#it was pointed out to me a couple of years later.

[ceilidho]

Do you have any advice for a novice writer who can’t for the life of them figure out how to begin a story and/or scene? I’ve been slowly working on a novel in my free time for the last couple of years, and I feel like I have a decently solid plot and outline, but every time I go to start the actual process of putting words on paper I always get stuck. I’ve gone back and read the first few pages/chapters of other fantasy books to see how published authors do it, but I can never seem to find the right words or starting point that feels authentic and fitting to my own work. It always feels so clunky and out of place, and although I try to follow the ‘rule’ of starting the story in the middle of the action/a moment of change so that it doesn’t feel boring, nothing I come up with seems to help things flow into the beginning of the plot :/

ugh that's hard because actually forcing yourself to write is truly the hardest part. a lot of it is just nerves. like genuinely you're just experiencing stage fright.

that's why i love using tumblr as a micro-writing platform. when i make stupid little posts here, it feels low effort and i don't attach any anxiety to it, and actually that helps a lot when later on i take bits and pieces of stuff i've written here and add it to larger works (if you were following me when I was actively writing "landscape with honey" or "superstore" you'll remember i took a lot of asks that i'd already answered and just shoved them into the fic).

i highly recommend making a word cloud or vocabulary list for yourself if you're trying to cultivate a specific atmosphere as well. i have one on my phone for random words that i want to use.

then i think it might be helpful for you to try and break it down piece by piece. like if you have a scene where a character is packing a suitcase in order to catch a train, just focus on the first part where they're packing their belongings. there isn't a 'right' way to start a story or write something, so don't beat yourself up because the paragraph/sentence doesn't match perfectly what's in your head. the first draft is always going to be rough as well.

try to think of it like when an artist starts a piece. usually they start with simple shapes that they slowly add on to. you can think of your first draft kind of like this:

(image source)

[1toreyouapart]

What It Cost

****THIS IS A FICTIONAL STORY BASED ON REAL PEOPLE. 18+ ONLY. I DO NOT OWN THE RIGHTS TO THE PEOPLE OR MUSIC MENTIONED IN THIS STORY OUTSIDE OF LILITH AND SADIE AND MAYBE A COUPLE OTHERS. DO NOT READ IF YOU’RE NOT UP FOR FANFIC INVOLVING REAL PEOPLE***

Terrible summary: Five years since she last spoke to him. Since she last saw him. Now his face and his voice is everywhere. She can't escape him.

Five years ago Noah destroyed her and the life they had built. Now he’s back and seeking to make amends. As much as she wants to say that it's too little too late, is it?

CW/TW: Angst, mention of addiction, cheating. Mention of character death. Language. Smut (later on). PinV, unprotected PinV (wrap it before you tap it, friends), oral (f&m receiving). All smutty warnings happen later on, so I’ll update TW/CW warning labels as those parts are written and posted. If I forget anything, please let me know so I can fix it! Thank you!

Part 6 - Lilith

Noah had text her two hours ago, asking if they could talk. Again. Since then she'd been an anxious mess. Part of her was shocked he hadn't just shown up like the last time. Everything in her told him to tell him no. That there was nothing to talk about anymore. He had said he was sorry and they could go about their lives. But she couldn't bring herself to do it. Couldn't bring herself to tell him to leave her alone. What the fuck was wrong with her? She should hate him. So why couldn't she?

Sadie joined her on the back porch, handing her a takeout container and a fork. Lilly couldn't help the smile at the small gesture. She'd sort of started the tradition back when the two of them had just met, always giving Sadie food from her and Noah's dates. Now it was her doing it after hers and Jolly's.

"He wants to talk."

"So, no stomach for food at the moment?" Sadie took the food back, knowing too well what happened if she ate while nervous. It wouldn't stay down long.

"I don't know what to say." Lilly sighed, her stomach starting to churn more forcefully.

"Listen," Sadie began. "I know we all know I'm still pissed at him. But, maybe hear him out? He at least seems like he's trying."

