a vacation together. There’s just lots of Richie staring at a wet, shirtless Eddie and pining.

Richie blinks at him, his stomach doing a fucking somersault, pinned under Eddie’s weirdly passionate stare. He swallows another mouthful of beer to stall for time, shifting his gaze away. Spread out before him, the lake looks like flat, black glass. “Jeez, is the risk analyst really telling me to ignore the risks? What’s the world coming to?” he manages to joke.

He expects Eddie to roll his eyes, to huff and lean away again, but he doesn’t. He says, still earnest, “I just think some things are worth the risk.”

And Richie doesn’t know what the fuck to do with that. He resolutely tells himself not to puke on Ben and Beverly’s porch, because he thinks if he did it would just be the words I love Eddie Kaspbrak a hundred times over, all puddled on the slats of wood. He stands up rather abruptly. “I should go to bed,” he says, aware that he’s talking too loud, being too fucking obvious. “I’m jetlagged as fuck. Also maybe a little drunk.”

3. oh, i want the truth to be known by ShowMeAHero - ~7000 words, explicit - Richie sees Eddie die in the deadlights and then manages to save him at the last second, but It skewers him instead. I’m honestly not sure why there isn’t more fic with this premise, because Richie sacrificing his own safety for Eddie and then Eddie losing his shit is absolutely, 100% my jam.

The claw isn’t in Eddie’s chest. Instead, it’s in Richie’s, caught in his side, pinning him to the ground. He chokes on a scream, caught in his throat, and pushes at Eddie, just trying to get them away. He rolls into him, ripping Pennywise’s claw through his side to get away, but once he’s free, he’s scrambling into a half-stumble and dragging Eddie with him until they’re hidden under an outcropping of rock. His side is bleeding, he can feel it, and his entire fucking abdomen hurts, and, for a moment, it’s all he can process.

“Holy shit, Richie,” Eddie exclaims. The pain shuffles to the back of Richie’s mind so he can focus on Eddie instead. He sounds winded, but he’s fucking alive, unhurt and breathing and okay, and Richie huffs a laugh. He’s in so much fucking pain, but he can’t even figure out where it’s all originating from, and the only thought cycling through his brain is it’s okay, he’s okay, Eddie’s okay, it wasn’t real, it wasn’t real, it wasn’t real, over and over.

4. we'll be a fine line (we'll be alright) by buckyjerkbarnes - ~9,000 words, teen - Richie and the other Losers in the hospital after killing It, waiting for news on Eddie. Richie has a bit of a breakdown.

The ambulance ride had been the longest twenty minutes of Richie’s life. He'd tried not to get in the way of the EMTs who worked frantically to keep Eddie alive; who were far more patient with him than Richie likely deserved. By the time they'd rolled up to the emergency entrance at the hospital, Ben stamping his breaks as the rest of the Losers came to a grinding halt not fifteen yards away, Richie was still a sobbing mess. He couldn't see through the cracked lens of his glasses, and when Eddie, who had not opened his eyes or said a word since they were still in the sewers, was about to be wheeled out of sight, Richie made like a battering ram and lunged towards the pair of swinging doors.

“Sir!" An orderly yelped. "You can’t—!"

And Stan, who had materialized at Richie's elbow, told the orderly: "He's the husband."

5. ** It’s Hard to Tell Sometimes by gallopingmelancholia - ~21,000 words, explicit - Eddie divorces his wife and moves to LA to live with Richie. Richie promptly has like five emotional meltdowns over it. So much pining. So much. This is one of very few that has Eddie in the hospital for a realistic amount of time, which I appreciate. When writers have been hoping out of bed after a day or whatever, it really throws me out of the story.

“When can we see him?” Mike asks.

“He’s asleep, but we’ll send in a nurse when he wakes up. I wouldn’t expect it until tomorrow morning at the earliest. He’s been through quite a lot, eleven hours of surgery, and is on a lot of pain medication.”

“Will he survive? What’s the percentage? He’ll want to know the probability, he’s a risk analyst,” Richie says.

The doctor hesitates. “The chances he makes it through the night are 65%.”

“That’s not bad!” Richie says even as his heart drops to somewhere in the region of his feet. The others look at him pitifully. “Tell him we’re here and we love him. Tell him the Losers are here and we’ll see him soon.”

6. ** it’s a nice day to start again by eddiespaghetti (foxwatson) - ~6000 words, teen - Post-movie, Eddie wakes up one morning to discover that Richie and a woman had a shotgun wedding in Vegas the night before. Great, sad-but-trying-not-to-show-it Eddie here. (And yes, Richie is a total disaster gay who marries a woman on a whim.)

“Are you sitting down?”

“I didn’t even get out of bed yet! Bev please just tell me what the fuck is happening.”

“Sorry, I’m sorry. Just- Richie got married.”

“What? No he didn’t,” Eddie scoffs, throwing the covers off. “I’m not - he’s not even dating anybody, I see him all the time. It’s probably just a big joke or something, that’s-”

“He got married, in Vegas. It’s all over Twitter, and he- he sent pictures to the group chat last night. She’s some other comedian. None of us have ever met her, he didn’t invite any of us.”

7. Oh, But He Makes You Laugh by MellytheHun - ~9,000 words, mature - Teenage Eddie has to deal with some serious jealousy when a new friend enters their group. This one has a good, slow realization on Eddie’s part.

The boy is in their grade, though not part of their social sphere; he’s nearly as tall as Richie, with light eyes, and walnut colored hair. Eddie recognizes him from his AP bio class, but can’t inwardly recall his name.

The boy nods toward Stanley while keeping eye-contact with Richie, and informs him, “alligators - they can grow up to twenty feet.”

Richie opens his mouth to argue with the new kid, but he’s cut off.

“Which is weird, cause they usually only grow four.”

Eddie watches in abject bewilderment as a hearty, genuine laugh is startled out of Richie.

8. Richie Tozier: Pray Away the Gay by QueerOnTilMorning - ~4,500 words, teen - The official transcript of Richie Tozier’s comeback Netflix special. A lot of writers try to do Richie’s stand-up routine, but not many can nail it. This one feels realistic and contains actual, like, jokes and stuff.

Because I grew up in this little town called Derry, Maine--nope, absolutely not, do not cheer for that. Fuck Derry! I had this friend, for years he thought I was lactose intolerant, because he'd mention dairy and I'd be like "fuck Derry! Derry tried to fucking kill me!" No, I can eat cheese, I just hate my hometown. They did not fuck with the gays, in Derry. That's probably why I dress so shitty. It's a survival thing. I was already super into dudes. If I had developed fashion sense on top of that? No. Oh my God. It was so--I was so fucking scared all the time.

And like, to put this in perspective, has anyone ever heard of Henry Bowers? Any true crime fans in the house? Henry Bowers, the baby serial killer? Yeah, you listened to that podcast! My friend Bill was on that podcast, doesn't he have a sexy voice? Anyway, Henry Bowers, also known very creatively as The Derry Killer, murdered a bunch of kids the summer we were thirteen. I say we, because that dude was in my fucking class. There was an active serial killer in Derry during my childhood and still, still my greatest fear was that someone would find out I was gay.

9. RICHIE TOZIER IS...THE COMEBACK CLOWN by owlinaminor & tinypersonhotel - ~11,500, teen - An excellent multimedia fic about Richie’s life with Eddie post-movie.

While Richie Tozier never stops talking, Eddie Kaspbrak never stops moving. Listening to a conversation between the two men is akin to watching a pinball machine with two balls going at once, slamming into each other and the walls and the levers and each other, lighting up their surroundings in a trance as mesmerizing as it is chaotic. (Kaspbrack laughed when I told him this metaphor—apparently Tozier spent many an afternoon at the town arcade when they were kids.)

Over the course of one twenty-minute walk with their dog, a beagle named Stanley, through their L.A. neighborhood, they manage to call off their engagement, call it back on, invite me, uninvite me, call the engagement off again, debate eloping, call the whole thing back on but disinvite everyone except me, and finally agree on what color napkins to have at the reception.

10. ** The Jenga Dream Date by stitchy - ~15,000 words, explicit - Richie and Eddie domestic fluff that starts at Ben and Bev’s wedding. It feels so sweet, and you can just see the happiness radiating off the screen. This is truly the ending they deserve.

Then a seriously, unbearably cute thought occurs to Richie. A thought he can’t immediately share with Eddie, because Bill and Mike each independently cornered him and made him swear not to steal Bev and Ben’s thunder.

Ah, fuck it.

“I can’t think why we would possibly be in another situation in the near future where there’s dancing but also my mother is there for some reason, but holy shit, Eds! I have got to see you dance with Mom. During this very special situation. For which I will make hand calligraphed invitations and hire a photographer and-”

Eddie’s eyes dart in either direction before he lets out a short, slightly hysterical laugh. “Uhhh, I also have no idea when or why that would happen, or what sort of event that would be appropriate for.”

11. Bad Parts In by 50artists - ~9,000 words, not rated - It’s Richie that ends up in the hospital after it all goes down, and Eddie who has the crisis. And also some serious misapprehensions.

"I feel like Richie might be slightly weirded out," Eddie says dryly. "Like oh, hey, we've not spoken for decades and you're the straightest man I know, but it turns out I have been subconsciously in love with you since we were teenagers. I dunno, might make things a bit awkward."

"I'm sorry," says Beverly, "just to clarify, Richie Tozier is the straightest man you know?"

"Dude, have you seen his comedy? It's all, 'I love fucking chicks while drinking beer and watching football'."

"You mean the material that Richie doesn't write himself?'

12. ** We Found Love in a Chili’s ToGo by Amuly - ~14,000, explicit - Richie confesses his feelings to Eddie in the airport before they both headed back to their own lives. This is such a lovely story about friendship and love and putting yourself back together. And there’s some A+++ phone sex.

“Nah, Eds. It’s because I had a big gay crush and needed Stan to bitch at about it.”

Eddie frowned, then shook his head. “That doesn’t explain why you couldn’t bitch at me about it.”

“Well bitching about your secret crush to your secret crush is generally frowned upon, Eds. Kinda fucks up the ‘secret’ part.”

Eddie, bless his tiny heart, didn’t get it for a second. His expression scrunched up, about to say something stupid back to Richie, when his brain processed Richie’s words. In a second his expression fell open, jaw actually agape.

“Oh look: drinks!” Richie grabbed his marg, licking and drinking without even letting the waitress set it down onto the tabletop. Eddie barely had the courtesy left to let her set his down before he was grabbing at it.

13. ** Ask Me About My New Material by twoseas - ~7,000 words, explicit - I could read 10,000 stories about a confused and horny Eddie jerking it to Richie’s stand up without understanding why before they meet again in Derry. This one has a great Richie, who reacts like he got hit in the face with a bat when the truth comes out.

In the restaurant, as the gong resounded around them, Eddie looked up at a four-eyed, messy, middle aged Trashmouth and suddenly it all clicked.

He had two thoughts.

Oh, he realized, it’s because I’m in love with the dumbass.

And, Aw fuck.

14. No Parenthesis by pineapplecrushface - 13,000 words, explicit - In the deadlights, Stan gives Richie some instructions on how to bring him back. Spoilers: it involves an orgy. And Richie and Eddie dealing with their feelings.

“Okay,” Mike said, holding his hands out to placate him, and honestly Richie was really fucking sick of Mike saying crazy shit and then somehow—somehow!—convincing them to do it anyway. “I’m not saying we have to do it. I’m just saying, the ritual exists and we could do it, and now that it’s out there, I feel like you should all have the choice.”

“Great. I choose no. I’m fucking leaving before I get ritualed into giving all my money to a cult leader and I end up spending the rest of my sad short life on an alpaca farm,” Richie said, standing up too fast and stalking across the room.

“Richie,” Bev said, and she sounded, unbelievably, like she was not thinking this was completely insane.

“Are you fucking serious?” He whirled around to look at them. They were all giving him varying levels of Richie, be reasonable, which was a look he was familiar with, but not when it came to sex rituals, for some fucking reason.

15. ** Stupid Deep series by anonymous - ~50,000 words, explicit - Richie has a huge dick, and Eddie is obsessed with it. Come for the super, super hot sex, stay for the sweet romance, twist of angst and happy ending.

It’s been five months since then, and Eddie has spent at least 40% of that time thinking about Richie’s big fucking dick. He spends about 20% working from home, 20% arguing with Richie about dumb shit, and the remaining 30% sleeping—this adds up to 110%, but that’s because there’s overlap between the sleeping and the thinking about Richie’s huge dick in the form of extremely graphic dreams.

He thinks about Richie’s dick in the shower. He thinks about Richie’s dick when they’re watching TV together. He thinks about Richie’s dick when he’s trying to eat breakfast. He hasn’t even seen it hard. But god, he thinks about it. Thinks about it hot and thick in his hand, thinks about it twitching as Eddie strokes it, thinks about it stretching his lips, thinks about it leaking precum all over Eddie’s fingers and tongue and stomach. And, most importantly—most vividly—he thinks about Richie’s dick inside of him, filling him up, fucking him.

At the same time, Eddie also spent a good amount of time, woven through the rest of his daily activities, falling so deeply in love with his best-friend-cum-roommate that it was disturbing at best. There was pining. There were lingering glances. There was lying on Richie’s bed while he was out just to ease the ache in his chest with Richie’s warm, familiar scent, which is disgusting and Eddie hates to think about it. There were, in Eddie’s darkest moments, daydreams about Richie holding his hand and kissing him and telling Eddie he’s in love with him. Like a fucking sap.

16. I’m quite alright hiding today by remusjohn - ~7,000 words, explicit - Eddie kisses Richie out of the deadlights, but Richie doesn’t know if that means anything.

On the first night they don’t do much of anything. They unpack (well, Eddie unpacks his massive bags while Richie tries to figure out how to sign in to his Netflix account on the tiny TV in the living room), and they order in, and they argue over what to watch while they’re eating, and Eddie falls asleep some hours later with his head tucked into Richie’s shoulder, and Richie tries not to think too much of it.

There’s been a lot of that, the last couple of days. Richie doesn’t know how to say, You kissed me to wake me up from the deadlights and I don’t know if you did it to save my life or if there’s something else too, but it’s kind of killing me, man.

So Richie doesn’t say anything at all.

17. Haunt Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me by Vulcanodon - ~20,000 words, explicit - AU where Eddie and Richie are ghost hunters who get stuck in a very trippy haunted house. This concept really shouldn’t work, and I’m not big on AUs in the fandom, but the relationship between the two of them really sells it. And, obviously, the pining. There’s so much.

The only time Eddie has ever witnessed Richie freaking out was when they had been fucking about in the woods near Montana for their werewolf episode. Eddie had been walking backwards, trying to get Richie and a creepy footprint in frame when he had suddenly felt nothing but air behind him. He had fallen for an impressively long time down the hill, blacking out briefly when a branch caught his head and when he came to Richie had been leaning over him, white and frantic, hands all fisted up in Eddie’s shirt.

Eddie, Eddie, Eds, Richie had said, nearly crying. Are you alright, can you talk?

Is my camera broken? Eddie had managed woozily to say, and for a moment Eddie had thought Richie might do something crazy like slap him or even kiss him.

He hadn’t done either in the end and Eddie remembers the disappointment, even with the haze of a mild concussion.

18. Five Times The Losers Gave Richie Permission by toomuchrootbeer - ~11,000 words, mature - Each loser tries to let Richie know that they know in their own special way.

“No I don’t mind,” Stan says evenly, shrugging his shoulders like it’s the simplest thing in the world. “I don’t mind any of it.”

“Cool,” Richie chirps, grabbing his backpack off of the grass and pushing himself to his feet. “Pip pip Edward,” he calls. “Shall we endeavor to find you a cleaner wardrobe?”

“Fuck you,” Eddie says back, but there is no venom behind his words.

But then Stan is reaching out, gripping Richie’s arm, “Dude what are you-”

“I don’t mind any of it, Tozier,” he repeats, voice lower and his words somehow more weighty, fixing Richie with an indecipherable look. “And I don’t think any of the other Losers would mind it either. If you wanted to,” he jerks his head in the direction of Eddie, “you know.”

19. String Theory by neverfaraway - ~17,000 words, mature - Richie starts slowly regaining his memories and has a disturbing experience in the deadlights.

The thing is, Richie knows this is a version of himself and Eddie that never existed. He can taste the pretence on the tip of his tongue, but the sticky air seems to sharpen and solidify around him. He can’t remember where he was before this moment, watching his fingers alight on the buckle of Eddie’s hundred-dollar belt.

The Voice wavers and Richie comes pouring through the cracks. It's painful to watch the careful way he places his hands on Eddie’s skin. "Fuck, I missed you," he says. "Even when I couldn't remember, I had a hole right through me, straight through the middle. You left a fucking entry and exit wound."

"Damnit, Richie," Eddie mutters, blinking rapidly. "Beep, beep."

20. hoping to be found by eddiespaghetti (foxwatson) - ~25,000 words, mature - Things don’t magically work out after Derry for Eddie. He doesn’t know what else to do, so he goes back to Myra and his depressig life. But at least now he has his friends. He has Richie.

With his memories back now, with all the knowledge of his mother and his placebos and his fake inhaler and his friends, it feels like Eddie has been living the last 27 years in sickly, yellow sepia tones. His memories and even the brief time he spent with everyone at the Chinese restaurant shine in his mind in vivid technicolor, and everything else pales in comparison.

He thought he would die, and now he doesn’t have a plan. His life in New York is miserable and cramped and leaves him feeling small, so he puts it off as long as he can.

The drive isn’t long, even with Eddie taking his time. He takes a detour just to drive along the coast and see the ocean, and stops at any given exit or National Forest along the way that strikes his fancy. He’s still home before nightfall.

21. After Derry series by pineapplecrushface - ~47,000 words, explicit - Richie and Eddie are both pining and miserable disasters post-movie. Until they finally get their shit together and figure some things out.

He woke when Eddie sat on the edge of the bed and touched his back, under his disgusting shirt. “Hey,” he said. “Your turn. I mean, your turn after I wash my hand again. What did you lie down in?”

“Your mom,” he said, sitting up and glaring at Eddie, who was half-naked, a towel wrapped around his waist. “How do you all look so good and I ended up looking like fucking Christopher Lloyd? Like, not young Christopher Lloyd. Present day.”

Eddie’s hand was still tucked under his shirt, rubbing a path across his lower back. “I guess you did grow into your looks.”

“Oh, fuck you, you weirdly muscular little shitweasel,” Richie said, escaping to the shower so he didn’t have to look at the slope of Eddie’s arms. He was weak for that, the line of a man’s shoulders and back. He was weak for all of Eddie, really. After everything he had seen, he guessed it was something he could admit to himself. There was no panic left in it.

22. for better, for worse by kaspbrak_kid - ~26,000 words, not rated - Eddie has just gotten through a messy divorce and is trying to deal with the fact that he’s been in love with Richie for 30 years, and then he has to go to Ben and Bev’s wedding. Not a great combination of things.

Eddie blows out a shaky breath and puts down his phone, then picks it back up again, restless. He scrolls up through his and Richie’s texts.

They’re not that frequent. They talk in the group chat, mostly. Eddie thinks about texting him all the time, several times a day, and then never does. It’s all just stupid shit, anyway. A dream he had or a movie he saw on TV that he remembers Richie used to like, and does he still like it? Some things his therapist tells him he should say, like that he’s been in love with Richie for somewhere between six months and thirty-odd years.

Instead, most of their private texts are just inane bickering, or Richie trying out jokes on him, or Eddie telling Richie how to clean the cut he just accidentally gave himself opening a can. He could have just googled it. But he asked Eddie.

23. feet on the ground, head in the sky by peggyolson - ~21,000 words, teen - I’m kind of a sucker for the slowburn, falling in love over distance trope. This one does it well, with bonus Richie dealing with his issues and figuring shit out.

Mostly, though, it’s just a slight tug at the back of his mind, another part of his day. A mumbled let me call Eddie, like an afterthought, while he’s tapping his foot in line at Whole Foods.

Eddie always, always answers.

“Edward Kaspbrak,” he chirps during business hours, dry and glib, and Richie will respond in a deep, exaggerated baritone with something awful like Mr. Kaspbrak, your test results are in and unfortunately you will keep shrinking at an alarming rate for the rest of your life, something barely funny that he says just to get a reaction.

