#it worked way better than i expected lol

[lostxmelody]

[wip] hmmm

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

(DATV thoughts with spoilers ahead; i think my tags will keep it filtered but just in case it doesn't since i dont want this in the actual game tags)

i just... man. i don't have a well formulated thought for this yet (and its my PERSONAL OPINION and other people can feel as different as they want, this is not an attack) but it keeps bouncing around my head, so. i know the popular thing right now is coming up with in-universe justifications for The Pantry Almost-Kiss Scene in ways that imply Lucanis didn't mean it/it doesn't represent him as a person/he was Faking It.

and i just don't like any of them. they make me sad!!!!!! i don't like the idea that one of the like 4 romance scenes we get in this game is him Pretending in some way, even if he does at that point like Rook back at least somewhat. None of the justifications i've seen make me feel Better about that being the point where we declare him as a romantic interest, which is what it is in the game, functionally. It doesn't lock you in yet but that point IS where the game says "they will take your flirting more seriously now". I did those same scenes for Davrin, Emmrich, and Taash and this is the formula the game uses (the "interrupted almost-kiss/confession" happens for almost all of the companions).

so if the answer for Lucanis' is "actually he stopped because he Didn't like what he was doing/feel that way yet" or that he felt he had to pretend for Rook's sake... it's kind of a letdown you know? esspecially when it comes right after what seems like an actually authentic moment (dispelling his "perfectly gathered clouds of doom"). Because, at that point in the game from my/Rook's perspective, it was like he finally was reciprocating. It made me hope that he'd acknowledge whatever was between him & Rook more in future scenes, especially because you get so little else from him at any other point, in terms of flirting back/showing you he IS interested. like up to that point I felt kind of bad for continuing to flirt at him, when he'd just change the subject right after! if someone did that in real life i would take it as a hint to stop. This is pixels and not real people so I didn't but they have done "reluctant/fearful interest" better in other characters if that's truly what they were going for in this one.

so after finishing the romance and getting the rest of content... idk. I don't like saying "one of the major chunks of characterization we get needs to be Thrown Out Actually because he was Pretending". because it's not like he or Rook ever actually address it in game--you just don't get to talk about feelings until some dialogue choices only in the act 3 romance scene, and then his speech at endgame (not even a full conversation, so much as his personal declaration). like it takes until the VERY end of the game for him to say the thing about "he was afraid to want you", but that comes after you've already hooked up, even.

I think truly what annoys me is that it's a story choice that can only make sense in HINDSIGHT not AS PLAYING. Only once you have all the scenes can you say "this one is out of character" and then you either have to accept it as bad writing, or come up with some in-universe justification to explain it... and so far none of the in universe ones feel good to me. i wish they did because maybe then I'd be less annoyed, rip. but at the end of the day i think even if there was some intent there, it was a poor choice for his story arc, because it doesn't effectively convey anything... and the reason why we can project a lot of different explanations onto it is simply because it is never addressed again (and again, Lucanis Dellamorte is NOT A PERSON he is a CHARACTER used to further a story for you the player, and so the reasons I don't like this choice are story-level and not a dig at how real life people feel or act).

So yeah at the end of the day. that is simply not a narrative device I would ever personally use in this way on a player/reader. certain kinds of hindsight revelations have their place (see: what the devs tried to do with Varric though I also think that falls apart on close inspection, but at least it has justification in-universe), but for a romance it just makes me embarrassed for Rook. In a game where you don't have nearly as many back-and-forth conversations with characters and have to resort to eavesdropping on them talking to each other, it's sad that one of the like 5 times you actually get to talk to Lucanis one on one we're maybe supposed to believe he wasn't being authentic, and also that Rook can't respond to this ever. It would be different if it had any kind of follow up, imo. or honestly as i've said before i would rather it have been swapped out with something entirely different or where we get to talk about their feelings instead, before i get labeled as one of the "people mad he's not Zevran 2.0/a sexy latin sterotype".

