#more than most of the fandom. But I’m curious if I were to reread those books back to back if it would be the opposite and I’d be more

[cabeswaterdrowned]

which tda book is your favorite?

Lord of Shadows slightly edges out Lady Midnight although they’re really close since I love both so much… but LoS has the overall most impactful arcs and storylines to me the section in the Unseelie Court is probably my favorite part of the series, and the ending packs a big emotional punch to say the least. It might be my favorite tsc book period actually I really love LoS. Also like I just said in the previous ask I tend to be a middle book(s) or middle seasons girlie it’s just who I am. I think this book struck a neat balance between being character driven and plot driven that was extremely effective although to be clear it would probably also be my favorite if it was just character centric filler angst about Emma&Jules because that’s who I am… but I’m still glad it was more than that! LM is also wonderful in a way that few first books in fantasy series are to me usually there’s a slow burn for me to be really invested but not here, and the whole murder cult mystery with body horror (had forgotten about the missing hands that made it even better) + forbidden romance + familial dynamics themes combo and vibe really works for me. Qoaad is my least favorite of the three but I still really like it, and I definitely thought far better of it on reread compared to when I first read it since back then I had been anticipating it so hard and theorizing etc. and had very sky high expectations (especially with Clockwork Princess being a rare perfect finale to me and with how much I loved the first two tda books I hoped for Qoaad to accomplish the same thing..) on reread I could evaluate it more for what it is and I came to the conclusion that about 80% of the actual content of the book I am a fan of, it’s just that the pacing of the book is insane. Genuinely if that book was split into two books and they were paced normally I’d have loved them as much as the first two I think! Genuinely I think cc has gotten too attached to trilogies as the sole structure for her work and it’s a big part of why the receptions for her last two finales have been what they are … (well I’m sure there are multiple factors at play but I’m confident that’s one of them) also maybe even effected tmi part 2 because I remember cofa being pretty filler and the plot there feeling like it could be resolved in a duology? I love almost every individual storyline in that book so if you asked me which ones I would snipe for the third book to be paced correctly I’d be hard pressed to get rid of things but if you split it into two books and grounded them each tonally to feel distinct and just gave us some breathing room I think you could stick the landing! But since I like almost every individual element of the book it’s an enjoyable reread when you already know where the story ends up and the best parts of it really work for me / get a level of emotionality from me no tlh or tmi book does so it still ranks high (like #6ish since I like all the tid books more as well as first two tda) for me, I slander her but she’s my bestie <3.

[messifangirl]

I... I kinda want to know more about the Cressi waiter and Royalty AUs? They sound like incredible stories. Is vampire/werewolf the one you have a chapter posted? Could you show something more, pretty please?

(Adding a cut!)

The Waiter AU I actually wrote way back in the day. It’s Like A Fairy Tale (5.5k) But I always wanted to write a follow up to it and I have a lot of notes and pieces the sequel. Here’s some:

Cristiano rolls his eyes. "Nothing's wrong," he says. "I just feel like..." He lowers his voice. "Like, I'm chasing him." It sounds silly to say it out loud, and Cristiano's fears are proved right by Marcelo's response.

Marcelo laughs. "Good! It's about time somebody made you work for it." He slaps Cristiano on the arm, laughing again and turning back to his bag. "I like him even more now. Make sure he stops by after the game so I can say hi." He fist bumps Sergio and heads towards the exit.

Sergio watches him leave before focusing on Cristiano. "So it's a little unusual for you. And you're chasing him. But... He's worth it, right Cris?" He widens his eyes imploringly and bites his lip. "I mean, you love him." He flicks his eyes around the room to see if anyone overheard him before turning his attention back to Cristiano. "Right? You've always loved him. He was your first kiss!"

Cristiano's smile dims a little. "Sergio," he says, exhaling and tilting his head back. "It's not that easy, okay?"

And this really isn't a conversation he wants to be having here.

Or at all.

A few seats down, Fabio catches his eye and looks at him questioningly--ready to save him from Sergio if necessary. Cristiano gives a quick shake, indicating everything is fine.

"What do you mean?" Sergio asks, crestfallen. He sits down on the bench in front of Cristiano as if his knees can't hold him up anymore. A hand darts to his waist to fidget with his towel. "You don't love him anymore?" His voice wobbles.

"Sergio," Cristiano starts, rubbing a hand across his face. He takes a deep breath. "I *did* love him. Once. As a child... But it's been fifteen years. And sure, I like him. But I like the idea of him—I liked who he was, and of course I like the look of him now. That's not the point, of course... But things have changed for the both of us... He doesn't know me, and I don't know him. Not really.”

Sergio's still looking up at him with sad eyes. "But..."

Cristiano huffs. "All I'm saying is, we're taking things slow, okay? And it's a little hard, what with our schedule, and the fact that he works two jobs." He shuts his eyes and pictures Leo's face, imagines stroking his cheek and seeing that gorgeous smile. "But yes," he says quietly, opening his eyes again. "I think he's worth it."

The Royalty AU is actually a fairly new idea. Royalty AU has always been one of my fav AUs to read in other fandoms but because I’ve reread kkslover9′s A Tale of Two Princes a thousand times and it is sooooo good, I never really thought to try my own. Until now. It’s still very much in the works and being outlined, and I just completely decided to rewrite the beginning so I don’t want to give you anything that won’t make it into the final, but here’s a little haha.

"It's your duty," Sergio says quietly. "We're all required to do our part. Mine, since I was a child, has been to follow your every step and keep you safe from all harm." He claps a hand on Cristiano's shoulder. "And yours is to lead your people when the time comes. You've already proved your worth in battle, and your men will follow you anywhere. But you've been raised since birth with the expectation to one day take the throne when His Majesty passes. And despite your feelings about what's happening today, I know that you're aware of your responsibilities."

Cristiano's jaw tightens but he forces himself to relax. "Of course you're right," he says, shifting to lean against the wall as well. "I'm just..." He trails off and swallows his frustration down until he can find the words. "I would have preferred Prince Koke over some savage from Barcelona," he adds with a huff. "At least I've met Koke and he's not terrible to look at."

"Koke?" Sergio scoffs. "We both know that you could never be interested in a man who never picked up the sword." He wiggles his eyebrows. "Now, on the other hand, they say Prince Lionel--like you--has commanded Barcelona's armies for years. He's the second son and barely ever attended court. And when he did return home, it was never without a trophy from battle. Apparently, his skill with the sword is unmatched. They call him La Pulga." He quirks his lips. "Think he'd be up for a bout? I'd love to see if what they say is true. And if so, test myself against the best."

Cristiano ignores him. "La Pulga? He's going to be hideous," he murmurs. "I just know it. Probably some uncivilized creature who's disgustingly bloodthirsty and unfit to be seen in our company." He stares down toward the courtyard again, and shudders. "I don't even want to think about it."

The Vampire/Werewolf one is the one I posted a chapter of, yes. It was inspired by some art @detodores did for Cressi week a while back. Here’s some not yet posted :)

The vampire--Leo--looks away, seeming embarrassed. "Yes, but... I'm sorry, it's just feeding is usually just such a private process." He opens his mouth and then closes it like he's rethinking his words. "I fed from two of the wolves from the other pack. They were the ones that volunteered, and I will not betray their names," he says warningly.

"So it did not have to be from all of them?" Cristiano asks, his worries about how much the vampire needed to drink coming to the surface. On the other hand, he's grateful that the rest of his pack can be kept safe and be spared the entire process.

"I realize you are just curious," Leo says with a blink, "however you should be aware that you have just implied I am very promiscuous." He doesn't quite look at Cristiano. "As I said, it is a private process. It can be very... sensual."

Cristiano's cheeks flush as he realizes his misstep. "You're saying it's like fucking," he says, envisioning throttling Sergio for sending him in to do this. Wolves are not shy of their bodies, with the constant shifting leading to the necessity of nudity, but anything leading to actual sexual acts is much rarer and much more sacred.

Leo has no reaction to the crude word. "It can be. Or, it can be simply... meaningful." He sighs. "Blood given is very different from blood taken, despite what you have read or what they show in movies and shows these days. It's about a connection with someone, as well as being about nourishment."

"So it doesn't hurt?" Cristiano asks then, not really wanting to explore this any more than he has to. He's grateful to turn away from the mention of sex and into something else. Of course, he's also somewhat incredulous that such a thing is painless.

"I can make it hurt," Leo says, eyes still not looking at Cristiano. "But I do not. There's no point." He tilts his head as if in thought. "I can not speak for others of my kind. If you are bitten by another vampire, it may not be as I have described."

"So you're not a monster," Cristiano says skeptically, thinking back to the tales of Dracula and trying to replace them with something like a sparkling Edward Cullen.

"Oh, no," Leo says, interrupting his thoughts. "Make no mistake. I am most definitely a monster." He smiles again, and this time, shows two large fangs jutting down from the top of his mouth. They're as white as the rest of him, looking sharp and pointy and dangerous. "Even in this," he pauses and sounds frustrated, "weakened state. I would not call myself anything other than a monster."

"You've killed people then," Cristiano ventures, easing the pressure on his heels even as the conversation does nothing to ease his anxiety.

"Haven't you?" Leo asks, sounding tired again. "The world is not always kind to monsters, is it? And I've lived a very long time. I've had to eat. Had to survive." He closes his eyes again, black lashes stark against his pale skin. "Humans have always been so fragile... It's why I thought working with the wolves would be so beneficial. A way to take humans out of the equation entirely."

"And now your wolves have abandoned you," Cristiano says flatly. "Left you here, in our territory, to die. Because they certainly know we have you. They've had a month to figure that out. And still, they did nothing." He doesn't know why he's trying to drive this point home. Maybe because he hates those wolves and wants Leo to hate them too.

Leo does not reply. 

[jamilelucato]

Best Teacher, Part 3 || Fred Weasley

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Slytherin!reader

Fandom: Harry Potter

Summary: y/N is a pureblood Slytherin best friends with Harry Potter, but not yet that close to the Weasleys until she’s invited to spend Christmas with them.

PART 1 || PART 2

A/N: It’s the last chapter, hope you’re all just excited as I am. I must say, it would have been better if I had published it on Christmas but I just couldn’t wait. So, if you want my advice, reread it on Christmas.

*gif below actually mine and I'm so proud

The first thing you realised when you got out of the bathroom was that you had the wrong wand. At first sight, you had no idea why or how. It was only when you kept on thinking that you remembered when you could have swapped it.

The night before had been... well, interesting, to say the least. You could still feel Fred's touch, even if it had passed hours. Heck! You had showered and you still could smell his perfume on you! 

To any help, once you finally managed to quiet your thoughts and sleep, he was there, visiting you in your dreams, just to kiss you again.

You were not complaining, though. Yeah, yeah, you had a resting bitch face when you got downstairs, which caused Ginny to ask you if anything was wrong.

"Slept on my wrong side, I guess" you answered, short and sharp.

She looked at you like she couldn't recognize the girl in front of her, and, to be fair, neither could you. You tended to be grumpy, especially in the morning, but never that grumpy.

It didn't make sense. You had just been kissed like you had been waiting your whole life to, and now you walked around acting terrible.

The Weasley Twins were not yet on the breakfast table. The boys — all of the boys in the house — were late for breakfast, that was their mom's complaint in the morning.

"I just know they are up to something, I know they are" she finished, seeing you and Ginny walk in. "Good morning, girls".

You tried faking a smile, but it felt too hard so you gave up. Mrs Weasley didn't even notice, going back to the stove, not waiting for a reply. You sat right next to Ginny, avoiding the chair where you were happy to sit one day ago.

"Where are the boys?" Ginny asked. You were not able to conclude if she meant all her brothers or just the twins, but you were curious just like her.

"Percy's in the bathroom" Mr Weasley answered, not showing his face because of the newspaper he held. "Ron and Harry overslept, I suppose."

You started madding up, desperately wanting to know the explanation for Fred and George's disappearance. They were, surprisingly, generally the firsts to eat breakfast and their absence on the table made your stomach boil up.

"Want an egg, dear?" Molly asked you after placing a scrambled egg in front of her daughter.

"No, thanks. Not that hungry today" your answer surprised Mrs Weeasley, but she didn't bother insisting. 

You were avoiding asking about the twins, but after pouring yourself a cup of milk — and remembering the night before — you just couldn't take the unknown anymore. "Where are Fred and George?"

Ginny was the first to look at you, slowly smiling as she was understanding your curiosity. She, before even you, noticed you three were up to something bigger than pranking everyone in the house. You suspected she even knew about the secret midnight getaways, but she was too embarrassed to say a thing. 

Mrs Weasley pointed a finger at you, letting go of the frying panhandle in a gasp. "See? The visitors noticed it is weird!" her voice was louder than before, her eyes wide open at Mr Weasley direction.

The husband let go of his newspaper, which fell on his lap. He rolled his eyes — a habit that you now understood it was very common for the Weasleys.

"Dear Merlin, woman, I believe they are alright. If they were up to no good, we would have known by now" he said, in a fail attempt of calming down his wife.

Molly simply got back facing the house's stove, but she didn't look pleased. "I swear if I catch them doing evil spells again..." but she never finished her threat.

Percy finally got down to the kitchen, sitting at his father's right. "Good morning, family. Good morning, y/N."

You were in no mood of being nice so you just mockingly smiled at him. Ginny chocked with her mug on hand, almost spitting the drink.

Harry and Ron came down the stairs laughing, but their giggles died once they sat on the table. Harry was polite enough to wish us all a good morning, but Ron didn't do so, he just sat next to you with a weird expression on his face.

"Where are the twins?" he asked, realising the missing pieces of the breakfast table.

"They weren't in their rooms," Mr Weasley said, finally revealing to you what you had been most curious about. "So I don't know where they can be."

Alas, that only left you with a lot more questions. What could they possibly be doing? Was it your fault? Could Fred have asked for his twin's help to disappear from the house just because you kissed him? If that was the case, good Merlin, your mood for the morning was less than appropriate. That was it. Fred hated you and was disgusted by the kiss. You were a shame for your name.

"They are not planning on dye my hair again, are they?" Ron asked, facing you. 

You shook your head. "Don't ask me, I don't quite understand those two myself" you replied, drinking all your milk with one gulp.

Ginny was about to burst into laughter, so she filled her mouth with her mom's scrambled eggs. Ron, on the other hand, kept on staring at you, like he was trying to catch something you didn't say. Harry looked at you sympathetically but said nothing.

Even after breakfast, Mrs Weasley and Mr Weasley kept on arguing about their missing kids, and you were eavesdropping, in hopes to listen to anything at all that could contain important information.

"That's rude, did you know?" Harry's voice whispered. You looked back to face the boy that had a smile. He sat next to you on the couch while you closed the book you held in case you needed a disguise since that didn't work out.

"It's just... I'm worried" you confessed, unwilling to pretend. Harry was the one you used to tell everything, so why not this? He might be able to help you, anyway.

"They're fine. They got my invisibility cloak this morning, so I think it's some prank they're organising" Harry explained, pressing his lips together at the end of the sentence. He seemed more worried about you than the boys, and you thought that could only mean you didn't have to worry.

"You allowed it?" you asked, knowing how much that cloak meant to Harry.

"I owe them a lot. Besides, they'll return it to me." he shrugged.

You stared at your best friend for a while, not knowing what to say. One thing was telling him that you were concerned about the twins' escape; telling him that you might have feelings for Fred was a whole other.

Harry Potter sighed. "Look, I don't know how to say this but... I'm sure he feels the same"

His commentary caught you by surprise.

"What?"

"Fred Weasley," Harry said, like that explained everything. Noticing you were still very much confused, he added: "This mix of thing you're feeling, he's totes feeling the same"

You raised an eyebrow at that information. There was a reason for you to have been friends with Harry besides all the odds — you two understood each other in a level that no other two persons have ever. It was like that when you found him about to cry on your second year, and it was like that right now, with him staring at you as he knew of your secrets.

"Am I that obvious?" you asked, giggling nervously.

He smiled, sympathetic. "I don't think so 'cause he and Ron haven't noticed it yet"

"Ron?" you replied, perplexed, which caused Harry to laugh a bit too loud.

"Yeah... He thinks you plan on killing his brother or something" he revealed. "I don't blame him, you do look at Fred sometimes like you want to explode his head"

"Yes! Because he's so dimwitted!" your exclamation made you both burst into laughter, so much, you lost your breath. 

It was good talking to Harry and realising your friendship was still pure and genuine, even if Harry's life was in danger all the time and you sounded like a spoiled child.

"Wait a minute" once you calmed down, a question popped in your head "When you say only Fred and Ron doesn't know about — hmm my crush, let's say — you mean that the rest of the family knows?"

"Well of course! George is even jealous of how much time you two have been spending together!" Harry said, leaning closer to you "Ginny thinks it's cute, on the other hand"

You glanced at him, with smirk "Ginny, huh? Talking to her a lot, are we?" He rolled his eyes. 

"Don't be stupid" his phrase made you start laughing all over again.

***

When George and Fred finally showed up, the sun was almost gone.

Molly Weasley awaited for them close to the front door, holding somewhat of kitchen utensil, that you weren't able to recognize due to the distance.

You, Ginny, Ron, Percy and Potter were having a picnic outside. After the food was all eaten, Percy got back to his room, but the rest of you stayed there, laying on the tablecloth on the grass, watching the clouds and making jokes. 