Lilly huffed out a laugh, dropping her head into her hands, elbows resting on her knees. She had expected Sadie to tell her to ignore him or to tell him to fuck off. Which almost would have guaranteed she agree to talk to him. Probably something Sadie had counted on, actually.

"I don't know-"

"Lilly, I heard him, too. He's never sounded like that. Jolly said he's been locked up in his room since." She sighed. "Maybe talk to him. If you don't want to hear what he has to say, that's fine, but at least give him a chance to do what he should have done years ago."

Sadie had a point. Never had she seen Noah like that. Sure, she had seen him close a few times when things weren't going right, but never to the point that he was on his knees, clutching his chest like that. The way he had sounded, like he was breaking. Shattering right in front of her. How unfocused his eyes had been. He hadn't been there in the present. Noah had been somewhere else in his mind.

Chewing on her bottom lip she picked up her phone, debating between texting him back and just calling him. Suddenly Sadie reached over, taking her phone from her.

"Hey!"

"Jesus. You both need to learn how to just get on with it." Sadie laughed, typing out a response for her and hitting send. "He'll probably be here soon. I'll make myself scarce."

***

Her heart leapt into her throat as she watched him pull up, her hands beginning to shake. Fuck. Right now seemed like a real good time to start smoking. Maybe she should have had some wine or something first. Either way she needed something to calm the nerves. Yet here she was empty handed, watching as he climbed out of his car, a tall iced coffee in hand. No hoodie this time. Just a pair of shorts and a plain white shirt.

She watched, helpless, as he climbed the steps onto the porch. Watched as he walked over to her, holding out the iced coffee for her. Her stomach flipped at the realization that he had brought her some kind of peace offering.

"Iced spiced chai, double shot, with a pump of pumpkin, right?" He asked, his voice soft.

"You remember my order." It wasn't a question, more of an observation than anything. Carefully, she reached out, taking the coffee from him, grateful to have something to hold. "Thank you."

Noah nodded, sitting in the chair opposite her. She had to admit to herself she was shocked that after all this time he had remembered something so small. Then again, she clearly hadn't changed much in five years if she still got the same coffee every day. Nervous, she took a sip, not daring to look up at him.

"Sorry about the other night," he started.

"I don't know. I think that's the most honest I've ever seen you, Noah," she quipped, wincing at her own harshness. "Sorry."

"No," he chuckled. "That's fair. That's really fucking fair."

"I'm not sorry that I finally was honest with you. I am, however, sorry that I started having a fucking panic attack, though."

"You're okay, though?" She asked, finally looking up at him.

Now that she looked at him she could see just how tired he was. Like he had barely slept. And deep down she felt bad for him. And maybe a little guilty. Maybe she shouldn't have been so hard on him the other night.

"Honestly? Been better. But, comes with the territory, I suppose."

The two of them sat there, a heavy silence falling between them. There he was, being honest again. The Noah she had known would have said he was fine. He would have skirted around the issue entirely and made a stupid joke.

"Listen, Bambi. I fucked up. Royally. You didn't deserve any of the shit that I did. Even the stuff you overlooked from the start." He grimaced, remembering some of the shit he had done.

"Noah-"

"Nope. Not done. You are also the first person I should have reached out to once I got sober. Instead I've been too chicken shit, as Nicholas loves to point out, to face you because the shit I put you through at the end? That was beyond fucked up. Like, way beyond. I was doing shit just to hurt you. And you deserved better. You still deserve better."

Lilith sat there, gripping the coffee he had brought her, feeling like she was going to vomit. Tears blurred her vision, her mind racing. Here he was, giving her more of an apology than she had ever thought she would get. And as much as she wanted to be angry, she just couldn't anymore. She wanted to scream and yell and call him an asshole, but the anger and the words just wouldn't come. Where did she go from here?

Tag: @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard

[itsmyfandomandilikeit]

Ok I have gone through all available evidence and I have a prediction.

Look I'm ngl I am watching Arcane for Cait and Vi. I love the show overall but this ship is what I'm most here for, especially after I spent the last 3 years under the assumption that Mel was dead. Glad she isn't. Point is, I really want CaitVi/Violyn/Piltover's Finest to be handled well, and I pay a disproportionate amount of attention to what happens with these two.

