#it was real and loving and supportive

[the-woman-upstairs]

It really does hurt that both Louis and Armand have conversations with Claudia and Madeline about the burgeoning relationship between the two women and see what a supporting, devoted, loving, and mutual companionship can be, harshly reminded that it’s not what they have with each other.

[anna-scribbles]

let him speak

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[mroddmod]

villain and violent; infant and innocent

[slfcare]

the most difficult thing about growing as a person socially, as in getting out of your shell and noticing that you are, is that there will still be times when it doesn’t feel like you’ve grown at all! times when you can’t really connect with anyone around you, times when you fail to enter into an existing conversation, times when you say the wrong thing (or nothing at all when in hindsight you probably should’ve). but that’s also kind of the best thing, because that’s the thing that helps you realize that sometimes, it’s not you or your lack of skills or any shortcoming. sometimes certain environments just aren’t for you and certain people aren’t your people, and that’s okay. that’s human. it’s okay to not feel the progress you have made all the time.

[jesncin]

Jessica Cruz de-stressing among the stars prompt for DC Gotcha For Gaza (requests closed now)! Based this one off of her DCSHG look because it's peak to me haha.

[bixels]

Taking the current topic as an excuse to ask you to tell me all the reasons you love Rarijack. Your art for the ship is so sweet and intimate I'd love to hear any in depth thoughts you have.

Breathes in.

I think what makes their dynamic really strong is that they have opposing personalities but aligned values. It's deeper than just "opposites attract." Rarity's fancy, prissy, and femme while Applejack's modest, rough, and "masculine." But both value hard work (to the point of being workaholics), their families (both have guardianship over their little sisters), running successful businesses, and eventually each other. Their relationship can be boiled down to, "Despite our differences/disagreements, I still like you because we value the same things."

We see their relationship develop so much. In the first season, they can't stop bickering about surface-level differences. By season four, they still bicker, but will mend their relationship because they can't help but do nice things for each other. In Trade Ya, they start off arguing over personality differences (Applejack likes old junk and Rarity likes useless crap). Then they pivot and start arguing that they value their relationship more than the other. In the end, they mend things by sacrificing their needs and buying each other a gift. Even if they don't understand it, they know it'd make the other happy. And that's all that really matters. It's a genuinely sweet moment that shows how arguing can be healthy and necessary for relationships to strengthen.

We even see them dropping their hang-ups about each others' personalities. In Made in Manehattan, when Rarity runs off in dramatics about someone's fashion, AJ doesn't roll her eyes or scoff, she smiles. Oftentimes, their conflicts are very common domestic conflicts romantic couples face. Applejack's Day Off is about a woman's inability to balance work and life and find time to properly spend with her partner, causing her partner to feel neglected.

By season seven, they're actively participating in each others' interests. Any problems or conflicts that arise are dealt with, and they come out the other end stronger and closer. In Honest Apple, AJ pretty much spells out why their relationship works so well: even though she doesn't understand fashion, she can recognize and appreciate how much work it takes and wants to respect that. When she realizes her mistake in the episode, AJ goes above and beyond to fix things and apologize to Rarity. They care about each other so much.

The two go out of their way, sacrificing their personal desires and beliefs and doing things they normally wouldn't, to make the other happy. That's just love.

There's Simple Ways, where AJ gets stuck in an unwanted love triangle between Rarity and her hipster crush. And her frustration and anger can be so easily interpreted as AJ finding herself in a terrible position; the girl she loves wants another man, and that man wants her.

I dunno. I've always had a preference for opposites attract ships, but Rarijack's stuck with me like a brain worm because they have the perfect chemistry. The way they show they care, or do things for each other, I've always read it as the truest representation of romance in the show.

[ineffablesheets]

Just thinking about how every prank between them is like a love letter dipped in emotional sabotage, signed with a smirk and sent with the full knowledge that revenge will inevitably follow.

[daughter-of-lethe]

🎨: castleinthesky

It feels so real, this Nessian piece is my absolute favourite...

I love to picture them like this, their happy ending 🧡

[plagalkey]

my lovely talented friend wrote an F1 AU fic focused on oikage's time at red bull racing!!!

[ineffablemossy]

Good Omens Fandom assemble! It's that time again...

Another Amazon Prime poll that we need to turn around. You know what to do:

https://www.youtube.com/@PrimeVideo/community

Currently at 25% in 3rd place, but I know we can change that quickly. NOTE: if you're on mobile open the link in your browser and choose 'desktop mode' to view the community tab (shoutout to everyone who put this tip in the comments of my last poll post!)

[labbaik-ya-hussain-as]

1. Haifa Massacre 1937

2. Jerusalem Massacre 1937

3. Haifa Massacre 1938

4. Balad al-Sheikh Massacre 1939

5. Haifa Massacre 1939

6. Haifa Massacre 1947

7. Abbasiya Massacre 1947

8. Al-Khisas Massacre 1947

9. Bab al-Amud Massacre 1947

10. Jerusalem Massacre 1947

11. Sheikh Bureik Massacre 1947

12. Jaffa Massacre 1948

13. Deir Yassin Massacre 1948

14. Tantura Massacre 1948

15. Qibya Massacre 1953

16. Khan Yunis Massacre 1956

17. Jerusalem Massacre 1967

18. Sabra and Shatila Massacre 1982

19. Al-Aqsa Massacre 1990

20. Ibrahimi Mosque Massacre 1994

21. Jenin Refugee Camp April 2002

22.

23. Gaza Massacre 2012

24. Gaza Massacre 2014

25. Gaza Massacre 2018-19

26. Gaza Massacre 2021

27. Gaza Genocide 2023 is still ongoing.

28. DON'T LET ANYONE CONVINCE YOU THAT IT STARTED ON OCTOBER 7th***

[littlefireling]

For @lucienweekofficial Day 6 - Reputation

Lucien Vanserra, an Autumn Court prince, known for being a strong, charismatic, and composed emissary. But maybe there’s more to him than we’ve seen. Maybe he has yet to heal from losing his eye, his first love, a court to call home, and his best friend. Maybe it isn’t easy for him to look at his mate, only to see her avoid his gaze. Maybe it’s hard for him to be surrounded by people with support systems and so much love, yet lack those same things himself.

Maybe he’s hurting and desperately in need of a hug and compassion.

This artwork represents two sides of Lucien: the one everyone expects him to be and the one he truly is.

Art by: @thornart

Commissioned by me (@littlefireling)

Thank you so much 💕 This piece is absolutely stunning <3

** Reposts are okay with proper credit**

[bakudekublogblog]

katsuki has to be quiet and stay calm to keep control of his heart problems.... control your heart.... CONTROL YOUR HEART PART TWO??? hori you're so brilliant

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Happy Valentine's Day! (and this blog's first post anniversary!)

[bluevelvetea]

KN8 x AO3

All tags found on @dear-ao3