#it’s 1:30 so grain of salt but there’s definitely something going on that she’s doing on purpose

[nicollekidman]

there’s something SO specific about smg’s performance in mid season seven where she goes like. almost entirely neutral around spike in a way buffy doesn’t naturally, so it comes off extremely intentional and like. the way you can tell buffy finally understands how she feels is that she very specifically does not let it show but she also like. holds herself around him like she knows he can tell anyways? i am delusional but there’s Something with her faces around him that are so so so aching it’s crazy…… “i can be alone with you here” but physically because she lets herself be Still and just Look

[cressidagrey]

Recipe for Love - Peach Cobbler

Summary:

Azriel finds a bakery and creates his very own reward system.

Warnings:

Kinda Rhys Bashing, but when don't I do that?

A/N:

thanks to @k-godling for listening to me rambling on about this and finding the perfect name for that Bakery! This will eventually be a series consisting out of One-Shots, so if you have an idea, shoot it my way! (Also, if anybody actually tries out that recipe, let me know lol)

Peach Cobbler Filling 2 ½ cups sliced canned peaches ¾ cup canned peach syrup ¼ cup brown sugar (packed) 1 ½ tablespoons cornstarch Few grains salt Dough 1 tablespoon granulated sugar ⅛ teaspoon baking soda 1 cup prepared biscuit mix (or your own biscuit recipe) ⅓ cup cultured sour cream 2 to 3 tablespoons milk (if needed)  Sweet or sour cream for topping

Place peaches in bottom of casserole. Mix peach syrup, brown sugar, cornstarch and salt. Pour over peaches. Set casserole in hot oven, while mixing dough. Stir sugar and soda into biscuit mix. Add cream and milk to make soft dough; mix lightly. Place by spoonfuls on top of hot peaches. Bake 30 to 35 minutes until well browned. Serve warm with sweet or sour cream. 

The Spymaster of the Night Court was contemplating killing his High Lord. 

Or maybe it was Azriel contemplating killing his brother. 

Maybe it was both. 

Whatever it was, Azriel was definitely mentally planning Rhys’ tragic demise as he trudged his way through Velaris. 

It wasn’t the first time he had done it. Wouldn’t be the last time either. 

He would never actually go through with it. 

(Probably.)

Regardless of how annoying Rhys was… regardless of how the words of last Winter Solstice were still echoing in his head. 

Alone the thought of a pleasure hall made him want to throw up these days, after all.  

He didn’t. Azriel knew better than that. 

It didn’t matter. It shouldn’t matter. 

It was his own fault for allowing himself to fall in love with a mated female. It was his own fault for thinking that maybe he had a chance…for thinking that maybe…

He had never had a chance. Pretending otherwise wasn’t going to help him. 

Rhys had made himself clear months ago and then had done the same again today…today when Lucien had asked Elain to dinner and she had agreed. 

Of course, she had agreed. Azriel had taken himself out of the running months ago. 

Azriel had followed his High Lord’s order to the letter. 

Azriel had done everything that was asked of him, even when it had broken his fucking heart and left him…desolate. 

And as a thank you, he got Rhys’ crooning in his mind that See, Az? They worked things out. 

They had. Good for them. 

The food had tasted like ash in his mouth and he hadn’t managed to get down more than half a plate. Not more before he had excused himself, citing unrest in Spring…and had walked out of the River House without even properly seeing where he was going. 

Away. Far, far away. 

He had half a mind to let the shadows take him away. Maybe somewhere deep in the Illyrian Steppes, where there was no being anywhere near him. Where he could throw his magic at a mountain and destroy some rocks with the fury that embered deep within him…

You should get a treat! The shadows told him brightly at that moment, nearly making him stumble. 

What?

Maybe it shouldn’t have surprised him. 

The more forlorn he got, the more depressed…the more optimistic they became. The more they tried to get him to smile…the more they fed him with petty gossip included in their intelligence gathering… the more they did everything to make his life easier for him. 

They were trying. 

It was sweet.

I am not a dog, he grumbled back to them. He wasn’t. 

And besides…he didn’t deserve a treat anyway. For what? Doing his job? Surviving another week? Not killing Rhys during lunch that day? Not wringing Lucien’s neck for politely asking Elain to dinner? Not scratching out somebody’s eyes like a rabid…

Of course not, Master, the shadows agreed easily. You should still get a treat. Something nice, just for yourself. 

Something nice, just for yourself, he turned these words around in his head. 

He did have a lack of that in his life, but then he always had. He had never really had started to amass anything…collect anything…no little things to litter his rooms with…not even as much as a hobby, unless one called insomnia and stabbing the practice puppets in the House of Wind until they were reduced to rubble that. 

All of it was just…his job was his life and that was it. 

And it wasn’t like he deserved it anyway. 

Just like he didn’t deserve a mate, didn’t deserve Mor and didn’t deserve Elain…He didn’t deserve a fucking treat either. 

He clearly didn’t deserve anything that made his life easier. 

There’s this little bakery, the shadows proposed quietly. You could buy yourself a slice of cake! 

A slice of cake. A slice of cake before flying back to the House of Wind, barricading himself into his room and writing another report. 

A slice of cake before he would let the loneliness take over completely…before he would never even allow himself to look at any female ever again because he was not going to go through this pain again. 

Being a little bit overdramatic, Master? the shadows asked him with a sigh and he wanted to growl. 

No. No, actually, not really. 

Why shouldn’t he be overdramatic? 

At least in his own damn mind. It wasn’t like he was throwing that into anybody’s faces. Even when he had wanted to. He had wanted to scratch that smug little smile off Rhys’ face with his bare hand and…

You don’t, Master, the shadows sighed. You didn’t even want us to steal his favourite jacket. 

They had offered. They had offered to make Rhys’ life filled with annoying inconveniences. Azriel had said no after that Winter Solstice. Now he was reconsidering it. 

The problem was just that it wasn’t going to make him happy. 

The shades would be petty and that would be it, but he wouldn’t…it wouldn’t make him feel better. 

He would still feel unfairly treated…he would still feel always pushed to the edges of his family…the one whose emotions didn’t really matter…who’s happiness wasn’t a priority, not even a footnote, set firmly behind whatever was good for the court and that was that. 

He was the one send to do the dirty work, the one expected to deal with it, because clearly it didn’t bother him… which was a lie. Of course, it bothered him. But his skillset made him the obvious choice so…

Mor and whatever these 5 centuries had been…Mor who could have outright turned him down when he had yearned for her and had never bothered to do so. He was still waiting for her to do it. Even now. 

His hands clenched slowly, the scars feeling tighter. Autumn was coming…as soon as the leaves began to turn, the joints started to hurt him. 

They have double chocolate chip cookies, the shadows whispered like it was a state secret. He couldn’t help but bark out a laugh. 

Sugar was his one weakness. 

The shadows knew that. 

It would just be a few copper coins…maybe a silver one or two…his steps faltered.

One slice of cake? As a treat? Just a few minutes sat in one quiet corner of a bakery…alone. With just his shadows…that did sound…nice. 

As a treat for not killing Rhys, Azriel proposed. and for not doing anything, saying anything…for keeping his temper in check. 

He could work with that, right? 

It could be his very own reward system. One slice of cake for…for surviving another week. For not faltering. For not scratching anybody’s eyes out…for not loosing his temper and go into the illyrian Steppes and destroy a small mountain in a fit of rage. 

Huh. 

Maybe the shadows were onto something.

One shadows wrapped himself around his wrist and started tugging him along and Azriel followed. 

Down the bustling streets of Velaris, towards the outskirts of the Rainbow. 

There, Beehive Bakery took up the ground floor of a brownstone Townhouse…a yellow and white striped awning stretching over the length of it. It’s name was screamed from it’s sign above the door that was pushed open, quiet but lively conversation reaching his ears from within. There were three tables outside, filled with people, but as he walked into the shop, careful to tuck his wings into his body…there were still one or two tables left. Even one right there in one corner. 

It smelled heavenly in there…like vanilla and almond, wafting out of the oven thet must be in the backroom…a young High Fae was manning the till. She looked young. More a teen than anything, dark curly hair covering her head…Her limbs hadn’t yet lost all their coltish length. 

“Welcome to Beehive Bakery, what can I get you?” she asked him with more enthusiasm than  he had seen in a long, long time. 

For a moment, he came up short, eyes roving over the baked goods laid out behind the glass of the counter…and then finally snagging on the first cake in front of him…Peach Cobbler. It looked…great with a golden brown crust…there was one slice missing so he could see the perfect orange of carefully sliced peaches peeking out. 

“One Slice of Peach Cobbler, please,” he requested. 

“Coming right up,” she chirped brightly. “Some tea as well?” 

Azriel answered in the affirmative, quietly charmed by her sheer enthusiasm…A few moments later he exchanged a couple of silver coins for a plate holding a slice of peach cobbler, topped with a dollop of cream and a delicate teacup. 

He took both to the table he had sussed from the beginning. Clearly the worst place in the whole shop…but for his usage, it was perfect.

 The darkest corner, right in the back…covered in shadows…nobody would be able to peek at anything if he did choose to read some reports…and nobody could surprise him from the back. 

It was perfect. 

Perfect was also the only word he could imagine for that Peach Cobbler. Quite frankly it was best thing he had ever eaten. Tart but Sweet…and the topping crumbling and the peaches ooey gooey…it was so good it was startling. He could just get a teeny tiny bit of cinnamon in there…

Alone that Peach Cobbler had been worth every single coin. 

By the first forkful, he felt likes osmehting in his chest was easing. By the time he was left with only a third of it he was already dreading to finish the whole piece, because then it would be gone. 

And that just didn’t seem fair. 

He watched the people entering and then leaving again, some just coming for a single loaf of bread, some of them buying pastries or slices of cake to go…some sat down with a friend and conversed with them…The Beehive Bakery seemd to be a quietly buzzing hub of Velaris. 

The young girl behind the counter was busy fulfilling orders and smiling at every customer, some that called her by her name, Juniper. 

Halfway through the afternoon, a new female joined her behind the yonder. This one older, much tinier, her body filled out with lush curves…Blonde hair tumbling over her shoulders, held back by a handkerchief. 

“Done for the day?” she asked Juniper, and Azriel watched silently how she nearly absentmindedly fluttered around the space, replacing empty displays and generally making sure everything was in order. 

“I can stay if you need me, B,” Juniper said quickly but the blonde female waved her off, handing her a envelope from one of the pockets in her frilly pink apron. It had strawberries all over it, Azriel realised with some amusement. Juniper took the envelope, opened it to sneak a peek and then stared at her again. 

“That’s too much,” Juniper complained, clearly longsufferingly but B just laughed. 

“No, it isn’t. It’s just enough,” she promised and Juniper hugged her in thanks. 

“Thanks, B,” Juniper mumbled, before hanging up her apron and disappearing. Leaving B or whatever her name actually was, clearly in charge. 

In the meantime, Azriel had the shadows find him some of the reports he needed to read that were enchanted for secret keeping, only been able to be read by his eyes and his eyes only. 

B knew seemingly everybody that came into the bakery, knew the names of every customer, knew their order…and so Azriel settled in at that table and spend the rest of the afternoon, reading his report and draining his tea until only dark dregs remained. 

He listened to the cadence of her voice as she talked and relaxed in that little corner, where nobody paid him any mind. Nobody flinched away from him. 

Nobody cared. 

It wouldn’t stay his only visit. It would become a weekly tradition, a habit that he shouldn’t have but still had. 

Because he wanted to go to the Beehive Bakery. 

It was the one thing he wanted. 

What Azriel wanted had never mattered. 

Not really. 

Unless it was right here. Unless it was him buying himself Peach Cobbler and cream.

Unless it was him sitting in the darkest corner and just watching. 

[laora-ryn]

so I have a Magnus Protocol theory. it's not an airtight theory, but I think it holds enough water that I feel confident posting this today now that ep 21 is live

I think [ERROR] is Jonathan Sims, The Archivist. or what's become of him. or what's left of him

The short version:

Tape recorders spontaneously appear around [ERROR] and their victims

People are compelled to start reciting statements. We have an n of 3 total, but an n of 1 (of 3) where the statement and [ERROR] are directly linked

They were trapped in a water-logged space beneath the Archivist's office of the Magnus Institute, before Sam accidentally let them out

They seem to have a vested interest in protecting Gwen "Jon Sims' closest archetype in Protocol" Bouchard

The long version is under the cut because hooooo boy did it get long

I'll start with the obvious question. "[ERROR] is credited as voiced by Beth Eyre! we do hear their voice in Breaking Ground, and it doesn't sound like Jon!"

Answer 1: it would be extremely way too obvious if Jonny voiced this character, if they didn't want people to make the connection immediately

Answer 2: I doubt what [ERROR] sounds like right now is going to matter too much in the long run, if it isn't meant to, because it sounds like they're probably some kind of ghost/apparition, and their appearances are so heavily distorted audio-wise that I just. don't really trust them myself, tbh?

But it probably would be silly to forget that Beth Eyre did appear in TMA, exactly once. She voiced the lady who witnessed the attempted Flesh ritual and came to give a statement to Gertrude about it. As far as I can tell, that lady didn't meet Jon at all. I feel like it's probably premature to say this is a simple case of "reusing the VA because we like them," but I don't think it's completely out of the question

so to the matter of [ERROR] themselves, the only physical description we get of them is "manky old git," courtesy of Ink5oul. They seem like the type to think anyone over 30 is "old," so take that with a grain of salt lol

The in-scene descriptors we get of [ERROR] are as follows:

Episode 10:

The water is gently disturbed below. Then there is a thud on the hidden wooden trapdoor and the rattle of a padlock.

There is the distinct sound of a key being dragged across wood, then being blindly fumbled in a lock which finally clicks.

The trap door opens, the lock falling away and [ERROR] emerges and takes a shuddering breath..

Episode 21:

A Figure emerges, shrouded in a cloak of whispers.

The Figure continues to emerge, a nightmarish specter of an older world, slowly enveloping Ink5oul’s brash bravado.

Ink5oul reluctantly releases GWEN. She sprints away still gabbling as she flees.

The Figure does not move.

Beat. The Figure turns to Ink5oul.

The Figure breathes deeply, a strange and disconcerting sound, enveloped in pained whispers.

The Figure recedes.

Voice lines from episode 21:

"MINE"

"ALL OF THEM, MINE"

"THERE IS MORE"

"NO. NOT HERE. ELSEWHERE..."

So here's what I'm taking away from this list:

[ERROR] is at least in some way corporeal, in that they can interact with the physical world

They seem to do a lot of breathing. it is unpleasant to listen to

They appear to be followed around by whispers? I'm taking the transcripts' word on that one, because my hearing is crap and I can't hear the sound effect. But I'm including it because it might be relevant

They have either a powerful enough presence/aura, or did something visibly that we didn't hear, enough to make Ink5oul back down. Ink5oul, who three minutes ago cut off a man's arm because he thought about getting in their way. Ink5oul, who definitely was Not going to let Gwen go without a fight. Ink5oul, a powerful new avatar, backed down after barely a fight at all

"a nightmarish spectre of an older world" has terrifying connotations I am not yet ready to tackle!

So... to go through my points from earlier I guess aha:

THE TAPE RECORDERS

We've seen tape recorders pop up 3 times so far:

episode 10 in the Archivist's office

episode 15 when Alice encounters the drowning woman

episode 21 when Gwen is cornered by Ink5oul

Two of these, [ERROR] shows up directly. In episode 15, we have no [ERROR] that we can see, but we DO see someone who is very likely one of [ERROR'S] victims? after-effects? which leads into:

THE COMPELLED STATEMENTS

We've heard of 3 (4, ish) compelled statements so far:

episode 15, the drowning woman

episode 18, the woman who started speaking on the autopsy table

(arguably) episode 20, where Ink5oul gives a monologue that sounds Very Much Like a statement. However, the mechanism of how this happened is still unclear

episode 21, Gwen spontaneously starts giving a statement relatively coherently when she's been hysterical - immediately after Ink5oul's tattoo gun touched her skin, and literally three seconds before [ERROR] shows up and lays claim to her

Two of these are recorded on tape recorders, as above. One of them (Ink5oul's) is recorded on Gwen's phone.

Episode 18, according to the coroner's report, was transcribed longhand by the doctor while the victim was speaking. Presumably, they eventually loaded it into her chart, where it was picked up by Freddy. However, it feels significant to me that the initial recording of the statement was done in a non-digital way

THE MAGNUS INSTITUTE

Does this even need to be a section tbh? lol

I would like to point out some oddities from episode 10 that may or may not be relevant to [ERROR]:

Alice and RedCanary both specifically call out a weird floor carving in the atrium, that somehow survived the fire

The key to the trapdoor was at the bottom of a filing cabinet?

The LOCK on the trapdoor, which appears to have been keeping [ERROR] trapped, was on the UNDERSIDE of the trapdoor??

THE TIES TO GWEN

Please consider Gwen Bouchard for a moment.

Gwen is a young employee of the OIAR who's worked there for four-ish years. She's recently been promoted.

She's finding out very quickly that she's in over her head with this job, but doesn't feel able to ask her coworkers for help.

She's rash, and has a short temper, and has exacting standards, and doesn't think very highly of her coworkers. She's an ass, but she's not a bad person - when she realizes that something she did caused other people to suffer, she was genuinely horrified.

Her boss is deliberately obtuse and unhelpful. Her boss is deliberately sending her into dangerous situations without all the facts or even any information at all, making her go face to face with monsters with the power to seriously harm or even kill her.

All this, while she barely has any concept that the monsters she's been reading about are very real and very dangerous. She has, just moments ago, been visibly marked by a monster who's been stalking her with a stated intention to cause permanent, even fatal, injury

EDITED TO ADD: Gwen had a childhood encounter with something presumably supernatural. Something involving a door that shouldn't have been opened

It feels very, very in-character for Jon Sims, or what's left of him, or an Archivist that has any scrap of Jon Sims left in them, to see her and see her trajectory, and say "no, absolutely not." Jon Sims, who - last time we saw him - said "I'd rather kill our doomed world myself than make anyone in another hypothetical reality go through what I have."

