#it was always for them. because they were everything. and without them you are nothing at all. even if they dont know you.

[supermassiveblackholeeyes]

Note: I wrote these at least twice but I can't find the last one.

1: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

yes. more so with my dad than my mom, but overall - yes.

2: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

margarita

3: Do you regret anything?

yes a lot of things. esp regarding my studying and career choices.

4: Are you insecure?

I thought I was not but I realized that yes, I am a bit. Regarding my body and youknowwhat.

5: What is your relationship status?

Single as always LMAOO kai-

6: How do you want to die?

I want to be able to tell the people who love me dearly that I will be alright and that I am extremely happy for the life and love I got to live and feel - After I tell them all this, and then I don't know.

7: What did you last eat?

lots of chocolates and now I'm not feeling good

8: Played any sports?

I kinda tried to learn tennis but I couldn't, was fine while it lasted though. I'm hoping I'll learn skiing or snowboarding this year. or boxing. I'll be very very content and happy if I do. (psst or calistenics)

9: Do you bite your nails?

just the ... skin around...........

10: When was your last physical fight?

have never had a serious physical fight I think. but slapped my sister a few days ago nothing serious. BECAUSE she pissed me off ok?

11: Do you like someone?

nope. A fictional crush Vi yes. but apart from that noooo. or maybe? no. or maybe....

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

wow. no.

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

Hate is a strong word. many do annoy me but I love them all. I hate many government officials though. obviously.

14: Do you miss someone?

Yes my relative who is in the states.

15: Have any pets?

YESYESYES. I have a cat and a little dog. one is 3 and the other is 1. and also two dogs. but the first two are the ones I am close to and love veryverymuch.

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

I am feeling a bit stressed and over stimulated. and annoyed. I don't know the exact reason why. maybe because I haven't left the house for days even though I wanted to. and I am angry at everybody who I could've gone out with but I did not.

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

no just a peck on the lips but friendly.

18: Are you scared of spiders?

Yes.

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

Yes. Yes. A hundred times yes.

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

I'll search up what that is n come back to yall.

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

I don't even know what day it is.

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

I go from no to yes a lot. so it was yes for a long while and now, like now these past weeks I feel like I don't want any? I am a confused individual so I truly don't know. but if I do I want 2. a girl first and then a boy.

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

Noo. Only have ear piercings. I'm getting the itch to have some more either on the side of my nose, or brows, or lips. but I don't like the permanent scar that it leaves so I guess I'm good without them.

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

Now this question made me sad. because once, centuries ago, it was maths. and now? I do not know... Nothing. I really am good at nothing for now.

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

I always miss at least someone. I miss my relatives who are in the states... I miss my friends who were once my neighbors (or maybe the times I spent with them). I miss everybody always.

26: What are you craving right now?

A good balanced meal. A big jug of room temp water. My room and a new gym membership.

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

Yes.

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

I've never been anything.

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

Not boyfriendboyfriend or girlfriendgirlfriend but I think maybe... but of course not on purpose

30: What’s irritating you right now?

Everything. the temperature in the house. people. my friends. this country. the world. humankind and everyone.

31: Does somebody love you?

Idk about romantic love but other than that of course. :)

32: What is your favourite color?

Black. navy blue. pink. green. pink and green together. green and red together.

33: Do you have trust issues?

yes, but I also have trust issues towards myself because I don't remember shit.

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

A reaaaaaally weird and creepy dream that I was in a huge, tall hotel on the last floor and it was all dark except of the last floor where I was and I was shitscared. another was that some ti tu shkbi found me and found out I was spreading info about them (which I was not) and tried to beat me up but fortunately I was the one who beat them up in the end.

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

My sister.

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

Not really?

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

easier to forgetttt. I am not forgiving sh1

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

no but it was the best year after 2019 at least.

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

... girl don't ask.

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

no? tf.

51: Favourite food?

Maybe sushi? And there is this bomb ass tofu salad I love that too. and a nice pizza, there was one in Italy with some pears on it. fantastic. also anything with truffle. I love food... I also kinda became a pescatarian this year, Which I thought would never happen. Oh and add khinkali to the list!

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

No. I think that's a bit selfish and evil to think so. Not everybody deserves the things that happen to them. I believe more in the "meant to be"... that not everything can be predicted.

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

Unfortunately nothing. I did dance a bit and daydream, and ate an orange before that.

54: Is cheating ever okay?

nope. Unless the partner is like ab*sive or a cheater themselves. or something veryveryveryveryveryvery bad and you can't get out of the relationship.

55: Are you mean?

I-... I try not to be? I truly think I am not. I just.. sometimes ON accident I am mean.

56: How many people have you fist fought?

bruh... none.

57: Do you believe in true love?

Yea... Starting to doubt it a BIT. but yes. Also when I say doubt it I mean doubt that there is the ONE that is meant for you.

58: Favourite weather?

Spring weather... late may. When you can wear jeans/pants and a short-sleeve on top. and some sneakers. my fav.

59: Do you like the snow?

Yes. haven't experienced it in a long time.

60: Do you wanna get married?

yea........................................... I think?.......

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

Woof woof. Yes.

62: What makes you happy?

When I have my sh1t together. So eating good balanced meals, sleeping well, reading, ditching scrolling and daydreaming, GOOD GRADES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my family, good weather, the sea, going out with friends in the evening when the weather is nice, food. which I already said... When I am good at something. Nice and pretty clothes (good quality fabric), pretty thrifted shoes, good skincare. Beauty.

