#it would also be nice to not be in pain when gw starts in a few days ............... pls

[irondeficiencyqueen]

30 day thinspo challenge

but I do it all in one day as a distraction🌸

1. I’m 22yrs, 170cm, f, 63/64kg.

2. 170cm, no I feel too tall. Would love to be a tiny girl, but was cursed with long legs.

3. Nah too lazy but like her ➡️🩻💀

4. Losing hair or my period..

5. I’m doing it for 13 year old me who got teased at school for being bigger. I have always felt picked on because of it. Right now I am also preparing for a bikini fitness show so I have to hit 10% bodyfat.

6. Yes, because I get stressed. I have BED. Food has always been comfort for me ever since I was a kid.

7. They know, and they praised it for a bit, but now they want me to stop. They are worried<3 makes me feel so validated

8. 5 days a week I do strength training, and 7 days a week I do 1 hour of cardio.

9. YES.

«I can’t carry you you’re too fat»

«Are you really gonna eat that? I think you have had too much already»

«I can carry her, but you have to walk yourself, you’re too big»

«You eat so much»

«You always eat everything by yourself, why are you not saving any for me??»

«I’m worried about your weight» said my 40kg bestfriend😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

10. Well nothing because I fucking suck and binge and purge. And chew and spit. But on the days where I’m on track, I’m really missing chocolate and cookies.

11. None rn, bc I just hopped back on Tumblr this month.

12. Breakfast is yoghurt with berries, lunch/dinner is chicken and veggies, and for the evening we got yoghurt and berries again. Total of 1200-1300 cals ish

13. Unhealthy lol

14. 53kg. I want one of my gws (55kg) by 21st of September, so hopefully 28th?

15. Not vegan, not vegetarian. I was pescetarian for a couple months, but it is unsustainable for me. I need balance and meat.

16. It started when I was 13, and it got pretty bad up until like 15 or so.. Then I kinda recovered, still hated my body, just didn’t starve. And I’ve been on and off ana. Mia is back too this time.

17. No just a big fan of the community💀BRO WHAT DO U THINK HAGAGAHAH, yes.

18. Chocolate and cookies.

19. 9 hours ago. (Fasting rn)

20. Calorie deficit ahahah I don’t follow diets. I am a nutritionist, so I know how this works🤌

21. Eu sizes XS-S (36) in pants, S in tops.

22. My lw doesn’t count as I was still growing in puberty at the time, but then I was 55kg. Gained mainly bc of birth control pills, but also giving up ana.

23. I’m an influencer so, yeah🥹I am very self conscious of everything I post.

24. I don’t promote anything, and I want people to get better ofc. However, I think it’s nice that we all have this together, so we don’t feel so alone <3

25. Yes. Can’t remember my first time. Been a lot of times🥲but it used to be very painful.

26. Being HER 🤌The satisfaction of finally getting to my goal after years and years of pain. Being picked up without being embarassed. Looking classy, all clothes look good, people envy me, wondering how I did it.

27. Anxious and scared

28. Yes because it gets sweaty and I feel nasty when they rub together

29. Me when I hit 53kg. Like literally I’m not trying to come off as a narcissist or anything, but I KNOW, that I am so pretty. I just need to lose a bit of weight and I’ll be her.

30. Scared to drop too specific facts in case someone recognize me.. but I like pink! I want to move to a warm country like Thailand or Bali. I am a liar to the people closest to me, because of this ed and sa. I believe I am a good person for the most part and I have good intentions in my heart always, I’ll forever be a girls girl. I love animals. I love soft feminine music but also listen to heavy metal. I don’t know who I am. I feel like I have two people in my head who are two different personalities.

Thanks for reading <3

[adhdvane]

so i went to the er yesterday morning (?? it was like 5 am yesterday so i guess it counts as yesterday and not 2 days ago). i was in extreme pain on the left side of my face around my jaw and ear and stuff. honestly the first time i’ve ever been in such excruciating pain that i was sobbing holding back screaming (it started around 2:30 am). :) was diagnosed with trigeminal neuralgia and given seizure medication bc that’s what they treat it with to help nerve pain. now i need to make an appointment with a neurologist. (i did get a ct scan at the hospital to make sure they could rule out something wrong with my sinuses or an abscess in my gums, which my mom was worried about, but the doctor doubted because if that was the problem it shouldn’t be causes pain on both the upper and lower jaw, and it was very unlikely that i suddenly had two of them pop up at the same time and cause pain in both places, thankfully the ct scan showed there wasn’t any.) it’s apparently uncommon for someone as young as me to experience this :) so far it’s mostly working (the pain that started at 2:30 finally subsided around 9 am yesterday). though it hurt like hell last night for a while (before sort of subsiding and i passed out some time around 3 or something idk i know i took stuff at 5 am and passed out again but woke up in pain again at 7 am and took stuff pain killers (bc i was told to take those too) and passed out again and woke up around 11 am not in pain?? and im okay now. i mean at least i was able to sleep and took the meds and pain killers at 1 bc im supposed to do it every 8 hours. it was weird but like previously i hadn’t slept all night to i passed out that day at like 9 am and slept til 4 so my sleep was messed up.). i can’t lay on my left side at all. i didn’t take my adhd meds yesterday so i could sleep bc i got zero sleep the night before because of the pain. so i’m back on them today so i feel a little weird. i just need to get this shit under control so i can go back to work.

[creativebaby]

This but make it recovering

And we're a system, I'm the host, nice to meet you!

1. Your stats

Age: 18 y/o

Current Weight: 59.5 kg

Old GW: 50 kg

New Goal: recovering, building a healthy relationship with food, getting back to the weight we started at

2. How tall are you, do you like your height?

173.5 cm, almost 6ft

It's a nice height to be at, especially as a nonbinary/genderfluid person, I do like it

3. A picture of your thinspiration. What features do you like about this person?

We used to look at a lot of thinspo, especially when we suffered from this the most. Our old host was obsessed with loosing weight, their favourite were youtube food-diaries. They liked the control, the calm these people had, the motivation and commitment

I won't put pictures, links or names, as to avoid triggers

4. Your greatest fear about weight loss

My (specifically MY) greatest fear about loosing weight is, how fragile and breakable you become.

5. Why do you really want to loose weight? Are you doing it for you?

We developed this ED because of dysphoria, dysmorphia, phantom pains and phantom limbs, and because we feel like we shouldn't be an adult yet

6. Do you binge? If so, explain why you think you do

While we were severely disordered, we'd binge often when other parts would front, because they felt how hungry we were and how bad we were doing physically and mentally

Now we binge, because we are still working on a better relationship with the food we consume

7. Do your parents know you are trying to loose weight? Do they care?

They never knew, we got our disordered ideas to a big part from the bodies mother, who struggles with her own weight a lot. A lot of things we also learnt on the internet. Neither of them noticed us weighting food, restricting, binging, purging, the sudden interest in sports, counting calories, etc, etc. They most likely would pretend to care for a week and then brush it under the rug

8. Your workout routine

We used to bike a lot, walk the way back home from the train station (about 3km), but other than that we never really had the motivation to do a lot

9. Did people ever make comments about your weight in a megative way?

That started very early, and never subsided, no matter how much or little we weight

10. What was the hardest thing you gave up during this weight loss

Candies, our old host had a huge sweet tooth. They also gave away their bodily autonomy to another member of the system during that time.

11. Your favourite thinspo blog and why

Someone on Youtube, who they used to watch consistently as a reminder to keep loosing weight and to "be in control". The videos were incredibly aesthetic and relatable

12. What do you normally eat?

We used to eat "omlette" (an egg with 10ml of milk to add some mass) and low-cal Ramen with just the tiniest bit of soy sauce for some sort of flavour

Nowadays I enjoy Burgers a lot, and in general vegetarian and vegan food over meat!

13. Are you loosing weight in a healthy or unhealthy way?

Very unhealthy, our calories intake for the longest time was 400-800 a day, spare binges

14. What's your UGW? When do you expect to reach it?

It used to be 45-50 kg, we never had a set date for it. It was just a thing our old host so desperatly wanted, so they'd be small again

15. Are you Vegan or Vegetarian? If so, has this helped you loose weight? If not, would you ever consider turning Vegan or Vegetarian?

Neither, but we'd like to eventually be Vegan, even though we don't aim to loose weight anymore!

16. When did you first decide to loose weight?

Probably at age 12, when we started to get bullied a lot, though the comments on our body dtarted way before that

17. Do you have an eating disorder?

We're fighting it, but yes.

18. What food is your weakness?

"Weakness" is the wrong word. Something I can always eat, is cheese!

19. When is the last time you ate fast food?

I'm holding a Mozarella Stick right now ;D

20. Favourite Diet

I am not sure if this counts, but in Pro-Ana spaces you'll find "xxx- diet", for example "purple diet", "hello kitty diet", etc etc, and our favourite was the "Kuromi Diet". These "Diet Plans" are usually way under 1000 calories/day, last between 5-10 days and have some sort of challenge in them, like "Drink 8 liters of water", "Walk a million steps" (exaggerated)

21. What are your clothing sizes?

XS-S, aka a 0-1, or 36-38. Though, we prefer XL

22. What was your lowest weight? How and why did you gain?

Our lowest weight was 52 kg. We had a very unexpected host switch (from the old one to me), and I am strictly against disordered eating.

23. Did the media play a role in your wanting to loose weight?

Very probable

24. How do you feel about the terms "pro ana/pro mia"?

Disgusting~

25. Have you ever purged? If you have, describe your first experience

Yeah! I have haha it was awful -^- I absolutely died with acid reflex and stuff oof... For like days after, n I only did it like three times bc I hate the way puking feels ik I'm weak :/

26. What excites you most about reaching your UGW?

I could be small again!!!! (*^*)

27. How do you deal with being around food?

I don't like it, we usually switch! :/ I can't stand it

It's ok haha we help each other and in general a lot of us are pretty ok with it

28. Do you want that gap between your legs? Why?

I doooo it's so much prettier! And then the skin won't stick together and sweat it's so gross!! >~<

29. Your definition of beauty

Beauty is happiness. Someone who is happy, automatically is beautiful. But there's also a darker shade of beauty, in grief and pain and sadness

30. 10 facts about you! And now, what are your stats?

Ten facts about us? Well then...

1. Our headmate-count currently (2.8.22.) is 135 parts

2. This post was made by our current host (Luna, blue, sign-off 🐇), and our last host before them (Sephtis, purple, sign-off 🌙)

3. We want to encourage others to recover

4. We still have parts that struggle with the disorder, they're our ED-symptom holders

5. We want to study psychology in London

6. We're currently going to a fashion school! \(^°^)/

7. Our Simply Plural @ is BackgroundNoise

8. We try to post on our system blog regularly, but this vent-blog is far more enticing (especially to me)

9. Some of our irl-friends know we're a system!!!!!

10. We wrote this in a single day, and now we're tired~

Our stats? Haven't changed. Not that they matter, it's alright to show only what you want, even on the internet

I hope some of this is relatable to some people. If you need someone to talk to, our dms are always open~

We hope everyone in these tags is doing amazing!

[janiedean]

Hi Janie, loved your content and love your goals, love reading them and most of all love Throbb (he goes to cry in his room) and I can't help but wonder about what Robb's reaction would have been if he had been reunited with Theon and also greywind's reaction. We know that wolves are very attached to their owners and understandably Robb would have been angry and sad, and maybe that would have made greywind growl at him do you think what would have been his reaction?

Hope you have a nice day 💕

Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version)

hey thank you so much! :D and sorry for the late reply T_T and I mean if you mean what would have realistically happened in canon if robb survived the RW along with grey wind and they were reunited well not counting that I still need to finish that fanfic but that wasn't supposed to be... what grrm would have written, I think that

given that robb openly said he never wanted theon tortured

given that robb didn't immediately go back to take wf when he learned theon took it which was honestly stupid decision™

given that theon might have come to the i should have died with him realization later in adwd but like... in the early part of adwd in his chapter robb's name comes up more than his own so like it was obvious he would have been openly sorry about it

given that gw never growled at theon but did at jeyne's mother and everyone who actually did eventually hurt him it's obvious that gw knew who actually was a danger and who wasn't

given that at this point it's plenty obvious that robb a) warged into gw b) was desperately trying to reign that side of his in and probably really regretted it eventually so I'd like to hope that he'd have embraced that side more had he lived

given that it would have come out at that point that bran and rickon actually never were killed in the first place which was the one thing that made robb realize he had done fucked up sort of keeping on trusting theon AFTER he took his own castle

I think robb would have had a lot of complicated feelings about it because like okay it's your best friend who betrayed you and pretended to kill your brothers and that has to be a political prisoner so obviously he'd have been sad and angry but idk if he'd have managed to stay angry for much longer knowing the background

gw like... well he's attuned to robb so he would have growled at him some but if he could perceive that theon never meant anything wrong/hadn't started off wanting to betray robb idt he'd have done any more than that

like I think it would have been a painful first meeting where a lot of hurtful things would have had to come up in the open but where like... let's be real one thing would have been robb dealing with acok!theon if he got to wf before ramsay did his thing because that still was... well the person he knew/thought he knew, one thing would have been robb dealing with post-ramsay!theon because how tf do you stay angry at someone after that especially if it turns out they never meant to hurt you/they never hated you/they never meant to betray you and we're talking about robb stark aka my best friends are my father's hostage that my father might kill one day and my bastard brother that my mother hates openly, I think he'd have been angry and resentful and sad but it could like.... not be something they couldn't eventually get over if the both of them survived the whole thing and so on but that's my two cents X°D

[my-hyperfixation-trash-can]

Hetalia’s Russia and DID/OSDD 1-b

Hey! So @autistic-hetalia your blog said you accept neurodiverse head canons and I thought maybe I could share this one with your blog!

I believe the Hetalia character of Russia has OSDD 1-b (Otherwise Specified Disociative Disorder or possibly DID, being Dissociative Identity Disorder) and this is why.

Just a note,

There is no such thing as an evil alter. Do not demonize people with DID or Other Dissociative Disorders! Those with this disorder are victims of Trauma and are likely to continue being victims of abusers, rarely do they become abusers!

Anyways, -cough cough- I’d love if anyone wants to add to this with more evidence!

1. Russia had a traumatic childhood

He is shown to have had abusive bosses who would punish him. He is threatened by one to invent steam power by the end of the week or be punished. Tartar Yoke mentioned by Lithuania as one of his bosses was also known for his cruelty. So the Authority figured in his youth were often cruel and held power over him.

His environment is cold and unforgiving much like an abusive home. Russia often describes his home as cold, quiet and lonely. He rarely found support from his land and often struggled to get by. The environment and home were harsh with little support. It is also implied he froze to death each Winter, and celebrated the year he didn’t.

This is on top of having to deal with other nations attacking him, making him feel helpless. Many nations “bullied” him in attempts to conquer him. He was mobed and pursed every day by Mongolia. That is exhausting to have everyone around you be a threat. (Lithuania and his sisters were the only nations kind to him in his youth) Early on, he learns that force and strength are what matters.

Next point tw sexual abuse and assault

He also felt a great deal of responsibility to care for his sisters. He was close to them, as they were experiencing similar issues and not violent to him. He had to be the strong one. Belarus and her unhealthy attachment to Russia depending on the age she started her behaviors may have also contributed to his trauma. All of the siblings have unhealthy attitudes towards boundaries with their bodies and the bodies of others, implying another type of abuse. Ukraine and Belarus took victim roles. Russia took on an abusers. Ukraine only ever suggests using her body to get what she wants as if never taught anything else, even as a child that’s what she knows. Belarus I don’t know where to begin, but her staring off is certainly dissociative like, paired with other trust issues. In a diary entry she is stated to have possibly messaged Ukraine’s breasts, once again showing more unhealthy boundaries with attachments to loved ones. Someone taught her that. And Russia, who internalized his abusers, acted out his abuse on others as implied with Lithuania looking distressed dressed as a maid and Russia holding a whip. In another non canon game Himaura worked on, Bulgaria in the bad ending is shown tied up and naked implied to be whipped by Russia as Russia says this is “tradition” or possibly more routine implying this is something he does often.

The idea with dissociative disorders is that the repetitive trauma that happens has to be too much for the mind of that individual child in comparison to the culture they’re raised in, and it conflicts with getting their needs met. And to the countries, all of them know Russia has had a life with far more conflicts in his youth than most, and a great deal of pain.

2. Russia has General Winter (GW for short)

General Winter manifests when Russia is being attacked by other nations in order to defend him, or to be a tormentor to Russia himself (such as freezing him to death each Winter).

This is oddly similar to what is known as a persecutor alter. These alters have the goal in mind to protect the host or body, but they’re a bit misguided in how to do that. They might take on the form of an abuser, or something outside the body, this turns into being an Introject. I’ll post a link to more info on DID/OSDD at the end of the post. The educational videos playlist will have a video on alter roles.

Russia’s bosses often abused him, and if he had an alter like this it would make sense that it would take the form of a general, someone in power who feels so much bigger and stronger than him. A boss who can push him around and make him behave in a way that will avoid further trauma from the real abusers. Winter the season, being another tormenting force of the environment, is another abuser, and it makes sense GW would take that into his identity. Russia feels helpless to it. It is also worth noting that other nations who also had to deal with Harsh winters do not have General Winter as an ally. He only protects Russia.

