#the he xuan too.. other two can go fuck off for all i care

[dizzybizz]

😀 i love setting out to draw 1 character multiple times but ending up drawing multiple characters 1 time instead 😀 i love it so much 😀

[veliseraptor]

Top 5 fucked up siblings

worried that i always answer this one with the same five, because i'm p sure i've answered this before. but oh well here goes

1. Richard & Lymond (Lymond Chronicles). Somebody just posted an excerpt about them on my dash recently and got me thinking about them again. I love how pretty much every book has Lymond dragging Richard on a rollercoaster of emotion but The Game of Kings remains prime territory in that regard. Just Lymond inflicting emotional terrorism on his older brother. They're not quite as codependent as pretty much everyone else on this list (but that's a high bar); still fucked up. Lymond running away from Richard for a solid few years because a prophecy convinced him that their reuniting would kill Richard is another highlight.

2. Felix & Mildmay (Doctrine of Labyrinths). Speaking of codependent! I feel like the fact that I also put these two on the "fucked up but soft" list speaks for itself here, and also I feel like one could somewhat reasonably pitch Doctrine of Labyrinths as "fucked up siblings in secondary world fantasy: the series." it wouldn't be very informative but it would be accurate.

3. Jiang Cheng & Jiang Yanli & Wei Wuxian (MDZS/The Untamed). And I say again: speaking of codependent! I know Wei Wuxian is not actually "sibling" yes but the weird in-between role he takes is also part of what makes this dynamic so good. And what I love about these three is that you look at them together and you're like "awww they're so cute it's so tragic how they fall apart" and then you scratch a little and you're like "oh no. oh dear. you guys are a mess and your relationship dynamics are a disaster that ain't good" and then you scratch a little more and go "awww. they're so cute in their incredibly messed up codependence triangle" again. they're so tangled up in each other in this messy cobbled together structure, and none of them can walk away from each other, not really. not outside of death, certainly, and not really even then.

love that for them.

4. Ianthe & Coronabeth. Hope we get more of these two in Alecto. I support women's wrongs. Can't wait to see what happens here because I suspect it will be (a) not good and (b) fun to watch.

5. Shi Qingxuan & Shi Wudu. I wavered for a while on this one, thought about going for my old Thor and Loki standby, but decided since I feel like I've talked less about these two...I just find their relationship fascinating. Shi Wudu's overbearing paternalistic attitude toward Shi Qingxuan, particularly toward her favor of her female form but also just in general his...base assumption that he knows what's best for her and is just making sure she's taken care of. All the way down to stealing and swapping fates, which he specifically, deliberately, keeps Shi Qingxuan from knowing about. Which makes sense! because when Shi Qingxuan - fair-minded Shi Qingxuan who was so adamant about Pei Su getting a trial and not getting off lightly just because he's Pei Ming's protege - finds out what happened, she immediately rejects it. She's desperate to throw away her godhood, actively fighting her brother's attempts to "help." She's disgusted by the knowledge of how she ascended.

I figure Shi Wudu would've had some sense of how Shi Qingxuan would feel about it, but he needed to save his baby brother's life and he overturned the world to do so. Which would be sweet and touching in a world where it didn't come so horribly at the expense of someone else's life - but of course it had to.

And at the same time, for all Shi Qingxuan rolls her eyes and expresses exasperation and frustration with her brother and his behavior, she also doesn't hesitate to go to him when he's in need. Or, well, she does hesitate, but ultimately she can't stand back. For all her anger with him for what he's done, and in her name, she still loves him so much, and tries so, so hard to save him, to save them both.

And the fact, too, that Shi Wudu actively provokes He Xuan into ripping his head off rather than choose an option that will cause Shi Qingxuan inevitable suffering (though what he thought would happen afterward, I don't know)...yikes, dude, but also I'm kinda impressed.

I would not necessarily say that I like Shi Wudu most of the time. But I do find him, and the way he interacts with Shi Qingxuan in particular, very interesting. And I love thinking about how Shi Qingxuan wrestles with his death post-canon. (I wonder if Shi Qingxuan feels like she's responsible for both Scholar He's death and her brother's.)

[pathfinders-rp]

More passionate groans began flowing off the green eyed man's lips, the moment Babe's hand latched like that into that rich mane of black hair of his, those sounds filling the room up with a symphony of both love and skin on skin sounds as Xuan thrusted harder, rougher, yet passionately into his man. Xuan liked this a lot, having his hair pulled at like that. It turned him on a decent amount, and even more so when Babe bit into his collarbone like that. "B-Baby Babe..!~" Xuan exclaimed, eyes closed in an expression of bliss and lips curled into a delighted smile. He enjoyed when the race driver did this, marking him so that everyone would know just who Xuan belonged to. It only made Xuan crave more of these love hickeys, to be covered all over by his beloved's signature of love. "Mmm... M-More... Mark me more, baby...~ I want the whole world to know that I am happily taken!~" And to emphasize just how serious he was about this, Xuan's hands slipped off of Babe's hips and onto his deliciously perfect ass cheeks, in order to get a better hold of him. It was incredible how perfectly Babe's ass fit into the palm of his hands, like two puzzle pieces that were made for each other. And as he got a good enough hold of Babe's ass, Xuan squeezed it playfully and pulled Babe harder into his rock hard shaft. "Mmngh... Do you feel it, baby? Can you feel what you're doing to me? Just how crazy you make me go for you?~" He opened his eyes just enough so he could peer with his emerald green eyes at Babe's gorgeous reactions, the smile now replaced by a sensual grin, just as he pushed harder and hit Babe's G-spot spot on.

"Fuck, Xuan!" Babe nearly screamed the words against Xuan's neck, pressing almost his entire body down on top of his boyfriend's, both hands gripping his hair now. He took a second or two to take a breath, then kept his chest pressed against Xuan's, only lifting his hips, pushing his ass further into Xuan's hands, his body trembling with pleasure. He was a mess, sweaty, sticky with pre-cum, panting heavily and moaning loudly, but he had never felt better or more beautiful than when Xuan looked up and grinned at him like that, making Babe's cock twitch almost painfully. But he wasn't going to ignore Xuan's request -or was it a demand?-, and while earlier he paid attention to only leave marks that were easy to cover, he didn't care anymore. He gave Xuan marks and hickeys everywhere, all over his neck, just under his jaw, along his collarbone, then over his shoulder too, biting into the soft skin there, almost strong enough to draw blood. He was squirming, pushing back onto Xuan's cock harder than he thought was physically possible, so eager and so damn needy and... "Xuan, please!" He moeaned, gasping at the intense pleasure that hit him. "Oh fuck, yes! I can, I do! I can feel every inch of what I did to you." He breathed out, sucking another hickey onto Xuan's shoulder, while moving back and forth at a rushed rhythm, a clear sign of his impatience. Everything felt intense beyond words, and he only managed to hold eye contact with Xuan for a few seconds while he simply said "More!", more of a demand than a request. Then his eyes fluttered closed again, his mouth slipped down to Xuan's chest, where he began sucking and biting. He was so damn close, and yet nothing was enough, part of him wished they could go on forever.

[jingyismom]

Thanks everyone for the prompts! I decided to try and knock these all out in one go:

@thegirlwhotrashcans: remember, you asked for it. au, nobody dies, wwx and yanli bodyswap. they're married to lwj and jzx. 100% crack. bonus points if jin zixuan completely loses his shit and lwj looks very calm but loses his sh*t after everything is back to normal

@alightbuthappypen: Competency kink! One or both of them (when I say 'them' I mean wangxian obvs, I know what I'm about) getting hot and bothered about the other being amazing. On a nighthunt maybe? Or anywhere else that strikes your fancy!

@hearteyeswangji: WRITE MORE P*RN

I think I can manage that. With a few tweaks, accidental seriousness, and broad, ridiculous fix-its tacked on. I have no idea how long this might be. Let’s try it in installments? I’ll reblog and add on as I go. Maybe it’ll be fun. We’ll find out.

Disclaimer that this is just gonna go for it with no revising and no beta readers, so pls do not hold me to any conceivable standard of coherency thx

--

WILL INCLUDE: wangxian, xuanli, let jyl and lwj be friends agenda, canon divergence, fix-it, everybody lives, arranged marriage, bodyswap, light angst, getting together, Attempts at Comedy, eventual (light?) wangxian smut

The Sunshot Campaign has just been won. Everyone goes over to Jin Guangshan’s house after the Nightless City banquet, to Negotiate Stuff, and some hasty political marriages happen resulting in Xuanli Wedded Bliss and Wangxian Un-confessed Wedded Tension. Then, suddenly...a curse befalls our brave heroes.

--

Wei Wuxian wakes suddenly, feeling odd. He’s sleeping on his stomach for one thing, which is not his usual, but he feels warm and comfortable enough that he doesn’t think it strange. But then there is the scent of peonies and gardenias, which is both familiar and alien, somehow. It makes him open his eyes. 

Which is when he sees the hand before him on the bolster. It is slender and elegant. Small. Pale. Familiar? Wearing a jade bangle. He pushes himself up a bit, startled, only to see the hand move when he does. 

The hand. Is his hand. He stares at it. The shock of it, coupled with the early hour, leave his mind working very slowly.

At length, he becomes aware of an odd weight across his back, which then shifts. Wei Wuxian turns.

He is met with the sleepy, moon-eyed stare of one Jin Zixuan, still cradling him in his arms.

“What the fuck,” says Wei Wuxian. His voice is. Soft. And high.

He would think this was all some messed-up dream if not for the fact that his dreams of late have all been messed up in an entirely different way. He’s also certain, in an odd, detached way, that he never would have imagined the battle scars that mar Jin Zixuan’s distressingly visible skin.

Jin Zixuan’s brow furrows, and he blinks. “A-Li?”

