#it’s 5am and I haven’t slept yet and I feel like I could run on a hamster wheel

[evion-sage]

i’m so fucking manic right now send help

[parkjess]

Hi! Can I please request a lee dongmin imagine where they are best friends and y/n has love him but he doesn’t realize it and they fight. Please include lots of angst but a happy ending pleaseeee. Thank youuu so much!!

Thank you for requesting!🥰

(Min is a nickname for Dongmin🙃)

Days gone by/ Lee Dongmin (cha eunwoo)

It’s been days since you slept well, yet you can’t even blame him, only yourself.

You’ve been running from one press conference to another one, ending every day at the shooting set with your best friend, Dongmin, who works hard with even less hours of sleep than you get. He didn’t ask you to come, but you’ve been there because it’s important to you to support him all the way.

“Aren’t you tired y/n? It’s getting late. Should I get you an Uber?” He fixes your hair that got messy long time ago, you hold tightly onto the 5th cup of coffee today, and your heartbeats are getting out of control with every little touch of him.

-“No, it’s okay min, I’ll leave with you.” You reply and check your phone to avoid any contact with him since your eyes are half swollen from being tired and on your feet since 5am. It is 10pm now, and the director doesn’t look like he’s about to finish this shooting day soon.

“Don’t be stubborn, I can tell you’re sleepy, please don’t do it to yourself.” As much as it looked like he’s all into his career, his head was always busy about you, not showing it enough though. -“I’m not stubborn... okay I am. But I’m not even that tired. See? I’m drawing.” You show him your phone, it was bright enough to dazzle him and he covers his eyes.

“Are you kidding me?” He laughs unbelievably, “you never use the brightness this high. Y/n...” he calls your name softly at the end, pulling you to a bear hug.

“Eunwoo-ya!” The director suddenly calls his name, scaring both of you as he turns to him. -“Yes, director?” He replies politely as the older man starts to laugh. “You worked hard today, you may go home now.” Your eyes widen and you felt relieved at the director’s words, sighing.

-“it’s your lucky day.” Dongmin smiles at you and packs his things that we’re resting next to you the whole time.

Every day is my lucky day if I get to spend it with you. You thought.

You giggle and follow him to his car. The ride home was quiet, it was raining softly on the car window you stared at the whole time, almost falling asleep at the calming atmosphere.

Only his soft voice ringing in your ear and the sound of raindrops in the other.

-“It’s my free day tomorrow.” He says, waking you up from the daydream you fell into. -“Oh, I woke you up, sorry y/n...” he says and smiles widely, back to focus on the slippery road when you glance at him.

“It is?” You asked in surprise, it was good news since you could rest well finally, but you weren’t as relieved as you thought you would be, it means you won’t see him the whole weekend, and maybe next week too since he has to go to another city.

“I’m glad for you...” you think and then say, what could you else reply with? It’s a good thing, for both of you to rest, but it’s your feelings that won’t rest all this time, and you already know it.

He smiles at you when you look at him, his eyes are still on the road as they should be, and the short conversation is over.

“Dongmin...” you say when he pulls over the car in the parking lot the closest to your place. -“Yes?” He looks at you lovely, yet friendly. “Thanks for the ride, rest well...” that all you could say, but is that’s what you wanted to say? Absolutely not.

A short smile appears on his face and you close the car door, with slow steps you walk towards your home, but it feels like you just left your real home.

Days gone by, and you haven’t heard of him since that tiring day.

“It’s been a while Min, let’s meet at the café.” You decide to text him and be the first who contact, it feels empty without him near, his voice his missing in your ears. Not even an emoji from him, only seen is shown.

Arriving at the café, you search for Dongmin with your eyes, without moving your body a lot, you take a seat at the nearest table. After couple of minutes waiting, the familiar smell of his clothes approached. “Hey... Dongmin-Ah, how have you been?” You stand up to greet him and ask with a smile, that one that appears every time you see him.

-“it’s been good, I met someone...” he says and sips on the coffee he brought along, taking a seat. Your heart skipped a bit and your face forgot that sweet smile as you heard his words. “Oh, what do you mean ‘met someone’? Like...” you try to understand if you got it right and his shining smile already approves what his words haven’t.

-“We’ve been dating since then...” he talks about the day he haven’t seen you since.

“I hope she treats you well, take care Dongmin.” You say and get up of your seat, grabbing your bag. -“Wait, y/n where are you going?” You start to walk slowly towards the door and he’s quick to follow you. -“I thought you wanted to catch up? What is wrong with you- y/n, stop!” He grabs you by the wrist as you start to walk faster, not noticing the car that was driving fast towards your direction, the weather gets colder and everything seems white as if it was snowing.

You turn around to him, feeling like the main character in one of the dramas he plays in, tears streaming down your face automatically, and your blood is boiling inside, heart racing.

-“He could’ve hit you! What the hell are you doing?!” He raised his voice at you, for the first time in his life since you know each other.

“I don’t care! Let go of my hand.” You shout back and people around seem to be staring at both of you.

“Leave me alone. Please...” you start to cry harder and he pulls you into a hug, your hands naturally grab his coat but you try your best to pull away.

-“I won’t until you tell me what is going on.” He says, you could barely hear him behind your back and due to your sobs, but you managed to. “I...” your sobs won’t let you even speak properly and you try your best to fight it back. “I have feelings for you Dongmin-Ah. That is what’s going on.” You pull away from his warm embrace and look him in the eyes although your vision is blurred.

He opened his mouth to speak up but said nothing and lead you to his car, holding your back the whole time until you get in.

-“Y/n... I- I didn’t know that...” he sits in the drivers seat, takes your hand into his and holds it tightly, you try to look away to hide your tears.

“Forget it, can you drive me home?” You pull your arm to yourself to loosen his grip on your wrist and look away towards the window which is getting covered in white slowly as the snow falls softly on it.

-“No. I can’t. I’m not starting the car until you talk to me.” He’s stating. You turn your head to him and see he’s waiting for you to speak up, but you already had enough of this day, and it only started. “Fine. Goodbye.” You open the car door and get out of it, not minding the cold weather hitting you at once and brushing away your hair.

Your tears stopped streaming but they choke you inside, you are getting panicked and searching for your phone in the pockets of your coat, realizing you probably left it in his car.

“Fuck it...” you curse under your cold breath, taking a deep one and decide to go back to his car, but a tall figure bumps into you as you turn around, he grabs you by your shoulders to keep you steady. -“You forgot your phone...” you look up to meet your favorite pair of eyes of his, the one who just got your heart broken.

-“Can you please look at me again and not look away everytime you do?” He says after you take your phone from his hands, it’s freezing cold, but his hands are warm. “And do what? You want me to get hurt again?” You attack him with the only words you had in mind, trying to hold back the tears.

-“Look! Just read this.” He puts his phone infront of you, it shows a chat with someone unfamiliar to you, and few messages from the last couple of minutes.

“What is it, min?” You ask him, reading carefully every single words it says. -“She broke up with me. She saw me with you earlier and said she saw how you looked at me, thinking I’m cheating on her with you.”

“And you came here to blame me for your girlfriend breaking up with you?” You lift an eyebrow, your nose is freezing and you try to breathe normally. -“I came to tell you I like the way she thought were dating, and that I felt free when she sent me those messages.” At this point his voice is softened to the sweetest tone, comforting your broken heart.

-“Can you please come back to my car? Your nose is red already...” he asked and led you to the car again, this time you knew you won’t run away.

“So... what are you saying?” You ask him, sitting comfortably.

-“I thought about it... and it wasn’t the worst idea taking you on a date, I mean, a real date.” He stuttered, yet confident. “The worst huh?” You smile and tease him, it feels different, but it’s the same comforting feeling he gives you everytime.

-“So, would you go on a date with me?” He asks, starting the car.

“I thought it was clear...” you laugh. “All these tears made me hungry, let’s go to eat something.” You came back to yourself, laughing at how he could make you feel better, or should you thank the one he dated until 10 minutes ago?

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Ocean Eyes - Part 11

A/N- OMG i finally updated!!

Please like/comment/share if you like this. Seeing that people are actually enjoying this fic makes me wanna write more lol 💕💕

I got next to no sleep, i just laid in bed going over and over the things Chris had said....was he being serious?? or was it the alcohol talking??

Finally giving up on sleep at 5:30am i got up and dressed and decided i needed to talk to someone about all this. When i went downstairs i made a cup of tea and grabbed Chris's coat from the back of the chair then headed outback, Dodger following behind me.

I walked down to the pool area and sat down at the table and chairs that were next to it where i was far enough away from the house to have a private conversation. I unlocked my phone smiling at the photo of Chris, Scott and Mason before scrolling to my recent contacts and hitting call.

"Hello" she answered after two rings.

"Hey ma, i didnt wake you did i?"

"No sweetheart, you know me I've been up since 5am"

"Thats because you're crazy" i chuckled.

"why are you up this early? This is very unlike you"

"Ive not really slept..... mom something happened with Chris last night and i'm kinda freaking out...."

"Oh god please tell me you haven't slept with him already....."

"No! Jesus Ma...."

"Thats good, so what happened?"

"Well after Mason went to bed last night i stayed up with Chris and Scott, we had a few drinks and just hung out you know? Everything was fine until Scott went to bed" i started explaining shaking my head, i told her all about Chris ending things with his girlfriend, about him getting jealous about Derek and then i dropped the kicker.... Chris confessed to still loving me and wanting a second chance!

"Wow, thats alot to take in"

"Tell me about it! Ive been up all night going over it again and again"

"So what did you tell Chris?"

"I just said that we needed to talk about this when we were both sober. I mean he could wake up and forget he even said any of this to me last night"

"Would you still bring it up if he does forget?"

"I don't know Ma, i don't know what to do"

"Only you can answer that, i can't tell you the right thing to do here baby. All i know is that you have loved that man since i can remember, even when he left and broke your heart you still loved him"

"You love who you love right?.... i just feel like an idiot" i mumbled picking at the sleeve of Chris's coat nervously.

"You're not an idiot"

"I feel like one!"

"Just talk to him, take things slow.... maybe use this time together to get to know eachother again before you decide on anything. Also, just remember this effects Mason now"

"Thats what makes it worse ma" i quickly wiped away a tear that rolled down my face, Dodger came over putting his face in my lap and i smiled as i scratched behind his ear. When i looked up my breath caught when i saw Chris slipping out the sliding door and heading my way.

"Shit, he's coming over.... i gotta go Ma. I'll call you later"

"Okay sweetheart, good luck.... deep breaths, i love you"

"Love you too, bye".

I locked my phone and placed it on the table before wrapping Chris's coat tighter around me. Dodger spotted Chris and went bounding over to him excited to see him up and about.

"Morning, you're up early" he said before sitting in the chair beside me.

"Morning, i couldn't sleep. Thought id call my mom to check in"

"All the way out here?"

"Its early i didn't want to wake anyone up" i shrugged picking up my tea taking a mouthful.

"You sure thats all it was?"

"Mmhmmm"

"You're not hiding from me after last night?" He raised his eyebrows at me questioningly.

"So you remember what you said last night?"

"Of course, i wasn't that drunk" he scoffed reaching for my tea and helping himself to a few mouthfuls.

"Im not hiding, just.... thinking"

"About?"

"About what the fuck i'm supposed to do!"

"Do you love me?" He suddenly asked making me look up at him, into those eyes.... damn him!

"What?"

"Do you still love me? Its a simple question babe"

"Its not a simple answer Chris" i shrugged "i mean of course i do but i just..... the way you treated me before.... how do i know that wont happen again?"

"It wont i promise! I know how bad i messed up...."

"You say that now but i can't help but worry about you changing your mind.

You broke my heart when you left me and now we have Mason to think about.... i don't want him getting hurt if this doesn't work out again".

"So your answer's no? You wont give me a second chance?" He asked sadly his eyes tearing up, i forgot how emotional he could get.

"Maybe we should just spend this time together, get to know each other again and go from there?" I said taking my mom's advise.

"So you're not ruling it out completely? Its not a hard no?"

"Im saying maybe, just... baby steps" i smiled over at him and he nodded smiling back at me as he reached over and took my hand.

"I promise you i wont let you down again, i wanna be the man you deserve and the dad that Mason deserves"

"Id like that a lot, even though i hated you for what you did... i still missed you"

"I know, i missed you too"

"Lets go in im freezing" i said getting up, Chris was suddenly standing and pulling me into his arms holding me tight.

"Chris..." i mumbled into his chest as my hands landed on his waist.

"Im sorry i just needed to hold you"

I sighed and wrapped my arms around him... as nervous as this made me it felt so good to be in his arms again.

"I'll make things right again i promise" he mumbled pressing a kiss to the top of my head.

The weeks were flying by and we were all still in lockdown, it was now May and there was no sign of anything changing just yet.

Chris was doing a lot of online interviews to promote his new show 'Defending Jacob', when these video chats took place Scott and I made sure to take Mason to another part of the house so he wouldn't interrupt.

Things with Chris and I had been going good, we wouldn't act any differently around Mason but once he was in bed we'd snuggle on the sofa.... we'd shared a few kisses here and there but thats as far as it had gone.

"Mom can we take Dodger for a walk?" Mason came running in from the backyard with Dodger diving on the sofa next to me.

"You better go ask your dad buddy"

"Dad!!!!" Mason yelled loudly making me laugh.

"Why are you yelling?? i'm right here" Chris said walking in from the kitchen with coffee's. Mason chuckled cuddling up to me suddenly going all silly.

"Why you getting all shy?" I asked as i run my fingers through his hair.

"I don't know" he mumbled hiding his face against me, Chris sat down next to him and picked him up pulling him into his lap.

"Whats up pal? Why was you calling me?"

"Mom said i had to ask you if we can take Dodger for a walk"

"Sure we can! Why don't you go get your shoes on and grab Dodgers leash while your mom and i finish our coffee then we'll go"

"Yes!! thank you dad!" Mason wriggled down from Chris's lap and run upstairs to the room he'd been staying in.

"Maybe it'll wear him out enough that he has a nap, kid has too much energy!" I said looking over at Chris.

"He loves walking Dodger thats all"

"So do i but not this much! Poor Dodge is probably begging for a rest!"

"He's fine, we'll just walk up the road a bit throw the ball around... we don't have to be gone long"

"I guess"

"You coming with us?"

"Yeah why not".

We walked Dodger as promised and let him and Mason run around playing fetch. Chris took me by surprise by grabbing hold of my hand pulling me close enough to kiss me.

"Hey! We said not in front of Mace...."

"He's not looking its fine" he laughed "so, i was thinking maybe you could stay in my room tonight?"

"And what if Mason catches us??"

"We'll say we're having a sleepover" he smirked.

"You're terrible!"

"You didn't say no though" he wriggled his eyebrows at me.

"I didn't say yes either. Mace, come on Bud we're heading back" i called out stepping away from Chris even though all i wanted to do was pounce on him!

As i looked over to where Mason and Dodger were playing i spotted a familiar car parked across the street outside of the gated area.

"You've got to be shitting me....."

"Whats wrong?"

"Thats Brian's car out there"

"What?!!! Are you sure?"

"Yeah"

"Im gonna kick this guys ass i swear to god...." Chris said as he started to storm towards Brian, i quickly grabbed his arm pulling him back.

"Lets just go back inside, call the police. I don't want you getting into trouble over that jackass. Just get Mason and Dodger and lets go. He cant get in here"

"Okay.... okay lets go" he whistled for Dodger who came bounding over followed by an out of breath Mason and we walked back up to the house locking ourselves safely inside while Chris called and reported Brian.

Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit @rynabarnesrogers-reading @rainbowkisses31 @rororo06 @supernaturalwintersoldier @fairlightswiftly @hiddelstannerbarnes

Ocean eyes: @supraveng @michelehansel @melissaglenn5 @denisemarieangelina

@mrsjeffwittek @mery-be @marvelfansworld @cmalass @capstopavenger @fallenoutofrose @kelbabyblue @biebsmylife95 @loser-alert @traceyaudette @w3lissax @jennmurawski13 @ford66steal @saiyanprincessswanie @christocrave

@jakiki94 @torntaltos @my-dearest-agent @buchanansebba @ms-betsy-fangirl

[sa-nddd]

first mcyt post! this is a dream smp one! let me know what you think :)

Dream SMP headcanons: being the villain >:)

basically, reader is the chew toy of L'manburg. everyone uses her, yet treats her like crap. she's tired of being a toy, and finally unleashes her power.

takes place in the dream smp

warnings: strong language, injury, manipulation, explosives, strong themes

not proofread, it's 5am on a school night and I haven't slept :)

gender identity: cis female, she/her pronouns, no use of name

she was tired.

days, months, years of being pushed over and treated like shit, how didn't they see it coming?

it started in L'manburg's fight for Independence.

She was passionate, wanting to do everything to help her 'friends'.

she gave them shelter, weapons, supplies, and care.

thinking back, all she sees is their faces in red.

fast forward a bit, the war was done!

celebrations nightly, and never was she invited.

she didn't mind, thinking they just were distracted and forgot to send her an invite.

she does live a few miles away, anyways.

then came Schlatt's takeover.

once again, she sent pogtopia crates of her weaponry and materials, only wanting to help.

only to get left by herself, preparing to defeat Schlatt on her own.

when she saw them all walk to the battle field together, she was torn.

Once again, she was left to her own accord, almost getting hit with DREAM'S arrows.

Techno, however, pulled her away.

The only person who showed her an act of kindness.

She fought with a new determination that day.

A few days after that fight, Techno heard a knock from where he was farming potatoes.

Looking up, he saw her standing on the bottom step of pogtopia's stairs, holding an ender chest.

she walked up to him, stopping a safe distance away before placing down her e-chest and opening it.

she pulled out a few things, three stacks of pink fireworks, a few wither skulls, and netherite blocks.

he looked at her in confusion, not understanding why she gave him so many things.

he refused at first, which made her confused.

everyone always took her gifts with open arms, why wasn't he?

when he asked her why she gave him such a expensive gift, she ended up explaining her story, how she was unknowingly being used for her materials.

techno was low-key pissed.

he'd keep her in mind, he promised.

fast forward a bit more, and the two became closer.

since then, techno has taught her everything she needed to know.

how she was manipulated, used, and a victim.

after realizing what techno was telling her was the truth, she decided to stop her generous ways, giving less and less things to her 'friends' and more towards herself and techno.

the two became close, bonding over being used and their power.

the two were a powerful duo, finding strength within eachother.

they were attached at the hip, techno not being this close to anyone other than Phil.

it was surprising, but welcomed.

techno would teach her his ways in fights, and they often collected materials together.

they basically lived together at this point.

he was soft

skipping forward to Manburg's last battle, they agreed on something.

anarchy was the best B)

jk, that they would do everything in their power to destroy every government they could.