It would also explain why General Winter protects Russia from others attacking him. He took the ideologies of his abusers to heart, so GW pushes people away and treats them like threats. He feels strong by holding power and fear over others and force. If I can be stronger, no one can hurt me or would dare try, this is the mentality.

I believe GW can manifest as he does because Russia has magic. It’s canon that Russia can do magic or has a strange magic of his own, so whose to say GW can’t utilize it too. Perhaps even to let himself manifest sometimes in his spirit like form. This is more a headcanon or idea though.

Russia himself however is shown to be very passive with his bosses. These are people who hold power over him that he can’t really run away from or fight. So his response is to faun or freeze. This is basically stated in the comics (picture below.) and it’s often that alters have a specific role. Russia’s would be to people please those who he can’t fight. Making General Winter’s job to defend from attack.

3. Russia is shown to dissociate

When he is told to do an impossible amount of work, he just straight up loses himself in a fantasy immediately to escape the reality of the situation. There are other instances too, some in his childhood directly, but this was the most overt. This is from To your Hearts content, Russia!

4. Russia Is Inconsistent

There are times when Russia feels very different from moment to moment.

He goes from open about himself to swiftly sadistic and cold. He has moments of childish behavior to moments of maturity. These, when combined with the rest of my points, are worth noting. He both wants to hurt (possibly destroy) the others, but also be liked by them?

You can’t destroy people and have them like you.

The baltic Trio who lived a substantial amount of time with him still are confused by his unpredictable behavior. Each encounter The Baltic’s have with Russia is marked by a fear of what he might do. And not having certainty, thus they say things without knowing if it’s safe or not.

Even to Lithuania, (Whom Russia often shows Vulnerability to, in moments like bloody Sunday and Sharing his dreams in Outsourcing Sequel)living with Russia feels a strange theme park where he never knew what to expect. Lithuania has been shown to be great in strategy and games of wit, and a commendable leader with great people skills, yet he only has a general idea of Russia’s behavior? He is seen advising Prussia and Moldova that Russia likes it when people laugh or cry easily (This being predictable to Russia and thus easier to navigate social situations with) so it’s not like Lithuania isn’t paying attention. Russia shows moments of vulnerability and his thought process in panels like Bloody Sunday, which is quite telling as to what he believes are his responsibilities, and how the world works.

Now the real question is “why is he like this?”

He only understands the world from the point of view of someone who still lives in the abuse and knows no other options. He never had anyone teach or show him different. His world is ruled by who is the strongest, and if you can obey the strong you won’t get hurt or discarded. “We don’t want children who can’t play nice,” sounds like something an abuser told him frequently in his youth.

Russia just doesn’t have a support system due to his strained relationships with everyone. So he keeps relying on old defense mechanisms, hence letting General Winter step in when something threatens his sense of safety.

Nearly Every time (at least that’s what I noticed) Russia is emotionally vulnerable to someone, he suddenly changes to be sadistic or scary. It successfully pushes the person away and Reestablishes the fear of Russia in the individual, returning him to a state of being feared and alone where none of the other countries can hurt him. Examples below.

France talking to Russia after meetings and asking him personal questions would result in Russia ending the conversation by scaring him with a scsry remark and aura suddenly.

Russia Comforting China after Japan turns on him, he is kind and compassionate at first, but suddenly changes at the end.

The Baltic Trio never knows what to expect. He frequently uses fear and force to keep them.

This behavior seems directly contradictory to wanting friends and having a warm and lively home. So GW still reacts with a trauma response, and Russia reacts in line with his wishes of making friends and having others around him. The Use of force and intimidation is naturally the middle ground between their wishes. Russia believes everyone is his friends, and doesn’t see how his behavior is pushing people away. Other times he seems to want friends to like him back, like when he sent France an anonymously written letter to his radio show. However he has wishes that contradict.

Now, I think he sees friends as people he can keep near him that he enjoys the company of. (This doesn’t need to be mutual or involve trust, just force) but those wants directly contradict.

I think GW is passively influencing him with some of the behavior rather than switching out right, but either option still would have the same effects. Passive influence is when an alter is close to the front, or feels/thinks something strong enough that it affects the person at the front. Making them behave in a way that is ooc for them, but not the other who intentionally or unintentionally influenced them.

This would explain sudden shifts to a cruel threatening position with other nations, something that will most likely always be a threat GW needs to defend against. He is particularly cold and defensive with anyone that has a chance to hurt him, (or tries to look into his psyche) regardless of if they made a move to do so.

More on passive influence can be found in the sources at the bottom under educational playlist.

5. Misc. Points of knowledge

Russia’s character originally was meant to be a cry baby, and only when he drinks, has a complete switch in personality. Frankly I’m glad he was changed to the complex guy we have now. However I think this concept wasn’t fully lost.

His character song, Winter, seems to talk of him experiencing freezing to death each Winter. Further adding to his repetitive trauma.

It is not unheard of for nations to have disorders and conditions. Australia has ADHD, Prussia is Albino, Lithuania has severe anxiety (and possibly PTSD), so who is to say a nation like Russia can’t have a dissociative disorder?

It is stated in one of Russia’s character bios that “General Winter is always with him”, however where? I don’t physically see him, but perhaps we can’t because he’s sharing a body with Russia.

In summary

Russia dissociates under stress

Russia has repetitive traumas and an ongoing history of abuse all his life

Russia has inconsistent behavior and attachments

General Winter could certainly be a separate personality and functions exactly like an introject/persecutor alter would to their host.

Russia acts out and damages relationships, acting in inconsistent ways that might play out his own abuse, and/or reflect his desires to keep others near him.

As a note, I actually have DID, so this could be my projecting, but please don’t yell at me about how I made a “villain” have DID and feed into evil alters and split Stareotypes. I would only like to raise interest and provide an example of what a misrepresented disorder can look like. And the links below are there if you want to make your mind up for yourself and educate yourself if this inspires your portrayal of him! This isn’t meant to be insensitive, I’ve been working on this post for months to word it as sensitive as I could while also acknowledging Russia is still responsible for his and GW’s actions. Saying he has DID isn’t to excuse it, just explain it.

Don’t erase his victims, but don’t erase that he also is one.

(This blog below was also really helpful, but this post covers a lot of Russia’s earlier trauma and his mentality)

https://ellawritesficssometimes.tumblr.com/post/175060886956

Research for DID and OSDD 1b below: (along with links to comics)

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLm56LzW0BA_P7-yL3rK7INZDDozTayJvJ

https://www.hetarchive.net/blog/tag/russia/

http://hetarchive.net/tag/russia/

http://www.hetarchive.net/blog/2013/10/11/blog-entry-1411/

https://hetalia.fandom.com/wiki/Russia

https://www.hetarchive.net/blog/2019/01/29/about-the-fact-that-russias-history-is-too-scary/

Below is for an example of dissociation:

http://www.hetarchive.net/blog/2019/02/28/to-your-hearts-content-russia/

https://youtu.be/ZV3ToVA5BqQ

https://did-research.org/origin/comorbid/dd/osdd_udd/index.html

[thisweekingundamevents]

This Week in Gundam Wing 25-31 October 2020

Here’s this week’s roundup! Oct 25th-31st!

Remember to give your content creators some love! Be sure to join in on the events at the bottom! And remember to send in any new works next week!

~Mod Hel

Fanfiction/Snippets/AU Ideas:

@amberlyinviolet

I Can Kiss You For Free Now https://archiveofourown.org/works/27208864?view_adult=true

M/M, Chang Wufei/Duo Maxwell

Mature, Fluff, Vague angst

His insides were a riot of overgrown flower beds, bushes in need of pruning. When he tried to clear a space it was filled with something else--debris from his shipwrecked heart, mud from too much rain. It was a constant effort and Duo worked hard, so hard, to try and tidy it into something he could give away. Something neat and beautiful and with no sharp edges that he could offer with both hands, instead of what he had. Instead of slow seeping poison and the constant upkeep, the steady, leaching need for reassurance.

To Bethlehem It Slouched https://archiveofourown.org/works/27232870

M/M, Chang Wufei/Duo Maxwell

Duo Maxwell, Chang Wufei, Trowa Barton

Mature, Mentions of Violence, Off-screen Minor Character Death, Hospital, protective instinct 

The hospital is a hospital. Duo hates it the way he hates all of them. It’s 12:04 in the afternoon and he all but runs to the trauma center. Stands blank faced as the nurse says words like “concussion” and “minor” and “lucky” and wonders how he’s supposed to be grateful for this. How he’s supposed to feel good that Wufei isn’t dead when he almost was. Lucky means close. Means a few inches either way and it would’ve been different words. Words like “sorry” and “condolences” and “tragic.”

You, Soft And Only https://archiveofourown.org/works/27247480

M/M, Chang Wufei/Duo Maxwell

Mature, Romance, Softness, Fluff

It’s evening. The kitchen is warm and full of smells. There’s soft light coming in through the window over the sink and Duo is up to his elbows in soap bubbles. He is illuminated, singing along to something upbeat and Wufei watches him from the doorway with wonder. This, he thinks, is his. It’s not exactly a reward. It’s more an offering. A vulnerability that Wufei knows Duo is only comfortable sharing because he trusts Wufei. Because together they’ve built something that’s safe, even if it is a little wobbly. They don’t have to be anything else here, just themselves, and just themselves is enough. It’s something they give to each other over and over, and Wufei treasures it the same way he treasures the man at the sink.

The Fire In Your Eyes https://archiveofourown.org/works/27264679

M/M, Chang Wufei/Duo Maxwell

Mature, Plotting

“No what ifs.” It’s firm. Steely, and Duo finds himself at the end of one of Wufei’s looks. Finds himself melting despite the chaos around them. The hurricane of fear in his chest. How he loves this man. How he loves the way he understands him, his need to fix this, and combats it with chamomile and the promise of bed, together. Duo takes a sip of his tea and leans into him.

The Blood Is On Your Tongue As Well As Your Hands https://archiveofourown.org/works/27282487

M/M, Chang Wufei/Duo Maxwell

Mature, Panic Attack, PTSD, Rage, Violence, Suggested Co-dependence

He doesn’t feel safe. Avoids eye contact and looks out the window. Doesn’t know how this room of people can stand him, after everything he’s done. All the little pieces he’s stolen from them, or the big pieces. Duo isn’t exactly a liar but he is a thief and none of the people he loves are safe. Are, in fact, in the most danger and Duo takes another sip of whiskey. Takes another sip of whiskey and tries not to taste the rising bile. Not to feel the sharp scratchy static at the back of his neck. The base of his skull. There is heat. There is heat and electricity and Duo’s hands shake.

Lay Us Down https://archiveofourown.org/works/27286864

M/M, Chang Wufei/Duo Maxwell

Explicit, soft, Confessions, Smut, Feelings

Sometimes their bed seems endless. An expanse of sheets and skin and the silk of their hair, spread out on a pillow. Falling like a curtain around them as they kiss. Wufei has had his body his whole life, but this is the first time he’s ever felt settled in it. Felt like all of it belonged to him in a way he could revel in. Whatever insecurities he has seem to fall away under the heat of Duo’s violet gaze. Under every greedy sweep of Duo’s hand from the back of his neck to his tailbone. They are lying side by side. They are only kissing and it’s such a simple thing but Wufei isn’t sure he’s ever felt anything like this before. That the brush of lips against his has ever sent such a spark through him. Coiled such a fierce need in his belly.

@angelselene

Stand Without Flinching (Ch. 24) https://archiveofourown.org/works/22763293/chapters/66640444

5 pilots + The Avengers

1x2, 3x4, 5xS, TonyxSteve, WandaxVision

MATURE, post-canon, canon divergent, fix-it, GW/MCU crossover, PTSD, found family, slow burn, moral ambiguity, Tony Stark is Duo’s father

For Duo Maxwell, family are the people he has loved and lost and whose names he bears. For Tony Stark, family has always been blood and a name and Howard’s shadow looming over him.

@bobo-is-tha-bomb

Deadly Intent (Ch. 8) https://archiveofourown.org/works/25576657/chapters/66603631

F/M, Heero/Reader, ???/Reader

Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell, Wufei Chang, Lady Une, Relena Peacecraft, Reader, Trowa Barton

Mature, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Reader Insert, Drama, Angst, Romance, Violence, Lime

Eleven years is a long time for a ghost to come back and haunt him. But Heero Yuy finds himself unable to dodge or outrun it. It’s the start of a dangerous cat and mouse game between one of the most powerful organizations in the world and a loner who has every intention of dragging him down with her. After all, she has come with deadly intent.

Comfort https://archiveofourown.org/works/27222649

F/M, Heero Yuy/Reader

Teen And Up Audiences, Romance, Fluff, Angst, Reader-Insert

“I want to thank you for last night,” you said softly, while looking up at him. “It was nice of you to take care of me like that.”

A frown formed on his face. “You sound as if none ever did that for you before.”

@duointherain

Six Feet Apart https://duointherain.tumblr.com/post/633016132898521088/fic-six-feet-apart

Disclaimer: I don’t own Gundam Wing. I also don’t own the song in the Tumblr post I’m about to link. I barely own my own mind as I’m studying to much these days.  Neither do I own: Song  Grow As We Go, by Ben Platt.

Link: https://rosespirit.tumblr.com/post/633002398703616000/priscellie-candiikismet-coffeefoxgirl

Note: Gundam Wing is Sci-fi. It’s a m/m story.

It had all stopped so suddenly. It hadn’t been like anything had been declared, nothing permanent. After the war they’d just sort of fallen in together. First it was the hotel room. Then it was a pizza. Duo’s laughter had saved him. Even months after he last heard it, Duo’s laugh was what he kept breathing for. It wasn’t like there was a lot of other purpose. Weapons are supposed to be decommissioned, after all. Except the memory of Duo’s laugh, Duo’s kisses, Duo sleeping next to him, these things meant he was human. Pain meant he was alive. He still had the ring, though his finger was too small to keep it on anymore.

Gundam Legends 14

Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Go Back In The Water https://archiveofourown.org/collections/GundamLegends14

A collection of fics by various authors for the Gundam Legends event. Previous years can be found here: https://tzigane.neocities.org

@lifeaftermeteor

To Love and Love Again https://archiveofourown.org/works/27309412/chapters/66724459

F/M, M/M, Chang Wufei/Relena Peacecraft, Duo Maxwell/Heero Yuy

Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell, Trowa Barton, Quatre Raberba Winner, Chang Wufei, Relena Peacecraft, Hilde Schbeiker, Sally Po, Lucrezia Noin, Lady Une, Mareen Darlian

Teen And Up Audiences, background Sally Po/Lady Une, Post-Series, Post-Canon, Post-Endless Waltz, Preventers, BROTPs abound, Fluff, Romance, Slice of Life, Wedding Fluff

Following their Christmas engagement, Wufei and Relena bring their family together for their nuptials. The celebration gives their guest an opportunity to reflect on their own romantic inclinations.

@vegalume

Chase https://vegalume.tumblr.com/post/633532147170476032/title-chase-a-drabble-author-vega-lume-written

Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell

The knock at the door startled him more than he would like to admit. In a way he had been expecting it. It was a sort of nervous, anxiousness that had been strumming through his body since he had woken hours before. Now that it was just past sun down he knew what was waiting for him on the other side and he was both apprehensive and excited.

Fanart/Crafts/Photo Manips:

@2pcb

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27312763/chapters/66732790

EXHALE, Heero/Trowa, comic

@cuteciboulette

https://cuteciboulette.tumblr.com/post/633411537102667776/10-left-to-go-hopefully-ill-be-done-by-the-end

GW Merch

@enelle89

https://enelle89.tumblr.com/post/633025341866246144/happy-halloween-its-almost-here

Heero Yuy/Relena Darlian-Peacecraft, fanart

@gundayum

https://gundayum.tumblr.com/post/631834507084021760/i-have-a-little-data-again-so-plz-enjoy-dad-bod

Duo Maxwell, fanart

https://gundayum.tumblr.com/post/632787659677384704/borrowing-my-aunts-wifi-to-share-my-trashy-2xh

Duo Maxwell/Hilde Schbeiker & kiddos, fanart

Head Canons:

@bobo-is-tha-bomb

https://bobo-is-tha-bomb.tumblr.com/post/632983263759220736/gw-oc-october-day-24

GW OC-October 2020 Day 24 Prompt Response

@lochtayboatsong

https://gwoc-october.tumblr.com/post/633017041186668544/my-gw-ocs-part-13-josef-peacecraft

GW OC-October 2020 Day 1 Prompt Response

https://gwoc-october.tumblr.com/post/633174117984698369/my-gw-ocs-part-14-stefan-peacecraft

GW OC-October 2020 Day 2 Prompt Response

https://gwoc-october.tumblr.com/post/633386069070626816/my-gw-ocs-part-15-isabel-barton

GW OC-October 2020 Day 3 Prompt Response

https://gwoc-october.tumblr.com/post/633560666909851648/my-gw-ocs-part-16-sam-maxwell

GW OC-October 2020 Day 1 Prompt Response

Fandom Discourse:

@cuteciboulette

https://cuteciboulette.tumblr.com/post/632800216214536192/lets-go-back-to-this-sharing-my-gw-archives

Over the next few days, a story scanned from the doujinshi “Guerrilla show” by Sango Show.