63: Would you change your name?

No I love my name.

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

Yea I have issues.

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Reject them-

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

YES.

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

Just talked to? my stepfthr.

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Maybe my sister? I don't know.

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

I believe you are meant to meet certain people.

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

yes.

70 horrible questions ... Fuck it

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? 02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? 03: Do you regret anything? 04: Are you insecure? 05: What is your relationship status? 06: How do you want to die? 07: What did you last eat? 08: Played any sports? 09: Do you bite your nails? 10: When was your last physical fight? 11: Do you like someone? 12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? 13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? 14: Do you miss someone? 15: Have any pets? 16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? 17: Ever made out in the bathroom? 18: Are you scared of spiders? 19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? 20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? 21: What are your plans for this weekend? 22: Do you want to have kids? How many? 23: Do you have piercings? How many? 24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? 25: Do you miss anyone from your past? 26: What are you craving right now? 27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? 28: Have you ever been cheated on? 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? 30: What’s irritating you right now? 31: Does somebody love you? 32: What is your favourite color? 33: Do you have trust issues? 34: Who/what was your last dream about? 35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? 36: Do you give out second chances too easily? 37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? 38: Is this year the best year of your life? 39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? 51: Favourite food? 52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? 53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? 54: Is cheating ever okay? 55: Are you mean? 56: How many people have you fist fought? 57: Do you believe in true love? 58: Favourite weather? 59: Do you like the snow? 60: Do you wanna get married? 61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? 62: What makes you happy? 63: Would you change your name? 64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? 65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? 67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? 68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? 69: Do you believe in soulmates? 70: Is there anyone you would die for?

[accio-sriracha]

"What's it like?" Regulus asked quietly, staring at the stars from their hiding spot in the garden.

"What's what like?" Sirius replied.

Regulus turned to look at him, the grass tickling his nose, "Being in love."

Sirius' eyes never moved from the stars, "Why do you ask?"

Regulus shrugged, "Just curious, I guess."

There was a long pause, Regulus assumed Sirius was trying to find the right words.

"It's sort of like falling." He explained, "It's slow at first. You don't even realise it. One day you notice the colour of their eyes is deeper than you thought. Less plain brown and more... chocolate coloured. The next time it's hearing their laugh and feeling yourself smile without meaning to, like your body wants to react, like the sound is... healing, I guess."

He paused again, finally moving to face Regulus.

Regulus nodded for him to go on.

"Eventually, all of the things you used to do as friends feel... bigger. Every touch doesn't feel so casual anymore. Everytime they say your nickname it's less of a joke and more like a secret, something sacred between the two of you."

He sighed, "Then, one day, you look up and realise how far you've fallen. And it's like there's no turning back. Everything reminds you of them. Everytime you make a joke you look to them first, to see if they're laughing. Everytime they walk in a room it's like nothing else matters." He laughed softly, the sound was nostalgic, "You find yourself looking for reasons to talk to them. Anything to be close to them, to feel their touch. Nothing is casual anymore, there's always... meaning, always something more left unsaid. It's understanding someone so deeply, and having them know you too."

Regulus smiled, "That sounds nice." He whispered.

Sirius nodded, "Yeah, it is."

"I want to have that some day." Regulus sat up, playing with a blade of grass between his fingertips.

Sirius sat up too, his own smile reassuring, "You will." He nodded, "Anyone would be lucky to have you."

���•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Regulus pulled away from the pensive, his eyes filled with tears.

"May I be excused, professor?" Regulus asked.

The professor nodded, continuing his lesson on finding a positive memory for conjuring a patronus.

Regulus walked out into the hallway. His hands shook as he scrubbed the tears from his face.

And, of course, a voice from behind him caught his attention,

"Reggie! Hey, I thought you had defense class this hour?"

Regulus turned, meeting the deep chocolate brown of Potter's eyes. His stomach flipped as it always did when they were together.

"I do." He sniffed.

Potter caught the look on his face and his smile dropped. At once he was standing in front of Regulus, pulling him into a tight embrace.

"Hey, it's okay. It's okay, I'm here." He soothed, his hands rubbing Regulus' shoulders.

Regulus couldn't help the laugh that escaped him, because the touch sent sparks across Regulus' skin.

Potter frowned, leaning back to look at him again,

"Are you alright?" He asked.

Regulus shook his head, his smile appearing of its own accord,

"I think im in love with you." He whispered.

Potter's eyes widened, he leaned back a little further, "Do you have a concussion? You sound loopy. We should get you to the nurse."

Regulus stopped him mid-stride as Potter began to lead him down the corridor. He shook his head, tears filling his eyes again,

"I'm serious, Jamie. I'm in love with you."

Neither of them made the Sirius joke, Regulus had never once seen Potter speechless like this.

Eventually, he seemed to find his voice again,

"You're in love with me?" He repeated slowly.

Regulus nodded, "I am."

James took a while to process this. Regulus realised he probably should have waited to give the news when Potter wasn't on his way to the lavatory.

He was just about to apologise when Potter took both of his hands in his own,

"I've loved you for as long as I can remember."

The words hit Regulus harder than he could have ever imagined.

Before either of them could get out another word, Potter was pulling him into a sweeping kiss.

Regulus knew without a doubt this was the feeling Sirius had been describing all those years ago.

But he was wrong about one thing.

Regulus was the lucky one.

