#it was probably because i wanted to draw something with it but then never did
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So, Things Are Terrible and You Want to DO SOMETHING
The election is over and, ah...did not go well. While a lot of folks are doing a post mortem of the campaigns and trying to understand what happened with the vote and fighting over who shoulders the blame, we've gotta turn an eye toward the future and figure out, okay fam, where the fuck do we go from here.
I don't have all the answers on this, and I'm not an authority by any means, I'm just a horror author with a blog. But I've been thinking a lot about it and I wanted to share my thought process with others who might want to DO SOMETHING but feel they're spinning their wheels.
Buckle in. This will be a long one.
Step One: Understand the actual risks and stakes.
I think it is very easy to start panicking now about the worst possible case scenario -- jackbooted military busting into the door to disappear everyone who ever said something mean about Trump or bought a banned book or something -- and let fear turn into inaction.
I'm not saying things can't get that bad, and I'm not saying that it won't be absolutely terrifying right out the gate for some particularly at-risk groups -- but the distance between "now" and "V for Vendetta" is long and filled with a lot of intermediary steps. There will be so many opportunities to prevent the worst case scenario.
I say this because, if your mental image of "Bad Things Happening" is The Purge, it will be easy to wake up on inauguration day, look outside to see that the world is not on fire, think, hey, maybe things will be okay after all, and then completely disengage. Alternatively, you might feel so frozen with terror at the possibility of persecution that you do nothing. This is why people are saying: don't obey in advance.
It is essential for those of us with more privilege to use it to take care of those who are more vulnerable.
So. Who is most vulnerable? What does that vulnerability actually mean? What are the most likely risks of Trump's presidency? Here's a Guardian article that I think does a good job of summarizing some of the main issues. Go read that, then come back here.
Step Two: Take steps to protect yourself
You've gotta put your oxygen mask on first, right? So before you start getting involved in other causes, figure out what risks YOU are at, immediately, and do as much as you can to secure yourself. Some potential action steps depending on your circumstance may include:
Renewing your passport (helpful for leaving the country, but also for gender/name change purposes)
Getting vaccines / boosters
Securing birth control
Ensuring your necessary papers (birth certificates etc.) are where you have access to them.
Drawing up legal paperwork for spouses/partners (always a good idea, a helpful safety measure in case you lose marriage rights)
Bolstering your data privacy and online security. Here's a step-by-step guide I found that could help with that.
The specific steps you need to take here depend on what risks you, personally, face. You'll want to do some more research into this for your particular scenario.
No matter who you are, though, it's probably a good idea to start saving money and being a little more conservative with your spending and/or pay down debts to free up some cash. You don't know what kind of emergency may befall you, and having spare money for an emergency is never a bad idea.
There is a possibility that the cost of many things you rely on might go up, if Trump goes through with his tariffs plan. You will want to plan for that.
Food costs may also rise due to tariffs (we import a lot of food from Mexico and Latin America for example) as well as a loss of immigrant labor. There is also a possibility that food safety standards could fall due to overturning regulations. Now would be a good time to look into local food resources like farm share/CSA, community farms, etc., and to stock up on a few key staples like rice and beans.
Okay. Now that YOU are reasonably safe...what can you do to protect your community?
Step Three: Get Involved
Here is your mission: You need to stay engaged enough to know what's going on, without burning yourself out or exhausting yourself, and to take actual decisive actions instead of wasting your energy arguing on the internet.
Got that? Okay. Good. Here are some action steps:
Support independent journalism. Subscribe to local papers, donate to and watch public broadcast programming. I signed up for news from ProPublica, for example, as well as the news-roundup service What The Fuck Just Happened Today. The goal is to stay informed without falling down an endless rabbit hole of upsetting information.
Share news and resources with others in your circle. This can be a good use of social media. It's what I am doing right now!
If it is safe for you to do so, challenge and educate your friends/family members/neighbors/coworkers. Only if it is safe for you to do so. Do not put yourself at risk doing this. And do not waste your time arguing with people who are unlikely to change. But if you have well-meaning people in your life who you think could be won over, look for opportunities to do this - the right way. I've had some success with this, I will probably write a guide about it in the future. In the meantime, here's a good article that can help.
Join local grassroots activism groups. You'll have to do some work to decide what groups to join and which causes you want to support, because you cannot do everything. But there are tons of organizations taking direct action in all kinds of causes. Search "grassroots [cause] activists in [where you live]" to start finding things. Once you get involved in one group, you might meet people who can introduce you to other groups and causes. Yes, this means you will have to go outside and meet people. I'm sorry.