It was Ron that first saw his brothers arriving because he heard his mom's screams. To be fair, it didn't take long for all of you to hear her screams as well.

Ron desperately wanted to get up and be closer to the scene, but Ginny advised him it'd be better to stay. His mom could start punishing him too.

"WHERE WERE YOU TWO??" Molly asked, making herself heard all around the neighbourhood.

Fred had Harry's cloak on his hands, you recognized it, but he also had a bag in his hands that you didn't know what could it be.

George looked scared of his mom, so he was the first to talk. Although you couldn't hear him — differently from his mom, he wasn't screaming —, you imagined he was explaining where they went 'cause he held up to white plastic bags.

"YOU COULD HAVE WARNED ME! OR LEAVE A NOTE! THERE WERE SO MANY ALTERNATIVES!" Molly pointed out, making the twins duck their heads.

You could swear you heard they say "I'm sorry" and then she let them in. Not before exclaiming "After you come back from Hogwarts, you won't be allowed out of the house!"

You wondered if she was gonna remember that punishment once they were back.

"Where do you think they were?" you asked Ginny.

"I think they went to buy presents," Ginny said, not looking at you, still facing the house entrance.

"HA! As if our brothers would buy us anything" Ron had a weird face on and got up as soon as he realised the path was clear.

"I didn't say it was for us" Ginny replied, turning slowly to face you. 

It didn't take long for the rest of the eyes to fall upon you too.

"Bloody hell" grunted Ron, before rolling his eyes and forcing Harry to leave with him.

***

Christmas Eve was an event of not much importance at the y/L/N household. Her mom would make the house-elves put on some decorations for Christmas, like a tree and maybe some lights, but that was that. They would have a bigger than the already big dinners the house had, y/N's parents would give her presents, and after that, they'd go to bed. 

No hugging near the fireplace, no jokes about the holiday and no visit of the rest of the family to fill the house. To feel a bit less lonely,  you used to ask the three house-elves of the house to eat with you at the table, however, they generally refused. To make it up, you'd leave after dinner to eat some cake with them in the kitchen.

All that way of celebration was nothing close to the Weasleys' Christmas Eve. After the twins' arrival, Molly Weasley put all the kids to work, instructing you where to put every single decoration she had stored, and she had a lot. Percy and Mr Weasley got responsible for the tree, and they did a pretty good job with it.

Ginny would make you laugh now and then because she used to stop decorating the walls to put the ornaments on herself.

Although avoiding each other, you'd lock eyes with Fred from time to time, you simply couldn't avoid it. To break the stares, Ginny would fake cough right next to you, in a way of calling out your attention. It helped, because, you were not in the mood to gaze at Fred. 

Ok, it might have been you the one to run away after the kiss, but it was in the middle of the night. Besides, he was the one missing in the next morning, so, some part of your brain decided that he should be the one to talk to you first. The only problem was that he didn't seem ready to do so.

"Dinner's ready, kids!" Mrs Weasley called out for you all.

You followed Ginny, sitting right next to her like you had done it in the morning. Fred faced you, confused by your change of seats, but he didn't say a thing. Molly had prepared such a big feast that you were surprised she could have done it all on her own. Of course, the meal at your house was way bigger, but you couldn't blame her, she just didn't have house-elves for the rescue.

"It tastes like Heaven, Mrs Weasley!" you exclaimed, unable to contain your pleasure for the deliciousness that woman had prepared.

The Weasleys' mom smiled shyly, her cheeks turning red. "Well, thank you, y/N! It's nice to hear such a good compliment! You guys should learn with her."

The way she replied made you selfconscious. Ron immediately faced you, with an angry look, like you had ruined his whole life. Mr Weasley and Percy were smiling at your politeness, but you couldn't see because you were facing the only one you shouldn't.

Fred Weasley lifted his eyes from his food to you, trying to hide his smile. The truth was that he was really happy to see you hit it off with his mom.

"Oh, and dear, what did I say about my name?" Mrs Weasley said, forcing you to face her instead of Fred, which you were thankful.

"Sorry, Molly" you replied, using her name. She smiled back at you.

*** After everyone got full with not only the dinner but also the dessert, Molly cleaned the table without letting you get up.

"Wait, you fools. I want to give you your presents" she said, getting up from her chair. She got a plastic bag from somewhere behind her seat and started distributing what looked like handmade winter clothes.

"There you go, husband... Percy... Dear Ginny" she stopped herself to kiss her daughter's forehead. "Harry, I got you something too. As well for you, y/N, just let me find it" she sank her hand further into the bag.

"Oh, but there was no need, Mrs... Molly" you said, correcting yourself along the away.

"Nonsense" she returned, finally getting what she looked for from the bag. "Fred and George, here you go."

"Matching scarfs! Nice!" Fred commented, smiling to his brother. They wrapped the scarf around each other's necks.

"Now, we can look identical!" George added, making his mom roll her eyes.

"Here's yours, Harry" she gave Harry a black scarf, that had an 'H' in one of its ends. She turned herself at you, holding a golden-like scarf, much like the ones with the twins. "I had trouble with yours, dear. Ginny warned me you were coming at the last minute and..."

"Hey, no worries, Molly. You didn't even need to give me something!" you thanked her, interrupting her attempt of justification. She then let you get the scarf from her hands. You weren't wrong to think it was like the twins' one. It was one of the twins' one, Fred's actually because there was a big 'F' in one of its ends.

"I didn't realise I had already done one for Fred" she started, ducking her head, afraid of your reaction. "If you'd like, I can redo it until the end of the holiday, and, you know..."

"Molly, Molly" you interrupted, holding her arm, trying to calm her down. "It's ok. I like it this way."

"Damn right she does" Ginny muttered, and you kicked her under the table.

"Besides, I don't think Fred has a problem with it, do you, Freddie?" you asked, finally facing him. 

He was caught by surprise, swallowing hard before returning with a quick comment. "The 'F' looks good on you" and then he winked, making you blush.

Mrs Weasley seemed relieved of the way you handled things and smiled to you. "I'm glad you are here this year with us. I'll hope you'll come next years"

"Oh, she will," Ginny remarked again just so she could win another kick of yours.

"I have presents for you all as well. I mean, I couldn't come without presents" you said, getting up. "Just wait."

You left to Ginny's room, so you could get the presents you had bought at Hogsmeade for all of them. You even had caught presents for Bill and Charlie, because you didn't know they wouldn't be there.

"You didn't have to, dear," said Molly Weasley when you got back to downstairs. You nodded, "It's almost nothing, I mean, I got you all some candy from Honeydukes", you smiled showing your teeth, "It's barely a present."

You started passing the candy to everyone since they were all the same, it didn't matter to who you were giving.

"Well, thank you," Mr Weasley said, causing your cheeks to turn red. He was a very poilite but quiet man, quite different from the rest of the family.

"I've got ones to Bill and Charlie as well, 'cause I didn't know they wouldn't come. Can you give it to them, Molly?" you asked, politely.

"Sure," she said, running her hand to your back.

"What about our candy?" Fred and George asked together, which caused the table to laugh.

"Well, I knew there were things more important than candy for you two, so..." you got the last items inside the bag you had in your hands, "Bilton Blimes told me these were things you have been looking for ages but were never able to find."

The twins looked at you shocked, both their mouths wild open, which caused you to laugh. "I'd say after this morning you guys don't deserve it..."

"They don't" an angry Molly Weasley commented.

"...but I wouldn't use it anyway" you continued, giving them their precious little toys.

Percy was the only one at the table that was not laughing at Fred and George's faces. Even Molly gave in, giggling a little.

"Now, off of here, I need to clean up" she ordered, probably desperate to hide her smile from her kids.

Mr Weasley stayed with his wife, to help her with the dishes, which you thought was too cute of him. Percy was the first to leave the table, followed by Harry, Ron and Ginny, they were playing with each other, trying to steal one another candy. You just rolled your eyes at them.

"Thank you, so, so much, y/N!" exclaimed Fred, walking in your direction, holding his little toy in his hands, unable to take his eyes off of it.

"Yeah, y/N, thanks! If my brother isn't keeping you, I'd gladly do it!" George said, laughing. Fred slapped his back, but the twin didn't even move. He left the kitchen faster, leaving you and Fred on the slow walk you two were doing.

You didn't want to be the first to talk, but you needed to say something. Fred seemed to be feeling the same, but he didn't open his mouth. When you were brave enough to say something, he started talking with you. "So I" you both started together.

You stared at each other, embarrassed. "You go first," he said at the same time as you. You looked at him, ashamed again, and then you both break into laughs. He touched you in your elbow, suggesting with his eyes to the stairs. You headed that way, sitting on the second step.

"I'm sorry I run away last night" you started saying, avoiding looking at his eyes. He sat next to you. He reached for your hands, leaving the present you had just gave him on the upper step. "I'm sorry I disappeared this morning."

You both stared at each other, taking in a moment to just stay in silence. Neither of you cared to say that it was ok because you knew that wasn't the problem. You weren't worried about the disappearance but worried about what it had meant. What the kiss meant.

"So..." you began but couldn't finish. You weren't brave enough to be the first to mention it and by the looks of it, neither was he.

"I... hm, I've got you something. For Christmas" he said, swallowing dry. "It's in my room."

You didn't know what he was expecting you to say.

"Come, I'll show you" he squeezed your hand, before getting up and helping you do the same.

He guided you through the stairs, without letting go of your hand. He stopped at the sight of a door — you supposed it was his — and opened it, slowly. "Sorry for the mess."

"No worries" you smiled because the room was actually cleaner than what you expected to see from the bedroom of the biggest pranksters of Hogwarts.

He had to let go of your hand to kneel before his bead, to get something that was underneath it.

"Here," he said, getting up. "Take it, it's yours."

You took the box from his hands, scared of what could be inside. 

"It's not a prank, come on" he smiled, noticing you were afraid to open it.

You undid the lace, taking the cover of the box. Inside, your wand looked like as if it was just new.

"We swapped it" he pointed out, while you took your wand of the box. It felt nice to have it in your hands once again. 

His wand, the one you've been carrying around all day was placed on your boot. You bowed to get it and returned it to the rightful owner. "Here you go," you said, trying to smile even though you were a little disappointed with his gift.

He giggled at you while getting his wand. "That's not your present, y/N. Look closer to the box."

After hs advise, you came upon noticing the box had a spell, probably the Undetectable Extension Charm. You reached further inside the box, trying to find whatever Fred could have hidden.

"It's a quaffle!" you exclaimed, getting the ball outside of the box. It looked new, its red appearance shining.

Fred giggled at your reaction.

"Why a quaffle?" you asked, confused with the quidditch ball chasers use to score. Yeah, you had learned a couple of things.

"Well, I saw how happy you get playing quidditch and I want you to keep on playing" he started, looking deep into you eyes "I like seeing you happy."

He shrugged like he had said something of the least importance. You stood on tiptoe so you could reach him and kissed him on the cheek. 

He swallowed, his cheeks turning redder than his hair. "You'll keep on playing?"

"Of course! If you keep on being my teacher" you suggested, satisfied with your attempt of sassiness.

"Oh, you are a keeper" he commented, making you chuckle because of the double meaning of the sentence. It made you even happier once you realised that he might have been using the word's double meaning from the very beginning.

"FRED WEASLEY, WHERE ARE YOU?" you listened to a scream, probably coming from the living room.

"MOM, I'LL BE DOWN IN A SECOND!" he shouted back, making you laugh hard.

"WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? IT'S ALMOST MIDNIGHT!" his mom shouted back. Fred rolled his eyes.

"I wonder if she noticed that I'm not downstairs as well" you pointed out, holding the quidditch ball with only one hand.

"Ginny must have covered you up, which I see George wasn't able to do for me," Fred said, his tone showing discomfort.

"Then, let's go. What are you waiting for?" you said, reaching for his hand to take him downstairs. It was funny, you tough, coping his mom's words.

"For this" he answered, taking his free hand at your waist, pulling you closer to him. The encounter of bodies made you let go of the quaffle, that fell upon the floor without any noise.

Fred leaned in, pressing his lips against yours. This time, there was no hush. You both have been waiting to repeat that for so long, that when it finally happened it was like the world had stopped just to let you two kiss in peace.

He embraced you tighter and tighter, and although, you needed time out for breathing, you didn't let go of each other.

You didn't know how long had passed when you finally got away from each other.

"Merry Christmas" Fred wished you, his voice a bit rough from the long snogging session.

You smiled at him.

"Merry Christmas, Fred."

[joeys-piano]

Fic Writer Wrapped - 2021 Edition

Tagged by @flowercrown-bard

Disclaimmer: as of answering these questions, there’s one more fanfic for me to post before my 2021 writing year is complete. So for the first two questions, bear in mind that I’m including this unposted fic into my stats~

How many stories did you complete?

I finished 59 stories this year. I don’t know how it compares to my previous writing years. But considering that this is my only year with one (1) incomplete work and I completed 59 others, I did really well~! My goal this year was to make finishing things a habit, and I’d say I succeeded and exploded my expectations.

What is your total word count for the year?

My total word count for 2021 is 95,595 words. That’s promising because I haven’t written that many words since 2017-2018. It feels good that I’m gradually becoming more serious with my writing; I’m carving time to do what I love, and am figuring how I can keep up with what I want to do in a sustainable manner. Or, so I manage.

What fandoms did you write in this year?

Harry Potter

Maritime RPF / Object and Concept Anthropomorphism

Bungou Stray Dogs

Did you write more, less, or roughly about what you expected?

My goal for 2021 was to post 50k words onto AO3. I almost doubled that goal. You tell me if I’ve written more or not xD

What’s your favorite story of the year?

A Light in the Attic -- a 394-worded tomarry fic. It has the perfect amount of cuteness, coziness and it’s such a feel-good story. I’ve reread this story around 6 or 7 times since posting it because it’s great for stress relief, and I just feel happier. And it’s one of my most memorable sleepy cuddles fics that I’ve done.

What is your most underappreciated story of the year?

Definitely What We Savor ‘til We Part -- a 8.1k+ tomarry fic and my longest tomarry fic as of date. I think it’s for several reasons: 1) my story introduction was around 2k long and I think that was way too long for people to sit through before diving into the tomarry content they were promised in the summary; 2) my paragraphs were really, really big so that scared people; and 3) I know pacing was an issue because it can feel ridiculous to sit for an 8k+ story that only has two scenes and you’re just sitting in on a moment between two characters while they’re cuddling in bed. All of that combined made it an enormous ordeal to get through.

I didn’t understand, or I purposely ignored those faults, when I first posted the story and was disappointed that it didn’t get the love I thought it would. I thought this was my best work, and it pained me to see that the engagement fell flat. But 7 months later and I’m looking back at this fic, I can understand why engagement was low and why not many readers wanted to take a chance with this work.

And to those readers, I don’t fault you if this story isn’t for you. But if you’re curious or want to know why I had high expectations for this fic, it was because this story ultimately shaped how I’ve written for Tom and Harry since May of this year to now. I realized what kind of Tom I wanted to write for, what kind of Harry resonated with me, and how I wanted to play with their dynamic and what was a lot of fun for me. And it’s really a sweet story about Tom realizing the depth of how much Harry cares for him and that vulnerability was delicious in the best way.

Biggest fanfic-related disappointment of 2021?

Other than expectatictions vs. reality being wildly different for certain works, I can pinpoint a disappointment that was the grand-daddy of them all. I’d say it’s a slap in the face when a work you’ve spent days on, when a work you’ve had the most emotional, physical or mental pain working on it because it exhausted you to that extent, isn’t well-received. But something you spent 4 hours on for a laugh has double, triple the amount of love.

It’s made it hard for me to do the stories I want to do. Because it doesn’t feel worth it to do something seriously, knowing that people aren’t going to give it a chance. And I know the common counterargument is that I should create what I want regardless of engagement, but my concern and that counterargument are not mutually exclusive. They can coexist on the same plane and it still hurts regardless.

Biggest fanfic-related surprise of 2021?

That the writers I admire, look up to and are excited about view me the same way: they admire what I’ve done and enjoy what I’ve created, some look to me as inspiration because they like the way I write, and some never fail to share my works and flail with me when a project’s posted because they share in my excitement. And that’s such a feeling.

Something you look forward to working on in 2022?

There’s a duelling fic I’m excited for because I’ve spent the past few months choreographing the fight sequences and strategies the characters will be using. It’s going to be so, so much fun because I love a good action scene.

