#anyway. is this coherent

[benoitblanc]

no no you guys don't get it. the x files cancer arc was, excuse the pun, a fucking white whale of a tv plotline that would not have worked nearly as well on literally any other show. it was a complete hail mary. the writers' room nearly didn't make it happen because they were worried it would fall too deeply into soap opera territory. and on any other show, it would! but the x files is about four key things: mistrust in the government, faith in both science and the otherworldly, building a life around trauma, and the fine line between love and codependency. it is the only show where the entirety of this situation- a government experiment on an unwilling young catholic leads to a terminal illness that is counteracted by a literal scientific miracle in the eleventh hour due to her partner's refusal to accept her impending death- could both happen at all and happen well. none of the themes in the cancer arc were new to txf at all. they'd all been lurking, to some extent, in the background since the pilot. the cancer arc wasn't merely milking a left-field catastrophe for the drama, it shoved the overarching themes of the show to the front and said look. look what these people are to each other. look how impossible it is to face the darkness alone. regardless of when the plotline was conceived, it was always going to happen. it was the only way the story could have ever gone. they were always doomed from the beginning

[egophiliac]

buckle up lads we're going BACK INTO THE BOOK

[panstarry]

my final from last semester that i made into a zine. cooked this one up in a couple hours before the critique (the ink was still wet!), so it's very raw and kind of sloppy but the sentiment is there. i love you trans people of color. we are the backbone of this community 🌟

[hinamie]

itafushi nation how r we Feeling!!!!!!!!!!!

[dreamerdrop]

something about how garak and julian both lead with their worst foot forward as the first impression.

which is why The Wire works so well for them, because it’s both of them on full display in a way that forces them both to accept they either like each other at their most infuriating or they don’t. and turns out, they do like each other, even when they’re both being incredibly aggravating to each other.

julian contends with the reality that garak has likely killed and tortured countless innocent people, will likely never be truly honest with julian about anything ever, and that he can be incredibly venomous and cruel at his worst, and julian decides he still cares about garak and will still be his friend in the aftermath.

garak gets to see how impossibly stubborn and reckless julian can be, how frustratingly dedicated to his ideals of looking after other people he is, how utterly annoying julian can be when he’s got his mind set on something… and garak absolutely walks away deciding these are also julian’s best traits, even if garak thinks they might need tempering for julian’s own good.

they don’t actively consider each other proper friends until they have been forced to look at the parts of each other they might find most off-putting, and they both see that and go “… yeah, i still like him, even more now actually.”

idk there’s something about how they find themselves endeared to each other for the exact same traits that would normally drive others away. they fall in love with the whole picture right from the start. of course, julian can joke about garak having murdered people. he knew that from the word go and decided he liked garak anyway. of course, garak falls deeper in love with julian when he demonstrates his near-suicidal levels of dedication to protecting others, that determination was what sparked garak falling in love to start with.

and they can still dislike parts of that whole, garak definitely wishes julian would be more selfish (for the sake of self-preservation, mostly), and julian doesn’t exactly *approve* of garak doing morally reprehensible things, but… they knew exactly who they were falling in love with and went all in anyway.

something about falling in love with someone from their worst parts so that every time you have to reassess your view of them, it only makes them more lovable.

[casscainmainly]

The Batkids' deaths vary in severity/importance, but they all serve to shake some core part of their superhero identity. Sometimes it affirms their existing identity (Cass' first death), or it spurs them to discover more about what their current identity means (Damian, Tim); sometimes, however, it severs them from who they were. Dick's transition into Agent 37 and Cass' turn to evil both stem from very temporary deaths, where the death is not as important as what happens after. It's not the pill or Cass' dip into the Pit that actually changes them, but the boundary these events create between their old and new selves.

