#it was the easiest for me to comprehend as a kid

[onebizarrekai]

you ever think about the fact that link having golden blonde hair and a middle part in ocarina of time probably only happened because it was the 90s and even though it's arguably one of the most memorable designs of link, that hairstyle of his never came back for a reason

[redr0sewrites]

Could you do Arkham Knight Jason? Or if not just regular canon Jason, and the things you can unintentionally say to him that would get him hot under the collar? What can you say intentionally to make this man blush like a tomato and have him kicking his feet, sighing dreamily like a schoolgirl when he thinks about it later. Give us your takes on my special bbygirl

🥀A/n: could NOT choose between the two sooooo i added both... teehee!!!

🥀Character(s): Ak!Jason x reader, Jason Todd x reader

🥀Cw: fluff, suggestive, no smut but mentions of sex/praise kink, jason being a liiiiittle horny

🥀minors dni

Jason Todd:

Jason is absolutely whipped for you, any and everything you say makes him fluttery !!! he's disgustingly in love with you and is not afraid to show it

starting off strong for any unintentional comments, any possessive or jealous statements definitely excite him. he would never purposely make you jealous, but Jason can't deny that he finds it attractive when you refer to him as yours. if someone is flirting with him in front of you (and not taking the hint that he is NOT interested) and you interrupt them and say like "thats my boyfriend", Jason nearly giggles!!!

additionally, loves when you call him "my partner", or "my love". anything that depicts him as yours, because yes, he is yours, and you are his. not in a controlling way, but in a "i trust you to give my whole heart to you i love and trust you completely" way

this isn't exactly a comment, but he really appreciates when you defend him? if someone is talking about how he's a murderer or a monster, he certainly doesn't outwardly say anything, but if you speak up about it? he's smiling to himself and blushing like a schoolgirl. Jason would never ask you to defend him, but it's very reassuring to know that you would regardless

when it comes to intentional comments, its even easier to fluster him

flirting, even corny flirting, always makes him very happy. you guys could be married for 12 years with two kids and you using a cringey pickup line still makes him weak in the knees. he loves being romantic with you, and when you are intentionally being romantic in return, it just really affects him positively

sooooo starved for compliments. especially when it comes to his body or looks. after the lazarus pit, his entire body changed. he skipped years of his life, changing from a 15 year old boy to a 19 year old man. he grew in size and strength, and it takes him a while to get used to his body.

it could be as simple as calling him handsome! it just makes Jason feel appreciated and he loves that he appeals to you physically.

i think he's the type to have a bit of a praise kink, so when it comes to compliments, it either makes him really soft and romantic or it takes a different route that leads to the bedroom. he loves praising you, but he really doesn't receive enough praise so it matters a lot to him

COMMENT ON HOW STRONG HE IS AND HOW SAFE HE MAKES YOU FEEL HE WILL MELT. if you say anything along the lines of "being around you makes me feel safe", he will probably cry and makeout with you whaaat who said that 😇 Jason would never want you to be afraid of him, and he cares a lot about your comfort. the idea that he makes you feel safe and comfortable is something he can't understand, and doesn't comprehend how someone as perfect as you could be with him. so please please PLEASE tell him that he makes you feel safe and secure.

Ak!Jason Todd

now Ak!Jason isn't as easy to fluster, simply because he doesn't outwardly show it as much, but he still has a few things that make him tick

when it comes to unintentional things, reassuring him that you'll stay by his side no matter what is a big one. he's lost people, including himself, and he doesn't want to lose you too. reminding Jason that you're going to stay with him, and that you love him unconditionally, is one of the easiest ways to fluster him

another thing that reminds him of how much he loves you is when you shit talk people together. in my opinion, there is nothing more gratifying as someone who's been through abuse than to hear someone else realizing the truth about the people who hurt you. if you started hating on the joker, or criticizing batman's methods, Ak!Jason immediately has heart eyes!!! especially if your animated and funny about it.

if you have any personal vendettas or people you hate, Ak!Jason will gladly join you in venting and ranting. he thinks it's attractive when you compare others to him, claiming that he's so much better than your exes, and ranting on and on about how hot he is and how much better he treats you. he wants to know he's doing a good job, but it's also a bit of a relief that you think highly of him yk? he's also more than willing to make them "disappear" if they're bothering you..

Ak!Jason is more of the jealous type, and would be a lot more into you admitting that you're his than he's yours. if another Big Bad™️ was flirting with you, say for example, Scarecrow, and you respond that you're already taken, or that Ak!Jason is your boyfriend? not only is it a show of your loyalty, but its also really hot in his opinion. he also beats up Scarecrow, but that's irrelevant....!

when it comes to intentional things you can say, this is a bit trickier

like canon Jason, Ak!Jason is a bit insecure about his appearance, especially his scars. if you were to compliment his scars, he wouldn't believe you at first. Ak!Jason does not have much love for himself, and doesn't believe that you can truly see him as attractive when he's so scarred, physically and emotionally. PLEASE compliment his scars, it will not only fluster him but help rebuild his confidence in general

again with compliments, but this time on his efficiency and his skills in general. the work he does is bloody and brutal, and Ak!Jason would never want to scare you. however, if you witnessed him fighting or killing someone (especially in your defense), and complimented him on it? it would probably turn him on a bit ngl. a small part inside of him wants to be your hero, he wants to protect you and keep you safe. if you find it helpful, and even attractive, when he does so, this man is HEAD OVER HEELS in love

bragging about him. yet another intentional turn-on, Ak!Jason loves overhearing you mention to someone else how lucky you are to have him, how strong and brave and wonderful he is, etc. say you both are at some function or other, maybe meeting your family. start bragging about him and watch just how quickly he needs to pull you aside to "talk to you", or how suddenly an excuse comes up and you both have to head home. the fact that you think so highly of him, and would go out of your way to inform others of how much you adore him, is sooooo attractive in his eyes

the last intentional way to fluster Ak!Jason is simple yet effective: i love you. Jason in general is not used to love, but especially Ak!Jason. hearing you say i love you is just so lovely. if you start listing the things you love about him, he will melt. he loves you so, so much, and is so grateful you feel the same

urhrhrhrhrhrh i love him soo much 😭 i need me a Jason Todd smh. i love the idea of Jason w a praise kink, it opens a whole new world of possibilities i swearrrrr. anyways !!! hope u enjoy !!!

[sickofthistoxicshit]

I think I realized what bugged me with Buck's coming out story in 7x04.

It's that he's "rewarded" for "bad behavior".

Don't get me wrong I was probably one of the loudest advocates for Bi!Buck, and I'm deliriously happy we got that.

But the fact that 7x04 went almost exactly the same as 2x01, behavior wise, that bratty, how am I not the center of attention? I'll show you your place, (the respect your elders crap) was very disturbing for me.

Like, aside for the fact that Buck finds out that he likes to be railed by boys as well as doing girls, there's no real character development here.

He knew, intellectually, at first that he was jealous of the attention Tommy got from Eddie, which really, considering everything that predated that was completely understandable that Eddie will look for that friend to do stuff with that they both enjoy somewhere else.

At first, it was the "She sees me," and as we can comprehend from "welcome back to the world of the living Buck, you were missed." Means that Buck was absent from their lives while he handled his death in the form of a relationship with a death doula, that he immersed himself in, completely leaving Eddie to deal with his trauma and loss, of Buck's death, and the consequent heartbreak of Buck choosing Natalia, on his own.

And now Eddie finally has that new friend, who's so much like him, to hang out with, that is worlds different than Buck and suddenly wide awake Buck realizes he's "losing" his best friend.

And I'll be the devil advocate for a minute and ask the Theo (teen wolf) question, come on Buck was he really still your best friend?

Because Eddie and Tommy have been hanging out for almost two weeks? (Though pretty sure more, considering that they have the basketball get-together more often than not and Chimney was probably the one who introduced Tommy and Eddie) it reached a level where Christopher met and loved Tommy (because seriously dude's awesome) almost instantly, but Buck didn't know that until he babysat Christopher and the kid told him about it.

Which makes me ask, where was Buck all that time? Absent? Taking Eddie for granted in that he will always be there?

Eddie has kept his mouth shut through a lot, Buck's sprem donor adventure, the death doula, the she sees me line, through months of separation because Buck cut himself off from everything they were outside of work.

On the surface, they were fine. But Eddie loves Buck enough to welcome him with open arms to everything, Vegas (you know he would have been ecstatic if Buck could go with them), basketball, babysitting Christopher which is world's different than 3x05-3x09.

He even forgives Buck immediately for railroading him on the basketball court.

Not mentioning the whole posturing at the firehouse, I have yet to manage to watch the entire scene (or 2x01 posturing) without cringing and fast forwarding it.

When Tommy goes to see Buck, he's there to figure out what is happening and to apologize in his and Eddie's names because THEY didn't mean to exclude him?? (In the two weeks they were building a friendship? And it's not like Eddie didn't invite Buck to play basketball. It's that Buck didn't want to.)

And Buck, even though Maddie told him he was wrong in what he did, didn't go to see Eddie and apologize. He immediately assumes that Eddie wouldn't want to see him.

First off, that's crap, he made you his son legal guardian, and second, at this point, you're a grown ass adult, do the right thing and even if he's mad at you call to APOLOGIZE!

It's not hard, it's supposed to be the easiest thing in the world, you hurt someone you love, you apologize.

How did Gibson tell Maya in Station 19 after she hurt Carina (emotionally) "You'd be surprised how far an apology can get you".

Buck should have apologized.

Now that kiss was something else, Tommy was super sweet and Buck proved himself to be an adorable bossy bratty bottom, the railing will be epic.

BUT! That relationship will come at Eddie’s expanse. This time excluding Eddie.

So not only Buck was mad that he was excluded, he's the asshole who befriended his best friend's friend cause he wanted the attention (of whom? Will be debated for months around this fandom) And now he excludes Eddie from his life again and disconnects him from the new friend he made.

That is isolation. Because as experience taught any of us, when our best friend gets a boyfriend/girlfriend they are busy! Either dating them or doing them or both.

Trust me I have had enough breathy phone calls answered by my gay best friend to learn to text first, and it didn't matter how many time I told him to stop answering during sex.

My girl friends knew better, but they also didn't call back until after they broke up with whoever the dude of the month was.

So yeah, I am mad on Eddie’s behalf, because Buck has not only done to him what he hates being done to himself, but he also reverted in the behavior to Buck 1.0 in 2x01.

I wish the Tommy/Buck pairing will be sweet and fun and explore new avenues for Buck.

But I want to see some growth damn it! Being out as Bi is brave.

But it is not a character growth if the people around you get hurt so you can get your way.

A lot like the lawsuit story (which, by the way, I was on Buck’s side for that one) but this is different, this is 4 years later and so many things happened.

Eddie went to therapy, and he reacts differently to certain situations now, when 5 years ago, he would have lost his head.

Buck did therapy, but nothing was solved, he's still reacting the same way he did in S2 and I am over it.

So yay to Bi!Buck!

But I wish the writers didn't make so that the growth won't be as significant as it should have been with giving him the same patterns of crappy behavior he exhibited in 2x01.

And there is no, "you're badass under pressure brother" here to cultivate Buck’s praise kink, just a kiss from Eddie’s friend.

Eddie who is sitting injured at home, alone, again (no, Marisol doesn't count) and Buck hadn't even apologized to him, but he was rewarded for making googly eyes at the wrong guy, because it's perfectly normal to be this jealous over not getting the attention of someone you just met, over the attention of your best friend of 6 years.

I understand this may offend a lot of people, but I had to get it out of my system.

No offense is intended, I just call it the way I see it.

I feel like Bi!Buck deserved a better intro story than what it got in 7x04, that kiss shouldn't have been made bittersweet, and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one seeing it.

Anyway, I'm hoping for some kind of resolution and at least a heartfelt apology from Buck to Eddie in the next episode, coz it doesn't look like Buck will go to Eddie to apologize.

He and Marisol will stumble onto them at the restaurant and then there will be the whole why didn't you tell me drama, and I love you anyway thing, and it will all be about Buck, again.

Which fair. But does not absolve him railroading Eddie physically to get God knows who's attention.

Even Tommy didn't think it was about him, he literally asks bewildered "My attention?" I love him even more for that by the way.

And Buck should tell the firefam on his own terms, not because he has to.

But we reach another point, where the boys talk about their relationships with their significant others, only when they are forced to, again. Which is not normal at all for any kind of best friends.

Anyway, if you managed this far, thank you❤️

[the-brash-spud]

So I have this bit of writing that I thought was hilarious, but sadly, it got scrapped along with the whole first attempt at the fic I'm writing, but I still want people to enjoy it, so imma just drop it here;

Nightwing sat there. Cross-legged applesauce on the chair. He was looking right at him with so much mischief written across his partially covered face that Marvel’s stomach did more than one funny flip. Trying to keep calm, Billy smiled as he took his hands off the keyboard, laying them on the chairs armrests as he sat deeper and leaned back into the chair while turning towards the blue bird. “Hey there! Need help with something?” He tilted his head as he offered, playing nonchalant about the situation. 

“You know, Batman once tripped on his own cape?” The smaller man said so suddenly he might have as well slapped Captain.

“Wha-”

“And he cried last month after he had to be put on some heavy pain killers after a serious injury because Red Robin called him “Dad” in panic.” Nightwing cut off the shocked hero. “Just last week, a villain managed to escape him because the laces in his new boots weren’t properly secured, and he tripped on those too.” He ignored the expression of horror growing on Marvel’s face and instead leaned in to whisper. “He can perfectly dance Cha-cha even without the music.” Apparently, the fading of colour in a fellow hero’s face was something that only encouraged the hero of the night. “He adopted so many similar looking kids I’ll bet my yearly salary that if another black-haired blue-eyed kid showed up at his house, he wouldn’t even notice.” 

Was this some sort of psychological warfare? A tactic from Batman to see who is the instigator of most of the gossip? Did he want to see how Billy manages to deal with stress? To see what he would do with possible blackmail? What sort of plot could the Gothamites have to do this? It felt like forever but also an instant as he stared at Nightwing. Did he expect something, anything? Some sort of reaction? Captain had so many questions, but none could leave his lips, so he went with the easiest one: “Why?”

“Nobody here knows anything about you, and you don’t pry into anybody’s business here.” Nightwing began. “You’re an immortal being of magic as far as people are aware. In the end they trust you with their lifes but believe me, they don’t always believe you. There are bets going on about which ones of your reports are actually just you pulling their leg. If you now went and told them everything I just said, word for word, they wouldn’t believe you because apart from the aforementioned point, they are also sure I already left.” The face of the smaller man was serious as he explained. 

“Then… then why? What’s the point?” Billy was still in a serious state of shock. He didn’t even comprehend what Nightwing said other heroes thought of him. It just flew over his head. 

The grin on the hero in black was almost wicked as he answered simply. “I felt like causing a bit of mischief.” He then just uncrossed his legs in one fluid motion and gracefully stood up. “Anyway, good talk! Can I have your name, Captain?”

So yeah, there was a bit before and after when it comes to this, lol

Do whatever with the idea, enjoy.

[seramilla]

So in the biological kids AU the girls Odette mostly Clara is still too young have asked Carmilla a lot about their other mom. They know they are supposed to have two and want to know Carmilla does tell somethings about Sera like she can't meet them yet because of reasons how she is kind and wonderful and would love them. She tells stories about her and their time together in their youth and says she can't be there because she has an important job so whatever lie she tells them or maybe even tells them the truth of she runs heaven a wonderful place were all the good people will go one day. (She plans to break the truth to them when they are older.) Maybe she even has a photo of Sera and her together and shows them their other mommy. When Odette and Clara see Carmilla take Sera inside they are excited to finally meet thier other mommy but unfortunately Carmilla won't let them in the room yet.

Odette was about the human equivalent of 4 years old when she'd first started asking about Sera. Carmilla's eldest had been too young to understand the concept of parentage when Clara was born, but by the time Lilith and Lucifer had Charlie, she started to comprehend there was something uniquely different about herself and Hell's princess.

"Why does Charlie have a daddy?" Odette had asked her one day, completely out of the blue, after a full day of babysitting the Morningstar daughter. Odette had a way of entertaining Clara and Charlie, and could keep them occupied for hours. But when Lucifer had come to pick up Charlie that evening, the blond-haired girl had stared at the King of Hell for the entire visit. Then as soon as he'd left, she dropped the question Carmilla had never seen coming. It took her aback quite a bit at the time, and she had to think about how to answer in a way Odette could understand.

"Because she just does. Some little girls have daddies," Carmilla had said, hoping the answer would be sufficient. It wasn't.

"Do Clara and I have a daddy?" Odette asked next, and Carmilla almost toppled over, at the bluntness of her inquiry. Satan, but her eldest was too stinking observant for her age.

Carmilla had considered lying. That would have been easiest. But she'd thought better of it, and simply told Odette the truth.

"No, mija," Carmila stated simply, bending down to meet her girl at eye-level. "You only have me. And your...other mama."

That had been the first time Odette had ever heard that. She smiled brightly, looking around, as if there'd always been another person in the room she'd just never noticed before. "Really?! Where is she?!"

"She's...not here, mi querida. She's in Heaven."

"Heaven? Why is she in Heaven?"

"Because...because she has a very important job to do. The most important job. She's like a...like Lucifer, you see. She oversees a lot of people, and they could never be without her guidance."

Odette's eyes had widened again upon hearing this. The little girl had taken this story to fantastical places in her small, imaginative mind, no doubt. "Like Lucifer? Does that mean me and Clara are princesses?! Like Charlie?!"

Carmilla laughed. The idea had been so silly...but also so pure, and so much like her daughter to try and make sense of every difficult thing Carmilla ever told her. She hoped someday she could look at things in such a positive way. Her children were such an inspiration, even when the world was so cruel to them.

"Sort of like that! Would you like me to call you Princess Odette?"

"And Princess Clara!" Of course, Odette had always put her sister first, as well. That was nothing new with her.

Several months later, the girls would finally be introduced to the one Odette had gotten used to calling their "Queen" mama. The circumstances were far from ideal, and as Carmilla shoved through the doorway of her home that day, carrying a filthy, battered and bruised Sera to her room, the girls had watched in confused rapture. The person from Carmilla's stories, the one who had kept Odette up at night, dreaming about her other mama she so desperately wanted to meet, was here at last!

But she was nothing like the regal, royal figure the child had always pictured in her mind. She was kind, and gentle, but oh so weak, and all she'd wanted to do the first few days was sleep. And when Odette and Clara had finally met her in person, Odette also learned she would be a big sister again in a matter of days.

Her small world had grown tenfold in such a short time. And it would only continue to do so, in the days and weeks to come. But Odette decided she would do whatever was asked of her, and help her mama. Both of them. Because she always wanted to be helpful. That was just always her way.

[lunar-rcp]

:¨ ·.· ¨: `· . ꔫ old school days, written as painful memories.

☆ really angsty poli focus. has slight themes of depression. ☆

"The past is the past, but it still tastes bitter." ⋆.˚

Poli had always struggled in school when he was young. Due to him moving from Korea to a different speaking country, the world had always been against him. And he didn't know how to counter that with his inability with little English.

And the worst of all, his mental state dropping by each day.

Once again, he was faced with one of the teachers he always sighed upon when entering his class. This teacher was responsible for most of his extracurriculars. A teacher who was supposed to be welcoming to his students, a teacher where one could trust their soul with.

Unfortunately, that wasn't the case with Poli.

“Again?! Are you kidding me, you're taking even more days off?” He shouted. Poli flinched by the sudden rise of volume in his voice.

“I'm– Sorry, Mister. I-It's.. j-just.. I haven't been feeling.. good–” Poli felt his voice shudder with each sentence. He was trying his best. He had already spent a whole night mentally preparing a script. Just for him to be cut off by his teacher's booming voice which filled the room. Thank the stars nobody else was in the classroom.

“Speak normally! God, you come to this country. This academy. And you can't even comprehend the easiest sentences?!” He slammed his hands on Poli's desk, causing a soft yelp from Poli. “And what's with this, ‘depression’? Ha,” His teacher snorted. “You have nothing to be sad about. You should be grateful that you even got accepted into this elite academy.”

“I-I'm sorry! It-It's just, I don't want to even fail more of my grades– I promise, I'll.. uh..” Poli's voice trailed off, struggling to find the proper English words to say “S-Study more! Yes, I'll study even more!” Poli placed a hand on his own collarbone. “I want to protect the town.”

“...” Poli's teacher was speechless. Poli had a slight glimmer of hope, he thought he was going to listen.

That was until he burst into laughter.

“Haha– Oh my god! You can't be serious, right?! Haha, oh–” His teacher wiped a tear from his eye. “You. Protect a mediocre town? What was it again, Broomstown? The town nobody cares about? That town is only a placement for future buildings of our academy.” He smirked. “And you think you can save that? Think again.”

“You–.. You-!” Poli felt anger bubble in his heart. It wasn't just a town to him. It was a place where he could believe he could protect with everything in his will; even with the amount of misfortunes happening. “I.. can't believe you.” Was only what Poli could muster up. If he could, he would have yelled at his teacher with Korean curse words.

“Now don't you dare use an attitude. You're already failing, are you begging to be kicked out?” His teacher turned around, facing Poli with his back. “Just get out. You're a waste of my time.” His tone was stern, but it was ready to burst any moment again. Poli would rather avoid that.

“..Okay. Goodnight.” A sentence softly rolling its way out of Poli's trembling voice. If he had stayed there any longer, he knew that tears would threaten to spill.

Poli got off his seat and pushed it gently back into its space between the desk he was sitting at. He felt like he did a walk of shame walking back to the two huge doors to his classroom; Even if he and his teachers were the only ones there.

Poli shakily sighed, his breathing becoming at an unpredictable pace. He shut the door behind him lightly, leaning against it.

He didn't understand. More so, he doesn't understand himself.

He felt so selfish. He got into such a pristine academy, an academy where people who give up anything for. And to him, he felt like he snatched dreams away from many.

He felt the selfishness seep into heart once more. Roy was the only one there for him, so why did he feel so alone in this excuse of a world? His classmates tried to interact with him too, but he would push them away with fear. Fear of hurting others.

Tears began to crawl beneath his eyelids. Was this really how the future would play out for him? For him to be an outcast on the thread he was dangling on.

An actor who would only get mountains of trash thrown at him, Poli thought.

That's when he couldn't take his own thoughts anymore. Tears painted over his blue paint, dripping towards the ground. He tries his best to silence his hiccups, but they echo throughout the empty academy hall. It was nighttime afterall.

Oh, if things only got better.

What awaits him, is truly the comfort he needs. The future will accept him as a great member of society. He will feel welcomed into the town, a team who he considers family.

Just not now, but the past will only last for a while.

[heygerald]

HEART MECHANICS - PART 8/9

Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x OFC

Matty knew what it meant to be a pilot, even if she wasn't one herself. She had seen it all growing up; the commitments, the misery, the long fucking hours. She thought she had a pretty good handle on understanding it. But when Bradley proves that he knows how to sweep her off of her feet, she is forced to face the reality of what it meant to watch someone leave.

The only problem with that is emotions had never been her strong suit. Actually, they've never even made it onto the list of things that she was somewhat okay at. So when she finds herself clouded with more feelings than she's familiar with, she does what she does best.

She becomes an absolute fucking terror. That's healthy, right?

Read the story here: part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4 / part 5 / part 6 / part 7 / ... / part 9

Matty is halfway through cooking dinner when the doorbell goes off. She’s not expecting anyone at the moment—though, there was a trio of neighborhood kids who enjoyed ding-dong ditching her whenever the mood struck their fancy—and so she finds herself more annoyed than anything else at the interruption into her Tuesday night routine. Well, routine might be the wrong word for it. Really, she had just gotten out of the shower a few moments ago to a rumbling stomach before spending all of three minutes deciding on the easiest option for dinner: pasta. 

Still, the doorbell was unnecessarily shrill and long-lasting. It nearly drove her up a wall to hear it.

So, of course, before she can consider truly ignoring it, whoever is on her front porch punches it a second time. Then a third. Then, when she’s half considering ripping the stupid thing off the wall so that she never has to hear it again, it goes off a fourth time as well. 

“Jesus fucking Christ, I’m coming!” she shouts.

Perhaps she sounds a lot angrier than she is, or perhaps the neighborhood gang has dealt with her enough times to recognize that it’s not long after the shouting starts before she goes for her airsoft gun. Either way, whoever it is stops, and Matty grumbles to herself as she adjusts the stove burner. 

The last thing she wants to do is start her second kitchen fire of the year. 

The HOA would never let her hear the end of it. 

Satisfied that nothing will burn down, Matty wipes her hands clean on a dish towel while stomping towards the front door. She has half a moment to think that it might be Frank or Boomer—the boys hadn’t stopped checking up on her, even though she had started threatening castration if they continued to interrupt what little alone time she got after work—before she wrenches open the door to be met with—

A bouquet of flowers. Daisies and baby’s breath and something pink as well. 

Matty blinks, not quite comprehending what she’s seeing, and the flowers shift to reveal a pair of warm, brown eyes. 

“Hi,” Bradley grins at her. His grin halts when he catches the bewildered look on her face. He glances between her and the paper wrapped bouquet for a moment before clearing his throat. “Nat said that you would like them. Something about pretty girls liking pretty things.” 

She opens and closes her mouth a few times before snapping back into her body as if she had previously been tethered above for the past few moments. “You brought me… flowers?”

He glances once more between the flowers and her as if he’s not sure which part of the equation she is having trouble understanding before Bradley is practically shoving them into her arms. She accepts them carefully—almost like she’s being given a brand new baby that she’s afraid of breaking—while Bradley scrubs a hand down the back of his neck. Only now does she realize that he’s wearing a clean pair of jeans and a nice floral shirt, musky cologne wafting as he moves. 

He looks good. Like, really good. 

Matty sheepishly glances down at the plaid boxers she is wearing like lounging shorts and the oversized JURASSIC PARK tee that she snagged from Frank’s house. Subtly, she shifts the bouquet in her arms while trying to tug it down as far as it will go. 