[jiminrings]

anything

pairing: yoongi x reader

wordcount: 10k

glimpse: yoongi doesn't want to move on from his ex because she's everything he's ever known, whereas you want to move on from him because he's everything you've ever loved.

alternatively, yoongi's your best friend and you've been in love with him your whole life.

[ angst, fluff, friends to Not Friends to lovers, pitiful amounts of Yearning And Pining, emotional constipation, second lead taehyung being unbearable And delicious somehow, jealousy, the harrowing argument of what it means to seek growth n seek comfort, VINDICATION!!!, redemption ]

notes: because i've decided that i will never become sick of writing lovers who are doomed but not really, here we are 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ to get the full experience, pls listen to the song that was the inspo behind this!!

as always, lmk what you think <3 send in feedback n love to my askbox anytime!! 

Yoongi's only ever been with one woman his entire life.

Ever since he turned old enough to introduce someone to his parents without them mistaking it for puppy love, which in his case was at seventeen years old, Yoongi quickly realized that he doesn’t ever want to introduce anyone other than Haein.

Yoongi, at his fresh age of seventeen, made a pact to himself to never bring someone home again if it’s not Haein, because bothering a nineteen-year old you for your own house slippers to lend to his girlfriend (he didn’t want to spend his allowance buying a nice pair when he could just sacrifice his dignity by groveling at your feet for it) was too much of a hassle.

He didn’t like the fuss that came with forming crushes. Yoongi’s spent countless nights scrutinizing his first love’s actions during recess and microanalyzing her tone towards him from the morning earlier— he doesn’t want to go through any of that again. 

He doesn’t want the grown-up equivalent of it either, because all throughout high school and some bits of college wherein he and Haein were together and totally not broken up in a perpetual on-off cycle as usual, Yoongi thought that he was set for life with her.

Unlike you, he hasn’t had his share of multiple first kisses. Yoongi, not even once, stepped into a bar with wandering eyes and a hopeful perk to his tone. He hasn’t worried about making first impressions again, nor has he ever had to ask how many people came into the picture before him.

In Yoongi’s eyes, it’s only been Haein the entire time. There’s no before, during, and after her, even if the last phase in time is just something he hopes for and is not set into stone. 

It’s still Haein for him, the kind, starry-eyed girl that wore your house slippers when she stepped foot into his childhood home for the first time to meet his parents, and it’s been her ever since.

It’s still her, because she never knew that the slippers she wore was actually yours, which made it her one and only designated pair, so much so that she even took it with her when she moved in with Yoongi in their shared apartment.

It’s still her, because you’ve gone through multiple pairs ever since, and so did the boyfriends you took home to meet your family.

It’s still Haein, because Yoongi hasn’t moved on from her even if they broke up for good (or atleast that’s what you’ve heard in verbatim and what Yoongi refuses to confirm) a year ago.

"There's nothing wrong with being with someone new," you snort, your tone bordering on condescending to which Yoongi predicted correctly, simply because you’ve had this conversation a million times already. 

You told him that in your attempt to comfort him when Haein broke up with him back on the second semester of their first year in college, wherein he found himself wailing against your sheets at your dorm.

You told him that in your attempt to appease him when he broke up with her during their junior year, wherein he had to wipe at his tears furiously before fixing his tie because it was only hours before your graduation and both your parents downstairs are calling for a picture.

You tell it to him now too, in your attempt to convince both Yoongi and yourself, as he starfishes on your couch while reminiscing what could’ve been another anniversary (albeit choppy and not at all continuous) of the first time they held hands.

"Yes there is," he groans, his emotions maturing enough not to cry helplessly unlike the past breakups, but not enough to stop glomming onto you. “I don't want to talk about my favorite color again. I don't want to answer how many siblings I have. I don't want to be asked the extremely quirky question of whether I think pineapple belongs on pizza or not, again!"

"It's only normal to introduce yourself again and again until you find the right one for you!" you laugh, your self-built amusement keeping the entire situation light for you because if you don’t find a way to distract yourself from Yoongi holding onto Haein pathetically, just like how you do so with him, you’d be as devastated as him.

You’d be devastated too if you realize that there’s little to no chance of earning back the only person you’ve ever truly loved, if not more— except you’re not Yoongi, and he’s not Haein.

What you have to go through is more devastating because Yoongi’s never really been yours in the first place.

"But I want Haein to be right for me," he whines, his eyes sleepy from all the fatigue that comes with driving all the way to your place, just so he could be miserable around you and not apart from you. “Even if she's not, I want it to be her."

You’re quiet for awhile, and Yoongi doubts your silence because you’ve only ever chewed his ear off whenever he started moping about Haein. He’s noticed it ever since you were young; you’d never let a single second pass without overwhelming him with your words whenever he thought too deeply, too lowly about anything. You didn’t give him a break to even think when it comes to times like these, so Yoongi grows even more concerned when you give him a break.

He’s used to the noise that is you trying to distract him from everything that pains him.

"For the record, you already did those things twice in your life,” you murmur after some time, looking up from the glass of wine that Yoongi poured you and bought for your collection before he made the decision of crashing out over Haein in your living room.

"Oh my god, did I kiss someone while I was drunk? When you dragged me out for drinks last week? When-… when it was, uh, when it was the anniversary of me and her moving in and-…”

"No, you monogamous asshole," you interrupt, rolling your eyes. "You did it with Haein."

"What are you talking about?" Yoongi tilts his head, his eyebrows furrowed as he tries to comprehend what you’re saying.

