#death is only the end if you assume the story is about you // headcanon.

[sacrificialarrow]

Headcanon: Spirits and Evolution.

Spirits are a fascinating subject, because they're vastly more complex than most of Thedas give them credit for -- but in fairness, Nevarrans aren't in that group, bc they so routinely and without prejudice interact with spirits that they've learned a great deal about them. As echoes of the real world, spirits are usually born of strong emotions mirrored in places or people.

That said, 'demon' isn't really an applicable term until you get into the ideation of intent. Spirits are inclined to mirror in action the emotion they're born of, but the actions themselves may still be neutral in nature. A spirit of grief may linger at burial sites and imbue passers by with the feeling of mourning for a lost loved one just as easily as it might be inclined towards actively trying to incite genuine grief in the mortals it comes across. It all depends upon personality and experiences, and thus, even the same types of spirits are nearly as different and varied as people are.

The more a spirit learns and experiences, the more its mind expands from a more basal form towards full sentience. They're sort of like children in that way, except that you can begin influencing and or teaching a spirit things from the moment it's born, and how quickly they advance is dependent upon how they're taught and what, as well as individual learning curves. Some spirits simply cannot grow beyond a certain point, while others can reach the peaks of mortal intelligence.

Another thing of important note is that spirits are capable of evolving from one emotion to another, and it's not necessarily a linear path. How they change depends upon the circumstances that cause their change in the first place. Given the right circumstances, and depending on the way an individual responds to them, a spirit of valor has the ability to become a spirit of fear, then rage, then perhaps joy. They're sort of like emotional sponges, although they are somewhat less likely to be influenced the more intelligent they are -- though none are ever immune.

In terms of Solas, he began life as a spirit of empathy. Becoming a corporeal person and fighting in the Titan War changed him into a spirit of valor, as reflected by his then classification as a warrior and reaver. His next change was more gradual, and thanks to the way his people were treated, he became a spirit of cunning rebellion, and thus his class became a rogue. ( Mind you, he's used magic the entirety of his life, it's just a matter of what method he prefers to fight with at any given time. ) Over time, he uses magic for his fighting more and more until he doesn't typically use a blade anymore.

His sense of mischief is something that has been a part of his personality all his life, and has really only taken on new facets as he's grown, which does branch out to include deceit as well. As has his pride, which ironically isn't why he was given his name as a young spirit, and has been greatly influenced by learned necessary independence. In his earliest days, he would have been somewhat like a cat, in terms of his pride trait showing.

Solas' life started like most spirits, coming into existence in the forests of what would become Arlathan. His birth came from one of the titans molding the earth around a wolf pack to help them thrive, and so his earliest days were spent among the pack he was born from. ( And for the record, since Elgar'nan likes to boast about his age, Solas isn't any younger than he is. He simply took to an elven body much later. ) As the elves came into existence, his curiosity about them grew, eventually to the point of following them out of the forest and to their village. Incidentally, the leader of this village was Mythal, who came to deal with the mischief the giant wolf spirit was causing. Though she may have wrestled him into submission, he took a liking to her, and kept returning to seek her out. Thus, he eventually becomes one of the spirits that she takes beneath her wing and nurtures into sentience.

Consequently, that's why Solas thinks of her as his mother, and why you will take a -100 friendship buff if you ever so much as imply they were romantically involved.

It is of note, though, that the particular label of their relationship didn't come until much later, when Solas was himself an elf and had spent time among the later generations who had been born as elves. Because before that, any notion of a 'parent' is completely alien to him.

[ozzgin]

Yandere! Yokai Harem Headcanons

Meet your (6) monster boyfriends!

Since the story will take a while to unfold, I decided to speed things up and properly introduce you to the characters. A little time skip to Reader becoming an onmyōji herself and renewing the bonds with the yokai men, this time at their request. They cannot bear the thought of separating from their darling and since she has reneged her life as a regular human being, someone has to keep her company. And so the days are spent exorcising evil spirits both in modern and feudal Japan, with a pack of demons following close behind.

[Main story] [Character Guide]

Content: female reader, monster smut, NSFW, obsessive behavior, reader is a monster hoe again but feigns mild reluctance

Kiritsubo

Kiritsubo is your very first yokai encounter and he almost immediately falls for you. He's always been at the receiving end of his master's wrath for not being able to use his powers, so much that even after Nakamaro’s ‘death’ he couldn’t sleep without being plagued by horrid nightmares. His back is covered in thick scars from the frequent punishments. You first begun to suspect his background when you jumped in to protect him from an incoming blow and he froze in terror, unable to look up and awaiting the anticipated discipline.

Needles to say that when he learns you're not like the previous onmyōji he becomes extremely clingy and needy. He can only rest if you're next to him and will often hug you for reassurance. You've shared a bed before there was any hint of romance, simply because he found your presence so soothing. That's not to say he relies on you for everything. In fact, he unlocks his nearly unmatched abilities purely out of his desire to protect you. He’s found his purpose in serving you, someone who showed him kindness when he needed it most.

As you go out into the world, he begins to question his exact feelings for you. An example of his intense musings: he's asked you, perplexed, whether he can kiss you like the people he's seen on the street. He's spent his entire life being trained by Abe no Nakamaro, so he struggles to understand how relationships work. He will be utterly oblivious to other people flirting with him (it happens every now and then, he is a handsome demon after all), but simultaneously worry that everyone is out to have you. He’s already very salty about the other yokai joining your side and will frequently remind them he was the first to accept you.

When you complete your transition as an onmyōji, the priestess warns you that you may no longer partake in any kind of bonding with your fellow humans. Kiritsubo, seated next to you, responds almost instantly with eyes sparkling in excitement: "Well, that doesn’t extend to yokai, does it? I can still make you my wife.”

Kiritsubo is very clumsy when being intimate with you for the first time, but it doesn’t take long for him to become rather addicted to the feeling. You often have to scold him to behave and in return he’ll be pouting and fidgeting until you finally give in to his pleading gaze. He’s very vocal and touchy and will leave you covered in scratches from all the pulling. Towards the end he’s a drooling mess, mumbling about how much he loves you and begging you to never, ever leave him.

Murasaki

Murasaki is very cold and sarcastic on the surface, but you soon realize he is the most caring and responsible of the group, always looking out for everyone and trying to keep them out of trouble. In fewer words, he's almost like a tsundere mother hen (he won't hesitate to put you in a headlock if you mention it, though). He goes along with your wishes and will politely listen to anything you tell him, but to others he remains stoic and even rude. You’re sometimes reminded of the preferential treatment when witnessing his aggressive way of dealing with his suitors, shooing them away with the utmost disgusted scowl.

“Huh? Why can’t I be nicer to others? Bold of you to assume my tolerance is not, in fact, a limited resource spent entirely on dealing with you.”

He's been your guardian from the day you met him. He taught you how to use a sword and how to properly cast spells and seems to have a solution for all your troubles. When you introduced the yokai to the modern world you assumed he'd struggle to adapt, but he was extremely quick to learn and is, to this day, accumulating knowledge at a dizzying pace. One wouldn't be able to tell him apart from a regular city dweller. Murasaki is the concrete definition of a jack of all trades, excelling in whatever he sets his mind on.

Given his status and skills, the other yokai have always been rather jealous of him, including Kiritsubo. Ironically enough, by the time Murasaki accepted his infatuation towards you, you'd already gotten close to Kiritsubo. Which resulted in a lot of unexplained jealous bouts from a yokai too prideful to admit he loves you just as much. (You eventually get him to confess and reach the agreement to distribute the wealth among workers.)

He will occasionally be in a good enough mood to share with Kiritsubo, but it frequently results in a bizarre competition between them as you awkwardly squirm underneath, overstimulated. More often he prefers to pull you aside after you've done the deed with another yokai and aggressively fuck you as a way to assert his dominance. "Oh, was he that good? Then why are you moaning much louder now?" He'll demand with a firm grasp around your throat. Sadly his extreme competitiveness extends to this area as well.

Suma

Among the yokai, Suma is the most easygoing one despite his intimidating appearance. Most evenings he’ll have a drink in hand, eager to chitchat and ramble by the campfire, with his relaxed laughter resounding across the place. He is very loud and blunt and will often need to be reminded of the colossal power imbalance between him and regular humans and demons. Although after accidentally dislocating your shoulder (he was terribly amused by your joke and gave you a friendly pat), he’s gotten much better at adjusting the amount of force he uses, especially with you.

You’ve only witnessed him serious on two occasions: first one is a recurring event, when he’s training alone. When you’re together, he’s always in a merry mood, letting you try out moves and spells on him and frequently praising you even after failures. His whole demeanor changes when he’s by himself, swinging the spear with a calculated, focused gaze that remains unperturbed until the end of his session. The second case is when you get hurt. Now, he does encourage you to fight, and your confidence in battle is what caused him to fall head over heels in love with you. He will immediately put a stop to it, however, if the opponent ends up harming you. Seeing your lips curl in pain is enough to set him off and send him into a full blown rage.

Suma is destructive in all the ways you can think of. Given his massive size, as much as he’d love to, having his way with you is not something that can happen spontaneously. Borrowing his powers can of course help your frail body to not immediately tear apart, but depending on how much self control he has (or lack of), you might end up needing urgent healing from Sakaki. Suma will be extremely apologetic for nearly fucking you to death, but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy it. A more common approach is riding his hand, as one or two fingers are enough to make you dizzy. He’ll be satisfied just hearing your needy whimpers. He also adores watching you whenever you give him handjobs as your little, delicate hands struggle to hold onto him. You’re insignificant compared to him and yet you persevere, feisty and horny. His precious, tiny warrior.