Which is why Jason's death is different from all of the above. Beyond being (at one point) permanent, his loss of self is irreversible. Dick and Cass claw their way back to their identities pre-death, Nightwing and Batgirl respectively; Jason does not. He cannot, because he doesn't fit Robin anymore, and Robin doesn't fit him. It's not only that his sense of self is shaped by his death, but that it was, in many ways, destroyed by it.

But it's ultimately Stephanie's death that links death so closely to the loss of a superhero identity. Her death, unlike the others, is instigated by loss - Batman fires her from Robin, which leads to the events of War Games. On her deathbed, Steph asks "was I ever really Robin?", and Bruce replies "of course you were." It's a sweet moment, but it's retroactive. He can only affirm her legacy as Robin in the past tense (it's over; it can't impact anyone anymore). Her non-existent memorial can be read not only as a lack of care for Stephanie Brown the person, but for Stephanie Brown the Robin - Jason's Robin is immortalised, Stephanie's Robin is erased. She dies because she was made Robin, and she was made Robin to die.

I guess my point is that everyone's deaths are linked to how much they are valued within their mantle, not just in a metatextual sense (as in, how much DC editorial liked them) but also in the text itself - deaths either instigate further ownership of their name, or dismantle their sense of self. This is why it's important to recognise Steph's tenure as Robin (both in comics and fandom). Recognising Steph-as-Robin is a direct refutation of her death, a long-delayed memorial.

[warmfuzzyanimal]

i was extremely sleep deprived yesterday when i discovered the dragon survival mod which was LIFE CHANGING when you're on three hours of sleep so of course i made a whole custom forest dragon texture in one day about it. and. just for fun, some concept art i made for it:

[getoutofmytardis]

drew these many moons ago in a frenzy. figured i’d fix them up at some point. did not get round to that lol. maybe one day! in the mean time behold my beloved ghosts<3

[erisisthefairest]

me before my leverage rewatch: idk it might be too soon to rewatch

me during my leverage rewatch: I love leverage I love leverage I love leverage I love leverage I love leverage I love leverage I love leverage I love leverage I love leverage I love leverage I love leverage I love leverage

[gilmores-glorious-blog]

going insane about dorym because of course i am and like. i am having so many thoughts about the confession vs the kiss and who initiated which one… because for the confession, we’ve got dorian—the bard, the wordsmith, the poet—giving this heartfelt speech to orym—shy orym who was never going to speak on his feelings and was going to continue to pine from a distance. but then we’ve got the kiss, where it’s orym initiating—orym, who’s done this all before with the first love of his life (not the only, just the first), orym who was married for four years, who we know had a very physical relationship with his husband—and kissing dorian—dorian, who was sheltered in his home up until a year ago, dorian who’s never been in a relationship before, who’s presumably never kissed anyone before either. orym who grabs dorian by the collar and pulls him in for a ten second kiss, while dorian’s response to being asked to kiss him is “ohhhhhhh shit yes” in a stammering and awkward voice. (but dorian continues to be smooth at times too… there’s no way that “oh, i want” didn’t make orym absolutely weak in the knees.)

[suosage]

SHIDOU RYUUSEI & ITOSHI SAE | Japan U-20 National Team #13 & #10

NOW WE'LL BE ABLE TO LEARN THE REASON HE WAS SELECTED WHEN NOBODY IN BLUE LOCK KNEW HOW TO HANDLE HIM. WHAT KIND OF EGOTIST IS ITOSHI SAE AFTER?

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

I love your au by the way but while I was looking through I haven't seen any grunkle Stan yet

Does he live at the mystery shack too? Maybe Bill convinced Ford to try to repair their relationship?

Or and I hope I'm wrong about this

Stan is in the portal and that's why Ford did the cool little mine deal

------

Oh, don't worry! Stan's there alright. He's just a little busy being digested at the moment. Hunger is greedy, after all.