You still look annoyed at him, as you’ve always done whenever he comes to you crying about her, but now, you look more subdued; like you’re a little more melancholic for god knows what reason (Yoongi knows it’s definitely not about him and Haein’s breakup), and a little less agitated at having to have this conversation for the nth time.

"I knew you first, Yoongi," you remind faintly, shoulders offering a weak shrug. "You had to do it all over again for Haein when she came into your life, but I don't see you complaining."

Yoongi hits pause on his agony to frown slightly, sitting up on your couch in order to nudge you with his shoulder. ”But that's different because I grew up knowing you. It's only natural for you to know me this way.”

The snort that leaves you borders on offensive, and Yoongi automatically narrows his eyes when he senses the hint of sarcasm in your smirk.

”You mean know you as intimately as your one and only girlfriend did? Maybe even more than Haein actually does know you?"

"If you put it that way it sounds weird, but yeah," Yoongi scoffs defensively, crossing his arms on his chest before looking up at the high ceilings of your apartment in surrender. “Aren't just close friends basically lovers without the formalities?"

Yoongi’s only ever been with one woman his entire life.

You figure it’s because of that so he doesn’t know what he’s saying. 

You figure it’s because of Haein’s monopoly on his feelings and experiences that you convince yourself that Yoongi hasn’t been kicked around enough, to realize that what he’s saying is enough for you to assume a higher, closer place in his life.

You figure that Yoongi only knows love because of Haein and not love itself, enough for him to tell you that being close friends with him is the equivalent of loving him in that light, only without the coveted crown that comes with being his first and only love that Haein still possesses.

"You're right," you mutter, downing the rest of your wine and the assumption that Yoongi knows it’s him whom your hearts yearns for. "It does sound weird when you put it that way."

( ♡ ) 

Yoongi’s a manny. 

More specifically and less confusingly, Yoongi’s a male nanny and he enjoys the job.

When you graduated two years earlier than he did, all he talked about was how happy and envious he was for you over being born earlier than him. He told you that you were unfair (and so were your parents) by bringing you to the world earlier and not as the same time as him, even detailing how he wants to be just a day older than you instead of you being ahead by two full birthdays.

When you graduated two years earlier than him, proving just how lucky you were (even if Yoongi argues that it’s your sheer intellect and not something as silly as luck) by landing a coveted job, all Yoongi could talk about was how he wanted to follow in your footsteps.

He’s not in the place where you are now, and although neither of you are bitter about it, some part of Yoongi still thinks what could’ve been.

“I should’ve never brought it up,” you apologize sincerely, nudging him with your knee to get the point across because you didn’t really mean to throw him into a loop.

You’re sure that Taehyung, your colleague who’s one year your junior and knew both you and Yoongi from college, didn’t really mean to offend the latter either, or atleast that’s what you think. 

You only opened up about your brush-up with Taehyung in the elevator because it was your first time bumping into each other having worked in the same company for so long, and you thought (read: thought) that Yoongi would be amused about the interaction too.

You thought that Yoongi would be amused about your encounter with Taehyung because the third question he asks you (the first asking how you were doing and the second asking if you were single) ventures straight to Yoongi and what he was up to. 

You thought he’d be amused that Taehyung still remembers how the both of you were attached to the hip despite being apart in year levels, but with the way Yoongi scowls (even for just the briefest second), you knew that you hit a sore spot. 

“Nah. It’s okay,” Yoongi exhales, glossing over the random question of Taehyung asking if you were taken before willing himself to forget it completely, and moving onto the facet that you thought offended him. “It pays well, honestly. I didn’t think I would ever score a job like this.”

“Me neither,” you shrug lightly, being relieved when you see the playful roll of Yoongi’s eyes.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he whines, throwing his head back in faux annoyance, to which he may or may not attribute to Hwayoung’s (one of the children he looks after) tendencies.

“I don’t mean it in a bad way, Yoongs. It’s just that, well, I pictured that you’d be this hotshot data analyst, or I.T, or something equally as technical and now-…” you trail off, the smile in your face genuine. “You’re a hotshot nanny.”

“This wasn’t my dream. You knew that,” he snorts, asserting his point by once again bringing up your extensive knowledge about him. “But I was just strapped for cash this one time, and I was behind on rent and my stupid, complicated job at my old company didn’t pay on time– then you already knew about my neighbors being these newlyweds with twin babies and before I knew it, I was looking after them! I was making bank by staying up like I’ve always done, and I get an audience when I’m talking to myself!”

Yoongi doesn’t overestimate your familiarity for him, and neither does he overestimate your sincerity towards his decisions. You judge him, sure (you’ve never made your annoyance for his weakness for Haein and his affinity for their backwards-moving relationship a secret), but you’ve never actually discouraged him from anything.

You didn’t talk him out of getting back with Haein all those breakups ago.

You didn’t talk him out of applying for unrelated jobs outside of his degree.

You don’t talk Yoongi out of anything, even anyone, that’s capable of bringing him joy.

“You love what you’re doing and you’re earning a shit ton. You don’t have to be affected by what an old classmate is asking.”

“That old classmate is working in the same Fortune Global 500 company as you are,” he chuckles just a little bit bitterly, making you nudge his knee a little harder this time. “But still,” he deadpans. “It’s okay. I’ll get over it. I can consider this as practice anyway.”

“You’re… opening up a babysitting company…?”

