#it will destroy me like nothing else

[mimic-of-hysy]

me: *laying in my bed, knowing very fucking well that i am not mentally stable enough to watch the current bnha season yet bc of all the shit that happens to keigo, but also desperately wanting to watch it bc i want to hear him in new scenes so badly, even though one scene in particular will crush me bc even seeing it in the manga made me spiral for months* well,,, maybe i could watch it,,, ya know,,, for science

[benevolenterrancy]

("Always. Continuously. With increasing apprehension, and decreasing hope. I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday. I will love you as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this." -- paraphrased from The Beatrice Letters, Lemony Snicket)

[agalychnisspranneusroseus]

Amphibia is proof that the best character writing tip is to make everyone at least a little bit problematic

[magpie-trove]

There’s something fundamentally kind of. sick? In the atmosphere of Buffy, but the characters manage to exist as goods in it despite it all, and maybe that’s what feels sick about it (sick as in ill, or not whole). It seems like all the bigger things are evil and all the original and fundamental things are bad and the only thing standing against them is a few people who shouldn’t have to. And are too small to. It’s about the crushing weight of responsibility without the relief of it being just a part of something bigger.

[swordheld]

hi! your blog is one of my favourites and i absolutely adore reading your thoughts. my grandfather recently passed away and it feels like i lost myself with him. how do i continue living after this? there is this constant weight on my chest and it feels like an emptiness has made a home inside of me. how do i go on when it feels like the world crashed on my shoulders?

hello, love! this is so very sweet and kind of you, and i hope you're treating yourself gently and kindly right now - there aren't words for a loss like this. that heaviness is difficult, and hard, and painful. it's okay if things don't feel okay, right now, or even soon - i think that's something that a lot of the people i know that have gone through similar grief feel: like they should be able to get back to a relative 'normal' in a [insert far too short period of time].

but it's okay if it hurts. that's where i'd like to start. you're allowed to feel that emptiness, that world-crashed feeling that goes beyond words, beyond time. don't feel like you have to rush this to feel some sort of better. things get easier with time, i promise you this, but sometimes painful feelings are important to feel, too. cry, scream, feel your emotions. they're a part of you. grieve.

it's perhaps a little silly, but when i think about death i always think about a couple of space songs: mainly drops of jupiter by train and saturn by sleeping at last. there are perhaps others that speak to the emotions better, but these two have always hit something a little deeper for me, and are popular for a wide-reaching reason.

and while personally i don't know much about grief like this, i do know a lot about love; and i think they're a lot of the same thing.

the people we love are a part of us, and this is why it takes from us so deeply when we lose them, because it does feel like we've lost a part of ourselves in the wake of it. but it's because they were so central to our experiences of living - our lives, that the separation introduces a hollowness - a place where they used to be. a home that now goes unlived in.

an emptiness, like you said.

but just because they're not here physically, doesn't mean he's not still there, in your heart, in your life, your memory. you can hold him close in smaller ways, as well: steal a sweater, or cologne/scent for something a little more physical and long lasting for remembering. hold onto the memories you cherish, the things that made you laugh, the ease of slow mornings and gentle nights. write them all down, slide a few photographs in there, go through it and add more when you miss him. keep them all close, keep them in your heart.

you're not alone, in this. he's still there, with you, it's just - in the little things.

he's with you in the way you see and go about your daily life, in doing what he liked to do, in the ways he interacted with the world that you shared with him. the memories you recall fondly when the night is late or the moment is right and something calls it into you like a melody, an old bell, laughter you'd recognize anywhere.

but i think, perhaps most importantly above all others - talk about him. with your family, your friends, his friends, strangers; stories are how we keep the people we love alive. the connections they've made, the legacies and experiences they've left behind, and so, so many stories.

how lucky, we are - to love so much it takes a piece of us when they go. grief is the other side of the coin, but it does not mean our love goes away. it lives in you. it lives in everyone who knew him, in the smallest pieces of our lives.

the people we love never really leave us, like this: they're in how we cook and the way we fold our newspapers, our laundry, in the radio stations we tune in to and the way we decorate our walls, our photo albums. they're in the way we store our mail, organize our closets, the scribbled notes in the indexes of our books. the meals we love and the drinks we mix, the way we spend time with one another. they've been passed down for generations, for longer than history - and we are all the luckier for it.

think about what you shared with him, and do it intentionally. bring him into your life, like this, again. whether it's crosswords or poetry or sports or anything else. if one doesn't help, try another. something might click.

