#it was chocolate milk
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My husband just almost killed me by asking if I was drinking orange juice
#I wasn’t#it was chocolate milk#I was so baffled that I inhaled my drink#I was drowning#I gagged#wheezing#it burned#coughed it onto the floor#he thought I was joking#until he saw the milk on the floor#so stupid#the whole time#terminallyworkingonit#orange juice#chocolate milk
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Sounds dumb but I drank from a bottle only labeled "Test1" and got incredebly nauseus for a couple hours.
Fuck around and find out huh.
#it was chocolate milk#but like really bad#its just funnier to word it like this#its not poisonus#not art
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#superkursunaskr#photography#aestehtic#chocolate#cook#cookie#milk#so cute#pretty#cake#cute art#iyiyimlaben#sarhoskedi#lostonyoubabe#uykusuzlukbelirtisi#anlamazlarki#resimdekigozyasi#alternative#explore#style#scenery#love#pretty in pink#indie#instagram#twitter#cute#text post#lovers#artists on tumblr
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Chocolate Peanut Butter Cake
#chocolate#peanuts#peanut butter#cake#dessert#snack cake#snacks#munchies#sweets#sweet tooth#cocoapowder#frosting#chocolate frosting#layer cake#cake lover#toya's tales#style#toyastales#toyas tales#summer#september#fudge#dark chocolate#milk chocolate#foodie#food#foodporn#food photography#foodpics#food pics
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fuck it, parkour god
#parkour civilization#minecraft#acookiegod#what losing your pen does to a mf#don't worry i found it in the end#so am i cooking or am i cooked#idk about his attire the only clear visual i had in my head was milk wing#and multiple chocolate chip eyes#why is he built like that? next question
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[concerningly sweaty] i think he'd...grow a beard in the winter...!!!!!!!!!!
#spiked hot chocolate. with the cheap baileys knockoff#i was shane shorts in winterpilled but jeans will do...jeans and boots okaaaayyyy#shane stardew valley#shane sdv#my art#sdv posting#Hey. if ur still reading this. sorry it kinda looks like shit. my brain is mushy cereal amd stardew valley is the almond milk. in the cereal
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Doing an experiment
Please rb to expand my sample size!
#tumblr polls#polls#tay's.polls#drinking my chocolate milk during lunch and thinking#whole milk supremacy
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Chocolate tres leches
#cake#tres leches cake#chocolate#dessert#food#chocolate cake#milk#whipped cream#mexican food#sweet food#sweet#sweets#easy recipes#tasty#foodporn#delicious#cooking#food photography#foodgasm#recipe
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chocolate malted milk cake
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Pros of letting your cat sniff your food/drink
Makes them feel included
Their reaction might be funny
If it's safe for them to eat it's ok if they have a little lick lick it's fine, here, have some butter, my son. Yes, numnum
Cons of letting your cat sniff your food/drink
They might try it and then become a fiend for that food/drink every time you have it for the rest of forever
They might sneeze on it
#cats#my son chester loves to sniff your food/drink. almost always he just sniffy sniffs then leans back cuz he's not interested#but just now I let him sniff my chocolate milk and he sneezed into my cup then promptly walked away so. thanks chester#also part of why I stopped buying smartfood popcorn was cuz he would NOT leave me alone he was HANKERING for that white cheddar popcorn
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#meiji#strawberry milk#chocolate milk#jigglypuff#charmander#pokemon#png#cute#kidcore#novelty#special edition
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Writing Prompt #14
"You foolish, stupid child," Vlad hisses, pinning Danny to the wall. Danny's eyes turn green as he wraps both his fists around the one Vlad has clenched in his collar, his feet dangling in the air. Vlad leans in, his own eyes burning red.
"When, exactly, did you plan on telling me your biological father was Bruce Wayne?" he says furiously.
Danny's hands drop in surprise. "W-What?" he gasps.
Vlad drops him unceremoniously and he lands on the floor in a heap. Vlad claws at the air in frustration.
"Don't lie to me, boy." Vlad says, omitting his often used possessive "my" in front of "boy".
"How do you know that?" Danny asks warily, propping himself up. He watches Vlad push a shaking hand through his hair. The man looks down at him before dropping in an ungainly squat beside him.
"Of all the sperm donors, Bruce Wayne, Daniel? Really?" The man asks, despairingly.
"I didn't exactly choose him, Vlad."
"No, I suppose you didn't."
"Seriously," Danny says, watching the man rock back on his heels as a growing pit forms in his stomach. "How did you know about him?"
Vlad's mouth twists bitterly. "Because he now knows about you."
"What do you—"
"Vladdy! Danno! What are the two of you doing on the floor?" Jack flops down beside them, a tray of freshly prepared fudge in his hands. "We having a heart-to-heart boys? Let me in on this!"