“Stupid,” Yoongi snickers, squeezing your knee tightly before his hold disappears. “No! I mean practice before I have a family in the future!” he laughs, shaking his head at you as if it wasn’t the most obvious thing in the world; as if his optimism for a future with Haein isn’t persistent. “I don’t know what’s Haein’s take on working if we ever do have children, but either way, it’s nice to know that I already have the basics mastered.”

Whenever you least expect it, even if you should know by now after spending so much of your life with Yoongi, he reminds you of your place.

“You and Haein aren’t even together now,” you mutter, keeping your gaze low.

“Can you shut up?” Yoongi groans, slouching in his seat. “I’m not saying we’re gonna have a family now. I’m saying maybe we’ll have one in the future.”

“But you’ve been broken up for years.”

“Again, Y/N,” Yoongi rolls his eyes, the playfulness between the two of you slowly but surely dissipating. “I need you to be quiet.”

( ♡ ) 

Your parents like throwing thanksgiving parties for you and your siblings.

It’s quite literally the joint event for all seasons because your parents don’t even dare to set out cake for anyone outside of your family to eat when the holidays come, promising to make the party they excessively fuss about to be an umbrella for the rest that they miss throughout the year.

It’s an event that none of you really asked for but your parents insist on anyway; mostly to celebrate their accomplished children, and just a tiny bit more to brag about the lives they’ve managed to cultivate.

Yoongi, like for every other thanksgiving party that your parents have thrown, shows up in his most prized suit. It’s his most expensive and cleanest one to date, and it’s a suit that he reserves only for your parents’ shenanigans; not for a relative’s wedding, and not for a rich friend’s event either — he wears it just for you.

“I’d hate to be your unemployed cousin during this time of the year,” he jokes, being unable to look around the room without locking eyes with atleast one of your relatives or mutual friends and waving at them, yet Yoongi’s not really peeved about it at all.

“Yeah, that side of the family hates us,” you laugh, the tension in your shoulders loosening when you realize that you have nothing to be anxious about, especially when you’re just across the person who knows you the most.

You have your fun in these thanksgiving parties, and Yoongi has his own. Your definition of fun means owning up to your achievements and not attributing them to luck, poking fun at your siblings behind their backs, and maybe striking up a conversation or two with a family friend that you forgot was more handsome than you thought he’d be.

Yoongi’s fun on the other hand, only ever revolved around you and Haein when it comes to these parties. Now that the latter wasn’t invited this year and he’s not capable of trailing after her like a puppy, feeling like an outcast amongst a sea of accomplished individuals, Yoongi can now trail after you, feeling like he belongs.

“Look at my parents. They keep boasting about you so much, you’d think they gave birth to you,” he nods his head to them, talking your aunt’s ear off as they keep gesturing to you, grinning when you catch their gaze.

“I don’t look at you as a brother. Gross!” your nose scrunches, making Yoongi roll his eyes and subsequently kick you lightly in the shin.

The two of you, thankfully, are okay. The awkward conversation that transpired about Taehyung’s curiosity and Yoongi’s own insistence of a future with Haein seems to never have sprung up in the first place.

You’ve known each other for a lifetime; it only felt appropriate, nevermind unhealthy, to let familiarity take its toll to make the two of you complacent enough to not apologize to each other and still be okay by the next day.

“My parents didn’t graduate college, but you knew that already,” Yoongi talks, gaze still holding out to his parents from a distance like it’s a stare he can’t break off because his eyes feel too comfortable. “They found a lot of things– a lot of people annoying because they made them feel inferior, but we never felt that way with your family, y’know?”

You’re not one to deny the distance between you and Yoongi; everything from your age difference, to how your childhood house overlooked his, and even to the feelings you share and don’t share, there’s an imbalance the two of you would never be able to tip.

“Your parents are genuine, close friends with my own, and your family never pitied ours,” he smiles, eyes crinkling in gratitude as he does so.

“I know that,” you return the sincerity, eyes set on his while his gaze is directed elsewhere. “But where’s all this coming from?”

“I see the way you look at me,” Yoongi shrugs, the second that it takes him to turn his attention to you making you falter.

You don’t know if you’re more scared or relieved at the possibility of Yoongi knowing about your feelings.

“And how do I look at you?” you test the waters, tilting at your head to try and closely gauge the tiny smile on his lips, but you come up empty.

“I can’t tell exactly, but you always look at me with some sort of guilt.”

“Why would I look at you with guilt?” a breathless laugh escapes you, the ease plastered on his face making you more and more pressured.

“I don’t know either! You tell me,” Yoongi laughs brightly, slinging an arm across your shoulder to which no one bats an eye to, because although they don’t know the two of you as well as you know each other, they have a semblance of it.

They know how you and Yoongi are friends; how you and Yoongi are close friends who are basically lovers without the formalities.

“We’ve known each other for a lifetime, Y/N. There’s nothing about one another that could surprise us anymore.”

“That sounds so boring,” you mutter, the words slipping out of you before you could even control them, effectively dampening the sentimental mood that Yoongi’s in.

“Excuse me?” he asks, a little bit offended but a lot more hurt over your comment.

“We’re not always gonna be the same, Yoongi,” you continue, staring at your feet with your voice low because it’s not like you can retract your words anymore; they’re as out there as you are when it comes to loving Yoongi silently.

“Do you… not want to be friends with me anymore?” he whispers, arm suddenly stalling as he tries to deduct whatever the hell you could possibly mean.