Join direct action groups. Same concept as above. You'll have to search in your area but once you know people it'll be easier to find more opportunities. Some of these groups may overlap. You might find direct action opportunities by engaging politically and vice versa. GO OUTSIDE AND TALK TO PEOPLE WHO ARE DOING THINGS TO HELP.
Get involved in local politics. Here are some quick tips. A lot of things are affected at the city level - stuff like book bans and bathroom bills are often battled first at local libraries and schools, and you can be part of those conversations! Sheriffs are elected and can have a big influence on local policing. Local elections affect how tax dollars are spent, how homeless populations are treated, and lots more. Don't snooze on local elections. Get involved and stay involved.
Look up your representatives. Get in the habit of calling, emailing, and writing letters. Figure out what legislature is being passed and then call your reps and harangue them about it - both to support bills you approve of and shoot down ones you don't. Sign petitions. Join email campaigns. Here's one you can go sign right now from the ACLU. See? Not that scary.
I think a lot of people figure that getting involved in politics doesn't matter or that it's all small potatoes but...man. The president is not god, no matter what he thinks. The sitting administration is not the sole power in the universe. There is an entire machine of government we can lean upon and act upon.
Finally, some general safety notes:
Some forms of direct action are not legal. Take steps to be safe if you choose to partake. Follow the lead of more seasoned activists for what forms of communication to use and so forth.
If you're not willing or able to put yourself at legal risk to act, you can help others by donating to bail funds and legal defense funds.
We've already seen this in some areas, and it will only get uglier - some bad actors are feeling emboldened by the change in regime and will misbehave. It's a good idea to learn some self-defense skills, in whatever way is comfortable to you, and brush up on some tenets of victimology that can help you stay safe. I'll write more about that in the future.
All right. That's all for now. It's by no means comprehensive...but should hopefully help you get started taking the next step. Stay safe out there.
#uspol#politics#direct action#grassroots activism#get involved#election 2024#us politics#us elections
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Sharing catman's quality tags:
#i want to type my tjoughts on this ship - how it actuqlly makes sense and how Dante probably loathes Sloth for taking Hoenhiem from her and
#in some way she finds pleasure in the fact that Sloth now finds herself to be the same/similar inhuman monster Hoenheim thought Dante and#her son (envy) was#and abandonded them for
#the ironics of th3 situation. And Sloth probably sees Dante as a master#a boss she cant disobey - a boss she wouldnt disobey because she has no reason to do so. i think Sloth would think of her abuse as a comfort
#in the sense that like
#“im not a human - so this must be what i deserve and therefore ill allow myself to get treated like this by the only person who i can deem#trusthworthy“
#or something???
#im not very good at ship analysis#but i like this ship now#you gave me brain worms RAHH
Your analysis is solid! And you're welcome for the brainworms (it's my purpose, to spread them like a plague 😌). The way these two orbit each other's respective familial collapse, and an almost mutual-monstrosity (with Dante genuinely being the truly horrid of the two) is a biiiiig draw for this ship imo.
For me, there's more:
The manipulation begins as soon as she finds Sloth dragging her broken new body behind the home Trisha once called her own. The confusion and sheer physical agony that Sloth had to have been in; barely able to ambulate, unable to communicate or assess the situation, in the darkness of a rainy night, frighteningly alone, every moment is seering pain:
And in comes Dante.
The first human in her scant few hours of existence to look upon her without revulsion. She offers aid, shelter, and she knows who is responsible for making her this way. Dante can articulate the source of Sloth's waking horror, and that feels like as good of an approximation of emotional resonance as Sloth has ever experienced. She's a pit of depression but this knowledgeable woman takes her in! And Dante would readily grind the facts of Sloth's tragic mis-creation into the homunculus while coating it in the veneer of tender faux-sympathy. Both out of her own sick, hateful shadenfreude as well as further planting the seed of Sloth's rejection of Trisha's children. Not because Sloth would have otherwise embraced them had it not been for Dante, but rather I think the mess of jumbled, tattered memories that were imparted onto her from Ed and Al (or that came with Trisha's soul; really depends on interpretation here) would form the rich soil of her disposition; Dante merely cultivates into a thriving garden. Sloth senses that those children have severely and permanently rejected her, wanted something or someone of her, and almost as soon as she was made into being they abandoned her. So Dante preys on this.