“...What the fuck.”

~~~

When Lan Wangji wakes at his customary hour, he is just slightly more tired than usual. The coverlet over him is oddly heavy, but he does not give it any thought until light from the rising sun slips over an unfamiliar sill and into his eyes. His entire body goes tense as he remembers. 

Jinlintai. The long hours of debate, of negotiation. The hasty marriages. 

He sits up in his strange bed and turns. There, in the bed opposite, is Wei Ying’s sleeping form. Close, yet still distant. Safe, at least.

Lan Wangji relaxes, and takes a breath. It was a near thing, keeping the sects from demanding more and more from Wei Ying, from treating him like a criminal instead of the hero he is. But somehow, Jiang Wanyin and Xiongzhang ended up on the same page, defending him, working tirelessly toward a compromise with the more critical parties. And now Lan Wangji has the dubious honor of ‘keeping Wei Ying in check,’ as Yao-zongzhu so inelegantly put it, through marriage. 

A strictly political marriage. A convenient solution. To bind them together, to keep Wei Ying tied under the umbrella of Lan Wangji’s rigid honor. 

It is unclear, as of yet, if Wei Ying resents this arrangement. He has not been himself since Nightless City, and the destruction of Wen Ruohan’s forces. First his long coma, then a lingering tiredness that he has not seemed able to shake, which dampens his normally-vivid expressions of feeling.

Lan Wangji is worried. But this, at least, Wei Ying has made clear is unwelcome. He seems to want to pretend that nothing has changed. Not about himself, and not between the two of them. Lan Wangji has done his best to honor his wishes, despite everything.

Now, he rises and dresses before sinking into his morning meditation. It is still strange to do so fully dressed, weighed down by the propriety required for the public, but it has felt necessary, now that Wei Ying shares chambers with him. A physical manifestation of the barrier between them, more important than ever now that they are, bizarrely, married. 

Before his meditation is finished, he hears Wei Ying stir. It is unusual for him to wake so early. Lan Wangji’s eyes snap open, immediately searching him for signs of pain.

Wei Wuxian turns over, then goes very still. He sits bolt upright, searching the bed with wild eyes, then turns them on the room at large. When they land on Lan Wangji, he curls in on himself, the fingers of one hand tightening at the collars of his sleeping robe, clutching it closed.

“La—Lan-er-gongzi?” 

His voice is oddly breathy, and his eyes...they are wide with confusion, with just the slightest tinge of fear. Lan Wangji is struck nearly senseless by the term of address, aberrant in Wei Ying’s mouth.

“What is wrong?”

Searching the room again, Wei Wuxian moves toward the edge of the bed with a strangely graceful modesty. It looks alien on his long limbs. “My...my husband. Where…?”

The word jolts through Lan Wangji’s entire body. He has never heard Wei Ying say it before. He has...wanted to hear it. Dearly, he realizes suddenly. But it sounds wrong. Distressed. Everything Wei Ying says sounds wrong.

“Wei Ying,” he says. 

Wei Ying’s eyes snap to his. “A-Xian? Where is he? Is he with A-Xuan? Are they alright?”

Lan Wangji blinks at him, uncomprehending, for several seconds. Then he begins to understand.

“You are not—”

The doors to their chambers burst open, and Jiang Yanli rushes in. The tasteful purple and gold robes she has adopted in the few days since the weddings are loose, uncharacteristically askew—not impreprietous, but verging on it. She spots Lan Wangji and her stormy expression clears.

“Lan Zhan,” she says, and her shoulders droop. 

Lan Wangji blinks at her, thrown by her use of this name, then glances at Wei Ying, who has gone completely still, his mouth open in a small, shocked ‘o.’ Jiang Yanli follows his gaze and freezes.

Just then, Jin Zixuan comes barreling into the room, significantly more unkempt than his wife. He has not even tied back his hair. 

“A-Li,” he implores, “what’s happened? We can’t just go barging into our guests’,” he pauses, and bows awkwardly, hastily, to Lan Wangji and Wei Ying in turn, “rooms like this. Please,” he takes her arm, but she shakes him off. 

She’s still staring at Wei Ying. “Sh...Shijie?”

Wei Ying startles, and looks down at himself. He holds out his arms, his hands, and looks at those too. Then he looks up at Jiang Yanli. “A-Xian?”

“Shijie,” Jiang Yanli says, and slumps over to the bed, embracing Wei Ying.

“A-Li,” hisses Jin Zixuan, scandalized. 

Lan Wangji glances at Jin Zixuan’s wife embracing his own husband on the bed, and rises. He walks briskly past them all to shut the door. Then he returns. 

“Wei Ying,” he says again. Jiang Yanli looks up at him.

It is obvious, now that he has realized it. Her face, animated by his personality. The soft warmth of her eyes sharpened just so. The deliberately graceless way she threw herself—himself—into Wei Ying’s—no, Jiang Yanli’s—arms.

Lan Wangji takes a deep breath. “Is this a curse?”

“Yes,” Wei Ying says with Jiang Yanli’s face, but his own certainty.

“How can we break it?” Lan Wangji asks.

“I”m not sure, not yet. I need to try a few things—or—having the original curse would be safer.” He looks at his sister in his own body. “I...don’t really want to experiment with this.”

Jiang Yanli tsks and bumps his shoulder a little too forcefully, jostling Wei Ying in her currently slight form. “Vain,” she says, teasing.

“Shijieee,” he whines. It sounds bizarre in Jiang Yanli’s voice. “I don’t want to accidentally hurt you.”

“I know,” Jiang Yanli says, soothing. 

“Do you feel alright?” Wei Ying goes on, urgent.

“Perfectly alright, now that you’re both here,” she says, smiling at the newcomers in turn.

Something sharply acidic surges in Lan Wangji’s stomach at such a look on Wei Ying’s face, directed at...Jin Zixuan.

“Really, though,” Wei Ying presses, “any nausea? Dizziness? Pain? You’re not worried?”

“Not at all. Our A-Xian will figure it out.”

Lan Wangji watches as the appearance of Wei Ying’s knuckle affectionately brushes Jiang Yanli’s nose. 

Strange. It is all...so strange.

“If—”

“What is happening?” Jin Zixuan interrupts.

All three of them look at him. He stares between them, wild-eyed and desperately askew. Lan Wangji has never considered him to be particularly slow on the uptake, but he supposes allowances must be made for the stress of waking up with a stranger in one’s bed.

He does not care to investigate the perverse pang of jealousy he feels at the thought.

“A-Xuan, it’s me,” Jiang Yanli says. Jin Zixuan stares at her in Wei Ying’s body, uncomprehending. She goes on slowly, but not unkindly. “A-Xian and I have been cursed into each other’s bodies. He’s in there, and I’m in here.”

Her husband blinks several times, very quickly. Lan Wangji recognizes the moment it sinks in by the deep flush that rises across his entire face, and is certain he does not wish to know what precisely inspired it. 

Jin Zixuan takes an involuntary half-step back, then forward again, as he speaks with renewed urgency. “Why has this happened? Can it be undone?”

“Great questions,” Wei Ying says, falsely encouraging. Lan Wangji exchanges a glance with him, and it almost feels natural, to share such a thing with either Wei Ying or Jiang Yanli. “Someone was clearly either targeting me—that’s Wei Wuxian, that’s me, in here—or you...whom you know to be Jin Zixuan. I hope.”

Jin Zixuan turns a deeper shade of red. “Obviously,” he bites out. “But why?”

Wei Ying rolls his eyes dramatically. It is not something Lan Wangji ever imagined Jiang Yanli doing.

“We don’t know yet, but we will once we find and question the person responsible,” Wei Ying says. Jiang Yanli grips his arm suddenly. Wei Ying looks at her. “And yes, it can be undone. Of course it can. I’ll figure it out.”

“Cast a rebound,” Lan Wangji says, brisk. The more quickly they are done with this, the better.

Wei Ying’s face falls. “Ah,” he says, “well, we…”

“My cultivation is too weak for him to reliably use,” Jiang Yanli says suddenly. “And I’m not very good at the method, I’m afraid.”

Lan Wangji nods. Steps forward. Then hesitates. “If the curse was cast in such a way, one of you may end up in the caster’s body. And they in yours.”

They all look at Jiang Yanli. Her expression grows grim. “Alright,” she says, then looks to Lan Wangji. There is something steely in her expression that is familiar on Wei Ying’s face. “Thank you for the warning. Go ahead.”

Lan Wangji hesitates only a moment longer, expecting protests from the other two. But Wei Ying is wearing a small, knowing smile, and Jin Zixuan merely nods at her, reassuring. Lan Wangji senses his esteem for the Jin heir rising at such solid trust in his wife. 

He steps forward and casts the rebound. They all hold their breath. 

Wei Ying glances around, his wry expression entirely foreign on Jiang Yanli’s face. “Anything?”

“No,” says Jiang Yanli.

Wei Ying sighs. “More work for us, then.”

“A-Xian,” Jiang Yanli says, taking gentle hold of his wrist. “You know what this means.”

“Ah?”

“You’ll have to be me.”

“Ah. No, I—”

“A-Xian.”

Wei Ying scratches his head, a not-at-all ladylike gesture. “Or we could just stay in here and let these two investigate?”

The smile Jiang Yanli turns on him is tender, and knowing, and indulgent. “I’d like to see you try to sit still when there’s a puzzle to solve.”

He sighs. “Alright. But you have to be me, too.”

She nods, and theatrically slouches into a sprawling, sloppy posture. Wei Ying laughs, his head thrown back, a hand on his stomach. Jin Zixuan turns around, looking almost ill. 

Lan Wangji understands, and he doesn’t. It is dizzying, and distinctly wrong-looking, to see both of them this way. Yet there is also something endearing about it. About the parts of them that do overlap, and fit into each other better than one would expect. 

“A-Xuan,” Jiang Yanli calls softly, noticing her husband’s distress.

Lan Wangji gets the distinct impression that that tone in Wei Ying’s voice is not helping the situation.

“Jin-gongzi,” he says. “It would be best for all of us to go about our days as normal, and not to arouse suspicion. Wei Ying sleeps late, and will not be missed for the morning. Jin-shao-furen may claim mild illness until the afternoon. But you and I must behave as normal. There are still the other sects to host.”

“Yes,” Jin Zixuan says absently. He runs a hand over his face. “Yes. You’re right. A-Li—” he turns and looks at the pair of them on the bed, and pauses. He shakes his head as if to clear it. “I’ll go back and dress. Join me when—or—Wei—” he stops. “I will be attending my duties. Please let me know what else I can do.”

“Remember to act natural,” Jiang Yanli says. “When A-Xian joins you later, try to look less like a roasted tomato, hmm?”

Jin Zixuan’s mouth twists into a wry smile, and he nods at the floor, then flees the room. Jiang Yanli and Wei Ying turn their eyes to Lan Wangji.

“I shall also depart,” he says. He circles his arms to bow to Jiang Yanli, but Wei Ying stands and pulls him over toward the door. Lan Wangji lets him, and tries not to pull away from the improprietous touch from a married lady. 

“Lan Zhan,” he says, hushed and urgent. “I’m not...you don’t think I’m hurting her, am I? Just by being in here? Can you sense any resentment?”

Lan Wangji feels something tighten in his chest. Wei Ying has not let Lan Wangji so much as examine his pulse since he roused from his coma, but the idea that he is so constantly steeped in resentment as to cause worry that his very soul may be harmful...is distressing. He takes hold of his slender wrist carefully. It is still Jiang Yanli’s body, and he will treat it with the respect it is owed. 

“I cannot,” he says. The only energy in Jiang Yanli’s body is generated by her own small but steady golden core. “I sense nothing that may be harmful.”

Wei Ying lets out a relieved breath. “Alright. But, um. What about the other way? Is her...is my body harming her?”

Lan Wangji turns to go back and perform the same examination, but Wei Ying stops him. “No, that’s alright. I’ll. We’ll just get this over with, and we can. Between the two of us, we can fix whatever...whatever damage I do.”

Lan Wangji stares at him, but Wei Ying refuses to meet his eyes. At length, he nods. “We can.”

“Alright. Ah, thanks. You should go.”

Lan Wangji goes.

[vodkassassin]

Inspired by your Jiuplane fic, Everyone loves SQH series and Nighthaunting's work.

Shen Jiu has never actually spared much attention to An Ding. While he doesn't consider them less-his past would never allow himself to look at anyone being derided for doing 'servant duties' less- he also doesn't pay much attention to them. Ever since Shang Qinghua modified the teleportation talismans for transporting large amounts of goods between the Peaks, An Ding disciples have all but disappeared from view. Shen Qingqiu occasionally saw a groundskeeper or a cook return back to An Ding but that was about it. He was pretty sure that people outside the sect saw more of the Logistics Peak than the people in it. And during meetings Shang Qinghua barely makes a sound, just records whatever was he was supposed to and just vanish off to his peak the minute the meeting inevitably ended in chaos. It was like An Ding never existed.......in hindsight, that should have been suspicious. But Shen Qingqiu never even noticed glaring absence and he would forever berate himself for that. It happened quite unexpectedly. Shen Qingqiu was supposed to go on mission with Qi Qingqi, the only Peak Lord he could tolerate beyond a certain period of time but Xuan Shu Peak suddenly had an emergency that she had to take care. Mu Qingfang was busy with preparing the Baying Moon Jade Orchid that he had been given (Really that should've tipped him off! Those flowers were ludicrously expensive because they only grow in the Demon Realm and Mu Qingfang had been given an entire crate of them along with his monthly supplies!), and the only other Peak Lords available were Liu Qingqe and Shang Qinghua. The choice was obvious.

The mission was relatively simple. Wan Jian disciples had been sent as a response to a request for assistance from a cluster of villages deep in a mountain valley. The disciples had found evidence of a large monster but it seemed to be intelligent and the presence of cultivators had run it off to a cave system. By the trails it left and it's actions, the lead disciple had judged it too dangerous for normal disciples, especially in the enclosed spaces of a cave system and had reported to his Peak Lord. The mission thus had been entered into the Peak Lords' roster. It should have been routine, should have been simple. But Shen Qingqiu had the world's worst luck and so everything turned sideways within ten minutes of them entering the cave.

First of all, the monster seemed to have destabilized the cave so they got caved in. Secondly, it wasn't a monster at all but a demonic beast, a Thousand Screams of Ruin Swan, a rabid thing that was created when someone forcibly corrupted a Thousand Screams Swan with too much demonic qi. And finally, the beasts absolutely hated each other. A Thousand Screams Swan had the ability to gauge the truth and a lie in its presence would not only prompt the most ear piercing of all screeches but also destabilizes the qi of the liar in particular and produce unimaginable pain. The southern demon courts use the swan in interrogations, putting the accused and the swan in enclosed spaces and the interrogators questioning from behind a sound muffling seal. However if the swan were overloaded with too much malicious qi, it would grow to enormous sizes and it's screech would actually cause death to anyone in the vicinity. In this state it was called a Thousand Screams of Ruin Swan. So after every interrogation the beast is taken for purification. The question is how a pair of valuable demonic beasts from the Southern Demon courts end up in a remote village far away from the borderlands?

If it was any other situation, Shen Qingqiu would've been fascinated. But as it was he had no time to dawdle. The confined space of the caves meant that the screeches of the swan would be magnified in intensity and their muffling shields were already cracking under the pressure of the sound waves. If they did, they would be dead as their qi system would be destabilized enough to cause a painful death. Shen Qingqiu, with his already unstable qi was extremely vulnerable in this situation. With Shang Qinghua having no combat ability to think of, they were completely under the mercy of two rabid S-rank demonic beasts who hated them and each other.

Then the shields cracked. Shen Qingqiu barely had time to close off his hearing using qi before Shang Qinghua disappeared into one of the caves with a beast after him. On one hand Shen Qingqiu now had to worry about only one Thousand Scream of Ruin Swan. On the other hand, no hearing was a double edged sword in a situation like this and there was no back up, negligible as it would have been. But he marshalled his focus and unsheathed Xiu Ya. If that overgrown bird thought that the Qing Jing Peak Lord was going down without a fight, it was wrong.

Two hours later the fight was still going on. His head was hurting only from being flung into the stone walls of the cave but also from sealing off his hearing for so long. The Beast's rampage had destroyed one of the cave walls and they had both fallen into a lake within the cave system. Shen Qingqiu had somehow managed to pull himself out of the water, not being stupid enough to fight a water fowl in water. He was exhausted, looked like a wet rag and was bleeding. There was no sign of Shang Qinghua and that either meant he was dead or that Shen Qingqiu was so far off from the main caves that he wouldn't be found in time. While the former was more likely, he at least hoped that Shang Qinghua made it to the surface and called for help because as much as he hated to admit it, that brute Liu Qingqe and his brutish sword would be helpful at the moment. He was tiring and his core couldn't hold on any longer while the beast was all but brimming in energy. It lunged and the Peak Lord futilely brought up his sword, knowing it wouldn't do anything, realizing that this was the end of Shen Jiu, dead by a rabid bird in a fucking cave. And then...there was light.

Lightning, there was lightning in the cave, huge arcs of it racing towards the beast and striking it over and over, the lake water acting as a conductor and exacerbating the damage. And on a ledge, was a creature wearing Shang Qinghua. Because that couldn't be Shang Qinghua. Shang Qinghua was a mousy, nervous, skittish mess of a man. Non obtrusive, and a pushover. He was weak and had no combat abilities to speak of. He barely had a core....except that wasn't true was it? None of them had ever seen Shang Qinghua fight. None of them had ever felt the power of his core. Shang Qinghua always ran solo and the occasional company of his head disciple so none of them had been on a mission with him. In fact, none of them knew anything about Shang Qinghua. They just assumed that he was weak...because he was An Ding and acted like a coward. But now it was clear Shen Qingqiu that it was by design. It should have impossible to constantly keep up a facade like that but looking at the imperious creature watching on dispassionately at the Demonic Beast writhing in his lightning, Shen Qingqiu knew that the impossible had been done.

The creature that was Shang Qinghua jumped down from the ledge and made his way to Shen Qingqiu. He was clutching a Thousand Screams Swan now back to its original size. He was barefoot. His clothing was ripped in places. A large slit too clean to be from the beast ran up both his legs just shy of his hips revealing long legs adorned in gorgeous ink patterns climbing up them and disappearing up the torso. It was clear Shang Qinghua cut them up to increase mobility. The sleeves were also ripped, also covered with beautiful tattoos and the high collar of the robes were open showing off beautiful collar bones. His hair was left free and falling russet waves down his back to his knees and with each shift Shen Qingqiu could see a silver shine of what seems to be metal strings woven into it. He was... He was a vision.

Shang Qinghua was always covered. He wore high collar robes that never showed an inch of skin on his body. So seeing him with his legs and arms and his collar visible, it was obscene! Shen Qingqiu realized to horror that he was blushing. His entire face was burning! Shang Qinghua must have succubus blood in him! He must have! Shen Qingqiu is not the type to blush at every pretty face! He hoped to the gods that Shang Qinghua just think of his blushing face as a result of exertion.

As Shang Qinghua drew closer, Shen Qingqiu noticed something strange. Gauntlets. Silver gauntlets carved with seals. Two on the ankles, two on the wrists. And one collar on the neck. Hidden underneath high collar robes as they were, this was the first time Shen Qingqiu had ever seen them. At first they looked like enhancers and looking at the lightning still attacking the beast which seemed to be getting smaller and smaller, it seemed most likely. But Shen Qingqiu was done assuming things about Shang Qinghua. And he was right, because closer inspection revealed the seals to be limiters. Shen Qingqiu for the first time since he became a Peak Lord, was truly astonished. Limiter seals active on five points on the body and undoubtedly forming a restructure five point qi circuit and still manages to defeat two S class demonic beasts? Incredible. Shen Qingqiu wanted to know everything about him. He wanted to burrow underneath his skin. He has never wanted anything more.

After the Beast shrunk down somehow, Shang Qinghua retrieved it with a talisman that seemed to be some sort of Binding. He silently clutched the swans together and made his way to one of the caves, silently motioning for Shen Qingqiu to follow. As they made their way up the caves, Shen Qingqiu looked at his mysterious companion and told him what he was adamant about from the moment he saw the other bring down the wrath of the heavens,

"You can't hide from me anymore."

Shang Qinghua was silent. Then, like a whisper of silk on soft skin, he replied,