Yuugiri

Yuugiri is by nature a manipulative, masterful liar, so it comes as no surprise that you had a hard time trusting him in the beginning. His habit of teasing you certainly didn’t help, as you could never tell whether he’s serious about something or not. Perhaps the greatest irony is that even when he tries to be honest, it comes out crooked. Such is the fate of a deceiving demon, although most people are only familiar with fox spirits. On his end, he loves that you’re so transparent and obvious, even occasionally naive. And so it took a lot of awkward pleading to convince you to renew a binding contract with him, given everyone was suspecting him of ulterior motives.

For Yuugiri, being part of such contract is the most vulnerable offering he could've given you as proof of his love. As your souls become connected, you can perceive his feelings in ways otherwise impossible to achieve. He willingly allowed you to be able to read his heart, and thankfully it worked. It was his last, desperate resort to get you to understand his affections. Do you finally see the earnest adoration he harbors for you?

He is the best choice if you're looking for a best friend to gossip with. He enjoys listening to your stories and pays great attention to every detail. He's also frighteningly vengeful, especially when it involves you. So if you ever complain about someone to him, know that he will remember it forever and will make sure to continuously get back at the offender in the worst possible ways and will only stop when you tell him to.

Now listen, I’m about to be quite crass but it is what it is: as a serpent demon he has a long, forked tongue and let’s just say everyone in the household can tell if he’s eating you out because it will be loud. It will be followed by the walk of shame, when you eventually have to come out of the room red-faced and sore-legged, with Yuugiri donning a devilish grin for the rest of the day. You always swear to keep it in next time, but within moments you’re tightly gripping onto his horns, mumbling his name in a feverish, drunken haze. Naturally, he can read you like an open book and this truth stands for more intimate matters as well. Leave it to Yuugiri to know what his darling likes best.

Sekiya

Sekiya has been fascinated with you from the moment you stepped into the ancient Tomb. To see the anxious, quiet Kiritsubo happily wag his tail after you and the stern, irritable Murasaki readily at your service…It was a sight most unfamiliar to him and he wondered how a mere human like you managed to whip them into this kind of submission. He refused to believe you’d be stronger than Abe no Nakamaro himself, yet after the battle - from which you emerged victorious - it suddenly occurred to him that it wasn’t fear or obedience coming from the two yokai companions. Just honest, unadulterated love. He felt his chest tighten with envy, all the resentment of being sealed in with an evil, hateful sorcerer finally erupting its way to the surface.

So when you offered him and Sakaki to join you (��What else is left to do among these ruins?”), he couldn’t agree fast enough. To think he, too, could be spoiled with the affections of someone like you. On the other hand, Sekiya is an insecure, nervous wreck of an overthinker and he felt like he couldn’t offer anything worthy in return. He’s a demon that casts barriers. Nothing more, nothing less. He doesn’t have Murasaki’s genius, or Kiritsubo’s raw power, or Suma’s brute strength…What use could you possibly find in him? Hence the constant need for reassurance. He will need you to pull him out of his melancholy every now and then, just a small nudge from the savior he so worships.

It’s an extremely rare occurrence, but Sekiya can get cheeky if his ego is stroked properly. So, for example, he’ll take advantage of the fact you’re both alone in the modern world and show you the handy usage of his barriers: a crowded intersection overflowing with people, and yet no one can see him greedily thrusting into you right in the middle of everything. It’s the high of sprawling you out in public without actually being seen. It’s also one of the reasons you no longer take him furniture shopping. Last time you asked him to help you pick a new table from Ikea and were confused by his requirement of it being “high enough”. Before you could ask for further explanations, the immediate vicinity started twirling into a blur and his heavy arm bent you over the surface. “Let me demonstrate”, he purred in your ear. Sure, no one saw you dripping with his cum, nonetheless scanning the items with your clenched legs and deep crimson face was humiliating enough.

Sakaki

Despite his gift to heal and revive, Sakaki is a terribly miserable demon, often plagued by gloom and death. He is especially receptive to negative emotions, and given your souls are connected, he is the first to detect any change in your mood. (You had to learn to block out the persistent throb of jealousy that tugs at your heart whenever the yokai is particularly insecure.) He takes great pride in the fact that he can understand your sadness better than anyone. The second you feel down, he’ll be right behind you: “Worry not, we shall suffer together. Such is the fate of lovers.”

The first time he joined you back into the modern world, you’ve perhaps mistakenly introduced him to classic literature you assumed he’d like. He indeed became infatuated with authors like Poe, Baudelaire, Rimbaud, Shelley, Hoffmann. For the first time in his long life, Sakaki felt understood, and you’re glad to have played a role in his new interest. Yet you can’t help the shivers running down your spine whenever you become the target of his overflowing, renewed inspiration. Grim, ghastly paintings, deplorably obsessive poems…You’ve unleashed an authentic Romantic poet whose only muse is you.

He’s a master of eerie awkwardness, more so now that he has access to modern entertainment. You were excited when he asked you out on a picnic date, only to discover you’ve been taken to a foggy graveyard. He enthusiastically explained his choice: you can scout burial plots in case one of you dies (he’ll die with you, no worries), it is a stunning reminder that his love for you is eternal, and you might even find potential names if you ever want children. Another time, when you rented a boat during a sunny day at the lake, he cheerfully wondered how you’d look if you were to drown (still as beautiful as ever, he’s certain). Ah, but he does not dwell on dark things only. He recently took you to see the famous Cirque du Soleil and he was equally mesmerized by all the light and colors. It was Corteo: the story of a funeral cortège for a clown.

Sakaki does not like sharing and prefers to hang out with you alone, without the other demons. In fact, he’ll spend the day holed up in his room, writing or painting, or go out on lone walks if he knows you’re messing around with someone. He’d rather not hear anything that would cause him turmoil. The only exception is Sekiya, as they spent decades in isolation together within the sealed Tomb, and they both share a similar lack of confidence. In this case he won’t mind laying you on him and offering the above position to his friend, or casually joining your fun if he sees you together with Sekiya.

[doctorbunny]

A little speculation about Corpse Disposal and J-horror

But I'm a little bored so sharing a part-theory, part-headcanon on Muu and Rei

So we unfortunately don't see much of Rei in "Its not my fault" but I want to point out three key times we do

The first time we see Rei in the MV, is her wet sleeve (we know its not Muu because Muu wears a pink jumper under her blazer)

Then, after a lot of bug stuff, we're finally back in the real world, where Muu has just killed her Post-After Pain. In INMF, we don't see the surroundings as well, just the dirt track and bushes. But in AP, we see this is right next to a rushing river (Muu's undercover card also features a bridge as a landmark)

The next time we see Rei after her corpse, is a flashback to the start where she turns the hourglass over. Then it cuts just further back to before Rei stood up - as she pulls herself up off the floor She's alive and absolutely soaked after a session of intense bullying (which we saw Muu insert herself into in AP)

However, I want to now switch a little to talk about cinematography and a concept called the Kuleshov effect The video I linked is pretty concise but the gist is that if you put two shots next to each other, even if they were filmed separately, the brain interprets it as a continuous scene (so if you film a character looking off screen, then a picture of an apple on a table, we're going to assume they're looking at the apple)

Therefore while we understand chronologically that the sequence of events is Rei (wet and alive) -> Rei's murder on dry land ↺ Flashback to Rei still wet and alive Which I think everyone understood as a commentary on how this power struggle was a constant cycle of the hourglass being turned over

I think visually, it also implies a sequence like Rei was bullied -> Muu kills her -> Sopping wet, Rei crawls back to the classroom

But wait! That sequence suggests a missing step How did Rei get wet again?

Well, we know Muu killed her next to a river And if you were a scrawny teenage murderer with a body on your hands, would you leave it there where someone could see it while you grab a shovel and stand in broad daylight digging a hole in tough ground??? Or try lighting a fire in public??? Of course not!

It'd be much easier for Muu to, in a panic, just roll her body into the convenient river and let all the evidence wash away!

(Of course, if Muu was panicking, she might not have been very careful. Given she ended up in MILGRAM, there must've been something tying Muu to Rei's death and in T2 Muu seems to have finally remembered losing her left shoe...)

Fun fact: this is the same shoe Cinderella loses in the animated Disney film (and the best known version of that story came into English from France)

Shoe break over, back to the Endless Queen's Game

So, if we assume Rei's corpse was thrown in the river, what does it matter? Its just a pointless headcanon

But I speculate the meaning goes deeper!

So that image of Rei, soaking wet, crawling off the floor reminded me of something: J-horror ghost girls! Specifically the most famous of ghost girls Samara/Sadako Who became a vengeful spirit after being thrown in a well and now crawls out of TVs to kill people who watched her VHS tape

Her story too is a cyclical one (its called 'Ring' for a reason), the only way to break the curse is to copy the tape and have someone else watch it, who will then become the victim unless they can themselves copy the tape and show it to another unsuspecting patsy

The story goes back further because this movie is based on a novel, which is based on the legend of 番町皿屋敷 Banchou Sara Yashiki. There are many versions but generally a maid girl Okiku is proposed to, and when she rejects the proposal, her master breaks one of ten plates and promises to forgive her if she marries him. When she declines again, he beats her to near death then throws her into a well (sometimes it's a jealous mistress instead of a master)

Interestingly, Atrophaneura alcinous (swallowtail butterfly) larvae found in Japanese wells became known as Okikumushi お菊虫 (Okiku bugs), tying back to the whole insect thing...