“Yeah, I was driving nearby and thought… well, do you have dinner plans tonight?”

She blinks up at him. “Do I have dinner plans?”

The way her voice pitches seems to amuse Bradley greatly. He grins—and oh does he look even better when he’s grinning at her like that—before giving as casual of a shrug as he can manage. 

“Yeah. You.” 

“Um, sorta,” she says while carefully adjusting her hold on the bouquet. 

A few petals flutter to the floor that has her frowning, and as she stoops to pick them up, she finds herself growing flustered. She had never considered herself a flower sort of girl. Really, she could barely keep her ficus alive, and that thing was pretty much a feral mutant at this point that thrived in the chaos of her house. But as she shifts left and right she catches a whiff of the baby’s breath. Mixed with the musk of his collagen that seemed to cling to the paper wrappings Matty finds her brain nearly short-circuiting at the rush of serotonin that floods her nerves. 

When she sweeps her gaze up to Bradley—who is smiling at her as if he can read every single one of her thoughts—she can do nothing to stop the way her cheeks turn bright pink. 

“I mean I’m not going out or anything like that, no one is coming over, but I am halfway through cooking dinner already.” 

He lifts a brow curiously, not having expected that sort of answer. “You cook?”

Matty considers the pot of boiling noodles on her stove, the handful of cherry tomatoes that she had been dicing, and the jar of (what was probably expired) alfredo sauce that she had dug out of the back of her pantry. “...occasionally.”

Bradley seems to read between the lines. His lips turn from a cheeky smile into something almost bashful. “Let’s go on a date.” 

“What—right now?”

“Yeah, right now,” he shrugs, as if he doesn’t see any sort of issue with the proposition. 

And, well, maybe he doesn’t. It’s only been a few days since they had gone out night surfing together, since Matty had told him that she did in fact have feelings that he quite clearly returned, and while they hadn’t seen much of each other on base, she had been expecting him to show up sooner rather than later to make good on his promise to take her out for real. 

Part of her had been excited. Part of her had been dreadful.

As he just smiles up at her from the porch, she has a hard time figuring out which emotion she was feeling more strongly at the moment. 

“I’m not exactly dressed for the occasion,” she argues, albeit a bit pathetically. Matty wasn’t really one to feel self-conscious, but when he looked so put together and handsome and she looked so… like that, it was hard not to feel that there was a clear disadvantage. Besides, this was so out of the blue that she was still having a hard time processing it all. Perhaps, that had been his plan all along. “Like, if we go out—”

“When we go out,” he corrects her without missing a beat.

“When,” she repeats with a huff, flowers shifting from one arm to the other as she waved a hand flippantly in the air while searching for the right words. “I had been hoping to have time to get ready. You know, to primp and what have you. Give you the whole smoke show and all of that, you know? It’d be totally bad for my brand if I went on a first date looking like this.” 

“You don’t look bad,” he deflects. Matty’s response was a sharp, disbelieving look, and Bradley quickly amends his statement while hiding a laugh behind his hand. “I wasn’t ever planning on taking you somewhere with a dress code, Neven. It didn’t really seem like your thing.” 

“Thanks,” she sighs. Then frowns. “I think.” 

“Jesus, I know you like being difficult, but come on. You’re already home. Just take five minutes to change and I promise to tell you that you look pretty.”

“Not just pretty, stunning.”

“Stunning.”

“Unbelievably gorgeous,” she continues. 

“Something from a dream,” he drawls. 

“Like, potentially the hottest person you’ve ever gone out on a date with.” 

He laughs, clearly amused at her nitpicking, and Matty can feel her resolve chip away before his gaze has even settled back on her own. “Promise. Now, will you please just go on a date with me?”

Matty can’t help the way that her mouth pulls up at the sides, can’t help the way that her eyes flutter shyly as she takes another, subtle whiff of the bouquet in her arms. She’s never gotten flowers from someone that wasn’t her family before, and she’s almost not sure how she feels other than the fact that she likes them. From the way that his smile widens it’s clear what her answer will be. 

A good thing considering she doesn’t manage to say anything before a high-pitched alarm starts blaring from her kitchen. Bradley’s gaze jerks over her shoulder before smugly sliding back to her. 

“You cook, huh?”

“Oh, shut up,” she mutters as the alarm continues to scream shrilly in the background.

“Not seeming like such a bad thing that I showed up unannounced now, is it?” he continues while easing back onto the porch railing. Somehow, his smugness is almost palpable in the air between them. “Almost like a knight in shining armor or something. Which I think would make you the princess. Is that ironic? It definitely feels ironic.”

“I hate you.” 

“I’ll just be waiting in the Bronco,” he tells her with a smile while gesturing over his shoulder to where the thing was parked. She admires it for only a second before remembering that there were more important things to worry about at the moment. Like the potential fire. “Don’t worry though, I’ll be sure to tell the fire department the last thing that I saw you wearing if the house goes up in flames.”

“Literally the worst,” she says. 

Bradley shoots her a look that says he knows she’s lying. Matty doesn’t even bother to refute it. Just shuts the door in his wake while trying not to drop her flowers. As she turns in the hallway she catches sight of the flowers in the mirror—takes a moment to admire how pretty they actually are—before the smell of something burning overtakes their dainty floral scent. 

As she rushes to the kitchen to find that her pasta noodles have somehow magically caught on fire in the two minutes that she was gone, she casts a despondent glance towards her ficus. For some reason, he seems to be enjoying the show; Matty actually swears that he has perked up from his typically droopy self in the corner of the room. 

“Judas,” she mutters sourly at him. 

Of course, he says nothing in response. Afterall, he is just a ficus. 

Matty ignores that fact as she dumps the pasta into the sink and showers it with cold faucet water. 

“Now,” she mutters to herself (and the ficus), “what the hell am I supposed to wear on a first date?”

---

Thirty minutes later finds the pair cruising down some backroads along the coast. Matty, by some grace of god, had just finished washing her laundry the night previous. While she had yet to put anything away, it was the first time that she had washed anything in three and a half weeks, and so she was lucky enough to find some items that didn’t smell like spilled beer or sweat to wear. Digging through her laundry to find something suitable for a date at the last possible moment while second guessing everything she saw, however, had left her running extra behind on their non-existent schedule, and because of that she didn’t have time to do much other than run a brush through her hair before she was rushing out the door. 

Then rushing back inside when she realized that she was wearing two different sneakers. 

Bradley had kept his mouth shut about her taking twenty-five minutes to come outside rather than the allotted five. He did however make a show of telling her that she was the prettiest, most stunningly gorgeous, hottest, and sexiest date that he had ever seen in his life.

Matty's response to the compliment was an affectionate middle finger while stating that she could feel his sarcasm from the passenger side seat to which he had pretended to be offended. 

Yet, as they pulled out onto the road, she had to pull some hair loose from behind her ears in hopes of hiding the blush spreading like wildfire across her cheeks. 

Bradley wisely kept his thoughts to himself about that as well; though his pleased smile was telling. 

“I probably should have asked if you liked Greek food ahead of time,” he said while pulling into a cracked parking lot. At the end of it sat a small, slightly dilapidated building that was clearly family owned. Despite the appearance, however, soft music drifted from inside and chatter could be heard through the windows. “But I’ve seen you eat at the mess hall and figured that you’d be fine with anything as long as it wasn’t burnt pasta.”  

She snorted as they made their way inside. “I’m not ashamed to admit that I enjoy food.” 

“Thankfully. This place has four stars on yelp,” he said while wiggling his eyebrows at her. 

“Ooh la la. You really know how to impress a gal, Bradshaw. Consider me swooning already.” 

Bradley held the door open for her with a chuckle. A bell overhead jingled and not a moment later did a portly Greek woman with a cheery smile approach them from the kitchen. She had a heavy accent that got even harder to understand when she led them out through a back door onto a small, nearly empty patio. There were a few tables to choose from—one was occupied by a lone man, another by a trio of women who seemed to be several glasses of wine into the evening—but she led them to the other end of the patio where a small table sat away from the rest of the noise. 

“Good, yes?” she asked. 

Bradley looked to Matty who, having absolutely no opinion whatsoever on where they ate so long as they ate soon, nodded more enthusiastically than necessary.

“Wonderful, my nephew will be back to get your orders soon. Please, sit, sit!” she fluttered around them as they sat down as if she was worried that they would change their minds and leave, but once they were seated she seemed pleased enough to leave them alone. 

He poured them some water from their pitcher as Matty glanced around at the patio in interest. They could see the beach from where they were sitting, although the restaurant was pushed back up a hill that kept them from being able to walk directly onto it. Still, there was a small pergola over their heads strung with Eddison bulbs and some well strung vines that granted them some privacy from the nearby parking lot. 

The effect was obvious. This was clearly an intimate sort of place to eat at. 

“Cute,” she chirped when she returned her attention to the table. Bradley lifted a brow—as if to say but?—and Matty responded by shrugging her shoulders. “What? I can like cute things.”

“I’ll add it to the list.” 

“Oh, there’s a list?”

“Sure there’s a list,” he laughed. “Coffee, caffeine, nicotine…” 

“You make me sound like an addict.” 

“Planes, jets, surfing, beach volleyball,” he continued. She wrinkled her nose while listening to him list off the various things he knew that she liked, half tempted to argue just for the hell of it, but deciding she wanted to see what else he would say more. “Emasculating men, threatening bodily harm, telling pilots to fuck off at bars, at work, in the motorpool when they need a tune-up—” 

Matty rolled her eyes with a snort as he finally got to the punchline. 

“And, now, finally, cute things. And to think that I never saw it coming.”  

“Hilarious,” she drawled with an over the top fake laugh. Bradley clearly thought he was funny, however, and wasn’t the least bit put off by her mocking. “Shouldn’t you be happy that I like it here?” 

“Ecstatic. I’m starving and really didn’t want to have to find somewhere else to eat.” 

“If you were that hungry we could have just eaten back at my house instead of coming all the way out here.” He made a face and she knew without asking what he was thinking. Matty rolled her eyes with a huff. “Not my cooking. We could have just ordered a pizza or something.” 

“We already had pizza at your house.”

“Chinese, then.”

“That’s not exactly a memorable first date.” 

“Eh, I’ve had plenty of horrible first dates. Pizza at my house sounds fine enough.” 

He made another face before relaxing into his chair. She watched him take his own time to survey the small wooden pergola over their heads before drifting to the other patrons in the otherwise nearly empty restaurant. “I didn’t exactly want our first date to be described as fine.” 

“Handsome and charming,” she mutters with a dry smile. “Who would have thought?”

Bradley preens a little underneath her compliment. Just like he had pretended not to see her blush earlier in the car, she pretends not to have noticed it as she takes a sip of her water. 

“Besides,” he tells her while turning his attention to the menu. She hadn’t even thought to look at it yet, and when she does, she’s relieved to find that it’s relatively small. The last thing Matty wanted to do on a first date was have a brain aneurysm while trying to pick out something to eat from the overwhelming list of items that most restaurants seemed to offer nowadays. “This place came highly recommended.” 

“Oh?” she asks while casually trying to remember what the correct way to pronounce gyro was. Was it gy-ro or gir-o? Matty hadn’t a fucking clue, and just as quickly decided to avoid that mishaps altogether by moving further down the list.

“Yeah, uh… actually, Mav was the one who recommended it.” 

“Nice,” she says without thinking before her brain catches up to what he just said. “Wait, I’m sorry—what?” 

Bradley shrinks a little bit in his seat. Almost like he’s worried that her reaction isn’t going to positively improve if he repeats himself. But he clears his throat and does just that as if he isn’t the slightest bit afraid of what she might say. “Yeah. He, uh, mentioned it yesterday when I was talking to him. You know that he’s back on the mission? He’s actually going on the mission. He did this insane fucking thing at class, flew the entire course alone with time to spare. It was fucking unbelievable—” 

Matty waved her hands at him quick enough that she almost knocked the entirety of her water into her lap. “Um, that’s not—don’t fucking change the subject,” she says. Then, once again, her brain catches up a moment too late and she is pretty sure that smoke is coming out of her ears by the time she pieces together the other thing that he just told her. “I mean, obviously we are going to talk about that because that’s—that’s great. Good for the old guy or whatever. But let’s back-up to the part where you’re asking Maverick for dating advice.” 

He makes a face. “I didn’t ask him for dating advice.” 

“Just where to take me on a date?” He hedges while tilting his head back and forth as if to say tomato, tomahto, and Matty collapses back in her chair with a very un-ladylike huff. “Dude, what the hell? The last thing we need is everyone all up in our business.”

“It’s not like we were just sitting around talking about it,” he defends. Though, his defense feels a little bit weak given that there weren’t a lot of other ways that such a topic could come up between him and his previous mentor. Last she knew, they were hardly able to carry a conversation at all, let alone share good date locations. “I just asked if he knew of any places to go for food. He inferred the rest. He’s actually a lot more intuitive than you might think; not a total moron, anyways.” 

“He’s absolutely a total moron,” she argues. Feels a little bit bad that she just called him that before remembering that there’s no way that he would ever know about it unless Bradley narked on her. “Okay, that was a little harsh, but you get what I mean. I thought you two weren’t that close anymore. Now he’s suddenly telling you about all the places he used to take chicks for dinner before banging them in the parking lot?”

Bradley makes a face as if he swallowed something unsavory. “Can we please not talk about Maverick’s sex life on our first date? Why is that—I can’t believe I just had to say that at all.” 

“It’s not like I want to be talking about it either. I mean, seriously I can’t believe this is the second time that I’m talking about Mav’s sex life in a week,” she cries. The look he shoots at her in response is nothing short of mortified and suddenly Matty is getting the weird feeling that she might not be as good on first dates as she liked to think. Sidestepping that realization all together, she makes a show of holding her palms up in surrender. “Okay, okay, okay, point made. He recommended this place and you brought me. Totally normal stuff. Let’s just move on.” 

“Thank you,” he huffs. 

“Did Mav mention what he likes to eat here?” she asks in a more normal, less strained tone of voice. 

“He wasn’t that helpful,” he tells her, to which she promptly frowns while trying to focus on the menu once more. “Have you ever had Greek food before?”

“Sorta. There’s this Greek guy from South Side beach that sells meat on a stick from a little cart. Not really sure what kind of meat it is, though, but it’s like—what—three dollars a stick and each stick has probably five or six chunks of meat on it so it’s definitely worth the potential food poisoning. Which I’ve never had an issue with but pretty sure he’s not being regulated seeing as how he always mysteriously disappears when the police cruise by,” she tells him candidly. When she’s met with silence she glances up to find that he’s pinching his nose between his fingers in exasperation. She quickly changes her tune. “Uh, I mean… no. Never. I value my life too much to ever do something like that. Why? What would you recommend?”

When he drops his hand, she’s relieved to find that he’s laughing. 

At her, which is totally annoying, but whatever. Better that than he’s suddenly reconsidering wanting to date her less than five minutes into the actual start of their date. 

Jesus, why was she so sweaty? 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah; as if you’ve never been hungry enough to eat street meat,” she rolls her eyes after a moment of spiraled thinking. Maybe it was a good thing that he hadn’t brought her out to some five start restaurant that had cloth napkins and more than one fork. The tables here didn’t even have tablecloths. “I like to think that my indulgence is helping support his family. You do know there’s a recession going on right now, right?” 

Bradley shakes his head at her with a smile. “It baffles me how you’re still alive.” 

“Flattery will get you nowhere.” 

“That was not a complement—” 

“Besides, you’re the one that insisted on going on the date,” she tells him pointedly. He doesn’t deny it; doesn’t even pretend to rethink his decision. Just laughs at her from across the table. “Now, seriously, you have to help me out here, Bradshaw. Tell me what to order so I don’t seem like a total blonde bimbo when the server comes by. I don’t understand half of these words.” 

He looks like he’s about to say something when movement over her shoulder catches his eye. 

“Too late for that,” he says just as the server in question appears. He has an accent just like his aunt, though not nearly as thick, and after he introduces himself Bradley can’t help but ask, “you don’t have a picture menu, do you? The lady doesn’t read all that well.” 

Matty smacks him with her menu before the kid can even respond. 

---

As evening turns to night around them the Eddison bulbs seem to twinkle a little bit brighter and, graciously, things seem to go even smoother than she would have expected given how nervous she had been at the start. There are no sudden fires, no more talk about sex lives of people they know, and the woman who owns the restaurant even brings them out some free baklava. 

“For the couple,” she had cooed with a motherly smile. “Pretty dessert for a pretty girl, yes?”

“The prettiest,” Bradley had said. 

The woman clapped her hands together in exclamation and made a comment about how she hoped her nephew grew up to be as well mannered as they were. Neither bothered to argue the fact with her—Matty could barely stand the idea of breaking the woman's heart—and so they had accepted the tiny dessert plate without complaint. She had even brought out a pair of dainty little forks for them to eat with. 

Cute was definitely one word to describe it. 

“So Frank and Ice actually knew each other pretty well, then?” Bradley asked her as things quieted down around them. They had spent the evening just like they had spent the night of the funeral on the beach volleying questions back and forth. Only, now, there was nothing to hide between the pair. Questions seemed to flow more freely than they had then. Answers even more so. “I can’t even imagine what they must have been like together.” 

“Not all that much different than him and Maverick together,” she said with a shrug. “Or than him and Boomer together. They would just drink and talk about stupid things that they’d done before. I think Ice had a soft spot for him because they were both from the South.”

“And your dad?”

“You kidding? Him and Frank are practically best buds. He's the son that Rick never got. It’s like I don’t even exist when they’re together.” 

He laughed while fiddling with the waiter’s pen. They had paid their check a while ago so that the waiter wouldn’t feel like he needed to check up on them, but neither seemed to be in that much of a rush to leave. A good thing considering the fact that Matty felt so bloated she thought she might puke if they walked to the car too fast. 

Apparently, she really liked Greek food. 

“What about you?” she asked. “Any best friends that I haven’t met yet?”

He snorted with a shake of the head. “Probably Nat if I had to be honest. I have friends all over but she’s the one that I’ve stayed in touch with the most over the years.” 

“Maybe you’ll get stationed together.” 

It didn’t seem all that likely, but it was a nice thought. Bradley managed to at least shrug as if it were possible. “Sure, maybe. She should be dragging Bob around with her now too. Still not sure how I feel about that.” 

“What—you don’t like him?”

“No, I do. I’m just not sure he is gonna be able to keep her out of trouble. The guy is a little…” 

“Nerdy?”

“Quiet.” 

Matty blew a raspberry at the vanilla description. Though, in her mind, she quite liked that Bob was quiet. He was a nice addition to the group; typically, pilots were just as loud mouthed and rambunctious as her own group was. To have someone there to balance it out was worth a lot more than she had originally thought. 

That thought aside, she wiggled her eyebrows at Bradley. “What about Hangman? You gonna miss him?”

He scoffed. “I definitely won’t miss him hogging all the hot water. The guy practically runs hot, you would think he would want to take a cold shower every now and again. Besides, his hair products alone take up most of the counter space. It’s ridiculous.” 

She slid her gaze to his own hair pointedly. When he caught her looking, Matty swiveled her head as if she had been watching a bug fly off. 

“I don’t use many hair products,” he huffed anyway. 

“I didn’t say you did.” 

“I don’t.” 

“I believe you.” 

She clearly didn’t and he clearly did. Then again, so what? Matty didn’t have a problem with men that took good care of themselves. If anything, it was refreshing to be around someone that showed a little bit of regard for their own health. It was a nice balance to her own…

Lackadaisical approach to life. 

“What about Mav?”

“What about him?” he asked. She curled a brow at him silently and he was able to make the connections himself. “I mean… yeah, I guess I’ll miss him a little bit. Even when he’s being a gigantic fucking prick it’s been… I don’t know, nice talking to him again,” he admitted. 

Not for the first time Matty felt like he was very clearly not telling her something about what happened between them; holding something back. For once though, maybe for the first time ever, she figured it really wasn’t her place to pester. If neither of the boys wanted to own up to what happened way back when she wasn’t going to pry. Especially when she was actually enjoying the night. 

“He seems to always land on his feet,” she observed, fiddling with a straw wrapper. “I’m sure no matter what happens after the mission that he’ll manage to stick around.” 

He hummed.

“Are you getting nervous about it at all?” she asked. Bradley’s mouth pressed into a firm line—odd, considering that this wasn’t the first time that they had a conversation similar to this—before he shrugged his shoulders as nonchalantly as he could manage. She didn’t quite buy it. “Not at all? You’re counting down the days, now.” 

Again, there was some sort of hesitation before he met her gaze. 

“I might not even go on it,” he said. “No real reason to get all worried about it now.”

That seemed like a weird response. Though he was right that he didn’t know who would get selected, she couldn’t imagine that the idea of being sent out in a half a week’s time to a carrier in the middle of the ocean didn’t make him at least a little bit antsy. Yet, Bradley was acting like it wasn’t something he was concerned about. 

“It’s normal to be a little stressed,” she hedged, knowing that it wasn’t exactly date-type talk but also feeling like it was something that needed to be said. “I would be; couldn’t imagine hurtling through space like you boys do. Even if it’s for an important mission.” 

“Yeah, well, it’s the job, you know,” he said, once more darting his gaze beyond her to the beach. It certainly felt like an avoidance tactic—avoiding what, however, she didn’t know. She didn’t get the chance to ask, either. Bradley stood with a smile. “Should we start heading back? I think they’re waiting to close up the restaurant but are too nice to say anything to us.” 

Matty frowned before peering over her shoulder. Their waiter’s head ducked around the doorframe.

“Oops.” 

He laughed as she stood, and together the pair made their way out towards the parking lot. 

“Thanks,” Matty shouted to anyone that would hear.

“Come back again!” the woman—who she was fairly sure was the owner—responded from the back kitchen. It was endearing to hear the genuinity in the woman’s voice. As Bradley held the door open for her, she nudged him with her elbow.

“Not a bad pick,” she said. “Maybe Mav does know a thing or two about romance.” 

“There’s no way in hell that I’m telling him that.” 

Matty giggled as she climbed into the passenger’s seat. “Fair enough. I’m not even sure he fits a helmet over his planet sized head.”

“I heard it’s specially made.” 

She laughed, and Bradley grinned at getting a reaction from her, and as he pulled out of the parking lot, she cast one last glance at the small, dilapidated building. Over the crest of the roof she could still make out the twinkling Eddison bulbs from the patio, and beyond that sat the nearly empty beach. Greens and blues flooded the skyline as they started down the winding coastal road, air slowly but surely brushing the hair off of her face. Bradley adjusted the radio until there was a low hum of pop music playing in the background, and despite her natural inclination to be a bitch, Matty couldn’t deny the small swell in her heart. 

“So?” he asked as they cruised. “A good first date?”

“Definitely better than Chinese food at my place,” she chirped. Bradley rolled his eyes at her snark before reaching over and pulling one of the hands out of her lap. She tried to ignore the way her skin seemed to thrum with electricity at the contact. For some reason unknown to her, however, the task was proving to be more and more difficult around him. Matty glanced away first. “Don’t let it go to your head, Bradshaw. I doubt you can afford the specially made helmets.” 

He didn’t mind her barb. 

And when he started singing along to the radio—well, shit. 

Matty did too. 

---

It was late when they finally got back to her place. Late enough that the neighborhood was quiet and dark save for the flash of his headlights, and as Bradley walked her to the front door there was a small part of Matty that was half afraid that her Dad would be waiting in the living room with a disappointed shake of the head. It had been years since she first started dating, however, and when she unlocked the door she was pleased to be met with the dark backdrop of an empty house. 

“Thanks again,” she said. “For the flowers. And, you know, for dinner.” 

A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Sure, I’m always happy to prevent kitchen fires.” 

Matty rolled her eyes with a huff. “I’m not that bad of a cook,” she said. Then added, “and it was tiny. I doubt the neighbors would have even noticed.”

“You should really take that fire safety course again.” 

She swatted at his chest with a laugh, and when Bradley caught her wrist and gave a light tug, Matty didn’t even pretend to mind when she bumped into his chest. Even with the poor lighting she could see the crinkles of amusement at the corner of his eyes, could just make out the long eyelashes that framed his gentle eyes. One of his hands shifted lower on her back, and Matty couldn’t help but crook an eyebrow at him. 

A silent challenge. 

“Well Bradshaw?” she taunted. “You gonna chicken out or—?”

He kissed her before she could say anything else, and if Matty had thought she had been kissed before, the electricity that crackled in the air between them seemed to prove her wrong. Heat pooled in every nook and cranny in her body, fingertips tingling, heart hammering as Bradley deepened the kiss as much as he could manage. She sighed into his lips, not quite having control of anything that was going on and not really caring all that much, and as she tilted her head back to change the angle she felt her back hit the brick wall. 

And then, just like that—he pulled back.

She wasn’t too proud to admit that a whine caught in the back of her throat. Yet, when Bradley pulled back to put a sliver of space between their mouths, the look in his eye kept her from complaining. She saw want—could feel it pulsing between them like animals—and longing, saw adoration in the way his mouth curled at the side, joy in the back of his gaze, could feel need in the press of his fingers against her back, yet for some reason in the midst of it all likes cracks in a window Matty could also see pain. 

She recognized it from the night he had come to her house and called her Neven, from the way that his gaze would turn far away when he mentioned Maverick and his dad. 

“Hey,” she muttered, shifting. “What’s wrong?”

He didn’t answer her right away. Just let a hand drift up to her jawline where it brushed some loose hair back behind her ear. She felt her brows furrow as she watched him watch her. 

“I like you a lot,” he mumbled. “You know that, right?”

“So you keep saying.” 

“Go on a second date with me.” 

“A little soon after the first, don’t you think, Bradshaw? Usually you let the girl go inside before you start planning the next date. I don’t think this one has technically even ended, yet,” she joked. 

His mouth crooked at the side as he exhaled a breath. “After the mission, yeah?” 

