#it wasn’t an active issue
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idk if I've told this story before but when I went to like a camp type of thing a couple years ago, I was completely coincidentally assigned to a group that was 90% queer people. like we had one ally one homophobe and everyone else was queer, including our leaders and it was possibly the best experience of my life
i had just been through a year of having no friends, discovering my gender identity and my sexuality AND trying to solve my mental health problems for the first time, i was terrified
but it was the first time, as a queer person, that i ever had that moment of holy shit there's nothing wrong with me
i told the girls my pronouns and they instantly changed the name of the 'girls groupchat' to include me. they just went oops sorry and started using my pronouns like it was nothing. for the first time ever i actually felt normal and it was amazing, i still felt included and part of the group, i never felt weird or out of place, they just treated me like a person
and this isn't just with queerness it was also me as a person! i always felt like i was subconsciously isolated from other people just because of the way i am but these people immediately embraced that and made me comfortable like i was never a problem and they genuinely liked me and heard me
bare in mind i knew them for TWO WEEKS
i haven't spoken to any of them since but they completely changed my life and set the standard for me when i make friends and talk to new people
#i do wish i kept contact with them#sadly i have pretty bad social anxiety with texting so after we all went our separate ways i faded out#also was a little in love with one of them i mean what#listen i was unstable and she was pretty and kind DO YOU BLAME ME#i say 'camp type of thing' bc it wasn’t like a normal summer camp#its hard to explain it but yeah#also the homophobe luckily didn't say much#it wasn’t an active issue#just kinda sad yk#normally i wouldn't post this stuff but it's pride!!! i gotta post something#expect more gay rambles#i have Thoughts
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Preston x Danse is the only companion ship I think would actually work because Preston’s inner turmoil is sort of a loss of faith in himself due to the traumatic experiences he’s faced while Danse is looking for something to have faith in and would find the fact that despite the desire to give up Preston held out so long not just for the honor of the Minutemen but because he had some hope.
It would 100% start off as a lotta unhealthy on Danse’s side as I believe he completely lacks the emotional intelligence (due to a combination of factors) to recognize the he’s feelings as anything but a sort of respect for a superior along with leaning too much into Preston as a substitute for the BoS. Preston may not really have a title but he’s like THE Lieutenant of the Minutemen. Realistically he’s the only companion Danse would probably be comfortable taking instructions from especially for how trusted Preston is by the Sole Survivor and his adherence to military standards despite how unstructured the Minutemen are. It would be him waiting for orders, approval, anything from Preston and he thinks it’s just the desire to have the regiment of the BoS again but he also like when Preston compliments him on being useful or resourceful. He likes the stories of Minuteman glory days and he trades the stories of the BoS that don’t hurt to talk about. He likes the familiarity Preston would provide and he’d be oblivious that it’s not just new found loyalty to the Minutemen.
Yet Preston explains it himself that he’s not a natural leader. He’s not an instructor. He helps manage what the General has put in place and he content on doing that. He relays what needs to be done and does major upkeep but I don’t think he’d know what to do with this guy this literally marches up to him and practically begs for a mission that doesn’t exist. Like the formality and respect is nice but he can tell it’s covering something even if Danse doesn’t.
Danse could go to Sturges for the many repair and upkeep assignments he gives him and has the freedom to go straight to the Castle if he really wants a big mission, but he chooses to come to him everytime. He’s aware enough that Danse only trusts him out of all of the Generals confidantes but it would take a bit for him to understand why. If anything Danse should be strategizing with him as equals seeing as he almost got the Minuteme wiped out and Danse was a Paladin for the Brotherhood with many successes under his belt before Preston even led his first scouting mission. It’s like he sees him as some figure of hope, some one who can come in and add stability. Someone with a fresh outlook who can provide a new perspective for him.
It’s like he sees him like he saw/sees the Sole Survivor but that would be crazy because that would also mean… and then oh, it clicks.
The revelation is both flattering and he doesn’t know what to do with it cause how do you address “I know you respect me but is that the only feeling you have for me?” To the guy who like refuses to rest unless you tell him at ease? He has to reevaluate his whole manner of interaction with Danse cause this is a very slippery slope that he’s sliding down and it’s even more perilous due to Danse’s repressed emotions regarding… everything. There’s an equal chance Danse will try to open up as completely shut down and he’s not just concerned about it cause Sole Survivor cares for him but because he has grown to care for the guy too. It’s not like he doesn’t also enjoy Danse’s company and value as a Minuteman member. He’s not a love at first sight guy but he’s played with the idea, anyone would when you’ve spent nights trading stories, historical facts and beers by the fire in a little home you’ve carved for yourself through literal blood, sweat and tears.