It's been said a bunch now, but the name 'Rei' can be read as 霊 meaning ghost (seen in words like Yuurei 幽霊, a more common word for ghost than Rei on its own)

We know Muu is afraid of ghosts too (though I must admit she says Obake, not yuurei, but both words refer to ghosts)

Remembers the i/井 in Sakurai/櫻井 can be read as 'well' I'm sure that has nothing to do with anything

Uh, I can't think of a conclusion because its 1 am and I had to look up a bunch of spooky images

TL;DR: I think Muu may have quickly shoved Rei's body into the river next to where the murder happened (maybe forgot her shoe at the scene of the crime) and now she's scared by the cycle continuing and Rei coming back to haunt her

[shadowgast-recs-weekly]

Older Favorites 8: A Shadowgast Rec List

This week we have the eighth edition of older favourite fics, check under the cut for 19 fics that were uploaded or last updated more than two years ago! Don't forget to comment and kudos if you enjoy them

when will these two wizards kiss already by allmadeofstardust (13590, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

A series of canon divergent episodes, exploring potential first kisses the wizards might've had in the final episodes of C2.

Reccer says: Back when C2 was finishing up, I always looked forward to this series updating XD it was a really fun way to feed the beast that spent every one of those last episodes waiting for a Shadowgast kiss to happen. And the ending of the series is really lovely too.

Like 80/20 on the Kinsey Scale by jakia (2772, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: None

Caleb sleeps with Essek and panics about his sexuality. A story about friendship and identity.

Reccer says: I liked it!

By the Light by MoonwalkingCrab (31993, Mature) Reccer's Content Notes: Choose Not to Warn, Major Character Death, Temporary Character Death

After not hearing from the Nein for months and assuming he had been forgotten, Essek receives a plea from the Nein to help save Caleb. Canon-Compliant until e88!

Reccer says: I Love love LOVE this fic. I came into the fandom right at the end of C2 and have read many really good pre-97 fics - This one is probably my absolute favorite. AMAZING Essek characterization, really nailed the loneliness at his core, I love the take and the headcanons! Also also, while this is absolutely a Shadowgast fic, this is also very much an Essek & The Nein fic. Every interaction is amazing, love the level of detail, adore the pacing, just a really good and soft and well rounded fic!!

in the times in between by jakia (8098, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: mention of miscarriage

While refining a spell, Caleb spends a few days accidentally visiting his parents over the course of a decade and a half. Essek helps the final time.

Reccer says: Kind and sweet, plus excellent mom behavior from Una at the end.

infinity in the palm of your hand by mousecookie (5752, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: Major Character Death, Temporary Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence

Alternate ending to e116 - The Mighty Nein find a rusted iron door in Aeor, as well as the fallen body of one Essek Thelyss.

Reccer says: Really well/solidly written, with an *amazing* twist that I did NOT see coming - Very good emotions, very good characterizations, just an all-round lovely read written during the fandom's 'When will Essek return from the war?' phase X3 Also also I just ADORE the title!

only code it knows is rote survival by Chrome (12637, Mature) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

In a world where Trent makes it back to Eiselcross before the Nein do, Essek spends a night under the effects of the Feeblemind spell. Caleb undertakes a duty of care, and the Nein learn how Essek feels about them beneath everything.

Reccer says: Wonderful characters and lovely writing!

like coloured indigo inscribed with my name by KmacKatie (30648, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

An exploration of tradition, culture, what is worth sacrificing in finding yourself and family.

Reccer says: I think about this fic a lot. The highs, the lows, the sweetness, the angst. It's existed in the back of my mind for so long that it's kind of hard to describe the particulars of why I love it; I just do. I love the snapshots into Essek and the Nein's lives; the moment in Chapter 4 when the wizards kiss stands out to me as an example of that. The heartache of Chapters 6 and 7 is so well done; the strings of unanswered texts (and Essek's deleted replies) at the end of 6 and "I can’t eat soup without thinking of you." in particular (ESPCIALLY the latter) have stuck with me for years. Essek showing up at Caleb's birthday party after everything... there are tears in my eyes as I am typing this. I just love all of it so much, but the angst in particular really left a mark. And I love the ending so much too. All of it is just iconic and wonderful. To end on a lighter note, shout-out to the remark about Deirta and kumquats, which surfaced in my psyche recently after being dormant in there for so long XD

a certain future by wristpockets (26997, Mature) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Essek keeps trying to outwit The Mighty Nein, and gets stuck in a time loop trying to do so. He's trying to befriend them now, trying to earn their trust, but that's only because it's his best option... right?

Reccer says: While the Shadowgast is a relatively minor aspect of the story, it's a great character study.

Echoes by MithrilWren (1759, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: Choose Not to Warn

“Essek finds himself... unsettled by Caleb's new telepathic powers.“

Reccer says: Shadowgast, but with some Somnovem interference! This fic is short, but it packs a punch! I still get a shiver down my spine thinking about the ending.

Somewhere Just for Us by bluebirdsongs (12835, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Caleb takes Essek on a date to the version of the dance hall that lives on the Tower's 8th floor.

Reccer says: This is one of my all-time favorite Shadowgast fics, hands down. It is incredibly tender and sweet, with so many layers of emotion. The concept is brilliant and so well executed. I love Caleb introducing Essek to Zemnian cuisine and this fic is 100% the reason for it. And the flirting and the banter and the DANCING. There's a moment when they're dancing that made me yell in delight when I first read it back in 2021 and I still adore it. And the ending!!! Augh, it's all just so heartfelt. It deserves all the love in the world. (Also, it never fails to make me crave a preztel)

russet inconveniences by marleybone (7328, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Essek needs a roommate and finds one in Caleb Widogast.

Reccer says: You know a fic is good when you think you've submitting reccs and then you remember the title and immediately have to go pull it up to recc too XD this one is just so fun!!! Caleb is a menace of a roommate and I love that that never stops, even as Essek realizes he's got feelings. The tag "minor inconveniences to lovers" is fantastic XD

Unspoken Love by marsmystic (4187, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

“ Caleb and Essek return to Aeor together. A relationship develops. Or was it already there?”

Reccer says: This fic sparks joy! Wizards being besties!! Essek and Caleb’s relationship is so sweet in this. It really highlights how the romantic aspects of it stem from their friendship, which is one of my favorite flavors of shadowgast.

The Mind and The Malady by SaltCore (38945, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: Graphic Depictions of Violence

There is a remedy for his illness, of course. There is always a way to unwind magic, but there is always a price. The cost of Essek’s life, now that he’s contracted Hanahaki’s disease, can be paid two ways—one is higher than Essek can bear and the other, well. The other can only be paid by someone else.

Reccer says: Beautifully written and wonderful worldbuilding! Always a fav to reread!

some things time can't fix by Chrome (25930, Mature) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Essek is arrested for treason. The Dynasty severs the daemons of prisoners before executing them so they can’t be reborn.

Reccer says: Daemon au! This fic made me feel so many emotions

Like a Steel Trap by kaeda (12519, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Essek is very much into Caleb's keen mind.

Reccer says: Wizards loving wizards for wizardly reasons!

a mirror to the sky by renquise (7432, Mature) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Essek shows up on Caleb's doorstep in the bitter cold of winter and shows him something private

Reccer says: Self bondage fic my beloved! The tension between the two is so good!

To Mourn a Mischief by toneofjoy (81716, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

It's an Ever After-inspired AU with magic, where Caleb is trapped with Ikithon but ends up wooing Essek. Follows the plot of Ever After but has some good twists and turns!

Reccer says: The writing gives that fairy-tale feel, and though it follows the plot of Ever After, it's different enough to be exciting. Also love the surprise guests near the end, and the Jester/Essek and Caleb/Beau friendships are so good!

The following two fics each received two recs:t

(your face in my hands is) everything good i need by mllekurtz (TheKnittingJedi) (25884, Mature) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

The last person Caleb Widogast, Professor of Modern History, expects to find as he walks in a random pub in a foreign city at the end of a long conference is Dr. Essek Thelyss, eminent Latinist and his sort-of intellectual crush.

Reccer 1 says: This is the first fic in my bookmarks and I've long since lost track of how many times I've reread it. So many moments have ingrained themselves in my memory; Caleb's hands on Essek's elbows when they first kiss. Their later spicy makeout getting interrupted by Essek getting a call. Caleb trying to pin Essek to his door the moment they get to his apartment for kisses and Essek having to get him to slowdown for a minute. Essek thinking Caleb looks like a god as they lay in bed together. "I want a clean break". Essek touching Caleb's new beard first thing when they reunite after Caleb's grown it. Their candelit video calls. I have to stop myself before I just list everything that happens because it's all SO GOOD. Essek Week 2021 produced some just magnificent fics and this is easily towards the top of that list. Reccer 2 says: The exquisite writing, the Demi Essek, the literal sleeping together, and the way their relationship evolves over time.

we never do go over (we always gotta go through) by Chrome (17169, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

In which Essek uses Convergent Future to save the Nein in Aeor and has to take the journey out of Aeor with five levels of exhaustion.

Reccer 1 says: SUCH a classic, I distinctly remember reading this one on my laptop at the back of the forum room my study hall was in, right when it was posted. The physical toll of powerful magic is something I ALWAYS love to see explored, so this was already a success on that part. Add in 5+1, hurt/comfort, and Shadowgast tenderness and getting together? This fic still lives rent free in my head for a reason. Reccer 2 says: Such tenter feelings!

This is one of our weekly communally-generated shadowgast rec lists. Every week we announce a new theme and allow anyone to submit a fic recommendation. 

And hey, anyone includes you!

Next week, we'll be featuring fics that include good/complicated mom Deirta. Any fics coming to mind? Well, then use this form to submit!

[rhymeswithchronic]

*shimmies up to the mic*

*gently taps on it*

*clears throat*

Episode 6 just solidified PvP Civ as being better then Parkour Civ

*runs away as fast as possible*

OKAY LISTEN I will literally commit war crimes for EMF, my scrungly, and Parkour God Evbo, but to be perfectly honest most of the things that make the characters so lovable is headcanon or fanon. Parkour Civ is loved for the story, the light hearted nature and humor, ~the yaoi potential~ and the messages

Episode 6 alone has just solidified almost the entire cast of PvP Civ as individual, thought out characters. Really, the only one in ParkCiv with that kind of thought was Seawatt, with his tragic motivations followed by his death.