Part of Matty was happy to hear that he was so eager to ask her on a second date. She had been enjoying Bradley’s company, had been having the best date in years—maybe even ever—as they sat on the little outdoor patio under the twinkling lights. Despite their tumultuous introduction, things felt easy with him when they should have been difficult. And even though there had been so many volatile emotions shared in the last few weeks, once they got through the worst of it, she really had begun to feel like they had survived the storm. 

It wasn’t just politics anymore. Not just her trying to be a bitch and him trying to woo her. 

Lately, it had been Matty being open to someone that seemed desperate to know everything about her. It hadn’t felt like a game as it often did with other men who saw her as a passing phase or who just wanted to bed her to say that they had. With Bradley she felt seen. 

But, as she stood in his grasp, underneath his heavy gaze, she was starting to feel like there was something she wasn’t seeing. As if, suddenly, someone had snatched a puzzle piece right out from underneath her nose. 

“Yeah, okay,” she muttered eventually. Both cautious and curious as to where this sudden swirl of emotions had come from. Perhaps, he was just more stressed about the mission than he was letting on. “After the mission. I’m not sure how long you’ll be gone.” 

“Me neither.” 

“Maybe we can go out again before you leave,” she suggested. The pain lanced his features once more, quick like lightning, before it was gone. “We still have a few good days.” 

Bradley swallowed. “Yeah,” he breathed. “Maybe.” 

The air seemed to be thick with electricity as Bradley glanced over her once more, almost as if he were memorizing the details of her face, but before she could say anything else about the matter he was sweeping forward to kiss her again. It stole her breath and scrambled her thoughts. 

When he smiled at her, Bradley seemed to know that.

The bastard. 

“See you around, Neven.” 

Bradley pulled away from her—leaving her skin cold and clammy—and it wasn’t until he was striding towards his Jeep did she realize that she was gawking after him like a horny schoolgirl. She cleared her throat, ran a hand through her hair then over her face, and then—with another, firmer shake of the head—finally stepped inside. The house was eerily quiet as his headlights flooded the road outside. 

Matty waved at him once more through the door before latching it shut behind her. 

And when he finally drove off she turned to find her reflection, blushed and red and bewildered, staring right back at her. On the one hand, she was happy that she hadn’t invited him inside on the first date. She liked Bradley (a lot as she was starting to realize). The last thing she needed to do was partake in self destructive behavior right off the bat. On the other hand, she really really really fucking liked Bradley. Spending the night together wouldn’t have been something she regretted.

Especially if he managed to steal her breath with a single kiss. 

She wondered…

“Jesus,” Matty shook her head while kicking off her shoes. Flustered, confused, and happy with how the date had gone, she flopped into bed. Her questions could wait until the morning when she was able to form a more coherent thought. 

---

“You’re in a good mood,” Nick noted with an impressed—and slightly suspicious—glance. Matty glanced up from the brewing coffee pot that she had been staring at with a stupid smile on her face.

Blerg. That was embarrassing, even for her.

“You know how much I love coffee,” she chirped evasively. “Thinking about starting coffee IVs. Straight to the bloodstream. Supposed to be a way better high and all that, you know?”

“Pretty sure caffeine injected into the bloodstream is lethal.” 

“And what a fine way to go out that would be,” she said with a wiggle of her eyebrows. 

But Nick wasn’t all that stupid. She could tell by the way that his eyes were narrowed at the corners, and from how he raised his brows but specifically kept his mouth firmly shut. 

Whatever. She could respect someone with self preservation. 

“What’s wrong with your face?” Boomer asked moments later; self-preservation at an all time low. Matty straightened her smile into a frown. It was amazing how the Aussie managed to suck all the air out of her lungs without even trying. Boomer snagged the coffee pot out from under her nose the second it chirped. “You have sex last night or somethin’?”

“Gross,” Nick muttered.

“Hey, um, no, my sex life isn’t gross, thank you very much. You’d be lucky to hear even a tid-bit about it, what with me being the sexual smoke-show that I am,” she joked. Then, when she realized that talking about her sex life with the kid and the pervert from Australia before eight in the morning, she quickly backtracked. “And, more importantly, it’s private. Ergo—it’s none of your business. Give me the damn coffee pot.” 

Boomer handed it over with a toothy grin. “Your sex life is the only thing worth talkin’ bout with you.” 

“Gross-er,” Nick quipped under his breath with a shudder. Mattty didn’t bother to argue that; it was a grosser thing to say. Though, certainly not out of the bounds of normal when it came to Boomer. And while that would normally end up with a complaint to HR, she had never been bothered by his lewd attempts at humor. 

Really, Matty enjoyed joking around with the others in the motorpool. Made her feel like one of the boys. 

“I could report you to HR for that you know,” she said anyway, if only because every once in a while she had to remind the status quo that she wasn't, in fact, a boy.

Of course, it wasn’t her first time making such threats, and so Boomer just sank onto the counter with an unbothered shrug. His thighs knocked some coffee stirs onto the ground, and Matty quickly snatched her mug up to protect its contents from any accidental spills. “I take it the flyboy finally put in the work, eh? Must ‘ave been a beaut’ of a farewell if you’re still ‘ere smilin’ even after he’s gone.”

She arched her brow. “What do you mean?”

Boomer shrugged. “How long have they gone for? A week minimum?” 

Matty still didn’t understand what he was talking about. Not necessarily a new thing given that Boomer talked out of his ass more often than not, but she hated feeling out of the loop. She glanced over at Nick curiously. “What the hell is he on about?”

Nick hedged with a glance towards Boomer. “Uh… you don’t know?”

Now, she was getting annoyed. “Know what?” 

The boys shared another, deeper look that had her crossing one arm over the other with a long dredge of her coffee. Despite her good mood that morning it was way too early to be dealing with their shit, and when no one answered her she flapped her hand between them. 

“Jesus, fine, I’ll buy a vowel or a consonant or whatever it takes. Now, tell me! What?”

Boomer cleared his throat, shifting on the counter. It wasn’t often that he was hesitant, and seeing him stumble over his words had an uncomfortable weight dropping in her stomach. “Er, the mission, you know… they got called out early. Left before dawn. I thought you would have—thought he would have told you.” 

Matty froze with her cup of coffee inches from her face. 

Her first instinct was to call bullshit. Boomer was just being an asshole—like always—and he was pulling her leg because he had never learned when to leave sleeping bears alone. Nick, however, wasn’t someone that got in on jokes. He wouldn’t tease her like this, nor would he stay in the same room as her if he thought there was a chance she would smack Boomer senseless for his poor taste in humor. 

And... well, then she started to think over Bradley’s odd behavior from the night before, his evasive answers to her probing questions, and the way that he had kissed her as if they wouldn’t get the chance again it almost made sense. She thought about how he had taken her out on an impromptu date on a Tuesday night, but hadn’t wanted to commit to a second date before he left for the mission. She thought about how he didn’t want to discuss the chance he would be selected to fly the route, how his smile was more of a wince when she promised that he was a shoe in. How—

"What's wrong?"

"I just like you a lot."

The realization left her feeling gutted. 

Bradley had come to her for their date knowing that he was going to be leaving, knowing that his chances of being selected were high, and he hadn’t said shit. 

On the one hand, Matty could understand why. It was the classic Irish goodbye—something she was so guilty of that her dad started to hide her car keys whenever they had a family get together so she couldn’t slip away without anyone realizing—and while the name itself was perhaps a little controversial, she doubted it would ever go out of style. Saying goodbye to the people that you loved was hard; seeing the worry rimming their eyes, the unshed tears, and unspoken words could make you rethink everything you thought you knew in life. If she was about to ship out for a dangerous mission, Matty couldn’t promise that she wouldn’t do the same. 

But… 

Even with that understanding, it hurt. 

“Son of a fucking bitch!” Matty burst out. Nick immediately edged further into the corner of the room, while Boomer winced into his coffee cup. Given that he was the closest thing to her, he probably should have been smarter and done the same. She glared so fiercely it was a miracle that her face didn’t get stuck like that. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Oi! With me?” he cried incredulously. 

“Why are you always up in my shit, Booms?” she snapped. It wasn’t a fair thing to say and he wasn’t a fair person to yell at, but Matty didn’t particularly care. “I mean, seriously! Fuck, what are you—the low budget bad news bears or something? Why would you—Jesus—learn to read the room for once in your life!” 

Boomer let out a disbelieving chuckle that sounded like nails on a chalkboard to Matty. “I was just askin’ a question! Don’t crack the shits at me! I’m innocent!” 

Matty didn’t have a response to that. Boomer was innocent. 

But…

Her good mood had evaporated all in matter of seconds because of him and his big fucking mouth, and now that she was angry, he was the easiest target in the room. Logic didn’t have much of a chance at the moment. Accepting that, Matty didn’t hesitate to snatch the cup of coffee out of his hand, march over towards the sink, and dump it down the drain all while holding Boomer's gaze.

Incredulous didn’t even describe the look on his face. “Oi! That’s fresh coffee!” 

“And now you can make your own goddamn coffee,” she hissed. It almost hurt her soul to be wasting perfectly good coffee this early in the morning, but—well—whatever. She was fucking pissed and wasting an innocent cup of coffee was better than putting Boomer’s head down the drain. That option would require way more paperwork to fill out than she was in the mood for. Keeping that thought in mind, she didn’t waste any time before she was marching back over to Boomer and shoving the now empty cup into his hands. She thought she smiled, but really she wasn’t even sure. “Next time, ask Nick about his sex life and leave me the hell out of it.” 

The blonde swiveled fast enough to send some of her coffee splashing onto the ground, but given that blood had already been shed in this battle of wills, Matty decidedly didn’t care. Frank kept a stash of cigarettes in the bottom of his locker that would taste a whole lot better than some burnt coffee ever would. 

George was stepping in just as she was stepping out. He had an odd look on his face, as if he was trying to discern what the hell all the yelling was about, but he quickly threw on a smile when he caught her glare. 

“Morning, Mats,” he greeted with an innocent wave of the hand. “I just got the updated docket—” 

Matty snatched the clipboard out of his hand with a firm, “fuck off.” 

There was a moment of disbelief as she stomped towards her workbench, then a loud clatter when she slammed both the clipboard and coffee mug down onto the metal surface. Claire sent a curious look in her direction that she vehemently ignored. There were so many emotions hanging like a dense cloud over her shoulders that Matty struggled to calm down her thoughts even long enough to read through the day’s docket. It felt like she had dyslexia; letters and words were bunching together the longer she stared at the crinkled yellow paper. 

“What did I say?” she heard George hiss from the other side of the garage. 

There was a grunt and a bang as Boomer stepped outside to the loading dock with the slam of the door. The cloud seemed to grow heavier over her head, and before she could think anymore about it, Matty turned the boombox on with a smack of a button. The music didn’t help her think clearer, but it certainly helped drown out her thoughts. 

She figured that was good enough. 

---

Matty’s bad behavior continued for three days. Three days of being a total fucking bitch to anyone that had the misfortune of being in the same room as her. Three days of getting no sleep, not eating, not drinking anything but coffee, and of smoking through more cigarettes than she could properly afford. Frank’s entire locker stash had been brutalized, Claire had hidden hers somewhere else on base, and the fellas at the commissary had started hiding their supply when they saw Matty strut in. 

On the one hand, she knew that she couldn’t keep this up. Her friends were walking on eggshells around her, life in the motorpool was unbearable, and she felt both frustrated with herself and like she was having an out of body experience that was the worst trip of her life. 

On the other hand, no one else seemed to emphasize with her. Being a total fucking bitch day-in and day-out was no easy feat. Actually, it left her exhausted. 

Which, of course, only furthered the vicious cycle. The more tired she was meant she would drink more coffee and smoke more cigarettes to be able to function, which only put her further on edge, which only made her more of a bitch, which—

Ended with her getting three fingers squashed because she wasn't paying attention.

“Jesus fucking christ!” she screeched over the sound of music. All heads turned in their direction as Matty clutched her hand to her chest. Hoping back and forth on her boots made it feel a little better, but the fact that Nick had just dropped twenty pounds of steel onto her fingers made everything feel a whole lot worse. “What the fuck! Ow!”

“Shit, Matty, I’m so sorry!” the kid babbled. He was a bit white in the face—a little bit because he was worried he had just severed her fingers, a whole lot because he was worried she was going to strangle him—and when Matty kicked a nearby oil can, the white turned into full blown panic. “I’m sorry! Don’t hurt yourself further. I’ll get a medic!” 

“Don’t you dare call anyone,” she snapped. “Fuck! I need these, you know! For—for lots of stuff! Ow!” 

“I know.” 

“Like surfing!” 

“I know!” 

“And work! How can I work without my fingers Nick? They’re kind of important!” 

“Shit, Matty, I know! I’m sorry—” he said. His worry had turned into full blown panic, however, and in his rush to help her, Nick accidentally stooped too close too quickly, and the sound that their foreheads made when cracking together was close to that of an egg hitting the floor. “Shit!” 

“Fucking ow!” 

“Jesus, Mats, are you okay? Here, let me—” 

“Don’t fucking touch me!” she shouted. Then, when the shouting seemed to take her mind off the pain, she paced a circle in the open motorpool while continuing to shout. Curse words flew out of her mouth like poems, and even she was a little impressed with how many colorful combinations she was coming up with. Really, some of the expletives should have been written down. Eminem could probably take lessons from her. “I mean, seriously, son of a horse fucking bag whore—!” 

“Matty, goddamn it, that’s it!” Frank shouted from the other side of the motorpool. She paused in her cursing to watch as he marched over towards her. Claire grabbed Nick by the elbow and bodily pulled him off to the side. Matty furrowed her brows at them, not understanding what all the fuss was about until Frank grabbed her by the shoulders and started shoving her towards the parking lot. Instinctively, she dug her heels in. In response, the pushing quickly turned into dragging. “Get your ass in the fuckin’ car.” 

“What—it’s the middle of the day. Frank!” 

“I don’t give a fuck what time it is, we’re goin’ for a ride.” 

Matty dug her heels in harder, and Frank seemed to pick up on the fact that she wouldn’t go willingly. The world tipped upside down when he tossed her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. The bun her hair had been in split open, and blonde strands went everywhere. She blew out a raspberry to try and clear a view, but when she caught the looks on her friend’s faces, she almost wished she hadn’t. There was no amusement to be seen amongst any of them. No crowing or laughter at her unfortunate predicament; just solemn faces as she was carried across the cracked pavement against her will. 

Shit. 

He was going to kill her and they were all just going to let it happen. She always knew that one day she would push the others too far, but never did she think it would be on a Friday.

“Frank! I’m sorry! Put me down, I didn’t mean it!” 

“Shut up.” 

“Nick!” she cried as she swung like a pendulum over his shoulder. The kid’s face was getting smaller in the distance. “I’m sorry! Don’t let him kill me! I never got around to taking a good headshot and the news is going to have to use some old ugly photo from high school!” 

“Matty, will you shut up?”

“No! You’re going to kill me! Help!” she yelped. Her shrieking drew a few curious eyes from some of the boys in the parking lot. When they saw who was doing the screaming and who was carrying her, however, they all turned back to their business with some fake whistling. “Oh, are you—seriously?” 

Frank took a sharp turn, and Matty’s head went smacking into the back of someone’s toyota. 

“Ow! Christ! Watch the goods, Frank!” 

“Shut the fuck up,” he snapped. And, well, finally, Matty did. She snapped her jaw together with an audible click as she switched to breathing from her nose. The pair had fought plenty of times before, but Matty had never heard him sound so angry. Maybe that’s why she let him toss her across the front bench without any more of a fight. He climbed in next, nostrils flaring and chest heaving. Yet, he didn’t start the truck without telling her to, “buckle your damn seatbelt.” 

“Jesus, fine,” she muttered. There was a click then there was the turn of the engine before they squealed out of the parking lot. 

She wasn’t sure where he was taking her. It was the middle of the day, they were still in their coveralls, hands grease stained and aching, and when she realized that her safety glasses now sat skewed on her nose she tossed them onto the front console. Frank didn’t seem to care. He just directed them off the base and down a long winding road that was as unfamiliar as it was passing by in a blur. She peeked over to his gauge to find that Frank was doing well over the speed limit. 

Frank punched on the radio as if he knew exactly what she was about to complain about. She rolled her eyes, tucking her arms around herself, and stewed on her side of the front seat. If he didn’t want to talk then neither did she. 

The silent treatment lasted twenty-five minutes. Twenty-five minutes of Matty biting her tongue, as she let a week’s worth of pent-up emotions overwhelm her like a cloud, and as she tried time and time again not to let him see how much he was bothering her. But that self-restraint all but evaporated when they came to a tedious stop at a red light. 

“Frank,” she bit out, finally losing her patience. “Where are we going? I don’t have time for this.” 

“I don’t give a fuck what you have time for and you ain’t got time for,” he replied. His accent was heavier, a sign that he was well and surely pissed, and Matty scowled at him knowing that whatever they were out there doing wasn’t going to be fun. He either didn’t notice or didn’t care. 

The light turned green and they were off again. 

The voice in the back of her head piped back up. Frank was definitely going to kill her. Drown her, most likely. But that would leave her corpse all blue and bloated and really gross to look at. If he cared about her at all, Frank would grant her the mercy of a cartel style execution. A single small bullet to the brain. The mortician could just put some makeup on her, do up her hair, and no one would be the wiser. Of course, that would mean he would have to blow her brains out, but—hey, Matty’s brains had never been her best asset, anyway, so who was she to mourn them? 

Frank took a turn towards the ocean, and Matty swore she got the nervous sweats. 

“Where are we going?” 

“You’ll see.” 

“That’s not worryingly vague,” she muttered sourly. Frank took another turn, and suddenly they were driving along the coast. So, probably not drowning. “If you’re going to kill me, can I at least have a final meal?”

“Honestly, have you ever shut up once in your goddamn life?”

“Have I—ugh! You kidnapped me along, dingus! I didn’t ask to be stuck in a car with your ass.” 

If looks could kill, she would most certainly have dropped dead of a heart attack. Thankfully, Frank seemed to have better control over his primal instincts than most serial killers did, and rather than physically choke the life out of her, he pulled a pack of cigs out of his front console and choked the life of that instead. Matty’s stomach grumbled at the smell of the smoke—an odd and entirely unhealthy response that she would not be concerning herself with now. 

She reached forward to snag one from herself only to have Frank slap her hand away. 

“Ow! Seriously?”

“You’re not smokin’ my cigs,” he told her. An incredulous look whitened her face, and, this time, he did notice. Frank waved his hand towards the back seat where there was a bunch of bananas and a half-eaten box of granola bars. “If you want food, eat. You haven’t touched anything other than cigarettes and coffee all week.”

“What are you—my dietician?”

“You’re a bitch when you’re hungry.” 

“Exactly!” she threw her hands up in disbelief, going back for another cigarette, only to have him smack her hand away again. “Jesus christ! It’s just one cigarette! It’s not like I’m going to bankrupt you.” 

“Eat the damn bananas, Matty.” 

“No.” She went for the pack again, only to be smacked once more. “Ow! Stop that.” 

“You can either eat the bananas, or you can starve.” 

“No.” 

“No?”

She stuck her nose up at him, reaffirming her bitchiness with a sharp, “no.” 

Frank glared at her from the corner of his eye before he started wheeling down his window. Matty had half a moment to question what he was doing before he picked up his pack of cigarettes and promptly tossed it out the window. Her mouth dropped open in disbelief, and in response, he only took one last long drawl of his still burning cig before that too went flying on the road. 

“What the shit?” she shrieked, twisting in her seat to try to see where the pack had ended up. He was driving too fast on a windy road, however, and the nicotine was long gone before she could even plead for him to pull over. “Those were yours! Why would you do that?”

“Because you’re being a bitch, I ain’t gonna give you anything else to make you bitchier.” 

“Then—then put them in the back! Throwing them out the window is crazy!”

He eyed her sharply. “Crazy is what you are. You would have just climbed over the seat for them because you would rather starve yourself on nicotine than eat a single fuckin’ banana,” he explained. His tone was that of a judgemental church-goer, and she had half a mind to smack him across the face. Frank pointed a sharp finger at her before she could, knowing. “You hit me and I’ll leave you on the side of the fuckin’ road. Got that?”

“I—ugh!” she cried, and, not knowing what else to do, stuck her tongue out at him as immaturely as she could. “What the fuck is your problem?”

“My problem is that you’re being a fuckin’ ragin’ bitch to anyone that’s in the same room with you.” 

Matty screwed her brows up at him. “So you thought you would lock yourself in a moving car with me?”

“Will you just shut the fuck up?”

“No!” 

The look he gave her was so scathing that she thought he might pull over right then and there and dump her on the side of the road. So scathing in fact that Matty instinctively snapped her mouth shut for the second time that day. Her and Frank had survived plenty of arguments before in their life, but never before had he ever put his foot down as much as he was now. Sure, he had dragged her out of the bar when she was drunkenly spouting off about one thing or another, and there was a time when he hadn’t spoken to her for a week because he was pissed that she threw up on his couch after promising not to drink too much, but this? Dragging her out into the middle of nowhere just because she was being a bit grouchy to the others at work? Throwing his cigarettes out onto the road just so she wouldn’t manage to sneak one? 

No, this wasn’t like the Frank that she knew.

This was something worse.

“Where are we going?” she asked after coming to that realization. 

“To someone that’s going to help you get over whatever the fuck your problem is right now because I ain’t dealin�� with this shit any longer.” 

“W—what does that even mean?”

He didn’t answer her. Instead, he just turned the knob up on the radio, and once again Matty was forced to have no company other than the raging thoughts in her head. 

---

The two hour drive ended up at an all too familiar driveway. The neighborhood itself was deceptively identical; all white houses with large front porches encased behind a dozen azalea bushes. They all sported the same HOA, cut grass, and white mailboxes. But, there was no mistaking the red front door or the old chevy truck sitting next to the garage. 

“My dad?” she cried incredulously. “Seriously?”

Frank reached over where she was sitting to shove open the passenger side door. He had calmed down somewhere in the last thirty minutes of the drive, but the hard glare in his eyes was still present. Matty wouldn’t be talking her way out of this one. She doubted that her old bike was still chained up out back either; escape was impossible. 

“Get the fuck out,” he pointed. 

“Dick,” she spat. His door creaked from how hard to slammed it, and—boy—if Frank hadn’t thought about killing her already today he would certainly be spending the next hour plotting it out. Whatever. She could add him to the list of men that wanted to put her six feet under; for her age, it was getting surprisingly long. There was a flicker of movement through the kitchen window that had the anger leaching from her bones; dread quickly replaced it. “Mom is going to kill us for showing up in grease stained coveralls, you know. She’s still mad about Thanksgiving.” 

The only response was the turn of the engine as his truck was thrown into reverse. Matty spun on her heels to watch as Frank backed out onto the street. He paused long enough to pull a brand new pack of cigarettes out of his pocket before he was throwing the truck into gear. 

“You son of a bitch!” she shouted. 

Of course, he was in a truck and she was on foot, and so the son of a bitch was long gone by the time she made it to the street. On top of that all her yelling had managed to do was draw the attention of the neighbors. Miss Landry squinted at Matty beneath the brim of a large gardening hat, and even across the road Matty could make out the tsk-ing sound the woman made at the spectacle. 

“Son of a bitch,” she muttered quieter this time while giving Miss Landry a half-hearted smile. It mustn’t have been convincing when paired with her dirty coveralls and grease stained face. Whatever. Matty already had one mother that would scold her for her dirty language and disheveled appearance. She didn’t need to entertain a second one that wasn’t even going to include her in a will. 

The march back up the driveway was more humiliating than being carried over Frank’s shoulder. 

“Well,” her dad drawled from the front porch. He had a mug of coffee in hand, and seemed much too amused by her behavior. “That’s one way to greet the neighbors.” 

Matty stomped past him with a glare. “Oh, stuff it, old man.” 

“At least take the shoes off first,” he chided behind her. She could hear the laughter clear as day, and she considered leaving the shoes on just to get him in trouble with their mother. Then again, she had no phone, no wallet, and no car. She was going to be stuck in this house until Frank felt like showing up again, which meant she would also be getting in trouble with her mother. As she paused in the mud room to take off her dirty boots, her father brushed past with a whistle. “You still have some clothes in your bedroom, kiddo. Get changed and I’ll make us some lunch.” 

Her stomach growled before she could protest. 

“Fucking Frank.”  

*** taglist (thanks for asking!) @callsignbarb @coyotesamachado @shanimallina87 @luckyladycreator2 @olivethenerd16 @the-winter-marvel33 @hiddeless @momc95 @alanadetigy @obsessedasusual I totally lied about how long this was going to come, so sorry! I also totally lied about this being the last chapter! Extra sorry about that. This ended up being 19k+ so for formatting I split it up into two chapters. The good news is the final is finished, and will be up soon! Thanks for sticking around!

[pencilpat]

what are you’re headcanons for Virgil? 💜

Of course anon!

Virgil loves DIY! He made his own hoodie, he is a typical alt kid mending and patching things from the thrift store. I think that, while emo is his favourite fashion and music type, he also really loves goth music and style.

The dark side fallout happened right before Accepting Anxiety rather than after. Janus had plans about showing Thomas all the repressed aspects of himself even back then, and Virgil was the easiest to grapple with, so he was sent out on the front lines. He wasn't supposed to bond with everyone. He wasn't supposed to become friends, family, with someone else, with the others. And after tension built and built and Janus's abandonment fears consumed him, it just collapsed into a fight. Virgil decided that, really, no one wants him at all, and all he does is hurt and inconvenience every other side. So he ducked out. You know the story from there.

Virgil and Roman are only recently getting along better but they're trying. Virgil's love language is sharing his interests, and he tries to find crossovers between things they enjoy. Roman struggles with that because in his view there isn't much overlap at all. Most of their hangouts involve rewatching Nightmare Before Christmas over and over. But also! Makeup!! They do each other's makeup for fun alllll of the time. Also making clothing for each other!