"Jack," Vlad says. "If you truly want to have a heart-to-heart with your son, I suggest you tell him the real reason I've come over today."
Jack's face falls.
"Vlad," Maddie says from behind him. "Thank you for coming. We're grateful for all you've done, but I think we can handle it from here."
"Madeline," Vlad says, rushing to his feet. "I must insist—"
"And I must insist you see yourself out," Maddie smiles tightly. "You know where the door is, don't you?"
"Mads," Jack says gently, looking between the two.
"I can show him out," Danny says, getting up as well.
"That's alright, Danny," Maddie says. "Why don't you go get your sister? We need to have a talk...as a family."
Danny glances at Vlad.
"Now, Danny," Maddie says. Danny heads for the stairs, pit growing ever larger.
--
The next time they meet it is Danny who has Vlad pinned, the gaudy chandelier above him shaking with the force of his rage.
"You should've told me," Danny growls.
"I thought your parents had you informed," Vlad says, utterly unbothered by the teen cracking what is thankfully not a load-bearing wall of his mansion. "Honestly Daniel, we could throw around allegations of deception on both sides, particularly mine as I assume you've known for quite some time now, if not the entire time, about your father hmm?"
Danny's eyes flick away in an obvious tell.
"Yes, I thought as much. But rather than whinging about being blindsided, I suggest we focus our energy on the solution."
Danny drops Vlad, barely biting back a snarl when the man lands gracefully on both feet.
"Which is?" Danny asks.
"First of all, your well-meaning but frankly moronic parents seem to believe that they can make a case for your custody without the assistance of my legal team. It is in both of our best interests to dissuade them of this."
"They don't like feeling indebted, Mom in particular."
"Well, to be crude for a moment Daniel, tough shit. Yes," Vlad says in response to Danny's widening eyes, "I said it. Bruce Wayne has the best of the best on his payroll and your parent's rinky-dink attorney from the local practice won't stand a chance against Friedman & Sons. Especially once he establishes paternity."
"He can do that?" Danny asks. "I mean I'm almost eighteen, can't I just refuse?"
"The keyword here, Daniel, is almost. As in, you are not. The judge can take your wishes into consideration, but I suspect Wayne will make a case for an unsafe living environment alongside his paternity to win his petition for full custody."
"Un-unsafe living environment?" Danny sputters. Vlad eyes the boy dryly before gesturing to all of him, currently clad in silver and black hazmat. Danny drops the transformation with a wince.
"In fact, I suspect that's the main reason the man filed in the first place," Vlad continues. "Lord knows he doesn't need anymore heirs to fight over his fortune once he passes—"
"Jesus, Vlad,"
"—so I believe he did some digging and found your home to be, well, wanting. On paper, Daniel, your parents sound eccentric at best, dangerous at worst. Pull the right strings, and hospital records just fall into laps. He probably thinks he's rescuing you." Vlad sneers. "If only he knew how quick you are to spit in the face of one offering you a comfortable and wealthy home."
"Fuck off," Danny says. "Is that what this is about? If you can't have me, no one can?"
Vlad rolls his eyes. "Come now, Daniel. Are you really intending to keep up this pretense?"
"What are you talking about?"
"We agreed a long time ago that no matter the nature of our quarrel, we would leave the Justice League out of it," Vlad says, taking a menacing step forward. "You think I, running in the circles I do, would have no knowledge of Bruce Wayne's alter-ego?" He takes another step, voice rising. "I have avoided drawing The Batman's attention for years, no matter how often our paths crossed. I stayed under his radar for decades, and now, BECAUSE OF YOU, I AM ABOUT TO BE RUINED."
With a creak and a groan, the chandelier drops, landing between them with a crash. Danny coughs from the dust as Vlad takes a heaving, calming breath.
"Then why get involved at all?" Danny asks, staring at the ground.
Vlad sighs, clapping his hands twice. Several ghosts dressed in service uniforms fly out the woodwork, gathering up bits of chandelier as others begin to mop.
"Because, little badger," Vlad says, walking away from the mess. "If we lose this, he'll have you in the palm of his hands. Which is infinitely worse."
Entering the kitchen, he pulls an open bottle of white out of the kitchen fridge and pours himself a glass, throwing a Fiji water to Danny who takes it for the peace offering it is.
"He won't."
"Won't what, Daniel? Please speak in full sentences."
"Won't have me," Danny says, letting a thin coat of frost spread over the bottle. He tips the freezing cold water into his mouth and wipes his face with his sleeve, mostly to see Vlad grimace.
"Why, because you'll run away if he wins? Until you turn eighteen? I won't have you fail to complete your education because of a cockamamie scheme, Daniel—"
"Because I have a solution, Vlad, one that doesn't involve the courts or running away."