As the battle went on, they stood with their backs together, protecting eachother.

as they confronted Schlatt, techno pushed her behind him, not wanting her in reach of the mentally unstable man in front of them.

as they walked to the podium, leaving Schlatt's body behind, the duo stood proudly next to eachother.

the first government they tore apart as partners, it felt great.

they watched, their proud expressions slipping into angry ones as they watched a new government being formed in front of them.

"The fuck?" she whispered out, following techno as he stood up straight, preparing to shout his next words.

she pulled out her ender chest, doing quick work of pulling out her soul and and wither skulls, as well as some xp bottles to heal her and Techno's armour.

as techno started his speech, she handed him the materials, splashing potions in preparation for the blast damage they might take.

then, the ground rumbled beneath them.

They reacted quickly, moving away from the explosives.

Techno pulled out his crossbow and fireworks, firing at any one he saw.

she stood in front of him, her shield up, blocking the debris and blasts from them.

once the explosions passed their area, they got to work spawning in a Wither each.

"You want to be a hero, Tommy? THEN DIE LIKE ONE!"

The withers took off, heads flying everywhere.

As she looked around, she met eyes with a few of her 'friends'.

trey all looked at her with betrayal and anger in their eyes, finally connecting the dots as to why she was being distant.

she just smirked back, causing them surprise.

Techno was done speaking, it was her turn.

"You know, I don't know why I wasted all those years on the wrong side, this is fun."

they looked shocked, not expecting the usually soft girl to be so evil.

"Does the medicine taste good? Cause it didn't for me.

Betrayal is a strange feeling, isn't it?"

"Being used doesn't feel nice. But hey, you live you learn, right?"

She stared them down, eyes glazed over with dark clouds.

"Y'know, I'm a strong believer in Karma.

I'd say Karma comes in different ways for everyone, and we never know what shape or way it'll come to us."

"However, I do know how it will come back to you."

The group let her words sink in, trying to fight off the withers roaming around.

"It's by me!" she chirped.

" and I know exactly how I'm going to do it!" she smiled, pearly whites showing.

"I'm going tear you apart from the inside. just. like. you. did. for. me."

After that, everything was a blur.

she doesn't remember much, only coming back to her senses when Techno pulled her to the lake, pulling out his trident, and passing her her own.

they flew away, going to pack their things and run away.

time skip a few days, her and phil quickly became friends, the same with ghostbur.

Her and Techno are settled down in a cabin far away, having everything then needed.

things were finally good.

She had caring friends, and nice home, and left her old life behind.

it was nice.

time passed, l'manburg with a new plan to take down Technoblade.

would that happen? fuck no LMAOO

TECHNOBLADE NEVER DIESSSS!

anyways

Phil was under house arrest, Techno was taken by the butcher army, and she was pissed.

actually, pissed was an understatement.

she was stood behind Phil's chimney, peaking at the scene in front of her.

she wasn't afraid, she knew techno had a totem on him, as did she. (courtesy of sugar daddy dré)

However, that didn't stop her from jumping down and gripping onto Fundy's hair, pulling it back harshly and pressing her sword into his neck.

She wasn't going to kill him, she has morals, but they didn't know that.

while they were distracted with her, Phil tossed Techno a pickaxe.

He got free, pearling away.

Quackity noticed, running after him while yelling. the rest followed, leaving her unattended with Carl. She took Carl, waving at Phil and Ghostbur before riding back home.

Now, when she went down to the basement and noticed a misplaced block in the floor, she didn't think she'd find a human down there.

Especially Tommy.

Then again, that kid is always ending up in weird situations.

she dragged him upstairs, forcing him to stay put till Techno comes back from trading with the villagers.

while waiting, the two bonded over their experiences with manipulation, Tommy apologizing to her for what he did.

She forgave him, not blaming the young one for following in the adults foot steps. He didn't know better.

Boy, Techno did not expect Tommy and her to be laughing when he stepped in, but alas, it is what it is

Time skip the preparations, the day of the festival has come.

The three were sneaking around in invis pots, going over the plan multiple times.

That was, until she witnessed the Community House, or at least what was left of it.

She fell to her knees, the memories flowing through her mind.

It had been there since the beginning, something she helped to build.

kc when things were simple, no fighting, no war, just friends hanging out.

she remembers the nights where the ogs would stay up building it, sleeping in beds pushed up together.

just her, Dream, George, Sapnap, Callahan, Alyssa, and Sam, having fun, building and joking around.

back before the fight, when Her and Dream yelled at each other over something useless.

before she ran off to L'manburg, who hated her for her relationships with the opposing team, but kept her for her things.

Her invis pot ran out, her body appearing.

Techno panicked, trying to get her to drink another, but she told him it was fine, to trust her.

He hesitated, but turned his attention to Tommy. she snuck off, watching as people slow started swarming around.

tears fell down her cheeks.

she looked around, meeting eyes with Bad.

She ran to his open arms, crying into them.

This was the only place that she had happy memories at, before she met Techno.

The only place that kept her sane.

She let go of bad, turning to Callahan, who gave her a small, sad smile and pulled her into a hug.

She looked to the side after a few seconds, meeting eyes with George, who also hugged her.

she felt someone's arms wrap around her, and she turned around, meeting Sapnap's eyes, and leaning into him.

Finally, she turned to Sam, who was staring at the destruction with tears streaming down his face.

The two of them were the most attached to the community house.

She stumbled into his arms, both of them sniffling into their embrace.

They both kept their arms around each other, turing to the scene in front of them. As Tommy and Tubbo started fighting, she knew that's her sign to go back to Techno. she let go of Sam, meeting eyes with her friends, letting them know she'd be back.

she wiped her face, quickly gearing up before jumping down beside Techno. she joined him in splashing tommy with pots.

then things took a turn. suddenly, Dream has the disks, tommy is on Tubbo's side again, and Techno and her are pearling out of a mob.

She was out of it the whole time, the Community House affecting her alot.

she decided then, it's time to take revenge.

It was the day they were going to destroy L'manburg once and for all.

She was prepared, wither skulls and soul sand filled her pockets, stacks of tnt filling chests in the sky, the black structure towering over l'manburg.

She had a smile on her face, letting out all her stress and anger.

as l'manburg went down, she could feel herself feel more alive, more free.

She stood with Phil and Techno on top of the crater that was once l'manburg, laughing gleefully.

It was over.

The thing that caused he the most pain.

now that Karma has come collect it's dept, she can be herself again.

"C'mon, let's go home."

she smiled at Techno and Phil, wanting nothing more than some tea and sweets.

Her job was done.

for now, at least. >:)

[the-hoely-bleach]

So it’s 5am and I haven’t slept yet, not sure if I’m gonna sleep at this point, so I wanted to talk about this post by ruby-whistler because I have Thoughts but didn’t want to derail the original post. (Also keep in mind it’s 5am so this is gonna be very stream-of-consciousness).

Disclaimer- my intention with this post is not to start a fight with ruby-whistler or any other Dream apologist for that matter. Just because we fundamentally disagree doesn’t mean we have to hate each other. I am simply thinking my thoughts and sharing them on the internet

Edit: this has been sitting in my drafts for like week as I debated on whether I should tag ruby-whistler, given my view of c!Dream versus hers. clearly, I’ve decided against it, as I really don’t want to start conflict, but I do want to get my thoughts out there.

[please assume that I am referring to the dsmp characters, not the content creators, unless specified otherwise]

So first off I would like to point out that ruby-whistler and I have very different views on Dream as a character. For the sake of clarity, Ruby is a Dream apologist, and I am not. Frankly it would take quite a lot for me to genuinely believe that Dream is deserving of sympathy, let alone a full redemption arc. That being said, Ruby brought up some interesting points that I’d like to explore.

For those who don’t want to read the original post, Ruby suggested that if Dream were redeemed, it wouldn’t because he suddenly realized he did a bad and was sorry(he knew he was doing a bad the whole time, just didn’t care), but instead had someone systematically disprove his learned toxic behaviors and mindset(ends justify means, attachment=weakness, etc.). Basically prove him wrong. And I actually like this interpretation!

To elaborate on my own feelings toward Dream, I think it would be very difficult, if not impossible, to fully redeem him from a writing standpoint. If not because he doesn’t want to be better, then because no on the server will be willing to help him. Characters like Dream rarely get redeemed because they’ve dug a hole for themselves. They either reached the point of no return, or the people they’ve hurt are(oftentimes justifiably) unwilling to forgive them, so with no support system they fall back into old habits. Sad? Yes. Understandable? Also yes. There’s a reason Dream’s character type almost always suffers from redemption equals death.

(for those who don’t know, redemption equals death is the trope in which a villain is so bad that the only way to somewhat redeem them is to have them die by heroically sacrificing themself. basically there was no way to justify their actions and not enough time for them to heal, but at least you know they’re trying. Examples: Star Wars’ Darth Vader, She-Ra’s Shadow Weaver.

So from a meta perspective, a Dream redemption is highly, highly unlikely. That being said, I do think it’s a bit of an icky mindset to have that certain people simply can’t change for the better. What Ruby mentioned is a smart way to get around this. I won’t be the first to point out that Pandora’s Vault is not exactly the environment for rehabilitation, especially not now. I think Dream is a terrible person, yes, but do I think he deserves to be tortured on a daily basis? No. Do I think he deserves to be kept a box with nothing to do but think and write? Maybe a little as karmic punishment for intentionally designing the place that way, but not forever(probably like a month At Most) All that’s going to do is make a bad person even worse. The way things are going, the most likely  scenario is him breaking out and going on a fucking rampage. So yes, I think Ruby has a point with this whole positive reinforcement idea. Get the few people on the server who are still sympathetic to him to just sit and chat. Not to talk at him and tell him what they think, but just chat. Ease him into the idea that maybe he was wrong. It could possibly work.

At this point I’m going to stop talking about Dream and start on the implications for Tommy because oh boy. Obviously a Dream redemption would affect more people than just Tommy, but I’m mainly invested in his story and I’m also kinda running out of steam here so you get what you get

Now here’s where it gets tricky. In the event that Dream manages a full redemption arc, in which he does his best to right his wrongs and be an actual good person. Not Everyone Is Required To Forgive Him. Tommy, I’m talking about Tommy, do not make Tommy forgive him. (As said above it’d be understandable for a lot of people not to forgive him, but I am talking about Tommy right now)

Not only would this type of thing have terrible real-life implications, it just wouldn’t make sense for Tommy’s character. If Dream, even a fully reformed Dream, walked up to Tommy wanting to rebuild old bridges, even if he genuinely apologized, even if he did everything right, Tommy cannot and should not be expected to trust Dream. His first thought would be that Dream is trying the same shit he did in exile. The fact is, Tommy will have to live with his trauma for the rest of his life, and Dream should have to live with the knowledge that he caused that trauma, that he ruined someone’s life. Just because you’re a better person now doesn’t mean that the people you’ve hurt are magically also doing better.

(This is just a tangent about a potential direction the plot could take and is almost more of a Tommy analysis than anything so if you wanna dip now feel free)

Don’t get me wrong though, I also think it’d be interesting for Tommy to question himself later, if he happens to see enough hard evidence that Dream has changed. After all, this is a real-world dilemma, what do you do when your abusers heal? Abuse victims will often see their abuser bettering themselves and start to feel guilty for still being angry because “look, they’re not abusing me anymore, so I have no reason to still feel this way!” In this situation it could be constructive for the two to sit down and just talk things through. Still, I firmly believe that the best thing for both of them is to go their separate ways. Coexisting is enough in this case.

[queerebrum]

“I’ll see you soon.”  It becomes second nature after a while, that when something starts to go wrong, she calls Scott. It’s just, been that way for as long as she can remember. It was Stiles, and then Stiles was gone and it was her and Scott and Malia holding the line against hunters that wanted them all dead. So, even when she’s on the other end of the country, when something goes wrong, she calls Scott. The first time she forgets the time difference and Scott still answers, it occurs to her how absurd their relationship has become. Scott is three thousand miles away at college and its 5am in California, but Lydia is calling Scott because she has a flat tire and she needed to yell about it. He answers, laughs with her, reminds her that triple A could get to her a lot faster and then tells her to have a good day. They always end the calls with “I’ll see you soon.” It's a wish and a promise because for a while there, it wasn’t always a guarantee. Despite the start, it’s a really phenomenal day.

Lydia gets cornered in a bar one night. She has to knee him in the balls and then leaves. She's not hurt -- she’s fought and won against far scarier creatures than drunk college guys -- but she’s shaken and so naturally, she calls Scott. She can hear noise in the background and realizes he’s probably out himself, but he still answered. He listens to her and tells her how glad he is that she’s okay, and that the guy was a jackass.  He tells her it’s a good thing he wasn’t around or he’d have had worse than a knee to the balls. Lydia laughs, but she believes it. She’s seen what Scott would do to people who hurt his pack. Who hurt the people he loves. Does he love her? Does she love him? It’s hard to tell. All they’ve done for years is run. They spent their formative years running and fighting and now they’re on opposite ends of the country and it’s still Lydia’s first instinct to call him. And Scott always answers.  Jackson loved her, in his own way. He never quite found the words to say it, but he did. Aiden had been temporary. A distraction, a stop gap. Stiles loved her and then he...didn’t anymore. There one day, gone the next. Fun while it lasted but never meant to last.  Allison. God she’s never loved someone as much as she loved Allison. Malia and Kira were amazing, wonderful people, but by the time they came into Lydia’s life, she’d loved and lost too much for it to ever be the same.  Scott lost her too, she remembers. Scott knows what it’s like to love and lose as well. 

Lydia whispers it, quietly, as she hangs up the phone. It’s pointless to whisper to a werewolf, they’re going to hear it either way. She does it anyway. A quiet, “Love you, I’ll see you soon.” 

Her cheeks hurt from smiling when she hears him reply, “Love you too, I’ll see you soon.”

It’s when Scott doesn’t answer that she knows something is very wrong. Scott always answers. Night or day, despite the time difference. It doesn’t matter if Lydia is calling because she definitely just bombed her modern physics exam (which she didn’t , and he reminds her she’s the smartest person he knows), or if it’s to complain about the chip in the manicure she just got done (he laughs and tells her its a good thing she’s not a werewolf), Scott always answers. She’s in a cab to the airport, phone calls into Stiles and Derek and Malia before she can even think. She’s on the next plane to Sacramento with fear racing through her veins.  She will not scream for Scott McCall.  The hunters clearly underestimated Scott’s pack. They underestimated the brilliant human strategist, the full-shifting born werewolf, the fearless, deadly coyote. They definitely underestimated the banshee.  One of them is holding a gun to Scott’s head. Anger bubbles upon Lydia’s chest, its heavy and its intense and she screams before she knows what she’s doing. She’s faster than a bullet.  Everything after that is a haze of blood red flashing guns, but in the end they’re all okay. Derek took one to the arm but the bullet’s already out and he’s healing. Lydia’s sitting on the floor staring at what’s left of the body of the man who’d been holding a gun to Scott’s head. She wraps her arms around her knees and rocks gently.

She looks up when a pair of boots comes into her view, and Scott is staring down at her with those warm, loving brown eyes and he holds out a hand to her. Lydia takes it, lets him pull her up, buries her face into his chest and whispers apology after apology because she knows they try not to kill but she just.... “I can’t lose you,” she cries, her hands shaking where they’re gripped in Scott’s dirty tank. “I won't scream for you.” 

“Hey, hey, shh.” Scott tilts her head up and rubs their cheeks together. His stubble scrapes against her cheek. It’s a wolf thing, the most wolf thing she’s ever seen Scott do, but it quiets a part of her that was prepared for rejection. “You saved my life, Lydia. It’s okay. I don’t even know how you knew to look for me.”  She looks up at him, knows she must look a mess after having not slept in nearly twenty four hours. “You didn’t answer,” She whispers, leaning her forehead against his chin, letting him take the bulk of the weight in her still shaking body. “You always answer.”

She can feel Scott’s face shift into a smile and his hands, latched at her lower back, move apart so he can run his thumbs gently along the knobs of her spine. “What was wrong?” He asked.  His smile is painfully fond when Lydia looks up. Malia and Derek and Stiles are moving around them, working on body disposal and somewhere, Lydia knows, Chris Argent and Peter Hale are on standby to help with the clean up and cover up. Lydia frowns. What had been wrong? Why had she called Scott yesterday? “I...I just missed you,” She answers. “I just...needed to hear your voice.”  Scott doesn’t say anything. Later, Lydia will blame the exhaustion and trauma of the moment and the scent of blood and gunpowder for how long it takes her to put it together. When it all finally clicks that it wasn’t just an obscure need to hear Scott’s voice she drops her head to his shoulder and lets out a dry laugh. “Oh.”

“You saved my life.” Scott repeats, resting his cheek against the top of her hair. “Thank you.”  “I love you.” Lydia whispers, keeping her head on Scott’s shoulder. She loves him. She loves him so much that from across the country she knew something was wrong and rallied the pack to save him. She’s loved him so deeply for so long she’s forgotten what it’s like to not love Scott Mccall.  “I love you too.” He replies, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “I missed you.”  Stiles yells for them to quit being sappy, he’s got an exam he needs to be back in DC for and he certainly didn’t just cause most of the blood splatter.  Lydia smiles and shakes her head but finally breaks away from Scott so he can help Derek and Malia move the bodies out of the room and goes to stand by Stiles. Later, when they’re deciding where to go after they’re done cleaning up, most of them choose to go to a hotel room, but Lydia can’t bring herself to be separated from Scott just yet. When they get to his apartment, both of them blood splattered, dead tired and starving, Scott offers her the shower but she shakes her head. She doesn’t let go of his hand, pulling him with her. Scott’s eyes go momentarily wide but then she starts the shower and steps out of her clothes, watching the way Scott’s eyes roam over her. It’s gratifying in a way that eyes on her haven’t been in a long time. She throws a grin over her shoulder and steps under the spray.  He joins her a moment later, warm hands on her upper arms, another one of those featherlight kisses pressed against her now wet hair. She reaches for his loofa and hands it to him. He goes to work washing away the evidence of what they’ve been through from her skin. It feels different that it’s Scott doing it. It feels like absolution. When he’s done she takes it from him, adds more soap and swaps places with him, watching his face as she runs the loofa over his skin, washing away dirt and grime and sweat and blood. His eyes flicker red occasionally. His arms are resting on her shoulders, stretched out, hands clasped somewhere behind her head.  There’s nothing sexual about it for Lydia, for once. There could be, that much is obvious, but for now it’s about comfort and closeness and the warmth of the water and the way Scott so freely bares his neck for her to clean. It’s the way he runs his hands down her body, like he could break her. He could. He could break her so many ways without leaving a single mark on her skin. She trusts him anyway. She trusts him as he shuts the water off and wraps her in a towel, rubbing his hair down with one before wrapping it around his hips. Lydia brushes out her hair, braids it quickly, Scott leaning against the bathroom door like there’s a gravitational pull keeping him from getting too far from her. She accepts a T-shirt from him, pulling it on along with a pair of his boxers, climbing into bed, laying on her back, watching him pull on a pair of cut off sweatpants. He climbs in next to her, laying on his side beside her, one of his hands cupped under her chin, thumb brushing against her cheek. “Can I--” “Yes.” Lydia breathes. She doesn’t know what he was going to say. It doesn’t really matter. She wouldn’t have denied him anyway. The kiss feels like coming home. 