Parrot and Tabi have become SO MUCH MORE interesting because of the reveals, and I think Tabi has just immediately become one of my favorites because she’s just so INTERESTING. Someone who is so determined to reach a goal that she doesn’t care if she kills people in her way, but who also consciously *did not permanently kill Evbo despite having the ability to do so*. There’s still SOMETHING there that caused her to use the axe instead of the Eternal Sword, and THAT is the part of her that I think is truly her.

She was talking to someone towards the beginning (our great Parkour Villain himself can’t wait for PvP Villain ClownPierce) but there was something off about their conversation. Clown suggests that she shouldn’t be the one to do this because she’s younger and she “doesn’t deserve to die yet”. Something about their plan does not end well for the one who has to carry it out. Tabi is doing something and possibly sacrificing herself in the process.

Now here’s the thing: Why did she kill Evbo at all?

It could be for the reason that is presented to us. Because she doesn’t care about him. Because he was a tool she used to get what she needed and she didn’t care what had to happen to him for her to get there. She only brought up the literal torture he suffered FOR HER as a way to manipulate him further into following her orders, and now he’s just an obstacle

But that *doesn’t make sense*

If he was just an obstacle, WHY did she let him respawn? We can assume she didn’t know that Prince Zam was waiting since if she wanted Evbo to be killed and not respawn, she easily could’ve done that herself. But she DIDNT. She actively chose to use her axe on him and let him respawn. She has to know that Evbo is going to come after her. She has to know that Evbos continued existence, especially as a Natural Born Sword, is detrimental to their plan. She knows this and she chose to use her axe anyway

That leaves us with the other possible reason:

Tabi did it to SAVE Evbo

Hear me out on this. Talking about her discussion with Clown, here’s how it goes:

“Let me be the one to do it. You have a longer life that I do, and you don’t deserve to die yet.”

“We’re all gonna die if we don’t get that sword, and you know I’m the only one good enough to get it.”

Clown suggests here that somehow, this plan will end up with someone dying. He is offering himself because she “has a longer life”, which could mean he’s older and has lower durability than her, or something else entirely, but that’s up in the air.

Tabi is SMART. She knows exactly what she’s doing and why. She knows that there’s a solid chance that she will die, but she’s willing to risk that for immortality. “We’re all gonna die”? Because of the other kingdoms?

Whatever it is, whatever she meant, she did not want Evbo as a part of this. She told him to move first. Attacking was not her first priority. She didn’t want to kill him, but she knew one thing:

Evbo could not go with her.

If she stayed true to her word, if she left together with Evbo, she knew he would want to stay with her. He would stay by her side no matter what. And she just couldn’t bare the idea of leading Evbo to his own death from their plan. Maybe she was hoping giving her the time to flee would allow the Diamond Swords to convince Evbo to not leave at all. Not like it would take much convincing (in her eyes) since he was already attached. Inside of the civilization is the safest place for someone as trusting and naive as him. She wanted to keep him safe, and if he came with her, the same thing that would kill her would end up killing him.

Tabi killed Evbo to save him I rest my case

[weepingchronicles]

yan!azula (atla) getting back reader 🙏🏻 (headcanons, or one shot please!)

yandere azula x airbender reader (part 2) platonic or romantic tw/cw: yandere, choking, death threats, verbal abuse, possessive behavior a/n: erm guys.. it's getting kinda scary  😰 😰 (part 1)

being with aang and the others was unlike anything you've ever experienced.

when you first met everyone you were scared- but they all welcomed you with open arms. katara emphasized with you, having her mother also die at the hands of the fire nation. sokka tried to flirt with you, which you were oblivious to, until aang and katara told him to knock it off. after that, you became like katara to him, like a younger sibling who'd he protect.

you were so naive to the world, never stepping foot outside of the fire nation before.

when aang had told you his story, how he was in a iceberg for 100 years and was the avatar, but more importantly one of the last airbenders- you could hardly believe it.

the more the gang told you their stories, the clear it became that the fire nation had took away your parents, your culture and your freedom. you knew azula was evil, but you still believed you had no other choice but follow her.

you told aang that you had no airbending ability, you thought you'd be discarded away, just for being useless

but aang did no such thing, just offering a smile and saying he's just glad he has someone from home.

and you did feel at home.

You woke up to shaking, and your eyes immediately lit up. For a minute, you were back in the palace. Azula waking you up so she could sleep beside you. It was when we were in our younger years and Azula would wake you up at odd hours of night, slipping with you under your blanket. You assumed it was because she had nightmares, you did too, but you never dared ask her about it, fearing you'd end up with a scar like Zuko's.

You woke up from your flashbacks and took in to the actual scene in front of you. It's Aang.

"What's wrong?" "It's someone. They're following, come on, we need to get onto Appa."

You all pack your sleeping bags and ride on Appa. It's still the middle of the night, and the cooling wind blowing past your hair is not making your exhaustion any better.

Finally you all spot a place to settle down, it's in a middle of a forest which will be hard for anyone to navigate through

You lay out your tents and sleeping bags again to finally rest. You find yourself somewhat missing Azula, when she would be nice for once and fall asleep beside each other until morning. You push back those thoughts, remembering how she treated you. If she really cared she'd let you go and be happy.

With all these thoughts swirling in your head, you don't notice yourself start falling asleep.

You feel a hand on your mouth causing you to snap your eyes open. There she is, Azula. It's only been a week and she's already found you. Your eyes look to where the rest of the gang were sleeping but instead they're gone!

"Aw, don't look so surprised. You really thought I wouldn't go looking for my favorite pet?" The nickname made you cringe and Azula removes her hand from over your mouth, but both her knees restrain your arms to the ground.

"Where's Aang, Katara and Sokka!?" You spit out, but you instantly regret when you see Azula's sly smirk turn to an expression of jealous rage.

"Really? I could kill you right now but you're more worried about your friends!?" Before you could reply, her hand slapped over your neck, squeezing around your throat. Perfect manicured nails dug into your flesh, practically leaching the breath you had left in your lungs out of you. Azula's eyes leaked of fiery rage, pure fuel and the truth is you've never seen her like this. She's dangerous, more dangerous than ever before but she is not as calculated. You knew that Mai and Ty Lee couldn't defeat the Avatar on their own so she must know that, but instead she came for you.

Still, your heart ached for your friends, the only true ones you've made all your life. You yourself felt a fire deep inside you, not as fiery as Azula's, but it was ignited when you first met Aang.

"Please.. don't hurt them." was all you could manage out before you start turning purple. Azula's face turned shocked, like she couldn't believe you care more about your friends than her. She dropped her claw-like grip on your throat, you let out a gasp of air before rolling to your side and coughing.

While you were coughing, Azula let go of your arms and stood. "(Y/N), they don't truly care for you. At least not like I do, look at what I have done for you! You really think a pesky water tribe girl, a non-bender and a 12 year old Avatar really care for you? Tell me, do you really think the Avatar would save you if you weren't from the Air Nation?"

You were on your side, refusing Azula to see your face. Was she right? It's true that Aang came for me because we are both air but Aang is a good person! He would definitely rescue me even if I were someone else.. right?

You felt Azula's hand cup your cheek and turn your gaze towards her. Her eyes now are half-lidded and the fire was just warmth now.

"(Y/N), please, come home now and we can forget about this. This is silly." She tucked a piece of hair away from your face, which would have been loving but all it made you feel was owned. Like you were a pet, something to leash and expect obedience from. You wanted to show her you were nothing like her, and she did not own you.

Without even thinking you smack her hand away, a surge of strength powering you as you stand up. You moved to shove away Azula but as you did so, a gust of wind flew her back more than 8 feet away from you.

What?

You look down at your hands and back at Azula wobblily getting up, pure shock but also confusion on her face.

You turn around, hearing a familiar girls voice calling you.

"Katara!" You yell, running back to her. "Come on, we have to go! This girl somehow took away my bending." The girl Katara was saying about sounded Ty Lee but you knew you had to get out before Azula fully recovers. You finally made it back with the others and flew away safely on Appa. You look down as fly away, Azula's form getting smaller and smaller by distance. Aang speaks, finally pulling you you of your daze.

"(Y/N), are you okay? How did you manage to fight off Azula?"

"I.. I don't know." The group looks at you with confusion but you're more confused than they are.

You were safe from Azula for now but you knew she'd be back for the Avatar, especially now since he wasn't the only Airbender..

And that's a wrap! Sorry it took so long, I got really busy and I couldn't figure out an ending I liked. Comment or request whether you'd like reader to fully escape Azula or not, or something completely different!

[whitehotwild]

OKAY!!! so these are the ex!butcher x reader/OC(?) x logan headcanons/sort of a prologue/brief outline of the story!

AN: PLEASE let me know if you'd rather read a 'x reader' story or an ‘OC x reader’ story!!!!

OKAY!!! so this will read like a canon divergence AU (aurbviously).

Butcher was never on the brink of fucking DYING from temp v, he never killed Victoria and he never got powers.

BUT he is spiraling, that mean part of his brain (kessler) has just sort of taken over and made him kinda lose grip on what actually matters, Butcher wants everyone with powers dead, but especially Homelander.

(I’ve kinda been thinking about actually making this post Homelander death, and THEN Butcher spirals way way way out of control wanting basically a superhuman genocide, let me know what you think about that)

ALSO, Supes and Mutants exist as two separate things in this universe. Supes came after Mutants because Frederick Vought realized that these superpowered beings could be capitalized upon, but he knew if he used mutants they might end up rebelling, so going about making his own Superhumans was a safer option in his mind. Mutants are born, Supes are made.