People I'm tagging (no pressure at all) -> @duplicitywrites, @ladderofyears, @vdoshu, @immxrtalbi, @dividawrites, @neurowriter14, @amarillis39

[gffa]

I was talking with @himboskywalker​ about Tolkien and fandom and fic, because I’m always curious where people’s “area” of the wider Legendarium are at, whether they’re a fan of the Dwarves or the Humans or the Elves or the Valar or what!  (As a surprise to absolutely no one, the Elves are where my heart is at, where I very much love the Noldor, but if you give me a choice I’m going to run over to that Sindar-centric fic every time.) Which got us onto the topic of fic recs, where, yes, I’ve done a LOT of Tolkien fic recs but I tend to read something of a wide variety and this is a list specifically aimed at those who are familiar with the wider Tolkien world, but haven’t really read much fic and want to know where to start! Other Recs First: - If you haven’t gotten further into Tolkien’s work (like say beyond the movies), I’ve done something of a primer here, which includes fic recs and brief explanations and links to videos that help explain some things.  It’s not as hard as it seems to get involved, honest! - Some other fic recs here, as an addition to the above. - My Tolkien blog (which I haven’t been on in awhile, though, I haven’t let it go in my heart yet) has, I’m not kidding, A LOT of fic recs, I did recs regularly for about three years, so it’s almost as massive as my collection of SW recs. If I Could Only Pick Three To Start You With: ✦ And What Happened After by thearrogantemu - This is the fic that took me from enjoying the Silm characters to diving face-first into really loving them, because it wove such an engaging story about the characters sailing to Aman at the end of LOTR, where various characters you wouldn’t think interacting would be as meaningful as they are, but the fic absolutely sells them on it.  Frodo and Feanor having a conversation about language?  Sam and Maglor sharing a boat to the West?  These things are amazing, as this is a fic about healing and what it means to sail into the Undying Lands.  Also, it has a Feanor and Fingolfin reunion that literally put tears in my eyes. ✦ Interrupted Journeys by ellisk - I’m generally not someone who does a lot of rereading of fic just because I have so many new ones to get to, but I’ve read my favorites in this series (parts 3 to 5 are my sweet spot especially) probably four times through now because “Elfling Legolas growing up in Greenwod with a whole cast of characters around him, as the Shadow so very, very slowly creeps towards them” may sound somewhat simple, but the worldbuilding here is off the scale.  The weaving in of how much the First Age and various Elven politics influenced Thranduil’s ruling of a Silvan people is a major theme, but it’s also good parents raising that precious Elfling right and he and his cousins+friends getting into all sorts of mischief, so it’s balanced between humor and drama in the exact amounts I want.  You can skip the first two fics and jump into the third if you like, which is when Legolas is introduced, but I enjoy the whole thing. ✦ Return to Aman OR Quenta Narquelion by bunn - I can’t pick between these two, they’re both incredible.  Return to Aman is basically “Elrond grabs Maglor and drags him to Aman with them” and it breaths such incredible lift into all the characters of Aman, it doesn’t negate the terrible things the Feanorians did, but neither does it negate Elrond’s love for them and his biological family, too.  It’s another fic that’s about healing and forgiveness and it made me glow to read it.  Quenta Narquelion is basically “Feanor refused the call of Mandos after he died and everything started to snowball from there” and it’s an absolutely heartbreaking look at all our Problematic Fave Feanorians and how they were once good people trying to do the best they could, but bit by bit they slipped into the dark.  It’s especially amazing for capturing the complexities of Feanor, as he hovers over his children as a spirit and it really brought me around on his character. The Silmarillion and other First Age Batshit Faves: ✦ The Starlit Sky by Cirth is the fic that really made me get the potential of reading about Maedhros and Maglor raising Elrond and Elros, where it does such a fantastic job of showing that there was genuine affection there, even the midst of all the angst and trauma and pain.  You really get why Elrond could never give up on them, after reading this fic. ✦ In Courts of Living Stone by ncfan - “What if Maeglin never left Nan Elmoth and instead, several decades later, found himself on an errand to Menegroth and developed a relationship with Finduilas instead?” isn’t a fic I expected to capture my heart, but boy did it ever.  Beautiful characterization and beautiful writing, it really captured my imagination, but also gave me ALLLLLL the Maeglin feelings, as well as made me pine that this Finduilas couldn’t have been more common in fandom. ✦ naught but the shores and the sea by ncfan is more of Elrond and Maglor, where it’s an AU that has Elrond finding Maglor after the disastrous attempt to recover the Silmarils and I loved it a lot. ✦ The Crane Wife by Trebia is one that takes an underused character from Tolkien (Lalwen, in this case) and breathes this incredible life into her, gives her personality and joy and sorrow and meaning and, look, any fic that can convince me that Thranduil would marry a Noldo and utterly believe it, you know it’s well-written! The Second Age Is Kind of Quiet in Fandom But I Love It Regardless: ✦ The Art of Long-Distance Grandparenting by Kazaera is a lovely and bittersweet (but mostly lighter in tone) fic about the separation of the Sea between family members and does a wonderful job with Idril’s character, as she tries to stay connected to her grandchildren while being so distant from them and unable to see them, unless they choose to come to Aman.  There’s joy to be found here and it’s a lovely read. ✦ Relativity by French Pony is a lovely look at the final meeting between Elrond and Elros and strikes the right amount of bittersweetness, where it’s awkward and difficult and heartbreaking, but also feels natural and like this was how it was meant to be.  I had many, many Elven Twin feelings during the whole thing.  (I like all their fic, they’re worth checking out their other stuff for, too!) ✦ A Thing or Two About Elrond by Crookneck is a series of fics about Elrond and the various relationships he has--with Celebrian, with his children, with Gil-Galad, etc.--and I remember being really charmed by all of them and how much shit Elrond has seen over the course of his life. The Third Age, Lord of the Rings Version: ✦ Boromir's Return by Osheen Nevoy - This one is sort hard to summarize, but it’s basically “Boromir lives, makes a friend, and slowly changes everything about the LOTR plot”, but it’s so much more than that, where the worldbuilding is phenomenal, the pacing is incredible, it made me fall in love with Boromir as a character all over again, it contains probably the best portrayal of Denethor I’ve ever read in fandom, and I really loved the OC and so on.  It’s utterly engrossing and honestly I cannot recommend it highly enough, even if you’re not usually into this sort of thing. ✦ The River by Indigo Bunting is a fic where Legolas and Sam get separated from the others for a brief time and I love fics that take two characters who don’t interact much, throw them into an intense situation, and sees what happens.  It’s not precisely a light-hearted fic, it’s very intense, but it’ll make you fall in love with the sheer good in both characters and the friendship they develop.  It’s brilliantly written and I cannot recommend it enough. ✦ A Bit of Rope by Aiwendiel is a fic where Gandalf doesn’t fall at Moria and it changes everything--not necessarily for the better.  The slow, creeping sense of things changing, things going just a little bit worse here and there, until you realize how much darker the Fellowship’s journey could have been, was brilliantly done, and one I thought did justice to the idea, it’s not grimdark, there’s still light and hope here, but it makes you feel like, oh, maybe things happened as they did for a reason, even as hard as that seemed sometimes.  Gorgeously plotted and utterly engrossing. The Third Age, Mirkwood Version: ✦ daw the minstrel has an entire series of fics about Legolas growing up in Mirkwood and there’s absolutely a reason why she was one of the most well-known authors in that corner of fandom.  Her ability to create new characters (including two brothers for Legolas) was incredible, I cared so much about the family dynamics and got swept up in the drama (which was in a very loving family, but Legolas was definitely a mischief-seeker) and they’re fantastic.  If you find yourself in something of a stretch with too many OCs and your attention wavers, you can always skip around, they don’t have to be read in order and a lot of the non-canon characters can be skimmed over, imo. ✦ In a Field of Blood and Stone by ScribeofArda is so much better than what The Hobbit movies gave us of the Battle of Five Armies, it does such beautiful justice to the complicated character of Thranduil and Legolas, not sacrificing the warmth there for how difficult these times are and the war they find themselves in the middle of.  This Bard is also really engaging and fun to read--I read pretty much the entire novel’s worth in, like, a day or two because I could not put this one down. ✦ Swordplay and Swimming by cliodna_bright has an incredible meeting where Thranduil comes to visit Rivendell, runs into Elladan and Elrohir, who are young enough that they speak without thinking, and it’s not precisely a humor fic, but I was screaming the entire time because it’s so sharply written and so absolutely delightful, I LOVE IT. ✦ Deep and Crisp and Even by rivlee made me fall in love with how Elves and humans may look very similar, but there’s this sense of otherworldliness to the Elves, as shown through Bard’s eyes when he has a meeting with Thranduil.  Beautifully written and just the right amount of atmospheric. The Fourth Age Where Everything Actually Does Mostly Work Out: ✦ Far Horizons by Bodkin is the Fourth Age fic of my heart, where the various Elves that we came to know in Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit are all in Aman and decide to build their own realm there.  Which is difficult because Elven Politics even just amongst themselves, much less clashing with all the established politics of the other Elven realms in Aman!  But it’s a light-hearted fic (for the most part) that’s about healing and moving forward, balancing their ties to their history versus that Middle-Earth changed them, and I love it for soothing my soul.  (Thranduil sailed, you can’t tell me otherwise!!!)(Bonus moments of Glorfindel being pretty hilarious.)  I like all of bodkin’s work, but this one has a special place with me. ✦ Age of Healing by trollmela is one where Maedhros and Legolas have a conversation in Aman and it’s about the bittersweetness of healing and how difficult it is, taking two characters who would never have met in canon and weaving something entirely engaging and poignant out of it. Collections That Span The Ages: ✦ This Taste of Shadow by Mira_Jade - This is a collection of dozens of various shorter stories (or sometimes 10k “ficlets”) that you can largely skip around in if you have specific characters you like or you can just start at the beginning and read through.  It contains looks at pretty much everyone, from Maedhros to Galadriel to Thranduil to Elrond to Caranthir to Glorfindel to the Valar, etc.  I’ve enjoyed pretty much everything I’ve read in this collection! ✦ Fiondil's Tapestry and Tales from Vairë's Loom by Fiondil are in the same vein and I have really enjoyed everything I’ve read from both of them!  I especially remember that there was one chapter that had a scene between Thranduil and Cirdan and thinking, ahhhh, why has no one ever written that before!? as an example of the neat things it does.  But also lots about Elrond and Glorfindel and the Valar and so on! This probably doesn’t feel like a super extensive list, but those collection series will give you an excellent spanning of Elves, Humans, Dwarves, Hobbits, etc., not just the same central characters, but giving time to a lot of lesser focused ones as well.  Like, I feel I’ve read a fair chunk of Elwing fic, but I couldn’t point you to a specific one in my list of recs, which means I’m pretty sure it was in the collections ones or else she got some good scenes in one of the Aman-based fics, so I swear the above is at least a solid place to start for dipping one’s toe into Tolkien fic. AS ALWAYS, OTHER PEOPLE’S RECS ARE WELCOME, god knows I haven’t read anything in the last two years (and will have missed a lot even before that) and so I always need more recs, too!

[musingsofthesky]

Hello! I’ve been following you for a while now and really like seeing all your fanfiction recommendations so I have a question: do you have any desert island stories? Ones that you could never get tired of? Any fandom! Im curious about dc ones though XD

Absolutely!! I’m so honored that you enjoy my fic recs omg. I haven’t been reading very much dc fic lately but I have a lot of desert island fics in this fandom. It was really really hard not to just list every fic in my ao3 bookmarks but these are some of the ones that I reread the most: 

(also I can’t remember everyone’s tumblr urls so if anyone knows the ones I have missing/see their own work and want to be mentioned here please let me know!)

Vilomah

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22207630/chapters/53022322

Summary: Thomas and Martha Wayne lost their son Bruce in the back street behind a theater in Park Row, a seedy neighborhood in Gotham now known as Crime Alley. Years later two boys show up and claim to be the adopted children of their long dead son and, well, let's just say stranger things have never happened.

OR

Tim and Jason accidentally stumble into a universe where Bruce Wayne died and Thomas and Martha lived.

Minimum Height Requirement

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12694770/chapters/28947333

Summary: Somewhere in the multiverse, there's a universe where letting his children dress up in capes and follow him into vigilantism seems like a good idea.

Bruce is determined that it isn't going to be this one . . . Despite his children's repeated attempts to convince him otherwise.

(Or: "When you're eighteen, you can do what you want. Until then, no capes.")

Latchkey by @goldkirk

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21672928/chapters/51685639

Summary: or, How Tim Drake Found A Family, Became A Photojournalist, Learned To Love Coffee, and Grew Up, not necessarily in that order.

Tim Drake is thirteen, runs the famous BatWatch blog that has spiraled hilariously out of control, has absentee parents that suit his purposes just fine, is training himself to run the streets at night, and is doing absolutely peachy, thank you.

Alfred and Jason disagree, and get Dick and Bruce involved in figuring out their weird nextdoor neighbor kid’s life. Everything goes uphill from there.

Come Alive

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17455574/chapters/41103026

Summary: Dick went to Infinity Island on a mission to rescue three. He never expected to return with an additional two. None of them did. AU of 3x06.

(Spoilers for YJ Season 3 ahead)

We’re Not in Crime Alley Anymore by @chimaerakitten

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10963506/chapters/24406599

Summary: When Bruce returned to the car that night, it was a nine-year-old holding the tire iron, not a young teen. Somehow, Jason Todd at nine was even more precocious than Jason Todd at 12. Bruce has his work cut out for him.

Taking Flight: A Tragicomedy in Four Acts by @novangla

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14064618/chapters/32400666

Summary: John and Mary Grayson die; Dick becomes Robin. This is everything that happens in between, a/k/a, how Gotham City ripped one family and identity from Dick and gave him another.

An origin story in the Rebirth spirit, weaving together threads from Tec #40, Dark Victory, Robin: Year One, New 52, and more.

Dick just wanted to go back to the circus, to go back to his normal life, waving to crowds and flying through the air. But instead he was in a giant cave under a giant mansion in (outside of?) Gotham, swiftly becoming part of a billionaire's cobbled-together family and trying to solve a murder. And the worst part? He sort of liked it.

An Act of Mercy by @shirokokuro

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19036840/chapters/45214630

Summary: "You're gonna be okay," Tim keeps saying. "I'm here. We're almost home. You're gonna be okay."

Or, that time Bruce gets hit with Fear Toxin.

Stubborn by @audreycritter

https://archiveofourown.org/works/9425156/chapters/21334268

Summary: Dick is usually the one taking care of everyone else and he's bad at asking for help.

So bad, in fact, that he never even actually asks-- but Jason shows up anyway.

And then Dick returns the favor. And then they both do for Tim. And it's just going to keep going from there.

It's probably Alfred's fault. When your butler mom calls and says, "Go check on your brother," you don't argue. You just do it.

a burden shared by @renecdote

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18813457

Summary: Diana puts a hand on his shoulder. “He’s going to be okay, Bruce.”

The gauntlets creak as Bruce clenches his fists. “You don’t know that,” he says, haggard and cracking around the edges.

Diana’s hand shifts up, cupping his face, fingers scraping over the stubble shadowing his jaw. “I believe it.”

Robin is injured. Bruce is worried. Clark and Diana offer comfort.

The Jingle Jangle Morning (also by audreycritter)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19792300

Summary: Dick’s first overnight field trip without Bruce doesn’t go as well as planned.

In My Arms by @lurkinglurkerwholurks

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20728655

Summary: There was nothing he could do. Nothing he could change. Those were the rules of the past. Besides, babies cried all the time, even if this was less a cry and more of an angry wail from a little one pushed past its limits.

But still. He should have been on his way.

He likely would have been, had this been a different home.

[notthatiwilleverwriteit]

Hey I saw your answer about akigetsu and damnnn it was such a good read. They always manage to bring so many emotions in me. Also I saw that you mentioned you might have shipped akiharu if they were executed differently.. how do you mean? I too think that haruki and akihiko would have been better off as friends sigh. Last thing, hiiragi and shizu what's your thoughts? XD

Hello, dear haffi-shipper!

I have kept your ask waiting for a long time, but I think I’m finally getting around to answer you. To be honest, I’m still not completely sure what I want to say or how to convey it exactly but I don’t think further mulling is going to make much difference. So, let’s get to this finally!

“I saw that you mentioned you might have shipped akiharu if they were executed differently.. how do you mean?”

Here is the previous AkiUgetsu answer you are referring to. In it, I talked about why I think they dragged their relationship on for so long even though it was clearly painful for both of them after becoming roommates. I also said this in the end about AkiHaru:

Then there is also the development of AkiUgetsu to AkiHaru to consider. Now, I feel like I have to make something clear before entering this part of my answer. I do not ship AkiHaru. In fact, it’s probably my Given NOTP. Personally, I don’t see any romantic/sexual chemistry between them and I think they would have been better off as friends regardless of how AkiUgetsu ended. For me to feel their relationship, I think their development should have been executed better/differently.

Before I get to your question, let me tell you why it took me so long to come up with my answer and why it threw me in a bit of turmoil.

At first, your ask seemed relatively “easy” to me. I set out to reread the comic from the AkiHaru point of view but as I kept reading, I noticed two things.

First of all, I was rushing through the AkiHaru parts of the story. I was skimming instead of reading and even skipping some panels without paying them proper attention. Catching myself skimming and skipping got me thinking why I was doing it. I knew I couldn’t answer your question with such half-assed work, but it seemed I just couldn’t dig into AkiHaru. After a while, I decided to stop reading and not resume until I had solved this problem. And it turned out your ask was a good chance for me to really take a good look at myself.

As a fair warning, what I’m about to say next might offend someone, especially if you’re an AkiHaru shipper. But those things are the basis for what I have been feeling and going through, so I’d appreciate it if you would at least hear them out. 

I’m pretty sure people who have followed me in the Given fandom know that AkiUgetsu is my OTP through and through. People with whom I’m closer probably also know that my relationship with the AkiHaru folks is…complicated for the lack of a better word.

To me, the Given fandom has been one of the most frustrating fandoms I have been in. Character bashing, ship bashing, bashing disguised as crack, cliques, banning, kicking out, and very passive-aggressive behavior all around. It seems we can barely talk about anything without lowkey offending each other and we seem to lack the ability to keep scrolling if something isn’t to our taste.Now, I fully understand this kind of behavior concerns the whole fandom, though I would say some ships are more peaceful than others and are just doing their thing. But in my experience, it’s the AkiHaru folks who do the lion’s share of dominating the fandom and lowkey silencing people.