I also see it as: Sloth's rescue and eventual reformation into a functional humanoid physiology would tender her towards Dante. And Dante's a sicko who will not pass up the opportunity (perhaps mere novelty) of toying with her. Each step of her recovery and that feigned kindness Dante provides comes with metaphoric jabs against Sloth. That she owes Dante everything, that she's becoming such a pretty thing but is still a lowly homunculus, do you remember the pathetic relationship the woman you can never be had? The children that woman raised? Did that man ever care about you when he would so easily leave you behind (Dante keeping to herself the smug sneer of "He was with me longer, but I didn't break apart when he left either). You're a fraud: but doesn't it feel good when she brushes Sloth's hair? Cups her nearly-formed cheek? Strokes her newly healed shoulders? Smiles at her while congratulating her on her progress with each feeding, all while commenting on how 'animal' she finds Sloth's desperate devouring of those red stones. Sloth intuits that this should be humiliating but she finds no urge to rebuke what feels like (warped) affection. It's a poison she will passively allow into herself if it means Dante will keep her under her wing.
As a character Dante feels like an abusive monster adept at pressure cooking people into the roles she wants from them. Sloth doesn't care for having a purpose generally, but pleasing Dante gives her something that fills the abyssal ennui. She crumbles under the weight of what should have been, what once was. And since Dante despises Trisha, it feels like it fits into Sloth's refusal of Trisha as well.
I see Dante almost keeping Sloth as a prize. A win against Hohenheim. And with Sloth's ever-acquiescent demeanour, with the way Sloth will allow whatever Dante feels like doing (in general, to her, at her, against her, 'for' her) while still showing the subtlest signs of sorrow when Dante pushes the homunculus' depressive buttons too hard (but Sloth will still bend to her will without question or rebuke, such a good plaything she is) how could she not find sick satisfaction in treasuring* Sloth?
(*Treasuring meant in the most objectifying sense of the word.)
And how that all eventually clashes with Lust's growing sense of self-possession and eventual rebellion? The odd 'bond' Sloth and Lust formed prior to that, and how Sloth views not only Lust's immutable spine, but how that insults Dante in Sloth's eyes? Ouuughh! 🤌
It's utterly fucked~
TOXIC. YURI.
#also thanks for the wonderful compliments on the art 😊#i got your ask re: mouthwashing#i haven't played it yet but i definitely plan on doing so!#i can't give your ask a quality response until i've played through it#but it's comin'!#dante#sloth#lust#fma 03#prev tag addition#addition#+my art+
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Ford loves Stan’s belly so much is2g. He loves fucking Stan missionary because he likes seeing the belly jiggle. He loves spooning Stan so he can wrap his arms around that big hairy belly and feeling the warmth it creates in his hands. He loves feeding Stan with one hand and keeping his other in Stan’s belly to feel it. But he never calls Stan fat or makes him insecure about his belly, he loves it, he loves Stan
He is a freak about his brothers stomach. But like, respectfully though
regarding the first part: YESSSSSS Ford LOVES Stan's belly!!!! he loves to see it jiggling, loves to see how it moves when stan does, hell, when he's even just laughing.
when it comes to the other part tho, its chill if you wanna disregard canon (which you have every right to, because frankly, gravity falls suffers from a lot of fatphobic material/jokes, but so did a lot of shows in those days) but in Journal 3 Ford canonically is a jerk about Stan's figure. And tbh, speaking as a fat person myself, not that that type of behavior is okay, but i think Ford having a bit of an internal arc about it is fine. Like, starting off a jerk about Stan's weight (bc in journal 3 he's a dick fdsjndjfksn) but then realizing its either 1) some internalized stuff, 2) the funnier option to me, that he actually likes it a LOT but doesn't want to because we're taught as a society that fat people are undesirable, or 3) a mix of the two.
Like again as someone who's fat myself its very funny to think of Ford glowering at his desk and drawing stan in the journal, gritting his teeth clenching his jaw and trying not to pop a boner.
Post weirdmageddon tho and his character growth? Ford is absolutely a ton sweeter about Stan's weight, i think even going full body worship on him a LOT. Stan probably gets...not uncomfortable, but yknow when your self esteem about something regarding yourself is so so low that when someone compliments that, even if they DO mean it genuinely. you don't really know how to react? yeah. that.
i think it would take a lot of time for stan to believe all that stuff, especially since ford was a dick about it before, which tbh, makes the whole ford being guilty thing that much juicier imo
but yeah! those are just my thoughts on it, i see where ur coming from tho
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will you ever revisit your trolls x su au?
