#And other life circumstances

[please-picturemeintheweeds]

all the conversations on my dash about marriage are soooo interesting to me!! I talked to my partner’s mom last night about my intention to propose to her son this week and one of the things we talked about was how there’s this really insidious aspect of white feminism that convinces us that marriage and family are shameful or stupid to want because the real things in life are outside the home (ie. working under capitalism). That belief has historical roots in anti blackness and the split between white feminists and black feminists back in the 60s/70s. And idk it’s just so interesting to see how my mom, who raised me with a very strong foundation of second wave feminism, influenced my perception of pursuing my own happiness in ways that feel authentic to me! I love hard! And I want to be surrounded by love for the rest of my life! But in the back of my head, the entire six years of my relationship, her voice has been saying “you don’t need a man, marriage is not something to aspire to because it makes you weak and dependent.” Which is just so interesting bc she’s never said those exact words, but that’s the messaging that we get from second wave/white feminism. The thing is that I DO need other people! Nobody is actually independent, and it is a myth created by capitalism to fracture communities so that every single person is financially motivated to secure their own safety/basic needs without ever needing to rely on anyone else! Everybody needs their own personal house, car, furniture, dishes, electronics, etc because sharing is inherently “undeveloped”.

I was talking to my therapist about this recently and I brought up New Romantics, and how being a young adult in a cultural setting informed strongly by second wave feminism really convinced me (and a lot of people) that the Liberated way to be a woman was to not care about seeking that life-long stability in a partner. That to be free meant never opening yourself up to the vulnerability of a marital commitment. Which then leads into the lavender haze thinking of “the only kind of girl they see is a one night or a wife” which, by self-gaslighting, devalues marriage (she’s valid for this! We should not be put in boxes like that!).

Idk I just have been thinking a lot about the right to legally unite families, and how much power that union can have, and that there is in fact nothing Wrong with wanting to exercise the political right to choose your family. And I know, having worked with hundreds if not thousands of domestic violence survivors, how dangerous marriage can be. Being legally and financially bound to someone, especially if you haven’t been working outside the home during your marriage, can truly fuck up a person’s life and their ability to leave a situation. Idk I’m just thinking out loud, but to tie this all back into the conversations on here the last few days about Taylor and Travis, I just think that for some people, the reflexive horror at her potentially being engaged could be coming from a similar place of devaluing the pursuit of family/love in the context of a white feminist capitalist culture, which harms us all.

The revolution starts at home! And that doesn’t mean that nobody should be making commitments to each other ever!! And nobody should be forced or coerced into lifelong commitments, either. Pursuing and entering a marriage with someone who respects you, empowers you, wants to work together towards a shared vision of the future, listens to you, and shares responsibilities with you is an AMAZING thing! And as my partner’s mom said so simply to me last night: it deserves to be celebrated!!

[coddda]

I wish we could have met in some other way.

Lawlight Week Day 2: Soulmates

If you saw me repost and re-edit this several times uh No you didn't </3

Still frames/Individual gifs:

If you know what every frame is from you get a free cookie. by the way

[cubbihue]

What does Timmy think of his little brother Peri growing up to have a neurotic personality?

Peri's always had severe anxiety. It sorta comes with being the first baby born in a 1000 years and constantly being kidnapped by everyone around you.

Timmy's just glad Peri grew up to be more confident in himself, and more assertive.

Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]

[leminaus]

is it ok to be a little selfish

[gayeddieagenda]

i know we all joke about buck and eddie and their coparenting of chris, them babytrapping each other and this that and the other, but they've never had 2 navigate their relationship without chris being central to it. which on the one hand is like. cute. chris is such a cornerstone of what buck and eddie both mean to each other, and they both obviously love him separate from their relationship with each other ('do you know how much christopher misses you?'), but also it's genuinely interesting to think about them navigating what that relationship looks like without christopher around. partly because i think sometimes they use chris as shorthand or an excuse between them ('do you know how much christopher misses you?' but bass boosted). eddie defines buck's role in chris's life on paper, bc he can't define buck's role in eddie's life. how much they both love chris is obvious and it's a safe place for how they feel about each other to land. and it's interesting 2 think about them being put in a position to navigate that relationship without the buffer or go-between of christopher for the first time since they met

[iregularlyevadetaxes]

anti drug awareness campaign but it's "just say no to abilify" and directed at psychiatric patients

[demigods-posts]

me whenever i see people write off annabeth as an annoying and controlling and crazily jealous girlfriend with anger issues. understanding that the foundation of the rhetoric is based off of annabeth's behavior toward percy and rachel is tbotl and tlo. except annabeth's behavior in those books is soley due to the surplus amount of traumatic experiences she's had. ranging from her parents neglecting to care for her well-being when spiders attacked her in the middle of the night as a seven-year-old. to watching everyone she's ever dared to care for die, abandon, or leave her for a better option. so it's much more likely than annabeth was expressing great mental and emotional distress during a period of her life where it was uncertain if the boy she loved would drop dead on his sixteenth birthday. on top of having to uphold a reputation as the best strategist at camp half-blood and devise a plan to fight in a war and save the world before she's a sophomore in high school. so the notion that annabeth is an abusive and toxic individual lacks the consideration that maybe she was just a child forced to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders at all times.

[isagrimorie]

Did you not see the imminent impalement in your future?!

Agatha All Along 1x07 - Death's Hand in Mine

[willosword]

love vox squeezing the other vees close when he's anxious like they're his goddamn stuffed animals

[rabbits-of-negative-euphoria]

please sir can i have a housewife character whose problems are unrelated to housewifery

[sangrefae]

does anyone else spend a concerning about of time thinking abt laios being the one to kill chimera falin or am i just unwell

[secriden]

*cracks knuckles* Okay lets talk about the elephant in the room: Style going to the support group for those who've suffered loss and telling what appears to be a fake story about losing his pet dog.

I'm going to point out a few things that I think provide a framework for Style's actions here. Not because I think it excuses what he did, but because I think a nuanced read is what the character deserves.

Point 1: An irresistible opportunity

The subs put the "Support Group for Loss" on the image in the notebook, but I'm not sure there's anything to suggest that Style would've known that was what this image represents until he showed up and saw the sign on top of the door.

In episode 2, Bison says, "He plans everything down from years, months, weeks to days" and then tells Kant:

So Style is literally just going to addresses/locations at given days and times, potentially not knowing what to expect. And as much as Fadel is certainly attending this meeting as a response to having that heartbreaking flashback (😭), this is also something he attends regularly and has planned to attend way in advance. So Style has no reason to think Fadel is attending this meeting because of a recent resurfacing of his pain.

What we, the audience, and what the characters know are very different things.

Now, should Style have turned his cute ass right around once he realised what this meeting was? Of course he should. But that wouldn't have been true to Style's character. We've been told by his best friend that he is "crazy" and been shown repeatedly that he lives right up to that description.

Style is impulsive. He's all base instinct and he acts on his desires without thought or contemplation. And by this point he is desperate for a deeper connection with Fadel. He's fascinated, captivated by the mystery that is Fadel and this is an excellent opportunity to finally see behind the wall Fadel so carefully maintains.

When Style sees the sign above the door, Style looks at the notebook (which, again, shows nothing but people sitting in a circle with the words RISE UP) like he's just realising what it means. He then gets this amused, almost rueful look on his face (like he's thinking "am I really going to do this?") before it shifts to determination and he walks through the door.

(My soul for the ability to once again gif something because FUCK Dunk is doing SO MUCH in this show!!)

To Style, this is just too good of an opportunity to give up.