THIS SIDE IS AROACEAPL!! Virgil is so aroaceapl coded to me, or at least demiromantic/demisexual and friendship neutral aplatonic. He never seems to enjoy the words 'I love you' or any implication of love being given to him. He doesn't seem to enjoy relationships in general, though he has let exceptions happen. Virgil seems very romance repulsed for himself but the second it's for Thomas's romantic life he is out to battle as Bravery for the sake of that anxious man's heart.

Speaking of, Logan is also VERY aroaceapl coded and in my mind they are in a queer romantic relationship, they love each other in a way that doesn't make sense as any currently known type of 'love'. They need each other and they make each other feel nice - Logan is someone that Virgil genuinely likes to be around, which is rare for him. They get each other's struggles and I think they could talk each other down from anything. And neither of them could ask for anything better than someone who understands.

Patton is also someone Virgil has felt love for. At first both of them mainly thought it was a familial bond, but given both of theirs' issues with comprehending romantic feelings, it was soon found to be more. Attraction gets very complicated when you're aro, ace, and aplatonic. It can be so confusing when you do like someone, and you'll often try to categorize them as something different like family or community. Virgil being demiromantic and Patton being aro confused and muddled things. But they really just care about each other either way, and they just let themselves... be. To just care for each other in whatever way they can in the moment and leave their feelings undisclosed.

Vee-man's favourite bands are MCR, All-Time Low, and A Day To Remember, but he's not as pure of an emo as you'd expect. That modern day tiktok emo music? He is a sucker for that stuff. And I want to kick his ass for it.

When they were a kid, Virgil was only known as Fear and he was a little shadow person. Like a tiny boogeyman! Really, the personification of what a kid finds scary rather than his current being made of all those adult worries. He age regresses for stress reasons and reverts to that form when doing so.

That's what I can think of right now, like with the Roman post I'll edit if I think of any more later.

[shalpilot]

How do you think (according to transmasc Killer hc), Killer had crush on Victoria because he wanted to look more masculine or he's just bi/pan?

Also, Kid had crush on Vic to support his friend or he actually liked her?

!NSFW!

What are kidkiller's favourite poses? (Both original and genderbend)

Thanks for your answers ❤️

Good q!

I think he did have an actual crush but was also somewhat jealous of a girl who was rough and rowdy and a little terror but also still felt like a girl. I also don’t think he had any way to verbalize or comprehend this which was probably frustrating as all hell. I also think crushes you get as a little kid are mostly admiration which I’m sure he felt plenty of!

I also think Kid was smitten as well. Maybe a little influenced by Killer and wanted to be like UM, YEAH, I ALSO HAVE A CRUSH. I think if either of them would fake/not realize they’re faking a crush it’d be Kid esp when he was younger, but like I said childhood crushes are inherently a little silly and not the same as being older and getting a little infatuated w someone.

As for the second part, their favorite positions are whatever’s easiest for me to draw.

[booksandwillowtrees]

In honor of FHJY starting and being super good here are my opinions of which season I think is better for each character

FIG: Easiest choice. FHSY. I love fig in FY she’s silly, trying to find Gorthalax and to comprehend her relationship with her mom and Gilear. Great stuff. But FHSY is like Her season to me. It builds so well off of FY. Both Gilear and Sandralynn come on the journey so we get to see her relationship with them grow and shift and change. Also she gets a STELLAR romantic arc.

KRISTEN: FHFY. I love kristen SY. She’s so chaotic and more herself. Her relationship with Tracker is so . But FY kristen is in such an interesting moment of change in her life. She makes a super exciting complete 180. Also I watched FY right before realizing I liked girls so she is v important to me.

ADAINE: FHSY. Aelwyn and Adaine sister arc kills me dead. Like there’s not much more to say. She’s always so good, quick witted, angry, ouch and fun But in SY she’s like woah. And she kills her dad.

FABIAN: FHFY. HARDEST CHOICE. Obv leviathan is insane and iconic for Fabian. Masterclass from Lou Wilson about committing to the bit and the character. Toxic Masculinity is dead. wonderful. But Fabian FY is so insane. The jail scene? Bill’s death???? Wild. Beloved. Heart wrenching. I don’t like how they do his nightmare in the forest, so that’s points against SY.

RIZ: FHSY. Riz FY Is sillllllly. Finding out about his dad is great. Killing kalvazus is great. But oh my god. SY. Dealing with Kalina, coming to accept his asexuality, ANY SCENE ABOUT HIS FATHER. Woof. Like crazy. I cried so much about this kid.

GORGUG: FHSY. Also v hard. “Are you my dad?” Is iconic. My fav bit from FY. Great emotional pay off. But gorgug in SY is such a good friend. Going to the friendship section of the library. Supporting Fabian. Calling Arthur Aguefort for Ayda. “It’s gorgug keep going.” Not to mention his painful relationship with Zelda. and the beginning of his artificer arc.

[supreme-burrito]

I’m probably gonna get flamed for this response but this is just my opinion.

I actually took a look at Indiana’a list of laws involving minor and transitioning. The one that stood out the most to me were the ones involving not having sexuality courses for very young children, not being able to do HRT or have gender reassignment surgery until you’re 21. I see the logical side of these going into effect now as an adult.

Like I get for the young child courses if it’s passively explained in the most easiest way for a child to comprehend (good example: Buddy Daddies and Miri does not give two shits that she has two papas she loves them both despite previously living with her mom and she’s 4), but if they are teaching full-fledged courses about all of the flags, intricate meanings and such, then I ask why. Even I don’t know the whole entire LGBTQA+ spectrum and some of it confuses me.

If you’re underage and 100% positive you’re not your biological sex I support you, but also, teenagers do stupid shit and gender reassignment surgery is a big decision for a person. It’s almost akin to getting a child into your life.

Except that you can always give up the baby. Disclaimer: I am not knowledgeable in how transition surgery works, but it’s nearly permanent. When I was a kid, everyone had an emo phase, but transitioning isn’t a phase, it’s a commitment for everyone that I know of who is not their own gender.

In short: most human brains don’t finish development entire around the age of 25 on average. And I will say now in my thirties, I did some pretty stupid shit that I regret looking back.

And I can see why the Indiana healthcare bills preventing minors from this access of healthcare is both good and bad. Bad for the truly committed, but good for the people who jump off the fence and want to go back.

As for the birth certificate ones….seriously why? What the fuck?

And finally for the one involving bathrooms….

On record my gender is non-binary, AFAB. If I have to wait in any women’s bathroom line that is a mile long filled with screaming children, I have to piss, and there is no one in the adjacent men’s room, you bet your ass I’m using it.

I've seen a few posts of people from varying us states saying "why is no one talking about x new anti LGBT bill/law in my state?" and I need you guys to know that unfortunately part of the reason you're not hearing much about your specific state is that it's not just your state. there are currently 321 anti LGBT+ bills in the us

you'll notice that several of these states have more than 10. Missouri and Oklahoma have 31 and 34 respectively. and some of these have already passed or are well on their way. living here has become exponentially more terrifying. and even people in states with 0 bills should be worried because they are absolutely not going to stop at state level legislation, the next step is federal law. it's really time for everyone in the us to be vigilant right now. connect with people in your community and start or get involved in movements for change, starting on a very small local level. I know it gets really discouraging looking at maps like this. you're probably not going to be able to help everyone in every state, but you might be able to make a big difference with your local community

[nothingtobefixed]

So, won't you stay, won't you stay, won't you stay with me?

"I don't think I will ever get over the fact that you were here one minute, and then gone the next." Grief. They say it can affect the whole body. I'd say they are right. Over the last week, I have been in physical pain from grief. I've been in this constant state of confusion. I've been depressed. I've had this overwhelming feeling of obsessing over the past. Maybe to shed some light of where it all went wrong? I don't know. Everyone tells you that once you bury your friend, things will return to normal. That isn't true. I left her grave service even more confused than when I got there. It was very evident Kristen was so damn loved. She was surrounded by people mourning her loss. People that, surely just like me, were so confused as to why she left this Earth. Now, I know not everyone knows what really happened like the very people closest to her know. But she was 34. She was full of life. She had two beautiful children. She had friends and family that adored her. But Kristen also... didn't have the easiest life growing up. I witnessed it and lived it right along beside her. I guess somewhere in my brain I am struggling with how she didn't make it yet I did. I know darkness all too well. I know what it feels like to feel alone despite you are anything but. We confided in each other about those horrific feelings. I'm absolutely heart broken that she felt as if she did not deserve to stay. Or really, that she couldn't. Kristen, I don't really know how to live a life that doesn't have you in it. My mind is trying really hard to grasp that. I haven't yet. It may take me some time to fully comprehend that. I will work hard - I do know that - at keeping your memories alive. You protected me so much when we were younger. The world deserves to know the beauty that is you. God, I am going to miss you like crazy. Who am I kidding? I already do. You've been flooding my dreams non stop. Rest easy, babe. Forever loved. Always missed. Never forgotten.

[tomreview]

Resurgence 2.0 Virtually unknown

Revealed: Secret Resurgence 2.0 Strategy That "Re-Creates" Our Pay For quite a while As a matter of course for a very long time

It's Making Us $1000 Day to day Latently,

This is The way You Can Reproduce

Our Progress In Only 30 Minutes*

Mechanized Framework - NO TECH Abilities - NO Difficult WORK

The quickest results you've at any point seen...

For all intents and purposes obscure, spic and span strategy with full preparation...

Working faultlessly in 2023 and then some...

No Tech Abilities Required

Straightforward Mechanized Plug In Cycle

Works for the two amateurs and experienced advertisers...

Everything necessary is 30 minutes to make Resurgence 2.0 ready...

Obtain results or we'll give you each penny back happily

Indeed, I Need Resurgence 2.0!

Internet Marketer Mike Rizzitiello: "Don't skip this. Really. I honestly believe that these strategies are the quickest and easiest to implement I've seen thus far. With this information, anyone can make money online!"

Dan Khan

Web Advertiser

"Resurgence 2.0 is a progressive item that will fix all your web showcasing issues. I always had trouble growing my list and earning commissions prior to Resurgence 2.0. Yet, presently, Resurgence 2.0 has sped up my development by multiple times and permitted me to arrive at new levels in my web promoting vocation. Very grateful to James and Imprint for this astonishing item!"

One of the few items that I highly recommend to my clients is Luther Landro Internet Marketer Resurgence 2.0. Imprint and James' strategies are not difficult to carry out for amateurs and have 6-7 figure potential for experienced advertisers.

I've been able to increase the monthly sales of my online business to more than $100,000 thanks to the Resurgence 2.0 strategies.

The evidence is in the pudding. Can you imagine receiving notifications like these?

Listen, I understand how awful it is to log into your affiliate account.

as well as observing the dreaded zeros.

Particularly after you've worked really hard, and put away huge amounts of cash.

It can really take a toll on you. What if there was a way to completely change that? What if there was a way to wake up to your account full of affiliate commissions? You’re about to find that way. We use it ourselves to earn $500-1,000 or more per day. Dear Overworked Marketer, I don't know who you are, but I can guess why you came to this page.

Allow me to ask you…

Is it true or not that you are still watching out for a method for bringing in cash on the web? Do you need to do it or could something go wrong?

I get it… It's normal to have individuals depending on you.

Kin, Guardians, Cousins, Dear Companions.

So I comprehend how critical it is for you to begin bringing in cash on the web...

Hello, it's

Mark Barrett and James here…

It wasn't so much that quite a while in the past when I was in a comparable situation as you.

attempting to make money online by trying what seems to be everything.

I had three kids and a wife to feed, and I was desperate to get things moving. I also lost my job and needed money quickly!

I still remember like it was yesterday when I was fired without notice: "Mark, due to some budget cuts we are unfortunately having to lay you off."

I almost leaped out of my skin.

I was out of a task and had vast bills coming in…

My home loan

My vehicle installment

My boat installment

My Visa installment

I needed to take care of my desperate circumstance...

So I Admired The Web For

WAYS Of bringing in Cash On the web

Despite the fact that I made a couple of commissions to a great extent, it was offset by colossal promotion costs.

So basically, I spent $1,000 to earn $200.

What a defeat!

Nonetheless, I did not give up. I had to find a way to work for my wife and children.

However at that point out of nowhere, I found something extremist...

The Insane Part?

It was so easy that a 10-year-old could set it up in 30 minutes with little effort and no technical knowledge.

I pinched myself at times, thinking I was dreaming.

But it was true—I had cracked the code to online earning.

I Was Shocked By The Outcomes and

Let My Companion James Test It Out…

Just to ensure this was certainly not an irregular accident, I showed my buddy James the strategy.

He put it into action in 30 minutes, when in reality it only took him 20 minutes.

This happened the following day.

BANG! $408.09 In Commissions

I need to clarify that James had never brought in any cash online before this. He is a complete and utter novice. This indicated to me that I had access to something powerful.

Now let's get to the big issue at hand: Are you wondering, "Can I Do This Too?"

Well, you can, yes.

Since you're going to get to the very strategy that we're utilizing…

The very straightforward technique that for all intents and purposes no one knows about.

Remember that it doesn't get any easier than this, so virtually anyone can make it work. All that is required is to follow the straightforward procedure we use every day. What's the Best Part?

You Won't Need…

Costly Techniques

Chatbots

Google Promotions

Bing Promotions

Facebook Promotions

Tedious Techniques

To Spam Web-based Entertainment

To Make Recordings

The magnificence of this technique is that it includes nothing intricate or costly,

also, that is the reason it works like gangbusters...

*YOUR TURN*

Enact The Resurgence 2.0 Technique With...

3 Basic Advances

PICK A Demonstrated Proposition

We'll show you our demonstrated technique for finding winning member offers, and how to get supported regardless of whether you're a novice

Shoot IT WITH TRAFFIC

Essentially follow the means we show you to begin getting traffic to your connections

Unwind and ENJOY*

This is the tomfoolery part... when individuals start to see your offers.... there's nothing else for you to do... simply pause for a moment or two and partake in the benefits.

RINSE & REPEAT (OPTIONAL) Repeat the three steps and continue banking This Could Be Your... AFFILIATE ACCOUNT *These results were obtained directly from the Resurgence 2.0 method. You’ve Come To The Right Place At The Right Time... I don't know about you, but it's a pain to miss out on anything.

to miss out on investing in Bitcoin or Ethereum while others succeed... Unfortunately, success is largely due to luck and timing. The good news? You have done precisely that; you have discovered the same strategy we use to earn $500 to $1,000 daily with little effort.

To make money online, you'll never need anything else. which, in turn, enables you to lead a life of tranquility—one in which you are not required to live on a limited budget. At the point when I need to purchase something, I can get it.

Isn't that how you want to live your life?

Now is your opportunity to do just that...

[bugtransport]

oh geez guess who remembered they can actually explain the thought process behind Whatever The Fuck The Rothko Comic Is look don't ask me let's just let me talk about art for a minute that's probably easiest

"nooo aha dont write a fucking novel about your favorite piece of art haha youre so sexy" shut up! my meat is huge. AND i'm sexy as hell. thank you.

let's talk about Clothespin by Claes Oldenburg.

my favorite piece of art of all time. this isn't a joke actually. this 10 foot tall clothespin has made me feel just about every emotion in existence. there's a larger (i think about 45 ft?) version in philadelphia somewhere that i'm aware of but i haven't actually gotten to see that one in person (maybe someday) so we're just going to be talking about the smaller one. which is still quite large. i think to actually explain myself and this one i need to take you through my history with it and how i originally saw it, because that really plays a lot into how i view it. maybe more so than the actual piece itself.

i'm just going from memory here so bear with me... this story takes place back in middle school when i lived in the midwest. i was a young dumb kid who liked drawing stuff so my parents would just sign me up for whatever art classes they could find (i took botanical art with a bunch of middle aged ladies once which fucked severely) and, since we were in the burbs just a train ride away from chicago, one of the options available was to take kids classes at the art institute. so i took some digital art classes there.

enter me: 12 years old and just wanting to learn how to draw anime girls on the computer. at this point i have not thought about art beyond knowing superficially that i enjoy Some Paintings and that certain narrative works have whipped my nuts off and sometimes i would look at pics on deviantart and get emotions i was unable to describe but i have not really, at this point in the story, thought to question why i feel that way.

there's one other important thing to know to make this whole experience make sense. the timing of me attending these classes was right around when the art institute opened up their modern wing! brand new wing + taking a digital art class = i spent so much time in there i cannot even begin to describe it. i wouldn't necessarily say that i like modern art more or less than anything else... but i can say that by sheer volume alone, no question, it is the majority of museum art i have consumed.

anyway, for those unfamiliar: the art institute has two entrances (well, that i know of). there's the main one with the lions that you've probably seen in ferris bueller's day off, and the second one is through the modern wing. here are some pictures i found online showing what the main hall is kind of like:

that glass wall in the far part of the picture is where the doors are. it's a really nice space; there are galleries both upstairs and downstairs. this is also the same place that i saw Untitled (Portrait of Ross in LA) but that's really neither here nor there. i've just seen it brought up before here and thought i would mention that it was a very cool experience. one of those things again where i saw it way before i could comprehend why it made me feel the emotions it made me feel... and then i got hit with The Understanding years later like a cartoon anvil. i couldn't actually find any pics in the 5 minutes i had to spend on google with Clothespin actually displayed, but here it is with a different statue in roughly, to my recollection, the same place:

that is a really dramatic place to put a sculpture.

okay well, anyway, the first time i saw this piece, i did not think it would rock my shit. i actually thought it was just kind of funny. i still remember it - our little group was walking to go take a look at a specific piece and of course, had to go through the lobby to get there. i saw Clothespin for the first time and went "haha, that one's kinda funny, i wonder what that means?" and someone shot back "i don't know, maybe a giant lost it doing laundry." that exchange tickled me so much that i spent the rest of the day and into the next week thinking about it.

the second time i saw Clothespin i was mostly just confused. in the same way that today i can still remember my first interaction with it but not any of the other pieces of art i saw that day, i was confused as to why this thing was leaving such a large impression on me compared to everything else. i did look at it for a while and then just kind of left. and came back to it. and left again. and came back to it.

that dance continued for a couple visits until i finally got the chance to sit down and watch it for a while. there were some benches under the stairs for people to rest; i took one of those and started to people watch. and brother... suddenly i began to get it, i think?

[to be read in the tone of someone who has been haunted by these thoughts for over half their life] see, i think the real genius in the way this was (and the really large one is) displayed is that they're in thoroughfares. they're both in high traffic areas where people are mainly trying to get from one place to another more interesting place, right. people entering a museum usually have a starting point in mind that they're looking to get to and go from there; people exiting a museum are usually kind of wiped and probably not really looking to look at much more art at that point. it's not quiet in a lobby like you get when going through an exhibit - it's not loud, but there is a constant background hum. there's a café upstairs and people checking tickets and families and school groups chatting and, of course, in the middle of that, a 10 ft tall steel clothespin, being largely ignored.

yeah, okay, not totally ignored. people would stop and look at it for a second or make a comment about it maybe or glance at it in passing. but people didn't really tend to look at it like they would if it would have been displayed in a room. maybe that was because they didn't want to hold up the flow of traffic going through (it was always pretty packed on the weekends) or maybe the display location inherently lowered the perceived value of the piece as art - it's not "enough" to be put on display in one of the collections specifically, it's just a clothespin. but it was big and quite impressive and in the middle of the floor and not something you could easily ignore, really. the juxtaposition between the impact it had on me and the way it was being treated by the visitors en masse... you know what? it is kind of being treated with the same thought that you would give an actual clothespin.

it might seem like a pretty base level concept. and it is! of course everything that has ever been made has been made by someone. but this was the first time that thought had really occurred to me in a way where i actually grasped the impact of that statement. somebody out there designed the clothespin and put thought into how it worked and felt and looked. even the most utilitarian designs are still designed. Clothespin my beloved is a reminder to myself to appreciate and recognize the beauty in the little things in life that people might not otherwise think about and i cannot overstate the impact that way of thinking has had on my life. some pieces of art i think definitely are better learning things about the artist but i've never looked anything up about Clothespin - i don't think this is necessarily the impact that the artist set out for it to make, but it alone and regardless of intent obviously has done one hell of a number on me.

"julia that fucks but what does that have to do with sonoi tarou" i'm getting there i'm getting there. god!

i think the important and relevant part of that story isn't at all what i ended up getting out of that piece. the important and relevant part is the confusion i felt leading up to the realization. i am not looking to get into a debate about What Makes Art but i think that we could probably agree on a baseline statement that one of the things that may make something art is the ability to elicit emotions from the viewer.* while yeah sure probably not what i think most people would anticipate or look to get out of art, frustration at your own lack of connection and understanding is an emotion. being unable to understand the artist's intention and experiencing connections but taking those connections you make completely off book is still experiencing an emotion. simply enjoying something superficially is as well an emotion. sonoi is so painfully close to getting things in my Humble Onion and goddamn that really makes me feel some kind of way. he just has to unclench about it.

for someone who has a stick so far up his ass ("integrity and perfection personified," cannot stand the bitch) i can understand why the concept of allowing himself to relax and consider how he is already obviously being impacted by art and what that means is hard. to focus on the correct way to view and create art is... well, how many duels have he and tarou had? how long have they spent trying to do things "right" and get the "correct" feelings from it? i mean, it makes sense for his character. i know a lot of people who feel the same way looking at art. i totally experienced adjacent feelings before the cataclysmic earth-shattering world-busting event known as Clothespin. ooh i just want to grab him by the shoulders and shake him. introspection! it's uncomfortable but that's the joy in it! i want to psychoanalyze him so bad.

fuckin, to conclude: MY moral of the story is that there's no right or wrong way to look at art. and i dont think there's any wrong way to love someone either.

*"julia are you arguing that fat anime milf tits are art" fuck yeah i am because they make me feel an emotion: HORNY. sorry i had to add that joke into this otherwise dry ass essay.

p.s. it's my life goal to make everyone look at Clothespin. i have a picture of it at my desk. again i have never made a joke in my life

[just-come-baek]

bet on it

Pairing: Na Jaemin x female!reader

Themes: smut | fluff | kidna cracky | light angst | fake dating!au | college!au | idiots to lovers!au | love letters

Word count: 21.2k 

Summary: One day, Jaemin stops by with a strange request. Any other person would just laugh in his face and refuse in a second. Unfortunately, I, being the dumbass I am, agree to it. Soon enough, everything gets out of hand, causing much more drama than we could ever predict.

Or in other words, Jaemin shouldn’t bet on things he knows he can’t win.

Warnings: all characters share like 3 brain cells, and somehow they all belong to Ten??? | self-indulgent type 3 diabetes fluff | cursing | mutual pining | college duties negligence | scheming and plotting | double-crossing | hookup culture condoning | corny and cringy stuff | alcohol consumption | smoking | extreme winter sports | amateur matchmaking | professional wooing | manipulative behaviour | steamy smut | oral female!receiving | thigh riding | spanking | marking | overstimulation | protected sex | lots of teasing | made up warnings | I don’t remember more

A/N it’s an instalment for love letters event hosted by neosmutcollective, I hope you enjoy my jaemin entry as well as other entries written by my friends from the network, check out the event tags too, and yeah, happy valentine's day!  😏  💖

***

“What?” I yelled, almost spitting my tea. No, I must’ve heard him wrong. Jaemin wouldn’t be stupid enough to do that. It had to be a joke. Or I must’ve imagined him say that. “You don’t mean that,” I added, still in shock, trying to comprehend what just happened.

“Come on, Noona,” Jaemin whined, staring right into my eyes, wishing for me to say yes to his ridiculous proposal. “I wouldn’t suggest that if I knew we couldn’t pull through.”

With a sigh, I shook my head. Jaemin’s proposition was absurd, and I couldn’t believe I was about to ask him again to walk me through it.

Damn me and my curiosity.

“Before I make my mind about this… tell me what the fuck led you guys to make that stupid bet. Then, and only then, I will still say no, but in good faith,” I demanded, smiling at Jaemin, knowing I wouldn’t make it easy for him to convince me. The odds weren’t in his favor, and he really had to put in lots of effort if he really wanted me on board.

“So we were chilling after practice, and then Haechan started to tease me that I have no game anymore,” Jaemin started, and I rolled my eyes. Of course, I should’ve figured it out. A man in his age apparently is a failure unless he has a different girl in his bed at least 3 nights a week, moaning his name at the top of her voice. Even though Jaemin doesn’t have a competitive nature, it still provoked him into agreeing to this absurd bet.

Life must be though with an ego so fragile…

Jaemin isn’t a fuckboy, yet he still has a fair share of love conquests. Though I had no idea whether it was true or not, he must have fallen a little behind the others – otherwise, they wouldn’t tease him about it.

“And then I said his mother must’ve dropped him on the head if he really thinks that,” Jaemin carried on. I nodded my head, trying to wrap my head around this preposterous situation. “Then, I said I could seduce any girl I want,” he added proudly, making me want to flicker his forehead, hoping it would knock some sense into that empty skull at the top of his neck.

“Okay, but how the hell did you end up with having to seduce me? This is the part I have the most trouble understanding,” I pointed out, cocking my eyebrow.

“Then, Chenle suggested we bet on it, and I agreed to it,” Jaemin whispered, looking away, sounding both regretful and shy. “I urged them to pick any girl, so Haechan looked around to choose my next conquest. It was the time when you and Ten were walking to the dance studio, and that bastard suggested you.”

So it was Haechan’s doing – I should’ve figured this one out. He was the only one wicked enough to possibly ruin somebody’s friendship because of a stupid bet.

Or, it was quite genius of him – maybe he figured Jaemin would not cross this line, choosing our friendship over winning this imbecilic bet.

“And you were confident you can woo me? What about our friendship? Does it mean anything to you?” I inquired, curious of what was going inside his head when he agreed to this half-witted bet. Did he seriously think we could have sex and then forget all about it?