I'm not sure. I occasionally think about it again or try to think of some potential drawings but it all depends on my motivation. I might try to draw something since at the moment i have no drawings I'm currently working on but I can't promise anything sorry 😓
#sorry for the few who like this au I'm terrible at focusing on one thing 😔#i do want to try drawing something because i wanna do more with this au just don't really know how because i never actually make aus#they usually just stay as ideas in my head so i have no clue what im doing 😅#but i will try 🙏#also sorry for the people who sent an ask that i never answered#it was probably because i wanted to draw something with it but then never did#dreamworks trolls#trolls au#trolls x su au
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here's 18-19 year old aang sketches. been hearing aang is ugly discourse—no he ain't. he was just 12.
#i really wanted to take part in zukaang bingo but the urge to art struck me a little later#i still might make something else later#enough art for now#i'd try to participate in maiko week but i'm not sure#it's smack in the middle of end semester exams#ink blot#avatar fanart#avatar the last airbender#atla#artists on tumblr#fanart#avatar aang#why did i never use the pencil brush before?!?! i seriously have a personality flaw where i just don't explore stuff.#can you believe i've been using the same fucking brush for lineart ever since i started digital art?#anyways! i don't know how the pencil brush would feel like if i go for colours but this is impeccable.#I have more control over stuff and i love the result#so#i have promised myself i'd be fucking off this hellsite because i have a huge backlog of work that needs to be done#and i'm presently suffering from “can't help but art”. so#yeah. y'all would probably see me around maiko week. byeee!#if i deprive myself of drawing for too long it bursts out of me like this where i do nothing but draw#not healthy at all
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one string is all that I need
#Hatsune Miku#VOCALOID#or rather#piapro characters#Hatsune Miku Single String Ver.#<- yep that's the fan module I made for fun last year#the thing is. only half a month to go until it's mid autumn. and every year I try to draw something for the occasion#I just. started early this year... for some reason......#well I mostly just wanna draw Her lmao. because the pokemon/miku voltage stuff is still being released and Im feelin the effect#and this year's magical miral design is so fuckign good.... thank u to miku artists. especially LAM and rella#as is always the case with this module the instrument/weapon (lol) she uses is a heavily stylized đàn bầu!#and I just realized while drawing this and looking at the ref sheets that I never detailed the pluck lmao#to be fair. usually its just like a piece of. anything#commonly bamboo or bone or plastic. shaped into a longish fingernail shape. its really the way u hold it that matters iirc#but yeah I spruced up the OG design for the instrument in this one lol. this is actually like my original vision I think#I really wanted to make that thing beast shaped. but I Just figured out how to properly stylize it when I designed the module#and! I did say this on stream but I am genuinely very proud of that design! that was genuinely big brain of me! so#future instrument variants will still probably base heavily on that general shape and principles lol. I'm playin in this space its MY muck#also I switched the number on her coat from 39 to 01 bc it's more on theme thats really it. nothin else to remark on there lol#and! once again based the dragon head on the lý dynasty dragon rather than later iterations. thats why the nose fin and no whiskers#and the metal nozzle is kinda supposed to call to mind a temple bell. not super sure i got that across well#but the rim design IS historical! I thiiiink early lê dynasty. just on ceramics instead of on bronze lmao#anyways thats it. I had fun colorin this one! kicked my ass a bit but I think I hashed it out mostly okay#have a good night lads! thank u mid autumn moon cakes for being bad to eat and sponsoring my late night drawin. and remember:#u only need one. but never say having more doesn't make it easier
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!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#A great episode tbh especially given the low budget. I feel like they really did their very best#And even though what I'm going to say next is probably going to be all critic - because I nitpick things and that's what I always end up–#talking about - I still want to underline that it was a very solid and enjoyable episode!!!#Alright the ss/kk was so 💞💞💞 every scene I had to rewatch twice or thrice akhscbashfb they're so cute!!!#Except for the riding scene tho. That scene gives me massive second hand embarrassment every time I just wish it will end as fast as–#possible pffttt. Mmmmhhh... The drawings weren't even too bad all accounted. My main complain is about the quicksand scene...#I feel like that one should be a slow quiet emotional scene. I never licked the choice of using the song as background soundtrack :/#I feel like it ruins the mood of the scene (it was still good though)#I also... Generally don't like the direction they seem to go for with Akutagawa's character in the anime‚ he seems quite a bit flatter–#compared to how he is in the manga. He can't be angry and evil ALL the time you need to show that softness get through from time to time.