[iseuls]

hello !! you can call me fe/fee ( 18+, she/her ), and i just woke up from a nap bhcnjdfjv i specifically set an alarm for opening time, smashed that snooze button 10 minutes before, then.... slept through it............. ANYWAY ! this fool is rain and we’re both happy to be here! here’s his profile but the important bits are below the cut. since he’s very new to the island and he’s been too scared busy to explore the islands past his house + workplace (@ leif’s), it’s more than likely he and your muse haven’t met yet, so i would love to throw them together for the first time and see where they go ykwim <3 i have possible starter ideas at the bottom of this page, plus some pre-plots (??? idk did i just make this word up) in case you’d prefer to plot first. if you like this post, i’ll come by to say hi && ask if you have a preference ( and shower u and ur muse with love bc i’m very excited to be here ok bye ) !!

quick bg:

got the nickname “rain” when he got lost during a rainstorm when he was like 5 bc he liked the puddles . has liked the vibe of rainfall but hated thunder since u_u

his names are interchangeable in narration tbh and i’ll use them interchangeably too, though he does consider rain as his “outside” name and iseul as his “home” name, kinda like having Outgoing clothes vs Home clothes if that makes sense ? so usually he introduces himself as rain regardless of what language he’s using & his nametag at work says rain, but people closer to him could probably switch over to iseul and he’d be happy about that <3

his grandparents used to live in eastbell before settling down in the US !! so rain has heard a lot of fairy tales about this place

grew up on a farm in the middle of nowhere, maryland, USA. basically took over running it when he was ~15 due to his grandparents’ declining health

tw death mention // when his grandparents passed away 3 months ago, his parents sold the farm and offered to take him with them on their travels. rain, who had always felt closer to his grandparents, decided to move to eastbell instead

nowww he’s living in a banged up little cottage by the sea on eastbell hoping to fix it up fully someday and feel closer w/ his grandparents !!

personality ???

is basically an open book when it comes to emotions, even when he doesn’t mean to be

per the dom skeleton, he cries ? easily ? especially out of happiness. not that he will ever cry in front of u! unless it’s maybe during a movie! but that doesn’t count!

also scares easily BUT DO NOT MENTION IT TO HIS FACE !

his brain is nothing but soil and wii music .... literally , he just likes video games, gardening, 5am jogs, and helping other people. he’s a few grades of muscle mass away from being a himbo

well-intentioned though i promise ,, rly just trying to hold onto what memories he has left of his grandparents and be someone they would have been proud of ?

late edit: icb i forgot to include What inspired his character in the first place, and that is erin from the office

if u read this far, ily and so does he. if u prefer discord instead just lmk and i will hit u up <3 <3  

[vintagedaydreams]

True Love Never Runs Smoothly Part 3.5

A little teaser chapter to give you guys something to read as I try and wrangle Part 4 into some kind of submission. *sweatdrop* I mean, technically, this could be Part 4, I guess? But…well, 3.5 has such a nice ring to it.

Enjoy!

Warnings: Um…some swear words. I’m horrible, I know. And a little bit of smexy times? But not anything significant. Don’t get your hopes up. 😉

  You felt the bed dip beside you as a soft huff of laughter resounded in your ear. In response, you shoved your face even further into the pillows. No. It was not time to get up yet. You didn’t care what he had to say. NO.

“Come now, (Y/N),” his soft voice murmured in amusement, “surely you’re not going to lay in bed all day?”

You burrowed further into the pillows, resulting in a low rumbling laugh.

“Some of us,” you said groggily, voice muffled by the mound of cotton and feathers you had your head buried in, (if the man on your bed hadn’t been a vampire, he wouldn’t have heard you at all), “actually have to sleep as part of our daily plan of not dying. You don’t want me to die, right?”

“No,” came the amused response, “I don’t want you to die.”

“Then I should be sleeping.”

“I think the ten hours you’ve already slept probably counts as the sleeping you have to achieve for your daily plan of not dying.”

When you didn’t say anything in response, but didn’t make any move to get up either, another amused huff of laughter was your only warning before you suddenly felt the weight on the bed shift and then there was a large, cold body draped intimately over yours. Had he been alive, you would have felt his heart beat thudding where his chest met your back.

For a moment, time stood still. You had tensed slightly, not quite expecting that, and he had responded to your signal, stilling all movement until you said otherwise.

After a moment, your entire body just melted beneath him. You felt nothing but peace and safety. You trusted him.

The vampire on top of you hummed in approval, the sound traveling through you to settle warmly in your chest.

A zing of arousal shot down your spine as his hands slid slowly down your arms to wrap his fingers around yours and chilled breath ghosted along your neck.

“If you really want to stay in bed, (Y/N), then you can. Provided I can join you.”

The shiver than ran through your body had nothing to do with his body temperature.

“I’ve haven’t yet had a chance to show you how much you mean to me,” he continued, placing a soft kiss on the back of your neck.

You murmured something into the pillows, you weren’t even sure what you’d said, but he seemed to take it as encouragement, shifting slightly to allow more of his body to line up with and cover yours.

You gave a low sigh, feeling nothing but pure bliss as the weight of him pressed you down further into the soft bed beneath you.

A sudden nip to the side of your neck forced a gasp from your mouth.

But the tongue dancing along your throat that followed…that made an embarrassing moan squeeze out past your defenses and had you trying to hide your face deeper into the pillows.

“Don’t hide from me, Love,” was breathed directly into your ear as cold hands slowly moved up and down your forearms. “I want to hear all of your pretty sounds.”

A cross between a moan and whine this time escaped and you blushed at the chuckle that reverberated from his chest into you.

“I promise, (Y/N), you shall never want for love with me. I will spend every moment of every day showing you how much I love you, if that is what it takes for you to believe in me. In us.”

You gave a soft whine into the pillows – to be loved was all you had been looking for! – and you suddenly felt the overwhelming need to face him, this vampire, who was promising all that. To look into his eyes and see that he was telling the truth, that you would receive what you had been craving. And from him.

You turned over, feeling cold hands slide down to your waist to help you, but before you could even focus on the man above you, cold lips were pressing gently yet firmly on yours.

You were being kissed as if you were the most precious thing in the world, as if nothing was more important to him than to prove to you that he loved you.

Your own hands reached up to tangle in thick hair and you felt yourself quiver as his hands left your waist to travel slowly, sensuously up your sides.

“Mine!” he growled possessively as his hands reached your chest.

 With a loud gasp, you shot up in bed, suddenly wide awake. Your heart pounding, you glanced frantically about your room.

No vampire.

You were alone.

With a loud groan, you flopped gracelessly back down onto the bed in your room in Volterra, pressing the heels of your hands into your eyes so hard you saw stars.

What the actual hell was that?!

This Bond Mate thing was really screwing with your brain. You hadn’t really ever thought it before, too busy with feeling like a homewrecker and a horrible human being, but you were now wishing that Bella had never invited you over to meet the family.

You really did not need this kind of stress.

And now your subconscious was creating dreams to make you feel loved. Even your own brain thought you were pathetic.

Huffing, you sat back up in bed. Well, you were too antsy to go back to sleep now – who knew what you would dream up next?

A quick glance at a small digital clock showed it was just past 5am.

Great. You’d slept for ages, once again. Apparently, judging by the fact you were still in the clothes from yesterday, you’d fallen asleep shortly after your decision to meet with the Queens.

Right.

Your newfound plan to show Carlisle what he was missing.

Well, if he was half as nice as he was in your dream, you could’ve already…oh shit. Your eyes widened.

Had it even been Carlisle in your dream?

Thinking back over the dream that was rapidly fading in your mind, you frowned. The vampire didn’t have a face. You never saw who it was, only knew that you felt safe and secure, (and aroused), with him.

His voice was familiar, yes. But you couldn’t recall exactly what he sounded like. Identifying his voice hadn’t been a priority of yours in your dream. Apparently, you’d already known who he was.

It could have been Carlisle. He was your Bond Mate, after all. It would make sense that you would want to have that kind of relationship with him. That’s all you had been wanting for weeks now. It would make you feel...complete.

But it also could have been Marcus. Athenodora was a very good story teller; the picture she painted for you about what your life would look like with Marcus as your mate was very compelling. And that had been the last thing you’d talked about before you’d fallen asleep.

Maybe your subconscious was trying to help you out. Trying to help you know which one to choose, which path to take.

…But you never saw the vampire’s face!

You groaned again, flopping back down in utter defeat.

Who did you piss off in a previous life to deserve this?

[mcrmadness]

Oh look, an anxiety attack, hadn't had one in a while... yay

It's the health anxiety again. I random, small itchy spot just popped up to my wrist out of nowhere and now I cannot go to shower and I don't know if I dare to go to sleep even. It's almost 5:30am and I have a meeting tomorrow (today) after 1pm.

I'm still in the middle of a panic attack, I'm terrified of allergy despite not being allergic to anything. I get these skin things sometimes but usually never due to anything specific. In fact I suspect that it's just my skin being very sensitive and reacting easily to things like a hair or fur or even a corner of a piece of paper pressing against my skin for a little too long. Sometimes I get these on my neck when my necklace is touching my skin a certain way (e.g. when I'm trying to sleep and don't realize the pointy part is against my skin), sometimes I get these just from my clothes and I try to think it's probably a cat fur or my own hair that's just in a position that it is sticking against my skin.

It's just. Right now I am in the alert mode. All my body hair is sticking up and I can feel my blood circulating all around in my skin, ready to fight or flee. I'm just checking out every single sensation I get in case it's not just one spot but more would appear. My skin feels itchy from everywhere. I am so, so exhausted but I am too afraid to go to sleep until I calm down enough.

Some days, life with an anxiety disorder is so exhausting. It's moments like these that feel like a reality check. Feeling like I was doing just fine and having my anxiety under control, and then there is one second like this and I feel like I'm a fool for even thinking about my future because I have anxiety. One second like this can trigger a panic attack and depending on the time of the day (usually they happen at nights because everyone's asleep and I wouldn't want to bother e.g. my parents at 5am), it can just. Mess up with everything. Cause me to fuck up my sleeping schedule because I am too afraid to sleep, so then I sleep only like 2 hours or none at all, or if I have no plans, then I'll go to sleep when I have calmed down enough and it can be anything from 6am to 1pm.

Moments like these always reminds me of how I can't have a job. I mean, what is even worse than having these panic attacks? To not be able to sleep because you are too afraid to sleep no matter how exhausted you would be, and then still having to get up in time to go to work and be there, totally exhausted, as that will also create even more anxiety because of how overwhelming everything feels when you haven't slept enough. Anxiety attacks also drain so much energy that all you want to do afterwards is sleep. Skip any plans and just sleep and rest. It's another reason why I am afraid of having to start a "real job" one day because I don't know if I can manage that. I might be doing alright most of the time and then I have just one random physical sensation and my whole world falls apart because I think I'm dying and wanna know what caused that sensation but am too afraid to try again in case it's something dangerous.

Tomorrow the meeting is with the occupational therapist. For the past few meetings we have been talking about studying and working and browsing all kinds of schools and study opportunities and have been trying to figure out what would interest and also suit me. I also mentioned that I have been thinking about if there would be anything in Germany next year that I could do for like 2-3 months before the summer so I wouldn't have to wonder where to live during that 2-3 weeks between the concerts. Maybe this panic attack is partially of that too. I just feel so exhausted because the autumn and seasonal depression (seasonal affective disorder) is approaching, I would not be on the mood for any shit like that tomorrow but I know the time will run out soon and it'd be easier to do that now than in e.g. February. Plan stuff, I mean. I don't need to do anything yet, just go through options and plan things. But you know, I just would not have that energy now.

I've been having derealization and depersonalization moments lately too. Mainly because I have been wondering my future and every time I do that, I just am hit with the reality and start to dissociate. Because it's just... so difficult to understand how big the world is. How there are other countries outside of mine. How things are happening. My small die ärzte bubble at home is so safe. Everything outside that bubble is scary. I am afraid of mental breakdowns. What would I do if I was all alone in a new country and had a mental breakdown? I could not call my mom if I can go to their place at night. There would be a few thousands of kilometers too many between the places.

I have friends in Germany, but I still don't know what would I do or where would I go. Berlin has been a dream for over 10 years but I keep being told it's impossible to find a flat from there. I don't think any of my friends live in Berlin, either. Nor that close to Berlin. So I would be all alone in a city where I don't even have friends. And all my German friends live all around the country and I just... don't think there is any point in choosing a city just because a friend lives in the city. There is no point running after friends who also have other plans and goals. I very likely would just be left alone in their town, too, if I did that and they found a future from somewhere else and moved on.

It's just. I don't know. The loneliness is awful and one of the biggest reasons for why I have been thinking about Germany is that I might find more like-minded people from there, and of course to be closer to where everything dä is happening as I could even walk to a store and find and buy an album or maybe a poster, or just a magazine with interviews. Something that never happens in my city nor even country. Still I just always have this feeling like I would have doomed to be "forever alone" - me being aroace and not looking for any kind of (romantic) partnership doesn't help much either, just creates even bigger gap between me and those who are looking for a partner and eventually will find one. I dream that I would be less lonely in Germany and that it would be the solution to all of my problems, but at the same time I'm afraid that I would be as lonely there as I am here. I guess it's partially also my own fault because I never go anywhere, but in Finland I can't much because people are so introverted that every social interaction often happens when people are surrounded by alcohol and I don't drink alcohol. Already in junior high I felt that I had no social life because everyone else's social life was revolving around alcohol and I had no desire to take a part to any of that.

Well, at least I now feel a little better after venting. Not having that much anxiety anymore, but still being a bit confused as always. Feeling like wasting my time and being too old for anything. I need friends of my age but I still feel like I was 18 and see younger people and think they are friend material and then realize they're literally 10 years younger and we do think differently. I have seen it so many times, but I just constantly forget that people in their early 20s are still so young that we're basically from different worlds at this point.

I'll continue watching youtube videos. A little bit of escapism before I decide if I am brave enough to either shower or sleep. 5-6 hours until I have to wake up.

[searchin-for-an-urchin]

Like the First Snowfall of the Season Aaron Burr x Reader Chapter 13

Tags: @fangirlandnerd @ milena-millennium @fangirl570@studysafeplace @bees-are-more-important @i-know-i-can @imjustaworldoffandom 

Chapter 1 Chapter 2  Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9  Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12

Masterlist

W/C 3.2k

A/N -This is purely fluff. Really, the rest of the series is going to be purely fluff because I personally cannot handle much angst. I also accidentally posted this to my main at first... woops.

      Thanksgiving passes well. Your parents texted you when they landed safely back home, and once again said how much they adored Aaron, saying that you picked well and that they were excited for Aaron and Theodosia to come to Christmas to meet the rest of the family. It warmed your heart. Work picked up for you again in December with all the tourists coming to NYC, but it was to be expected as it does every year. Even with the uptick though, you and Nathaniel still met up as planned, this time carving out an entire afternoon to meet up with him.

“I think I’m ready to meet Charlotte”, is what he blurts out when you first sit down at the coffee shop. You were grateful you had set down the mug of hot chocolate before he said anything as it would have slipped out in shock. The shock reflected on your face but Nathaniel continued.

    “I would like to be a part of her life. I’m not asking for custody or anything, and I’ll sign anything you would like me to, but I want to meet her.” He could sense your hesitance, but Nathaniel tries to be as reassuring as he can. “I know this is a weird situation, but she’s my kid and I would like to meet her.” It’s hard to dismiss the sincerity in his eyes, so you sigh.

    “Let me talk to her, okay? I’ll ask Aaron what he thinks about the paperwork, too. Thanks for the offer about that, by the way.” Nathaniel nods, clearly relieved that you’re thinking about this rather than completely shutting him down. The rest of the day was fairly uneventful as you thought about how to bring this up to Aaron and Charlotte.

    You don’t give yourself a chance to talk your way out of bringing Aaron in the loop. Leaving your meeting with Nathaniel, you immediately head towards Washington and Sons, planning on catching Aaron as he gets ready to leave to get Theodosia. You shot him a text as you travelled the couple of blocks to his office and by the time you arrive, tea in hand for your boyfriend, his face is tinged pink because of the cold wind.

    “Thank you, my love,” He says, greeting you and accepting his drink from you. He leans down and kisses your cheek, warming you up inside.

    “Anytime,” is how you reply. He reaches out a gloved hand to intertwine his fingers with yours and you begin to walk towards the school to reach your daughters.

    “Hey Aaron?”

    “Yes, Y/N?”

    “Remember how I met with Nathaniel again today?” The only way you could tell that your boyfriend was uneasy about this conversation was the slight pressure change in his grip of your palm, but otherwise he was indifferent when he answered with a nod. “Well,” you continue, “He’s decided he wants to meet Charlotte, which of course I’m going to ask her first, but he mentioned that he’s not trying to get custody or anything and would be willing to sign papers that say that, so I guess I’m asking what you as a lawyer think I should do.” Aaron takes a moment to think about how to respond.

    “Honestly,” he begins, slightly unsure tone in his voice as his thoughts reason out his words, “I don’t think you should make him sign anything right away. Give him a meeting or two with her if she agrees, and then meet up with him again and discuss your options.” You nod, mulling over his words, his legal advice. He adds, “Family law isn’t my expertise, but my gut feeling as a father says to wait a little bit before bringing in the lawyer.”

    “Okay,” you voice. “That’s what I’ll do then.” You turn to face him, squeeze his hand a little and say, “I appreciate your advice.”

    “Anytime, Y/N.”

    The two of you arrive hand in hand at the school. Cara, the secretary, as well as the teachers have become accustomed to the two of you together. In fact, a couple teachers have come up to you directly to comment that they thought you worked well as a couple. Everytime ended up with a flushed face and a sincere “thank you”, because honestly, you and Aaron thought you worked pretty well together, too. Charlotte and Theodosia were waiting together, both bundled up in coats and gloves, happily chatting away with each other. It really does warm your heart to think about how far the two have come. When the girls see you, they both wave at their teacher and start running towards you, slowing down just in time to embrace your legs without knocking anyone over.

    “Can we have a movie night tonight?” They both ask at the same time, clearly have rehearsed it beforehand. Aaron gives you a glance, silently reading your face before answering,

    “After homework is finished, I don’t see why not.”