(It had been such a mistake to give Richie his work number.)

24. it’s about time that you just unwind by fuckener - ~9,500 words, explicit - Eddie finds out that Richie is gay via his stand-up and promptly loses his mind.

“Yeah? Mine was weird, guys, I’m not going to lie. I came up with this really good idea on how to cause total chaos at a family event, you wanna hear it?” There it was - glasses adjustment, not even past the one minute mark. “If you really want to shake up another dull as fuck Thanksgiving with your parents, just wait ‘til you’re in your forties and your elderly father is spooning out his first helping of mashed potatoes for the night and then drop the bomb that you’ve been gay the whole time. Boom, happy Thanksgiving. Pass the sweet corn, I want to fuck the huge green dude on the can.” People laughed. Richie did that thing with his face between a smile and a scowl. “It’s the long game, yeah, but -”

Eddie slammed his laptop shut.

25. feel this burning, love of mine by floatingonthelehigh - 17,000 words, mature - The clown is a bastard. Richie gets a second chance.

“Don’t leave,” Eddie says quietly, and god fucking damn it, it breaks him that Eddie thinks he ever would.

“No, fuck no, Eddie. I’m not going to.” He adjusts his grip on the jacket against Eddie’s stomach, winces when Eddie gasps in pain. Richie’s lip shakes again as he just keeps talking. “Frankly I’m insulted that you’d think I’d leave you, after just remembering you're my best fucking friend in the world, after twenty seven fucking years. My clown-murdering partner in crime! How could I ever leave you? Fuck no, I’m not leaving you, Eds. Idiot,” He laughs emptily, rubbing Eddie’s cheek, and pauses, beginning to nod to himself as a goal flits into his mind. “I’m going to pick you up, I’m going to get you out of here, to a hospital. Right now. And—” Eddie’s grip on his arm tightens, and he stops.

26. hey there demons (it's me, ya boi) by dharmainitiative - 12,000 words, teen - Is this another ghosthunters AU? Why, yes it is. I don’t know why there are two of these, but I enjoyed them both. This one is much lighter, and I really liked the way that the writer creates a very lived-in feeling as soon as you jump into this universe.

As it was, BuzzFeed wasn’t a bad place to work, despite all the shit Richie gave it. He was paid well, there were always a bunch of cushy chairs everywhere, and the food that got brought in for lunch everyday was way better than the shitty grilled cheeses he ate at home for dinner. And despite what Richie expected, his coworkers were actually pretty cool, all things considered. Sure, they were all millenials who thought landing an internship at BuzzFeed was the height of success, but most of them were friendly, and occasionally funny, and like Richie, just excited to get paid to do something that required little to no effort.

Most of them, at least. There was also Eddie Kaspbrak.

Richie met Eddie his first day at BuzzFeed, when he was shown his desk and the incessantly chatty intern that sat at the desk right next to him. Working side by side — literally — let Richie learn a lot of things about Eddie Kaspbrak: he was a neurotic hypochondriac, exclusively owned Polo shirts, and talked faster than Richie could even blink.

27. New Page, Same Old Book by Rend_Herring - 17,000 words, explicit - Post-movie, Eddie divorces his wife, moves across the country and makes himself comfortable in Richie’s home. Richie is totally fine and not freaking out at all.

He clips the wall coming into the foyer, practically crashes over the little table he uses to stack mail—fumbles around with the chain, the deadbolt, before finally wrenching open the door. It doesn’t occur to him until he’s sending it bouncing back against the doorstop, that it might have been a good idea to check the peephole and make sure it actually wasn’t some asshole out for a smash and grab in the middle of the night, or worse — a fan.

Richie would be less dumbfounded by either option.

He squints at the person standing in front of him, blinks.

“I’ve had this dream before,” Richie says, voice still croaky from sleep, “usually you’re wearing less clothes.”

“Jesus christ,” Eddie sighs, and rolls his eyes when Richie jumps back a bit, genuinely startled that it’s not some manufacturing of his sordid imagination. “I knew I shouldn’t have come here.”

28. Drives Me Wild by rustywrites - ~4,000 words, explicit - Eddie and Richie have hotel sex after RIchie wins himself an Emmy.

"I thought I told you no more jokes about how much you love my dick," Eddie says, shifting to straddle Richie's waist in earnest, rolling his hips downward just to emphasize his point, no doubt. His hands are braced on both of Richie's shoulders, pinning him back with his bodyweight, while Richie's hands are on his waist, holding him in place. It's not the most comfortable position, all things considered--Richie's knees are bent over the end of the mattress, his feet still on the floor, and they're both still in their fucking monkey suits.

Richie had tried to make the case with his agent and his manager that he should be allowed to attend the Emmys in the same clothes he always wore (jeans, a shitty t-shirt, a semi-fashionable jacket, you know, the works.) They were good enough for his specials, one of which had earned him the nomination to begin with, but both Anna and Johnathan had pushed back hard, and when Eddie had not-so-subtly sided with them, well. Suit and tie it was.

29. Rewrite by sachi_sama - ~13,000 words, mature - Stan is dead, but somehow only Eddie can see him as they race to beat It. That’s...probably not a good sign. (note: Stan stays dead in this fic.)

“Whoa. Hey, Eds, you being a weepy drunk over there?” Richie asks, and he scoots over into Stan's seemingly empty chair, and Stan vanishes as Richie's hand is suddenly on Eddie's shoulder.

“I just—I saw...” Eddie pauses, and he wipes his hands over his eyes, sniffling. When's the last time he cried? It makes his head hurt every time. “Fuck. I'm sorry, guys.” He stands abruptly. “I'm gonna go splash some water on my face.” He hurriedly exits the room and he hears Mike asking what he saw, but Eddie is already power-walking across the restaurant to the bathroom, aware Dead Stan is hot on his heels.

“Lucky. The bathroom is empty,” Stan says as he leans against the wall. Eddie looks at him, really looks, and he sees the blood on Stan's wrists.

30. ** we are all going forward, none of us are going back series by theappliepielifestyle - ~21,000 words, teen - Richie gets stuck in a time loop and forced to repeat their last stand at Neibolt over and over until he gets it right.

Richie hears himself finish saying Let’s kill this clown and it’s only when he finishes forming the n that reality sets in. What the fuck -

He whirls around. Everyone’s standing around him, just like they were last night - they’re in front of the fucking house, it’s standing again.

“What the fuck,” Richie croaks. “No, come on - what’s going on? Ohhhh fuck.”

He only lets himself stare at it for a few seconds of unbridled hate before he keeps looking at the others, who are now staring at him, pausing from where they’d all taken a step towards the house before looking back and stopping to watch Richie’s nervous breakdown.

31. ** keep talking. i’ll keep walking toward the sound of your voice. by theapplepielifestyle - 16,000 words, teen - Eddie dies, sort of, and meets Stan in the afterlife. The two of them realize that they can communicate with their friends in their dreams. Eddie has to watch Richie slowly breakdown in his absence.

32. ** happily ever afters all the way around series by theapplepielifestyle - ~35,000 words, teen - I have so much appreciation for this author’s desire to fix the ending by any means necessary. In this one, that good old turtle lends a hand and sends Richie back in time to fix everything. It’s...a lot.

Then it smooths out into an actual scene, if jumpy: a sigil on wooden boards that look a lot like the floor of Richie’s apartment. The sigil is probably drawn in blood, but it could also be red paint. Although Richie’s being very optimistic about that. Anyway, the dream is mostly that: the sigil being drawn, slow and precise, by Richie. It’s dark in the dream, and the sigil being drawn is overcut with more fleeting images, chased with sounds: Stan’s bloody hand dangling out of a bath. Stan as a kid, on the tail end of saying something as he walks home in the evening. Eddie with blank eyed, slumped in IT’s lair. Eddie as a kid, in mid-argument in the clubhouse. A voice so deep and impossible that it hurts, a voice that reminds him of the turtle’s gaze: come back come back you can change the -

At the end of the dream, the scene will stabilize. Dream-Richie will say some shit he can't make out. Then he'll say the one thing he can make out, which is: I’m coming.

And then he’ll wake up.

LINK TO REDDIE FIC REC LIST PART TWO

#it #reddie #reddie fic #eddie kaspbrak #richie tozier #fic recs #ao3 #rec list #damn this took so long #i hope someone gets some use out of it

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wangxian-trash-cultivator · 4 years ago

Text

hold me tighter (even closer)

Summary: Wei Wuxian suffers from really bad nightmares sometimes. Lan Wangji wakes very early one morning to find him painting, it's been days since Wei Wuxian last slept. So Lan Wangji does what any good roommate would do... help him bathe and put him to bed.

Rating: T || Word count: 3800 || Tropes/Genres: omg they were roommates; hurt/comfort; childhood friends; light angst; pre-relationship wangxian; mutual pining

Notes: Originally created this as a twitter thread fic and adapted it for AO3. Come say hello on twitter! I’m in the process of converting other threadfics over. This is part of my omg they were roommates AU series. Enjoy!

AO3 Link || Original Twitter Thread

It’s nearly 4am when Lan Wangji wakes with a start. The culprit?

Oh, just another vivid sexual fantasy involving his close childhood friend.

You know. The one that’s now his roommate. In the next room over.

It’s not the first time it’s happened. Lan Wangji has grown accustomed to the places his mind takes him when he isn’t conscious enough to control it. To the scenes that always… linger when he wakes. Even now, he can’t shake the image of Wei Wuxian’s swollen lips around his—

Nope, nope, nope, he thinks and kicks the bedsheets off.

Oh. What a mess he’s managed to make this time.

With a quiet groan, Lan Wangji drags himself out of bed to get cleaned up. On the way to the bathroom he notices light creeping into the hall from under Wei Wuxian’s door.

He knows Wei Wuxian stays up late. He’s not sure how late most nights, but he’s usually asleep by the time Lan Wangji wakes up around 5 or 6.

Lan Wangji thinks nothing more of it and goes into the bathroom to shower. When he comes out again, Wei Wuxian’s light is still on.

Now it’s strange. Unless, maybe he fell asleep and forgot to shut the light off?

So Lan Wangji decides to investigate. He raps his knuckles against the door lightly. Testing. He doesn’t want to be too loud and actually wake him if he is asleep.

"Yeah?" Wei Wuxian’s voice calls out and he sounds tired. Beyond tired. Why is he still awake then?

"May I come in?" Lan Wangji asks.

"Sure, just be careful."

It’s an odd request, until Lan Wangji gently pushes open the door and sees why he said it.

It looks like a hurricane passed through. There are completed portraits strewn all over the room, some bone dry, some with fresh paint still glistening under the lights.

Most of them are pure chaos. Horrifying images of beasts and distorted faces painted in heavy blacks, greys, and reds. The longer Lan Wangji looks, the more he feels like he is being sucked into a chasm of despair.

Wei Wuxian is sitting, hunched over, in the middle of the floor. The eye of the storm. He’s built himself a little nest of blank canvases, brushes, paints, and inks for easier access.

When Wei Wuxian looks up from the canvas he is currently working with on his lap and offers a tired smile Lan Wangji’s chest feels uncomfortably tight. Tired isn’t the right word at all. He looks like he’s barely tethered to reality.

"Good morning, Lan Zhan."

His voice sounds all wrong. It wasn’t as noticeable with the barrier of the door to mask it before. Lan Wangji has never heard him sound so drained before.

"Wei Ying, what is wrong?"

"Couldn’t sleep," Wei Wuxian says and drops his gaze back down to the canvas. Lan Wangji waits for him to say more, because he always says more.

He doesn’t.

Lan Wangji’s chest constricts again.

"Wei Ying."

"Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian says without looking up.

Ever since they were kids Lan Wangji has not known any stretch of silence to last this long between them. It’s like he’s been possessed and placed in a trance where all he can do is zone out and paint. He crosses the room, treading carefully around the minefield of canvases, and clears a space to sit beside Wei Wuxian.

Now that he’s this close, Lan Wangji sees that the floor isn’t the only thing suffering right now. Wei Wuxian’s arms are stained with ink and covered in splotches of acrylic paint.

"Wei Ying, will you tell me why you cannot sleep?"

Because it does not make sense that he can’t sleep when he looks and sounds the way that he does right now. Lan Wangji cannot wrap his head around it at all.

Wei Wuxian dips the brush into an inkpot and hovers it over the canvas, it’s so saturated that the ink drips and splatters within seconds, adding to the accidental portrait he has created on his own skin. Lan Wangji tries to ignore that the existing red splotches look like dried blood.

He turns his attention to the canvas instead. It looks like some sort of dog, only worse. Ferocious with matted fur, giant bloody fangs and piercing red eyes.

It resurrects something dormant in Lan Wangji’s memory. A conversation they had as teenagers.

"Wei Ying," he starts off softly. ‘Is it happening again?’

Wei Wuxian pauses for a moment, curls his fingers tighter around the brush and nods once.

"Yes."

The single word is hoarse and heavy. It sends an arrow straight through Lan Wangji’s heart.

To call them bad dreams would be putting it lightly.

Wei Wuxian would wake in the middle of the night, unable to move or discern whether or not he was awake or still dreaming.

Sometimes he could remember the nightmares with vivid detail.

Sometimes only the indescribable fear would follow and cling to him like a second skin. He wouldn’t always know why he felt so scared.

Sometimes the feeling would just persist without any rhyme or reason.

He had approached Lan Wangji when they were about 13 or 14 to ask if he ever experienced anything like that before.

Lan Wangji had not.

After hearing that Wei Wuxian tried to brush it off and pretend like it was nothing.

Not wanting to pressure him to discuss it further Lan Wangji had let it go at the time.

Until Wei Wuxian stayed over one night and he witnessed firsthand just how much it affected him.

They were sharing Lan Wangji’s bed at the time.

Even though Wei Wuxian had not woken up screaming, he had sat up so abruptly, panting in the dark, that Lan Wangji could not help but be roused as well. Still, he brushed it off when Lan Wangji tried to ask about it. Like he was embarrassed to even bring attention to it.

All Wei Wuxian asked was to be held until he fell asleep again.

So Lan Wangji had held him. And let it go once more. Who was he to make Wei Wuxian discuss something when it clearly made him uncomfortable?

But he did his own research and learned about sleep paralysis, night terrors and how stress can cause recurring vivid nightmares. When he went to share all of this with him, Wei Wuxian had announced that everything stopped altogether.

So the conversation was shelved yet again.

As far as Lan Wangji knows, it’s been years since something like this occurred.

Now that he thinks about it though, it would have been easy for Wei Wuxian to conceal the truth and just not bring it up.

But he can’t do that now that they’re living together.

Lan Wangji tentatively places a hand on Wei Wuxian's forearm. He stops painting.

"Wei Ying, how long have you been awake?"

"I don’t know," Wei Wuxian says. "Two days? I stopped counting."

Lan Wangji brushes his thumb over a flaky patch of paint on Wei Wuxian’s arm. How could he not have noticed him passing like a ghost through the apartment for two days?

"I know you do not like to talk about it, so I will not ask if that is what you wish."

Wei Wuxian lifts his head to look at him and… fuck.

The skin beneath his eyes is shiny and bruised. And speaking of his eyes. They’re so bloodshot, holding none of the chaotic energy that Lan Wangji has come to siphon off of him over the years like elixir for the soul.

"Lan Zhan, I’m so fucking tired. I just want to sleep and I can’t even do that."

The way he says it really should not be making Lan Wangji’s sweatpants feels so uncomfortably tight all of a sudden.

It’s not like he just had a sex dream about Wei Wuxian begging and whining in that exact tone of voice.

Nope, not at all.

But then Wei Wuxian’s eyes start welling up and it immediately pulls Lan Wangji back to reality.

If he starts crying there is no way Lan Wangji is going to be able to keep himself together either. And from the looks of it Wei Wuxian really is dangerously close to falling apart.

Lan Wangji wants to shake him for bottling it all up and keeping this to himself for two whole days. Hell, he wants to shake himself for not paying attention better. He won’t make that mistake again.

"Come," Lan Wangji says, gentle yet firm.

"Where?" Wei Wuxian asks.

"You are covered in paint," Lan Wangji states and plucks the brush from his hands. Wei Wuxian releases it without a fight. "I will start the shower for you."

Lan Wangji gets to his feet and offers a hand out to Wei Wuxian. He allows himself to be tugged off of the floor and only once he’s standing does Lan Wangji realise the flaw in his plan.

Wei Wuxian can barely stand without swaying on the spot. Shoving him into the shower, alone, would just be asking for an accident to occur.

"I will draw a bath instead. Come, Wei Ying." Lan Wangji carefully snakes an arm around his waist to lead him.

"Lan Zhan, taking such good care of me," Wei Wuxian says, notably a little delirious now that he’s actively stringing more than two words together.

Lan Wangji can feel his ears getting warm. If Wei Wuxian notices how red they’ve gone, he doesn’t say anything more about it.

After guiding him to the bathroom, Lan Wangji carefully maneuvers him to sit on the toilet while he gets the bath ready.

"Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan! I like a lot of bubbles."

Lan Wangji rolls his eyes. He knew that already, had already poured the bubble bath soap with a heavy hand. But he tips the bottle over again and pours just a little more in for him.

As the water rises, Lan Wangji rummages through the cabinet and extracts a small essential oil diffuser. He sets it up on the counter and pours a few drops of sandalwood scented oil.

"Lan Zhan, that smells like you," Wei Wuxian says with a dreamy smile plastered to his face. ‘It’s nice.’

In the mirror Lan Wangji can see his ears have turned a deeper shade of red.

Wei Wuxian is now humming to himself as Lan Wangji shuts the water off and realizes… well fuck. Now he has to get Wei Wuxian in to the tub. And to do that he’ll need to….

Okay, so it’s not like they haven’t seen each other naked before. They grew up together. Shared locker rooms at school. Have had plenty of sleepovers in the past where the accidental glimpse while the other was changing was inevitable.

Wei Wuxian likes to be naked most of the time anyways. Especially during the summer. And especially when he’s drunk.

It should not feel awkward. It’s just friends helping friends.

Lan Wangji is helping his sleep-deprived friend— who he just so happens to be very much attracted to and over the moon in love with— to strip down and…

Oh .

Wei Wuxian has already pulled off his shirt by the time Lan Wangji turns away from the bath to look at him. He tosses it into the corner and settles his hands onto the waistband, clearly already prepared to shimmy out of the pants while still sitting.

Lan Wangji feels as though he’s been plunged underwater. Every movement feels sluggish, and there’s a strange sort of muffled buzzing.

He realizes it’s Wei Wuxian speaking to him.

"Sorry, what did you say?" Lan Wangji asks, dazed.

"I asked if you could help me with these. I get dizzy if I move around too much."

There’s absolutely no way that Wei Wuxian can’t hear the way Lan Wangji’s heart is pounding right now. It might actually come flying right through his chest if it keeps up like this.

Collect yourself, he thinks.

He doesn’t trust himself to speak yet, manages a nod instead.

Lan Wangji is already on his knees when he shuffles closer to Wei Wuxian.

"Lean back," he says, throat dry, and places his hands alongside Wei Wuxian’s on the waistband. Not touching.

As fingers dip beneath the fabric though, Lan Wangji feels his heart climb up into his throat upon realizing Wei Wuxian isn’t wearing anything else beneath the pants.

Of course he isn’t. Why would he?

It’s like he’s trying to separate Lan Wangji’s soul from his body without even realizing it.

He swallows thickly.

"Lift your hips." It takes everything in him not to stutter.

Wei Wuxian’s hands brush against his as he relocates them to hold himself up. The brief contact feels like an electric shock. Like Lan Wangji has never known touch before now.

Which is ridiculous.

Ridiculous because Wei Wuxian grabs hold of his hands on a regular basis. Physical touch is just his natural form of communication with anyone and everyone.

Lan Wangji closes his fingers tighter around the fabric to prevent himself from trembling.

Either Wei Wuxian is actually electing not to tease him for once or he really is just too tired to notice anything.

Effortlessly, Lan Wangji works the pants down Wei Wuxian’s slender hips and is now faced with another dilemma.

He’s been avoiding Wei Wuxian’s face the entire time, keeping himself focused on the task directly in front of him. Which means he is now staring directly at Wei Wuxian’s fully exposed dick.

Like full on staring at it. Can’t-look-away-if-he-tried (please don’t ask him to look away) staring at it.