"I can try."

Shen Qingqiu smirked,

"Yes you can. But you won't succeed."

The Xiu Ya sword looked the two beasts the other was holding, two Thousand Screams Swans.

"Is Shang Lei even a real name? "

The other didn't answer and that was an answer in itself. Shen Qingqiu couldn't wait to have him.

Anon oh my god this is GORGEOUS!!! Thank you for feeding me, it was delicious!! Bamf SQH! Beautiful SQH! Badass, pretty, mysterious SQH!!!! Attractive as hell, an unattainable prospect!!!

@nighthaunting look look, it’s our writing child

[zintranslations]

Kaleidoscope of Death, Ch. 110

Kaleidoscope of Death by Xi Zixu Link to Chinese / Novel Updates

Chapter 110: Open This

Though the Hako Onna's position could change, the position of the items inside the chests could not. In other words, if somebody had already opened a chest and seen what was in it, then the next person did not have to waste a chance on the previously opened chest.

Opening the chests was dangerous, but there was potential profit in the danger. If they could find an item that could kill the Hako Onna or give her rest, or if it was the strongbox passcode or something like that, then the humans would gain the advantage.

After his speech, Sun Yuanzhou swept his gaze through the crowd, voice terrifyingly cold: "I know what you're all thinking. You want to pick up other people's leftovers, right? Zhu Meng, you've played the game before. Tell them, can Hako Onna enter chests that have already been opened?"

"Of course she can," Ruan Nanzhu answered evenly. "The chests close after opening, so Hako Onna can definitely move inside. For those who want to avoid danger, I recommend you don't try to play for leftovers. It’s better to starve."

"Hear that?" Sun Yuanzhou said. "Intel. That's what's most important right now—intel. Open boxes in groups of at least two. This way, if anything happens, there's someone to take the record."

Frankly put, this was so that should anyone open up a Hakobito or the Hako Onna, they wouldn't disappear without anyone knowing.

"That's right, didn't Xiao Ji open up a power called False Answers yesterday?" Ruan Nanzhu told everybody what they'd discovered earlier in order to prevent anybody else from getting tricked. "In the tabletop, this power meant that the player acting as Hako Onna could lie. But here, the power's changed accordingly—Hako Onna can hide in chests and sound like people you know. So if you hear any sounds, don't think that someone you know has been caught."

Sun Yuanzhou nodded his own understanding, and looked at the group.

"Any other questions?"

The people seated around the table began to whisper among themselves, discussing the information Ruan Nanzhu gave them and Sun Yuanzhou's suggestions.

"We're also not going to make you open any chests. If you think you can bear the hunger, then go on, starve." Sun Yuanzhou added one last option: "You can also wait until you're so hungry that you can't take it any longer, and open a chest then."

"I have a question." A young woman from the group stood up. Lin Qiushi remembered her name was Xuan Zihui. She pointed a finger at Ruan Nanzhu. "She's the one who's been telling us all this information. If she's lying to us, we have no way of knowing."

When he heard this, Sun Yuanzhou started to say something. But Ruan Nanzhu laughed, raising his chin and speaking with derision: "If you'd like, you don't have to believe me at all. I don't mind."

Sun Yuanzhou, "exactly." He was clearly taking Ruan Nanzhu's side against Xuan Zihui's suspicions. "If you can provide any other intel, nobody would mind."

Xuan Zihui wanted to add something else, but was stopped by a tug from someone beside her, indicating she should stop.

"If we were in another door, I might have something to gain from lying to you. But in this door, there's no profit to speak of from lying." Ruan Nanzhu wasn't even looking at Xuan Zihui, evidently disdainful of her doubts. "Increase the number of Hakobito, and you think I'll have an easier time beating this game?"

"The nature of this door is a bit special. We can set all of that aside for now. I think it's best we focus on the matter of opening the chests," someone spoke up as peacemaker.

Sun Yuanzhou fished out sticky notes from his bag and distributed them among those gathered. He warned everybody that if anyone managed to open up an item or one of Hako Onna's powers, then they had to talk. There could be no hiding.

People took the sticky notes with a rich range of expressions. Everybody clearly was taking their own measure of the situation.

After that everybody made a pact to exchange information every day at noon. They would trade discoveries from the day before and also check on the number of survivors.

When the meeting concluded, the group scattered.

"Do you think they'll open up any chests?" Lin Qiushi began discussing with Ruan Nanzhu. They had him to listen to chests. Compared to everybody else, they had a much wider margin of safety.

"No," Ruan Nanzhu said. "They're all sly old foxes keen on surviving. Nobody will open a chest today at least."

"Then we have to wait until morning?" Lin Qiushi understood Ruan Nanzhu's meaning. "Breakfast, right?"

Ruan Nanzhu smiled.

"Yeah. Though that's only one meal a day, you don't have to starve if you've got the one meal."

"Honestly, upon careful thought, this is not a bad method," Liang Miye sighed. She was talking about the door's restriction. After all, if it didn't force them to open up the chests, then these people could definitely hole up in this mansion for months.

She mumbled, "who doesn't want to get out as soon as possible though…"

That night, many people lost sleep. Perhaps it was due to hunger. Perhaps it was terror.

Lin Qiushi didn't manage to sleep well either. For most of the night, he stayed halfway in and out of dreams. Amidst the drowsiness, he suddenly felt Ruan Nanzhu climb into his bed.

"Nanzhu…" Lin Qiushi mumbled. "What is it?"

Ruan Nanzhu got up close to Lin Qiushi's ear and whispered, "Linlin, are you hungry at all?"

Lin Qiushi, "a bit…"

Who wouldn't be hungry after not eating all day? He was only hungry, however, not so starved that he couldn't stand it.

But he didn't expect that after he said this, Ruan Nanzhu would fish something out of his own pajama pocket. Lin Qiushi looked down and saw that it was a piece of chocolate.

"Half for you and half for me." Pinching the chocolate between his fingers, Ruan Nanzhu lightly snapped it apart. "It'll be our secret."

The corners of his eyes curved up, and Lin Qiushi thought his smile was very lovely.

"How much did you bring?" Lin Qiushi asked.

"Not much…" Ruan Nanzhu answered. He tore the wrapper off and brought the chocolate to Lin Qiushi's lips. "Go ahead, eat."

Before Lin Qiushi could say anything, he felt the chocolate push into his mouth. On reflex he gave Ruan Nanzhu's fingers a lick, and saw Ruan Nanzhu's pupils darken.

Ruan Nanzhu, "is it sweet?"

Lin Qiushi nodded.

Ruan Nanzhu got closer and lapped at his lips.

"It is sweet."

He didn't eat the other piece, but wrapped it back up and stuffed it into his pocket.

"How come you're not eating?" Lin Qiushi asked.

"I'm not hungry," Ruan Nanzhu said. "Sleep. We have to wake up early tomorrow."

Lin Qiushi watched Ruan Nanzhu's eyes. However impressive he was, Ruan Nanzhu was still just a regular human; he also got hungry if he didn't eat.

Lin Qiushi still wanted to talk, but Ruan Nanzhu was already squirming into his arms, kissing him once on the chin and whispering, "shh, stop talking, you'll wake Miye. Go to sleep already."

Seeing Ruan Nanzhu's adamant attitude, Lin Qiushi could only give in. He reached out and wrapped his arms tightly around Ruan Nanzhu.

The Ruan Nanzhu inside this door wasn't small or frail—he was just a few degrees livelier compared to outside. At least, Lin Qiushi thought, if they were outside, he wouldn't dare to fantasize about wrapping Ruan Nanzhu up in his arms to tenderly cherish...

The first thing next morning, Liang Miye stared at the hugging clump of people on the bed, eyes bugging out.

"Good morning," Ruan Nanzhu greeted her easily upon waking.

Liang Miye said, "you two…"

Just as she wanted to ask why they were sharing a bed, she saw Ruan Nanzhu press a kiss to Lin Qiushi's cheek, calling, "Linlin, time to wake up."

Lin Qiushi mumbled drowsily, "good morning."

Liang Miye, "…" Oh fuck, she seemed to have learned something she shouldn't have known. The leader of Obsidian was dating one of his own members?! Wasn't that a bit too similar to her own boss?!

Neither Lin Qiushi nor Ruan Nanzhu reacted to Liang Miye's shock, washing up in tranquil peace and heading to the dining room.

Once in the dining room, they saw the atmosphere among the crowd and knew their guess last night was correct. Of course the door wasn't going to be merciful and grant them a loophole—if they didn't open any chests, they couldn't have breakfast either.

Only Xiao Ji, who'd opened up a chest yesterday, was happily stuffing his mouth with hotcakes. People watched from around him, eyes red with jealousy.

"Heheh. No use looking at me like that. If you want to eat just open up some chests."

Lin Qiushi's group found chairs to sit in and waited for others to show. After a while, Sun Yuanzhou's group arrived late. They sat down, gave everyone a smile, and began picking up and eating the food on the table—these people had also opened some chests.

"You guys opened the chests?" Xuan Zihui, who'd voiced suspicions about Ruan Nanzhu yesterday, hurried to ask. "What did you find?"

"You could say we were lucky, but you could also say we weren't." Sun Yuanzhou only spoke after swallowing a mouthful of porridge. "Two empty boxes, one power for Hako Onna."

"We opened up another power!" The crowd was slightly despairing. "What did you open??"

Sun Yuanzhou put the power card on the table. Lin Qiushi was closest, and read the text in a moment: Open This.

"What does that mean??" Everybody looked toward the only one who knew the rules—Ruan Nanzhu.

"It's a troublesome power," Ruan Nanzhu sighed. "The Hako Onna can force a player to open a designated chest…"

The group sank immediately into silence.

"Meaning what? Meaning she can choose somebody to die?" The one speaking was a newbie who looked on the verge of breakdown. "Is that what that means?"

"Yes." Ruan Nanzhu's answer was light.

"But this is also our chance." Seeing looks of despair surface on everybody's faces, Ruan Nanzhu continued in a warmer tone. "The Hako Onna and Hakobito can actually be killed. It just takes one of the special items. And, the way to kill them is to use the item on the chest before opening it. These items are hidden inside the chests, so if you can open one up, you can render this power null."

Nobody replied, because everybody knew in their hearts that things wouldn't be so easy.

With two hundred chests, who know where those items were hidden?

A hopeless aura enveloped the crowd. Around the dining table, the sound of crying once again started.

Sun Yuanzhou clearly had no good feelings to spare the sobbing, breathless newbies. As soon as he finished eating he got up and left with his companions.

Ruan Nanzhu and Lin Qiushi didn't dally around the dining table either—it wasn't like they could eat at any rate.

"Let's go see about the chests in the study first," Ruan Nanzhu suggested after leaving the dining room.

"Okay," Lin Qiushi nodded.

They got to the study, and Lin Qiushi selected two random chests. After bending down and listening closely to confirm no sounds were coming from inside, he took a deep breath and decided to be the first to open one.

"Let me try first," Lin Qiushi said. He actually wasn't all that confident. With another deep breath, he clasped the top of the chest and lifted with force—empty. There was nothing in the chest at all. As he exhaled in relief, Lin Qiushi also felt a sense of disappointment.

He hadn't been able to open up a useful item.

"You take the next chest," Ruan Nanzhu said, looking toward Liang Miye who stood off at the side, not saying much.

"Me?" Lin Qiushi was a bit shocked. She was already mentally prepared to go hungry for two days—it was Lin Qiushi's power, after all. Two days wasn't much anyways, it wouldn't kill her. But she hadn't thought that Ruan Nanzhu would give her this opportunity.

"Mh," Ruan Nanzhu nodded.

Liang Miye had wanted to refuse, but then saw determined Ruan Nanzhu was.

"It's only two days," he said. "It's not a big deal."

Liang Miye, "alright… But you don't have to starve either. I brought in some food of my own. Though it's not much, it'll do to curb the hunger."

Ruan Nanzhu shot her a smile.

"Okay then."

Liang Miye chose a chest. Lin Qiushi gave it a listen, then nodded, indicating she could open it. Like Lin Qiushi, she held her breath when she got ready and opened the chest with careful motions. There was something inside her chest—a card with a number 3 on it.

"It's the passcode to the safe!" Lin Qiushi exclaimed.

"Not so bad," Liang Miye grinned, slipping the card into her pocket.

Ruan Nanzhu, however, didn't smile. In fact, he sighed.

"What's the sigh for?" Lin Qiushi asked him.

"Opening the safe is the most troublesome way of getting out of here," Ruan Nanzhu told him.

"Why do you say that?" Liang Miye asked.

"Because the passcode might not be in a single person's possession. So when it comes time to leave, who does the hint go to?" Ruan Nanzhu said. "But it's too early to think about that now. We'll talk later."

As the three kept discussing matters, they heard, coming from the dining room downstairs, a young girl's wailing cry. This cry was piercing and anguished—it belonged to the Hako Onna.

When they heard this sound, all three of their expressions changed for the worse.

In the tabletop, Hako Onna couldn't use a power immediately after a player opens one up. She must first cry to make the power truly belong to her. Though Hako Onna's cry exposed her location, it told all the players at the same time that she had gained one more power.

"I've got such a bad feeling about this," Liang Miye said.

Neither Lin Qiushi nor Ruan Nanzhu spoke.

The entire mansion was sunk in an air of despondency. Lin Qiushi came down from the second floor and saw pale-faced newbies sitting in the living room. They seemed to have given up on any hope of surviving, sitting there utterly still like wooden figures.

These were all people that Wei Xiude had brought inside, but Wei Xiude was currently nowhere to be seen. Clearly, after these people became a hindrance, he'd given up on them.

Lin Qiushi thought that this guy really ought to change his name, from Wei "Meritorious" Xiude to Meritless. It would be more fitting.

When it came lunchtime, only half of the group of twenty could move their chopsticks. The rest either didn't come to the dining room at all or they sat there staring.

Sun Yuanzhou was a bit shocked that Ruan Nanzhu also wasn't eating. He asked, "you didn't open one either?"

"I was scared," Ruan Nanzhu pouted, all soft and weak as he leaned against Lin Qiushi's shoulder. His long lashes trembled, and his expression was pitiful. "What if I open it and something weird comes out?"

Sun Yuanzhou said, "but you can't keep not eating."

It seemed that he liked Ruan Nanzhu enough to care about him this much.

Ruan Nanzhu didn't reply.

There really was a good amount of people not eating, even a few veterans. Thanks to Xiao Ji, Wei Xiude managed to eat his fill. His look of contentment did not put others in a good mood.

After eating, the group traded some information. No one had yet opened up any particularly useful items. Only one person found a can of gasoline.

Ruan Nanzhu explained the gasoline's use. It can restrict the Hako Onna's movement once or kill a Hakobito, but the condition to use it was that you had to be certain that the Hakobito or Hako Onna were in that particular chest, and use it while the chest was closed.

The person who found the gasoline let out a breath and said he was safe for tomorrow then. As long as he used the gasoline before opening the chest, he could be a hundred percent certain that the chest he opened was safe.

Liang Miye also told everyone about them finding a piece of the strongbox passcode, but she didn't tell them what the digit was. She only said that if anyone else found any, they could work together. Whoever had more digits could get the key, and if everybody found only one, then they would play rock-paper-scissors for the key.

This was the fairest method. Plus, others hadn't found any other digits yet, so everybody quickly agreed.

After exchanging intel, the group dispersed.

Ruan Nanzhu seemed a bit sleepy. He kept yawning after getting up from the table.

Lin Qiushi asked, "what's wrong? Are you not feeling well?"

"Mh, I want to sleep," Ruan Nanzhu said. "Let's go back to the room first."

He rubbed his eyes, looking really quite tired.

“Alright. Did you not sleep well last night?"

They walked up to the second floor and returned to their room. Ruan Nanzhu sat down on the side of the bed, but didn't get in. His gaze fell on a chest by the wall.

Sitting behind him, Lin Qiushi paused.

"Zhu Meng?"

Ruan Nanzhu didn't answer.

"Zhu Meng?" Lin Qiushi came up to him and patted him on the shoulder, asking, "what's going on with you?"

Ruan Nanzhu's head whipped around, and he said, "…nothing."

A touch of hesitation surfaced between his brows, but in the end he still said, "nothing."

Liang Miye, "Zhu Meng, you didn't eat right? I'll go make some instant noodles for you."

She'd actually brought in instant noodles.

Liang Miye went to the kitchen to boil water. Lin Qiushi stayed seated beside Ruan Nanzhu, thinking Ruan Nanzhu wasn't feeling well. He put a hand to Ruan Nanzhu's forehead and confirmed Ruan Nanzhu wasn't running a temperature.

"Does it hurt anywhere?"

Ruan Nanzhu shook his head. He seemed a bit disconcerted by his own condition as well.

"I'm fine."

Lin Qiushi didn't reply. He followed Ruan Nanzhu's line of sight and saw the black wooden chest by the wall. It was still a normal chest, but judging by Ruan Nanzhu's gaze, one would think there was something of tremendous importance inside that chest.

An absurd thought appeared in Lin Qiushi's mind, and his expression went frozen. His voice, when he spoke, had become raspy: "Zhu Meng."

He took Ruan Nanzhu's face in his hands and pulled it by force to face him.

"Stop looking at that chest."

Ruan Nanzhu didn't answer. His expression didn't look right at all.

Lin Qiushi, "Zhu Meng?"

Ruan Nanzhu reached up and pressed his hand to Lin Qiushi's arm. Then, he pried Lin Qiushi's hand off him and turned back, gaze once again landing on that chest in the corner.

"I think there's an important item in that chest."

As soon as those words were out, Lin Qiushi knew he'd guessed correctly—the Hako Onna had used a power.

Open This. There must be something important in there. Maybe it's something that couldn kill the Hako Onna. As long as it's opened, they could leave here and return to reality. Ruan Nanzhu's eyes grew more and more determined. He slowly stood up from the bed.

"Nanzhu—" Lin Qiushi couldn't care for much else at this point, calling out Ruan Nanzhu's name directly. He grabbed Ruan Nanzhu around the waist. "Nanzhu, wake up!!"

Ruan Nanzhu didn't speak. He was very strong, easily pulling off the arm Lin Qiushi held him with and continuing toward the chest.

"Nanzhu—" A layer of cold sweat dotted Lin Qiushi's forehead. He used all his strength, but only managed to slightly slow Ruan Nanzhu's walking speed. "Nanzhu you gotta wake up, you can't open that chest!!"

He was roaring, trying to snap Ruan Nanzhu out of the illusion, but it was of no use. Ruan Nanzhu couldn't hear his voice at all, only continued forward step by step. He was already moments away from reaching the chest.

Because of Lin Qiushi's calls, Liang Miye had also come out of the kitchen. Seeing such a scene she yelled in fright, "Linlin, what's wrong!"

"Hako Onna's power!" Head soaked in sweat, Lin Qiushi was panting heavily. "Quick, come help me!"

Liang Miye also dashed over to help grab onto Ruan Nanzhu with Lin Qiushi.

But in the face of Ruan Nanzhu's immense strength, their attempts to stop him were like mayflies dashing themselves upon a tree. It was in this critical moment that an idea flashed in Lin Qiushi's mind. He yelled, "Liang Miye! Quick! Grab my backpack!"

Though she didn't know what for, Liang Miye still made a run for the backpack, dashing back to Lin Qiushi with it.

"Now what?!"

Lin Qiushi said, "hold onto Ruan Nanzhu!"

He took the backpack and swiftly began to dig through it—he didn't know if it would actually work or not, but this was the last hope of Ruan Nanzhu's survival!

[Ch. 109] | [Ch. 111]

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 06 part two

(Masterpost)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Bathing Boy Beauties

So, now we and Wei Wuxian get to see Lan Wangji with his shirt off. Eventually Lan Wangji will realize that his brother set this up, and will think of some way to get back at him, possibly by spending three years being stubborn in a cave or maybe by chopping an arm off of someone his brother cares about. 

This is A+ Yibo fanservice but it's also a male-male version of a trope that's ubiquitous in c-drama, in which the male lead takes a bath and the female lead sees him. The purpose of the scene is almost always so a woman can look a man’s body over and decide, not to put too fine a point on it, whether she wants to fuck him. 

Examples:

The Pillow Book - “Which part of Shen Ye is better than me?”

Women’s sexual agency is not often at the forefront in c-dramas, but the bathtub scenes are an acknowledgement of the female gaze, and of male objects of desire being subject to evaluation & approval.

Tientsin Mystic is a show with a lot of muscley swimming in it, In case you’re looking for your next Netflix show. 

As a CGI artist I have to mention that water does not reflect or refract 100% of light. If you look at a naked dingle-having person in a bathtub full of clear water you will definitely be able to see their dingle. But C-drama water is magic and nothing is visible below the waterline, to the point that Bai Yu is modestly covering his thoracic surgery scar chest in Detective L while leaving his lower half uncovered.

