#it was bad before but now it's sooo much worse
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ilbound · 11 months ago
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so a little lore for those that asked ( no-one asked ) : kaëltyr was regarded in long-lived mythos as this IMMACULATE LIGHT to humanity ( hence how it has been able to sustain faith for so long , methinks , bc people sought it as a benevolent creature & arbiter of fate , thus immortalized ) .  anyways , a primary facet of its existence is the motif of fire - “the breath of life” , according to some - an element distinguishable for being both a force for ruin as much as for creation ; for kaëltyr , each was true.
it’s well-known that kaëltyr would perform purifying rites by immolation when taking on souls into its realm ( literally , a brutalizing act that would purge away all former darkness & replace it with a cleansed , blessed existence ; in effect , what was left could barely be deemed “human” ) .  and many of their punishments were done with fire ( such as forcing those who broke the commandment “speak with virtue” to choke on their burning lies for the rest of eternity ) .
however , another aspect i find fascinating is the trial kaëltyr forced mankind to endure when coming to supplant it for a blessing.  so do you know ( you probably don’t ) how in dragon prince , the sun elves pretty much basically utilized the essence of the SUN ITSELF to test the virtue of someone ( rather , their “light” ) ?  i wager it was basically the same here.  kaëltyr would rip itself open , forcing a kneeling human to be exposed to the unbearable radiance of ITS OWN SOUL ( much like the sceptre the sun elves used ) .  humans would have to gaze , unblinking and unflinching , into this light for several arduous seconds while kaëltyr scried their soul.  Based upon what it found , it would pass judgment , either finding them worthy or unworthy of blessing and boon.  you can probably assume the rest.  those found to be “pure” were not given the option of leaving , though , they ( well , most ) were immediately taken and inoculated , never to be seen again ( though assumed to be well taken care of ) .
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emotivehardcore · 8 months ago
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Thought about the state of forcemasc kink on this website and got mad again
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guinevereslancelot · 7 days ago
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oh shit it's getting real
#there's a guy i have been CAUTIOUSLY texting#bc i do not want to rush into anything#but he's a friend and we reconnected (annoyijgly) the day after i got dumped#and the timing is sooo bad#but we really do connect alas lol#anyway we haven't talked abt whatever is going on rlly but we're talking every day now...?#very much getting to know eachother and talking abt our life goals etc (which the guy i DATED FOR A MONTH NEVER ASKED ME ABT)#anyway#i just casually mentioned my character and then he asked me abt it so i told him all abt the stories i'm working on#🤡#that i hope to self publish#like.....nobody outside my family knows that shit that's embarrassing unless it works out 😭#but telling someone abt the story ur writing is so intimate?? even when it's a silyl story#like oh shit this is getting real huh#anyway timing could Not be worse for this#thisnguy asmed me out last summer and i just awlwardly put him off and never got back to him and avoided him for a bit#and he's STILL my friend and he's STILL interested romantically tho so my abandonment issues like this so far#except im afraid he will realize what a flaky bitch i am and thatbhe can do better#also afraid im gonna hurt him bc im not in the best place rn and idk for sure how i feel abt him yet#and idk how to tell him one of his best friends just dumped me after being too embarrassed of me to admit we were dating beforehand#ans also how crushed i was despite only dating for a month 🤪#and slightly cant bring it up bc the other guy didn't want the friend group to know but at the same time should probs bring up#that i am FRESH off a breakup?? with one of his friends??? lol#idk 🤷‍♀️#i'm enjoying getting to know him and trying to take it slow but my track record in relationships is absolutely garbage#so i'm sure i'm doing this wrong#but whatever#i suppose at some point communication will be necessary but part of taking it slow is beating around the bush a bit i think 😂#but idk#i dont want to put pressure on defining the relationship before i even know what i want lol
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ff2-soda-pop · 2 months ago
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youtube for some inexplicable reason keeps suggesting videos to me about whether sonic 3 or mufasa will be the bigger hit at the box office and I'm not gonna watch the videos but also like. I really hope it's sonic-
#my reasons for this are as follows#1) I like the sonic movies#2) I am sick and tired of the live action disney remakes AND their obsession with sequels so to essentially do Both at Once is evil to me#and I need it to fail please ohmygod I cannot take any more of these please someone make it STOP#3) I have a very specific hatred of hyper-realistic cgi lion king remake and now they're doing ANOTHER ONE makes me mad also#also yknow what as an aside I'm gonna yell about lion king 2019 fuck it these are my tags on my blog and i am going to subject people to my#Weirdly Specific Opinions about a movie. anyways I mean again hatred for the life action remake obsession ASIDE like. it just fucking sucks#like for how much they hyped up how Realistic the visuals are and how Lifelike it looks uhhhhhhhh. it looks 'realistic' in the sense that#the models and textures are good and like that's all I can say about it#the actual animation like-#IT'S SO BAD. THE CHARACTERS DONT EVEN EMOTE IN ANY WAY AT ALL. IT LOOKS LIKE A BORING NATURE DOCUMENTARY BUT WORSE BECAUSE AT LEAST REAL#LIFE LIONS DONT JUST STAND THERE BLANKLY#and before you say 'oh but sage real life lions dont smile and have eyebrows and stuff' I KNOWWW#BUT ALSO LIKE. BODY LANGUAGE. COME ON. IF YOU DONT WANT TO STUDY REAL LIONS CAN YOU AT LEAST LIKE LOOK AT A HOUSE CAT OR SOMETHING#also it Extra pisses me off because the original lion king like.......... the animation is So Good.... and they clearly did their research#into cat body language.... and also THE ANIMATION IS SOOO GOOD......#and then the remake is um. well fucking look at it.#also they cant even get the ATMOSPHERE right like how do you even do that#ughhhh i haaaate that fucking remake i hate it soooo much#but uh. yeah anyways. hate lion king 2019 and sonic 3 needs to destroy mufasa
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vatelixx · 3 months ago
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The enormity of my desire (disgusts me),
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Very very early seasons (1 — start of 2) Spencer Reid x afab!BAU!reader
SMUT!! (and fluff, some angst in relation to Spencer’s past because it can never be too happy, we’re not allowed nice things here). first times & explorations of intimacy.
──── autistic spencer (it’s a central theme to the plot), reader is actually morally good (for once).
Warnings: sub spencer (what did u even expect?), heavy corruption kink, first time for Spencer (all i do is sit around and think about how i’d like to devirgin that genius), HEAAVY praise kink, very very inexperienced Spencer, slight? oral fixation, they’re both just rlly down bad (i told u i would write something light, i delivered), Reader is whipped, Spencer is sooo much worse. Biblical references, Religious imagery, i think i talk about math equations???? And random metaphors/complexes.
w.c: 4k
a/n: i rlly wanted to explore aspects of spencer that criminal minds swept under the rug (cough cough his undiagnosed autism, cough cough his social exclusion, cough cough his crippling fear of forever being alone). Next upload will prob be heavy angst/no smut post-prison spencer (god help me please, i must be a masochist for the way i make myself suffer)
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There’s a lot Spencer hasn’t done.
He knows he’s behind, that he never quite caught up when it came to the taboo of sex and intimacy. Everything, everything, he’s ever had has been centred around exclusion, alienation, he feels like he’s lived on pause. Frozen, never advancing, stuck on ‘go’. Touch isn’t easy for him, interpersonal relationships are worse. He’s different, god he’s heard that his entire life. ‘You’re not weird, you’re just… different’, but maybe he is weird. Maybe his whole existence is just one big cosmic fuck you, because he’s missed out on so much, so much that he can’t understand, comprehend, act out against. Falling behind; this is the only area of life where he continuously comes up short, inexperienced, naive, he’s not used to being incompetent.
He’s never experienced want the way others do. He could never just hook up, fall into the body of another, expose them to the vulnerable elements of his stature. Open himself up to scrutiny. He might be a genius, he might be intellectually advanced, accepted into a multitude of ivy leagues before he was old enough to vote, but there’s drawbacks to his success. Social awkwardness, an inability to blend, mould, be one of the crowd. Sometimes he wishes he was average, something grey and mundane, so far reduced from the person he is now— it would all be plainly simple.
But he’s not, he’s not. So, this is the weight he has to bare for the brain he never asked for.
Pyrrhic victory, he’ll always be renowned for his intelligence. ‘You’re going to change the world kid,’ maybe, but simultaneously, he’ll never get to experience said world. There’s a chance he’ll always be on the outside, watching normal people gravitate towards each other. Live dreary lives of domesticated simplicity. Stacked bills, arguments over money and parenting techniques. Going to bed angry, only to turn around, mid-night, and resolve it, to not sleep on bad blood. To take them off the couch, to settle into predestined sides of the mattress.
There’s not enough possessions in the world he’d sacrifice just to experience love.
Hedgehog dilemma, the challenges of human intimacy. The hedgehogs want to move closer, to preserve heat during cold. But, they are forced, biologically cursed to remain apart, in order to prevent themselves from harming each other. Spencer doesn’t want to be hurt, to hurt, it’s a morbid byproduct of his upbringing; all he ever endured was mockery.
He thought he’d never get to experience the physical, carnal aspects of existence. And sure, he made peace with the notion, accepted the consequences of being born atypical. Learnt to live without.
But then, oh then there was you. Pretty, intellectual you who quite literally tipped his world on it’s axis. Upheaved the most stable of routines. New to the BAU, he wanted you to last. To stay around, endure the worst of the job. If only for his selfish benefit of orbiting in your presence.
He remembers how it all started: Detroit, another case, more budget cuts, forced proximity that sent you spiralling into a shared bed for the night.
“You’re my favourite person in the team.” you admitted, “And I know that’s dumb, because we’ve spoken the least, but… you’re just, so you. That’s a good thing by the way, a really really good thing.”
He couldn’t quite believe you were talking about him. Spencer, who spilt coffee, and slipped into ceaseless tangents about obscure information. Spencer, who walked into walls when you were around, stumbling over his sentences before deftly, very astutely, giving up, walking away mid-conversation. He wore sweater-vests and colourful mismatched socks, it’s not like he was going to be crowned ‘white boy of the month’.
“Not dumb.” Spencer had responded, shifting closer to tangle further into the warm mess of this accidental situation. “That’s good. I like being me.” he mumbled. “Sometimes…. sometimes it sucks. But that’s okay. I think it’s okay?”
He moved to press his face into the crook of your neck, but you were faster, gathering him by tousled hair, forcing him to look you in the eye.
Oh.
“Please. Please.” he whispered, breaking apart, fracturing, “Please like me. And more than in a weird, ‘just friends or coworkers’ way.”
You did. You do. He should’ve kissed you then, but maybe he was scared, maybe he couldn’t quite discern his feelings, separate the logic from the emotional. So he waited, waited, waited until now. Your third date, you take him to an exhibition within a science centre: replica models of the solar system, filling rooms up, papier-mâché sculptures illuminated by light.
Best date ever. You listen, even when he’s rambling about planets, when he’s pointing out that yes, Jupiter’s density is less than water. That, technically, it would float in a bathtub, if one was built to accommodate its size. You don’t care that he’s not exactly the staple-piece for conventionally attractive males. That he’s nerdish, and awkward, and so so inexperienced when it comes to this.
In his apartment, later, much later, he looks at you, looks at you like you’re the one who just solved the fucking Riemann hypothesis.
“What do you want the most? Like,… if you could ask for one thing.” you say, and god, Spencer loves when you pose these deep, hypothetical questions. When you make him think, because you, you are the biggest challenge to his intellect yet.
You. He wants to say. But he settles for ‘Being remembered,’ instead. He works to untangle layers of fabric, your scarf, your jacket, letting out an exasperated laugh when he meets your amused gaze. “Right now though? I think I’d settle for kissing you.”