"[She's] mine - all of them, mine." Gwen Bouchard, a young member of an office with a job she can't even begin to understand. Her coworkers: Alice Dyer, a friendly, sarcastic woman with a cheerful front and a younger brother she adores. Sam Khalid, a man far too curious for his own good, who will follow a lead into danger if it means he might get some goddamn answers. Colin Becher, a man who's starting to understand what they've been wrapped up in, and who is quickly letting it consume him. And Celia Ripley, a woman [ERROR] may or may remember or recognize from the last time they were anything approaching human

Jon, or what's left of him, or what he's become, seeing all the same parallels that the audience has been seeing since episode one, and deciding to do something about it. To be the protector he, and Tim, and Sasha, and Martin so desperately needed. Laying claim to the OIAR staff in order to prevent them from being harmed by other monsters. Helping in maybe the only way he can, as he is right now

And maybe I'm wildly off-base! Maybe I'll be proven wrong in episode 22, or episode 30, or episode 90! but the more I think about this meta the more I love it, and the more sense it makes to me

[sweetestpopcorn]

Why was Alysanne such a disaster match maker? She married the king - for love. But anyone else wanting the same is a monster. Apparently 30+ year old baelon required more protection that 15yo viserra.

And poor Daemon!. What do you think he feels about his match with Rhea-before that married. And did he resent Alysanne. I read in someone's post that it was to distance him as he was no longer the heir with Rhaenyra's birth. Do you think Alysanne felt daemon was a threat to Viserys reign.

Hi there, Anon! 🤗

Apparently *looking at you sideways with a cheeky smile* 😏someone forgot about how Alysanne spoke in favour of marrying Alyssa to Baelon and not Aemon saying that "Alyssa is for Baelon", and noticing that Aemon and Jocelyn had been getting cosy with each other. Someone also forgot that Daella had her pick and was not married to someone Alysanne decided was good for her.

Also, Baelon didn't need protection from Viserra, he could kick her out by himself 😂 Sorry, I had to go there.

Baelon's breeches to Viserra:

All jokes aside 😂 I think Alysanne's coldness towards Viserra was one of those moments in which George was probably tired and kind of forgot that until that point he had written Alysanne as a kind and considerate mother - even to Saera - so she did an 180º and treated her daughter like garbage instead of extending her the same level of choice and consideration she did her other children.

I understand that parents have their favourites, and sometimes you just can't connect with a child, but her treatment of Viserra is completely out of character and in my opinion, just something the plot required, not something that fitted the character of Alysanne.

As for Daemon, the plot demanded him to be married I guess XD I have no other justification. He was quite young when he was married - all that talk you had of Daella being too young just went out of the window didn't it Aly? cof cof - and after two marriages between House Targaryen and House Arryn, how much more ties to the Vale did they needed? Why was the Vale of Arryn getting their D sucked by Alysanne and Jaehaerys 24/7? I won't complain too much though since we needed said marriages to get Rhaebae. Aly, honey, you did great. Everyone pat yourselves on the back 😊

I guess it was also possible Alysanne wanted Daemon to inherit something and Rhea was the best young heiress available? Daemon XD why you no appreciate what your memah did for you?! Why you ungrateful?!

Alysanne and Jaehaerys to Daemon from the afterlife:

And did he resent Alysanne. I read in someone's post that it was to distance him as he was no longer the heir with Rhaenyra's birth. - if the place you read that was not Fire and Blood my advice would be to take it with a grain of salt and check the source material for further evidence (or lack there of).

But considering that possibility several things to unpack here:

1- Daemon earned his knight's spurs in 97 AC. Daemon married Rhea in 97 AC. Rhaenyra was born in 97 AC - we don't know which came first and it is a definite possibility that he could have been married by the time Rhaenyra was born.

2- After seeing Rhaenys being passed over in favour of Baelon, after seeing how quick her husband was to dismiss any woman as heir, why TF would Alysanne believe that Rhaenyra was heir after Viserys and not Daemon?

3- There is nothing to suggest to us Daemon's family saw him in a bad light. If they did, if Alysanne thought he wasn't a decent man, why did Jaehaerys give him Dark Sister? Something, mind you, he did not do with his own sons?

Final thoughts: Huge stretch, has no canon basis that I can see. Everyone please believe what you want, it's your right to do so, but I do not believe this or think it a possibility.

All the best to you, Anon 🤗

[football-in-tuxedos]

Since you like she-ra, do you have any thoughts on the racist/abelist stuff that noelle and the group said in their recent livestream?

Not sure why you’re coming to me with this, since I don’t talk about She-Ra all that often, but after digging around a bit to find out what the hell you’re talking about, yeah I got some Thoughts.

First, I wanna indicate that I’m not any of the affected groups involved here; I’m not black, non-binary, disabled, etc. so take what I have to say with a grain of salt.

That said, I do think that calling the comment “Racist” is an at-best deeply uncharitable read on a joke about how Bow has a brother named “Sow.” I’m not saying the comment is 100% on the level, it’s definitely insensitive but I don’t think it’s racist. She apologized for it immediately and I think that was probably wise.

That having been said

The fact that it’s gotten mixed in with other complaints that I don’t think are actually issues makes me think that it’s not actually an uncharitable read, I think it’s actively in bad faith. When you actually go and find the things that people are complaining about and dig into them for 30 seconds (The host said D*ke...as part of one of the crew’s podcast’s name. The stream said that Entrapta and Hordak are perfect representation...in a fan letter that the host read) you find the telltale signs of an argument that has been Ship of Thesused

Innuendo Studios has a video that talks about the Ship of Thesus argument in a great video (linked at the end, you should watch it), an argument that has had every part of it replaced until it’s basically not the same argument or accusation anymore. The example he uses is that the accusation that “Public Figure X doxxed Person Y” when what you actually mean is “Someone who worked for Public Figure X liked a tweet than contained Person Y’s name.” You can substitute pieces of the accusation in isolation but all together they form a completely different accusation, an attempt to make something unremarkable, remarkable. This worries me, for 2 reasons

1) As Innuendo Studios points out in his video, misrepresenting events like that isn’t just something the right does to the left, it’s something the left does to itself. We are so used to being burned by people that we are constantly ready to take a minor event and try to blow it up into something more than it is so that we can just get out ahead of it. We should stop doing that, and we should stop expecting our creators to be perfect; All that’s actually happened here is that the SPoP crew had a slightly insensitive behind the scenes joke, that the creator apologized for. People who are on twitter talking about how “This is the mask starting to slip�� are absolutely jumping the gun for no reason.

2) The fact that the discussion of the actual insensitive joke is getting mixed in with complaints that aren’t actually issues means that it’s very easy for people who have a desire to ignore issues have an easy out which is what worries me more. People should absolutely be more sensitive so they don’t make jokes like that, but when it’s side by side with a complaint about how the live stream said that two characters were perfect representation when they were reading a letter from a fan aloud it’s very easy to ignore that. It took us bloody ages to get people to realize the actual problems with Harry Potter because discussions of it always got mixed up in fandom bullshit and that made it easy for people to dismiss the whole thing as “Fandom bullshit.” When you’re making an argument badly, you’re not just failing at your job, you’re making everyone else who needs to make that argument’s job harder.

Here’s the video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ui-ArJRqEvU

[illfoandillfie]

ok sorry but how many people do yall think rog has ever slept with cos i’m guessing four figures no lie

okay, i don’t normally respond to messages like this because, frankly, i dont really feel like its my place to speculate on roger’s sex life. Theres a difference between writing a fiction story with a character named after and inspired by him and discussing his actual personal life which i have no real knowledge about. What he gets up to in his free time is between him and the women he does it with. but i didn’t really feel able to ignore this one. please don’t take this as me telling you off or shutting you down or anything like that. If you want to speculate about roger’s body count thats up to you, go nuts with it. and i love when you guys message me and I don’t want to discourage you from feeling like you can talk to me or just send me your random thoughts or whatever about any subject. But I feel like I need to address why I disagree with this sentiment. Also so I can ask ya’ll to please stop asking me questions like this. 

So firstly, just to get this out of the way. 1000 is a lot. even 100 is a lot. I think if rog had slept with 1000+ people he’d have a least a few illegitimate kids and probably would have been checked into rehab for sex addiction (not to mention STIs and such because lbr people in the 70s specifically probs werent the most careful especially if drugs were involved). I mean even if we were going to say Rog got lucky with a different woman after every show we wouldn’t reach 1000. According to google, Queen played around 700 shows in their entire career. If we add shows played by The Cross thats only another 67 odd shows (according to wikipedia). 

now, i think there are 3 things that contribute to this idea of roger as especially promiscuous. 1. His attitude/demeanour/general way he sells himself. 2. the generally held conceptions about rock stars and rock star behaviour. and 3. what i’m going to call fandom dumbassery (but i mean that with a lot of love) 

So lets start with the man himself. Roger Taylor is loud and opinionated and not particularly humble. He knows he’s talented and attractive though for at least some time he was a little self-conscious about how feminine he looked. He’s always up for a laugh, likes to party and has admitted to enjoying his drink and his women. He’s had kids with two different women, who’s relationships “overlapped”, and is currently married to a third. At least that’s the perception we can gleam from his interviews, behind the scenes videos, and other public appearances. 

It’s easy to see how that image leads to accusations of being a womaniser and a cheater and basically a bit of a slut lmao. But here’s the thing. I think Roger, in part, markets himself that way. The thing is, if you look at his solo songs and the relationships he currently has with his kids and their mothers, and things other people have said about him/his relationships over the years, I think it’s fair to say he also has a bit of a romantic streak maybe? idk if thats the best way of describing it...he’s self confessed to not being a fan of marriage and the like but he’s not opposed to writing and singing love songs and seems to believe in ~love~ as a concept/power. He certainly cares deeply for those closest to him. Whether or not that translates to an agreement with monogamy I can’t say for certain. It’s hard to draw conclusions here because a lot of what we know of his personal life was fed to us through magazines and news paper gossip column articles and they were never looking for the truth, they were looking for scandal and sensationalism. 

For instance the whole thing with the overlapping relationships. I think most people who have read anything about roger and dom and debbie realise that it’s not as cut and dry as “he was cheating with debbie and left dom for her” even though that was the story being sold by the press at the time. The reality (or at least the version closer to reality since obviously no one outside of them and whoever they were closest with knows all the nitty gritty details) is that rog and dom had already split when they got married. it was a marriage of convenience to make sure her and the kids would be looked after financially etc even after he’d moved out. So while it looked to the public like he married one chick and 30 odd days later was spotted with another, there really wasn’t anything untoward happening.  I’m not saying he never had casual hookups or one night stands and i’m not saying he never cheated, but I do think some of it’s been exaggerated, whether by him to encourage the rock star perception or by newspaper/magazine articles.

Now, obviously, we have stories of rog, particularly in the late 60s and into the 70s, being with multiple women. There’s that bit in the Interview with a Queen “Groupie” (which is a fantastic read and i defs recommend checking it out if you havent already) where she talks about roger being a chick magnet and says that, at the time, it was pretty common to sleep about. But, she also says she didnt notice him doing it more or less than anyone else and seemed to mostly be with Jo (his girlfriend at the time). This is the same Jo that got a mention in the Queen in 3D book (”i think we all had the feeling that these two were together for life, but it was not to be”). Conversely, we have that quote (which i cannot find rn but i’ll link it when i do) about roger sometimes having one girl upstairs while another waited in the garage for them to be finished. I think it was about Rog in the mid-late 60s in Truro but whatever. Obviously he wasn’t anywhere near celibate and it’s likely was sleeping with people outside of his relationship(s). But one has to assume that as he got older those kinds of antics stopped happening, at least as frequently.

There is one potential story that I remember reading somewhere along the way about Roger cheating on Debbie while she was pregnant. But, take that with a grain of salt because I can’t find the article again and also I think it was from like The Sun or something equally as rubbish. The press was notoriously always printing mean shit about the boys and that might have been another thing they published to create scandal. Even so, if we assume it’s legit that is still only 1 story. Not to throw him under the bus but Brian is the one with multiple confirmed affairs, who literally wrote songs about it all. So why is Roger the one with sleazy reputation? 

This is where my second and third points come in. There is a pervasive idea about what it means to be a rock star. The whole trashing hotel rooms, sleeping with groupies, passing out drunk every night thing. And I’m sure that Queen was like that to an extent. I think it’s pretty common knowledge that all of them got up to shit on the road. Between innuendo laden interviews and songs, videos and accounts of their parties, stories CT has put online, and other stories like the one of Roger bringing out lines of coke as dessert when he was having dinner with motley crue. They definitely embraced the rock and roll lifestyle. And I think with Roger’s personality being what it is, it’s easy to link him to those traditional rock star tropes and say it was all true all the time. I also think Roger has done nothing to counter those beliefs. He’s been open about how he wanted to be a rock star since the minute he picked up a guitar, he’s labelled himself as a great lay in magazines, he’s joked about girls pulling their tits out over dinner in interviews (though he said he didnt take her home), he’s written songs like One Night Stand and Dirty Mind and Airheads which explicitly mention his preference for women and alcohol. I think it’s fair to say he’s kind of encouraged that view of himself. Whether it was just a side effect of being part of such a well known band and having such a boisterous demeanour/personality, or whether it was intentional as a version of promotion i don’t know. maybe a mix of them? I mean I’m sure it didn’t hurt sales and stuff. it’s the whole guys want to be him, girls want to be with him thing, right? Maybe that’s just me being cynical though lmao. 

Anyway, the fandom brain has taken all of that and compressed it into memes and jokes about rog being the band slut. Which i’m not complaining about, lord knows i’ve made the same jokes and reblogged the same posts and used those tropes in my fics. They’re funny and lend themselves to interesting fic concepts. Plus, i think roger is the sort of person who would probably laugh about most of it. But it’s an idea that keeps feeding into itself through fandom, perpetuating what is probably a misguided view of his personal life.

Again, I am sure he’s had his fair share of fun and I’m not trying to make out that he was always perfect or whatever, but I don’t think he’s been with as many women as the popular discourse would imply and I certainly don’t think he’s in the 4 digit numbers. 

[bxffysxmmers]

real gods require blood

first thing's first: everyone in this ad should be between the ages of 25 and 30 with the exception of persephone who should be 23 - 26 and demeter who should be 27 - 30. genderbending is okay with me as long as you run it by me first because i don't want to have a million girls, i want it to be fairly balanced. everything said below should be taken with a grain of salt meaning if you put your own spin on it that is totally fine, the inspo is what matters.

additionally, only one or two characters should be from hogwarts, because the group is a group of people who are imports to the uk and the life they have here so please look towards the other wizarding schools for these. on site, i did link to some cool pinterest boards with some inspo for all of the different schools as well as a modern take on all of the different gods if you want to look at those when we open but i am not going to take up even more space here to do that and besides, it's just for inspiration, please please please make every single one of these guys your own.

now, for the actual ad, basically these guys are something of a found family. through their jobs, parties, socializing, exes, currents, whatever they all met and it was almost instant, that connection, that 'feels like i've known you my whole life' thing that came over them. and so they stuck together, even if it was just a group owl or once a year dinner party, they've all stayed in touch ever since despite distance, work, time constraints, and anything else that came between them.

the first pair that met and really started it all were aphrodite and hephaestus. they were on again off again, always a problem with time and where their lives were at, but the love is there. they've been friends since their time in school together and it never let up, that care. the rest of the group swear one day aphrodite will find a way to settle down and be with hephaestus but for now hephaestus deals with the on again off again because sometimes is better than never. and then aphrodite found god here, and another one, and their interconnections grew the group and now here they are, family without being blood, with ties running through them, cutting and caressing them all the same.

from there, feel free to just get with me and we can make it work. i'm going to be making a ship developer for them (including a timeline because it seems necessary so that we have some idea on who, what, when, and how) but the basis is a found family plot with interconnections that made this many people come to mean so much to one another. from there? go wild, get with me on any questions, and please have fun with it. some suggestions for interconnections are below in the applicable boxes but if you don't want to use them just talk to me.

something else i'd like to suggest but not require? more creatures! aphrodite is half-veela and having some other creatures in the group, even if they're 1/16th giant or something simple like that would be amazing. thanks guys!

ZEUS. OPEN. zeus drinks himself half to death at a bar. he no longer cares for mortals. he has long stopped trying to make this world turn. suggestions: brother to poseidon and hades. married to hera. affected greatly by the war. enters polyship with hera and hestia after cheating scandal. himbo energy.

HERA. OPEN. hera no longer praises marriage. instead she talks to the women. she tells them that men always lie, tells them to run. she wishes she could take her own advice. suggestions: married to zeus. enters polyship with zeus and hestia after cheating scandal. better than you.

POSEIDON. OPEN. poseidon still loves the sea but he could not hate mortals more. he feels the pollution of his domain like a phantom pain, raging that he could not protect his oceans from mortals. suggestions: brother to zeus and hades. affected greatly by the war. has a crush on demeter. moods like the sea.

DEMETER. OPEN. demeter isn't peaceful. she feels the dying of the earth and with it goes her happiness. she curses the mortals who caused this. suggestions: older sister of persephone. doesn't approve of hades. has a crush on poseidon. the mom friend.

ATHENA. OPEN. athena chainsmokes in an alleyway, and glares at ares as bloody knuckles and booted feet connect with battered bodies between them. the fight clubs are their temples now. suggestions: business partners with ares (wlw/mlm solidarity, y'all). just doing her best. definitely sapphic. possibly once had a thing with aphrodite.

APOLLO. OPEN. you find apollo in a nightclub on 55th and 3rd, his prophets writhing in intermittent darkness, bassline pounding in their ears, liqour coursing in their veins, smoke and strobe lights clouding their eyes. suggestions: twin brother of artemis. pansexual and everyone knows it. always chasing the next high, running from the lows.

ARTEMIS. OPEN. artemis spends the night in a jail cell, blood on her knuckles and on her shirt and in her mouth, the smell of metal lingering in the air. suggestions: twin sister of apollo. sapphic pls. the protector meets the vodka aunt. possibly once had a thing with aphrodite.

ARES. OPEN. you watch as ares starts a fight in a dive bar, takes a knife from his pocket and uses it without flinching, smiles as he wipes his blade on his thigh, smashes a bottle on the floor and lights a match. suggestions: business partners with athena (wlw/mlm solidarity, y'all). possibly once had a thing with aphrodite. just a boy, made of rage and the inability to express his emotions. looks like he'll kick your ass, will pull athena and artemis off of you in a fight, exhausted that he has to yet again.

APHRODITE. TAKEN BY ATHENA. aphrodite drinks your worship straight from your lips and chases it with a scotch, crashes a cigarette, flicks the ash on the floor and leaves without so much as a thank you. suggestions: on again off again with hephaestus. in love with hephaestus. most likely to have slept with everyone in the group, twice. intimacy issues? i do know her. i know her so well. someone help.