Note: that caption isn’t fake; she is really saying this on her way out the door, after having a long chat with him in the bathroom. You can find the whole series on YouTube.

Seen in this context, The Untamed’s two bathing scenes are saying quite a lot. Wei Wuxian, being a boy, doesn’t display any female-encoded shyness or modesty, but he and his sword pause for a moment of admiration.

(more after the cut!)

16 years later, Lan Wangji will sit quietly in this pool and let Wei Wuxian examine his wet body thoroughly from multiple angles, in a more prolonged invocation of this C-drama mating ritual.

Carrying on - was Xiao Zhan supposed to kick his boot in the water like that? Because if not, he rolls with it like a champ.

Wei Wuxian starts trying to be direct with Lan Wangji, giving him the worst, most neg-filled compliment ever, bless his heart.  

Then he says that there are benefits to being his friend, and starts taking off his clothes.

Wei Wuxian here takes his first step into the bold new world of respecting Lan Wangji’s boundaries, asking Lan Wangji to stay and saying he will keep his clothes on. 

Lan Wangji actually does stay, so he's apparently not too angry with Wei Wuxian about the drinking. Wei Wuxian invites him to visit Lotus Pier sometime (see my gifset here), but the promise of lotus pods doesn’t impress him. Then Wei Wuxian tries to tell him that the Yunmeng chicks really knock me out, they leave the rest behind. This also doesn’t impress him. 

You could read this macking-on-ladies talk as a sign that Wei Wuxian is oblivious to LWJ's feelings for him. But I read it as a bisexual boy being horny on main with a boy he likes, not  understanding yet that some boys don’t share all of his turn-ons.

Lan Wangji is sort of mildly startled when Wei Wuxian disappears under the water. His eye makeup is good here, isn’t it?.

Ice Cave

They end up in an ice cave and both spend the rest of the episode showing how good they look with wet hair. 

When the guqin starts attacking, Lan Wangji is only mildly perturbed about Wei Wuxian getting his shit rocked over and over.

Eventually he sends Bichen to protect his very bedraggled date. Lan Wangji’s sword is faster than the speed of a very slow sound wave.

Beauty's where you find it not just where you bump and grind it 

Gusuship Down

I feel like there are a couple of things in this show that are so problematic the fandom has silently agreed to never discuss them. Well, I’m here to talk about this one:

There are rabbits in this ice cave and they are wearing headbands. HEADbands. On RABBits.  

EXCELLENT FUCKING QUESTION, LAN WANGJI

*deep breath*

Are these rabbits lineal Lan descendants? Who makes the headbands? How do they stay on because “headband” here means “glowing cloud on forehead” without any actual band.  When rabbit babies are born, how do they stay safe while they’re waiting for someone to make them baby-sized headbands? Do these rabbits adhere to the other 3499 Lan Clan principles or just the headband one? Is any ol' rabbit allowed to touch a rabbit’s headband or is it limited to parents and significant others and is that even relevant when presumably these bunnies are all fucking each other like...bunnies?

The characters are like “oh, the rabbits are wearing headbands; killer guqin problem solved.” And then they move right the fuck along with their lives and the rabbit headbands are never seen or discussed again and I just want a hit of whatever the author or creative team was smoking when they came up with this whole idea.

Headband Sharing

When Wei Wuxian tells Lan Wangji to hand over his headband, Lan Wangji understands his entire rabbit-based thought process without asking

Gen-X Joke Alert

Wei Wuxian is awfully impressed by this sword-recall trick, considering that he did it himself when they went to the lake.

I see you know your way around a sheath

Killer Guqin

When they approach the guqin I hope that the subtitles are mistranslated, because Wei Wuxian keeps promising not to touch it and then says he can't look at it without touching it. I'm not going to touch it, I just need to touch it. 

Lan Wangji is going to teach Wei Wuxian some goddamn boundaries no matter how many times he has to make him fondle his sword.

Nothing suggestive here

Lan Wangji sits down to play the guqin and immediately goes off into the ether where there are seagull noises and plenty of fans. This is either a state of pure bliss, or he just really likes seagulls.

Did Lan Wangji just have a stealth orgasm?

Speaking of getting off, get your ass off of my desk

The Yin Iron

Lan Wangji does some spirit whispering, and suddenly the cave starts yelling at them. A bunch of clans are chanting in unison about a plan, which is the cultivator version of a battle cry.

Lancestor Lan Yi shows up. She is elegant and has a combination of sweetness and gravity that is similar to Lan Xichen’s. And none of Lan Qiren’s douchiness.

Search Party

Lan Qiren is worried and Lan Xichen is worried and they have sent people to look for the boys. It's really too bad nobody around here knows magic.

All these powerful cultivators search for missing people by running around outdoors yelling for them. 

Yanli is excused from PE class because she’s not feeling well, so she sits on a rock in the woods instead of, you know, staying home in the first place. She gets bored sitting down and unwisely decides to walk two or three steps. Xuan Lu, seen here competing in a gymnastics event, gamely pretends she can’t climb a small rock. 

Yanli falls into Jin Zixuan's arms and they gaze at each other for a long heterosexual moment. 

No homosexual explanation possible

This means two things: 1. he isn't looking very hard for her brother if he's hanging out here catching wobbly girls 2. soulful longing looks from him ain't shit, because he's going to dump her in the next episode.

Lanny Granny

Lan Wangji intros himself to Lan Yi and does a full prostrate bow. Wei Wuxian does a standing bow since he's not a descendant, just a future in-law.

No I mean come on, HEADBANDS

Lan Gran explains the entire history of the yin iron. It's bad, it's full of resentful energy, no-one should use it. She’s going to dump it on a couple of 16 year old boys, one of whom has a woody for using resentful energy, because it’s destiny and her battery is about to run out. 

Props to the Prop Department; this thing does look pretty cool

Xue Chonghai was the most problematic cultivator back in the old days. He killed a lot of dudes and fed their resentment to...a turtle? To the disk? I don’t know; I literally am unable to pay attention when anyone is explaining the intricacies of the unobtanium Yin Iron. 

Anyway there’s a disk and it’s soaked up a lot of resentment.  

Using it makes people evil. Well except..clearly this dude started off evil, yeah? If he was feeding people to his turtle.

Side effects may include: being fucking crazy

Here Wei Wuxian brings out his "resentful energy is awesome" theory and has an experienced grown-up grand master tell him that she also thought this, and has spent 100 years locked in a cave with headband-wearing rabbits because she was super fucking wrong. Does this deter him? ...nope

Baoshan Sanren

Now she name checks Baoshan Sanren, and Wei Wuxian has a big reaction and Lan Wangji has a big noticing of Wei Wuxian’s reaction. He’s very attuned to Wei Wuxian’s emotional state, in the moments where WWX lets his actual feelings show through the sass and swagger.  

Lan Gran talks about her search for the Yin iron, and Lan Wangji wisely says, if you can't neutralize it, why look for it? And she says, I was filled with hubris just like ya boi Wei Wuxian.  Lan Wangji points out the exact same shit he will later point out to Wei Wuxian.

So now we have a parallel in which Lan Yi is just like Wei Wuxian and Baoshan Sanren is just like Lan Wangji, yeah? Which is kind of sweet; it shows how these types are drawn together and how your clan doesn't determine your personality. Also it shows how the Lan clan has room for an unorthodox clan leader. Also it shows how the Yin Iron causes some really bad breakups. 

These boys are standing on snow barefoot which has got to take a pretty high cultivation level. Look how short Lan Wangji is without his stilettos, aww.

Flashback to Baoshan Sanren, just long enough to appreciate how beautiful she is.

Did OP give up on recoloring that flashback-blue-hazed image and just start fucking around with random filters? Yes she did. 

We also get to see that Lan Yi and Lan Wangji have more common than just guqin, because they both like to solve problems by kicking them.  

So after breaking up with her girlfriend, Lan Gran became invisible in this cave for 100 years while trying to contain the Yin iron and put headbands on rabbits. 

Soundtrack: Vogue by Madonna Writing prompt: Watership Down rabbits meet Lan rabbits

Bonus extended bath clip:

Bai Yu, Detective L

[featherfur]

Museum Bonding

Characters: Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji, Jiang Cheng

Warnings: Blood and arguing, Modern Au, Sometimes You Just Gotta Punch It Out

Words: 4.5k

Summary: Wei Wuxian wants his brother and fiancé to get along and decides to leave them alone at a museum. It works, but it takes a few punches and a near heart attack for Wei Wuxian. Apparently, punching fiancé's is a family tradition.

Read me on Ao3, Ko-Fi is on Sidebar

“Wei Wuxian you need to come get your fiancé this fucking instant.” Jiang Cheng’s voice hissed through the phone as Wuxian put it to his ear.

With a soft sigh, Wuxian grabbed a spoon and continued his stirring before he bothered to answer Jiang Cheng’s begging. Jiang Cheng and Lan Zhan were supposed to be bonding while Wuxian helped Yanli finish cooking. He’d only been gone for two hours and apparently they were already at each other’s throats.

“Chengcheng, please, what did he do? You know you can’t treat him like me, he and his brother aren’t like us.” Wuxian hummed, thinking about the well-mannered Xichen fondly. They really were so much more lowkey in their arguments.

“I hate you, I hate you so much and I hate him… We’re… bonding and I don’t like it.” The way Jiang Cheng howled it into the phone, Wuxian would have thought he was being actively killed rather than just wandering around a museum.

Wuxian laughed so hard he dropped the spoon onto the floor and had to fall back against the counter. He tried to stifle it with a hand to his mouth but it did nothing to stop the flowing giggles.

In the other room Yanli gave him an alarmed look but that just made the giggles turn into wheezing. Even Jiang Cheng’s angry growling in his ear did absolutely nothing to help cut off the endless stream. He tried his best, he really did, but this was the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard out of his brother and he would remember this for years.

“Wei Ying.” Lan Zhan’s voice came through the phone, sounding almost as distressed as Jiang Cheng and the laughter only increased.

“Wa-wait…” He wheezed, fumbling around for the spoon and taking the second to grab a clean one to suck in a few breaths. They sounded so upset at getting along, what was Wuxian supposed to do?

“Okay, okay, I’m… I’m back.” Wuxian still snickered to himself as he started stirring again at Yanli’s pointed look. Pregnant and missing her husband was not leading to a happy Yanli and Wuxian did not want to be the one at the bad end of her disappointed face.

“Can I please come stay with you?” Lan Zhan said, and if it was anyone else Wuxian would have said it was a whine but of course his amazing Lan Zhan would never.

Suppressing another round of laughter, Wuxian shook his head and smiled at the pan instead. Was it cheesy of him to still be so excited and fuzzy-feeling whenever Lan Zhan said anything about being with him? Yes. Would Wuxian ever stop? Nope.

“Lan Zhan.” Wuxian finally said, trying his best to use a stern tone that definitely wasn’t working. “Jiang Cheng, you two are supposed to be bonding. Why is that so bad?”

The phone scratched and made a shuffling noise before Jiang Cheng’s voice came back.

“Did you know your fiancé loves art history?”

Wei Wuxian nodded to himself, wondering why that was a big deal. Was Jiang Cheng just grumpy that Lan Zhan knew more about the paintings? Or maybe Lan Zhan had corrected the guide, that had happened the last time they’d gone together.

“Xichen is a well known artist, I’d be more confused if Lan Zhan wasn’t interested in it-”

“Did you know that your brother loves art history?” Lan Zhan’s voice cut in and that was news to Wuxian.

“Uh, no? Jiang Cheng hates it, he failed three art classes in college. Had to get a job and everything to pay for them because his mother wouldn’t pay for them.”

“I didn’t-” Jiang Cheng’s voice cut off and Wuxian just knew his fiancé was giving Jiang Cheng a glare of absolute loathing for daring to lie even if it was to get along with Lan Zhan. “Wuxian, I did not fail three classes.”

Jiang Cheng’s voice dropped into the lowest hiss as if someone was going to crawl out of the walls with his mother to yell at him again. It had not been a good two years and even Jin Zixuan had been trying to offer Jiang Cheng money to just take a different elective so he could pass. Jiang Cheng, like usual, had been too damn stubborn to admit defeat and had just re-taken the same classes even when his parents had cut the college fund.

Wei Wuxian understood not wanting to admit to that, especially when the Jiang name held prestige in the fashion industry, and if it was anyone else then Wuxian would be happy to lie. Not to Lan Zhan though, never to Lan Zhan.

Wuxian opened his mouth to inform him of just that, when Jiang Cheng cut him off with an embarrassed confession.

“Tell your perfect fiancé to stop looking at me like that… I didn’t fail the classes, I didn’t want to graduate yet and have to go into the business so I lied and said I failed them. No one looked at my transcripts, I took a different class each time, I didn’t realize you actually believed that bullshit.” Jiang Cheng confessed sullenly and Wuxian wished he was standing beside him so he could kick his ass.

“You what?” Wuxian howled at the phone, dropping it onto the counter and pressing the speaker when Yanli ran into the room in a panic. “You tell Yanli-jie what you just said right now.”

“No wait- She’s going to be ups-”

“A-Cheng.”

“Fuck.” The phone went silent and Wei Wuxian wondered what silent conversation Lan Zhan and Jiang Cheng were glaring out. If it wasn’t for the fact that Yanli was now in this, he would be driving over there just to watch it go down.

“Okay… fucking… You remember when Mom kicked you out? You left and you said ‘don’t be a pushover when I can’t protect you’.” Jiang Cheng started and Wei Wuxian wailed dramatically, smacking himself in the face.

“I meant don’t let Jin Zixun talk shit, I didn’t mean… Lan Zhan, smack him for me! Twice!” There was a moment of almost audible mutual glaring. “Jiang Cheng, oh my god, oh my god. This is why she hated me, I turned you into a disgrace.”

“Shut up, I have two Master’s degrees from it even Jin Zixuan only has one.” Jiang Cheng shouted back before shuffling came over the phone and Wuxian realized Lan Zhan was probably shoving him out of the quiet museum.

“Enough yelling,” Yanli sighed softly, “A-Cheng, what are you talking about?”

It took a moment but finally Jiang Cheng’s voice came through at a much softer tone.

“I… wanted to get back at Mom for kicking Wuxian out, and I wanted to major in Art history anyways. Dad said that I had to go into business to take over Lotus, the only difference for the degrees were three classes so I just… Did both of them. Told Mom I’d failed to make a point, I’m perfectly fine at fucking up my life without Wuxian in it. Wait, why am I even having this conversation?”

“That backfired real fucking quick didn’t it.” Wuxian growled, he could see Jiang Cheng’s wince and the stubborn set to his shoulders.

How could his little brother be so stupid? He could have just done classes on the side, there was no need to get back at his parents. Wei Wuxian never held that against them, never! If he’d known it was all a stupid childish grudge that caused Jiang Cheng to get kicked out of the house for two years, he would have dragged him back and apologized himself.

“Shut up, I loved those classes! The only part of college that was fucking worth it. Don’t give me that look Lan Wangji, not all of us get to do what we want with our lives.”

“I did not give you a look-”

“You did, it’s the same fucking look you give me every time you see me. Like you have no fucking clue how your perfect precious Wei Ying came to be so amazing with me as a brother, like you’re disgusted with having to see me exist or fuck up-”

“I have not once-“

“Hey hey! You two stop it, both of you now. Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, can you please walk away for me?” Wuxian barked into the phone, trying to be louder than their arguing but he had no idea if either of them even remembered that he was still there.

“-give a fuck if you hate me, you’re-”

“I have never said that I-”

“He’s my fucking family and I-”

“Wei Ying is-”

“Lan Zhan! Jiang Cheng! Come on you two please stop fighting, guys I swear I will cry.” He tried again but the growling didn’t stop for even a second.

“-I don’t care! Who do think gives a damn about you-”

The call ended with a rather concerning cracking and Wuxian’s head fell directly into the cupboard. Even the pain wasn’t enough to get him to actually concentrate, what just happened?

One moment they’re getting along, and apparently bonding to the point that both of them were actually worried and now they’re screaming at each other because of a lie that wasn’t even involving Lan Zhan! A lie that was completely and utterly Wuxian’s fault for pissing off Yu Ziyuan and somehow convincing his brother to go insane by trying to tell him to not let Jin Zixun kick him around.

“Jie…” He turned to her, eyes wide and hopeful. She would be able to tell him what to do or atleast what was going on. Right?

Even Yanli looked completely taken aback, her mouth moving soundlessly. They stared at each other, both trying to figure out how to fix this.

Atleast when Wuxian had punched Jin Zixuan he’d been fourteen, not twenty eight and in public. Was this going to be a tradition? Was Yanli going to sock Jiang Cheng’s future spouse?

The front door creaked open with a soft call from Jin Zixuan and they both snapped back to themselves.

“A-Xuan, I need you to drive A-Ying to the museum. I have to keep the food from burning.” Yanli said immediately, grabbing the spoon to stir before things started to burn. Jin Zixuan’s face came around the corner looking rather like a kicked puppy at the lack of greeting.

If it wasn’t a matter of life and death, Wuxian might have actually thought it was cute. But it was so he didn’t care and simply grabbed his arm to drag him out. Yanli was too far along in her pregnancy to be running after the two so Wuxian didn’t mind going alone anyways.

“Jiang Cheng and Lan Zhan got into a fight,” Wuxian finally explained as he shoved his feet into his shoes. That got Zixuan’s attention and he picked his keys up again and let himself be pulled out after a quick declaration of love towards Yanli’s stirring form.

“A fight? I mean Jiang Cheng I understand, but Wangji?” Jin Zixuan looked even more bewildered than Wuxian felt, but that didn’t stop him from freezing until he’d scowled Jin Zixuan into a mumbled apology.

“Just… Just get us there and we’ll explain everything over dinner.”

Wuxian tried to call Lan Zhan the moment he was in the car, tapping his feet anxiously against the bottom of the floor. For once, Zixuan didn’t bother to complain about it and just drove a little faster when the phone reached voicemail.

“Are you sure it was a fight? Don’t give me that look! Wanyin has a temper but he doesn’t just attack people… That aren’t you.” Zixuan amended and Wuxian hid his face behind his hands with a loud groan.

That was true, Jiang Cheng had a temper but he’d also been running Lotus LLC. for years and knew how to keep himself calm. Which meant that either Lan Zhan had said something truly unforgivable (for Jiang Cheng atleast) or Lan Zhan threw the first punch.

Wuxian couldn’t even say that it was impossible, Lan Zhan was more than a little overprotective of him. If Jiang Cheng said the wrong thing or it sounded like the wrong thing…

“Oh my god I’ve ruined my family a second time.” He said desperately, wanting nothing more than to just be home, preferably in the arms of his fiancé.

“Hey, hey, if something happens it’ll blow over eventually.” Zixuan said awkwardly before a very hesitant and flat hand patted Wuxian’s head. “Right? Family no matter what, even if you break someone’s nose, I said that before right? Remember you hated me and now you don’t.”

“Oh god Jiang Cheng’s going to break Lan Zhan’s nose and he’s going to hate the rest of my family.” Wuxian cried, pressing his hands firmer against his face so he didn’t actually start sobbing. If he was the reason why the love of his life hated his family then Wuxian would never be able to forgive himself or feel like he deserved to look at any of them.

“No- I… No you don’t hate me, and I don’t hate you and I’m making this worse.” Zixuan cursed tried to squeeze Wuxian’s shoulder comfortingly before he focused on the road, trying to figure out when he started actually caring about Wuxian and his partner.

__

Dark hair took up most of Jiang Wanyin’s vision as he blinked rapidly, the tears still pricking at his eyes. He tried to sniff but agony just shot up his nose instead and he groaned angrily.

“How bad is it?”

Lan Wangji’s hum did nothing to assuage his fears but a second later pale eyes met Jiang Wanyin’s and the man nodded.

“It’s not broken.” Lan Wangji finally said, carefully pressing a few more napkins onto the bloody mess. Jiang Wanyin swatted his hand away and moved to hold it himself, tilting his head to follow Lan Wangji’s movements to the bench beside him.

“You,” Jiang Wanyin started with a bump to Lan Wangji’s shoulder, “have a hard fucking head. Welcome to the family.”

Lan Wangji bristled like an angry bird before he blinked and realized that Jiang Wanyin was grinning at him. He was trying to be friendly.