Quotes:

@incorrectgundamwingquotes

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/633530414557020160/at-preventers-hq-dorothy-to-duo-well

Dorothy, Duo, and Quatre

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/183465625949/lemontrash-lemontrash-lemontrash

Duo & WuFei

Add-ons by @lemontrash

Calendar Events:

@gwcocktailfriday

Cocktail Fridays!

Post responses on Friday, during Happy Hour between 3 & 5 pm in your own timezone.

Here’s the prompt for Friday, November 6th! https://gwcocktailfriday.tumblr.com/post/633500173247627264/cocktail-friday-post-responses-on-friday-november

In need of WINTER/SPRING prompts!

@gwoc-october

GW OC October 2020!

GW OC-October 2020 is now over!

Do come by and check out all the amazing entries, and remember that if you’d still like to answer any of these prompts, you are more than welcome to! Just send them our way and we’ll reblog them!

@thisweekingundamevents

Events Calendar https://thisweekingundamevents.tumblr.com/post/624053314842230784/event-calendar-update

If you are hosting an event currently, or are planning on one, hit us up with links and dates! We’ll add them to the Calendar and reblog your notices to get the word out!

GW Holiday Gift Exchange 2020

Rules: https://thisweekingundamevents.tumblr.com/post/627952774875906048/gw-holiday-gift-exchange-2020

Check-in 1 https://thisweekingundamevents.tumblr.com/post/633566440354627584/gw-holiday-gift-exchange-check-in-1-notice

[saturnsgrove-ed]

Saturn's Grove

Entry 1

Monday, June 14th, 2021

TW: eating disorders, ED behaviors, self loathing, mental health struggles, jokes about suicide that aren't actually 100% jokes, dark humor, abuse mention, dysfunctional family.

NOT A PRO BLOG. THIS IS JUST MY FEELINGS. NO THINSPO EVER.

Cw: 164

44lbs from next GW, 54lbs from UGW

!!! -Originally from an ed discord server personal vent channel ("diary" channels), for context on some of the points I've made in the second to last paragraph.

I am currently debating throwing all of my food away. I might. I probably will, actually. Give it to the chickens, let them gorge and grow fat and happy on my self induced suffering-- that sounds about right.

Anyway, what spurred this shit? Great question. Not planning on answering that so early here, but I'll preface, in short, with 🌟Family Trouble🌟 and past history of 🌟Abuse🌟

For future reference, if you see "🌟" Its a lovely tone indicator that I am being sarcastically reverent to that which causes me the most pain. :)

Escapist fantasies are nice, I've been thinking about dropping everything and moving to Missouri. But why the fuck would I move to Missouri? Not sure. Just like the landscape, I think. West Virginia, too. Anything that is 1: not the desert, and 2: at least three states away from my family, would be lovely. Do you ever get that desire to simply.. walk off into the wilderness and just die? Welcome to the vibe of my life! Death and escapism are irrevocably intertwined here, because isn't death just the ultimate escape?

Unfortunately, I am a coward, so the ultimate escape will have to wait until I have a breakdown severe enough to make me grow a pair and try it! Probably not gonna happen. As I stated before, I am, first and foremost, a 🌟coward🌟. Which, I suppose is what also leads to my terrible coping mechanism of lying in the face of danger or conflict -- instead of just coming out with it when things get shitty.

On to other things...

I have started a 3-ish day fast, a liquid fast because I am weak, to punish myself. I would like to be able to go for an entire month, we'll see how that goes. I was friends with someone, once, in an old ED server who managed an entire month before ending up in the hospital. I'd like to think I could manage it, and, due to living out in buttfuck nowhere Arizona, maybe I could just die! Doubtful Apologies if my humor offends, I'm really only partially joking, and... Well, you did come here of your own volition.

Also excuse my lengthy and roundabout ways to explaining things, 'tis the curse of an author who never writes in first person. Third person is far more appealing, but it would be strange to refer to myself as "Kaden", using pronouns that are not a single letter, or do not explicitly start with "m" and end with "e". Strange doesn't encompass it, really. You should try it sometime; write about yourself as though you're looking in from the outside. It's terribly revealing and I don't think I've ever been meaner to myself. You can only say "I hate myself" so many ways in first person perspective after all... second person is lovely, however. "You stupid bitch" "Why would you eat that" "This is why you're a fat, ugly fuck." Lovely, but third person? Oh man. So strange, but so satisfying. Reading it back later on is like reading a personal attack from a close friend, and it is terrible fuel for my self destructive tendencies -- alas, it is still just a bit too strange to do consistently.

This is what I was talking about when I referred to tangents, ironically enough. The idea of personal diary channels is actually a really interesting one; personal vent threads, the private and intimate illusion of a personal diary, yet the public scrutiny and possible ridicule of an open discord channel. My heart is palpatating at the very thought, though I suppose that could just be my vitamin deficiencies.

Anyway, that's all for now, but I'll be back soon enough, I'm sure. Don't be surprised if my writing style flips around a bit depending on my mood-- this is my lowest which, interestingly enough, lends itself to a rather in depth but still sarcastic and self depreciating voice in my words and explanations of things. Being buried by your own thoughts and feelings had that effect, I suppose.

Bye for now

[the--sad--hatter]

Name Calling (27)

FANDOM - MARVEL MCU

PAIRING - BUCKY X READER (female reader, no physical descriptions)

WARNINGS - ALL OF THEM, SMUT, VIOLENCE ANGST

DESCRIPTION -  In which the ongoing and bloody war of words between you and Bucky turns in your favor when a disgruntled one night stand of his lets slip a secret when you run into her in the elevator… Now you have all the ammunition you need to destroy your enemy but you don’t plan on killing him quickly. Oh no, Bucky Barnes was going to suffer and you were going to enjoy every second. You just didn’t count on how much you would enjoy it.

Current Word Count -  77,208

Chapter TwentySeven - Daddypool and Princess Peach 

Once upon a time in the land of Marvel there lived a dashingly handsome, witty beyond compare, braver than a pride of lions hero, who was hung like a horse on steroids and his name was fvrggvf3bn3gfvrfve2gr nfr2vgfr 3gfr2 hgt et1gt565g6 ve42f2te gfrbgr gr g gw

Sorry, the author tried to fight me for control of the keyboard. As I was saying, there was a hero with a cock like a python that had swallowed a slightly larger python and he knew how to use it. His name was Deadpool. One day Deadpool decided out of the kindness of his heroic heart to rescue a fair maiden who was being held captive by an evil secretary called Ross. He called forth his noble steed, Dopinder…. Hey, I wonder what the author is going to do with that chainsaw? Fvecfv2FEERr 5,f432 AE\

**We apologize for the interruption, now back to our regularly scheduled programming**

It took you all of ten seconds to realize that Deadpool was insane and a further ten seconds to realize that you liked that. He wasn’t trying to stop you leaving and he didn’t seem to want to hurt you or change your memories so you decided to stick around.

You finished eating your third Chimichanga when you noticed Deadpool had snuck behind you.

“Can I have your autograph?” He asked, leaning over the back of the couch to peer at you.

“Can I have another Chimichanga?” You bartered.

He threw one at you and pushed a pen and a wrinkled playboy towards you with a hopeful expression on his mask. You grimaced but signed your name on the cover of it with one hand while you tore the foil of your food with your teeth.

“So, why exactly did you rescue me?” You asked.

“Well I was flipping through the channels, looking for a Golden Girls rerun to get me in happy time mood, had my lube and my unicorn ready to go when I saw you on the news. Loved your work with the cliff and the nazis and all the killing. I thought to myself, Deadpool why can’t you find a nice girl like that? So I came and got you.”

“So you use the News channels as your own personal Tindr?” You asked.

“Well what else is a… what are you doing?”

You had put your hand in the air and were making a sweeping motion.

“Swiping left.” You said.

He gasped and put his hands on his chest, falling to the ground with a dramatic thumb and lying there, completely still. You ignored him and happily munched away on your pilfered food.

“Though at least you’ve never lied to my face about my own actions and messed with my memories. You know, you’d think he of all people would have told me the truth.” You ranted.

“Wait, I have the perfect outfit for this situation!” Deadpool yelled.

He ran into the other room and came back with a pair of glasses perched on his face and a box of kleenex. He forcibly shoved you down on the couch so you were lying down and pulled up a chair to sit next to you.

“Now, tell Dr. Daddypool your problems.”

You shrugged and gave him the rundown. Why the hell not, it wasn’t like you had anywhere else to be.

He oohed and ahhed in all the right places and turned out to be a surprisingly good listener.

“I KNOW A GUY WHO CAN PLAY WITH YOUR BRAIN!” He squealed excitedly.

“Well actually I know several but I only know one who can do it without physically pulling your brain from your skull.” He amended.

“I’m not following.” You admitted.

“Memories, yours. Let’s go get em.” He summed up succinctly.

“Oh, ohhhhh.” You said eloquently, catching on and jumping up to follow him out of the door.

“Wait, I’m forgetting something.” He said, stopping in the doorway.

“That everyone on the planet probably knows what I look like and I’m wanted by the UN?” You suggested.

“Bingo” He snapped his fingers.

“Have you got like a baseball cap and some sunglasses?” You asked.

“Seriously? Because nobody’s going to see straight through that disguise.”

“Steve said it always works.” You grumbled.

“Wanna wear one of my masks?” He asked you.

“No, no I do not.”

“Fine, I guess that leaves me with no choice then. Time for…. A makeover montage!”

He excitedly bounced over and hit play on a boom box in the corner of the room and Pretty Woman by Roy Orbison started blaring.

“I could just wear a hoodie and keep the hood up.” You pointed out.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

One very weird (why did he have so many latex costumes?) and pointless makeover later Deadpool threw a hoodie at you with a tormented sigh. You flipped the hood up and followed him downstairs to the waiting yellow cab.

“Wait, we’re still in New York?” You asked, only now realizing.

“Yes maam.” The driver told you as Deadpool climbed in the passenger window and settled down in the seat.

You climbed into the back seat with a glance around to make sure you hadn’t been spotted.

“Peaches, this is Dopinder. Dopinder, this is Princess Peach. She’s a violent, bloodthirsty killer.” Deadpool said gleefully.

“I saw you on the news Miss Deathwave.” Dopinder said.

“You and everybody else buddy. Where are we going?”

“X-Mansion.” Dopinder explained.

“Great, because nobody there will tell my dad where I am.” You grumbled, staring forlornly out of the window as the city streets whizzed by.

You tuned out Deadpool’s chatter with Dopinder about dating and OTP’s until Deadpool made a pained noise.

“Pull over!!” Deadpool shrieked.

“What’s going on?” You asked as Dopinder pulled into a nearby gas station.

“It’s the revenge of the Chimichanga’s!” Deadpool grunted, squirming.

As soon as the car rolled to a stop, Deadpool fell out of the car and ran for the bathrooms. You shook your head in wry amusement at him and got out of the car with a stretch.

“I’m going to go grab a drink, you want anything?” You asked Dopinder, leaning down to look at him through the drives side window.

“Oh, a Coca Cola please Miss Deathwave.” He said politely.

“No problem.” You said, hitting the top of the car as you pushed off of it and sauntered into the gas station.`

You almost turned and walked straight back out. There was something most definitely wrong, the attendant was sweating profusely as they gave you a tight-lipped smile. You nodded back and perused the aisles, grabbing the drinks. There were three distinct heartbeats coming from behind the counter.

Two people hiding, one attendant in sight. Now you very much doubted anybody who was after you would be stupid enough to send only two people to do the job so it was most likely you had just walked into a robbery. You were an escaped convict, you couldn’t afford to draw attention to yourself but there was no way you could just walk away.

You plunked the bottles down on the counter and grinned.

“Got a bag?” You asked.

The attendant nodded and put the bottles in the plastic carrier bag for you.

“Oh, can I also get one of these?” You asked, grabbing him by the shirt and yanking him over the counter and throwing him behind you. out of the way.

The two robbers swore and stood up. They were balaclava-clad and armed, and totally unprepared to see you stood smiling casually at them.

You grabbed the closest one by the gun arm, bending his arm so it was pointing at the ceiling. He pulled the trigger and a small dusting of ceiling plaster sprinkled down over you. You slammed his head into the counter and leaped over his prone form, using the counter to maneuver your body and kick his accomplice in the chest. A super soldier to the ribs was enough to send him reeling back, wheezing, dropping his gun in the process. He tripped over the black duffel bag at his feet and went sprawling onto the ground. You kicked both guns out of reach and kicked open the duffel bag the would-be robbers had with them.

“Looks like this wasn’t the first place these guys hit today. Here, don’t call the cops.” You said, throwing the bag of cash at the gas attendant.

You picked up the groaning robber by the neck and raised him off the ground, pulling his mask off.

“Do you know who I am?” You asked him.

He looked petrified as he nodded quickly.

“Good, so I don’t have to warn you to never try anything like this again. Because you know what will happen if you do, don’t you?”

“You’ll hunt me down and make me wish I was never born?” He guessed.

“And they say criminals are getting dumber.” You said, dropping him.

He and his partner got up and scrambled away as fast as they could, running into Deadpool at the door. The robbers and the merc all paused in a weird standoff and you coughed lightly behind them, sending the robbers fleeing.

“What did I miss?” Deadpool asked.

You looked at the gas station attendant who was looking into the bag of cash with wide eyes.

“Nothing.” You said innocently.

You grabbed your purchases and pulled Deadpool back to the taxi. You climbed in and tossed Dopinder his coke. You waited until you were at least a mile away before you breathed a sigh of relief.

“What are the fucking chances that the gas station I was in was being robbed?” You ranted.

“That was no coincidence, it’s the author’s divine intervention.” Dopinder tried to explain.

“Since when can you break the fourth wall?!” Deadpool demanded with a dramatic gasp.

“The author likes me Mr Pool, she has taken artistic liberties.”

“Oh hell no, breaking the fourth wall is MY thing!”

“She wants you to know you can go suck a dick Mr Pool, those were her words, not mine.”

“YO KARA, THAT’S RIGHT I’M NAMING AND SHAMING YOU, GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE AND SAY THAT TO MY FACE!”

Out of nowhere, Dopinder slammed on the brakes, sending Deadpool careening headfirst into the wind-shield.

You leaned your head through the plastic divider to peer at them.

“What in the actual fuck is going on?” You asked bewilderedly as Deadpool let out a string of impressive and inventive curses.

“IS THAT ALL YOU’VE GOT YOU PSYCHOTIC...”

“Mr Pool no, do not provoke the author!! Dopinder begged.

An ominous chill wind began blowing and the three of you paused nervously as it picked up. A Newspaper landed on the Windshield, it’s terrifying headline splattered on the glass for you to read.

WORLD RUNS OUT OF MEXICAN FOOD

Deadpool screamed in horror and you began laughing uncontrollably at the strange turn of events.

“Alright you evil mastermind, you win this round.” Deadpool grumbled.

“Can we go now?” You asked them, long past trying to understand what was happening and just rolling with it.

“Yes Miss Deathwave.” Dopinder agreed, putting the car in gear as the wind died down and the sun started shining again.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“HI WADE” A colourful bubbly girl shouted out of the window as soon as you pulled up.

“Hi Yukio!” He called back enthusiastically.

He turned to say something to you but you were leaning against the taxi with an amused grin on your face.

“Wade? You name is Wade?”

“Wade Wilson, Merc with a mouth.” He elaborated.

“Well, now that your oh so secret identity had been blown you can lose the big red body condom.” You offered.

If you didn’t know better you’d say he was suddenly uncomfortable.

“No can do peaches, you’ve already had an emotionally trying… life. Wouldn’t want to make it worse.” He said.

“It can’t be any worse than anything I’ve already seen.” You laughed, thinking he was joking.

“Oh no, he is truly hideous.” Dopinder called from inside the car.

“Yes, thank you Dopinder. You can leave now.” Wade said.

Dopinder waved cheerily at you and drove away. Wade turned to walk to the door but you grabbed his arm and stopped him.

“Are you not taking it off because you don’t want to or because you think I’m going to be an asshole about what's under the mask?” You asked him.

“Survey says both!”

“Fine, keep it on. If you change your mind though… I am in fact not a complete douche so I probably won’t point out how ugly you are.”

“Fine. Fine. But don’t say I didn’t warn you!” He snapped, undoing the mask.

He paused when it was undone before ripping it off. You tilted your head to the side as you studied him.

“You look like a slighter better looking version of that guy who was in The Proposal with Sandra Bullock.” You informed him.

He blinked in shock at you, mouth gaping.

“Marry me?” He whispered reverently.

“Never gonna happen Daddypool.” You said with a wink and turned to go meet the bubbly ‘Yukio’ and her friend at the door.

“Hey, Deathwave right?” The short haired teen said.