HEPHAESTUS. OPEN. you find hephaestus on college campuses, amongst engineering students. in times like this he is more relevant than ever, growing whilst other gods die. it seems that aphrodite is more keen on accepting his gifts now more than ever. suggestions: on again off again with aphrodite. in love with aphrodite. patience is a virtue. stubborn pride is a gift.

HERMES. OPEN. hermes is in the hustle and bustle of rush hour and the rush of the subway. he is perched atop skyscrapers, surveying the beautiful chaos of it all and lo, it is good. suggestions: brother to hestia. in a secret relationship with dionysus. lost family in the war. running to and for, never from. chaotic good gremlin energy. do not feed after midnight.

HESTIA. OPEN. hestia mourns broken homes, she waits for her family. she waits in the doorway, arms outstretched and a smile like forgiveness waiting to embrace the siblings whom she know will never return. suggestions: sister to hermes. doesn't approve of dionysus. lost family in the war. enters polyship with zeus and hera after cheating scandal. the mediator. why can't we all just get along?

DIONYSUS. OPEN. dionysus shoots up in a basement in the seedy side of town. he wants to forget the suffering that has filled his immortal life. suggestions: in a secret relationship with hermes. "gotta stay high, all the time, to keep you off my mind". heart of gold but no one ever seems to believe it. here for a fun time, not a long time, but thinking about that too much hurts.

PERSEPHONE. OPEN. persephone grins when people tremble. she is vengeful and wears flowers in her hair and she will make damn sure that the world will never forget her name. suggestions: younger sister of demeter. in love with hades. she's beauty, she's grace. she'll punch you in the face.

HADES. RESERVED FOR LIV. hades stalks the streets, hazy in the fog of the streetlamps, and he smiles, because people will always believe in death and worship riches. suggestions: brother to zeus and poseidon. in love with persephone. affected greatly by the war. secretly the most well rounded and good hearted of them all. how are you so pure, bro? who sent you?

[melobee]

30 Questions

Rule: answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you want to get to know better

G’day mates! Welcome to my 30 questions post! This one tagged me to do this. So yeah blame her for filling up your dashboard....jk love you Laura 💜

Question 1: Name/Nickname

Melissa is my full name but my nickname I’ve gone by since I was like 14 is ‘Melo’ (pronounced ‘Me-low’. So many people pronounce it as ‘Mello’ lmao). Mel is also a common nickname I get at work and such.

Question 2: Gender

Female She/Her

Question 3: Star sign

Ok I’m a nerd for Star signs so I’ll give a more detailed answer than necessary

Virgo ♍️ || 150-180 degree || The element associated with Virgo is Earth || The type of Earth I am is mutable || The planet associated with Virgo is Mercury || I’m most romantically compatible with a Taurus, Capricorn and Scorpio || I’m least romantically compatable with a Gemini, Aquarius and Sagittarius || My opposite star sign is Pisces || Traits of Virgos, they are Kind, Reliable, Patient, Loyal, Idealistic, Overthinking, Shy, Critical and sometimes Stubborn

Obviously this isn’t all Virgos so take this with a grain of salt but yeah just a little in-depth analysis.

Question 4: Height

168cm | 5’6 feet

Question 5: Time

My Timezone is AEDT. Right now as I’m posting this it’s 10PM 23rd December 2020

Question 6: Birthday

31st August 1999

Question 7: Favorite bands

Imagine Dragons, OneRepublic, Major Lazor, Fall Out Boy, X Ambassadors, Galantis, The Chainsmokers, The Script and Coldplay

Question 8: Favorite Solo Artists

Ellie Goulding, Ariana Grande, Khalid, Logic, Nicki Minaj, Sia, Marshmello, David Guetta, Lauv, Eminem, Dj Snake, Kendrick Lamar, Post Malone

Question 9: Current song stuck in my head

Hmmmm atm it’s definitely ‘fire meets gasoline’ by sia cause our boi Pedro is in the music video 👀

Question 10: Last Movie watched

The Santa Clause Trilogy lmao

Question 11: Last show

The Mandalorian to absolutely no ones surprise

Question 12: When did I create this blog

Oh jeez idek sometime in 2018 I think. I only really started to blog since watching S2 of the Mandalorian though. Needed to vent somehow lmao

Question 13: When Do I post

Same reason as above when I need to vent or when I feel strongly about something and feel confident enough to vocalise it which is very rare.

Question 14: Last Google

Ok for this I’m going to bend it a bit cause my recent searches is to do with Christmas gift buying and that’s boring. So I’m going to go with ‘Triple Frontier’. Cause a certain someone is in this movie 👀

Question 15: Other blogs

Nope this is my one and only!

Question 16: Do I get asks

Oh god no I’m not that cool lolllll

Question 17: Why I chose my url

It’s a combination of my nickname ‘Melo’ and my last name ‘Beesley’.

Question 18: Following Count

36

Question 19: Follower Count

43

Question 20: Average hours of sleep

Sleep? Wtf is sleep? I do not know of this sleep. As an insomniac and a night owl (I know double whammy) I don’t get much sleep at all maybe 5-6 hours if I’m lucky. My sleep is very broken, so I usually wake up like 2-3 times during the night. I try to go to bed at 11 and I usually wake up at 7 which I absolutely hate. I’m NOT a morning person at all. It’s worse cause it’s daylight savings rn so the sun is up at 5am. I swear I don’t know how I function sometimes.

Question 21: Lucky number

I don’t really have one???? I guess if I had to pick it would be.....54! thank you random number generator

Question 22: Instruments

Not really sure what this is referring to. If it’s referring to instruments I’ve played then the only one I can say is I played to recorder when I was like 7 and it was forced by my teacher so it doesn’t really count.

If it’s referring to my favourite instrument then probably an acoustic guitar. I love me some acoustic covers. Plus there’s so much variety with this instrument it can be both upbeat and happy or really slow and somber. It’s all around a just a great instrument.

Question 23: What I’m wearing

It’s night and it’s summer so just some shorts and a singlet. Anything more and I’ll die from drowning my own sweat.

Question 24: Dream Job

My dream job is to be a voice actor. Key word dream. My realistic dream job however is to become a pathologist.

Question 25: Dream Trip

Ohhhhhh boy I have so many places I wanna go to! My first priority would be the UK (England and Ireland specifically). Nearly all of my heritage is from there so I think it would be really cool to go back to my roots amd explore the culture my family is from.

Second on my list is America not too sure about all the states I want to go to but I know for a fact that California, Nevada, Wyoming, Montana, Texas (cause of N.A.S.A) and New York is a must!

Third is literally any Spanish speaking country whether it be Spain, Mexico, Colombia or Chile. Just anywhere that Spanish is the primary language.

Paris and Italy would be a solid fourth

Norway, Sweden and Finland would be fifth

Japan is 6th

I’m not really interested in visiting Africa, Indonesia the Middle East or Asia (except for Japan) and I wasn’t interested in South America either until recently.

Question 26: Favorite Food

I’m a sucker for pasta and Italian food! Ravioli in particular. It’s been my favourite since I was little. Chocolate is another big one. Any chocolate with caramel in it I will swipe from you.

I can’t do spicy foods I’m so intolerant to it like even the mild stuff makes my face go red and my tongue go numb it’s ridiculous.

Question 27: Nationality

Australian

My ancestry however is British/Irish/Ashkenazi Jewish. 75% Irish, 18% British, and 7% Jewish with less than 1% French and German.

Question 28: Favorite Songs

I get too personally invested in my music SMH

1800-273-8255 | Logic, Alessia Cara and Khaild

First Time | Kygo, Ellie Goulding

Treat You Better | RÜFÜS DU SOL

All the stars | Kendrick Lamar, SZA

Runaway | Galantis

breathin | Ariana Grande

Ocean Drive | Duke Dumont

Powerful | Major Lazor

lovely | Billie Eilish, Khalid

Let you down | NF

Elastic Heart, Fire meets gasoline, Big girls cry amd chandelier | Sia

Capsize | FRENSHIP, Emily Warren

Question 29: Last Book

Like physical book??? Oh lord I legit have no clue. I think the last time I read a physical book was in high school for English don’t ask what it was cause I have no idea lollll

Question 30: Top 3 Fictional Universes I want to live in

Miraculous, Star Wars, Assassins Creed

Annnnnnnd that’s it I’m done I guess! As for the 20 people I’m supposed to tag that’s just too high of a number there’s no way I have that many friends 😂. So I’ll only tag a few and if you don’t want to do this, just ignore 💜 See ya later!

@littlemisspascal @razordest @thisisthe-wayson

[annacwrites]

the wip list

Alright, gang. Buckle up. This is going to be a long one, and at this point I can’t even bring myself to be sorry about it. I meant to put this off but then I started thinking about it, so here we are (at 1:05 in the morning when I have to work at 8:30, what am I doing?). 

I’m going to break this down in a couple of ways—fanfiction vs. original fiction, fandom (if it’s a fanfic), series/universe (if it’s in one), and then the individual books themselves (if I have the ability to do that, because quite frankly, for some of these I don’t because I have no idea what the titles are or where I’m splitting the story yet).

Also, “WIP” is an incredibly broad term here. In some cases it means I’ve already written the whole thing but I plan to 100% rewrite it (and haven’t started yet). In some cases it means I’ve written half of the thing but haven’t finished yet. In some cases it means I have it all outlined but haven’t started writing yet. In some cases it means I haven’t really touched an outline on paper yet but I have it all worked out in my head. Take the “in progress” part of WIP with a grain of salt.

(Putting this whole thing under the cut because it is so freaking long. I apologize if the read-more doesn’t work on your dash. Idk what tumblr is doing.)  

Starting off easy—the fics:

Harry Potter: (JKR can fuck off with her transphobia and cultural appropriation and all the other stupid and fucked-up shit that she’s done/promoted but, as I said to my friends, she can pry my next-gen fanfics from my cold dead hands. Cursed Child is not canon in my life because I’ve never read it and I don’t care what nonsense she came up with.)

The “In Your Arms I’ll Stay” universe (Tedtoire/Scorose): 

The first fic in this universe is the first fic I ever finished. 110k words followed up by a ~137k word sequel. It is a disaster and a half but it’s also my baby and I fully intend to rewrite it one of these days. It is full of standard Tedtoire trope-y nonsense—best friends since childhood! two-year age gap! jealousy about other relationships! obliviousness!—and at 15 I thought it was a really good idea to try to turn it into a mystery too, which is a mistake that I have every intention of rectifying because it was unnecessary and I just didn’t know how to do drama and tension back then. 

Anyway. It will probably be two parts again when I rewrite it because one part per school year just works, yeah? We’re covering Vic’s fifth/Teddy’s seventh year and Vic’s sixth year/Teddy’s first year out of school over the course of these parts.

Within this universe we also have Heartbeat and Bone, which is a Scorose fic that I’ve written probably 75% of already but have no intention of actually finishing before I rewrite it. I want to get the stories in the right order so that I can get details straightened out, so Teddy and Victoire get the rewrites first and then I’ll be revisiting this fic. Also full of trope-y nonsense (and my continued acceptance of the headcanon that the Heads have their own dormitory at Hogwarts, because it’s just too much fun that way).  

some things were meant to be (Tedtoire):

Oh god, another fic with a cliché title taken from Can’t Help Falling In Love. I have zero regrets because it fits them perfectly.

This one is... half-done? I fully intend to finish it but I need to finish the outline first. It was my 2019 NaNoWriMo project and I am 100% just writing it for the lols (and because Teddy and Vic are like... my comfort ship where writing is concerned). I wanted to play with a different universe and change up their relationship and roles at school a bit, but once again... trope-y nonsense. It’s unavoidable with them. There is obliviousness everywhere. 

Star Wars: (it’s Reylo, okay? It’s Reylo. I don’t want to hear it about how the ship is ~so terrible.~ That is literally the furthest thing in the world from a hot take, you can’t say a single thing that I haven’t heard before, and I’m a grown adult and can do what I want. Bite me.)

looking for the map that leads me home (Reylo): 

Stole the title on this one from We Take Care of Our Own by Bruce Springsteen, because why the fuck not, right? 

To put it simply: musician AU. To put it a little less simply: he’s got a dead career, she wants to have even the slightest shot at one, Rose is the best, Poe’s a singing heartthrob, Finn is a love-struck goofball. You know, all that fun stuff. The entire thing is based on a playlist that I made and every chapter has a song that acts as its theme. I haven’t touched it since January 2018. I want to finish it eventually but it’s not really at the top of the priority list. 

There’s a few other fics from other fandoms that I’ve started and never finished but the odds of me touching them again are like... nonexistent, so I’m not including them here. I’ll update this post if anything changes on that front (but it probably won’t).

Now for the complicated part—the original fiction:

Maker’s Magic 

This is a trilogy (or at least, it’s supposed to be). This is also a rewrite of the first story I ever finished—the fantasy novel that I wrote for my first-ever Camp NaNoWriMo back in August of 2011, when I had literally no clue what I was doing at all and essentially stole the plot structure from The Obsidian Trilogy by Mercedes Lackey and built my own story around it. This is not a good way to write a piece of fiction that you want to publish, kids, but it is a damn good way to get your feet wet when you’ve never really written before.

I am reworking this story entirely from scratch. The characters are... kind of the same as the original story. Kind of. Maybe. I’ve changed a few names and merged a few people together and scrapped some others and entirely shifted the backstory of pretty much everyone, but... they’re definitely still the same, right? 

Basically, at this point the plot is really only similar to The Obsidian Trilogy in that we’ve got a trilogy, we’ve got some elves, and it’s your standard good vs. evil fantasy story (in its own unique fashion, of course). I’m still working out the details of this rewrite, but this is kind of the Holy Grail of all of my writing projects and the one that I’m most concerned about getting right, so I’m anticipating that I’ll be in it for the long haul on this one. I’m hoping I might be able to get a draft of the first book done this year, but... we’ll see.

(I also don’t want to give too many details about this project, ‘cause it’s the one that I’d really like to maybe publish one day, so...)

The Willow Hill universe

This started as a single story plus a standalone sequel set in the same universe, conceptualized when I was fourteen and missing horseback riding terribly (so yes, it is a story for all those Weird Horse Girls™ out there). I wrote a good portion of it, then deleted it, then rewrote the entire thing, then deleted it again a few years ago because I was no longer satisfied with the writing quality (after hitting top 100 on the Teen Fiction list on Wattpad way back when, so... I didn’t do too badly as a 16-year-old, but the writing still sucked). I’ve been promising a rewrite to my Wattpad followers since 2016 or something like that (2014? Whenever the hell it was that I deleted it the second time) but haven’t delivered at all.

I now envision this universe as a duology plus the aforementioned standalone sequel, except it’s not entirely fair to call it a YA duology in that the first book is definitely YA, but the second is more romance-y?

I originally just revealed the main character’s endgame relationship in the epilogue of the story, but I love both her and her boyfriend and their relationship so much that I decided that I’m going to be self-indulgent and write the story of them actually falling in love with each other, so that’s book two (so really, you don’t actually have to read book two to understand anything, I’m just writing it because I want to and it’s also kind of a present to anyone who read the original story when they were also a teenager and is now an adult who wants to read other stuff). 

Book one is now about the teenage struggle of crushes and trying to figure out what it is that you actually want out of your life and what you value (I say “now” because it was definitely way more self-insert-y the first time I wrote it and it is decidedly not at this point). It’s also sort of a love letter to trainers who are amazing and the kind of person we should all be so lucky as to be coached by.

These characters are my comfort characters where original fiction is concerned since they’ve been bouncing around in my head for the last ten years or so, and I’m hoping I can get at least the first book rewritten in the next year-ish, partly because I’ve been promising it for so long, and partly because I just really enjoy this world and I want to get back to it again.

The Coffee Shop Chronicles

AKA, I lived in one coffee shop on my university campus for pretty much the entirety of my college experience and it was a very inspiring place to be, so this has less to do with coffee shop AUs and more to do with the fact that I met several of my favorite human beings on this earth over a vanilla chai latte and mutual sass with the baristas.

(One of said baristas is very near and dear to me and introduced me to another regular who is now a very good friend with the statement “You’re both sarcastic assholes. You’ll love each other.”) 

None of the characters in this universe are based on actual human beings whom I know, but I liked the idea of the campus coffee shop serving as this thing that tangentially connected all of these people to one another, much in the way that I am tangentially connected to god knows how many people via my barista friend. Essentially, the idea is that the stories in this universe are all standalone, but the characters sometimes cross paths with one another at Caffeinated, so it’s sort of... Easter-egg-y in terms of who pops up where in which story. 

Currently I only have two stories in this universe that are legitimately plotted out, but there is room for any number of spin-offs based on whichever characters show up in those stories (or don’t—that’s the fun of it being a coffee shop. The barista is the only reliable character). Those two stories are as follows:

Chance Encounters (title so totally subject to change, also stealing the terribly summary from the Wattpad draft that never saw the light of day):

For Bennett McGuire, things with guys just didn't seem to want to go her way. From the disasters that were her attempts at dating in high school to the problem that had been Elijah Becker, she hadn't exactly had the best luck. With all that in mind, it made perfect sense to swear off dating until she finished college—that is, it made sense until one frozen day in February when Gordon Evans walked into her life. After that, who was to say what would happen?

What’s Your Metaphor? (once again, enjoy the terrible summary from the Wattpad draft that never was. I am cringing reading it but also too tired to come up with anything better):

"What's the point?" 

It's a question asked widely, for all sorts of reasons, and it's one that April Hayes didn't know the answer to any better than anyone else. All she knew was that she had her plan, and she was going to stick to it, because it was the only thing that seemed to have any sort of logic to it in her life. The things she thought, the things she believed—well, they all fell before the plan, because she didn't have time to ask herself "What's the point?"

That is, she didn't have the time to know the answer—her answer—until one guy by the name of Drew Collier showed up and made her consider things that she had never even thought of before.

High Blood

Yinz can go read my WIP introduction post for this one. It’s a fantasy story. Just for the hell of it, here’s the summary from said WIP introduction post: 

At the age of seventeen, Thessaly of Averak had a choice—take the crown of her people and her place as her father’s heir, or set it aside to become one of the High Warriors, dedicated to protecting their people and the country that her long-dead ancestor Enred built after leading its citizens out of a long and bloody war. Amidst raids and famine at the borders, she gave up her crown to better serve the people that her family rules.