You cup his jaw, tracing your fingers along the sharp curve, and god he has perfect anatomy. “Settle huh? You should be more appreciative.”
He leans forward to press a chaste kiss against your lips. Drawing away for a moment, just to return because he’s never had this before. Because for the first time in his life, he gets it. He gets physical attraction, even if it took time. He’s kissed, been kissed, yes. But he could count those moments on one hand, and if you asked how many he truly enjoyed, he’d be left with no fingers raised.
“Believe me, i’m very appreciative…”
This isn’t like before, what he felt in the past; he expected something monotone, flighty, a brief fleeting moment of satisfaction. Means to an end. No, it’s actually the best thing he’s ever experienced, and he’s going to become so insufferable after this, because he’s just found out he is very very into kissing.
Correction: he’s very into kissing you.
In the moment between parting, and touching again, he assumes you to be divinity personified. Spencer has never been religious, but something of this magnitude should be canonised. He wants to ask you. Ask you when you became this beautiful. When you became the person he needs to kiss a second time, kiss a third time, kiss until his lips go numb.
A shaky inhale, a pause. “I hope… I hope that it was okay - I mean, it was good for me. Really, really good. Um—“ to be honest, he’s just glad he didn’t say thankyou.
“Yeah, Spence. That was… wow.” you draw your bottom lip between teeth, press into tissued flesh. Jesus Christ. “Wanna try again?”
Yes yes yes yes. He looks at you, pupils blown obscenely out of proportion. Part of him wants to say, ‘why didn’t we do this sooner?’ But that’s not fair; he’s only ready now. Now that he feels, now that he might be a little in love with you.
“Please,” is his answer, and then he’s catching your face in the palms of his hand, tugging your lips back to his, because admittedly, they have ached in the long, extensive period you were apart (53 seconds).
This time it deepens and Spencer sees stars. It’s an astronomical phenomenon, something interstellar— and god, he’s relating kissing to space. They should just tape the word ‘virgin’ to his back and call it a day.
There’s soft little breathy sighs escaping his mouth now, bleeding into yours. And yeah, spontaneous combustion might be a real threat. Actually no, it would hardly be spontaneous; there’s a clear, clear cause, and it just so happens to be your ruinous lips.
This is an entirely new facet of the human experience. The kiss is electric; he’s always been partial toward physics, and right now his veins carry an alternating current.
You know, he could probably write a thesis based on this.
You both stumble back back back until he’s hitting a wall, and yes, thankyou. He’s making all sorts of sounds he can’t justify, and it’s a supernova, an infinite black pool of— oh, he thinks he might die, ascend, transcend, when you press your thumb against his chin, hold your lips at just a little slant from his. Force him to wait there.
“Please,” he’s never been above begging. A worthy sacrifice, one he’ll certainly repeat again because you return to the kiss, and the world around him dissolves.
You’ve got one hand tangled in his hair. Tousled auburn, fingers sinking into strands, pushing all the way down to the root. The other is still cupping his face, keeping him close, keeping him selfishly close actually.
“Spence,” you murmur. And yes. Yes. He likes that. The way his name sounds rolling off your tongue, like it was destined to be there. Like he was destined to be yours.
His world is ending. So is yours. Fuck it, he presses himself against your thigh, and ohmygodohmygod. He’s being loud, he’s actually being so criminally loud right now because apparently he’s the most whorish virgin to ever exist.
“I lied, I lied,” he admits between messy kisses, “When you asked what I wanted the most? It’s not to be remembered, well it is, its on the list. But—“ he groans, kisses you again because talking interrupts matters that are more important. Like your lips.
“I wanna cum.”
Eloquent.
Spencer Reid being dirty? Oh, it’s hot, it’s so hot to reduce someone to such an obscene state. To reduce him, the boyish fumbling nerd (who just so happens to be the most beautiful person in existence) to such a degrading mess.
Still, there’s shock. Not because he said it (you greatly appreciate the indecent things falling from those pretty lips right now), but because—
“You’ve never? Haven’t even experienced it once? By yourself?”
He should be embarrassed, but his lips are red, his eyes are glassy, and the bulge in his pants is straining to be touched. “Never,” he sighs shakilly. “Never, and i’m— i’m starting to understand why it’s so popular.”
He whimpers, pushes himself against your thigh, because the friction, yes. “Is that weird? Please don’t think i’m weird. Because I’m really, really weird. Just maybe… not in that way?”
It’s never been enough. His body sometimes feels numb to the touch, and yet still so very overstimulated. Like he manually blocks himself from feeling, already prepared for the flinch. How does he explain that life hasn’t been kind to him? That he hates his body because of what people made it out to be when he was a child. Stripping him naked, tying him to a goalpost, always the underdog. The one to be targeted, tormented.
“It’s actually kinda hot,” you interrupt his thoughts, and just because you’re evil, corrupt, the worst, you press your thigh harder against his clothed cock, palm covering his mouth when a plethora of whiny sounds escape his mouth.
It’s performative, really. Alone in his apartment, there’s no need for noise control. So when your thumb slips between parted, swollen lips, he knows to suck. The average human hand has between 10,000 and 10 million bacteria, and Spencer does not actually give a fuck anymore.
“To think that you’ve never even felt what it’s like. That you’re gonna feel it with me for the first time. I get to see that shit— god, you’re going to look so fucking pretty for me.”
You draw your thumb out of his mouth, and he has the audacity to whine.
He’s never wanted anything more in his entire life. It’s all tertiary now. Only this matters.
“Please don’t praise me—“ he protests, “I’ll probably finish in my pants.”
“Praise kink, noted.”
You laugh, and he can only groan, curse existence for being this cruel to his overworked, undervalued body. “Don’t— don’t laugh. You’re not supposed to laugh, that can heighten performance anxiety. Increase insecurity, and…” he sighs, “You do not care. Sadistic tendencies, noted.”
“Shut up. Wanna see you.” you say, and he’s just muttering breathless mhm’s, too delirious to function; his body is betraying the last iota of self-control like the little whore it apparently is.
His sweater comes off first, then his top. Discarded fabric, his raised arms when you mutter a candid ‘up’, giving way to exposed skin. In response? Your pupils dilate. Spencer knows because he’s analysing, profiling. If you hate him like this, he’s fairly certain he’ll drag himself into a self-dug early grave. He wishes he was being melodramatic. That your approval didn’t have such a substantial impact on his carefully-constructed ego. But, oh, it does. It does.
Thin, with a long, defined torso, he blushes, rose blemished skin, when your hands drag across his stomach. He’d love to say he reacts sanely, suavely. Urbane to your touch. But that would be a total, discreditable lie. Instead, his back arches, seeking contact, following the path of your fingertips with pitiful desperation. He feels malleable, willing to bend and contort, if only to feel more.
“How can you not think you’re pretty, Spence?” His pants are gone next, then his stained boxers, fabric borderline sheer now, soaked through with pre-cum.
Spencer feels betrayed. His body never responds, not to his own hands, not to his own thoughts. And yet, the moment you’re on him, he’s a live-wire. It’s sick, heinous, double-crossing. Maybe it’s purposeful, done just to spite him. Figures.
“Holy shit, look at you. Look at how perfect you are.” Spencer wants to object, because he distinctly told you not to praise him. However,.. right now, the lights are on but nobody is home. Brain-death, he’s certainly in a vegetative state.
“Ohmygodohmygod,” he whimpers, because no amount of knowledge about human anatomy and physiology could prepare him for how he feels under your touch. No amount of education in the psychology of relationships could inform him of how viscerally wrong the way you look at him feels.
Because it’s not wrong, not all. It’s the most right he’s ever felt, and he’ll tell you that if you’ll just keep it up.
The sounds he’s making are phonographic, lewd, you’ve given up on trying to stifle them now. Where have you been hiding? Your eyes fall, and he wants to blush away from the exhibiting gaze, but he’s just…. too far gone; the thought of your touch outweighs any previous reticence. Then, oh then, you drop to your knees, and shit. He expected your thigh, maybe your hand if he was lucky, not—
This. Your mouth, your tongue, your pretty lips; god, god, is this a sin? Because if it is, he’ll take it.
“Please,” he whines, and he can’t look anymore because the sight alone is going to send him over the edge. He’s gripping the wall, scrambling scrambling for purchase, because he’s trying not to grip you, but how exactly does he keep this respectful?
He’s pretty sure they’re past that, considering your mouth is currently wrapped around his cock, and he’s debauched.
You want this, you want him, he feels like he’s transcended humanity, like he’s become someone, anyone and anything, that deserves the way you’re taking him apart, piece by piece. In the aftermath, he hopes you don’t leave a single ounce of him intact.
“Wanna kiss you. Oh— oh oh,” he’s sobbing now, “Come back here. Miss your mouth— even if it’s,” he looks down and that’s a mistake. “Please.”
Of course it would be Spencer to disrupt the best (and admittedly only) head of his life because he needs you closer.
You oblige, raising from your knees, and Spencer thinks it might be sacrilegious. But then again, he feels religion in your touch so it can’t be too profane. Maybe? He’s not sure, he’s not sure and it doesn’t matter. Ethics and morality have long since disintegrated, sins are engrained into humankind. He almost wants to thank Eve for tearing into the apple, because it’s allowed this irreverence to occur.
Spencer blindly follows you through the apartment, stumbling and muttering until he can collapse against the bed. Baring his pretty neck as his head hits the bedframe. Tangled in sheets, draped over his lap, his deft fingers run across your waist, mapping out the structure of your frame. If only to remember, recite this act of blasphemy.
“Spence,” you whisper, and then his lips are crashing into yours, stealing breath, stealing sanity. He whimpers, murmurs a protest when you draw back, and you can only laugh. “Lets get you off, yeah? You wanna feel an orgasm, pretty boy?”
“Yes, yes please. That would uh— yes.” he’s not even sure how he’s conscious right now. His body, god his body, has endured more pleasure in the last hour than it has for the majority of his life. Your hands scathe, and Spencer is willing to indefinitely burn, if just to feel them one more time.
You only stop to take off your clothes, and surely there needs to be prep? To reaffirm, he knows anatomy, the correct procedure, how the transgression is supposed to occur. And yet, that’s from a clinical, objective mindset. Do this, do that, etc etc. Nothing works out like that in practice.
You’re so wet, panties stained through, he spares a moment to run his fingers across your thighs, hand slipping beneath fabric to graze your clit. The moan that follows has him distracted, thumb tracing circlets, over and over until you’re pulling back to return the balance. The balance, which admittedly is skewed, tipped scales, you’re on top. He falls to the weight of your influence.
And yeah, he’s more than fine with that. Jesus, you drag your panties down, down your thighs, your legs, then they’re reaching your ankles, pooling there for a moment before they’re being discarded, tossed somewhere on his floor — leaving behind a souvenir that yes, yes this happened.
“I can’t,” he says, burying his face into your shoulder when you take him. It’s slow, sinking onto his cock like every inch of warmth will destroy him. Maybe it will. Maybe he doesn’t care, because he deserves this. He deserves to feel after so much repression.
Or maybe, maybe he’s just become the biggest slut known to mankind. Likely.
Your body presses against his, and he thinks he’s going to disintegrate, because he feels so good. He understands now, he understands why people do this. Why it’s integral to the function of most. This is the best day of his life. This. Is. The. Best. Day. Of. His. Life.
There’s this noise, this pathetically loud whimper when you start to roll your hips— and oh your body is wet against him, and you’re so tight, and it’s perfect because he doesn’t have to do anything.
He can just sit here, look pretty, and cry.
He knows he’s a giver, that he’d bleed himself dry for you. It’s a curse, he supposes: so willing to bend backwards for the satisfaction of the people he trusts. But, this is foreign, and he wants to watch you, aimlessly stare, dumb and empty-headed as you wield his body like a weapon. Turn him into something perniciously yours.
