#it was so nice seeing everyone tho
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what up fam i realized i never posted this here (wheeze) but i prepared a lil zine for my local con a few months back :^) it was a rly nice experience despite atrocious weather.....anyways this is available to read for free on my ko-fi here if you'd like! it was hectic racing to the finish line but im glad i finished a lil smth with The Boyz...if u picked one up and flipped through, THANKS!!!!! PEACE
#m&r#ocs#my art#i also got to table with the fish ever TY FISHHH#sry i was so ded orz#it was so nice seeing everyone tho#getting to talk to a lot of old frens n meeting new ones!!!#honestly feel v blessed even one person gave a hoot abt these lil guys! thanks so much! ya dunno wat that means to me!#would like to keep making things for a long time...#ty again everyone T_T
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SAPNAPS NEW START SCREEN IS 🔥
This is such a dream come true ✨
Like?? THAT'S ME! My art WOW
UPDTAE: No longer stretched lmao YAY
twitch_clip
The process (included scrapped scenes) can be found here!
#artists on tumblr#do not repost/steal#sapnap my beloved#sapnapfanart#sapnap#cc fanart#sapnap start screen#commission#I DID THAT#WOOOOOOO#IM SO EXCITED AND HONORED AND HAPPY#WHY IS IT SO STRETCHED THO LMAAAOOO#animation#took me a year lmao#procreate#fought me the entire way#HE WAS SO NICE AND CHILL AND SWEET#SO HAPPY HE LIKES IT#EVERYONE WAS SO SURPRISED TO SEE IT LIVE#aaaaa 💕💕💕
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[OLD ART ALERT] A COLLECTION OF SCENES FROM THE GILLIONS CATSCRATCH ARC THAT BROUGHT ME GREAT JOY. i love fishy chips especially when its just gillion being delirious and violent and hostile
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#jrwi riptide spoilers#JUST NOTICED A MILLION MISTAKES FUUUUUUUUCK BUT WWHATEVERRRRR IF I STARE AT THIS ANYMORE IM GONNA HHUURRRLLL#SO I REALLY LIKE FISH AND CHIPS RIGHT. IVE BEEN IN LOVE W THE SHIP EVER SINCE THAT NAT 20 KISS#BUT I THINK I SHIP IT WRONG. OR LIKE. I AM CORRECT BUT EVERYONE SHIPS THEM DIFFERENTLY#THE FISH N CHIPS I SEE EVERYWHERE ELSE IS SO FLOWERY AND SWEET AND ROMANTIC. AND THATS NICE! THAT STUFFS NEAT#but gillion and chip would NEVERRRR enter anything similar to a romantic relationship. chips too damaged and gillions too uninterested#I LIKE MY FISH N CHIPS ONE SIDED AS FUCK#bc 2 gillion chip is his best friend in the whole wide world but hes also kinduvagross little man that took him a MINUTE to really warm up2#but to CHIP gillion is this powerful and gorgeous and heroic paragon of destiny and his best friend in the whole world who will#bring about the eschaton. 'i didnt believe in destiny until i met you' until i met a champion radiating with a light thatll alter the world#OHH REMEMBER THE FIRST ICE ARENA?he was so mad.still probably shaking from the ordeal.NEVER had he felt true divine radiance CLEAVE through#his SOUL like that.do you remember that moment in the forest w the bugs. an alien from the ocean; lacerating the land w lightning#when the realization flickered in chip for a moment.that the thing standing before him was more powerful than he could ever fathom#remember when grizz mentioned that the nat20 kiss was the 'best kiss chip ever experienced'. that has nothing to do w this. where was i.#LOST MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT. BUT HEY. I THINK at the beginning chip absolutely knew that gill was smth grand n powerful n scary#when gillion revealed what exactly the prophecy was;chip got defensive and mad.sure he was sleep deprived but OOH. HES SCARED!#he believes gillion too! he believes that his destiny is to eradicate either the sea or land and that scares him!#but then he gets past it bc ultimately he trusts his bestfriend gillion so so much. he fuckin loves this dude.#he would throw himself intothe path of fire for this dude. he would boat across the ocean for this dude.he would build arenas for this dude#even if this dude will end half the world.even if this dude wields the power and the obligation to eradicate him at any second.#even if this dude is going to throw himself into harms way for his own comrades.even if this dude is just going to sacrifice himself.#one way or another one shall die for the other.these self-sacrificial bastards click so well with eachother!!#chip believes his body is best used to pave roads and gill believes his body is destined to pave prosperity.WHATEVER!!#i really love their dynamic!! they care for eachother so much!in MY heart tho. the icing on the cake here is the fantasy that chip is#just a bit more In Love w gillion than he realizes. like this powerful fish guy is HOT and PRETTY and KIND and FUNNY and LOYAL and STRONG#but gillion would never rly feel that same sort of attraction towards chip. its just not rly his thing. aroace as fuck man.#thats how it is in MY little heart atleast. and i sit here and play w my touys in my brain n i explore my silly lil one sided fish y chips.