Ten years later, all is quiet. At least, all is quiet until Beca’s pendant is stolen by a thief who disappears into the night on the journey back from the summer palace, Tess gets herself stabbed, and the discovery is made that the rock-solid foundations of their family’s claim to the throne—and the peace that depends upon them—are laced with hairline fractures.

(I didn’t write anything to speak of for Camp NaNo July 2020 and actually wound up deleting my project for this on the NaNo site because my dad was hit by a car while cycling the Friday before the weekend when I was planning to write like... 30k words to catch up, so obviously I gave up on that plan (he is doing well now, thank you for asking). I’m hoping I’ll get around to this one eventually because this particular universe arguably has the most potential for having multiple stories set in it, fantasy-wise.)

Emerson’s Lights

Natalie Flynn has been best friends with Evan Acheson practically since birth. They've stuck together through thick and thin, from her braces in seventh grade to his jump to stardom as a singer-songwriter their freshman year of college. 

She’d do anything for him, but spending a week with him on tour involves a lot more than she bargained for, culminating in the turn of events that is Caleb Blake, lead singer and primary songwriter of opening act Emerson’s Lights, moving into her house for the better part of a month.

She always knew there would be complications being the best friend of a rock star, but this? This was one that she didn’t bet on.

(Aka, girl meets boy in a band trope. Yay.)

(NaNoWriMo 2020 project)

The famous musician story (this thing doesn’t have a title right now and I’m not even going to try)

Stupid, trope-y nonsense idea that I came up with for my own personal amusement and nothing else. I’ve written a few chapters of it but genuinely have no idea where this falls in the hierarchy of things that I want to get done. Long story short, she’s in grad school for history, he’s a famous musician in town recording for a new album, they meet in the library, she pretends she has no idea who he is, and shenanigans ensue.

And that is where I think I’m going to leave it. There’s four other stories that I can think of off the top of my head that I could theoretically add to this list, but they are legitimately just ideas right now so they can be added at a later date when they’ve manifested themselves a little more strongly. There’s also another quartet in the Willow Hill universe that I came up with in high school that could theoretically be added but I think I might just steal those character names and give them their own little world instead. We’ll see.

Basically, if you didn’t get the point from this list: I am working on a lot of things, and when I say I’m writing, it could mean literally anything on this list (or any of the other ideas that I have floating around). The stories/universe here are the most likely candidates for my time, depending on whether I’m doing a deep dive into my writing or just playing around with something fun, and hopefully (god, hopefully) I’ll be able to move one or two of these to a “completed works” list in the next year(ish). 

(Or at least, as complete as a draft ever gets before you start going in on it again.)

[w34rdk1dc0r3]

Why Killed Markiplier EXPLAINED (notes)

Hi these are my notes- they’re very sparatic and hard to understand but I figured y’all might want them. They were made while watching Markiplier’s latest stream—the time stamps are for DAMIEN and when Mark paused to explain. I don’t have the time stamps for where he explained everything though!! Sorry!

TLDR; this is me frantically taking notes on whatever Mark said related to DAMIEN. :)) these are unedited, so take the spelling errors and stuff with a grain of salt.

WKM notes:

-0:57 (Go Back to Sleep reference) “oh these are parallels - yeah you’re right these are parallels”. Opening shot of Damien from 0:04 of GBTS. Go back to sleep = wanted to make Damien. “This is the mood I want”. DIRECT PARALLEL.

-Opening, establishing, environment. THIS IS JUST HOW FAR DAMIEN WENT EVERY DAY; HE HAD TO GO THIS FAR JUST TO GET WOOD. VERY LONG WALK.

-1:05 Celine is an observer, waiting for him to come back.

-2:11 Wanted to flesh our Celine as a character. Celine = Unknown. “I am not a perfect writer, I’m not a great writer; I’m better than I was.” Celine introduced as not a perf character: motivations UNKNOWN/never determined. “Don’t trust the seer” =\= don’t know what she does/represents. Damien brother/sister canon; had something to care for. THERE TO PROTECT HER BROTHER!!!!! Damien has simple job.

-3:22 “mostly like- I wanted to write dialogue to establish relationship” Celine = overprotective controlling older sibling. Nice dynamic/friendly/showcase flower is not normal. THINGS ARE LOOPING; Celine stops “did u really see a flower?”; strange. SQUISHED. “Starting to sound like mom”

-3:30ish Damien SUDDENLY GETS TIRED. On a LOOP. Winter will be over soon. Trees covering hills = every day he goes to cut a tree. Endless trees. Living SAME EXACT DAY. Celine goes out at night to do business/job. NUMBER OF TREES NOT THE POINT. PURGATORY. FLOWER = FIRST CHBGE.

-4:40 flower: PINK!!!!! dialogue EXACT LINES from WMLWS. Winter -> spring, leaving purgatory. Flower = warfstache peeling back layers covering up world/crack code of matrix/starting to spread out. Flower just a result of warfstache coming to terms with what’s happening and where it’s going. Time is wishy washy. Time has no start or finish of it. Exists = always existed. Everything unified space, someone breaking rules over HERE spills out and effects others in that place. Rules change = rules change for everyone. Dialogue saying that THIS is a RESULT of warfstache, not!!! a conscious choice.

-5:21 pattern!!!!! established

-6:52 something is definitely changing and Celine is worried. Celine goes out to HUNT FOR ACTOR!MARK, NOT TO GUARD. GONNA KILL ACTOR!MARK. Go back to sleep/wake up: duality of two characters having to share a body. Celine made THIS place for broken things(Damien!!). Celine made mistakes in WKM; misjudged actor capabilities. Celine always tries to protect Damien!!!’ she would do LITERALLY ANYTHING to protect Damien. “YOU NEED SLEEP”-damien can stay “alive” only because he sleeps. Not getting enough sleep= you absolutely need to sleep while Celine is out bc you can only be yourself if that is so.

-7:45 bc warfstache is unintentionally breaking universe they’re in, actor!mark can take advantage of it. NOT deception. This day is important because change started NOW—everything before was looping. Damien cutting wood/useless task = Celine’s stuff in an endless loop too (finding mark). SOME control, not IN control. No one is IN CONTROL. Matter of them both being in purgatory until warfstache comes to term with his place in the world.

-8:32 can see shadow of figure in ice.

-9:33Damien’s led to believe Celine is in the water lol. Door of cabin locked from outside. (Flower)= no meaning. “Everything is very plain. With this, it is similar. Everything is very plain.” Too focuses on the details. Winter = seems like purgatory.

-10:02 voices - wanted something to fill the spaces of everything. Auditoría Kay engaging. Hearing things behind the scenes. “Why are you hearing voices?” Not abt what the voices are saying.

-10:13 Actor!Mark; very hard to voice 2 diff characters and have them sound remotely different.

-11:01 Wilford/A!Mark same line. Convey two different people who both (at this time of story) were saying apologies. TWO confrontations happen = similar (detective warfstache/Damien Mark). Similar convos, different people. Things happen in different ways because who they are. Will actually says an apology, actor mark NEVER apologizes.

-12:07 very first conversation we have with the actor. ONLY SAID ONE LINE “welcome welcome one and all, etc.” If something is not ON THE SCREEN or implied in some way, it isn’t 100% proven. Going through summary is PROOF of his crime. “Plans weren’t exactly properly executed”. What he wanted only happened 50%

-13:01 “Celine needed to have motivation to have a character/drive”. Can’t just say actor wanted revenge without painting the kind of person he is. He can’t imagine other people not loving that; thinks he’s doing Damien a favor. HES A NARCISSIST. “Nobody is fully evil or fully good”. Reason he thinks he’s the hero is bc if his perspective, he IS; everyone else is the villain/did him wrong.

-13:43 “oh yeah Wilford STOLE Celine from me lol” STUPID AND NARCISSISM WACK. His career tanked after she left. “It’s her fault bc he lost everything”. “I’m gracious because I decided to move on”.

-14:28 Damien starting to remember but doesn’t understand everything; big dummy softy. Doesn’t realize he’s KINDA dead. Rotten corpse = his reflection.

-14:59 actor wants MORE characters in his story; he wants a villain. Confusion of what you’re supposed to do- represents Damien’s confliction “when do I have a CHOICE??”

-15:30 for so long Wilford/actor have been “If Celine even saw me she would rip my heart out”; “Celine is a FUCKISBNG badass.”

-16:18 Damien just wants to make a choice “life is ours to CHOOSE”. Fire going out = Damien feels dead. Cold, dead.

-17:07 music=wanted to carry on emotional connection. Celine: “I’m tired” she has never slept; watching, hunting, NOT RESTING. Celine is a creature of willpower that she powers through it. Damien: “Am I dead?” Celine: “NO!!” Not on my watch; wall cracking-> sanctuary crumbling. “...no” :(( “I’m so tired”. Celine both starts to admit defeat, but then she picks herself back up. Damien cares so much about her and is very protective about her. Shared line: “just be careful/I can take care of myself (I don’t need help, especially from you.” If she keeps going down this path, she’ll never get out of it (same thing with Abe). Damien/Will want to help.

-17:23 “I know you can’t take care of me forever”; Damien making a choice, IMPORTANT. He trusts that Celine is trying to do the best for him; knows whatever she’s doing/her motives are, at the end of the day, she’s his sister and he wants to help. Whether or not that means things will change for him. Damien’s one moral: This is a story about coming to terms that life throws at you. About someone that didn’t choose things to happen to them, but (In mark’s mind) it’s not about what happens, it’s about how you respond. The choices you make when that happens; it may not always work out but those choices define who you are as a person. At the end of it all, Damien doesn’t understand but he knows Celine can’t do “this” alone.

-17:54 Damien knows he can’t go back to the life he had, and he’s okay with that. “He’s OK that Celine tried to fix, but trying to fix him will get her killed. And he’s okay with him not being fixed”.

-19:49 Celine has been doing everything herself; Damien is offering help. CELINE ISNT DEAD HECK YEAH. “This isn’t a place of the mind-“ fake water. SHE IS SLEEPING UWU UWU. MARKIPLIER TV INSTANTLY AFTER THIS.

-EXTRAS:

•Overarching meaning/story: “These are stories.” In the universe, the world they live in after WKM is stories. They’re acting our scripts/videos because they are characters in stories. It doesn’t matter what was said, it matters why. Celine/Damien live in that story because she made up a narrative for them. Nothing happening in DAMIEN is truly real. Actor wants the ideas of hero’s/villains, he wants to imagine and play pretend. The house is just an analogy for Mark’s imagination/head. CANON that there are plot holes.

EX Detective Abe: (WMLWS) He is going to be the detective in every story. Whatever detective role he needs to be. Doesn’t know why he has to hunt Will down. Hasn’t lived “The Detective”’s life, so he doesn’t know the details, doesn’t have the script. Wilford is acting out of the script because he isn’t IN the script; he’s having FUN.

•Damien: empathy / Warfstahce: insanity, zany, doesn’t always make sense, goofy, fun!!! / ACTOR: Narcissistic part of Mark.

•In “this universe” (the Masson/mark’s Brain), characters act out their lives-> transformed where life doesn’t make sense.

•Not all characters are a part of MARKIPLIERS personality. Characters not representing mark were before actually mark. Went in the mansion ->they were trapped there, the mind (of another Mark?).

•The viewer is, under those terms (an observer), right there, behind the class. They’re the viewer.

•After WKM, we’re watching everything unfold. We’re forced to be an observer -> we can’t change or do anything, only watch. We aren’t trapped with the characters.

•In CANON, Damien -> Markiplier TV.

•A Date with Markiplier doesn’t wrap in with this. Everything happens AFTER WKM.

•Actor SPIRALED bc he couldn’t accept that he lost roles/his wife left him. His choice was to create a situation that tore his entire friendship/ppl that cared abt him apart. He killed/destroyed lives/did terrible things bc that’s how he replied.

•Warfstache was thrown into situation where former friend contrived a situation that took everything away from him. Justification was madness; things didn’t make sense to him so he choose to role with it and enjoy things while they were there. Temporary nature of life is why it’s so precious. Lives in the NOW, the MOMENT.

•Damien has no choice of what was happening. Didn’t understand why his friends tore themselves apart/Will didn’t care/Mark dead/sister suddenly there performing occult things. He was robbed and had things stolen from him; he’s the kind of person that wants to help, he also wants revenge. But the point is: the choices that led him to where he was were choices that helped the ppl he cares abt.

•Who is the character in this universe that is the opposite of Mark (what he said abt darkiplier)?

[snkpolls]

SnK Chapter 112 Results

The chapter poll closed with 1706 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

RATE THE CHAPTER 1,664 Responses

No doubt about it, chapter 112 was lit. 77.1% of the fandom gave this chapter a top rating making it the third most popular chapter since we started the poll.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH

After more than 5 years reading these series I'm not sure if I can get any more broken than this, but Isayama-sensei surely will find a new way

Probably one of the most start to finish exciting and fascinating chapters we've had in a long time.

I have nothing but praise for this chapter and the discussion it has generated. Both Eren & Levi's parts were equally emotionally compelling. All in all I feel like crying in a corner now until the day comes with Mikasa smiles again and Levi stops suffering.

At this point, Eren is the greatest character in AoT, one of the greatest protagonists ever, Attack on Titan is one of the greatest manga ever and Hajime Isayama is one of the greatest mangaka ever.

Best chapter since 100 for sure. The EMA talk was delivered in the best and least expected way possible, and Eren absolutely killed it this chapter.

Can a manga chapter kill a person?

I've enjoyed lots of recent chapters, but this is the first one in a good while that I've loved all-out. Gimme dat good juice Isayama!

Eren whyyyyyy

I normally would have spent my time stressing out about Falco, but my god what a phenomenal chapter. 

This manga is the only toxic relationship i want in my life.

WHAT WAS THIS CHAPTER’S MOST MEMORABLE MOMENT? 1,669 Responses

Eren’s relentless roast session takes first with 28.3% of the vote. Armin punching Eren was second with 16.6% and EMA in the chapter vs. EMA on the cover was third with 14.6%.

Me crying this all through

The Titans falling from the sky

Zeke warming up then running away

My heart was absolutely broken for Mikasa. I want to pull her out of the manga, wrap her up in a blanket, dote on her and tell her everything's going to be okay. Eren, damnit, tell her you're sorry and that you love her!

I'm glad Nicolo admitted his guilt and wanted to atone/redeem himself

Let's hope Falco won't become the sink titan for now.

ON A SCALE OF 1-5, HOW DID THIS CHAPTER MAKE YOU FEEL? 1,653 Responses

A third of all respondents feel dead inside, while ¼ are still fully in denial and think everything will be fine. Either way, our psyches need some TLC. This question was brought to you by Betterhelp.org. #notsponsored.

Everything hurts and I'm dying.

HELP ME

I loved it but Im suffering af

it was absolutely depressing

this killed me inside

I want to die now

It hurts

Took my mental stability away😂👌💯

See y’all in therapy.

DO YOU BELIEVE ONYANKOPON IS INNOCENT? 1,660 Responses

When it comes to Onyankopon’s intentions, it seems we’re still as lost as ever. Over 4 out of 10 respondents don’t have clue where his loyalties lie. Nearly 3 out of 10 respondents think he’s trustworthy, while almost exactly the same amount of people think he’s full of crap. Also, there weren’t any write-ins about Onyankopon, but with everything else going in this chapter, we’re not entirely surprised.

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE EMA TALK? 1,649 Responses

Nearly 50% of you are not pleased with how the EMA talk turned out, while a little over 30% actually enjoyed recent developments. 15% of people now realize why we didn’t include “EMA talk” as an option for the “things you’re looking forward to in the next chapter” question (it was because we forgot, but I guess it worked out fine?)

3 words: God damnit Eren!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I loved it but it was awful, in a good way

Eren is obviously lying about hating them but until we know why all I feel is pain. Mikasa and Armin didn't deserve this.

Everything fell apart in the worst way possible

I don't buy Eren's words here, but I'm so satisfied at seeing Armin punching him in the face

I felt personally attacked, gutted, and murdered by Eren but I liked it

I was absolutely torn to pieces by it. Seeing the bond that they had/have grow and change, to seeing them go their separate ways is hard to watch, especially with the dreams we've seen them share and work to accomplish.

Eren has bad table manners

DO YOU THINK EREN IS CORRECT ABOUT ARMIN BEING MANIPULATED BY BERTHOLDT? 1,664 Responses

In our chapter 110 poll, we asked about why Armin wanted to touch Annie in the crystal. At that time, 26.8% of respondents felt he was being influenced by Bert through Paths.

Now, it seems more complicated. 62.9% feel like Eren isn’t correct, but not completely wrong about Armin being manipulated by Bertholdt. 18.1% think this isn’t the case at all, and 13.3% feel that Bert is influencing Armin’s actions.

He claims Armin is being influenced by Berthold. If Armin can be influenced by one titan, what about Eren with his three titans? I'm not sure he's being controlled but he's probably heavily influenced.

There's something more that we don't know about yet since we (and characters in the manga) are constantly being surprised by his actions. Eren's not wrong, but I don't think he's right either. He's saying he's doing everything out of his free will (cause I guess he's not ignorant about possible influences of the memories he has), while Armin and Mikasa are being manipulated, but maybe he's overestimating the power of his free will and accepts ideas that are passed down to him along with memories as his own. Or maybe he's really fully aware he's also being manipulated but uses it to his advantage somehow.

Also if Eren thinks that Armin being controlled by Bertholdt is a bad thing, he’s wrong because now Armin is two best boys for the price of one.

My baby Bertholdt is relevant again and I live for it

ACKERMYSTERY REVEALED!! DO YOU THINK EREN’S GOT THE CORRECT VERSION? 1,664 Responses

Ackermystery revealed! Or is it? 62% of respondents believe we only got partially correct information from Eren. 22% are confident Isayama is wasting no panel space on false information and 10% are certain that the information is flat out wrong.

I don't think he is totally correct. Mikasa's bond and strenght isn't solely explained by her ackerman DNA, as well as Levi. He awakened his abilities way before he met Erwin. Both of them aren't slaves of his DNA and destiny.

Partially but not fully accurate. I think there's definitely truth to what he said, but either not every... Ackerman... works the same or there are different 'levels' to the bond. He also definitely might have been exaggerating to be a douchebag, because I can't imagine how he'd think Mikasa was a slave to him when she's blatantly gone against him in the past, sometimes even physically hurting him to make a point or get him to stop doing something.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF EREN’S EXPLANATION OF THE ACKERMYSTERY? 1,656 Responses

Nearly half of respondents feel that this new information adds another layer of complexity of the Ackermans’ relationships. ¼ of voters agree that it simply makes sense, while 13% are not the biggest fans of Eren’s explanation.