Mutants distance themselves from Supes, knowing they usually end up being more trouble than they’re worth.

Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters does not accept Supe students, they did for a while at the very beginning, but Charles quickly realized that, for whatever reason, Supes and Mutants just do not get along on most occasions.

OKAY!!! SO NOW THAT THE GEEK TALK IS DONE, HERE’S THE STORY DETAILS

You/OC were a college intern at Vought that Homelander had his sights set on. He sort of coerced you into a relationship/situationship that lasted for about a year and was quite was toxic (bc like… it’s homelander).

While that went on Butcher knew of you bc of how obsessively he kept tabs on HL.

Butcher was planning on killing you to hurt HL, but then when he realized things had ended he knew you’d be more use to him alive than dead.

you were recruited to The Boys around the same time as Hughie, maybe a bit before.

you and Butcher don’t get together until after Becca dies, at first you’re really just mostly a object of comfort and escape for him, it’s way more serious for you than it is for him.

very Casual by Chappel Roan vibes

very Sharpest Tool by Sabrina Carpenter vibes

BUT the longer you stick around the more genuinely attached Butcher gets

There’s this sweet spot from almost a year in to a few months before the end of your relationship, it lasts about 2 years itself, you and Butcher are together for nearly 3 years.

during that sweet spot Butcher starts meaning it when he says "i love you"

near the end of those 3 years is when Butcher starts to become utterly obsessed with the whole “taking down homelander/supe genocide” thing.

he gets meaner, not to you specifically, just in general. he’s less affectionate, doesn’t spend as much time with you, only really initiates intimacy when he wants it, otherwise kinda brushes off your advances.

anytime you try to bring up these issues or his recent behavior you’re quickly shut down with a firm, “Let it be, love.”

you start spending more time away from the apartment, outside of work you try to fill your time with either hanging out with friends or going to the bar.

one night, you’re out with Annie and a few of your other friends at a little dive bar uptown.

you wanna play pool but none of your friends want to play, annie suggests you just go ask someone.

you’re a few drinks deep, not enough to make you drunk, just enough to instill a nice coat of confidence around you.

so, you see this man sitting at the bar, leather jacket draped over the back of his barstool, a cigar in one hand, a glass of what you assume is probably whiskey sitting in front of him, and you have no problem going up to him.

you ask him if he wants to play a game with you, and at first he tries to shoo you off, but unfortunately for him, you’re persistent.

there’s an instant connection between the you and the man, who you learned is called Logan.

he tries to ignore whatever nice feelings you spark up inside him, he’s got this lone wolf thing going on and he doesn’t need you, this pretty young thing, coming along and ruining it for him… is what he tells himself.

you promised him at first that it would only be one game, but after he beat you, you demanded a rematch, and by the end of the night you had played at least a few games.

you say your goodbyes and Logan assumes he’ll never see you again because that’s just the way things go. he tries to ignore the soft pang of disappointment in him, brushing it off as one of those rare occurences where he actually does feel a bit lonely��� he’d never say that out loud.

you come back at the same time exactly a week later, this time by yourself, after a long week of dealing with the brick wall Butcher has put between the two of you.

Logan tries to ignore the way his heartbeat picks up just a bit when he sees you, he’s almost a bit annoyed that you came back, he was just starting to shake the memory of you that he couldn’t seem to forget like how he can the others.

you play pool again and open up to each other, even if it’s just the slightest bit.

this becomes a weekly occurrence, you and logan become “friends” (more so acquaintances that hang out once a week only at the bar for a few hours).

ANYWAYS!!! i’m gonna stop here so i don’t just write the whole story in bullet format, but this is the basic outline of the first bit of the story. literally only gonna write this if people actually want to read something like this, and it’ll also take me a while because i’m in the process of moving SO, pleathe be patient for i am just a little guy.

[xxfanfiction-emo-trinityxx]

Mcr headcanon: y/n (gn) is starring in a horror movie and they’re character d!es in the movie.

Like they d!e in a HORRIBLE way, like horrifying way, how do the boys react to it?

TW: mentions of a fictional character's death, mentions of food, mentions of jealousy

Gerard

I'm literally on my way back from a Yosakoi festival after getting up at 3am (it's 9pm currently, I had 4 hours of sleep), and my feet have been in soaking wet shoes for the past 10 hours (I think they're starting to develop gills) because the rainy season decided to made a comeback and they had to cancel the fireworks because of that (at a festival that's called a "fire carnival" of all events), and you're coming with this? Not formatted properly because I'm literally sitting in a bus, that's driving through the Kyūshū night while I have glitter stones stuck to my face and two braids with Yukata-hair-accessories on my head.

WC: ???

Assuming Gerard knows what's gonna happen, he's probably looking forward to it. He's sitting in your living room, watching the screen attentively, the snacks you were sharing long forgotten as his eyes follow the action. He's leant forward, ellbows on knees, asking "oh, is this where it happens?" in an almost gleeful voice. Depending on how sudden the scene happens, he either gets jumpscared or just follows the story like the most interesting lecture. Either way he ends up laughing, and leaning back into the couch once it's over, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and kissing your forehead. "Well done," he'll tell you with his lips pressed to your forehead.

Would he watch that movie again: sure! It's a good movie! Next time he'd like to discuss the foreshadowing of the ending through the use of colours and the weather in the early scenes of the movie.

Mikey

Mikey loves horror movies, and that his s/o is staring in one is just a major plus to him. He has a lot of experience with horro movies, so he catches on pretty early that your character is going to die, even if you didn't tell him. He would low-key get excited about it. A voice in the back of his head tells him that 15 or 20 years ago the idea of watching a character that has the face of a beloved person die on screen would have terrified him, even though he was very well able to tell fiction from reality, but now he just enjoys the action, as he feels you cuddled into his side. He might even go as far as offer ideas for even more gruesome deaths, or ways to make the character's death even more painful for the audience.

Would he watch that movie again: absolutely! Has the potential to become a new favourite of his.

Side note: my seatmate just fell asleep on my shoulder. I shall not move until she wakes up.

Ray

Ray would generally be pretty chill about it. He grew up with horror movies too, and he is used to seeing you on screen, so he isn't all too bothered by it, but probably more bothered than Gerard. He doesn't show it all too openly, only pulls you in after the scene is over and praises your work. The only indication that he is more affected by it than he lets on is when he pulls you in a little tighter that night, holding you close to his warm body with his nose buried against your neck. (Seatmate just tried sitting up, and failed. Head is back on my shoulder.)

Would he watch that movie again: he wouldn't necessarily bring it up by himself. If he wants to see you act, there are other movies you're in, where you get a happy end, or at least don't die (he prefers watching those over watching your character die, even if he has to suffer through watching you kiss another actor or actress in front of the camera. It always makes him a bit more self-conscious watching you kiss those perfect people, even if it's not real, and he get a bit more clingy than usual for a few days afterwards.)

Seatmate sat up again, is leaning towards the other side now.

Frank

Frank plays is cool, but isn't. Like the others he has seen enough horror movies and has seen you enough on screen. He's even okay with your characters making out with other characters on screen, even though he does have a (well controlled) possessive side that usually tries to act up when some person is hitting on you. (Seatmate's head is back on my shoulder. She's so cute.) So he knows he shouldn't feel that pit in his stomach opening, it's just fiction after all, you're right here next to him, babbling about how hot the studio was that day while playing with his fingers. Still he closes his eyes at the last shot showing your character staring up right past the camera with lifeless eyes. He has watched your characters die on screen before, but something about the way this is portrayed hits different. "Whoa, that looked pretty real," he'd chuckle, his voice a little more shaky than he'd like to admit, "rad acting there!" Luckily you know him well enough to see through his facade. You know he's self-conscious about his feelings towards this scene, so you don't address it directly, but you scoot a little closer to him at night, and he takes the invitation, and wrappes you in his arms (which is rare, since he usually needs a little bit of space to fall asleep).

Would he watch that movie again: only if you asked and he couldn't come up with an excuse not to watch it. He'd rather not see this last shot of your face again.

And since nobody asked, you get a picture of our banner

[bharv]

Feel free to ignore but: do you feel that gortash is - I guess the word I'd use is "good" - at sex? By whatever metric you'd judge that?

Hey anon I LOVE THIS QUESTION and I can't be normal about it!

So I have to dive into it a bit into sections because there's a lot going on here for me and obviously the caveat here is this is my opinion, this is my opinion from inferences from the text, this is my opinion.

So in order to do this we need to cover a few sections: sexual education, sexual agency, sex as tool and sex as desire.

All of this is going under the cut for discussions of childhood abuse, canon inferences, decisions he makes in game, and some headcanons around agency and dub/non-con that readers may find uncomfortable.

so, let's start at the very beginning with:

Sexual Education

There are two things we know about young Enver Flymm. One is that he was raised in a small cobblers workshop where he shared a single room with his parents. The other is that at some point, he was taken to the literal hells where he suffered an incredibly physically abusive situation.

We don't know for sure the exact age he was taken, but I think it's easy to infer that he was prepubescent when he was taken from the way he is spoken about as a snot, a boy etc. by Nubaldin. Even if he was a little older, it's safe to infer that he didn't have a particularly healthy environment to learn about sex and sexuality either at home or in literal hell.

If we assume Enver was in hell, we know that the sex he would have potential been aware of was largely non-consensual. There's references all over the place about his fellow detainee Hope being sexually and physically assaulted as well as psychologically manipulated. We don't know with Enver if he ages in the hells (I assume he does, and that it is only those who sell their souls and end up there after death that do not age) but if he does, he goes from childhood to early adulthood, ten years, in this space (mirrored in Karlach spending ten years there as well, interestingly.)