After watching the first arc of season 2 the other day, I was trying really hard to ignore the ending to episode 3. I didn't like that Cait hit Vi in the stomach and abandoned her in a pit after being all classist at her, but I thought, this is Arcane. Arcane is the greatest fucking thing I've ever seen, of course they're gonna find a way to make this work. But that made me think of it as a puzzle. How could they possibly make this work?

Option one, Cait sucks now and she and Vi don't get back together. I don't think this makes sense, because of the brand. CaitVi is a popular ship that just about everybody likes. A huge amount of the hype for this season before the trailers came out was building up assurances that don't worry, CaitVi is happening and it's not gonna be ambiguous. Take this teaser from like two weeks after season 1 ended, a couple of Valentine's Day icons, and one million tweets from Amanda Overton. Why the fuck would they make this season be about Cait and Vi not working out? It simply doesn't make logical sense.

Ok, so we're starting from the assumption that Cait and Vi have a happy ending that makes people feel like they should be together, and continue to want to play as them in the games and buy merchandise. That means they either explicitly get back together, or it's so implied there isn't much of a difference. My money is on zero ambiguity. Vi is the main character and Cait is maybe #3 or #4. Ambiguity about their ending would just look like a weak writing choice and they didn't know what they're doing. The Arcane writers don't tend to go for wishy washy.

But here's the problem. Domestic violence is bad. It's about the fastest way to guarantee the majority of your audience doesn't think two characters should be together. It would take a herculean effort on Cait's part to make up for that and honestly I still wouldn't believe it. To me, there isn't any kind of act of service that makes up for hitting your partner. Not even ensuring the independence of the nation of Zaun. Add on top of that the over the top hurtful comments about Vi's blood and class. It makes her look very much like, deep down, she thinks of Vi as beneath her. If she meant those things, a relationship between them is impossible. (Not to mention how many teenaged girls I know are watching this, and I don't want them to think it's ever okay to be treated like that, even in a fantasy series.)

So my prediction is this. The only way to make a relationship between Cait and Vi viable again is to render those comments and the sentiment they carry meaningless. How do the writers do that? Imo it turns out later that Cait intentionally came up with cruel things to say to cut Vi loose. She realized that Vi would never be able to kill Jinx, and this new explosion will make the situation aboveground even worse, and Vi still won't be able to contribute to the hunt after this. Vi has no future as an enforcer against Jinx and will probably get treated like dogshit as a Zaunite, so Cait is "breaking her heart to save her", as Tvtropes would say. In Cait's mind, it's better if she's left down here in Zaun.

What evidence do I have for this? It fits Cait's characterization as a genius who thinks quickly and several steps ahead. It fits the tiny animation details we zero in on of her stiffening her trembling lips and furled eyebrows. It un-ruins the most popular canon relationship in League. It allows act 1 to end on massive shock value but roll it back later to show that Cait actually does love Vi, enough to let her go for her own good.

I'm not arguing this is the best possible solution but it's the one I think they're going to go with. Amanda Overton and some others have repeatedly said that CaitVi fans will be happy with the ending to Arcane. Everything about the show(the opening, Netflix Brazil's Twitter account, the story) points to them being the show's OTP except for this one scene. I think Cait intentionally cut Vi out of her life by pretending to be much crueler than she wanted to be, to protect her and, likely, as a form of self destruction.

[p0is0nandker0sene]

Tell me about MCR! I only know a little bit about the band.

Goodness where do I begin!

My Chemical Romance is a band from new jersey formed in 2001 by Gerard Way. Gerard was previously working as an intern at cartoon networks and was more a comic and children's cartoon artist than musician. After witnessing the 9/11 tragedy first hand, he wrote the first mcr song 'skylines and turnstiles' and decided to form the band with his friend Matt (Otter) Pelissier (drums). His younger brother mikey way came up with the band name while working in a bookshop after seeing Irvine Walsh's novel "three tales of chemical romance" and suggesting that putting "my" in front of it would be a cool band name.