Because let's be real, Fadel is so clearly lying and hiding something:

Fadel is shady as FUCK. He is simultaneously actually a really good cook (Style finally tries his burger so he knows, now), and also has the skills to work at a strip host club, and also can take on 3 guys in a fight, and also can break a man's arm with his thighs. Can you honestly blame Style for losing his mind just a little bit about wanting to get his hands on something, anything, to figure this man out?

Style is being absolutely consistent in his persistence to understand Fadel. This isn't about the car or about finally 'winning' the fight (thank you @airenyah for giving such a detailed framework to understand what Style's been doing until this point) anymore. This is about Style wanting to know Fadel himself.

Point 2: The potential implications of the setting

Now, what might give us a bit of insight as to why Style is this way? I have a theory (albeit one that could prove to be very wrong, but hear me out). I think this whole entire show is set in what could potentially be quite a small town/suburb.

There's a few things that make this theory plausible:

(1) Fadel and Bison are in hiding after Bison blew their previous cover. They're probably on the run from some section of the authorities and so it makes sense to settle in a quiet/out of the way place.

(2) Style seems to be really familiar with the people in the area. Like he grew up there and its the kind of small town where everyone knows everyone and everyone is in everyone else's business.

(3) Style is clearly the darling of the market aunties and uncles.

Style just lost her a sale and potentially a loyal customer, and she's still rooting for him? In episode 2, when Style asks the uncle to let him borrow his cart, it takes nothing but his word for the uncle to give Style his entire cart of produce for his ridiculous scheme.

Style is so clearly someone they all know well and have great affection for, and a very plausible explanation for this is that they all watched him grow up and the entire market (town/village) is fond of him.

And honestly?? Yeah, we see the way Style is actually quite sweet in that careless, guileless, thoughtless way. He goes the extra mile to fix his mistake with Fadel by replacing his car parts for free in episode 1. He helps out by taking orders in episode 2 without being asked and takes it seriously. In episode 3, he tries to drive more business to Fadel's store (bless him, he so clearly does NOT understand how restaurants work, but he MEANS well!!), and can we all acknowledge that it works?? He understands how to appeal to potential customers in the area because he knows the people there. It's not (entirely) his fault that Fadel wasn't remotely prepared for an actual rush crowd and Bison was off getting kinky with Kant and not doing his (fake) job. He is so clear about not judging Fadel's host job and tries his hardest to help him (to absolutely NO effect, but still) when the 3 guys gang up on Fadel.

Style is so loved and more importantly so very loveable.

Point 3: What this could mean for Style's character

So, potentially, Style is someone who grew up in a small town, who has been well loved, potentially spoiled and coddled, but also very much kept within the confines of the narrow viewpoint that a quiet, country town places on you.

It's in the way his dad scolds him as if he was still a child when he's at least in his mid to late 20s. It's in the way Style was so mad at Fadel for scolding him ("thanks for the lecture, dad"), like that hit a sore point for Style. It's in the way no one in the market takes him seriously; they're fond, but he's still a kid in their eyes. It's in the way he has an abundance of free time like he doesn't REALLY need to work at his dad's shop. It's in the way he sees Fadel beat 3 guys up with ease, starts wondering if Fadel is an assassin or a hitman, and is completely unfazed like he doesn't quite have a handle on reality.

It's in the way his best friend is a man who has no qualms about lying to him and putting his life in danger, and how Style seems to have no other friends or people (aside from his dad) in his life.

@wuxian-vs-wangji made a comment to me about Style being desperate for a meaningful connection, and I think she hit the nail on the head. Because along comes Fadel, a mysterious stranger with a suspiciously versatile set of skills who is also very hot and keeps giving Style these wonderfully complex reactions? Who sometimes wants nothing to do with Style, but at other times seems to be at war within himself about desperately wanting him? Who treats Style with anything but apathy?

This is catnip to Style; he never had any hope of resisting this.

Breaking news: Style is a complex and imperfect character...