    The girls excitedly react to the opportunity to hang out on a school night, and you smile at their happiness. After deciding on the Spongebob Movie, which neither you nor Aaron are surprised by the choice, the girls begin to talk one by one about their day. It’s always great to see Charlotte animatedly discussing anything, but it’s even better to see her interacting with the same enthusiasm she’s shown to you and your family, with other people. It crosses your mind that once you and Charlotte move in with the Burrs, that moments like these will occur more often.

    You and Aaron decide that movie night would be best at the Burr household this time. With a kiss on the cheek from Aaron and a kiss given to the crown of each of the girls’ heads, you split up and run back home to pack up an overnight bag for you and Charlotte. When you arrive at the apartment, packing up the essentials goes quickly, and you make a mental note that you should probably start packing up some point for the move. You’ll need to tell the girls soon, but it hasn’t come up yet. Also, you haven’t decided when you wanted to tell them. Should you wait and have it be a surprise for Christmas? Do you tell them now so they know packing’s going to be a chore? And on top of all of that there’s Nathaniel and how he fits into the mix. Sighing deeply, you decide telling Charlotte tomorrow is the best idea regarding Nathaniel. She can decide if she wants to meet him. A quick text is sent to Nathaniel to tell him that’s what you’ll do, and he responds with a “Sounds good!”, which lets you breathe out another sigh, this one not so heavy.

    After packing up a quick overnight bag, you take another look at the apartment. It’s exciting to think in a little less than a month that you won’t be living here anymore.

    Movie night, of course, was a hit for your girls. Rather than falling asleep on various furniture like they did the first time they slept over together, Theodosia actually pulled out a Spongebob kid’s tent big enough for the two of them. They actually watched the movie from the zipper opening, having stuffed it full of pillows, blankets, and various toys. Credits rolled after the movie, and both girls were fast asleep. Before shutting the movie down and heading to bed yourselves, you snap a picture of the two and send it to Aaron, Peggy, John, and your parents in separate messages. Aaron places a kiss on your temple and the two of you are off to bed.

    At 5am you’re both woken by your alarms, silencing them quickly as to not wake the girls, but to also spend some quiet time together. It’s sweet, really, being wrapped up in Aaron’s warm embrace, wearing one of his Columbia Law sweatshirts that you make a mental note to pack it up with your other clothes. After about 15 minutes the two of you get out of bed and shower, getting ready for the day. A quick glance to your phone shows a picture from Peggy, who was opening the cafe today. The picture is of the front of the cafe, covered in snow. The sidewalk was unwalkable and it didn’t even look as if the door could be open.

    Previously, in a situation like this, you would panic about the possibility of not being open. Now, as the cafe has started to turn decent profits, you’re not as worried. You dial your should-be sister-in-law/best friend’s number and wait for the phone to ring.

    “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” is how she greets you. Aaron, standing beside you in the bathroom (he has a double mirror/double sink counter in his primary bathroom - how amazing is that?), brushing his teeth, raises an eyebrow at you on your phone at 5:45am.

    “I think it would be safer if we don’t open today.”

    “Oh thank God, you were thinking the same thing. I’ll make a sign and update the phone and social media,” she replies.

    “I’ll message all the employees. I think we could definitely use the discretionary funds so everyone gets their wages today,” you respond, wiping the gunk out of your eyes, watching your reflection in the mirror.

    “Fantastic. Do you and Charlotte have plans today?”

    “Uh, hold on.” You move the phone away from your mouth and ask Aaron, “Do you know if it’s a snow day for the girls? The cafe is covered, so I can’t imagine school will be open.

    “Give me one moment and I’ll grab my phone to check,” Aaron states, leaving the bathroom. This gives Peggy a chance to interrogate you, asking,

    “Are you with Aaron right now?”

    “Yeah, the girls wanted a movie night so Charlotte and I stayed over last night.” Speaking of Aaron, he comes back and informs you that there is, indeed, a snow day for the girls. You repeat this to Peggy and add, “Maybe we can get a head start on our holiday bucket list. I’ll let you know and if we do anything big besides play outside, you and John would be welcome to join us.”

    You and Peggy say your goodbyes and you put your attention back on your boyfriend, who is leaning against the doorway to the bathroom, scrolling through his emails. He’s wearing a maroon robe over his clean undershirt and boxers and white slippers that are surprisingly in pristine condition. You’ve changed into your outfit of the day, which was just slacks and a button down blouse for work. Aaron’s gaze connects back to yours and he informs you work was cancelled for him too.

    “Can you tell me about your holiday bucket list?” This question makes you light up and you explain the tradition you and Charlotte have. Every year at the beginning of December you and your daughter come up with a list of 25 things you want to do before the end of January. Initially the idea was to have it done by Christmas, but you and Charlotte agreed that it was not a feasible option for your schedules. Throughout the explanation and examples you were sharing with Aaron, a smile has appeared on his face. He’s watching your animated expressions and he’s thinking to himself, it’s amazing that he found you.

    You and Aaron stayed in the bedroom watching the news and talking out your timeline for moving in. It was decided that you’ll tell the girls at Christmas, which was finally agreed upon after coming up with a plan on how to move things without Charlotte realizing things were dwindling or Theodosia noticing the empty rooms were not so empty anymore. You even managed to talk to your parents in this time who insisted on buying Charlotte a whole new bedroom set, one that incidentally matches the one Theodosia has in her room, and asked if you could have her and Theodosia pick out new bedding for part of their Christmas presents (another yearly tradition, you explain) and mentioned that you and Aaron should send which set you want, too. Aaron chuckles and pokes your cheek that is now flushed by the implication. He thanks your parents and adds that he’s looking forward to not being in the city for the holidays.

    The phone call ends, and you’re back to staring at your boyfriend. Before he can ask what you think that you should collectively give your parents, you’ve placed a hand on the back of Aaron’s neck and pulled him down to connect his mouth to yours. He makes a surprised noise which becomes muffled by your connected lips. He deepens the kiss for a few more moments and you pull back, smile on your face, and you admit,

    “I really love you, Aaron.”

    “I really love you, too.”

          Eventually the girls wake up around 9am, making their way into the bedroom where you were now watching cartoons and lazily making out. On the bright side, their shuffling feet were loud enough for you to hear and separate before they entered the room. After being told that it was a snow day and there would be no school, they both wordlessly crawled into the bed with you, Charlotte going for Aaron’s lap and Theodosia going for yours. It was apparent that this morning would not be productive, which, looking at the gorgeous girl whose arms are wrapped around you right now, and your daughter in a similar position but with the man you love, this was what you wanted. You grab your phone and get Aaron’s attention, indicating you were going to take a photo of this. It seems Aaron was equally as surprised and warmed by the turn of events, as you were also expecting Charlotte to want to cuddle with you, but this was perfect, too.          

    After another hour, the girls began to wake up. Theodosia looked a little confused when she realized she was cuddling with you and not her dad, but after a moment of consideration, her arms squeezed you tighter rather than loosening her hold. In turn, you squeeze her tighter and you both giggle quietly.

    “Do y’all want pancakes or waffles for brunch?” You ask after making sure everyone was at least awake enough to answer the question. Waffles was the clear winner, and Aaron started the prep on them while you helped the girls get ready for the day. The girls spent some time choosing outfits as Theo kindly offered her clothes up for Charlie, explaining that a lazy day entails a different style than a school day. They complimented your change of clothes too. You had changed back into your leggings that you sleep in and Aaron had handed you another one of his shirts for you to wear (“I know you’re planning on stealing that sweatshirt, but here’s another one you can wear today”) Outfits were picked and the girls went through their morning routines, allowing you a chance to go to the kitchen and help with the breakfast.

    The kitchen was amazing. It was almost as good as the kitchen in your cafe which was the result of your meticulous research, budgeting, and design. Aaron also looked like he knew his way around it, which was almost as attractive as the fact that he was wearing a long-sleeved shirt from one of the school fundraisers and sweatpants under a plain apron. Your boyfriend had finished mixing the batter and was getting eggs ready as the waffle iron and skillet were both heating up. He had also pulled out some fruit that he had leftover and some yogurt that was a couple days from expiring. You dug around and found some granola in a lower cupboard, feeling eyes on your butt, wiggling around a little bit more than necessary to tease Aaron. You make immediate eye contact when you bend back up, shaking the granola to get his attention, giving him a knowing smirk, which he returned. Together, you make a brunch spread worthy of the Canary Cafe, applauding Aaron’s talent in the kitchen. The girls chat animatedly to each other, and to you and Aaron, and before you know it, Charlotte is trying to get your attention specifically.

    “Hey Mom?”

    “Hmm?” you respond, mouth full of your parfait.

    “Can we include Mr. Aaron and Theo in our bucket list this year?” You swallow your food as Theo’s attention goes to you, Aaron pretending like he’s not completely interested in this either.

    “Hey, I was gonna ask you the same question today! Sure, I think it would be fun to have all four of us do it.”

          “Can we make the bucket list today?”

    “Sure, Charlie.”

    After your daughter explains the bucket list to Theodosia, both girls are extremely excited. It becomes clear that the bucket list needed to be compiled before anything else got done. So you got to work and compiled the list below.

Play in the snow (”We can do that today!”)

Go sledding

Sleigh ride

Rockefeller Center

Family photos with the four of us

Family photos with cousins

Play date with John and Peggy

Hot chocolate at the cafe

Present shopping

Decorate!

Take down decorations (“We have to put this on the list or the decorations stay up until Easter”)

Make a snow family

Snow angels

Wrap presents and send them to SC before the 10th (“I have five siblings and ten nieces and nephews, not to mention John, Peggy, my parents, Charlotte, and the two of you, it’s too many presents to take with us on the plane ride”.)

Bake cookies

Watch holiday episodes of cartoons

Make stockings

Slumber party with John and Peggy (“Ooh, we could do that while you and Ms. Y/N go to your holiday party!)

Holiday party at the Cafe

Karaoke (“We do karaoke instead of caroling because Mom has a bad voice” “Excuse you!”)

Matching sweaters

Fireplace dinner (“Theo and Mr. Aaron have a fireplace so we can do this!)

Pictures with Santa (“Let’s not wait until last minute again, this year, Mom” “Why is my kid revealing all of my secrets?”)

Grinch movie marathon (“Wait, HOW MANY Grinch movies are there?!?”

Dessert for dinner

__________

    The snow stopped coming down about 2pm, giving all of you a chance to relax before bundling up to head to the park. You knew the girls weren’t going to last too long in the snow, but you were able to knock out playing in the snow, making a snow family, and making snow angels from the list. Aaron pulled out a digital camera for the little adventure which proved to be a good decision as your phone died about halfway through. Aaron made sure to put the camera back inside his coat so it didn’t get too cold and damage it. It was a good thing too, because not soon after, you send a snowball his way, smacking him square in the shoulder. He takes a moment, gaining the attention of your daughters, as he over-exaggerates his “pain” and “betrayal”, making the girls giggle, and your smile grow wider. Within an instant, though, he’s gathered up a snowball and thrown it with fantastic aim at you. A family snowball fight wasn’t on the list, but it was a very fun experience in the first snowfall of the season.

[sadaboutniall]

something about you;

introduction | masterlist | tag | wattpad

Ten. April, 2010.

Niall’s having a bad morning. 

It’s 9am and he hasn’t done anything yet, which is the problem. He hasn’t touched any of his homework for the day, hasn’t studied for his maths exam this afternoon, still hasn’t managed to scrape together enough cash to buy the French textbook he so desperately needs, and hasn’t even begun thinking about his end of term project for Irish history. If he gets one more D coach will sit him out of football until he gets his marks up and, on top of it all, he feels like he hasn’t slept in days. He’s most creative late at night, he finds, and his songwriting is starting to take precedence over everything else. If he’s up until 5am writing most nights, it’s for the best. At least that’s what he tells himself. 

Still, it doesn’t feel like it’s for the best at 9am when he’s leaning up against Mully’s locker, running on three hours’ sleep and two Red Bulls. He feels nauseous with exhaustion and anxiety over having to face teachers all day, having to explain why he’s got nothing to hand in and nothing useful to say in class discussion. Mully won’t shut up about Easter holidays, either—he wants to go see The Script in Dublin and Niall has no idea how to tell him that he can’t even afford a fucking French textbook right now, let alone a ticket to see The Script at Croker. 

He’s just about to walk away, tell Mully he needs a wee or something, anything, to get him out of the conversation and get him to a place where he can close his eyes, when Mully stops mid-sentence to say something else. It’s a tone of voice Niall would recognize anywhere. 

‘Hey, Boynie! Where’s Mia?’ A smile stretches across Mully’s face as he looks over Niall’s shoulder, waving. When Niall turns around he smiles too and, for a second, he feels his exhaustion dissipating. It’s hard to imagine there could ever be a better sight than Isla walking toward him, even when everything else has gone to shit. 

‘I just got here. Haven’t seen her yet,’ Isla sounds a little out of breath as she reaches them, immediately leaning in to Niall for a kiss. She smells sweet, strawberries and coconut and the familiar scent of her fresh laundry, and Niall cups her face to drag the kiss out for a second longer, to keep her close. He waits for Mully to say ‘ew’ before he pulls away, giving Isla a private wink as he does. 

‘Have you two read the paper this morning?’ Isla asks, and, for the first time in his life, Niall looks at her like she’s crazy. Across from him, Mully does the same. 

‘Why the fuck would we have done that?’ Mully asks. Niall almost tells him off for his tone, but Isla’s talking again before he gets the chance. 

‘It is good for you to keep up with current affairs, you know, Sean. Anyway, my da left it out on the kitchen table this morning, and I saw it while I was packing my rucksack,’ she reaches into her bag to fish out a copy of The Irish Times, folded over to the right page. ‘Look, Niall.’

Together, he and Mully lean over the paper. 

It takes Niall’s tired eyes a little longer than it should to focus, but his heartbeat immediately picks up once they do. Isla’s circled the bit she wants him to see but he would’ve spotted it from a mile off, anyway, the headline: THE X FACTOR TO HOST FIRST-EVER IRISH AUDITIONS AT CROKE PARK THIS MONTH.

‘Sick,’ says Mully, while Niall is still reeling. ‘Do you think we’ll see Katy Perry in town?’

‘Niall,’ Isla ignores Mully, reaching out to touch Niall’s arm. ‘You should audition.’

‘Oh my God, yeah,’ Mully catches on, eyes blowing wide. ‘You totally should, mate. That would be sick.’

‘I dunno…’ Niall’s too tired to think about this, too exhausted to unpack every possibility. His head is all over the place and he tries to focus on Isla, on her hand on his bicep, her eyes on his own. 

‘I read the whole thing,’ she’s saying, because of course she did. She has all the information, all the answers, everything Niall needs, because that’s what Isla does. That’s who Isla is. She glanced at the newspaper on the kitchen table this morning and read a headline and she thought about Niall first thing, because that’s the kind of person she is. She picked up the newspaper, read the whole stupid article, circled the bits she wanted Niall to look at, and packed it safely in her bag for him, because that’s the kind of person she is. And when she got here this morning she came straight to Niall to tell him, instead of meeting up with Emilia like she does most mornings, because that’s the kind of person Isla is. She’s more than Niall will ever deserve. ‘It says you have to have three songs prepared for the judges. You’re so brilliant, Niall, and if you pick three songs now you have two whole weeks to practice them until they’re totally perfect.’

‘You should do Wonderwall,’ says Mully. Isla’s still ignoring him. 

‘Isla,’ Niall cards a hand through his hair, anxiety bubbling over in his stomach. ‘There’ll be a million people auditioning for this.’

‘Make it a million and one, then,’ she says. She touches his elbow and tugs gently, until Niall drops his hand to grab hers. ‘I really think you should give it a go. What’s the worst that could happen?’

‘Famous last words, them.’

‘Sean,’ Isla turns around quickly, ‘can you go bother someone else?’

‘This is my locker, actually, Boyne.’

‘Fuck’s sake,’ Isla turns back to Niall, rolling her eyes, biting back a smile, and Niall feels one growing on his face too. He feels like he’s waking up—to the day, and to Isla’s idea. Worst case scenario, they tell him no, and no one ever has to know it happened. But the best case scenario? Niall thinks about concerts at Croke Park, about Isla by his side as they walk a red carpet. Suddenly, his stomach swoops over itself in excitement and he can’t even think about it, can’t let himself get carried away. 

But he can’t not try, either. 

####

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[a-wanderin-whirlybird]

A Day in the Life: Mornings

A Family Mob AU fic.

The day began at 4am that morning, with Michael blinking into the dim light of a waking Los Santos. He didn't even need to move from bed to know that someone was already up. Michael sighed.

Gavin glared out the window, his eyes trained on the newly rented apartment across the street. Green light smeared on the glass, pouring from Gavin's eyes and the thin membrane on his back fluttered irritably. 

"Yo Gav what the fuck, Go to sleep." A high pitched unearthly shriek ripped through the penthouse as a ghostly version of Michael floated in front of Gavin. He turned around to see Michael walking over with a sleepy sour look.

It was too early for any kind of grooming. Michael had left his spines out, poking through his specially made pjs they were usually hidden under his heavy leather jacket. Gavin could even see the third eye, its lashes twitching as Michael worked to keep it closed at this early hour.

"Christ Micool not this early!" Gavin hissed, his eyes torn away from the window. Michael rolled his eyes, all three, and scoffed.

"Yeah but you haven't slept again." Michael hissed and Gavin pouted. 

"They didn't either! I don't trust it." Gavin turned back to the window, eyes trained back on the faint light peeking through the curtains across the street.

"You heard Matt, they're students. Of fucking course they dont sleep." Michael said grabbing Gavin by the shoulders. Gavin squawked as Michael lifted him up and began to walk away.

"But I gotta keep watch Micool."

"Well I'm up now you can get some sleep and I'll watch." Gavin grumbled as Michael slipped him down on his own bed and fell asleep instantly. His membrane wrapped around him, covering the Brit in a cocoon of glittering gold. 

Michael quietly left the room and moved out to the living room to wait out the rest of the night.

By 6 Ryan, Geoff and Fiona were up and with Michael. Geoff had floated in around 430 with a yawn and a light whine. Geoff was rarely able to make full words before 5 am so no one who saw him before then expected any.

Ryan and Fiona came in next one after the other at 5am. Ryan teleported in right to the fridge to grab a diet coke. Meanwhile Fiona shuffled in leaving a small trail of sea water behind her as she went straight for the coffee maker.  Together the four crew members all silently sat together as the rose rose.

By 501 Geoff was talking.

"Gavin was up?" He asked.

"Yeah, dumbass was staring down the new neighbors again. They need to get some fucking sleep." Michael confirmed. There was a swish and a heavy bat riddled with glowing green nails thumped on the coffee table.

"Fiona and I could put them to sleep." Ryan offered as Fiona chugged another cup of coffee and twirled the bat.

"Not yet you two. It's too fucking early for that." Geoff  groaned running a pale tattooed hand down his face. 