“It’s not like that! I don’t want to woo you. I mean… I could, and you would be very much aware if I tried to hit on you, and you would fall for me. No doubts on that,” Jaemin spoke confidently, grinning like an idiot with ego blown way out of proportion. “But–“

Jaemin was about to say something dense, so before more bullshit managed to leave his mouth, I hit him with a cutting board. Jaemin whined, but I was sure he was exaggerating for comedy purposes. My hit was calculated and balanced – it was powerful enough for him to understand it wasn’t a good idea, but at the same, it was not going to cause any permanent damage to his brain. I’d never purposefully do that to him.

“We’re not having sex. Get that shit inside your head,” I interjected, pouring my herbal tea down my throat, already thinking about making another cup. This conversation was making me uncomfortable, and I wanted to put an end to it. Perhaps another lemon balm tea would calm my nerves.

Ignoring his penetrating gaze, I shuffled around the kitchen, setting the kettle on the stove. In the meantime, Jaemin walked around the kitchen island and grabbed me by my shoulders, looking straight into my eyes.

“Come on, Noona, I am not asking you to sleep with me,” Jaemin defended his case, quite determined to pull me on his side.

“Well… it looks exactly like you’re asking me to sleep with you,” I cut in, walking around him to the cabinet to get a fresh tea bag. I’ve really had enough of this bullshit.

“We could just make it look like like we did,” he carried on, and I heaved a deep sigh, regretting even letting him in today. I had this extremely boring essay to write, and at this point, I’d rather begin my research on whatever topic my professor assigned.

“It’s still a no from me, sorry,” I replied harshly, crashing Jaemin’s expectations. Judging by the look on his face, it wasn’t the outcome he anticipated when he decided to knock on my doors. “What happens when you lose that bet? Well… except for your pride, of course.”

“500 dollars.”

“Ouch, sowwy, I hope you can afford that,” I added with a fake smile, patting him on the shoulder, being well aware this amount of money was a game-changer to Jaemin’s budget. If he won, he would have the time of his life, spoiling himself. However, if he lost, he’d have to eat instant ramen on every meal for the entire month. “Either way, I hope it will teach you a lesson to not bet on things you know you can’t win.”

“Ugh, fine,” Jaemin groaned in disappointment, reaching for my hands, holding them carefully as if they were made of china. “If you help me, I’ll give you half of the money,” he proposed, and I looked at our hands linked together, then quickly shifted my gaze to his eyes. “If you help me win, you’ll get 250 dollars, and you’ll be finally able to buy those fancy shoes you wanted so bad. What do you say?”

When did he get so persuasive?

It was a low blow.

Jaemin knew that these shoes were tempting me ever since I had seen them. Multiple times, my thumb hovered over the add-to-cart button. Every time, I resisted the temptation last minute upon seeing the price tag, though. This purchase was way out of my budget.  However, now, when the new income opportunity presented itself, it made me wonder.

Suddenly, the kettle began to whistle, bringing me down to Earth from that ridiculous train of thought. Shaking my head, I tore my hands out of Jaemin’s gentle grasp, fidgeting back to the stove, pouring boiling water into the cup.

“Okay, fine, but I have a few questions first,” I gave up after a short pause for intense pondering, and Jaemin smiled brightly in instant gratitude and relief. Without my help, he would be doomed. “And then, if I like the answers, I have a few conditions.”

“Anything.”

“Okay, so first of all, how much time do we have to do the deed,” I inquired as I blew some air before taking a cautious sip.

“About two weeks,” Jaemin mentioned after a while as he had counted on his fingers how many days we have to team up and win five hundred dollars for us. “Officially, we have to do it before Jaehyun’s birthday party,” he specified, and I hummed, realizing it is very little time.

“You seriously think I am that easy? Outrageous,” I gasped, throwing a fake tantrum as I made my way around him to sit down on the barstool on the other side of the kitchen island.

“No, of course not,” Jaemin quickly realized what I was getting on, so he smiled sheepishly, already trying to figure out the best wording to calm me down. “I am just that good,” he added, and I leaned over to smack his shoulder. “Kidding,” he defended himself, stepping out of my reach. “Renjun proposed this party, I mean, it’s the easiest way they can verify we did it,” Jaemin carried on, and I cursed under my breath.

How convenient.

“But we’re not going to do the fucking,” I stated, as a matter of fact, repeating myself in order to make sure we were both on the same page. As much as it would be pleasant to actually do it with him, never under these circumstances.

“No, we’re not, but I guess we can sneak out upstairs to one of the unoccupied rooms, and once we make sure they’re listening, you can just shout how good I’m fucking you,” Jaemin reasoned, and I sighed as regret once again washed through me.

“That’s creepy,” I commented as my mind conjured an image of a group of peeping Toms, eavesdropping on our sex session. Once again, I felt the temptation to drop out of this deal, but then, another thought crossed my mind. “Ugh, fine, I’ll do it. All I have to do is shout for two minutes, and then, these cute shoes will be mine.”

“Two minutes? Are you insane?” Jaemin hollered, offended by my comment. “It happened once, and it was ages ago. I’ve learned plenty of tricks since then,” he blabbered, acting way too defensive for his past mishap. “Just let me live in peace, please.”

“Okay, so we have established the deadline, and although it’s not enough time for anyone to woo me, let’s go with it.”

“Thank you! I knew I could count on you,” Jaemin replied with gleeful enthusiasm as he sat down on the barstool beside me and pressed a chaste kiss against my knuckles.

“But you have to go overboard with the courting,” I added, making Jaemin groan. Hard work wasn’t his best suit, but this time, he really had to try his best, or I’d have to turn him down at Jaehyun’s party. “You really have to make it believable and super romantic. Otherwise, I’m out,” I clarified, and Jaemin nodded, though unwillingly.

“Fine, any other wishes in mind?”

“Once we win the bet, we have to end this whole fake-dating fiasco immediately,” I announced, already planning ahead. It was easy to win the bet, but the most difficult part was getting back to normal. If we planned to fake-date in order to fake-fuck, then it was reasonable to figure out how we’re going to fake-break up.

“We should agree on admitting it was the best sex of our lives, but despite that, we value our friendship even more, so we decided to remain friends. How does it sound?” Jaemin suggested, and I had to once again resist the temptation to roll my eyes.

“I agree with the overall message, but later, we have to work on proper delivery.”

 ***

On the very next day, Jaemin and I decided to implement our secret plan.

Since I specifically asked to be courted in an over-the-top manner, Jaemin suggested going to the cinema. There were no attention-grabbing titles screened, yet ultimately, we agreed on watching the very last projection of the sequel to Wonder Woman.

“Go get the snacks, I’ll buy the tickets,” I ordered once we stepped into the cinema area of the nearest shopping mall. It was two o’clock in the afternoon, so the establishment wasn’t crowded. Except for us, there was only a family of three slowly making their way to the exit.

“See you in five minutes,” Jaemin murmured before he walked off to the bar to get us some salty popcorn and soda drinks. Though we both considered them way overpriced, it was a perfect way to celebrate the beginning of our fake relationship.

“We still have some time until the movie starts,” Jaemin shyly whispered as he cleared his throat. “Let’s take some selfies to make it public,” he added, and I nodded, sending him a timid smile, knowing this protocol had to be done in order to properly keep up appearances.

These days, everything had to be posted on social media, or it didn’t exist. If we didn’t leave a single digital mark, people might’ve grown a little bit suspicious of our alleged rendezvous. It would probably shock our friends, but it had to be done if we wanted to really sell it to them.

The circumstances were perfect for an impromptu first-date photo shoot. We were able to snap a few pictures without any annoying looks of prying eyes, choose the best angles, and finally post it with an ambiguous description confusing the shit out our friends.

Though Jaemin took about fifty photos, ultimately, I allowed him to upload three.

One picture showed me standing back to the camera as I looked at the cinema schedule, trying to pick a movie. I was wearing an A-line crimson red dress and a pair of warm black tights – the outfit really made my figure look pretty slim.

“What do you think about this one?” Jaemin inquired, showing me the photo of our interlaced hands. With a hum, I inspected the picture, giving him the green light. It was appropriate for our first date – it would signify we weren’t at the cinema as friends.

“This one looks good enough,” I commented as I reached to swipe across the screen of his smartphone. “I look cute here,” I added, showing Jaemin a picture of us. We were smiling, staring at the camera, almost stuffing our faces into the bucket of popcorn.

“What kind of description should I write?”

“Something vague, I guess,” I answered with a shrug, having no clue what kind of comment would be fitting for this Instagram post. “Maybe stick to emojis,” I suggested, and Jaemin went back to work, adjusting filters and typing the description.

With a chuckle, Jaemin handed me his phone, letting me approve his commentary.

“Are you out of your mind?” I hollered, quickly deleting the emojis. Having smacked his shoulder, I turned around, blocking him from seeing the screen. Three blushed emojis suited our fake-date better than a popcorn bucket, a wine glass, and an eggplant.

“Sorry, I couldn’t help myself,” Jaemin apologized, still laughing at his incredibly funny joke.

“Here, I posted it,” I said with an eye roll, throwing his phone at his lap. “The commercials must’ve started; let’s go,” I rose from my seat and extended my arm, wanting Jaemin to hand me the cup of coke. Jaemin, however, completely misunderstood my intentions, putting his hand into mine, holding it gently. “Give me my drink, Jaemin.”

“Sorry,” Jaemin sheepishly smiled before he yanked back his hand and turned his head around, too embarrassed to look at me. I, on the other hand, laughed hysterically. That should’ve served him right after that emoji faux pas.

“I was kidding,” I admitted when my laughter died down. “Come on, Jaemin. Let’s go; I want to see the trailers,” I added before grabbing his hand, hauling him inside the screening room.

At the last row, we plopped down onto our double seat, getting comfortable for the movie. With our belongings thrown onto the neighboring seat, we stretched our limbs before the lights went out, providing us with the best viewing experience.

“Do you think they’ve seen it?” Jaemin whispered into my ear as he placed his head on my shoulders. “I want to check it, but at the same time, I don’t.”

“Mood,” I replied, feeling just as anxious.

The movie began, and we quickly forgot about our bold social media statement, focusing much more on the screening. Residing to our typical behavior, Jaemin placed his head on my shoulder, snuggling closer, taking full advantage of the bucket of popcorn, which rested on my thighs.

It was peaceful and comfortable – just as things were before Jaemin had come up with his brilliant idea to fake-date each other for the sake of that ludicrous bet. Though we acted the way we used to with each other, it felt somewhat different with that supposed romantic connotations haunting us. Not necessarily bad kind of different, though.

Just as we expected, two hours was more than enough for our friends to spam our individual inboxes. We both had dozens of messages from group chats, as well as private ones. All of them were asking and/or speculating what happened and why.

“I don’t feel like answering any of these,” I muttered, dreading to read what Ten and Jiwoo wrote on our roomies’ group chat. “I don’t feel like coming home, either. They’re gonna eat me alive with questions. I am not ready to face them yet. Wanna hang out some more?”

“Fuck, even my mom has seen them,” Jaemin cursed under his breath, completely forgetting about his mother being a mad keen Instagram user. Now, when he looked at our arrangement from a slightly different angle, Jaemin realized it brought way more consequences than he was planning on facing.

It was bad.

Really bad.

With shaky hands, I unlocked my phone, checking the Instagram post Jaemin had tagged me in. Not only our friends flooded the group chats, but also, they didn’t forget to embarrass us even further in the comment section.

lucas_xx444: what the heck??? 😧 is this for real???

yuu_taa_1026: finally!!1 maybe they stop simping for each other now 🤡

_jeongjaehyun: another man down, shame 😔

choi.jiwoo21: 🙄🙄 some men actually grow up, jeong…

mama_nana: Why am I only finding about this now?

“Well… fuck,” I murmured under my breath, still unable to process the fact that Jaemin’s mom knew about it. It was supposed to be a harmless charade; however, with each passing minute, it was getting out of hand. “What is the damage control procedure?” I asked in concern, biting the bottom lip nervously. Lying to our friends was pretty bad, but keeping this relationship thingy up in front of his mother was despicable.

“You know how she is,” Jaemin started, and I sighed, wishing I had no clue of what she was capable of. Unfortunately, I did, and it scared the hell out of me. “Either we go and visit her, or she’s coming to visit us,” he wondered, unable to choose which option was worse. “Fuck, she’s calling me. What do I do?”

With panic flashed in his eyes, Jaemin handed me his phone, expecting me to handle the conversation with his gossip-girl type of a mother. As if that would ever happen…

“Pick up and tell her we’re awfully busy or something,” I ordered him, gliding my finger across the screen, pressing the device against Jaemin’s ear.

“Hi, mom,” he spoke through gritted teeth, staring at me in absolute fury. Quickly, his hand cupped mine before he grabbed the phone, adjusting it.

By Jaemin’s mom’s standards, the conversation was brief. Or rather, her monologue was because Jaemin didn’t speak a single word through the entirety of it. Except for a couple of mmm’s thrown here and there, he didn’t engage at all.

Ideally, Jaemin would schedule the visit after we will have broken up. He’d go there by himself and tell her a story of us coming back to our senses and deciding to remain just friends. Unfortunately, that would require at least one functional brain cell and a pinch of assertiveness – both of which Jaemin seemed to lack.

“And?” I inquired, praying to hear some good news.

With a sheepish smile, Jaemin cautiously looked up at me. “We’re visiting her for dinner on Friday,” he announced, and I gripped my hands, trying to refrain myself from beating the shit out of him.

I didn’t sign up for any of this!

I just wanted some shoes.

“I hate you, Na Jaemin,” I angrily declared, storming out of the cinema, ready to indulge myself with plenty of greasy food. It wasn’t the best coping mechanism, but I needed to consume a ridiculous amount of calories in order to forget I was stupid enough to agree to participate in this travesty. “Are you coming or not?!”

 ***

The last thing I wanted was to face my roommates. They must’ve had dozens of questions about this out-of-the-blue date, and I was dreadful because I couldn’t provide them with genuine answers. Perhaps, I could try to confabulate my way out of this, but it was, nonetheless, risky.

Having eaten at least two servings of a delicious greasy meal Jaemin and I went for a stroll under the pretense of taking some more photos for future references.

Around 8 o’clock, I unwillingly made my way home. Even with that romantic aura lurking around us, it was still fun to hang out with Jaemin.

Walking up the stairs to the fourth floor, I wondered about possible solutions to my problem. In a perfect scenario, I’d sneak into my room without anyone noticing, so I wouldn’t have to deal with any prying questions until, at least, early morning.

Unfortunately, the moment I pulled out my keys, the doors swung wide open.

“Well, well, well…” Ten tsked with a mischievous smirk dancing across his gorgeous face. Asshole. How dare he tsk me? “Had fun on your date?” He asked, and I tried my best to ignore him. It wasn’t that easy, though. With Jiwoo backing up his teasing, I was outnumbered.

“So… you and Jaemin, huh?” Jiwoo mused, cocking up her eyebrow in curiosity. “Spill the tea. I didn’t spam your inbox to not hear all the details,” she added, and I rolled my eyes, regretting all of my poor life choices that led me to this moment.

“I’ll bring wine,” Ten hollered before he disappeared in the kitchen, also keen on knowing everything that had happened between us. “Don’t say anything until I get there!”

They wanted to hear a romantic story of how two friends realized they had hots for each other, and that’s exactly what I did. Unwillingly, I provided them with an incredible piece of fiction of how we felt the spark when Jaemin stopped by the other day.

Admittedly, it was easy to go with the flow once the wine molecules were coursing through my veins. With some liquid inspiration in my bloodstream, I narrated how adorable Jaemin had been when he had gathered enough courage to ask me out on a date.

“So I assume you’re bringing Jaemin to the cabin on the weekend,” Jiwoo inquired in a teasing manner, and I blinked in confusion. What cabin was she talking about? “You forgot, didn’t you?”

“Forgot about what?” I asked, still clueless about the whole ordeal. With a confused frown, I wondered what this cabin trip was about. Positively, I didn’t forget about it. It’s impossible to forget about plans you weren’t even invited to.

So, Jiwoo explained everything in great detail.

Apparently, Jaehyun and Johnny planned a weekend getaway to the cabin by the sea. They invited plenty of people, but since it’s the middle of a hectic period of exams, only a small percentage of invitees would be able to make it.

Jaehyun, Johnny, and Lucas gave up trying to get the best grades two semesters ago, so their schedule was pretty much open. Renjun, Chenle, and Yeri were nerds with every necessary book memorized by heart, so they didn’t have to cram the weekend before the tests. Jiwoo, being heads over heels in love with Jaehyun, would even cancel her manicure appointment to make it to that trip. She was that serious about this fratboy for some reason…

And now, two individuals needed a perfect excuse to ditch an uncomfortable family dinner. When a chance presented itself in front of me, I just couldn’t say no.

“I’m going. I don’t know about Jaemin, though. He’s meeting his mom on Friday, but maybe he can make it work.”

“Fantastic,” Jiwoo shouted in excitement before finishing her glass of wine.

“Now, when I think about it, I am glad I’ve taken an extra shift at the gym,” Ten chimed in with a playful smirk as he sipped his wine. “You two simping for each other was painful to watch, but now, when you’re hitting it off, it’s gonna be unbearable.”

“What do you mean simping?” I yelled in a threatening manner, ready to fight him for spitting nonsense so carelessly. I might’ve had a tiny crush on Jaemin, but I wouldn’t call it simping. Also, suggesting the simping was mutual? He must’ve lost his freaking mind. Ridiculous!

“Shit, I didn’t think this through,” Jiwoo mentioned, now probably re-considering if the trip is worthwhile. She would love to hang out with Jaehyun and finally make a move, but on the other hand, she would have to deal with my and Jaemin’s romantic shenanigans.

“Why are you such drama queens? We’ve been on one date, for crying out loud! Stop acting like we’re some kind of overly touchy couple because we’re not,” I barked, having no more energy to argue with them. “We’ll keep PDA to a minimum, don’t worry.”

“No need to get so defensive,” Ten added, enjoying my misery a bit too much.

“I am not getting defensive,” I argued, though facing real trouble, unable to actually back up my perspective. “Anyway, I am going to sleep. Unlike the two of you, some people have real jobs,” I added before storming to my room, plopping onto my bed with a tired groan.

Having changed into my pajamas and sneaked under the covers, I finally dared to connect my phone to the Internet. My inbox was full of texts, so I read them all. I didn’t feel like replying to any of them, though. Instead, I opened my chat with Jaemin.

my love 💖 | 20:41 | I figured it out

my love 💖 | 20:41 | You don’t have to thank me

my love  💖 | 20:41 | Also

my love 💖 | 20:41 | Wtf Jaemin?

my love 💖 | 20:41 | What kind of name is that???

my love 💖 | 20:42 | Change it back

baNANA 🍓 |  20:43 | No. 😘

baNANA 🍓 | 20:43 | The name stays

baNANA 🍓 | 20:43 | You can’t make me 😝😝

baNANA 🍓 | 20:44 | And what don’t I have to thank you for?

my love 💖 | 20:44 | I might’ve found alternative plans for friday

baNANA 🍓 | 20:44 | Oh???

my love 💖 | 20:45 | Jiwoo invited us to the cabin for the weekend

my love 💖 | 20:45 | We’re gonna get so drunk!

my love 💖 | 20:45 | It’s okay if you can’t make it, tho

baNANA 🍓 | 20:45 | Wow

baNANA 🍓 | 20:45 | I have an exam on Monday…

baNANA 🍓 | 20:45 | But I can make Haechan give me his notes

baNANA 🍓 | 20:46 | I wouldn’t miss it

my love 💖 | 20:46 | Good, then it’s a date

baNANA 🍓 | 20:46 | Date??? 🥰🥰

my love 💖 | 20:46 | Stop being so cringy!

baNANA 🍓 | 20:46 | Good night, love~~ 😘

baNANA 🍓 | 20:46 | Dream of me 😇😇😇

my love 💖 | 20:46 | Ugh.

my love 💖 | 20:46 | Disgusting 🤢🤮

baNANA 🍓 | 20:46 | I love you, too

***

As brilliant as my plan was, it fell through. Only partially, though. The little getaway was still a thing, but unfortunately, regardless of how much we tried, we couldn’t reschedule the dinner at Jaemin’s family home.

We still had to pay his parents a visit, but, at least, there was a silver lining.

Thanks to our hectic schedule, Jaemin’s mom wouldn’t have a chance to force us to stay longer. Whether she wanted to feed us dessert or stay the night, it was out of the question.

Since Jiwoo had one more exam to pass on Friday, half of the guests would have to show up later in the evening. Johnny, Jaehyun, Lucas, and Renjun were about to take off around noon while Jiwoo, Yeri, Chenle, Jaemin, and I had to carpool later in the evening.

I didn’t complain, though.

“It’ll be fine. It’s just my mom,” Jaemin reassured me, slipping his hand into mine, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I bet it’s gonna be like any other time you stopped by,” he added, and I cocked up my eyebrow suspiciously.

“You better be right,” I spoke, though still unconvinced. I knew Jaemin’s mother. She had a tendency to be, hmm…, a little bit extra. Who knew how she would behave now when she found out we were dating?

Since Jaemin was carrying our suitcases, I knocked on the front doors. Jaemin’s mom rushed to let us in, but not before she gave us bone-crushing hugs.

“I think you’ve misunderstood. I invited you for dinner. I didn’t ask you to move in with me,” Mrs. Na jested upon seeing the suitcases in Jaemin’s hands, misinterpreting the situation in the funniest way possible. “It must be shocking, but I enjoy living alone with your father.”

“We’re going to the beach with some friends after the dinner,” Jaemin clarified, and his mother hummed in understanding, acting a bit too cool about it. It’s been a while since Jaemin paid them a proper visit, and she was a little too nonchalant for my liking. “They’re going to pick us up around seven.”

She must’ve done something or was about to do something.

“Here’s some wine,” I spoke up, handing her the bottle as a small thank you gift for inviting us over for a delicious home-made meal.

“Thank you, dear. You’re so thoughtful,” Mrs. Na accepted the beverage, guiding us to the dining area. “I didn’t feel like cooking today, so I ordered some Chinese takeout. I hope you don’t mind,” she added, and I chuckled at her typical antics.

She was an amazing mother to Jaemin, raising him well, but she really was a terrible housewife. She didn’t change one bit, and I loved her for it. She had so much love for her husband, her son, and her son’s friends, and that’s what really mattered.

“Your father will be home in thirty,” she announced before she made a beeline to the kitchen to get a bottle opener. “And the takeout was supposed to arrive twenty minutes ago. If it weren’t for that slow delivery guy, I would’ve got away with my little secret,” she blabbered, laughing awkwardly.

“It’s okay, really,” I reassured her, sending her a genuine smile. “I am craving Chinese food, anyway,” I added before I elbowed Jaemin, so he would say something, too. For a blabbermouth he was, right now, he seemed awfully quiet.

Before Jaemin managed to provide his mother with a proper response, someone knocked on the doors. Since we had already arrived, it must’ve been the delivery guy with food.

“I’ll go get it,” Jaemin excused himself, leaving me alone with his mother.

“So…,” Mrs. Na cleared her throat as he began pouring wine into fancy glasses. “You guys are finally dating. And if you want me to be completely honest, I am a little bit disappointed,” she made a pause to look at me in the eye. What? She didn’t approve of me? That’s surprising; I used to think she adored me. “I am a little bit disappointed either of you didn’t make a move sooner. I was slowly losing hope,” she added, and I sighed in relief.

For a while, I was seriously concerned she didn’t like me.

“Are you expecting any guests? There’s no way we can finish it all by the four of us,” Jaemin commented as he walked into the dining room, setting two plastic bags of takeout. It smelled heavenly, and I couldn’t wait to taste whatever dish Mrs. Na had ordered.

“I can always invite your friends inside when they pull up,” she spoke matter-of-factly, but as soon as Jaemin looked at her sternly, she seconded that idea. “Or, I can pack it up, so you can share it with your friends later.”

“Should we wait for dad?” Jaemin asked when his stomach growled, demanding food. In the morning, he was quite anxious about going to his parents’ house, so he didn’t even bother to eat. Now, Jaemin was starving. He couldn’t wait any longer.

“I’ll get the plates,” his mom spoke, not really answering his question. Within two minutes, she came back with a special set of tableware. In their household, it was used only for holidays and other rare occasions. “Dig in,” she urged us, waiting for us to fill our plates before doing the same herself.

Whatever restaurant provided today’s dinner, it was remarkable. It wasn’t too salty, nor too spicy. Even when I was full, I still stuffed my mouth some more, unable to stop myself.

“You have sauce on your chin,” Jaemin remarked, pointing at his own chin, helping me locate the stray drop of soy sauce. “Here,” he added with a tired shake of his head, wiping it clean with his napkin.

“You two are too adorable,” Mrs. Na cooed, smiling at us widely. “It was worth the wait,” she added, and I creased my forehead in confusion. “Oh, did you hear that? It must be your dad,” Mrs. Na said upon hearing noise from the garage. “You keep eating, I’ll go greet his workaholic ass,” she excused herself with a playful smile before walking away from the table to welcome her husband as any loving wife would.

With a deep sigh, Jaemin leaned toward me, resting his arm on my chair.

“It’s not that bad, actually. I was excepting to go through some kind of FBI-level of interrogation, but she seems kind of chill about this whole thing,” Jaemin whispered into my ear, and I giggled, agreeing with him. It was kind of suspicious, but I couldn’t complain.

“It’s kinda creepy when she’s talking like she’s been rooting for us to end up together, but this one thing aside, it’s bearable,” I replied, and Jaemin nodded his head.

“I am gone for a minute, and you’re all over each other,” Mrs. Na snickered when she returned to the dining room, seeing Jaemin leaned in, only inches apart from my face. “Jaemin, mama’s so proud,” she added before she walked around the room to set the plate for Mr. Na.

“Stop embarrassing me,” Jaemin whined, playing with the food on his plate, pouting. Though his mother pretty much ignored his childish tantrum, I chuckled, finding it absolutely adorable. Maybe she was a teaser, but little Jaemin knew, he inherited it from her. It was time he experienced the taste of his own medicine.