Before anyone comes at me, please know that I’m not saying people can’t ship what they want or that everyone has to agree with my personal preferences. I have no problem with people shipping AkiHaru and/or disliking AkiUgetsu. It’s their business and freedom. What I am saying, however, is that I have encountered many Ugetsu/AkiUgetsu fans who feel like they don’t have any space in the fandom. They are hesitant to post about Ugetsu/AkiUgetsu in groups etc. because they are afraid of the avalanche of AkiHaru folks who just can’t keep scrolling. And this hesitance spreads until it seems like you’re all alone in the fandom.

I’m also not saying that every AkiHaru shipper is the same. I’m sure the majority of them are perfectly nice people, and I’m even friends with some of them. It’s just that the most vocal and aggressive of them can act very entitled and as if their endgame ship gives them some kind of moral high ground in the fandom. In other words, if you can’t see the superiority of AkiHaru, there must be something wrong with you.

The reason why I have developed such a strong disliking of AkiHaru is precisely because of the way the AkiHaru fandom behaves. In my time of being in the fandom, AkiHaru has gone from neutral “meh” to a NOTP to me. And that development is why I realized I was rereading the AkiHaru story in such a half-assed way. The canon story of AkiHaru evokes the same frustration, anxiety, and “ugh” reaction in me as the AkiHaru shippers do, and I end up barely being able to read the panels through.

But trying to answer this question made me realize that I haven’t been fair. It’s not right that I’m not giving the ship a fair chance just because I associate it with the fandom. The fandom does have a big role in how people view something in canon, but it’s ultimately up to me if I lowkey deliberately won’t give something a chance. This behavior also goes against what I personally believe because I think that kind of skewed reading leads to biased interpretations. Despite what my personal interests and biases are, I don’t think I can pick and choose what to acknowledge in canon.

So, I was forced to swallow a somewhat bitter pill and take a good look at myself. I had to almost completely rethink my take on AkiHaru which is why it took me so long to work up to this answer.

Another thing that I realized after all the deliberation was that I might come out as AkiHaru curious at the end of this. After the closing of the Given Facebook group I was a member of, I took a step back from the main fandom. I wanted nothing to do with the constant arguments and bashing anymore. I pitched up a little corner for Ugetsu folks and decided I would be content with that space. It’s a small group and will probably never grow big but at least I won’t have that nervous churn of stomach every time I get a notification from the group.

But I think that step back helped me see AkiHaru better and even get more interested in it. My reaction to it isn’t as clouded with my feelings towards the fandom as it used to be. My guard isn’t as high anymore, and I feel like I can give it a proper chance now. I have had some tickles to even try and write AkiHaru. AkiUgetsu still remains as my OTP for sure, but I’m beginning to get some sparks of inspiration from AkiHaru as well.

I’m sorry for the long explanation but I just wanted to make people reading this know where I’m coming from with AkiHaru. Now, finally to your question!

The main “problem” I have with AkiHaru is that I can’t see much romantic chemistry and depth between them. In my eyes, they pale in comparison to what AkiUgetsu had. AkiHaru is cute and fluffy, but I feel like “cute uwu” is where the conversation begins and ends with them. However, that changed a little to me as I kept deliberating. Their relationship started to gain a few more layers but they still don’t really have the kind of complexity and development that would pull me in. I can see they are in a relationship in the comic but I’m struggling to really feel them.

I think stories involving long-term unrequited love are very tricky to execute well. If A has been one-sidedly in love with B for a long time, it’s difficult to make B return those feelings in a way that feels natural and not forced because of the plot. Especially if that change is from friendship to romantic love. In AkiHaru’s case, I could feel Haruki’s unrequited crush on Akihiko but I’m really struggling to feel Akihiko returning those feelings. He confessed to Haruki in canon, but the process of him gaining and discovering those feelings was lost on me.

I think the one of the biggest reasons for that was the 6-month timeskip Kizu decided to take in chapter 28. I do think Akihiko started to see Haruki in a different, more romantic light during his stay before their CAC performance. But I feel like the mental process of his feelings for Haruki taking shape and strengthening to the point of confessing was lost in the timeskip. Akihiko went from inklings of seeing Haruki in a different light to “I wanted to become a better man for you”, and that change in him was basically covered with a couple of panels of him buying Haruki some coffee.

Now, I do realize there were panels of Haruki talking about Akihiko moving out, quitting his part-time jobs, spending more time practicing the violin, and “acting strangely”, but all of that is telling instead of showing. When it comes to something as big as Akihiko going through all that change – the biggest issue I always have with these kinds of stories about unrequited love – the story needs to show the development to me, not tell me.

So, if there was one thing I would have changed in AkiHaru, it would have been that timeskip. I would have loved to see inside Akihiko’s head during all that time and actually see the progress of his feelings and resolve. What does he love about Haruki? How does Haruki make him feel? Don’t just skip all of that and make him confess and say that he’s now trying his best for Haruki. If you compare the way Akihiko was made to fall in love with Haruki to how his story with Ugetsu was told to us, the difference is like night and day.

In some ways, I think AkiHaru lacks the development and care that AkiUgetsu and even UeMafu has. As I said in my earlier answer, the direction from AkiUgetsu to AkiHaru makes sense to me and now I can even appreciate it, but even with my new rereading of AkiHaru, the ship doesn’t bring as much to the table as AkiUgetsu did. It’s fluffy and uwu but where is the rest?

I think this also shows in the fandom’s AkiHaru content. I see a lot of fanart of blushing Haruki and posts raving about cute AkiHaru panels, but I’m struggling to find layers in the fluff-fest. What about conflicts in their relationship? What about how will the downsides of both Haruki and Akihiko’s characters affect their relationship? With these questions I’m talking about the fans’ thoughts and ideas. For example, I would be genuinely interested in AkiHaru folks’ headcanons.

This wraps up the AkiHaru part of my answer. I probably upset some people and I apologize for that, but I feel like I needed to address those things. In the end, I got a lot of things off my chest which helped me clear my own feelings towards AkiHaru. I still prefer to keep my distance from the main (AkiHaru) fandom, but I do realize I hadn’t been fair in my judgment of the ship. There are some things that will most probably always sting in my heart, but I think I have gained some new interest in AkiHaru after giving it a proper chance.

“hiiragi and shizu what's your thoughts?”

ShizuRagi isn’t exactly my area of expertise, but I do love the characters and I’m excited to see them becoming canon. To me, ShizuRagi has the kind of depth and complexity that interests me.

Hiiragi is definitely one of my favorite uke characters in all of the BL I have read. It’s so unbelievably refreshing when an uke is shamelessly head over heels for their seme. I love his inner tsundere simping for Shizusumi. I also absolutely love the confidence, energy, and brilliant shine of Hiiragi. To me, he has the vibe and intelligence of a music producer. But despite all the tough confidence, he is also considerate of his surroundings and worries easily.

Overall, ShizuRagi is probably my second favorite ship after AkiUgetsu. I love the complexity of how Shizusumi feels about Hiiragi. I’m drawn to the darkness he seems to carry and what kind of contrast it creates with Hiiragi’s dazzling shine. The overwhelming and at times a bit intimidating devotion he has for Hiiragi but at the same time feeling like he’s being cast aside by Hiiragi/he’s someone who can’t compete for Hiiragi’s love tickles my angst bone. There is this dark energy in him that wants to both cherish Hiiragi’s light but also seal it off just for himself. In some ways, ShizuRagi reminds me of AkiUgetsu but just with a dynamic that is the kind that “fits” an endgame relationship.

So, yes, double thumbs up for ShizuRagi development!

Thank you for your questions! They proved to be difficult for me on a personal level, but I’m glad I went through that process. Also, thank you for your endless patience waiting for me to get my thoughts sorted out!

[shrinkthisviolet]

Author Interview Tag!

Tagged by @maipreciation, thanks for thinking of me! This looks really fun :D

(Note: I’m keeping this as a running list, so if you’re ever wondering what fics im working on/brainstorming, make sure to check here! Last update was on 12/12/2020)

Name: Lavi! As of 12/5, I’m no longer going by my real name (see this post)

Fandoms: so many 😂 check my bio, I think I have them all listed. I’ve posted fic for Hamilton and ATLA, and then there was a huge Inktober compilation I posted last year with a whole host of fandoms. Currently, my major fandom is ATLA, and probably Kipo as I’m starting to move through S1

Where you post: I have an AO3 (lavi0123)! I used to have an FFN and a Wattpad, but I don’t use either of those anymore :/ tbh, I’m embarrassed of anything I still have up there 😂

Most popular one-shot: Most definitely we’ll give the world to you (and you’ll blow us all away), one of my contributions to Maiko Week! I’m not surprised it’s an ATLA fic, but I find it interesting that a fic with Izumi in it blew up so quickly. But hey, if y’all want more Izumi content, you won’t be disappointed 😉

Most popular multi-chapter fic: ...I’m really embarrassed to say because I don’t think I’ll ever finish it...but En Hamilton Heights is the only multichap fic I’ve published so it’s gotta be that one 😂 hopefully soon I’ll have another fic to add to that, since I’m working on one (sorry EHH fans but it’s been too long and tbh I don’t remember where I was going with it :/ I’m thinking I might orphan it)

Favorite story you’ve written so far: you think this world is a dream come true (but you’re wrong) for sure! It’s super niche but it’s something I wrote out of love for a movie I discovered this Halloween and absolutely love. Though all you’ve got to do is want something (and then let yourself have it) is a close second. Basically, anything I write that sounds absolutely bonkers as a concept is one that I love 😂 (and it’s no coincidence that both fics are Mai-centric! I love all my Mai-centric fics nearly equally)

Fic you were nervous to post: Is there an “all of the above” option? 😂 I’m always nervous to post. But in particular, I was nervous for if you ran away (come back home), because it was Mai-centric and longer than any one-shot I’d written thus far, and also you think this world is a dream come true (but you’re wrong), because it’s Mai-centric and a Coraline AU, which makes it BONKERS as an idea

Why was I nervous to post Mai-centric fics, you ask? Two reasons: 1) Mai is very different from who I am as a person (I vibe a lot more with Aang and Ty Lee, sometimes Katara and Sokka), so I didn’t want to upset the Mai stans by writing her incorrectly. 2) Mai is generally not well-liked in the fandom at large, so I especially didn’t want to attract antis who would accuse me of writing Mai as too emotional and loving (which is why I tried to justify that in my tags). Luckily, my comments have all been lovely, and I’m far less afraid to post fics about her now that I’ve written three fics with her as the focus! And the shoutout from @nonbinary-crafter-aang praising my portrayal of her?? I was touched 🥺 still am

How you choose your titles: Song lyrics or movie/book lines that speak to me, occasionally a pun. Remember that post I rb’d about how authors title their works? My tags pretty much say it all 😂

Do you outline: Ehh...define outlining 😂 for my one-shots, nope. But for my upcoming multichap works (see below) and Nanowrimo work (original fiction, so I won’t talk about it on here, but send an ask if you’re curious), YES ABSOLUTELY!

For my Nanowrimo work and one of my upcoming AUs (a Soulmate AU), the worldbuilding is so complex that it’s an absolute necessity. For the other upcoming AU (a time travel AU), there are just too many things that need to happen at certain times so as not to interfere with canon events, and things I want to change from canon and things I want to keep...I think you get the idea 😂

Complete: Basically my entire maiko halloweek series! Check it out if you want some fics about the most underrated canon ATLA couple :)

In-progress: ...En Hamilton Heights again...but not for long, sadly. Still trying to decide between a quick conclusion and just flat-out orphaning it. Still haven’t made up my mind, but either way, it won’t be what I originally planned, unfortunately.

I’m also counting my ATLA Soulmate AU on the basis of forever in my mind (only you), which has the worldbuilding and fits into the AU without much problem (the AU is going to be a series of one-shots, not a multichap fic, because there won’t be enough deviations from canon imo to justify multiple chapters. And one-shots are just less pressure for me 😂)

[EDIT 12/12/2020: added another fic because I’m an idiot and forgot about this too 🤦‍♀️😂 it’s a year-old idea that I started writing but I’m picking it back up thanks to the Heist banter in MatPat’s St Jude stream!]

-A fic series combining Escape the Night and Who Killed Markiplier (Heist and Date are part of it too, but only tangentially at the moment. Depends on how involved I want DA Y/N to be). Tentatively titled A Heavy Cost, and definitely won’t happen in any of Mark’s projects, but in a way that’s actually for the best 😂 the canonicity for me stops at ETN S3 (with some S4), then it’s canon divergence

Coming soon/not yet started: OOOH YESSS HERE WE GO

Okay okay sooo we’ve got two main things:

–An ATLA Soulmate AU, featuring platonic and romantic soulmates! I know I called it in-progress, and I stand by that even though I haven’t actually set up the series on AO3 yet, but this AU is about to be SO MUCH MORE than just a few Maiko moments. Because...drum roll...it’s gonna be entirely Aang-centric (with maybe one or two exceptions)! Like Mai, Aang is a character that doesn’t get as many -centric fics as he should (and being an Aang stan also isn’t unanimous for some reason??), so I’m gonna fix that. Plus I want to dive further into his mind, and I think I’m more equipped to do that than I was with Mai, since Aang and I are very similar in attitude.

–Bumizumi time travel AU, which can be read as platonic until the last couple chapters (it’ll be multichap) but definitely has a romantic agenda throughout. So just. Be warned if you don’t ship them. It’s gonna be chock full of comedy and antics! Also A LOT of platonic affection between Izumi and teen Zuko (and just between Izumi, Bumi, and the Gaang in general), because platonic affection is underrated and also I can :D I’m also probably gonna make fun of how some elements of affection have become solely romantic territory, because...um, no, hugging and holding hands and cuddling can be done between friends, thanks! (Maybe it’s the ace in me talking. But regardless)

There are also vague concepts I’m spitballing, like:

-Zukaang telepathy AU (Platonic Zukaang, the only romance I’ll ever write in ATLA is for the canon ships, prompted by a dream because apparently ATLA lives in my head rent-free forever now 😂)

-Evil Zuko AU (Azula doesn’t exist, mostly prompted after watching Aang make fun of Zhao and realizing that if Zuko had been in any position of power during the War...the Gaang would have stood no chance at all)

-Bumizumi Arranged Marriage AU (Bumi and Izumi both think the other is hotheaded/reckless (Izumi @ Bumi) or uptight (Bumi @ Izumi). So Kataang and Maiko (along with Sukka, Ty Lee, and Toph because...duh) set them up in an arranged marriage, with the presented reasoning being that they already know each other’s families, it’ll be a great symbol of unity, and this way Izumi doesn’t have to worry about suitors. They both agree to it (it’s arranged, not forced), and over time, they warm up to each other...and maybe even...fall in love?? Prompted because we need more arranged marriage fics! On that note, I’m gonna plug shadows and steel by @dearestpartnerofgreatness because arranged marriage needs more rep and this fic does it and with Maiko to boot!)

-Zukaang as Brothers AU (I saw a fic about this, but it wasn’t complete. If it’s not done by the time I get to this concept, I’m gonna write it, because just...imagine the possibilities! Zuko and Aang are already basically brothers in canon anyway, this is just making them brothers in blood as well as in their hearts. This is especially vague because I have no concept of how this is gonna work 🤷‍♀️ I’ll get to it eventually)

(Can you tell I’m obsessed with Zuko and Aang’s friendship? Because I am!)

[EDIT 11/25/2020: I’m adding two more because I forgot these have been swirling around in my head too 😂]

-A fix-it fic based on May You Always Be Satisfied, a backstory fic for Who Killed Markiplier by @blackaquokat! I recently reread it and remembered that I was gonna write a fix-it for that fic. Not because the fic sucks, it’s actually amazing! I’m just a sucker for the main (requited unrequited) pairing, and there’s at least five ways to make that pairing canon and avoid the mess of Who Killed Markiplier. And THEY ALL DESERVE TO BE HAPPY OKAY

-A Finnrey fix-it for the Star Wars Sequel Trilogy (this one is especially vague, and I probably won’t write it since a bunch of these already exist, but it’s fun to think about. Maybe if I ever run out of WIPs 🤷‍♀️)

Upcoming story that you’re most excited to write: I’m equally excited for the Soulmate AU and the Bumizumi Time Travel AU! I’m also excited for my Nanowrimo work to be finished, but that’s more so in-progress than upcoming

Tagging:

@nonbinary-crafter-aang @dearestpartnerofgreatness @ohsalamanders @blackaquokat (no pressure ofc, only if you want to! But please tag me if you do, I’d love to see it!)

[a3hastakenovermylife]

Hey there! Coming for the ask game for 2, 45 and 49 please💕 Hope you're doing well too love!

Oh, wow I really wasn’t expecting to get any asks!!!! Thank you so much!

2) Favorite Troupe

I love all of the troupes, I really do. However, I really am partial to Autumn Troupe. As much as I’d loved the upbeat nature of the story when it came to Summer and Spring Troupes, I am WEAK for people with complicated or dark past lives trying to turn over a new leaf. (and the idea that those dark pasts could come back to haunt them at any time and maybe pull the troupe into danger excites me)

Actually, I’m weak for Hurt/Comfort in general, and something about the whole way the portraits were set up and treated by the game left me with so much FUEL.