“Yeah, that’s me.” You sighed and pushed your hood down.

“I’m Yukio” The bright one said.

“I’m Negasonic Teenage Warhead.” The other one introduced herself.

“And I thought I had a rough childhood, yours must have been a bitch with a name like that.” You remarked.

“I like her.” Negasonic told Wade before promptly walking away.

“Hey, we’re here to see the Professor. McAvoy or Stewart, either’s fine!” Wade called after her.

“He’s not here!” She yelled back.

“God fucking damn it! It’s a fanfiction, there’s no reason I can’t be around the X-Men!” Wade exclaimed, throwing his hands up in frustration and following the two girls inside.

“Hey, congrats on joining The Avengers! That is super cool!” Yukio said to you.

“Uh, yeah I’m not an Avenger. I was like a backup Avenger at best, now I’m just a criminal.” You told her.

Yukio and Negasonic exchanged a look.

“You haven’t watched the new have you?” Nega asked you.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Your favorite part was where Secretary Ross addressed the press and told them you were a “Heroic young woman who put her own safety on the line to help take down a criminal who threatened the integrity of The Accords.” Before it cut to Benjamin Newlands being arrested.

Your least favorite part was the rest of it. Your entire history had been handed over to the world, there wasn’t a person who didn’t know where you had come from. It was the price you’d had to pay to be pardoned. It was terrifying, being so exposed. But it was also kind of liberating.

The press were really sticking with the whole “Deathwave” moniker and you were being hailed as The Newest Avenger.

“So how afraid of me are people now?” You asked the room.

“Honestly? People are kind of numb to super-powered people. So you have apocalyptic powers, so what? I think they feel sorrier for you than anything.” Nega said with a shrug.

“Wonderful.” You sighed.

You knew your friends probably had good intentions when they outed you but the fact remained that they had been lying to you for weeks. They had somehow covered up a severe bullet wound to your chest and messed with your memories. Their list of sins was piling up and you were finding it harder and harder to remain in a forgiving mood.

“Have you got a phone I could borrow?” You asked Nega and Yukio.

Nega gestured to the hallway and you followed a bouncing Yukio to a landline, Wade hot on your heels.

“Who are we calling?” He stage whispered at you.

“My dad.”

“Oooooooooohhhhhhhhh”

You dialed Tony’s number from memory and it rang once before Friday picked up.

“You have reached the voicemail for...”

“It’s me Friday,” You interrupted.

There was silence and then a click before Tony’s voice came through the line.

“Kit Kat?? Where the hell are you, are you ok?” He demanded.

“I’m fine. No bullet wounds I need you to hide from me if that’s what you mean.” You snapped.

He sighed.

“Yeah, it’s her. She’s ok.” He said to someone on the other side of the phone.

“Listen kid, it’s a long story. I can explain everything though, I swear. Just tell me where you are.”

“I’m not sure I want you anywhere near me right now Tony. Any of you.” You admitted.

“Sweetheart we had to do it, there’s a lot you don’t understand. We were ordered not to tell you anything.”

“Ordered? I massacred people Tony, I was shot!! Who the hell gave you the right to keep that from me?” You screamed.

“YOU DID!” He yelled back.

You rocked back on your heels and furrowed your brow.

“We were acting on your orders.” Tony sighed.

Deadpool gasped loudly.

“And the plot thickens!”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

So after this chapter, I think it's clear the reader has too much chemistry with Deadpool to be ignored! This is now a Deadpool/Reader pairing. Or a Deadpool/Reader/Bucky pairing r urj 4 32rj1wo e3 3e JKBN;PN

NO! This is still a Bucky/Reader story. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go clean blood out of my laptop.

@nerdandproud-86 @harrison-shot-first@chook007@thejourneyneverendsx@thelostallycat@inquisitor-selvala@the-corruptor @iovher@kendrawr-kitkat@phoenix-whiskey-tears @the–real-wombat@buckitybarnes@fairislesheets@angieptt@meganjonezzzz

@dugan365 @fluffeh-kitty@memanda17@krystallynx@theonelittleone

@piscesbarnes @free-as-fishes@tarastudiesalot@captainamericasbeard

[thisweekingundamwing]

TWIGW RoundUp (July 21 - 27)

Greetings Everyone! Here’s your roundup of contributions for this week. Check out their stuff and show them some love!😊💖 🌃🌉

~Mod TB

Fanfiction:

aminamenta, Mission Accepted (Part 19)

Rating: General Audiences

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: Multi

Fandom: Gundam Wing

Character: Heero Yuy

Additional Tags: Drabble Collection, Drabble

Summary: A Gundam Wing drabble collection based on r/fanfiction's July 2019 Daily Prompts. Missing moments and character explorations from a series I have loved for years. 100 words each. Mission Accepted. 1. Heero Yuy

ateventide, Echoes

Rating: General Audiences

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: F/F, F/M, Gen

Fandom: Gundam Wing

Characters: Relena Peacecraft, Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell, Zechs Merquise

Summary: One Shots, Drabbles and mostly unfinished works

@bailong05, All the King's Horses (Ch. 6)

Rating: Mature

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: F/M

Fandom: Xiaolin Showdown/Gundam Wing

Relationships: Jack Spicer/Chase Young, Chang Wufei/Original Female Character(s)

Characters: Jack Spicer, Chase Young (Xiaolin Showdown), Chang Wufei

Additional Tags: fem!Jack, mentions of physical abuse, Mentions of Emotional Abuse, Mentions of Sexual Harassment, Panic Attacks, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Mentions of War, Trauma, Psychological Trauma, Childhood Trauma, Healing, Crossover

Summary: In which Chase Royally Fucks Up.

@bobo-is-tha-bomb, Unchain Utopia [COMPLETE - 14 chapters]

Fandom: Gundam Wing

Rating: Mature

No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Zechs Merquise/Reader

Characters: Zechs Merquise, Relena Peacecraft

Additional Tags: Romance, Fluff, Summer of Zechs, Summer of Zechs 2019, Sexual Content, Lime, Drama, Family

Summary: When unexpected political roles are pushed upon you and your husband, you find your life turned upside down. The challenge is far greater than anything you have encountered before, but also leads to new insights. And who knows, you might even find the ultimate happiness there. ZechsxReader

Written for Summer of Zechs 2019 - @seasons-of-gundamwing

The Bodyguard

Rating: Mature

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: F/M

Fandom: Gundam Wing

Relationship: Heero Yuy/Reader

Characters: Heero Yuy, Reader, Relena Peacecraft

Additional Tags: Romance, Drama, Violence, Mild Sexual Content

Summary: When death threats start to get serious, Preventer sends an Agent to protect you. But this man might be more dangerous to you than any death threat. HeeroxReader.

In the End

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: F/M

Fandom: Gundam Wing

Relationship: Chang Wufei/Reader

Characters: Chang Wufei, Duo Maxwell, Reader, OC - Character

Additional Tags: Romance, Drama, Violence, Reader Insert

Summary: Five years after the war you still struggle with its horrors. Determined not to let it get to you, you decide to take a course in self defense. If only you knew that your instructor would drive you crazy and that he would get you angry with one look. Oh, and did I mention he is also sexy as sin? WufeixReader

What’s going on Fanfiction wise (4)

Doii, Precogmare (Ch. 6)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Fandom: Gundam Wing

Characters: Duo Maxwell, Heero Yuy

Additional Tags: Quatre Raberba Winner/Trowa Barton - Freeform, Chang Wufei/Sally Po - Freeform, Get Together, Duo Maxwell/Heero Yuy - Freeform, Mission Gone Wrong

Summary: A mission gone wrong shows Duo the future that awaits them. Could he stop it on time? Can he protect Relena and the other pilots while keeping his secrets hidden? Wrote it ages ago, never published it. A lot of cursing and references to violence, death, blood and suicide. It's a Heero and Duo get together, background 03x04 and 05xS

@duointherain, Beneath (Ch. 12)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Categories: F/M, M/M

Fandom: Gundam Wing

Relationships: Duo Maxwell/Heero Yuy, Trowa Barton/Quatre Raberba Winner

Summary: Duo discovers real catsup!

Experimental, Chase your dreams away

Rating: Mature

Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death

Category: M/M

Fandom: Gundam Wing

Relationship: Trowa Barton/Quatre Raberba Winner

Characters: Quatre Raberba Winner, Trowa Barton, Heero Yuy, Chang Wufei, Quinze (Gundam Wing)

Additional Tags: Canon Timeline, Dark, Not Really Character Death, Everyone Is Alive, Zero System, Mindfuckery, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Sharing a Bed, Romantic Friendship, I Will Go Down With This Ship

Summary: He watches them fall one by one when he closes his eyes. It doesn't matter if it's not real. It's his fault. That's real enough. "Bad dream?" Trowa asks him. The worst.

@janaverse, stickies from heero

Fandom: Gundam Wing

Pairing: 1+2+1, 1x2x1 (Heero x Duo)

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Characters: Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell

Additional Tags: Get Together, Friendship, Eventual Sap, Eventual Implied Sexual Content, Mentions of Trowa/Quatre/Wufei/Relena/Sally - for now

Creator Chose Not to Archive Warnings

Summary: heero and duo are in their mid-20's and are sharing a house. they are both working as preventers, but are not on the same work schedule. duo initiated this unique form of communication and heero has fully embraced it. [ these are images of the actual notes that heero leaves for duo on their refrigerator. ]

@helmistress, The Italian Job [Ch. 2 & 3 is up - now COMPLETE]

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: F/M

Fandom: Gundam Wing

Relationship: Zechs Merquise/Lucrezia Noin

Characters: Zechs Merquise, Lucrezia Noin

Additional Tags: Summer of Zechs, Photo prompt, Prompt Fic, Zechs and Noin catchin' Cartel heads and Serial Killers in one fell swoop. And then having a nice dinner.

Summary: Zechs and Noin have a have a job to do in Siena but with all the beautiful scenery and unique places to eat, will they be able to focus?

kracken, Black Dog Blues (Ch. 9)

Not Rated

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Fandom: Gundam Wing

Relationship: Duo Maxwell/Heero Yuy

Characters: Duo Maxwell, Heero Yuy, Original Heero Yuy, Zechs Merquise, Quatre Raberba Winner, Chang Wufei, Trowa Barton

Additional Tags: gundam wing - Freeform, Yaoi

Summary: Duo is a troubled detective who solves cases with the help of visions of the supernatural. Unfortunately, those visions are driving him slowly insane. Can his new partner Heero Yuy save his soul and his sanity? AU

Lost in the Blue (Ch. 1)

Not Rated

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Category: M/M

Fandom: Gundam Wing

Relationships: Duo Maxwell/Heero Yuy, Trowa Barton/Quatre Raberba Winner

Characters: Wing (Gundam Wing), Gundam Wing - Character

Additional Tags: Preventers (Gundam Wing), Duo Maxwell - Freeform, Heero Yuy - Freeform

Summary: After the war everyone is a member of Preventers. Duo proves to be a pain in the ass to work with and Heero Yuy avoids him at all cost... until the day he can't any longer.

luvsanime02, Petty Bullets

Rating: General Audiences

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: Gen

Characters: Duo Maxwell, Heero Yuy

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Wild Wild West, Humor, Friendship, Cocktail Friday

Language: English 

Series: Part 78 of the Cocktail Friday Fics series Collections: GW Cockatil Fridays

Summary: Duo’s really not sure how to take his drink coming with an actual bullet encased in the glass.

@ransomedbard, A Good Day

Rating: Teen

Characters: Duo Maxwell

Dialogue cut from a WIP.

Implied violence, mentions of character death

Sheslikethis, The Unforgiven Soldiers

Rating: Mature

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: F/M, M/M

Fandom: Gundam Wing

Relationships: 6x5, 1x2 - Relationship, 3x4, 6xN, 1xR, 2xH, 5+S

Characters: Chang Wufei, Duo Maxwell, Heero Yuy, Trowa Barton, Quatre Raberba Winner, Zechs Merquise, Sally Po, Relena Peacecraft, Hilde Schbeiker, Dorothy Catalonia, Lady Une

Additional Tags: Gay, Gay Character, Male Friendship, Love, Angst, Drama, War Crimes, Crime Fighting, Eventual Relationships, Gay Sex

Summary: How many times can you ask the earth forgiveness and be denied? How long will your love ones restrain you from being loved? How far must you go to find your true calling? A story about 6 six men were war has stolen their coming of age and they have to fight their own personal battles to find manhood. While insurgence groups, terrorist and misguided people all try to find peace.

@wingslanding, Broken (Ch. 12)

Fandom: Gundam Wing 

Rating: Mature 

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings 

Relationships: Relena Peacecraft/Heero Yuy 

Characters: Relena Peacecraft, Heero Yuy

Summary: One of the greatest love stories never told... this way.

Fanart/Manipulations/Graphics:  

@artthingymabob, Relena Peacecraft

@deathscythehell, 2x4x2 and an airplane

@dinmitbang, Desire to monopolize

@duointherain, Duo Maxwell

@hashiome, Chang Wufei

@janaverse, Heero, Trowa and Duo

@meporinbb, Summer Wild Beat

@openbookexam, Gundam Wing 01

Cosplay:

@elpheal, Gundam Wing:: Five 

@manabingu, Zechs's helmet > Zechs Merquise

Photosets/Screenshots/GIFs:

@animarchive, Mobile Suit Gundam Wing: Endless Waltz (Newtype, 02/1997) > After War Gundam X and Gundam Wing: Endless Waltz (Newtype, 12/1996)

@animethingsandstuff, 3x4x3 (Episode 4) > Includes a discussion/debate w/ @seitou, @cynfinnegan, @gundayo and @terrablaze514.

@bobo-is-tha-bomb, Rough character sketches

@disturbed02girl, Relena Darlian (in “It’s Just Love” closing theme) > 1+R / 2+H > Wing Zero versus Epyon > WMS-03 Maganac > Nataku/Shenlong (GoL) > Treize Khushrenada (GoL) > Trowa Barton (GoL) > Heero Yuy in Epyon (GoL)

@janaverse, Duo Maxwell > Heero Yuy

@wingslanding, My Favorite Fight Scene (Endless Waltz)

Videos/AMVs: 

@myspicyuniverse, →Crash←

Studio aLf, "White Reflection" - Gundam Wing Endless Waltz (cover)

@theopmeats, 12 Favorite Moments in MSA: Gundam Wing > (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12)

@timelordnomad (featuring @offspringchick29 & @seitou) - Gundam Wing Game Night (1) (2) via Twitch.tv

Moodboards/Aesthetics:

@disturbed02girl, Gundam 40th “BEYOND” (Comic Con 2019)

@horrendousedits, Gundam Wing EW character moodboards

@jellyfishflan, Wild Wing Boys (stickers)

@p3ac3fulfor3st, All the King’s Horses (Ch. 6): Of Pride and Pain (for @bailong05)

Headcanons:

@incorrectgundamwingquotes, @softnocturne, @rinachiba - Cooking Headcanon!

@peachandbetty, Headcanon - Language (1xR)

@robo-rad, Send in your requests! > Different versions of Trowa

@theresareasonforthis, The Incredibles 2 << Mod’s note: This supports my idea of Trowa working on movies.

Memes:

@disturbed02girl, True warriors debate

@incorrectgundamwingquotes, Disaster idiots alignments > Lady Une versus Preventers > Time travel… (featuring @greenekangaroo & @chofitia)

@janaverse, Definition of glomping

Gunpla:

@bobo-is-tha-bomb, Wing 01 > "I will be true..."

@christianmswanson, Tallgeese (progress) > Tallgeese II > Tallgeese (update)

Gonzalo G. B., Gundam "The Fallen" (for a contest)

@waifus-of-hope, Kit arrives > Mission accomplished (Wing Zero) > Asking the Real Questions (video)

Meta/Promos/Fandom Discourse: 

@amyole, Gundam Wing App

@flaminfogelman, YouTube channel update

@invader-vel, The Initials: D. M.

@oneshortdamnfuse, No one versus… Me

Quotes:

@incorrectgundamwingquotes, Trowa shouldn’t put Marie in bed anymore

Submission by @travellemon

Hilde and Relena

Duo versus ZERO system

Relena proposes, but…

Trowa Barton

Trowa, Heero and Wufei

Wufei and Duo

Heero versus Zechs

What's your sexuality?

Dr. J and Heero

Quatre versus ZERO system

At Preventers HQ

Relena and the “cool’ blonde dude from class (Heero taught him manners in fencing class)

Submission by @bobo-is-tha-bomb

Field Medic

2x5x2

Heero and Trowa

Trowa, Heero, Duo and Quatre

Quatre and Heero (the others are avoiding the kitchen)

Trowa and Quatre

1x2x1 (2)

Undercover at a new school

Submission by @timelordnomad

Submission by @janaverse (2)

Quatre and Noin

Duo and Quatre

Trowa, to Catherine

Stranger Things parody

3x4x3 (2)

Aboard Peacemillion

Calendar Events:

@gundam-wing-bingo, Gundam Wingo is a go!