But having to step back to player-level analysis versus in-character analysis when looking at his whole romance arc just feels sloppy. but i'd much rather stick to "bad writing" than "intentional character choice" in terms of how to interpret the scene I guess, at this point, for poor Rook's sake. and i know people disagree with when I've said that before bc as much as I love Mary Kirby in other areas, she has said many times that she doesn't like writing romance, and I think it really does show here. As much as I love Lucanis and the scraps we got I wish I didn't have to do so much filling-in-the-blanks on our own.

[evilkitten3]

i have a theory about shinji, gin, and aizen, but i'm not really sure how to word it.

we never really see shinji and gin interact all that much, which makes sense bc both of them have significantly more important relationships with aizen, but at the same time it's a little odd how much there isn't.

like. gin cut hiyori in half. shinji is understandably pissed about that, but he aims that anger at aizen - and this seems to be one of the very few things in the bleach world that honestly isn't on him bc he never told gin to do that, he never even implied it. hiyori was never a threat to him. hell, we don't even know if she was charging in the right direction; if anything, attacking her implies that she was which is a really stupid thing to do when you're surrounded by a bunch of people who super want you dead and would kill you if they could be sure you weren't tricking them into stabbing each other (ofc it could also be a fakeout but still)

but i don't remember shinji's beef ever really being with gin, even tho he didn't seem to anticipate that gin was working with aizen the whole time during tbtp. so like does he feel responsibility there? cuz gin went straight from academy to 3rd seat and shinji could plausibly feel like that sent him right to aizen bc he doesn't know that gin was always aiming for that. did he blame himself? does he feel like he should've seen it coming? does he still see him as some weird genius kid? does he just view gin as an extension of aizen, which is both dehumanizing to an extent but also entirely fair bc gin did that to himself?

the thing is, since we never really see them interact much, it's kind of only interesting on shinji's side of things, bc gin doesn't really care about much outside of whatever the fuck he thought he was doing and the version of rangiku that he has in his head who needs back something that the real one doesn't ever seem to have realized she lost to begin with. gin's so disconnected with basically everybody that most of the time you can usually assume his thoughts are just "lol. lmao" and there's no reason to think that doesn't extend to shinji as well (gin has deep thoughts on: aizen, ichigo, and matsumoto (massive asterisk on that one ofc) and i think everyone else is kinda set dressing to him lmao the guy is Fucked Up)

anyway i think it's interesting to toy around with that relationship as it was in reality as well as how it might've been perceived, but also in the sense of both of them being sort of opposite ends of the manchild spectrum - shinji leans into his childish side but still has a fairly adult worldview, and gin is able to pull off maturity to an extent but was never able to escape a deeply childish mindset

[vynnyal]

Turns out Sunlit Trail isn't quite done just yet, so after all that they just send you to a dead end 😂

[good-beanswrites]

Any thoughts about your Hello Es AU?🎤

Thank you ooh -- this was so fun to think about! (I did some art earlier here :)) Spoiler warning for all three episodes of Hello Charlotte 🧸👁️🩸

So, out there in the real world somewhere, there exists “real Es”, (the Charles of the story) who has created Es as his perfect protagonist/ideal identity. Real Es ends up killing someone, and undergoing some kind of psychotic break that creates The House (now known as The Prison). Various people from his life appear there, each with their own murder, reflecting Real Es’ complex feelings about their own crime.

Es/Charlotte – A puppet at the whims of the audience. They have many forms along with conflicting thoughts and motivations. As lax as they may get about their own safety, they always take their duty to the tenets very seriously. They have a little Magalope pet :3 I know in canon the characters are separate, but I’m still picturing them as some combination of Q84 and Ep1/2 Charlotte. 

Fuuta/Felix – The fiery friend who's all bark and no bite. He’s the most openly aggressive out of everyone, but still ends up trying to help people around him. Through his attempts to do something helpful, his recklessness, and need to be treated as an adult, he can find himself in pretty significant danger.