“Where did that come from?”

Yoongi chuckles uneasily, almost regretful he even said that outloud in fear of manifesting it. 

“I don’t– I-I don’t know! It’s just weird with the way you’re talking. Like you purposely want us to change.”

“You don’t?”

“No, I don’t,” he emphasizes. “If you’re already comfortable with the life that you have now, you don’t need to change,” Yoongi blinks slowly, unfamiliar with the way your eyes lack emotion. “I have you. I have the manny job. I have Haein.”

You’re quiet as you let Yoongi think and simmer in whatever he had to say, and he hates it.

“Is this life not enough for you yet?” he asks hesitantly, the premature scoff that leaves his throat making the bitterness linger for the slightest second. “What more could you want?”

You want to say it’s only him whom you lack, but you stay quiet.

You give Yoongi both the silence and the space to think, and he realizes that he’s never wanted to be overwhelmed by you more.

( ♡ ) 

Things have been awkward between you and Yoongi.

You didn’t mean to sound beyond ungrateful and out of touch, but simply (and maybe even arrogantly) put, Yoongi just didn’t get it. 

He didn’t get where you were coming from because he’s only stayed in one place long enough to call her his future. He didn’t get what you could be possibly going through because Yoongi only longs for comfort and not change because the latter wouldn��t benefit him in any way.

He’s right about him having the manny job makes him happy because he gets a heavy check and a learning experience. He’s also right, even if he’s rarely accurate when faced with her, about having Haein because you figure that if you were in his position, you wouldn’t ask for anything more.

If you were anything like Yoongi by having had the privilege of harboring the person you love and the life-long burden of having to yearn for her, you would be satisfied too.

It’s been a full week since the two of you talked and it’s the longest you ever went without any communication. There’s no texts coming from your end, but there had been plenty of it coming from Yoongi’s.

Yoongi, your best friend, knows that you didn’t end your thanksgiving party in the happiest note because he happened. He felt apologetic about it ever since because he didn’t mean to sound self-absorbed to the point of projecting his selfishness onto you; painting you as the villain would be the last thing he’ll ever do because he knew that between the two of you, you were the stronger one.

You’re the more rational, focused one who studied the same degree as he did, yet actually amounted to something infinitely more even if he’s the younger one who had more opportunities than you ever did.

You’re the more unyielding one between the two of you, because you can stomach ignoring him for a week while he’s about to lose his mind.

Yoongi could send a hundred more texts wherein he pretends to have mistakenly sent a discreet, low-lying sorry to you (because the two of you barely ever apologized to each other) instead of another person. He could react to a message of yours from two months ago just to try and see if you would comment on it.

He could even call you by Haein’s name just to purposely piss you off because he’d settle for anything if it meant breaking you out of your silent treatment, yet you don’t even move an inch whether he calls you on your phone or lingers in the coffee shop you frequent at in your workplace.

Yoongi can pull a hundred different reasons with most of them involving how he’s running errands with the children he looks after. He can say that Hwayoung knows your name (and he’s not lying about it either) and that she asked where you worked, and the both of them just happened to be in the area during their morning walk. He can say every excuse under the sun just to try and get you to talk to him, but you won’t budge.

Yoongi doesn’t like change but he likes the days wherein you rant to him about your day and ask how his went, just like every week before this one. He doesn’t like growth in the guise of everything he’s comfortable with being stripped away, but he likes the nights wherein he could call you and ask you to look after the children in the living room while he goes to the bathroom, when really, he’s just standing from a distance to look at you coo at them.

So when Yoongi got the call from your brother, asking him for a favor to look after your nephew if only he was free for the day (he wasn’t, but he made it work nonetheless), he immediately jumped at the chance of maybe, just maybe seeing you drop by at your family’s home.

“You’ve been ignoring me,” he says under his breath when he locks eyes with you in the nursery, your presence only being a surprise to him alone because he didn’t think you were staying with your parents the entire week when normally, you’d be a little high-strung staying with them after three consecutive days.

“Just been busy. Sorry,” you reply quietly, your apology only being an afterthought because you’re unsure who’s at fault.

“Me too,” Yoongi clears his throat, bouncing your sleeping nephew on his arms as he indiscreetly makes his way to you. “I’m sorry too, I mean.”

It’s weird for the both of you to apologize to each other.

It’s weird for you to see Yoongi in your childhood house and have no one question his presence, because the scene of him cradling your brother’s baby with a cloth strewn over his shoulder and your sister’s headband on his head to keep his hair away from his face, only looks right.

It’s weird for Yoongi to see you so torn up over him, and it’s even weirder that all the anger he had towards you for ignoring him just immediately dissipated.

Yoongi puts your nephew down on his crib with a precise gentleness to him, his hands cramping up not because he spent so long trying to get him to calm down, but because he doesn’t ever know what to do with them whenever you face him.

“You didn’t have to do this for my brother, y’know? You shouldn’t feel pressured to say yes just because he asked,” you clear your throat, filling the silence in with your voice that Yoongi has missed so badly.

“What are you talking about? I’m not on the clock right now,” Yoongi furrows his brows, the frown on his face evident. “I’m not here as a manny. I’m here as an uncle.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Oh,” he snorts, the snarky expression from him cutting through the tension between you. You could just throw your head back out of relief, knowing that Yoongi’s not that mad at you, but the both of you know you’re far from the clear.

You’re far from the clear when you don’t make a single move to come towards him across the room, even if it’s the only thing you wanted to do the past week.