Lan Wangji quietly reminded himself to tell Xichen just how much he appreciated having a mentally sane brother.

“I’m sorry I broke your phone.” Wangji finally said, looking down at the shattered screen in Jiang Wanyin’s hand.

“Don’t worry about it, I broke yours too when you fell on it… Wuxian’s going to have a heart attack though.”

Lan Wangji winced at the reminder, Wei Ying was incredibly attached to both of them and the last thing he’d heard was Lan Wangji headbutting his brother. Then he winced again at pain rocketing across his face, and reached up to tenderly press against the freshly bruised skin on his eye.

“Oh, right, lemme see.” Jiang Wanyin didn’t bother to wait for permission, just reached over to turn Lan Wangji’s face over.

It took every ounce of Lan Wangji’s patience not to headbutt him again, but after taking a punch to the face it really wasn’t worth it. Besides, if Wei Ying came over while Wangji was fighting his brother it would make things that much worse. He could barely fathom that not even fifteen minutes ago he and Jiang Wanyin had actually started to like each other and now they were both bruised and bloody.

“I didn’t hit hard enough to worry about cracking your skull, so you probably don’t need an X-ray, but if it stays a sharp pain I’d go in anyways, or if you can't move your eye.” Jiang Wanyin said knowledgeably, Lan Wangji wondered how he knew so much but at the same time he didn’t really care about that right now.

“Are you saying that you pulled your punch?” Lan Wangji said blankly. That punch had hurt, and Jiang Wanyin had pulled it?

“Of course I did, If I didn’t you’d be on your way to the hospital with a broken nose and a cracked eye. I grew up with Wuxian, do you really think we never got into scuffles? Got to the point, Dad signed us up for classes so we’d punch other people instead… Never stopped us though.” Jiang Wanyin said fondly, dabbing at the still bleeding nose and leaning back into the bench now that his examination was over.

“Why would you fight your brother?” Lan Wangji was aghast, of course Wei Ying had told him about some of the fights he’d gotten into when he was younger, but he’d never realized how physical he meant. He couldn’t even imagine punching Xichen, or, heaven forbid, Xichen punching him.

“Why wouldn’t I? Oh right, you were raised properly.” It didn’t sound sarcastic so Lan Wangji didn’t react. “Sometimes you just get pissed off and you have nothing else to do but to tackle your idiot brother until Jiejie comes over to help. Don’t look at me like that, Wuxian broke my arm, twice. And the second time wasn’t even my fault.”

Jiang Wanyin’s head turned toward him with an almost evil mirth.

“You got grown-up Wei Ying, I got feral Wei Wuxian. Do you know how many times that little shit would pick fights then bolt back to hide behind me when he realized he was out-sized or out-numbered? Another reason we had to take defence classes, even if we were outnumbered, if we had each other’s back we weren’t going down easy. This way we stopped coming home bloody.”

Again Lan Wangji didn’t say anything, just sat quietly and watched the park in front of them as he thought. Wei Ying had told him multiple times that Jiang Wanyin wasn’t like Xichen, they communicated differently. Lan Wangji had assumed that meant that he was probably more like Nie Mingjue but atleast Nie Mingjue could compliment Nie Huaisang to his face instead of half hearted insults.

Wei Ying said they were bonding, and they had nothing to do until Wei Ying arrived so perhaps…

“You said… You lied for him?” Wangji finally asked, wondering if it counted as an attempt at friendliness.

The laughter drained from Jiang Wanyin’s face immediately and his lip curled slightly like he wanted nothing more than to bare his teeth. If he was looking for another fight Wangji wouldn’t give in a second time, that would only hurt Wei Ying more. Yet Jiang Wanyin’s voice was soft and strained like he was forcing himself to speak and it was painful.

“Mom kicked him out after a fight with Dad. She wasn’t really mad at Wuxian but she couldn’t do anything against Dad but she knew kicking him out would hurt him. Jiejie was already living with her husband and I was off to college so she couldn’t actually do anything but yell over the phone. So when the opportunity to rub it in her face that Wuxian was the reason I was so good in classes showed up, I took it. Wanted to hurt her for hurting him.” Jiang Wanyin’s face slipped into a mask of guilt and shame, even two years out of college and the full owner of Lotus he still couldn’t believe he’d been so shitty to his mother. She’d only wanted the best for him but he wanted his family together and when one went missing he cracked the connections to the rest of them. In the end Yanli was the only one he talked to all those long years of college until the beginning of his last semester when Wuxian returned.

“Your parents cut you off?”

“Of course they did, wasn’t Mom though. She thought I was sick or just rebelling, which I was, but Dad was pissed. Still surprised he even remembered I existed once I left the house.”

“You paid for college yourself?”

“Eh? No, I got a scholarship in the first place, parents paid for my business administration degree and the school paid for my art history degree. Do you think I’d be so good at design if I couldn’t pass an art class? The extra scholarship meant I needed another year and a half of school unless I wanted to stuff it all in at the same time. Kept me out of the house long enough for that idiot to come back… Otherwise I probably wouldn’t have gone.”

Lan Wangji couldn’t stop himself from frowning as he looked at the man avoiding his gaze. He really couldn’t get a read on him, which in itself wasn’t that strange he didn’t get most people, but Jiang Wanyin had literally just told him something even Wei Ying didn’t know and Wangji still didn’t know what was going on with him.

He wanted to put Jiang Wanyin firmly in the ‘I only accept they exist when Wei Ying asks me too’ but he couldn’t help but remember the hour and a half prior when they’d been debating painting styles from the 18th century, it had been almost as much fun as speaking with Xichen over painting archetypes. Now he also knew that Jiang Wanyin hadn’t wanted Wei Ying to leave and waited for him to return to the family. As much as Wangji wanted to hate him for all the arguments between the brothers and for not fighting his mother to keep a roof over Wei Ying’s head, he couldn’t quite bring himself to feel it.

“... I..” Wangji started, mentally chanting ‘this is for Wei Ying’, “I do not hate you.”

“Oh that’s a relief.” Jiang Wanyin said sarcastically but he didn’t glare so Wangji took that as a good sign.

“Earlier… When you said no one cares about Wei Ying and I-”

“I meant the gay thing, Wuxian’s always so touchy about it like I didn’t have to share a room with him for thirteen years and hear him when he saw Nie Mingjue for the first time. I thought you were arguing about that.” Jiang Wanyin said so flippantly that Lan Wangji actually felt bad for head butting him.

“Wei Ying is not a disgrace to you or anyone else.”

“I don’t care about that. Who gives a damn about you and him?”

As Wei Ying would say: Oops.

“I see how fighting works now.” Wangji said with a nod to himself. After throwing a few punches, they were both now too tired to argue in the same way and could only listen and communicate. That made a lot of sense even if Wangji would prefer that Wei Ying never need to throw a punch ever again.

Jiang Wanyin gave him a wide eyed look before he barked out a laugh and shook his head as he stood.

“Uh Huh. Sure you do, atleast you and Zixuan will have something to bond over. Wuxian really did break his nose when we were fourteen.” Jiang Wanyin was still smiling at that and Lan Wangji realized he would never understand anyone in his husband’s family. Not really.

“... Xichen has a painting that was recently added to this museum’s collection.” Wangji said, wondering if the olive branch would be taken. They’d started arguing and debating on every painting and hadn’t even managed to get halfway through the actual museum before they’d both had the panicked realization they had started to like each other.

Jiang Cheng gave him a narrowed eye glare before he tossed the bloody napkins away and shrugged.

“Let’s go see it, who knows when Wuxian’ll show up.”

Half an hour was how long it took and Wuxian nearly screamed when he saw them.

“Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, your face! Jiang Cheng, how could you- Chengcheng your face?!” Wuxian had gasped, holding onto Lan Wangji’s jacket and looking more horrified then the time he’d watched a documentary where the fox ate a rabbit. “You two! How could you- I cannot believe you two- Why are you both looking at me like that?”

Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji shared an amused glance, keeping quiet over Wuxian’s admonishing. Jiang Cheng passed over the drink he’d been holding to Wuxian’s hands and successfully distracted him from his staring.

“Your fiancé has good taste in coffee.” Was all Jiang Cheng said, walking toward Jin Zixuan instead and leaving the dramatics for the one who signed up for it.

“Your brother has rather interesting ideas on color theory.” Lan Wangji said to Wuxian, his lips only twitching into a more fond smile at the hand waving and bewildered look on his fiancé’s face. “We have bonded.”

“You… broke each other’s faces.” Wuxian cried, holding the drink in one hand so the other could cradle Wangji’s cheek and gently stroke over the unbruised skin. “I’m so so so sorry, Lan Zhan, I didn’t realize he’d punch you or I never would have left-”

“There’s no need for apologies,” Lan Wangji said pointedly, gently reaching up to take Wuxian’s hands and press a kiss to the fingertips, “besides, I hit first. It was a misunderstanding. It has been cleared up. I believed him to be looking down on you, he believed me to be ashamed of my relationship with another man.”

“You two.. You two are never allowed to bond again. If I wanted you to punch each other I would have sent you to Huaisang’s brother’s gym to box it out.” Despite his words, Wuxian had relaxed considerably and spared a glance over his shoulder towards his brother. “So… You don’t hate him?”

“No. I do not understand him, but I know he cares about you. That’s all I need to know.” Wangji said with another kiss to his fingertips.

“That’s the best thing I’ve ever heard… Well other than when you confessed, and when you proposed, and when you say my name and-”

Wangji shook his head, shutting him up with a kiss that Wuxian was more than happy to reciprocate.

Jiang Cheng glanced at their disgusting affection and then the very awkward looking Jin Zixuan.

“... Go ahead.” He finally said with a suffering sigh. In seconds, Jin Zixuan was in his face, carefully checking his nose. The moment they’d found out that Yanli was pregnant Zixuan had devoted himself to all forms of emergency medical training just in case anything happened to their baby. In doing that, though, had somehow unlocked his need to use that towards anyone he considered family.

“Okay it’s not broken, and Lan Wangji… I’m sure Wuxian has that handled.” Jin Zixuan said after glancing at the couple and Jiang Cheng really couldn’t blame him.

“Why are you here anyways?”

“A-Li yelled at me to drive Wei Wuxian here.” He said pathetically, like there couldn’t be anything worse in the world than Yanli yelling at him. And he was right.

“Hmm, we should probably call her and tell her that we’re not dead. I broke my phone and Lan Wangji’s.” Jiang Cheng said, holding out his hand for Jin Zixuan’s phone. Jin Zixuan looked like he didn’t trust him but a moment later he gave in and passed it over.

“Uh… I hope you two are getting along now.” Jin Zixuan said, trying for an awkward smile. “I’m glad my family is getting along.”

“You’re not good at this.” Jiang Cheng said bluntly and Jin Zixuan shook his head rapidly.

“No I’m not. Please call A-Li, the stress isn’t good for the baby, and I mean all three of us.”

“God, I hope I die alone.” Jiang Cheng sighed as he clicked on the contact and started to herd Jin Zixuan out of the gallery before the two behind them started getting handsy.

[curiosity-killed]

hua cheng, the accidental person

okay this is for @bodhimcbodeface because i can’t shut up and make this concise enough for discord. spoilers ahead yeehaw

this is...not comprehensive. i’ve written 11 tgcf fics and am generally a bit fixated on Hua Cheng as a character so. there’s definitely things missing but i tried to hit the main points that i thought of while writing? also obviously this is just my interpretation! i do not expect anyone else to be like “ah yes curio the sage is so correct i have changed my thinking on this” like go live your life with your own versions of hua cheng! this is just the hill upon which i have firmly planted myself and from which i refuse to be budged. as u do.

anyway, LONG explanation of my very niche and very uh self-indulgent, not-necessarily-support-by-canon hua cheng apologism LMAO

tl;dr: (this is really Too Long i’m sorry) I think Hua Cheng reluctantly becomes a person during his 800 years of searching, starting from a point where he views Xie Lian not as a person but as an immutable god and focus of devotion and developing into a person who doesn’t really acknowledge that he’s a person because realizing that you want to live and do things for yourself is scary and overwhelming at times, and he ultimately falls in love with Xie Lian during the novel itself as he recognizes and is in wonder of the humanity of Xie Lian instead of his divinity or absolute judgment.

POINT 1: Hua Cheng doesn’t actually fall in love with Xie Lian till the ox cart

but curio! you say, “my beloved!” he calls him his beloved! and the land of tender!!

shhh. IMO Hua Cheng is more Wuming than Hua Cheng for those 800 years. By which I mean, for most of that time he’s, at his heart, a nameless soldier trying to find and serve his crown prince/general/god. He still views Xie Lian as this perfect and immaculate figure—a sculpture, a painting, a work of art that is untouchable and immutable. And he’s utterly and wholly devoted to that figure but devotion is not the same as love

So Hua Cheng is searching and trying to serve Dianxia all these years and then His Royal Highness finally ascends and is a god again and Hua Cheng shows up in all his glory to give this power and strength and wealth to serve him and—

and he’s met not by a powerful and reckless martial god or an unstoppable calamity but by a young man dressed in bridal robes who lets Hua Cheng lead him up a darkened mountain, who doesn’t lash out with spiritual energy or a sword but instead, only eventually, with the cursed bandage he was carrying back in the darkest part of his life.

and i think that throws hua cheng. like he’s had this image of his god all these years, this divine painting made over and over and over again—and he carries that belief and devotion with him, but there’s a crack in the sculpture and the stone is starting to flake off to reveal a human underneath it

so he puts on an approachable, malleable, unassuming skin and finds xie lian collecting scraps and being a lil awkward, a lil bumbling, generous and kind — and i think hua cheng, after 800 years of knowing everything, having everything — I think he looks at this discovery with wonder

Bc tbc this does not mean Hua Cheng views them as equals. For him it’s like, dianxia has even more to him, is even more than I knew. He’s seen Xie Lian as the flower crowned martial god in all his glory and as the white-clothed calamity in all his horror — and now here he is, wonderful, multitudinous, and human

Meanwhile I don’t think Hua Cheng even views himself as a person really, much less a human.

also i mean. the internet & allo ppl prove time and time again that you don’t need love for horniness so. land of tender’s right out as proof on that

POINT 2: The Live For Me thing

so obviously and undeniably, using one person as a reason for living is....not healthy. Not going to argue that. but my take on it personally is that, when Hua Cheng’s a kid who really, actively wants to die and sees no reason for living, Xie Lian gives him a reason to keep going. he doesn’t have to live for himself—that’s too much, that’s too big of an ask—but he’s been given a command and purpose by the one person who’s been kind to him/whom he respects. it’s a little like... “My life has no meaning but my cat needs me to feed him and clean his litterbox and so I need to keep getting up and taking care of him even if I don’t see a larger intrinsic purpose to my life.”

and i think like...it’s easy to forget that for all of books 2 & 4, Hua Cheng is young. He doesn’t live past 18—he’s still like...a kid. And that’s not to say that teenagers/young adults can’t make moral and rational decisions but I’m going to be honest, when I was that age I contemplated joining the Air Force because of tuition assistance and the snazzy uniform despite the fact that I was a vocal pacifist and repeatedly got into arguments with teachers about school rules and conservative politics. It’s not like. The Most Rational and Mature Age, lbr. 

so Wuming is absolutely capable of looking at what Xie Lian is doing and being like “hey maybe war crimes aren’t a great idea” but he is young and traumatized and the one person he believes in, the one person who gave him a reason to keep going, is deadset on this task which tbh I don’t think either of them (or...necessarily...the society in which they live) views as war crimes in the modern sense (which isn’t to say that we as readers should view it any more lightly bc i think the narrative directly and firmly contradicts that idea) but as revenge, as an eye-for-an-eye. so, bad, but character-wise, I think it’s more nuanced than we sometimes consider

anyway back to the fixation on xie lian. i stand by the assertion that in those 800 years, hua cheng wasn’t exclusively focused on xie lian. like was finding and serving him his top priority? oh god yes. undeniably. there is no other version of this story. BUT eight hundred years is like....a lot of time. and i think in that time he started doing things for himself, even if under the guise of serving xie lian. hua cheng is curious and adventurous—he clearly likes to learn even if he plays it off as nbd—and i think he starts to realize that about himself in those centuries even if he doesn’t allow himself to acknowledge or consider it. 

POINT 3: Mt. Tong’lu in General

“okay, sure but what about the thousands of sculptures and murals of xie lian, curio. what the fuck about them.”

Yeah. FINE. okay we will DEAL with this. dealing with this is the entire reason i wrote “(like i do) in the tall grass.” 

disclaimer: this is probably not supported by canon! i also. Do Not care. My Ghost King Now.

so I have two general avenues I take with this:

going back to the devotion > love — when Hua Cheng reaches MTL, he’s seen xie lian beaten and cast down. what do gods need to survive? worship! we see throughout how important divine statues/portraits/etc. are throughout canon. in this interpretation, the cave is a concentration of all that worship in an effort to support and serve xie lian and hua cheng doesn’t view himself like...as part of it. the sculptures could have been carved by any hand so long as they are xie lian and the worship and devotion that goes into their making can support and bolster him.

my personal favorite version: amNESIA IN THE CAVES —okay i don’t have the text pulled up rn but y’know how Guoshi says Hua Cheng was almost dispersed, in terrible condition, etc., when he reached Mt. Tong’lu. so if baby boy is in terrible condition, barely hanging on, etc., then my immediate favorite option is that he doesn’t, at that time, have even the...uh threadbare sense of self he did in life/as Wuming and is running on only a vague and urgent sense of Something driving him—something he has to do, someone he has to serve—and in that case, the paintings and sculptures are part of his trying to piece together and process his memories as he can grasp them and figuring out who he is/what his purpose is. Is this canonical? PROBABLY NOT. and yet here i am. firmly planted on this hill

Also w/ MTL I think a thing that’s often skated over is the mortals, creation of E’ming, and his ascension. Which is important from a meta lens of Hua Cheng and Xie Lian vs Jun Wu but that’s not the point of this rambling monstrosity and i’m trying not to get too distracted. ANYWAY I think this is one of those times when Hua Cheng does something that he would probably excuse as like “well His Highness would’ve wanted me to” or “His Highness wouldn’t have been willing to sacrifice the mortals” because Xie Lian is still largely his moral compass—but it also is a peek at the complexity Hua Cheng doesn’t acknowledge within himself.

uh i got distracted anyway and no longer know what point i was making here. Hua Cheng Ascension Important....maybe i will remember this at some other point...

POINT 4: Live For Me (Revisited)

I sort of got distracted writing that point but anyway coming back to it now: I maintain that although Hua Cheng’s primary pursuit is protecting and serving Xie Lian he also does develop/realize his Accidental Personhood throughout his 800 years. this includes a lot of things, as previously stated, that are under the guise of serving Xie Lian (I’d put learning the Banyue tongue, finding out about the Gilded Banquet, collecting swords, beating the 33 officials etc., in this category) and things that maybe could be but...are not really (e.g., his friendship alliance with He Xuan, Paradise Manor* in general, the Gambling Den, learning the Wuyong tongue, bullying Qi Rong*, bullying FengQing*, playing with gold foil palaces, etc.)

(*these are ones that like...could be said to be for Xie Lian and I think he might say are for Xie Lian but also have a personal element that is just for him. 

Like yes Paradise Manor is a lavish and well-stocked residence fit for a god or crown prince...but it’s also a luxurious and extravagant collection of all the things he couldn’t have in life. it’s like giving a kid a credit card with no limit and letting them run wild through uh. Fuck. A Fancy Department Store. 