Come sign up for a card here: https://gundam-wing-bingo.tumblr.com/post/186080202031/gundam-wing-bingo

Rules for this event here.

@gundamzine, Interest Check

Hello, everyone! As 2020 marks the 25th anniversary of Mobile Suit Gundam Wing. I thought I would post an interest check for a fanzine in celebration of that milestone. 

You can fill out the survey here, which will close on August 1.

( @fandomzines @zine-scene @zinefeed @zinewatch @zinesubmissions)

@gwcocktailfriday, Cocktail Friday

Post responses on Friday, August 2, between 3 & 5 pm in your own timezone.

Don’t forget to @ us!

@thisweekingundamevents, Gundam Wing Unorthodox Undercover Work Mini Bang

Calling all writers, artists, betas/editors and pinch hitters! Sign-ups are officially open for July! More detailed info here.

Sign up for the Mini Bang: https://forms.gle/XMAxNWiYj1EEaRtW8

GW Mini Bang = August 1 to November 30.

Deadline/Posting week =  December 1 - 7 (on AO3).

Get in contact with @helmistress if you have any questions. Everyone who signs up will be contacted.

Heads up Mini Bangers! (Update)

[thinspo-habits]

Hi (this is really long)

I have anorexia. I have had anorexia for 1 year, but through everything that has happened in the past 6 years, the obsessive thoughts have always lingered. I’m not here to promote recovery, or to even promote any kind of eating disorders. I’m looking for people who can relate to what is going on inside my head. So let’s paint a picture of what I look like:

SW: 175 

GW: 125

CW: 130

UGW: 120

(all in lbs.) 

Okay, now more about myself. 

I grew up in a small, poor town in Pennsylvania. There, I competed in a lot of sports, specifically cheerleading. This is when the thoughts started, but I didn’t understand what they meant. I had all of the skills to be a flyer on my team, but there was one thing holding me back: my weight. Around this time, I carelessly ate, but never gained extreme weight because I was so active. However, this began to ring a different tone for adults as my size got bigger and bigger with each month passing and I didn’t think twice about it. Despite adults frantically trying to hide food from me or telling me how much and what to not eat etc., I didn’t understand the fixation on my eating habits. When I was 10 years old, I moved across the country to Nevada. My town in Nevada was a major culture shock, and I began to feel extremely insecure with the way I would look, act, and dress. What also contributed to these feelings was when I was bullied. One of the girls that lived in my town was one of my best friends prior to moving there. She was one of the girls I trusted, one of the people I relentlessly counted on to make me happy in a place I didn’t understand quite yet. When family troubles began to rise in her house, she started inflicting her personal pain on me. Once again, being completely naive, I turned to blaming myself instead of detecting the actual underlying issue. This began my obsession with weight. I would constantly compare myself to other people and always have wanted to look like the other pretty girls in my grade, unfortunately, this was sought as unrealistic by my family and friends because of my size. I began to surround myself with good people and forgot about those nasty thoughts and lived a typical middle school experience. Once I got to eighth grade, this is when my depression began. What triggered my depression was my sudden loss of friends, my parent’s divorce, and my only sibling moving out to go to college. I felt like I had no one. This brought me back to those same feelings I had when I was bullied; except now I understood my feelings more, but didn’t have the maturity to consciously act on them. Around this time I would spend time eating and looking at self harm forums on reddit and tumblr. I began to spiral out of control. In this 5 month period, I gained 25 pounds. I hated the way I looked, but at this time I was looking at one solution: suicide. I knew I had a life to live, that there were things I was destined to do, but I was too lazy to even care. At my worst, I reached out to the one person I felt I could: my mom. She told me my issues were only caused by my selfish attitude and lazy habits. I saw this as a way to blame myself, so I began to self harm. No one knew. The day after receiving my second semester report card famously showcasing my 2 F’s, I felt like everything was stacking up against me. I felt like the life I was living was the life I was supposed to have, that nothing anyone could do or say would help. So, I attempted suicide. I took my dad’s percocets and my left over pain pills from my surgery, and hoped for the best. I woke up a couple hours later. I decided that this was God or the universe’s plan to set me in the right direction, so I took everything into consideration. I began to put EVERYONE’S needs before mine, and I thought this made me happy. I mean, I was surrounded by good hearted people, so I mean, there’s no harm. When I entered high school, I strutted in with my selfless attitude in a desperate attempt to be happy. Actually happy. The first two years went by with grace. I was still fixated on my weight, but I had good people around who told me that I was beautiful and just needed to be happier and healthier. Thus, my exploration into the world of instagram fitness and models began. I started to lose some of the weight the healthy way, but I wasn’t getting the results I wanted fast enough. Therefore, I gave up completely. My sophomore year, I started to follow a new healthy, strict diet and exercising which helped me lose 15 pounds in 2 months. That wasn’t where I was going to stop. Through out the summer, I would workout and strive to eat healthy, but once again, nothing was happening. My habits of doing fasts all day and only eating dinner, or fasting for 24 hours began to creep up more, but I would either break it, or only do it so I could get drunk faster off of the limited alcohol my friends and I would have. Then junior year came. Within my first month, I gained back every pound I lost. (Thank God, at the time I was used to hiding weight, so I worked around it) I needed good, fast results for Homecoming. I decided to ask the boy I liked at the time and then began the fixation again. I began chugging gallons of water a day, only eating 400-500 calories a day and quickly lost the 15 pounds I gained back. I was at my “skinny” weight (145-140). I was okay with the way I looked, but was so happy I didn’t focus on it. Then my mom started drinking more, and lost her job. Because of this, I felt I needed to take care of my mom. However, everything going on was out of my control, but I couldn’t see that. I wanted control over everything, I needed to fix every detail wrong in my life. I wanted people to see what I was doing and who I was doing it for. I didn’t expect attention when I started to starve myself, I just wanted my family and others to see that everything she did directly effected me. Every single aspect. I saw my mom struggling, but didn’t understand that SHE had the control over the situation, not me. I felt like I was being robbed of my teenage years with the constant back and forth couch surfing between close family friend’s houses, so I moved into my dad’s house. Around the same time, my dad moved in with his girlfriend and my brother came home form college. So, it was just me and my brother living in a house all alone. My brother was on the edge of twenty one and had no interest in actively trying to take care of me, understandably, so I had to take care of myself. I took this as an opportunity to start up my habits and control my weight. I saw my situation and made use of it. I started compulsively counting calories, comparing myself, and was eventually flat out starving myself for days at a time claiming it was a simple “fast”. This is the time I started partying more with my best friend, and had every single road map to coping with whatever I was dealing with, except actually dealing with it. During this time, I experienced a lot of firsts, both good and bad, but it was all about the journey at the time, so I allowed myself to enjoy all the soon to be memories. I was still obsessed with my weight, but this confused me because I thought I was happy. I soon started to fall in love with the idea of being thin, seeing my ribs and collar bones stick out, feeling cold or dizzy when I stood up, and seeing a pound or two difference every day fueled my happiness even more. I was finally thin and happy. My friends noticed my sudden weight change, and others began to notice too. In this time I would openly talk about it and let them know that there wasn’t anything to do. It was nice to have them care, but I didn’t want them to. Opening up to my friends who didn’t know anything about what I was doing seemed pointless, but if it made them sleep better because I just simply expressed that I was okay, then that was something I had to do. Now, here I am. There isn’t a happy recovery to this story, or a sad emergency trip that almost costed my life. I’m still here, still starving. The weirdest part of this whole journey isn’t why or how this all happened, rather why or how this is still happening. I have zero issues in my life: I have a good family life, good friends, a boyfriend, everything I have ever wanted basically, so why can’t I just stop. I still binge here and there, definitely more often than usual, but I still stare at myself, still get the energy boost after hearing about how skinny I am, and I still listen to that voice in my head telling me how many calories are in each thing I put into my body. I’m still going down this path, and hopefully going to get where I want to be, because I’m still not skinny enough for anyone to actually care. I’m still here counting calories, but not raising any questions. I guess I wanted to put this out here, or just keep to myself, a story of an eating disorder that’s not glorified, or that doesn’t show some kind of skinny fantasy created by movie magic. Yes, I can’t speak for everyone who has an eating disorder, but I keep getting skinnier and dizzier, but struggle to see the problem in what I’m doing. I know I need help, I know this isn’t normal, but how bad can it be if I’m not raising questions, or already lying here dead on the floor. I’ll get to my weight that I want to be at, I will. You guys will too.

Stay safe babes xx

[themusingsofjericho-blog]

Façade (Flashback)

Flashback For:

@AFewSpills

@OhShesBossy

TW:

Mental/Physical Abuse

Attempted Rape

GW: 

Smut

Smudger hummed quietly to himself as he bustled around the kitchen, getting ready to cook up a delicious breakfast. He already had a nice, hot pot of coffee brewing behind him, and he was prepping the ingredients in order to make his famous chocolate chip pancakes, before moving on to the usual bacon and eggs. The sounds of David Draiman's voice serenaded him quietly in the background, since a certain guest was still fast asleep up in the guest bedroom...

Over the last three days, Smudger had been allowing a dear friend of his to stay with him until she could get back on her feet. She had shown up at his door, naked as the day she was born, with nothing but a thin sheet to protect herself from the cold. On top of that...her face was covered in dried blood and fresh bruises. Smudger didn't even hesitate when he saw her in the state that she was in. Using his best stern teacher voice, he told her to come inside and sit down. He loaned her a pair of his best pyjama pants and a t-shirt, before making her a hot cup of tea to help warm her up. And, judging by the looks of her injuries, he knew that he was in for a fucking horror story...

The young woman in question's name is Carla Swayze. Or, Nurse Swayze, to her colleagues and patients at Los Angeles General Hospital. The very same hospital where his best friend turned brother-in-law works as a doctor. The two had been introduced when his younger sister, Rebecca, had brought her over after school one day, because the two had a project that they were working on for their chemistry class. He was sitting in the living room when the two girls walked through the front door, and the second that his eyes had met Carla's...

He couldn't help but feel instantly smitten by her...

His first impression of Carla was that she was bright, beautiful, outgoing, asute, and very wise beyond her years. He also noticed that her sense of humour mirrored his own, due to how hysterically she laughed at some of his wise cracks and impressions. Hell. She nearly pissed herself when he did his dead on impressions of Austin Powers, Dr. Evil, Fat Bastard, and Goldmember. It wasn't long before the two started to become extremely close, to the point that their friends and family started to wonder whether or not they were dating. They were asked about this, day in and day out, and the answer was always the same...

The answer was "No."

Smudger never told Carla that he had feelings for her, out of fear of being rejected. Nevertheless, he knew that she was The One for him, right from the very beginning. But, despite the fact that they weren't dating, there was one particular night that the two had given into their urges. And, this was a night that he never, ever forgot...

It was the night of Senior Prom. Smudger's parents had allowed him to throw an after party at the house, under the condition that he and Rebecca cleaned up whatever potential mess was made. Both siblings agreed, and they made sure to keep their word. Drinks were flowing. People were dancing and having the time of their lives. And, to no one's surprise, Carla ended up being Smudger's prom date. Hell...he didn't even need to ask her to go with him. She just approached him at his locker one day and told him straight up that she would be his date. Smudger knew better than to say no to her, given the fact that he was planning on asking her to go with him, anyways. Carla had gone upstairs to use the bathroom, and Smudger followed her to make sure that she was okay and that no one tried to do anything inappropriate. But, when Carla emerged, she had gone up to him and asked if she could talk to him about something in private. Of course, he was puzzled, but, he told her that she could and the two retreated to Smudger's room

He should have known that something was up when Carla locked the door behind her. He, at first, thought she locked it so that guests wouldn't drunkenly barge in and interrupt them. Pretty normal for someone to do, right? Well. Not in this case. Carla clearly had something planned, and it sure as shit wasn't a heart to heart between best friends. That became obvious when Smudger was suddenly pinned against the door, and Carla had kissed him before he could ask her what the fuck she was doing. The second her lips met his, it felt like time itself had stopped. Everything started spinning around him, and it was as if it was just the two of them in that big house. They ended up making love for the very first time, all while Take On Me by A-ha blasted from the stereo in the living room. They gave each other their virginity, and it was the most incredible experience of Smudger's young life...

But, little did he know, that his life would soon take an unexpected and tragic turn...

The two had lost touch after Smudger moved away to Scotland after his parents' deaths. He didn't even say goodbye to Carla. He knew that seeing Carla cry would be too much for him, and he needed to get out of Los Angeles for a while to grieve. Despite the distance, he never stopped thinking about her. And he regretted not telling her that he loved her...

Smudger had absolutely no idea about Hank until he moved back to Los Angeles. He had gone to Carla's apartment to go and visit her to catch up, and he will never forget how cold Hank's voice sounded when he asked Carla who was at the door. And his eyes...his eyes were filled with obvious jealousy and disgust. How dare Carla have male friends, right? Carla swore up and down that she was happy, and that Hank was just too protective for his own good sometimes. But, the look in her eyes stated otherwise. Smudger could see the pain and sorrow whenever she spoke, whether the conversation was about Hank or not. But, up until a few nights ago, Smudger had absolutely no idea about how much of a monster Hank truly was...

Carla broke down in tears as she finally confessed to him what truly went on behind closed doors. She had been introduced to Hank through her other best friend, Emily. Hank was a friend of George, Emily's husband, and she thought that the two of them would make a perfect couple due to their similar personalities. At first, Hank seemed like a perfect fit for Carla. He was sweet, charming, funny, kind, and - in Carla's words - absolutely fucking adorable. The two had decided to make things official after nine months of knowing each other, and...that's when everything started going downhill...

Carla had brushed off Hank's outbursts of jealousy at first, thinking that he was just being your average protective boyfriend. But, once he was comfortable enough, his harmless behaviour started to escalate. He put a GPS tracker in her car and phone, that way he could see where she was going and who she was with every time she left the apartment. He started showing up at the hospital whenever Carla was working, thinking that she was having an affair with Rusty, who worked there as a doctor. Hank knew that Rusty and Carla were close friends, and, in his delusional mind? He saw that as a threat. Though...any man who dared to breathe in his girlfriend's direction was a threat to him. And, of course, security was always called to escort him off the property. He was eventually banned from the hospital altogether, after he had assaulted Rusty for simply giving Carla a comforting hug, due to the fact she had an extremely frustrating shift

And, as if Smudger's blood wasn't already boiling as he listened to Carla's tearful confession...she told him that the blood and bruises were the result of Hank assaulting her...

The assault had taken place only an hour before Carla had shown up. She told Smudger that she was on her period, and Hank had demanded her to give him oral sex. Carla refused, due to the fact that she had just gotten home from work, and all she wanted to do was eat her sushi and relax. But, instead of being a rational human being and respecting her right to say "No" to him, Hank decided instead that it would be a good idea to grab Carla by the hair and throw her violently to the ground. He kicked her in the stomach to knock the wind out of her, and he had punched her so hard in the face, he ended up breaking her nose and both of her orbital bones. And she was told that if she told anyone about this, especially George (who works for the LAPD SVU), that he would kill her

Smudger had heard enough at that point, and he told her in that same stern teacher voice that she needed to go and talk to the police after she finished her tea. Carla protested at first, but, she eventually gave up after Smudger gave her a very stern lecture. He drove her to the station, and he will never forget how fucking white George went when he saw Carla's injuries. She was immediately brought into a room to speak to one of the female officers, and he watched as Carla broke down once again as she relayed the same story to her. She was instructed to file a police report, and she had gone the following day to James' law office to file a restraining order. George, Henry, and Gordon had escorted her back to the apartment to grab her belongings, and Hank had threatened her the entire time she was there. And, with George's suggestion, Carla had her phone secretly recording their interaction for the courts to hear, just in case she needed further proof. God Bless you, Georgie!

Smudger had just finished making the bacon and eggs when he heard footsteps coming from the staircase. He turns his head, a small smile forming on his lips as his eyes settle upon the still sleepy blonde who was now beginning to zombie shuffle towards the kitchen island. He warmly tells her good morning, only for her to grunt sleepily in response. He wanted to tell her how adorable she looked when she was sleepy, but, he figured it would be wiser to just chuckle and tell her that breakfast was ready. Carla flashes him a small smirk, before sitting down at the island and digging into the food that Smudger had placed down in front of her.

The entire time Carla was eating, Smudger couldn't help but look over at her. Even with her hair all in a mess, no trace of makeup on her face, and clad in a black, silk nightgown, she was still the most beautiful woman he had ever laid his eyes on. But, he was far too terrified to express to her how he truly felt...

He didn't want to make it seem like he was taking advantage of her, given the fact that she was dealing with an extremely messy situation with an extremely volatile man. Her injuries looked worse now than what they originally did, and, he knew it was going to take a while for them to heal. Seeing her in that state broke his heart, and he silently prayed that Hank would get a good, hard punch in the face by Karma for what he had done to this wonderful woman...

Carla had already finished eating, and Smudger had taken her plate away so that it could be washed. He could still see Carla out of the corner of his eye, and he could see that she was looking at him. He thought nothing of it, until he saw Carla get up out of her chair in a slow, almost hesitant way. Frowning now, he turns around so that he was facing her, before asking in a gentle tone...