Like ok, TAICHI.  I seriously love Taichi’s whole character arc, I also seriously love how protective Autumn troupe, and specifically Banri and Juza get towards him after they hear the whole story, ok.  When Beni shows up at their closing night, and Taichi tries to stand up to him, and Juza and Banri chewing him out.  That made me so happy, just SO happy.

I also love Juza, like the poor baby.  He just wants some friends dammit.  (I seriously love imagining what would happen if one of the punks who likes to target him took a cheap shot and went for Muku or Kumon instead.  Can I see Juza in berserk protect mode please?). Also, he’s just such a sweet guy, I mean this figuratively AND literally.  Give him all the pudding he wants, he deserves it.

Like the other troupes had one or two characters with traits like that, and I love them. It’s just that, as a whole, Autumn troupe really makes me happy

(like I was enamored with the idea that Citron was a runaway prince with spies after him for a while)

(Also does anyone else remember that scene that Misumi like got startled but the Director and pinned her in a hold for just a sec because I THINK ABOUT THAT A LOT)(wait a sec I remember reading that in game, I swear.  But, I just reread the whole summer episode and I literally couldn’t find it? I’m afraid I might be going insane, now. )(Does anybody else remember this happening because now I’m really curious what chapter it was?)

(also my crazy imagination running away with the idea that Tenma’s dad literally punched him, though that was before I started reading the Rookie arc for Summer.   I might still write something about them later...)

(Yeah, I really like Summer Troupe too if you can't tell...)

PLUS, their VOICES are so deep. 

I love.

Every.  

Single.  

One.  

Of their songs. 

I could listen to Banri’s raspy friggin’ voice all day, and Juza’s deep voice harmonizes so well with Banri’s. I want to scream.

45) Did your favorite character/troupe change since you started the game?

Ah, well my favorite character and troupe pretty much changed as soon as I first meet a new character. At least with the first three troupes, I was always convinced that nothing could top how much I loved the previous troupe when I started a new chapter, but the game ALWAYS surprised me.

The only troupe that kinda disappointed me was Winter troupe, but that’s mostly because I’m not a huge fan of Tsumugi. Like I love him, I just feel that his character was not nearly as well developed as the other leads, in fact, I feel like Tasuku would have been a better fit for the lead of that troupe, he has a much more interesting character arc, especially when he has to confront the fact that he hurt Tsumugi and apologize to him.

I just always felt that if you took away his friendship with Tasuku, there wasn’t much to Tsumugi. His character is almost built around Takuku’s character arc and the rest of him just feels fake, I guess? Not that Tsumugi is faking it, just that the character traits they chose for him seeem like they have little to no motivation or reasoning behind them, so he doesn’t feel as real as the other leads. It would be fine if he were a side character, but not as the lead.  

That’s why I’m a bit disappointed, like it would even be something if he showed more than token regret for leaving theatre for as long as he did, but he seems more upset about the fact that Tasuku is upset with him, than the fact that he quit doing what he loved for years. Like, it might be too similar to Sakyo’s arc in that respect, but I would have still been fine with it, especially because Tsumugi had his own reasons for leaving theatre, that are different enough from Sakyo's that I would have been satisfied.  

Anyway, I’m getting way off topic.

My favorite character has waffled like crazy too, its just like the header of my blog says, I love them ALL.  Its a bit overwhelming because I’ve never had this experience before, like I always latch on to a character or two and tolerate the rest for most fandoms I’m in.  

Like, at first, I adored Tsuzuru, like he was so friggin’ relatable, and hardworking and earnest that I loved him, I also loved how he was the big brother character.  Though, Itaru was a close second.

Then, it was Misumi.  I got seriously obsessed with Misumi for a while, he was so adorable and honest, and oblivious sometimes that I also sorta related to him, plus his voice is so adorable.  However, Tenma took over after I saw him get punched by his dad and he took over for that troupe from there.  I didn’t really appreciate Kazunari until I came back and reread his parts in the story, I missed some of the nuance of his small arc in my first read through.

THEN, Autumn troupe destroyed me.  DESTROYED ME, and I’m not even kidding. Like I literally hated Banri at first, though really, who among us didn’t at the start of all this.  I mean he was such a little shit for like the first third of the Autumn Troupe’s arc.  I was also on the fence at the beginning with Taichi, like I had like two SSR cards of him by this point so I knew who he was and he just seemed like an off-brand Kazunari to me, but that’s before I started reading so...

Anyway, but otherwise, right at the start of Autumn Troupe’s arc I had THREE FAVORITES just after auditions.  I’d really been looking forward to Sakyo joining, because he was the first SSR that I’d gotten, and immediately I remembered him from episode one and I got excited.   

Also, Omi just immediately appealed to me, the very second I first saw his dumb little confused face (you know the one), I was like ‘I love this man’ and that was the end of it.  Plus, I was getting serious big bro energy from him.  Juza also immediately appealed to me as well, he was just this intense guy but he was so earnest in the beginning that I really took a liking to him right off the bat.  He just felt like a gentle giant, he looks scary but in the way he acted you could just tell that that wasn't really him.

49) Any favorite quotes/trivia?

(not sure how much of this applies as trivia, I think I’ll do my favorite quote post later tho, I just don't have time at this exact second)

I love Sakyo popping bubble wrap, just going to put that out there.

I love the idea that Itaru just uses Sakuya as his personal gatcha drawer, that's just so cute to me.

I love the idea that Tenma literally has no sense of direction.

I love the Mankai Mahjong Club, and literally everything it entails.  

I love the Minagi family and I need more content with them, (thank you A3 anime).

BANRI AND TENMA GOING TO KAREOKE 

(^^ I don't know why I love this but I do)

Muku and Sakyo reading Shoujou manga together.  (It’s just too cute that Sakyo gave in after Muku started berating himself for even deciding to ask, I mean seriously it melts my heart every time I think about it.)

I think that's about it.  Sorry this is so long, and my thoughts are definitely jumbled, because I should definitely be doing schoolwork right now...

BUT THANKS FOR THE ASK!  I had a lot of fun answering these, and I definately went on a few tangents there, but I hope you enjoy it.  If anybody have any follow up questions either that's cool too!

[isidar-mithrim]

Hello, Would you mind telling us How and When you started to like/ fall for Hinny? And Why? What is the thing that made you like them? Were you in the fandom before 6th book? Did you ship Hinny before HBP? I just love them and curious how others fall for this beautiful couple. I am asking this to all my favorite Hinny writers. I really want to thank you, people, for writing them so wonderfully and for gifting us your amazing works. ❤❤

Hello there! Not only I don’t mind in the slightest, but I’m also absolutely delighted and honored that you included me among your favorite Hinny writers, especially considering how little I’ve actually written about them, despite how much I love this copule and these characters! ^^ I really really appreciate you thinking of me ❤

So, I guess I should start saying that yes, I already was in the (Italian) fandom when HBP was published ^^ Before then, I already liked the idea of Harry getting with Ginny, but more in a “yeah, that would be cool” way than in the “omg when are they going to get together!!!” way I was waiting for Romione. 

While I shipped Romione a lot since GoF, I hand’t really thought about Harry’s possible new love interest until one of my fellow Romione shippers invited me to join the Hinny forum as well. I have to admit that at the beginning I wasn’t that invested in the idea because to me it seemed “too simple”, narratively speaking, to get them together and have this lovely quartet and a big happy Weasley family (not to mention the fact that Ginny had had a crush on him). But then again, I loved Harry and Ginny relationship during OotP, with those iconic moments like the “Lucky you” and the “If you’ve got enough nerves”, and rereading got me more invested – I was curious to see where it was going, also because I realised that to me Ginny and maybe Luna were the only papabile female “candidates” for Harry, since I considered Hermione definitely out of the game on that matter. 

I still didn’t really *love* them at that point (Romione and Jily were a firm step ahead) but I did read HBP shipping for them.

And then I read HBP... and that’s when I really started to love them! I think the things that made me love them the most were how happy and comfortable Harry was around her, and how good Ginny was at understanding him and supporting him/calling him off when he needed it, and how he needed it.

I’d say that for a while they stayed a (at that point very tiny) step behind Romione and Jily, maybe also because there weren’t many fanfictions about them in the Italian fandom, afaik, but then one day I started daydreaming a post-DH scenario from Harry’s perspective*, and I absolutely fell in love with them, to the point that now they’re my favorite HP couple. I arrived in the english fandom looking for Jily’s stories, I stayed because of the Hinny’s ones ^^

* I’ve actually also written part of it, but 1) I haven’t touched it in... I think a couple of years (even if I still daydream about it); 2) none of it is translated in English; 3) I’ve only ever posted the first 3 chapters of the Italian version (because they’re the day after the battle); 4) I have to completely rewrite big parts of it that no longer fit my headcanons / that I realised don’t work and 5) I wouldn’t post it before it’s completed ^^ There is an epilogue part that tells in snippet about James’s birth, and I have considered posting it on its own, but it’s not going to happen soon anyway... We’ll see ^^ 

Thanks again for your lovely ask, I hope this answer your curiosity ❤

[couch-house]

Do you have a comprehensive list of fic recs for invader zim? bc I’ve been looking for fics w/o zadr and you seem like you have good taste

hmmm not especially comprehensive, but I have a couple.  Most all of these are in my “fic art” or “fic rec” tags (im apparently very bad at tagging consistently, F) but I’ll list them out here too. Some of these have both ffnet and ao3 postings so i try to include both. I will also try to not be bad at summarizing + reccing these

GEN

Ward (ao3 link) [COMPLETE] is a really fun action story with WONDERFUL in-character writing.  Zim is tasked with raising a smeet to be like a Next Gen invader (it’s a trap) and as apprehensive as I usually am about babyfics, this one does everything Right for me and I couldn’t stop reading once I started.  The characters are great, the story builds to an exciting climax, and it’s all just great fun!! 

Dib and Squee Down In The Deeps (ao3 link) (ffnet link) [COMPLETE] is an IZ/Squee! crossover that oh h hh h is SO GOOD!! Like I really don’t want to spoil anything, but it starts as a DELIGHTFULLY fun crossover with dib becoming a mentor and friend to squee and the two getting in light shenanigans with zim (UGH i love zim’s characterization in this) and sneakily twists into WONDERFULLY FRIGHTENING psychological horror. The writing is a bit denser than most fics, but it works very well (as opposed to like. writing that is dense for the sake of being dense you know?). Like it’s really such a great fic, I’d recommend trying to read it all in one sitting so once the horror starts, you don’t get a break.

Parade of Indignities (ao3 link) (ffnet link) [IN PROGRESS] is a thrilling plot-driven story that i’ve had so much fun reading! The tallest and other invaders hatch a plan to kill Zim with a slowly spreading toxin, but fuck up and now Zim is only mostly dead. Dib learns the truth of the situation and begrudgingly makes it his duty to save Zim as the clock ticks down. I really need to give this one a reread to give a better rec for it but the characterizations are great, the writing is fun, the plot is EXCITING!! and it makes great use of otherwise minor characters (larb plays a big role, it’s really great to see!). 

Curious Dib (ao3 link) (ffnet link) [IN PROGRESS] is essentially just a nice collection of headcanons told through dib asking zim questions about himself. There’s bits of plot arcs that drive the character development and are pretty enjoyable but overall it’s mostly just headcanons. I honestly love that bc sometimes my favorite part of fancontent is just seeing people’s ideas about irkens and zim in particular. It’s also nice because they’re friends :)

SHIP

Bacon in the Soap (ao3 link) [COMPLETE] is just human!au zim’s life from 5-50. There’s a whole buncha zim ships in here tbh but it also has zasr which I still think about Constantly. I’m kind of mixed about reccing this fic bc although I really enjoyed it by the end, this is not a feel-good fic. it’s upsetting. they give zim a very rough life, but there’s ultimately some nice payoffs and a happy ending. I really enjoy how certain bits of canon were interpreted but do feel at some times the fic is just a little too heavy-handed with the suffering. definitely DEFINITELY read the content warnings and heed them (I think there’s an ffnet link too but I’m only including the ao3 one bc it most clearly lists those warnings).

In Short Supply (ffnet link) [HIATUS] ok ok ok ok THIS FIC IS MY FAVORITE… of all time.. .every fandom everywhere. But. I cannot rec it by telling you the plot. bc at least for ME, the plot made me want to not read it. what i CAN tell you, is that the characterizations are DELICIOUS, the worldbuilding is EXTENSIVE AND COOL and really matches the tone of the worldbuilding in the show, the story is TENSE AND EXCITING and does that great thing where it slowly, without you noticing, collects dozens of plot threads all going at once so you get REALLY EXCITED for all of their payoffs. It makes use of minor characters, it makes use of some great details from canon, and i gotta re-emphasize this, it EXPANDS on all of them. it takes and it ADDS and its SO MUCH FUN. I read this fic in one sitting in middle school from 8pm to 6am and ruined my sleep schedule for the rest of the week. I used to quote this fic with my sibling on the regular. I reread this fic like every year or two and fall in love again every time. my friendgroup discord server is named after this fic. like i LOVE IT please give it a chance. honestly… please read the recs for it on tvtrops bc thats what got me to read it and there’s not much I can say that they don’t say there. also it’s zapr. 

There’s more but those are the ones that I remember off the top of my head/are in my tag already lol

[raywritesthings]

Bird in a Storm 7/17

My Writing Fandom: Arrow Characters: Laurel Lance, Oliver Queen, Ted Grant, Roy Harper, McKenna Hall, Quentin Lance, Lucas Hilton, Female OCs, Male OCs Pairing: Laurel Lance/Oliver Queen Summary: The confrontation between the Hood and SWAT on the roof of the Winick Building goes differently, altering the course of Laurel’s career, relationships and efforts to save her city forever, the shockwaves of such an altered path making themselves felt throughout her family and friends. *Can be read on my AO3, link is in bio*

Ted enjoyed all of his lessons. He wouldn’t be in the business if he didn’t, even if it was all he was good at. Just like with his opponents in the past, each of his students brought something different and challenging to the ring.

Though none were perhaps as interesting as his new student: Dinah Laurel Lance.

She had taken to boxing like a dog with a bone. No one would say she was the natural body type for it, but she made up for all that and more with sheer determination. He’d been right about that good little girl act, too; the more time she spent punching the bag was time spent learning not to keep it all bottled up under a sweet smile for others’ convenience. He didn’t know everything about her life, of course, but he could surmise the highs and lows from how many times her name had been dragged around by the press for this or that thing.

She wasn’t all tough girl, either. She had a good heart no matter what clothes she was wearing or who she was trying to impress. But he hoped training here was giving her the space to figure all that out, who she wanted to be now that she’d been thrown aside by most of the people in her life. For the first time, perhaps, she was getting to go out there on her own terms.

Today there was a spring to her step and an even brighter fire in her eyes. He found himself curious and decided to remark on it.

“You’re in a good mood.”

Her answer was slightly muffled from the mouth guard she had in. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. Something happen?”

Laurel paused between combinations to shrug and took out the mouth guard. “I stopped my friend’s purse from getting stolen the other day.”

“That right?”

“Mm-hm.” She took a few steps away to wipe at her neck and brow with a towel, swatting her ponytail to the side. “Got a bloody nose for it, but it was worth it.”

Ted nodded slowly. He had thought the blood and sweat and bruises were worth it, too, once. “Maybe you should’ve gone into enforcing law instead of studying it.”

Laurel snorted. “Believe me, I tried. Dad wouldn’t let me join the police academy.”

There was the chip on the shoulder again. She had a lot of those, from what he could tell.

“How was the other guy?”

“Sprained wrist. I didn’t really mean for that to happen. He was just a kid.” Her shoulders lifted and fell in a shrug. “Sara’s bullies were kids, too.”

Ted got his water bottle and took a swig. “Well, part of what you learn to do here is minimize harm. Yours and others.”

Laurel nodded and reached for her gloves to pull them back on.

He could tell throughout the rest of the session her mind was still on the encounter with the purse thief, the same way he used to turn thoughts about his matches — both official and not — over in his head long after they were over. She was more alike him than not, despite their different backgrounds.

That didn’t necessarily mean good things.

---

McKenna was really starting to wonder. Oliver was certainly a different guy than the party boy she remembered in her wild days. But she wasn’t sure if that meant he was a better boyfriend.

He seemed distracted, was the main thing. As someone with a lot on her own plate, she could understand to an extent. But it always seemed as if his mind was miles away and five steps ahead in the conversation.

They had yet to go out since that failed dinner date that was interrupted by an alert on her pager about the Dodger. Not like that had ended up being useful; the art thief had gotten away that night along with the Hood when he made a surprise appearance. Oliver hadn’t called to make new plans yet, and McKenna had been too busy to do so herself. She chose to stop by his club late one evening instead. It was a little out of her way, but she figured the direct approach would work better than playing phone tag.

He seemed happy enough to see her. They talked for a little while, nothing of real consequence. She had a shift to be getting to, after all.

His phone buzzed where it sat on the bar top, and McKenna couldn’t help noticing the notification that popped up. Especially since he was staring at it with a troubled frown.

Carjacking on Blake St. Red Honda.

McKenna raised an eyebrow. “You got a neighborhood watch app for the Glades?”

Oliver gave a little shake of the head, seeming to come back to the conversation. “I like to know what’s going on around the club.”

She smirked. “What have I told you about leaving things to the police?”