Spencer has no reference for what an orgasm is supposed to feel like, and yeah, he’s really good at guessing in these type of situations. Because he’s rolling his thumb over your clit again, and he wants to draw it into his mouth, to see you laid out across bedsheets, writhing, unable to do anything but suffocate him with your thighs.
You clench around him, back arched, releasing a series of strained moans. With one hand tangled in his dishevelled hair, the other pressed against his chest, your face contorts, your body stiffens. There’s no way his incessant whimpering just got you off?
Okay. So you like him desperate. Point taken.
“Please— please, wanna cum. Wanna feel it so bad,” he’s slurring over his words, sentences punctured by devastating whimpers. And look at him, asking for permission, waiting even though his body has been teetering on the edge for so long now.
“Shh, shh..” you press your forehead against his, and he melts. Reoccurring theme. His hand grips your jaw, thumb pushed firmly against your chin, keeping you close. “You wanna cum for me, baby? Gonna give me your first?”
“Mhm— mhm…” is all he can say. When you pick up your pace, he has to burrow his face into the crook of your neck, whimpers messy and broken off, suppressed against your warm skin.
“Oh. Oh…” he repeats, again. Like there’s anything else he could utter, because this is earth-shattering.
It’s the sun, and all eight planets combined, and the universe collapsing in on itself, and he’s bucking, squirming, releasing into you, spilling deep.
He sobs. Breaks down. Because it’s so so good, and he can’t believe he ever deprived his body of this.
Neediest whore to ever exist, apparently.
It takes him a while to come back. Longer to regain motor function, to sink into present day. Life, and expectations, and everything, everything, your touch eradicated.
“Just… just stay like this?” he asks, collapsing against your body after he’s drawn out of you. There’s mess, evidence of your ministrations, but cleanliness seems futile when he’s blissed out, caught in a post-orgasmic haze that yes yes yes he needed so badly.
You card your hands through his hair, watch the way he stares up at you, large, widened eyes, chin resting against your chest. “Hi,” he mutters dumbly.
“Spence,” Spence, Spence, Spence. He could drown himself in that nickname.
“Yeah?” he breathes out.
“You we’re so good—“
He rolls away from you, finding a home for his face in the pillow. “Stop. Stop.” he groans, “Don’t do that. You’re going to destroy me. I’m not… equipped for this, for you. Someone should just sedate me, put me out of my misery, a coma sounds like—“
He tilts his head to the side, relinquishing, “Okay. Sorry. Meltdown over. Can we shower? Then maybe do this again? Which will make the shower inconsequential, I suppose. There’s a new documentary I want to watch, and oh, you still haven’t seen the third Star Wars—“
He’s happy, content, over the fucking moon, to be silenced with your lips. “Yeah,” he murmurs, hand interlocking with yours as you both fall back against the mattress, “Let’s do this again.”
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shoresalt · 2 years ago
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long post about school
i cant help but take academic advice and suggestions and marks so personally as if they reflect who i am morally and my personality. even the simplest mistake of formatting a citation incorrectly ((when citations weren't even necessary i just wanted to provide a source... ) makes me think i am unfixable. and then i see 80s on my report cards and freak out inside. but if anyone else told me they got that mark i would be happy for them. i dont view even lower marks as a representation of my friends? so why do i assume others are having those thoughts about me? is it because i dont know my teachers very personally? and they're more prone to making assumptions about me? (are they even, really??) i feel offended when i see that i'm not at the top of my class. because it makes me look lazy compared to past grades, even if my teachers and classmates didn't even know me then. i'm afraid they'll see me failing and be mad or rude or think i'm no good. grades never affect the way i perceive others. why isnt it the same when i flip it to myself???
i need to find a way to understand that that advice will result in me learning! it does! i have demonstrated this! i can learn from my mistakes!!! i already understand it, logically, but it still pains me anyways. maybe its the permanence of grades. the way they dont change even when i learn something correctly or fix a mistake.
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theyluvkarolina · 6 months ago
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౨ৎ FOOLISH ONE ౨ৎ
masterlist / rules / requests & talks with me!
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SUMMARY౨ৎ Love sucks. Men suck. Even worse? Your “date” stood up up. To cheer you up, your friend invites you to a F1 race to cheer on her boyfriend and meet some new people. Not your thing. But a new face gives you hope.
PAIRING ౨ৎ Lando Norris x Fem!Reader
WARNINGS ౨ৎ men sucking ass and being assholes (lando not included), spelling mistakes
A/N ౨ৎ i’ve been holding back this fic longer than i should have 🥴 enjoy!!
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201 people replied to your stories!
user1 DONT TELL ME WHAT I THINK HAPPENED HAPPENED :((
user2 all she wants is love bro 😞
user3 being stood up for the 3rd time is so tough. i’m so sorry lovely ❤️‍🩹
lilyzneimer my baby :(( text the gc if you want to talk 🩷
→ y/n_l/n i will in a bit i just need to recollect myself 🥹
oscarpiastri who needs to be run over. name and address.
→ y/n_l/n oscahhhh 😭😭
IMESSAGES
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y/n_l/n
📍 Sunshine State
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y/n_l/n going on a trip 🌺🌴☀️🐬
1,498 comments
user1 i hope you have a wonderful trip especially after what happened :(
user2 girl you deserve this trip after the cheating ex-bf and 3 ghosters
user3 I NEED TO KNOW WHERE TO 😩😩
→ y/n_l/n that’s a secret 🤫
user4 you deserve this so much. men suck ass
→ y/n_l/n MEN SUCK ASS 🗣️ 🔥 !!!
oscarpiastri something tells me i’m going to regret this
→ user5 WHAT DO YOU KNOW OSCAR
→ user6 i’m telling you guys it’s a gp
→ user7 gp??? you guys know she hates them and she said it plenty times before 😭😭
→ user8 you never know.. 😋
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oscarpiastri has posted a story 12 minutes ago!
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562 people replied to your stories!
user8 HELLO DID YOU AND LILY LOSE Y/N??? 😭😭
user9 STOP NO WONDER SHE LOOKED SO LOST IN OTHER PEOPLE’S TWEETS😭
lilyzneimer oscar, y/n is actually going to kill us. why did she even leave the garage?!
→ oscarpiastri ✔︎ she needed to use the bathroom but i sorta forgot her directions aren’t… the best. → lilyzneimer she’s never coming back to a gp ever again. → oscarpiastri ✔︎ yeah. i wouldn’t be surprised.
landonorris ✔︎ i think i have who you’re looking for..
y/n_l/n OSCAR JACK PIASTRI OPEN YOUR MESSAGES RN A GUY GAVE ME HIS NUMBER
oscarpiastri ✔︎ why am i scared…
IMESSAGES
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y/n_l/n and oscarpiastri have posted new stories!
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738 people replied to your story! 849 people replied to your story!
user10 “who is this man” GIRL THATS LANDO NORRIS 💀💀
→ y/n_l/n lando who now
→ user10 your..? your best friends team mate..?
user11 NOT LANDO TRYING TO FLIRT WITH HER WHILE OSCAR IS TRYING TO FIND HER
user12 why do lando and y/n look like they got caught doing something they aren’t supposed to do 😭
user13 the lando y/n meeting wasn’t expected but now? it’s a need.
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landonorris ✔︎
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landonorris WWE FUCKIJG DID IT. P1 🏆
5,493 comments
user14 HE DID IT!!
→ user15 IT TOOK A COUPLE YEARS BUT HE DID IT!!!
user16 sochi??? what’s sochi??? i only know miami!!
oscarpiastri ✔︎ well done man 👏👏👏
lewishamilton ✔︎ WELL DONE
y/n_l/n y’know… f1 races aren’t so bad
*♥️ by Author !!*
→ landonorris ✔︎ it’s better with you here. i mean, i did win the one race you’re here 😏
→ user17 lando making the moves??
→ user18 the second hand embarrassment because she didn’t reply back after that 😭😭
oscarpiastri ✔︎ @ landonorris making moves on one of my best friends??
→ landonorris ✔︎ why not?
→ oscarpiastri ✔︎ but why
→ landonorris ✔︎ why not
→ oscarpiastri ✔︎ but why tho 😐
IMESSAGES
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y/n_l/n
📍 Italia
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y/n_l/n he said whoever loses pays.
tagged ; landonorris
1,250 comments
user19 LANDO-Y/N PT 2???
user20 is she there for emilia-romangna???
→ user21 I THINK SO
→ user22 the way they are fueling my delusion
user23 why are the cute together 🥴
→ user24 they can literally just be friends
→ user25 yeah and friends play chess and explore italy which is a romantic destination 💀
oscarpiastri ✔︎ sooo… did he win?
→ y/n_l/n are you kidding me? i wiped the floor with him
landonorris ✔︎ $100 down the drain 😐
→ y/n_l/n down the drain? more like down into my stomach
→ landonorris ✔︎ yeah yeah 😒
→ y/n_l/n ✔︎ don’t get pissy with me YOU are the one that insisted on going there AND paying BEFORE the chess game 🤨
→ user26 STOP THAT’S CUTE :((
user27 y/n and lando hanging out even though she hates grand prixs? this was not on my 2024 bingo card
→ user28 it def wasn’t but lord do they look good together
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landonorris ✔︎
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landonorris fun days 🌊
1,690 comments
user29 HELLO THE SECOND PHOTO???
→ user33 mommy? sorry. mommy? sorry. mommy-
user30 IT SO OBVIOUSLY HER
→ user31 her?? who’s her??
→ user32 y/n!! she’s oscar and lily’s friend and hanged out with lando not too long ago actually
→ user31 oh. but how do we know it’s her???
carlossainz55 ✔︎ little lando norris isn’t so little anymore 😆 they grow up so fast 😭
→ landonorris ✔︎ haven’t been little for the past 8 years…
→ carlossainz55 ✔︎ i don’t know the texts send say otherwise
oscarpiastri ✔︎ huh. interesting.
→ landonorris ✔︎ …😰
oscarpiastri ✔︎ @ y/n_l/n you left me and lily for him? this guy?
→ user33 OSCAR CALLING HER OUT FOR LEAVING THEM???
→ user34 classic oscar fashion 💀
→ y/n_l/n he promised me that he had something worthwhile 😕
→ oscarpiastri ✔︎ i did not need to know this.
→ y/n_l/n wdym???
→ y/n_l/n OMG OSCAR
→ y/n_l/n YOU LITTLE SHIT I DIDN:T MEAN IT LIKE THAT
→ y/n_l/n LANDO SAID HE HAD THE GOOD HÄAGEN-DAZS ICE CREAM :((
→ landonorris ✔︎ and it was some very good häagen-dazs ice cream 😏
→ y/n_l/n YOU’RE NOT HELPING LAN 😭😭
→ user35 LMAOAOOA
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y/n_l/n
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320 people replied to your story!
landonorris ✔︎ dare I say.. boyfriend material?
→ y/n_l/n husband actually ☝️☝️
→ landonorris ✔︎ updates already?? barely even a month in 🥴
→ y/n_l/n what can I say? You’re the one and when you know, you know 🩷
IMESSAGES
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IMESSAGES
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landonorris ✔︎
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landonorris might have lost the race… but at least i’ve won first her heart :)) (ps: the only blonde that would separate us is if you dye yours blonde)
tagged ; y/n_l/n
3,018 comments
user36 THE CAPTION 😭😭
user37 AFTER THE DRAMA??
user38 bro said “lemme make a statement” after the accusations 😭
user39 everyone assumed so quickly as if it wasn’t obvious y/n and lando were dating
user40 i was expecting this but wasn’t at the same time
y/n_l/n ✔︎ yeah maybe second place
→ landonorris ✔︎ can i not be loving and romantic?? 😞😞
→ y/n_l/n ✔︎ just joking love you my mystical gnome 🩷
→ landonorris ✔︎ MYSTICAL GNOME???