I think it’s one of those cases where it’s agonizingly slow to the actual relationship but neither part are anguished about that. If anything happened to soon Danse would be too dependent and Preston not equipped to handle it. It’s a case where I genuinely think they’d bring out the best in each other cause theyd want to figure out what is best for the other and not just apply what they think is the best. It’s the care that Preston would ask Danse what he wants to do and encourage it and at the same time Danse would be incredulous everytime Preston second guesses himself.
Long story short it’s a good ship to me because it’s just two guys with broken confidences and faith in their roles being each other’s hype man and kissin a little about it.
#my thing with the other ships is less that the compatibility is bad but a lot of these characters would not enable the best behavior in eac#other or they want drasticlu different things in life or partners and while flings or non serious things would work long term I imagine#problems would arise that a lot of them would not know how to address with each other like Preston is the most well adjusted besides like#Piper. I’d say Nick but he has the whole I’m technically another guy thing going on and DiMA and he’s a workaholic and throws himself into#danger a lot if Ellie is to be believed so like Piper is the closest next to Preston#a lot of these people should not be in relationships rn honestly because they have barely worked through their issues and should learn to b#health mentally and physically and emotionally alone first as they cling to hard to SoSu#like it’s almost all of them but like Piper Preston and MacCready but RJ is also just kinda a dick but we knows he’s always been like that#Preston x Danse is till more so a like this develops slowly and Danse doesn’t know why his stomach hurts when Preston doesn’t include him i#his patrol squad for the day and blames it on feeling like he’s being excluded for not being good at it and Preston excluding him cause he’#like I need you to do something for yourself of of your own volition but also his buddy deserves a break and does not get that Danse is lik#a work dog that constantly needs a task or he becomes neurotic#I have so many thoughts on the compatibility of the companions cause some of them are like fun partners and fwbs and others would have the#most heartbreaking toxic romances known to man but still get over it the next day and be fwbs like none of them have healthy feelings#Preston x Danse#dunno if they have a ship name#fo4#preston garvey#fallout#fallout 4#paladin danse#danse#Danse’s active flirting is like ‘you know how to perfectly create a secure perimeter I have trouble believing it wasn’t just bad timing and#luck with the misfortune that followed your group to concord Lieutenant Garvey’ and it’s like the most reassuring thing Preston has heard#but that is like not a flirty thing but Presont is still smitten by it cause what the fuck does this guy see in him or why is he suxking up#to him and his poor planning skills
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my mom thinking that I’m desperately trying to “be right” in a situation that I legit don’t care about
#I know the mail doesn’t go on the desk#I said I was actively about to move it#it is not my fault you weren’t listening when I said I’ve got it in one second#I also didn’t know you had a special place for your mail I was just gonna take it to your room#I didn’t realize you WANTED me to ask you where it goes#I put it in your little basket no issue#you dont need to ‘assure me that I’m wrong’ in this situation#I don’t care???#I wasn’t trying to be right#I didn’t know there WAS a right#someone has to be right here mom and it isn’t me#g.txt
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my mum and sibling just got back from their trip. i knew once i got a selfie of them maskless on the plane that they’d probably get covid, and my suspicions were confirmed when i started getting texts going “all the rich food is giving me stomach problems” and “the jet lag is hitting really hard”. i didn’t think their positive test text would be 2 hours after they got home, though. my mum is currently pissed at me trying to give advice about resting and hydrating and is avoiding me asking for a grocery list so i can drop things off. i’m exhausted. i don’t know what to do anymore. i just keep crying.