They’ve caught glimpses of each other in the past. But never has he allowed his gaze to linger.

"Lan Zhan?" Wei Wuxian asks, amused. His words are muffled static again, but the next part comes out crystal clear. "Like what you see?"

Lan Wangji is having a heart attack. There’s no other explanation for it. This must be what a heart attack feels like.

And his ears may forever be stained red at this rate.

Reflexively, he turns his attention up to Wei Wuxian’s face and nearly melts because that smile, oh god that smile he has on really will be the death of him.

Wei Wuxian has to know what it does to people when he smiles like that. With eyes slightly squinting shut, the subtle wrinkling of his nose. He uses all of the muscles in his face to portray his happiness.

Lan Wangji feels the earth shudder to a halt when he looks at him like that.

"I’m only teasing," Wei Wuxian says. He shivers, quickly and quietly.

And with a jolt, the world begins to spin again.

Lan Wangji stands up and wraps an arm around him to help him into the tub. After he’s managed to carefully sit him down into the water he gets to his feet again, poised to offer him some privacy and return when—

Cold fingers intertwine with his.

Lan Zhan? Wei Wuxian asks, uncharacteristically soft. "Can you stay with me?"

Back still to him, Lan Wangji’s breath hitches. He prays Wei Wuxian hasn’t noticed. He turns to find another smile waiting for him. It looks as though he is using whatever remaining energy he has to offer it.

Words fail. Lan Wangji nods and sinks down to his knees once again.

Wei Wuxian leans his head back against the wall and closes his eyes. He doesn’t release Lan Wangji’s hand.

Lan Wangji remembers drinking too much once. Remembers the pressure wrapped around his forehead like a rope tied too tight with weights attached. He feels like that now. Drowsy and drunk as he wades sluggishly through the river of thoughts running rampant in his brain.

He blames it on the heavy scent of sandalwood mixing with the rising steam of the bath water.

"Lan Zhan?" Wei Wuxian’s voice slices through the mist.

"Yes, Wei Ying?"

Lan Wangji feels Wei Wuxian’s hand clench his tightly once, pumping a secret message through his fingertips. "You’re a really good friend."

The wild thumping of his jackrabbit heart in his ears muffles his own words when he replies. "It’s nothing."

Wei Wuxian languidly opens his eyes and fixes him with a look. He opens his mouth, closes it again. A speechless Wei Wuxian is such a strange sight. It’s honestly a little unsettling.

Lan Wangji appreciates the stillness of solitude at times. But not when Wei Wuxian is around. He silently revels in the chaos that Wei Wuxian carries with him wherever he goes.

"I should have come to you days ago, you always know how to calm me down. I don’t know why I didn’t."

I wish that you did, Lan Wangji thinks.

"You are here with me now," Lan wangji says instead.

"How are you always so patient with me?"

Lan Wangji doesn’t know what to say. He imitates Wei Wuxian’s gesture from before, squeezes his hand like it will convey all that he wants to say, but can’t.

Wei Wuxian smiles back dreamily in response. Lan Wangji thinks that maybe he does get the message after all.

They sit in the silence for a few moments before Wei Wuxian starts to nod off, jerking his head up with a start and looking around with wide eyes whenever it falls towards his chest.

Lan Wangji decides to be brave. Squeezes his hand again and forces the words to come.

"Wei Ying, please talk to me about it."

Wei Wuxian raises his free hand from beneath the water, mostly clean except for the ink stains that will take days to fade away, and rubs his forehead. He sighs quietly.

Lan Wangji waits patiently. He doesn’t want to press, but he’s prepared to if he must.

"I watched you die," Wei Wuxian says despondently. "Well, more like ripped apart by—”

He stops, closes his eyes and breathes deeply before opening them again.

"It’s always feels so real when it happens. I tried to tell myself it wasn’t and go back to sleep, but it kept coming back. I get myself worked up and it always comes back. Ever since we were young."

Lan Wangji swallows, squeezes his hand again. His recurring death being the main theme of Wei Wuxian’s nightmares was honestly never on his list of probabilities.

But then again, he never explicitly said what it was that ripped him away from peace in the middle of the night. It was one of the few secrets that he clung to.

"Why do you think I asked you to hold me until I fell asleep again all those years ago? And the few times I’ve come into your bed now after drinking too much?"

Lan Wangji’s throat is a desert. The question is probably rhetorical. Something he should know the answer to without having to ask. But he can’t stop himself.

"Why?"

"I needed to know you were there with me. That you were safe and it wasn’t real because I felt you there with me— Lan Zhan!"

The water in the tub is not quite as hot, but still warm when Lan Wangji leans over and falls in as he throws his arms around Wei Wuxian’s neck, clinging tightly. It’s an awkward scene, with his legs still hanging over the edge of the tub as his ass settles onto Wei Wuxian’s lap. He should be the one comforting Wei Wuxian right now, but the hand moving against his spine makes it feel like the tables have turned.

"Wei Ying, why did you not come to me now?"

"Ah, Lan Zhan, will you really make me say it?"

Something in his tone of voice hints at it. He’s embarrassed. The great shameless Wei Wuxian is embarrassed.

"Tell me," Lan Wangji says, leaning back enough to look at him.

"It’s not fair of you to hold me down and force the truth out of me like this, you know!" Wei Wuxian tries to deflect.

"Tell me," Lan Wangji repeats firmly.

Wei Wuxian sighs. "It’s awkward to say. It feels childish to be afraid of such imaginary things. Children have nightmares, not adults."

Lan Wangji could kick him if he didn’t want to kiss him so badly right now. Of all the things he could claim to be childish.

"Children are afraid of the dark," Lan Wangji says.

"Yes—"

"And so is Wei Ying."

"That’s beside the point."

"Children are afraid of monsters."

"Don’t even—"

“And so is Wei Ying."

"Lan Zhannnn, I’m too tired to be made fun of like this," Wei Wuxian whines, pouting as he looks away.

Lan Wangji wants to lean forward and take that quivering lip between his teeth.

"Wei Ying?" Lan Wangji asks softly and earns his attention again. "I do not think it is childish to fear losing those close to you."

"No," Wei Wuxian replies. "I suppose it isn’t childish at all."

They stay like that for a while, embracing as the bubbles dissipate. When Wei Wuxian begins shivering again, teeth chattering loudly in Lan Wangji’s ear, they decide it’s finally time to move.

Lan Wangji stands first, midsection drenched and dripping water along the floor as he retrieves a towel from the cabinet. He helps Wei Wuxian up and wraps it around him, supporting his weight as he dries him off.

"L-L-Lan Zh-an-an?" he chatters out. How is he always so cold?

"Mn?" Lan Wangji grabs another dry towel and wraps it around him.

Wei Wuxian sighs contentedly, nestling in closer.

"Can I sleep in your room?"

That is exactly where Lan Wangji was planning on leading him anyways.

"Yes."

"Will you hold me until I fall asleep?"

And that is exactly what Lan Wangji was planning to do anyways.

"Of course, Wei Ying."

After helping Wei Wuxian get dressed and settled onto the bed, Lan Wangji changes out of his own soaking wet clothes before laying down to join him.

Normally, Lan Wangji would be sipping his morning tea in the kitchen or out on the balcony by now. His day would have begun hours ago.

Instead Wei Wuxian drapes an arm over his waist and nuzzles in closer, his breath warm and steady against his neck when he whispers, "Goodnight, Lan Zhan, and thank you," and then falls asleep almost instantly.

Lan Wangji runs his fingers through Wei Wuxian’s hair, presses his lips ever so gently to the top of his head, and breathes his confession onto deaf ears, "Goodnight, Wei Ying. I love you."

#wangxian #wangxian fic #lan zhan #wei ying #lan wangji #wei wuxian #the untamed #mdzs #the untamed fanfiction #mdzs fanfiction #omg they were roommates #hold me tighter (even closer)#wangxian trash #hurt/comfort #light angst #mutual pining

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grapefruitsketches · 5 years ago

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Untamed Spring Fest 2020 - Days 24-30: Chapter 1, Gentle (Day 24)

Part of my Songxiao post-canon fix-it fic series:

Also available AO3: link

1,994 Words, Post-Canon, Songxiao, Wangxian, hurt/comfort, angst, recovery

Chapter 1: Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen are alive, healthy, and most importantly, together. But they still have a long way to go. Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji understand this better than anyone

“I must return something to you,” Hanguang-Jun’s voice rung out like a shout to Xingchen’s sensitive ears.

They were in a guest room in Cloud Recesses, kneeling by a table, having just finished their first meal (breakfast? Dinner? Xingchen didn’t know) since Xingchen had awoken in his body for the first time in seven years. The Gusu Lan Sect food had been bland, but Xingchen had been grateful for that. Any warmth burned, any spice stung, any sweetness was sickly. His taste buds were used to dust and stale air. The scent of freshly cleaned linens and sandalwood was sharp to his nose. He felt full, but was unused to a body that could feel empty. His arms were weak. Zichen had taken the spoon from his hand after his shaky grip spilled nearly half the soup he had picked up back into the bowl. He was delicate, feeling more solid than he had in a long time, but he had also never felt so vulnerable. He was glad to be indoors, since he felt that right now, even a gentle breeze, so tied to his reputation (or previous reputation) in the cultivation world, would seem threatening to him.

“I kept it safe,” Lan Wangji continued to read aloud from the hastily scrawled words as Song Lan reached towards Xiao Xingchen, Shuanghua laid out across his palms.

Xiao Xingchen felt Song Lan’s shaking but warm hands fall into his, slowly sharing, then passing the weight of the sword back to its true master.

Xingchen flinched. He had been expecting the sword’s usual coolness, but the metal seared his skin with a cold he had been unprepared for, a jolt through his palms as the weight of the familiar sword hit his hands, and the backs of his hands hit the table, unable to hold the sword unsupported with the atrophied body he had returned to. He was not sure he wanted to carry the sword anyway.

It thrust forward. He felt the impact. “Is that you?” he had asked, not knowing that his question should have been directed at Shuanghua’s victim, not his seeming companion.

“Zichen? Zichen? Is that you?” he had said, this time directing the question to the right person, but far too late. The realization. The sharp kiss of the blade against his throat… no more until… until…

He swallowed, hands clenching tight on the sheathed blade. A touch on his shoulder, Zichen’s gentle hand, stabilizing his shuddering form as he held Shuanghua in his hands again. The blade that had done such damage. That he had trusted to such devastating effects. It made sense that his body, so unused to feeling, to touch, would be particularly repulsed by the blade that had destroyed first the innocent, then his heart, before finally turning on himself.

Though he was sure the others could see the hot, iron-scented tears he felt running down his face, he forced his mouth into a soft smile. The weight was his to bear. He was not at fault, he understood that now, after all these years of reflection, of slowly putting his soul back together. But it had been the pair of them, his hand and his sword, who had been the instrument of all this hardship, who had trusted each other and those around them too readily. And that would be his burden as the one who bore this hand, this sword, for his life to come.

He breathed, “Thank you, Zichen,” he said, managing to keep a quiver out of his voice as he leaned into the hand. Xiao Xingchen rose to one knee, then a foot as he stood up, unused muscles thrumming back to life as he used them to draw the sword for the first time since it had taken his own life.

Lan Wangji, meanwhile, watched Song Lan’s face. The soft frown, his brows laced with caution. The not so subtle glances from Xiao Xingchen’s face to Shuanghua, gleaming dangerously, no less sharp than it had been all those years ago, trusting the holder, but unable to forget the power of the weapon. Song Lan was a mirror of everything Lan Wangji had felt coursing through him four years earlier in Guanyin Temple, watching Wei Ying easily catch Chenqing and draw it to his lips, memories of quiet nights in the midst of the Sunshot Campaign, a flute and a guqin singing together through the night, overwhelmed and tainted by flashes of tears, blood, pain, Chenqing falling off the cliff first, and, as always, calling its master to follow its descent down… down…

Lan Wangji hoped Song Lan would write something, that it would be made clear that he was still meant to be here. The two rogue cultivators were silent and still, but for the slow circles Song Lan’s hand drew on Xingchen’s back and Xiao Xingchen’s fingers slowly travelling over every inch of the sword, as though looking for some physical defect to confirm its scarred history. Red tears streamed down Xiao Xingchen’s face. Song Lan reached for a still damp cloth from the tray where the now empty spirit pouch lay, reaching to catch the tears before they had a chance to reach white robes. Lan Wangji looked away. This felt like a private moment, but he could neither leave without a word, in case Song Lan wanted to say something, nor did he feel like he could interrupt to excuse himself. But the two, for the moment, seemed to recognize little else but each other.

He tried to clear his mind, closing his eyes and senses to the world around, blurring out the sound of Xiao Xingchen’s gentle whispers of thanks, of reassurance that he was ok, turning away from the tender but hesitant look and touch with which Song Lan refamiliarized himself with his beloved. Lan Wangji longed for a more concrete distraction from the scene before him, both out of courtesy and also because this reunion served as a painful reminder of the long years of separation leading to his own.

He was considering the merits of playing his guqin to remind the couple that he was still there, when Wei Ying, as always, came just in time to save him.

He entered the guest room with a handful of loquats. He grinned openly at Lan Wangji, whose reflexive response was a relieved if still restrained smile. Wei Ying tossed him a piece of fruit. Only after he confirmed that Lan Wangji, having easily caught the loquat, would actually eat it did Wei Ying turn to the guests, then back to his husband, who was still carefully avoiding any glance to that side of the room.

Wei Wuxian let out a quiet laugh, understanding Lan Zhan’s dilemma at once.

“Xiao-xiong! Song-xiong!” Wei Wuxian called. The two cultivators’ faces snapped towards the door, Song Lan blinking as though coming out of a dream, “I’m just going to grab Lan Zhan for a little bit if that’s ok? We’ll be by the warren if you need anything.”

Xiao Xingchen smiled, bowing his head mildly, seeming much less disoriented, or at least better at masking it, than his partner, “Of course, Wei-gongzi. We will come find you if anything comes up.”

“Thank you,” Wei Wuxian bowed quickly, then beamed, grabbing Lan Zhan’s wrist, “Let’s go, Lan Zhan!”

The two left the guest room, making their way to the rabbit colony. Wei Wuxian noticed that Lan Zhan’s hand, which had crept its way up to take his wrist’s place in Wei Wuxian’s hand, held his own more tightly than usual.

“What’s wrong?” Wei Wuxian asked, earning himself only a slow, barely audible breath from his husband in response.

Wei Wuxian was not deterred. He had spent years decoding, studying, now practicing the subtle language of Lan Zhan’s expressions. He prided himself in its mastery, revelled in the looks of surprise whenever he correctly guessed even the most well-hidden of worries, (celebrated the rarity of the fearful, tearful, frustrated expressions that had often marked his previous life’s study of a face that should never bear anything but a smile).

While Lan Zhan might not be so forthcoming in the public, well-travelled areas of the Cloud Recesses, the bunnies’ warren provided just the privacy and comfort they needed.

They sat amongst the sea of fluffy snowballs, both silent, enjoying the quiet and the sun. Wei Wuxian felt a tickle on his hand, which was pressed into the ground as he leaned back. He looked down to see a small rabbit sniffing curiously at it.

Wei Wuxian smiled and picked the bunny up, stroking its ears gently, “Little rabbit, little rabbit, can you get my silly husband to tell me what thoughts are going through his head?” he asked, before turning to lay the bunny in Lan Zhan’s lap, “Let’s see if you have any luck.”

Lan Zhan’s eyes widened as though it was still a surprise that such a small creature would settle so cozily against his form. His mouth curved into the smallest smile as he lifted the bunny to his face. Wei Wuxian’s eyes crinkled as he grinned at his husband, who seemed unaware both that Wei Wuxian was watching him, and at the fact that his eyes crossed gently as they followed the bunny closer to his face.

Wei Wuxian settled back. He still wanted to talk to Lan Zhan about his conflicted expression in the guest room. He guessed it might be related to the bittersweet memories of their own reunion that their guests, one smiling, one silent, that had been brought to the front of his own mind since Xiao Xingchen had awoken. But Lan Zhan seemed to need some distance from the cause before he could discuss the effects. He knew Lan Zhan would talk to him once he had had the chance to regain his usual calm.

Closing his eyes to the warmth of the sun, the wind carrying a gentle floral scent towards them from somewhere upstream, he remembered a time when Lan Zhan was not simply quiet, peaceful as he was now, but closed off. He remembered the moments he had broken through that wall, first provoking anger, then concern, and finally, the first smile at a bunny on a lantern before they had made the pledge that would define so much of what followed.

He remembered having to slowly ease open the various gates and doors keeping others away from where Lan Zhan was most vulnerable. Admit to pain, to grief, to love. He remembered the simultaneous feeling that Lan Zhan was doing the same to him, tearing down barriers he hadn’t even known he had. The sheer intensity of the initial exposure of long hidden parts of himself to another, of uncovering wounds long concealed, many reopening before they could heal. He remembered a gradual climb, travelling apart, together, building and rebuilding parts of themselves that finally had the space to fall apart. Eventually able to settle into the synchronicity, the stability, the love that had now come to define their every day life together.

The looks on Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen’s faces reminded him of the them of before, shortly after Wei Wuxian’s return, the awkward reversal of grief, of guilt examined, forgiveness denied due to a refusal to blame. It drew them both to a time before so much healing, so much growth.

Wei Wuxian kept his eyes closed and felt sideways blindly until he found the hand he was looking for and squeezed. Lan Zhan, silently squeezed back. Not a word was spoken, no glance exchanged, but everything that needed to be said was understood.

He was glad that Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen were now able to start their long journey forward together. He and Lan Zhan would help however they could. He was though, perhaps selfishly, glad that this new beginning was theirs and nothing but a distant memory for him and Lan Zhan.

Next: Chapter 2, Harmony: Song Lan asks Lan Wangji for some help.

#untamed spring fest #the untamed #mdzs #cql #songxiao #wangxian #xiao xingchen #song lan #wei wuxian #lan wangji #I meant to write more of this today but it turns out I don't have the energy after all mypapers #so I guess for me the spring fest will continue about a week into May with this as the grand finale!#my writing #songxiao fix it series

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merakilyy · 5 years ago

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I Made My Choice and It Was You

Pairing: Wangxian, platonic Lan Xichen and Wei Ying bonding Tags: Post-canon, Hurt/comfort, domestic fluff, emotional baggage, minor PTSD and nightmares, family bonding Summary: It's hard for Lan Xichen to trust his judgement after having so blatantly misjudged the character of Jin Guangyao, but watching Wei Wuxian interact with his brother reminds him that good can come from his judgement. (The 5+1 fic that was supposed to be lighthearted and funny. Instead, it turned into Lan Xichen being the best brother (in-law) ever as he helps Wei Wuxian work through his complicated emotions and they bond over younger brothers and rabbits.)

On AO3

After the Guanyin Temple, mere weeks after entering seclusion in one of the deeper caves of Cloud Recesses, Lan Xichen found himself unwillingly dragged out of seclusion by none other than Lan Qiren, shufu , the Grandmaster himself.

As it turned out, Wangji had wasted no time before marrying Wei Wuxian. As Lan Qiren told it, Wangji had just barely been named Chief Cultivator when his first action was to take off with Wei Wuxian on Bichen and promptly disappear without warning. Had it been anyone else, their sudden disappearance would have been a major scandal. But it was the Yiling Patriarch and Hanguang-jun, and the cultivation world had just been turned upside down with Jin Guangyao’s downfall, so barely anyone even noticed their impromptu disappearance and the disapproval of a handful of sect leaders barely registered.

Two weeks later, Lan Wangji had returned with a familiar red ribbon tied snugly around his wrist and dragging along a cheerful Wei Wuxian on his arm. An even more familiar white ribbon held up Wei Wuxian’s hair.

While Lan Qiren and Lan Wangji had stepped inside the Yashi to discuss Wangji’s recent behaviour, Xichen had been left alone with his new brother-in-law to wait in the Jingshi.

A heavy silence fell upon them.

