#it’s a miracle!

[fritzes]

casper ruud just won a title and it was NOT a 250

[wildcactuskat]

Young Justice is just. Delightfully silly a lot

[here-there-everyfuckenwhere]

Hey I didn’t fuck it up by colouring it this time!

[cat-gwyn-gunn]

Oh my God a real new follower?! Holy shit!

[i-post-random-layton-screenshots]

[asweetprologue]

this is so devastating. laois should have just shot him with a gun

[dyke-arachne]

Crying tears of joy.... in a knitting facebook group someone's selling four balls of a discontinued yarn that I only have two balls of. And I havent touched them for ages because two balls wasnt enough for anything I wanted to make LMAO. Miracle of miracles!

[sillysiluriforme]

[kedreeva]

There's some dude (derogatory) on FB who is PISSED people are pricing their farm fresh eggs at $2 and $3 a dozen instead of $4+, saying it's "disrespectful" and "undignified" and "I'm trying to feed my kids" like Sir, you are on a Facebook group page bitching about your neighbors egg prices because your pet chickens aren't earning you a living wage and you think it's your neighbors' fault, you do not have a leg to stand on here wrt dignity.

Also half the answers are like "I give them to friends and family free" or "I donate them to food banks" or "I'm making them affordable to folks who might not otherwise be able to get them now that they're so expensive in the store" and "if you think you're going to turn a profit keeping backyard chickens you have been wildly misled" and so on, and so forth, and I'm so living for it.

and I can tell you right now, he did NOT like my answer of "if you're trying to feed your kids, I hear eggs are edible."

[no-entry-access]

‘Silent disco’ meanwhile I’m screaming my lungs out

[batshit-auspol]

Police have tweeted that large bags of cocaine are washing up on the beaches of Sydney and have asked the public not to touch them.

Merry Christmas everyone

[engravedlives]

misc music stamps

[garfrigerator]

"kill them with kindness" wrong. fall inside a hole you couldn't see 🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳

[grntaire]

“their miracle was so big bc crowley used to be an archangel” have u considered that aziraphale and crowley love each other so much that their love alone could move the tides just by staring at the ocean for too long. have u considered that they did the miracle not really to protect gabriel but to protect what they had, what they’d built with each other. and that was them barely even trying

[heavenbarnes]

hmm thinking about older bf!simon who hasn’t really got his head around the whole sexting thing- the man had a flip phone before he met you.

he had, however, reluctantly gone out and got an android after a harmless conversation between the two of you.

“how am i meant to send you videos while you’re away if you have a flip phone, si?”

“videos of what?”

“guess.”

he virtually only uses the thing to get texts, calls, and videos of you fucking yourself in your shared bed whilst he’s deployed. he saves every video, which is a risky manoeuvre considering you haven’t taught him how to set a passcode yet (johnny catches a not-unwelcome eyeful when he goes looking for the directions he sent simon earlier)

older bf!simon is also a fantastic listener, when you tell him you want him to send pics but not ones that make his cock look like a dead fish. you give him strict instructions:

put your phone on self-timer, sit back, thighs spread, one hand around your cock, the other behind your head, you choose if your face is in it xox

man loves an order.

so whilst he’s away, you’re in the kitchen cooking up dinner-for-one and your phone buzzes on the counter- you drop the fucking pasta strainer straight on the floor when you unlock your phone.

simon’s face wasn’t necessarily in the photo, more so his mask. he was fully dressed, tactical gear (down to the vest) still on with a rifle leaning against his thigh. he was in the exact position you’d request, gloved fingers wrapped around the base of him with his other bicep firm behind his head.

you’re so busy saving the photo and staring back at it 100,000 times that you forget to respond. honestly, you forget how to function as your mouth goes dry and your eyes are unable to look at anything else.

simon hesitates on the other end, wondering if he’d fucked up- if he hadn’t followed the brief, if he’d embarrassed himself. thankfully, he knows he only has to ask.

“that what you were after, pet?”

the trepidation in his chest is replaced with a rapidly inflating ego.

“jesus christ, that’s exactly what i needed”

swapped out with slight confusion, but the ever present willingness to learn.

“you ever heard of a nut video with sound on?”

pt2