#I’m so fucking tired of this#‘we’re asymptomatic’ YOURE NOT. YOURE ACTIVELY NOT#my sibling has had Covid once before and came out with migraines and memory issues so i don’t even want to guess at what might happen now#my mum is in her 60s and refuses to rest properly#im so tired of being the only person taking this seriously#I don’t study this shit in my free time for fun! i’m not pursuing my college’s certificate in infectious disease study for shits and giggle#i’m not home obviously and had already privately planned to not go home for two weeks but part of me hoped they’d get lucky#and that they somehow wouldn’t contract it and would be fine#my sibling can’t drive so i just have to hope that i’m actually kept updated and not just given bullshit they think won’t stress me out#last time we waited until it was an emergency to deal with Covid in the household#i got a ‘I’m so sorry i just tested positive’ text from my mum who then immediately got pissed when i sent advice#it wasn’t even extreme advice! the most extreme thing was to throw the ball for the dogs instead of walking them#and to send me a grocery list so i can drop them off instead of them going to the grocery store#or I’ll try and convince them to door dash groceries#covid tw#vent tw
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Poor Yuuta 😆
What's he gonna do when someone tells him Todo punched His Boy™️ through a wall
And really, what's with every person ripping of their shirt or being shirtless while fighting Megumi. Sukuna is the worst offender of course, and their's also Todo, even Mahoraga didn't have a shirt. We're obviously excluding Toji.
Also, being offended at a low bounty is so Sukuna 🤣 That entire post was hilarious, especially the tags.
The other second years decide that they need to shield Yuuta from the knowledge that this ever happened because if he did he’d kill todo and then feel bad about killing him and it’s just be enormously inconvenient to maki specifically who would have to hear about it.
They also decide that this is immediately a mission doomed for failure because Inumaki’s a spineless simp who will absolutely spill the beans to his boy (his boy being Yuuta).
So they tell Todo that if he values his life (doubtful—maki has sincere doubts as to its value and feels even todo must know that) he’ll find a border and get over it because Yuuta will break his fucking spine if he finds out someone beat the shit out of Megumi specifically as a way to goad Yuuta himself. Fuck around, find out. Yuuta’s not letting anyone use megumi against him and he’s willing to make an example to ensure future safety.
Sukuna feels the Zenin were on point with the brat’s valuation (if not too generous) but he’s in here too and he’s a fucking gold standard of targets. What the fuck why is the bounty so low. He’s the king of curses and he’s getting the valuation of an idiot high schooler with a crush. There’s no respect nowadays.
Yuuji has to hear a lot about how the price on his head is not good enough for Sukuna.
#sukuna at three am the night before a mission: i am nightmare incarnate they could BANKRUPT themselves to kill me and it would not be enough#what the fuck is wrong with sorcerers these days. brat you want to fix the in-law problem and you let me out on the Zenin compound. ten#minutes. they’ll see who’s worth a mere /800000 yen/. fucking unprofessional is what it is.#yuuji is somewhat tempted he cannot lie#the Zenin stress his boyfriend out a lot okay#he sees how much they can get to him. and also like. he doesn’t know the details. but he can read between the lines enough to know they’ve#hurt him. how bad WOULD it be to let Sukuna raze a few buildings to the ground#yuuji has a very pretty boyfriend who will let him /hold his hand/ and /kiss him/ and legitimately life could not be better were it not for#the active attempts on his life. those. those are a downer.#very pretty boyfriend. who’s smarter than him. can summon dogs at will. literally the gold standard cannot imagine how lucky he is but there#HAS to be a fly in the ointment and it HAS to be his lunatic family#the thing is yuuji overwhelmingly feels murder is wrong EXCEPT when you trigger him in which case he’ll kill you with his bare hands#re: mahito#and like. he’s getting there with the Zenin. he’s getting there.#the issue is that makis a fucking vault and Yuuta this impossibly beautiful and perfect son of a bitch in Africa who they’ve never met so#they can’t interrogate him. and inumaki is. challenging. to interrogate#pandas the fucking weak link tho and nobara and yuuji have figured out that the Zenin did something seriously fucked not too long ago#they don’t want to invade Megumi’s privacy but he’s Their Boy and they’ll cut bitches over him#yuuji shares a wall with megumi and sometimes it’s really obviously he had a bad nightmare he won’t talk about#but he will tell him when it wasn’t about sukuna ripping out Yuuji’s heart so he won’t feel guilty#and eventually yuuji just sort of pieced it together that it was about the Zenin#not to be dramatic but Yuuji and nobara will kill people for megumi#why does OKKOTSU YUUTA get to know about their boy but not YUUJI who’s LITERALLY DATING HIM#panda: well Yuuta was right in the middle of everything what with how he— *horrified silence* I’ve said too much#todos no help because he also thinks Yuuta is an impossibly beautiful and perfect bastard and it does not help yuujis morale#he’s on yuujis side of course#but if there is anyone who COULD come even close to his brother who is the sparkling pinnacle of existence it would be Okkotsu Yuuta#no one can tell if todos in love with Yuuta#like obviously his heart and soul belong to takada but it gets hella gay sometimes when he talks about Yuuta#he doesn’t know what this assless boy has done to bewitch such beautiful men and it torments him
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Kaeya and Rethel both have a favorite method to ward off any potential suitors, and it’s dueling.