Kazui/Aiden – Calm and quiet, but you get a sense he's very observant to the current situation in his silence. Just because he prefers to do his tailoring/piano hobbies doesn't mean he doesn’t have that underlying demon strength. The most parental over Es, even if they're not always receptive.

Shidou/Huxley – A doctor/scientist with a desire to help save the most (alien) lives that he can, even if it means living on the run as a criminal, as well as an odd coolness when it comes to unethical medical procedures.

Mikoto and John/Bennett – when he’s high on soap, he’s as cheery as always :) Just a normal working guy, you probably won’t even remember his face under the hazmat suit, very normal :) When the effects wear off and the stress gets to him, though, John fronts and isn't afraid to defend himself from any perceived threat.

Yuno/Florence – Puts up a cheery front and is happy to work when she's having fun. After a bit of prodding, she reveals a much more serious and jaded side. She gets along with everyone, but isn't afraid to tell her real feelings to Es when the time is right.

Haruka and Muu /Anri – I’m kind of splitting Anri to make two characters, still capturing her fluctuating status in school and attitude of give-and-receive in friendships. They're caring but clingy, they can be protective but also aggressive. Both of them go back and forth between the personalities we see from her in all three episodes. 

Amane/Frei – (I know in canon Frei is another Charlotte, so I think that works well given how close they are in age and stubbornness.) She sees things through a view of gods/religion, even if not everyone sees the situation that way. She's a bit at odds with Es, trying to persuade them to join in her mindset, but genuinely cares for their well-being while doing it.

Mahiru/Vincent – The new friend with some strange delusions of a perfect “heavenly” world, a hobby of literature, and suicidal intentions. Es takes pity on her after she receives serious injuries from people who reject her. Real Es developed some kind of attachment to her real counterpart (like Charles' idolization of Vincent), and this manifests into Mahiru crazy about relationships and love.

Kotoko/Scarlett – Has a close mindset to Es (close enough to stem more directly from them) but her intensity and drive for perfection/justice turn them into enemies in some timelines. She gets the closest look at the “real” situation compared to the others, seeing behind the scenes and criticizing Es and the Prison as a whole. She's determined she could do better herself, and Es takes her up on that…

—

I’m not going to make a whole post, but for a reverse au I think it’d be fun to see The House tenants featured in Charles’ milgram mv – as the focal character, the audience/Warden would probably assume Charlotte was his victim. Only later would they realize that Charlotte is the stand-in for himself, and that truly he feels responsible for not stopping Vincent’s suicide. 

[3416]

haven't listened to the anthology yet, but i do think her music is suffering from the sheer quantity she's putting out while doing all this other stuff tbh. feels more like an overproduced electronic cashgrab than real layered music despite some tortured lyrics. like ttpd the first half has such a sameness to over half of it.... and that sameness is tied to midnights too imo. i really wish i could experience the joy of albums like 1989/folklore/evermore and def her country earlier stuff but. she can be a lyric writing machine (she needs someone to veto some of it thoughnfjdkfjd feels like no one can tell her no) but not lean on the exact same production style for this long bc it's kinda getting old to me and i really do enjoy so much of her discography like 😭😭😭 idk. i know swifties are just gonna eat up whatever she does, and i've always been in between the absolute worshipping crowd and the absolute hater crowd but some of the music/production part is so uninspired.

[orcelito]

It is Now

My birthday 😌

I am now 27 💃

[fromtheseventhhell]

No offense but trans-masc/trans-man headcanons about Arya are so incorrect, I'm sorry. I can't even take them seriously considering this fandom's desire to separate Arya from girlhood/womanhood. I would love it if people would stop trying to divorce female characters (and real women) from their identities as women just because they aren't traditionally feminine.