Eren just replied a harsh version of it (just to protect her and let Mikasa get away from him) OR he was manipulated by Zeke with this shadowy version of the truth behind the Ackerman family

I believe his explanation of things is warped; I think Eren's explanation has some truth, but his own feelings made him jump to conclusions (e.g. Mikasa's feelings are ALL based on her Ackerbond)

Eren only understands part of it. Mikasa unlocked her powers fighting the kidnappers but formed a close bond with Eren when he wrapped the scarf around her. Those are two separate moments.

He's lying, the ackermanns haven't followed the king for the entire time they have been inside the walls, he just wants Mikasa and Armin to stop blindly following and worshiping him

Let's not jump to conclusions, we don't know if Eren's lying or if he even has the correct information. Everything should be taken with a grain of salt.

I believe it's far more complex than Eren's half assed "explanation". While it is in the Ackerman genes to find someone to bond with, it's far from a master slave relationship.  And Erwin and Levi are a proof of that. If the slave theory was true, Levi would inject Erwin with serum, his dna would prevent him from allowing Erwin to die, because humanity needs him. But he chose Erwin. He chose to set him free. I think Eren meant that Mikasa was a slave for her feelings towards himx otherwise Eren looks like a complete idiot.

I think that he has very basic or oversimplified facts. What he's saying makes sense, but I feel there is a lot of grey area that he's not considering. Mikasa is still her own person. Her feelings toward him are genuine. Not to mention, Levi and Kenny both awakened the powers without an ackerbond, so....

DOES EREN BELIEVE THE CRUEL WORDS HE SAID TO ARMIN AND MIKASA? 1,657 Responses

At a near even split, respondents are either certain that Eren didn’t believe the hurtful things he said to Armin and Mikasa, or they are completely unsure. Less than a quarter thinks he truly believes in what he said.

I can't shake the feeling that this isn't 100% him. The hurtful words still feel like an act to push Armin and Mikasa away from him, rather than actually aiming to hurt them

what Eren said was gasp worthy. No one would have though he actually hated Mikasa. I do think that’s how he actually feels about Mikasa, as he said everything he will do is just him.

Whether Eren actually meant it when he said he’s alwaa hated Mikasa or he’s just trying to break the ackerbond, it’s too far, he broke her down and stomped on her repeatedly, it breaks my heart because Mikasa’s worse fear and true, she lost her last family member

Eren's words are not his own. Trust me.

I think that eren is TRYING to make his friends hate him by saying these things so when the time comes and he has to die, they won’t miss him as much. What I’m saying is, Eren is trying to be less connected to his friends so that his death won’t be too hard on them and they move on with their lives rather than having regret and mourning his death never continuing their lives the same way ever again

To be honest, I'm not all that surprised Eren would tell Mikasa what he did. While there are times that he has shown concern, friendliness, etc he's also had his moments of showing her some rather explosive anger. Whether it's real, all him or not, I don't know-nor am I concerned about it- but I do think it is something to be taken into account.

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT EREN NOW? 1,653 Responses

30% of voters just want to understand what Eren is up to and are concerned about where his head is at. ¼ of voters think he is just plain full of crap, 22% find his actions unforgivable and a small 15% are ready for him to lead the country immediately.

Conflicted. Best written protag in a long, long time.

A common theme in this story is the need to do something monstrous for a perceived greater good.  We don't know what Eren's goals are yet and I'm content waiting to find out before judging him.

Eren is either poorly written or his mind has been altered by Zeke somehow.

I think it’s another interesting character development for Eren. The flashbacks showed that he was starting to see his friends this way. After gaining his father’s memories, that changed everything for him.

He is still good, he hasn’t changed in terms of mindset he has become more mature and is looking at things from a different perspective. People always relied on him to make the most important descision, now he’s doing it on his own like Kaneki if u ask me. It’s like when you constantly call someone a monster, that they aren’t. they will eventually become one

I wanna kick his ass

Boy he got good roast game, bUT BOI I WOULD LIKE TO STRANGLE HIM

If he's pulling an act, then it will make me like his character even more, but if this is Eren's true self then I want him dead.

He claims he's free. What's he going to do next, run around with NO clothes on? He's already been shoeless and shirtless, he may as well cross another line!

He’s my favorite character but good lord Eren what the hell man

Still my fave. He's a bit of a dick right now but he's just so damn interesting. I NEED to know what's going on inside his head!

Eren's behaviour in this chapter is so at odds with his character portrayal in the Marley arc, that I only hope there's an explationation later that'll make it all make sense from a characterization POV

WHAT BEST DESCRIBES HOW YOU VIEW EREN’S CONTROL OF HIS ACTIONS? 1,653 Responses

40% of respondents feel that Eren is likely not fully in control of his actions and believe he is suffering a combination of control from Zeke and control from one or many of the titans in his system. 17.5% don’t want to make any assumptions just yet, and at slightly less, 17% believe that Eren is perfectly in control of himself.

Free, but heavily influenced (not controlled) by memories

A combination of all three

He might be making his own choices but that doesn't mean he's free. He's still a slave to his own ideals in the end.

Eren is definitely influenced by previous titans, but being influenced by Zeke would be bad writing.

Zeke gave him (questionably true) information, and he has lots of voices in his head but he's still in control. He's doing what he believes he needs to do to save those closest to him, even if he knows it's wrong and even if it drives them away.

Dude doesn't know what he is doing right now, Eren.exe has stopped working.

I really don't know. This feels so much different to when he was slaughtering kids in Liberio of his own volition only a year ago, and now he's setting up his contemporaries, countrymen and friends for his own ends and i can't tell if this is genuine help me

The memories are of course altering his personality and thoughts but I don't think there's any kind of direct "control" over him. He's doing what he thinks is best for Eldia.

He is certainly being influence, but still free to make his own choices

Partial will, partial influence of Attack/Founding Titan

There is something wrong with him. But it's too early to tell.

Eren and Attack titan's personalities are merged now I think. But is Eren cooperating or completely against Attack's will is a big question. I like the theory that this titan will be the main villain at the end (the series is called after his name duh)

CAN YOU CAN ACTUALLY PINPOINT THE EXACT MOMENT HER HEART BREAKS IN TWO? 1,650 Responses

RIP Mikasa’s Heart 

How will Mikasa ever recover tho…

F for Mikasa’s feelings.

I'm broken like Mikasa

WHAT DO YOU THINK WILL HAPPEN TO MIKASA NOW? 1,647 Responses

A solid ½ of respondents are confident that this was Mikasa’s calling to finally break off from Eren and have a story arc apart from him. 20% believe she will ultimately choose to go to Hizuru in the end (or do you?) and 15% feel she’s just going to be broken for the remainder of the story.

Mikasa is approaching Reiner levels of suffering... I want her to prove Eren wrong so badly, and if that means beating his ass, then so be it.

Mikasa didn't deserve this

Mikasa better move on.

Mikasa ilu bby. Your love and consideration for others has been genuine and you're doing amazing sweetie. Don't get caught up in Eren's bullshit.

AT THIS MOMENT, WHO WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO PUNCH IN THE FACE? 1,642 Responses

It was a close one but Flock edged out Eren as the characters we’d most like to punch in the face. Zeke and Isayama made a distant third and fourth. Popular write-ins were Armin (26), Gabi (35), Mikasa (10), all of them (14) and no one (11).

Myself, for always still returning to this series, despite Isayama destroying my hopes and feels time and time again.

Guys who destroyed the shit machine

All of above. No questions asked.

none of them are u crazy!?

Why isn't Gabi an option here?

I'm gonna pull a chapter 68 and punch myself in the face.

I picked Floch but I’d love to punch the shit out of Zeke and Eren as a close second and third

WHERE DO YOU THINK HISTORIA’S LOYALTIES LIE? 1,639 Responses

At over ⅓ of the votes, most feel Historia is either acting on her own, or is in cahoots with Eren and the Yeagerists. Quite a few write-ins felt her loyalty only goes as far as Eren, while another several said she’s loyal only to Ymir.

Daz the Winged Titan

Eren. But, that loyalty is wavering.

Her unborn child most likely. Everyone else has screwed her over!

Historia's loyalties lie with Paradis. She will probably side with anyone who can ensure the island's continued survival. She's clearly taking her role as the Queen seriously what with her pregnancy and all... :(

I might have an opinion on this if Historia had screentime to base said opinion on.

Ymir her secret girlfriend who cosplays as a farm boy

Even if I'm disappointed with her being pregnant because of Zeke/Eren's fault, I'm sure she'll rise again. She may have close friends in the SC, but she is loyal to Ymir. She'll live in a world where she can proudly say who she is.

WHICH OF THESE PANELS IS THE STUFF OF NIGHTMARES? 1,657 Responses

With 43.8% of the responses, the random scouting legion members being turned into titans was the most horrifying, followed by Floch’s… smile. Falco’s bathtime came in last place, but do you guys realize just how big that sink is?

*screams*

Zeke screaming like the furry monkey that he is and seeing Floch being a bitch was horrible too. The only thing that matters to remember is our cinammon roll taking a bubble bath🛀💗 what a cutie pie.

Falco is going to wake up like "wtf i'm in a sink"

You'll think I'm crazy, but I absolutely LOVE this Floch-villain thing. It was like I was waiting for that "smile" to happen. Most people hate him, but he may even be a more dangerous villain in the future.

WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF LEVI’S HEADACHE? 1,647 Responses

56.4% believe Levi’s head grab has nothing to do with his Ackergenetics. Of those, 29.2% attributed it to stress and 14.8% believe it’s not a headache at all. For those who believe his Ackerbonds are a factor, 27% attribute it to his bond with Erwin, while 25% cite a connection to Eren.

After all the trouble Levi went through to defend Eren, all the dead comrades who gave up their lives to defend Eren. Now Eren is in league with the very man who killed Erwin, Connie's entire village and many more people on Paradis. That's a recipe for a head explosion, nevermind a headache!

Both stress and the Ackerman headache of himself doubting the idea of continuing to defend Eren and uphold Erwin's promise of saving humanity and killing the beast Titan but his Ackerman blood tells him otherwise

He is tired as hell, give this man a break, I don't think he formed an Ackerbond with Eren, well I hope for his sanity that he didn't...I'll pray for him.

I don’t think he’s formed an ackerbond with Eren, but he seemed to believe Erwin and Eren were humanity’s hopes so whatever that means…

Little bit of the vow to Erwin, but also has a lot to do with the stress and all the lives lost for someone that may have betrayed them.

We've never seen Levi get a headache before and if that really is a headache in the same chapter Eren mentioned them I find it kind of silly.

I'm so curious about Levi holding his head and what it could mean. I hope that he can fulfill his vow to Erwin. Also that panel of him turning back around was beautifully drawn.

DO YOU STILL BELIEVE ZEKE’S STORY OF HOW RAGAKO VILLAGE WAS TRANSFORMED INTO TITANS 1,632 Responses

57.9% think that Zeke’s still lying about, well, everything, but especially the actual mode of transmission for his spinal fluid in Ragako. A little over a third felt he was telling the truth, and the rest of the write-ins don’t trust him farther than they can throw him.

Who believes anything Zeke says now (besides Eren)?

I do, but the reason why everyone froze up wasn't because of the spinal fluid: it was the gas. If someone just ingests the spinal fluid normally, the signs aren't completely present. With the case of the wine, they didn't add any toxins to it: just Zeke's spinal fluid. What Zeke said about how someone ingesting his spinal fluid getting a coordinate on his/herself afterword to make them susceptible to Zeke's Titan transformation scream is true.

The only firm evidence we have is that Zeke's spinal fluid was involved, Everything else is supposition... damn Zekerets...

I still have my faith in the theory that he was a fake doctor, who delivered his spinal fluid in the form of medicine.

I don't trust a single word that Zeke says. I'm guessing the gas was a misdirection to throw suspicion off the wine, but it could still have been true, because no one was eaten in Ragako.

Believe' and 'Zeke' should not be in the same sentence together.

All of the Above

ANY SUGGESTIONS FOR THE TITLE OF THE BOOK ZEKE HAS READ 7 TIMES?

This is our first question with only a write-in option and it happened because we weren’t clever enough to think of any smart book titles on our own. The fandom came through with 774 people providing suggestions. Here are just a few:

"How to be a key player and still not reveal your true goals to anyone 101"

"How to convince your captors that you're innocently reading a book while you're actually plotting your escape"

"Levi will make it out of this" and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself.

“Eren knew Reiner would save Falco” and other lies to tell yourself!”

"So you have one year left to live. One Hundred experiences you shouldn't miss out!"

8D Chess by Zeke Jaeger

A Little Brother's Love: Garnering Your Sibling's Affection with Empty Promises and Frequent Deceit

Anarchist cookbook

Fantastic Beast Abs and Where to Find Them

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Zekerets

"How To Be The World's Biggest Douche". Floch also has a copy.

How to Take Over the World While Having Fun, for Assholes

My Mom Ate My Brother's Mom!

O brother where art thou

The Adventures of Wile E. Coyote & The Roadrunner, published by ACME

The beards and the bees.

When Levi comes about, scream and shout!

Where's Waldo? with Waldo already circled on every page

No, I just hope it��s the last book he’ll ever read

DO YOU THINK LEVI IS GOING TO BE ABLE TO FULFILL HIS VOW? 1,651 Responses

The majority (41.2%) of voters think Levi will (eventually) kill Zeke, but around a third aren’t sure if he’ll be able to. 27.4% think Levi will die, possibly next chapter, before he has a chance to avenge Erwin’s death.

Levi will probably die (although I wish he wouldn't), so I hope Connie kills Zeke in his place. That's my only hope.

Levi can't die before his vow has been fulfilled, or else I will be sorely disappointed.

I think Levi will kill Zeke, therefore fulfilling his promise to Erwin, but will die in the process :(((

Levi kill Zeke already!

Zeke will have to die at some chapter, because Levi will fulfill his promise. Even if he dies in another scene, the Mike-like ambush won't happen again.

pls don't kill Levi isayama

I WANNA SEE LEVI CUT ZEKE'S BALLS OFF THAT MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY I KNEW HE SHOULDNT BE TRUSTED

WHO ARE YOU MOST ROOTING FOR? 1,651 Responses

With a new faction appearing in the last couple chapters, 50.3% of respondents are still rooting for the Survey Corps to come out on top. Next are those supporting Eren at 25.7%, followed by those rooting for no one.

if there was an option 'just Armin, Mikasa and Historia' in the 'Who are you most rooting for' question, I'd have taken it

As long as Eren doesn't hurt historia I'm still rooting for him

Please give me Reiner i want him to save the day like the true hero he is

Eren is pulling a Lelouch.

I pledge allegiance to the flag of The New Eldian Empire, and to the Republic for it stands, one Nation under Eren…

friendship ended with Eren now Reiner is my new best friend

Amazing how Eren manages to become more and more irredeemable with every passing chapter. Hopefully the warriors and Scouts team up to put down him and his maniacal brother.

WHAT ARE YOU MOST HOPING TO SEE NEXT CHAPTER? 1,652 Responses

1039 (62.9%) Levi’s titan battle 742 (44.9%) Flashback of Eren and Zeke in Marley 717 (43.4%) Information about Historia 704 (42.6%) Yeager brothers in Shiganshina 540 (32.7%) Warrior infiltration time 513 (31.1%) Uhh... did Falco ever make it out of that bathtub

Levi’s titan battle is tops on the wish list followed by a flashback on Eren and Zeke’s time in Marley. Information about Historia is third.

Some Goddamn insight into Eren's mind. (It's been 2 years Isa COME ON)

I would literally sell my soul to the devil for an Eren POV, a flashback to his time in Marley and an explanation of what the hell he's doing and why

Eren apologizing for hurting best girl's feelings

Floch getting shot in the face.

Floch kicking ass

So wait- did they really just leave Falco alone, naked, and probably Titan juiced in the restaurant? :(

Hange taking Mikasa Historia and preferably Annie and flying off to the Bahamas for an eternal vacation away from everyone's bullshit

Levi's survival and maybe a nice cup of tea.

Armin Vs. Eren Titan Battle

WHERE IS BEST BOY REINER BRING HIM BACK

anything nice...

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 1,594 Responses

Reddit still reigns supreme with 44.3% of respondents, but Tumblr made a slight comeback up to 18% over only 11% last month. “I don’t” is third with 10.5% and 9.8% are lucky enough to discuss the series in real life.

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE CHAPTER?

Lots of revelations, lots of suffering :(

Why Eren? Mikasa loves your stupid ass, ackerbond or not.

Friendship ended with Eren. Now Armin is my best friend.

I can't be more proud of armin he is my baby forever.

Amazing so far still hoping EM is a thing but its looking dim, Eren is now my waifu despite him being a jerk I love how much the dude doesn't give a shit.

Armin's gonna take at least a year to explain this shit storm to Annie once she wakes up

ARUMIKA/JEANKASA LIFEBOATS HAVE TONS OF ROOM! BE PREPARED TO ABANDON SHIP!

EMA was one of the main reasons why I was into this series and seeing Eren hurt MA like that makes me want to quit the series entirely.

Eren baby please get your shit together. Also fuck Zeke and Floch.

Eren becoming a villain was hinted since chapter 25 and by numerous characters (Levi, Annie, Reiner, Eren himself, Zeke - all before the timeskip). So Eren is probably being genuine, especially since the words he's saying to Mikasa and Armin are the same he said to Carla in the first chapter.

Eren did nothing wrong!

Eren hates that he has influenced Mikasa for so long. He's trying to break the Ackerbond so she can choose for herself in these trying times.

Eren is a bitch but I still love him

Armin and Mikasa did nothing wrong to deserve hear that crap of him, of all the people, the one who has 3 titans + a crazy half brother to influence him. Is Eren free? HAHAHAHA NOOOOOOOOOOOPE.

Even though I'm not the biggest fan of EMA what Eren has done is completely unacceptable, Zeke running and screaming is my mood, and please please please don't kill off Levi now Isayama or I'm gonna stab a bitch.

I'm heartbroken. I don't believe Eren hates Mikasa, and I'm sure he knows it. I won't pretend to understand his motivations at this point, I just know he's lying. The look on his face says it all. But Mikasa, my poor sweet girl. I wish she didn't have to go through all of this pain. Someone give her a hug ffs.