→ user41 HELLO THATS SO RANDOM
oscarpiastri ✔︎ break her heart, and i’ll run you off the track
→ landonorris ✔︎ yes sir. won’t happen sir.
y/n_l/n
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y/n_l/n i think i could get used to this sorta love. 🩷
tagged ; landonorris
3.959 comments
francisca.cgomes cutie(s)
→ y/n_l/n no u 🤭
→ landonorris ✔︎ it hasn’t even been a month and you already took my girl??
→ francisca.cgomes ✔︎ you snooze you lose 🤷‍♀️
user42 THEY BOTH DID IT!!
user43 CONFIRMED I REPEAT Y/N-LANDO IS CONFIRMED!!
user44 ITS HAPPENING GUYS Y/N FINALLY GOT A BF!!
lilyzneimer thank me everyone!! im the one that convinced her to go to the grand prix!!
→ oscarpiastri ✔︎ thank you lily!! (i don’t get to hear y/n’s heart breaking because of idiots)
→ user45 thank you lily!! (we all say in unison.)
user46 all it took was one miami win and one text message to convince y/n.
→ user47 booking my own miami ticket after this 👩‍💻
oscarpiastri ✔︎ okay… maybe you guys are just a bit cute
landonorris ✔︎ who’s that pretty girl and handsome man in the photos?? 🤔
→ y/n_l/n hmmm… i heard their names are y/n and lando the best couple to ever??? even though her boyfriend is a little stupid at times she still loves him 🩷
→ landonorris ✔︎ loooovveee youuuuuu
→ landonorris ✔︎ but seriously. i love you so much and i’ll never take you for granted or do any of the nasty crap you went through. you deserve the world my love ❤️
→ y/n_l/n what if i cried.
→ landonorris ✔︎ then i’ll wipe your tears.
→ oscarpiastri ✔︎ aw. (im hurling)
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jackass-jones · 7 months ago
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People in the notes have said physical therapist Akihiko and ohohoho you fools you fucking clowns you don’t even know. Imagine Shinji getting out of the coma and all the rehabilitation shit he’s gotta do all the physical therapy like you just know Akihiko is so fucking over the moon he’s done so much research he’s so excited to see Shinji have a “training regime” he infodumps about what’s happening with the muscle recovery process and what stretches work best hes just way too invested he talks over doctors and Shinji is just like “good god if you know so much why don’t you just be a physical therapist” and Akihiko’s like 😈
Akihiko becoming a cop is something that simply doesn’t happen in the coma route cuz Shinji would see that shit and be like Aki what the actual hell is wrong with you
#like he does feel upset seeing shinji in such a vulnerable state and struggling with everything#but it does get overshadowed by excitement mitsuru is like ‘please he just got out of a coma stop being so pushy 😵‍💫’#hes just so invested he gets to learn so much shit he never even considered before its so interesting#and i think itd be very important that hes much more aware of like limits this time cuz a big strain in his relationship with shinji was#aki being pushy and not understanding shinjis limits and shinji being bad at letting himself have limits and communicating them#and like its very important not to push too hard when recovering from a coma cuz itll just make things worse#its a big adjustment for both of them cuz akihiko definitely has always been told to push harder past limits and to always try to be#stronger and not let yourself stop and its more important now than ever to unlearn that attitude#and shinji is so all or nothing like he either quits too fast or pushes to the point of destruction without communicating anything#so its very easy for him to get trapped in a hopeless spiral when things take time and then get desperate and try too hard#but he gets a lot of encouragement from everyone this time and its sooo weird and annoying and overwhelming but it is nice#also quick tangent like really pisses me off when ppl write shinji just like MIRACULOUSLY SPRINGING OUT of the coma like he just pops awake#gets up and starts running to do shit which tbf the game does it too but its like dude hes been in a like 6 month coma#im not an expert i still got a lotta research to do but i mean theres so much shit hes gonna go through#even if theres no like brain damage youre still gonna have to relearn basic stuff like eating breathing walking and like. general awareness#of your surroundings and who you are and what happened to you and 6 months is so long too so its gonna be rough#im not saying you gotta give him like brain damage but damn at least establish that recovery is lengthy and difficult#his ass is not walking around!!!#also hes still got a lot of mental illness and like did get shot fully believing he deserved to die so like hes also gotta lot of mental#health recovery to be doing like unless he somehow has some magical therapy coma dreams things arent gonna be perfect peachy for him#i get wanting to make everything happy but idk personally i think id rather it be gradual and a struggle cuz its more realistic and like#i think having this character just miraculously be fine is such a disservice like i think he deserves to have love and hope for him even#when its difficult cuz his life will never be easy he’ll never be free from the trauma but that doesnt mean his life isnt worth living#and him being loved unconditionally even though hes a ‘burden’ is so so important to me#i just hate the laziness like wheres the love man wheres the genuine character appreciation#anyway physical therapist aki its canon now hed be so so good at it and hes got personal experience
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luvleyshif4 · 2 months ago
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rafe x reader.... she's touchstarved. Maybe size/height difference. Just the wonderful feeling of him being the protector (and 'provider'). They've only been dating for a little while but he figures out that her love language is physical touch. And she's so surprised bc she isn't used to receiving love. Prob a bad family setting... thanks, love <33
JUST HOLD ME
Rafe Cameron x Reader
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Warnings: Mention of family issues, emotional vulnerability, emotional repression, medium angst turned into fluff, reader is touch starved, implied toxic family dynamics, reader might have body dysmorphia (N/A).
Word count: 1.22k words
Authors note: heyy bb!! Tysmmm for requesting this!!! I already had something like that sitting in my drafts so I thought I’d just add some changes to suit your idea🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽honestly your idea made it sooo soo much better!! HOPE YOU LIKE IT CAUSE I KNOW I DO💗💗 (also I didn’t proof read this so let me know if there’s any grammar mistakes😝😝)
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The night was quiet, the kind of stillness that felt heavy yet comforting. Rafe’s truck hummed softly beneath you, the glow of the dashboard lights casting faint shadows across his face.
He had picked you up an hour ago, like he always did when your texts grew short and vague, as though he could sense the things you didn’t say. The roads were empty, a blur of dim streetlights and the occasional flicker of passing headlights.
You sat in the passenger seat, curled slightly toward the door, your oversized hoodie swallowing you whole. Rafe’s hand rested on the gear shift, his fingers drumming a slow rhythm as the faint hum of music played in the background.
He wasn’t saying much tonight, giving you space like he always did, but you could feel his eyes flick toward you now and then, studying you.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he finally asked, his voice breaking the silence but staying soft.
You didn’t answer right away, your fingers playing with the strings of your hoodie. The truth was, you didn’t know how to talk about it—the way your chest felt tight every time you thought about home, the way your family’s sharp words had a way of cutting deeper than they should. It wasn’t new, but it felt heavier lately, like you were dragging something you couldn’t shake off.
“I’m fine,” you said, the words automatic and hollow.
Rafe glanced at you again, his jaw tightening slightly. He didn’t press, though. He never did. Instead, his hand shifted, brushing lightly against your knee before returning to the gear shift. It was such a small gesture, but it made your throat tighten. You turned your head, staring out the window, hoping he wouldn’t notice the way your hands were trembling slightly.
The silence stretched on, comfortable for him, suffocating for you. It wasn’t that you didn’t trust Rafe—you did, more than you’d ever thought possible for someone you’d only been with for a few months. It was just that you didn’t know how to let someone in like this. You didn’t know how to let yourself be seen, not when you’d spent so long trying to shrink yourself down, to take up less space.
Rafe, of course, noticed everything.
He didn’t say anything at first, but you felt the shift when he slowed the truck down, pulling over to the side of the road. The engine idled softly as he put the truck in park, turning to face you fully. His brows were drawn together, his blue eyes searching yours in the dim light.
“Talk to me,” he said, his voice low but steady.
Your chest tightened again, and you shook your head, biting the inside of your cheek. “It’s nothing,” you muttered, barely meeting his gaze. “Just a long day.”
Rafe let out a soft, disbelieving huff, leaning back slightly. He didn’t look frustrated, just… concerned. And that concern was somehow worse, more overwhelming than if he’d been annoyed.
“Come on,” he said, his tone lighter but still holding that edge of care. “You don’t get this quiet unless something’s really messing with you. I’m not going anywhere, so you might as well tell me.”
The weight of his words hit you harder than you expected. You glanced at him, your lips parting as if to say something, but the words stuck in your throat. Rafe’s gaze softened even further, and without thinking, he reached over, his hand hesitating for a moment before he grazed the back of his fingers against your cheek. The touch was featherlight, and yet it sent a shiver through you. You didn’t pull away. Instead, you leaned into it, your eyes fluttering shut for a moment as if savoring the warmth.
Rafe stilled, watching you as though you were the only thing in the world that mattered. His hand lingered there, his knuckles brushing over your skin softly, reverently. “You’re allowed to let me in,” he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper.
Your breath hitched at his words, but you didn’t pull back. Instead, you let yourself lean into his hand fully, your head tilting slightly as though you didn’t want him to stop. His thumb shifted, lightly grazing your chin, and your eyes opened just in time to catch the way his gaze flicked down to your lips.
It wasn’t rushed or sudden. His movements were deliberate, careful, giving you every chance to stop him. But you didn’t. You couldn’t. When his lips finally met yours, it was soft and slow, like a promise. He kissed you with a tenderness that made your chest ache, his hand still cradling your face as though he couldn’t bear to let go.
Your body melted into his touch, your fingers gripping the fabric of his shirt to steady yourself. The kiss deepened slightly, but it stayed unhurried, every movement of his lips against yours making you feel like you were coming undone in the best possible way.
When he finally pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, his thumb brushing gently over your chin. He didn’t say anything at first, just looked at you, his blue eyes filled with something you couldn’t quite name but felt down to your core.
“You don’t have to tell me everything right now,” he said, his voice low and steady. “But I need you to know that you’re not alone. Not with me.”
Your chest ached at his words, and you opened your eyes, meeting his. There was no judgment there, no expectation. Just him, just Rafe, offering you something you didn’t know how to accept but desperately wanted to.
Your lips parted like you might say something, but no words came. Instead, you let out a shaky breath and leaned into him again, resting your head on his shoulder this time. His arms wrapped around you without hesitation, holding you tightly, protectively, as though shielding you from all the things you couldn’t put into words.
And for the first time in what felt like forever, you let yourself be held. Safe, warm, and, for once, not alone.
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minnies-puppydoll · 2 months ago
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thinking abt skz x hybrid puppygirl reader…
puppy being so so worked up in the middle of the night. it isnt her heat, but she needs to be filled so bad it hurts.
puppy walking to minho’s room, where she finds minho wide awake, already playing with their other puppy, seungmin. hyunjin is sleeping beside them, only half awake and still dozing off.
minho lets seungmin hump himself in minho’s hand. seungmin whines and pleads quietly, trying not to wake anybody. hyunjin is obviously used to this.
puppy watches from the doorway, squeezing her thighs and whining, wanting to join so bad but dumb puppy can’t use her words right. minho looks at her with an evil, knowing smile, purposely now jerking minnie off so you could hear the slick, wet sounds of his pleasure.
“aw. does puppy need to be filled up? puppy wants my cock?”
his teasing words made you ache so much worse, shifting your hips for any friction at all.
“mm, looks like she does. sorry puppy, im already sooo occupied with this one here..look at his face pup.”
minho tightens his grip around seungmin’s cock, stopping sometimes to swirl his thumb around minnie’s sensitive tip. seungmin writhes and grips onto minhos shoulders, muffling his little cries and moans in minho’s neck.