"It's never too early for a bit of a scare." Ryan joked with a small smile. His purple eye glowed and moved separately of his other more human eye. It almost looked hungry as it turned towards the window. Michael growled as he shoved Ryan who laughed as he crashed lightly into Fiona.

"More like a murder!" Michael shouted. Fiona gurgled angrily as she reached over Ryan and shoved Michael. Geoff closed his eyes and sighed, not that anyone could tell with how much he squinted.

"Alright you three stop that. You'll wake the whole city." Geoff scolded them.

"Or just us." Jack said, padding in with Matt and Lindsay at his heels. Mat grumbled, his little wings fluttering as he rose into the air and shot off to the coffee maker. Fiona yelped, clutching her coffee and shielding it from Matt's dash. Lindsay yawned and shook yellow dust from her hair as it sprang to life and cackled with heat turning a soft orange.

"Sorry guys." Ryan apologized sheepishly, sipping from a cube of diet coke, as Lindsay flopped down across the four others on the couch. There was a resounding oof from the others as Jack shook their head black, green mossy scales shining in the sunrise.

"Jeremy, Alfredo and Gav still asleep?" Jack asked shuffling over to the open loveseat as Matt hovered with a cup of coffee nearby.

"Jeremy and Alfredo still, Gav just fell asleep." Geoff explained as Jack groaned.

"Again? Do we need to sleep on him again?" Jack asked as Fiona snorted.

"He'd love that." Fiona said wiggling her eyebrows and Lindsay snorted. 

"We could make sure someone is in the position to make him feel loved." Lindsay joked. "I'm sure Michael wouldn't mind."

Michael went to reply but Geoff interrupted. 

"Alright assholes leave it. I doubt blowing the guy would help much. It's the students across the street. They aren't sleeping." Geoff explained Jack nodded.

"Right. Bastard cant sleep if someone is awake nearby." Matt said, moving back to the kitchen and grabbing a bag of chips.

"Its 6 am and you're grabbing doritos?" Fiona asked.

"Fuck off at least I'm eating." Matt said around a mouthful of doritos. 

"Its finals week right? They should sleep regularly soon I doubt we have to worry." Ryan pointed out, his purple eye swirling around. Fiona winced as it sped over her.

"Ryan for fucks sake I feel like you're eye is going to eat something." Fiona said shoving a pillow in Ryan's face. "Get an eye patch."

"Stop staring at it Fiona!" Ryan said, covering his eyes with his hands and flinging his cube of Diet coke across the room.

"Oh for fucks sake. Kids lay off it's too early." Jack scolded and Michael had enough and shoved Lindsay onto the floor. "Let's get some food."

By 8am breakfast was made and the smell lured Jeremy from his room and into the kitchen. 

"Well look whose here. Morning sleeping beauty." Michael teased as he stepped in front of the shorter man. Jeremy stopped in front of Michael who held up a cup of coffee. Silently the half awake man opened his mouth, revealing rows of black sharp teeth. Michael silently poured the semi warm liquid down Jeremy's throat until the cup was empty. 

As you do.

"Hey get over here and eat before it gets too cold." Ryan insisted beckoning Jeremy over. Jeremy sat down, his black skeletal hands hovering over the table but not touching. Ryan smirked the eye patch he was wearing was bright green with a little daisy on it that shone in the sunlight. "Open up and players line up to take a shot."

Jeremy opened his mouth and, as most mornings the others all lined up and started throwing food at Jeremy. It had become a tradition, rather than either waiting for Jeremy to wake up or letting him rot the food the moment he touched it, the others started tossing his breakfast at him to catch. It worked, and made for a great game every morning.

After several shots of bacon from Jack and one very messy egg from Lindsay, Geoff lined up some potatoes and sent the spuds flying towards Jeremy. Only for the spuds to splat on Jeremy's face. 

"Fuck! It's in my eyes! Geoff the fuck?!" Jeremy shouted as the potatoes began to turn black and disintegrate. Geoff roared with laughter, his laughter pitching up into a high whistling wheeze and a little puff of smoke escaped from his mouth. Jeremy sneered as he scooped up Ryan's eggs, earning and indignant "Hey!" From Rayn, and hurled them at Geoff.

There was a satisfying splat as the eggs collided with Geoff's face. And from there breakfast devolved.

Alfredo entered the kitchen all his arms stretching and eight eyes blinking at the sunlight then blinking away bacon grease as a plate of bacon slapped him in the face. Alfredo sighed, swiping the bacon from his face and stuffing it into his mouth.

Welp. When in rome.

By 10am the food fight has ended, the kitchen cleaned up and the Crew has begun to move on to business. Those who could fly did, taking to the air of the penthouse to leave room closer to the floor for others. 

Fiona was down in the private gym with Alfredo, the Drowned and Cave Spider sparred and talked crowd control for the up coming heist.

Ryan and Jeremy were in the armory with michael running inventory and cleaning weapons. The Enderman, Wither and Guardian chatting calmly about possible explosives and points of entry.

Lindsay, Geoff and Jack were in the command center, running through Plans and blueprints. The Blaze, Ghast and Creeper chose targets and contingency plans. 

Gavin finally woke up by noon. The Phantom stretched his Membrane and yawned, joining the planning team by 1230. The day would continue from there, plans would be laid and prep work would be finished.but the morning would gave already slipped by in a nice haze of well earned laziness.

[mxrcayong]

the avatar series: 01.03

masterlist.

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chapter three

A crowd surrounded her. She was in the ring and the walls were caving in. The spotlight shone down on her; all eyes were on her. They were all expecting something from her - something she cannot give them; greatness. She felt herself getting smaller and smaller – or maybe the stage was sinking lower and lower. Most likely, both. The audience was growing bigger, overpowering her. She’s disappointed them. It was her duty to protect them - but she only hurt them, she only disappointed them.

At the announcer’s desk sat her closest friends; Doyoung, Sonan, Kilara, and Johnny. Behind them were her other friends; Lucas, Roddie, and Taeil amongst others including Sehun, Kyungsoo, and Hendery. They all were standing up, looking down at her. All of them screaming and yelling and insulting – using words against her all at different times. The words were like ammunition, shooting at her constantly. Her head hurt, her heart was wounded, her hope disappeared, her purpose never fulfilled. 

They were angry. Infuriated. Full of rage.

She could see them seething between their growls and their yells, telling her she’s a failure. Telling her she never deserved to be the Avatar. Telling her she failed not only them but her purpose and humankind.

The stage got smaller and smaller; she was trapped. There were no exits as the walls were millimeters away from her. Her breath got caught in her throat, she couldn’t breathe. She looked at the ground as she soon fell to her kneels, staring at the cold cement floor beneath her. The only thing preventing her from falling to her death. 

“Where is everything we taught you?” An angry voice called from in front of her, “You are right. You fail at your powers. You fail at everything.” The voice taunted, full of venom. Tari looked up, and saw Sukiara and The Osaka Prince in front of her – the Osaka Prince bending lightning whips and remaining silent. “He should’ve been the Avatar, not someone as pathetic and weak as you.” Sukiara seethed.

As The Osaka Prince whipped the lightning rope towards Tari, she saw the Avatars before her in the Avatar State. They were supposed to be helping in the Avatar State; they have the ability to protect her, to protect the Avatar. They have the ability to transfer their powers, their knowledge. The Avatar State is where she’s the most powerful, but she had never felt more weak.

They’re letting me die, Tari realized as the previous Avatars stared at her hopelessly, letting her get repeatedly whipped and attacked by the man who should be the Avatar. She could only feel the static sensation that made her shake, that made her shiver, that made her wince in pain. “I’m sorry,” Tari croaked, trying to apologize to the world around her but her voice failed her. “I’m sorry for failing you, I’m sorry, I’m sorry for messing up.” The final vision she saw was the distant image of her family; her older brother, her younger sister she’s only heard about, and her two parents ; none of them she’s seen since she’s been taken away from her parent’s custody. 

With one final lash, she was greeted by darkness, but she could still hear the blaring alarms and the voice echoed throughout a megaphone. “This is a police raid! Everyone here will be arrested for supporting the Avatar and for bending!”

“You okay?” She heard a soft voice chuckle, calling her out of her slumber. Wait, where am I? She wondered as she knew for sure she wasn’t in her own room. Once her vision readjusted from their sleepy haze, Tari looked around and realised she was in her living room - her head using Johnny’s thigh as a pillow on her couch. Johnny was still on his laptop - the only light illuminating the dark room as he continued to type and write his article for submission to the editors later. Continuing to look around, she noticed Doyoung had fallen asleep on one of the beanbags - his soft snores echoing throughout the room, bouncing off each wall. The sight made Tari aw - Doyoung sleeping was always the sweetest. He always looks calm, even when he’s one of the most secretly chaotic people she knows - but when he sleeps, it looks like theres nothing in the world that can hurt him. And it’s my duty to make sure nothing will, Tari’s thoughts reminded her. Everrything has been reminding her of the stupid Ava-“You were shaking and whimpering.” He commented. Despite his friendly and soft voice with a teasing edge, she could see the serious concern in his eyes.

Or it could be disappointment, she sighed, looking into his brown orbs and seeing their somewhat distressed nature. “Yeah, yeah, just a dream.” She couldn’t talk to him about it, she couldn’t. He wouldn’t be her friend anymore. She’d hate to disappoint him. Tari readjusted so she’d now be sitting up, getting off of Johnny’s lap and throwing her arms up into the air to stretch and yawn.  

CRACK, Her elbows cracked, making her eyes widen and Johnny to put his hand over his mouth to prevent himself from laughing and waking up Doyoung. “How long have you been awake for?” She softly whispered, crossing her legs and turning to face Johnny. Her head fell into the palm of her hand as she looked at Johnny, waiting for his answer.

“Haven’t slept yet.” Johnny commented nonchalantly, “I want to get this article done for the online deadline for tomorrow.” At the mention of sleep, he yawned. “I shouldn’t be having any workr tomorrow so guess whose gonna turn up here at midnight because he slept the whole day?” He said in a hushed fake excited voice. “Hey, though, can you look at this?” The journalist scrolled through his document, showing Tari the beautiful photographs full of life taking over the pages and the thousands of words portraying the story. He looked excited about this article – probably the most excited Tari has seen him be in a while, and that means a lot as he was always quite excitable. He’s one of the most positive people she knows. 

Tari leaned closer – her eyes still hazy with sleep – and she read the text out loud through hushed whispers, hesitant to wake up Doyoung. “’The Avatar Day festival is a celebratory day initially to remember and commemorate the heroic actions of Aang and Team Avatar. However, within the last few years, it’s become a celebration for the existence of Avatar; from Wan to Aang, no previous Avatar or their companions can be forgotten’” Tari read, before grinning. ‘This is an amazing introduction, Johnny.” Johnny gleamed with pride.

“Wait, look at this bit.” He scrolled towards the end, “Do you think it’s too strong or provocative? I want to make it umph but not too offensive, you know?” He showed a paragraph where he practically called on the Avatar to speak up against the government if they ‘refuse to do their rightful duty, the 100 year war may repeat itself but instead of the fire nation, it’s the non-bending government’. 

A heavy weight seemed to fall on Tari’s heart. Could I really do something to help? She questioned herself, watching Johnny smile with pride at his article. Could I really do something to reduce the suffering of my fellow benders? Of my peers? She knew this issue was beating up Johnny, but she never saw herself as capable of influencing it. Thinking about it, she realizes all her friends talk about doing things – Johnny was the only one actually doing it.

“So,” Johnny called Tari out of her trance, “what do you think?”

Tari bit back her feelings and forced a smile, “It’s great. When does the editor read through it?” She had a feeling it was good. She knew what he was going for and if she was anyone else but the person he was targeting, she knew she would feel inspired or angry and support his cause. 

“This afternoon.” He gleamed, pressing save on the document. “I have a few more details and photos to add, but otherwise – it’s done and the editor’s job to fix it.”

Tari yawned – partly fake and partly not. She was tired, but she wasn’t tired enough to leave Johnny and Doyoung yet. She just couldn’t be sitting next to someone she know she’s only disappointing every second she refuses to speak up. Her guilt was eating away at her. “I have to get to work tomorrow afternoon. I’m lucky Hendery is doing the 5am shift.” She let out an awkward chuckle, “I’m going to sleep…it’s 2 in the morning?” She said more as a question as she searched around the room for any hint of the time, eventually letting her eyes set on Johnny’s laptop clock. 

“Alright,” Johnny smiled softly up at Tari as she stood from her place.

“Good night” she called as she got into her room, her head peeking out the door as she noticed Johnny about to respond.

“Goodnight, Tar.” Johnny wished, looking up from his computer and up at her. “I’ll make sure Doyoung gets into bed okay. Sweet dreams.”

Tari was about to shut the door, but made sure to quickly remind him where the blankets and pillows for the sofa bed is since Doyoung and her moved it a month ago from its usual spot to another spot in the apartment.

As she fell back onto bed, she couldn’t fall asleep. The only thought running through her head; how will I ever be good enough?

One benefit of working in a café is definitely the fact that the bitter and earthy smell of coffee beans really can wake someone up. Even if that someone slept for a maximum of three hours the night prior.

The café had a cozy vibe. Either music was playing in the background or the soft hum of the TV, plants took over the walls (thanks to the owners being earth benders, these plants were low maintenance) and the floor was full of beanbags and the coziest chairs you can imagine. Today, the soft hum of the news was on – replaying videos from Avatar Day and discussions of current events.

“I know you let me off early yesterday,” Hendery stifled a chuckle as Tari rushed behind the counter to put on her apron – greeting some patrons on her way to the back, “but I don’t think that excuses you for not sleeping last night.”

Tari rolled her eyes and smiled, “Sorry I can’t be a model like you, pretty boy.” She teased, reaching behind her back to tie her apron. “But for real, is it that obvious?”

Her co-worker shrugged, “I mean, it’s mainly that we’ve worked together for how many years now?” He asked rhetorically. “And because I’m assuming you chugged that weird caffeinated tea you drink to wake you up because you’re also faster and jittery than usual. You’re usually like a turtle-sloth.” Tari dropped her jaw in fake offense, before scanning the patrons – noticing most of them already having their drinks.

Hendery and Tari work together most of the time – they’re the two main workers for Iroh and Me. It’s a small local café which is most known for its bubble tea, but it’s still a family café and not necessarily in the center of town – just a bit south of it. So, they really only need two to three workers. They work mostly together but only one of them takes up the morning shift, which is usually Tari, and then the both of them do the afternoon, and then someone – usually Hendery – closes at 11pm. Today, since Tari tapped Hendery out early yesterday, they swapped roles.

“How did you find Avatar Day then?” Tari inquired as the two of them leaned back on the counters to wait for a table to clean or a new customer to greet. 

Hendery smiled at the mention – “I met with my older sisters and Yangyang and his sister,”

“Yangyang is the animal-racecar dude right?” She clarified, remembering the name from previous stories of his. 

“Yeah, and we had a picnic and just did our usual festivities.” Hendery gleamed. Tari knew he was an avid celebrator of the event, but her focus on of him and his usual festivities quickly changed - what are his opinions on the Avatar? She looked at him inquisitively, making him turn to her and mimic her expression. “What?”

“What do you think of the Avatar?”

“Like the concept or the person?”

“Both, I guess.” She shrugged, biting her lip and trying to hide her anxiety for his question.

He let out a sigh, “To be completely honest, I don’t think there is a current Avatar right now.” He shrugged. The statement itself made Tari unclear about how she should react. “I kind of think it’s just a past story. Like, I have no doubt they existed – but like I feel like it’s an extinct animal or...” He snapped, finding the words to saa “kind of like the fire lord’s power.” Tari looked at him – confused. “Like, the Fire Lord – she exists and the family is very important, like Prince Jaehyun is one of the best fire benders in the world.” Obviously, he hasn’t seen the Osaka Prince, she chortled – her insecurity eating her up inside. She’s beginning to think her insecurity is manifesting into hate for the fire bender. “But they’re power isn’t as strong as it is before, their importance is less. Why do we need a protector anyway right now? It’s not like there’s a war going on.”

Tari had all the answers to that question; she was raised learning them and frankly, Sukiara reminded her of some of the answers the night prior. Hendery’s interest soon turned to her concentrated and preoccupied reaction to his response. “Why? What do you think?”

She quickly dodged the question, thanking whatever is up there that a patron stood up and left the café - leaving their table full of empty plates. “Thank you, have a great day!” She called after them in her customer-service voice before grabbing the cleaning rag and tray from the shelves in the counter. “I’ll get this one.” She winked, sneaking out from behind the counter. 

On her way there, she recognized the married couple who always takes a long time to drink their beverages; Mrs Kim Tae-hee and Mr Jung Ji-hoon. She knows them quite well and know they always joke about trying ‘to finish their drinks hot’ but they never do. The two of them always spend an hour seated at the café once every few weeks and just spending time together. Tari bit her lip and did her usual thing to anyone like them; anyone who takes long to finish their drink, making it cold.

“Hey! Haven’t seen you guys in a while.” She smiled, reaching in her apron to grab spare tissues. “How are you guys? Let me give you guys some extra tissues.” One thing Tari learnt in customer service is that very rarely do people deny more napkins.

Ji-hoon smiled, taking his wife’s hand and rubbing it with his thumb from across the table. “Great, Tae-hee just got a promotion at work so this is our first time having a ton of time together in a while.” Tari smiled; she wanted a relationship like theirs. They could be sitting here for hours but just be happy with each other’s presence. Its as if the world doesn’t matter as long as they’re together. She lifted Tae-hee’s Americano and slipped a tissue to be underneath it. While holding the mug full of now-cold coffee up, she concentrated on her fire bending – only bending enough to warm up the coffee. She repeated this process with Ji-hoon’s drink as Tae-hee spoke about being named one of the best stage performers in the performance theater.

“But Ji-hoon also started his own business!” Tae-hee smiled proudly, both of them looking at each other as if the other had all the universe in their eyes. “Todays have been our first off day in months.”

Tari smiled, “Well, let me get you guys two slices of cake as a celebration. On me.” She offered, “Any flavor preferences?” While Tae-hee politely declined, saying it’s too kind – Ji-Hoon requested two flavors; red velvet and chocolate (which he clarified was for Taehee). Tari knew Tae-hee was just being shy, she was shy to order a second drink the first time the couple came in and saw a new barista. “I’ll be back in a minute, let me clean up after someone.”

As she was walking back behind the counter; the tray full of dirty cups in hand, she heard the door chime. She spotted a regular she actually befriended when the same patron spilled a cup of coffee on herself and Tari lent her one of her extra shirts,. It was Tari’s rule to always bring an extra shirt, because she knows the pain of a coffee stain. “Hey Roddie,” Tari sang, grinning at the familiar face.