We also don't actually know how he escaped the hells, and it is a niche headcanon (which I have also put into my works) that he as a young adult learned about sex and traded with Haarlep to find his route out (in my stories, this directly feeds into Mephistopheles being interested in the potential of this boy, and letting him steal the crown.) There's no text basis for this, it just neatly ties up some thematic threads and I think can be put aside and it still doesn't change the core that:

Enver Gortash had no way of having a healthy understanding of sex as a teenager. There isn't really any way that he could have! Either he's living in a one-bed apartment with abusive parents who hate his existence, or he's learning from Raphael's example in literal hell.

Sexual Agency

This is where a lot of people feel differently, but again, we can look at things as they are and then make some inferences.

Enver Gortash does not have a named spouse, or any named mistresses/side pieces/conquests. Anything. There is no evidence of anything (we will come to Durge later.) Compare this to Sarevok, who has two named partners and is inferred to have had others, and it is an interesting choice to have zero ties. It's particularly interesting because as a Lord, he would be expected to be thinking of siring a house, and as a man in power, the narrative expectation would be to find evidence of sex as a benefit of his position. We don't see any evidence of that.

There is a read that many, including me, bring to the fondness that The Dark Urge and Gortash have for each other, but again, there is no evidence that this is sexual or if it is, that it was ever something than a mutual pining. That's the joy of fanworks, you can grow on what's there, but it's not explicit that it's anything more than mutual admiration.

So for me? I think that there is significant evidence that he doesn't prioritise sexual attraction and fulfilment over other areas of reward.

Sex as a Tool

What we do know though is that he has used his body to get things he wants. The Jannath letter, which I love, makes it clear that he had sex with her for financial favours and clout, and that she indulged him in this. He's also more than happy to trade on his image in every way he can. I think it's easy to infer from this that he is, at least in one setting, able to give people what they want out of sex. Whether that means he's technically good OR he's good at constructing and fulfilling the fantasy, I think that's up to interpretation, but I think he knows what to do when it is a performance, and if there's something he can tangibly get out of it like money, power, the ability to blackmail somebody later, then that is the element that is getting him off, not the sex itself. Sex for gain is just another part of his arsenal, to be refined and researched like anything else, and picked up and put down as useful to him.

Sex as Desire

And this is --and it is completely up to interpretation here, I'm just rolling with the other things I see -- where it can potentially all fall apart for Gortash. If he actually likes somebody, if there is a desire or an affection or anything like that, and if he is able to even feel emotions like that, what does he do with them? It's not useful, it's not contained, it's not part of the punishment he learned in the hells or the seduction he learned in the patriars. If he does find himself genuinely fond of another person, how can that fit in his ideas of sex? Personally, I don't think it can do, and there's lots of ways to play with that. In my own stories, the sexual contact he has with Manva is brief, quite one-sided, and quite regressive. He is no charming seducer, but instead taken back to something much simpler that he likely didn't have space for when he was young. He has other encounters where he can't get it up, or can't climax, because the circumstances aren't quite right, the promise of power is not enough, or the partner is too willing (not like he has learned of in the hells at all.)

I think personally that if he does seek out recreational sex, then it is primarily going to be motivated by power play. And I don't think this is well negotiated kink territory. He plays with the player character constantly, testing them, destroying their reputation in the press quest, always vying for more power even when you are apparently allies. This is a man who always, always needs to know he can change the tide.

I think of the woman whose voice was used in the necrotic laboratory, who was stolen away with a promise of a better life. I think of Fariza Linnacker. There's no evidence either were sexual, but we do know that he took great pleasure in manipulating and destroying their lives.

Gortash has so much going on around sex as a tool, as a weapon even, that when it comes to a genuine connection, there's every possibility that he cannot perform at all.

And would that make him embarrassed? Angry? Would he blame? Lash out? Would he seek out professionals to replay old traumas as a "safe space"? Would he avoid all intimacy because he sees it as weak and disgusting? I think there's a lot of scope within this.

So the short version is... I think he's able to be good at sex when it's FOR something. But I don't know if he's even interested when it's not, and if he is, I think he has a long way to go to actively want to seek it out. And is he good in the way that it is connected, intimate? Probably not.

[missinconsistent]

Long rant

Seen so many tweets about Till and Mizi, and whether Till really liked her or not based on some leaked statements from Vivinos' patreon. And it's annoying tf out of me because the discourse has so much unaddressed biphobia and misogny.

BIPHOBIA

People trying to twist words as "See, Till's feelings aren't real" when Vivinos said his crush on Mizi was "boyish" and "innocent" is so annoying. Whether his feelings are profound or superficial, a crush is a crush. Why are you so keen on invalidating Till's feelings toward Mizi? Why does it bother you so much that Till has a crush on Mizi when that's always been a big part of his character? Why is it so wrong that Till could be attraction to someone of the opposite gender? Bi and pan people exist.

Mizi could also be bisexual. Idk if it's ever been confirmed by Vivinos if Mizi likes only women, so correct me if I'm wrong. But sometimes I feel like the adamant "Mizi is lesbian so you shouldn't ship her with Till" is sometimes said to further invalidate Till's bisexuality and his interest in Mizi. It's like saying if Mizi is lesbian, then Till's crush is not "real," when that's not how it works even if Mizi does only like women.

I don't ship mizitill, and I do see Till's feelings as someone growing attached to an idol. But idk, I feel like the mizitill hate can come off as biphobic when it's harmless and it kinda makes sense why some would ship the two. The fact that mizitill is assumed to be a "straight/het ship" opposing mizisua or ivantill proves that some of yall don't think queer relationships can exist between people of the opposite gender.

MISOGNY

Another big reason why people want to invalidate Till's crush on Mizi is because it conviniently keeps Mizi out of the way from Till's story. The way some (ivantill) fans are so adamant about sidelining Mizi is so obviously because they do not like Mizi being the protagonist, nor her proximity to Till as if she's "obstacle" in their own interpretated narrative.

Final wasn't just about Till. It was also about Mizi. It wasn't just about Till's trauma revolving around Ivan's death. It wasn't just about Till's feelings towards Mizi. It was also about Mizi wanting to save her one and only remaining friend. It was also about her being happy to see him again just as much as he was to see her, only for that to be taken away. Both were taken away from each other; whether it be as friends, possible lovers, or an idol and her biggest supporter; either way, it was about Mizi just as much as it was about Till (if not more so). So it does reek of misogny when some fans only frame the narrative to be about Till and view Mizi as secondary or being in the way of it.

At the end of the day, if you really only care about Alien Stage fulfilling your favourite characters that you're crossing boundaries, twisting Vivinos' words, and harassing fans for their own interpretation, then please get a grip. You can ship who you like and engage with headcanons and fandom discourse, but please be mindful of what you say and know that Vivino is still a small creator who blew up in popularity suddenly. She has been going above and beyond making this series that is very different from anything she's made before. It's not appropriate to twist HER characters to fit what you want out them when 1) she leaves things open for interpretation; and 2) she has her own plan on the way they're written.

[sacrificialarrow]

I'm being so fr rn when I say that binding the veil to himself is very far from a good end for Solas -- and don't you fucking @ me with that redemption bullshit. He's a person who chronically cuts off pieces of himself for the benefit of the people he cares about, and you're asking him to not only do so again [when he arguably has almost nothing left to cut off] bc the best he could do to keep the world from being plagued to death didn't end up being a good long term option ( I remind you again that the veil was failing even before he woke up, and note that doing some fucked up shit to a handful of people to try and prevent as much global devastation as he can is in no way equivalent to being put in isolation in a prison of mental torment until the veil eventually falls apart ) but also it literally doesn't fix anything???

Solas isn't innocent but like why are we acting like adding to his psychological torment is a good thing. Especially when he'll flat out tell the Inquisitor that he 100% doesn't expect to survive dealing with the Evanuris / veil issue in the first place.

[amber-laughs]

Hii!

I was thinking here and had nobody to share, so what do you think Jon's relationship with his siblings, or rather, cousins ahaha, will be like after they reunite? Do you have any headcanons? Arya and Jon? Click right away as before or nah? Bran and Jon? Jon and Sansa? Jon and Rickon (at some point)?

Sorry for the ask, I'm just like bored :)

Please come to me with all your bored questions I love answering them! I wanna start off by saying I don't think Jon will be as devoid of emotion as some people theorize he will be. We have two cases of resurrection but they are very different scenarios than Jon's. First Catelyn to Lady Stoneheart: Cat went mad before she was killed, her mind was already heavily altered in her final moments then her spirit was seemingly sifting about aimlessly until Beric brought her back. Beric has been resurrected six times and he says it take a toll on him every time and theres less of himself each time, meaning his memory was nowhere near as bad the first time it happened. But most importantly neither of these characters are wargs like Jon is. Jon's spirit will be in Ghost who is spiritually and mentally linked to him which I think will be a saving grace. I don't mean to say Jon will have no change but he most certainly will not be a walking zombie, he will still be able to have heartfelt connections with the people around him in my opinion. So:

Arya and Jon: I think that Arya will hear about Jon's death before she gets back to Westeros and it will absolutely devastate her which will make their reunion all the more touching. Jon thought she was dead until ADWD and I assume will think she's dead again if he learns about the Jeyne Pool switch so I think their reunion will be one of relief. I've made a post about this before but Arya thinks she knows who Jon's mother is right now, Edric Dayne told her it was Wylla the Wetnurse and she explicitly says she can't wait to tell Jon. I think this will go one of two ways: Jon will finally be at peace to know the truth and then BOOM! he finds out the The Truth or he'll know about Rhaegar and Lyanna before hand and have to decide if he's going to lie to Arya and the rest of his siblings. I think the R+L=J situation will create a bit of a rift between them because it will feel like a severed bond but I imagine they'll heal that by the end.