#If not what even is the point of his character. Yet in the anime he's angry (and not distraught) when he loses the mine craft and he's–#angry when he's questioning Atsushi about his motifs and he's angry when he's bragging about Atsushi's abilities to Goncharov and he's–#angry when he makes the promise with Atsushi at the end of the episode and eventually he'll be just as angry even when telling Atsushi–#to run away as he's sacrificing his life for him. It is pretty flat at the end of the day.#If I can say something about K/ensho Ono without being killed I think they do contribute to making him feel angry all the time.#But that said it's all probably poor directing choices (or simply choices I don't agree with).#Also‚ about cuts. Usually I try to be lenient about it– I understand it's hard to fit in everything and b/sd already does a very–#good job by adapting the manga almost panel-by panel. It's just that... You skip Akutagawa showing compassion for Atsushi after the–#orphanage director died. You skip Atsushi sharing the same compassion when Akutagawa loses his targed in the mines chase. You skip the–#“Nothing special about that. // I suppose he's far crueler than my own mentor.” line. And sure each of them may be negligible by their own#But together they wave a consistent web of relationship between the two characters you know? And it's a loss to omit them all#Well no mind. Again it was still a great episode overall!!!!#I think the colors in the mines could have been prettier in the mines but we can't have it all#Off to season 4!!! Omg I can't believe we got this far :DDD#random rambles#FINALLY was able to catch up in time for the season 3 finale!!!!!!
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scribbly first date type affair (continuation of my modern au stuff)
#witch hat tag#orufrey#idk when the next modern au thing will be so i'll just post this by itself. hehe#that art was one of qifrey's first drawings. it was of a creepy eye. (it was around the time he got glasses as a kid)#(and was told that he might lose his sight completely one day so he became an emo because he already wanted to be an artist#like beldaruit who ran his foster home where he encouraged kids to draw art to express their feelings.)#and an insidious deviantart group called The Brimhats idk stole it & reposted it. he never got to the bottom of who exactly did it.#but one day. they will fucking suffer.#(he believes their goal was to develop AI art as they said stuff like 'all art should belong to everyone anyway' & 'there shouldnt be rules'#but actually they were probably just regular mean ppl who have moved on to new things in life than stealing kids' art on deviantart.#who knows though.) i want people to retain their disabilities or general tragedies like beldaruit would be in a wheelchair#and coco's mum is in a coma. but its just so funny if qifrey just has regular bad eyesight#and it's so cute that he would say he doesnt think of beldaruit as a dad & is distant with him but now basically runs a foster home too#where he doesnt just encourage like he was encouraged but actively teaches kids from sad backgrounds to become wonderful artists one day#anyway i am so fucking hungry now goodbye#P.S. BELDARUIT IS NOT OLD !!!!!!! i mean if qifrey is late 20s or older in canon like i want... i guess he..but.... NO !!!!!! 😭#*edits in some follow-up drawings*#oru: i couldn't c-c-confess my feelings bc it always seems like he's worried about something..i shouldnt bother him..#qif: *always worried about how to confess his feelings*#ive decided meeting at 7 on da is kind of ridiculous actually. i think they probably meet at like age 10 in canon..not immediately =_=#since beru-sama is like 'he finally found a friend'. whatever... this'll be my last art post for a while probably so see ya <3
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Behold, my latest and most enamouring new obsession:
Malina, Lady of the Chief of the Northern Water Tribe. As if Red Lotus child OCs weren’t niche enough
#my art#artists on tumblr#the legend of korra#lok malina#still feel like that’s too vague of a tag but I can’t come up with anything better for now#and yeah. she has completely stolen by heart and I don’t know how to feel about that#don’t think I ever was this attracted to my own art before#to be fair the design isn’t mine. it’s very heavily based on something nina drew back in 2021#because I did not have the energy or creativity to come up with my own thing#but the art is all mine and I genuinely adore it. super proud of myself which is a rare occurrence#anyways. kat and I spent three days digging this niche lower and lower and now have a he#*hell of a lot of lore about this basically nonexistent character#for lore about a lady from the North Pole a lot of it is rather hot… to the point my cheeks are burning non stop#I would say I’d let her do anything she wants to me but in my very specific aroace-adjacent case it’s more like#I’d let her tell me to do anything she wants to her#if that makes any sense and I have not completely lost my goddamn mind yet#okay. enough yapping. back to the art itself#lazy background because I suck at those and am not currently attempting to learn them. I’ll probably do that over the summer#about time anyway. my characters have been placed against an off-white background for far. far too long#this is the first piece in just over a year that isn’t tagged with sotrl. which is kinda weird tbh#I’ve been drawing my OCs almost exclusively for nearly 5 years so it is genuinely surprise I’m branching out#*surprising#less branching out and more diving from one hole into another but y’know#anyway. in my personal and very correct opinion she turned out absolutely gorgeous#her servants are way too lucky and unalaq is way too much of an idiot. no offence to vaatu but he could never beat out this#and I also have Kat’s personal and very correct opinion to back up my own. two against the void. once again we’re winning#I wanna draw her a lot more bc she has completely possessed my brain. I just wish character interactions were easier to draw 😭#I’ll figure it out. just need to fight my visualisation issues for a proper idea. brb#okay I’m almost at the tag limit so. in summary:#she 🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵
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Huge vent
Yesterday was the welcome thing for the beginning of the school year, only from 15h to 16h30. Still managed to end up late. Nothing to do either, just sit there and listen to the explanation of how the year is gonna go. Still came back home EXHAUSTED
First day of school and I'm already an hour late
They also said that if we come late, the teachers aren't gonna let us in
So now I'm just frozen, sitting on my chair after finally managing to prepare, with no idea on if i waste the little energy i have going to school in the heat only to not be let in
But they also said they'd do that last year, and they never did. So maybe they're not doing it again and I'm just wasting time when they would let me in
I don't know and that's the problem
And even if i can, the mental image of everyone in class turning to stare at me and judge while i enter in the middle of the class, because i spent more than half of last year being hours late if not straight up missing "for no reason" is too much (because this country has dog shit psychology knowledge that has been studied to be around 50 years late, and they know nothing about invisible disabilities. Not like I'd ever even tell them. This class sucks in all minorities fronts)
But also I'm literally already thousands of euros in debt for this damn school and every class i miss is money wasted
I don't know what to do
#sent a message to admins to ask about the disability help i can get#think I'm gonna wait until afternoon class to go#and use that time to do all the other medical calls i need to do#hope we can talk about my help soon and i can explain the causes for why I'm late in the morning and why I'm struggling so much#and they'll actually listen#negative#HB rambles#i did brush my teeth! that's a huge win. and took a shower yesterday despite already taking one sunday#which thinking about it now might be the reason I'm already struggling so hard this morning.....#having to suddenly live with low spoons sucks. especially when you have huge memory issues#i keep acting like how i used to. just normal. and then being baffled when something as small as a shower wipes out all my energy for the#next day#i hate this. i hate this so much. i want to go back to being able to do multiple things a day and not ending up drained#i had 3 months of summer break. and only played animal crossing new leaf for like- 3 afternoons#never touched any other game. or my dsi. or my wii. or any of my books#played buckshot roulette for a few hours once#couldn't keep going. it's fun. but because it's a strategy game. it DRAINED my mental energy#i planned to fucking start sports and learn how to sew and crochet and maybe even skateboard#and instead i couldn't even draw a simple BASIC art piece without taking multiple days of only 3 hours sessions#an entire year of doctor appointments. and i still have NOTHING. no answer or help#my last hope is a mental exam in December....#if we don't find the answer then.....I'm probably gonna have to survive like this for the rest of my life#and i definitely can't get or keep a job in this state#vent#chronic fatigue#autistic burnout#probably#but it's not like i can get help for that. when the cure is YEARS of COMPLETE rest#no job or responsabilities whatsoever. yeah right. only way to get that would be to get sent to a retirement home or something#hate this
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Working in publishing, my inbox is basically just:
Article on the Horrors of AI
Article on How AI Can Help Your Business
Article on How AI Has Peaked
Article on How AI Is Here to Stay Forever
Article on How AI Is a Silicon Valley Scam That Doesn't Live Up to the Promise and In Fact Can't Because They've Literally Run Out of Written Words to Train LLMs On
#allison's work life#artificial generation fuckery#in point of fact we're lumping a lot of things into 'AI' so probably bits of them are all true#i think AI narration probably is here to stay because we've been mass training that for ages (what did you think alexa and siri were?)#i think ai covers will stick around on the low price point end unless those servers go the way of crypto#but as with everywhere they'll be limited because you can't ask an ai for design alts#(and do you guys know how many fucking passes it takes to make minute finicky changes to get exec to sign off on a cover?)#i think ai translation for books will die on the vine - you'd have to feed the whole text of your book to the ai and publishers hate that#ai writing is absolute garbage at long form so it will never replace authorship#it's also not going to be used to write a lot of copy because again you'd have to feed the ai your book and publishers say no way#like the thing to keep in mind is publishers want to save money but they want to control their intellectual property even more#that's the bread and butter#the number 1 thing they don't want to do is feed the books into an LLM#christ we won't even give libraries a fair deal on ebooks you think they're just going to give that shit away to their competitors??#but also i don't think the server/power/tech issue is sustainable for something like chatgpt and it is going to go the way of crypto#is humanity going to create an actual artificial intelligence that can write and think and draw?#yeah probably eventually#i do not think this attempt is it#they got too greedy and did too much too fast and when the money dries up? that's it#maybe I'm wrong but i just think the money will dry out long before the tech improves