And sure Qi Rong was awful and turned on Xie Lian in pretty damning ways, but I also genuinely think part of Hua Cheng’s grudge with him is from the childhood abuse and from just...hatred that Qi Rong is around and looks like Xie Lian and gets to be there when Hua Cheng can’t find Xie Lian (which is about  Xie Lian but for Hua Cheng). 

Similarly with FengQing, sure a lot of his hate is for them abandoning Xie Lian—but he doesn’t even know till Book 3 when they abandoned him, and consider how much more he hates Mu Qing, the guy he blames for kicking him out of the army, etc. Some of it is totally “in service” to Xie Lian but some of it is because Hua Cheng carries a grudge like a goddamn pro and finds catharsis in beating the shit out of immortals who bounce back and can’t stop tripping over themselves and onto his blade.)

[zhuhongs]

Upon rereading tgcf, one of the biggest complaints I have is how lackluster all the extra chapters were. literally none of them were good and all contained rlly gross and harmful sentiments (like the amnesia one which.. yea.. or all the things implying xl should get pregnant for hc thus equating gay relationships with hetero ones and playing into the wife thing and just GOD I HATE MXTX) 

There were a lot of little plot points i wish that had been further elaborated on more in the extras as opposed to hualian being ... like that. I had enough. Like mdzs had actaully good extras (minus the incense burners) that were nice side stories that elaborated more on the characters. Like the hook one with the juniors was so cute and i loved seeing them grow more. Or the lotus pod extras omg.. im such a lotus pod extra stan. those were so cute and gave us a lot of good insight into just how lovestruck lwj was during the times when he didn’t see wwx. mxtx should've stuck to those sorta extras in tgcf but NOOO. SO I have a list of so many other more interesting things those chapters couldve been spent on like:

A resolution on He Xuan’s revenge and his character arc. Bc its implied He Xuan is still hanging out and watching over sqx and that taking revenge didn’t fully satisfy him bc ok.. yea shi wudu is dead but he xuans family will never come back. Now what does he have to live for?? i wish we couldve seen a look into his life during the entire ordeal. like a chapter from his perspective while he was posing as Ming Yi  and maybe a look at a conversation btw he xuan and the real ming yi or a chapter after SQX was banished to see what he’s doing now. Also what did he xuan owe hua cheng money for anyways?? Like ik not every little thing has to be explained but I Want to Know. PLEASE more goth boyfriend content now I just wanna see him :,((

a better resolution of yin yu and quan yizhens storyline. im still mad abt how that plot point was split btw books 3 and 5  when it was rlly out of place and  there were other more pressing plot matters and it just rlly deserved more time. Also i thought yin yu died!?!?!? but apparently one of the extras says he’s alive and man... i;m not reading any more of the extras to see that, give me a full yin yu and quan yizhen chapter.. fuck.

a day in the life of the guoshi fangxin or general hua PLEASE especially like one where hua cheng was SO CLOSE to meeting xie lian but had no clue that xie lian was there at the time but the two did smth that inadvertantly helped the other and they still were connected even though they hadnt met omg pls that’d be so nice. like imagine Hua cheng catching a glimpse of the guoshi in public in yong’an while he’s trying to follow some lead that points to xie lian or maybe following a lead to capture qi rong bc he said he knew qi rong was a part of the yong’an stuff and originally thought the guoshi was one of qi rongs pawns. like can you IMAGINE him getting so close. but at the last second he did smth small that impacted xie lian. like they bumped into eachother on the street or smth. god i’d go crazy

OR vice versa.. like a day in the life of the young ghost king hua cheng. Like again, one of my biggest issues was that hua cheng just knew everything and its never really explained how he got all of that info. like yes he’s been alive very long and has eyes and ppl working for him everywhere but like... how did he build that network?? I’d love to see a chapter of young ghost king hua cheng travelling around trying to learn as much as he can abt the world and how it can help bring him to xie lian. and the two maybe are in the same kingdom for a bit and they don’t meet exactly but hua cheng stops some fight or something and helps xie lian indirectly or maybe xie lian is performing on the street in some costume and hua cheng doesn’t recognize him and smiles and gives him a coin or smth. idk i’m just dying for any sorta extra chapter or fic like that. i’m honestly so tempted to write my own but i cant write

also!! we’ve seen how xie lian picks up people down on their luck near him and show them kindness (like banyue, lang ying, xiao ying, he tried to with san lang but we know how that ended lmao) so i’d love to see another little vignette of him doing that on his travels and how every person he meets teaches him smth about life and being a good person and idk, i just think it’d be rlly sweet. i love this facet of his character and feel like we didn’t see enough of it towards the end.

ALSO hua cheng only seems to respect one heavenly official besides xie lian and thats yushi huang.. i assume thats mostly bc she was the only one to help xie lian and let him use the rain master hat to bring water to yong’an. I was thinking maybe when he was a new supreme he had run into trouble and maybe was picked up by the rain master and helped him heal and in return he promised to help protect her village from harm in the future. Like i know a heavenly official wouldn’t cooperate with a ghost like that but yushi huang is different and doesn’t really care about the heavens so i think she would protect him if he could do something to benefit her village. ik this is kinda far fetched but when he first became a supreme I’m sure a bunch of ppl probably tried to mess with him and didn’t rlly believe him to be undefeatable bc he hadn’t proved himself yet also i doubt all his power came overnight. he had to learn how to use it once he escaped the kiln. and some group probably thought they could weaken him somehow. I’m thinking maybe a rlly well formed group of ghosts actually caught him off guard once and he had to retreat and was picked up by the rain master and stayed with her and learned from her a bit. i think it’d be a cool concept also i just rlly want more yushi huang content and i’m on their friendship agenda bc he rlly did seem to actually respect her when she first appeared and i think it’d be cool if the two had some history together.

Also idrc if this was addressed I couldve missed it But!! Did xie lian ever tell Hua cheng that the reason he got the curse shackles and was banished again in the first place wasnt bc jun wu wanted to punish him, but because he requested it. And specifically requested it bc he felt guilty abt letting wu ming take the human face disease and disperse for his sake. So he took the shackles and descended to atone for that?? Bc I dont recall hua cheng learning that bc his soul was already dispersed at that point so it didnt follow him and xie lian didnt say anything so uhhh... someone should tell hua cheng that. Like I dont think xie lian rlly said how much hua cheng meant to him and didnt show him he was loved in grand ways. Like xie lian did always care for bc in other ways but I think if hua cheng learned abt this on screen it wouldve been such a great moment and I'm rlly surprised mxtx didnt address this iirc!?!? Like imagine jun wu telling Hua cheng this in the kiln bc xie lian wouldnt say it himself. Imagine how cool that would be.

Also a small thing adding into the whole young ghost king Hua cheng stuff. Its implied and p much stated that hua cheng isnt his real name. That he likely doesnt have a real name bc his parents died? (It's not clear. I'm still mad at mxtx for not making his childhood clearer). So I'd like to see when and why hua cheng chose that name for himself. The new tgcf ending song kinda hints at its meaning with the lyrics "for you I'd fill a city of flowers" as xie lian is the flower wielding martial god so it's probably inspired by that. Also xie lian saved hua cheng from leaping off the city walls but I'd love to hear him say it bc the implication of his name didnt dawn on me for quite a bit and I dont know if everyone made the connection. Again I sure as hell didnt. So itd be cool to see a chapter that takes place in his past after just ascending as a supreme

Overall I rlly think tgcf had a lot more potential to be even better and a lot of that comes down to fleshing out the side characters and letting hualian have more of a storyline independent of one another. like i know the appeal and message of tgcf is that through love, people can overcome anything, but fuck man. i just wanna see what these two (mostly hua cheng) where like in the absence of each others presence. Part of what I really liked abt mdzs is that we got to see that longing develop btw wangxian when the two weren’t together and how they thought about each other and did things in thei others spirit bc they knew the other wouldve done the same thing. but whatever, mxtx was too consumed by her own unhealthy idea of what devotion and true love looks like but still. i rlly think the extras couldve helped the story be better rather than be fujoshi fuel that i try to bleach from my mind -_-

[sleeplesscenarios]

Jealousy is a Bitch

Characters/pairings: FengQing (background HuaLian)

Genre: fluff and fun with a hint of jealousy

Word count: 3117

Summary: Mu Qing has a new friend. Feng Xin is suspicious. Xie Lian is giving out advices while sipping tea. Hua Cheng is annoyed. Feng Xin and Mu Qing realize that no matter what, the both of them are just big idiots whose love language is fighting.

“And then do you know what they fucking said?” Feng Xin’s aggravated tone echoed all around the room of the freshly renovated Puqi shrine.

Xie Lian, put his teacup down and patiently asked, “What did they say?”

“Those assholes had the nerve to say that I’m overreacting and there’s nothing wrong with General Xuan Zhen having a new friend. I swear I’m not going to help them the next time a ghost tries to eat them.”

“You’re kind of overreacting, though,” Hua Cheng commented, sounding extremely bored and mild annoyed after having to listen to Feng Xin’s problems for so long.

“Shut the fuck up, I’m talking to His Highness, not you!”

Xie Lian cut in before those two could have continued arguing.  

“Feng Xin, what exactly is bothering you about this new friend of Mu Qing?”

“Can’t you see it, Your Highness? We’re talking about that Mu Qing! He’s the opposite of friendly, how could he suddenly get so close with that guy? Something isn’t right about this!”

“I mean... I agree that it’s unusual but even he could have a friend or two.”

“He already-” Feng Xin stopped himself, sighing and demolishing the ridiculous he already has me, he doesn’t need anyone else thought that was threatening to slip out of his lips. “Anyways, I’m telling you that something is fishy about that guy.”

Hua Cheng spoke up again, “So, what are you going to do about it?”

“What do you mean?”

“You came here to bother us because you’re worried about your crush leaving you for someone better, didn’t you? So I’m asking what you’re planning to do. Don’t tell me that you’re just going to whine to His Highness and then sulk in a corner.”

The eyes of Feng Xin twitched, “Your Highness, can I punch him just once?”

“I’m afraid that if I let you punch him; I would have to let him fight back too. And if San Lang beats you up, who would make sure Mu Qing’s new friend is harmless?”

“I hate the both of you.”

With that, Feng Xin burst out of the door, slamming it behind his back.

“Tch, gege is kindly giving him advice and he’s not even thankful...”

Xie Lian poured fresh tea for both Hua Cheng and himself. “Well, I’m sure he took the advice to his heart.”

Hua Cheng raised his brow. “Do you really think so?”  

“He didn’t deny that he has a crush on Mu Qing, did he?” Xie Lian smiled and took a sip of his tea.

*****

Feng Xin was so angry that the passing heavenly officials swore they could see steam coming out of his ears. That damned Crimson Rain Sought Flower! How dare he?! Assuming ridiculous things! He does not have a crush on Mu Qing!

Who would even have a crush on someone as boring, apathetic and hostile?!

Not Feng Xin.

Definitely not Feng Xin.

He merely visited out of worry and suspicion. But if nobody was willing to listen to him then so be it!  

“Don’t come begging to me for help when things go wrong!” Feng Xin yelled at nothing in particular and stormed into his golden palace. He passed several alerted subordinates before arriving to his bedroom where he slammed the door shut and punched the wall for good measure.

This was ridiculous.

Everything started a few months ago when the Heavens shook signaling that somebody ascended. The brand-new heavenly official was called Mo Huan and he was a martial god. Apparently, he came from the southern territories and after defeating fearful demons and selflessly protecting the mountain village where he lived, he passed a heavenly calamity and ascended. He seemed like a common little martial god, nothing too special.

Feng Xin would have never bothered to spare more than a glance to newcomers of his kind and so did Mu Qing however, this particular newcomer obviously had other plans. From the first day, he expressed great interest in General Xuan Zhen in particular. He kept babbling on and on about how he’d always visited his temples in the mortal world and that if he ever ascended, he wanted to meet him first. As expected, Mu Qing listened to him indifferently then walked off. Nothing out of the ordinary.

What was out of the ordinary was that from this day onward, Mo Huan kept following Mu Qing around like an enthusiastic puppy, claiming that he wanted to learn from him. Feng Xin expected for Mu Qing to roll his eyes and tell him off but instead what he said was, “Do as you wish.”

And thus, the suspicious friendship between the newly ascended little marital god, Mo Huan and the god of southwest, General Xuan Zhen began. At the same time, the god of the southeast, General Nan Feng’s misery of watching while seething in jealousy also began.

After the battle with the ex-Heavenly Emperor, the relationship between Feng Xin, Mu Qing and Xie Lian gradually started improving. Even without the supervision of Xie Lian, Feng Xin and Mu Qing were not always at each other’s throat. Of course, saying that they argued less would be a stretch, but instead of threatening to kill each other every time they got into an argument changed into merely fighting with words. After a year or two, the missions they took together had also increased and they found that their teamwork was actually very good so they didn’t oppose too much when they had to share the merits. They’d slowly come to realize that going together just meant that they would be able to finish earlier.  

Soon, the public relationship between the two generals wasn’t that of two generals fighting for dominance over the southern region but that of two generals guarding the southern region together.

They were almost something like partners.

And maybe, just maybe Feng Xin started to quite enjoy the company of his partner.

And now it was getting stolen away.

By that suspicious, shady asshole.

Whatever!

If Mu Qing would rather hang around that newbie, Feng Xin wouldn’t stop him. If Mu Qing was too stupid to realize that there’s something wrong with that guy, Feng Xin wouldn’t care.

*****

“I definitely do not care, I’m just giving a last warning,” Feng Xin muttered to himself while pacing in front of Mu Qing’s golden palace. “If he still won’t listen, he can die for all I care.”

Steeling his resolve and organizing his thoughts, he turned to the door, raised his hand and-

The door opened before him as Mu Qing stepped out. Their gazes met for a moment, and both of their eyes widened in surprise.

Mu Qing collected himself first, asking as he closed the door behind him, “What do you want?”

“Be careful with that new guy. He’s definitely scheming something,” Feng Xin stated. Mu Qing rolled his eyes and Feng Xin could feel the irritation growing in himself again. “I’m warning you for your sake!”

“Don’t you think that I would notice if he was ‘scheming’ something?”

“W-well... maybe you’re being a dumbass and he deceived you!”

Mu Qing’s brows twitched. “Yeah? If you’re done with calling me a dumbass then I’m going. I have a mission with him.”

Feng Xin’s entire face turned red from anger, frustration and a sense of betrayal. It was a well-known fact in the Heavenly Capital that General Xuan Zhen never ever goes on missions together with someone. He’d always been working alone. He’d only ever joined hands with Feng Xin, claiming that it’s only because their territories are very close and it’s unavoidable. Now he was saying that he was about to go on a joint mission together with that shady newbie who kept sucking up to him?  

“What’s so good about him anyways...” Feng Xin muttered through gritted teeth, a second away from exploding.

“Well for starters, he’s a lot less annoying than you.” Mu Qing turned his head to flash him a taunting smirk before leaving, his grin widening as he heard the string of curses flying from Feng Xin’s mouth.

*****

Of course, Mu Qing knew that Mo Huan wasn’t hanging around him out of the pure goodness of his heart. He had been a god for more than 800 years now. He wasn’t that easy to fool. Some might call him the most unapproachable man, why would he blindly trust someone after a bit of flattery?  

Feng Xin was truly the most annoying out of all. Mu Qing didn’t trust him for a whole 800 years, why would he ever begin to think that he’d lost all sense of reason for this new guy? Was he out of his mind?  

In any case, as the saying goes: keep your friends close and keep your enemies even closer. He would find out what Mo Huan wanted from him and deal with it himself. In the meantime, he might as well entertain himself with watching Feng Xin lose his mind over it.  

However, what Mu Qing didn’t expect was that after that warning last time, he wouldn’t be able to see Feng Xin lose his mind and flap around in frustration anymore.

*****

“And then do you know what he fucking did?”

Xie Lian took a sip of his tea as he listened to Mu Qing, feeling a strange sense of déjà vu wash over him. “What did he do?”

“He slammed the door against my face! What the fuck?” Mu Qing slammed his own teacup harshly down on the table, spilling its contents.

Hua Cheng shot him a glare, daring him to waste even a drop of the tea His Highness generously gave him. Xie Lian quickly interjected to dissolve the tense atmosphere.

“And what happened to this new martial god?”

“What do you think happened? I knocked him out. Fucking bastard, trying to steal my merits.”

“If I recall, something similar happened before, didn’t it?”

Mu Qing snorted, “It’s the third time this century. These newly ascended brats have no shame, I swear. That’s not the point. The point is that dumbass Feng Xin is throwing a temper tantrum again and if he keeps at it, I’m gonna smash down his golden palace. What the fuck is even wrong with him?”

Xie Lian and Hua Cheng shared a look.

Xie Lian nodded.

“So, what are you going to do about it?” Hua Cheng asked.

“What does it have to do with you?” Mu Qing glared.

“Gege, can I punch him just once?”

“Come at me, you bastard!”

“No fighting in my shrine.”

The two of them kept glaring daggers at each other but otherwise didn’t do anything. Finally, Hua Cheng sighed, “You came here to bother us because you’re worried about your crush refusing to talk to you, didn’t you? So I’m asking what you’re planning to do. Don’t tell me that you’re just going to whine to His Highness and then sulk in a corner.”

“None of your business, I’m leaving,” Mu Qing downed the remaining of his tea in one gulp, angrily slammed down the cup again and stormed out of Puqi Shrine.

Hua Cheng grinned. “I can’t believe this actually worked.”

“He didn’t deny that he has a crush on Feng Xin, either,” Xie Lian chuckled then poured another cup of tea for himself and Hua Cheng.

*****

Mu Qing rammed his fist on the door of Feng Xin’s golden palace, yelling, “Open up, you bastard!”

Crushing the whole thing down was a last resort but if anyone doubted that he would dare to do it, they were horribly wrong. Feng Xin had three more minutes left before his beautiful palace became one with the ground.

Who did he think he was? Giving unneeded advice, taking Mu Qing for a naïve fool then refusing to see him and sulking. It was way too unreasonable even for someone as stupid as Feng Xin. Just what the hell was wrong with him? Fucking dumbass making him think about him and worry. He totally deserved having his door bust down.  

“What are you doing here?” Feng Xin’s voice came from behind and Mu Qing turned around as fast as a strike of lightning.  

Turns out Feng Xin wasn’t home…  

In any case, Mu Qing stomped his way over and unceremoniously punched him in the face.  

Feng Xin flew a few meters back but it only took him a second to jump up to his feet and yell, “What the fuck was that you bastard?! Did you finally go insane?!”

Mu Qing caught up to him and grabbed him by the collar of his robe with two hands. “It’s the least you deserved, you shithead! Try avoiding me again and I’ll beat up your sorry ass!”

Feng Xin looked away and spat through gritted teeth, “You didn’t seem like you need my company…”

“What?” The rusty clogs in Mu Qing’s brain turned around and around before a light bulb suddenly lit up. The fists around Feng Xin’s robe loosened and his eyes widened. “Don’t tell me you’re jealous…”

Feng Xin’s cheeks reddened and his voice faltered for a second. It was only a minuscule gesture but it was more than enough for Mu Qing. “W-why would I be jealous?!”

“Are you scared of me replacing you with the newbie?” he taunted.  

“Fuck you, I don’t care who you’re hanging out with.”

“If you don’t care then why are you avoiding me?”