The apple doesn’t fall that far from the tree…

The rest of the afternoon went peaceful. Though Mrs. Na threw in some cheesy remarks here and there, we could handle it. We were slightly buzzed, after all.

“It’s time for us,” Jaemin announced as he heard a car parked in front of the house. “It was nice. We should totally do it again,” he sarcastically added when he reached for my coat and helped me put it on.

“Don’t have too much fun,” she added with a playful smirk upon her face, earning a judging look from her more conservative husband. “No, wait, I second that. Have as much fun as you want. I am a cool parent,” she spoke, changing her mind in a matter of seconds. “And I plan on becoming a cool grandparent.”

At first, I wanted to remind her that we’re too young for children. Besides, technically, we only went on one date. It was definitely too soon to even think about these things, let alone talk about them out loud.

Thankfully, before I managed to say something I’d regret, Jiwoo honked, urging us to get going. If it wasn’t for her impatience, I might’ve ruined the image I had built for myself in Jaemin’s parents’ eyes.

“Your mother was joking! Always use protection,” Mr. Na hollered before he closed the doors after us.

***

Except for a few playful comments shot toward Jaemin and me, the ride was peaceful. As soon as we threw our suitcases into the trunk and squeezed in on the backseat, we hit the road. Jamming to Jiwoo’s playlist, we chatted in excitement, all of us in desperate need of a little vacation. It was a stressful time of a year, but maybe this short trip would actually help us recharge the batteries and calm down after busting our asses off.

“How was the dinner?” Jiwoo asked, staring at us in the rearview mirror. Since there was a limited amount of space, I was almost sitting on Jaemin’s laps. Jiwoo didn’t miss it with her eagle eyes. The way Jaemin played with my fingers didn’t go unnoticed, either.

“Bearable,” I muttered under my breath, not really wanting to recollect these memories now. I’d probably tell Jiwoo everything later, and she understood the subliminal message in a heartbeat. “How was your test?”

“I probably failed, but, at least, now I know what to expect,” Jiwoo answered as she turned to the left as the navigation system instructed her to.

In about two hours, we arrived at our destination.

Having stepped into the cabin with our heavy luggage in our hands, we encountered the middle of the party. A handful of beer bottles were scattered around the living area, the boys fervently discussing some matter.

“You’re finally here,” Jaehyun spoke matter-of-factly, as he noticed us in the threshold. “Go upstairs and leave your stuff in your rooms. We’ve already assigned them; just read the post-it notes stuck to the doors,” he explained before he turned away.

Huh, apparently, they were pros at planning.

The guys rented a cabin that consisted of six tiny bedrooms. Generally, we wouldn’t have a problem assigning them; however, since Jaehyun, Lucas, and Johnny didn’t want to room with anyone, we were facing a dilemma. They guys wanted to have some privacy if they managed to pick someone up at the hotel in the neighborhood. In this case, the six of us had to share rooms. Jiwoo and Yeri could room together. Renjun and Chenle could occupy another one, so it looked like they put Jaemin and me in the last one.

Thankfully, it wouldn’t be the first time when I had to share a bed with Jaemin. He had stayed the night plenty of times before when he dozed off during our Netflix marathons. However, it still was to be a little bit awkward since everybody thought we began dating. We were going to pull through, though.

As soon as possible, we came back downstairs, ready to even the score of consumed alcohol. All of us needed it. Everybody had a different reason for it, but none of our troubles were to be discussed tonight.

In the fridge, there was a whole palette of different types of alcohol. Quickly, I grabbed two tequila-flavored beers, handing one to Jaemin, allowing others to choose their poison.

My plan for tonight was to test every kind of alcohol, gradually going up with the percentages. It was a bad idea, but that’s what college was about – having fun like there’re no consequences.

We partied like there’s no tomorrow.

At first, we kept it simple. Fervent conversations led us to shout at one another, trying to force one perspective over the others. We were going through so many subjects that any sober bystander might’ve had real trouble comprehending how we managed to switch among them.

Then, someone suggested playing a drinking game. Of course, it had to be never have I ever. Everybody had so much fun, especially when the participants yelled at Jaemin and me because we didn’t even bother to abide by the rules. We were sipping our drinks whenever we felt like it, even between rounds, and it didn’t sit right with the rest. Eventually, they kicked us out of their little circle, giving us the crucial task of bringing some snacks from the kitchen.

Sometime past midnight, Jiwoo proposed going outside. It was beautifully snowing, but at the same time, it was freezing. Though I was opposed to this idea, everybody seemed to love it. The guys were throwing snowballs at each other, bringing out their inner child.

As if this wasn’t enough, they decided to take a stroll to the seaside. Though our cabin was maybe a mile away from the seashore, I didn’t particularly fancy the saunter. Jaemin was by my side, offering to warm my hand in his pocket, but I still was on the verge of freezing my ass off. I’d much rather sit by the fireplace under a few blankets with a mug of the mulled wine in my grasp. Apparently, everybody besides me was really intrigued by an ice bath and other winter extreme sports.

Though it was dangerous as fuck, Jiwoo took off her shoes and rolled up her jeans before she walked into the ice water of the sea. Being the dumbass he was, Lucas instantly followed suit.

“They seem to hit it off tonight,” I nonchalantly whispered as I elbowed Jaehyun. Jiwoo and Jaehyun might have a thing going on, but neither of them acted on it. Jiwoo was too whipped to make a move, too afraid of rejection. Jaehyun, on the other hand, was just a fuckboy, not really looking for a relationship. “Look at them. Don’t they look cute?” I carried on, cautiously watching Jaehyun’s expression. They weren’t together, but he seemed slightly jealous and frustrated watching her have lots of fun with Lucas.

In my opinion, he didn’t deserve her, but I didn’t really have a say in that matter. Jaehyun was the person Jiwoo’s heart longed for, and I, being her best friend, had to support that. Or, in this case, I had to give him a little push to get things in motion.

Jaehyun had some feelings for Jiwoo, but he needed some time and character development to fully comprehend them. Until then, it was my duty to remind him what he’s missing out on by not being serious enough to ask her out.

“Nah, I wouldn’t call them cute,” Jaehyun murmured through gritted teeth, positively jealous. “What they’re doing is dangerous; somebody has to stop them,” he added before he kicked off his own shoes, running toward Jiwoo to pick her up and bring her back to the shore.

“What was that?” Jaemin asked, being shook as to what he had witnessed.

“What was what? What do you mean?” I smirked, winking at him, hoping he wouldn’t tell anyone about it. “I didn’t do anything.”

“You played him,” Jaemin spoke, still impressed by how easily I manipulated Jaehyun into stepping into the scene, pulling Jiwoo away from Lucas. “Is this even legal? You’ve never done this one me, have you?”

“No, of course, not! Don’t be ridiculous,” I answered, though my tone suggested a completely different message. “You would’ve known, wouldn’t you?” I teased, chuckling at Jaemin’s funny expression. He was mortified. “I think you’re overreacting. I just pointed out some facts, and Jaehyun reacted to them according to his emotional opinion. I really didn’t do anything,” I added, defending my case.

“Don’t you ever try pulling a trick like that on me, okay?” Jaemin stated, and I nodded, giving him a promise. “I mean… I wouldn’t fall for it, but still, don’t.”

“We should head back to the cabin,” Johnny shouted, gathering the gang. Surprisingly, he seemed the most sober amongst us, so it didn’t come as a shock to me that he tried to look after his hammered friends.

In my opinion, it was a perfect call. I was slowly sobering up, and I definitely needed a refill. With my schedule packed, I had no idea when I would have a chance for another getaway, so I had to make the most out of this one.

As we returned to the cabin, Jaehyun’s eyes didn’t leave Jiwoo.

Jaemin, on the other hand, went upstairs to grab his camera, deciding it was the best time to snap photos. Of course, he had to take pictures of us when we were drunk out of our minds. Why didn’t he take any when we looked decent without smudged make-up?

“Sexy,” Jaemin commented as he pointed his camera at me. “Ahh, sexy,” he kept calling me that, and I stuck my tongue at him, wanting him to go away pester someone else. My hair was a mess, and my lipstick smudged off my lips a long time ago. “So sexy,” he carried on, making me roll my eyes at him. At some point, I tried kicking him, but that bastard was beyond my reach.

Around 2 o’clock, one by one, we began feeling tired.

Lucas was the first one to go. Considering how much alcohol he had drunk, I was surprised he lasted that long. Better yet, it was a shock he could even stand straight. Jaemin and Renjun had to escort him upstairs, but nonetheless, his alcohol tolerance was impressive.

I didn’t even realize when, but Yeri and Chenle managed to fall asleep on the couch. Firmly, Renjun shook them away, ordering them to go to their respective rooms. With tired yawns, they made their way upstairs, falling on their beds face-first.

“Let’s go to sleep,” Jaemin pouted as he sat on the side of the armchair, resting his head on my shoulder. Entwining his hand in mine, he stood up, pulling me up.

“Have fun, guys. We’re calling it a night,” I announced, refraining from yawning.

“No, you have fun,” Jiwoo replied, sending us a wink. Shaking my head, I sighed before we disappeared upstairs. I don’t know what she was thinking; however, I didn’t have the energy to keep my eyes open, let alone other nighttime activities. Besides, Jaemin was just as spent. Even if we were in a real relationship, we wouldn’t engage in half-conscious unsatisfactory messy sex.

“Come here,” Jaemin whispered as he smiled. His eyes were already closed as he patted the mattress beside him, waiting for me to join. “Good job. I think we really sold it to everybody,” he added as he snuggled closer, wrapping his limbs around my body.

“That’s good,” I purred, slowly drifting into dreamland. It was a long day, and it was finally over. Though it had a rough beginning, I ended it in Jaemin’s arms. “Good night.”

“Good night, my love,” Jaemin muttered, resting his head on my pillow right beside my face.

“You were supposed to change that name,” I replied, too drunk or/and too tired to realize it was his spoken words and not a text message.

 ***

During the second week of our relationship, we grew to be less tense around each other. Better yet, we seemed awfully comfortable, almost as if that’s how everything was meant to be. It was a little bit alarming, but I decided not to point that out. Even if it was just an act, I enjoyed it much more than I’d ever dare to admit. As long as it lasted, I was to savor it.

Ever since we came back from the weekend trip, Jaemin would pop up out of nowhere at least once a day with a surprise for me, proving how over the top he could be in courting a woman.

On Monday, he spammed his social media feed with my pictures from the trip. Of course, he didn’t forget to put a corny description under it, making me flustered. Even though I wouldn’t consider myself photogenic, Jaemin managed to bring out my best features with his photography talent and editing skills.

On Tuesday, Jaemin was waiting outside the auditorium with a cute bouquet of my favorite flowers – white roses. He was there to congratulate me on passing my last exam of the semester. The professor would send us results by the end of the week, but according to Jaemin, there was no chance I’d fail it.

“I still don’t get it how you do it,” Jaemin mused, scratching his temple, trying to put two and two together. “I hardly ever see you study, but then, you panic before an exam only to nail it later on. What kind of black magic is this?” He wondered, and I giggled, unable to explain my poor studying technique. I just winged it last minute every single time in my academic career.

“You better be right about this one,” I replied, still anxious about my grade. I didn’t manage to answer all of the questions, so a passing grade would be a relief. “I’m craving pasta. Do you want t go on a celebratory date?”

“You’re reading my mind,” Jaemin said, grabbing my hand, leading me to our favorite restaurant.

On Wednesday, Jaemin invited me to a bowling alley. Every month he would visit the establishment with his friends. Only on rare occasions, their significant others were invited. None of them could really commit to a serious relationship, so it never became a repetitive custom of their group.

“You guys are disgusting,” Haechan whined after our turn. Jaemin and I were losing by an enormous margin, but we didn’t mind. We were having fun despite a low score. “But at least, we’re winning,” Haechan added, pointing at Chenle and himself.

“I am the winner here,” Jaemin boldly announced, giving my hand a light squeeze, making me almost spit my soda.

Everybody cringed at Jaemin’s bold corny statement.

“I second that,” Haechan mused, looking away from Jaemin. “She’s bearable, and you are just absolutely repulsive,” he corrected himself, and I chuckled. Never in my entire life, I thought I would agree on something with Haechan, but this moment occurred right then.

On Thursday, although my schedule was packed with work, Jaemin insisted on hanging out. Tired out of my mind, I let Jaemin inside the apartment. He was carrying Mexican takeout; I couldn’t send him back home. Not when he had goodies.

“What do you want to watch?” I asked as I handed him the remote, allowing him to choose the movie. I was going to pass out anyway, so he might’ve as well picked something he liked.

“Anything is good,” he answered as he unwrapped his quesadilla, taking a bite off of it.

“The Notebook it is then,” I teased, but since Jaemin didn’t stop me, I put it on.

Having eaten my portion of a delicious meal, I lay down on the couch, resting my head on Jaemin’s thighs. I didn’t even realize when I fell asleep. Only when the credits were rolling down on the screen, Jaemin shook me awake.

“When did you fall asleep?” Jaemin inquired, a little bit mad that I forced him to watch the ultimate romantic movie of the twenty-first century. It was toxic as hell, and the way their behavior got romanticized didn’t sit right with me.

“As soon as I lay down,” I answered honestly, as I rolled around, staring at Jaemin’s handsome face. “How did you like the movie?” I asked innocently, swiftly changing the topic. It was for the better if Jaemin didn’t find out I paid no attention to the film. Instead of a great viewing experience, it was just a mere background noise that lulled me to sleep.

“I didn’t,” Jaemin whined, tapping his foot against the floor, making me sit up instantly. “It was toxic and sad at the same time. Noah was a manipulative jerk, and Allie was moody as fuck. The only bright side of their relationship is that they ended up with each other, not ruining other people’s lives,” Jaemin spoke the truth, and I couldn’t agree more. “In conclusion, give me my 2 hours back,” he added, and I hit him with a cushion.

Unable to comprehend what I just did, Jaemin blinked in confusion. Then, a few seconds later, he smirked and grabbed another cushion, ready to fight back.

Unfortunately, our childish antics were interrupted by Jiwoo. She was hanging out with Yuta, studying for the exam they had to retake the next day. To be completely honest, she couldn’t have any worse timing. While watching a movie was explainable, it wasn’t the case when it came to an impromptu pillow fight.

“Should I come back later, or something?” Jiwoo asked, pointing at the doors, willing to leave if it meant for me to get laid.

“Nah, Jaemin’s leaving. I am trying to kick him out, actually,” I announced, sticking my tongue out.

On Friday, Jaemin and I planned on going to the arcade. Unfortunately, we had to raincheck that. One of Jaemin’s coworkers fell sick, and Jaemin had to take a double shift at the coffee shop in his neighborhood.

I already had canceled my other plans to hang out with Jaemin, so I didn’t really want to stay at home all by myself. It was a Friday night, after all. Surprising him at work seemed like a better idea. His friends liked hanging out there; therefore, it must’ve been an excellent excuse for a little bit of acting in order to keep up appearances.

Quickly, I assembled a cute outfit and put on light make-up.

About an hour before the closing, I entered the coffee shop. Except for a few students with their noses in their computers, the establishment was empty.

“Welcome to–,” Jaemin hollered, ready to welcome the customers. “Oh, it’s you. What are you doing here?” He asked as a wide smile spread across his face, enjoying my surprise.

“I just came to surprise you,” I confessed, though none of us paid enough attention to the gravity of my words. I genuinely wanted to hang out Jaemin him as his girlfriend. “And I also wanted to get some discounted goodies. What do you have left?” I asked, looking over his shoulder, trying to see what food didn’t sell yet. An hour before the closing, everything on the menu was discounted by seventy percent, and I just couldn’t walk past that kind of deal.

“You’re not the only one who came for cheap stuff,” Jaemin commented as he saw Haechan and Renjun on the other side of the doors. “Take a seat, I’ll bring you your favorite,” he added, and I smiled at him, walking to the booth by the window.

Having finished my Greek sandwich, I focused on my cup of tea. I was scrolling through social media feed, giggling whenever I stumbled upon a funny meme. It was a perfect evening; complete relaxation in the rhythm of soft foreign jazz music playing through speakers, Jaemin checking up on me once every a couple of minutes.

“Oh, hi, there,” Haechan hollered as soon as he noticed me. He must’ve been returning to his table from a restroom. “I didn’t realize you’re here. What’s up?” We weren’t close, so his question was more like a polite generic statement rather than genuine curiosity.

“I’m waiting for Jaemin to finish, so we can hang out at my place,” I answered, hoping Haechan would get the suggestive tone.

“Actually, there’s something you should know,” he said quietly, looking around, probably checking if Jaemin was within earshot. “I am so ashamed it happened, but I really have to tell you something,” Haechan added, and I couldn’t wait for him to reveal the secret.

Haechan was playing dirty. He wanted to tell me about the bet, ruining Jaemin’s chance at getting me to sleep with him. It was some top-tier double-crossing, and I found it impressive. I had no clue Haechan had it in him.

“We shouldn’t have done it. I don’t know why we even agreed to this,” Haechan added, scratching the back of his head, trying to sound genuinely regretful. “I think Jaemin’s not genuine about the thing you have going on. You see, we made a bet. He has to have sex with you, or else he owes Chenle 500 bucks.”

“What?!” I exclaimed, hoping my consternation was believable. At first, I felt the temptation to say something along, yeah, I know, what’s new, but then I decided to play along. It was actually a good idea to make it seem like Jaemin’s about to lose the bet. Knowing them, they wouldn’t call it off. If anything, Jaemin could double the stakes. “No, it can’t be true. Jaemin would never –“

Now, it was my cue to make a scene. Hopefully, it would play out exactly like in my impromptu prediction.

Reaching the stage of fake hysteria, I rose from my seat and stormed to Jaemin. He was energetically wiping off the tables, wanting to leave shortly after the last customer.

“Is that true? Did you really make a bet you can have sex with me?” I yelled at him through gritted teeth. Jaemin, on the other hand, was confused as fuck. “Did you really think you could get away with it? You disgust me!” I shouted, slapping his cheek. “Don’t ever call me again,” I added before I turned on my heel, storming out of the coffee shop.

Being the only employee at work, Jaemin couldn’t run after me.

Jaemin deserved an explanation. I had to fill him in on my wonderful plan before he would blow it in front of Renjun and Haechan.

my love 💖 | 20:46 | play along

my love 💖 | 20:46 | trust me

my love 💖 | 20:47 | kick them out pls

baNANA  🍓  | 20:47 | wtf???

baNANA 🍓  | 20:48 | that hurt

baNANA 🍓  | 20:48 | I didn’t have to kick them out

baNANA  🍓 | 20:49 | they ran out a few seconds after you

my love 💖 | 20:49 | good

baNANA 🍓  | 20:49 | what the hell is going on???

baNANA  🍓  | 20:50 | I am confused

my love 💖 | 20:50 | Haechan ‘told’ me about the bet

my love 💖 | 20:50 | he wanted to double cross you

baNANA  🍓  | 20:51 | what???

my love 💖 | 20:51 | so the plan is

my love 💖 | 20:51 | they know you don’t stand a chance

my love 💖 | 20:51 | so you double the stakes

my love 💖 | 20:52 | and then bam! we win double the money

baNANA  🍓  | 20:52 | wow

baNANA  🍓  | 20:52 | you’re a genius

my love 💖 | 20:53 | I know

my love 💖 | 20:53 | and since I’m acting like I’m not talking to you

my love 💖 | 20:53 | bye 

my love 💖 | 20:54 | see you @ the party!

 ***

Everything went according to my plan. The guys thought I was pissed with Jaemin, while Jaemin still tried to convince them he stands a chance to court me. It was kind of ironic, they wanted to play me, but it was them getting played.

Together with Jiwoo and Ten, we came extra early to Jaehyun’s party. Still being stuck in friendzone, Jiwoo went out of her way to help him out. Today it meant setting up all types of decorations all over the fraternity house and preparing different kinds of snacks.

Around seven, an Uber pulled up in front of our building. Not to brag, but despite the limited amount of time, we managed to dress up to the nines.

I decided to keep it simple. My outfit consisted of a pair of skinny high-waisted black jeans, a long-sleeved sequin embellished crop top, and a pair of ankle-high boots.

Jiwoo, on the other hand, was wearing a two-piece baby pink dress and a pair of massive mid-thigh black leather platform combat boots. She looked fierce, like a weird baby of 90’s Britney Spears and Marilyn Mason.

Though Ten’s outfit looked the most effortless, it took him longer than us to put it together. Having thrown every single thing from his closet on the bed, Ten experienced a mild crisis. Even though he looked gorgeous in everything, he didn’t seem to believe us. Only after the off-hand intervention, he agreed to play it cool with a pair of ripped jeans, a black shirt with three top buttons left untouched, and an oversized leather jacket.

Once we arrived at Jaehyun’s fraternity, nothing was ready. Thankfully, it wasn’t my problem. Jiwoo was the one who volunteered to help out. Ten and I were about to vibe in the corner, letting other people arrange the place according to Jaehyun’s vision.

Trying our best not to disturb others, Ten and I watched the way the smelly fraternity sex mansion turned into a festive valentine’s manor.

“I hope she’s gonna get laid today,” I whispered into Ten’s ear, looking at Jiwoo working like a busy bee around the house.

“She better; that’s really painful to look at,” Ten agreed, looking a little bit disappointed. Jiwoo was at Jaehyun’s beck and call, and it was about time he acknowledged her feelings.

Around nine o’clock, it was getting a little bit crowded.

Music was blasting through the speakers. Some of the fratboys were already looking for their next conquest. Girls were dancing on a makeshift dance floor in the middle of the living area, suggestively swaying their hips, teasing whoever was watching with their sexy moves.

Later on, when I was in the middle of my fourth drink of the night, Jaemin finally showed up. Together with Haechan, Jeno, Renjun, and Chenle, they walked through the threshold. They all looked great, but Jaemin stood out in the crowd. After all, he was the only one to put on a suit jacket over his white T-shirt. While the rest rocked the comfortable outfits, Jaemin opted for a more elegant look.

Almost as if he wanted to impress someone. Or at least, apologize properly, trying every sly trick to make me forgive him.

Upon entrance, his eyes searched me in the crowd, and when he met my gaze, a smile stretched across his face. Shyly, he raised his hand, wanting to wave at me, but since I stubbornly turned my head around, playing my role of offended woman, he lowered it.

“I’ve seen an ATM on our way here,” Renjun commented, knowing Jaemin didn’t stand a chance of winning the bet.

“It won’t be necessary,” Jaemin replied, following me with his gaze. “I didn’t lose it yet,” he added, and the guys laughed at him. There was no way he still thought he could woo me. “I still have a few hours left; I am not going to give up.”

“You’re such a loser,” Jeno interjected as regret washed through him. Although he didn’t actively participate when the bet was placed, he didn’t oppose it. He was an idle bystander, allowing other people to ruin our friendship. It didn’t sit right with him, but it was too late. The damage was already done, and Jaemin was going to embarrass himself even further. “She doesn’t deserve any of this.”

“It’s not like that,” Jaemin started, but he refused to explain how exactly it was like.

“You’re still gonna fail,” Haechan added with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders. Back at the coffee shop, he ruined Jaemin’s chance for success. “Hey there, beautiful,” Haechan spoke when his attention was snatched by one of the girls who walked past them.

Once the boys divided to greet other friends, Jaemin strolled to the kitchen. I was there, and he needed to initiate the first step of our plan.

Sincere apology.

“Can we talk?” Jaemin whispered as he reached out to grab my hand, interrupting my conversation with Ten and Yeri. “Let me explain. You don’t have to say anything. I just want you to listen to me,” he asked, and I unwillingly complied, letting him lead me toward an abandoned corner in the living area. No one could hear us talk, but at the same time, everybody could see us.

“What do you want, Jaemin,” I barked, folding my arms across my chest, startling myself with how good I managed to behave like an angry ex-girlfriend. Though it was my last semester, maybe I should change my major to professional acting.

“Wow. You’re too good at this,” Jaemin commented before he proceeded with his part. “Anyway, I made this card for you. I hope it finds you well,” he announced before he pulled an envelope out of the inner pocket of his suit jacket.

Cautiously, I took the valentine’s card out of the envelope. Once I saw the front page, I couldn’t help but laugh. Jaemin must’ve done it himself, or he stole it from Jeno’s four-year-old niece. It was all covered in hearty stickers and glitter.

Jaemin definitely wasn’t a poet. He had never stood next to one, either.

Instead of a heartfelt apology and love confession, there was a short corny message which simultaneously made me cringe and chuckle.

Are you a ba-NANA? Cause I find you a-peeling.

From Your Love

P.S. it’s from me, your Jaemin

“You’ve really outdone yourself,” I spoke, shaking my head, trying my best not to grin. I was supposed to hate him, but it was too difficult. “I am gonna walk away now. Approach me once you raise the stakes.”

Although I didn’t want to party without Jaemin by my side, it was what I had to do. Having sent him a faint smile, I turned around and walked away, giving Jaemin some time to initiate part two of our plan.

Having drunk a few fancy shots Ten had made for me, we hit the dance floor. At first, we just jumped in the rhythm. However, when the DJ played the song we had practiced at the dance studio, everybody stepped to the side, making enough room to let us perform the choreography.

With alcohol coursing in my system, my moves weren’t as precise as usual – they still earned a round of applause.

“Hey, hey, hey, are you having fun?” Drunk as a skunk, Jaehyun shouted through the microphone connected to the DJ’s console. “How about we slow up the tempo?” Jaehyun yelled, and everybody cheered, making a lot of noise. “Tonight’s the love festival, and I, the valentine’s boy, specifically request every find a person to slow dance with.”

Having set the microphone aside, Jaehyun pushed DJ away from the console, putting on his Cigarettes After Sex playlist. The first song which graced our ears was Nothing’s Gonna Hurt You.

“Can I have this dance?” Jaemin appeared out of nowhere by my side, extending his hand for me to take. “Please?” He looked into my eyes, waiting for my response, looking hopeful.