#hc; kaeya#hc; rethel#//Wanted or unwanted; it’s the same for the most part. They won’t tend to accept any suitor who can’t best them in a duel#//Rethel in particular favored this after many started approaching her father for her hand; & he suggested she consider them for self-gain#//Still; she stubbornly demanded only those worthy enough to best her can have her; no gifts or sweet poems could sway her otherwise#//Other family members begged her to reconsider; but Anfortas agreed w her bc she claimed it was to ensure their line continued Strong#//Only the BEST for the Alberichs. @ the rate she was going tho; she was likely to end up a spinster. Not that she or Anfortas saw any issu#//Kae does this; bc he got spooked to hell and back bc a slew of marriage offers after Crepus’ death#//Bc folks claimed he ‘needed’ support after everything that happened; esp considering Crepus was slandered. That it would ‘BENEFIT’ him to#//Bc Luc wasn’t there to help get them off his back nor to actively secure of Luc’s hold as the Ragnvindr head for himself#//Some people assumed Kae would be it and made their move to take advantage. which Kae DETESTED for many reasons#//The biggest ones being ‘how DARE they assume HE is the new head of the family now that Diluc’s gone’#//And ‘Oh stars; oh fucking he’ll; he does NOT need this; HE of all people does NOT need nor deserve to be married; oh fucking SHIT-‘#//But yeah#//Both trained quite rigorously to ensure their independence; not ONE person has bested them since#//Esp since they both will pull out all the stops to ensure it; even playing dirty when need be#//Kae is more lax abt this tho—there’s a higher chance of him making an exception if he likes the other enough. & they are ‘safe’ enough#//Of the other muses; Xianyun; Beidou; and Dehya DEFINITELY do this to be done with unwanted suitors; Period. Xian; mostly to test ppl#//Idarias used to as well; but that was before the karmic debt made her more inclined to just try & kill anyone she comes across#//Xian & Ei would follow Kae & Rethel; in terms of dealing with suitors/testing if worthy. In Ei’s case; she’s too focused crushing on Miko#//Sb who CAN beat her can change her mind; or at least if they put up a good enough fight; they can shift her attention onto them#//Taru; honestly the fight is a prerequisite just to get his favor/attention at ALL#//Will NOT be willing to get genuinely close with much less accepting/choosing to court ANYONE unless they can manage to hold their own#hc; cloud retainer#hc; beidou#hc; dehya#hc; indarias#hc; ei#hc; tartaglia
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I spoke too soon I should have known that was too easy for him I’m so tired I was like hey! I might have found someone interested in subleasing, if they end up not wanting to ill start making posts places but either way, ill need a move in date to advertise and tell people. Do you have any estimates of when you might find a place yet?