It wasn’t as though Xichen disliked Wei Wuxian, per se. He had found Wei Wuxian’s endless energy and penchant for finding himself in trouble endearing at times. After all, he had actively encouraged and pushed for Wei Wuxian to befriend Wangji back when he was just a visiting disciple from Yunmeng Jiang. Even during the Sunshot Campaign, he hadn’t actively discouraged Wangji from pining after Wei Wuxian. After Wangji told him of the Wen elders and children Wei Ying had taken with him into the Burial Mounds, Xichen still could not find it in him to fully denounce Wei Ying the way Lanling Jin and Qinghe Nie had. Even when Yunmeng Jiang turned against its former head disciple, Xichen and Gusu Lan officially maintained neutrality against the Yiling Patriarch. Xichen only disapproved of the Yiling Laozu’s methods, not the ideology.

But then the slaughter at the Nightless City happened and Xichen could only watch helplessly as he found himself on opposing sides with his own brother. Xichen did his best to keep the Lan disciples far from where Wangji and Wei Wuxian were tearing through the battlefield, not wanting to force Wangji to make that kind of decision. (A part of him already knew who Wangji would choose and he selfishly didn’t want to face that reality). Despite the distance, he saw Wei Wuxian throw himself off a cliff and the absolute grief on Lan Wangji’s face when Wei Wuxian finally slipped out of Lan Wangji’s bloodied fingers.

It was difficult to not hate Wei Ying as he watched Wangji in the aftermath of the Nightless City.

Still, Xichen did his best to push aside his feelings towards Wei Wuxian when he had returned for the sake of his brother. It became even harder to dislike Wei Wuxian after the truth about his golden core was revealed. Be righteous . Righteousness had been ingrained into each member of the Gusu Lan sect since birth; what else could such a selfless action be, to give away one’s own golden core, other than the highest form of righteousness?

Yet, a part of Xichen struggled to forgive Wei Wuxian for all the suffering he brought upon Wangji.

So, in the absence of a pressing mystery to solve and without Wangji’s presence, Xichen and Wei Wuxian found themselves sitting rather uncomfortably in the Jingshi. Xichen closed his eyes and prepared to settle his mind for meditation while Wei Wuxian fiddled with Chenqing and his new ribbon.

Wei Wuxian didn’t see Xichen’s eyes soften as he observed the tender way in which Wei Wuxian stroked his finger along the cloud embroidery on Wangji’s forehead ribbon as he absentmindedly found comfort in the physical manifestation of Lan Wangji’s love.

“Wangji is correct,” Xichen said, opening his eyes after his failed attempt at meditation.

Wei Wuxian jumped at the unexpected speech but said nothing, hands fiddling with Chenqing’s tassel.

“Wei Gong-zi is loud in everything that he does,” Xichen continued when Wei Wuxian said nothing. It was odd, seeing Wei Wuxian have so little to say. “Wei Gong-zi has a loud presence.”

“Ah. I. Apologize?” Wei Wuxian

“No need.” Lan Xichen knew well enough of Wei Wuxian’s endless ability to put his foot in his mouth at the most inopportune moments and silently commended Wei Wuxian’s attempt to mollify his new brother-in-law. “Wangji sees no fault with it, and recent events have more than proven that Wangji is a superior judge of character than I.”

A heavy silence settled between them again.

Wei Wuxian would rather be hit with Zidian than talk to Lan Xichen about the Guanyin Temple. The events of the Guanyin Temple were what exonerated and redeemed Wei Wuxian’s reputation. The Guanyin Temple restored Wei Wuxian’s life to him, but the Guanyin Temple ripped Lan Xichen’s life apart.

So they were at a bit of an impasse.

A shuffling noise brushed past the entrance of the Jingshi as a pair of disciples swiftly passed by. The relief on Wei Wuxian’s face from this distraction was palpable and Xichen was struck with a realization.

It wasn’t that Wei Wuxian didn’t have anything to say. Wei Wuxian had plenty to say and was quite literally vibrating with all that he wanted to say. But he didn’t say any of it out of the fear that he might inadvertently offend or hurt Xichen.

Despite the unease in the room, and his own ongoing inner turmoil, Xichen smiled ever so slightly. Lan Qiren was a lost cause, but Wei Ying did care about Xichen’s opinion because Wangji cared. For all his uncouth mannerisms, Wei Wuxian was and had always been far more perceptive than anyone (except Wangji) realized.

Xichen felt a weight lift from his shoulders. It was a subtle change, but Xichen noticed the relief he felt at this realization. It wasn’t that Xichen had ever doubted Wei Ying loved his brother, but it was hard to believe Wei Ying deserved the sheer amount of love Wangji had for him and it was hard to believe Wei Ying loved Wangji equally knowing what Wei Wuxian had done to Wangji in a past life.

But here was a Wei Wuxian who desperately wanted Lan Xichen’s approval just because Wangji still cared deeply for his brother’s approval. Xichen knew Wangji well enough to know Wangji would never admit to any of this, and the sheer fact that Wei Wuxian could read Wangji well enough to realize this and care endeared him to Xichen greatly.

Unfortunately, this realization did nothing to ease the fraught tension in the Jingshi.

But, at least Lan Xichen was able to return to his seclusion slightly lighter than when he left.

~~~

As was to be expected, Wangji was a regular visitor during Xichen’s seclusion. They rarely spoke these days -- Wangji saved his words for his husband and Xichen had few words since the Guanyin Temple. Instead, their preferred method of communication was to converse through music.

It had been years since they last used music as a regular form of communication. Sixteen years ago, Wangji had been grieving and music was Xichen’s last resort after his brother had been unresponsive to all interactions that did not involve A-Yuan. In a fit of desperation, Xichen had joined Wangji’s Inquiry with Liebing. Somehow it had worked and with that tenuous connection they slowly began to heal the Wei Ying-sized rift that had come between them. Back then, Xichen had not been able to understand how Wangji’s grief had nearly driven him to madness. Even as Wangji slammed Xichen with wave upon wave of soul crushing, unmitigated anguish through his guqin, Xichen could not fully comprehend the overwhelming sorrow that haunted Wangji down to his core.

Now, with the tables turned, Xichen still did not understand the full extent of his brother’s grief but he did at least gain an understanding of a fraction of what Wangji must have felt. It wasn’t that Xichen didn’t love Jin Guangyao. He trusted -- had trusted -- A-Yao to have had his back whenever he needed it and he would have done the same in return. The love and loyalty of a sworn brother was not so easily forgotten, even after A-Yao’s less than stellar deeds were revealed one after another. Even after the full extent of A-Yao’s treachery became known, Xichen continued to reserve a place in his heart for his sworn brother. For both his fallen brothers. Yet, at times it felt cheap to call his relationship with Jin Guangyao or Nie Mingjue loving when he could see the love Wangji had for Wei Wuxian. Even though Wei Wuxian was never their topic of conversation, Xichen could feel his brother’s love for Wei Ying in the undertone of every note. Wangji’s love for Wei Wuxian was all-consuming and radiated out from every part of his being. Wei Wuxian’s existence was loud, but Wangji’s love was even louder. As much as he had loved his sworn brothers, Xichen’s relationships with Nie Mingjue and Jin Guangyao contained barely a fraction of the kind of love Wangji had for Wei Ying.

Thinking back, Xichen shouldn’t have been so surprised when his mid-morning meditation was interrupted by Wei Wuxian for whom rules of propriety was more suggestion than mandate.

“Sect Leader Lan,” Wei Wuxian greeted somberly with a proper bow.

“I am in seclusion, Wei Gong-zi. I am no sect leader so there is no need for such formalities. We are brothers now.” Xichen looked at Wei Ying neutrally, unsure why his unruly brother-in-law was here and not helping his brother prepare for the upcoming Roundtable Conference.

“About that...” Wei Ying said in a tone that invited trouble. “You’re going to have to come out of seclusion.”

“Pardon?” Lan Xichen had forgotten how blunt Wei Ying could be. Or, rather, he was unprepared for the tactful tactlessness Wei Wuxian utilised when he wanted something.

“Cloud Recesses is hosting the next Cultivation Conference. We need a Sect Leader. Certainly Lan Zhan is the best in the world, but even he can’t represent Gusu Lan as both Sect Leader and Chief Cultivator. Imagine what ridiculous accusations Sect Leader Yao would come up with!“

Wei Ying’s inclusion of himself as a part of the Gusu Lan didn’t escape Xichen’s notice.

Wei Ying’s less than stellar appearance didn’t escape Xichen either.

It wasn’t obvious, and by no measure did Wei Ying look poorly, but Xichen did notice a heaviness in Wei Ying that hadn’t been there the last time they spoke after he and Wangji eloped. It was a different heaviness from his time as the Yiling Laozu and unrelated to his cultivation. This heaviness was more akin to exhaustion.

Wangji had always been careful to never mention his husband, not wanting to hurt his brother with the reminder of his own happiness. Xichen certainly would not have minded if all Wangji talked about was Wei Ying, though he greatly appreciated Wangji’s approach all the same. But, just as Wangji’s love couldn’t be contained, neither could his concern for his husband. It was a passing concern, and Xichen knew that if Wei Ying had been in any real danger Wangji would not have remained silent.

But, looking at Wei Ying now, Xichen could see the dark shadows under his eyes. While Wei Ying’s presence had always been loud before, it had since been tempered down and replaced with exhaustion. Wangji had briefly mentioned Wei Ying’s tendency towards nightmares after they fled Jinlin Tai, and Xichen suspected that tendency remained.

“Anyway,” Wei Ying continued when Xichen remained silent, “I would have offered to stand in as either but can you imagine the scandal that would cause? The Yiling Laozu playing at the Chief Cultivator? Or better yet: the Yiling Laozu as the new Sect Leader of Gusu Lan? Half the Sect Leaders would go into qi derivation on the spot! Besides, I can’t be dragging down Lan Zhan at these Conferences. I know Lan Zhan doesn’t care for politics but even Hanguang-jun’s reputation can only take so much.”

Xichen rather disagreed that anything could tarnish Wangji’s reputation now, nor did Wangji even care about his reputation, but he felt a flood of warmth towards Wei Ying for his concern.

“I understand Wei Gong-zi’s concerns but I am not understanding why it is required that I leave my seclusion,” Xichen said, staring at Wangji’s ribbon in Wei Ying’s hair. It was clearly tied by Wangji, with the bow tied in a careful butterfly and double knotted so that it would not come loose from Wei Ying’s unpredictable movements. Wangji had since replaced his own forehead ribbon but continued to wear Wei Ying’s red ribbon around his wrist. “Is Uncle unable to participate?” Xichen asked, concerned.

Wei Ying waved his concern away, “No, no, Old Man Lan is fine. Mostly. There was an incident with Jingyi last week which wasn’t his fault, really, I mean how could Jingyi know that the book was cursed? I never knew Old Man Lan could move that fast but it didn’t stop the book from knocking over a fountain and anyway he’s fine but he’s refusing to leave his secluded meditation for another week until his qi levels even out again.”

“And the Elders?”

“Sect Leader Lan,” Wei Ying gave Xichen a look that wasn’t quite judgemental, but it certainly wasn’t without judgement. “Would any of the elders do anything I asked of them?”

“Wangji can ask.”

“Lan Zhan is too busy.”

“Too busy to speak to our own Elders?”

“Yes?”

Unconvinced, Xichen simply looked at Wei Ying.

It wasn’t long before Wei Ying caved.

“Okay! It’s because Lan Zhan has been so busy and I wanted to do something useful beside just terrorizing the juniors, you know? I mean, I’m great at terrorizing the juniors and I have the best night hunting supervision record but that doesn’t exactly help Lan Zhan, you know? So I volunteered to organize the entire conference so Lan Zhan could just focus on his talking points because he’s doing all the hard work already! He’s trying to make real changes that no one important wants but Lan Zhan is the best and the little border towns no one wants to remember deserve our protection too. But apparently these conferences take a lot more work to set up than one would think and I still haven’t figured out how to arrange the seating so Jiang Cheng doesn’t get in a fistfight with Sect Leader Yao again and Sect Leader Ouyang has to be near Lanling Jin and Gusu Lan so Zizhen don’t get too lonely but Sect Leader Ouyang wants to be nowhere near me, and then I realized we’re missing an actual representative but I can’t ask Lan Zhan to do two jobs but the juniors are too young and no one else will do anything if I ask.” It wasn’t entirely clear if Wei Ying was still breathing at this point, but Xichen couldn’t help but be impressed that Wei Ying had volunteered to single handedly organize an entire conference.

Xichen sighed and nodded. He shouldn’t have expected any reason other than Wei Ying’s love for Wangji.

Besides, it would give him a chance to slip some sleeping herbs to Wangji to give to Wei Ying.

~~~

“Zewu-jun!”

Once again, Lan Xichen found his late morning meditation interrupted by Wei Wuxian, who breezed his way into the cave with all the subtlety of a hurricane.

“Zewu-jun!” Wei Wuxian bowed respectfully before throwing himself in a kowtow at Lan Xichen’s feet before Xichen could wrap his head around what was happening.

“Wei Gong-zi?” Xichen blinked at the sight before him, trying to understand what was happening. With his head bowed so low, Wei Wuxian’s hair had moved to the side and revealed a splattering of dark love bites along the back of his neck that only Wangji could have left. Blushing at the implications, at the physical evidence of Wei Wuxian’s nightly activities with his brother, Xichen quickly rushed to pull Wei Wuxian up from his kowtow.

“Wei Gong-zi, please, there is no need for such formalities between family.” Xichen’s hands gripped Wei Wuxian’s upper arms, holding Wei Wuxian upright so he would not try to kowtow again.

“But Zewu-jun! I need your help!” Wei Wuxian wailed, his hands tightly gripping Xichen’s forearms.

With Wei Wuxian upright, Xichen could see further love bites trailing down from just under Wei Wuxian’s ear into the high collar of his robes.

Wangji , Xichen thought pleadingly, some discretion . There was no rule against displaying one’s love, but there was one against debauchery. And, Xichen strongly suspected, once his uncle saw Wei Wuxian, there would be a new rule against leaving evidence of kisses.

Forcing his eyes to focus on Wei Wuxian’s face, and directing his mind to focus on the situation at hand, Xichen spoke. “Wei Gong-zi, are we not at peace? There are no events scheduled for the new few months. Why such urgency?”

Wei Wuxian’s eyes were wide and desperate. “But Zewu-jun! Lan Zhan’s birthday is coming soon and I don’t have a gift!”

Xichen blinked. “Is Wangji’s birthday not several months away?”

“Yes, but his gift needs to be perfect!”

Xichen would have liked to move this conversation to the table where they could talk over tea. However, Wei Wuxian was leaning heavily enough that Xichen suspected that if he loosened his grip the slightest bit, Wei Wuxian would return to kowtowing.

“Wei Wuxian, I don’t understand. Wangji views your presence as the greatest gift. There is no need to give unnecessary material goods.”

“But Zewu-jun! You don’t understand!” Wei Wuxian’s grip on Xichen’s forearms was growing tighter and tighter. If this went on much longer, Xichen suspected he would find handprint shaped bruises on his arms. “Lan Zhan is so good to me! My gifts will never be good enough and I can't match up to what Lan Zhan will give me without your help.”

Confused, Xichen tried to push Wei Wuxian’s body upright. “But Wei Gong-zi, you have given Wangji many excellent gifts in the past. He enjoys his rabbits immensely and they bring him much joy, you left him Lan Sizhui for a gift and watching Sizhui’s growth was Wangji's sole purpose to live for a long time, and you have now given him your heart.”

“Zewu-jun, you don’t understand! Lan Zhani gives me little things everyday. He cooks all my meals just for me so I can enjoy every meal! He learned how to use spices for me! He hides Emperor's Smile in the jingshi so I can have it whenever I want and he’s the one who raised Sizhui into a perfect son! He lets me sleep in and brushes my hair and Lan Zhan is perfect. Lan Zhan even wrote a song just for me! Zewu-jun, I have no money and have nothing to offer him!”

Wei Wuxian looked as though he was about to burst into tears with how much Wangji loved him and Xichen couldn’t decide whether to feel joy at how dedicated Wangji and his husband were to each other, or to immediately soothe Wei Wuxian before he actually cried. But, with Wei Wuxian so close, Xichen also noted with satisfaction that the dark bags under Wei Wuxian’s eyes from the last time he had seen him had faded greatly.

“Wei Gong-zi,” Xichen said slowly, carefully, trying to pacify Wei Wuxian. “Did you know, Wangji has kept every gift you’ve ever given him? Every scrap of paper, every sketch, even the flower from Baifeng Mountain he keeps.”

“Of course! But Zewu-jun those are such little things.”

“Wei Gong-zi, you must know that Wangji will treasure any gift you present him with.” Xichen smiled, trying to pacify his brother-in-law.

“I know,” Wei Wuxian looked down, though he no longer leaned so heavily on Xichen’s arms. “Which is why I need to do something Lan Zhan will actually enjoy. I don’t want him to keep something he hates just because I gave it to him.”

Xichen remained silent for a moment, thinking. He let his hands release Wei Wuxian as he was no longer at risk of being kowtowed to. “My brother,” Xichen said, softly, thoughtfully, “he is a man of action, not substance. A gift need not be big, but Wangji will understand the intention behind it. Wangji has always enjoyed your paintings, and has always appreciated your penchant for creativity. I cannot tell you what to give, but I believe Wei Gong-zi will find the adequate gift for Wangji.”

For a long moment, Wei Wuxian was silent, thinking through Xichen’s words. He was quiet long enough for Xichen to almost return to his meditation when Wei Wuxian recovered.

“I understand now! Thank you Zewu-jun!”

Cheerful, Wei Wuxian raised his hands above his head. Xichen stared, confused, for half a second before he realized what Wei Wuxian was about to do.