[katabay]

mother, she killed me. father, he ate me. and my dear sister, she gathered all my bones--

ngl, I don't remember how I ended up reading the juniper tree, but after I did, I absolutely went and read all the other ones in the same narrative pattern. let's go cannibalism!!! three cheers for the horror of knowing!!!

so! once again, I'm thinking about antigone!! probably thinking about pelops too, in some kind of way, but mostly antigone.

Sophocles’ Antigone (trans. Ruth Fainlight & Robert J. Littman)

& ofc, Catullus 101 (trans. Anne Carson) :)

[shizunification]

It’s sooooooo hot here I don’t want to draw anything o(—(

[butchdykeorpheus]

sorry to still be mentally ill over the locked tomb but for all that i keep seeing people emphasise alecto's apocalyptic rage, alecto as an eldritch horror shackled into the body of a barbie doll, etc etc i feel like it cannot be overlooked that Nona Is Still In There. she may not remember it, but alecto is still nona. nona was still alecto. alecto's rage and nona's love come from the same depths. the nona who laughed at pyrrha's stupid jokes and wore goofy t-shirts to make little children laugh and got excited for her birthday is the same nona who broke her hands and feet in a blind bloody screaming rage when she woke up to find herself (once again) in chains. i did not spend 480 pages watching nona love recklessly and wholly and extend that love to every small thing, every person and creature she connected with, loving a life lived with her little found family in borderline poverty in a warzone, to believe that alecto is the monster the lyctors described her to be or to believe that alecto won't still love just as recklessly

[casscainmainly]

A Deep Dive Into Why Cass Threw Dick Out A Window

If you've been here long enough you've probably seen or heard of this moment, which is super hilarious and iconic. It's mostly discussed in reference to Dick and Cass' relationship. However, in my opinion Cass throwing Dick out a window had very little to do with her opinion of him, or even of Barbara; it has more to do with her understanding of romance and love. I briefly touched on this in my gender/sexuality post, but I'm going to explain more in depth my interpretation of how Dick functions in Batgirl (2000) as a whole. (This moment is very open to interpretation though, this is just my opinion!). So let's try to answer Dick's question: what was that all about?

Love, Language, and DickBabs

While Puckett's run is notable for not having Cass date anyone, romantic love does play a role in Cass' early understanding of the world. It's the impetus that spurs her to write: in issue 2, she sees a wife read a letter from her deceased husband, and her reaction affects Cass so strongly she immediately starts trying to write. (She also kisses the husband on the cheek earlier, which may or may not be a crush). Romance, and the ability to communicate your love, is a fundamental part of Cass' desire to learn language.

So we have Cass, who has experienced neither love nor language, living with Babs, who's in a relationship with Dick. This telephone conversation in #4 (the issue where a metahuman changes Cass' brain into understanding language) again links romance to communication. Dick and Babs are talking on the phone, unable to see each other but understanding each other perfectly; Cass and Babs, on the other hand, live together and can't understand each other at all.

"She can't talk, so it's not all that different [to living alone]." Babs is telling an eavesdropping Cass that her inability to speak prevents her from love and connection - a love and connection symbolised by one of the first romantic relationships Cass is consistently around, Dick and Barbara.

Dick as an Ideal

There's a debate whether Cass likes Dick or not because half the time they're friendly, and half the time she's punching him or throwing him out windows. This disparity makes sense if you consider that Cass strongly associates DickBabs with communication, understanding, love - very idealised notions - but she does not associate Dick as a person with them. Her interactions with Dick (sans Babs) are cute and normal - Batgirl #29 and Nightwing #81 feature some very adorable Dick-Cass moments, with no real tension whatsoever.

It's only when Cass sees Dick in a romantic light (as in associated with Babs) that she makes him into a symbol.