“Hey Tari,” Roddie sung back, grinning as well. “I would give you a hug but your hands look full right now.” The university student turned behind her, “By the way, these are my classmates ; Chenle, Jeno, and Jaemin. Guys, this is the best barista around.” The three boys behind her waved, smiling wildly.

Her introduction caused Hendery to call out from behind the counter. “Offensive! Guess who won’t take your order today.”

“I recommend you redact that statement; I’m doing something else right now.” Tari leaned, almost like a whisper – despite being at least a meter apart. “Anyways, I know the truth.” Tari winked teasingly, before rushing behind the counter and putting the dirty dishes in the sink for her to clean once she gives the couple a piece of cake each and pay for it using her employee’s account.

Roddie smiled with her whole face and spoke in a staged manner, “BUT HENDERY IS TRULY THE BEST!”. She and her group of friends approached the counter, ready to order their drinks.

Eventually, an hour has passed and Hendery and Tari were back leaning against the counter – coming up with life stories for the few patrons they don’t know well once they ran out of current debate topics or life updates. Afterall, they do see each other every day. As they were two of the four faces that represent the café, they basically know every patron’s name – only do they know a few life stories.

“Tari!” She heard Roddie call from her seat in the back. Her hair was now in a messy bun; a few strands hanging out as she and her group mates sat on a table full of notebooks and their laptops, the three of them obviously studying together.

“What’s up?” Tari asked, rubbing her hands on the front of her apron as she approached, before she slipped her hands into the pockets. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah, I just wanted to ask you something.” The barista raised her eyebrows, indicating her to continue. “What is your opinion, as a bender, on the bending bans?”

Two friends of her’s look insulted, as if Roddie forgot to ask them. “Uhm,” She chuckled, “I mean I don’t use my powers regularly or publicly so like, it’s not a big thing for me. I just hope it doesn’t escalate. But, as long as I can bend at home, I’m good.”

“What do you bend?” One of her friends ask, leaning forward.

I can bend all four elements, and you? She said sarcastically in her head. “I can bend water.”

“Oh, no way!” The one with the vibrant blue hair exclaimed as he pointed at the taller boy with black hair, “Us too. Which tribe are you from?”  

To be honest, Tari always forgets the name of her village. She was moved from there when she was 4, she has minimal memories. “Uhm, somewhere really small in the Northern Water Tribe. I think it’s referred to as Karagatan?”

The one with blue hair bit his lip, “Well, I always knew one of the most beautiful towns calls for the most beautiful ladies.” Tari got flustered but hid it behind furrowed eyebrows and hiding her laughter. So he must be a flirty person.

“Jaemin and I are from the center.” The one with black hair rolled his eyes at his friends antics, “Please excuse him, he’s always flirty.” At that, Tari laughed. “I’m Jeno by the way.”

Roddie groaned and dropped her head onto the table, “I don’t get why our politics class is making us learn about these bans and why they’re wrong rather than letting us actually protest and make a change.” She pulled her head up from the table and looked at Tari with the saddest expression she could muster.

The boy – who out of the process of elimination is Chenle seemed to be reasonable. “Noona,” So he’s younger than her, “It’s teaching us both the goods and bads.”

“Yeah, but the ban is so unreasonable!” Roddie was known for her very strong opinions. She’s locally famous for always protesting and calling out the mayor – who conveniently is her father - for his ‘biased’ and ‘unfair laws’. “When I went home the other day to visit my mom, I overheard my dad say something about increasing the ban or making it stronger. I think he’s even banning bending from Avatar Day for next year.” Roddie dropped her jaw, “Avatar Day!” She stressed, “Literally the day we celebrate bending.” Tari’s heart felt like it dropped. Yeah, sure – she doesn’t use her bending much publicly, but it’s still a part of her. She grew up with it. She’s already hiding 3/4s of herself - does she need to hide her whole self?

“Ugh, speak of the devil.” Roddie groaned once more, looking up at the TV and noticing her father is being interviewed on screen. “Can we change the channel?” Tari nodded, expressionless as she tried to figure out how she was feeling about this. Conflicted, but Johnny was right. It is only getting worse. Could she be the one to stop it from getting worse? How can she?

“You think we won’t learn about this in class?” Jaemin asked rhetorically.

“Rather hear it from Mr Nam’s mouth than a rat’s.” Roddie retorted.

Thoughts and inner debates ran through her head as she made her way to the counter where the remote was.

“Benders are proving to be increasingly dangerous to our safety,” Roddie’s father said on the TV, “They are born with something that distinguishes them as more powerful and-“ As much as she wanted to listen in, she turned it off and replaced the ambience noise with calm music. She can’t think of this. She has to ignore it.

But can she? Was Johnny right again about it being her responsibility? Or will she make it worse? Afterall, with his logic – she’s the most dangerous one of them all. She can bend with four different elements with extra powers like energy bending and the Avatar State. What good can she do if she was locked up?

The café at night was much more different than during the day. The hum of the music filled the café, echoing off the walls. The café was now closed but Tari remained inside, cleaning up anything to make things easier for Hendery to take over for tomorrow. He’d be doing morning shifts until Sunday (when the café closes at 7pm) so that Tari can get her usual sleep schedule for her usual 6am call to work. She was waiting for Doyoung. The few times she would have night shift, Doyoung would always come pick her up.

His schedule at the training gym happens from 12pm to 6pm, and then he goes to dinner with his friends and co-workers, and then he goes to the temple for a few hours to volunteer or do some extra work. So, coming to the café to pick up Tari seemed to be a natural event, especially as he walks past it on his way to the train station for his way home.

Tari pulled out her phone, sitting in one of the booths and texted Johnny, knowing Doyoung was already on his way.

tari: did you see the news today?

Johnny was always quick at responding – even when on missions. At least, with her and Doyoung he is – potentially because he stays at their place a lot, potentially because they call themselves ‘gaang’, something Johnny came up with due to Katara, Sokka, and Aang being the original peas in a pod and Tari heavily refused to be called ‘Team Avatar’.

leach: I went to the press conference – so so so annoying, mayor called it last minute, i wasn’t suppoosed to be working today! glad i went tho, he’s such a dick honestly…think he’s going insane. Can I come over?

Tari chuckled; this is the first time he asked to come over. But she doesn’t know if she want’s to say yes. Whenever she thinks of Johnny now, she thinks of what he believes in.

tari: ask doyoung haha still in the café. First time you asked in a year or so, I’m surprised.

leach: firstly – I asked bc I was outside ur apartment and neither of u were here and I mightve left my copy of the keys in ur place and also bc u seemed upset w me this afternoon

leach: u usually say goodbye  you just left in a rush

leach: im waiting for ur response but im rn in the corner shop nearby. do u want me to buy a ice frostie + dimsum?

She’s upset, but she can’t tell him why. But, she’s also upset that Johnny knows her weaknesses.

tari: I WAS LATE

leach: NO U WERE NOT I KNOW UR SCHEDULE

tari: stalker

leach: *someone who cares abt u a lot

tari: *** stalker

Suddenly, as her phone dinged in her hand, she heard the door chime. She stood up, grabbing her stuff and laughing as she was about to tell a story. “Doyoung, Johnny is a-“

“Not Doyoung, guess again.” She looked up and saw Sukiara again. Sukiara’s deep blue eyes haunted her; her jet black hair with a few stray gray strands running like a waterfall down her back. “I need to talk to you and you cannot keep running away from me.” With that, Sukiara iced the doors behind her. This is the first time Sukiara ever used her bending skills against Tari – she knew Sukiara was serious.

As much as she hated Sukiara with every fibre of her being, Sukiara was also her guardian – the one who protects her and watches over her. As much as she hated Sukiara, Sukiara was practically her mom.

“What?” Tari gave up and fell back onto her chair, dropping her stuff onto the floor.

“You need to train more. Not just once a month anymore.” Sukiara sighed in defeat, falling to the chairr in front of Tari. 

Tari let her head fall back. “I came to Sooman to experience a somewhat normal life. To not have the world lay on my shoulders. There’s nothing I can do right now, and even so, if I mind my own business and not call myself out - maybe the best will happen. Plus! I’m not good enough to be the Avatar, Kiara. And the people here don’t need me. If I show myself, the mayor might kill me.”

“You will never have a normal life.” Sukiara almost growled, leaning forward across the table. “You are not able to live your life for yourself. Your life isn’t yours. It isn’t your families or your friends. It’s the worlds. You are the Avatar and your purpose is to protect the world and mankind.”

Tari stood up from her seat, “From what, Kiara? From what?” She sighed, “If I show my powers, how likely is it that the mayor puts me in jail or kills me?” The realization struck her, “To be fair, if he kills me, you might get a better Avatar than me next time.” She chuckled sadly.

“Shut up.” Sukiara growled as she jumped to her feet - matching Tari in height. “Listen, there’s bigger things than the mayor. If you leave now, if you do anything dumb now, you’re just proving yourself right and showing that you weren’t good enough. Train more. Admit your identity. Admit to who you are and stop running away from it, because you’re only doing more damage.”

Before Tari could respond, Sukiara seemed to glide out of there. As her hand touched the handle and dissipated the ice into steam, Tari saw Doyoung approaching the café. Sukiara, having watched Tari occasionally, recognised her roommates face and left the door open, smirking. She could reveal me to him now, Tari thought as she interpreted the cocky look on her face as she approached her roommate, and then I’ll lose him forever.

Doyoung bowed his head gently and thanked her before coming in. Sukiara, as she was walking out, looked back and turned to look at Tari, “You know how to contact me.” She let go of the handle and disappeared into the night. 

“Who’s that?” Doyoung asked, eyes furrowed in confusion.

“Nobody.” She sighed, hopeless and full of dread. Doyoung’s eyebrows furrowed more – he can read her easily, he knows she wasn’t nobdoy. Tari shook her head, faked a smile and looked up. She grabbed her stuff and stood up. “No one, just a health and safety person checking for hygiene. She thinks I didn’t do the dishes well and she’s going to tell the bosses” She lied, “Has Johnny texted you about how dumb he is?”

request anything for future parts / penny for your thoughts here

[davidbuddbg]

Chapter 6: What if it’s worth it?

Taking my car wasn’t an option. The bodyguards could probably track it from a distance with some sort of device. I went in to the garage, on the minus 2 floor of the building. I pressed on a button of the car key in my hand and the lights of a Porsche 911 turned on. In my souvenirs, the car was less red, but after all, it had been a while since I’d last driven my dad’s car.

I couldn’t use my phone for guidance since the police had confiscated it. That meant I had to put my open laptop on the driver’s seat and I hoped I would come across no Police officers, especially, you know, because of the gun inside my bag.

I didn’t put in the exact address into the Nav, but rather a parking lot about two miles away. I backed away carefully from the parking spot, knowing father would kill me if I scratched his baby.

Now on the road, I began to remember why I loved this car so much. The very sound of the engine made you feel free and it was as if you could forget everything else. The drive went by smoothly and the Porsche swept through the highway. Still, I couldn’t shake the feeling I was doing something dishonest, naughty even. Should I have told David? I began to worry, but then realized it was too late: I was almost there and had no phone.

I parked the car on the parking lot which was almost empty if not for the overfilled dumpsters clustered around the fences. I took my handbag from the driver’s seat and placed my laptop inside, also making sure I still had the gun.

I was weary and shaky as I walked on the wet asphalt, hoping I had correctly memorized the way. The streetlights were scarce and I could hear the echo of my own steps, somehow exuberating my uneasiness.

When I was less than a mile away from the given address, the echo distorted, resonating differently. I took a turn I didn’t need and noticed there was someone walking behind me. “Fuck,” I cursed internally, feeling rather helpless in the middle of nowhere with no phone. I turned another turn, into a smaller alley this time and the shadow followed me in.

I stopped in my tracks, appearing as if I was searching for something inside my bad so I could confirm the suspicions. Just when I was about to think I had been imagining things, an arm encircled my neck from behind, strangling me. I knew it!

Now on overdrive, I instinctively kicked the man behind me in the crotch area before freeing myself from his hold in the short seconds of confusion that followed my kick. I immediately grabbed the gun from my bag and pointed it at him, the safety off and my shaky finger on the trigger. It was just a kid, I noticed. Sixteen or seventeen, maybe. The black-haired teenager was looking at me with fright, his hands up in the air as he pleaded for me not to shoot.

My hand was trembling. I couldn’t shoot someone at point blank, even as exhausted as I was. “Just leave me alone and go home,” I shouted, shaking my head. The teenager immediately complied, leaving me alone. I took a few seconds to calm down before I started running too, to the address in the email.

I arrived at the house. It wasn’t difficult to find since there weren’t that many on that street. While it wasn’t exactly in ruins, it did seem as if no one had taken care of it in a long while. I let out a long breath and squared my shoulders before walking up the stairs to the porch. Just as I was about to knock, a bald man dressed in a suit opened the door.

“Miss Guinness, come on in,” he greeted me. His voice seemed neutral, neither happy nor displeased at seeing me. I followed him inside and noticed the wallpaper was coming off in bits and the wooden floor cracked too much for it to be safe.

The bald man led me to a large room, and there she was! Julia Montague sitting down on a chair, looking all banged up, as if she’d gone through hell and back. She managed a smile at my sight, moving as much of her face as she possible could through the severe burns.

“Alma,” she spoke, her voice so weak it became close to a whisper. “I’m happy to see you made it out just fine.” Julia tried sitting upright, but she could barely move, at least not without help.

“What happened?” I blurted out, my eyebrows furrowed. How was she even alive?!

“After the explosion, as I was brought to the hospital, I met with Anne Sampson,” Julia explained before coughing heavily. “She and rest of the high placed staff at the New Scotland Yard thought playing dead was the only way for me to make it out alive.”

Julia gave me more details, but it didn’t make sense in my head. “David and I are suspects!” I shouted, full of accusation. Maybe she was safe now, but she’d definitely left a mess behind herself.

“I know you didn’t plant the bomb, Alma,” Julia said softly, as if that would reassure me. “That’s why I called you here.”

“You’re right Julia, I didn’t do it,” I spat out, crossing my arms in front of my chest. “Neither did Dave but he’s now under investigation!”

Julia sighed, and I was envious at how she managed to stay calm in such times but I wasn’t about to cut her some slack. “Alma, I know you love him,” she declared straightforward as if it was a universal truth. “That doesn’t mean he can be trusted.” I cocked an eyebrow at her, before leaning back against the sofa. “Alma, don’t tell me he never behaved suspiciously?” She said leadingly, but it was almost as she was daring me to defy her statement. And I had zero tolerance for dares.

“No, he never did behave suspiciously.” I affirmed with authority though I was lying through my teeth. She most likely knew it but didn’t say anything.

Speaking lower again, Julia asked me to keep the tablet hidden. She couldn’t trust Sampson’s people with it and for some reason I couldn’t quite grasp, she thought I could be trusted.

“Alright, it’s getting late,” Julia deadpanned, making me look at the clock. It was after 5am and if you concentrated enough, you could distinguish the birds chirping outside. “So, let me tell you the real reason I called you here.”

Julia needed me to pursue my internship. No, she needed me to spy on Mike Travis, who was acting at the interim Home Secretary. She didn’t trust him, and I had no option but to accept this, this mission. She handed me an old red Nokia. “The text messages you sent through this phone can’t be traced,” she explained.

I left the house around 6am and the neighbourhood did seem a lot less gloomy and daunt in daylight. I made my way back to the car, feeling confused, betrayed, angry… So many things at the same time, I believed my head would explode at any given second but somehow it didn’t. She did give me an idea though, and I stopped at an electronics store in the outskirts of London to buy two cell phones before heading back to my parents’ flat.

----

The elevator arrived on the seventh floor, and I stepped out walking to the front door. The bodyguard on duty seemed surprised to see me.

“Miss, I thought you were inside,” he stuttered, looking at the closed door and then at myself again.

“Well, I’m kind of a magician,” I chirruped rather irritated before letting myself in as the man remained outside, looking puzzled.

Once inside I called for David but I didn’t get a reply. I walked to my bedroom, or rather to our bedroom but he wasn’t there and the bed was made up. I searched the entire apartment, becoming more aggravated each time I didn’t find him. Sighing in defeat, I opened the front door again.

“Hey, did you see David?” I wondered lightly, not wanting to show any more emotion to a stranger.

“He left a couple of hours ago,” the light-haired man replied, short and sweet as he continued standing straight.

“And you let him?!” I blurted out, almost screaming as I realized I had no means of contacting Dave since he had no phone.

“Miss, our duty is towards you, not him,” he explained and I felt so much anger rush inside me that I could either knock his head unto the wall or the shut the door with so much strength, I’d wake the entire floor. Rationally, I took the second option even though the first one was more appealing.

Inside the flat, it took me a while to calm down and start breathing normally again. I didn’t know what was going on with me. I was now sobbing, my back sliding down against the wall of the bedroom until my butt hit the floor.

This wasn’t me, I thought drily. I didn’t cry, I didn’t raise my voice, I didn’t panic. Those were emotions which has absolutely no logical or rational purpose and I was a rational person. Crying wouldn’t make the pain go away, screaming wouldn’t make the situation stop and panicking wouldn’t prevent events from happening. And yet, I couldn’t stop myself from feeling any of those emotions.

I wiped the ears away from my cheeks with the back of my hand and tried steadying my breath. “You’re alright, Alma,” I whispered softly to myself. “You’re just exhausted, you haven’t slept in a few days,” I continued, breathing in and out slowly. I almost managed to convince myself of that but there was a feeling at the back of my mind that I couldn’t shake. Something was wrong, I just couldn’t pinpoint what.

I took a quick shower and changed into clean clothes, misleading myself into thinking this made everything okay. I hid my laptop and gun again, before leaving the flat and meeting the fair-haired bodyguard again. “Can you drive me to the Homeland Security HQ?”

They drove with me to work but because of Britain’s exclusive jurisdiction on security matters inside the building, they couldn’t follow me in. Somehow, I still had the clearance with allowed me to get to the main floor, just like Julia had promised.

Once there, I immediately rushed to the reception desk. “Hey Susan,” I chirruped, making the middle-aged woman look up at me. “Is there any way I could speak with Mike Travis?”

Susan replied that he wasn’t taking any visitors today but that she would ask nonetheless.

“He’s waiting for you,” she informed me, holding the door to Julia’s previous office open for me.

“Sir Travis,” I greeted him as I approached his silhouette to shake his hand. Somehow, I had never liked him and I was rather sure the feeling was mutual. He indicated for me to take a seat and so I did.

“Miss Guinness,” Mike Travis spoke and I could finally pinpoint exactly what about him made me so distrustful: His voice sound just like Wormtail’s from the Harry Potter movies. “I didn’t think you’d want to continue your internship after all that’s happened.” So, Travis did want to get rid of me.

“Oh, well,” I chuckled falsely. “You know how us Brits do it: Keep calm and carry on.”

He didn’t seem convinced by my act, not in the least but he had no official or legal grounds to terminate my internship. Especially since he knew who my uncle was. Instead, he assigned me to boring legal duty with the rest of the legal advisors. Great.