Horrified, Lan Xichen was almost yelling. “No, Wei Wuxian! Please, stop! We are family now! You need not kowtow to family!”

~~~

In the end, Lan Xichen didn’t remain in seclusion for very long.

He did return to seclusion after the conference which, despite being organized primarily by Wei Wuxian, had gone perfectly smoothly. (Secretly, Xichen thought the conference went smoothly precisely because it had been organized by Wei Wuxian.) No fistfights broke out, no new rivalries came to light, no extramarital affairs took place, and no one left horribly dissatisfied with the implemented changes. Lan Zhan and Wei Ying had convinced all the sects to contribute to a collective fund to support activities for poorer villages that couldn’t afford to hire a cultivator but required their services and to build a series of schools to educate promising young cultivators who were no longer connected to a sect. But a year after the Guanyin Temple, he was rather forcibly encouraged to return to his position and duties by Wei Wuxian.

Not by Wei Wuxian directly. Wei Wuxian himself had very little to do with actually leaving seclusion, but it was because of Wei Wuxian that Xichen ended his seclusion so soon.

In a classic Wei Wuxian move, he managed to break three ribs, a hip, receive a nasty wolf bite on his thigh, and enjoy some internal bleeding after taking a group of junior disciples from Gusu Lan and Lanling Jin on a night hunt.

What happened was this: Wei Wuxian was standing on a tree branch, observing the juniors from above as they took down a standard beast. The night hunt went smoothly. No injuries, and no one cried. Jingyi and Jin Ling even managed to avoid getting into a shouting match. The problem was a stray dog. No one ever saw the dog, but Wei Wuxian very much heard the dog bark and, in his panic, fell off the branch he was standing on.

Certainly, that was far from the first tree Wei Wuxian had fallen out of. Hanguang-jun would not have punished the juniors, though it would certainly feel like a punishment when Hanguang-jun inevitably levelled his disappointed glare upon them for allowing Wei Wuxian to be careless and get bruised. But, it was nothing out of the ordinary. And really, it shouldn’t have been a problem except that the tree was near a cliff. It wasn’t a steep cliff and Hanguang-jun may have just assigned the juniors with undesirable chores for a couple days to make a point, but there was a rocky patch where Wei Wuxian landed. Some especially jagged rocks left deep scrapes and minor lacerations along Wei Wuxian’s arms and hands and the impact broke a few bones. And perhaps the juniors could still have avoided a severe punishment since it was Wei Wuxian’s fault for climbing up a tree so close to a cliff. But, naturally the rocks were not the only things waiting at the bottom of a cliff. A wild wolf had wandered into the area to investigate the new sounds, which set off Wei Wuxian’s terror, which in turn alarmed the wolf. No one saw what happened exactly, but everyone heard Wei Wuxian’s screams as he ran away, in spite of his injuries, and the wolf’s snarls as it chased Wei Wuxian.

Hanguang-jun found Wei Wuxian before the juniors did.

“So,” Xichen asked Sizhui as they stood outside the Jingshi after Sizhui recounted the events that had transpired, “what happened to the juniors Wei Wuxian was supervising?”

“Jingyi sent a signal to Hanguang-jun as soon as Senior Wei slipped from the tree.” Sizhui had not been on this night hunt, having been relegated to the task of teaching the youngest disciples the basics of qin playing while the regular instructor was recovering from a broken finger.

“And where is Lan Jingyi now?”

“Copying five hundred sets of the rules under the supervision of Grandmaster Lan.”

“Handstands?”

Sizhui nodded. “Hanguang-jun was not pleased.”

If he had any less self-discipline, Xichen would have sighed. It wasn’t like Wangji to lash out at their junior disciples over Wei Wuxian’s actions.

Having been raised by the reserved Hanguang-jun, Sizhui recognized the disapproving look on Xichen’s face and quickly added, “Ah, Zewu-jun, Jingyi chose the location due to a bet with Sect Leader Jin over whether wolves were similar enough to dogs to scare Senior Wei. The other junior disciples were told to copy the rules just eight times and to write a letter of appreciation to Senior Wei.”

The incident occurred a week ago but Wei Wuxian was recovering slowly due to his lack of spiritual energy to expedite the healing process, and because an infection had set in that had just barely been kept at bay by Wangji giving Wei Wuxian his own spiritual energy for hours each day. With Wei Ying so severely injured, Wangji was hovering at his bedside. Much of his work as Chief Cultivator was reading and responding to documents, but it was difficult to be both Chief Cultivator and Sect Leader while attending full time to an uncooperative patient. And so, Xichen was forced to come out of seclusion and return as Sect Leader.

When Sizhui and Xichen entered the Jingshi, they found Wei Ying lying miserably in bed. Most of his body was hidden under their blanket, but his forearms were visibly wrapped in thick bandages. Wangji was sitting at his side in bed, back against the headboard, perched carefully beside Wei Ying, careful not to jostle his injuries. A flash of red could be seen under his sleeve when Wangji shifted his arm.

“My perfect night hunting record,” Wei Ying lamented, poking at Wangji’s side. “Lan Zhan~”

“Shhh,” Wangji hummed. He set aside the document he had been reading and looked down at Wei Ying. “Rest.”

Wei Ying opened his mouth to protest but Wangji interrupted him by gently stroking Wei Ying’s face and affectionately patting his cheeks.

“Wei Ying must be more careful,” Wangji said, leaning down to pepper Wei Ying’s forehead with kisses.

“Wangji is correct,” Xichen said.

Wei Wuxian turned his head in surprise, but Wangji simply looked up and nodded his acknowledgement. “Xiongzhang.”

“Xian-gege,” Sizhui rushed to kneel at Wei Wuxian’s bedside, dropping the honorifics in the privacy of the jingshi. “How are you?”

“A-Yuan, what a good child, asking after his seniors. Look Lan Zhan, what a wonderful child you raised!”

“We raised,” Wangji corrected instinctively. Turning to Sizhui, Wangji said, “Wei Ying’s fever broke this morning. Wei Ying will make a full recovery as long as he listens to the doctor and rests.”

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian whined, “I’m hungry.”

“You ate less than an hour ago.” An outsider may have thought Lan Wangji was reasoning with his husband, but Xichen knew Wangji would do whatever Wei Wuxian requested of him, no matter how ridiculous.

“A-Zhan~” Wei Wuxian gingerly reached for Wangji’s hand. When he found it, Wangji clasped their fingers together, stroking his thumb along the back of Wei Wuxian’s hand. For someone as terrified of dogs as Wei Wuxian, he certainly had the Puppy Eyes™ perfected as he looked up at Lan Wangji with pure, unfiltered adoration.

“If Wei Ying wishes,” Wangji said, bringing Wei Wuxian’s hand to his mouth and trailing a line of kisses down his wrist as if they were alone. “I will cook for Wei Ying.” In a fluid moment, Lan Wangji stood from their bed. Bending down, he rearranged their blankets so Wei Wuxian would be warm and comfortable without him and pressed a kiss to Wei Ying’s forehead. “Be good.”

“Hurry back!” Wei Ying waved cutely at Wangji.

“Mn.” Xichen could see Wangji smiling.

Bowing at his brother, Wangji was about to apologize for not immediately addressing Xichen but Xichen waved Wangji off. “Wangji, I believe your husband is waiting,” he said teasingly.

With a nod, Wangji swept out of the jingshi.

“Ah, I will join you,” Sizhui rose to his feet and scurried after Wangji. “May we check on Jingyi on our way to the kitchens as well?”

Left alone with his brother-in-law, Xichen took a seat on the chair Wangji had set by their bed for the doctor.

Taking a cursory glance around the Jingshi to see what changes had been made in the year since he entered seclusion, he found evidence of Wei Wuxian everywhere. While outwardly as immaculate as ever, Xichen could see piles of half finished talismans and books stacked unevenly on Wangji’s work desk. The closet door was opened with the slightest crack, but Xichen could see the dark robes Wei Wuxian preferred neatly lined up beside Wangji’s white Gusu Lan robes. On the bookshelf, Xichen would see where Wei Wuxian had added to Wangji’s collection of books, as well as little trinkets lining the shelves. Mostly, they were little bunnies carved from jade, wood, or bronze. Wangji once considered such items as superfluous, but they made Wei Ying happy and thus became a necessity.

In particular, Xichen found his eyes drawn to the large painting hanging on the wall of the Jingshi directly across the door where everyone would see when they entered. It was a family portrait of Wangji, Wei Wuxian, and Sizhui with their instruments in the back hills surrounded by Wangji’s bunnies. Lil’ Apple was in the background, munching on an apple. Xichen recognized the brushwork to be Wei Wuxian’s, having seen his doodles as a guest disciple many years earlier.

Xichen was also pleased to note that the dark bags that had lined Wei Wuxian’s eyes before the conference had faded even more and that the bundle of herbs he had given to Wangji sat on their bedside table, clearly used. Several other medicinal pouches had joined it; Xichen recognized several mild anesthetics and spirit cleansing herbs.

“Xichen-gege,” Wei Wuxian said. It had been less noticeable when speaking to Wangji, but Wei Wuxian’s words were slightly slurred as though he wasn’t fully coherent. Glancing at all the medicinal pouches by their bed, Xichen guessed Wei Wuxian was still in a fair amount of pain. Though he had never explicitly given Wei Wuxian permission to address him so informally, Xichen found that he liked the familiarity.

“Xichen-gege,” Wei Wuxian repeated, with a hint of urgency.

“Yes, Young Master Wei?”

“Da ge,” Wei Wuxian said, eyes glazed over with happiness, “isn’t Lan Zhan the best? Lan Zhan is so good to me.”

Amused, Xichen decided to play along Wei Wuxian’s antics. Xichen nodded, “Wangji is indeed excellent.”

“Lan Zhan is the best at cooking. A-Zhan is perfect at everything. His arms are so strong and he holds me so well and Da ge, did you know Lan Zhan is ticklish in the crook of his elbow? I found out by accident and I’m the only one who knows so don’t tell anyone!” Wei Wuxian was babbling and Xichen felt his heart warm at how much sheer, unadulterated adoration and love was radiating off of his brother-in-law.

Perhaps this should have been an uncomfortable discussion to partake in, but Xichen found he didn’t mind watching Wei Wuxian profess his love for Wangji. Their feelings were not a secret and Xichen found joy in the knowledge that his judgement of Wei Wuxian as a good friend for Wangji to have was at least correct. Having been witness to their shameless confession to each other in the Guanyin Temple, such innocent declarations of Wei Wuxian’s love simply filled Xichen with warmth.

“Da ge, da ge! Are you listening? Did you know Lan Zhan once gave me chickens he stole? He even vandalised property! What a bad influence Hanguang-jun is! But I still love my A-Zhan because he did it just for me. But only for me! He can’t steal chickens for anyone else!”

Lan Xichen was rather dubious of the assertion that Wangji would ever commit such a petty crime, but he had also long since learned that there was no length Wangji would not go to for Wei Wuxian. “Did you enjoy the chickens?”

Wei Wuxian pouted but his tone remained bright. “I had to put them back but I’m sure Lan Zhan would give me more if I wanted. They could make friends with the bunnies. And Lil’ Apple! Da ge, I liked the chickens so much because Lan Zhan gave them to me. I like anything A-Zhan gives me.”

For a long time, Lan Xichen had been unable to hear, or even think, of the word da ge without hurting as it had become a reminder of how they, how he himself , had failed Nie Mingjue, but Xichen found that he rather enjoyed being called da ge by his brother-in-law. The direct Lan family had never been big, but Wei Wuxian was an excellent addition no matter what their uncle thought.

~~~

Lan Xichen had never liked Jinlin Tai. Under Jin Guangshan, under Jin Guangyao, and even now under Jin Ling, Jinlin Tai had only ever been an ostentatious display of wealth that Lan Xichen had never been comfortable with.

It was Sect Leader Jin’s birthday and his advisors wanted to throw a massive party to celebrate while conspicuously reminding everyone that despite the dishonourable actions of their previous two Sect Leaders, they were still unbelievably wealthy and incredibly powerful.

Having rediscovered his footing as Lan Sect Leader, Xichen found that he had become more aware of those around him. He had never been unobservant, given the reserved nature of his own brother, but Xichen was finding his observational capacity beginning to spill into the territory of being overaware. This awareness largely manifested itself in the less generous observations of pettiness around him. When Gusu Lan had arrived, Xichen noticed how Sect Leader looked at Wangji with absolute terror and immediately continued apologizing profusely to Wangji for his role in the disasterous nighthunt from two months earlier, and to Wei Wuxian for not understanding wolves were dogs but worse. During the banquet, he noticed how Sect Leader Sima made unbecoming advances towards the daughter of Sect Leader Zhao, how Jin Chan and a small group of Jin disciples mockingly laughed at each word said by Jin Ling, how Sect Leader Jiang and Wangji were very obviously avoiding looking at each other, and he couldn’t help the distaste he continued to feel towards Moling Su, a feeling which Wangji felt even more strongly. Xichen also noticed that Moling Su had been excluded from most cross-sect activities and that Lanling Jin had invited them to their leader’s birthday banquet as a reminder of their irrelevance. They could come to a birthday banquet and bear gifts, but they could not participate in any activities of value.

He also noticed how Wei Wuxian’s eyes filled with tears when Sect Leader Jin was introduced with his courtesy name for the first time, and he noticed how Wangji immediately reached over to hold Wei Wuxian’s hand when it happened.

When it had begun raining outside, Xichen noticed how Wei Wuxian melded even closer into Wangji’s side as Wangji gave Wei Wuxian increasingly concerned looks.

He noticed that two hours into the banquet, once the dinner had shifted into a open socialization period, that Wei Wuxian would rub his waist in discomfort. This was the same hip that had been broken a couple months ago during that unfortunate night hunt Wangji was still upset with Jingyi and Jin Ling over. It would be improper for Wangji to blatantly hold his husband’s waist, but Xichen could see how Wangji would discreetly give Wei Wuxian some spiritual energy throughout the night to ease the pain.

While Wangji and Sect Leader Jiang were blatantly avoiding each others’ paths and firmly standing on opposite sides of the room, Lan Xichen noticed that Wei Wuxian had slipped away from the banquet entirely after speaking briefly to Sect Leader Jin.

Wangji approached Xichen shortly after making this observation. “Xiongzhang.” Wangji bowed. Wei Wuxian's red ribbon flickered from under Wangji's long sleeves as he raised his arms.

“Wangji,” Xichen bowed in response, “Where is Xiao Wei?”

“Wei Ying is not feeling well.” Although the response is deadpan and diplomatic, Xichen can see the tension and concern in his brother’s eyes even though it would be a grave insult to Lanling Jin for the Chief Cultivator to leave early.

However, as the Lan Sect Leader who is participating in his first event since recently leaving seclusion... “My apologies to the Chief Cultivator,” Xichen says, bowing again to his brother, “this Sect Leader must also excuse himself.”

Wangji knows exactly what his brother is doing, and Xichen can see some of the tension ease from Wangji’s eyes.

It is raining harder than expected when Xichen steps outside, but the wide eaves of the Jinlin Tai roofs keep him dry.

The Lan entourage has been given adjacent rooms and Xichen finds himself stopping in front of Wangji and Wei Wuxian’s room. The unexpected silence behind the door gives him pause, but Xichen knocks on the door anyway.

The door opens to show a dishevelled Wei Wuxian who has exchanged his formal robes for a simple inner robe that Xichen suspects belongs to Wangji and an outer robe that definitely belongs to Wangji. The clothing hangs loosely off Wei Wuxian's lean frame. Wei Wuxian’s hair is flowing loosely down his back, the elaborate pins and headpieces Wangji has painstakingly combed into his hair earlier now abandoned on the dresser. Wangji’s ribbon is in Wei Wuxian’s hand, his fingers stroking the impeccable cloud embroidery.

“Wangji was worried about you,” Xichen says, stepping into the room.

Wei Wuxian steps back to sit at the low tea table, vaguely gesturing for Xichen to join him. “Did Lan Zhan send you?”

“You could say that,” Xichen says, kneeling as Wei Wuxian pours them tea. He notices how Wei Wuxian’s legs are not crossed properly as they had been during the banquet. One leg is sticking out to the side, slightly bent at the knee.

“Of course,” Wei Wuxian gives a self-deprecating smile as he passes Xichen his tea. “You can tell Lan Zhan I’m fine.”

The tea is still hot, but Xichen takes a sip anyway. “I am also concerned for my brother-in-law.”

Wei Wuxian doesn’t look surprised, but Xichen notices how Wei Wuxian looks down at his own cup.

When Wei Wuxian says nothing, Xichen continues, “Is your injury still bothering you?”

Xichen can see Wei Wuxian about to spew empty reassurances and stops him before he can begin. “I am not as astute as Wangji,” Xichen says, setting down his cup, “nor am I as well-read in your body language as Wangji, but it is clear to me that you have been in discomfort all evening.”

“Ah,” Wei Wuxian’s hands clench at his borrowed robes, pulling the fabric tighter around himself in a poor mimicry of Lan Zhan’s arms around him. “It is…” Wei Wuxian pauses for a moment to think, perhaps to contemplate how candid he should be. “I am still sore. My leg doesn’t appreciate being folded for long periods of time. Dogs bite harder than you think, you know.”

“And your hip?” Xichen inquires gently, knowing that for all Wei Wuxian likes to complain about petty annoyances and minor inconveniences, Wei Wuxian’s internal conflicts are as closed off as Wangji’s are, if not more.

Wei Wuxian shrugs almost casually, although Xichen can see Wei Wuxian shifting his weight. Smiling vacuously, Wei Wuxian says, “I thought the doctor was exaggerating when she said it takes upwards of six months for non-cultivators to recover from broken bones. It’s been over two months but it still hurts to stand or sit for too long.”

“You are recovering well, regardless.”

“It is strange to be reminded of your own mortality,” Wei Wuxian says mirthlessly. “Isn’t it funny? I literally died and came back to life and almost had my soul destroyed but it’s a stupid tree that actually shoves vulnerability at my face. That, and Jingyi making stupid bets with Jin Ling.”

Though the words are almost bitter, Xichen can hear the underlying affection Wei Wuxian has for his wayward juniors.

“Jingyi is very sorry,” Xichen says diplomatically, humour dancing across his features. He notices how Wei Wuxian’s cup is empty and reaches for the teapot to refill both their cups.

Nodding his thanks, Wei Wuxian pours the tea down his throat. “I should be too young for this, all these pains and aches. My heart can’t take all this stress. Lan Zhan is the worst, saying the most embarrassing things! And all so genuine! I need warnings before Lan Zhan speaks because my heart really can’t take it! Honestly, that Jin Ling must be sneaking off with Lan Zhan behind my back. Where else could be have learned to pull off that trick with his courtesy name?”

Wei Wuxian complaining about Lan Zhan’s declarations of love are a staple in every conversation and never fails to entertain Xichen. Wangji is exceedingly over the top in his expressions of love, but so is Wei Wuxian and it fills Xichen with warmth when he sees how happy his brother is. But, Xichen also hears how Wei Wuxian stumbles over courtesy name . He sips at his tea again, waiting for Wei Wuxian to continue.

And he does, after finishing off his tea. While Xichen refills Wei Wuxian’s cup, Wei Wuxian speaks.

“You know, Xichen-gege, I was the one who gave Jin Rulan his name.”

Surprise flickers across Xichen’s face; his eyes widen but he says nothing because Wei Wuxian has more to say.

“Jiang Cheng made fun of me for choosing Rulan. Because lan . I wasn’t really thinking about it at the time. There wasn’t much I could think about with what little of me was left from the resentful energy, but lan just sounded pretty and I guess I loved Lan Zhan before I ever understood what that kind of love was. Jin Ling hated it though, and who can blame him? He says it’s too feminine but we all know it’s because I chose it.” Wei Wuxian isn’t crying, but his eyes are watery in the candlelight.

Xichen hates it.

A sad Wei Ying makes a sad Wangji but in his heart, Xichen knows that Wei Wuxian is not someone who is meant to be sad.

“Regardless, it seems that Sect Leader Jin has accepted you as his uncle.”

Wei Wuxian turns those watery eyes toward Xichen and Xichen’s heart clenches. “That doesn’t make me not responsible for shijie’s death. Or Jin Zixuan.”

Xichen isn’t quite sure what to say, and he sips his tea so he can think about what he can say when a flash of lightning streaks the room with light. The subsequent clap of thunder causes Wei Wuxian to flinch. Not by much -- the cup into his hands does not spill over his fingers -- but it is disturbingly clear exactly what Wei Wuxian thinks of the weather.

“Wei Wuxian?” Xichen reaches out when Wei Wuxian says nothing.

“Ah, sorry, sorry,” Wei Wuxian rushes to apologize, plastering an empty smile on his face. “I just don’t like storms very much.”

“Childhood fear?” Xichen asks. Friendly as he is with his brother-in-law, there are times when Xichen is strikingly aware of how little of Wei Wuxian’s life he actually knows. He does not understand why Wei Wuxian fears dogs, or why Wangji has strictly designated one field for kite flying where Wei Wuxian will never see the juniors and youngest disciples play.

Shaking his head, Wei Wuxian sets his tea cup back down. His expression is carefully blank, but Xichen can see the slight tremble of his fingers. “Not exactly.”

When Wei Wuxian drifts off, Xichen tries to pull him back into the present. “Wei Ying?”

Wei Wuxian’s eyes flicker up in surprise; Xichen has never used his given name before even though they are family now. “Ah, sorry. A lot of my worst memories happened in a storm. And it’s so cold and wet!”

The last part is so blatantly tacked on in an attempt to minimize how much of himself Wei Wuxian is offering but Xichen suddenly realizes how Wangji meticulously schedules nighthunts that Wei Wuxian supervises on days that will not rain, how Wangji played melancholy music during rainy days during Xichen’s seclusion, and how Wei Wuxian is the most tired after a rainy night.

“It is okay to dislike the rain,” Xichen says, after a long silence. Wei Wuxian has lost his empty smile and his eyes are still watery as he wraps Wangji’s robes even tighter around himself. “I find it difficult to be in the Cold Springs Cave, in spite of the sacredness of Lan Yi’s cave. We cannot control the associations we create between our feelings and our circumstances and should not blame ourselves for such perceived weaknesses. The blame is not ours to bear.”

Their tea is now lukewarm, but Xichen refills his cup anyway. Wei Ying’s cup is still full, though the tea is now cold. Sipping at his tea, Xichen sees how the tension lessens ever so slightly from Wei Ying’s shoulders and his grasp on Wangji’s robe is no longer at risk of ripping the fine fabric. Wangji’s ribbon is still draped over Wei Ying’s hand and Wei Ying is running his fingers over the detailed needlework for comfort, to ground himself.

Wei Wuxian sits in quiet contemplation as Lan Xichen adds, “Rulan is an excellent name. I believe Sect Leader Jin has grown into it quite well.”

With a watery smile, Wei Wuxian looks back up at Xichen. “Thank you, da ge,” Wei Ying pauses momentarily before adding, “and I’m sorry.”