I found it funny when Eren was like “we’ve never fought, huh? That’s because I’d BEAT YOUR ASS!”

I love Eren but by god am I worried about the way the character is being handled. I hate the idea of him being so manipulated that he's almost a totally different person, I hate the idea of him being controlled and losing his agency... both of those just feel like cheating for a plot twist, y'know?

I love Isayama, but fuck him.

I think Isayama knocked it out of the park with the EMA scene. That shit will be remembered as the Grim Reminder 3.0 in matters of writing once this series is over.

I think this was a great chapter. What I find amazing is how quickly people stopped talking about Gabi after this chapter. While you might say that it's because she wasn't the focus, I think it's partially because of her (lack of violent) reaction to Eren. I think she clearly has more depth now and I am wondering what her role in the story will be.

I wish Jean had been at the table when Eren said that stuff to Mikasa.

I'm incredibly worried for Levi's safety, along with Mikasa's mental health and Armin's physical health. Eren's words created wounds that aren't going to heal quickly; It's going to take time. I'm beyond infuriated at Zeke, and I hope he gets what he deserves.

I’m not sure how I feel about this series anymore because this chapter. I get a almost a years worth of Gabi, Galliard, and Zeke whom I really don’t like and then when the characters I actually like reappear they become jerks, fools, or they bite the cursed dust. I know I sound so salty lol.

Floch being a douche beyond my wildest expectations, Eren's entrance, the fight, the tears, the child who had no reason to be there caught up in all of it, Zeke running away like he was some kind of Looney Toons' character. Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. This was the most enjoyable chapter in a very long time.

Seeing Gabi terrified of Eren while he was talking to Mikasa and Armin was amazing, she finally realizes that this is the person that was responsible for the attack on Marley. Eren is this devil that she was told that she will need to kill, but when she is finally in a room with him she is full of fear.

Zeke, that jerk. Once I get his hands on him-

Eren... I still like him a lot, but damn, that was such an intense roast he did toward Mikasa and Armin. I think it'll lead to some interesting development for the latter, but I really wonder if Eren was really bluffing his hatred toward Mikasa and has an ulterior motive behind what he did. That'll be interesting to find out!

When Levi said a long time ago "It might rain Titans", do you think Zeke read his mind through paths and made his thoughts come true? Other than that, Eren's villainy is continuing. I'm not sure whether to cackle "Let the world burn" or cuff him around the ear for making Mikasa cry!

This chapter has DEVASTATED me. I already heard warning bells when I saw the cover with EMA being so adorable, and hated being proven right when the chapter came out. The bond between EMA was the thing I rooted for the most in this series, the purest thing in the SnK universe. Eren and Armin have both died for each other. Mikasa would have too, if she wasn't already an immortal goddess. The strength of their bond is something that has been made apparent since chapter 1. Together, they are almost unstoppable, invincible, and Isayama has taken even that away from us. Thanks, I hate it.

Every part of this chapter was brilliantly executed. Although, I am somehow always surprised at how wildly different reader interpretations end up being whenever Isayama teases us with purposeful ambiguity. This chapter was extremely polarizing, but as always, I think the answer to the truthfulness of each of Eren's claims (hating Mikasa, Ackermen being robotic slaves to their bond, being free, etc.) is somewhere in the middle.

[ilovemybirdy]

When Heartbeats Collide Chapter 1

Kairi, a budding pop star is out of luck when her music producer suddenly has to take a leave of absence. But an up and coming producer by the name of Sora could be just what she needs to finish her album (and spice up her life).

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Chapter 1: A New Partnership

“Click, tap tap, click.” the sounds of my laptop echoed in the small studio room. Often times, I liked to coop up in here whenever inspiration struck; and last night I had been fortunate enough to strike a gold mine of it. I had been re-watching sleeping beauty for the millionth time and upon this particular re-watch the movie had made me think about the implications of love at first sight. Or I guess, in her case love at first sleep. I thought that it might be an interesting metaphor to talk about love from a dream like state of mind or perspective. I wanted to emulate an airy sound and make the listener feel like they were up in the clouds listening to angels.

I had finished the first verse, the chorus, and had settled on doing the song in Bflat minor. As I hummed potential melodies to myself, a sudden knock interrupted my thoughts.

“Come in!” I called. The door clicked open and my assistant Selphie entered.

“Hey Kairi! How’s the song writing going today?” she asked. She gently smiled at me and walked over.

“Well… I’m having trouble thinking of a bridge and a second verse, but other than that I’m making good progress.”

“I’m glad to hear it!” she exclaimed. “I know you’ve been having writer’s block lately, so it’s great you finally un-stuck yourself. Unfortunately, you’ll have to finish working on this later; your meeting starts in 10.” She checked her watch and gave me an apologetic look. I glanced at the time on my phone: 11:50PM. Right on the dot, as Selphie always was.  

“Oh fun,” I groaned. “My favorite part of the month.”

“That’s why I brought you your favorite: iced caramel coffee with a shot of espresso and extra creamer!” I had been so absorbed in my work that I hadn’t yet noticed the coffee in her hand. “I also got you one of those overpriced snack boxes at Papoubucks because I know you forget to eat when you go into these creative frenzies. Seriously! You’ve been in here for hours.” The time had really flown by; we had gotten here around 8 and it was already noon now.

“Thanks Selph. I swear, I don’t know what I’d do without you sometimes.”

“Probably starve to death and go into cardiac arrest from caffeine withdrawal.”

We erupted into a fit of giggles at the snide remark. As I took a much, much needed sip of coffee (my insomnia had been particularly bad lately) Selphie helped me pack up my belongings. On the walk to the conference room I began explaining my new song to her.

“Have you decided on a name yet?” she asked.

“Some contenders I have are dreamy, cloud, and maybe rem? You know, the stage of sleep you have dreams in. Or at least that’s what web MD said.”

“I never like looking up medical problems on there, it just always tells me that I have cancer and that I’m going to die or that I’m pregnant,” she chortled. “Out of those names though I think I like rem the best.”

“Selphie, you’re supposed to take the advice from websites like that with a grain of salt.” I giggled, before continuing. “But yeah, I think I’ll go with rem; it has more meaning behind it than the other names.”

“Look sometimes I get curious and can’t resist looking my symptoms up! Anyway, it sounds like you’re making a really sweet love song! It’s a pretty interesting concept too. I’m sure I’ll love it when you’re done with it.”

Our conversation came to a halt as we arrived at the conference room. We took our seats in the black leather chairs, and unpacked our belongings as members of my team arrived. Selphie readied a pen and notebook to record important points from the meeting. Glancing up, I saw my manager Aqua make her entrance. We made eye contact and she smiled warmly at me; I grinned back. She always wore suits, but today she was sporting a slightly more casual outfit: a navy button up shirt tucked into a pair of black jeans. Her black heels clicked on the tiles and I noticed that she had her sleeves rolled up; probably due to the recent heatwaves. Destiny Islands was famous for having the highest temperatures out of all the worlds, especially during summer.

The rest of my team followed suit behind Aqua: Olette (the head of my PR team), Xion (head of my marketing team), and Marluxia (performance coordinator).  Olette was donning a flowing orange sundress with wedge sandals, Xion was wearing a sleek grey suit, and Marluxia was sporting a pink polo shirt with jeans. Aqua briefly scanned the room to make sure all members of my team were accounted for before starting.

“Alright guys let’s get started. I know I want to take my lunch break just as much as you all,” Aqua said. The room filled with soft laughter at the cheeky comment.

“First things first, let’s check in with you Kairi. How much progress have you made on your album since our last update?”

“Well…” I fidgeted with my pen as I skimmed over my notes. “I have about 5 songs that I finished writing lyrics for. I’m in the process of finish a 6thsong right now. How much time do I have left before the album has to be finalized?”

Aqua paused for a moment and glanced at her laptop.

“I met with Mickey, the head of the department and he said he’d like to have it finalized by September so… that gives you about 4 more months. He also said you needed to have at least 10 songs on the album, if not more.”

“That’s cutting a little bit short but as long as I have Pence to help me finish writing it should be okay. Is he going to be back soon?”

“Well… about that. Pence’s younger brother finally found a kidney donor.”

“Really?! That’s great!” I smiled and clasped my hands. They had been waiting for 6 months at this point. I sighed in relief, things would finally be okay for Pence’s family again.

“I know!” Aqua beamed back at me. “However, because of that he’s decided to take a leave of absence to help out his family back in Twilight Town. Which unfortunately means we have no music producer for you for a while.  However, no need to fear manager Aqua is here! I’ve already recruited some local producers to replace Pence in the meantime. If you don’t click with any, I can always look for more candidates, but it would be easier if you chose one of them for convivence’s sake. I’ll email you their resumes and sample songs for you to look over later. I even took the liberty to schedule interviews with them for this evening so we can get the ball rolling ASAP.”

My anxiety began to flare up at the prospect of interviewing strangers. Writing music was such an emotional and personal process for me; not to mention with someone completely new. Pence had helped me write some of my greatest radio hits and I trusted him so much. It was going to be difficult having to go without him this time.

“Thanks, Aqua, I’ll look over them during lunch. When are the interviews?” I responded, trying to mask the shakiness in my voice. I hid my hands under the table as they shook.

“I have 3 candidates; interviews start at 3PM with 30 minute time blocks for each candidate. Don’t worry, you’ll get out of here no later than 5 today. And with that out of the way, let’s move on to the next topic!”

Chatter broke out into the room and I began munching on my snack. Olette and Selphie discussed some modeling opportunity for ‘Destiny’ magazine, but I was barely paying attention. I breathed slowly, trying to calm down from the anxiety eating away at me until Olette interjected.

“Hey Kairi, have you heard of the Radiant Garden Met Gala? Yuffie is one of the fashion designers for this year; I met her at a networking conference last week. Apparently, she’s a big fan of yours and asked if she could have the honor of designing for you!” She pushed a stray hair behind her ear as she beamed at me excitedly.

The Met Gala was one of the biggest annual fashion events throughout all the worlds. While I never really cared for the press at big events, getting dressed up and admiring all of the designer’s hard work was my favorite thing about red carpet events.

“I’d love to attend, Selphie do I have room in my schedule for it?”

“Mmmmm…” she paused as she flipped through her planner, “Yeah! It is cutting it a bit close to your performance for the Island’s summer fest but definitely doable. Olette, can you give me Yuffie’s email so that I can coordinate the consultation and fitting?”

Olette nodded and began typing away at her laptop. Xion then stepped up to show some new merch designs for the team to look over on the projector. Aqua and I approved some, and requested alterations on others for her team to work on. Marluxia and Selphie then discussed some future performance dates. By the time the meeting was finished, my coffee and snack box were no more. Everyone fled out of the room saying their goodbyes quickly, excited for lunch.

“Hey Kairi, what are you in the mood for? Why don’t you go prepare for those interviews while I go pick up lunch?” Selphie asked.

“How about comfort food? Maybe some pad thai from that Asian place on Shinjitsu street?” I desperately needed something to calm my nerves with how on edge I felt.

“Oh, I love their orange chicken! I’ll head out now, be back in a flash! I wanna take a look at those resumes too when I get back. A new producer, how exciting!” she squealed. Grabbing her purse, she dashed out the door. I quickly packed up and headed back to my studio room. Once there, I made myself comfortable at the desk and pulled up my email.

Hey sweetheart!

Here are the 3 candidates I’ve picked out for you: Hayner, Seifer , and Sora. The first two have worked with some of my other artists I manage, and Sora was a recommendation from Xion herself. Apparently, they went to college together and he works with some of her other merchandise clients. As a reminder, interviews start at 3PM! I’ve told them to just meet you in your studio. Good luck and remember to check in with me tomorrow.

Sincerely,

Aqua

Artist Manager at Destiny Island Records

Deciding it was best to just go in order, I clicked on the first file titled ‘hayner.docx’. Previous artists he’d worked with included big names like Yuna and Paine. Yuna was well known for fast paced hip hop EDM songs and Paine did a lot of alternative rock. At least he was multifaceted, but neither genre was exactly my cup of tea. I clicked on the links to the sample songs listed but was only slightly impressed.

Then, I pulled up Seifer’s resume. Apparently, he’d been behind some of the top hits lately; many that I knew and enjoyed. I didn’t even need to take a listen to the samples; I knew the songs already. However, his style didn’t fit the vibe I was trying to go for on this album.  It was way too… club music-y and sexual. Before I even got a chance to look at the last candidate, Selphie waltzed in.

           “Kairi! I’m back!” the plastic bags crinkled loudly as she set them down on the table. She handed me my food and started to dig into hers before barraging me with questions.

           “So, have you looked at the resumes yet? What do you think so far?”

           “I’ve only looked at two. I’m not particularly interested in Hayner and Seifer is a maybe. I haven’t had a chance to look at this ‘Sora’ guy yet though.” I turned my laptop to her.

           “Wow the first two guys seem pretty accomplished! What’s wrong with the Hayner guy?”

           “His style doesn’t really fit with my vision for this album. I’m also not a punk or rock singer.”

           “Oh, I guess that’s true. Why is Seifer a maybe?”

           “I feel like he has a good track record for making hit singles, but that’s the only reason I’m considering him.”

           “You don’t need a producer to make hits! You have some of the best, no, thebest vocals I’ve ever heard. Don’t go with him just because you think he’s the technically correct choice. Why don’t we take a look at the last guy tog-e-herfmmf?”

           “After I finish my lunch. And Selphie, I love you but please don’t talk with your mouth full of food.”

           “Hey!” she pouted, and her face made me burst into a fit of giggles.

           Selphie scarfed down her lunch in 2 minutes while I ate my pad thai at a reasonable pace. She may have looked tiny and ladylike on the outside, but the girl was a monster when it came to food. There was a reason she didn’t do dinner dates on the first date; I’ve never met anyone with a more bottomless stomach than her.

           “Kairiiiii, I’m trying to be patient but you’re taking so long to eat! Can I just start looking at the Sora guy now?”

           I rolled my eyes. “It’s not my fault you eat at the speed of light. Are you sure you’re human?”

           She smacked my shoulder lightly and pouted.

           “Sorry, sorry. Yeah go ahead. Once Selphie had finished skimming the written portion, she played one of the sample songs. The song was soft and gentle, and a beautiful tenor voice sang over it.

           Don’t get me wrong I love you

           But does that mean I have to meet, your father

           When we are older, you’ll understand what I meant when I said no

           I don’t think, life is quite that simple

I was hooked. It was exactly the tone I was looking for with the added bonus of meaningful lyrics. Selphie noticed my eyes widen and sniggered.

           “There’s more sample songs listed, I’m assuming you want to hear the rest?”            “Yes please.” I immediately answered. She giggled once more at my eagerness.

           A sanctuary, my sanctuary, yeah

           Where fears and lies melt away

           Music in time

           I need more affection than you know

           What’s left of me, what’s left of me

The first song had been a bit more upbeat but this one sounded heavenly and dreamy… which is exactly what I had wanted for the song I was working on this morning. I quickly scarfed down the rest of my food before beckoning Selphie to give the laptop back.

           “Quite the eager beaver we have here huh?”

           “Shut up. I just happen to like these samples okay?”

I wiped my hands off on a napkin before scrolling back to the top of the resume. He had only worked with lesser known artists, and only had two years in the industry under his belt. Experience or not, it was obvious the guy was gifted. I absolutely needed to meet this man.

[lianors]

FOURTH CHALLENGE  — character personality tests for lianor montagu: (4/12)

wc: 1,592 / points earned (thus far): 20

tw: light mention of abusive parental relationship; sexuality discourse (with mentions of: religion, homophobia, internalized misogyny and traditional gender roles); a ridiculous shitload of word vomiting without proofread yike !

1 — creepiest thing about you

𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖚𝖑𝖙𝖘: you are a disturbing control freak — caring for people and things does not work the way you think it does. you are so invested in making sure that everything around you is perfect that instead of showing you care, you plan and control without asking for any input (which, of course, you justify by telling yourself that you aren’t burdening anyone else with extra work). you call this “dedication,” but it’s not - it’s needing personal control so badly that you’ve confused it for real connection — which is not really a great quality in a friend, but a very helpful quality in an aspiring serial killer.

𝖆𝖈𝖈𝖚𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖞: i remember when this challenge first came out -- lmao why am i such a sloth -- i wrote an intricate, awed response at this result, but my computer turned off on itself so i guess i gotta content with this whatever lmao.

anyhow, incrediblé. i believe i have touched on the controlling nature lianor has in her -- it is born from her own mother’s, how the woman had wanted her daughter to be a puppet from a tender age; not to displease beatriz, lia was to assure just that. she easily became a sort of dominating figure in the welsh nursery, gently advising and guiding the royal kids to do her way, which is the right way. unlike her mother, she knew honey would catch more flies than vinegar (a mantra she tries to live by whenever ugly, awfully humane sentiments rush through her) and, thus, lianor continues pulling strings quietly, with a caress there, a gentle word here. 

she grows impatient and vexed as her powers begin to fade on people, and now that she’s older, she more actively struggles against being controlled by others, though she is wise enough to know that, as a woman, in many situations she just will not have control and she must bow her head and follow. still, she tries to manipulate the outcome to favor her in some way, even if it is a minuscule silver lining she clings to in order to maintain her sanity and her illusion of power.

2 — four temperaments

𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖚𝖑𝖙𝖘: your temperament is phlegmatic (15) — the phlegmatic temperament is fundamentally relaxed and quiet, ranging from warmly attentive to lazily sluggish. phlegmatics tend to be content with themselves and are kind. they are accepting and affectionate. they may be receptive and shy and often prefer stability to uncertainty and change. they are consistent, relaxed, calm, rational, curious, and observant, qualities that make them good administrators. they can also be passive-aggressive.

𝖆𝖈𝖈𝖚𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖞: let me just say, i took this test on my first week portraying lia and i got a tie between sanguine and melancholic -- who is lying then?? are you telling me i’ve grown her enough for that to change??? fight me!! but hey at least sanguine and melancholic tied again, only two points behind phlegmatic so!!!

dumbassery aside, i guess this makes sense. as i usually take most of these tests as i am building my muse, i base their behavior on these results as much as the muse that flows through me on the day i am writing, but i think it’s silly to deny this result just for the sake of being a hater -- especially when the phlegmatic result does fit her: lianor is not particularly lazy, as her anxiety and fear of becoming useless makes that an inability, but if she does allow herself a time off, there is little she would really want to do other than partaking in that noble girl lying on a ottoman couch fantasy! 

more importantly, she is definitely on the quiet side, and kindness and warmth are traits she intends to display and, though i haven’t said it outright, i believe it can be assumed rightfully so that she is a good administrator, with a good head for finances and overall stability over risk.