“look at him. you wish this was you? oh, puppy feels so good right now, he’s gonna cum. you wanna see puppy pop a knot right here?”
you actually couldn’t take it anymore. it physically hurt that you were empty right now. his mords and actions are so mean and unfair. thats when you spot hyunjin out of the corner of your eye, still half asleep next to the puppy madness.
“hyunjinnie, please i can’t take it anymore.” you slurred, rushing to his side on your knees. his head was hanging off the bed, now looking at you. he chuckles a little under his breath at the fact that you gave up on minho. but, he makes no move to help you.
you whine desperately as you move your face to the crook of his neck, placing little kitten licks on it. you hear a startled moan from hyunjin, he groans a little when you stop, sitting up and really observing how desperate you are.
you’re dripping at this point. making a tiny mess on the carpet where you are propped up on your knees, hands pawing at the edge of the matress, and posture so upright and obedient. like a good dog.
“please please hyunjin. please fuck me.” you whine, your tail wagging in hopes he’ll cave.
soon, he’s giving you exactly what you want. sliding into your slick pussy and pounding into you as deep as he can go. loud moans fill the room, you can’t think about others right now. you’re being fucked so good, all you can think about is his cock.
he always filled you so nicely. his cock is quite long with more of an average thickness. always had you bouncing and babbling on it like a slut.
hyune flipped you over and grabbed your tail, pulling on it while he fucked you even faster from behind. letting you cum around him a good amount of times before you all fall asleep together.
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sanakiras · 6 months ago
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TIDAL WAVE OF LOVE
PAIRING — choi seungcheol x reader
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WORD COUNT — 1.3k
SYNOPSIS — even the strongest of people break sometimes. you’re used to hiding your feelings; your boyfriend is there for you when everything gets too much.
TAGS — angst, self-esteem issues, fear of failure, mc has a bit of a breakdown :(( but also a lil comfort
NOTE — cleaning out the drafts! this is wayyyy shorter than my usual works but i still felt like posting it <3 i had a very stressful semester in uni before the summer break and i came across this video on twt of coups giving wonwoo a little comforting squeeze which i found very endearing sooo that kinda became the inspo for this!
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the moment he calls out a greeting to you from his kitchen, you close your eyes for a moment. it would’ve probably been wiser to have gone home instead of his place.
you greet him the same way, hoping he doesn’t hear the crack in your voice.
“how was your day?” he asks you once he’s returned to the living room, giving you a kiss.
you press your lips together. “fine. nothing special.”
the first thing he notices is the lack of eye contact you make with him. you’re also being considerably less touchy with him than usual, which he finds strange.
“everything okay?”
“yeah.” you put up a smile that doesn’t appear genuine in the slightest.
he figures you could just be in a bad mood — but that doesn’t seem to be the case.
he knows for a fact that it’s not with the way you’re trying real hard to hide your face from him. you only do that when you’re upset about something.
“baby, talk to me.”
“about what?”
the response comes out snappier than you meant it to. you two have been together quite a while — so he’s come to know that you tend to get a little colder and distant before the dam breaks.
you look at him so briefly to the point where he’d miss the motion if he blinked. the expression equals a silent apology.
of course he always does his best to give you whatever space you need. that being said, he’s also come to know you get into your own head a lot, and sometimes there’s someone who needs to pull you out of it.
you bite your lip in a pathetic attempt to hold back your tears. “it’s fine, cheol, just let it go.”
“well, i care about you, sweetheart. what’s going on?” he’s persistent but gentle about it. you have a habit of keeping your feelings to yourself and hardly ever letting anything out, which leads to everything just piling up and making things worse.
“i don’t wanna talk about it.”
the lump in your throat begins to rise.
“i can see that, but you’ve clearly got something you need off your chest. are you okay?”
you don’t show anyone when something’s wrong unless they mention it first. and even when they do, you’re hesitant.
it’s an exhausting way to live, but you still choose to do so.
it’s one of the reasons why you hate crying. your glossy eyes always betray you.
then you make — what you consider to be — the mistake of looking into his big, worried eyes once more, and you just completely fall apart in front of him.
the tears begin to flow before you can even comprehend it.
“it’s just—god, i don’t even know why i’m so fucking emotional, i just—” your breath shudders, the mildly angry expression that was previously on your face now nowhere to be found, “everything’s been so stressful recently, and i’m scared i won’t pass my classes, and i feel like such a slow learner compared to everyone else—”
he’s rubbing your back, just allowing you to you let everything out. he keeps quiet.
“i feel fucking fragile. and weak. every little thing is just too much right now. i’m sorry, i feel stupid.”
he lets you cry into his chest as his arms are wrapped around you, one hand softly rubbing the back of your head. “don’t feel stupid, baby. you can vent to me, always.”
the sound of your heavy sobs hurt him, because he feels like you’re always so hard on yourself, but he’s glad you’re releasing them. it’s healthier to let it all out than to keep it in.
“it’s just like i can’t breathe, y’know?” you mutter in the crook of his neck, subconsciously wetting his shirt with your tears, “i can’t take a single break ‘cause i’ll fall behind. i’m so tired. i feel like i’m not even smart enough to take the damn course, let alone pass the fucking test—”
once he feels like you’re about to start hyperventilating, he moves back to let him look at you. “long breaths. you’re okay, just breathe with me.”
he purposefully takes long, deep breaths, counting the seconds out loud to guide you, and it works. your breathing is steadying bit by bit, sobs faltering, melting into soft hiccups and numbness.
with dried tears and a slightly hoarse voice, you let out a sigh. “i just hate feeling so incompetent. for once, i’d love to feel smart. i wanna feel like i’m able to keep up as well as everyone else does, y’know? i’m… i’m procrastinating everything and i don’t know how to change it. it all sucks.”
“it’s not easy, baby. don’t be too hard on yourself.” he presses a swift kiss to your skin, and you hold him tighter, as if he were to slip out of your hold if you didn’t.
“it’s not easy for me. it is for them.”
“there’s nothing wrong with that. would you think differently if someone in your class had to put more effort into passing the course? you wouldn’t, right? because at the end of the day, you both make it to the finish line. that’s what matters.”
deep down, you know he has a point. you put the pressure so high on yourself, yet don’t apply the same logic to your peers.
you don’t really understand why.
“and you say it’s easy for them, but i know for sure that they put more effort into it than you might think. trust me. you’ll get to where you want to be, one way or another. if you take a little longer to do that than a classmate, who cares. it’s your life. i know you’ve worked so hard—” he twirls a strand of your hair between his fingers, “even if you don’t pass that class now, it won’t be the end of the world, and there’ll be another chance. you’ll get there.”
now there’s just a few last tears running down your cheeks. “except i’m worried that i won’t.”
“you will. and once you do, you’ll be happy that you got to that point because you worked hard and deserve that success. if not today, then tomorrow. yeah?”
you take a deep breath, exhaling slowly, the last shudders of your breakdown bubbling to the surface as your heart rate finally slows back to normal. “yeah. thank you.”
to show your gratitude, you give him a hug, which he happily embraces, pressing a kiss to your cheek.
“anytime. i’m here for you.”
even the strongest of people break — but they can still pick up the pieces and start over.
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do your best (but maybe not sometimes) <3
® SANAKIRAS — do not repost, remake or copy my work in any way whatsoever. translations are not allowed.
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dahlibae · 6 days ago
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your blog is sooo 🫠🥵 so good!!!!
Jealous sugar mommy Wanda has been so on my brain!! Every event you go to she makes sure you look stunning but it’s always an excuse to make sure people stare and flirt so that she can haul your ass out to the car and punish you. Just to take you back in with your head hanging blushing and sore as you try to socialize now. Just. Yes.
warning(s) — drabble: mommy wanda, brat!reader, kissing, punishment, spanking, choking (18+)
AHHH THANK UUUU SWEETIE :P
─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──
i won’t lie i’ve been thinking about mommy wanda and how she wouldn’t tolerate brattiness. or back chat. or any kind of attitude towards her. like at all. 100%… but pushing buttons would be soo much fun, especially when you know all you’d have to do is bat your lashes at someone in front of mommy, and she’ll have you spread over her lap in no time lmaoo.
at first, i think she wouldn’t go so hard on you though just bc you like to “bat your slutty eyes at anyone with cleavage” as she would put it. but it would be the fact you don’t cave into submission after she’s already told you off for your behaviour.
it would drive her mental.
you would say something simple like: “well at least she’d treat me like her gf and not a show pony” or even worse, “bet she’d probably fuck me better too” bc let’s face it, at these events wanda has to be all serious and more than often if she doesn’t need you to win her favours she leaves you to your own devices. it’s not rlly your fault you’ve managed to find someone else to keep you company.
but that is exactly what would do it for the older woman.
and the fact that she’s already spanked your ass red and yet you still have an attitude.
she’d push you off her lap and head for the drivers seat, not saying a word to you and not waiting for you to climb into the passenger seat. she’d just drive home as fast as she could without care if you were in the back or the front or even the roof of the vehicle.
even after you arrived home, she wouldn’t say anything, immediately heading to the kitchen to pour another drink. the silence would kill you, and you knew you were in deeper shit than you wanted. it was supposed to be just a little fun, something to rile her up. not exactly hurt her… so to make it up to mommy, you’d go upstairs and undress before kneeling on the bed waiting for her to join.
when she finally arrived upstairs, you could tell she had began unzipping her dress. her eyes were cold and drifted over your bare frame before heading towards the wardrobe where she watched herself in the mirror as she slid the dress off her frame.
“you know… i got all dolled up just for you baby.” she’d caress at her sides as you took in the sight of the red lace against her alabaster skin,“wanted to take you home after tonight and show you how much i love it when you’re a good girl for me.”
okay so… not upset. but maybe homicidal?
she looked like she wanted to eat you alive.
the dress left in a pile on the floor, she’d now stand in front of you, delicate fingers trailing over your sensitive nipples, licking her lips as she watched your skin shiver underneath her. absentmindedly, you’d raise your hands to grab onto her hips, fingers immediately reaching for the protruding bones of her pelvis you just love to kiss and bite and suck…and that snaps her out of her trance as she steps away from you.
that look of adoration she usually has on her face now replaced with the cold one from before. she’d step back into you, this time crowding your space, as her hand wraps around your throat, and she tips your head back to meet hers. you’d look so adorable, flustered with a little pout on your lips that she’d have no choice but to press few kisses, demanding entrance so she could suck on your tongue, before refocusing on the task at hand.
you had been such a bad girl for her.
and wanda doesn’t like when her girl misbehaves.
“oh baby,” she’d release your lips with a loud smack, “it’s too bad mommy now has to beat the brat out of you, huh?”
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anaconamor · 8 months ago
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known strangers - jude bellingham x reader.