“Because I don’t want to see your stupid face!”

“What if I want to see your stupid face?”  

“What?”

Feng Xin saw a flicker of light passing through Mu Qing’s dark eyes and in the next moment, he felt a pair of lips press firmly against his own. His mind was wiped clear in that second and he only regained his senses when the absence of the warm lips left him with a sense of need.  

“W-w-w-what the fuck was this??”  

“A kiss, idiot,” Mu Qing rolled his eyes.  

“I’m asking why you k-k-kissed me?”

“Isn’t that obvious?”

“Fuck, Mu Qing would it kill you if you used your words for once?”

“Would it kill you if you used your brain for once?”

“…”

Mu Qing sighed, “Anyways, you don’t have to worry about Mo Huan anymore so stop avoiding me.”

“What happened?” Feng Xin got successfully side tracked. His brain was really too simple.

“Left him in a forest in the mortal world after beating him up,” Mu Qing shrugged, his grin reappearing by the sight of Feng Xin’s gaping. “What, I told you I can deal with him myself.”

“But weren’t you guys getting along? You said he’s less annoying than me?”

“Feng Xin, literally everyone is less annoying than you.”  

“F-“  

“But at least you’re not insufferable…” This time, it was Mu Qing’s turn to look away as a blush crept up on his face.

Feng Xin stared at him, completely dumbfounded before his cheeks also took on a pink hue as he slowly realized that this, in fact, was the nicest thing Mu Qing had ever said to him. He couldn’t stop his heart from fluttering.

“What’s the stupid grin for?”  

Feng Xin quickly cleared his throat and muttered a “nothing” but for some reason, he couldn’t quite wipe the smile spreading on his face even wider. In the end, Mu Qing’s embarrassment got the better of him and he promptly decided to leave.

Seeing his retreating back, Feng Xin collected himself and jogged up to him, saying, “No need to be embarrassed, I like you too.”

“Shut up.”

Feng Xin followed Mu Qing back to his golden palace.  

“Do you really like me, though? I mean... you don’t really... like people...” Feng Xin said, closing the door behind himself and meeting Mu Qing’s glare head on.

“You know what, I don’t really mind if you ignore me. Get out of my palace.”

“No way, you already kissed me.”

“So what?”

“So there’s no turning back. Finish what you stared.”

“It was you who started by being stupid and jealous.”

“That’s not the point.”

Mu Qing felt a headache coming up. “That’s exactly the point. You were a jealous sulking little bitch instead of using your nonexistent brain to figure out that I’m not a dumb 10 years old who’s so easy to fool.”

“Who are you calling a sulking little bitch?” Feng Xin’s short fuse was once again ignited.  

“Do you see anyone else here? Are you not only brainless but also blind?”

“Shut the fuck up!”

A glint flashed in Mu Qing’s eyes. Arguing with this man was really the best thing in his life. It was fun, it was interesting to examine his reactions and the way his expression changed, it kept him on his toes, it made him feel excitement instead of apathy and disgust. Above everything, it was comfortable. The two of them had been at it for more than 800 years without a break, they knew every single one of the other’s buttons to push. They were on the same level so neither of them got hurt and even if it escalated to a fight, they could just fight it out and release stress without having to worry about gravely injuring their opponent. For Mu Qing, Feng Xin was just the perfect partner.  

So when Feng Xin told him to shut the fuck up, he only smirked and said two words, “Make me.”

And as if it was all according to a script, Feng Xin grabbed him by the collar and smashed their lips together. The kiss was messy, their teeth were clashing but it was filled with unsaid passion and a weird sense of comfort.

It was only then that they could confirm what they had begun to feel already.

They’re feeling the same for each other.

They’re dealing with those feelings in a similar way.

They finally understand each other without words, and they could understand the hidden meaning behind each word.

That whatever they had to give, the other would accept it readily.

That they were equals.

*****

“Gege, they started making out,” Hua Cheng reached out a hand to show Xie Lian the image the wraith butterfly displayed. Xie Lian stared at it for second before smiling.

“It was time.”

Hua Cheng quickly dismissed the butterfly and pulled Xie Lian into his arms. “Gege’s so kind and patient for helping those two fools, they don’t deserve you.”

“I didn’t do anything. If anything, it was you who gave them a little push.” Xie Lian’s eyes sparkled with fondness. “So, that means you’re kinder and more patient than me.”

“...” Left speechless and embarrassed, Hua Cheng opted for capturing Xie Lian’s lips, feeling quite content with how everything turned out.

[youareunbearable]

Catch me not having a clue who any of these gods(?) and people are, but still sitting here like, "I ship that pretty one with the gruff one, and that brown haired one with the other(?) gruff one?" without knowing names or what this is except the fanart I see you reblog, because this fandom apparently has lots of nice art

Fam i have no idea what ur talking about or when u sent this im so sorry asfkjhfkjhf but i thiiiinnnkkkk??????? it’s “Heavens Official Blessing” or  Tiān Guān Cì Fú (TGCF for tagging stuff) its originally a chinese gay novel that is soooooooo long by the author  Mo Xiang Tong Xiu (MXTX) who wrote 2 (two?????) other novels that I know of that are also gay historical fantasy but i personally havent actually read TGCF???? im just watching the anime and looking at the wiki and reading fanfics so i have a vague idea whats going on but not really???? so i cant really give a good review BUT i LOVE THE CHARACTERS MXTX WRITES SO MUCH AFHAFKFHKFAKF IM SO SORRY IM SHIT WITH TAGGING SO U HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IM HYPER FIXATING ON BUT

LISTEN

LISTEN 

LISTEN

Pretty one and the gruff one im THINKING is He Xuan (or Ming Yi/ Ming-Xiong/Ming Bro) for the grumpy one and Shi Qingxuan for the pretty one and both are kinda gender fluid?? (more Shi Qingxuan but they both change their forms to be both women and men which is Iconic and the anime put her in the TRANS FLAG COLOUR instead of her canon white and green which is ICONIC) AND THHEYRE SO TRAGIC AND HOT AND I CRY JUST THINKING ABOUT THEIR STORY LIKE AFHDFKJAFDSGS like i want to kinda read the book just for them, the two super minor characters, but i also read somewhere that their story doesn’t really have a clean ending so im also holding back from just getting Emotionally Hurt because im a cancer and i know it’ll wreck me

I think The Two Gruff Idiots are Feng Xin (dark haired gruff boy) and Mu Qing (brown haired gruff boy) and theyre both martial gods and both knew each other for over 800 years and both tried to take care of Actual Human And Heavenly Disaster Xie Lian, failed, and tried to do it again 800 years later but with stupid glasses with moustaches in hopes that Xie Lian cant figure out that they care about him but OOPS Xie Lian does in fact have the braincell of the three of them fajfafjajf 

Heres the link to watch the anime, there are 11 eps rn but it updates every weekend (I dont actually know when but i watch it on sundays) Make sure u have ur ad block on tho lol there is a manga too and the art style is TO DIE FOR like its GORGEOUS but its roughly at the same pace as the anime so eh

Heres where to read the whole thing online, just a warning its BIG AS FUCK like 244? plus extras I think?? 

I’d also recommend MXTX’s other books!

Mo Dao Zu Shi (or Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation/ The Untamed/MDZS) is both a Book as well as an Anime (the whole thing is on youtube) , a Live Action which you can watch on Netflix (look up Untamed, also a warning, the plot is a little different from the book and anime cause of uhhh censorship?? also i guess to make it more live drama friendly, my friends an i binged it and really liked it, but some of the fandom doesn’t), a manga which is not finished I think???? idk im not caught up, and a fucking chinese AUDIO DRAMA LIKE BITCH ITS SO WELL DONE but i have to stop listening sometimes cause like there is a difference between watching/reading characters kiss, and then like just hearing them, i get so embarrassed i have to skip the kissing scenes and god forbid i accidentally click on the smutty extras alfjajlfjalfjaljf u can find it on youtube, i linked the one i listen to but i havent finished it and i don’t think it’s all of it, but you can find other episodes/chapters easily

Its about 1 Dumb Yet So Smart gay/bi man (Wei Wuxian) who honestly tries his fucking best, fucks up everything, dies for over a decade, and then is forcefully brought back to life to solve a murder mystery with the guy who has been in Super Gay Love with him since they were teens (Lan Zhan), a bunch of teens Who Are Just Honestly Here For A Good Time And Yet (Lan Juniors, Jin Ling, and Best Boy Ouyang Zizhen ) while badly hiding his real identity from all the people he knows, including his foster brother (Jiang Cheng) who is out for blood and hunting his ass down with a whip and also Lan Zhan who is travelling with him. Also the Killer. There is a killer on the loose and is willing to murder whoever to keep their secrets. Also Nie Huaisang. I adore him and his brother Nie Mingjue, if there is one bitch u gotta remember from this summary it’s this little twink (he and his brother also have a fucking spin off movie from the live action drama THAT I HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO FIND A ENGLISH SUB VERSION AND ITS BEEN KILLING ME SINCE I STARTED WATCHING THIS SHOW LAST YEAR. GOOGLE GIVE ME MY FAVOURITE TWINK AND HIS BEAR OF A BROTHER HAVING A FUN FAMILY ROAD TRIP!!!!!!!)

My Personal Current Favourite is Scum Villain’s Self Saving System (SVSSS) which is SOOOOOOO FUNNY Like it’s not as popular cause the comic was discontinued, and the anime looks like its from 2005 with the weird 3D animation but its my current comfort media!!! 

Its basically about a spite reading millennial (Shen Yuan) who died after reading a REALLY awful popular cheesy smut harem novel (think like 50 shade series but worse cause the protag had 600 wives) and was forced into the body of a minor but important villain (the protagonist’s teacher, Shen Qingqiu) from the novel who was fated to die with all his limbs cut off and his eyes and tongue plucked out and is told he has to fix the story so its not trash, he reasonably freaks the fuck out and hugs the protagonists (Luo Binghe) thigh so hard he turns him gay without realizing. Sadly, he does have to make sure certain plot points happen, which fucks him over a lot,  and he thinks Luo Binghe still wants to kill him instead of love him cause he has the Emotional Intelligence of a Rock, but its so funny reading about him handling all the awful tropey stuff, like imagine u have to be a character in My Immortal But With Porn?????? without breaking out of character too much?? I wouldn’t be able to handle it ajhakfkfhjfj He also finds out that he’s not the only transmigrator in the novel either, but it doesn’t matter cause theyre both So Fucking Stupid Collectively but everyone would honestly die for the both of them

warning for this story though, the main relationship is a teacher/student relationship, but nothing happens until the student is in his 20s and also kinda not his student anymore cause he’s running hell??? but if that squicks u out i totally understand and offer you to PLEASE still enjoy some of this media, and instead of the BingQiu ship, I offer you the LiuQiu one, where both me and the main character cry over how a beautiful man/fellow immortal lord loves the main character so much that he literally fought every day for 5 years to be by his side and I Think Thats Beautiful and I kinda like this ship more than the main one tbh PLEASE just look at the art for Liu Qingge because i love him so much, he’s like if you took Lan Zhan and Jiang Cheng from MDZS and mashed them into one beautiful man the author is trying to tell me is straight but u take one look at him And Tell Me Otherwise

[khaotungsfirst]

ali‘s embarrassing celebrity crushes throughout the years

thank you to @fengqing for wanting me to expose myself, i hope y’all don’t judge me too much 🥴i had to go through my archive to remember most of these cause as fast as these crushes hit me sometimes, some of them went away just as quickly.

tagging: @schnaf @manhasetardis @morifinwes @xiaodaozhang​ @huigusu​ @yibocrisis​

ok here we go, putting it under a read more cause this got long

MEN (since 2006)

tom kaulitz nothing more attractive to 10 year-old me than this 15 year-old with dreadlocks and pants that hit the floor askdjhgkjfdg

joseph gordon-levitt i..... can’t even explain this?? lmao.. i mean inception was and is my favourite movie but not because of him so like??

niall horan niall girls unite!! i was a niall girl until i got into larry and then that was all i cared about for a long time ksadjgkdf but i still love him!

dan howell he was funny and british, that’s it

dylan o’brien listen every teen wolf fan was mainly there for him, don’t even lie about it

seb stan holy shit i was crushing on him so hard after the winter soldier came out. he was the epitome of perfection to me! this was a big one for me but it went downhill once he started growing out his hair afgkjdfgjkd retrospectively i’m not sure if i was only thirsting after him because everyone else on my dash was doing it (also does anyone remember political animals??)

dane dehaan oh god..... listen, it’s all the fault of the amazing spiderman 2! also his look is so versatile like in some photos he looks really nice and in others..... 😬yikes lmao skdjgfdk idk man

loïc nottet this was a short-lived crush but he absolutely killed it at the 2015 esc and tumblr went wild over him so... 🤷🏻‍♀️

marc bartra so we’re getting into football players now and just look at him! he joined my favourite team (bvb) and i immediately loved him cause he made such an effort to integrate himself. after the team bus was attacked and he got injured my love for him only increased. he just seems so sweet and nice aaahh

niklas stark idek how i came to know abt him cause he plays for hertha which i don’t care abt aksjgjghjf but he has such a beautiful smile i think that’s what got me

andré silva i just thought he looked neat (still does but he doesn’t blow me away anymore)

héctor bellerín 2016 bellerín?? oof!! don’t look him up on google tho, he’s had a lot of... questionable hair and fashion choices throughout the years 🥴the way we all dragged him for it was really funny tho. i still love him he’s a great guy always supporting good causes

arón piper listen earrings and curly hair maketh the man

matthías tryggvi haraldsson once again a crush resulting from esc. he was my icon before i turned into a mdzs blog. i don’t even think he’s super attractive, i just love the contrast between hatari matti and normal matti

harry styles i’ve given in to the harry supremacy propaganda. he really is my favourite 1d member these days, musically-wise and looks-wise

bill kaulitz we’ve come full circle!! nowadays bill is my favourite kaulitz twin. it’s funny cause they literally have the same face so it all just comes down to how they present themselves and bill is just my preference

MEN (recently/currently)

wang yibo i don’t even have words!!! his look, his personality, his talent just!!! I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM!! (as we all do) (also big genvy causer)

lesbian yibo this gets a separate bullet point cause i had this realisation like two weeks after falling for regular yibo but oh boi am i gay for her

xiao zhan he’s just.. so pretty and lovely. i thought about putting wwx into the fictional characters category cause i think xz looks the prettiest as wwx but xz as a person just seems so nice and down to earth that i had to put him here

bright (vachirawit chivaaree) a baby!!! his smile is so pretty and overall he gives off very ~soft~ vibes. also how does he look so good when crossdressing??

boun (noppanut guntachai) once again the jewellery got me. boys with earrings really will be my downfall one day... (this is not to say that he isn’t pretty without them, his face is also very much up there on reasons why i stan him)

tul (pakorn thanasrivanitchai) get you a man who is as comfortable in his masculinity and sexuality as tul

felix lee will i ever get over the dissonance between his looks and his voice?? probably not. also he’s just a fucking cutie

hyunjin felix might be my bias (oh god i’m starting to speak in kpop lingo) but i’m also kinda simping for him, what can i say?

WOMEN (sadly not as many but you know, heteronormativity)

scarlett johansson literally everyone on this planet thinks she’s hot and they’re right (yeah she’s kinda problematic but i can still appreciate her looks)

halsey remember when halsey used to kiss her fans at her concerts?? completely unrelated to that, i really wanted to go to one of her concerts..... 🙃 also i once dyed my hair blue bc of her

kiko mizuhara she was fancast as blue from the raven cycle so many times and i was so on board with it cause in my head she fit the character perfectly but maybe that’s just because i thought she was really really beautiful and wanted to see more of her 🤷🏻‍♀️

rihanna i mean... c’mon

michelle phan oh man this goes way back.. she was one of the first youtubers i watched in like 2010 before i even played with makeup myself. she just always gave off such calming vibes and she seems so nice. also look at her 😍

zendaya oof zendaya is a big one for me. she’s just so fucking beautiful just... how?? what??? i- AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

lena i started actively following her on ig after she released her last album in 2019 (which is great btw) and... damn girl do i want to be you or date you??

xuan lu oh god she’s so adorable but then also so hot but then also so etheral but then also so cute but then also so beautiful but then also s-

FICTIONAL CHARACTERS

stefan salvatore (tvd) gotta love how even at 14 i already knew not to make the toxic choice 😊

legolas (lotr) if you didn’t have a legolas phase you’re lying

draco malfoy (hp) if villain bad then why sexy?

anakin skywalker (star wars) if villain bad then why sexy? 2

noora amalie sætre (skam) she’s just really pretty, ok? the red lipstick didn’t help either...

chris p (skam) if villain bad then why sexy? 3 (ok he’s not a villain but he’s an asshole)

tokio (money heist) hhnnnnnnnggggggg girl with a gun make brain go brrr

wen qing (the untamed) funny how in the show i’m simping for wq but irl i prefer xuan lu... someone explain that to me. but anyways, she’s pretty, she’s fierce, and she looks fucking hot in red

[razberryyum]

Untamed Concert Thoughts

I love that when the MC asked Lin Hai-laoshi, the composer, what inspired him when he created the music for The Untamed, his answer was his love for the show. I think he also mentioned the love he felt for MDZS or the love he felt in MDZS (my Chinese fluency is not the best). Basically, what inspired him was LOVE.  

It’s kind of amusing in a sad way how Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo had to maintain like a foot distance between them at all times, while like right next to them Wang Zhuocheng and Yu Bin were attached at the hip. At one point some of the guys even had their arms around each other, while XZ and WYB were still like “WE MUST BE A RULER APART ALWAYS”. It’s a shame they always have to be hyperaware now of their interactions with each other so they don’t set off any alarms with their government or overexcite fans who ship them too much already. 

Case in point, the audience went nuts when the camera kept cutting to the two of them chit-chatting while the actress who plays Wang Lingjiao (Lu Enjie) was recounting the most memorable scene she shot in the show. I actually felt bad for her since she had no idea why the audience were going crazy, and she was interrupted twice. At the same time, I don’t blame the camera man for doing that since I’m sure most people were there to see these two interact.  It’s just fascinating how the two actual players involved are being super careful while everyone around them are like fuck censorship and discrimination, let’s give the fans what they want!

It hit me that this is probably the last group photo they’ll ever take. I really wish Xuan lu (Shijie) and Meng Ziyi (Wen Qing) could’ve been there. 😢😢😢

Ok, I got emotional when Zheng Fanxing (Sizhui) started crying...the juniors hugging got to me too. 

The connection got too laggy for me to screencap but when Song Jiyang appeared for his dance, I was like, holy shit I think he just murdered a bunch of people with that get up...the ponytail!!!...and then when he added the blindfold, I think he murdered even more people.

I love how they play each piece of score in between performances!

I so absolutely love the different music arrangements for Jiang Cheng’s chara song (and the Yi City group’s theme song (Lone City), and the duet version of Inappeasable (Shijie’s Lotus Pier song) that again, I really, REALLY hope they release these performances as tracks we can buy, or the whole concert as a DVD. I WANT to spend my hard-earned money on a clean version of these songs, dammit!

The connection of course became utter shit during XZ and WYB’s performances; I guess everyone who paid for their eticket finally decided to watch the show in the last stretch. I was so worried for both of them while they were on that moving platform...it looked precarious. I think WYB even stumbled a little in the beginning when it started moving. 

I’m not gonna say anything about WYB’s ensemble. I’m just gonna be nice and hope that he actually liked it and it wasn’t just his stylist deciding for him. Overall though, I liked their outfits for tonight’s performance. 

I really only saw like a minute of Bu Wang, Songs End with Chenqing and Wuji because the connection just kept on freezing. I guess it’s back to looking for fancam vids for these performances...or hopefully they’ll be up on WeTV english.