"Carla? Honey? Is everything alright?"

Smudger had no idea what his words were about to cause, until Carla started speed walking towards him. She crossed the distance between them faster than she had ever moved in her life and crashed her lips against his before he could say another word, tears streaming down her cheeks as she did so. Smudger whimpered as Carla's mouth shaped itself to his. It felt just like it always had between the two of them. He forgot all about the situation with Hank as he wrapped his arms tightly around her. Nothing else mattered except her. Just her. That was it.

Carla moaned as she felt Smudger's tongue plunging into her mouth, her mind going completely blank. At that moment, she couldn't think about anything except the man holding her and how much she had missed him. She had been so worried about him for so long. She couldn't hold her emotions back any longer. She pulled back slightly, resting her forehead against his and looking into his eyes.

"Let's go upstairs..." she whispered, "get you out of those clothes..."

Smudger whimpered again, unable to stop himself.

'God, I've missed hearing you say that..." he whispered back, a few tears of his own sliding down his cheeks. He buried his face in her neck, praying this wasn't all some cruel dream.

Carla laughed softly as she took Smudger's hand and led him upstairs. She pulled him into the guest bedroom, shoving him onto the bed and crawling on top of him.

"I've missed you so much, Smudger..." she whispered into his ear just before plunging her tongue into it. She rocked her hips against his, moaning as she felt his erection pressing against her. Her entire body was throbbing with a need that only he could fill.

"Take me, Smudger..." she pleaded, "I need you so much..."

Smudger let out a low moan of longing before he could stop it. He ran his hands along Carla's legs, slowly pushing the hem of her silk gown up over her stomach. He reached down and slid his thumb through the lace of her panties before sliding them down her legs and tossing them to the side. He tangled his fingers in her hair, kissing clumsily along her neck and shoulder as he moaned again and lifted his hips for her.

Carla moaned at the feel of Smudger's warm lips on her skin, the feeling of his strong hands on her body. She slowly ran her hands down his chest, over his stomach to the top of his pyjama pants. She slides his pants and boxers off his hips before reaching down to wrap her hand around his shaft. She began to stroke him, rocking her hips in time with the movement of her hand as she kissed along his chest. Her long hair created a curtain around them as she kissed her way up his neck.

"Oh, Smudger..." she moaned.

Smudger gripped Carla's hips, pulling her harder against him.

"Fuck, Carla..." he gasped, "it's been too damn long..."

He lifted her up, grinning when she did the same with him, and slid her down onto his shaft with a loud moan of longing. He didn't move for several moments, simply enjoying the feel of being inside of her again after so many years.

Carla gasped as she felt Smudger fill her completely. She slowly rolled her hips, moaning as she felt the head of his cock rub against her G-Spot. She leaned down, kissing along the side of his mouth as she rode him. Hank didn't matter to her at that moment. The only thing that mattered was Smudger. He needed her, and she realized that she needed him just as much. She didn't want to think about what would happen later. This was their time, and she was taking it.

Smudger whimpered as he felt Carla tighten around him. He grabbed her hips a little tighter, guiding her along his length as she rode him. He arched his back as a sudden wave of pleasure crashed over him, her warmth overwhelming him. She felt just as good as she always had. This was what he had been needing...this moment...this time with her. He moved his hands up her back, pulling her as close as possible as he started lifting his hips to meet her as she continued riding him.

Carla moaned, fresh tears falling down her cheeks as she felt Smudger's emotions. She held him as tight as she could, her body growing hotter as they continued to move faster. Their bodies easily fell into the same easy rhythm they had always had with each other. Her heart felt as if it would burst from her chest as she felt the familiar tightening in her stomach, knowing she was close, covering his mouth with her own and plunging her tongue inside.

Smudger whimpered as he felt Carla's tongue dancing with his. He dug his nails deeper into her skin, thrusting harder and harder. He knew that she was close, and he wanted her to let go and let it out.

Carla shuddered as she felt the pleasure in her body increase. She pulled back from the kiss, letting out a scream as she lost herself in orgasm.

Smudger growled as he felt Carla's body clench around his. He threw his head back, shouting her name as he felt his own release wash over him. It had been so long since an orgasm felt so good, and he didn't want to let her go. Not again...

[adhdvane]

i’ve finally been feeling that pain for awhile of oh... not enough sephira stones???? what??? why gbf??? i always had so many??? this is what happens when you actually upgrade the arcarum summons??? gasp. i’m not even really trying to get borger (though... thanks for that month late evolite finally...... i spent all those valor badges....). i just think it would be nice to get the increased sub arua’s for the next gw, you know. ( i was missing so many aurora hazes, and then the next replicard dropped and i swear the drop rate for hazes is insane... wish i could get those sephira stones to drop )

i decided to finish that quest in the replicard sandbox to defeat all the militis boss in their non-proto-type form last night. they’re mostly just a war of attrition, chip away and survive. (admittedly athena was the first one i did and i was not expected her to just cast special attack on battle join and NUKE EVERYONE, so i did use an elixir but tbh i don’t really care i have like ~280 of them what else am i supposed to use them for). grani was the last one i did and the fu.cking funniest one, bc i new at this point okay, she’s going to cast the first trigger on join, it only hits one person, it doesn’t debuff anyone, i’ll put in the guidebook that gives some more hp and the measly shield at the start, this will be fine, i mean everyone has like OVER 40k hp. it can’t possibly-- soriz got fu.king sniped. i couldn’t stop laughing. (too much screaming under the cut)

i brought him along bc i knew he could easily deal w/her hit 30 to cancel omens. but sniping soriz brought out lobelia... and tbh that was like the absolute best perfect situation to be in. i get to immediately give everyone thunderbolt of disaster (a bit sad there was no time to get the skill dmg cap up from him in sub). that + warbringer is was made this fight easy as hell (still long as fu.ck... i think it took like around 45 turn lol). but thunderbolt made sure those skill dmg omens always got canceled, his self bonus damage and bonus damage with baal’s buff actually got the 30 hit canceled once. i was just not worried about canceling that omen or honestly many of the omens, after i realized warbringer making summer alexial’s sub all just be always available so she can sub and guard them all no problem. (it’s weird using a defensive team again for earth bc without good offensive character my damage on earth is still mostly garbage, i haven’t had summer alexial out since i was trying to clear wamdus. i am used to baal though because i used him a lot before but his nearly constant full party armor once you build momentum is very helpful). warbringer also just always perfectly timed on those 30 hits i wasn’t going to clear so i could immediately have baal’s dispel back to get rid of the uplift grani was going to get... i did take lumberjack as well, because i could use harp (i probably could have used the xeno harp for more healing but i took the xeno harp bc i did have cags in the backline so i could get some crits from the crests) and bring a heal that gained a clear and a veil and a stackable atk/def + charge bar. that and lumberjack is at master lv30 so my first buff lasts longer and chainbursts heal as well. earth was the team i was most worried about, after wind. bc my wind can do nice damage, but i’m so used to using my wind set up that uh, all attack, no need for good defensive crap... so i had to stop and go... oh baal is going to be a bitch and try to debuff the fuck out of us, i’m going to need more than one source of veil... tiamat you are returning to the front line, and i drag grand monika up here because she’s got a dispel and a heal. and that dispel turns into a delay. FUN FACT. BAAL MILITIS IS NOT IMMUNE TO HER ONE TURN PARALYSIS. WISH I HAD TESTED IT EARLIER IT COULD HAVE BEEN VERY USEFUL. I JUST ASSUMED HE WOULD BE IMMUNE SO I DIDN’T BOTHER USING HER DISPEL UNTIL I THAT OMEN STARTED POPPING UP NEAR THE END. i also forgot that tia’s dmg debuff skill also has a delay and a special fear at five crests, god i forgot how useful that was. but my wind team suffers from lower than my other teams hp syndrome bc i don’t have sub aura summons (i remember during that gw i scrambled to get like sr tempest up a bit for tiny hp boost), don’t have owlcat (owlcat, artemis, and red hare are who im missing. i don’t worry about red hare bc i have maximum devil, max draconic weapon, so a decent hp pool for fire. my light suffers a bit, but hey, theyere is the sandy summon... www my earth sits with a 0* mammoth and 5* tower in the sub, despite my 10% hp cut in dark from qilin bow, 1* zirnitra, my weapon skills add 149% hp + 17.5% ax hp... so i have like 57,557 hp as doctor and the rest of the party has like 44k to 39k hp which in the sandbox with the hp buffs that gave my earth ~40k hp looks like 69,310 on me and 53k to 47k on party www jfc, oh oh but double hades turns to 71,946 for me and 55k to 49k on party so wtf this hp pool). what was i rambling about... right, teams i was worried about. the veil back and fourth from rb and tia worked ok for ball thankfully, but it did get a little spicy in hp and i lost someone at the very end, i think tia, so katz had to come out and help finish off. i wasn’t as worried about water (except for that unexpected fucking nuke at the start i wasn’t expecting). bc vane is a monster, after that heal at the start athena was just slow, between lumberjack me and lily, we were able to keep the party is okay health. fire was the best off, esp bc garuda’s join attack is just a self buff and i can get rid of the mirror image easily. lumberjack lv30 + ullikummi + siegfried + decent hp pool = we only even ever got to half hp after a one time i was like nah, i don’t need to guard on this omen half way through the fight when we had no def buffs and i was idiot. (but hey... there is an enmity in my grid... it needs some use). lv30 lumberjack and ullikummi means there is only 1 turn downtime for woodcutter’s song buff (the ullikummi buffs are only 3 turns so they still have 2 turn downtime) so almost constant extra damage and possible heal [chef kiss]. anyways... i do still need to finish getting the last of the earth and water uh lusters... i only need 1 more earth and 3 more water though... for when i can 140 six... though i’m going to need another rotb for qilin anima raids to be going on... i need to buckle down on fediel... and... uhg.... i need dark quartz... thankfully i already 4* the spear relic so i don’t need to worry about detracting from my poor 507 dark quartz any more... uhg before that i still need to farm 241 more light scrolls and 238 more scales... i’ll be able to get a little more scrolls from the month reset though... i still haven’t finished getting three to 100. though the requirement says you only need to have them all 4*... i think you need to have all of the 4th skills unlocked for the skin though??? which i might as well get since gbf is making me do all this crap so i have continue to upgrade my boy okay im going to stop writing now.

[aggressivelyfestive]

What Makes the Sky Blue - Chapter 8: The One

Whoops, sorry about the delay. I got caught up in both GW and then the new story event.

Summary: 

During the fall a mysterious presence manifests and calls (Captain) a singularity, wishing to know the extent of (Captain)’s power and determination.

(Captain) awakens on Lumacie to the sight of overjoyed friends. Sandalphon, on the other hand, is beset by rage at the utter failure of his plan- that’s when the supreme primarch, Lucifer, appears.

Lucifer foresaw what would come to pass and worked behind the scenes to foil Sandalphon’s plot. He absorbs Sandalphon into his own core, thanks (Captain) and company for their efforts, then disappears with the other primarchs.

With peace restored to the world and reconstruction under way, (Captain), Vyrn, and Lyria continue their glorious adventure across the skies.

Episode 1: During the fall a mysterious presence manifests and calls (Captain) a singularity, wishing to know the extent of (Captain)’s power and determination.

The clear blue sky stretches out as far as the eye can see. How much time has passed? Has it been hours or mere seconds? Up is down and right is left. All sense of time is gone. Lingering in (Captain)’s head are visions of Vyrn, Lyria, and everyone else in the crew.

[Flashbacks start]

Vyrn: Say, are you serious about leavin’ the village?

-

Lyria: You should have seen it, Katalina! This hero saved me! It was so… heroic!

-

Katalina: Thank goodness she hasn’t been injured. Have you two been protecting her?

-

Rackam: If you plan on calling yourself a crew, you’d need at least one helmsman on board before anything got started.

-

Io: Nice to meet you… I guess I owe you one. Thanks.

-

Eugen: Hey! Nice work. You caught the ragtag bunch, eh?

-

Rosetta: Oh, I’ve gone and frightened you… little old me! You see I’m but a poor, defenseless woman.

[Flashbacks end]

Countless precious memories flood through (Captain)’s mind as consciousness gradually fades away. A mysterious roar sounds, and a voice speaks to (Captain).

Great One: Child of the Sky… I am the dawn and dusk of creation. I have come to you as you near the brink of death. The time has come to test your strength and resolve as a singularity.

The gravitas and divinity felt from each breath compels obedience.

Great One: As a singularity you are one of the seeds holding sway over the fate of the world. The contrasting fates of the crimson dragon and the girl in blue by your side will bring about much hardship. Much like the cataclysms the world has just overcome. Knowing that, you still reach for the ends of the skies?

> Absolutely.

Great One: …

> I don’t believe in fate.

Great One: To believe or to deny is your choice; regret will come either way.

Great One: The intertwining fates of the two will ultimately bring about the ruin of all worlds. Whom will you choose when that time comes? Your crimson friend or the one who shares your soul?

> I’ll save both of them.

Great One: What a bold thing to say.

> That time will never come.

Great One: What a strange thing to say.

Great One: And now for my final question. What is it that drives your conviction? How do you so fearlessly embark on this journey toward destruction?

> My friends make all the difference.

Great One: I suppose that is what gives you strength as a singularity.

> I’m not alone.

Great One: I suppose that is what gives you strength as a singularity.

Great One: Such childish resolve… Such frail strength… And yet I cannot deny the possibility that lies within…

Lyria (echoing): Open your eyes!

Vyrn (echoing): Wake up!

Lyria (echoing): Please, (Captain)! We need you!

Vyrn (echoing): Don’t give up yet, (Captain)!

Episode 2: (Captain) awakens on Lumacie to the sight of overjoyed friends. Sandalphon, on the other hand, is beset by rage at the utter failure of his plan- that’s when the supreme primarch, Lucifer, appears.

Lyria: Ah! (Captain)’s awake!

Vyrn: Phew! You almost gave me a heart attack back there, (Captain)!

(Captain) wakes up at the cape- as if the fall had never happened. Surrounded by relieved and overjoyed friends, (Captain) breathes a sigh of relief.

Lyria: Sniff… Sniff… I- I don’t know what to…

> I’m back.

Lyria: Yes! Welcome back, (Captain)!

Vyrn: Hehe. Good to see you up and about, sleepyhead!

> Crybaby Lyria.

Lyria: O-of course I’m crying! How could I not be? Hey, what’s so funny?

Vyrn: Ahaha! Crying one second, fuming the next- you’re having a busy day!

Katalina: (Captain)... I knew you still had it in you.

Rackam: Hahaha! You definitely had us on edge there. So… what happened at the bottom of the skies?

Io: How strange. I thought I saw Vyrn and Lyria summon something. Then the next moment (Captain)’s sleeping like a baby on the cape.

Eugen: Hah hah hah! Nothin’ wrong with that, is there? (Captain)’s alive, and that’s what matters.

Rosetta: Hehe, looks like even this 2000-year old archangel is confused.

Sandalphon: How could this be! The terrifying roar shook the world! Why hasn’t Pandemonium been opened? Is there some other condition I don’t know about? Or has the situation changed since I was last in there? Why, why, why!

Michael: Silence yourself. You’re obviously out of options.

Uriel: Want me to shut him up for you? I’ll have to hold back this time though so I don’t accidentally kill him.

Gabriel: Leave him. He does bring up some good points though… Did we simply luck out, or is there more to it all?

Raphael: There is only one possibility…

Brilliant rays of light suddenly surge from the bottom of the skies and pierce through the island, extending far into the welkin. An archangel gently ascends from the rays of light, softly flapping his wings on the way up.

Michael: The supreme primarch!

Lucifer: Michael, Gabriel, Uriel, Raphael… You’ve done well, I appreciate all your hard work.

[The four primarchs straighten proudly.]

Lyria: Oh my! I’ve never seen them like that!

Vyrn: So that’s the supreme primarch… His aura’s just incredible!

Sandalphon: Lucifer!

Lucifer: Sandalphon.

Episode 3: Lucifer foresaw what would come to pass and worked behind the scenes to foil Sandalphon’s plot. He absorbs Sandalphon into his own core, thanks (Captain) and company for their efforts, then disappears with the other primarchs.

The eyes of Lucifer and Sandalphon lock in an intense gaze.

Sandalphon: So you’ve already manifested. I suppose that’s also why Pandemonium won’t open up.

Lucifer: Yes, I held in the core of the seal on Pandemonium.

Sandalphon: Hah hah hah… So you saw this coming… You ignored my rampage and kept watch on Pandemonium this whole time… Mwahaha! Am I so worthless to you that I’m not even worth confronting?

Lucifer: That’s not it. Archangels are forbidden from interacting with the world. I simply fulfilled my duty.

Sandalphon: That’s exactly the problem with you! You always filter out the things you don’t care about! How could you possibly understand the suffering of those deemed worthless! Those of us who get filtered out have no choice but to take things by force!