He held out both hands. “I am, believe me. I learned my lesson after you let me off for the Vertigo thing. Thank you for that, by the way.”

“We all get a little crazy about family sometimes. I got a sister.”

He nodded.

She checked the time again and pulled a face. “I should get going.”

“Alright. We’ll talk soon,” Oliver promised. He waited a beat and only leaned in to kiss her cheek when she offered it. She couldn’t say she didn’t appreciate him waiting for permission.

McKenna arrived at the bullpen to find an uncharacteristically distracted Lance at his desk. His eyes kept jumping to the radio he’d left sitting there, and she could tell he was rereading the same few lines of the latest report he’d gotten on the Hood.

A couple of officers entered the bullpen and he was suddenly up like a shot, just about when McKenna was going to ask if something was wrong.

“Hey, Valeres,” he called. One of the officers stopped and walked over. “That carjacking case, did you check that out?”

“Went to the owner’s residence and took down some information.”

Lance nodded. “Nothing else happening in that part of the neighborhood, though.”

“Nothing we picked up.”

Lance nodded. “Alright. Good work.” He turned and headed for the break room, probably for another cup of coffee.

Valeres looked to her. “Any idea what that was about?”

McKenna could only shrug.

“Blake Street is one block over from his daughter’s new place,” said a low voice just behind her. She looked back to find Hilton standing there. “He was asking you if everything was safe over there.”

McKenna frowned. “Why doesn’t he just ask Laurel?”

Hilton sighed. “They haven’t really spoken regularly since the Hood incident. So he’s taking the indirect approach. I never said it made sense.” He returned to his own desk long before Lance got back to his, coffee in one hand and the other dragging through his hair. He touched the frame of a photo briefly just before he sat down; a younger him with two smiling girls.

Oliver wasn’t the only one acting a little crazy about family, then. And maybe Oliver wasn’t just crazy about his family.

Were they really even dating? Or was his mind still occupied with the girl he’d once wronged?

It could be just as he said, that he’d gotten the neighborhood watch app for his club. But then, wasn’t that the job of his security to monitor things?

McKenna was someone who was fiercely herself. That hadn’t changed just because she’d given up the late nights at bars for late nights at a desk in the bullpen. She believed that there wasn’t a need for sorry in a relationship, but by that token a relationship required absolute trust.

She sent Oliver a text asking to meet up the next day. It was well past four in the morning when he finally replied that they could.

He took her to Big Belly Burger for lunch. It seemed so unlike something for the heir to the Queen fortune to do, but she liked that about him. She liked Oliver, and that was only going to make this harder.

“Hey, thanks for meeting me.”

“It was no problem.”

“Well, I know how busy we’ve both been.” They ordered their food and ate for a while in mostly silence, broken only by the occasional question about work. They didn’t seem to talk about much other than work. She’d tried asking once about his time away, but that had gone terribly.

Once she had finished, McKenna wiped her hands on a napkin and drew in a breath. “I guess I’m just wondering where we see this going, Oliver.”

He set his food down and frowned. “You mean us? I thought we’d just take things as they went for a little while.”

“I’m worried they’re not really going anywhere, is all,” she confessed. “We both have things we’re prioritizing in our life over this. I’m trying to solidify my position as a detective on the force, you’re trying to open your business.”

He nodded but waited for her to continue.

“And there might be people we’re prioritizing, too.”

Here, he spoke. “What do you mean?”

“You aren’t the only one keeping an eye on the Glades. Lance was interested in that carjacking, too. Because of Laurel.”

“McKenna…”

“I’m not accusing you of anything,” she stated for the record. “I’m just asking if there’s some unresolved stuff you need to work through before you’re ready to give a new relationship a chance.”

Oliver sat there, his face blank but his eyes showing just a hint of an internal struggle. “Laurel was my friend before everything else.”

McKenna nodded. She remembered.

“And she’s always going to be someone I care about. That doesn’t change no matter who I’m with or what kind of disagreement we might be having. That’s something a potential partner should probably know about me.”

McKenna took that in. She wasn’t a jealous type, and she trusted that those five years on an island had taught Oliver a lesson about cheating. She also didn’t believe Laurel could be interested in being one of many women after that experience. But did she want a relationship where she knew on a certain level her partner maintained a commitment to a past lover? That would warrant more thought.

“Okay, here’s something you should know about me,” she decided to say for now. “I’m very dedicated to my job, and I will do what is necessary. That’s going to put me in danger a lot of the time, especially with my being on the anti-vigilante task force. I could, theoretically, be killed out there.”

“Well, not by the Hood. I mean, he hasn’t killed anyone in law enforcement, has he?”

“Not as yet, but he’s fought them. He’s a lawless killer, Oliver. We can’t assume he has any boundaries.” She watched him shift uncomfortably. “I know you’ve been through some traumatic experiences and lost people close to you. I’m telling you that you could lose me too, unexpectedly and violently. Is that something you’re okay with?”

His mouth opened and then closed. She thought he might be considering the idea for the very first time.

“Here’s my suggestion,” she continued. “We take a break, think things over, decide what we both want and what we’re willing to agree to. I want us to be able to trust each other, Oliver, and that means knowing where we’re coming from.”

He picked at a fry. “Yeah. That makes sense.”

“Okay. Text me when you’ve had a chance to think about things. We’ll talk. Open line of communication, right?”

It took a beat longer than it should have, but he lifted his head to meet her eyes. “Right.”

McKenna managed a small smile and stood, leaving the restaurant. She honestly believed this was the best choice for them going forward. If it wasn’t meant to be, it wasn’t meant to be, but she’d rather come to that decision as rational adults than see it end in some messy catastrophe. 

And it wasn’t necessarily over yet.

---

Roy wandered down the aisles at Khan’s, looking for something cheap he could make one-handed. His wrist was still bothering him, but he had money now from selling off the pain meds. He could put up with a little pain just for that. The cash could last him through the whole next month if he budgeted it right.

Thea Queen had come by his place once since their meeting that day. He didn’t know how she got his address, or why she’d bothered. What was he to her besides some sort of helpless case she could feel good about?

At least, he’d thought that way until she’d opened up about her past with drugs. Now he wasn’t sure if she was doing this to make herself feel better or if she genuinely didn’t see why they couldn’t be on good terms. She didn’t get that wasn’t how it worked in this town, did she?

A scream came from outside. Roy dropped the hot pocket he’d been considering and raced out the door, Mr. Khan on his heels.

Two women stood by the bus stop in some kind of ethnic dress. The one had her arms over her head while her friend tried to shield her, her hair falling loose. Roy turned to the right and saw a man with a shaved head jogging up the street and waving a colorful scarf through the air as he whooped and hollered.

“Yeah, this is America!”

Roy’s good fist clenched. “Hey!”

The man gave a start and then picked up the pace, almost all the way down the block. Roy was about to start after him, but a hand landed on his shoulder.

It was Mr. Khan. “Hood!”

“What?” Roy looked around. It was broad daylight, was the vigilante really—

“Hood. Your hood, boy. For the lady.”

Roy glanced back at the women, now crying as they huddled together. He shrugged out of his red hoodie and tossed it to Khan, then took off down the pavement.

“I’ll be right back!”

Roy rounded the corner and kept going, the man re-entering his line of sight and giving him a burst of speed. He was almost a full block behind him though. A few shoppers and shop keeps were out along the sidewalk, some of them staring at the man in confusion as he passed.

He could feel a stitch in his side as he kept up the brutal pace. He wasn’t going to catch up.

“Hey, somebody stop that guy!”

The man glanced back over his shoulder at Roy’s desperate yell, and that gave a woman the opening to jut her leg out and trip him. A very familiar woman.

“Oh no,” Roy breathed to himself as Laurel reached down and picked up the scarf.

“Jesus, lady, I’m bleeding!”

“Yeah, well don’t use this to mop it up. Doesn’t look like it belongs to you.” She looked over to Roy as he made it the rest of the way there. “So, what’s the story?”

“There’s a lady back there,” Roy panted, jerking his thumb back towards where he’d come from. “That’s her head scarf thing.”

Laurel nodded in understanding, then glared down at the man on the ground.

He glared right back. “Like that’s proof. You assaulted me!”

“Great, you can take it up with the police. Make sure to ask for Detective Lance,” she replied with cool confidence. Then she turned and bent to pick up a watering can Roy only just noticed she’d had to set down to stop the guy.

The guy scrambled up and grabbed hold of her hair in one quick flurry of movement. Roy darted forward, catching him around the neck while Laurel struggled to throw them both off.

“What’s going on out here?” An old woman asked, standing in the doorway of the shop Laurel had come from, Green Glades.

Roy staggered back in the next instant as Laurel broke free, a tearing sound and a cry of pain resulting. The guy staggered back as well but twisted and pushed Roy off him, and he only just caught himself on his good arm as the guy took off.

“Laurel!” The old woman cried. “Are you alright, dear?”

“Fine, Pam,” Laurel said with more of a grunt than anything. She was gingerly prodding at her head. “I think he tore out some of my hair.”

Roy winced. That had to hurt.

Pam came forward and brought an arm around Laurel’s back. “Let’s get you inside, then. Have a look at that.”

“Yeah, let me just—” She turned back towards Roy, holding out the head scarf that she’d balled up protectively in her fist. “Can you make sure this gets back to the woman?”

Roy nodded. Khan could probably point him in the right direction if the two of them weren’t still at the bus stop.

“Sorry about that,” he added, gesturing to his head.

Laurel shook her head. “You were doing the right thing. I’m glad I could help.”

She started to follow her boss inside, but Roy called out, “Hey. Why’d you tell the guy to ask for Lance?” The few times he’d had run-ins with the cops so far, the guy was a total hardass.

Laurel smiled, a little wry. “He’s my father.”

Roy stared in surprise as she disappeared through the door of the florists. Sure, detectives weren’t rich the way Thea Queen was rich, but what was a cop’s daughter doing slumming it out here with the rest of them?

Roy returned to the bus stop by Mr. Khan’s store to find no one there, but a look inside the shop revealed the man had brought both women inside to recover. He presented the head scarf sheepishly and was met with tears and profuse thanks, both of which made him uncomfortable.

“You are a good boy at heart. We may make a good man of you yet, Roy,” Mr. Khan declared. Roy just shrugged as he pulled his hoodie back over his head.

Then he took a walk over to the community center. It didn’t do much these days besides organize little league teams, but it had free WiFi and he didn’t have to buy anything to use it. He got out his phone and searched the name Laurel Lance, surprised by the number of articles that popped up.

The woman everyone had said was in with the Hood. She was the same person.

Roy didn’t know how he felt about the Hood. On the one hand, part of him thought it was about time some of those men the vigilante had gone after got a bit of a taste of repercussions. On the other hand, little had improved in the Glades themselves.

He read about Laurel’s fall from grace after the kidnapping incident, how the pro bono law firm she’d worked for had let her go after pressure from on high. Typical. The system was broken from top to bottom, even the people that were supposed to be helping. Either they looked the other way or they got chewed up and spat out like she had.

But Thea Queen was still friends with Laurel, even though the older woman had supported a vigilante who made it his business to go after the one percent. Maybe the Queen heiress wasn’t completely the high and mighty princess he’d always assumed she would have to be.

---

Laurel spent that night nursing the back of her head where it was still sore from the scuffle outside the shop. It would feel better eventually, and she was lucky Pam had been more concerned about her well-being than about employees rough housing out in front of her store.

“You did a good thing stopping that man. Lived up to your name, too. The laurel is a symbol of victory,” her boss remarked.

“Well, I guess I was owed one by now,” Laurel replied wryly.

When she recounted the story to Anita and Jerome over dinner at their place, the two seemed far more animated about it.

“Girl, you’re crazy!” Anita exclaimed as her boyfriend let out a low whistle. “Are you trying to end up in the hospital?”

“I didn’t really plan to get involved in a fight. It just happened. I would have been fine if he hadn’t gotten a hold of my hair.”

“Yeah, well that’s one advantage to keeping things short,” Jerome said, passing a hand over his own cropped cut.

“Yeah, you might be right,” Laurel had agreed quietly, taking another bite of her acarajé.

She liked her hair the way it was, but she could see how it disadvantaged her in a fight. That was one of the things they’d gone over back in her old self defense classes.

She posed the question to Ted at her next lesson. The man shrugged.

“It’s your decision. I don’t teach people to fight dirty in the ring, so you should be fine.” His look turned rather pointed at the word should, so Laurel quickly changed the subject.

What clinched the deal was Anita, or more accurately her job. The hair salon her neighbor worked at was doing a donation drive, according to the flyers on her table when Laurel came over for their informal sewing lessons. Hair above a certain length would be taken to make into wigs for those unable to afford buying them.

“Do you think my hair would work for this?” She asked, fingers touching a flyer.

Anita paused after making another stitch. “Yeah, could get some inches off you. You’d have to be willing to go pretty short, though. Would you be okay with that?”

She shrugged. Laurel had never really had short hair before, but then what was the harm? It would grow back. After all the change in her life recently, this felt like such a small thing, and it would help somebody else. More importantly, it was something she could choose to do, rather than her being forced into doing it.

“Okay,” said Anita. “Stop by when I’m there. We’ll make sure it looks good.”

Laurel came by the salon the next day after work, glad for the chance to put up her feet and let somebody else pamper her a bit. Anita smiled wide when she saw her reflected in the mirror.

“Hey! Give me fifteen to finish up.”

Laurel waited, letting the chatter of the salon wash over her. She recognized a few women from here or there in the neighborhood. One had even come in to the shop for a bouquet arrangement for her mother the other day. Laurel had put the whole thing together herself without Pam’s supervision.

Soon enough, she was sat in the chair by her friend after a quick wash that had felt pretty good. “So I’m thinking we can still give you a little length on the one side if we part your hair further on the left. See?” Anita combed her fingers through to give a demo of the effect.

“Yeah, sounds good. I trust you.”

Anita shook her head, her long ponytail swaying side to side. “You are too willing to roll with the punches, Laurel. Alright, let’s try it.”

It was a lot longer sitting in the chair than at her usual hair appointments. Anita kept pinning up, cutting, pinning, and cutting over and over again. She felt, gradually, like a weight was being taken off her.

Eventually, Anita used the blow dry and fussed with her hair a bit, then told her to check it out in the mirror. Laurel stared at herself for a solid minute, processing the difference.

“You hate it. Oh, I knew you would.”

“No. It’s...just really different.” She gave an experimental shake of the head, seeing how her hair moved now. “I think I needed the change.”

“Yeah?” Anita played with it some more. “It is kind of fun. The new you.” She leaned in closer. “We should dye it. Do something real crazy.”

Laurel grinned. “Maybe next time. Thanks for doing this.”

“Hey, thanks for donating.”

About the only person she had to show her new look off to the next day was Pam, and the older woman was very complimentary which certainly didn’t hurt her ego. A couple of customers who had been in once or twice before remarked on it as well to her surprise, and Laurel found herself smiling through most of the day.

Pam shuffled up to her as she finished counting up the register. Laurel handed her the total that went into the woman’s safe upstairs. “Here you are.”

“Thank you. I have something for you, too.”

Laurel froze, and then it hit her. “Another plant?” Her violet hadn’t survived long past the transfer to Tupperware container, so she should have realized something like this might happen.

Pam nodded. “I want you to try again.”

“I just don’t know if raising plants is for me, Pam.”

Her boss acted as though she hadn’t heard. “Sansevieria trifasciata. 'Laurentii'.” She hefted a much larger potted plant with long, straight leaves and no flowers onto the counter. “Known by a variety of names. ‘Snake plant’. ‘Mother-in-law’s tongue’. I prefer ‘Viper’s bowstring hemp.’”

“Bowstring, huh?” Laurel sighed. “Okay, what do I need to do to take care of it? How much sunlight should it get?”

“That’s the beauty of it. You don’t have to keep it by a window, you don’t have to water it much. It’s a tough plant, evolved to survive a harsh sun and droughts — and it thrives in the dark.” She smiled.  “The night is when it comes alive.”

Laurel found herself smiling back.

She carried the plant the whole walk home, balancing it with care as she took out her keys to unlock her door. Rather than leave it on a windowsill or somewhere else precarious, Laurel stuck it in a corner on the floor. She brushed her hands off on her jeans and stood back to admire the effect. Not bad.

Laurel made herself some canned soup and afterwards washed all her dishes from that week. She clicked around on her phone for an hour while she waited for the water to heat up again for a shower. Once her nightly ritual was completed, she sank into bed, hardly even noticing the lumps in the mattress as she drifted off.

A hail of bullets slamming into some far-off wall ripped her from sleep. Laurel sat up in the dark, listening intently. There was a faint echo of return fire even further away. She waited and listened some more.

Silence. She didn’t know whether to breathe a sigh of relief or not. Silence also meant no intervention, not from the police or anyone else.

Laurel laid back down but couldn’t seem to find whatever comfortable position she’d had on the lumpy mattress. Or calm her racing mind.

She sat back up again, drawing her knees to her chest and hugging them.

As much as she spoke of the hope Oliver was giving people, living here forced her to face the facts: fear was the ruling emotion of the Glades. Fear and apathy. After all, she hadn’t even bothered to phone the police, had she? Not when she knew they wouldn’t come.