Gerard then asked guitarist Ray Toro to be their lead guitarist as Gerard couldn't play guitar well enough to perform live. Mikey then later joined as the bassist (despite having little bass playing experience, unlike ray who was classically trained).

While signed to their record label 'eyeball records', the band met frank iero who was the guitarist and vocalist of his own band 'pencey prep' who were also signed to eyeball records. Frank loved my Chem and was basically their first fan. His band split up and he then became the rhythm guitarist (mainly because young ray toro wrote too many guitar lines for him to be able to perform live) a few days before the first album 'I brought you my bullets, you brought me your love' was recorded and later released in 2002. Frank was able to record 2 songs with them, which were 'early sunsets over monroeville' and 'honey, this mirror isn't big enough for the two of us'.

I don't wanna drag on too much longer on what was meant to be a brief background, but they then started writing 'three cheers for sweet revenge', which was released 2004. The album centres around the concept of a couple who are separated in a gunfight; he dies and goes to hell but she lives. The devil makes a deal with him that if he brings him the souls of a 1000 evil men, he can be with her again. This period in time the band's alcohol habits, particularly Gerard's were at their worst, but after a near death experience, Gerard decided to get clean and sober. At this point Matt Pelissier has left the band due to refusing to use a metronome and change his drumming style. He gets replaced by Bob Bryar.

Then they wrote their most successful and well known album 'the black parade' in 2006 which centres around a character called 'the patient' who dies and has death come to him in the form of a parade which is his fondest memory as a child. There are lots of characters in the black parade, including 'mother war', 'pepe', 'fear and regret', and the devil who appears in the form of a wolf.

The black parade's musical style is very different to bullets and three cheers. It's a rock opera and takes influences from Queen and other glam rock bands.

My Chem then went on a short hiatus in 2008/9. During this time, frank started another band called 'leathermouth', which was a short lived hardcore band, and Gerard released the second umbrella academy comic book (the first was released a year prior).

They then released their new album 'danger days: the true lives of the fabulous killjoys', in 2010 which is the album that is by far the most different from their typical style. At this point Bob has been kicked out for reasons that are still fairly up in the air, and is replaced by Mike Pedicone. The concept of this album is entwined with Gerard's comic book that he wrote. The story revolves around a post apocalyptic 2019 where the world is ruled by a totalitarian corporation called 'better living industries' (BLI) and a group of rebels called the killjoys fight against them and their soldiers (draculoids, basically stormtroopers, exterminators who are in the S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W unit, namely Korse who is a main antagonist. Each band member gave themselves a killjoy persona and had distinct outfits and guns to match. Gerard is Party Poison, Ray is Jet Star, Mikey is Kobra Kid, and Frank is Fun Ghoul. The killjoys protect a character called the girl and in one of the music videos, they die protecting her. The comic book of the same name is about the Girl's life after the killjoys have died and how she defeats BLI.

Mike then gets kicked out of the band after being caught stealing from the band. They still don't have a permanent drummer.

They then released a not-album called 'conventional weapons' in 2012 which was going to be an album with no story concept or characters, but they didn't like it so they scrapped it. Despite being released in 2012, it was recorded in 2009.

They also announced they were working on a fifth album with the working title 'mcr5', a name that has haunted mcr fans for years with the hopes of a new full-length album after years.

Mcr then announced their break up on 22 March 2013.

In 2014 they released a greatest hits album called 'may death never stop you' with a previously unreleased track called "fake your death".

Post breakup, the guys started their own solo projects. Gerard made his album 'hesitant alien', frank from 2014 to 2019 had his own solo bands called 'Frank iero and the celabration/patience/ future violents and another project called 'death spells' , Ray wrote and produced his album 'remember the laughter', and mikey formed his own band 'electric century'.

In 2016 they released a 10th anniversary album for the black parade titled 'living with ghosts' which featured demo's and unreleased tracks.

Then, on the 31st of October 2019, my Chem created an instagram account and announced their reunion. They posted a heap of videos relating to revival and rituals. They had a reunion show in LA. They had heaps of global tours planned for 2020, 2021 and 2022 (my show was meant to be in 2022), but because of covid they had to postpone.