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hi everyone remind me to never look at deviantart again
#haunted ecosystem#probably jsut take this post at face value tags are if youre really curious 👍#i was trying to find something. immediately got blasted with a person who i did not want confirmation was out of prison is out#if im weird the next few days this has been an un-fun experience 👍i just wanted to look for some furry bases ok not. dread.#i just wanted to work on beest & saturn </3#actually feel nauseous ah this is going to be fun im going to go. draw things. do something. i need to get rid of this dread#why did he fucking follow my new account there? why? didnt he get enough? didnt he fucking get enough god i.#sorry chat im feeling things and if i remember this later i'll probably delete these tags but i need to just put this somewhere#im not a kid anymore i can handle this i shouldnt be this scared but fuck i am. maybe it wasnt just paranoia! joy joy joy oh joy!#tomorrow will be better tomorrow i'll forget about this and i'll move on like i never saw it and i'll continue being happy#i have people that love and care about me and that i talk to every day i have people that i trust and know i can rely on#i don't have to be scared anymore i don't need to worry i'll be fine and that has to be true because things are better now
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Last Line Tag
Tagged FOREVER AGO by @demonlikejudgeoffire, thank you!! (And sorry for taking ages to respond :P astoundingly, I actually did not forget this this time, it just took literally this long before I could write a single word skdjfhsk)
Ahem, anyway:
“All right,” she says eventually, once she can trust her voice not to waver, “drinks next time.”
“Only if they’re on you.”
“No way, you’re the tenured university professor.”
“Yeah, and you’re like — a superhero or something? Or a security firm boss thing, whatever. What is it you do these days, actually?”
“Security firm boss thing,” Jung Heewon repeats slowly. “Wow.”
Absolutely ZERO pressure, plus I’ve no idea how many of y’all are actually writing these days, but in case you would like to share the (approximately) last line you wrote (even if it was years ago! seeing how hard it was to even write two sentences these past few months, I will open the temporal net wide lol): @imperiousphasmid, @theaggresivepacifist, @diminished-fish, @rain-hat, @drivingsideways and genuinely anybody else who wants to share what you’ve got! I am simply greedy and would like to read all of them :D
#someday I will finish this#probably not even remotely soon because it keeps wanting to balloon into something bigger#(and also because writing is...extremely inconsistent these days)#(however it did feel like it's getting to be slightly less painful than gargling nails in my brain)#(I am very suspicious of this though because I can never draw and write decently at the same time#and I am going to need to do a lot of drawing in the near future)#ANYWAYS THANKS FOR THE TAG THIS WAS FUN#literally the whole motivation for getting back into writing was to finally respond to this XD#(and also write stories of course but the FIRST motivation was this)#aww look I thought I could write
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okay so maybe it was a little groundbreaking. maybe it’s slightly iconic. shut the fuck up.
#i STILL think the ending was stupid - for the record#(UNLESS we consider the ending as not a resolution but a further extension of the horror… but that’s clearly not the intention so 🙄)#but like. yeah no. it’s really good.#it actually did something that appealed to me. :/#hate to say it…#and it’s not like this is the first time this has happened either… it’s really not surprising#but also like. :/ i want to be madder#unfortunately i am Not Immune to [redacted]#it’s funny because everyone is clunky in their own unique way#and i KNOW i would find his clunkiness charming except that he pisses me off - so i don’t#but this time i ALMOST saw it#i think i would have actually really enjoyed it except for the ending#but - as it is - i am still Thinking About It after several weeks - so it Got Me on some level#am now writing a little mini fic about it as a companion to an art piece i will probably never draw#and yet i can picture vividly in my mind#so uh… that’s where we stand on that i guess#it’s NOT about the mimesis but also it is Because I Say So :))#also i’m not sure that it was actually groundbreaking - but it does have a couple shots that absolutely fuck - so that works for me
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Lineart to lineless art progress thingie (for funsies! and also bc im running out of things atm to put in queue lol). My fashion sense is very basic but i really like the left & right designs for Helene!