You know you’re far from the clear and even further from moving on when it’s Yoongi who comes to you, his pace slow yet definitive, his fists unclenched for once as he practically leaps towards you in the end.

It takes one, two seconds for you to realize that although it’s Yoongi who made the first move to get close to you, it’s you who puts your hands on his cheeks, forehead rested against his with your eyes closed, tightly. Painfully.

Yoongi opens his eyes when you do, staying in your grasp even if he realizes that you almost kissed.

“You can read my mind, Yoongi, right?” you whisper, pulling apart briefly to look up at him, yet close nonetheless because you could still practically hear his heart beating out of his chest.

“Yeah,” he swallows the lump in his throat, the hand he has around your waist loosening for just a fraction of a second, yet you don’t need it— you don’t need him to unravel further to confirm what you’ve always known.

“So I don’t need to say it out loud,” you smile tightly, the shaky sigh that leaves you making Yoongi’s lips purse out of guilt. “So I don’t need to say it out loud that I love you,” you say in your mind, eyes already stinging even if Yoongi hasn’t let go of you yet.

“You don’t,” he affirms, his voice hoarse as his hand on your waist still doesn’t budge, the other cradling your wrist because he can’t decipher if it’s him wanting to keep your hand on his face, or if it’s him keeping you away. “You can read my mind too, right?”

You nod earnestly, the smile that he gives you even being tighter than yours.

“Right,” he clears his throat. “So I can’t— I-I don’t have to say it either,” he whispers. “I don’t need to say out loud that the feeling isn’t mutual,” you read in his mind, the silent admission effectively relieving you of the weight you’ve carried ever since you knew him.

Yoongi’s phone ringing is the only thing that snaps the both of you from your daze, your immediate composure being shaky despite having prepared for this for so long because you knew it anyway.

You know that no matter how much Yoongi looks like he belongs to you, your life, and everything in between, you still won’t stand a chance against the person who’d make him drop everything new for the promise of coming home to everything he’s familiar with.

“It’s uhm— it’s Haein,” he explains, the nervous grin he has on face being infectious despite your very own appearing for a much different reason. “She wants to talk about things.”

“You don’t have to let me know,” you shake your head, shoving your hands into your pockets. “Go, Yoongi.”

.

.

.

You’re not ignoring Yoongi anymore.

Apropos of nothing, Yoongi and Haein are talking again.

They’re not together, yet, but you know how it always ends between them anyway, so you steel yourself for the worst despite it being Yoongi’s best.

( ♡ ) 

You badly want to change.

You badly want to change and although it’s not Yoongi’s fault, the way he hovers around you makes you feel otherwise.

You already made well on your promise of not shutting him out whenever things get tough for you, but even then, no part of the way you’ve been acting recently ever appeases Yoongi.

He’s accustomed to you growing like you always have been, yet he didn’t even think that you changing bit by bit could ever impact him this greatly, Sure, Yoongi’s happy that you’re no longer ignoring him intentionally, but his stomach still turns every time you do reply to him at an ungodly hour and he’s reminded of your little joke (he hopes it is) that you’re more active at that time of night because of your extracurriculars.

Yoongi’s happy that you still turn to him, but a large part of him, if not the entirety, grows bitter when he sees you looking happier nowadays and he can’t tell if it’s because of something you’ve already told him or if it’s because of something totally unrelated and how he could never know, because the one thing that he made you promise is for you to keep being his friend.

You’re still Yoongi’s friend before, during, and after your confession, and he doesn’t know if that placates him.

Yoongi doesn’t want to amount to anything less than a friend to you but he doesn’t want to be your family either. He wants to be whatever it is in your life that knows why you’re smiling so much and why you barely rant to him.

He wants to be whatever, whoever, it is your life in order to know that you’re seeing Taehyung right from your mouth and not from your brother’s like he’s a jaded suitor that’s been anticipating bad news.

Yoongi wants to matter enough, as if he already doesn’t, to know about you having a boyfriend.

“You have a boyfriend and you didn’t tell me?” he spits, the way he barrels into your apartment with his own keycard being unceremonious. 

Yoongi knows today’s your rest day and he knows that by this time, you’d be on a call with him to ask about his day and entertain Hwayoung who keeps butting into your conversation. By this time, it would’ve still been you and him, whether or not Haein and Taehyung were in the picture.

“You’re hooking up with the guy that talked shit about me, and you didn’t bother telling me?”

“Taehyung didn’t talk shit about you,” you scoff, closing the door after him as you follow him into your living room.

Yoongi’s eyes widen comically, heart clenching when he realizes that you have no comeback for anything else he’s said, jaw clenching as he points a finger at you.

“He fucking looked down on me-…”

“He was just shocked!” 

“Are you seriously defending him instead of being on my side?!” he exclaims, the sarcastic chuckle that leaves his lips rubbing you wrong because for any other person and any other instance, you’d laugh with him too.

“Do you not expect me to?” you snarl. “You’re dragging my boyfriend’s name to an argument that you started, and you don’t expect me to defend him?”

“You’re being a hypocrite,” he grits, nostrils flaring in sheer anger.

“And if I am, then what about it?!” you throw your hands into the air, poking your finger at his chest yet he refuses to get out of your face. “Have you not ever been a hypocrite when it comes to defending the person you love?”

It’s not your glare that gets him to back off.

It’s not your hostile, defensive nature towards Yoongi, in defense of Taehyung, that makes him deadly silent.