As soon as I nodded, Jaemin grabbed my hand and gently pulled me against his firm body, resting his left hand on my back, holding me still, making sure I’d not run away. With my head resting against his chest, we swayed slowly, getting lost in our little world.

“They think I am a terrible person,” Jaemin whispered into my ear, his breath tickling my skin. “They seriously think I’d try to ruin our friendship with this bet,” he carried on, and I hummed, taking an inhale, getting hit with Jaemin’s musky cologne.

The boys truly underestimated the power of our friendship. Jaemin and I told each other almost everything. It was bold of them to assume I had no idea about the bet.

“Don’t worry about it,” I replied as I had closed my eyes, getting lost in the moment. “Everything will come back to normal soon enough,” I added, trying to ignore the bittersweet taste of my statement. Our fake relationship had an expiration date, and it was near.

“You’re right. Everything will come back to normal,” Jaemin repeated my words as he rested his chin on top of my head, pulling me even closer. “You’re the best fake girlfriend I’ve ever had,” he added, pressing an innocent peck against my hairline.

“How many fake girlfriends have you had?” I asked, chuckling, sounding a bit jealous.

“Anyway,” Jaemin started, trying to change the subject. “The guys took the bait. And now, judging by the stupid looks on their faces, they’re shitting their pants.”

“Once the song is over, we should initiate the third phase of our plan,” I commented, wanting to be over with this. In about a minute, I was about to pull Jaemin out of the dance floor and lead him to the bathroom upstairs, where we would do the deed.

When another song from Jaehyun’s playlist echoed in the room, all the other couples kept dancing. Jaemin and I, on the other hand, were about to not so discreetly sneak upstairs.

Unfortunately, we met an obstacle on our path.

It was Jaehyun, pointing his phone at our faces.

“It’s a kiss cam. Do what you gotta do,” he spoke, and I creased my forehead in utter confusion. What the hell was he doing? What the hell was a kiss cam? It was a frat party, not a baseball match. Didn’t he have a beer pong championship to win or something?

“What?”

“Do I really have to explain this to everyone? Jesus,” Jaehyun complained, taking a deep sigh, trying to ease his irritation. “It’s Valentine’s day! I am Valentine’s boy! And this is a kiss cam. You kiss, and I take pictures,” he explained, but I wasn’t convinced. “Hurry up! I have to take like 50 more of them.”

At first, I didn’t want to do it. But then, a thought crossed my mind. Who would believe Jaemin and I had sex if I refused to give him a kiss. It was just one kiss; it wouldn’t hurt.

Having licked my lips, I smiled at Jaemin before I wrapped my hands around his neck, giving him a chaste smooch. It lasted maybe a few seconds, but it still made me uneasy. Even if it was just a brief peck, it was too much for my poor heart.

“What the fuck was that?” Jaehyun groaned in disappointment. “One more time, guys. That’s how you kiss your mother, not your girlfriend. You can do better.”

“Show him how it’s done, Jaemin,” I encouraged him, giving him permission to assault my lips, hoping it would happen to be one hell of a performance.

Having smirked, Jaemin leaned forward, pressing his lips gently against mine. Cautiously, he deepened the kiss, knocking the air out of my lungs, making my legs shake under my weight. His hands held my chin in place as his tongue slipped through my lips.

Out of a sudden, nothing else mattered. Jaemin and I were in our bubble, and despite it being a one-time thing, I wished it lasted forever. Whatever expectations I had about this moment, it wasn’t even close to reality.

Jaehyun cleared his throat, wanting to pull us out of our trance. In vain, though. I moved my lips against Jaemin’s in slow sync, letting the sweet sensation strip me of the last remains of dignity. I was to savor every second of it, basking in bliss.

“Ekhem,” Jaehyun grunted, starting to feel a little bit flustered. “You guys done?”

Once we broke apart to take a breath, Jaehyun spoke again.

“Have you seen Jiwoo, by the way?”

“Yeah, I think she went for a smoke with Lucas,” I answered casually, watching panic display on Jaehyun’s face. It was evident he didn’t fancy the newfound information. “She went outside like half an hour ago, though. I wonder what it takes them so long,” I added, planting another grain of doubt in his subconscious.

As soon as anxiety downed on him, Jaehyun bolted outside. He better, though. If Jaehyun wasn’t going to make a move on Jiwoo tonight, I was about to find another guy to ship her with.

“You did it again,” Jaemin pointed out, and I just shrugged, dismissing his comment. So what? One push in the right direction wasn’t enough for Jaehyun to grow up, so I decided to be generous enough to give him a second chance.

“Are you ready for phase three?” I asked Jaemin, but before he managed to reply, I grabbed his hand, pulling him across the dance floor. Giggling, I ran through the sea of people, not so accidentally bumping into Chenle, almost spilling his beer.

“Oh my god, I am so sorry,” I hollered, giggling. Now, when I had Chenle’s attention, we could sneak upstairs to proceed with the final step of our plan. “Come on, Jaemin, let’s go. I am horny,” I added, probably overdoing my part. Unfortunately, the words were already spoken. I couldn’t take them back.

Having locked the bathroom doors behind us, I jumped onto the countertop. “Don’t you think it’s a bit creepy they’re gonna eavesdrop on us bang? It’s kinda off-putting, you know…”

When Jaemin wanted to speak, somebody knocked on the doors. It must’ve been one of Jaemin’s friends, checking if we were indeed fucking. “It’s occupied,” Jaemin hollered, mentioning for me to start my performance.

“Fuck, Jaemin! Eat me out, already,” I yelled, pressing my hands against my mouth, trying to stifle my laugher. This situation was ridiculous, and I couldn’t help myself but giggle. I had only a few drinks, yet I felt like I was high as a kite. “Yes, like that! Ahhh…”

“Can’t wait to fuck that tight hole,” Jaemin played along, almost dying of alcohol-induced tittering. We were definitely having too much fun.

“Right there, Jaemin!” I screamed, holding my stomach as it began aching due to excessive cackling. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, right there,” I moaned loudly, kicking my head back. “Don’t tease me, please!”

“I gotta get you ready for my cock, love,” Jaemin growled, and I gasped, my mind conjuring the forbidden image®.

“Just fuck me! I need your cock inside of me now!” I groaned, hoping whoever was on the other side of the doors heard enough of what was going inside. “Mmmm… you stretch me out so well…” I purred, almost falling off the counter when another round of uncontrollable laughter tried to erupt from my throat.

“Fuck, you’re still so tight.”

“Jaemin! Fuck, I am close. Keep going,” I yelled, mentally preparing for the big finale. This whole act was a vocal performance, and it was time I finished. “I’m coming! Come with me!”

“It was spectacular,” Jaemin whispered so only I could hear him. “I have one more favor, though,” he added, shying away. Oh no, he was about to ask about something stupid.

“What is it?”

“It could’ve been some random dude,” he admitted, scratching the back of his head, unsure how to voice his supplication. “Give me your panties. It’ll be the definite proof.”

“You’re joking,” I deadpanned, staring into his eyes, waiting for him to say it was just a harmless prank. “You’re serious,” I added as soon as I realized Jaemin meant it.

“Come on, I won’t be sniffing them,” Jaemin nagged, and I rolled my eyes. I didn’t even think about it, but now that he mentioned it, I had another reason not to comply with his weird-ass request. “I’ll give them back, I promise.”

“I can’t believe I am considering this,” I cursed under my breath. If any other person would like such a favor from me, I’d deny it in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, I had a soft spot for Jaemin, so denying him didn’t come easy to me.

Hell, I wouldn’t be here if I was able to say no to him.

“You owe me big time,” I caved in, jumping off the countertop, stepping behind the shower curtain, providing myself with some privacy. “Don’t peek. Even if I slip, you gotta stay on the other side. Got it?” I added as I stuck my head through the curtain.

“Scout’s honor,” Jaemin pledged, and I rolled my eyes. He was a scout for maybe a week. His honor didn’t mean shit.

Clumsily, I took off my shoes and jeans. “Here,” I warned before I threw my panties over the curtain. “I am too sober for this,” I nagged, trying to put my skinny jeans back on.

“Let’s do celebratory shots!” Jaemin suggested, balling up my undergarments, hiding them in his pocket. “We deserve it,” he added, landing me a helping hand when I was stepping out of the shower.

“Let’s go.”

***

Needless to say, Jaemin won the bet.

Unfortunately, it meant the inevitable end of our fake relationship. It was fun when it lasted, and though I’d miss these times, it was time to set the record straight.

As we had discussed, we had to arrange our break up.

Sometime next week, Jaemin stopped by to give me half of the prize. Since the boys had been stupid enough to fall for our little charade, I received a large sum of money. It was Chenle who sponsored the prize. Because of that, I didn’t feel particularly sorry about deceiving them. After all, Chenle was so loaded; he wouldn’t notice if he lost that kind of money on the street. I could finally buy these shoes which I had been dreaming of for so long! Better yet, I'd still have some money left to spoil myself some more.

“How should we do it?” Jaemin asked quietly. Ever since he came, he avoided my gaze, staring at the floor.

“I don’t know,” I unwillingly answered. This conversation was the last thing I wanted to do right now, but it had to be done. Better sooner or later, before I’d catch some real feelings for Jaemin. I had no idea how I would pick up the pieces of my broken heart if we kept this act any longer. “Let’s just delete all posts we published. Someone will figure out something’s wrong, and when they spread the word, we’ll explain we decided to remain friends.”

Maybe I wasn’t in tears, but I felt regret wash through me. Though our relationship had never been a real thing, it felt like it.

And it hurt.

“Alright then,” Jaemin complied, rubbing his hands against his thighs before he pulled out his phone to erase any digital footprint of our brief romance. His thumb hovered over the delete button for a while. After a few moments of hesitation, when he didn’t hear any sign of protest from my side, he pressed it, sending our memories to a bottomless void. “And it’s gone.”

“Are we cool?” I asked, hoping that nothing would change between us. I had a hunch it would take me some time to get used to how things had been before the relationship fiasco. Nonetheless, I still had hope we could remain best friends without any awkwardness.

“Of course,” Jaemin answered with a faint smile, but I didn’t fully believe him. Something was off, and it bothered us. Shame that none of us dared to begin this topic.

After he left that day, we saw each other very seldom. We barely even spoke to one another. If it wasn’t for the group chats we were both in, we wouldn’t talk at all.

Jaemin had said we were cool, but it was evident we weren’t.

It was eating me from the inside out, but whenever somebody asked me about the break-up, I’d always shrug it off, confirming everything’s great. I would tell our friends nothing changed between us. There was nothing wrong; our schedules are just incompatible these days.

When I had pretended I was in a relationship with Jaemin, it was easy. It came naturally, and everyone ate it up without any second thoughts. Unfortunately, now, when I was trying to play it cool, no one seemed to buy it. Thankfully, they didn’t confront me about it. Instead, they offered me their support if I ever needed anything.

In my head, I had a few wild scenarios in which I tell Jaemin we should date for real. However, at the same time, a little devil on my shoulder was telling me it should never leave the realm of fantasy. It’s ridiculous to think Jaemin would reciprocate my feelings.

I felt as if sadness took over my body. Though I was smiling on the outside, I was filled with regret. Barely anything sparked joy these gloomy days. Even this pair of shoes, which I wanted so badly, didn’t stir any positive emotion. I bought them, but I never took them out of the box.

Jiwoo had taken me out on a few girls’ nights to make me feel better. Men are trash – she would always say when Jaehyun ignored her yet another text. Even though they had fucked each other at Jaehyun’s birthday party and agreed to become exclusive, Jaehyun still had lots of problems committing to a monogamous relationship. They hadn’t officially labeled it, but everyone knew Jaehyun was slowly caving in.

Fratboys’ habits die hard, but Jaehyun was finally shaping himself into boyfriend material. He no longer slept around, as far to my knowledge at least, but he still lacked in some departments. For instance, it would take him way too much to text back.

“You were so adorable together,” Jiwoo began after she gulped down another rum and coke. Despite her high alcohol tolerance, she was already drunk, speaking with no filter. “I mean… you were simping for him for so long, and you finally managed to jump that dick.”

“Your point being…” I inquired, finishing my drink. Though Jaemin and I had never had sex, I didn’t want to admit that. What would Jiwoo thought if I told her it was all-pretend?

“I shipped you guys so hard,” Jiwoo confessed. “Ten shipped you too, but he will never admit that,” she added, and I giggled. Now, that was an interesting take. Ten was so random at many aspects of life; it came to me as a surprise he even had an opinion on my relationship with Jaemin. “Can I just take some duck tape and put my ship back together?”

“I am not sure Jaemin would like that,” I answered with a sigh, my mood instantly decreasing.

“Nonsense,” Jiwoo replied in a heartbeat. “This guy is even worse than you,” she revealed, and I rolled my eyes, not buying this. At least a few times a week, at my lowest moments, I happened to check Jaemin’s social media updates. He didn’t seem to mope around at all.

“I find it hard to believe,” I muttered, trying not to get too emotional.

“I mean it,” Jiwoo confirmed her previous statement, eager to explain her thesis. “Jaehyun and I went on a little date to the coffee shop where Jaemin works,” she started, and I nodded, not really sure what she was getting at. Nonetheless, I let her continue. I was curious what Jaemin had been up to. And since he didn’t seem to want to tell me anything himself, I’d accept any type of second-hand information from Jiwoo. “Jaemin misses you. You have no idea how many times I caught him daydreaming. He still has your photo set on his lock screen, and he stares at it a lot.”

Now, that’s interesting.

I had no recollection of Jaemin ever setting my photo as his background picture. Even if Jiwoo was right, it meant he set after we had broken up. It made no sense at all, and I was too drunk to try to comprehend the meaning of this.

Instead, I ordered another round, trying to stifle all the brooding emotions within me.

***

February was the month of parties. Too many birthdays fell during this hectic period, and I had trouble keeping up with them. Fortunately, Ten’s party was the last one of the month. After a small get together at our place, I’d have some time off to relax by myself, most preferably, without alcohol.

Being the semi-hosts with Jiwoo, it was our duty to help Ten organize everything regarding his party. Though our trio was a little bit disorganized, somehow, we managed to get everything ready before anyone arrived.

Maybe it wasn’t comparable to birthday parties at fraternity houses; it still had its charm. It wasn’t as wild, but guests still were having a great time in the company of their closest friends. However, what was the most important, Ten had a blast.

It was his day; he deserved everything he wanted.

Trying my best not to embarrass Ten, I decided to socialize with his friends.

It was time I move on. It took me way too long to mourn a relationship that wasn’t even real. I couldn’t let my brooding mood ruin the party.

“Hmm… Ten has never mentioned you before,” I confessed, not finding it particularly odd. Ten didn’t have secretive nature; he just wasn’t the type of person to over-share. And he often forgot to even mention stuff about his personal life.

“I can’t say I am surprised,” Hendery replied, making me giggle. It was fun chatting with him. Hendery was hilarious, and he knew many secrets regarding Ten. It was my mission to get as much information from him as it was possible. I would need it for blackmailing purposes, of course.

Hiding out in the kitchen, we sipped beer and exchanged rumors as if we were two gossip girls. It was too entertaining to stop. I was incredibly immersed in the conversation; I didn’t even realize when someone tapped my shoulder.

“Can we talk?” I heard the question, recognizing the voice in an instant. It belonged to Jaemin, and it seemed to be laced with both jealousy and irritation. The way he phased his plea gave me flashbacks of the conversation we had at Jaehyun’s party.

I really wanted to continue my discussion with Hendery, but I couldn’t say no to Jaemin. It wasn’t how my brain was programmed. Besides, I missed him a lot.

“Excuse me, I’ll be right back,” I told Hendery before I grabbed Jaemin’s hand, leading him to my room, locking the doors behind us.

“Nothing was supposed to change,” Jaemin started as he sat at the edge of my bed, leaning forward with his upper body propped on his elbows. His gaze was trained on the floor, too frustrated to look up at me.

“I know,” I whispered as I sat down in my chair on the other side of the room. My first instinct was to kneel in front of Jaemin, kiss his forehead, and assure him that everything’s going to be alright.

Unfortunately, it didn’t seem like a good idea, so I refrained from doing so. “I am sorry, it’s my fault.”

“Don’t,” Jaemin interjected before I embarrassed myself even further. “We’re both at fault.”

Despite the loud party noises coming from the other side of the doors, my bedroom was filled with deafening silence. It was awfully uncomfortable, and it was probably a good thing. One of us would get annoyed eventually and cave in, letting out all the bottled up emotions.

“I missed you,” I admitted, staring at my hands. I was all fidgety, and although I was too embarrassed to reveal my inner feelings, Jaemin deserved to know this much.

“I missed you, too,” he genuinely confessed, showing me a shy smile. “Actually, I missed you more than I thought it was possible to miss a person,” Jaemin carried on, and I held my breath, not ready to hear whatever he had to say. “You have no idea how much I wanted to text you or call you, but ultimately decided not to because I was sure you don’t want me to.”

“Jaemin,” I spoke, not really sure what I should say next. I had too many things I wanted to tell him about. However, now when he was here, I couldn’t properly voice my thoughts.

“Are you dating this guy you were talking to in the kitchen?” Jaemin asked out of the blue, catching me off guard with this random accusation. “Or do you want to date him? You two looked like you’re having a great time together,” he added, and I rolled my eyes. At first, Jaemin acted on his jealously, but then, insecurity crept in.

“I don’t know. I met Hendery today, but he seems like a great guy,” I answered honestly, thinking of possibilities of me trying to pursing something of romantic nature with Hendery. After our brief encounter, I could tell he’s fun to be around. And honestly speaking, I might’ve considered dating him if I hadn’t already had feelings for someone else.

Unfortunately, right now, I wasn’t in the right state of mind to date. Not when I was still hung up on my best friend.

“I probably won’t, though. I like somebody else,” I confessed, gaining Jaemin’s interest. Instantly, he sat up, staring into my eyes, patiently waiting for the reveal. “I am stupid, but I like this one guy. He’s such a jerk, I can’t even… he’s been ghosting me for weeks now,” I carried on, hoping Jaemin would get the hint.

Two weeks ago, we promised each other nothing would change. Despite our good intentions, it did. Even though I hadn’t told Jaemin how I really felt, I still lost my best friend.

My silence didn’t save this friendship. I tried to bottle up my emotions to secure our unbreakable bond. It didn’t work, so I figured confessing my feelings wouldn’t do any more harm. Surely, Jaemin was going to reject me, but at least, I’d clear the air between us.

Hopefully, my confession, followed by a harsh rejection, would help me move on.

Instantly, Jaemin ran up to my chair and knelt in front of me, trying to look into my eyes. “Please tell me this jerk is me,” Jaemin urgently spoke, unable to handle any more suspense. Jaemin’s gaze was hopeful, and it was too much for me to comprehend.

“What?” I asked, still being overwhelmed by confusion. What was going on? Why was Jaemin on his knees in front of me? Nothing made sense. How was I supposed to wrap my head around it? “I mean… yeah, it’s you. Who else could it be?”

“You have no idea how sorry I am,” Jaemin confessed as he grabbed my hand and yanked me against his chest, wrapping his arms around me, giving me a tight hug. “You could’ve said something… anything,” he added as he pulled back his head, placing a chase kiss against my forehead.

“I didn’t want to scare you away,” I admitted quietly, unable to break free from Jaemin’s cone-crashing embrace. I couldn’t believe he was so close. Na Jaemin was holding me in his arms, letting me listen to his rapid heartbeat.

“The worst two weeks of my life,” Jaemin spoke, once again breaking the silence. “It felt at least like two centuries,” he added, making me chuckle. Of course, it was an exaggeration, but it’s how I felt, too.

“How about we start over?” I proposed, taking a step backward to have a proper look at him. “Will you go on a date with me? This time around for real, no pretending,” I carried on, trying not to grin like an idiot.

“No.”

“What?”

What the fuck was that?

Did I misunderstand Jaemin’s words? I thought he felt the same, but apparently, he didn’t? Everything suggested he followed my flow only to crush my expectations, later on, leaving a big ass scar and more trust issues.

“I mean yes, but I should be me asking you out. Definitely not the other way around,” Jaemin clarified, making me relax. Thankfully, my mini panic attack was uncalled for. It was just my brain over-analyzing everything, conjuring the worst possible scenario.

“Then you better do your best to woo me,” I teased, wondering if he was willing enough to take the bait. It was just a mere joke, reminding me how it all began. He had wooed me once, and I wasn’t going to oppose to a second attempt. “Fun dates, romantic messages, silly gifts. I want it all,” I added, going a little bit overboard with my request list.

“Everything can be arranged,” Jaemin replied with a lopsided smile before he tightened his grip, almost crashing my bones in the process.

***

Jaemin and I began dating. This time around, it was real; no more pretending, no more stupid bets. Just two people who had discovered friendship could never be enough.

Even though I had told Jaemin I was just joking about this whole wooing thing, he refused to accept it, going to extreme lengths to make my heart flutter. I was already stupidly in love with him, yet he kept trying to make me swoon even more.

Despite our busy schedules, we made sure to see each other every day. It could’ve been a date at the arcade or just a quick coffee or a video call. In all honestly, I gladly accepted any form of contact from Jaemin.

I hated the prospect of going through a day without any message from him.

Except for many mini and maxi dates, Jaemin would also spoil me with plenty of encouraging notes of many kinds. Each massage from Jaemin was even sillier from the previous one. He never ceased to amaze me.

At first, Jaemin would stick post-it notes in different places in my room. Whenever I paid no attention, he would quickly write one for me to find it later. Whenever I saw sleep tight message stuck to my bedpost or you looked extra sexy today attached to the mirror, I smiled like an idiot, imaging Jaemin writing it.

If Jaemin forgot about post-it notes, he would always make it up to me by sending me corny direct messages. We would always text each other before sleep, and Jaemin never failed to make me smile with words such as:

If you happen to have wet dreams of me, you gotta tell me everything that happened. We can recreate it later.

I saw some sexy lingerie on my way home. Your ass would look amazing in it. I’m gonna buy it for you when I get my paycheck.

You’re the reason I wake up in the morning. Just kidding, I have to pee.

Whenever we went out, Jaemin would also scribble something either on a napkin or on a receipt. One time, Jaemin even gave a crumbled piece of paper that he was carrying in his pocket for some reason.

You know I’d give you my kidney, right? And a piece of the liver if you ask nicely. I hope you would do the same for me.

When we have kids, I’ll let you name the first one. Don’t fuck it up.

You’re my favorite pain in the ass.

You are stuck with me. You better get used to it.

Messy notes weren’t sufficient for Jaemin. Although I was more than content with the attention and affection he was giving me, it wasn’t enough for Jaemin. With each massage, he had to out-do himself.

Jaemin even wrote me a song! Or at least, he tried to write me a song.  It was really bold of him to assume I didn’t know the lyrics to Jonas Brothers’ Sucker. I loved this song, and even though I perfectly knew it wasn’t Jaemin’s piece of work, I still appreciated the gesture.

Later on, his love letters reached another level of ridiculousness. Jaemin sent me a love e-mail, and if that doesn’t prove how extra he can get, I don’t know what can.

Jaemin didn’t stop there. No, it was just a warm-up.

When I was checking the mailbox, I found a paper plane stuck in between bills. Jaemin must’ve put it there, probably after one of his frequent visits to my apartment. Though the paper plane was a little bit crumbled, I found it incredibly adorable. On its wing, it had “open me” written with Jaemin’s messy handwriting. Inside there was a corny message that turned my insides in absolute cringe.

Your wings already exist. All you have to do is fly.

A few days later, Jaemin gave me a CD with the love playlist he had made for me. Carefully, he had chosen our favorite songs and burned them on a disc. I had no means to actually play it, but I adored the gesture.

Jaemin’s creativity did not disappoint. At this point, he might send me a love letter via a fax machine, and I wouldn’t be surprised. There were no limitations to his imagination, and it was one of the many things I loved about him.

Neither of us dropped the L-bomb yet, but we really didn’t need to. Though that dreaded word has yet to be spoken, we perfectly knew how we felt about each other. We would do anything for one another; no doubt in that.

Having exceeded my expectations, Jaemin proved himself worthy of being my boyfriend. Or rather, he showed me he was way out of my league. When he was bending over backward, I was passively basking in the glory of Jaemin’s confessions. Relationships were about giving and taking, and it seemed our balance was off.

It was time we switched roles. It was only fair if I tried to creep my way into his heart the way he had been wooing mine.

As soon as I cleaned up the apartment and pampered myself a little bit, I pulled out my phone, quickly texting Jaemin. Hopefully, he wasn’t that busy.

my love 💖 | 18:12 | U want to come over?

baNANA 🍓 | 18:16 | 😏

baNANA 🍓 | 18:16 | You miss me???

my love 💖 | 18:17 |  🤡 🤡 🤡 🤡 🤡

my love 💖 | 18:17 | nvm forget I asked

baNANA 🍓 | 18:17 | 😧 😧 😧

baNANA 🍓 | 18:18 | I’ll be in an hour

baNANA 🍓 | 18:18 | want me to bring anything?

my love 💖 | 18:19 | nah, just get your cute butt over here

baNANA 🍓 | 18:19 | ?????

baNANA 🍓 | 18:19 | are you high??

baNANA 🍓 | 18:19 | should I be concerned?

Okay, I had an hour to prepare something for our impromptu date. It was fine; it was more than enough than I needed. The apartment was already clean, so I just had to whip something to eat and cool the bubbles.

For some reason, I felt in a celebratory mood. Whatever tempo Jaemin and I had, it worked in two week periods. We had fake-dated for fourteen days before we called it quits. Then, we didn’t talk to each other for two weeks. Tonight another period came by, and I wanted to celebrate it, hoping to break the unfortunate chain of bad luck.

The alcohol was already in the refrigerator. Having put on an apron, I opened all the cabinets around the kitchen, quickly analyzing the ingredients and what I can make out of them. It wasn’t much, but pasta would have to be enough.