If we're talking about actual good-faith interpretations, ones that actually work with how Arya is written, then trans-femme is a much better fit. Arya has never had the desire to be a boy or be seen as one, she is fiercely insistent on her identity as a girl and corrects people several times, she doesn't consider herself a "real" Lady because she's not one in the same way her mother and sister are (!!!), she has self-esteem issues from her looks and ability to perform feminine tasks, she actually spends time pretending to be a boy but never considers herself one or enjoys doing it, as time progresses she loses the ability to pass as a boy (!!!), etc. Look at the material!! There's so much there to discuss from that perspective! Arya's non-conformity and how that fits into a society with such strict gender norms is fascinating and there's a lot to discuss there, but calling her trans-masc is one of the laziest interpretations to come up with.

[bmpmp3]

(little bit of silence at the beginning because it wouldnt let me upload otherwise RIP) quick plug-and-play this-mix-is-ass-session-terminated type shoujo-a cover but (said in a hushed voice filled with wonderment and awe) soyogi........................................

(ust by Taketonbo)

[j-esbian]

i feel like there is so much to be said about drizzt do’urden’s religious views and how he’s a stand-in for culturally christian atheists. he grew up in a corrupt religious society and has religious trauma, so as a result he views all religion as bad. at first it seems like he’s going to have a “pagan finds jesus” story but he eventually rejects mielikki too, and imo, it always felt out of character that he followed her in the first place so i wasn’t surprised when he changed his mind. he was looking for a name to label his preexisting system of ideals, which feels very much like christians who claim “all that matters is that you live by the bible and live in a godly manner”. many religions are about teachings and traditions as much as they are about “just being a good person and following god’s vibes” (which i feel like is INCREDIBLY standard in american protestantism)

i think a lot of it comes down to the fact that the forgotten realms (and a lot of fantasy tbh) treats the gods as just Very Powerful People instead of the forces of nature personified (and again this is to be expected from a christian culture, where jesus was Just A Guy)

[depresseddepot]

I'm trying to find ways to slowly ease my way into taking walks (debilitating social anxiety) so I was going to download pokemon go again but my phone is too old :(

[aeide-thea]

poäng appreciation post 💛

[moneygoblin04]

I think I'm having some kind of anxiety attack?

[sheyshen]

Something I want to build on with vincent at some point is how much the years of being an adventurer has taken a toll on him. he spent so long just being angry at the world but as he gets closer and closer to carteneau he does start recognizing how reckless he's been and the mistakes he's made over the years. friendships (especially with layla and nhea) helping him get a little closer to how he used to be before finally stopping and trying to do better for himself when he loses his leg. and the fact that guilt has really solidified in him to still make him push himself in his healing rather than combat (though sometimes still pushing himself too far) and how the years of treating himself like a weapon have taken a toll on his mind (he has terrible nightmares that only a select few have been able to help him through it)

[gaypirate]

anyway here's a trick i've learned recently

when people are trying to schedule me an appointment at a drs offices they always act frustrated when i say i can't do early morning appointments. i've always operated under 'don't explain yourself, just ask for what you need' as a principle with this sort of thing, but at some point when a nurse kept pushing me for an earlier appointment i just told her the truth, that it's because i have a diabetic cat and need to watch over him in the mornings, and suddenly she was a LOT more sympathetic. so i've been doing this ever since, and there's been like, 0 pushback on it

i'm assuming the normal frustration is because they think that i just can't wake up in the morning, which is a bullshit reason to be frustrated with a patient, but welp.

so there's an excuse you can try out if you're not a morning person. just tell them you have a sick pet

[starrytalking]

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now but it’s okay to struggle. You don’t have to have your “life under control” right now. No matter your age and if it seems like everyone else is doing oh so well (believe me, there’s others who struggle as well!), it’s okay to still figure things out and feel like a complete mess. You still have time to grow as a person and find out what works for you and how you want to live your life. Be forgiving with yourself, I know it’s hard but you deserve rest and compassion from yourself!