Lucifer: …

Sandalphon: It could’ve been anyone. Anyone at all. I just wanted one person in the world to tell me that I matter- that I’m needed! Do you even know what that’s like? Someone like you born out of necessity and looked up to by all the archangels could never fathom that pain! I don’t care if the whole world hates me! I…

Lyria: (Captain)... Sandalphon…

Lyria tightly grasps (Captain)’s clothing with trembling fingers.

Lucifer: Sandalphon… So I see the discovery of your purpose is what caused you to close off your heart.

Sandalphon: Humph… Call me childish if you wish.

Lucifer: You brought me peace of mind every time I came by the lab. Your lack of a role allowed me to look upon you as my equal. Your purehearted words would always instill me with such tranquility.

Sandalphon: …!

Lucifer: Forgive me for not noticing your feelings of inferiority earlier.

Sandalphon: Stop it! Don’t think I believe this farce for even a second! But it’s too late to make amends now! Hate me! Destroy me! Punish me! If you forgive me, my last 2000 years will have been for naught…

Lucifer: I am no less guilty, and so I deserve equal punishment. Take solace in my core, Sandalphon.

Sandalphon: Lucifer-

Sandalphon turns into an infinite number of tiny particles of light before being absorbed into Lucifer’s wings.

Michael: Is it over now?

Lucifer: Yes. (Captain), I thank you for stopping my fellow archangel before it was too late.

Lyria: Um… So what happened to Sandalphon in the end?

Lucifer: He has returned to my core. Think of it… as a baby returning to its cradle.

Lyria: Huh?

Lucifer: We shall meet again. Until then continue forth on the path you believe is true.

Michael: I applaud your efforts in stopping this whole mess. I’d love to spar with you next time we meet.

Gabriel: Teehee… Silly Michael. Bye, everyone. Hope to see you again!

Uriel: You guys rocked hard back there! We’d have such an awesome battle if it ever came to that!

Raphael: Safe travels and fortuitous winds to you.

The primarchs vanish one after another… Leaving an awestruck crew on the cape.

-

Episode 4: With peace restored to the world and reconstruction under way, (Captain), Vyrn, and Lyria continue their glorious adventure across the skies.

[At the Hall of Knowledge]

Arusha: What a relief. It’s a miracle that only a few volumes were damaged in that attack!

Johann: Yeah. Thanks to my barrier, you know…

Arusha: What’s that, Johann? Did you forget that you have to make up for breaking the lock on the secret archives? First I want you to pick up all the books on the floor and put them back on the shelves. In the right place!

Johann: Sigh… How many days is that going to take? Hm? Whoa, this text is amazing! You’re the best, Hall of Knowledge!

-

[At the Casino Liner]

Tycoon: Impossible! I lost my fortune in just a single night!

Richard: You have no one to blame but yourself. Putting stock in baseless rumors is one thing, but putting a bounty on a brave young lady?

Tycoon: Wait! You’re not going to get away with this!

Richard: Oh? Trying to take back your losses by force? That’s not-

Therese: That’s not smart! Hah hah! Come at me! I’ve got tons of arena experience. We’ll settle this with a duel!

Tycoon: You’re the undefeated champion, Therese!

Richard: Uh, Therese? Please don’t steal my thunder like that…

-

[At Fremel Island]

Stan: Graaah!

Juri: Yaaah!

[Their swords clash before the two push away.]

Stan: Huff… Huff… Man, you’ve got spirit!

Juri: Bleh… Huff.. Same to you, Mr. Stan. When did you get so good with the sword?

Stan: Just call me Stan. I’m self-taught, Juri- Oops, can I call you Juri?

Juri: Of course! So you’re self-taught. I suppose I should adopt more of my own style too!

Stan: How about another match? Dorya-

Aliza (coming out of nowhere): Doryaaa!

Stan: Augh!

Juri: Stan?

Aliza: What are you doing? You’re supposed to be helping with the reconstruction! Come one, let’s go! The mines are waiting, dummy duo!

Stan: Y-yes, Aliza…

Juri: Sorry, ma’am…

-

[At the Knickknack Shack]

Sierokarte: Welcome! We’re currently running a limited-time sale on all weapons and armor made from halo crystals!

Farrah: C-come on in! We’ve got some hot items for you! Say, Siero. Why are you selling this creepy stuff? It looks like it’s about to come alive at any minute.

Sierokarte: Don’t you worry your pretty little head. This is just a trader’s way of helping with the restoration, Farrakarte. We’re recycling, bringing in tourists, and donating some sales proceeds to the town! That’s three birds for one stone!

Farrah: Oh, I get it! Business is a really deep topic. I’ve got to keep studying! No, wait… Siero, I hope you know I have no intention of becoming a trader!

-

Every island is busy with repair efforts now that buoyancy has stabilized. The Grandcypher has also undergone maintenance and is currently performing test runs before taking to the skies.

Rackam: Hahaha! Excellent, excellent! The engine’s humming beautifully!

Katalina: Hehehe. That’s a relief, considering what we made the Grandcypher go through.

Eugen: Hah hah hah! That’s the first time we’ve had to push the Grandcypher so hard! I sure as heck wouldn’t wanna repeat it!

Io: Hm? But weren’t you romping about with excitement? You and Rackam both.

Rosetta: Oooh, this looks fun. We might not be able to go as fast as the archangels, but let’s try to feel the rush of the wind.

-

(Captain), Vyrn, and Lyria sit on the bow staring off into the vast azure blue.

Lyria: Hey, why is the sky blue?

Vyrn: Huh? That’s a weird thing to ask all of a sudden.

Lyria: Ahaha.. Well… I never really gave much thought to things that are obvious until now. Looking at it again makes me realize how beautiful it is. The size of it all is a little scary actually. That’s just me anyway.

Vyrn: Haha, what are you talkin’ about? It’s like you’re a rookie skyfarer. But after all those awful cataclysms, I get why you’d feel as if things had returned to the beginning.

Lyria: The beginning… Yes, it does kind of feel like when we first started our journey. Once the islands have been restored, everyone’s sure to come back to the crew!

Vyrn: Yep! Then we can get back to the real adventure!

Lyria: Teehee. Let’s do our best! Right, (Captain)?

The rumblings felt around the world have passed, and the crew once again sets out for the ends of the skies. Whatever hardships may arise, or whatever mysteries seem unsolvable, they believe in each other to overcome any obstacles.

End Chapter 8: The One | Start Wyvern’s Reverie

[weekendwarriorblog]

The Weekend Warrior Home Edition May 1, 2020 – THE WRETCHED, VANILLA, DEERSKIN, BULL

Just think...  this weekend would have been the start of the summer box office with Marvel’s Black Widow before COVID came along. Now, we’re waiting for anywhere from two to three months or longer for the next big studio release in movie theaters with so many other “big” movies already being dumped to digital.

This is yet another week with no movies in theaters unless you’re in driving distance to a drive-in (i.e. you have a car), but at least we have some great stuff to watch at home, including a few virtual film festivals and virtual cinemas.

The first major disaster brought on by the advent of COVID-19 was the cancellation of the annual SXSW Festival in Austin. The movie that was supposed to open the fest, Judd Apatow’s The King of Staten Island, starring Pete Davidson, was supposed to open SXSW in March and then play Tribeca earlier this month, but Universal reported earlier this week that it was going to release it via digital download on June 12, the same day it was going to get a theatrical release.

Amazon has teamed with SXSW to screen 39 projects, including seven features, that will screen free of charge on Amazon from April 27 through May 6. The four narrative features available are the British-Bulgarian dramedy Cat in the Wall from Mina Mileva and Vesela Kazakova, which is being compared to Ken Loch’s I, Daniel Blake. There’s also the Guatemalan romance Gunpowder Heart, the French period film Le Choc du Futur and the French sci-fi anthology, Selfie.  The docs being offered are Karen Bernstein’s I’m Gonna Make You Love Me is described as “Fellini meets Motown” about one man’s search for self-acceptance, while Matt Riddlehoover’s My Darling Vivian about Johnny Cash’s first wife, Vivian Liberto, who gave the country singer four daughters. Last up is Alex Lee Moyer’s TFW no GW, a doc about the state of isolation, rejection and alienation that we all seemed to be feeling these days. There will also be a ton of shorts available that you can learn more about at The Hollywood Reporter.

The second weekend of the Virtual Oxford Film Festival will launch a few more feature premieres, as well as a virtual panel and the Fest Forward collection of experimental films. First up, on Friday, May 1 is a panel called “Creating Black Stories in Mississippi” at noon central time, and if you’re interested in that, you may want to check out the Mississippi Shorts, Getting to the Root and 70 Years of Blackness, which will now run through May 8, giving you more time to see them. Friday will also see the premieres of Daniel Lafrentz’s crime-drama The Long Shadow, preceded by Will Goss’ short, Sweet Steel. (Hey! I know Will Goss!) There will be a Zoom Q&A for the two movies on Wednesday, May 6, at 6pm Central. Also available Friday is Travis Beard’s doc, Rockabul, which is about the Afghan band District Unknown who fought against the USA’s counter-culture campaign by challenging freedom of expression and youth identify in Kabul with a QnA on May 8 at 8pm central. The Fest Forward Collection includes 8 international animated films from places like Estonia and Egypt, and those will have a virtual QnA on Saturday, May 2, at 1pm Central. (All of these Oxford QnAs and panels are recorded and available to watch for as long as the films are available to watch.)  You can get tickets for all these movies and events on Eventive.

This week’s Featured Film is the Pierce Brothers’ (Brett and Drew Pierce) horror flick, THE WRETCHED (IFC Midnight), which was a nice surprise since I’m not as easy a lay when it comes to horror flicks as other “horror fan” movie writers. The film involves a somewhat quizzical premise that isn’t too apparent as it begins, as we’re not exactly sure what is going on as it begins. It stars John Paul Howard as Ben, a young man living with his father (Jamison Jones), who has separated from Ben’s mother, as the two of them work at the nearby marina over the summer. Ben is immediately picked on and bullied by the locals, but he’s more distracted by the odd behavior of the woman next door (played by Madelyn Stunenkel). I’m not going to go too far into spoiler territory but the premise does involve witchcraft and an ancient evil that’s cropped up in the small town and is causing the disappearance of many small children… maybe… most of their parents seem to forget they have kids as they follow under the spell of the evil Ben’s discovered.

This is just a fantastic little scarer that at times reminded me of the original Fright Night, and I was really impressed with what the Pierce Brothers, first of all by working with a cast of great lesser-known actors, but the visual FX are fantastic and every aspect of the film’s mood and tone is just about perfect. I guess I’ve seen so much low budget horror that doesn’t really match the standards or production values of even some of the smaller-budget Blumhouse movies.

While you may not be near any of the scattered drive-in across the country that will probably be playing the movie, I definitely recommend downloading and/or renting it if you’re a fan of quality horror. The Pierces are extremely talented filmmakers who I’m sure will be doing better things down the road. For me, this is right up there with The Invisible Man, as far as this year’s stronger horror films.

Out now on VOD and Digital is Will Dennis’ quirky road comedy VANILLA (Gravitas Ventures) about a comedian (Kelsea Bauman) who goes on a three-day road trip from New York to New Orleans with an ice cream entrepreneur (Dennis), to sell his van with a questionable past to his ex-girlfriend. Both of them see the trip as a date, of sorts, but they set up a number of rules and boundaries to make the trip work.  It’s a pretty simple premise that’s made more fun by the unique elements Dennis introduces. Vanilla is a sweet, cute romantic movie with two actors appearing in their first movie that reminds me a little of the early work of the Duplass Brothers or Joe Swanberg where there’s a simplicity to the storytelling, but it’s really driven by the wonderful chemistry between the two leads.  It’s kind of amazing how enjoyable this movie is considering the inexperience of both actors, and I hope this gets seen by more people.  This is a wonderful discovery film that I was told played at the Lighthouse International Film Festival in Jersey and the Phoenix Film Festival, just a reminder why film festivals are so important!

Also on VOD and Digital this Friday is Annie Silverstein’s BULL (Samuel Goldwyn), starring Rob Morgan from Mudbound, Just Mercy and Netflix’s Daredevil. Amber Havard plays 14-year-old Kristal, a young troubled girl who is on her way to ending up in jail like her mother. After an incident where Kristal is in danger of going to juvie, she’s given a choice instead to help her next door neighbor, Morgan’s bull rider Abe Turner, with errands around his home. Kris soon discovers her own love for bull riding, as this unlikely relationship grows. I’m a big fan of Rob Morgan as an actor, because his work is highly-underrated, and I do have to say that Bull is a great vehicle for Morgan to have more of a leading role than he normally gets. He shines in that capacity, and Havard does a decent job in their scenes together, even though it’s a far lower key role. Then again, I thought this was a moderately decent indie that covered topics very similar to other movies, including Laure de Clermont-Tonnerre’s The Mustang last year and Chloé Zhao’s The Rider a year earlier.  Unfortunately, the material and especially Silverstein’s writing isn’t up to par with those movies, and it took me a little longer to get into this vs. those other films. Oddly, this will probably be seen by more people due to its VOD release, and that’s fine since I’d love movies like this to find more of an audience even with its pacing issues.

Back in the VOD/digital world, we have a handful of new releases including Quentin (Rubber) Dupieux’s DEERSKIN (“Le Daim”) (Greenwich), which I got a chance to see at Rendezvous with French Cinema back in February before the world came to a screeching halt, and that series ended up also being sidelined. The movie stars Oscar winner Jean Dujardin from The Artist whose obsession with a designer deerskin jacket leads him into a life of crime as he tries to complete his all-deerskin wardrobe. I generally like Dupieux’s weird sense of humor, and though this is less of a genre film than Rubber, it’s an entertaining film as we watch Dujardin’s character get further and further into trouble as he becomes obsessed with making a movie… as well as abolishing the world of all other jackets besides his own. If that sounds weird like a strange premise, then you clearly don’t know Dupieux’s work, and maybe it’s not for you. Deerskin is a movie I fully appreciated, because it was so weird and you never know where it was going, even going into the realm of American Psycho as it went along. Dujardin’s expressive performance was quite fun to watch, plus it it also co-stars Adèle Haenel from Portrait of a Lady on Fire, for those who loved that movie. Again, not for everyone, but if you enjoy Dupieux’s strange filmmaking ethos then Deerskin is another highly original offering.

Film at Lincoln Center’s Virtual Cinema will also be playing Catalan filmmaker Albert Serra’s new film Liberté (Cinema Guild), following it being a selection at the 57th New York Film Festival last year. This one takes place in the 18th century where a group of “bewigged libertines” engage in “pansexual games of pain, torture, humiliation and other dissolute, Sadean pleasure.” Sounds like something that would never play in Middle America if not for being available across the country thanks to this Virtual Cinema. I can’t remember if I saw Serra’s other film, The Death of Louis XIV, but this doesn’t sound like something I would watch unless I had free time at a festival, and clearly, I didn’t have time for this one at least year’s NYFF.

Another foreign film to look out for via virtual cinema is César Diaz’s Belgian-Guatemalan film, Our Mothers (Nuestras Madres) (Outside Pictures), which will be available via Virtual Cinema Friday. Besides being the Belgian entry for the 92nd Academy Awards, it also won the Caméra d’Or at last year’s Cannes, where it premiered during Cannes International Critics Week. It stars Armando Espitia as young anthropologist Ernesto who works for the Forensic Foundation in Guatemala as the country is in the middle of trying the soldiers who began the country’s civil war. Ernesto’s job is to identify the bodies of the missing, including possibly his father whose went missing during the war. The project began as a documentary and then became a narrative film.

Semi-related to the above, Cinema Tropical will be releasing three new genre-breaking films from a new generation of Brazilian directors, the “Cinema Tropical Collection” also done in conjunction with Lincoln Center, beginning with Gabriel Martins and Maurílio’s In the Heart of the World on Thursday, April 30.

Another movie getting a “Virtual Cinema” release (i.e. VOD/Digital) is Alex Rivera and Cristina Ibarra’s “docu-thriller” THE INFILTRATORS (Oscilloscope), which tells the true story of two immigrants who are thrown into a detention center. Marco and Viri are members of the National Immigrant Youth Alliance, a group of young DREAMers who want to put a stop to unjust deportations by being put in detention themselves, a plan that doesn’t go the way they planned. The film cuts between documentary footage of the real “infiltrators” with reenactments of the events inside the detention story, so it’s part documentary and part drama.

Also, Kino Lorber will be releasing Beanpole director Kantemir Balagov’s 2017 debut film, Tesnota (Closeness), virtually on Friday to help assist New York arthouse, Anthology Film Archives. This one is set in 1998 Nalchik in the North Caucasus of Russia and focuses on 24-year-old Jewish girl Ilana who works in her father’s garage, and while celebrating her young brother David’s engagement, he and his fiancée are kidnapped, but the Jewish community won’t go to the police to pay the ransom, so Ilana and her parents have to figure out a way to save them on their own.

STREAMING AND CABLE

Lots of stuff on Netflix this week, including THE HALF OF IT, the new film from Alice Wu, her first movie as as director since her terrific 2004 debut, Saving Face! This one stars Leah Lewis as Ellie Chu, a cash-strapped teen who writes a love to the school’s jock but ends up becoming friends with him and falling for the girl he has a crush on. I haven’t watched it yet to review, but I’m looking forward to it being a nice twist on Netflix’s other teen-oriented romance films.