It wasn’t a fancy dish, but I was made it with love, so Jaemin shouldn’t have any complaints. Pouring my emotions into the pasta was to make it extra flavorful.

When the sauce was slowly cooking on the stove, I decorated the table. I wanted to provide Jaemin with some high-end restaurant experience despite being in my cramped apartment. It was the best thing out of two words; we had all privacy in the world offered by a homely atmosphere, but at the same time, we would eat some beautifully garnished food.

Just when I was about to drain the pasta, someone knocked on the doors.

“Coming,” I hollered before I put the pot in the sink, wiping my hands on the apron before making my way to answer the doors. “Hey there, beautiful,” I greeted Jaemin with a playful remark, standing on my toes to press a brief smooch on his adorable lips. It took him off guard, but in some sense, he liked it.

“Hey, it’s my line,” Jaemin nagged when his hands found purchase on my hips, bringing me closer for another kiss since one was never enough. “What do you have there? It smells delicious,” Jaemin turned his head, trying to peek inside to see what surprise I had prepared for him.

“You know, just some carbs,” I answered vaguely, sending him a playful smirk, not wanting to ruin the surprise. I wanted him to sit down at the table and wait for me to bring the whole dish and pour us some cheap champagne.

Jaemin took off his shoes, kicking them to the side. A second later, he handed me his coat, and I put it on the hanger. Jaemin was wearing a pair of gray jeans and a mint oversized hoodie, and I drooled over this comfortable look. He didn’t have to try hard to impress me.

“Just wait here. I’ll be back in a sec,” I spoke when I guided Jaemin to the table, forcing him to sit down in the chair. Jaemin wanted to help me out in the kitchen, but I firmly refused. Tonight I wished to impress Jaemin; he didn’t have to move a finger.

“I know it’s not much, but I hope you’ll still like it,” I whispered when I put a plate in front of him. “Dig in,” I added as I sat on the other side of the table, carefully trying to pop the champagne bottle open. Though I hated doing it, too afraid of breaking something or hurting someone, tonight I wanted to try it.

“What’s the occasion,” Jaemin wondered as he fondly watched me fight with the bottle. “Do you need some help? You’re gonna hurt yourself,” Jaemin offered, genuinely concerned about my safety. However, I just turned around, wanting to finish it by myself.

It took me good five minutes to pop it. And when I finally did it, Jaemin gave me a round of pitiful applause, officially declaring it’s his job from now on.

“It was just painful to watch,” Jaemin playfully commented, and I kicked his shin under the table, showing him how much appreciated his remark was. “So… what’s the occasion?”

“Do I really need to have a reason to spoil my boyfriend?” I innocently asked, batting my eyelashes, and Jaemin smiled at the word boyfriend. We had never discussed labels, but it was self-explanatory we were in a loving relationship. “I figured it’d be nice to give you some more attention,” I absentmindedly added as I reached for my phone to play some soft EDM music through the Bluetooth speaker.

“Is that it?” Jaemin wondered, gazing into my eyes, searching for any ulterior motive I might have. “Are you sure you’re not trying to butter me up before you say something I may not like? What did you do?” Jaemin inquired, and I chuckled loudly.

“Calm down, Na,” I spoke, making Jaemin look up at me once again. I only called him by his surname when I was extra affectionate, so he was curious what I was going to say. “I just wanted to hang out with you. That’s all,” I confessed, but Jaemin scrutinized his eyes, not really buying my innocent talk. “Okay, fine. There’s one more thing.”

“What is it?” Jaemin inquired, grinning at me.

“Can’t you already tell? I am trying to woo my way into your pants, duh,” I confessed, and Jaemin choked on his champagne as he did not expect this wording. “Your heart! I meant to say into your heart,” I corrected when I realized my little Freudian slip. “Wait, no, screw it. I second that. I want to get into both.”

“You’ve already got into one,” Jaemin declared with a lopsided smirk pinned to his face. “But... if you don’t suspect it already, you’re welcome in both,” he added mischievously, taking a sip of his alcohol. I, on the other hand, looked away, feeling the heat in my cheeks.

“Good to know.”

“Where are Jiwoo and Ten by the way?” Jaemin wondered as he looked around the apartment, finding it suspicious they didn’t crash our date yet. Under typical circumstances, Jiwoo or Ten would haul another chair to the table and steal the food, third-wheeling our date.

“Ten is at the dance studio. He’s having a dance competition next week, so he goes there every time he has some free time to practice. And Jiwoo is with Jaehyun. He came here to pick her up a few hours ago. I don’t think either of them is coming home anytime soon,” I explained, smirking. We had the place to ourselves.

Finally, we could bask in each other’s company without any intrusive guests.

“I’d like to cheers to that,” Jaemin raised his glass, clinking it gently against mine.

Having eaten the food, we moved to the couch.

“What now?” Jaemin asked as he stretched his arm, resting it on the back of the couch right over my shoulders.

“I have one more surprise,” I announced before I jumped to my feet. “Wait a second,” I added before bolting to my bedroom.

“What is it?” Jaemin inquired, having no clue what else I could surprise him with. “What do you have there?” He pressed, tilting his head to the side, trying to see what I was hiding behind my back.

“Let’s take some pictures,” I announced in excitement, showing him my Polaroid camera. “I finally bought some film, and I really want our photo in my wallet,” I added as I plopped down onto the couch, resting my head against Jaemin’s chest. “You take it,” I ordered, handing him the camera. After all, he was the prodigy of photography. Besides, his hands were longer than mine.

“I think that’s more than enough,” Jaemin spoke after snapping the twelfth picture.

Having put the camera on the coffee table, he wrapped his arms around me. Jaemin pulled me on his laps, embracing me tightly, placing a round of pecks against my temple.

“Wait! One more thing,” I hollered, leaning forward to reach for the envelope which was lying on the coffee table next to our photos.

“You can’t say it’s the last thing and then bring another one. That’s not how it works,” Jaemin nagged, a little flustered that I managed to find another excuse when he wanted to cuddle. “Who are you? A fitness instructor? When you say it’s the last one, it should be the last one. You can’t come up with new ones every three minutes.”

“I promise it’s the last one,” I sat cross-legged on the couch beside him, handing him the envelope. Cautiously, he pulled the card out of it, and I looked at him, studying his expression in excitement.

“Annoyingly, I like you way more than I’d originally planned,” Jaemin read the cover of the card, smiling widely at the passive-aggressive message. “It’s already good, and I didn’t even read what you wrote inside,” he commented before he leaned forward to kiss my forehead. “I don’t get it,” he added in confusion as he saw the blank page inside the card.

“It’s my love letter for you,” I clarified, but Jaemin was still clueless.

“It’s a blank page. You really have that little to say?” Jaemin asked, trying to make sense out of my card.

“That’s not how you were supposed to interpret that!” I yelled, climbing on his laps, wanting to tear the card out of his ungrateful hands. Unfortunately, Jaemin’s hands were longer than mine, so even when I was hovering over his thighs, I couldn’t reach it.

“How was I supposed to interpret that then?” Jaemin challenged, holding my hips, forcing them down on his laps.

“I wanted to write something meaningful, but I just couldn’t decide what. I have so many things I want to tell you, it wouldn’t even fit on the card,” I started, trying to find the best way to form a coherent sentence. “One way to interpret it is that you have to imagine it’s written in a very tiny font. Because I have so much to tell you, I wrote everything down, but you just can’t read it.”

“I like it,” Jaemin whispered, pressing a gentle kiss against my knuckles.

“Or you can say it’s blank because whenever I’m with you, my head is completely empty,” I added, chuckling at the corny confession. “Or you can assume there are no words to describe my feelings for you.”

“How is it possible that without writing anything, you managed to top all of my love letters?” Jaemin wondered, smiling at me. “What kind of sorcery is this?”

“No, Jaemin. You’re not giving yourself enough credit. I loved your love letters. They were silly, but at the same time, I could feel you really meant everything,” I reasoned, looking down at Jaemin’s lips, slowly leaning in for a delicate kiss.

“Okay, I have an idea,” Jaemin suddenly spoke as he grabbed my butt and threw me off his laps. “I need a pen,” he added, looking around the living room, finding the pen on the coffee table. In a hurry, he scribbled down something on the blank page of the card, making sure I couldn’t peek. “Here, I found my way to interpret it.”

“Oh?”

“Yes,” Jaemin answered confidently, handing me the card. “Read it out loud for me.”

“Okay, I guess,” I cleared my throat before I opened the card. “My beloved Jaemin,” I read, looking at Jaemin’s face with a raised eyebrow. This was going to be good.

“Carry on,” he urged, and I shook my head, unable to believe I was going to do it.

“You’re the most handsome man I have ever seen. You’re also the smartest and the funniest. Not to mention, you’re the best kisser in the world. What the fuck is this?” I interjected, having doubts, knowing it was a bad idea.

“Just keep reading, babe,” Jaemin ordered, wanting me to carry on with his antics. “Though you’re no poet, it’s, by a huge margin, the best love letter I have ever received,” he added, blowing his ego way out of proportion, and I rolled my eyes.

“Now, when I look at you, I understand there’s not a chance I wouldn’t fall for you. So, since there’s not much space left, I just wanna tell you that I love you. I really love you, Jaemin.”

Before I managed to complain that he forced me to say the L-word first, Jaemin interjected.

“Finally, took you long enough,” he teased, and I sighed, wondering where to hit him first. “As if you haven’t figured it out yet, I love you, too.”

“You’re impossible,” I commented, still not quite sure if we just confessed to each other.

“I’m impossible not to fall in love with,” Jaemin corrected, once again hauling me back on his laps, taking my breath away with a fervent kiss. “How about you show me how you want to get into my pants, babe?”

Having had enough of Jaemin’s teasing, I decided not to comply with his request.

“I think you should go.”

“You’re right,” Jaemin agreed too quickly, and it made me alert. “Let’s go to your room because once I start pounding into you, I will not stop even if a group of nuns was about to break in and steal all of your shit,” he added as he picked me up, carrying me to my bedroom.

“You’re impossible,” I repeated my words when Jaemin threw me onto my bed before he landed on it right beside me.

“I think we’ve already discussed this,” he remarked, reminding me of the remark he had given me earlier. “So… where were we?” Jaemin asked as he put his hand on my side, pulling me closer. Soon enough, his palm slipped under the hem of my shirt, caressing my skin.

“Is it weird that the only thing I can think about is you eating me out?” I wondered out loud, stripped of all remains of dignity. Jaemin was in my bed, and I was planning on taking full advantage of it.

“Not at all, love,” Jaemin replied, showing me his eager smile. Quickly, he sat on his calves between my legs, taking his time to take off my jeans. “I thought about eating you out way too often ever since that thing in the bathroom,” Jaemin confessed as he threw my jeans across the room.

Though my panties were still on, Jaemin began his teasing. His soft lips trailed across my thighs, driving me crazy. His lips touched every inch of my skin except for the area I wanted the most. At this point, my panties were dripping wet, yet he didn’t even think of pulling them to the side, giving attention to my much-ignored core.

“You’re killing me,” I whispered, slowly losing patience. If Jaemin kept up with his antics, I’d combust out of sexual frustration. “Bold of you to assume I won’t let you taste your own medicine,” I warned Jaemin. It worked because as soon as I voiced my mischievous threat, Jaemin’s finger hooked under the hem of my panties, quickly pulling them down my legs.

“You’re no fun at all,” Jaemin clarified before his lips finally landed on my clit, making me buckle my hips in an instant. Slowly, his mouth moved against my sweet spot, and I arched my back with each swirl of his tongue.

Though he barely started, I could feel the electricity coursing through my body. In my state of permanent frustration, it wouldn’t be difficult for Jaemin to make me come against his mouth.

Getting into it, Jaemin squeezed my hips, trying to keep me still when he ate me out. His jaw was dripping in my juices as he made his way down to lick my folds.

“Fuck,” I moaned loudly when Jaemin’s nose rubbed my clit when he was running his tongue all over my entrance. “I think I am gonna come,” I admitted what made Jaemin smirk through the kiss. Jaemin barely touched me, but I was already close.

“Come for me,” Jaemin urged, releasing my hips from his firm grip. Now when I could buckle my hips against his face, my orgasm was just seconds away. With my hand in his hair, I rocked my hips, basking in pleasure.

“I need your fingers,” I begged, and Jaemin quickly obeyed my shameful plea. I expected him to tease me further, denying me his long fingers, but he was kind enough to do anything to make me come.

Thanks to my juices and Jaemin’s saliva, his two fingers slid right in.

“Fuck,” I shouted at the top of my voice when the wave of pleasure shot right through me. Jaemin’s jaw still played with my clit as he continued his actions throughout the orgasm.

“You blew my mind, Jaemin,” I muttered after I regained my focus after he had made me come on his face. “I came so hard,” I confessed, smiling like an idiot. It was way too long ever since someone made me feel this good.

“You better get used to it because I am planning this to be a frequent occurrence,” Jaemin whispered, looking at my face as if it was an art piece. “Do you have condoms?” he casually asked as he pulled down his jeans. His erected cock was restrained in the denim fabric, and Jaemin needed to get rid of it.

“As a matter of fact, I do,” I replied as I opened the bedside table and threw a brand new package of condoms at Jaemin’s chest. “Jiwoo got me those after she walked on our pillow fight the other day. Apparently, she doesn’t want any cum stains on the couch.”

For a while, we were lying on the bed, staring at each other. Jaemin gave me some time to recover from my orgasm. According to him, I needed to take breaks because he didn’t want to over-stimulate me too soon.

“I really love you,” Jaemin confessed genuinely, and I quickly rolled closer to him, giving him another chase smooch. His confession was music to my ears, and I could listen to it on repeat without getting tired of it.

“I love you, too,” I quickly replied, leaning in for another kiss. With his hand on my cheek, he deepened the kiss, giving us another chance to get lost in the love trance.

Having thrown my leg over his hipbone, I hovered over his erection.

“Let me take care of you,” I said as I pulled away from the kiss. With a playful smirk upon my face, I grabbed the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head. Slowly after, my bra followed suit, and Jaemin grunted upon seeing me completely naked in front of him.

“Sexy,” he purred before he eagerly took off his hoodie, throwing it onto the floor. “On a second thought, maybe you should put something on. You’re too sexy, and I’d like to last longer,” Jaemin explained, handing me his hoodie so I could cover myself up. “No, it’s even worse. Take it off,” he changed his mind after seeing me in his clothes.

Carefully, I pulled Jaemin’s boxers down his legs, letting his rock hard cock spring free. Biting on my lips, I grabbed his erection, giving it a few gentle strokes.

“Fuck it, I am ready,” Jaemin yelled, placing his hand over mine, making me stop. “You have all the time in the world to blow me. Right now, I want to feel you,” he added, quickly pulling out a condom from its packaging.

“Let me at least roll it down for you,” I offered, and Jaemin sighed, weighing his options.

“Nah, I am not willing to take that risk,” Jaemin answered, proceeding to wrap his cock by himself. “Now, come here, sit down on it,” he urged, and I shook my head. Smiling like an idiot, I guided his cock towards my entrance, slowly sinking down on his length.

“You’re good?” I asked, trying to guess what was going on inside his brain. Judging by his sour expression, he must’ve been thinking about something terrible in order to stop himself from coming too soon.

“Yes, everything’s cool,” he reassured, and I took it as permission to gently rock my hips back and forth. Whenever I moved, Jaemin kept grunting quietly. Apparently, he also suffered from sexual frustration.

My hands were wandering all over his muscular chest, admiring his athletic built. My hips were moving at a steady rhythm, but whenever I happened to increase the tempo, Jaemin would slow me down with a firm grip on my hips.

“If you keep doing that, I might spank you,” Jaemin warned me, but it only made me want to disobey more. “Why did I even expect you to be a good girl?” Jaemin asked, rolling his eyes.

“Spank me,” I ordered, trying my best not to chuckle. “I dare you,” I added, pushing the right buttons. “Like that,” I moaned when Jaemin’s hand collided against my butt, shaking me with newfound excitement.

“You’re impossible,” Jaemin comment, still in shock after discovering how much into spanking I happened to be.

“I’m impossible not to fall in love with,” I remarked, using Jaemin’s own words against him.

Unable to handle my teasing, Jaemin sat up. “I love you so much,” Jaemin stated once again before he looked at my lips, kissing them. Now, when I was distracted by his tongue, it was easier for him to control my movement.

In our upgraded position, I significantly slowed down. Carefully, I moved up and down Jaemin’s cock, while he sneaked his hand between our entangled bodies, rubbing my clit. I was close, and I was about to come again.

I didn’t know what he was so self-conscious about. No doubt I would come first.

“Jaemin, I am coming,” I breathed out, messing up my rhythm. It was difficult to maintain the same tempo when Jaemin was playing with my clit. Jaemin’s lips moved down my neck, finding a perfect spot on my collarbone to leave a hickey.

“Me, too,” Jaemin whispered as he began thrusting from underneath me, now desperate to push the both of us off the edge. “You’re so tight, fuck,” he cursed as my walls started to swell around his throbbing cock.

Jaemin moaned against my skin, muffling his sinful sounds. I, on the other hand, screamed Jaemin’s name at the top of my voice, telling everybody in the world he was the person, making me feel this good.

Having fallen onto the sheets, we looked into each other’s eyes. We were panting as if we just ran a marathon. Not that I had any doubts, but Jaemin turned out to be a passionate lover, and it made me love him even more.

“You’re beautiful,” Jaemin complimented me, staring at my face in utter admiration. “I am so lucky,” he added, and I moved closer, snuggling up to him. It was still early, but I was so fucked out, I could fall asleep right there in his arms.

Having pulled me closer to his chest, Jaemin threw a duvet over our sweaty bodies. His fingers were tracing shapes on my shoulder when he pressed yet another peck against my temple.

“Are you down for another round?” Jaemin asked as he discarded the full condom. His cock was still semi-hard. In a few minutes, Jaemin would be ready for some more. “It’s cool if you’re not,” he added, trying not to put any pressure on me.

“I want you to do me all night,” I confessed, looking over my shoulder at the clock. It’s only 8 pm, and I could stay up till daylight with Jaemin.

“Do you want to go bowling tomorrow?” Jaemin asked, and I eagerly nodded. It was fun the last time I had joined the boys on their monthly trip to the bowling alley. Besides, I would be the first woman to break the unfortunate one-time-only curse. I couldn’t wait to show up two months in a row.

“I’d love that,” I answered, snuggling closer to Jaemin’s side.

In content, we basked in happiness until Jaemin regained enough energy to go for the third time. However, this time around, it was slow and steamy. Under the covers, Jaemin crawled on top of me, kissing every inch of my body.

“Do you want to roll it down on me? I think I can handle that,” Jaemin asked, and I reached for the condom, carefully rolling it down his length. “I wish I could fuck you without one, though,” he added, and I flicked his forehead, making him whine. “I’ll pull out.”

“I trust you, but it’s still a no from me,” I replied, guiding his cock into my entrance. Inch by inch, Jaemin pushed himself all the way in. “You fill me up so well,” I praised, purring into his ear. “I love your cock.”

Distance between our bodies was practically nonexistent. Jaemin was slowly snapping his hips, rubbing his pelvic bone against my clit, turning me into a moaning mess. I wouldn’t be surprised if my neighbors called the police because of all the noise coming from my bedroom.

“One day, you’ll let me fuck you raw. I’ll make sure you do,” Jaemin carried on, and I hissed, feeling the approaching orgasm. I didn’t even bother to comment on Jaemin’s statement. I was whipped for him. I knew I wasn’t able to maintain my assertive stance for long. Eventually, I’d cave in, letting him fuck me without a condom. It wasn’t today, though.

“In your dreams, lover boy,” I answered, but Jaemin just giggled, knowing I wasn’t serious.

“You have no idea how many times we’ve done it raw in my dreams,” Jaemin confessed as he picked up his pace, pounding into my pussy, making me moan at the sudden speed. “One day, I’ll tell you all about my fantasies, but right now, I really want this pussy to cream around my cock,” he added, his filthy words making my walls squeeze around his length.

“You wait until I tell you mine,” I challenged with a smirk. If Jaemin thought he was the only one with a dirty mind, he was seriously mistaken. While most of my fantasies were PG-13, there was still a large portion of naughty scenarios. Now, when Jaemin and I were finally together, it would be fun to try to recreate at least some of them.

“You better come because I can’t go much longer,” Jaemin warned me, pounding in and out, chasing his own release. “Fuck,” he yelled, falling on top of me as he shot his load into the condom. His cock twitched inside of me as he moved slowly, riding out his orgasm.

“Jaemin,” I hollered, coming undone underneath him. Despite the other peaks, this orgasm hit me the hardest. For a brief second, my vision turned black as I gave in to the pleasure.

Breathlessly, I lay in the sheets, slowly descending from my high.

“I think all I can do tonight is cuddle,” I commented, feeling too fucked out to engage in any other form of affection. “I don’t think I can walk.”

“It’s okay. I can carry you around the house,” Jaemin answered, finding a solution for my problem. Having pulled his limp cock out of me, Jaemin rolled down another condom, putting it aside.

“What is it?” Jaemin asked as he heard a noise from the living room.

“It sounded as if someone was knocking on the doors,” I spoke, trying to identify the sound. “It must be a courier for Jiwoo. She keeps ordering stuff online. It’s probably the late evening delivery she forgot about. Can you get it?”

“No problem, babe,” Jaemin answered as he put on his jeans, walking around the bed to answer the door.

At first, I wanted to wait for Jaemin in bed. However, it’s been like three minutes, and he didn’t come back, so I found it weird.

Having put on Jaemin’s hoodie and a pair of leggings, I made my way out of the room.

Jaemin was standing by the doors, looking inside a plastic bag. Whatever it was, it smelled like Thai food. Unfortunately, it didn’t explain anything. We were here alone, and we didn’t order anything.

Just when I was about to open my mouth and ask Jaemin what the hell was going on, Ten walked out of his room. It was strange, but I saw him leave, and I didn’t hear him come back.

“What the hell are you doing here?” I asked angrily, trying to hide my embarrassment. If he was here the whole time, he must’ve heard us having sex.

“I live here, duh,” Ten answered matter-of-factly, choosing not to give me the explanation which I desperately needed. “I think it’s mine,” Ten spoke as he walked up to Jaemin to take his Thai takeout.

Although Jaemin and I were standing in the living room in complete consternation, Ten didn’t seem to pay any attention to it. In front of his bedroom, Ten stopped in his tracks, turning his head to face me.

“Congratulations, by the way,” Ten spoke, making me even more embarrassed. “Three times, wow. It’s impressive. Don’t fuck this up, dear. He’s a keeper,” Ten added, sending me a playful wink before he disappeared inside his room.

[fanmoose12]

"They don't really like me out there, right?"

The question is so sudden and the uncertainty in Levi's voice is so bewildering that it takes Hange a second to comprehend it.

She stops in the middle of a street to gawk at Levi, her expression half confused, half amused and one hundred percent loving. The pout Levi tries and fails to hide is beyond adorable.

Hange wants to stare at it forever, but Levi asked her a question, expecting an answer, so she tries to deliver.

"By they you mean..."

"Brats," Levi spits out as though the word itself disgusts him. He deflates quickly, however, after Hange gives him a long, disappointed look. "I meant, the children," he mumbles, his cheeks flushing.

The people start mutter curses as they struggle to pass them by on a narrow street, so Hange starts walking again, forcing Levi to follow.

Their conversation is not forgotten, however, as Hange thinks of the best way to get her point across to Levi.

The kids not liking him? What a ridiculous notion. Nothing could be further from the truth. The kids adore Levi, and it's only because Levi seems so unattainable and cold, they act so stiff and awkward around him. The whole lot of them actually look up to Levi, but Hange isn't sure that she can say it to Levi without making a lame joke about his height. And lame joke, unfortunately, isn't what Levi needs right now.

"The kids don't hate you, Levi," she begins, and the way his eyes widen makes Hange chuckle. And he calls her oblivious. "They... well, they are sometimes nervous when you're around, but I think it's caused by that special aura of yours and that scary face..."

"You think I have a scary face?" Levi scrunches his eyebrows and turns to the side, studying his reflection in the mirror of a shop they pass by.

"No," Hange shakes her head, just barely stopping herself from pinching those adorable cheeks of his. "To me, yours face is not scary at all."

Hange heard other people - lots of them actually - say that Levi is scary, but she doesn't quite see it. Levi is many things - he is kind, brave, extremely handsome, but he's not- he's not scary.

But Hange knows that other people don't think the same way, they don't know Levi as much as she does and they don't think that his face is the most adorable thing in the world, but, oh well, so many men, so many minds.

"And kids don't think you're scary as well. They're just... wary of you? But they still like you plenty."

"Hm," is all Levi says, his face turning thoughtful.

He doesn't completely believe her and the doubts confuse him.

Hange wants to wipe off that lost expression from his face, it's not adorable at all.

She knows Levi well, and that means she knows what one should do to make him feel better. A cup of tea is the surest and easiest way. Playing a prank on Mike can do the trick too. But they're in the middle of a street, there is no tea here and Mike is back at the barracks, so Hange has to do all the work by herself.

She isn't sure that this thing would work, but she has a hunch, and, either way, she's a scientist, she learns through experiments.

She bumps her shoulder against Levi's, and smiles blindingly as he turns to face her.

"Besides," she says. "I like you plenty. Even more than the kids do."

Not all of her experiments are successful, but this one, surprisingly, works out even better than she had hoped for.

Levi doesn't just relax, he actually smiles, although he quickly hides it from her curious eyes.

And then, as if the smile wasn't enough to shock Hange, he laces his fingers with hers and mutters, "I like you too, four-eyes."

Hange gasps, her mouth falls open and she's pretty sure she looks like a fish fresh out of water.

But Levi doesn't mind, Levi doesn't even make a sniding remark, because Levi is nice and he likes her.

Hange squeezes his hand tightly, and with a happy smile on her face, she follows after him.