dragonshost

[dragonshost]

[dragonshost]

oh boy i wish someone would notice my cries for help! [someone actually notices] noooo i'm fine don't worry about me

[dragonshost]

There’s a serial killer in your town. Unfortunately for them you are a necromancer and you have fun driving that maniac insane.

[dragonshost]

in tha story building process again... i think the transition from "here's some stuff i like all put in a blender" to "here's what i want to say" in the process is pretty cool. sometimes the stuff i like has to come out of the blender because it won't contribute to what i want to say

[dragonshost]

I just found the funniest font ever

Like. What is this. Why is this. Who is the target audience of this?

[dragonshost]

A cute example of what I've taken to calling "toddler transcription" - where moms/older siblings would copy down phonetically what pre-school aged children wanted to write to Santa.

Berneice was three and, given all the Cs swapped with Ts, I suspect she had a stuffy nose.

(source: The Marysville Tribune, December 16, 1896.)

[dragonshost]

[dragonshost]

why is it called a "stick" of butter. that is blatantly a The Ingot

[dragonshost]

these teenagers and their dog are trying ruin our money laundering business. no tony put the gun down were doing this the old fashioned way. were gonna dress up as monsters and scare them

[dragonshost]

having a freeze response to stress is so funny in the context of normal adult stressors. millions of years of evolution are trying to tell me that the email will not find me if i stay very still and do nothing

[dragonshost]

would you consider yourself an intelligent and sensitive pervert?

i've been saving this in my inbox for months because i don't feel like i have the words to match this. it's a shameful breach of my humility to answer yes, yes i do consider myself an intelligent and sensitive pervert. i love how you worded that. this is like a therapist's screening question.

[dragonshost]

officially the best line in The Odyssey

[dragonshost]

Judge magazine, January 19, 1927

[dragonshost]

WHAT THE FUUUUUUCK ME ME ME ME ME ME

[dragonshost]

Your boyfriend starts mumbling in Latin in his sleep and it scares the hell out of you but upon translation he’s introducing himself, inquiring on the price of grain, attempting to sell dormice, brainstorming silly Saturnalia gift ideas. In his sleep he somehow becomes a 1st century BC plebeian, of modest means but with a pleasant outlook on mundane life.

[dragonshost]

[dragonshost]

one of my worst writing sins is abusing my power to create compound words. i cannot write the sentence "The sun shone as bright as honey that afternoon." no. that's boring. "The sun was honey-bright that afternoon" however? yes. that sentence is dope as fuck. i do not care if "honey-bright" is a word in the english dictionary. i do not care if the sentence is grammatically correct. i will not change. i will not correct my erred ways. the laws of the english language are mine.