In may 2022 they released their first song in nearly 10 years, 'the foundations of decay'.

We're all still hoping they'll drop a new album, which is why we were all so excited about the cryptic post they made which ended up possibly not being mcr5, but a black parade stadium tour. But we're not losing hope for new content and even black parade lore because of the new stuff in the video they dropped recently.

Mcr is both my all time favourite rock band and my special interest, I've been a fan since October 2018 when I discovered them in a video titled "harry potter characters theme songs".

I started adding their songs to my new rock playlist (I was getting into rock when I was 13/4) and realised I was getting really into the band so I decided to learn more about them by looking at their wiki, looking at memes, and watching MVs and interviews.

It honestly just accelerated from there with fan art, memes, fanfiction, interviews, solo projects, fandom activities, and of course crying at 2am to their sad music videos and songs (and about the fact that at this point they were broken up and I thought they would never get back together again 🫣)

That is still, despite how huge that was, a condensed version of the 23 years of my chemical romance and 6 years of me being a fan :) there's tons of little details and facts about the guys, about the songs, the albums, the concepts, the things that happened, before, during, in between, after, and during again.

But thank u for asking me about my Chem! I knew I'd write an essay about them 🫣

[clairehadenough]

syndrome baby death

When I said I didn’t want to share about my pregnancy to avoid psychos in my inbox, I was mainly thinking of this one ⬆️. And lo and behold, this is what I found in my inbox a few hours later.

All the sane blogs around here know her because she has been sending us all psychotic messages for the past year if not more. They usually go like that:

These are just from the last couple of days and most of the times we just ignore her ass because she clearly is deranged. She is also very up to date with everyone’s moves because she adapts her stuff according to what’s everyone doing. For example last time I shared I was going on holidays she “manifested” a plane crash for me lmao.

Now she is dumb to the point she didn’t make sure to cover her ass properly before going crazy online. That means that I was able to first find her side Instagram account-the one she uses for liking and commenting on her favourite delulus pages. She was even dumber about not making it private at first which allowed me to find out more personal stuff about her. I mean how cool it is to have a hater’s name, surname, address, place of work…☺️

I never believed in doxxing anyone on the internet or in sharing their personal information, no matter how hateful towards me they get.

However, coming for my baby is something I will never ever tolerate, I’ll eat you alive, I’ll end you if you ever think of sending me something like that again.

Here’s why I’m now sharing the name of her finsta below, regardless of the fact that after I mentioned her name once a few weeks back she got scared and made it private.

Should she ever send anything to me again, about ANYTHING, I am filing a complaint to the police where she lives (it’s easy when you have all her personal details) and no more reporting to Tumblr bullshit because they don’t do anything. I will also be making everything I now know about her public on here. With absolutely no guilt whatsoever.

And finally you ignorant crazy scum, it’s called Sudden Infant Death Syndrome and not whatever shit you called it. It is a very real thing that affects families for ever and it’s certainly not something that you have the right to use to feel better about a random stranger not giving a shit about you.

It’s just too bad it’s not something that can happen to grown ass pieces of shit like you.

[thetaoofzoe]

How old were you when you realised that this sexy ass song was about Elvis?

Lyrics

Mississippi in the middle of a dry spell Jimmy Rodgers on the Victrola up high Mama's dancin' with baby on her shoulder The sun is settin' like molasses in the sky The boy could sing, knew how to move everything Always wanting more, he'd leave you longing for Black velvet and that little boy's smile Black velvet with that slow southern style A new religion that'll bring ya to your knees Black velvet if you please

Up in Memphis the music's like a heat wave White Lightnin' bound to drive you wild Mama's baby's in the heart of every school girl "Love Me Tender" leaves 'em cryin' in the aisle The way he moved, it was a sin, so sweet and true Always wanting more, he'd leave you longing for

Black velvet and that little boy's smile Black velvet and that slow southern style A new religion that'll bring ya to your knees Black velvet if you please

Every word of every song that he sang was for you In a flash he was gone, it happened so soon What could you do?