Cass often tries to copy Babs, thinking it's the 'correct' thing to do - in DC First: Batgirl/Joker, she goes after Joker because that's what Barbara did; later in Horrocks' run she'll wear Barbara's outfit. In a way, Cass' affairs with Tai'Darshan and Kon - as much as I do think Tai'Darshan was genuine attraction - is another way to 'copy' Barbara. In #42, Cass stares at a picture of Dick and Babs while asking if Babs likes boys. Obviously Cass knows the answer is yes, but see what she asks next, and how Barbara responds:

She shifts from 'like' to 'love', and Babs responds that she 'care[s]' about him. For Cass, whose arc in Horrocks' run is about parsing out the nuances of attraction, understanding the difference between like, love, and care is incredibly difficult. She struggles to separate familial from romantic (Bruce in #50) or romantic from platonic (Kon, and in somewhat the reverse way Steph). In this conversation, Cass comes to associate Dick with like, love, and care - DickBabs becomes not just a symbol of romantic love, but of any connection whatsoever.

The Old Costume

I've discussed elsewhere that Cass wearing Babs' old costume in #45 is a representation of her desire to be 'girly', and how she associates girlhood with someone other than herself, discarding her own costume for Babs'. But putting on a costume is not the only prerequisite for being a 'girl'. In Babs' speech to Cass, she emphasises being sexually attractive to men, with her final comment being about this "particular look Dick used to give [her]". For Cass, visual language is incredibly important; putting on Babs' costume is not about being or feeling like a girl, but about being perceived as one. Dick is symbolic of the perceiver: the one who can essentially 'grant' women their femininity.

But Cass is disgusted when Tim calls her hot, which adds to her confusion - why should Dick being attracted to Babs make Babs happy, but Tim (who's not a sibling at this time) perceiving her like that grosses her out? Cass' inability to feel good - to feel 'feminine' - through the male gaze is another sign, to her, of her failure to be a woman.

Which finally brings us to issue 46...

That Ableist Kon Comment

Cass finds out Dick breaks Babs' heart and then starts hallucinating on a drug. One of the things she hallucinates is Kon saying "who wants to date a cripple? Ain't that right, Nightwing?" and Nightwing responding "not me--at least, not anymore."

For the first time, we get to the heart of why DickBabs mattered to Cass: it was an example of a disabled person in a loving, romantic relationship. It goes back to that phone call in #4, where Babs implies that Cass is hard to care about because she can't speak. The Kon comment suggests Cass has carried that with her all this time, trying to find proof that she can be loved, no matter her disability. DickBabs showed her it could be done - the break-up shows her now that it can't be done.

Dick's hallucination mocks her disability: "look at her--she can't even read!" Attributing this mockery to Dick (whose real-life counterpart, unlike the other hallucinations, has never said anything remotely like this) shows that this 'Dick-as-ideal' is intrinsically tied to Cass' self-worth.

Honestly this whole post stemmed from me thinking about this one panel. There is no real reason, from Cass' view of Dick as a person, for her to think he's brave and noble and kind (more so than anyone else). But it's in the DickBabs context - that Dick seemed to love, wholeheartedly, a disabled woman - that makes Cass think this way. And now that DickBabs is broken up, it shows that she, too, is rotten to the core; that someone like her cannot be loved.

And so when Dick shows up, she throws him out the window.

Conclusion

In this moment, Cass isn't just reacting to Dick breaking up with Barbara, she's reacting to what it means to her. If Dick can't stay with Barbara, then that means Cass, as another disabled woman, is also unable to be loved. This all leads up to #50, which features another Cass punch to Dick's face, but more importantly is when Bruce and Cass reconcile through Cass' first language. It's a confirmation that though her verbal skills may not be fully developed, she still can communicate, and she can love and be loved.

I don't think a lot of the ideas I touched on here are fully developed, or conclude cleanly. For example, how does Cass' 'failure' to be a woman relate to her inability to be loved? Is she able to have a stable romantic relationship? There are lots more questions, but the role Dick specifically plays in Cass' understanding of romance is probably not going to develop further. I just think it's interesting how Horrocks uses the Dick-Babs relationship to explore Cass' identity.