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I'm updating my personal ref sheets and it's really hitting me just how SMOL Kirby, Bandee, and Elfilis really are compared to the rest of the cast.
#Elfilis! standing on your tippy toes is cheating!!#its okay tho on all fours you're like a little house cat compared to Dedede hehehe#here's a bonus story for anyone nice enough to read my tags#I'll tell the cliffs notes version of the story I drafted of why Gorimondo is so much taller than the other Beasts#especially when comparing Gori to the Mookies (the little hammer monkey enemies)#It involves him exploring a forbidden ruin with Sillydillo#and finding an experimental growth serum in some abandoned school chemistry lab#Gori was the shortest of everyone growing up so he's self conscious about it#Silly can read enough “Forgotten Language” to pick out the word “grow” and eggs him on to try drinking it#and they're like teenagers at that point so Gori just shrugs and tries it and nothing happens.#fast forward a year and he doubled in height#NO ONE KNOWS why he shot upwards like that except for Silly. he doesn't want to be lectured about drinking strange potions in the ruins#the rest of the beast council friend group just assume he was a late bloomer of some kind or he just increased his exercise routine#but when kids ask him why he's so tall Gori just says he ate all his vegetables and always listened to what his parents said#the kiddos in Wondaria were very well behaved after he told them that#the end! thanks for reading hehe. if you could only see my notes on the Beast Pack#their personalities are so basic in canon I get to squash and stretch their backstories all I want muahaha#art#forgotten land roleswap#roleswap bonus features#king dedede#meta knight#elfilis#kirby#bandana waddle dee#kirby and the forgotten land#kirby series#kirby comic#beast pack#clawroline
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David says CIAO!
#“my name is italy” might be the stupidest things I could ever say to him but I swear to you after he said “hi italy!” I felt like an idiot#'cause everyone was laughing and I couldn't tell if it was at me so I was like to myself sure I represent a whole country my name is italy🙄#but I said it outloud and he heard iiit#at least you can hear him say ciao#but I still want to punch myself in the face everytime I think about it#it's so difficult tho to come up with something nice to say when he's in front of you for 0.5 seconds#I just wanted to let him know that people come from italy too to see him#david tennant#macbeth#macbeth 21.10.24
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Buddleia How nature loves you like blue is drawn to you
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I joined bluesky the other day :3 🦋 come support me there too if you want! Thank u see ya ^^
#oh my beautiful disorder princess.. siiighhhhhh#呪術廻戦#夏油傑#stsg#@n5bl79v on 🦋 ^^ (link under the cut ;3;3#just made my account; i wont promote it again lol.. just this once ;P <- im Very Cute..! let it slide for me hihihi👉👈..!)#(it feels nice to start fresh. twitter was not it anymore lol. not leaving tumblr tho! losernerd site my beloved)#i drew this a while ago i just never posted..... im so good at social media guys..!!!!#(that being said.... everyone seeing this say thank you to the butterfly app please lol!....amen hein)#geto suguru#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen fanart#satosugu#geto fanart#i dont like gojo here but the beauty of this site is that if i ever decide to i can just edit the image later AYYYYYYY
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Just keep getting back up (Patreon)
#Doodles#Handplates#UT#Fellplates#Gaster#Asgore#The thought of Gaster able to heal himself! Rather to only have himself to rely on in a world that lives to hurt him (and everyone else)#It's an interesting inversion that's for sure#Is it as satisfying if it's not the one who deserves the broken bones? The pain of rejection or of justice retribution punishment?#It's still the same face - and it's not like he's wholly innocent here either#And besides it's always fun to draw tears hee ♪#Get him just a bit disheveled aside from the broken bone - it's hard to imagine him in different clothes even after drawing him in the dress#Softer clothes would be so nice to hold Babybones with but even just dropping a shoulder off his coat or untying his bow tie - it's strange!#I do like the image of his flower crown shedding petals when he gets roughed up tho hehe - tossed around just a little too much!#Breaking his hand right down the middle - it'd be much easier with the holes in his hands as a weak point#All his bones could break easier than his hands before that but now-#It's weird to draw Asgore like that lol I dunno....Works well enough for utility but pffblt :P I always forget his pauldrons anyhow lol#Really rubbing it in that Gaster will be fiiiine he's sooooo special what with his ability to heal >:( Lol#It does make him a bit of a target - a regenerating punching bag? Ideal to see just how far you can push him#It was fun to draw with my green coloured pencil as well ahh <3 Healing magic always gives me a bit of the warm fuzzies#It was the original comic that made me fall in love with Handplates after all ♥ Pretty and feelings <3