3 — tea type

𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖚𝖑𝖙𝖘: chamomile tea — you are a warm blanket in the form of a human. you’re welcoming and comforting, and loved ones know they can turn to you when they need a hug or a soothing word. you appreciate the cozy things in life, like wrapping up in a blanket and listening to the rain. in a world full aggression, competition and noise, you believe there’s bravery in being soft.

𝖆𝖈𝖈𝖚𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖞: reading this blurb makes me feel so uwu, in a very romantic way i imagined when i first wrote lianor (if you ignore how big of an angst whore i am lmao), so sure, i will take it. lia intends to be this sort of safe, cozy harbor for her loved ones, where they all can forget of the harsh realities of ruling -- though she found herself quite able to do so before, she becomes more cynical, and fearful this ability will become an impossibility soon enough (which in return makes her despise those she judge that are to blame for this demystification of her idyllic world).

4 — sexuality

𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖚𝖑𝖙𝖘: for 40% you are heterossexual. this means that you are attracted only to the opposite sex. this is the most accepted and ‘normal’ sexuality, so don’t worry about fitting in with sexuality -- you will be fine.

you could also get this result:

for 30% you are bisexual. this means that you are attracted to both sexes. this sexuality is very broad -- you can love whomever you want. in reality, both boys and girls. it’s also fairly accepted, as you are both straight and gay.

𝖆𝖈𝖈𝖚𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖞: as someone with about 5 scorpios in my zodiac map, i have no qualms about discussing sex and sexuality in any way, so this is going to be an interesting ride. as always, i thought i should discuss character origins, as lianor really has bloomed ever since i began planning her, to as she was actually played. so, originally, she was as straight as a board -- as someone who has had primarily one romantic and sexual connection, she remains constant with her affections and desires, which are invested on a cismale, as it should be expected for a pious noblewoman as she is. thus, i insisted she was a hetero for quite a bit, only for her to come at me and make me proud with just a huge amount of gay -- god i love one (1) sapphic babe! because, well, i envisioned her relationship with the princess of england as one of sisterly love, but because there was a sapphic route me and the princess’ former player went by, i am interested in discussing that again with her player (who shall hopefully be here soon). 

lia enjoys women -- she thinks they are gorgeous, strong beings, and she also envies them, well rooted in the environment she is at. the fateful night she did engage in intercourse with one, she powered through with mild distaste, making her purpose to appeal for the male gaze, to prove to her male partner she was not just another whore he would take to his bed and forget the next morning. she claims kissing women have become a boring affair, that she has tired of pretending and would rather go for the real thing -- a man, in which she would be expected to conceive with -- but everything she speaks must be taken with a grain of salt, since this is the 15th century and even if there is no penis, so there is no sodomy, a love for a woman that is something more than fraternal is wrong, for a woman is made for a man, and she believes she has already found her match.

this single sexual encounter and her insistence in telling herself she is disgusted by homosexuality rings to me not only of religious-infused prejudice, but also of a notion many claim secondary: the ace aspect. being a literal assexual definitely does not work for lianor, who has fire running in her veins and is not at all against asking for her earthly desires to be quenched by the right man -- but demisexuality’s definition interest me a lot; demisexuals require a good amount of bonding to be able to enjoy the sexual act -- they may do it anyways, as i know people in real life to have done and as lia does in her marital bed, but enjoying it is a whole other thing. thus, it makes sense she could not find sexual joy in a random encounter that was fashioned more to please her partner than herself. when she did think of a woman she had a deep connection with -- her dearest french penpal -- though there was an immense shame, lia found no difficulty in enjoying herself.

however, again, this should all remain entirely circumstantial due to the mentality of the century; she would rather not strain from what is normal, and resign herself to her feminine position, in which she should please her man and bear his children, regardless of her own pleasure in the matter. female friendships should remain just that, and otherwise she would seek to distance herself from the personification of sin for her own sake. to go through with modern, anachronistic notions would strip the verse of what it is and instead would make me speak of the bi icon lianor beauchamp that was born in the 1990s -- and that is a whole other talk.

[foofygoldfish]

meeting the family - part one of two

how alice meets the seeds! part one is the revival, part two will feature the infamous barbecue with jacob’s watery mac n’ cheese. 

Alice knew the cult was a thing when she moved back to Hope County. Of course she did: her mom was one of the first Montanan converts to the the cult. It was an innocuous church then, not anything that could ever be dangerous, despite the Father’s sermons of doom and gloom.

None of them, she’d told Mary May weeks later, were her type, except possibly Faith, definitely not the brothers. She'd learned from watching her sister that a relationship with the Seeds? That is a Bad Idea.

So... How can she explain waking up naked next to Jacob Seed?

----------------------------------------

Her second day back in Hope County started as normally as it could: her list of things to do was overwhelming, so of course she was ignoring it. Breakfast at the Spread Eagle seemed like a much better idea than cleaning. Well, lunch. Brunch? It was almost 1:30.

Alice was eating her french toast at the bar when she saw Casey whisper something to Mary May. The cook gave her a worried glance, but Mary May shrugged, looking annoyed, but not worried, came over to her.

“Looks like the welcoming crew is here.”

She looked at the bartender, confused.

“Someone saw the fuckin’ Peggies headed in. They must have heard someone was finally living in your folk’s house.”

“Should….” Alice looked down at her half-full plate, then back up at Mary May. “Should I go? Or, like, is there time to finish or…”

Mary May laughed. “Just bring the plate back later. I know where to find you.”

“So go now?”

Mary May shrugged.

“You’re no help.” Alice grumbled as she slid off the bar stool, “Ugh. It’s too early to be social - don’t you dare laugh at me Casey!”

She had just set the plate down on her kitchen counter when she heard her front door open.

“Anyone home?”

Fuck.

“Alice, you’re either here or at that infernal -- Ah.”

“Jane. Hey.” When Mary May had said Peggies were coming, she thought it would be one of the brothers or some random person. Not her sister. “Uhm. Yeah, I was… Breakfast.”

Jane raised her eyebrow, looking at the plate. “It’s almost two.”

“I’m moving to nights after training. I’m kinda up early. I guess.”

“You guess?”

“I’ve had one shift, okay? It’s fuckin’ weird switching sleep schedules like this.” Alice squinted at her sister. “Why are you here, anyways? You said you’d do your own thing for the shop and you made it pretty clear you were too busy to help me clean the place up.”

Her sister smiled at her - a sickly sweet one, one that set Alice on edge. “I came to invite you to church. The Father would love to meet you.”

“No.”

“Alice --”

“Jane.”

“Just once. You can see if you like it, meet the Father and his siblings. Mom won’t be at today’s service, but if you wanted to see her…”

Alice sighed, anxiously running her hand through her hair. “She’s made it pretty clear she doesn’t want anything to do with me or Caleb, so yeah, I’ll pass on seeing her.”

“Does that mean you’ll go?” Jane smiled again, hope replacing the fake sweetness.

“You’re gonna keep coming back if I don’t, aren’t you?” Jane nodded. “Ugh. Fine. Once. Once only. I’m not doing this shit again.”

“Fantastic! I’ll come back for you soon - when do you work?”

“In a few days. I just had paperwork and shit last night.”

“I’ll pick you up at four.” With that Jane turned to leave, giving the grey cat that had appeared next to her a look. “Really?”

“What? Data thinks he’s a dog. He wants you to pet him.”

“You named him Data.”

Alice blew a raspberry at her sister as she left, and went to pet the cat. “Hmph. Thanks for the backup, babe.”

Data flopped on his side, meowing at his human.

//

Jane showed up at 4pm on the dot. Alice was sitting on her front stoop, basking in the sunlight, praying that her sister wouldn’t show up. Or that she’d be late enough that maybe she could convince her to go to the Spread Eagle or over to th 8-bit for dinner. But nope. Exactly on time, as always.

Grudgingly, she stood up. Her sister had sent a text saying she didn’t need to bring her purse or wallet - which was honestly a little worrying, but… okay. She double-checked that she had remembered to lock the door, and climbed into the truck.

“Hey.” She glanced over at her sister, who was smiling. “...What?”

“You are going to love the sermon today. The Father is speaking at the revival --”

“You’re taking me to a revival?”

Jane ignored her sister. “The Father is speaking at the revival at Teller Ranch. His brothers will be there too, I’ll have to introduce you to John.”

Alice gave her a suspicious glance. She had thought that her sister wasn’t too deep into the cult - but how she was talking about the Seeds… It worried her. Not that Jane would listen to her concerns.

The pair were silent for the majority of the drive: Alice stared out the window, wishing she had brought her phone so she could tune out the stupid faux-gospel music that Jane was singing along to. She didn’t know who Faith was, but she really didn’t need to listen to how people wanted her to help them three times in a row. Occasionally, Jane would perk up and tell Alice about the amazing things that the church (cult) had been doing. Helping failing farmers, helping families who had gone under on their mortgages, they’d started a new school to replace the long-closed Fall’s End High. Objectively, Alice knew that the cult had done some good things, but after hearing about the cult from Mary May? She knew to take her sister’s words with a large grain of salt.

“We’re here!”

Alice looked up as Jane brought the car to a stop at the side of a road. She had no idea where they were. There were other cars stopped at the side of the road, but no buildings to give her an idea of their location. Well, okay, no, she technically knew where they were, but when you have been gone for so long... "Teller Ranch" doesn't really mean much.

Off in the distance, maybe half a mile from the road, Alice could see a tent. Everyone seemed to be making their way towards it, and she groaned. They were close enough to the Moccasin River that mosquitos would be a problem, and she really didn’t feel like dealing with those… Her sister had grabbed her hand, though, and started pulling her towards the tent, so she didn’t have a choice.

Great.

Once in the tent, Jane tried to pull Alice towards the front, to a group of people in the cult’s “uniform.” Her friends?

“Janey… You’re pushing it.” Alice pulled her hand away from her sister, and moved to the farthest back bench. Frowning, her sister sat down next to her. “Do I really need to be here?”

Jane gave her a sharp look, before perking up. A huge smile came across her face as a tall, dark-haired man stepped onto the stage.

“What?” Alice looked at her, and then to the man on the stage.

“It’s John. That’s Jacob next to him.” God, she looked like a lovesick teenager. Though - if that look was meant for the red-haired man next to John - well… He’s not too bad looking. Rough, not really her type, but handsome. The fact that he was in a position of respect within the cult, though, kiiiiinda negated that handsomeness.

The man surveyed the crowd, hands on his hips. “You are here because you are scared.”

Jane nodded. Did she really believe this? Alice was afraid of what was happening in the world, but she wasn’t running off to join a cult...

“Scared because of what you see on the news, what you hear on the radio. Deception. Godlessness. Who is accountable, who is in charge?” He gave the crowd a half-smile. “There is an answer to that fear. He has a name - Joseph Seed!”

The crowd, Jane included, cheered as a man wearing yellow glasses and a pastor’s collar walked into the tent. Behind her, a small group walked in to the tent, drawing the notice of Jacob. Alice looked up at them, to see if they wanted to sit, but one of of the quartet - a tall brunette, not someone that she recognized from town (not that she would, Alice thought, unless she had been in the Spread Eagle in the last few days) - shook her head. She shrugged, turning her attention back to Joseph Seed.

“I want you all to close your eyes for a moment. Think about the world outside this tent, outside this county. Can you see how sick our society has become?” Joseph looked around, smiling as he saw his followers with their eyes closed. “Can you see the disease creepin’ across the land? Greed. War. Starvation. It’s because people have moved away from God. There is a hatred brewing.” As people opened their eyes, he looked each of them in the eyes. As he said hatred, he met hers, sending a shiver down her spine. “It’s like a slow-acting poison churning in our guts. So I ask you: when you think of the world out there, do you feel safe?”

The faithful shook their heads, many answering “No.”

Alice looked around at the congregation, noticing that of those gathered, she and the latecomers were the only ones who weren’t soaking in every one of Joseph’s words. One of them leaned forward, whispering to the woman who had declined a seat. “That’s Linney. Third row.”

She didn’t have time to wonder what was happening before Joseph continued. “Of course not. You can feel it comin’, can’t you? In the morning, when you turn on the television or pick up your newspaper, you see the headlines and the fear, the confusion, the anger. See, we are like frightened animals, just creepin’ towards the edge. And there will be a reckoning.” He swept his eyes over her and the four next to her. “It is painful. I look right into your hearts and see how much pain you have, I see the scars the world has left upon your souls. But I’m here to tell you that the suffering… Well, that is a choice. You can choose a better path. We love you.”

Jane elbowed her in her ribs. Alice rolled her eyes.

“We want you. We accept you exactly the way you are.” Joseph smiled, spreading his arms to the crowd. “Every single one of you. I stand here asking you to join me, to join my family, and we will help you find your peace, your sanctuary. I am your Father, and you are my children. Together, we will march to Eden’s Gate.”

He continued there: bible verses, Project news updates, memos from both John and Jacob detailing the need for supplies and volunteers to train under Jacob’s Chosen, ending with stories of successes new converts had accomplished.

After his sermon was over, Jane pulled Alice out of the tent, waiting with a group of Peggies that were waiting to talk to the Father and his Heralds.

“Father, Jacob, this is my baby sister, Claire! She just moved back to Fall’s End. I wanted her to see how much you have done for the county.” Jane smiled, shaking the hands of the Father and Jacob, giving Alice a look that told her to do the same (she did, minus the smile).

Alice sighed. “Call me Alice. Jane’s the only one who calls me Claire nowadays.”

Though the Father was smiling at her, she knew her indifference hadn’t gone unnoticed. “Hello, Alice.”

Jane excused them, and pulled her in John’s direction. Just out of his earshot, she paused, and turned to Alice. “Don’t embarrass me.”

“Why would I embarrass you?” Alice rolled her eyes, “Fine. Whatever.”

“Alice.”

“I said fine!” Alice tugged her arm away from her sister. “Why are you so nervous? Is he your - oh my god you aren’t.”

“Alice --”

“You’re dating--” Jane glared at her, stopping Alice from continuing. “Do --”

“Yes, I am, no, they don’t know, now let’s just... “

“God, this is awkward.” Alice groaned, and followed her sister over to John.

She stood there awkwardly for a moment before Jane turned to her, holding John’s hand. “John, this is my little sister, --”

“Alice. Just call me Alice.” She shrugged. “If she tells you to call me Claire, ignore her.”

John smiled. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Alice glanced at Jane, “Uh, I hope good things. Not the baby stories or anything.”

“No, no, just the good things.” John looked between the two sisters, “Are you looking to join the Project?”

“John is the one who baptizes all new converts.” Jane explained. “He could baptize you!”

Alice shrugged. “Honestly, I just want to get settled right now.” And she had promised Pastor Jerome that she would go to his service the next day. He was so kind, and so genuine, that choosing between his church and the Project was an easy decision. Even if she didn’t go to church much these days. Although, she could see just dropping in every few Sundays going a lot better with Pastor Jerome than with the Father…

“That’s understandable. How long have you been back in town?”

“Uh… Two days? I got in late on Thursday. Had training at the station - uh, I’m in dispatch at the Sheriff’s office - last night. I haven’t really had time to get anything but my cat’s shi..stuff unpacked.” She swatted at a mosquito buzzing near her head, and then looked at her sister. “Uh, no offence to either of you, but is it okay if I go chill in the car till you’re done? I’m being eaten alive.”

Jane frowned, but John laughed. “Yes, of course.” He replied. “I hope to see you at church on Sunday.”

Alice gave him an awkward smile as she left for the truck. God, that was awkward. The Seeds all seemed so sure that she was going to follow in her sister’s footsteps and join the cult, that the thought of staying neutral wouldn’t cross her mind. She had seen John’s eyes light up when she mentioned that she worked in the Sheriff’s office - did they have people in the office? Well, they had to - with how big the cult was… Fuck. She should ask the Sheriff about that when she started.

She sat there, stewing over what the brothers had said, until her sister came back to the car.

“You had to leave early.” Jane scowled at her as she started the truck.

Alice raised her arm, pointing at a mosquito bite. “You didn’t tell me these fuckers would be here too!”

“It’s by a river!”

“One, you didn’t tell me that, two, I’ve lived in LA for the last decade, we don’t have mosquitoes there!”

“You just didn’t want to --”

“No shit I didn’t want to talk to them. I told you I didn’t want to go to this.” She crossed her arms, looking out the side window. “I’m not going on Sunday.”

“I wasn’t going to ask you to, after how you behaved.”

Alice shot her sister a glare, before turning back to the window. She wanted to protest when Jane turned the cult radio station back on, even louder than before, but she really didn’t want to be fighting the rest of the way home… Or at the shop on Monday, fuck. If Jane even showed.

Jane was still giving her the silent treatment when they got back to the house. Alice slinked inside, slamming the door shut and plopping herself on the couch.

“Fucking hell.” Crookshanks looked at her from across the room, and moved to sit next to her human. “Crook, I liked her better from a thousand miles away.”

[dragonshost]

Two’s Company

Look at me, doing my own challenge like a nerd.  I love 50 sentence challenges, but this is my first attempt at one.  It took a long time to finish, but I’m proud of and happy with the result.

Fandom: Fairy Tail Pairing: Minerva x Max Challenge: Link Dedicated to: @ahumanintraining & @lucienn​

1. Frisky

That Minerva was even capable of being frisky was not something that Max would have ever thought possible before the Grand Magic Games, but somehow knowing that even her playful side had a somewhat cruel tinge to it made it much more believable.

2. Eye

Discount train fares were slapped proudly into Minerva’s outstretched palm, much to her shock; Max’s eye for bargains was not to be underestimated, she decided, and something she would have to make use of if they ever went on another joint job.

3. Cat

“I’m sorry,” Minerva apologized, running a lint roller over her evening dress, picking up red cat hairs galore, “but this is probably going to take a while – what do you think about eating in, instead?”

4. Rose

It was a cliché, certainly, but Max had always been a sucker for the classics… and more to the point, it seemed that Minerva was as well, if the blush rising in her cheeks as she inspected the dozen long stemmed red roses was anything to judge by.

5. Guilt

As a spoon rapped upon his knuckles, Max let out a yelp and guiltily withdrew his hand from the bowl of batter Minerva viciously guarded.