i hope things feel a little easier for you, as they tend to do only with time. i hope you find joy in your grief, even if it is small and hard to grasp at first. know that your hurt stems from so much love that there isn't a place to put it properly, and that it is something so meaningful and hurting poets and storytellers have been struggling to put it into words and sounds that feel like the fit right for eons, and that it is also just simply yours. sometimes things don't have to make sense. sometimes they just are - unable to be put into words or neat little sentiments, as unfair and tragic as they come.

but i promise it will not feel like this forever. your love is real. and perhaps, on where to begin on from here - i think it's less on finding where to begin and just beginning. and you've already started. you've taken the most important and crucial step: the first one. wherever you go, after that, from here? you'll figure it out. you always have, and you always do. it'll come, as things always do. love leads us, as does light - and you're never alone in your hurt. in your grief, your missing something dear to you. i think if you talk about it with others, you'll find they have ways of helping you cope as well - and they have so much love of their own to spare, too.

as an aside, here is the song (northern star by dom fera) i was listening to when i wrote this, for no other reason more than it makes me think of connections, and love, and how we hold onto the people we love and how they change us, wonderfully and intrinsically. it's a little more joyous than the others i've mentioned, and plays like a story, and it made me think of what is at the core of this, love and stories and i am here with you, and maybe it'll bring you some joy, if you'd like it. wishing you all my love and ease 💛

[piratefishmama]

Say it with me now:

Despite the fact that Eleven is most definitely not able to destroy a dimension, The Upside Down is a mirror dimension to the Right Side Up, so much so that things happening in the upside down, ACTUALLY REFLECT on the Right Side Up (lights flickering etc), and as such cannot be destroyed without potentially catastrophic results to the Right Side Up.

It is by all evidence shown, the CLOSEST parallel dimension to the kids, destroying it, could potentially unravel whatever's holding the kids dimension together killing everyone and everything inside of it.

You cannot destroy an entire dimension without catastrophic side effects to surrounding dimensions. ESPECIALLY if that dimension MIRRORS yours.

It just needs to be sealed off.

[rubberduckyrye]

You guys ever think about the tragedy that is Junko Enoshima? That she wasn't a sadistic girl seeking out to hurt others for sadistic glee?

Because everything Junko did was her trying to emotionally abuse herself? That she wanting to feel something so badly that she hurt the people she loved most, and even brought about ruin to the world, simply to destroy herself with it?

[m0e-ru]

it sucks that p4's final antagonist had to be a woman. it sucks that p4's final antagonist had to be trans. it sucks that p4's final antagonist had to have an ambiguous gender identity. it sucks that p4's final antagonist had to be inhuman. it sucks.

[tamagotchikgs]

why couldnt my parents have just raised me as a human. why did they have to Leave me. why couldnt they have socialized me why couldnt i have gone to school n had real life experiences why couldnt i have had friends n been dumb n silly when it didnt matter why do i have to be so broken and untrained and everything have so many consequences why dont i get to get to do things for the first time with everyone else why do i have to be here . and the worst. having to have the weight of everything i do be so heavy because what if im bad at it. what if i disgust the only thing i have. what if i lose it all because of what i am . why does everything have to be so scary and hurt so much

[captain-hawks]

IT’S HERE IT’S HERE 😭. i can’t believe umi e is finally a real song.

[monards]

i fear that i don’t acknowledge enough the fact that i KNOW rhinedottir's evil !!! and she's horrible !!! and that she's wholly ireedamable !!! i know and love and respect that fact !!! i'd shoot myself in the frontal lobe if hoyo made her out to NOT be wholly evil !!!! but the reason i always go on and on and on about her humanity and complexity is because. SHE IS ALWAYS DUMBED DOWN !!!! TO JUST THAT !!!! it's literally the greatest and most moving theme (IN MY OPINION!!!) in genshin, that human beings are COMPLEX !!!! and they're MORE than just evil or bad or wtv. we see this through every character to almost ever be introduced to us -> literally just take arlecchino as an example. if anyone was at all paying attention to the discourse around her when the fontaine teaser dropped (and. 4.0 in general) it was the BIGGEST thing to watch people argue between "she's a harbinger, so she's clearly the most evil and the big antagonist of fontaine because of these accounts we have right now !!" versus the argument of "we've only seen ONE perspective of her so far, and it's no duh that all this stuff sucks -- but there's no way she's JUST gonna be all these horrible things,, because literally nobody to exist is just horrible and cruel with zero to no good in them. and also that'd make a shit narrative by hoyo in a story driven game" AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENED !!!! we saw !!! in REAL time !!! that while arlecchino was rightfully cruel and horrible and, yes the things she did were fucked up beyond belief and she should absolutely not be excused for any of it - she is NOT just evil ! she's shown to care, albeit in a fucked up way that only shows she's even more deranged ; but what's so incredibly important about her is the way that her being "evil" doesn't mean she's incapable of anything else. She is evil, yes— but so many of those evil actions have *motives* and *reasons* that explain them (but not excuse or condone!) and, although they don’t save her grace or anything of the sort, they DO show her true character. AND YHATS SO IMPORTANT!!!! She’s capable of being an antagonist while still being justified in some form, and given nuance and backstory and redeemable traits