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😀 i love setting out to draw 1 character multiple times but ending up drawing multiple characters 1 time instead 😀 i love it so much 😀
#honestly the qi rong is still my fav.... first one i did.. its jsut so yummy to me ok#the he xuan too.. other two can go fuck off for all i care#i only care for the left side of this canvas#also i feel like i channeled my mbj design while trying to draw he xuan 😔 i cant help it--- like theyre both nonhumans with black n blue#color schemes in my head and.. yeah.. imean he xuan is water and mobei-jun is ice it makes sense in my mind#but also imagining that he xuan design absolutely tearing into food is cracking me up.. i just need to draw him enjoying a nice meal fr..#tian guan ci fu#tgcf#heaven official's blessing#the four calamities#qi rong#hua cheng#he xuan#bai wuxiang#my art#me @ everyone: you get long pointy ears 🥰🥰🥰. (gets to bwx) ... not you tho 🥰🥰🥰#i should draw every tgcf i want to so bad#you will never guess who my favs are i am so not predictable i am so unpredictable you would never see it coming you would never guess im s#i feel like i havent done a lot of tgcf posting on here tho.... . i mean my initial hyperfixation on it was last year i believe??#but i never really stopped thinking about adghasdhgahdjhafa
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Today started off nicely with a cute little wedding. Looks like M.M. and Buckeye are married at last! Congratulations to them, I'm so glad the ceremony went off without anybody making it weir-
For fuck's sake, Vance, it's her wedding day. Her dragon husband and his kickass talking sword are RIGHT THERE.
I do like the top hat tho
One of our guests from The Empire decided he wanted to hang around, and I have to admit I do have a soft spot for Hussars who join us out of the blue (thanks to Henry from the Animist Alliance), so we accepted him gladly.
You know, for lore purposes, I'm going to say that the only reason Curly was allowed to stay despite following a different religion is because colony leader Vasso has a soft spot for gay guys with moustaches.
Obviously, nobody could be better than Laursen, but Curly is decent eye candy, too.
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#rimworld#gracie plays#The Children of Ecthuctu#art#my art#traditional art#rimworld art#unpolished art#slightly more polished art than usual#Mr and Mrs Buckeye has a nice ring to it#Hopefully they don't consummate their marriage too hard and end up with ANOTHER saplingchild#I wanna get this run finished so I can get Anomaly#It looks SOOOOOO COOL#also cool is Curly!#He is very pretty#I had fun drawing him#We'll have to see if he can live up to Henry's standards tho#those are some BIG hussar shoes to fill#Have a great day everyone!! <3 <3
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Artistic rendition of my actual reaction when I got home from work
#Guys-#It's been a DAY#HOW DOES IT HAVE THAT MANY NOTES??#uHM-#THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH#RISE UP RAPH NATION!!#My levels of serotonin went from moderate to so high I actually might have blue screened mentally for a second#Thank you all so much for loving my drawings of this red angel he's the best!#I've said it before but Raph is such a comfort character to me and even tho I'm still figuring out how I wanna draw him#seeing the nice tags everyone leaves on my doodles of him is so sweet!!#Please know I go back and look at tags on my older Raph x OC comic just to smile at them#And I'll be doing the same with this post!#ROTTMNT#Rise of the TMNT#Raph#Raphael#Rise Raph#Save rise of TMNT#unpause rise of the tmnt#unpause rottmnt#save rottmnt#Sona
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a koi pond for your dash:
❀ 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 ༄ ❀ 𓆝 𓆟 ༄ ❀ 𓆞 𓆝 ❀ ༄ ﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌
#our pond thawed so i sat beside the water today and watched the fish#i wish everyone as beautiful and peaceful a moment as that today ♡#i dont have a koi pond btw judt a farm pond that a neighbor put goldish in like twenty years ago#they thrived tho and they're pretty like koi fish#im planning to add water lilies to it this year and maybe some other pretty ornamental plants around it idk#also a bench hopefully bc rn you have to sit in an uncomfy rock lol#anyway#still a nice place to hang out im just planning to make it nicer when i have the money for landscaping#im considering adding some actual koi to it bc i read they can coexist w goldfish really well bc they're both carp#but idk i assume they eat more so maybe they would outcompete the goldslfish#also they eat the baby goldfish so maybe not :(#they should crossbreed tho#i think#so maybe i'll just grt one or two koi and see what happens#anywayyy#they're so pretty and peaceful to watch 😌#my only complaint is its a bit of a hike to the pond#either like five minutes down a suuuuper steep hill or twice as long walking around the hill and back up by the road which is less steep#also you cant really see the pond from the house bc its far away and surrounded by dense brush#alas#these are good problems to have tho#and for safety reasons its good actually that the pond is far from the house and a bit annoying to get to#bc little kids could def have a terrible accident if it was just in the yard or something#bc its really deep#im not the best w these emojis but i wanted to make something cute
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The Oath an older sister takes is on par with that of a Paladins, and sometimes upheld with the very same ferocity…
#jrwi fanart#jrwi riptide#jrwi show#gillion tidestrider#edyn tidestrider#OKAY I WONT RAMBLE HERE AS MUCH AS LAST TIME BUT RAAHHH IM RLY PROUD O THIS PAGE. it was rottin in my wips for so long#but now its DONE!!(as much as im willing it to be) i rly like my colors! i looove playin with colors :3c#seeing everyones nice words on my last post also made me SOOO HAPPY it motivated me to create MORE!!!!#SO HERE HERE more edyn n gillion bc they make me EMOTIONAL!! i work with lil kids as my job too and im also an older sister so#i might be projecting a liiittle bit. okay to be fair i project onto gillion ALOT!! i didnt do well in school and adults are mean somtimes:#i hope we find out whats going on with edyn soon... whole heartedly trust her tho. she has gillions best interests in mind!#ive been rotatin the thought of her assassinating the elders in my brain for SO LONG!! i just need edyn to KILL to protect gillion ouuhhh#hope she comes back with like a giant sword or a cool gun#RAMBLE ABT UR FEELINGS IN THE TAGS BTW#I READ IT ALL N IT MAKES ME SO SO SO HAPPY. YOU GOTTA.
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I'm rewatching water 7 and ennies lobby and oh my God. Both Franky and Robin are super fucked up in water 7, but the each have a moment in ennies lobby where everything makes sense and they start behaving like somewhat normal adults. This happens after they've met each other and realized they were in the same boat and are somehow almost the same level of fucked up. Not to mention, it's the first time Robin openes up to anyone- let alone someone who is similar and has similar circumstances.
Anyway all I can think about is Frobin. They are everything to me. And they make so much sense. They both have autistism lmao .
Things that are not often looked at in future arcs that are really highlighted here include: Franky's anger management issues, Robins propensity to skip people's feelings for "a more logical solution", and of course both of their traumas influencing their decisions (based off of how people in their past got treated). Later both are more used for action and jokes. Franky being super 'super' and Robin being morbid. Give me more content with them that isn't flat!!!!!!
This arc is truly amazing, and honestly nothing in post time skip had gotten to this point yet. I hope it does, because it's really beautiful the way Oda highlights how trauma never leaves you. How unless you get help, or can get help, things won't change.
Idk this was a message that really struck with me. I really loved the idea that no matter who you are and what you've done, if you want to overcome adversity your have to trust other people. And I know that's a common theme in every arc, but it's one of the best in this one imo.
#one piece#one piece thoughts#one piece rewatch#ennies lobby#water 7#one piece franky#one piece robin#nico robin#frobin#franky x robin#cutty flam#i feel weird tagging that tho as it's literally how dead name#but i want this to reach everyone after i saw someone talk about on water 7#like you just don't understand#since almost everyone is a teenager or really young adult it's nice to see older adults deal with the same issues#also it's about time people put respect behind frankys#he is a joke however he's also a complex character who doesn't get enough screen time or delving into#i love him so much okay#one piece anime#one piece analysis#mine
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Finally watched tadc ep 4 and ;_;
Gangle……..