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quick sum: when a stranger from the past is now your future, how are things going to work when the only thing in mind you have is that weekend and him. your boss.
wc: 4k | masterlist | jude’s masterlist
psa 🗣️: HIIIIII!!! ceo!jude ?? yess plsss!! inspired by a clip back when he did cibieles, and a few requests i mixed and played around with 🤭🤭 like always hope you enjoy!! and i am sooo sorry for delaying this!! yet i do feel i'm getting back on track 🤞🏻
“it should not be this fucking hot… why is it so hot?” you blabber to yourself, the wind blowing pieces of your hair around all over the place, making them stick to your lipgloss. you gently removed them from your lips, but they frustrated you more as they returned. your heels clicked against the floor, tugging your purse tighter once you arrived at the huge, tall building downtown. 
you were directed right away by the receptionist, her simple instructions to take the elevator to the last floor and then turn left. you felt frozen upon seeing the metal doors, a bubble of anxiety rising through your throat as you began to take it all in. the huge building, the fancy decor, the employees. you felt more than fortunate to land a job a couple of months after you graduated. 
most of your friends and people you attended uni with either landed jobs before graduation or were still looking for those opportunities. your line of work came in handy, and you were very pleased at how much you had achieved at your age. you could travel, work, spoil yourself, and make a title for yourself. this was the first chance for you to start your career independently and you took that very seriously. 
you scrolled aimlessly on your phone while waiting for the elevator doors to close, checking the latest emails and texts from your friends, holding your purse tight, and fixing your hair back to how it should've been before the wind ruined it. “advice them to assure they're all prepared, the last time they couldn't even utter a word and take responsibility for what they did…” you looked up, standing straighter as you heard a deep voice. 
the word scared couldn't even define how you felt at that moment, the blood rushing down your face and stomach-turning upon seeing a similar figure. the same person you spent a night with a summer ago. you recognized him from a mile away as he moved in slow motion, or was it just in your head? it couldn’t possibly be him? or could it?
you looked away almost immediately when you locked eyes for a few seconds, clearing your throat and pretending not to be bothered, but truly you were dying inside just a little. not a little, a lot, you felt like throwing up. maybe you were being dramatic, but a worse fear of yours was seeing somebody you recognize or know in public.
oh how much you wanted to be over, yet it didn't end. the elevator ride was endless, the four walls feeling like they were closing you in, filled with heated tension, and awkwardness. All you could do was breathe quietly, look up to be faced with his firm and structured back under his suit, or be on your phone. you let out a sigh of relief once you walked out, legs wobbly, and your stomach back in place, thankful you didn't throw up from nerves. 
you quickly forgot about it, knowing he didn't remember you or acknowledged it. you attended the first meeting of the day, getting to meet a couple of new coworkers who would be participating in the same campaign as you. you all settled to get drinks and lunch together later on after finishing a hypothetical proposal and outline. 
a bead of happiness burst in your chest. you could get used to this, it wasn't as bad as it seemed and you fitted in with the rest of them there. 
—--------------- 𝒿.����  —---------------
“this weather is so bipolar i don't think my hair will handle it,” said lilly frustrated, shaking her umbrella and putting it away. “as an american this is completely different than where i live, i’d be dying from the heat right now,” she jokes earning a laugh from everyone. “i promise it’s not that bad,” chris sarcastically says shrugging off his coat. 
“that bad? it rained all week!”
you were allowed an hour break for lunch, so you all settled for a nice coffee shop across the street since the weather didn’t look promising. after debating and getting conceived by lilly, you ordered an iced coffee and chocolate croissant, content and ready to eat something. the whole group sat by the windows, getting distracted by the rainfall before julian spoke up. 
“have you guys met the ceo?” you shake your head no, having no idea what they were or who exactly they were referring to. “no, let’s not even call in that negative energy… the receptionists in the front were gossiping how he had super high expectations for us after last years team was a disaster,” julian stressed, shaking horrified, almost as he had been part of it. 
“who exactly is the ceo?” you asked with an unsure smile, earning looks and daggers. “what? what do you mean you don’t know who he is? he basically runs this entire city!” julian was first to speak making you laugh, “you’re joking right?” you deadpan earning a shake from julian. “no… you do realize we have a meeting later with him… right?” 
“i barely fully moved in two days ago and haven’t had time to do any research,” you explain taking a sip of your drink. “okay why did i also not know this?” chris exclaimed taking his phone out immediately to check his email. 
“guys we can’t forget stuff like this especially when he has strictly scheduled meetings with us! i’m not lying when i say this man will fire us on the spot,” stressed julian making you and lilly snicker a laugh but totally agreeing with him. you couldn’t lose this job just because of minor details like this. you needed to be prepared and organized. 
“what else do you know about this ceo?” lilly teased him, laughing when he squinted his eyes towards her. 
“well for starters this man is strict and loves his work done in a well manner. if he believes you won't succeed with him, he won't even bother to call you into his office. he was born and raised in england his whole life, he's considered like royalty now with the status he has. you can probably piece he’s the most young eligible bachelor if women are luck to cross his path.” 
“he started his company at a young age, no one knows by what or what inspired him, but it's rumored by a small incident when he was young. he's rated most arogant, executive, successful, directorial ceo in all of europe. If that doesn’t scare you than i don’t know what does…” he finished saying. 
“well then… no pressure guys,” you joked 
—--------------- 𝒿.𝒷  —---------------
“my hand hurts i can’t write anymore,” you sigh removing your glasses and gently closing your eyes feeling how dry and irritated they were, from switching to your ipad and writing notes in your notebook. “that double espresso shot hasn’t kicked in yet,” yawned chris, standing up and stretched. 
“for our first day we haven’t done so bad-”
a knock on the glass doors made everyone turn their head, a woman in her late 50s came in, “your scheduled meeting with the ceo is in five.” a sudden mood shift was practically immediate, everyone glancing at each other before prancing around to gather their items. julian even taking a breather before being the first to walk out. 
your steps stopped, lilly almost crashing into you as you stared ahead to the one person you didn’t think of ever seeing again. jude. there was no describing how you felt, you couldn’t hear anything around you, just focused on him. How he spoke and had this angry daze on him. julian wasn't lying when he said everyone feared him, you just prayed he didn’t call or recognize you. 
“you good?”
“y-yeah-h i’m fine! It just hit me out of nowhere you,” you quickly lied, offering a small smile before hiding behind everyone. 
jude looked up dismissing what seemed like his assistant before stepping over to where you all stood. luck didn’t seem to be on your side, since everyone got into a line and put on their most professional smile. jude shook everyone's hand, greeting them and welcoming them to his company. your chest moved up and down as he approached you, biting the inside of your lip anxiously. 
“hello, welcome. i’m jude bellingham, it's a delight… to have you here,” jude stammered, his hand shaking yours slower almost as if he wanted to take a better look. you barely looked up just focused on shaking his hand and for him to continue down to the last person. “thank you for having us here,” you spoke softly, removing your hand gently so he could continue on. 
jude’s stare lingered on you earning a small shove from lilly who asked with her eyes, “does he know you? do you know him?” you ignored, rather focusing now on your shoes which you had not noticed had mud on them, a headache wanting to appear just by the couple last minutes. 
how was it possible? how was it possible for the two of you to be here? in the same room? he was now your boss, and you were his employee. you were to follow his rules, while he just observed and made them. this wasn’t how it was supposed to go. you envisioned a dream different than this. you were convinced it was someone else but not him? 
you avoided him at all costs, not wanting to make it weird for him or yourself, but rather save the embarrassment and fear you felt for some other time. if you felt he got nearer you walked away somewhere else, you looked up when it felt like he was the only one staring at you while he spoke. the only constant thought in your head was to act like the professional y/n everyone knew. the one who held her head up high, and got her way no matter what. 
------- ୨୧ -------
“why is it you’re doing this?” you asked cheerfully, slipping into jude’s hold as he fixed his sunglasses and laid back on the pool chair. “i don’t understand what you mean?” he shrug, his hand racing from your spine down to your bum, where he rubbed it softly over the bikini material. “explain to me darling.”
“we just met jude… it feels like we’ve known each other longer… surely it feels like something else…”
jude chuckled. “i’ll keep it simple. i happened to be on a business trip and i stumbled across you. you’ve recently graduated, and traveled here to celebrate. though now you're here with me… in this lounge chair, in my bed, in my arms, because that how attached we’ve gotten? tell me i’m wrong?” he challenged, as he leaned up and slid you onto his lap. 
“you’re wrong,” you dared with a huge smile on your face sliding your hands onto his shoulders feeling his lips pepper kisses onto your jaw. 
“then i’m not doing my job correctly.” 
------- ୨୧ -------
“i wanna know more about you, tell me,” you leaned over slightly grabbing his hand and brushed your thumb softly over his knuckles. jude’s eyes followed your movements feeling hesitant since he never did this. his job didn’t allow him to have enough personal time to be himself. but with you, he’d kill to spend every moment together. 
so he found himself losing himself in your eyes and allowing himself to reply to any question, doubt, feeling you had. “i promise i’m not that interesting as you think…” 
“surely that can’t be true? there's always something more hidden, a locked mystery in a person who doesn't fully show themselves to the world…” you reply taking a sip of your wine staring into his intense eyes, not knowing that behind them jude was already obsessing and going crazy about the idea of you. you allowed yourself to be you and vulnerable, why couldnt he?
“ask me anything.” 
------- ୨୧ -------
“what's the biggest aspiration you had as a kid?” jude randomly asked, tucking his head closer into your neck. “the word aspiration would be impossible for five year old me to know. the dream she had was to explore the ocean as a mermaid, then grow up to be teacher,” you rambled.
“would she be proud of the person you are now?” 
“she would be mad because of stubborn she was but yes, more than proud…” 
------- ୨୧ -------
Jude’s chest burned with anger, grabbing the nearest item before throwing hearing it break into tiny pieces. He took a seat by the balcony looking over to the small 
‘dear jude, 
the past week has been the most strangest yet fulfilled week i’ve ever had. never did i imagine to meet an extraordinary person like you. and so it pains me write this knowing we have different and separate lives. believe me, i’m saving you from something that would’ve turned ugly. you deserve better and its not me. you have exclusivity, a richer mentality that i know for sure i can’t live up to… just think of me of the one person who you first ever truly got to be yourself with… five year old jude would be proud.
- y/n ♡︎
jude was back to the old him. the one before meeting you. the one too busy for anything and focused on his companies future. yet he couldn’t think at all, your scent lingering around his rrom, in the white button up you wore the night before, just right after moaning his name during your high.  
he laughed in disbelief, once again feeling the disappointment and pain in his chest, gliding across the room to the coffee bar where a almost empty bottle of whiskey stood. not thinking it one second and grabbing the bottle to take a huge jug of the bitter drink. 
“exclusivity my ass.”
—--------------- 𝒿.𝒷  —---------------
“anything else we can get for you sir?” your coworker asks, jude sighing and loosing his tie. you looked down at your feet, making sure your heels were still shiny after stepping on mud but cleaning it off as you shifted your weight nervously. “you. what’s your name?” his tone laced with a demanding manner. “me?-” lilly blurted.
“no her, the one next to you.” 
“i’m y/n… what can i help with,” you nodded. you felt exposed under a microscope. like a new scientific specie discovered. everyone's eyes were on you, making you want to run out and book the first flight back. jude’s eyes widen a tad bit, not knowing if he was just taking you in or if he remembered that same night back in the almafi coast. 
“that’s it for today. i will see you all wednesday,” jude shook his head, a bubble of relief bursting through his chest when he recognized you. that same excitement from that night you first met, where you spent the entire evening together, drinks, dinner, dancing, to then sharing his bed in the most intimate manner. 
had you remembered him like he did? 
“y/n? please stay back, i’d like to run a few things with you,” you were sure your stomach had dropped to your ass again for the second time today, heart banging in your chest that doctors would’ve busted into the room quickly. your friend gave you a confused look, receiving a shy smile from you. you weren’t sure what he wanted, or expected, all you wanted was to leave. 
“what can i help with?” you said again, taking short strides as you opened your notebook and prepared to take notes. “why is that i recognize you from somewhere?” jude pushed his brows in, eyes roaming you as you took a seat in front of him. you gulped afraid your voice would sound scared and small in front of jude. could you even call him that? or would you have to refer to him as sir like others? “uh… maybe you have me confused with someone else,” you offered a lie, pursing your lips. 
“no. i know who you are…” jude persisted
“i’m sorry sir, i think you are mistaken-”
“jude, call me jude.”
“j-jude, this is a huge misunderstanding,” you giggle nervously shaking your hands, watching as the tall man stands up from his chair and came around to sit on his desk right exactly infront of you. his jaw clenched, leaning slightly back as his hand interlocked and rested just below his stomach, watching as he took a deep breath. “some could argue it isn’t.”  