6. Heroes

Minerva envied Max his view of the world – so bright and full of heroes to look up to, whereas her own childhood had contained only villains.

7. Spell

He wasn’t anything special to look at, painfully average even – so how was it that Minerva found herself so thoroughly under the spell of his smile?

8. Flawless

A flawless gem of any decent size was more than a little out of Max’s price range, but maybe something flawed would be better suited for them, anyway.

9. Badge

There was a small scar on Minerva’s eyelid – a hardly noticeable, tiny thing, a memento of her time as a demon – that Max would place a kiss upon every night; a badge of merit worth more to Minerva than any the Council could ever bestow.

10. Foam

Minerva stood in the surf, her arms gripping Max’s, as she tried not to giggle at the tickle of foam around their legs.

11. Believer

Most of her days with him were spent waiting for the other shoe to drop, for the day Max would inevitably figure out that she was damaged and not worth the effort, because one day it would, and she had never been a believer of fairy-tale happy endings in the first place.

12. Dancer

Lucy’s impromptu lessons way back when had not really improved Max’s capabilities as a dancer, as Minerva’s sore feet soon found out.

13. Eastern

Max thought maybe there had been a little more enthusiasm than necessary in their kiss for the fake couple act they were trying to pull off for the eastern border patrol, but he wasn’t so sure he minded.

14. Obsession

The rate at which the scruffy Fairy Tail mage was overtaking her daily thoughts was beginning to border on obsession, much to Minerva’s frustration.

15. Gift

An accounting tome hardly seemed an appropriate gift after all the wonderful memories and happiness he’d given to her over the past year, but he certainly did seem extremely excited when he unwrapped it.

16. Plaid

Plaid was definitely not a style Max wore well, but he did wear it proudly, legs akimbo, as Minerva laughed herself silly at his ridiculously scrawny limbs sticking out of the kilt.

17. Weak

To love was to be weak, Jiemma had told her many times, and to be loved was to be pitied – though she was finding that Max’s love made her feel strong, instead.

18. Judgement

This scruffy Fairy had no right to sit in judgement of her, of the things she’d had to do to survive.

19. Fight

An inter-guild brawl was truly something else, Max thought, carefully sweeping bits of the fight debris away from the comatose former combatants, but the warm light spilling from Sabertooth’s kitchen was good company, and so was the gentle humming emanating from within.

20. Monarchy

Max couldn’t help but think it was a bit rich to hear about the faults of monarchy as a government system when it was coming from someone with a former king-complex.

21. Purple

It may have been a faux-pas of the highest order to don the color of royalty at a party which boasted attendance of the genuine article, but Max thought Minerva looked truly stunning in her dress all the same.

22. Crawl

The whispered words of her many detractors didn’t usually crawl under her skin this much, though Minerva suspected it only did so now because she had changed for the better, even if only a few people acknowledged that fact.

23. Hook

It was a strange feeling, of hooks sinking into his very being, and Max sort of wished that his heart had chosen someone a little less dangerous to fixate upon.

24. Rebel

The strength it must have taken for Minerva to rebel against her father in all the little ways that she had was something Max would always admire in her.

25. Feather

Feather-light kisses trailing up her neck, Minerva believed that there was no better place in the world to be than here and loved so much.

26. Ocean

Max inhaled deeply – the breeze carrying with it the scent of the nearby ocean – and he rejoiced that he and Minerva were able to spend their vacation in such a lovely location as this resort.

27. Cryptic

Puzzling out the cryptic reasons behind Minerva’s seemingly unprovoked rages could be a chore and a half; the labyrinth of Minerva’s horrible upbringing hiding more monsters within it than Max would probably ever be permitted to fully understand.

28. Disorientation

Minerva woke up violently, her heart hammering in her chest, cold sweat plastering her clothes and hair to her skin, and found herself in a place she didn’t immediately recognize; it was only upon seeing Max’s sleeping face that the disorientation left over from her nightmares faded, and she was able to calm down once more.

29. Aquatic

Monsters of the aquatic persuasion and seafaring criminals, Minerva discovered, were a lot easier to deal with when one’s partner could create a sandbar anywhere and beach them with ease.

30. Mysterious

Max’s ability to talk about nothing for hours on end would never cease to be bafflingly mysterious to Minerva.

31. Scheme

Concocting a proper scheme to surprise Minerva for her birthday was a tricky proposition at best, but Max was more than willing to rise to the admittedly daunting occasion to make it the most memorable one for her yet.

32. Horizon

Their future together had always felt a transient thing, much like the setting and rising of the sun over the horizon, and yet… it always seemed just as inevitable, as well.

33. Pale

“You need to leave your shop and get some sunlight once in a while,” Minerva lectured her beloved, “and don’t even try to convince me that you already have because you’re paler than Yukino’s hair.”

34. Cheerful

It was an unspoken rule in Sabertooth that under no circumstances were Max and Sting to be left alone with each other for any length of time, or else their equally cheerful dispositions would lead the guild into something catastrophic for them all.

35. Opposition

“How does it feel to be dating the opposition?” Jason inquired of the pair, his enthusiasm for the topic only damped slightly by Minerva’s glare and prior threats upon his person should he even consider uttering the word, “cool,” again.

36.  Daydream

Sometimes, Minerva allowed her mind to wander to the future, her heart and soul filling with pleasant daydreams of a life spent happily with her favorite scruffy Fairy and children they might one day have.

37. Sprites

Malicious sprites were stomping all over her stomach, and Minerva wanted nothing more than to throttle them into submission, but that would have to wait until after she was done emptying said organ into the toilet while Max held her hair back for her.

38. Heartbroken

Her first miscarriage struck her harder than she ever thought possible, leaving both her and Max both utterly heartbroken, and unable to function for a long time; the second and third were, if anything even more painful.

39. Mother

Minerva wished that she had gotten to know her own mother, and some days she wondered if the woman was still somewhere out there in the world – and if maybe she’d be excited to know that she’d become a grandmother.

40. Birthmark

There was a small birthmark behind Max’s right ear that Minerva discovered one day – the blemish rendered extra fascinating by virtue of being in an extremely ticklish place for Max.

41. Amulet

It eventually came to pass that Minerva carried a small locket with her everywhere – an amulet of protection, containing the images of the people she loved most in the world: her husband and their child.

42. Metallic

Blood, metallic and warm, filled Max’s mouth – the unfortunate consequence of accidentally biting his own tongue in the middle of an impassioned retelling of how he’d met the mother of his child and a wound that Minerva would then proceed to tease him about for days.

43. Imprint

Their breaths hung in the air in pale clouds as they walked down the street together, bathed in the gentle glow of streetlamps and their feet following the imprints of frozen leaves on the cement laid out before them to mark the way to the guild celebration that awaited them at the end of their chilly trek.

44. Salt

It was a playful joke in their household that Max was generally discouraged from cooking meals due to his tendency to accidentally over-season anything he made rendering it inedible – though not with salt, but with the fine grains of sand that always stuck to his clothing.

45. Hybrid

Dread filled the pit of Minerva’s stomach – a gross hybrid of worry and foreboding clouding her thoughts as she ruminated endlessly on how Max should have come home from his job long before then, the feeling only alleviating when the welcome sight of his scruffy visage appeared in her doorway.

46. Ginger

Great surprise had consumed Minerva and Max at the sight of their newborn child, and the strange ginger-colored fuzz that covered the infant’s head; although it fell out eventually and was replaced with the same sandy blond as Max’s locks, they never figured out where that first shade had come from.

47. Bittersweet

Chocolate was best served up bittersweet, in Minerva’s opinion, but she would concede to making sweeter batches to suit Max’s tastes for Valentine’s Day, at least.

48. Tree

Flower-viewing beneath the rainbow sakuras was a must for the couple every year; Max insisted that the brightly hued petals sustained the soul and sitting beneath their splendor, Minerva was disinclined to doubt his words.

49. Bewitch

Although the flush of youth had long since faded from their bodies, Max found that Minerva’s smile could still utterly bewitch him.

50. Genuine

In a world where so little had been good for Minerva, the love and friendship she’d found in Max had been the most genuine thing she could wish for, and even at the end of it all, she knew she wouldn’t have changed a thing that had led to it.

[academicsapphic]

University classes are a monster you can’t prepare for until you’re in them. I have been through every up and down with schoolwork possible in the past year, so here are some tips that can hopefully help you avoid those downs:

Choosing and Registering for Your Classes

Make sure to thoroughly check both your major requirements and your gen ed requirements. Normally, you’ll have an advisor to help you make sure you’re on track, but Vandy doesn’t assign first-year engineering students one until after registration when school starts, and I didn’t have an advisor for this year’s registration either due to my major change, so I’ve spent hours and hours doing this on my own. There’s often recommended courses and example schedules in the course catalog that tell you what classes you should be taking at this point in time. Pay attention to that and you should be fine. For example, you have to have taken a first-level writing class to qualify for junior standing here. Those are the little things you have to look out for. To keep track of it all, I have a spreadsheet I use for planning my sophomore - senior years that lists all the requirements I need to meet in terms of hours and courses in order to graduate on time. I plug in possible courses and see which requirement they would fulfill and when. You can check it out here to see what I mean, it’s very helpful.

Find at least one fun elective to take if at all possible. It gets very tiring when all you have on your schedule are really difficult classes that you don’t enjoy. Try to find at least one class that you’re genuinely interested in to help get you excited for the day. Each of my last semesters, my schedule consisted of a calculus class, a lab science, a comp sci class, and Italian. Italian was the only fun one that I enjoyed going to. It really helps you out. You’re not just in college to get your degree, you’re there to discover what you really want to do, so feel free to explore your catalog and take something completely out of character just because you want to. Bonus if it fills some kind of requirement (Italian filled my Foreign Language Proficiency and one of my International Cultures reqs.).

Have multiple versions of your schedule based on which classes you may or may not get into. I don’t know about your school, but at Vanderbilt, class registration is literally like the Hunger Games. You’re assigned an enrollment date based on your year (seniors get to go first, then juniors, etc.) and at 8 am on that day, you refresh the website and either enroll in your classes or get placed on the wait list for it. If you’re a freshman, you’re basically screwed because you go last, and so you could have planned out your perfect schedule only to find they’ve all filled up the day before your enrollment period starts. To avoid having to scramble, have multiple versions of your schedule, with back ups and substitutions for every class. This way, you won’t be surprised when you go to enroll and all but one of your classes are filled, then you have to search for other classes, but at that point, all that’s left are scraps that don’t fit your requirements. Plan plan plan and practice clicking the enroll button on all your classes as fast as you can for when the clock strikes 8.

You have freedom over your schedule now; take advantage of that! No more 8-3 Monday through Friday; you can take classes whenever you want. I prefer to have all my classes on MWF in a block of a few hours and only one or no class on TR. Of course, sometimes you’re going to have to take classes at less optimal times, but do try to accommodate yourself and take classes at times you know will be good for you. Lots of people prefer to start early and finish early, while I like to start no earlier than 11, even if I don’t finish until 5. The best part of college is you can do what you want.

Don’t take 8 ams. I’m repeating this cause it’s important. I swear, you’ll regret it. In high school, I woke up every morning early as hell to catch my bus at 6:30, but in college, it was nearly impossible for me to get up for my 11 am only three times a week. Don’t ever take an 8 am by choice. And if you have no choice, good luck lol.

Don’t be afraid to drop a class. If you’re doing terribly in a class or you absolutely can’t stand it, drop the class. There’s a very little chance that if you’re failing during the first half of the semester, you’ll be able to change your grade dramatically in the second half. Maybe you decided to be an overzealous freshman and signed up for the maximum number of hours possible and now you’re drowning. Drop a class! Sometimes, a course is going to do more harm to you than good, so it’s best to get rid of it than have an F or a W on your transcript.

Use RateMyProfessor! I totally forgot about this when I originally posted this and it’s already got almost 1,000 notes but hopefully people see this. RateMyProfessor is so fucking useful. It’s IMPERATIVE that you check this website before you enroll in classes. Someone at Vandy actually made a Chrome extension for our enrollment website that automatically shows a professor’s ranking while you’re looking for classes. Obviously, take it with a grain of salt, and make sure the reviews actually make valid points about the workload and class and isn’t just someone bitter about failing. I took calc with a professor who taught at my high school just cause she taught at my high school even though her reviews said she was insanely difficult and the class was near impossible to pass. Guess what? They were right and I failed as did a big chunk of everyone else in her class. You don’t have to let RMP dictate your schedule, but definitely check it out, and if everyone says the professor is awful, don’t fucking take them. 

Attending Your Classes

Establish a connection with your professor early. I recommended introducing yourself on the first day of class just so they know your name and face in another post. It’d be even better to attend an office hour or review session or something. Just make sure they know you. It’ll be easier to communicate when you need something later in the semester if it isn’t their first time seeing you.

Actually use this connection with your professors. In my experience, they can be pretty understanding and when you’re in a bad place, they’ll likely help you out. If something is preventing you from doing your best in class, go to them for help (I didn’t go to many office hours but I wish I did! Who better to explain to you something you don’t understand than the person who grades you on it?) or explain to them your situation. I had professors let me take tests late and redo assignments due to my mental health after I explained to them I wasn’t just a terrible student; if it wasn’t for this, I would’ve failed all of their classes. Maybe at the end of the semester they’ll drop one of your wonky grades or bump you up that extra half point you need. Your professors are a resource, and it’s up to you to use it.

Take notes however you want. I used my laptop in some, paper in others, and even my iPad and a stylus for calculus. In all of your classes will be a mixture of different techniques and no one cares what you do. Whatever works best for you and helps you get down the most information is what you should do. Also, you don’t have to write down everything. If your professor uses slides and posts them for you to download, you don’t really have to write down anything at all unless they add extra points, so that’s really convenient. 

You don’t have to sit in the front. As long as you can see and hear, which you’ll likely be able to due to large projection screens and microphones, it literally doesn’t matter where you sit. In my experience, the professors call on people from every part of the lecture hall, so everyone gets an equal chance at participation. It’s up to yourself to make sure you can pay attention, not your seat.

Do your best to attend every single class meeting. It’s inevitable that you’re going to miss class at some point; you will get sick, you won’t have finished an assignment, you’ll need a mental health day, something will happen. Missing class can too easily become a habit if you do it often, so try to never do it. Don’t force yourself to go if you can’t handle it, obviously your health always comes first, but I mean don’t skip cause you want to sleep in or cause you just don’t feel like going. If you do have to miss class and 1) you have a good reason for it (i.e. sickness) and 2) it’s a class small enough that your professor will notice you’re not there, email them and let them know why, just so they’re aware you’re not just skipping to skip.  

Try to make friends in your classes. A little study group would be even better. It’ll be really useful to have someone who can help you with a homework question you don’t understand or send you their notes when you miss a class. It can also be great to study with other people, depending on how you study best. I’ve had friends in all my classes so far and it’s been a great help, even if we just complained about the test we just failed then went to get pizza.

Tackling the Coursework

Make a REALISTIC study schedule. The key word here is realistic. During winter break I made a study schedule that started with me waking up at 8 am every morning to go work out and ended with me going to sleep promptly at 11 or midnight after spending literally the entire day studying with breaks only for meals. No breaks on weekends, no room to socialize, and I thought this would be perfectly fine for me to follow. Of course, I didn’t last a week because that was fucking ridiculous. You don’t need to schedule every hour of your day; college doesn’t work like that. Just do something simple, an hour for a class or maybe less depending on how hard it is and if you have a test coming up. Trust your instincts. There’s no need to go overboard, and you don’t need to spend six hours a day working, just dedicate a time to studying and stick with that.

Explore study techniques until you find one that works for you. Everyone doesn’t study the same, so if you do what everyone else is doing you might not get the results you want. Even if you had a great system in high school, it might not be fitting for college, so check out a bunch of different methods and see how you do with them. Once you find the best way you study, you’ll be unstoppable when exam time comes.

Start your assignments early, as soon as you can after they’re assigned. There’s nothing worse than having a bunch of assignments/tests/papers due on the same day and you haven’t finished any of them. Trust me, it is so much less stressful to complete an assignment as soon as you can after it’s been assigned so you don’t have to worry about it anymore. Putting things off has much more severe consequences than it did in high school and you will regret procrastinating. If you have a weekly assignment due every Friday, try to complete them by Wednesday every week. At the very least, start an assignment the day you get it even if you can’t finish it that day. It’s a lot easier to do something after you’ve already begun working on it, and that one thing you do is progress.

The name of the college game is prioritization. If college teaches you anything, it’s how to prioritize your duties. You need to create a hierarchy of importance for your classes and types of assignments. For me, calculus assignments were always done first because that was the most difficult class and the one I absolutely needed to pass, and Italian was always done last cause it was my easiest class and I could complete even our biggest assignments in one day. You’re going to have a very large amount of work and sometimes you have to sacrifice finishing a small homework assignment to finish a huge paper or study for an exam. I liked to complete my hardest/longest assignments right when I got back from class to get them over with and leave my easier ones for later. Prioritizing is essential if you want to succeed in university, so learn how to do it immediately! 

Remember that uni is really difficult and your grades don’t define you. Something I learned the hard way is that sometimes you can try really really hard, do the best you can, and still fail. That’s just life. Sometimes you have to do something a million times before you get it right, or before you discover that it just isn’t right for you at all. I worked harder than I ever had this past year, and what I got in return was two failed classes, two D’s, academic probation, and a 2.3 GPA. Actually, my current GPA isn’t even a 2.3, it’s a 2.295, which is probably blasphemy to the studyblr community, but this shit happens. It happens to all of us and it sucks. It can be really shitty to feel like your effort wasn’t reflected in your result. What you need to do is adjust your expectations and keep working hard. After you hit your stride, your grades could be great in no time. Or you could discover that math or science or english just isn’t for you. Maybe you’ll discover university as a whole isn’t right for you, and that’s okay! Bad grades, whether you define that as a B or an F, don’t mean you’re a bad student or a bad person. You do what you can, and then let go of what you can’t control. The sooner you grasp this idea, and the sooner you learn to be gentle with yourself, the easier a time you’ll have.

So I feel like I forgot a lot of things but also this is pretty long so I’m going to end the post here. If you have any further questions or topics for a post you’d like to see, my inbox is always open. I don’t know which post is coming next, but I’ll keep you posted. Thanks for reading and I hope this helped you out!

Previous Posts:

Application Process

Choosing/Changing Majors

Orientation/Move-In/First Day of Classes

Roommates