And my fucking roommate replies with a bunch of links to apartments like well you could move HERE like fuck you fuck you fuck you jackass this wasn’t what we agreed on and also 90% of the places he sent me were places I already contacted and had no availability/a waitlist/couldn’t sign until august and the other 10% were WAY out of my price range also none of this solves that I don’t want to sign a new fucking lease cuz I want out of this fucking fuck ass city between you and your bf you make almost TRIPLE what I do you will have such an easier time finding a new place and moving plus you wanna stay in this stupid fucking fuck ass city just fucking GET OUT
#i am genuinely starting to hate this dipshit#I get moving sucks!#but also this is all YOUR fault so YOU should get the shittier end of the deal sorry not sorry#also me living on my own means I will go from about 600 dollars of extra income s month#to about 200 to fucking ZERO depending on what the rent is#how about you kill yourself#‘I’m not trying to make this harder for you’#you are actively fucking me over in sooooo many fucking ways dude because you are incapable of considering other human beings#he also has less bills than me?????#like motherfucker doesn’t even have a car payment cuz his mom GAVE him a car be fucking for real#he’s spent his whole life pretty much kinda jusy doing whatever he wants and getting whatever he wants#and it’s reallyyyyyyy starting to fucking show with this situation#GOD#I told him that doesn’t work for me and explained why to him AGAIN#and he has no answered so lol we’ll see#he was also like ‘but you’ll still have to live with someone you don’t know and you didn’t want that 🥺🥺’#like oh my god#yeah in an ideal world! no! I wouldn’t be doing that#but the issue wasn’t literally living with some guy I don’t know#it was being walked all over and treated like shit and not considered#nor was I asked about it lol like now I’m seeking a new roommate I was never doing that when you moved him in so I wasn’t prepared for it#fuck you for all of a sudden acting like you care about what’s ‘best for me’#and that it’s living alone when it quite literally fucking isn’t for so many reasons#you just don’t wanna fucking move and are scrambling now that I’m actually enforcing this#kysssssssssssss#kaz rambles
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I’m very good at panicking and somehow making everything out to be my fault while also “it is what it is”ing my way through life. You’d think I was an oldest
#dani ramblings#the slightest thing goes wrong and I’m slammed with a migraine and down for the count#but#shit hits the fan and I’m j chilling like okay bestie lmk what you need done and I’ll do it#and I’m really good at measuring out consequences??? the issue is when they’re not big enough to motivate me#anyways spent today panicking and thinking things are my fault and with a category 4 migraine#and trying to transform into an oyster when my body wasn’t also actively trying to kill me
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honestly i don’t really think any mental illnesses have been like “destigmatized”- not fully at least. i think the stigma has just changed from demonization to “that’s not a real problem get over it god”
#obviously demonization is more Actively Harmful#but to say things like depression and anxiety have been destigmatized is. incorrect i feel#yes we are not treated like we’re evil. which is for sure an improvement#nobody deserves to be treated like they’re evil#but our illnesses are now being dismissed. ‘oh everyone has that’ not like me#‘you’re just being lazy’ i wish that were true#like. ok hold on let me use an example bc i’m worried abt reading comprehension on this website#(not my followers i trust u guys but i act as if every post i make will get popular)#my brother is autistic. i have GAD.#my brother was diagnosed when he was 2. he’s faced a lot of bullying from both kids and adults and it sucks and he didn’t deserve it#because of all that bullying (especially as a kid) he’s rejecting his autism and focusing really hard on being as ‘normal’ as possible#i was diagnosed last year at 17. i’ve been having these issues my whole life (my mom and i both saw it) but my issues were dismissed#by all the other adults around me (save for family) because i wasn’t visibly struggling and i was doing well in school#it made me doubt my convictions for a long time. what if i’m wrong?#as such i didn’t seek a diagnosis for a long time until my anxiety had gotten to a point where i knew i couldn’t keep ignoring it#now that i have that diagnosis i’m able to wield it as a weapon. my struggles aren’t made up#they’re real. and they always have been. and i can’t just ‘calm down’ like you can. and that needs to be respected#so while i think one is more actively harmful (bullying and harassment lead to self-rejection and loathing)#the other is also harmful- just passively (constantly being dismissed leads to self-doubt and not asking for help)#also why are people angry about the idea of a mental illness being destigmatized?#one group freeing itself from oppression isn’t gonna immediately forget about the groups who helped them get there#if i’m one day able to get perfect accomodations for my anxiety and nobody looks at me like i’m dramatic when i talk about it#i’m not gonna suddenly stop advocating for mental health issues to be normalized#if anything i’ll argue HARDER. you learned to understand me now learn to understand my siblings#learn to understand those with bpd. with psychosis. the sociopaths. the narcissists. the systems#i’m not gonna act like i have it worse than people who are heavily stigmatized. i’m not gonna get attacked for stuttering at mcdonalds#but that doesn’t mean i have /no/ problems and it doesn’t mean i think i’m better than anyone else#i don’t get why people fight each other about this. it’s a good thing so long as we remember where we came from
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which tda book is your favorite?