Xichen smiles gently. “We are family, Xiao Wei. Gusu Lan takes care of our own, even from ourselves and our own melancholies. There is nothing to be sorry for.”

~~~

The first problem was that Lan Zhan was gone for the week on a diplomatic trip to Yunmeng Jiang. The second problem was that Lan Zhan had taken Sizhui and Jingyi with him.

The third problem, and most pressing, was that Lan Zhan had left Wei Ying behind in Cloud Recesses. Alone. With neither husband nor son. Not even Wen Ning was nearby, having gone off night hunting with a band of open-minded rogue cultivators he had met in Caiyi Town.

It wasn’t that Wei Ying was bitter at having been left behind, exactly. He wasn’t not bitter, but it wasn’t as if he had been drinking vinegar.

“Can you believe it!” Wei Wuxian wasn’t yelling, really. His voice was a few decibel levels above what was normal for him, but it was Cloud Recesses, most of the junior disciples were in class while the senior disciples were meditating, and Wei Wuxian might as well have been screaming bloody murder at the top of his lungs at midnight with the looks he was receiving from the Lan Elders he passed. “Lan Er Gege abandoned me here! My husband gets to go off gallivanting around Lotus Pier with our son while I have been forsaken!”

Wei Wuxian carried several haphazardly balanced bundles of vegetables and apples as he made way to the back mountain. As usual, Wangji’s ribbon was tied securely in Wei Wuxian’s hair. The silky tails of the ribbon fluttered behind Wei Wuxian, carried by the breeze.

Xichen stayed several paces behind Wei Wuxian, carrying his own treats for the rabbits in baskets and smiling neutrally at the passing Elders to placate them.

“Lan Zhan and A-Yuan can’t even enjoy the food! They’ll walk past all the vendors, all the wonderful scents and spices and not realize what they’re missing!”

Silently, Xichen noted that Wangji’s spice tolerance had increased rather significantly after nearly two years of marriage to Wei Wuxian.

“Lan Zhan can’t even stand Jiang Cheng! I had to stop Lan Zhan from pulling Bichen on Jiang Cheng at the last Cultivation Conference! Me! The Yiling Patriarch! I had to be the voice of reason!” Wei Ying raged as he aggressively stomped towards Wangji’s rabbit enclosure.

One head of cabbage tumbled out of Wei Wuxian’s arms. Wei Wuxian didn’t notice and simply continued his rampage into the rabbits. Without a break in his step, Xichen gracefully scooped the wayward vegetable from the ground and followed his brother-in-law into the rabbits.

Carefully, he placed the basket on the ground and checked to see if there was any risk of squishing a rabbit before sitting himself down in the grass. Wei Ying had done nothing of the sort, having simply dove directly onto the ground. Any unsuspecting rabbits would know to race out of the way in time. Chaotic as he was, the rabbits had long since become accustomed to Wei Wuxian’s brand of chaos.

And they knew he came with treats.

With rabbits perched on his torso and nibbling at the bok choy they had brought, Wei Ying turned to Xichen with a thoughtful look.

“Da ge,” Wei Ying said, eyes downcast and morose even as he lay on his back, “what do you think would have happened to your relationship with Lan Zhan if he had stayed with me in the Burial Mounds?”

Startled, Xichen looked at Wei Ying. “Why do you ask?”

As Xichen watched, Wei Ying didn’t say anything at first. He fed the rabbits on his chest two more leaves of bok choy before turning back to Xichen.

“Its just,” Wei Ying drifted off, head shifting so he was looking directly up at the clear blue sky. Only a few wispy clouds streaked thin lines across the skies, “I was just curious.”

“It is unlike Xiao Wei to think about that period,” Xichen hummed, thinking about what if Wangji had truly abandoned Gusu Lan back then. What would he have done then? What could he have done?

Wei Wuxian stretched an arm out, enticing a smaller bunny to snuggle against his side. “Lan Zhan doesn’t like it when I think too hard about the past,” he says ruefully, treating the new bunny to an apple slice. “It makes me sad. But it’s hard not to think about the past when Lan Zhan is with Jiang Cheng.”

Even as he continued to ponder the thought of Wangji in the Burial Mounds, Xichen suddenly understood what Wei Wuxian was really thinking about. “You miss him.”

“Of course I miss him! I miss my husband when he leaves the room. I miss him when he stands too far away from me in a big room. I miss him when he is already at the top of a flight of stairs and I’m still down at the bottom.”

“Xiao Wei,” Xichen looked at Wei Wuxian, unimpressed, knowing that Wei Wuxian was intentionally trying to delay the real conversation he wanted to have.

Sighing, Wei Wuxian talked about what he really wanted to say. “Jiang Cheng was my brother in every way that mattered.”

Wei Ying paused for a long time, content to feed the bunnies as they surrounded him. There was a little white one with black spots nuzzling Wei Ying’s neck that had just been born the past spring. It was the only one who wasn’t purely white and it was Wei Ying’s favourite.

Xichen said nothing, content to feed the rabbits that had surrounded him as he waited for Wei Ying to collect his thoughts.

“After the Guanyin Temple, I spoke to Jiang Cheng. We didn’t plan it, but we ran into each other in the Unclean Realm. Neither of us had told Nie Huaisang we were going to visit but I think Nie-xiong still planned it,” Wei Ying huffs out a dry laugh. Nie Huaisang was now the black sheep to be wary of in the cultivation world, and wasn’t that just ridiculous?

(Deep down, Wei Wuxian knew Nie Huaisang had always been smarter than he let on. Not book smart -- never book smart -- but the artist in Nie Huaisang saw more with a single glance than Wei Wuxian could ever see in any amount of time.)

“He yelled at me and threatened to break my legs. We cried and apologized to each other. I went back to Lotus Pier with him because he threatened to break my legs if I didn’t. But I wanted to see what it was like when people weren’t trying to kill me. But it was all wrong, you know? Uncle Jiang and Madam Yu weren’t there, Shijie wasn’t there, and no one I grew up with was there. I realized that Jiang Cheng is the only person left in the world who knows who I was as a child and I don’t know what to do with that.

“Da ge, you tell me stories about Lan Zhan all the time. And I love them! And it makes Lan Zhan happy even when we laugh at him because it means we’re getting along. But Jiang Cheng and Lan Zhan hate each other. I didn’t think Lan Zhan could hate anyone as much as he hated me but then I saw him look at Jiang Cheng.”

“Wangji never hated you,” Xichen jumped in instinctively. He hadn’t intended to interrupt Wei Ying, and he knew Wei Ying now understood the entirety of Wangji’s feelings for him, but it would never not be strange hearing about the possibility of a Wangji who didn’t love Wei Ying with his entire being.

Wei Ying smiled, thinking about his husband. “He didn’t. Lan Zhan really is the best. I couldn’t stand being in Lotus Pier because it wasn’t right. It isn’t home anymore and the entire time I just wanted Lan Zhan with me so I could show him everything I saw.

“I talked to Jiang Cheng before I left. Really talked. I didn’t tell him how hard it was to enjoy being in Lotus Pier without Shijie and everyone I knew, but I think he knew. He said that I had always chosen Lan Zhan over him and that he should have expected this to be no different. It’s true, isn’t it? I have always chosen Lan Zhan, except when I took the Wens to the Burial Mounds.”

When nearly a minute passed and Wei Weuxian didn’t add anything more, Xichen spoke. “In the Nightless City,” he said, startling Wei Ying with his abrupt change of topic, “I saw you fight Wangji. I saw Wangji fight with you when you came down from the rooftops. I watched Wangji cut down anyone who could have harmed you and I kept our disciples away.”

Gently brushing the bunnies on his chest back onto the ground, Wei Ying slowly sat back up. His earlier hip injury had long since healed, but Xichen still found himself looking for signs of discomfort as Wei Ying moved. Why? Wei Ying wanted to ask but he couldn’t find the words to do it.

Seeing the question, the confusion, written across Wei Ying’s face, Xichen continued while stroking the soft ears of the rabbit in his lap. “You know that our family is passionate and fiercely devoted to those we love. Wangji is no different. He may be the fiercest of us all,” Xichen smiled wryly. “If I had allowed Wangji to cross swords with one of our own, I would have forced him to choose between two factions of his heart. That is not a fair decision to thrust upon someone. I was scared. I think I knew, even then, perhaps especially then, that Wangji would have chosen you over me. For a long time, until recently, I did not wish to think too deeply about what Wangji would have chosen. He has always chosen you, and I was not ready to face the reality that he would choose you over Gusu. I believe, if I had forced the choice upon him, I would have lost him forever.”

Picking up the little spotted bunny, Wei Ying cradled her gently in his arms. He fed her an apple slice as he looked at Xichen. “Me? Would he have? The rules were -- are -- so important to Lan Zhan…” Wei Ying trailed off.

“Not so.” Lan Xichen said with absolute certainty. “Wangji entered the forbidden section of our library without permission to research ways to counter the effect of demonic cultivation. He was punished when he returned from visiting you at the Burial Mounds.”

Wei Ying was shocked. “He did that? For me?”

Xichen nodded. “When he was whipped for supporting you, he asked Uncle ‘who is right? Who is wrong? What is black? What is white?’ ”

A strangled noise came from Wei Ying. He was now clutching the spotted rabbit with both hands as if the rabbit was all that was keeping him grounded. “He....Lan Zhan said that?” When Xichen nodded, Wei Ying continued, in awe, “I...there is a lot I don’t remember from my first life. But those words, those are the words I said to Lan Zhan when he came to stop me. When I escaped with the Wens. Lan Zhan...he really said that?”

“Uncle was furious,” Xichen said with a small smile, borrowing one of Wei Wuxian’s techniques to lighten their conversation. The rabbit in his lap had grown restless and shaken off Xichen’s hand. Unbothered, Xichen watched as the rabbit hopped out of his lap back into the field.

Turning back to Wei Ying, whose little spotted bunny was licking at his chin, Xichen said, “I do not know the entirety of what has transpired between you and Sect Leader Jiang. I do not doubt that you loved each other greatly and continue to care for the other, just as I do Wangji, but you were pushed to make a decision prematurely and Jiang Wanyin was unprepared for the consequences of that decision. Unlike Wangji and I and Gusu Lan, Yunmeng Jiang was never granted the luxury of time.”

“Lan Zhan still blames Jiang Cheng,” Wei Ying says quietly. The rabbit in his arms has grown restless and is now perched on his shoulder, nibbling at his hair.

Brushing invisible dust from his outer robe, Xichen spoke. “I saw you fall. I heard Wangji scream and watched as he leapt after you. I watched you slip from his grasp and heard Wangji cry out afterwards. We have had eighteen years to come to terms with our role in the events, years that you have not had, but it is still difficult for Wangji to see Jiang Wanyin as anything other than the one who turned his back on his brother.”

“It was my choice to fall,” Wei Ying’s throat is choked with tears that have yet to fall, his voice just barely above a whisper.

“But Jiang Wanyin made choices that deepened the chasm between you.” Xichen held up a hand when Wei Ying opened his mouth to disagree. “Choices were made on both ends, but Jiang Wanyin made his decisions out of the unpreparedness of seeing you choose Wangji. It seems inevitable now to think that you ever had a choice that wasn’t Wangji, but it was not so clear back then. Just as I had not been ready to lose Wangji, Jiang Wanyin had not been ready to lose you. Until Jiang Wanyin is able to accept that you and Wangji were always destined to choose the other, it will be difficult for either of them to view the other with anything but resentment. I am only thankful that I was never in a position to force Wangji to choose between us, and that I was given enough time to repair my relationship with Wangji and to make my peace with our fate.”

Smiling a watery smile, Wei Ying sets the restless little spotted rabbit down on his lap where she nibbles at the remnants of a bok choy stem.

“Do you regret your choices?” Xichen’s voice was strained. He didn’t want to ask this and was fearful of the answer, even though he knew there was nothing to fear and he already knew what Wei Ying would say.

As the tears finally overflow from his eyes, Wei Ying looks at Xichen and says with absolute certainty, “how can I, when my choices have led me to Lan Zhan?”

Feeding the last of their prepared snacks to the spotted rabbit, Wei Ying wipes his tears with his sleeve before turning to Xichen.

“Everyday I think my heart is going to burst with how much I love Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian says softly, cheeks aflame. His eyes are downcast and darting, usually modest for someone who regularly shows off the love bites Wangji leaves on him.

Xichen beams, happy for the happiness his brother and Wei Wuxian have finally found after so much suffering. “Then cherish that love because it will always be enough.”

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plumwinkle · 5 years ago

Text

Fanfiction Masterlist

This is where I will be posting links to all my fanfics that are here on AO3 and FF.net. Some are still a work in progress as you can see. Also, there will be both multi-chaptered and drabble/one-shots here. :)

[The Untamed • Mo Dao Zu Shi]

Title: Second Chances in Yunmeng | Rating: NC-17

Summary: There are people that say the courage to be kind and see the world in all its light was the noblest thing about Zewu-Jun. That even in the darkest times he was able to find his light, coming from his seclusion and rejoining the world. A completely unselfish act they said, to be expected of the Lan leader they cheered.

Jiang Cheng knew, however, that even the early morning sun could burn you... if you played its light a little too long.

Read on AO3

Status: Complete

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Title: What Happens in Laning | Rating: NC-17

Summary: Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji, Jiang Cheng and ZeWu-Jun are all traveling together to Lanling for Jin Ling's induction as sect leader when the truly unexpected happens, Wei Ying walks in on Lan Zhan with another man... his own brother. Is everything as it seems?

Wei Wuxian x Lan Wangji - Wangxian

Jiang Cheng x Lan Xichen - Xicheng

Warnings: A smutty Lan Wangji x Jiang Cheng moment for reasons and my own amusement that can be considered non-con on both their parts. Don't worry, this is NOT that fanfic, Wangxian still stands strong. Pairings above still stand and this is a RomCom because I don't know how to write proper angst. ;)

Read on AO3: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 09 | 10

Status: Work in Progress

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Title: The Golden Shackle | Rating: NC-17

Summary: Everybody hates someone.

Maybe it's the way he goes to bed every night at nine o'clock. Maybe it's the three thousand rules he recites night and day. Maybe it's the way he moves with the grace of a predator, silent and with purpose.

Maybe it's because all I felt was his scorn when I caused the tiniest of accidents, the smallest of mistakes. When I accidentally core-bound myself to the Light-Bearing Lord, Lan Wangji, as soon as our minds touched, I knew that the someone he hates... is me.

But you know what else? Everybody loves someone. Just you wait, Lan Wangji of Gusu, just you wait.

Read on AO3: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 09 | 10

Status: Work in Progress

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[Harry Potter]

Title: A Veela for Valentine's Day | Rating: NC-17

Summary: Draco and his inner Veela are in love with Harry and have been for years. There is just one problem... Harry isn't interested in men. But what happens when Harry suddenly turns up with a new male lover? The Veela will do whatever it takes to separate the two, morals be damned. Draco Malfoy is going back to his roots, back to Slytherin, and sabotage is his weapon of choice. Written for 2012 Do Me Veela Fest on LJ.

Read on FF.net | Read on AO3

Status: Complete

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Title: Born for You | Rating: NC-17

Summary: Magic ruled Harry’s life and even his death. He’d be damned if it ruled who he chose to love. Unfortunately, for Harry, magic has a way of getting what it wants, and what it wants is the newly awakened Veela, Draco Malfoy. He was able to run from him seven years ago but fate has intervened once more and Harry doesn't know if he can resist... or if he even wants to.

Read on FF.net: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 09 | 10

Read on AO3: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 09 | 10

Status: Work in Progress

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[Lord of the Rings • Tolkienverse]

Title: What Happens in Gondolin | Rating: NC-17

Summary: Erestor believes what happens in Gondolin, should stay in Gondolin. Glorfindel, however, believes differently. When he's given a second chance to woo his fair counselor, he doesn't waste anymore time.

Read on AO3

Status: Complete

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[Naruto]

Title: Black and White Eyes | Rating: NC-17

Summary: Uchiha Sasuke is bound to rise up in rebellion & Orochimaru knows his days are few. Hyuuga Hinata is his salvation and when he has her kidnapped & brought to Sound in the hopes of pinning down his restless apprentice, he wonders if Sasuke will fall prey to his plan or if he made a grievous error in judgment. Presenting the Hyuuga to Sasuke may be the worst decision he's made yet.

This a SasuHina fic and will deviate pretty hard from cannon.

Read on FF.Net: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15

Read on AO3: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15

Status: Work In Progress

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Post Updated 2/6/20

20 notes · View notes

krowjet · 2 years ago

Note

I feel like I should explain what Sexy Times with Wangxian (or STWW for simplicity) is before I get I confuse you more.

Basic summary is it was a typical oneshot collection type fanfic for the fandom The Untamed over on AO3, one of the biggest fanfic sites on the internet due to its easy access, extensive library, and incredibly detailed search algorithm that allowed you to narrow down your fic options from several millions in some fandoms to a few hundred so you didn’t have to sift through a mountain of fanfics you had no interest in.

Part of how it did this was with the ‘tagging’ system, and the ‘completed/in progress’ system. This is particularly important to keep in mind because STWW did quite a few things that messed with this site’s algorithm. It would regularly update, so it would often be at the top of AO3’s ‘Recently Updated’ list, so people looking for newer content got stuck seeing it a lot, but it was also tagged as a ‘Finished’ work so for people who didn’t want to wait for updates, also got stuck with it popping up regularly in their searches as well.

Another thing it did was it tagged anything and everything- it had helpful tags like the main pair involved (Wangxian being the couple’s ship name), but it also included useless tags like ‘washing machine’ and it would add to the list regularly with its updates, flooding the system even more. It got to a point where it had hundreds of tags and people were complaining that it was lagging their devices, crashing them, they had to scroll through the wall of tags that would grow, and again with it being updated regularly and marked as finished, everyone was seeing it constantly as the top result.

People reported it multiple times to the point the site would not let you report it again, and AO3 and the author said it wasn’t violating the site’s guidelines because the tags weren’t against the rules. People started making copycat fics, others made fics with instructions on how to avoid STWW, and their were others making fun of it- one of it was a singular oneshot with the couple just running out of toilet paper to make fun of it for its stream of steamy scenes.

Eventually the site had to suspend the author’s ability to update for about a month, and this is where it gets worse. This is where more drama comes in and the author starts insulting people in the comments, and dragging in other fandoms out of anger at the reporting and for being suspended on top of all the drama surrounding the fic.

They dragged in about 70 other fandoms, and had about 4,000 tags and over a million words by this point and it was actually badly hurting the site’s reputation and ability to actually function. They ended up removing the fic from the site, and placed a limit on how many tags a person could put on a single fic at 75 in order to prevent the site from breaking like STWW and it’s copycats had caused. It’s bad enough that there are articles online about it and video essays talking about the damage it did.

This video is a pretty decent one to explain what the heck this monster of a fic was because I definitely am leaving stuff out- unfortunately I don’t really use AO3 much and tend to stick to a different one, so I usually hear from stuff like this and news articles on what kind of craziness the other sites get up to (and this is why).

youtube

Basically, a steamy oneshot collection lead the most popular fanfic site to make a limit to the amount of tags used on a fic in order to prevent the very site from breaking apart.

Albedo if I'm going to be honest I'm starting to be concerned with what you're reblogging..

Would you care to elaborate?

~Albedo

#Youtube

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rosethornewrites · 3 years ago

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Wednesday’s T and G reading

I’ve reached page 1 of my to-read list on AO3. Once I’m done with this page, I’ll be going back to page 58 to repeat the backward-reading process, this time with all fics under 5k words. So future lists may be smaller.

Finished:

Tumblr:

LQR redemption for the creepy!JFM prompt, by @angstymdzsthoughts

Teen:

bunnies, by wearing_tearing

“Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, the papers will still be here in a few hours,” Wei Ying says and brushes a soft kiss to the hinge of Lan Wangji’s jaw. “Come spend time with your husband, Lan Er-gege. I miss you.”

Lan Wangji rarely finds within himself the strength to deny Wei Ying.

recovery, by wearing_tearing (third in a series)

The brand on Lan Wangji’s chest does not hurt anymore.

wherever the chaos is, by wearing_tearing (fourth in a series)

“But, Teacher Wei—”

“I believe in you! If you really need my help, I’ll come down from the tree, I promise.”

Lan Wangji does not regret his decision to let Wei Ying teach classes in the Cloud Recesses.

emperor’s smile, by wearing_tearing (fifth in a series)

“What are the conditions?” he asks, going back to the point. If he does not know the conditions, he will miss Wei Ying’s kisses.

That’s unacceptable.

Lan Wangji knows he does not have to, but he does not stop himself from grabbing a cup, filling it to the brim with Emperor’s Smile, and gulping it all down.

My Brother's Keeper - Vinegar, by ArchiveWriter (second in a series)

Jiang Cheng is angry and not quite sure what to do with it, so he as usual directs it at Wei Ying (for being stupid and crazy) and Lan Wangji (for being a stuck-up arrogant self-important snooty... well, the list is long, but mainly for being possessive of Wei Ying. Watching them from afar allows for silent fuming. Not to be taken too seriously - some Jiang Cheng soul-searching bound to result in self-conflict. Image a fly in a glass with no lid and still banging against all the glass walls... This is set post-canon, post 'Love Song', pre 'My Brother's Keeper - Most Treasured' and elaborates on what went on in Jiang Cheng's head when watching WWX and LWJ in the markets with them being oblivious. I had fun cramming as many adjectives as I could think of into this, so it's probably 'purple prose' :-) This might be a bit more light-hearted but I still can't see WWX and Jiang Cheng reconcile.

Though the Good and the Bad, by TheKrystalSakura

Wei Wuxian can’t sleep because intrusive thoughts keep plaguing his mind after all these years. Lan Wangji is there to listen to everything his husband has kept bottled up.

Right of First Approval, by AerinD

You know how "based on a true story"...isn't really? Five hundred years later, Jiang Cheng hates that phrase.

under the starlit sky, by b_ofdale

There have always been people who wanted to hurt him, learn from him, steal from him. . . but Lan Wangji?

Lan Wangji has only ever wanted to love him.

Practical Lessons in the Backhills, by Eliza (third in a series)

The Jiang motto is “Attempt the Impossible” but Wei Wuxian’s personal one is closer to “You don’t know until you try.”

Love Me Over Sunrise Tea, by Eliza (fourth in a series)

On the days they aren't on morning watch, Sizhui makes tea. Jingyi doesn't really like tea.

But for the World to See, by Eliza (fifth in a series)

Lan Wangji can't keep his hands off of Wei Ying.

Every Good Boy’s Dream, by Eliza (sixth in a series)

Temptation has never been a problem for Lan Xichen; he’s been giving in to it for years.

We Blossom in the Water, by Eliza (seventh in a series)

Jiang Yanli basks in the Yunmeng sun, her husband’s love, and a moment of freedom.

A Good Idea at the Time, by Eliza (eighth in a series)

Not every bad decision can be blamed on blood loss, but that doesn’t stop Wei Wuxian from trying.

Grief and Blame, Interwoven, by donutsweeper

Wangji's punishment was supposed to be severe, not fatal.

But since it was, Xichen needed to find a way to change that.

things that go honk in the night, by worldoshaking

Jin Ling and Lan Jingyi investigate a fearsome beast that has been terrorising the villages nearby. No one is quite sure what it looks like, but people live in fear of the sound of its honk and the patter of its webbed feet.

greens, by silverclaw

Wei Ying’s plants have been flourishing ever since Lan Zhan moved into the apartment next door. This causes more misunderstandings than one might expect.

The one I like…is you., by Liebing

The one I like has long dark hair, and a perfect smile, he is truly the handsomest Lan!” Wei Ying announced with his usual levels of endless enthusiasm.

Lan Zhan's shoulders dropped. That description had to be his brother. So Wei Ying liked his brother. He tried to ignore the heavy disappointed feeling as it washed over him. As much as he tried to ignore Wei Ying, he had to admit that the boy was irreversibly etched into his heart but it seemed the feeling wasn’t mutual.

someone i could save, by yuer (vintageblueskies)

Lan Wangji has nightmares of Wei Wuxian falling. It gets worse before it gets better.

Encounter - The Broad River, by ArchiveWriter (second in a series)

A meandering study of Lan Zhan's and Wen Yuan’s bond as Elder / Younger Brother during the years of LWJ’s grieving for WWX.

General:

family, by wearing_tearing (sixth in a series)

The warm bubble of happiness inside of Lan Wangji’s chest expands. The people he loves most in the world—his family—are here, around him, and even the day’s exhaustion could not dampen the joy he feels.

After an exhausting day, Lan Wangji has dinner with his family.

A Letter, Addressed to Sect Leader Jiang of Lotus Pier, by darth_meg

Jiang Cheng,

Please don't throw this away when you see who it’s from. There are many things I want to say, but I know I talk too much, so I think it’s best to write as few words as I can. I’ve rewritten this letter many times, crossing out what isn’t completely necessary. I hope you believe me.

Or, Wei Wuxian writes one letter to his brother.

Remedy, by abbymyg

Lan Wangji has been vomiting and with a fever all night, and Wei Wuxian hadn't slept at all.

Lan Qiren calls the doctor to treat his nephew and enters the Jingshi for the first time in years.

Where you ought to be, by Lucky_Moonly (second in a series)

Lans were Ravenclaws.

Which was why Lan Wangji wasn’t as stressed as the other first years as he awaited his sorting in one corner of the Great Hall.

Talk to Me, by MillenarianHappinessTheorem

Lan Huan hasn't spoken to his brother in three weeks. Maybe Jiang Cheng can give him some much-needed relationship advice.

dog days, by silversshadow (second in a series)

Yu ZiYuan will not allow weakness to hold back the Yunmeng Jiang sect.

Jiang Chengs dogs do not leave the Lotus Pier.

i need someone, by aurora_chiroptera

Jiang Cheng is worried about his brother. He thinks if Wei Wuxian marries someone respected from another sect, that he will be safer.

Wei Wuxian is not so sure.

From the prompt: “No one’s going to hurt you.”

Music Jams..., by Ladycroft4evr (third in a series)

It's a musical day at Cloud Recesses... we open with a WangXian music jam, followed by some family bonding over music for Wei WuXian and Sizhui... let's join Lan WangJi and enjoy a leisurely evening with their little family ❤

blinding, by acoostic

Lan Wangji grew up around snow. His hometown of Gusu was up north in the mountains.

The same can not be said of Wei Wuxian, who grew up in Lotus Pier, where the lakes and rivers kept the climate humid and relatively warm year round.

And you'll still be by my side, by hamlets_ghost (fourth in a series)

Nie Mingjue meets the young Lan Clan heir.

He also gets stuck in a tree.

Where His Heart Resides, by Preludian_Staves

He realizes belatedly two months after his marriage that his heart has finally found itself a new home.

Unfinished:

Rated T:

Another Letter, Addressed to Sect Leader Jiang of Lotus Pier, by darth_meg (second in a series)

Sect Leader Jiang,

I write to inform you of my intention to take Wei Ying as my husband and cultivation partner.

Or, Lan Wangji invites Jiang Cheng to discuss something.

The Red Ribbon, by NoMore_17

What if Mo XuanYu sacrifices his soul out of love instead of revenge?

#the untamed #untamed fanfiction #chen qing ling #mo dao zu shi #mdzs #cql

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theres-a-goldensky · 5 years ago

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16 + 2 Reddie Fic Recs pt. 2

I’m back and still on my Bill Hader bullshit, so here’s another round of Reddie fic recs, because I can’t stop reading and sometimes sifting through the insane amounts of fic is a nightmare. So if you feel my pain and need some (at least in my opinion) fun stories, then come along with me on a magical journey filled with men crying during sex, hypochondria, and your mom jokes.

As ever, feel free to reblog and check out my other rec lists for the following fandoms:

IT chapter 2 list part one - Reddie

Good Omens fic

The Untamed list one and two - various pairings, mostly Wangxian

Various BL Series fic (fandoms: Love By Chance, TharnType, 2Moons series, My Engineer, Until We Meet Again, 2gether, History3: Trapped)

Or just head over to my bookmarks on AO3.

All my recs are completed, almost all of them are post-It chapter 2. * - denotes a favorite

1. I killed a clown. AMA! by liesmyth - ~10,000 words, teen - The history of Eddie and Myra’s marriage shown through their posts on reddit. The voices here are great, and it really feels like reading the reddit forums, down to the people sleuthing through their past posts and comments to try and figure out if what they’re saying is real or an elaborate troll.

r/relationships

Posted by u/martymcfly6xo 7 months ago

My (39F) husband (39M) likes horrible stand-up comedy. How can I stop him from bringing this up in front of our mutual friends?

For the last year or so my husband has been watching a lot of stand-up comedy on youtube. I want him to have something relaxing to do (he works a lot and gets really invested in his ‘hands-on’ hobbies in a way I’m not sure is good for him) but I was very puzzled by this discovery as he likes very crass acts and that is certainly not the kind of humor hubby usually enjoys...

2. all of the kids back home believing much more than you do by eatcheeseliveforever - ~11,000 words, explicit - This is a fix-it fic, which is becoming more and more rare in this fandom as we collectively started deciding that Eddie Kaspbrak doesn’t need to be brought back to live, because he never died in the first place, dammit. It has some great pining by Richie. You can really feel his grief and desperation as he searches for a way to get Eddie back. The other Losers are great in this too, especially Mike with his whales.

"A boat, actually," murmured Mike. "I'm on a whale-watching cruise."

Richie mouthed the words "whale watching cruise" to himself. Empirically he knew such things existed, that they happened not far away from the coast where he lived, but it felt like several fucking galaxies away from where he was, surrounded by the ghosts of takeouts and blackouts past and the actual ghost-ghosts, who he couldn't step in or stub his toe on at three in the morning, but hurt so much worse.

"He said you've been googling resurrection rituals."

Richie scrounged through his pile of empties, hoping one wasn't. "Bill talks too much."

"Richie." A sigh, or a wave, or a really quiet whale. "You're not going to find a resurrection ritual on Google."

"I've found hundreds," said Richie. "Funny thing, though, they all seem to call for orgies. Or virgin sacrifices. Or sacrificing someone's virginity in an orgy. I'm hoping Ben will volunteer as tribute."

3. * - you’ve got the answers to my confessions by QueerOnTilMorning - ~17,000 words, explicit - This is the good stuff right here. Richie accidentally sexts Eddie and Eddie is IN. TO. IT. This fic starts with excellent phone sex, there’s misunderstandings and confessions in the middle, and then it ends with super hot sex. There’s a brief part with karaoke that was a bit of a lull in the story, but doesn’t take away from how great the rest is.

suck on ur tongue

show u how much I missd that mouth

when u start getting weak in the knees

thats when ill get on mine

He set the phone aside to unzip his pants, palming himself through his boxers, already half-hard.

Then he froze.

The text he had just replied to--it was what he'd expected Travis to say, but it wasn't how Travis would say it. That text began with a capital letter and contained punctuation. That text was from--

"Oh, fuck, no," Richie whispered, and his phone rang.

Incoming call: Eds

4. * - L'Appel du Vide by Mackem - ~92,000 words, teen - I know, I know, almost 100k and no sex, but hear me out! The pining in this fic is so exquisitely beautiful and wrenching. Eddie’s POV is excellent and feels really spot on. The other Losers are well represented, especially Ben and Bev. In fact, the group dynamics here are almost as good as the relationship stuff. The later chapters bring in a subplot about the deadlights that I wasn’t that interested in, but it’s still done really, really well, and that’s only a side plot that doesn’t impact that exceptional story of Eddie and Richie figuring out how to stop being dummies.

Two messages, however, are from Stanley, sent to him privately. He opens them, and is met with a picture of Richie, apparently taken without him realising.

It shows him laughing, his eyes crinkled at the corners behind his glasses, and his smile bright and broad as a hand gestures wildly in the air. The other hand is in his hair, pushing it out of his eyes as he tilts his head back, displaying the line of his throat beneath his stubble.

The breath is punched from Eddie at the sight of it.

He stares at it for a long moment, surprised by the depth of his reaction. His stomach is swirling happily, a bubble of excitement growing at the pit, and he cannot help but feel a heated flush build at his cheeks.

It’s probably just because Richie looks like he’s enjoying himself. It’s good to see his friend having fun. That has to be it.

Then he reads Stan’s message.

Stan: He was talking about you. He does that a lot.

5. my love a beacon in the night - by zach_stone - ~4500 words, explicit - Richie is on the road doing shows through Christmas. His friends have a surprise for him. I know it’s almost Valentine’s Day, but it’s never the wrong time for a fluffy Christmas story imo.

“Yep, just got to my hotel,” Richie says. “Now I’m getting ready for my big Christmas Eve plans.”

Eddie snorts. “Oh yeah? What’s that?”

“Well according to my TV guide, they’re doing a rerun of The Mistletoe Promise, so I’m all fuckin’ set,” Richie says, grinning when Eddie laughs. On Eddie’s end of the line, he hears the sound of cars passing by, the muffled chatter of people, and says, “Are you outside?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah,” Eddie says.

Richie glances at the clock on the nightstand. It’s after ten; Eddie’s not one to be wandering around Times Square after dark. He frowns slightly. Eddie’s been unusually vague about his holiday plans, so Richie has no clue what he’s up to this evening. Not that it’s any of his business. Maybe he’s started seeing someone and is spending the holidays with them. Richie has a sudden image of Eddie, arm-in-arm with some generically pretty woman, taking in the lights and decorations around the city. It opens a pit in his stomach.

6. Coming Back and Coming Out: Richie Tozier's 2019 by Lunatical - ~2000 words, teen - I genuinely adore the mixed media fics that this fandom has spawned. This one is an excerpt from a magazine interview with Richie as he restarts his career.

Slouched on his couch in a cheesy Hawaiian shirt and torn-up jeans, Richie Tozier looks exactly like the manchild he is describing himself to be. Next to him, sitting up straight and dressed in a lovely suit that most people would consider appropriate for an interview, his husband rolls his eyes.

When we scheduled this interview, Tozier insisted we hold it at their house, citing a desire for the interview to be “as chill as possible”—in his own words, of course. He argued that seeing the two of them in their usual environment would help me get a better idea of the kind of relationship they have. After walking into their apartment and seeing the way they’ve decorated the place, I have to admit that I can understand why.

7. baby, there’s no other superstar by kaspbrakziers - ~7000 words, mature - Another mixed media fic that shows the progression of Richie and Eddie’s relationship and Richie’s career through tweets, texts, and interviews. Eddie not knowing how to turn off the capslock on his phone absolutely sent me.

Search history

Today Sunday, 13 November 2016

should i get a divorce? - Google Search

Unhappily Married: Should I get a divorce? - Yahoo Answers

10 Signs Your Marriage Is Over - Buzzfeed

how to divorce? - Google Search

How To File For Divorce (With Pictures) - wikiHow

how to divorce someone without them getting angry? – Google Search

can you divorce someone without telling them? - Google Search

8. Goes on Trips for the Scenery by InkandOwl - ~4500 words, teen - Eddie dies and then comes back to life and tries to get some perspective. I liked the conversations between Eddie and Richie and then way that Eddie starts to take care of himself. The end is really sweet.

If cosmic power and a literal alien space clown’s death wasn’t going to bring him back to life, Eddie was certain that the terrible pain of hearing Richie beg, his tears dropping onto Eddie’s face, probably would’ve done it. He feels sick just thinking about it. About what it all means. “Yeah, Rich, I will.” He could throw a jab at him, tell him something about eating like an adult for once, but he wants to be easy with him right now. Richie deserves it. “You’ll text, right?”

Richie looks down at the prepaid cricket phone in Eddie’s hand and laughs, “There’s no fucking way that thing gets texts.”

“It does.” Eddie grins, “You could call too.”

The fight drains from Richie, his shoulder slumping and he sighs, “Yeah, Eds, I’ll call.”

9. cause i'm about to blow that back out by thotgreeves - ~5000 words, explicit - Here, have some porn. Eddie wears lingerie and Richie loses his goddamn mind. Features submissive top Richie and his unending boner for Eddie.

Richie really should have learnt to never underestimate Eddie Kaspbrak by now. It had come close to killing Richie once, but Eddie might actually be trying to finish him off.

Because the other perk of always letting Eddie go ahead of him was that it gave Richie a prime view of Eddie's ass. Eddie knew about this part and was okay with it. He was wearing a high-waisted pair of slacks that Richie was pretty sure came from the women's section, slightly loose in the legs but nicely filled out by his ass. Richie had been very vocal in the past about how hot they got him, which signaled that Eddie definitely wanted to have sex tonight, and that was already enough to make Richie's dick twitch in excitement. He hadn't been prepared for the finishing blow.

Richie's eyes were fixed, pendulum-like, on how Eddie's slacks were hugging his butt perfectly with every step he took, tight enough to show off the outline of his underwear. Only the folds didn't sit where Richie had expected them to. Instead, Richie realized, his mouth going dry, that in the absence of boxers, there was only a V-shaped crease running from Eddie's hips to between his asscheeks, which could only mean-

Eddie was wearing a thong.

10. * - I’ll Be Homo For Christmas by Amuly - ~15,000 words, explicit - Bill and Audra get a divorce, so Bill moves into Richie’s house with him. Eddie, watching all of this from New York, where he’s still married to Myra, is super, super ok and fine with it in every way.

Except then Richie started posting.

Just stupid shit, mostly with Bill. It wasn’t even real. Eddie knew Bill wasn’t gay and him and Richie were just fucking around ‘for the ‘gram!’ But the more posts Eddie scrolled past on Richie’s Instagram—

Bill in the kitchen swatting at Richie with a spatula.

Richie and Bill at the pound, Richie rating dogs on adoptability, Richie begging Bill to adopt a dog with him.

Richie in the morning with bedhead, smiling blearily into the camera as Bill…

Well. Eddie couldn’t even remember what stupid thing Bill was supposed to be doing in the background of that photo because his eyes couldn’t get past Richie’s bedhead and shirtless torso, chest hairs creeping up towards his collarbones and the little dip at the base of his throat.

Eddie hadn’t thought he was homophobic. But he must have some unresolved issues with it, because he got a stomachache every time he looked at that photo of Richie. Eddie popped a Tums and resolved to talk about it with his therapist.

11. A High-Five is a Hug You Can Hit by Amuly - ~26,000 words, explicit - This fic shows us times throughout their friendship when Eddie and Richie would invent reasons to touch each other without even knowing why. This author feels the same bone deep conviction about Richie crying during sex that I do, and I greatly appreciate that. Plus, all of their stories are fantastic, including this one.

“You know, one of the symptoms of hypothermia is feeling like you’re warm. So like, your body gets so cold that it gets hot, and then you start taking off your clothes-”

“Bet you’d like that, wouldn’t you, Eddie?” Richie shot back at him without turning around.

“Why don’t you ask your sister how much she liked it last week!” Eddie hollered up at him. Richie just flipped him off without looking. That kinda… bugged Eddie. What the fuck did Richie think he was doing leading up the group with Bill? Why was he stuck back here with Stan? Eddie glanced over at Stan, who was trudging tiredly through the woods alongside him, breath puffing out in little clouds of smoke.

“Okay, Stan?”

Stan glanced over at him, confused. Then he shrugged. “Yeah, fine. Cold.”

“Well that’s better than feeling warm.” And now Eddie was back on track. “Because, if anyone starts feeling warm, they should tell the others immediately. That’s a sign of hypothermia. And we have to warm you up. But you have to do it gradually, you can’t just jump in like, a pot of boiling water-”

12. * - fall apart of stay intact by kaspbrak_kid - ~19,000 words, teen - A more melancholy take on the Christmas fic. This story takes Richie’s self-esteem issues and mental problems and amps them up in a way that feels entirely realistic. The gang comes together to celebrate Christmas, and everyone is walking on eggshells because last Christmas was a bad one for Richie. Also, Eddie moves into the house literally right next to Richie’s, and I find that detail endlessly charming.

“Five minutes ago. I called you, and you didn’t answer. Because you were outside, apparently, fucking...stargazing in December! With no hat on!”