Black velvet and that little boy's smile Black velvet in that slow southern style A new religion that'll bring ya to your knees Black velvet if you please

Black velvet and that little boy's smile Black velvet in that slow southern style A new religion that'll bring ya to your knees Black velvet if you please

[unproduciblesmackdown]

Lackadaisy Enrichment

[vulpinesaint]

the difference that offering a child kindness and compassion can make... one of the kiddos was crying the other morning missing her mom. Sobbing crying. and i talked to her and she wasn't able to say very much from crying so hard but confirmed that she knew her mom was going to be back and it was going to be a good day and it was going to be alright but she was just inconsolable. and we did some good breaths together but she just couldn't get her breathing under control. so for like ten minutes i just had her drink some water and gave her a hug and sat with her while she cried until we were going off to the next activity and she had to go with different counselors. and by then she'd calmed down a little but was still sniffling and obviously upset but the important part is that even though i didn't even get her to stop crying anytime i saw that little girl the rest of that day and now throughout the rest of the Week after just sitting with her and offering some compassion i see her notice me as she goes by and she always looks right at me and smiles and gives me a little wave when i say hi. like we haven't had any other conversations since then but i can see the way that she recognizes me now. i'm not her favorite counselor i haven't spent more than twenty minutes with her tops but that little girl takes the time to seek out my acknowledgement cause i showed that i care about her.... y'know... cause i was gentle with her and that meant something to her... all to say. it doesn't matter if you have extended interactions with kids. it really doesn't. small things can make such a huge impact on children and i really sincerely think it's so important to show them kindness... help them up when they fall. give them a hug. sit with them while they cry. cause even if it doesn't Fix things even if you don't solve the problem or do anything really materially Helpful you will have shown that child that people care about them. and they notice... they remember... they do...

[autumnrory]

i rmr when all the initial meta around endgame was coming out people were talking about steve being depressed and whatnot and it's like well yeah but he's BEEN depressed, like he woke up alone in this century and he kept going, now i can understand it being worse this time after finding a family and getting bucky back and losing them all except of course that's not why endgame steve was on about so like......the people writing meta were trying to connect these things that of course weren't really there on screen because that simply wasn't our steve

but i think it really could've been SO interesting to see this is the thing that finally makes steve stay down like he's lost so much and he just CAN'T keep fighting like i get some people think that's what they were going for but considering the ending......it's really not. and so i'm just thinking about a version after iw, maybe he gets some of the thor treatment except not turning his depression into a dumb fatphobic joke lol and maybe nat and others are trying to get through to him and it just doesn't work and then we get some flashbacks (which you could have done for all the original avengers actually which would be particularly important for bruce and nat and clint who did not have their own trilogies) including his mom telling him "you always stand up" and THAT being the thing to finally get him moving like it would've been such a perfect way to finally show sarah rogers some respect and ACTUALLY show steve really struggling instead of whatever they tried to do with him in that movie

[thevioletcaptain]

.

[anotherpapercut]

working with children really will make you examine your thought processes and emotional reactions like nothing else. I've found myself being so much more thoughtful in my daily life about how I respond to my emotions and environment, as well as the reasoning behind why others behave the way they do

[atissi]

if you are 1) currently in a university where your student healthcare covers hormone therapy, and 2) in a good financial, emotional, and social position to start hormone therapy, i would recommend pursuing it. because in my experience, it's a huge pain in the ass to get an endocrinologist once you're on your own

[keeps-ache]

yippee woohoo :3

[coridallasmultipass]

.

[angelstrawbabie420]

i legitimately do not know how i have persisted under all this grief and i fear i won’t be able to for much longer

[youredreamingofroo]

living in this household is such a train wreck ❤️

like wdym it's not normal for your guardians to be perfectly fine, then have an off day, which leads to my guardians arguing and having my grandma threaten to k word my grandpa and my grandpa just ask to be k worded, and then have me get so stressed out I just start crying, and in some cases (like today) have a panic attack that almost k/o's me 🫶🫠 only for everything to go back to normal 5 minutes later. Damn that's not normal??????? Welp.