(Spoiler talk in the tags)
#I want to hug her and draw with her#she just wanted to follow her passions and be herself nd instead has to juuust… hide behind masks#but her comedy mask did come back. kinda. on its own. and that’s a really important message/bit of symbolism I think#I really love all the little bits of characterization we got here and there#Pomni stepping up even though it’s not super fun and trying to work with everyone for the better#(also the gummigoo bit was RUDE AS HELL)#seeing ragatha let loose some and see that she’s… not really super nice and good all the time#she acts that way bc she wants to diffuse the situations. ‘I hate you but I don’t want you to hate me’#‘I love [ragatha] but it gets hard to tell when she’s being genuine’#it sheds a new light on her character and I’m eager to see how it shakes out when we get more eps#especially hers!!!#and Jax NOT being an asshole was so ?????? he can do that??? bro what?????? fascinating. show me ur layers bunny boy#why are u being nice? is it bc u got tired out? is it bc Pomni seems like she genuinely cares for all of them and he wanted in on it?#or does he actually care under all that jerk face dickery :squints:#AND THEN ZOOBLE MY ANGEL#THEY DID THEIR BEST AND EVEN THO THEY DIDNT HAVE FUN THEY TRIED TO KEEP EVERYONE SAFE AND INCLUDED#and the bit with the spatula hand killed me hfjdjdjdj they’re trying so hard :’)#god I love zooble#also can we talk abt the ‘giving away pieces of yourself’ thing. how vulnerable that was???#but only to gangle. only her.#those two have a friendship I really love and I’m so glad we got to see more depth to it this ep#also kinger getting to rodeo was hilarious as was Caine n bubble sharing a tongue AND the glitches HFJJDKDK#also also ONE MORE THING. ragatha horse girl and lesbian moment is so funny help me#arty escapades
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Fanart List by a Shy Mermaid?
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SO, I have a small list to all the OCs I want to draw/ honor bc ever since I joined the Syndicate Fandom (for real), many artists and writters have inspired me to create and develop my own OC (Solange Cotoner) along with her ship with Jacob. It may sound silly, and even a bit stupid, since I don't know many of you guys, but I feel really grateful to follow your work and see your passion with that (sort of) circus that is Syndicate and our chaotic victorian twins 🥹.
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So... The OCs mentioned and their respective creators:
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Amelia Silverstone by @corvus-the-trickster (Currently in W.I.P Stage)
Celine Rose Kenway by https://www.instagram.com/__we.are.assassins__?igsh=ODRwZzMzYWRmdDhm
Dorothea Marianne Starrick by @nemo-of-house-hamartia / @nemo-in-wonderland
Eden by @thefangirlthatwaited
Elizabeth "Lizzie" Boone by @onewhoturns
Elizabeth W. Hulbert by @lydiafrye
Gwendolyn Emily Mortimer by @mattness
Helena Cutler by https://www.deviantart.com/azulann/art/Assassins-Creed-Syndicate-Helena-585088486
Kora Hart by https://www.deviantart.com/misspr0npieartz/art/Kora-Hart-AS-S-OC-811944940
Madeline Shrike by @maddieautobot273
Magnolia Benson by @thatcrazycrowgirl (Still on W.I.P Stage)
Mattie by @mazikomo
Rebekah by @b3k1720
Victoria Reid by https://www.instagram.com/syntia_blackbird?igsh=a3BrMDVsdTlibnhp
Sarah Caellum by @its-sarah-bridget
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Again, I'm so sorry for tagging all of you on this, but I really wanted to do a gesture to the people that inspired me, even if they had no idea... And sorry for my over enthusiasm, I don't mean to scare you all or smth. 🥹🥲
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(PS: I'm waiting for @navis18 to introduce her girl so I can add her to the list of cool OCs I wanna draw🧜🏽♀️🫵🏽)
#assassin's creed#assassin's creed: syndicate#assassin's creed syndicate oc#assassin's creed oc#Art List#Fanart List#Aiza Thingies#I have a list for all the people I want to draw for even in the other Fandoms like StS and WD#Tho WD Fandom is small af 😭 I need to get that list to grow fr#The StS Fandom... is something alright#Amyways sorry if I look creepy#I'm just very excited to know and see so many cool OCs and everyone seems so chill and nice here#I just really admired you guys#Sorry for any inconvinient 🥹🥲#AAAAAAAAAA#Hides under a shell#Pathetic Mermaid Aiza moment#Also tagging your accounts so people can check your stuff out!! I really#Really like it!! your works ( AC related or not) are so well-done and full of love! 🫶🏽🩵#Def recommend 🫵🏽
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Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!