Sansa and Jon: I think Littlefinger is going to massively get in the way of this dynamic. Littlefinger wants Sansa to have the North. Jon is Robb's named heir which throws a wrench in those plans. Not only that but George has said Littlefinger gets confused when it comes to Sansa, sometimes she's his daughter with Cat he never had and sometimes she is Catelyn. Grrm called Sansa Petyr's teenage fantasy that's come back and when you have mini Ned Stark walking around the halls that will cause problems on top of the fact that LF will definitely be sniffing around trying to find out who Jon's mother is. He'll try to cause as many problems as possible for them I think. That being said I think Jon and Sansa are a now more alike than ever not only has Sansa experienced being a bastard but Jon has experienced his first love and having that torn away from him. Jon went North essentially wanting to be a great knight and finding out Castle Black is not what he heard in the songs and stories just like Sansa when she went South. I think LF will be their main issue along with some tension over Sansa feeling like Robb sidelined her for Jon and I'm not exactly sure how or where it'll end up but I'm excited (I do not under any circumstances believe that they'll be romantically involved)

Jon and Bran: I know this is gonna sound weird because Bran is only 9 but I see their relationship becoming a little co-worker like. Bran will know all about the Others by the time they meet up and Jon and him will spend a good chunk of time trading information I think. On top of that I think Bran will end up becoming something of a warging teacher to Jon the way Jojen was to him. I don't think I believe that Bran will be the one to reveal R+L=J to him, I think that'll be left to Howland.

Jon and Rickon: Personally I see Rickon dying before he reunites with Jon. If that doesn't happen I'll be curious to know if Rickon remembers him. There's a section in the Cushings Draft of Feast for Crows where Ghost can sense Rickon and Shaggydog in Skagos I know it was deleted so that sort of nullifies it but we know Summer senses the other wolves and like I said with Jon's memories staying safe in Ghost I wonder if the direwolves' connections will have an effect on Rickon being able to remember his siblings despite his age. I personally think that he will remember them if he lives because narratively I don't really see a reason for him to not, I mean I know logically he was 3 when Jon left but he's only 5 now its not much of a stretch.

But to give an overall base answer yes, I think all of them will click right away with love, relief and familiarity but that the problems above will come down the line and can't be swept under the rug

[honest-moth-of-silver-grove]

Hello! I hope you're doing well 🥰

If the requests are open could you do some headcanons for Trevor, Sypha and Alucard with a court jester S/O? (They may be currently courtless). They're fun and snarky and they love their partners laugh however rare it may be - so they make it their mission to get them to crack up as often as possible.

I just think it'd be really cute lmao

Thanks!

 A/N: Oh my gosh! This is such a cute ask! @metkapop Sorry if it’s bad, I just could not focus at all today.

🎭 Castlevania Trio w/ A Court Jester S/O HC: 🎭

Trio: 

If anyone could use some cheering up, it’s these three lol.

After all the three have been through, genuine laughter is hard to come by. 

That’s where our Court Jester S/O comes in. 

They’re smart, and quick-witted, and pretty fast on their feet. They probably come into the trio’s life sometime after S4 ends. Currently courtless, they were traveling in search of a new court when they came across Village Belmont- a small but thriving new settlement, complete with a huge castle right in the middle, so they assumed there must be some sort of royal court inside. 

They’re very impressed by the way things are run/ruled: it’s not exactly a democracy, but it certainly isn’t a monarchy either, which sort of takes the pressure off. It’s easier to be naturally comedic when you don’t have to tailor all of your humor towards one /almighty/ ruler. 

They’re immediately drawn to the trio. I mean, who wouldn't be? Lol. But it’s more than mere fascination, they feel a sort of responsibility to cheer them up. Hearing their stories, hearing of all the trials and trauma they went through, our Court Jester makes up their mind to do everything in their power to make each of the trio laugh. 

Trevor: 

Trevor is the second hardest of the group to make laugh. He’s not against humor, and he has a habit of making witty comments under his breath, but he’s tired as all hell. It’s hard to laugh when you’re just so exhausted. After all, it’s not every day you get in a fight with Death and win. Needless to say, the guy needs some recovery time. 

But he does love a good sarcastic joke, especially if it’s teasing Alucard, or poking light fun at any of the superstitions the villagers have. Knowing so much about the truth of monster hunting it’s easy to sort of scoff/laugh at other people’s ignorance surrounding it. 

For example, one night, there were rumors an untethered group of vampires was heading in the castle’s general direction. Whether they were hellbent on bloodshed or negotiation was another question entirely, one that mattered not to the people. 

Going about his day, Trevor kept smelling garlic everywhere, which was odd, because there wasn’t any garland or garlic visible. After the stench became unbearable (it kept making Sypha’s morning sickness worse), he sought out Greta for answers. 

At the time Greta was conversing with our Court Jester S/O, laughing about something they said. When Trevor interrupted and asked why the hell he kept smelling garlic everywhere, Greta confided that a few of the villagers got in their heads that if they bathed in garlic water, vampires couldn’t touch them… To which our Jester replied, “Oh yeah. Because seasoned food is way less enticing.” 

Trevor let out a chuckle but otherwise held his tongue. It was only when he made it back inside to Sypha that he broke down in a fit of laughter as he relayed the information. The two’s hysterics could be heard outside. It was the perfect combination of sleep deprivation and hilarity that sent Trevor over the edge. 

From that day forward, whenever Trevor was in desperate need of a laugh, Jester would sneak a bulb of garlic into one of his pockets, before hiding and awaiting the snickers that were sure to follow. 

Sypha: 

Sypha laughs the most, although, not as much as she used to before meeting Trevor and going on this journey with him. The last few months they spent together on the road changed the way she looked at people and life. She’s still positive and always wants the best for everyone, but she’s hesitant, and much more guarded now. 

With Trevor back, everything seemed possible again. She didn’t feel as alone and lost. But there’s still a lot she has to carry. Being pregnant, leading a village, watching over Alucard, and helping Trevor heal take up most of her energy, leaving little left for an appreciation of humor. 

That doesn’t deter her Court Jester S/O though, nope! Not at all! They just try harder to see Sypha smile. 

They help her with whatever chores Sypha’s doing at the moment, making pleasant conversation, and trying some banter. When that doesn’t work, Jster opts for a more physical approach. They offer to carry a stack of papers down to the cellar before tripping and falling three-stooges-style down the stairs. The paper goes flying everywhere, like confetti. But before Sypha can even blink, they pop back up, their little bells jingling as they do so: “I’m okay!” Cue paper continuing to fall comedically around them. 

Sypha is stunned with concern for a moment before she starts to giggle. One giggle, then twp, before she’s holding her swollen belly laughing. “That was perfect,” she says. “But for safety purposes, let’s try not to do that again.” 

Jester is careful, but they don’t stop the physical humor completely. They love making moves, even Sypha can’t see coming. For example, when Sypha uses her Speaker magic to conjure floating ice steps, Jester will try to climb up onto it from below, even going as far to get a ladder if they have to, just to slide themselves over the edge and start to do pull-ups on it. Yes, it’s slippery and hazardous, but Jester knows how to fall. They’ve done it so many times, they’re practically an expert by now lol. 

The sheer zaniness of Jester’s actions never fails to bring a knowing smile to Sypha’s face. She just asks that they promise not to act that way when her baby comes around, lest they teach her kid any ideas. 

Alucard: 

Alucard is by far the hardest to make laugh. He’s much more introverted and stoic than the other two. That’s not to say he doesn’t laugh or doesn’t enjoy humor- he does, but it’s much quieter and more subtle than the others. 

Alucard was under a lot of pressure at the end of S4, especially before Trevor seemingly returned from the dead. His stress levels were through the roof, even if he tried hiding it. 

In all the chaos, the one thing Alucard found brought him the most joy was playing with the kids in the village. He liked hearing them laugh as he chased after them from above, or snuck up on them when playing hide and seek. It reminded him so much of how his parents would play with him when he was a little boy growing up in the castle. 

This of course doesn’t go unnoticed by his Jester S/O, who makes a secret pact with the orphaned children to play a funny prank on Alucard when he’s least expecting it. 

The timing just so happened to work out perfectly. It happens just after the first snow of the season. The ground becomes coated in heavy, packing snow- perfect for making snowmen and snowballs. Jester and the children get bundled up and build two modest, unsuspecting forts. Then Jester asks Alucard to come help them referee the children's snowball fight. With a bit of begging, Alucard relents, happy to give Trevor and Sypha some alone time with their new baby. 

Unbeknownst to Alucard however, is that he is the intended target of the snowball fight. And that the two forts are stocked full of pre-made snowballs ready to launch on hidden catapults, perfect for surprisingly even the smartest of dhampir. 

Once Alucard gets into position, and gives the signal for the fight to begin, the kids unleash their snowball fury. They get a good few solid hits in before Alucard’s brain catches up to the fact he’s been bamboozled. He makes a move to super-speed away but not before Jester and a handful of other older kids tackle Alucard to the ground. Yes, they all end up getting pulled with snowball after snowball from their makeshift catapult contraption, but the snow in their hair and all over their clothes is well worth it. 

Alucard, covered in snow and ice, and now freezing children throws his head back and laughs- a deep genuine laugh. 

How surprising human joy is to him, even after all of this time. It’s infectious, and Alucard finds himself grateful to be amongst friends. 

After everyone’s nose starts to freeze, he ushers the children back inside their respective homes, promising to play with everyone again tomorrow. 

Once he and Jester are back inside, he offers to make tea for the two of them. Jester of course accepts graciously, still warming themselves by the fire. Alucard leaves for the kitchen, but not before lobbing one perfectly formed snowball right at Jester’s back. Revenge was a dish best served cold after all. 

I hope you enjoyed it! If you did, don’t forget to Reblog! 

Once again, the cute daisy chain divider is courtesy of @cafekitsune !