The Glades had been abandoned by just about anyone who had the power to do something about it, and even Oliver was here by coincidence more often than not. He was more concerned with the billionaires on his father’s list than the people they’d hurt. Laurel didn’t doubt he cared, but it was in an abstract sort of way; they would benefit in the long run from his interventions. Trickle-down justice for a system built on trickle-down economics.

Laurel got up and went to her little kitchen, rooting around in the dark to see if there was any tea left in her cabinets. Something to calm her down. She was only being so uncharitable to him because she was tired. It would be impossible for Oliver to take on all the city’s ills, five years of training or no.

The mission was probably easier to rely on. It was concrete and had an endpoint, however distant. How could any one person hope to turn the tide of violence and crime in the Glades?

But if no one did anything, nothing would get done. Wasn’t that the whole reason she believed in Oliver’s crusade?

Maybe the problem wasn’t that one person couldn’t change everything. Maybe the problem was that she and everyone else were relying on just one person.

Laurel shut the cabinet and turned away, leaning her back on the countertop. That kind of thought froze a person, really made them question what they were doing.

What was she doing? Sitting around in a cramped apartment, barred from the courtroom and her way of making a difference. And not for the first time. She’d become a lawyer to help people, and she’d only chosen that path because she’d been denied even the chance to apply for the police academy. Since she’d been turned away once more, it was time to find another means of saving the city. And Oliver was already providing one example.

An illegal one. But in a system as broken as theirs, did legality really matter?

She’d lost her job, her boyfriend, her father hardly wanted to talk to her anymore except to try and convince her to sacrifice her principles for a bit of comfort. What more did she have to lose?

People in the Glades didn’t have another option like she might. They didn’t have people ready to bail them out or let them live in safety. They didn’t have the choice to be involved in this fight or not; their very homes had been turned into the battleground.

If she was going down this path anyway, why not commit to it?

Laurel breathed in and out, her heartbeat loud in her ears. This would change her whole life. If she were ever caught…

But she couldn’t keep living like this anymore. She didn’t want to wait for things to happen to her. She didn’t want to constantly feel like there was more she should’ve done.

No more trying to save the world. Time to actually do it.

[lostcauses-noregrets]

You ever think of the fact that Erwin could've easily married Marie and had all the happiness in the world instead of enduring all the burden, guilt, and loneliness, and chasing a dream he wasn't even sure of, and eventually even dying without fulfilling it? The man clearly struggled with immense guilt and loneliness and I don't think anyone dwells enough on how tragic his life, and even eventual death, were. The man screams tragedy in every sense of the word 😔

Ok, I’m going to preface this answer by saying that I’m deeply uncomfortable with marriage being held up as the apotheosis of adult relationships. Certainly marriage works for some people, many people in fact, but I don’t believe it’s necessarily something that everyone should be expected to aspire to. Relationships can take many, many forms and I think people would be a lot happier if they accepted that.

Right, now we’ve got that out of the way, I’m curious about your suggestion that Erwin would have wanted to marry Marie and that this would have brought him all the happiness in the world.  In the manga, Erwin mentions Marie only once, when he tells Nile in chapter 53 that he was “quite taken” with her. The whole point of that conversation is to remind Nile that the life he has chosen; marriage, children, protecting his family rather than fighting for Humanity as a whole, is a path that Erwin and those who died before him couldn’t have chosen even if they’d wanted to.  The reason being that Erwin can see the bigger picture, and he knows that unless things change, Nile won’t be able to protect his family, no matter how much he follows his orders, and sadly the most recent chapter of the manga has borne tragic witness to that. So no, I don’t think Erwin could have easily married Marie and lived the life that Nile lived, because he would always have known that he was living a lie. 

Of course there’s also the Smartpass Close-Up Interview with Erwin and Levi where they are asked by a journalist what they would do when there are no more battles left to fight, what their dreams for the future are.  Erwin initially avoids the question but when pressed by Levi, who is quite obviously teasing him, he says “As for me…right. Retire to a reclusive area, or maybe have a family”.  To which Levi responds “Your kids won’t be cute for sure.” The whole exchange is obviously flippant, however Erwin does make the same serious point that he makes to Nile in chapter 53, that “the realization of our own dreams is less important than building a world for people, a place where humans can accomplish their own dreams.”  It’s an interesting interview and worth rereading, as it’s quite revealing about Erwin and Levi’s characters and their relationship with each other.

I absolutely do agree that Erwin struggled with an immense burden of guilt over all the lives that were lost under his command, and his desire to prove his father’s theories true, however I disagree strongly that Erwin was lonely.  The one saving grace in Erwin’s life was that he had a small but close group of friends who respected and supported him; Mike, Hanji, Nile, and of course Levi.  However you interpret Erwin and Levi’s relationship; lovers, friends, comrades, brothers in arms, it’s impossible to deny that they had a deep and close relationship based on mutual trust and respect.  Erwin recruited Levi into the Survey Corps, created a rank for him, they fought side by side for years, they shared private meals together after expeditions, and, if the recent USJ exhibition is to be believed, shared a room together.  Levi’s trust in Erwin never wavered, he supported him through thick and thin, eased the burden of his guilt and despair, and stayed by his side until the bitter end.  I think the fact that Erwin died with his two closest friends by his side is testament to the strength of that friendship.  So yes, Erwin’s life was tragic, but one thing it wasn’t was lonely.

With regards to your last point “I don't think anyone dwells enough on how tragic his life, and even eventual death, were.”   The tragedy of Erwin Smith’s life and death has been honoured and explored in depth and detail by the many, many talented writers and artists of the Eruri fandom.  If you need a place to start, I’ve got a whole host of fic recs devoted the Commander here: fic rec and a list of artists here: tags page.  

[ladyherenya]

Books read in August

It was not the month I was expecting.

Favourite cover: Both The Black God’s Drums and Bookish and the Beast caught my attention because of their covers.

Reread: Artistic License by Elle Pierson (aka Lucy Parker).

Still reading: Tuyo by Rachel Neumeier and The City of Brass by S.A. Chakraborty.

Next up: I have so many unread library books. I feel a bit guilty about it.

*

Stars Above: A Lunar Chronicles Collection by Marissa Meyer (narrated by Rebecca Soler): Most of these are prequel stories, except for “Something Old, Something”, in which a group of friends gather for a wedding. That was the perfect coda to the series. It’s funny and sweet, and I like that these fairytale retellings do end with a wedding -- after time has passed and the bridal couple are no longer teenagers. As for the other stories, “Glitches” and “Carswell’s Guide to Being Lucky” were great, some I enjoyed even though they didn’t take full advantage of their potential to tell us new information, and a couple I didn't care for.

Unnatural Magic by C.M. Waggoner: Very, very compelling. I finished it within a day and immediately reread most of it. It’s a curious blend of things: there’s Onna, a teenager in search of a magical education; and then there’s Tsira, a troll, and Jeckran, an army deserter, eking out a living in the city together. All these characters want a life that isn’t quite what their community expects of, or their families want for, them. Waggoner successfully pulls together their stories as they investigate a series of troll murders. As a murder mystery, it was a bit predictable but that didn’t matter very much.

The Black God’s Drums by P. Djèlí Clark (narrated by Channie Waites): This novella is richly imagined, an alternate-historical fantasy in which New Orleans is an independent state. It’s filled with adventure and some strong personalities -- I particularly enjoyed the thirteen year old protagonist’s attempts to convince an airship captain to take her on as crew. I was unwell when I read some of this, which might be why I don’t feel more strongly about it. (Alternatively, it wasn’t written for me and that’s okay. I’m not sure which it is, and that’s okay too.) The audiobook narrator is excellent.

Beach Read by Emily Henry: January has a summer to write a new novel and sort out the beach house she unexpectedly inherited from her father. When her new neighbour turns out to be a fellow author and former classmate who is also struggling with his current book, they challenge each other to swap genres.  I liked this while I read it but ultimately it wasn’t very memorable. I think I expected a romance about two authors to appeal to me more? I also thought the genre-swapping had the potential to be funnier. Amazon calls this a “laugh-out-loud love story” but, well, humour is subjective.

Bookish and the Beast by Ashley Poston: A fun, fandom-y and fairly light-hearted contemporary fairytale retelling. Rosie chases a stray dog into what she believes is an empty house -- and discovers she’s trespassing on the current residence of a teenage actor who stars in movies based on some of Rosie’s favourite SF stories. Which is not the only coincidence, but I thought those and the handling of the characters’ issues was satisfyingly consistent with the optimistic and light-hearted tone of the story. A touch of fantasy rather than reality, if you will. I’m curious about the other books in this series.

Nevertheless, She Persisted: A Flash Fiction Project by Tor.com: Eleven SF stories inspired by: She was warned. She was given an explanation. Nevertheless, she persisted. The advantage of flash fiction is that it doesn’t seem like a big risk -- it doesn’t matter if I don’t like a story, because I haven’t invested much time or emotional energy in it. The disadvantage of flash fiction is that each story has so little time in which to make me care.  If these stories had been longer, they also could have expanded upon their theme with greater nuance and variety.

A Wizard’s Guide to Defensive Baking by T. Kingfisher (aka Ursula Vernon): An orphaned fourteen year old apprentice baker discovers a murder, is accused and acquitted, and then has to hide when she's nearly murdered herself. There can be something comforting in stories which show people dealing with the world being sad and scary, and this sounded like the sort of thing I'd gobble up -- when it’s by an author whose storytelling I love and trust. I was rather surprised when I found the beginning cold and unappetising. But I persevered, and was glad I did. I enjoyed the defensive baking, and Mona's complicated feelings about having to be a hero.

Shelter by Stephanie Fournet: Growing up, Elise believes that Cole is mean; Cole, focused on protecting his mother and sister from his abusive father, believes he can’t afford to care about anyone else. Slowly they become closer -- until tragedy separates them. Because the story skips straight from the last time they see each to eight years later when they cross paths again, it feels believable that their relationship resumes so quickly and smoothly. Upon reflection, that’s not very realistic (and thus, in my eyes, very satisfying). But nevertheless, I enjoyed reading this (except I didn’t fully agree with Cole’s sister’s criticisms of Cole’s overprotectiveness.)

Wolfskin by W.R. Gingell: Rose, headstrong and adventurous, is delighted to be apprenticed to the warden Akiva. Her story is about growing up, learning about the forest and being warden, and about the mysterious disappearance of other wardens. It is also very fairytale-ish. There are a lot of nods to “Little Red Riding Hood” but the wolf himself arguably has more in common with “Beauty and the Beast”. I spied elements from other tales too. I really like this; Gingell has a knack for writing fairytales which are vivid and original. This was the sort of story I was in the mood for.

If We’re Not Married By Thirty by Anna Bell: Family friends Lydia and Danny made a pact at Lydia’s sister’s wedding to marry each other if they were both still unmarried at thirty. In the ten years since, they’ve lived in different places, dated different people and kept in touch by exchanging emails and silly presents, like Christmas decorations and fridge magnets. Then they run into each other in Spain. I read the first half of this, enjoying its Britishness and the fluffiness, and then started skimming once the story hopped on a train speeding towards Misunderstandings and Miscommunication town. I think Bell’s humour involves embarrassing situations too often for me.

[advernia]

around june of last year, i decided to revive my writing blog as one of the many potential stress-relief methods i could think of.... i didn’t think i’d be able to keep it active for long since work + family duties keep me preoccupied most of the time, but eyyy!!! so far i haven’t lost the motivation to keep going back to this blog, and i even managed to keep it afloat for half a year!!! amazing!!! (•̀o•́)ง

and now here we are halfway through 2020!!! it’s waaaay overdue but here’s a big T H A N K  Y O U  V E R Y  M U C H ! ! ! to everyone and anyone who dropped by this blog last year + all them likes, comments, reblogs...... please know that i’m still i n c r e d i b l y grateful for the support & interest in the content i’ve posted up!!!! tbh my activity’s still hella sporadic so it’s really amazing for me that i even gained new followers.... i’m very honored to have all of you stick around my blog despite my irregularity!!!!!!!! (༎ຶ ෴ ༎ຶ)

it’s also overdue, but i slowly managed and finally cleaned up the blog like i’ve been meaning to do + changed the blog name to match my ao3 handle for consistency!!! i make no promises to be super active... but i’m sure that i still want to continue writing & keep this blog alive!!!! 

again, thank you all for your time + reading my works!!!!!!  ∩( ´∀` )∩ work commentary on the rest of my works last year follows under the cut!

oct 1 // hero’s journey

a drabble on blanc + oliver about the alices... now that i think of it, calling the first alice first alice is kinda funny considering that alice is really her name... or is it? 

i do hope blanc’s route talks about her a bit, haha! i mean, i wish cybird remembers that they’ve been dropping the occasional background tidbits about her... like for example, her pocketwatch (that she gave to blanc eventually) having a magic crystal engraved into it.... her potentially leaving a fucking globe in the black army’s possession (like... wow... u fell with that thing????????)....

plus, i just find it interesting that she was remembered by cradle as a heck of a troublemaker lol! it also makes you wonder who among the main cast met her, blanc aside... though it’s not stated when exactly she fell into cradle, so maybe only blanc had the opportunity of meeting her...

so does blanc speak of her fondly bc she’s a woman, or is there something else??? has he been frequently visiting the land of reason pre-game??? has he found the first alice’s antique shop / met her again??? does he still try to figure out the reason why there’s a magic crystal engraved into the first alice’s pocketwatch????? hmmmmm......

on another note, it would be hilarious if cybird pulls a peter pan 2......... since we can’t pull off a mother-daughter relationship like wendy & jane’s, what if alice the second is somehow actually related to the first alice?? and while she’s completely different from her predecessor, blanc finds himself falling for alice the second........ just like he fell for the first alice? drama!

that’s just a random thought but kidding aside, i do hope blanc’s route is hella interesting bc i think he’s our mr. exposition for knowing more about cradle itself lol

oct 1 // fair (?) ladies & phony (?) enchanters

a result of going manic a few days after seeing harr’s trailer + route release.... ahaHAHA I’M STILL WILLING TO PLAY UR ROUTE IN JP HARR (if i actually had time to sit down and translate gET REKT)

i liked writing these drabbles and i think they’re cute but tbh they did nothing to ease my curiosity about harr’s route.... if anything else, it became even w o r s e  haha........................

if i think of blanc to have a cradle-centric route, i do hope harr’s route is magic tower-centric! naturally it will be since he’s got history there, but i hope a lot of my questions about the magic tower will be answered.....

will harr’s perspective of the magic tower be in the eyes of a test subject or a disciple???? he was scouted by the magic tower, but it wasn’t stated what he was doing exactly..... going by hints + loki’s & zero’s routes, it’s more of him being a disciple, so there’s bound to be guilt.......

hopefully alice’s characterization in his route is good + we get a fun group dynamic with loki!!! their potential.... the most(?) notorious criminal of cradle, a sought after test subject, and that one girl who nullifies all magic; a renegade trio lurking around the forbidden forest.... what an odd bunch!

oct 4 // god is a five minute hymn

a religious themed fic with lancelot & alice - tbh i don’t even know why religion was the first thing that came into mind when liz and i were talking about cultural differences, lol.

on that note though! i personally like thinking that if ever cradle had a semblance of a religion, it would be polytheistic & nature-centric, and not strictly practiced - the stratocracy of both territories i’d like to think makes it harder for religion to have a voice, much less have one that is practiced by the general population. the only thing general about it is that the religion centers or has magic crystals as an important factor... or something. yeah.

that aside, i think i specifically chose lancelot in this piece for the sole reason that his canonically stated lack of common sense, in my opinion, gives him the curiosity of a child sometimes - there’s no sense of malice or doubt, just the pure innocence of wanting to know something....... religion does that to kids, especially when introduced to it at first.

rereading the fic makes me think of the instances where when faced with dire or unsettling situations, people turn to faith as a life line.... well, i’m not sure if i had that subconsciously in mind when writing alice, but that does give a spin to it....

oct 6 // flow like the river nile

a spontaneous red army-centric fic! it certainly turned out better than i expected... i liked the formatting i used for this one!

if cybird can give us more about the pre-game suitors it would be great, tbh! and while the stuff about them in school is interesting, i’d like to see more about when they assumed their positions + combat scenes! the neutrals are special cases, but knowing more about their living conditions + daily lives is also a treat...

i was thinking of adding one last snippet about lancelot in the eyes of the reds, but i scrapped it out and switched it to alice & lancelot’s conversation about duty - it could’ve worked better if i stuck to using the what is your duty? question, but i scrapped it eventually too. ah well. it does look good enough as it is. 

oct 7 // seeking out phantoms

a mandatory(???) odd one out aka content that’s not ikerev, haha! i missed fe:a all of a sudden...

i never got around to writing properly for this fandom tho, what a shame - i’ve got some bits of pieces in my drafts that looked interesting and easy enough to pick up, and this was one of them.

robin investigating more of their plegian heritage could’ve been a good subplot tbh... i still wish there was something like a paralogue or dlc about it, bc honestly the valm arc goes a bit slow until you get to the future past revelations. ah well.

and gaius bc first husband for the win.... not like i actually had the guts to marry anyone else in my other save files lololol

nov 7 // push me off a bridge (to catch me as i fall)

my longest project of 2019, holy shit! i didn’t know i still had it in me to write something past 10k... i need more of that motivation + energy....

there’s nothing much to say about this since i blabbed about everything in the post-reading notes, but as much as i fought myself to get this done, i really enjoyed writing a long fic again! hopefully i can get myself to write another one this year...