It's interesting to see how many details get lost/added in the process between lining things out/turning the lines to full color. Helene's face on the left loses the angle I was going for (OTL) and i fiddled with the anatomy a bit to make it better on the right
Wanted to make this as a glimpse at what a modern AU!version of Helene would look like (and im really hoping to see her on Earth and her reactions to being on Earth! but atm it's hinted only dragons are capable of tracking down people across 'verses so im just saying...hey Paris...regarding Helene and your Dragon Pact powers...).
#TME art#for how much i obsess about Helene I don't draw her often lol#partly bc it's really hard to draw her right in my eyes#on things i really hope happen in the manhwa: it's PARIS who gets to visit Lyla on Earth first and learn her real name because in the LN-#he WAS the first one to find out her name so it'd be kind of a fitting homage to his LN self if he learned her Korean name first#and teleported to her first the way he did in the LN before Fian did#PLUS PLUS PLUS#I've been thinking about it a lot but irl!Lyla and Paris look like they could be siblings#and it'd be REALLY FUNNY if Paris appeared on Earth and was mistaken as a long lost brother or something#plus im ngl i kind of want to see him build a bond with Lyla and big brother her the way he did in the LN#either by protecting her from her shitty family or scaring them off#but also it'd be really funny to see Twilight's reaction to Paris in particular appearing on Earth#(also god i forgot Twilight was a plot point in the manhwa bc she never shows up in the LN lmao)#but at least i get to have hope we might get a IRL arc with Paris or Fian or Helene (or hopefully all 3!!!)#plus i don't think it's Twilight who found Lyla when she last passed out bc the person who saved Lyla didn't look like Twilight#so im wondering if either that was Fian from the future his reincarnation in this world or someone else?#now that im thinking of Twilight im wondering who she is even more now beyond being the author#is she really Sienna reincarnated like speculations assume?#perhaps even the old Lyla herself?#and will Twilight get to meet Helene aka the heroine she royally screwed over in more ways than one?#and what would Twilight think of Paris getting close to Helene considering what she knows about their OG relationship?#gosh im looking forward to the manhwa and how it handles Twilight/the dragons hopping dimensions (hopefully w/ their gals)#also just saying but Helene probably is the only one who has the capacity to reach Lyla atm bc she knew about Sienna's teleportation magic#and hypothetically she can reverse-engineer it to reach Lyla once she learns what the hell is going on#but considering Helene doesn't know Lyla's an imposter much less that she comes from another world would she be willing to do so?#and then there's the archery festival too that's either being skipped or going to see Lyla attend it like in the LN#waaaaaah i love all the changes the manhwa introduces it makes me so excited to see how Yuria will shake things up#especially since this round Lyla IS an imposter separate from the OG!Lyla and not someone who will end up turning into Lyla#i have SO MANY THOUGHTS on this manhwa and its direction esp compared to the LN jfc#im DEFINITELY waiting for the promise of Paris going to Helene to finally ask for her help
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okay im normal now I love art again <3
#jokes aside#im still gonna struggle with art as life goes on and ultimately my art will never look exactly how I want it to. but the good thing abt this#is that my brain is improving faster than my body can keep up. everything looks wrong rn because I understand it better than I did before#and it sucks but I just have to keep on drawing. not if it hurts of course but like. even I don’t like what im drawing I can’t just give up#I stagnate that way. but yeah I remember when sys! was called the#phillyverse#and we shared so much about it#I miss that. I miss being proud of my art#I know I’ve improved and I know I’ll keep improving. most of my friends i made through my art so clearly there’s something there#I will get better and I will keep drawing and maybe I won’t be able able to draw sys! on my own.#I have so much concept art that if we needed to hire someone one day they’d probably be fine#but I also want to get used to posting my art again so I have to keep drawing#sorry I keep having to learn the same lesson over and over again it will happen again#but yeah all it took was me looking at old art to realize no I love drawing
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