“It’s about the Vitamin D!” Richie says. Now that he’s moved a little, he can really feel the cold—his ears are aching, and his face is numb. “Reflecting off the moon, or something. I have seasonal depression, you know!”

“You have seasonal stupidity,” Eddie mutters, audibly rubbing his hands together. “Just get inside.”

“Yours or mine?” Richie jokes.

Eddie doesn’t get the memo. “Mine, obviously. I’ll make you hot chocolate.”

“Oh,” Richie says, and sits up. “Um. Okay, be right there.”

“Oh, thank god,” Eddie says, and hightails it to his back door, cursing about the cold.

13. evidence of a happier future by lagaudiere - 23,000 words, mature - I am here, leading the Jealous!Eddie revolution. Why aren’t there more fics about this. Have you SEEN Eddie Kaspbrak, can you IMAGINE him jealous? Make this happen, fandom. Anyway, in this one, Richie has a boyfriend back in LA. Eddie has trouble dealing with that as he tries to figure himself out and pick up the pieces of his life post-Derry.

“It’s not gonna be like Mike’s announcement, don’t worry,” Richie says hastily. “And it’s not like, a huge thing, so don’t make it a huge thing. But you guys are like, my best friends, and I just wanted you to know that I’m, uh. Gay.”

He turns up his palms and raises his eyebrows in a gesture that suggests a magician presenting his audience with an empty hat after making the rabbit disappear, and Eddie says, “Are you joking?”

“What? Jesus, no, Eddie.” Richie’s face falls, and Eddie instantly feels guilty. “I’m trying to be sincere here.”

“Sorry,” Eddie says immediately, feeling all of their friends looking at him with reproach. “I was just — if you weren’t, I wouldn’t think you should… joke about it.”

“Well, I am,” Richie says. He sounds slightly put out — and who wouldn’t be, Eddie scolds himself, by that ridiculous response. “I have all the gay credientials. I have a boyfriend, partner, whatever people say. I don’t really tell people because of the whole, stage persona, thing. But yeah.”

“Richie!” Bev’s voice breaks through the awkwardness, and she reaches across the table to squeeze his hand. “Thank you for telling us. Really.”

And the others all join in, a chorus of voices telling Richie they love him and they’re proud of him, and Ben is saying, “I wanna see a picture of the guy!” and Eddie’s throat feels like it’s closing up.

14. The ‘Do Not Fucking Touch Me’ Tour by MellytheHun - ~23,000 words, explicit - It’s Richie’s comeback special, and he makes it a big one. This...isn’t really a comedy show, but the author lampshades that. It’s an excuse to have Richie talk about how much he loves each of his friends individually, and it’s extremely entertaining. Richie doesn’t know that Eddie is in the audience watching it all.

“Hey, uhm… Eddie… he couldn’t reschedule his thing? He - I mean... it… it was really that important?”

She feels awful for him immediately, but not wanting to spoil what would ultimately be a lovely surprise, she tells him, “I’m sorry, Rich. He said it was urgent. He was really sorry about it.”

Her phone buzzes with a text from Eddie right as Richie curses under his breath, missing the noise. She clutches her phone more tightly in her fist, knowing Eddie is wondering where his seat is going to be; she bought him a separate ticket, elsewhere in the theatre, so Richie wouldn’t catch him sitting among them, as he will absolutely, inevitably look over to the Losers for most of the show.

“Okay,” Richie surrenders sadly, “Uh - I guess he’ll see it eventually, right?”

Smiling forlornly at him, she pats his arm, and tells him, “don’t worry, Richie. Your genius will inevitably be forced upon us all.”

He smiles at her, gives her a kiss on the cheek, and when Bill jokingly asks why he didn’t get one, Richie flips him off, and reminds them to treat themselves to the bar in the lobby.

Once he’s backstage, Beverly takes her phone out, and emails Eddie his ticket, explains that she’s already convinced Richie he’s not coming, and to make sure he doesn’t show up too early, or Richie will notice.

15. The List by cissues - ~7000 words, teen - Eddie finds a list he wrote as a teenager. Richie tries his best to fulfill them all. This is very sweet.

‘ All the things I want. Everything I’m not allowed to have. A perfect summer. ”

The words hit gentler than he thought they would, but they still hit and he finds himself blinking away at a wetness at the corner of his eye. He wipes at it and sniffles and Richie peers sidelong at him to make sure he’s okay. He is, he’s fine, and Richie never dotes on him when things are, generally, okay. Only when he needs it, which is one of the many things he loves about what they have now.

“This is… this is like a fucking bucket list for the most repressed child in the world.” Richie says, breathless.

Eddie rolls his eyes to hide the sting. “You’re looking at him,” he says, bitter. Richie frowns at him but turns back to the paper. Another thing Eddie loves, Richie never takes his trauma-induced bait. His knee-jerk reactions developed over years of what he’s now comfortable enough to call abuse.

16. Richie Tozier Answers the Web's Most Searched Questions by DeadpanMage - ~2000 words, teen - This is a short one, but the transcript of this popular YT video format with Richie felt spot on in terms of characterization and Richie’s voice.

[Back to the text screen: “So WIRED asked Richie Tozier some of the internet’s burning questions.” Cut back to Richie, now holding a poster board with several Google autocomplete searches half covered.]

Richie: I’ve undergone something of a rebranding in the past year, so I wonder how many of these questions are going to be super irrelevant-slash-embarrassing. Probably all of them. Let’s get started! [He tears the covering off of the first question.] Alright, that’s not bad. “How to pronounce Richie Tozier?” Well, we’re only on question one and I’ve already said it like a hundred times so there you go. And that’s “Richie Tozier” spelled J-O-H-N M-U-L-A-N-E-Y, so if you’ve got any complaints be sure to send them that way. Next question!

You can check out a larger list of stories I’ve enjoyed in my AO3 bookmarks. And finally, if you’re interested, here are the two fics I’ve written:

1. Waiting For a Sign - ~6000 words, explicit - Eddie meets Richie again and comes to the startling realization that he totally wants to hit that.

Maybe if Richie wasn’t famous, Eddie could have found a way to let it go. A couple furtive jerk off sessions in the shower after he got back to New York and the image of Richie’s big hands and wide smile and improbably flattering stubble would fade from his mind.

But Richie was famous, and the internet never forgot.

Eddie lasted three days before giving in and typing ‘Richie Tozier’ into the YouTube search bar. Just seeing Richie in the thumbnails was enough to make Eddie’s heart thud, what the fuck. He had to scroll past a bunch of news videos about Richie's supposed mental breakdown, but after that he landed on some old stand-up.

Before he clicked on the first video, he got up and made sure that the door of his study was locked. Then he turned off the lights and put on a pair of earbuds.

Fake It ‘Til You Make It - ~21,000 words, explicit - It’s that totally relatable situation where the man you’re secretly in love with is a celebrity who just came out and now needs a fake boyfriend to keep himself in the spotlight. Eddie offers to help out of the goodness of his heart and not because he’s insanely fucking jealous.

Eddie froze, breath catching in his throat.

Richie looked...really good.

Bev’s influence was obvious. His hair, which had been unkempt and shaggy, a perfect match for his stoner permakid schtick, was cut much shorter and neater. His formerly unruly stubble somehow now emphasized the sharp cut of his jaw instead of obscuring it.

He wore new glasses, Eddie noticed. Slim silver metal frames instead of his giant, clunky plastic ones. The fitted black sweater and dark blue jeans were simple, but made his shoulders look impossibly broad and his legs miles long.

Fuck everything and Beverly Marsh in particular.

LINK TO MY FIRST SET OF REDDIE RECS 30+ FICS

#reddie fic #reddie #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #fic recs #it chapter 2 #ao3 #rec list #reddie fic recs

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rosethornewrites · 4 years ago

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Fic: the thread may stretch or tangle but it will never break, ch. 6

Characters: Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī, Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn, Wēn Qíng, Wēn Níng | Wēn Qiónglín, Granny Wēn, Lán Yuàn | Lán Sīzhuī

Additional Tags: Pre-Slash, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Secrets, Crying, Masks, Soulmates, Truth, Self-Esteem Issues, Regret, It was supposed to be a one-shot, Fix-It, Eventual Relationships, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, wwx needs a hug, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Filial Piety, Handfasting, Phobias, Sleeping Together, Fear, Panic Attacks, Love Confessions, Getting Together, Phobias

Summary: When Wei Ying wakes, they have a long-overdue conversation.

Note: See end.

AO3 link

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5

———

Lan WangJi stirs naturally at mao shi, confused by the feeling of someone against him at first. Wei Ying is still curled in his arms, his face pressed against his chest, one hand fisted in his robes.

When he tries to disentangle himself, it’s more difficult than expected. He finds Wei Ying’s other hand is clinging to a lock of his hair, and both fists tighten at the movement.

Then Wei Ying stirs, jerking back immediately and yelping, “Dog!” as though still trapped in his panic of the night before.

Lan WangJi finds himself pulled part way with him, as Wei Ying neglects to release his hair.

“Eliminated, Wei Ying,” he says softly, watching the bleariness of sleep slowly fade from his eyes.

Thankfully, the remnants of last night’s panic fade with it, and Wei Ying lets go of his hair, wincing in sympathy as he realizes he’s pulled it.

“Sorry,” he murmurs.

“There is no need, between us,” Lan WangJi gently reminds him. “I did not realize you were afraid of dogs.”

Wei Ying flinches, and he realizes the fear is strong enough that he reacts to just the word.

“Wei Ying?”

He keeps his tone soft, a request, but one that can be ignored if he so wishes. Instead Wei Ying sighs, and reaches down to pull up a leg of his trousers, revealing flesh marred by old scars.

“The other one is the same,” he says. “And they go higher. Living on the streets means fighting dogs for food. You learn pretty quick they’re mean.”

“How long?” Lan WangJi asks, trying to keep the horror from his voice.

Wei Ying shrugs, rolling his trousers back down.

“I don’t remember. A few years. I didn’t keep much track of time. Too young when my parents died, and no one really knows exactly when that was.”

He can see Wei Ying shiver, and wraps the blanket around him.

“It’s only mao,” he tells him. “You can sleep longer.”

That gets a grimace. “Not likely to sleep. Even if you got rid of that damn thing. I’m surprised it didn’t give me nightmares.”

“Of your childhood?”

Lan WangJi knew he had cried out about dogs in his fevered sleep, but that was during a fever. Though, perhaps, after trauma…

Wei Ying shakes his head.

“I never told you. In Nightless City, when Wen Chao took me for ‘questioning’...”

He trails off, his mouth a thin line, and draws the blanket around him tighter.

“When I didn’t have information on the missing Yin Iron he put me in qi-suppressing chains and tossed me in the dungeon, in a cell with a very hungry dog. So big its teeth were level with my face.”

Wei Ying smiles, but it’s without mirth.

“Said if I was still alive in the morning, all would be forgiven.”

Given what had happened only hours ago, Lan WangJi doubts Wei Ying, even with his qi, could have fought effectively. Wen Chao wouldn’t have known of his crippling fear, but had not expected him to survive regardless.

He remembers that morning, the blood on Wei Ying’s skin, the rips in his clothing, and his show of flippancy. But he also remembers he had been quieter after that, putting on a mask of carelessness, but also careful to toe the line.

Suddenly Wei Ying’s fear of dogs in the delirium of fever has a new context.

“You survived,” Lan WangJi comments.

Wei Ying laughs shortly.

“Only thanks to Wen Ning. He knocked it out with needles, and gave me energy boosting medicine and herbs to stop the bleeding. I was able to save some of the herbs. That’s why I had them in the cave.”

For a moment, silence stretches between them, and Lan WangJi reflects on the scene Wei Ying had caused at the banquet, his anger and grief at Qiongpi Path. Wen Ning, who had also saved Jiang Cheng from Wen Chao after the fall of Lotus Cove, who had sheltered them.

Wen Ning, who the Jins and many of the other sects would, and had, happily killed. Just as, he suspects, they would Wei Ying, particularly with the prize of the Stygian Tiger Seal. Jin Guangshan’s obsession with it bothers Lan WangJi, with his zhiji now unprotected by a sect, alienated from the cultivation world.

“I would have died in that dungeon,” Wei Ying comments, “a warning to all of you to behave, if he hadn’t stepped in.”

Lan WangJi tries not to imagine it, but he can, all too easily. Instead of Wei Ying joining the line at indoctrination and complaining of hunger and boasting of his glorious scars, his corpse being dragged to be dumped in front of them.

Wei Ying’s death would have crushed him, he thinks. With his brother missing and father and uncle injured, his sect decimated, the promise to Lan Yi broken… to lose Wei Ying at that point would have destroyed what was left of his sanity.

Lan WangJi, too, owes a tremendous debt to Wen Ning.

“But maybe they wouldn’t have attacked Lotus Pier, then.”

It’s barely a whisper, one so filled with grief and guilt Lan WangJi is reaching for his arm, gripping it through the blanket, before he realizes it, imaginings of Wei Ying’s bloody body in various states of brokenness on the steps of Nightless City haunting his mind. He can feel the tension in his body, as though Wei Ying is on the verge of shattering.

“Wei Ying. They would have attacked regardless.”

“They were just going to make it a supervisory office at first. If I was punished.”

Lan WangJi isn’t sure he wants to know what that entailed, but he asks anyway.

“Punished?”

Wei Ying shrugs. “My hand. It would’ve prevented the massacre. I think Madam Yu was going to do it, too. But then they mentioned Lotus Cove becoming the supervisory office.”

He feels a chill at the idea of Wei Ying mutilated like that, of having never heard him play the dizi, of the pain he would have accepted for the sake of others. This image, so quickly on the heels of the previous… He knows Wei Ying would have given his core anyway, even with such an injury.

“Wei Ying, they only would have started with your hand,” he says softly. “They would have come back and wanted more.”

He receives no response, and he knows nothing he says will convince Wei Ying that the fall of Lotus Pier, the deaths of the disciples and Jiang FengMian and Yu ZiYuan, perhaps even the war itself… None of it was his fault. Worse, he knows Wei Ying would feel any loss on his part would be acceptable, that Wei Ying always feels thus.

But he can’t help himself, and can only try anyway.

“You lost enough in the war, Wei Ying. Wen RuoHan was to blame for the fall of Lotus Pier, not you. Likely he was only defeated because of your contribution and sacrifices.”

Wei Ying had been avoiding looking at him, but his gaze lifts to meet his finally. His eyes shine as though he is on the verge of tears, and there’s a tightness in his jaw. He had this look months ago, during the hunt when Jiang YanLi defended him publicly against the ugly accusations of Jin ZiXun. He truly isn’t used to being defended, to being valued.

Lan WangJi takes a moment to collect himself, to find words.

“I wish you had not suffered as much as you did. I wish you did not suffer still. You do not deserve to suffer, Wei Ying.”

Normally he would expect Wei Ying to be flippant, to make light of everything, but for once his zhiji has let himself be open. Lan WangJi can only hope it means he has regained his trust, but it could simply be the early hour and weariness following the panic of the dog spirit.

“‘A candle illuminates others at the cost of burning itself up.’” He tightens his hold on his arm. “You cannot shoulder the burdens of the world yourself. Let me help you.”

Silence stretches between them for a short while.

“Lan Zhan, do you think you can help me?”

A year ago, the question would have been asked in a hard voice, defensive. Now, Wei Ying’s voice is so small, as though he wonders if anyone can help him. It tears at Lan WangJi, reminds him of how very late he is, reminds him of when he asked Wei Ying to let him help before, and failed to see it through.

He can find no words to answer; instead, he decides to let his guqin speak, let the music speak, and hope his zhiyin truly understands. He lets go of Wei Ying’s arm and manifests his guqin, begins the gentle melody of “WangXian.”

Wei Ying relaxes by increments as he plays, easing to lean back against the wall of the cave. Lan WangJi runs through the song twice, then stills the strings, dismisses the instrument, and waits quietly.

“I remember where I heard that now,” Wei Ying says, breaking the silence left in the wake of the music. “The cave. After we fought the XuanWu. You sang for me.”

“Yes. You were ill from your injuries, from infection.”

Wei Ying hums softly, his eyes closed as though remembering.

“I think I asked what it was called, but I don’t remember the answer. I must have passed out.”

So he truly hadn’t heard; his behavior upon his reappearance had been unconnected to what Lan WangJi had thought was his confession.

“You were delirious with fever,” he tells him, hedging. “Do you know the significance of the Lan forehead ribbon?”

Wei Ying frowns at him, clearly confused by what appears to him to be a change of subject, peering at him through the dusky gloom of the cave.

“Something about restraint. No one’s supposed to touch it.”

Lan WangJi sighs softly.

“‘To regulate oneself,’ more precisely. Only family and cultivation partners are permitted to touch it.”

There’s a minute change in Wei Ying’s expression, but he can’t quite see well enough in the dim lighting to tell what it is. He pulls a talisman from his sleeve and activates it, lighting the candles that line the cave on small juts in the stone.

“Do you remember the Cold Spring cave?” he asks, pressing on, watching his face.

Wei Ying is silent, but his brows knot. It takes less than a minute for him to realize, his lips parting in shock.

“We bowed,” Wei Ying whispers, his voice hoarse. “That was a handfasting? I didn’t know. You never said.”

Lan WangJi doesn’t know how to reply, so says nothing.

“Why didn’t you?” Wei Ying looks confused now. “It’s not… We never… You can have it annulled.”

He tries to find the words, anything that would help him convey what he means, but speaking is not his forte, especially with Wei Ying trying to point out the marriage is technically not valid because it was never consummated, which isn’t the path his mind needs to embark on at the moment.

“I did not wish to,” Lan WangJi finally says. “I still do not.”

Wei Ying stares at him, looking frozen, as though the words have paralyzed him. He still looks confused, uncertain. Lan WangJi returns to the music.

“The title of the song is ‘WangXian.’”

Wei Ying’s reaction is a small intake of air, almost a gasp. Emotions flit across his face too fast to decipher, before he hides it in the blanket.

“Lan Zhan.”

His voice is muffled and rough.

“I can’t cultivate to immortality anymore, Lan Zhan. The resentful energy… you were right, when you said it harms the body and mind. I don’t know if I’ll even… if I’ll even have a mediocre lifespan. I’ll leave you.”

Nowhere in what he has said, Lan WangJi realizes, is a rejection. Rather, it’s an attempt to convince him that Wei Ying isn’t good enough, isn’t worthy. To remind him that Wei Ying accepted a shorter lifespan and pain to help his brother. As though his selflessness would ever make him unworthy.

Lan WangJi reaches out, grasps Wei Ying’s arm under the blanket again. It is still painful to be reminded of the fleeting time they’ll have, but at the same time it makes what he has to say more important, makes the idea of wasting any more devastating.

“Then I will find you again in your next life, and every life thereafter if necessary,” he promises.

He recognizes the sound Wei Ying makes in response as a choked sob, and pulls him close, into his arms.

“You deserve better,” Wei Ying mumbles against him, still hiding his face. “I’m not—”

“Wei Ying,” he interrupts, not willing to hear his zhiji put himself down. “I want only you.”

Wei Ying’s breath hitches, and he finally looks up, his face wet, his lips trembling. Lan WangJi abandons decorum, reaching to card one hand in the hair below his ear, curling his fingers at the nape of his neck, and leaning in to kiss him.

This first kiss is clumsy, as he isn’t quite sure what one is supposed to do with one’s lips, and it doesn’t seem Wei Ying is entirely clear on it either—but Wei Ying is reciprocating. He’s reciprocating, and Lan WangJi’s heart sings with the understanding that this is truly not rejection.

When he pulls back, Wei Ying looks startled, flushed, maybe even shy. But he doesn’t seem to be crying anymore, which Lan WangJi counts as a win.

He finds himself relieved when Wei Ying softly teases him, that he’s moved away from the brooding and seriousness that has plagued him since they woke. He’s been pulled out of his melancholy depression, and there’s a kind of power there—Lan WangJi did that.

“You stole my first kiss,” he murmurs, his voice almost coy. “You’ll have to take responsibility.”

“Mm,” he agrees. “I did when we were fifteen.”

Wei Ying’s startled laugh is like music to him, and he pulls him gently down onto the pallet to kiss him more.

All else can wait.

-----------------

AND THEY WERE HUSBANDS. I’ve been thinking about this chapter for a couple weeks now. Glad it’s finally written.

“A candle illuminates others at the cost of burning itself up” is a Chinese proverb I felt fit in this situation.

#my fanfiction #the untamed #untamed fanfiction #mo dao zu shi #mdzs #chen qing ling #cql #mdzs fanfiction #mdzs fanfic #cql fanfic #cql fanfiction #untamed fanfic #lan zhan #wei wuxian

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