Here's the thing, though: he was never going to try. The show has been incredibly upfront about who Style is as a person. Regardless of whether I'm correct about why he is this way (ie. that he is very much the product of the environment that didn't know how to handle a kid with Style's personality), episode 3 shouldn't have surprised anyone about Style. He's been incredibly consistent and true to himself.

He wants Fadel and he's "crazy" enough to go all in, no holds barred about it, and the Support Group was the biggest doorway to finally discovering something REAL about Fadel.

And its not just about sex or to prove his superiority anymore. Because if it was just that, then Style would have reacted very differently to their first time.

In this scene, Style is pleased and evidently enjoying himself, but he isn't exuberant. He isn't overcome with joy. If anything, he was more happy and excited when Fadel let him help out in the diner (I mentioned this in the tags in this post too) than he was when Fadel is literally fucking him. He lets Fadel set the pace; barely moves to touch Fadel except to hold him close. Almost like he doesn't want to accidentally mess this up, like he's worried he'll take too much, so he'll take what Fadel gives him and no more (please appreciate @braceletofteeth's amazing tags on this post). For a character that has been so aggressively on the offensive, this is shocking until you realise that sleeping with Fadel - while it's a step in the right direction - isn't Style's end goal anymore.

And he makes that abundantly clear in this episode:

Does Style even fully realise the weight of this desire? I doubt it. But I do believe that Style is in earnest. He doesn't fully understand his own feelings, but he also doesn't really care to either. All he knows is that he wants Fadel, wants his attention and his passion and his focus and his heart.

...but Style is also kind of, sort of, perfect.

Because he's exactly, precisely, breathtakingly exactly what Fadel needs.

Because Fadel is hurt and broken and bleeding inside. Because Fadel is barely holding it all together for Bison's sake, but has already given up hope for any true happiness for himself. Because Fadel can't trust anyone or anything in his life, when he's been used and used and used by the family who should've loved and cared and protected him.

Because it's going to take nothing short of this kind of unwavering, unshakable, uncomplicated determination to give Fadel even a chance of healing and opening his heart to love again.

[benoitblanc]

no no you guys don't get it. the x files cancer arc was, excuse the pun, a fucking white whale of a tv plotline that would not have worked nearly as well on literally any other show. it was a complete hail mary. the writers' room nearly didn't make it happen because they were worried it would fall too deeply into soap opera territory. and on any other show, it would! but the x files is about four key things: mistrust in the government, faith in both science and the otherworldly, building a life around trauma, and the fine line between love and codependency. it is the only show where the entirety of this situation- a government experiment on an unwilling young catholic leads to a terminal illness that is counteracted by a literal scientific miracle in the eleventh hour due to her partner's refusal to accept her impending death- could both happen at all and happen well. none of the themes in the cancer arc were new to txf at all. they'd all been lurking, to some extent, in the background since the pilot. the cancer arc wasn't merely milking a left-field catastrophe for the drama, it shoved the overarching themes of the show to the front and said look. look what these people are to each other. look how impossible it is to face the darkness alone. regardless of when the plotline was conceived, it was always going to happen. it was the only way the story could have ever gone. they were always doomed from the beginning

[tyrianlynch]

Ronan and Hennessy and “I’ve been alone a long time” and “please don’t let me be the only one” and “why do you even care?” “I don’t know I just do” and “don’t let me fall too hard lynch” and “she’s a dreamer, like me” and “no one else gets it, this is what we live with” and “he’ll be drawn to you more than to me” and “I’m not a doll Ronan lynch” and “Hennessy. He had forgotten he could know people. And how he knew her!” and “they didn’t say sorry they didn’t have to” and “if I told you I was going to help you get out of this, would you believe me?” “you’re one of the very few people I would” and “now they were just two ex dreamers made fearless by life” and “don’t be only human just now Ronan lynch”

[mortellanarts]

fandom sleeping on the most toxic yuri pairing in the entire series simply because they never spoke in canon smh

[pop-punklouis]

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