“i don't know-”
“last year i fired two people on their first day because they lied to me. will we have a repeat of that today y/n?” he said sternly making you scoff in disbelief. “excuse me? if me being here bothers you that much then it sounds like an ego problem,” you defend sitting up straight, closing your notebook. 
“i’m not here to waste your time or mine either. just get onto what you need to say,” you hurried no caring if you sassed or had an attitude. the nerve to threaten you, on your first day, just because of some history. ‘the history that keeps you up y/n’… said your conscious.
it’s true… and while you hated to bring him up, to recall every memory spent on that trip. you knew deep inside he wasn’t just a stranger. he was someone engraved in your mind until forever held its peace. 
you felt shitty the morning after leaving him. remembering how tears flew down your cheeks as you wrote the letter, how jude could sense the already empty space before you walked out. out of the room and his life. but never in your life had you become that scared of being that vulnerable and attached. 
every piece of him haunted you. the name, his music taste, the black tie he used the first night you shared a bed together, his briefcase filled with documents, the black gel pens, and gold watch. you felt him everywhere though he was no longer there. you knew the insecurities had won, and you accepted that a person like him could never be with you. the status, the medal he wore around his neck. you couldn’t be that. 
“what i need to say? it’s not even close to enough to what i felt after you left me… i know it was you in the elevator this morning, yet i fooled myself into thinking it wasn’t because surely it didn’t seem real…” you looked away rubbing your hands across your lap to clean off the sweat your palms began to build. 
“you didn’t mean anything to me… i lied,” you said quickly wanting to forget about him and to push him away. you couldn’t mess up this job opportunity. not wanting to risk what your colleagues, what the press would say. not wanting to risk the possibility of a lifetime just because of a week you spent together. you didn’t do all this work just to get nothing and over a man who just feel rage because of your fault. 
“you see, to me exclusivity means nothing to me. not when i know i have the voice to control and decide my life… to chose who i want to spend the rest of my life with,” his voice sounded deep, he looked so hot with his suit on. just exactly how you remembered if not even more handsome. “then do it with someone else, you aren't enough, never will be,” you appointed quickly, standing up and paced around.
jude scoffed a laugh, not feeling an ounce of hurt, rather the exciting feeling in his veins, he sat still in the corner of his desk as he watched you frantically. “baby i’ll always be more than enough, my name is jude bellingham,” he turned you down wanting to laugh at the glare you gave him. “There’s more to us than the almafi coast, don’t you forget it,” he stood on his point, knowing there was no way out for you. 
he walked to you, hands in his pocket, “i just needed a warm bed to sleep with at night,” you said trying to hurt him and make him believe you were terrible, but he could see the lies behind your eyes… “the lies y/n… when will it stop and just admit you know you can't deceive me…” his chest brushed against your back, feeling his nose trace your ear down to the corner of your jaw. 
“you don’t want to tell me its fate?” he felt you crumble, how you allowed him to hold and let him continue. “you don’t mean to tell me you aren't here because the universe put us in this exact moment?” he defied, referring to a small astrology talk you had when walking on the beach late at night. 
“you’re just bluffing.”
“no you’re wrong…” he shook his head, turning you swiftly where he lifted your chin gently to face him. “you can try to forget and ignore me at all costs, just know i’m the only one here who know you. not just professionally but personally as well,” jude intimidated. yet you didn’t feel scared or frightened. you felt drawn to be closer and closer, because its the aura and affect he carried. 
“this is wrong jude, what will they say! you're my boss… everyone is afraid of you…” you said softly, breathing deeply as your forehead itched closer. “they should be afraid of me especially if they have the nerve to speak about you,” he lifted your face once again, wrapping an arm firmly around your waist. “but when i'm with you… i’m the man who i was back in the almafi coast. i don’t have to be forced to be someone i’m not, i can be jude… the jude five year old me would be proud of…” jude continued, pressing a kiss on your cheek. 
“jude…” you whimpered, hands gliding across his chest where you slowly drew up to his neck. 
“i’m angry with you so angry… for leaving me… for hurting me… for allowing me to get to this point…” jude spoke, his brows drawn in angrily yet holding you so gently, shaking his head at every sentence. “i’m sorry…” you attempted but instead were silenced by a small ‘shh’ jude hummed. 
“it can be scary i know it can, but we could have saved us from all this if we simply tried y/n… all i wanted was for us to try. you left me confused, used! you let me believe i was used by you because you left in the end. i was scared i had pushed you away,” jude spoke softly yet with a tone filled with remorse.
“i pushed myself away… my thoughts were consumed by past actions and beliefs jude! i did it with the intention to protect us from this! from the hurting you feel, felt! i can’t allow myself to get so attached to a person knowing the outcome it can have. we both don’t deserve that,” you humbled.
“we don’t darling, we don’t… but you're here with me… in my arms, what does that say?” you shrugged at him, feeling to pull away but the feeling of home in his arms was to much to overcome. 
“it means that were known strangers, and it won't be easy to just work under the same building knowing what we did, what we felt. and i’ll do anything to prove to you that exclusivity and status have nothing to do with the future i picture you and me with. there is a happy ever after for us, can’t you feel it?” he placed your small hand against his fast-beating heart. 
“yes,” you threw yourself at him, jude groaning as he devoured you as a whole. your kiss messy, not an ounce of sweetness, making up for the long european summer that held the distance you parted with. tasting you like it was his last meal, engraving your closed his in his mind knowing that no matter what, you were his. 
“mr. bellingham? the orders from germany have just arrived, and we had the underground staff separate them-” a man's voice spoke as they barged in seeing the whole scene uncut, wide eyes and lips as he stuttered out a response. knowing he walked into a lion's den, and it would be hell to get back out. you pushed away from jude, who held a confused stare, to then glaring at his assistant.  
“oh no…” you whimpered scaredily. 
—--------------- 𝒿.𝒷  —---------------
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jokingmisfit · 9 months ago
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I Just (Don't) Need Help (Part 1/2)
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Yandere Batfam x Disabled Female Reader
Warnings- disabled reader, manipulation, reader is in pain, very light yandere themes
Notes- The disability isn’t named because I wanted to make it as inclusive as possible, although it is heavily based on my experiences because I only really know what I’ve experienced. The reader and Damien are both high school seniors, cause I said so. Reader lives alone because who needs parents?
It was the pain. That God awful pain that made you unable to eat, or sleep, or think. Everything in your body screaming at you to quit and give up, but also begging for help. In the end, however, there was nothing you could do.
You've tried, God did you try. You tried to work through it. You've tried to get help, but person after person, and doctor after doctor ignored your pain, ignored your symptoms and left you stranded in this unbearable hell. 
You just wanted peace. You just wanted to live without this unending pain. You found it confusing how a human can constantly go through so much pain and not die from it.
You were behind in school. You've lost another job. You were so goddamn tired. 
You pulled the phone off your in-stand. Sending a quick text to your friend Damien. You ask him if there were any important notes you missed at school and if he felt like sending you a picture of them. You let him know you’re fine, just sick, and hoping that’ll calm the quantity of texts he has sent you.
You have to be careful with him, Damien, he's easily irritated and highly intelligent. You’ve told him about your disabilities, but  you try to not let the pain show. You know he knows something, because he'll press you for information on yourself and stare you down when you refuse to do certain things. He knows it’s worse than you let on, but he doesn’t press like the others.
The text was only slightly changed from one you sent a few weeks ago. You didn’t have the energy to write a whole new text so you copied an old one, only changing it so Damien didn’t catch on and think the flare up was too bad. 
Despite only taking a minute or so, it already took all the energy you had left in you. Throwing your phone to the side, you tried to get comfortable, and you drift right back to a restless sleep.
~
A loud pounding woke you from your queasy rest. You wondered if you could slip back into that sweet dark nothingness, but with the noise being made you knew it’d be useless.
You’d gathered all the bearings you could, and a blanket for good measure, and made your way to your front door. Before you even got there, however, it was already opening. You stood there deadpanned as Jason looks up at you from his bent position; clearly finishing picking your lock. 
Dick smiles at you with an awkward laugh and greets you. “Heya… sorry for the intrusion, princess.” He chuckles nervously again. “Damien said you skipped school and stopped answering his texts and everyone got pretty worried soo, here we are!”
“Yeah, okay.” You say with a sigh and go sit on your couch.
Jason and Dick share a concerned look at your exhausted form. Frowns perching on Jason's face, and a worried smile on Dicks. 
“Sooo,” Jason started. “You feelin alright there, doll? Ya look pretty… bad?” He awkwardly asks you.
He and Dick sit on the couch with you while Dick quietly scolds him about telling you, you look bad. If it was for the lightness in your head you’d laugh a little at the brotherly behavior, but for now you opt to lay your head on Jason's shoulder once he’s settled on the seat.
“t’s jus a flare up…” You whisper out to them.
You really didn’t want to have a whole conversation. The urge to down all of the pain medicine in your cabinet comes back up. The need to just get the pain to go away. No, you didn’t want to die, but you wanted the pain to stop. You wanted to be able to appreciate your friends coming over to check on you. With all the overwhelming symptoms you couldn’t appreciate much.
With your eyes closed and head on Jason's shoulders, you had missed another look Jason and Dick shared. A mixture of annoyance, concern, and dark thoughts showing clearly through their eyes.
“Didn’t you go to a doctor for that?” Dick asks you with an irritated tone.
“Said he doesn believe me…” You tell him. “Think I wan drugs or somethin.”
Jason scoffs loudly at this. “You’re a drug seeker now huh?”
“‘Mm parently.” You reply.
Dick moves closer and rubs his hand lovingly across your back. You humm with appreciation at the action. Your exhausted form relaxes a bit more into the soft cushion. You move your head and hide it a bit more into Jason's chest. 
“Maybe,” Dick starts softly. “You should come stay with us for a while?”
You sigh in frustration. “Already told you guys ‘m not gonna use you like that.” You state angrily. “You’re my friens not a resource for me ta use.”
“I know, I know!” Dick defends, throwing his hands up in defense and laughing nervously. “It’s just, we’ve got tons of money and can get you an actually good doctor. Y’know one that’ll actually listen to your needs, birdie.” He explains passionately.
“Besides,” Jason chimes in. “You’re like family, hunny. We want to help you out. And Alfred has been dyin to see ya again.”
“I don’t wan to…” You tell them.
Jason scoffs. “Why not?”
This situation was too much for you right now. The pain you felt weighed you down and made it harder to hold yourself together. The little bit of poise you had was bubbling off you like melted flesh leaving you at the barest version of yourself, and that self was angry and confused.
You didn’t get why every time you got sick or had a flare up they got like this. Urging you to come live with them ‘cause “it’s easier” and “they can help” or because “you a kid” and “you shouldn’t be living alone”. What do they know? They were adopted by a billionaire and have a huge family. They don’t know what it’s like to feel the way you do. Of course some things they understand, but a lot of it seems they don’t.
It was irritating for them as well. They want to help you, but you always refuse. It always ends in an argument and you push them away for a while until you forget why you were mad in the first place. It was a tiring loop that everyone was becoming sick of.
You lean forward and out of both the mens touches. “I don‘t know why!” You sluggishly shout. “I jus don’t wan to. I don’t know why it’s always a fight with you guys… Jst let me rest please! I’m in pain ‘n all you wanna do is try and hold a conversation that we all know will only end in irritation.” You breathlessly tell them.
You stand on unsteady feet and start walking back towards your room. The stiffness and anger making you feel even worse.
Why can’t they try and see things the way you do?
Of course, they were wondering the same thing. Dick stands up to follow after you. Matching glares enter the brothers eyes as they mirror your steps. Determined to not give up this time when you clearly need them.