nov 18 // beloved, beloved, let me be clear

18 sentences on zero & alice + macross frontier references! man, when i really got to the point about the earrings i was thinking of sheryl a lot....

kept it in sentences cause i didn’t have enough time to put up a decent ficlet! but i really wanted to get my screaming out of my system....... i used to do sentences + three word sentences challenges before, and doing one again was pretty fun!

but really.... zero’s route kept me happy for days???? their buildup + dynamic was something i was totally w e a k for, no joke..... thank gods the collection event was going on, bc i really made good use of my stocked chapter tickets lolol!

i was especially excited come the ball scene, and that cg..... a h a h a.... i need more of those pretty cgs where i can see alice’s face + costume change....... 

nov 20 // coloring inside the lines

jonah + alice + makeup!!!! tbh this was really fun, i enjoyed writing this one - if i remember, this was a fic that i managed to continuously work on the day i thought it up!

jonah may not be my best boy but tbh i find writing him very easy - i guess it’s because i’m very fond of characters like him!!! those uptight nobles who are as prideful as hell but can definitely live up to their name + are more capable than their bragging suggests... idk if there’s a general trope name for these doods, but i especially like analyzing their motivations + convictions!!!

i liked how i ended it, but i apparently i made an actual ending that’s now a snippet in my drafts - jonah & alice head to the ball, and somewhere along some bystanders’ flow of conversation someone drops a comment about jonah’s lips looking... quite more luscious than usual, lolol. so t h i r s t y. upon hearing this, alice can’t seem to stop smiling for some reason..... 

nov 27 // blue fields, verdant skies

a practice drabble set centric on a ray/alice development that i liked so much i made it into a series - plus, it’s black army content and honestly i need to write more of them! my red army bias is showing whoooooops

it’s a feudal + arranged marriage au, with the latter... being quite spontaneous. it’s those types of marriages where neither have even met - not even once - only to face each other come the wedding... so it’s a given that audiences from both parties are rather curious how this will turn out.

since i had the theme of fate in mind, ray was the automatic pick for the male lead. the rest of the black army is a given and for kicks, i added dean and dalim! i actually want to write about them + mousse, but since i’m still unsure on their characterizations i’ve been holding them off.... but i gave in anyway.....

alice is again named for word count convenience purposes since it’s in actual 100 words aka drabble form! i have planned scenes + an ending already in mind, but going there is pretty hard bc.... i still have to write the scenes in between + resist temptation to expand further on other scenes, haha....

initially i was planning to keep it updated here as well, but any more updates of this are on ao3 instead! the formatting looks better there instead of my blog tbh, and it also gives it a sort of muted tone to the story that works with me!

this is also the 31st fic in this blog, marking an end of the challenge liz bestowed to me lolol - since i brought this blog back to life around june, i was dared that by the end of the year, i should’ve posted more than 15 fics to add up to the initial 15 i had already posted before, thus the numbers on my fics back then.... now that i actually succeeded, i can stop counting lololol!!!! tho hopefully i can still be pretty active this year....

dec 22 // duck, duck, bullet

oliver & fenrir on guns... this probably wins as the most spontaneous idea i had on my head - tbh, i wasn’t even sure where i was going with it at first! but i’m sure i was suddenly thinking about that one detective conan movie.... then it became kid!oliver with a gun.....

i wonder if he tests the bullets at night, when he’s in adult form.... then again, kid!oliver with a gun still works.... say that because he’s a genius inventor, he made some models to serve as his shooting targets.... but another thought that amuses me more is.... blanc does the bullet testing for him!?

lololol i already thought about blanc being oliver’s live target, but i also find blanc with a gun very interesting.......... i mean, blanc certainly doesn’t look like he can fight, but who knows??? i mean, mousse is the former ace of hearts, but i still can’t imagine him fighting..... appearances can be deceiving....

the two aside, i wonder how fenrir even met oliver and got him working on his bullets........ was it through blanc or other connections???? how long have they been seller and buyer???? does anyone else commission anything from oliver?????? hmmmm.....

dec 23 // terms of surrender

i’ve been told by liz + luci + other friends that i needed to practice writing more.... cheesy fluff. i’m not sure if this sirius/alice piece counts, lol. in fact, i think it’s my definition of fluff i see here - and it translates to not exactly fluffy at all!

tho if you want me to be honest about it - when i write suitor/alice stuff, how alice was characterized in the suitor’s route is still my basis for how i’ll write her, and sirius’ alice................ haha......... i think she’s the alice that’s honestly easy to write but i choose to avoid.......... 

i don’t dislike the sirius/alice dynamic per se, tho. i do find it cute, especially if cybird stops emphasizing the issue of maturity in the relationship on alice’s side. i understand - i really do - that it’s a potential issue in the relationship, but...... that’s not the only problem you can possibly have as time passes, right?????

on another note, it’s funny that only sirius gets to be harped about the maturity due to age difference issue - setting aside blanc, who heavens know how old he is, lancelot’s 29 and since alice is presumed to be around ray + fenrir’s age, you could say that she’s 24 or even 23 to be safe.... so that makes a 5 / 6 years difference but it’s never brought up, lol. but i guess it’s because unlike lancelot, the black army’s been making sirius’ age a running gag....

anyway, this piece is pretty decent! i was thinking of something along the lines of mornings between a “married couple”.... there were two scenarios i had in mind, and i opted to write this one out first.... maybe i’ll have the second one posted up here another day.

dec 28 // a chain of black thrones

pre-game!sirius & ray and bc i was thinking a lot about the previous chosen, the former jack of spades!!! i wonder if the armies have a set age for retirement lolol... it would be awesome if there was still a chosen who’s already past his 50s or something, haha!

since sirius was constantly badgered to take on the role of king, i was also wondering about how long the black army was ‘king-less’... i mean, if the tension between both armies was really as great as they say, having no king puts the black army at a precarious position... i also thought that ‘nah, maybe there was a king or something but maybe the black army didn’t like him or something so they insisted that sirius take it instead’ but sirius’ 1st anniv. epilogue says otherwise - there really was a period that the black army had no king, wow. how the heck did they deal with that???? surely the red army saw this as a display of vulnerability....

can the black army’s chosen choose to leave their posts when they feel like it??? when they’re defeated by a challenger, what happens to them - a demotion, or do they serve under the ‘new’ chosen??? does the black army’s chosen change constantly because of their meritocracy + challenger system??? like, how do they deal with that, and do they announce their changes in chosen each council meeting??? each new question just snowballed my curiosity, whoops...

there were so many angles i thought of but i decided to settle for addressing the king-less state of the black army... through the eyes of a veteran who’s probably served many kings throughout his time of service as part of the black army’s chosen.

i gave this jack of spades character a name, actually - garret folner. maybe someday i’ll write him again, bc i actually enjoyed thinking about the present + past chosen interactions - maybe i’d think about that for the red army, but this time i find the black army’s side more interesting for this situation.

dec 29 // steadfast tin soldier

a zero/alice piece for zeroweek - i was about to post pt. 1 as a standalone, but then i just thought about how.... zero bought alice a gown.... but never got to dance with her at the day of the ball..... so i rushed to add pt. 2 haha!

with the addition of pt. 2 it looks cut short tho - i did think of putting a scene in between, but no good ideas came into mind bc i was too fascinated with the dancing scene... i swear at some point i will find myself writing a fic or a part of a fic that’s a dance scene for the rest of the ikerev suitors + alice....

this is the kind of fluff i live for, actually... i’m totally fine with the steamy content cybird throws during events + bonus stories, but if i were to be honest i say.... where’s my non-sexual intimacy????? the simple, wholesome stuff?????????????????

man, i feel hilarious for typing that out..... but well, i guess it’s a matter of different strokes for different folks, lol!

[onwardintolight]

In which Onward rereads the Thrawn Trilogy and writes a massive review (and some other related stuff)

Alright, so I know I said that the characterization vs. plot thing in new canon vs. Legends was a rant for another time, but I’ve been thinking about it nonstop since and I really need to get a few thoughts out, so I guess this is that time, lol.

I’ve recently been diving into some of the Legends books for the first time in years. Partly because I’ve started listening to audiobooks and can get a whole lot more reading done in a day than I was able to before, and partly... well, I’m just curious to revisit it. I read a number of books from the old EU as a kid, and I definitely had mixed feelings back then. On the one hand, I was delighted—more Star Wars! Yay! On the other hand are the mixed feelings, which have so faded from memory over time that all I can remember anymore is that I didn’t like how the books portrayed Leia.

So anyway, I’ve been curious to give some of them a shot again, and see what I think now (all except COPL. I’m never going back to that one). I started with two that have come on my radar through the Han x Leia fandom, Tatooine Ghost and Razor’s Edge. They were wonderful! I absolutely loved Tatooine Ghost, especially. Razor’s Edge was super fun and had some truly fantastic moments (including some unforgettable shippy ones), but it felt more plot-driven than I tend to prefer (give me ALL the deep character stuff!). Despite that, I still loved it. I already own Tatooine Ghost and I plan to get my own copy of Razor’s Edge, too.

Then I decided to revisit the Thrawn trilogy. 

Oh boy.

Before I dive into that, though, I first want to say that I have many friends on here for whom the old EU is their Star Wars. I have the utmost admiration for you all, and I mean no disrespect. I support you in this being your Star Wars 100%. I’m not seeking to get into any big arguments or flame wars. In fact, I will put most of my ranting about Heir to the Empire et al under a cut, so please feel free not to engage if that sort of thing bothers you. 

Honestly, I’m a big fan of focusing on positivity in fandom, of focusing on what I love and not harassing others who enjoy things I don’t. That being said, I do support a good critique. I guess what I’m saying is that I’m not trying to force my views on anyone, but I can certainly express them in my own space and support other people’s right to express theirs in their space. What better space to do so than on my tumblr?

Before I go under the cut, I have one last question for my old EU stans. Based on my enjoyment of Tatooine Ghost and Razor’s Edge, and knowing I’m a particular sucker for character-driven stories, especially if they involve Leia and Han (and/or their ship), are there any other Legends books you’d recommend? Please let me know because I would love to discover more of that goodness!

Now, onto the Thrawn trilogy....

(It probably goes without saying, but major spoilers ahead)

.

.

Disclaimer: I’m sorry if I get some of the details wrong; I listened to the audiobooks and don’t have access to the books themselves right now so i’m writing out all these thoughts from memory

About Leia

So, it turns out that little me was right. Older me had the exact same reaction upon reading the Thrawn trilogy. What the heck did Zahn do to Leia? She seemed so diminished, shrinking. Hardly like Leia at all. If I had been reading a physical book, I would have been tempted to throw it numerous times.

First of all, she was set aside almost entirely for the first book. Despite the fact that the Empire was looking for Luke too, Luke got to be free and keep roaming the galaxy, doing his thing, and Leia was forced into hiding. If I remember right, it wasn’t really her choice (I believe it was Han who refused to take her no for an answer), nor did she argue it much. She just kind of followed the men in her life and let them do all the leading and galaxy-saving. Sounds a lot like Leia, right? *rolls eyes* Overall, she didn’t do much, and she didn’t have any part in the big climactic battle. 

(On another note this reminds me a little of one of Zahn’s new canon books, Thrawn Alliances. SPOILER ALERT: at a key moment, Thrawn pleads with Padme to talk with Anakin and try to convince him not to do something really terrible and disastrous that probably will result in people dying, and Padme basically just sighs, throws up her hands and says something like “It’s no use. When he gets this way no one can convince him of anything” and I just want to SCREAM BECAUSE NO THAT’S NOT THE FREAKING PADME I KNOW AND SERIOUSLY???)

Anyway. *calms down* 

In Dark Force Rising, Leia had a much more interesting plotline as she wins the allegience of the Noghri. I liked her better here, and she seemed a tiny bit more like the Leia I know. But it still just felt... lackluster. 

In The Last Command, she’s once again pushed to the side thanks to the men in her life making the decisions in the name of protecting her. True, I understand that for the majority of these books, she’s been pregnant, and so it’s not just about protecting her, but about protecting the twins. But that didn’t stop her from doing what she felt she needed to in Dark Force Rising. And in this book, she’s already given birth. Winter’s there; she can take care of the twins (as she eventually does). When the heroes assemble and go to Wayland for the big climax of the trilogy, she’s convinced by the men to stay behind (*cue me throwing imaginary book across the room*). Honestly, it felt contrived for the sake of the plot (she has to be there for what happens next) and more than a little bit sexist. 

She does eventually go, however, which made me want to cheer. I would have hated it way more if she hadn’t gotten to participate in the big last battle with C’baoth, particularly in light of the way the books had set her up as a Jedi-in-training (not very far along, but still). I was excited because surely this must mean she plays a big part in that, right? 

...She does not. She basically shows up and then gets trapped, doing hardly anything. Plot-wise, she’s pretty much there to provide an extra lightsaber and moral support of the Force-user variety. I’m glad she got to be there, but... yeah, overall, I’m really not happy with how these books treated my favorite character, and one of the actual main characters of the OT. It kind of felt like she was replaced by Mara, tbh. Which leads me to...

About Mara

Mara, like Leia used to be, is a very angry person, and for good reason. But her anger came off in these books as rather petulant and irrational. Once again, it felt a bit sexist. I hope I’m wrong, but the trajectory seems to be a trope that Leia has already been subject to (in ROTJ, as much as I love that movie, and with the job finished in this trilogy): Soften the angry woman. Make her pleasant and pliable and a little bit subservient. Legends fans, PLEASE tell me this doesn’t happen to Mara. I hope she continues to be a sarcastic, independent woman who takes no sh*t. I hope she loses none of her power, even as she loves and marries Luke. 

Mara had probably the biggest character arc of this entire trilogy. Unfortunately, that isn’t saying much. I really felt like her story had a lot of potential and could have been really compelling, but Zahn just doesn’t seem to know how to write characters with depth. In the end, her big moment of throwing off the Emperor’s power over her honestly just felt kind of contrived and shallow. Oh look, here’s a clone of Luke she can kill instead. That will magically make it all go away. Convenient. 

I wanted to love her. I think I probably could love her, if I read good fanfic. The problem is that the source material leaves all depth to the imagination.

About Everything Else

I mentioned that Mara seems to have the biggest character arc, but that wasn’t saying much. I had a lot of trouble distinguishing any other character arcs at all. The characters all seemed to be caught up in this big plot, carried along with it and deposited victorious at the end, without any obvious growth or change (except, again, for Mara). 

I suppose you could say that Luke learned to stand on his feet without the help of Ben’s Force ghost. But that was given such minor emphasis that I didn’t even think of it until this moment, weeks after finishing the book. 

Aside from my rage at the misogyny, I think this gets to the heart of why I disliked these books. The motivations and emotional/personal journeys of the characters are of utmost importance to me. To me, they’re the whole point. When a book is all plot and little character, I just... don’t care. It doesn’t feel real or relevant. It doesn’t show me that I can slay dragons, too.

I know that theoretically, I could imagine those character journeys. I could fill in the blanks in my mind, or through fic. I have a big imagination; I’m really pretty good at such things.

But tbh, when it comes to these books, I don’t even want to. To me, the plot itself felt pretty lackluster. I keep using the word “contrived” but it fits so well. Things happened and decisions were made that didn’t make much sense, just so the plot could go the way Zahn wanted it to. Now of course the same argument could be made for new canon (particularly, imho, the ST movies), but at least with new canon, there’s a deliberate and largely persistent focus on character. (And less sexism.) 

Other complaints: 

- I got sick of C’baoth in the first book. His villainy was not the least bit fearful or intimidating. His nearly prevailing over the heroes at Wayland felt more accidental than anything.

- Don’t get me started on stupid Bel Iblis and his stupid hurt manly pride that the women in power have to coddle and bow down to before he will lift a finger to help during a genuine EMERGENCY when he was desperately NEEDED (*cue me throwing the imaginary book across the room yet again*) (I think Leia would have had a few more choice words for him than she did in this book. They instantly presented themselves to my mind, at least)

- I can understand why Thrawn was such a big deal when these books first came out, but I think Thrawn is kind of oversaturated these days, and tbh I’m kind of sick of him (I’m going to blame the more recent canon Thrawn trilogy for that). While I like a good Sherlock Holmes mystery, I’m not too big on admiring that sort of “man as a machine” type character. Rationality is not everything, not by a long shot. It is empty and, frankly, shortsighted on its own. The best part about Thrawn’s story in these books for me was seeing him make mistakes (actual mistakes! yay!) and meet his end, perhaps in part due to that over-reliance on rationality and arrogance in his own abilities.

A few things I did like:

- another main female character, yay! Two if you count Winter

- I thought Talon Karrde was an enjoyable character and I’d love to see more of him

- I remember loving the vornskrs as a kid and a little bit of that adoration returned when I read this, bringing with it all sorts of happy nostalgia

- some parts of the plot were fun and exciting, and I could understand why they might feel iconic and Star Wars-y to others

Overall, however, I think Thrawn as a character kind of represents these books as a whole. It’s all very cerebral and practical. There’s art but it only serves the purpose of the rational. To me, these books felt like they were all mind, no soul.

I know that those of you who hold these books dear may disagree, and that’s fine. Honestly, despite my serious problems with them, I don’t hate these books. I might even read them again someday, maybe. I may be convinced to appreciate them more once I read people’s headcanons and hear what people love about it. So with that said, what DO you love about it? Where do you see these books’ soul?