"And what is that, exactly, Daniel?"
--
"You're going to leave my family alone."
"Danny," Mr. Wayne says, blinking in surprise at the boy on his doorstep and miles away from Illinois.
"I mean it," Danny says firmly. "You're going to drop your petition and whatever smear campaign you were planning on and leave the Fentons alone."
"Danny...why don't you come inside?"
Danny takes a step back from the manor's large doors. "You want a relationship with me? Brute force isn't the answer."
Bruce takes in the teenager, lanky but almost to his eye level. His eyes are clear and sharp, his demeanor forcibly calm.
"I debated whether going through the court was the right thing to do," Bruce says slowly, matching calm with calm. "But I wanted to be above board."
"Because my adoption wasn't?" Danny says, arms crossed. "Yeah, I'm aware. Kinda hard to adopt a kid that doesn't legally exist. And I know what you're going to say, the Fentons should've reported me to the system, but they didn't do it because I begged them not to. Because I didn't want my biological parents to find me."
"Danny..."
"You can swing your dick around and get your way, exactly the way I thought you would do things," Danny says, "Or you can have a relationship with me on my terms. A relationship where I don't despise you because you took me away from the people who've loved me no matter their faults."
"You're asking me to choose your happiness over your safety." Bruce says carefully.
"That's bullshit," Danny says. "I had a lab accident when I was fourteen and went directly against my parents' instructions. They trusted me, and I made a mistake."
"It's not a matter of trust. You were a child, Danny, and you almost died." Bruce says, not bothering to feign ignorance. Footsteps echo behind him.
"Bruce?" A voice calls. "Is that..?"
"Your son did die," Danny says. "He took a flight with your credit card to Ethiopia and got blown up. I bet you trusted him too."
Bruce reels back as a hand lands on his shoulder, the other on the door.
"Whoa, whoa, uh, Danny, right? I'm Tim, I'm—"
"I know who you are," Danny says, clenching his fists. Powering through the hurt he is causing. "I didn't come here to point out what a total hypocrite you are. I just want you to back off. And if you give me your number, we can text and I'll come to Gotham for Thanksgiving or the ski chalet in Vermont or your villa in where-the-fuck-ever and you can be Uncle Bruce that I maybe even tolerate being around once in a while. Just leave my family alone."
"Bruce, what is he talking about?" Tim asks. "Back off of what?"
"Your Dad is suing my parents for full custody," Danny says when it becomes clear Bruce isn't answering.
"What?" Tim hisses, turning to Bruce. "That isn't what we talked about!"
"Danny. I..."
"Here," Danny says, thrusting an index card forward that he's scrawled his phone number and email onto. On the other side is the past participle conjugation for 'venir'. "I won't answer until you drop the custody petition. Which I expect you to do by tomorrow morning."
"Done," Tim says, stepping past Bruce and taking the card. "Give me about noon to get it all squared away with the lawyers. Do you have a hotel? A way home? I'd be happy to reimburse your flight and accommodation."
"Overstepping already."
"Fair enough," Tim says coolly, raising his hands. "Our lawyers will reach out when it's settled."
"Great. Bye." Danny says, turning to leave. He waits until he hears the manor door close behind him before pulling out his cell phone.
Ring!
Ring!
"Hello?"
"It's done."
"What's done? Again, little badger, full sentences, I beg of you."
#danny phantom#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#dp x dc prompt#bruce wayne#batman#he is trying#listen he's not a shitty parent but he's had to rescue a lot of kids and i think it probably skews his perception#like does he look at danny and see another tim situation? probably#meanwhile tim is all too aware of that#tim “mister independent” wayne upon seeing danny cutting bruce to the quick: game recognizes game#vlad: overshadows all the billionaires EXCEPT THAT ONE#vlad the first time he goes to a wayne gala: exploring and gathering blackmail time! hmm what is this cave oh fuck oh shit oh fuck#vlad: young badger we should never involve the justice league in the ghost world and here's why- danny: agreed vlad: well that was easy#danny took a plane using vlad's miles#first class sipping a chocolate milk#is danny an al ghul? keeping it ambiguous on purpose#my writing#dp x dc au
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🌈 new fursona, give it up for new fursona ✨
#fursona#oc#furry#anthro#someone tell me i’m not allowed to name him lovely belle#i go by lovely isaiah on discord and he has bells..#he’s like chocolate milk++ LOL which ig is the point of a sona#king tulip gave me the push i needed to finally make a rainbow oc#yak#<- forgot to tag his species#lovely belle
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#upl#green#greencore#green aesthetic#matcha#chocolate#milk#matcha choco#matcha milk#warmcore#cozycore
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