You’ve already buried yourself in the bed by the time the two come to your doorway. Honestly you were a bit surprised when they came to sit on the edge of your bed. Well, at least Jason did. Dick crawled over and layed propped against your headboard next to you.
“Okay… Maybe we’ve been a little too pushy.” Dick says.
“Maybe?” You ask glaring up from your covers.
He laughs at you. “Okay, okay, I get it! We’ve pushed too far… It’s just- it’s just that we can get you the help you need, and it’s not like you’d be staying forever. Just long enough for you to get a proper diagnosis and medicine or whatever to make things easier.”
The change from joyful to melancholy in Dicks voice had you feeling guilty. The way he poured out his heart into people never ceased to awe you. You shift to sit up more against the headrest. Jason’s hand found its way to your calf where it rested casually.
“You know we don’t want to force you to do anything. We’re just so concerned for you. We know you’ve been alone for so long, but you don’t have to be anymore.” Dick says love shining in his eyes. “I know you think needing help makes you weak, but it doesn’t, and what’s family for but to be there for you when you are. Can’t tell you how many times we’ve been completely consumed by worry for you.” His brows furrowed as he explains.
“Just long enough for you to get to feelin better. That’s all we ask, doll.” Jason adds on.
“Jus a little while? That’s all?” You ask hesitantly.
“Just for a little while, princess.” Dick answers.
You nod slowly and whisper an “ok”. The two men were immediately in motion packing you a bag. You sat up more and assured them you could do it yourself but they hushed you in excitement. Jason asked you if there were any specific things you wanted while Dick filled a bag with clothes.
All in all time moved swiftly as the two moved like practiced dancers. Within minutes dresses and sentimental items were pulled from their proper places placed into bags and moved out of your home. Dick picked you up despite your demands to walk and brought you to their car. The two of you were followed closely by Jason who carried the last bag of items you’d be taking with you to their homes. Claims to come back for more were made by all three of you as you left the rest behind.
It didn’t take much for you to fall asleep in the back of the car. The rumbling and pain induced heaviness lulled you to sleep like a baby in a cradle. Because of your peaceful rest your arrival at the manor was kept relatively calm so as to not wake you. Bruce coming out to carry you to your new room while the other two grabbed your items. Tim checks the camera placed in the bedroom to make sure it’s operating and Alfred prepares a simple snack for you to eat once you wake up.
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methoughtsphantom · 6 months ago
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halfas are the found family trope foster child
they all adopt each other. it’s the reason Vlad wanted so badly to have Danny as his son and the reason Danny immediately went with sure you’re my cousin now with Dani. it’s a survival mechanism from being so very few of their species. Sooo, halfa!Jason except he sorta isn’t yet cause Jason’s core is extremely ruptured from the lack of ectoplasm involved in his forceful resurrection. So when Danny finds Jason in his catatonic state he can’t quite tell the dude’s been dead and remains some, just that the guy for some reason seems very friend-shaped. Danny doesn’t mind his friend is braindead, and is also a john doe, he gives familiar vibes and that’s apparently enough for Danny to constantly find himself in the hospital doing his engineering homework on the room with the guy, and talking for hours about the updates on the absolute clusterfuck of the city and how he was from a freaking ghost town and he can almost even draw comparisons. he blabbers about how he’s not homesick enough times to even corner himself to talk about a ghost lore many times and how he’s just finding himself a little more prone to violence and in constant pain since none of the people he has adopted as his family are here with him and he can’t consider a place a lair if there’s isn’t someone of his in it.
But Danny could never drag someone with him just because of some it, after all it was Danny’s choice to come to Gotham to collage and not stay where at least his parents (good parents Jack and Maddie) were in Amity.
Ironically, Danny essentially can’t feel that his core has been spoon feeding ectoplasm to Jason. As months go on, the little ball of energy builds in anticipation practically vibrating in the waiting pulse of something (Danny doesn’t know but more often than not has he found himself laughing in happy confusion. it weirds him out in a good way) It’s really that he’s feeling the slow healing process of his friend (brother brother brother) ‘s core.Imagine it’s just about to properly, correctly heal when canon strikes back and Jason gets snatched by League assassins. Danny is left feeling like his core got torned out. His core had spend months helping another’s only to feel the other’s imprint and to not be able to protect it in return is— forget it being an obsession; thats like having your newborn baby being ripped out of your arms. An all assuaging feeling of helplessness that is devastating. Danny just beginning to feel like home lair when out of nowhere the rug is swept under him. Danny suddenly struggling to not flunk all his classes and beat every single liminal that he can feel crossing paths with him to the ground. Danny suddenly having his chronic pain (that hadn’t been so bad lately) dialed up to the point that there are just bearable and bad days.
The worse thing is he doesn’t know why.
Jason had only been a guy.
It’s only a three weeks before Jazz tells him she accepted a job offer in Gotham.
(and the guilt only makes him feel worse when he can feel himself feel better because of it)
now
whimsical time skip ✨
Danny is now on his feet again and friends with a Wayne of your choice (or maybe they were friends a little before Jay dissapeared and it was badTM cause Waynes? liminal 🥲) Danny definitely didn’t enjoy snapping off to his friend like that. anyways it’s been a year since that and he and his friend are having a grand time playing civvies, uhh let’s say dick because I want them to meet while ice skating, Also Dick because he definitely turns a blind eye when Danny goes airborne for a second there yep. He’s just having too much fun.
anyways as alwaysTM Danny doesn’t clock celebrities and like why would he, Dick is just the random guy who’s was fast to turn Danny’s slow day in the ice ring into a competition one day and brighten when Danny matched up his puns. So he totally doesn’t get why the guy’s so gloomy one day, anyways as you can figure, it’s Jason’s deathday and Dick is a deprecating bean, Danny tries to cheer him up by having him remember his brother instead and Dick attempts to, but even skipping through some photos in his phone make his eyes burn.
It is because of that that he doesn’t notice Danny absolutely freeze up at the photo of his friend Jay (Jay because he’s a John Doe, but that’s just too impersonal and so the first letter is J *wink wink*)
Danny absolutely doesn’t know what to do with this information, barely catches himself from asking Dick how did his brother die. Most importantly when because Danny just saw Jay—Jason less than a year ago, and this somehow doesn’t feel too recent.
Annd that how we find Danny digging into the Wayne second son tragedy. Staring at the date of death while the knowledge that they met almost six months after burns his forefront of his mind. Danny spends a day going over all the questions running through his mind over how the fuck he couldn’t sense Jay was a ghost—err was… in past tense?? what the fuck?? Danny would really like a refund on his ghost sense.
Anyways Danny goes check out the grave (now that he knows there is one) and boom although intangible he somehow triggers those shitty ass sensors/alarms that somehow didn’t go off when jason was literally digging himself out.
Obviously the bats get in the case immediately. And boy are they absolutely enraged that someone would steal Jason’s body.
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huellitaa · 11 months ago
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౨ৎ ⋆。• vogue beauty secrets 🐰 ๋࣭ ⭑
🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ hair
don't wash your hair every day! i think everybody knows this but i know a couple people who still dont wash their hair only 2-3 times a week. obviously it depends on ur hair type but only wash your hair when it needs it!
don't wash your hair with scalding hot water either. its not only bad for your body and face but its also bad for your hair as it ruins the natural oils and damages cells etc
if you have frizzy or easily knotted hair i recommend keeping a comb on hand in the shower and using it to detangle before putting in any products
i've been emulsifying my shampoo for only a couple of weeks but my hair is sooo much fluffier afterwards so i definitely recommend that!!
now i'm torn on this one but apparently shampooing twice is better for your hair than doing it once? i tried it one time and it did not end well for my hair type but i know it works for a lot of people so if you wanna give it a try then go for it ♡
i squeeze excess water out of my hair before i put in my conditioner so i can completely get it in there without
also change your pillow case often! this is for your face too, as the oils will build up and thats not good for ur hair or face. i change it once a week but 2x a week is good too if you're able 💓
don't go to bed with wet hair. stop doing that. its super bad for your hair and keeping it pretty & fluffy & cute
airdrying is my holy grail, been doing it since i was little and dont regret a thing. its a billion times better than blow drying & makes ur hair so fluffy too ♡
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🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ body
DO NOT. HAVE. THE WATER. BOILING HOT. i am guilty of this and have been for years but it has such a bad impact and you shouldnt do it! cold showers are better but i prefer warm showers so theres a middle ground (& its always cold in england, so id freeze to death.)
using body lotion after the shower has been such a game changer for me its incredible. makes you smell nice, feel nice, look nice, and its so relaxing and i feel like a princess after i do it <3
exfoliating is really important if your aim is for soft skin 💓 i have been doing it for months and as somebody with super rough skin its SO soft now
partake in some form of exercise. i hated hated hated sports and exercise when i was younger but i did do dance up until i was eleven and have been doing pilates consistently for months now, and my mindset towards it has changed drastically over the years to finally a healthy one. it can be a difficult thing to get into but make it something you enjoy. it doesn't have to be sports. ill make a post on this soon but it can be pilates, kpop dances, running, hot girl walks, anything! and most importantly, do it for mental health and physical health, not losing weight.
make sure you're eating properly. remember that 1400 to 2400 calories of nutritious substance is the MINIMUM. this of course depends on many variables including, weight, height, BMR, what it is your eating, et cetera. your body is so important & is there to be nourished and not neglected !!! ♡ (💭🎀edit: updated info on calories and nutrition from a lovely anon i received a message from this morning! ♡)
change your bedsheets every week if you wanna smell good, this is so important bc sweat and odour will build up if u dont and thats icky and wont make u smell good & probably isnt the best for your skin either!
i also put two similar body washes on in the shower that i get SO many compliments on & its really helpful if one of your priorities is smelling good
dont just wash body wash straight off, let it sit for a few moments so the scent can actually sink into ur skin
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🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ face
skincare every morning & every night. if ur tired or just not feeling it today then simplify it, just make sure you never leave it out because its super important! no. skipping. no work = no reward.
on this note, try not to have a too complicated skincare routine, as this can backfire and make ur skin worse than before. your skin isnt meant for 18 different products and 200 chemicals every morning!
never wash your face with hot water... this is also a given but just in case... it strips your skin of its natural oils and does more harm than good
stop touching ur face... just for those who need a little reminder
make sure ur sleeping enough. seriously disney princess movies meant it when they talked ab beauty sleep; it seriously makes a difference, so please try make this a priority, especially if you already have dark circles like myself! (like girl did you see aurora's face? my girl's skin was so clear i could see my reflection)
pay attention to what makes ur face puffy or irritated or makes you get break outs. i keep a little break out log in my skincare page in my journal (little teaser for an upcoming post 🤭) and this has helped me go over what helps or hurts my skin! i recommend this especially if ur prone to acne or breakouts 💖
cold spoons in the morning to depuff your eyes; ive only been doing this a handful of times but im making it a habit seeing as it really helps! (as someone who can get vv puffy eyes 😭)
hydration is so important, for everything in this list, but most of all (from my experience) your face! i drink A Lot of water every day. probably a bit too much. but its so worth it, my skin has been absolutely amazing ever since i started actually making hydration a priority. (and this is coming from a girl who didnt touch a drop of water when she was younger & had to go hospital for dehydration several times.)
i'd recommend scrubbing ur lips too in the morning when you brush your teeth, i saw this on pinterest aaages ago bc i had super dry lips and i do it every morning & every night RELIGIOUSLY. its so so good and i definitely recommend
i have super dry lips in the morning so lip balm in the mornings w my skincare is absolutely essential for me
i also put perfume behind my ears & on my neck so its the first thing people smell when they hug me! im a very touchy person and i love hugs and i love showing love to people so this is essential for me but its optional, just makes you smell good ♡
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