Lord of Shadows slightly edges out Lady Midnight although they’re really close since I love both so much… but LoS has the overall most impactful arcs and storylines to me the section in the Unseelie Court is probably my favorite part of the series, and the ending packs a big emotional punch to say the least. It might be my favorite tsc book period actually I really love LoS. Also like I just said in the previous ask I tend to be a middle book(s) or middle seasons girlie it’s just who I am. I think this book struck a neat balance between being character driven and plot driven that was extremely effective although to be clear it would probably also be my favorite if it was just character centric filler angst about Emma&Jules because that’s who I am… but I’m still glad it was more than that! LM is also wonderful in a way that few first books in fantasy series are to me usually there’s a slow burn for me to be really invested but not here, and the whole murder cult mystery with body horror (had forgotten about the missing hands that made it even better) + forbidden romance + familial dynamics themes combo and vibe really works for me. Qoaad is my least favorite of the three but I still really like it, and I definitely thought far better of it on reread compared to when I first read it since back then I had been anticipating it so hard and theorizing etc. and had very sky high expectations (especially with Clockwork Princess being a rare perfect finale to me and with how much I loved the first two tda books I hoped for Qoaad to accomplish the same thing..) on reread I could evaluate it more for what it is and I came to the conclusion that about 80% of the actual content of the book I am a fan of, it’s just that the pacing of the book is insane. Genuinely if that book was split into two books and they were paced normally I’d have loved them as much as the first two I think! Genuinely I think cc has gotten too attached to trilogies as the sole structure for her work and it’s a big part of why the receptions for her last two finales have been what they are … (well I’m sure there are multiple factors at play but I’m confident that’s one of them) also maybe even effected tmi part 2 because I remember cofa being pretty filler and the plot there feeling like it could be resolved in a duology? I love almost every individual storyline in that book so if you asked me which ones I would snipe for the third book to be paced correctly I’d be hard pressed to get rid of things but if you split it into two books and grounded them each tonally to feel distinct and just gave us some breathing room I think you could stick the landing! But since I like almost every individual element of the book it’s an enjoyable reread when you already know where the story ends up and the best parts of it really work for me / get a level of emotionality from me no tlh or tmi book does so it still ranks high (like #6ish since I like all the tid books more as well as first two tda) for me, I slander her but she’s my bestie <3.
#s speaks#myhouseofivyandstone#so to answer your question Lord of Shadows lol#tda#tsc#asks#I think it’s the same deal with Chain of Thorns objectively btw the issues are more about pacing than content. But then it was the opposite#for me with that book since I wasn’t actively theorizing or anything so I don’t think I went into it with much expectation and I liked it#more than most of the fandom. But I’m curious if I were to reread those books back to back if it would be the opposite and I’d be more#negative on a reread? tabeling that thought for the future#the role hype and expectations have in a reading experience. not to be underestimated#the best part of qoaad is definitely what it has to say about grief which I can also appreciate more now because#sadly my loved experience over the years since I first read the book mean that those resonate more with me now. Especially these methods fo#exploring it in a paranormal/fantasy media#but it is objectively something that makes it an odd finale because there’s a lot of other things at play. Which is why I think there shoul#have been another bigger book to delve into those themes and Thule Livvy and switch-off Jules and everything. And then another book about#the main political storyline and parabatai curse (and there would be overlap ofc but as main areas of focus)#I wonder if that might have been why there’s such a lack of willingness to give Any time to characters grief in ChoTh. Like she went too#hard in the other direction#the dark artifices
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I wonder what the fuck has been going on with Spider-Man comics lately. I haven’t checked in over four years, is it still doing very badly?
#spider-man#ever since superior spider-man and the silk arc I’ve been avoiding it. I think they took away his stupid ‘parker industries’ but not sure#and silk just disturbed me bc. eugh. what the fuck was that concept. she would have been cool if it wasn’t for that fucking mess#marvel#not interested in mcu tie ins— miles already exist I’ll just enjoy his stuff#speaking of the miles comics I have to actively research the writing team every issue bc. it’s mostly white and infuriating
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Have been thunderstruck with the epiphany that I indeed was having pain and inflammation before I got my celiac disease and IBS diagnoses, but I had completely dismissed it as pain from being fat and out of shape, and I just now realized, as I’ve not been dealing with it nearly as badly or constantly now that I’m obeying the requisite food restrictions, how huge a disservice I did myself by shaming myself and ignoring my own pain.
#quilly has issues#I’m a bit apoplectic and incredulous actually#I fatphobic’d myself into waiting for the pain to get bad enough to try and force myself to change#and the problem wasn’t what I thought it was AT ALL#now that I’m not eating gluten and cutting back on FODMAPs I’m actively in less pain#and yes I weigh less but I’m not any more active#I don’t think the weight helped but it wasn’t the actual problem#just. holy crap. holy CRAP.
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The Bates Murder trial from Downton Abbey frustrates me so much lol like how did the prosecutor know all of that???