I did witness how he held a security meeting, with Stephen Hunter-Dunn and Anne Sampson, among others, but I had no way of joining them. The day seemed to draw on. The work was of the most boring kind and most of all, I was worried about Dave. The only positive thing was that in the legal advice service, your day ended at five. And when the clock hit five o’clock I was more than ready to leave.

I rushed into the car downstairs. “Home?” The oldest bodyguard inquired as he turned on the engine.

“No, take me here instead.” I forwarded him a piece of paper in which Dave’s address had been scribbled. I didn’t want to be clingy, to chase after him but he had no phone and I was worried. After more than twenty minutes, the car stopped in front of a line of grey, monotone, identical houses. I had never been here but we were at the right address, so this had to be it.

I exited the car and the men followed me around the block until I found the correct house number. I knocked on the door but there was no answer. Then I found the doorbell and decided to ring it, but no one came to open the door.

“Miss, are you sure you gave us the correct address?” The bodyguard asked kindly, seeming rather worried about my panicked state but his concern only managed to anger me further. I tried to look through the blinds but the house seemed empty. He was probably with Vicky, I tried to convince myself but I couldn’t shake off the feeling that something was wrong.

“Will do you do me a favour?” I asked the light-haired one again as I crutched down next to door. The young man nodded. “Take your phone and set up an appointment with a glazer, please.” I finished, just before picking up a rock and throwing it at the window, which immediately shattered.

Without giving it another thought, I slid myself inside, trying not to cut myself. “You guys stay here,” I ordered, before moving away from the window. The house was very grey and monotone, just like the whole block. It made me wonder if Dave had given me the correct address all those months ago when we first met.

“Shit!” I cursed out loud. I slid down to my knees next to him, behind the couch. His was lying on the floor, against the back of couch and the fabric was ruddy. “Oh, my gosh, David!” I blurted out, panicking as I grabbed his shoulders to pull him upright and my hands came back tainted with blood. “What the fuck happened?!”

He finally raised his head, looking at me. His face was stained with blood, but what caught my eyes were the dried-up tears around his eyes and on his cheeks. I wasn’t doing okay since the bombing, but Dave was doing worse. He tried to speak, but his throat was raw and he coughed before trying again, his voice barely audible. “The bullets,” he mumbled, pointing at the gun on the floor, next to the crutches, “they were blanks.”

“Thank God for that David,” I spat out sarcastically, staring at the gun. Dave was mumbling something about someone having broken into his flat, but I didn’t care about that when he was in this state. Seeing Dave like this made me realize I wasn’t up to the task. Maybe I could help, but I wasn’t enough. Not when he was this bad. “I’m taking you to the hospital,” I announced, seeing the wound on his head.

Dave protested with all the strength he had left. “Don’t, love, please,” he begged.

Silently, I helped him stand and handed him the crutches. I waited for him to sit down before I went to the bathroom downstairs to retrieve the first aid kit Dave had told me about. Now inside the bathroom, under the cold light, I noticed I had managed to smear my face with my bloody hands. With his blood. The freezing water hit my hands in the sink, making them tremble more if that was even possible. I wanted to cry, but my eyes wouldn’t let me. I couldn’t. I needed to be strong, for him.

Somewhat calmer though still shaky, I returned to the kitchen, he was sitting upright staring straight ahead. Following his gaze, I noticed the four envelopes positioned on the buffet and immediately knew what was inside. Instead of commenting on that, because what would I even say, I searched for a Youtube video on my phone to learn how to stitch.

“Can you at least tell me why?” I finally dared ask as I hunted down the bullet fragments on his skull with a pair of tweezers. He didn’t even budge under my touch.

Dave didn’t answer and after a few minutes, I no longer expected him to, but then his face broke down again and he confided in me. “I’m an invalid, Alma,” he spat out, like he was disgusted with himself. “First, I wasn’t capable of doing my job and protecting you,” he admitted. I wanted to interrupt him, disagree, after all I was still alive, but he went on before I had the words figured out. “And now, I’m not even capable of walking properly, let alone run,” his voice was seemingly louder now as he continued his rant. “I’m not even able to put a bullet through my brain,” he blurted out in agony.

I took the time to remove the last fragment from his skull before speaking. I needed to figure out what to say and how to say it, or this would all go up in flames.

“Dave,” I cooed, squatting down in front of him and taking his hands in mine. “Dave, look at me,” I repeated before placing my thumb under his chin and forcing his eyes to meet mine. The bright blue orbs were washed out and it broke my heart into a thousand pieces.

I let out a long breath, before speaking softly. “I don’t care whether you can walk smoothly or run. Neither do Ella, Charlie or Vicky, Dave,” I spoke in earnest, taking a moment to wet my dry lips. “We love you for who you are. You’re aren’t just some PPO, David,” I stopped for a second, my voice cracking under the emotion. “You’re a human being. You’re a father, a husband, a friend, and a lover.” I felt too warm all of the sudden, putting myself out there like this, completely out of character but at least Dave was still staring at me. “Most of the time, you’re also a provider, but you are much than that and you remain the David Budd we love even if you need to stop being the provider every once in a while, and be the received instead.”

Dave’s eyes broke out in tears and I closed my eyes, internally cursed at myself at having made things worse. Again. But then I felt his arms around me, he was hugging me, sobbing next to my face, and let him stay like this for as long as he needed.

The mood was much lighter as I cleaned his scalp with alcohol and stitched his wound to the best of my abilities. Afterwards, I helped him downstairs to the bathroom, and he didn’t protest. I did notice however, that he was walking with more ease and it brought a smile to my lips. I let him get dressed in peace and went outside to let the bodyguards know we were going to the safe house. When Dave joined us outside, he was wearing a black cap and it suited his face.

The ride to Vicky’s house was relatively silent. There were some things David and I needed to talk about, but those were important matters we couldn’t discuss with strangers listening in on us.

Vicky tightly hugged Dave as soon as he stepped inside. She opened her eyes mid-hug and mouthed “thank you” at me. Then the kids came running downstairs, both hugging their father, almost making him loose balance.

It was only after a few emotional minutes that Ella noticed I was there. “Who are you?” The little girl asked suspiciously, with those big eyes only kids seemed to be blessed with.

“I’m Alma, a friend of your dad’s.” I wasn’t sure how to introduce myself to the kids but Ella simply shrugged it off before hugging me as well, taking me by surprise. Charlie was a lot more reserved but he did smile and nod when I said hello.

Vicky had ordered pizza and we all sat around the table for dinner. Some chit chat was made, but it felt as we, the adults, were all hiding something.

Out of nowhere, Ella stopped eating her slice of pizza and looked up at her dad with confusion. “Why are you wearing a hat?”

David looked like a deer caught in the headlights. “It keeps my head warm,” he managed to say after a few seconds but neither Ella nor Charlie seemed convinced. Gazing at them, Dave started silently sobbing. I looked at Vicky, not knowing what do it, but she didn’t seem better prepared for this situation then I was.

“Dad, what’s wrong?” Charlie asked, his childish, happy voice cutting through the sombre atmosphere.

Dave started shaking his head softly before speaking weakly. “Nothing, I just need a hug.” At once, both kids jumped up from their chairs and went to hug their father again. And if Dave’s face was anything to go by, their hugs were indeed the best painkillers in the world.

Letting Dave have some quality time with his kids, I grabbed the empty pizza boxes and followed Vicky into the small kitchen. She was piling up the glasses in the dishwasher and silently pointed to a big cardboard box where they seemed to collect all the recyclables.

“I know you aren’t just a friend,” Vicky said, breaking the silence. I turned to face her, somehow scared she’d be angry but she actually sported a small grin on her face. “It’s okay, Alma. I’m happy if he’s happy.”

Her words stung even though she most likely didn’t intend that. Dave wasn’t happy and I felt powerless to change that. “Do I want to know the reason for the cap?” Vicky asked after a few long seconds had passed, observing Dave with the kids as she leaned against the doorframe.

“I suppose your first guess is correct,” I intimated, finding a subtle way around the sensitive subject. She knew what the cap was hiding, it was obvious and yet not enough for it to be publicly discussed. “I’m going to try to convince him to seek professional help.”

Vicky sighed before turning around and putting her hands on the top of my shoulders. “Good luck with that, Alma,” she sputtered, somewhat hesitant. “I’ve been trying for years without luck.”

David and I remained with them until it was time for the children to go to bed. The kids appeared heartbroken as Dave wished them goodnight, but he promised to come by again soon.

------

Now on our way home, Dave did appear to be in higher spirits. I wouldn’t say he was happy, but he did seem soothed, even surprising me when he took and kissed my hand as we were being driven home.

Just like all the previous days I could remember, I was tired, incredibly so. But considering Dave’s state, it’s not like we would have gone out clubbing anyway so I ignored the fatigue, thinking it was normal. I doubted he even did go clubbing in his free night. We both got dressed for bed and for the first time, appeared to be like normal people.

I was reading a Turkish novel, Kurt Seyt vê Sura, I’d begun months ago and had just found again on the nightstand. Dave was lying in bed next to me, setting up the new phone I had handed him when we arrived home from dinner.

“Love?” He asked eventually, his Scottish accent smoothly breaking the silence and I breathed out a small ‘huh’. “I know we never really talked about that, but hum-,” he stopped mid-sentence, reconsidering his wording and I dropped my book, rather interested now. “The whole condom story the other day made me wonder if you took another contraceptive.”

I chortled in genuine amusement, but Dave was silent and confused. The fact that men, even in their thirties just like now, always became so uneasy when discussing contraception was too funny. “Yes, Dave, I’m on the pill,” I finally managed to reply when I regained my breath. “Don’t worry about that.” To be fair, considering the amount of stress I had been under in the past weeks and how exhausted I was in this moment, I doubted my reproductive system even had enough energy to work properly.

Silence conquered the bedroom again and I was about to turn off the light when I saw Dave rubbing his shoulder, a small grimace on his face. “Here, let me give you a massage,” I offered and gestured for him to turn around, which he did. Careful as not touch the wound on his thigh, I straddled him, putting my weight on his buttocks.

For the first time, I now realized how deep the scars on his back really went. While some were fine and almost imperceptible by touch, others felt like crevasses, like they had been carved into his skin and flesh with nothing but cruelty and pain. I sighed internally as I mentally took in the causes of the scars and it reinforced my belief that David needed therapy if his mental scars were just one tenth as deep as the ones on his back.

Putting these thoughts to the back of my mind for now, I grabbed some hand lotion I always kept on my night stand and started rubbing it into his skin, carefully avoiding the bandage on the back of his shoulder. Instantly, I felt Dave’s muscles quiver and then relax beneath my hands.

“Thank you for today, love,” Dave murmured against the pillow after a few minutes. “And seeing Ella and Charlie again, I really needed that.”

I didn’t reply, instead I placed a kissed on his deepest running scar hoping that somehow it would help. When his skin had fully absorbed the lotion and my arms were tired, I rolled over to my side with a sigh.

“You know what, honey?” I used that nickname on purpose to make him move since I never used it otherwise. To my consternation, David turned his head towards me but didn’t move the rest of his body. “I think you should turn around and give me a foot rub.” I simpered, on the border of erupting with laughter.

“Sorry, love, but I can’t do that,” Dave whispered, his face still buried against the pillow. Curiosity was now getting the best of me, I mean, I could have just said no.

“Oh, come on, Dave,” I insisted still amused, now grabbing his good shoulder to roll him around myself.

To my amusement, and to Dave’s unjustified embarrassment, I quite immediately understood why Dave didn’t want to turn around when I saw the growing bulge inside his black boxer brief. Well, it had been a few days, I told myself as I licked my lips. “I could actually help you with that, you know?” I suggested brazenly, looking up at Dave with an expression I hoped was sensual.

“Oh, you can?” Dave dared me with his deep voice, now having positioned his left arm over the pillow to support his head, and his embarrassment had now obviously dissipated, into something more confident.

“I do believe it’s within my area expertise,” I purred, trying not to laugh at my own words as I took off my bra and moved to straddle him. Dave pulled himself into an almost upright position, his attention now having diverted to my breasts. “On one condition, though,” I added, already panting with excitement.

“Whatever you want, love,” Dave moaned, the fabric of our underwear rubbing against each other as his tongue took over my nipple. Satisfied with the answer, I pulled off his boxers and pushed my panties to side, our bodies almost able to connect but not quite yet.

I pulled his face away my chest until I could trace kisses on his face, from his lips to his ear. Finally letting our bodies connect, I whispered my condition in his ear, “you’ll start therapy next week,” before moaning with pleasure.