You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!
You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!
You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!
Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!
Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!
So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.
Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!
You need to show the world that you KNOW you are bad by punishing yourself constantly! After all, think of all the people who BENEFIT from you punishing yourself! - No, really! Think about it! Think about who benefits from your pain.
Think of alllllll the definitely-good people that your definitely-necessary self-torment definitely helps! I mean, you can't just cut off their definitely-life-sustaining supply of your suffering, right?? Sure, everyone else has a breaking point, but you're probably the only person in human history who doesn't, right? Best not to question it probably. Sure, it's a symptom that billions of people with trauma have had, but who knows? You could be a one-in-seven-billion exception. Anything's possible!
Instead, better just accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues deserve to suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you until you drop. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.
Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.
Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*
Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...
Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.
Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.
Better not get confident.
Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)
Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people
- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties
- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations
- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you
- you might start loving the effect you have on a room
- you might enjoy conversations more
- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently
- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations
- you might stop apologizing so much.
- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.
Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!
Why, it would be carnage!!
In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things if you're not careful!
If you start giving yourself even the tiniest amount of grace at a time, you will find that you've accessed a gateway drug with extreme long-term side effects:
- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.
- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.
- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.
- You might come to know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.
You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.
So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to start granting your awkward self free pardons for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.
#social skills#i have a few posts now in my ' social skills' tag#original#maybe eventually I will compile them and polish them in some meaningful way. I know what I want to call the book title#in big text it'll say 'I'M AUTISTIC' and then beneath that in smaller text 'And I Have Better Social Skills Than You'#or something to that effect. and the cover of the book will be me making an exaggerated smug face like the little rascal I am#challenging the viewer to pick up the book and see if they can prove me wrong.#and then the entire first section of the book is about how actually the issue with our society's social skills is the harsh judgment#for people who have trouble communicating and not the other way around. I don't actually think I'm the#most charismatic person in the world by a very long shot. but i do know that I have put more thought into my social skills than#most allistic people and frankly i have surpassed most of them. not because i am more persuasive or smooth or funny#(tho i am persuasive and funny lol) but bc i have questioned which social functions are more restriction than utility.#and instead i have focused my energy on actively learning how to make people feel safe. i feel social rules would benefit all people by#being a little more autistic tyvm. i don't think every person should dedicate themselves to being better at communicating#i think people should dedicate themselves to being kind and patient to everyone regardless of their ability to communicate#I think our society wrongly links communication ability to intelligence and intelligence to level of humanity.#when in fact all three of those things are fucking unrelated and connecting them inevitably leads to#really fucked up views on disabled people that hurt us. and then with that aspect of the book firmly understood and established I would#go on to recommend some ways to make socializing easier and more fulfilling (and less shameful and terrifying) for all kinds of people#it wouldn't be a book about Leaning In To Succeed in Business or 'here's how to avoid being the awkward loner at a party'#it'd be a book about how if you see someone alone at a party here's how to invite them to join your group without pressuring them#stuff like 'hot tip! if someone takes a while to type or speak a full sentence - talking over them b4 they can finish makes u an asshole!'#I know that a lot of people cannot or don't want to dump a lot of skill points into socializing like i did and they shouldn't have to in#order to experience basic dignity and respect. if we treat people like that then we just validate that people - especially#autistic children and elders and disabled people of manu varieties - have to suffer unless they learn all these arbitrary bullshit rules#and a lot of them are arbitrary bullshit! one of the reasons I throw people off so much is because I harmlessly break a lot of social rules#but I know I'm doing it and I'm not ashamed and people just don't know what to do with that! but a lot of them like it actually!!#i think it's a relief to be around someone so openly and unrelentingly weird bc what am I gonna do? judge you for being weird??#I only care if you're kind. not necessarily 'nice' or passive. Kind. Brave enough to care about people being treated well. Kind.#also I recognize that at least some of my ability to be openly weird is white privilege so that's important to acknowledge too
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