#downton abbey#sounds like a mock trial trial#when everything related to the trial is written out in an affadavit#like all of those questions are so easy to lie about or at least dodge because how could they possibly know???#none of the witnesses were actively against him so nobody would have any reason to say those things#I’ll let some stuff slide because I’m not familiar with early 20th century English law and can’t say what is and isn’t allowed#but tbh it is quite possibly the worst fictional trial I’ve ever seen#love this show (doing a rewatch) but this bothers me so much since it’s such a major plot point#i Didn’t notice it before cuz I haven’t watched since high school#when I wasn’t nearly as focused on legal issues
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people acting intentionally dense in the notes is crazyyyyy
why would anyone need to take their phone into the shower with them regularly how is that at all pleasant like you're going to need to set it down to wash yourself and such and it's not like you just stand still for half an hour mind blank I mean the act of showering isn't even so mindless how do you even manage to get that severely bored literally what else can't you do jesus do your hands start shaking when you need to devote a minute to making a sandwich. is it so torturous to stand and think for a few minutes yuo genuinely have serious issues if you can't leave your phone out of your sight even to shower how do you even get that bored and impatient in the shower is there something wrong with you
#of course op wasn’t talking about listening to music#you would obviously just put on a playlist and put the phone far away from the shower if you wanted to listen to some tunes#it’s about being on your phone (i.e. actively interacting with it) that’s the issue
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I’ve been thinking I was insane but everyone was talking about clocking the conservative shift in like music or fashion and yeah I did see it in fandom tyyyy
#but tbh#i think it’s less conservative shift and more minorities being exhausted#like i think it’s less there are more conservatives and more we’re tired of talking at brick walls all the time#and in a fandom sense I do blame a chunk of it on white progressives and who pretend to give a fuck#thinking that you’re seeing change just to have to spoon feed simple shit to someone who says they know better#or just seeing them go back on everything for their own comfort#sucks#Im not even talking about Batman this time#like here it’s easier bc#IK it’s frustrating but for me I like being able to tell that this person just doesn’t read shit it makes the distinction easier#It’s other fandoms where it’s like. oh we did watch the same thing we did read the same thing u just agree with the fascists got it#but anyways#hypocritical isn’t the word but I always talk about how small shit leads to big shit but ig I thought fandom in general was so isolated id#rarely if ever see that behavior irl#like outside of fandom it’d be online#and actually nvm bc I’m remembering SHIT from school but also. is hs even real#anyways the issue is now I’m seeing the same shit in workplaces#obviously not fandom related#wait lemme articúlate it correctly#i always say these behaviors are rooted in things that Can and will manifest irl with real minorities#and Im still surprised to see it#and It’s less the same ppl doing the same thing but knowing the exact mindset causing it#like duh blanket statement racism#but It’s the equivalent of seeing the way ppl talk about like Damian vs tim and then watching real ppl actively infantilize and white folk#in front of you#like i know this happens that’s why it bothers me but damn it’s actually happening#oh ig it Can all be summed up into ive been saying fandom is barely an escape for us but actually realizing SUCKS#like oh arcane for example I love when the fandom is dead bc I could pretend the racism and apathy for black characters wasn’t happening#and that’s why Batman is better for me personally bc I can ignore anyone anyways but it’s easier to ignore when u know they don’t even go#here and they get their opinions from DPDC discords. but for arcane we all watched and ur still doing that scary
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marylily is so ur so pretty by the wasia project coded
#ok but pov lily makes this so much more heartbreaking#thinking about “you’re the only person left so hold me // don’t leave me” especially#cause like lily’s abandonment issues stemming from being abandoned/ rejected for reasons beyond her control#by two people she loved so greatly#petunia turning against her and her own jealousy festering into bitter hate and prejudice#and isolating lily as a “freak”#and snape calling her a mudblood THAT TOO WHILE SHE WAS ACTIVELY DEFENDING HIM#and like it kills me because. she really did try her hardest to be "good” and keep those relationships as long as she could defend them#and well past#and the way they probably made her weary towards love not because she wasn’t loving#but simply because she was so full of it that it was extremely draining to extend it all across to constantly be dismissed or hurt#main points in the tags because ofc 😭#lily evans#marylily#mary macdonald#the marauders#marauders fandom#marauders era#mauraders#hp marauders#dead gay wizards from the 70s
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