The audience reciting Wei Ying’s last line to Lan Zhan before they parted on the hilltop was really awesome. When they did an audience shot, some people were crying. I feel them. 

I lost it when everyone was saying good-bye as their characters (although I did chuckle when the stagehand made sure to push XZ and WYB together in the center, apart from the others...so much for the ruler gap)..and of course, when it almost got to Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo saying their good-byes, the connection cut out...I read that he said “Yunmeng Jiang, Wei Wuxian, bid you farewell.” I wish he had gone for it and said instead “Gusu Lan, Wei Wuxian, bid you farewell”, but I know I might as well have wished for the moon.

I had no sleep at all, gonna try to get some now at 7 am, but still, so glad I got to watch most of the concert live. 

Thank you, Untamed/陈情令, for all the wonderful memories this summer, and all the new memories and joy you will bring me in the future as I revisit you again and again and as the result of your existence.

[mousehole5000]

wow i made this draft on november 1st i really took a break from this huh anyway tgcf chapters 121 - 142

i realize now this coffin scene was inevitable. feel kinda weird about hua cheng  back and forth from Teen to Big Man but it is very funny that theyre having their “dude dont look at my boner” moment while in the jaws of a water dragon

pei ming: why didnt you guys make a bigger coffin so you didnt have to squish together like that? xie lian: haha yep!! anyways what brings you here?

“In the grand, spacious centre of the entrance hall sat a person. And this person, dressed in all black, its face snow-white—was a corpse! Instantly Xie Lian shut the doors soundly.” - king of minding his own business.

okay this is where i stopped putting notes here for a while but i did save some in my e-reader so here’s some of the highlights

“Guzi used to have a good sleeping form, but perhaps with his cheap dad’s bad influence, now he was also spread out on top of Qi Rong’s stomach like a dead fish. Lang Ying himself was curled neatly in the corner, and was covered by a few shirts. Xie Lian lifted the blanket covering Qi Rong, suppressed the urge to smother his face, and covered the two small children.” - xie lian funny moments. also it would be really funny if qi rong redeems himself by learning love through these misfit chiildren and it might actually endear me to him but i hope that doesnt happen

Every heavenly official was yelling, and even Ling Wen was throwing a fit. “DON’T THROW EVERY BIT OF USELESS INFORMATION MY WAY, HOW MUCH DO YOU THINK I HAVE TO GO THROUGH EVERY DAY? DON’T YOU ALL KNOW TO USE YOUR BRAINS A LITTLE BEFORE ASKING ME?!” - ling wen marry me right now

“An expression like “seen a ghost” that only mortals experienced was now showing on his face for the first time. Shi Wudu’s pupils shrank to the smallest they could, and he blurted, “You’re still alive?!” “I’m dead!” He Xuan said coldly.” - okay everythings going tits up rn but i did laugh

i did see spoilers re: ming yi/he xuan reveal + shi wudu’s fate beforehand so i dont have a genuine reaction other than oh shit

“He slowly enunciated each word. “I won’t touch your fate. But, here in this place, chop off your brother’s head for me.”  CLANG! He threw a rusty blade onto the ground. Shi Qingxuan stared at that blade, his eyes wide. He Xuan continued, “Then, never show yourself before me again, and I will pretend you’ve never existed in this world.” - okay idk what else is going to happen but rn im concerned that this is like the 2nd biggest ship. i guess we’ll see?? i mean i am really curious whats going to happen to them. shi qingxuan keeps calling he xuan “ming-xiong” and i... sad

shi wudu im not really invested in you as a character but these next two bits... interesting

“If I don’t die but have nothing, then that’s truly a fate worse than death. If I’m not the Water God, I can’t take care of you. I won’t even be able to protect myself. I’m scared that we won’t even last two days…TAKE IT!” - damn. something about the wealthy losing everything and not knowing how to live without it bc thats their entire life and identity

“EVERYTHING I HAVE TODAY, I FOUGHT FOR MYSELF. I WILL FIGHT FOR WHAT I DON’T HAVE. I WILL CHANGE FATE I DON’T POSSESS. MY FATE IS UP TO ME AND NOT THE HEAVENS!” - okay so the whole committing spiritual fraud by tormenting a man and his family to get your brother a cushy title thing aside this was kind of badass. heretical? possibly. but still. also is he intentionally riling up he xuan so sqx doesnt have to kill him? if so damn...

also okay as long as im here im just gonna say it. the choice that he xuan gives shi qingxuan is fucking brutal but i actually think its probably as fair as it could be. sqx didnt know about or participate in what happened to hx but they did benefit from it greatly while hx lost EVERYTHING and i can understand he xuan’s thinking of “if you really feel bad for what happened to me then you have to make a sacrifice and understand the suffering and this is as clean as its going to get” and theres a bit where sqx is trying to beg for mercy but cant get the words out which im guessing is bc theres no good argument!! what happened was fucked up!!

“When Pei Ming saw that reinforcements had arrived, he didn’t appear particularly delighted; instead he threw the sword into the ground, then rubbed his nose and said, sounding grim, “You all just had to come just as I finished making these, what the heck.” - pei ming making coffins chopping down trees with his sword i love it #wastehistime2k17

“Xie Lian brought that basket of eggs along, and gave them away as souvenirs from the mortal realm. Many who received the eggs were overjoyed; some deciding to eat it along with their own blood, and some proclaiming they would hatch an eight-foot monster.” - GHOST CITY GHOST CITY

“Placing the brush down, he blew lightly at the ink and smiled. “If I like something, then my heart will not have room for any other, and I’ll always treasure it. A thousand times, a million times, no matter how many years, this will not change. This poem is the same." - thats nice and all but king... get therapy. i actually have further thoughts but tbh i dont want to put them into words bc they are simply too personal! moving on

didnt take any notes but somewhere in here was the bit with mount tong’lu opening and hua cheng losing it and kind of um. hm. that scene. thats another trope i really hate tbh i dont care for it as a way of including physical intimacy between characters and idk if it really ever adds anything but whatever moving on

The Half-Maquillage Woman - kind of interesting monster idea bc women and aging…. yeah. however i think this would be a lot stronger if there were a) more girls and this was b) discussed or illustrated at all prior to this moment. still interesting that its included knowing the author is a woman tho and there’s been comments on how ling wen is perceived vs pei ming. this book does keep giving me hope for interesting female character arcs i really want it to deliver something

quan yizhen..... i get u

lmao i have a note on a bit with lang ying that says “please dont be hc in disguise” and..... my clown nose was on but at least i knew that. for real this is bothering me how much he’s just. always. there. i know he’s a lead but we didn’t really need him around for a lot of this. oh well.  okay now to my current notes

“Yet it was precisely because it wasn’t cooked that it had to be eaten quickly. Once Xie Lian cooked it, it wouldn’t be edible anymore” - fucking fantastic

“Xie Lian hugged his belly. “Of course! Only after having met you did I rediscover that it’s such a simple thing to be happy, hahaha…” Hearing this, Hua Cheng blinked. Xie Lian’s laughter quieted a bit, realizing what he just said was a little too revealing.” - okay i know i said what i said about being tired of hua cheng being everywhere but... the line…. the fact that theyre laughing together…. :pleading:

“It’s not,” Ling Wen said. “At least, I believe, there will definitely not be another in history who can create a dish called ‘Incorruptible Chastity Meatballs’” - and truer words were never spoken

“I, DO NOT WORSHIP GODS. “I, AM GOD!” - this was every bit as badass as i hoped but no one told me it was immediately followed up by a little bit of the ol dinner theater fjalkdsfjsd. also puqi shrine noooooooooo

“Xie Lian sighed as he thought, “Qi Rong has taken Guzi away, who knows if the poor child was eaten or abandoned. Wind Master...... ..... who knows if Black Water took him away. Pray they’re both safe.” yeah hey are we going to fucknig. find out what happened to the child???

and yeah i dooooont really care for the age regression? thing thats going on. i just dont like that trope tbh. but tiny hua cheng whipping out his fat ghost king wallet in the store was funny tho. it is really funny that hualian are just like wandering around some random towns while the heavens are in an uproar. i guess theres not much else to do but its funny

“Me too, me too. You all know of my shixiong, right? Talented, with an infinite future! He only had one small vice: he loved playing women. Decades ago, a little prostitute ghost seduced my shixiong and sucked him dry into human jerky, and that Hua, Hua, Hua, that ghost king dared shelter her.” - yes omg give me the forbidden hua cheng lore i love this for him for real it goes along nicely with xie lian’s principles about giving another cup. god i love shared values

“Hua Cheng poked again, and a small hole appeared on the wall, as if the wall was made of tofu.” - how’d he do that. why is this a ghost king power. its useful tho

*me shaking qi rong when he pops up* WHERE IS THE CHILD

mu qing fu yao is here okay im happy now. once again no one has a good grasp on their secret identity and i love that. this inn has descended into chaos and im delighted and im glad lan chang is back

“The good ol’ kitchen was suddenly squished and crowded, loud and noisy. Fu Yao was chasing that fetus spirit leaping up and down, Lan Chang was chasing after Fu Yao like she had gone mad. Half of Qi Rong’s face changed shape by the way Xie Lian was pressing him down on the chopping board, his back turning into a target for those yellow talismans Fu Yao hurled while being observed by a crowd, and Lan Chang would step on him from time to time.” - this is pure chaos. i love that mu qing was in that room when the mob checked and he didnt say a word didnt open the door just sent out a talisman as a warning. king your disguise is transparent

“Xie Lian remembered the way Feng Xin laughed until he was hoarse when he first heard that verbal password all those years back, and couldn’t help but feel nostalgic, even though it wasn’t the right time.” - awwwww omg im emotional about this... faithful friend feng xin laughing at xie lian’s stupid joke password and remembering it!!! ;_;

“They have, but they’re not effective,” Feng Xin said. “Usually they’re the most diligent in scorning the Palace of Ling Wen, like they could do the job way better if they had the position. Now that we need them to take up the task, not a single one can do even half of what she does.” - typical... typical typical typical

also emotional about the fact that feng xin contacted xie lian at all.....

also!! emotional about lan chang as a mom and wanting to help out sick lil guzi.....

xie lian forcing “fu yao” to let him help “his general” is making me.... what is friendship if not playing along with your buddies little shenanigans while also making them accept your help

“Someone like Mu Qing, even though he’s narrow-minded, petty, sensitive and skeptical, has a bad personality, constantly guessing, doesn’t say nice things, likes to nag, always offending people and has a lot of people who dislike him, has no friends, can remember small, unimportant details for a long period of time…” ”Xie Lian went on in one breath with a straight face, but in the end he concluded with, “...But I’ve known him since we were kids, after all, he’s still got principles.” - XIE LIAN PLEASE AFJDLKSFJDL omg ive seen this quote before but i figured he was talking to someone else not actually to mu qing himself fgjasdkfjsl. god thats amazing. hey im gonna help you out because i care but i will roast you first <3

waaaaaait so is lan chang aka jian lan that girl from book 2 we took a page to talk about and then disappeared? that has to be it why else would we have stopped to discuss her

“Jian Lan spat on his face, then choking his neck, she slapped him twice again. “WHAT SHITTY SUPREME! YOU SURE KNOW HOW TO BLOW YOURSELF UP! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, THINK YOU’RE EVEN WORTH TO BE THOUGHT OF AS EQUALS WITH THE OTHER THREE SUPREMES? WHAT ARE YOU EVEN GOOD AT? YOUR THICK SKIN? OF COURSE I DARE HIT YOU!” - oh this feels so good i cant lie. YES GET HIM!! CHOMPING AND VIOLENCE YES!!!!

okay this description of cuocuo.... im... that sure the hell is a creature

this book is so entertaining bc i already saw spoilers for the feng xin/jian lan/cuo cuo reveal and yet i could never have predicted the circumstances that brought it about. imagine being feng xin. the heavens are in an uproar and your only friend/enemy has been jailed for possible fetus spirit-related crimes but he escapes along with this female ghost who keeps causing problems. you figure “fuck it lets see if dianxia kept his old phone number” and he has but then he hangs up on you. you’ve got fuckall else to do so you go find him. mu qing is there but he’s in his disguise the two of you were using so you could watch over his highness while staying aloof. you think you see hua cheng only he’s a chiild for some goddamn reason but who knows at this point. the female ghost is also there and theres a fetus spirit climbing trees and biting your arrows in half. you realize the female ghost is your ex and the little demon is your son. it bites you. what do you do

amazing that despite everything going on everyone is still playing along with the “fu yao” persona when it would probably be easier to drop pretenses at this point. then again tbh if i could explain my actions to my friends while pretending to be a third party.... i probably would so.. carry on

“With all his devotees gone, only Feng Xin still treated him like the Flower-Crowned Martial God and His Highness the Crown Prince. ” “...his protection charms were all seen as trash. However, Feng Xin was still determined and tireless in handing them out; telling Xie Lian, look, you still have devotees.” “After all, he was the darling of the heavens since birth, high and mighty. Feng Xin so naturally spun around him like he was the world, so how could he possibly have his own life, his own heart” “Whether or not that fetus spirit was Feng Xin’s son, if it was that period of poverty that made Feng Xin lose the girl he loved, Xie Lian wouldn’t be able to forgive himself no matter what." ohhhh my god this relationship i. im...

oh my god i still have 30 more chapters until book 4............ its naptime now i think

[crystalelemental]

General status update for Dragalia Lost progress.

I’m getting my shit rocked at this point.  Not as bad as you think, but still pretty bad.

Every team is now at least 30k might.  So that’s pretty decent, definitely satisfied there.  We can beat every Expert Agito fight on co-op, which is also really nice.  We have not yet beaten a single Master level fight of them, however.  Which is distressing, to say the least.

Maybe I’ve over-emphasized the Shadow Agito weapons, but we really only have resources from Kai Yan left.  I focused on the trees, and have capped out Light, Shadow, and Wind.  Water I need to gather tier 1 drops, and Fire has another 5 upgrades now, so that’s fun.  But I don’t like farming them too much, so I’ve been making Dragon weapons for the non-Shadow teams, using the weekly bonus drops from the High Dragon Trials.  It’s been going alright.  Once I can get the Light Wand to 4 unbinds I’ll be satisfied.  I’m not about to spend resources upgrading the 5-8 unbinds, though.  Those are for Damascus Ingots, no matter how long it takes to farm them out.  Sure I need like 16 and currently have 2, but we’ll get there eventually and I’m willing to be patient on this one.

The main trouble is the Mercurial Gauntlet.  I’m four clears away from having the maximum amount of Eldwater I can get per month.  Yes, that’s only like 1900 eldwater, and that’s really not that much anyway, but I feel like it’s the principle of the matter and I’d like to get there before the payout this month.  Which is proving challenging.

Water is basically deadlocked, in large part because I only have maxed out Chimera weapons on them.  I can’t bring myself to upgrade further than that.  Farming Agito resources isn’t fun, and fuck the High Mercury fight.  To make matters worse, I’m...not exactly sold on the current team.  I have Gala Elisanne, and have been trying to make use of her.  While her attacking skill does incredibly good damage, it...really does not go off very often, so I’m not sure I like it that much.  Pinon and Lily are solid offensive support, but I’m also not that invested in either.  And Nurse Aeleen is...mana spiral when?  The point is, if I’m going to change them out, farming out Agito resources and the rupees needed to make those weapons is asking a lot.  So they’re my weakest team by far, and will likely stay that way until I can figure out what the hell I’m doing.

Wind team is solid.  Maribelle is great for offensive damage with Vayu, while Kirsty and Valentine’s Melody have great poison-focused damage output as well.  I run Akasha for right now, but honestly might swap to Formal Noelle once I can complete her last few mana nodes.  The added damage from Poisoned Punisher is really, really nice, and while I enjoy the faster skill charge from Akasha’s S2, it only happens like twice in the entire two-minute fight with Roy Fafnir.  Which is pretty bad, actually!  Akasha’s another I feel like kinda needs a Mana Spiral.  Maybe one day.

Light’s pretty good too.  Gala Zena, Yukata Curran, Radiant Xuan Zang, and I recently had to make the tough call to swap out Odetta for Summer Cleo.  Triple paralysis focus.  The DPS is strong, but also just slightly under where it needs to be.  I blame this largely on a lack of good dragons.  Seriously, we have Gala Thor, and he’s great, but my only other options are High Jupiter, Cupid, Liger, and Tie Shan Gongzhu.  Whose skill haste is nice, I will admit.  But lacking any unbinds is kinda painful for the overall might.  It sucks seeing your same-element dragon be applied and your might go down a few hundred points from just running Gold Fafnir.  We’re really close to beating the next step, but we’re gonna need a lot more than that to clear four rounds.

Basically, if either Wind or Light can clear their remaining rounds, we’ll make it to max eldwater rewards.  If Water clears, we’d still need one more.  So I’m focusing my efforts on Wind and Light.  And to that end, I’m considering using up my Sunlight Stones.

The big considerations are Vayu, and Tie Shan Gongzhu.  Both of them have no unbindings at all.  Vayu feels more valuable, given the raw damage output that another 20% increase to skill damage and however much strength we gain would do for Maribelle, who stacks skill haste and has Akasha to speed up those skills’ activation.  Tie Shan Gongzhu is mostly because Light is the closest element to clearing what we need, and she might push us over that edge.  I could also start working on farming out Cupid essences.  With ten days left, I won’t quite make max unbinding, but since we have two already we could at least make it to three, which could help.

That said, there’s another option that involves focusing entirely on Wind team.  4 stones to Vayu, two to Mids Zero, and two to Ariel.  That caps out all the dragons being used on Wind team, and would increase a lot of skill damage and skill haste effects being used.  Unfortunately that spends everything at once.  Which isn’t exactly ideal.  I know Sunlight Stones should probably be saved for Gala dragons, and in particular my Gala Poseidon should probably take them since he’s the only other Gala dragon I have.  And then there’s the fact I’d be doing all of this for like 1900 eldwater, and you get more than that just pulling a 4* duplicate unit.  So it’s probably not worth it.  But I am tempted.

Beyond that, it’s mostly just focusing on structures at this point.  I’ve pretty much given up on Master Agito.  It takes forever to even get into a room for one, and you lose pretty much immediately every time anyway.  It’s just not fun at all, and I have no desire to keep pushing for it.  The only other content I’m now stuck on is the Tier 3 raid battles in the current event.  Which I think counts as an Astral battle, so I’m working on getting Void weapons for the Light team up to 5 unbinds, so they can all pack Astral Bane, in hopes that helps.

I’ve spent a ton of stamina resources on farming out elemental orbs and the insignias from Imperial Onslaught.  I’ve capped both Lance, Staff, Wand, and Bow dojos, and am working on dagger and axe.  Those have direct benefits for Shadow team, Wind team, and Light team.  Less directly, it also helps Water team.  I don’t have a single Blade unit or Manacaster unit, and the only Sword unit now is Lea on Fire team, so that one can wait.  I’ve also got one of each elemental altar maxed out, so we’re approaching the point where individual character might is kinda hitting its limit.  Which is good, less to fuss about.

Last thing to note: I have 4 tenfold summon tickets, 30 single pull summon tickets, and over 10k wyrmite.  Which is not even nearly enough for a spark.  Fortunately, I also can’t say I’ve cared about anything since Formal Noelle.  And given the talk about Persona 5 crossover, and Gala Chelle likely not being for a few months, I’m pretty confident I’m in the clear.  With any luck, the pushback about wyrmite output being cut nearly in half will cause them to up their game again, and it won’t take so long to gather resources.  It’s probably because of that, but man, I remember people talking about this game as if it were the most generous thing in the world, and it very does not feel that way at all between limited summoning resources, AND not even getting a single free summon like you do in FEH.