[saintsenara]

Not unhinged (I think) but a cheesy little headcanon of mine: Lyall Lupin/Andromeda Tonks, widower and widow meeting in person only after their kids die

thank you very much for the ask, anon!

i'm incredibly compelled by this, because "nothing really ends with happy ever after" is one of my favourite tropes.

which is to say, while i understand why the genre conventions of the series require it, i really dislike how we're supposed to just assume that all is well after voldemort dies. and one of my favourite ways for this to be explored on an individual - rather than an institutional - level is when authors think about how - more often than not - closure is nebulous and partial.

it's clear in canon that andromeda's relationship with her daughter is negatively affected - or even quite badly damaged - by her marriage to lupin and by her decision to join the order of the phoenix. post-war, we can easily imagine andromeda cycling through various different manifestations of grief - her regret that she and tonks were never able to completely repair things before she died, her fury at her daughter for landing her in the position she finds herself in, her complicated feelings over lupin's death [and her sister's...], and so on.

and if lyall's alive in 1998 [which there's no evidence to say he isn't], then his relationship with his son was equally fractured, and he will also be wracked with regret that it will now never be repaired.

i think quite a lot could be done with lyall wanting to know all about the woman who made his son a father - and, in doing so, giving andromeda a space to start to process tonks' relationship with lupin and her own relationship with them both.

and i think that two people discovering that - when they're around each other - regret seems a little less painful and memories a little happier... is as good a place as any for a love story to begin.

[glyhpsrfvckincol]

Hi! Could you please do an Emperor Belos x reader where the reader and Belos used to be good friends in the human realm and When Belos and Caleb found the Demon Realm Reader tried looking for him but died in the process and somehow ended up in the Demon Realm? Then Belos found them and took them to the castle and helped them and then they kiss lol srry if this is long

History || Emperor Belos

Synopsis - Emperor Belos, who you once loved as Phillip, finds your corpse and restores you.

Warnings - Mentions of death. Old ass Belos. Cannibals. 

A/n - I have a love-hate relationship with this dude.

Requests are opened; headcanons only

↳ Ahh, young love.

↳ Your families had betrothed you to one another, as he had been born only a month after you.

↳ Either that, or it’s childhood friends to lovers. Cause ✨ Gay ✨

↳ Despite that, you fell for one another by 15.

↳ You know that trope, “She fell first, but he fell harder”? Yeah, that’s you both.

↳ Philip, who you affectionately call ‘Pip’, discovered the demon realm while he, you and Caleb where off sneaking out of the village for a few hours.

↳ The 3 of you were famously known around the village for your reckless adventures. Many of these adventures had worked out in favour though, considering you had caught a few mountain lions heading towards your town and were able to warn the towns folk before any real harm could be done to gravesfield.

↳ You actually moved with them to gravesfield, as what had killed their parents was a mistimed house fire that took your parents as well.

↳ Being only the short age of 19, you decided that instead of messing with fate, you travelled back home, pretending as if you all had all been out picking berries.

↳ Or some bitch lame activity.

↳ But, as fate happens, Caleb came across the portal to the Demon realm again, and y’know what they say, right?

↳ Curiosity killed the cat.

↳ Philip finds out, mainly cause Caleb actually planned his trip by writing it down in his diary.

↳ Caleb had been missing for a few days and both of you were worried.

↳ So Philip actually informed the town that he was travelling into the Demon realm.

↳ You assumed you would be going with him. You were not.

↳ Let’s be honest, there is no way in hell he would let you go with him. He genuinely loves you bro.

↳ So, you begrudgingly stayed. Obviously not without him proposing, in secret as it is the early 1600’s, giving you a pretty ring.<3

↳ So, off he traveled into the demon realm, with the promise of coming back safely with his dear brother.

↳ You never saw him again.

↳ He had promised he would come back to you within weeks. You waited years. The ring he gave you remained on you finger, hoping he’d one day come back to finish the end of his promise.

↳ When you were nearly 30, you gave up waiting for him to come back, and instead searched for a way to get to him.

↳ The portal you had found with the Wittebane brothers had closed long before you had seeked it without them.

↳ So, instead you would search the forest in hopes you would stumble across a gate or door of some description by chance.

↳ That wasn’t where your luck was.

↳ You fell through the earth, which turned into sky and landed on hard, yet simultaneously soft rock.

↳ Though, you still broke a leg when you hit the ground.

↳ Bone poking through the leg.

↳ And unfortunately for you, barbaric witches could smell the blood from your fucked up leg.

↳ They ate you.

↳ They ate and left no crumbs bestie😔✊

↳ They buried what was left of you. Your clothes, bones, hair, 1 eyeball and your ring.

↳ And around 350-ish years later, a random coven scout, managed to find your remains.

↳ He was on a mission with the GG prior to Hunter, who was barely out of training.

↳ He pointed out the pile of bones and dirt covered clothes to him, and the GG recognised them as the love of Belos’ life, the one he had heard a few stories of.

↳ Belos talked about you so often, to all the previous Golden Guards with such details, it was no wonder the GG could recognise you. Belos also had a small painting of you, cause it was the 1600s when you knew each other.

↳ He also saw the similarities between the ring your finger held to Emperor Belos’.

↳ So, he ordered the other coven scouts that had been assigned on the mission to bring your bones back with them to the castle.

↳ During his mission report, he mentioned the pile of bones he had discovered. He also told Belos himself, figuring that if it were you, he’d want to know immediately.

↳ Belos had demanded to know where you had been placed, and sought you out the moment the GG told him.

↳ He too recognises you, noticing how you had been wearing one of your favourite outfits and the ring he had given you.

↳ And so, like he had done with his brother a multitude of times, he was gonna make a Grim Walker of you.

↳ Belos is a psycho, I don’t know what you expected. 🤷

↳ Belos gets to work immediately, and seeing as he has done this process several times before, he finished quickly and then just had to wait.

↳ Eventually you crawled from the dirt, around the age he had left you back in the human realm.

↳ Though all your memories of him or anything, weren’t existent.

↳ So you know the memory thing Luz and Willow did back in season 1? Yeah that, but to himself.

↳ Belos is a psycho but a psycho in love with you.

↳ He talked of all the memories you two had together, how you fell in love and when tragedy struck.

↳ But none of it worked.

↳ So he asked Collector to just restore your memories and fake ones of how you got to the Demon Relam

↳ Belos wanted to be your saviour, to be the one person you remember.

↳ He knew he’d have to be careful with how he treated you, worried that you’d remember how he had abandoned you and become cold to him.

↳ Belos only had these fears due to Caleb’s ghost constant remarks about how shitty Belos was for leaving you alone, filled with hope based on fake, empty promises.

↳ Belos kisses you when he sees a fit opportunity, which is a lot, scared that he’d have to restart the process of getting you to love and remember him again.

↳ Constantly bribes you with lavish gifts and promised riches.

↳ Also, a lot of gaslighting, he’s a tad bit very toxic.

↳ He loves you, he’s just incredibly mentally ill and hella misguided by 1600’ Orthodox Christian’s.

↳ Back when he was Phillip, he loved you in the way he thought he’d go crazy without you. But now, as Belos, you make him insane beyond all reasoning.

[redbootsindoriath]

Okay so I, like most Silmarillion fanartists, draw the Fëanorian twins as looking like...well...kids.  The book says they were the youngest in the family, and we all went, “Okay then they’re children.”  Which...yeah, that’s fair.  They really just seem to be chilling most of the time, which makes them seem a bit more innocent than the others.  But rather early on in my time doing Silm fanart, I thought about how funny if would be if they looked way older than their brothers.  But I never did anything with the idea.

Well, after finishing the Fëanorian Week drawings this year I was thinking about how I don’t really draw many Ñoldor due to not having headcanons about many of them.  And you guys know by this time that I love a bit of good angst, so I looked at the twins and said, “...ooh goody” and gave them a big old revamp.  (The drawing is of Amras and Maedhros, by the way.  For one thing, I’ve said before that I don’t like drawing identical twins. And for another…we’ll get into that in a second.)

Real quick, for those who aren’t super familiar with the different pieces of source material we have from Tolkien: in the Silmarillion both twins survive most of the story until they die together in the same battle near the end of the book. However, in one lone version of the story, Amrod dies when the ships are burned at Losgar.  Okay so.  That’s what’s been published, from here on out it’s just headcanon territory.

I think Amrod did die when the ships were burned.  Elves are spiritually a bit...different...so I expect twins have a particularly strong bond.  Amras wasn’t really able to handle the death of his brother, and went a little bit weird in the head.  He believed that half of his own soul died at Losgar, and half of Amrod’s still lived inside of him.  For the rest of his life, he answered to Amrod’s names, his own names, and Ambarussa, and signed his name and managed accounts as any of them as well.  He refused to acknowledge Amrod’s death and became irrational when any of his brothers mentioned it, so eventually they played along.  The story spreads that there were two of Fëanor’s sons that guard East Beleriand, but they are unsocial and rarely seen together.  People will report having seen one or the other of them but no one can tell the difference (in reality, this is because there is only one that is still alive.)

It’s uncertain who all knows about Amrod’s death, even among the Ñoldor that came with Fingolfin.  Most of the Sindar and Silvan elves don’t know.  Probably no humans know.  Anyone who does know doesn’t talk about it, and all everybody else knows is what they're told, and this is why in most versions of the story they both survive until Sirion.  For a while you’d see one or the other of them out hunting or going to war, and you just assumed the other was doing something else.  But then after Sirion no one ever saw either one.  Therefore, they obviously both died in the same battle.

Anyway, that’s just the version I came up with.  I don’t know if I’ll keep it, but it makes Amras a much more interesting character.  And that let me come up with a more visually interesting design, much older than I used to draw them.  Whether this was always the way they looked or a change that Amras went through after arriving in Middle Earth I haven’t decided yet.