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

COTW - Chapter 12 update

Leaving Eren sleeping, Levi was forced to drag himself to work, dropping a still sleepy Viren off at Hanji's on the way. Eren had to be at the function centre they were holding the wind up in at 10am, his mate springing on him that he was supposed to be helping with the set up, the previous night. Though he did insist that he'd told Levi, and it was written on the fridge calendar... not that'd he'd acknowledge it. Not until he realised he was upsetting Eren instead of his mate being able to take it as a joke. He didn't like the idea of his pregnant mate being on his feet all day, but there was nothing he could do about it. His shift started at 5am, and even showering at work would be cutting things fine. He was dressing up for Eren's sake, trying to make amends for his stupid spat of jealousy. Thankfully he was on a split shift. His morning in the field, with the last few hours working with students completing their Paramedic degree. Most of that involved role-play, much to his disgust, but with Erwin still being in a shitty arse mood, it was actually preferable. If he was upset with him, he'd wish the man would just spit it out, and if he was upset with Mike, he wished the two of them would just bone it out... It was tiring, and beginning to affect patient care. Erwin had dropped the ball at an accident, nearly costing the victim their life. He didn't want to write Erwin up, but he also didn't know how to ask him what the fuck was going on with him. He wasn't sure he wanted to know, and he definitely didn't want to fight with Erwin over Eren again. The last half an hour of his shift was the worse. He was so close to seeing Eren, yet his students were shitty idiots. He'd somehow managed to catch the eye of two young female betas, that insisted on bombarding him with pointless questions. What kind of moron didn't know that you didn't put butter on a burn because it seals the heat in. Even burn creams didn't compare to fresh cool running water. And then... just as he'd thought he was free, they'd been waiting for him outside the depot. Dressed in his suit, with his hair still dripping, the pair of them had bombarded him with even more pointless shitty questions. Where was he going? What was he doing? Was he seeing someone? Like the mark on his neck and the ring on his finger didn't scream that. Stupidly, he'd tried to deflect, saying he was on his way to see his omega and son. One of them, less than quietly, "whispering" to her friend he was a "total DILF". He was so fucking done. Climbing into his car, he fished his phone out his pocket. Eren had been providing him with photos since his arrival at the function centre. His fiancée running late to arrive, sending a selfie labeled "I over slept!". It didn't look like it. His love looked perfect. A healthy red glow in his cheeks as he smiled up at him. Sending his mate a quick text to tell him he was on the way, there were only a few moments before he replied, Eren promising to meet him out the front of the function centre. The function centre had the usual crappy parking. Levi having to partially block the alley running between the side of the centre, and the next building. He was lucky to even get space, and it wouldn't have been a problem if the arsehole with their tiny car hadn't parked half over the bay lines. With the day he'd had, he was sorely tempted to smash their windows in. Jogging up the front steps, he finally managed to crack as a smile. Eren looked brilliant. Dressed in a dark suit with an emerald green shirt, and white tie, his mate took his breath away "Levi?" "You look amazing" Blushing softly, Eren walked over to him, grazing his cheek with a soft kiss. His hair had been neatly combed back, forming a man bun. He normally hated them, but he looked amazing. There were probably a million different words to describe how good his omega looked, yet his brain had short circuited to "amazing" "Thank you. You look... hot. And tired" "Hot as in hot? Or hot as in hot?" "Sexy. Gorgeous. Perfect. Hot" "I wanted to look nice for you" "Oh, you look nice. More than nice... you have no idea the things, you in a suit does to me" "I seem to vaguely recall" "As much as I'd love to show you, we'd never get back inside" Looping his arm through Eren, he smiled a dopey smile. Clueless to the way his silver eyes sparkled with affection for his omega "Shall we?" "We shall. It's actually impossible to get lost in this place. The dance studio was just too small for everything" "Have you been busy?" "A little. I had to help sew up last minute costume tears, but no. No heavy lifting" "And you're ready?" "Yep. Sasha is the one having the meltdown. She wanted to change costumes again" "Again?" "This is costume number 6. She was going to go with pink to begin with" "I think you could have pulled it off" "Noooo. I'm just lucky I'm not in a dress. Honestly" Escorted by Eren, the whole inside of the function centre had been transformed... not that he knew what it usually looked like. Decked in Christmas colours, it bordered on tacky, but was saved by the fact it was December "Ignore the decor. Dance mums are fucking scary. They all thought they knew best and this is what happened. It's what I imaging reindeer vomit to be" "I don't know. There's a few things in here that look amazing... especially you" "You're killing me here..." "Not my intention I promise" It was nice to see all eyes on Eren, his fiancée walking through the tables with a sense of confidence that nearly had Levi tripping over his own feet. It stroked his and his alpha's egos to know he was the one going home with Eren at the end of the night. As they walked, a few people waving to Eren as they walked, Eren politely waving back "You haven't missed much. Just the boring speech part and the smaller children" "I'm sorry for being late" "I'm really not mad. Now, all the drinks are ID only. Hanji ordered you a drink already. She's going to take Viren tonight because I've been busy all day. And I'll probably need help stretching tonight" "I can stretch you" "Mmm, as much as I like the sound of that, I don't want to wake up with leg cramps tomorrow" "Then I'll have to stretch you thoroughly" "You need to stop talking, or we're going to be in some real trouble" Levi thought his mate was being flirtatious, until he noticed some very disapproving mum's glaring. Reaching their table, Eren pulled his chair out for him "Hanji, remember. Keep an eye on him for me" "Eren, we have tequila. What's going to go wrong" Eren put his hands on his hips, scolding her "You're only allowed one" "Two, I've arranged for Eld to take us home. I just have to call" "I have to go now. Here, take care of my phone. I don't really want to leave it in my bag" Passing it over, Eren kissed him softly. Ruffling Viren's hair as he stood "I'll see you later. And you, be good for daddy and Hanji" "Good luck" "Break a leg" "Don't tell him that. He's got enough pins in his ankle" "You two behave" "We will!" Almost as soon as Eren had Disappeared off to the side and out of view from the tables, the concert? soon started. Levi didn't know he needed a hip-hop dancing Jesus in his life until it happened. Nor did he know that the star of Bethlehem knew ballet, but his favourite was the tap dancing sheep. This shit was great. People didn't appreciate his laughter, Viren staring at him like he'd lost his marbles. Mary went to kiss Joseph, Joseph burst into tears and ran off the stage. The little girl dropped the baby Jesus doll, the head coming off and she kicked it off to the side, acting like nothing happened. The whole nativity scene acted out by dance and it was gold. The next set was more of the same, though it was older kids. If had to guess, he'd say from 10 years, or so, to 16. Santa doing some Latin dance with rudolf, and instead of dancing the Christmas tree sang. The chimney had a wardrobe malfunction, or the kid just didn't give two shits. They couldn't move properly, falling on their back and doing the best interpretive dance of a stuck turtle he'd even seen. While everyone whispered around them, he and Hanji were struggling not to laugh. Anna wanted to help them, trying to escape Hanji's lap. After the Santa set came to an end, the stage area was cleared. He and Hanji both needed the break. Then came the teenagers dance performances, which sadly went off without a hitch. After that was a small break before the ballroom dancing started. It was now most of the small children left with their parents. Returning with another drink, Hanji was grinning ear to ear as she returned. Anna had needed the bathroom, the little girl in love with everything going on around her "Enjoying yourself?" "That was great" "Good. I'm going to enrol Anna, what about Viren?" "I think he might be a bit too small right now" "You just don't want him stuck in a chimney" They really shouldn't be laughing... "He's enough of a handful as it is" "I wonder if they managed to get them out of there" "I have no idea" "I wonder if Eren got to watch?" "I hope he did. I didn't realise it would be so... Christmassy" "Neither did I. I wish we'd brought the others now" "I don't. Erwin's in a sulk" "Yeah. I have no idea why. I asked if he could pick me up tonight, and he lost it at me" "I needed this more than I thought" "Well hold onto that feeling, Eren will be up soon. If it's like the first two bits, they'll work their way from youngest to oldest" "Is it horrible to hope for another stuff up?" Hanji ducked her head, checking to make sure no one was listening "Nope. I am too. I hope they have DVD's of this. Or one of those crazy dance mums has been filming" "We'll have to ask Eren" "Yeah" The younger kids were kind of adorable as they danced the best they could. The girls were wearing way too much make up, looking more like mutant, oversized dolls than people, while the boys were dressed as gentlemen. One kid had the cockiest grin on his face, onto to end up with foot stomped on by his partner at the end, when nudged her out the way for more attention. "Hi, Guys! Fancy seeing you here" "Connie! Lovely to see you again! Here, come sit with us" Unlike Levi, Connie was wearing a causal shirt and jeans. The alpha all smiles as he sat down next to Hanji "What'd I miss?" "The funniest shi-shoe. You're not going to get into trouble are you?" "What? No. Sasha told me not to bother coming until late" "Seriously? You missed the best bits" "As long as I see her dance, that's the main thing" "Well, we seem to be in the teenagers now. It shouldn't be too much longer" Hanji was wrong. It seemed to take forever. There was a short break after the young dancers, until the M.C finally returned to the announce the senior dancers performing the Viennese Waltz to Alice's Waltz. Levi sitting forward in his chair, as Eren swept in with Sasha on his arm. His omega looked so cool and composed, that Levi ended up half squishing Viren as he completely forgot his son in his lap "Uncle Eren!" "Shhh, Anna. Uncle Eren knows you're here" "Mummy" "Shhh, baby. Let's just watch mummy" "Go Sasha!" Sasha shot Connie a glare as she and Eren took their places. Eren was breathtaking. Out of all the dancers, his omega... he seriously took his breath away. He expected Alice's Waltz to take longer than a minute or so that it did. Eren and Sasha looked like naturals as Sasha draped herself in Eren's arms. Eren spinning her around as if it was nothing, and as if he wasn't 4 months pregnant. Clapping politely, Hanji leaned across the table to smack his arm "You need to breathe" "Whoo! Sasha!" Connie was on his feet, not caring he was making a scene. Standing Sasha back up, Eren bowed as Sasha curtsied. Her dress looked stunning, but no where as nice as his fiancée "I am. I just... I didn't expect it to be that nice" "Of course you didn't. You don't exactly scream the type to dance" Walking off to the side of the dance floor, Viren wanted his mum. Their son trying to escape him to go running after Eren. One by one, each couple was called forward, their names, dance style and song announced, before an arrangement of 3ish minutes. Levi impressed by each style of dance, as he'd expected each couple to waltz or something to that effect. Anna was really into, clapping her hands slightly out of time with the music, as Connie encouraged her. Given how quiet everyone else was, it was a miracle they weren't told to shut up. Eren and Sasha were the last couple. Eren holding Sasha's hand as if Sasha was a princess. Both of them smiling as they took their places a few metres apart "Dancing the Foxtrot to Christina Aguilera's Say Something. It's our final couple. Mr Eren Yeager and his partner Mrs Sasha Springer" Connie kept his mouth shut this time. Perhaps knowing better than to upset Sasha when she was in character. Eren looked slightly more nervous, but relaxed as the music started. Acting flirty, then shocked and betrayed, Sasha danced around Eren, before Eren took hold of her hands. It seemed to him that the pair made better use of the space than the other pairs. Not that he was biased. He was in awe of Sasha's fancy footwork, until Eren started. The pair playing arguing and reconciling lovers perfectly. The dance ending wish Sasha "dying" in Eren's arms. There were a few very tiny moments Eren looked as if he was about to panic, but no one but him would have known the way his mate moved. Standing Sasha up, once again, Sasha span away from him, their hands catching at the last moment, Eren bowing and Sasha naturally curtsying again. Jumping to his feet, Connie was clapping as he yelled "That's my wife!" Sasha blew his a kiss, before letting Eren guide her off the dance floor. Only for then all to be called back on, bow and curtsy again. The M.C announcing another short break. Leading her over to them, Eren released Sasha's hand. The woman going to her husband as Eren came to him. Lifting Viren up, he nuzzled into the boy's face, careful not to upset his graze. Eren then staring at him, and Levi no longer remembering the English language "You broke him" "I can see that, Hanji" "Uncle Eren, you looked beautiful. But Sasha was prettier" Sasha giggled "Thank you, Anna" "Levi? You're not going to say anything?" "Wow..." Eren laughed softly. His sweaty omega sitting down in his lap carefully "Thank you" Rubbing Viren's back, their son kept his face hidden against Eren's chest "He's definitely broken" "Shoe up, Hanji" "No. He's coming too..." Struggling like an idiot, he really didn't know what to say. Eren was out of his league. Hanji however, had no problem with her mouth "Sasha, does that mean you're done?" "Yep. That's me for the night" "You were wonderful" "Thanks. Eren is such a great partner. I'm going to miss dancing with him" Readjusting himself to turn to Sasha, his mate rolled his eyes "You make it sound like I'll never dance again" Sasha huffed. Climbing out of Connie's lap to sit beside her husband "It's going to be a long wait to find another suitable partner. Most don't like the foot work of a foxtrot" "Eren's great at throwing himself into complicated things" "Oi. I'm sitting right here" "We know. You're supposed to be going and getting ready" "I know, but it can wait" "I thought you wanted to clean up" "That's why it can wait. Besides, someone is getting sleepy" Sasha yawned, then winked "How did you know?" "You haven't eaten in the last half an hour" "I don't eat that much... but do you guys want food? I've got food" Levi's stomach rumbled slightly, though he knew exactly what he wanted to eat "That would be great. We did eat before, but it's a long night for the kids" "I'll help you" Climbing out his lap, the kiss Eren bestowed upon his lips was hardly kid friendly. Breaking the kiss, Eren had a cheeky smile on his face "Damn, Shitty brat" "I love you my arsehole of an alpha. Viren's just about asleep, and I suppose I really do have to get ready" "Ok. Will you be alright?" "Yep. I've got something special planned, so don't take your eyes off me" "I would never"

[georgialouisea]

Snow Day Surprises.

Characters - Sam x Reader, Dean. Word Count - 2140 Warnings -  Swearing, fluff, other warnings in the tags.  A/N -  Written for @thing-you-do-with-that-thing and @like-a-bag-of-potatoes ’ 12 Days of Christmas Challenge. Prompt - Snowball Fight.

Rolling over in bed you were surprised to roll into Sam’s chest, usually, when you woke up Sam was on a run.

Feeling his arms tighten around your waist you looked up at him, his eyes were just closing again when you kissed his cheek.

“Why are you here?” You whispered.

“Love you too.”

“You know what I mean.”

“It’s snowing.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” Sam leaned back and opened the curtain slightly, sitting up you watched the snow cover baby and the parking lot. “So I thought we could stay here for a while.”

“Would you two shut up it is 5am!” Dean groaned.

“Sorry.” You spoke before kissing Sam again.

“Stop that shit too.” Dean snapped.

“Dean shut up and sleep.” You sighed pulling away from Sam’s lips, resting your head on his clothed chest you smiled as you listened to him slowly fall asleep.

A 5-hour rest was what you and Sam needed.

“You two look cosy.” Dean smirked as he snapped a photo of the two of you cuddled up in bed.

“I’ve slept longer than usual but I’m so tired.” You groaned.

“Story of my life.” Dean mumbled. “Now get your butts up we have things to do.”

“No.” Sam protested as he pulled you closer to him nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck.

“Dean, can we stay here?” You asked.

“Fine.” Dean huffed. You heard him leave the motel room yet you didn’t hear him return he must’ve left the door open. Seconds later you felt something ice cold hit your face, jumping up and away from Sam you screamed when you realised what had happened. Dean had dumped snow on both you and Sam.

“You bastard, you absolute dick!” You screamed at Dean launching yourself at him, Sam grabbed your arm pulling you back towards him before you could attack Dean. Sam’s arms wrapped around you holding you to his warm chest.

“You best get us coffee before she kills you.”

“It’s just snow.”

“Dean, I’m in pyjamas, not okay snow attire, so leave and get me something hot to drink.”

“Sam, you have a grouchy one here.”

“If I had a gun under my pillow I would have shot you,” Sam warned.

“Well shit, you two can’t take a joke.”

“Sam.” You hissed, closing your eyes. Peeling yourself from Sam’s chest you walked to the bathroom, you were more than happy to feel the warmth from the shower on your skin.

You felt more human after your shower and much less likely to kill Dean. Buttoning up your blouse you fixed your skirt before putting on your jacket, Sam walked in as you finished making yourself look human, taking of his shirt he turned on the shower.

“When he’s in the car we’ll get him back.”

“Really?”

“God yes, he deserves it,” Sam smirked, kissing you before stripping off and getting into the shower.

Walking back into the room you dropped your clothes and bag onto the bed. Dean was sat at the table scrolling through his laptop. “What no hot drink after what you did?”

“No, because you’ve been so picky lately and I didn’t want to piss you off further by getting you the wrong thing.”

“Shouldn’t have dropped snow on my head then you dick.”

“Dropped it on Sam too.”

“Doesn’t make it any better Dean.”

“We’ll get a drink on the way to the morgue, I’ll be in the car.” Dean rolled his eyes, getting up and leaving you alone.

“Okay.”

The motel room was getting colder by the second, kicking off your heels you slipped back into bed trying to find some of Sam’s remaining body heat, pulling your knees up to your chest you settled under the blankets and closed your eyes.

“Babe?”

“Mhm…”

“You okay?” Sam questioned kneeling down next to you, his hand cupping your face his thumb slowly rubbing your cheek.

“Just tired and cold, I thought the bed would help.”

“Want to stay here? I can get more blankets from reception.”

“I don’t know.”

“Give me a few minutes okay?”

“Yeah.”

You listened to Sam shut the motel room door, his footsteps fading as he crossed the parking lot towards baby, her engine stopped before 2 car doors slammed, two sets of footsteps walked back to the room before you heard the door again.

“Babe, you awake?” Sam questioned as he sat on the bed beside you.

“Yeah.” You opened your eyes with a few slow blinks.

“We don’t have a lot to do today so you can stay here but I want you to be able to pick up when I call or you can come with for a few hours, baby is nice and warm.”

“She is,”Dean added looking slightly guilty behind Sam.

“We have the morgue and then a few families to interview.”

“I’ll come with but not to the morgue.” You smiled at Sam, slowly pulling away the sheet and blanket.

“Dean go warm baby up some more.” Sam instructed as he helped you from the bed. “You sure you’re okay? You’re freezing, your legs, you’re so cold.” Sam’s hand rested on your knee.

“I know.”

“We have a blanket or two in baby.”

“No!”

“What?”

“Have you had sex on one or more of those?”

“No why?”

“Then Dean has, they’re being burnt.”

“Sure, you sure you’re okay though?”

“Positive, I’m just cold so store for a blanket then I can sit in the warmth while you two look at dead people.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Sam smiled helping you to your feet, slipping your heels back on you grabbed your handbag and put on your long grey coat.

Walking out to baby you and Sam took it steady, your heels not mixing with the snow. Slipping into the backseat you snapped your head to the other side of the car as Sam slid in next to you, leaving the passenger seat empty. Sam’s arms wrapped around you pulling you close to his chest.

“Y/N, I’m sorry.” Dean spoke looking at you in the mirror.

“It wasn’t you, you’re fine.”

“Still I’m sorry.”

“Hey pull in at the next store you see, one most likely to sell a blanket.” Sam instructed Dean.

“There are blankets in the trunk.”

“If you can pick one that you haven’t had sex on I’ll accept it.” You looked at him with a raised brow.

“Erm…”

“Yeah, they’re getting burnt.”

Dean pulled into a store and walked out a few minutes later with a dark grey fluffy blanket. Handing it back to you he smiled seeing you curled up against Sam.

“Good?” He asked as he watched you cocoon yourself.

“So good.” You mumbled trying to avoid getting your makeup on Sam.

Dean pulled into the car park of the small hospital, looking back at you and Sam, Dean shifted in his seat. “She asleep?”

“I don’t know, maybe,” Sam mumbled.

“You think we should get her checked out?”

“Dean she’s okay, it’s winter, it’s snowing, she’s just cold and exhausted.”

“Exactly shouldn’t we check her in?”

“Dean it’s not a hotel, stop freaking out over your snow stunt this morning.”

“I can’t.”

“Well stop, we have stuff to do.”

“Y/N?” Dean raised his voice making you jolt up with a groan.  “We’re heading inside so we’re giving you the keys, you have a gun and angel blade under the seat if you need it.”

“Okay.”

“So nap your ass off for 30 minutes.” Dean spoke handing you the keys.

“Yes, sir.” You smiled at Dean, Sam kissed your forehead before leaving you alone in the car. Curling up you relished in the warmth of baby and the blanket, your nap felt no longer than 30 seconds, yet when the boys returned to the car you shot up gun raised.

“It’s us.” Sam announced as he slid in the seat next to you.

“So we have the Smiths and the someone elses to talk to.”

“What the fuck is going on with you?” Dean questioned.

“Fuck knows.” You yawned settling back against Sam.

“Sammy, I love her I do but her ass needs to stay in the car or go back to the motel.”

“Why?” Sam asked.

“If she interviews anyone we’re done, she’s not with it.”

“Right here Dean.” You waved at him.

“I know you are.”

“Let’s get coffee then we can head to interview the vics families.” You suggested.

“Fine but you slip up once.” Dean warned.

“Whatever.”

Interviewing the families didn’t take too long, they were both oblivious to any wrongdoing or strange events. You were more than happy to curl up against Sam with the blanket over you as Dean drove you all back to the motel.

Dean pulled baby into a space near your room, following Sam out of the car you looked at him, a devilish grin on his face told you he was planning something. He shut the back door before ducking down and scooping up some snow, after making 2 snowballs he stood back up and handed you one.

“Dean!” Sam called over the car.

“Yeah?” Dean turned around to face you both as he shut the car door.

Launching your snowball at his face you grinned as it hit him square in the face, Sam’s snowball soon followed snacking Dean with much more force than yours had.

“Oh it’s on!” Dean smirked disappearing behind baby to scoop up snow, you and Sam followed suit making a few more.

The snowball fight was short lived and you stayed well protected behind Sam, he blocked each hit as they flew at you both.

“Okay I’m too cold out here.” You announced holding your hands up in surrender, the words had barely left your mouth before a snowball hit you in the face. “AHHH! You dick!” You squealed. “All I wanted was my blanket from the car.”

“Sorry!” Dean shouted as he was hit with a snowball full force in the face making him stumble backwards.

Grabbing the blanket from the backseat you pulled the motel key from your pocket and unlocked the door. The snow running down your neck was freezing you.

“I’m taking a hot shower, no more snow, I call a truce.”

“Yes, no more snow.” Dean rubbed his nose, his cheeks and nose red from the cold and multiple snowball hits.

“Good, I’m showering and then sleeping.”

“Enjoy!” Dean shouted as you closed the bathroom door. “You sure she’s okay?”

“She’s fine.”

A few minutes later when you emerged from the bathroom in Sam’s plaid and a pair of pyjama shorts. Crawling into bed you noticed both of them watching you.

“What?”

“Nothing.” Dean shrugged taking a swig from the bottle of whiskey in his hand.

“Seriously what’s up?” You asked Dean.

“Well, I’m worried about you.” Dean admitted.

Rolling over you searched your bag for the Christmas card for Dean, handing it to him you settled against Sam.

“What’s this?” He raised a brow, looking down at the card in his hand.

“Early Christmas present I guess.” You shrugged. “From both of us.”

You and Sam watched Dean open the envelope.

“Happy Christmas Uncle… You’re pregnant?” Dean sat up putting the alcohol on the side table. “I’m going to be an Uncle?” He got up and awkwardly hugged you and Sam.

“That’s why you’ve been on research and on interview duty.”

“Yeah.” Sam smiled down at you kissing your temple.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry I wouldn’t have pulled that shit this morning if I knew.”

“It’s fine.”

“Sure?” He asked perching on the bed next to you.

“Yes, so sure.” You smiled at Dean watching him reread the card as you rested your head on Sam’s chest.

“I love you.” Sam whispered kissing your hair.

“Y/N?” Dean asked.

“Yeah?”

“How far along are you?”

“13 weeks why?”

“Well I’m trying to timeline everything and you don’t look pregnant.”

“Seriously?”

“What?”

“For a hunter, I can’t believe you haven’t noticed this, I know I’ve been covering up but…” You lifted up Sam’s plaid to show him your growing bump.

“Wow.” Dean glanced at Sam. “You two are so sneaky.”

“Yeah, we love you but I didn’t want to tell anyone until we were in the all clear.”

“I get it.”

“At least in a few years, you’ll have someone else to have snowball fights with.” You pulled down Sam’s shirt and rested a palm on your bump.

“I actually can’t wait, God I’m going to be the best Uncle ever.” Dean smiled to himself.

“I’ve nearly told him so many times today.” Sam admitted

“Really?”

“Yeah.” Sam’s hand rested next to yours. “I honestly didn’t think I’d end my day telling him.”

“I didn’t think I’d start the day with snow getting dumped on my head.” You smirked at Dean.

“I said I’m sorry!” Dean whined.

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