I am !!! NEVER !!! going to say rhinedottir is a good person. she isn't! no shit sherlock ! how the fuck do you think im gonna go on and ignore the fact she sent both her kids to their deaths, and also fed one to another. dare i say, that is NOT anything good !!! suprise of the century !! woah !!! -- but what i AM gonna say is that she's much beyond that? hello !! not only has the point of her having not a zero good trait or will in her body been. proven false over and over and over again. but it's such ! Sad and not compelling is character choice for her *not* to be nuanced and complex and justified in a fucked up !! — like do you REALLY think hoyoverse (who is clearly capable of, and likes to make) complex characters, who are horrible, while not being *only* those horrible things, would pass up a golden (haha) opportunity to make a characters whose entire existence is JUST that??!,!2????

believe what you want! Do what you want! This is a silly video game that will be eroded along with time in a hundred in so years ! But god so help me, please don’t be willfully ignorant to the complexity and nuance of characters, just because you want a villain. No villain , real or not, is entirely evil. People are complex and multi faceted and people really, really need to hop off this cart of going “okay but stop saying she’s multifaceted because it takes away from her being evil” because it DOESNT! If anything, it makes her so much more compelling . Which is something some people can apparently. Not handle.

[dangerliesbeforeyou]

just unfollowed an artist on bsky for a shit ass take and like yeh it's kinda petty but i'm in a bad fucking mood & seeing artists do the whole 'look at me being holier than thou not selling prints of my fanart because i Value The Creators' makes me so pissed off like shut the fuck up lol fanartists making literally pennies from selling their stuff online or at cons or whatever doesn't take shit away from the original creators get the fuck over yourself jfc

[i3utterflyeffect]

in the middle of the day i will stop and think. wow, alan becker really chose to make victim fucked up like that. damn.

FOR REAL. HONESTLY IT'S SO GREAT. impeccable choice honestly. could not have chosen better myself tbh

[fedoraspooky]

Replying to this here so it doesn't get lost in the other person's post but aw man I hope it turns up for you someday. ;w; I probs woulda loved to see that drawing of ST1X regardless of how confident you felt about it but I understand, I often got nervous drawing fanart for other people too. Also it's sad to lose old art, I've lost a ton of notebook drawings and loose leaf printer paper art from my late teens/early 20s because 1) I moved around a lot in my life so a lotta stuff got shuffled around and 2) there's SO MUCH STUFF I never posted. OCs that I maybe drew once or twice, beta versions of what would eventually become a few of the characters I currently have, one-off drawings I made on a whim or because I was bored in class...

I think it was because at the time, back on dA, it got to the point where there were so many eyes on my work that I got scared if people would like something or not, or if a piece was 'finished-looking' enough, and it was kinda paralyzing... so there were years where I would post maybe a fraction of what I drew. x_x In hindsight I was deffo overthinking it, but that's hindsight for ya.

I know some of it's still around somewhere, probably in an old banker box in storage, but other drawings got destroyed for sure because I carried them around in a notebook too much and the graphite smudged off from the paper rubbing together. It's sad to think about, but at least that was only a small number of drawings before I made an effort to clean out my notebooks of loose paper more often. .w.

I'm a lot more careful with my drawings now and make backups of backups (my webcomic is backed up in at least 5 different ways right now!) but idk... maybe if I can dig up some of my old paper drawings one day I'll post 'em or something, might be fun.

[sualne]

Heyo, you've mentioned that in your AU Crocodile isn't going to try to destroy Alabasta, so I was wondering if his end goal is still Utopia but he's going to try other methods or if he has a complete different end goal?

im thinking his main goal is to secure a safe future for luffy, this version of croc started baroque works and his schemes after luffy was born, so if he's aiming for a utopia of sort it'll mostly be for his kid.

[luridparty]

FUCK!!!!!! WHY IS TALKING TO PEOPLE SO FUCKIGN HARD!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

urghuehrueguh weughh nono i know why thats the worst part. .. no mary lore but euuu wehhh wauughhh