Ryan Murphy’s second series for Netflix, Hollywood, will debut its first season on Friday, this one co-created with Ian Brennan (Glee, Scream Queens). It takes place in a post-WWII Hollywood and tells the story of a group of actors and filmmakers trying to make it. The cast includes Darren Criss, Patti Lupone, Mira Sorvino, Rob Reiner, Samara Weaving AND Michelle Krusiec, who starred in Alice Wu’s Saving Face! (See how it’s all connecting together?)

Chris Bolan’s documentary A Secret Love, which premieres on Netflix Wednesday, about two women, Pat Henschel and pro baseball player Terry Donahue, who fell in love in 1947 but had to keep that love a secret for 65 years due to the prejudice against lesbians they would have had to face.

Starting on Amazon this Friday is Upload, the new series from Greg Daniels (The Office, Parks and Recreation), with the first season being made up of ten episodes.  It stars Robbie Amell, who I got to interview last year for a small indie sci-fi film called Code 8. This is another dealing with life, death and the afterlife which seems to be a running theme through many series in recent years (such as Miracle Workers and The Good Place). In this one, Amell plays Nathan, a spoiled rich guy who ends up at Upload after a horrifying accident that takes his place, while Andy Allo plays the Upload “angel” assigned to Nathan who has to get him acclimated to his new afterlife. I’ve only watched the first episode of this so far, and it’s okay. I’m curious to see where it goes since it’s not a straight comedy perse like some of Daniels’ other work, and a lot is put on Amell’s shoulders to be funny, and Daniels is working with a lot of lesser-known actors for this one.

On Sunday, Showtime will launch the season debuts of Billions (Season 5) and the first season of Penny Dreadful: City of Angels.

Also, Lionsgate’s free movie offering this Friday is Damien Chazelle’s La La Land, my #1 movie of that year… thanks for nothing, #Schmoonlight!

Next week, more movies and shows not in theaters!

By the way, if you read this week’s column and have bothered to read this far down, feel free to drop me some thoughts at Edward dot Douglas at Gmail dot Com or drop me a note or tweet on Twitter. I love hearing from readers … honest!

[xenosgirlvents]

8th Edition Rulebook (Fluff)

So I paged through the Rulebook for the 8th Edition. Just some random notes in no particular order;

- Confirmed Craftworlds represent the largest percentage of the Eldar/Aeldari population.

- White Consuls lost their Chapter Homeworld to Chaos, though its confirmed they survived and escaped.

- Seems a bit of backtracking regarding Biel-tan, although its also very confusing still. Whilst Fracture implied Biel-tan was going to be repaired, the Rulebook now seems to imply the Craftworld has been abanonded and Biel-tan’s just become a much smaller migratory fleet, whilst another part seems to suggest either Biel-tan, or just its army, has now moved into the Webway. Very sad to hear if the Craftworld is gone for good since that means no more Avatar of Khaine and I loved my Bahzakhain being lead by a shard of their War god ;_;

- Ghazghkull and the Swarmlord teamed up (ignored each other briefly) to fight the ‘Blood Crusade’ together on Octarius. It is noted this is one of only two times the Blood Crusade is halted. Guess Ghazghkull is back on Octarius despite Rise saying he was leading a fleet through Imperium Space.

- Iyanden was attacked by another major invasion force (I’m sorry but this is just silly GW, attack a different freaking Craftworld already) this time it was Slaanesh but Eldar of all the known factions (even Exodites are mentioned) rallied to their side and defeated the invasion.

- Imotehk went on a reconquest spree and seems to probably have the single largest congruent empire right now, judging by the map.

- Cadian System, not Cadia itself, largely weathered the worst Abaddon could throw at it and have now begun fighting back, preventing Abaddon from having the Spearhead he’d hoped for in Imperium space. Abaddon himself is having a nap (I guess) since he’s basically not mentioned and apparently his united Chaos Forces are already all attacking each other.

- Nurgle got the Scourge Stars. Tzeentch got himself a small domain too and besieged the Mordian’s homeworld but couldn’t conquer it cause Ulthwe showed up to help the Imperium beat him.

- Khorne though just sending random Daemons at Terra would work and he lost badly. He got so angry he obliterated a bunch of the Bloodthirsters leading the attack for good (which considering they’re part of him is kinda like cutting his nose to spite his face I guess).

- Ahriman raided some places. Amazing.

- Tau do nothing except lose the 4th Expansion fleet and launch the 5th.

- Tyranid lose on Baal but that’s been covered, same for Armageddon going Daemon.

- The War in Ultramar is gone into in quite some detail. Ku’gath, Mortarion and Typhus are commanding, Typhus operating out a fleet. Typhus destroys half the Starforts which protect Ultramar’s Trade lines, Kugath conquers some system between the Scourge Stars and Ultramar and Mortarion doesn’t have quite the same success. Important losses is that the pristine hospital world of Iax is wrecked by plague for good. Mortarion and Roboute fight to a standstill there but the Deathguard lose the overall Plague Wars cause they all get summoned back to help defend Nurgle from his brothers. Of note also is that the biggest Ultramar Starfort, Galatan, is boarded by Typhus and the Novamarine Chapter Master dies aboard it but, judging by no further mention, I’m guessing the Starfort itself is fine. The Plague Wars do end with Ultramarine victory after the Deathguard pullout of course.

- Big ending point is Chaos is now going majorly to war with itself. I dunno it seems kinda like a bad time what with their major offensive having just stalled, Roboute coming back and so on. Really not sure where Abaddon’s gone. I mean when Archaon had this problem in AoS it was only after Chaos had practically conquered everything, and the moment their is pushback Archaon was capable of knocking heads together and formulating pretty good responses pretty quick. Abaddon seems to have just disappeared, I dunno.

Overall the Fluff looks pretty good if you’re Chaos or the Imperium. I won’t lie, the book definitely tries to make Chaos look better than normal, including mention of the White Consul’s defeat and the Scourge Stars creation. Even the Plague War is written more as Ultramarine+Deathguard tie but Deathguard get pulled away to a more important battle. So its definitely an improvement...for Chaos and the Imperium. Xenos still don’t do much but lose, like Baal, boring Iyanden rehash or kinda irritated that Ghazghkull is back on Octarius again with seemingly no indication he’s ever returning to Armageddon.

Really surprised there isn’t a more detailed timeline section. Also kinda wanting more info on the Primaris and the Indomitus Crusade (what it actually did). The book seems scarce on this stuff, which seems kinda like the necessary info for the new setting to start standing on. Dunno, just thought there’d be more on both the Primaris Marines and Indomitus Crusade.

They did say Chaos/Imperium was the focus (it always has been though so I don’t get that statement) but I can still appreciate that what new fluff was in the book did try hard to actually pain both sides as doing well and not just one side losing, I’ll still respect that.

Honestly though the lack of info on the Indomitus Crusade really leaves me now just wanting to know more about what has actually happened. Several questions come to mind;

- What happened to Chogoris? Last we heard it was pretty much completely wrecked by the Red Corsairs

- What happened to Ghazghkull’s teleporting megafleet?

- What is the situation with the Wulfen and the wider Imperium? Dark Angels and the wider Imperium? How will the Bloodangels recruit when Baal has been scoured of all life, will they establish new recruiting worlds further afield?

- What exactly is the state of Biel-tan?

- Will Saim-hann ever do anything?

- Did Badrukk’s Waaagh!!! hit Catachan? What happened?

- Why does Angron need a summoning Ritual when Magnus, Fulgrim and Mortarion are already walking about fine?

- When will Asdrubael get his groove back?

- How is Sergeant Harker alive after 102 years?

- Segmentum Pacificus? Does it even exist still? Wasn’t it lost reported to have gone completely silent? There are clearly still Imperial Worlds there and its treated as part of the Imperium without much mention of problems.

- Is the mention of Exodites and -Redacted- in the Aeldari section evidence we’ll get an Exodite and Slaaneshi-Aeldari factions soon? (I can only hope).

An ending note which is quite nice. The book calls Belisarius Cawl, Katarina Greyfax and Saint Celestine the Greatest Heroes of the Imperium, so that’s my headcanon now. Stand aside everyone else, these are the true Greatest Heroes of the Imperium.

[adelaidecity]

'She can get stuffed': Star sledges granny

There were plenty of talking points to come out of AFL Saturday. Melbourne, Essendon, GWS and Carlton have all suffered big losses on a big day of footy but Port Adelaide, who won, suffered the cruellest blow with Jack Watts suffering a suspected broken leg. 11.30pm Danger sledges granny Add Melbourne to the list of teams that are under the pump early in the AFL season. Simon Goodwins side have joined Sydney, Carlton and Essendon in being 0-2 and were hammered by a ruthless Geelong side at GMHBA Stadium. After their round one loss to Port Adelaide the Dees would have wanted to turn things around but despite a glut of possession at the back end of the second quarter and the start of the third they couldnt kick goals and when Geelong made the most of their limited forward forays to kick six unanswered goals in the third term the game was blown wide open. Geelongs big off-season signings Luke Dahlhaus and Gary Rohan did what they were bought to do provide forward pressure and kick goals, combining for five goals and 13 tackles, 11 of those to Dahlhaus. By the end of the third the Cats led by 55 and that margin only extended late in the night as they ran out 80 point winners 20.6 (126) to 6.10 (46), despite 43 disposals for Melbourne star Clayton Oliver. And despite all the talk surrounding Max Gawn during the week the Cats did not employ the same physical pressure Port Adelaide did, nor did they need to. The Cats even got a couple of youngsters on the scoresheet as rookies Charlie Constable and Jordan Clark kicked their first senior goals at their home ground. Clarks came in a particularly nice moment the 18-year-old handpassed to Tom Hawkins, who was running into an open goal before Hawkins turned and gave the ball back to Clark to kick his first major in senior footy. While many of their stars fired, arguably the best was Patrick Dangerfield, who kicked two goals and amassed 37 disposals for the match. He got off the leash in the opening term when the Demons elected to send tagger James Harmes to Tim Kelly instead. Dangerfield was ecstatic with the performance post match but he also had an awkward moment when he sledged his grandmother live on television, when being interviewed by Geelong great Cameron Ling. Asked if he was pointing at his grandmother after he kicked a goal, Dangerfield said it was actually the coach before lambasting his nanna. Nah, it wasnt to nan, it was actually to the cockroach (coach Chris Scott), he gave me a few little goalkicking points this week I dont know how many goals Chris kicked in his career but it worked. Ling then told Dangerfield the commentary team gave his nan the credit before the Cats star decided hed had enough. Shes getting too much time at the moment, she can get stuffed, he said as a shocked Ling looked on. The Dees will get their chance to get their first win of the season when they tale on Essendon on Friday night at the MCG, while the Cats take on Adelaide on Thursday night at Adelaide Oval. 11.15pm Eagles thump Giants West Coast unveiled their 2018 flag before flexing their premiership muscle with a 52-point win over GWS at Optus Stadium on Saturday night. The Eagles copped a big wake-up call in last weeks 44-point loss to Brisbane, and they were desperate to avoid a 0-2 start to the season. Alarm bells were ringing when GWS edged to a two-point lead midway through the second term. But West Coast booted the next five goals in a 12-minute blitz to help set up the 16.8 (104) to 7.10 (52) win in front of 54,985 adoring fans. GWS won the inside 50m count 62-47, but their sloppy entries cost them dearly. Giants midfielder Lachie Whitfield was stunning with 33 disposals and five clearances in a hard-running display, but his teammates lacked the same polish. West Coasts Norm Smith medallist Luke Shuey tallied 28 disposals and two goals, while Jeremy McGovern was a rock in defence with 11 marks. Jack Darling booted four goals and Oscar Allen three, but Josh Kennedy (1.3) was rusty in his return from injury.

media_cameraJack Darling and Jack Petruccelle of the Eagles celebrate a goal. Ruck recruit Tom Hickey made up for last weeks quiet display with 20 hit-outs, 18 possessions, and eight marks in his first home match for the Eagles. West Coast unfurled their premiership flag in entertaining style before the match, with the Eagles mascot backflipping off the stadiums roof before ziplining his way to the middle of the oval with the flag attached. Eagles players had plenty of motivation given Kennedy, Chris Masten, and Shannon Hurn were celebrating significant milestones. But it was GWS who controlled the early stages. Whitfield was unstoppable in the first term with 12 disposals, and he continued the onslaught in the second term as the Giants run-and-stun style looked set to tear the game wide open. But their inability to make the most of their forward thrusts came back to haunt them as West Coast finished the second quarter with a goal blitz take a 28-point lead into half-time. GWS entered the long break with the sombre knowledge they had scored just three goals from their 36 inside 50s. In contrast, West Coast booted eight goals from their 23 entries an efficiency that proved to be the difference. West Coasts marking power in attack was also causing GWS problems. The Giants hopes of a comeback in the third quarter were brought undone by two separate 50m penalties that cost them goals. And when Dom Sheed relived his grand final glory with a goal from the pocket, West Coast headed to the final break with a 31-point lead and the game effectively in the bag. AAP 8pm Watts suffers horror broken leg

media_cameraJack Watts was in plenty of pain after this tackle from Dale Thomas. Jack Watts wretched luck has struck again, with the star Port defender suffering what appeared to be a sickening leg break at the ankle. Watts was streaming out of defence when Carlton veteran Dale Thomas chased him down and brought him down from behind and Watts ankle appeared to snap. That looks a lot like a break, said the commentators as Watts laid on the ground in agony while the medics came out with a stretcher to get him off the ground, other were quick to comment on social media. Oh no. Bloody feel for Jack Watts - such a cruel game. David King (@davidking34) March 30, 2019 Port Adelaide understand the best case scenario for Jack Watts is a Richard Douglas style injury. Minimum six weeks is the early indicator. #AFLPowerBlues Tom Basso (@TheTomBasso) March 30, 2019 Play stopped for several minutes as Watts was seen to and several players from both teams then went over to check on the former No. 1 draft pick and after the game coach Ken Hinkley confirmed the worst news for Port, that Watts most likely had a broken fibula. Port coach Ken Hinkley says Jack Watts has most likely a broken leg, while Karl Amon has a medial ligament knee injury @AFLcomau Lee Gaskin (@Lee_Gaskin1) March 30, 2019 Watts had revealed last week that after an off-season that involved a risque video of him being leaked and a text message scandal that he had experienced days where I didnt want to get out of bed. The setback was the second injury suffered by a Port player on the night as Karl Amon injured his knee in the opening term, while Carlton star Charlie Curnow also suffered a knock to his knee and played no further part after the second term with Carlton saying he was being kept out as a precaution. When Watts went off the ground Port were down to 20 men and only leading by eight points after Brad Ebert used a great display of strength and skill to kick the opening goal of the final term. But what was impressive was the way they fought on after losing Watts and the man who sealed it was livewire midfielder/forward Steven Motlop, who kicked two goals in quick succession to push Port out to a comfortable 20 point lead. Alex Fasolo and Kade Simpson kicked late goals for the Blues but it wasnt enough as Port won the match 13.10 (88) to 11.6 (72). Despite the win and being their 2-0 record thus far all the focus will be on Watts injury but the Power might have a ready-made replacement with Hamish Hartlett close to a return from the ACL tear he suffered last season. They also have star midfielder Ollie Wines waiting in the wings to return from his own injury. Watts injury is the third major injury to a big name star this season after Richmonds Alex Rance went down with an ACL in round one and teammate Jack Riewoldt suffered a scaphoid fracture in their round two match. 8pm Essendon fans look away now Essendon sunk just two points in the first term to kick off the first match of the night on completely the wrong foot. Granted, St Kilda werent at their best in the opening term, skewing a handful of opportunities wide but the 19-2 scorecard spoke for itself going into the first break. Thats a horror quarter. They came out and showed no intent, Garry Lyon said of the Bombers. A particularly damning video of Bombers players Matt Guelfi and Kyle Langford ignoring the ball near the fence emerged midway through the term. Look away, Bombers supporters. That is appalling. That is just appalling football, Lyon said. They just stopped playing the ball and ran off the ground. The Bombers showed face in the following term, booting four goals. But their defence couldnt lock down the Saints as the away team tore away with five for the quarter. Josh Bruce was particularly dangerous in the forwards, taking a sky-high mark and leading the tally with 2.1 by the halftime bell. After being labelled every insult under the sun at halftime, the Bombers pulled their finger out for the third term and fought their way within 10 points of the Saints. A captains quarter from Dyson Heppell helped kick the struggling side back into gear, booting a spectacular goal out of the blocks. Tom Bellchambers and Mitch Brown both chimed in with maximums of their own, while Essendon locked down St Kilda to just nine points for the quarter to even the gap. St Kilda returned in the fourth quarter to run away with the match, making it two in a row for the embattled club to kick off the season. Originally published as She can get stuffed: Star sledges granny https://www.adelaidenow.com.au/sport/afl/afl-saturday-live-coverage-of-todays-games/news-story/ccdaa01db6c8053ffbbc0c25f2015279?from=htc_rss