It’s you, holding up a mirror for the same blind defensiveness that he’d always carry whenever your words just barely graze Haein’s honor.

You’re guilty of judging Yoongi, but not of dissuading him from pursuing Haein like he’s always done — Yoongi, however, can’t say the same for himself.

“I hope Taehyung’s worth it,” he spits. “I hope he’s worth treating me like this, because not once have I ever made you less of a priority even when Haein was still in the picture.”

The use of was makes you pause, the past tense making you blink owlishly and finally take a step back from Yoongi as if it’s just your proximity to him that was the raging problem.

“Haein was my girlfriend but I never, never turned my back on you. I never made things awkward for us. I never stopped showing up for you, even if it costed me with her. I never made you feel the way you’re making me feel now,” Yoongi heaves, jaw clenching from how hard he’s ignoring the lump in his throat.

You chuckle sarcastically, the briefest glimpse you have of yourself in Yoongi’s words making you feel utterly pathetic. “Yeah? And how am I making you feel now?”

“Like we haven’t known each other our whole lives.”

( ♡ ) 

It’s been months since you and Yoongi properly talked to each other.

Life got in the way between the two of you and as much as Yoongi didn’t want to push, you didn’t want to grow out of the comfort that you already had with Taehyung either.

There were still texts and calls, but in between Yoongi getting whisked away for his employers’ vacation for a change and you being content with your job and your boyfriend as your comfort, neither of you made any drastic moves after your fight.

The only apology that Yoongi could get out of you after storming off from your apartment was you asking if he had already eaten dinner two nights after your fight, while the only apology that your close friend could ever give to you was that he hadn’t (even if he actually did), just to get your conversation rolling.

You feel guilty reserving parts of you from Yoongi, namely Taehyung and how he fits into your life, even if it’s always been established that there’s no use hiding. You know a terrible lot of information about how Yoongi and Haein are in bed against your will, and Yoongi has an awful amount of knowledge about your preference for condoms and how you like your men. 

There’s guilt in your chest and you don’t think it would ever disappear for as long as Yoongi’s still in your life. Being defensive about anyone outside of your family and Yoongi, specifically because neither are synonymous no matter how much Yoongi keeps recurring from your family’s mouths, is something entirely brand new.

Taehyung is new to your system, just as Yoongi was all those years ago, and it scares him more than it scares you.

The concept of lagging behind someone who had just been a casual topic of interest (more specifically because he had seemingly offended you and him) then became your boyfriend overnight feels like a giant slap on the face because Yoongi, not once, has ever entertained the possibility that you’d be as lovesick as him.

He didn’t think that you were also capable of being defensive about a loved one who isn’t him, just like he is over Haein. 

He didn’t think about how angry and offended he’d feel seeing you become so protective of someone who doesn’t know you like he does, because in Yoongi’s defense, Taehyung doesn’t know shit about you.

Taehyung does not and will never know you like he does, because he never trailed after you and idolized you in everything that you do, so much so that he only pursued his degree because you did before him.

Unlike Yoongi, Taehyung never had to be taught by you how to drive and what it means to have his family’s manual transmission car stall right after the stoplight turned green, because it meant you having to comfort Yoongi who was in tears after being honked at, and you lying straight through your teeth to his parents by saying that he was excellent and should definitely be trusted with driving the car alone with Haein to take her on dates.

Unlike the person you know the most, Taehyung never had to have the conversation with your dad about looking after you in college despite being younger, yet puffing his chest out nonetheless to agree because he made it his personal mission.

Taehyung will never be Yoongi and the latter takes pride in it, except now, he feels that Taehyung doesn’t ever want to be in his position—

Why would Taehyung vie for his position when it’s clear that he’s at an advantage?

Yoongi ignores his feelings and grievances the best that he can, yet unlike the old him who could endure so much shit because it meant having you to lean on, he can’t help but explode now that it’s you whom he can’t see eye to eye with.

“Taehyung and I were thinking of eloping,” you say out of the blue, your admission feeling appropriate (in your eyes, atleast) because you and Yoongi have so much to catch up on after being apart and he strayed the topic towards your sister who’s expecting her first child.

You thought it was your turn to say something equally as life-changing, because with the way Yoongi hasn’t talked about Haein once and you assuming that it’s because they were back together and he was just shy to talk about it, you bit the bullet first.

You thought wrong, clearly, because the happiness completely drains away from Yoongi the moment you finished your sentence.

“What?” he asks. “Don’t be stupid.”

“Excuse me?”

“I said, don’t be stupid,” he repeats, eyes narrowing at you in anger. “You’ve only been in a relationship with him for months-…”

“I’ve known him for years-…”

“And that still doesn’t justify you marrying him just because you feel like it,” he spits, your revelation far from making him happy like you thought it would. “Stop being stupid, Y/N. You’re not marrying Taehyung just because you’re in another one of your impulsive moods.”

Your mouth falls open at that, scoffing in disbelief because Yoongi isn’t letting up in the slightest with the way there’s no hint of his outburst just being a sick joke.

“I’m not being impulsive. I really do want to marry him!”

“Oh yeah? How’s married life going to work out for you when-…”

“I only told you because I wanted to let you know. I wasn’t asking you to weigh in, Yoongi,” you snap, crossing your arms in defense while Yoongi only steps towards you.

The thought of eloping with Taehyung crossed your mind once after a weird dream, and you thought nothing about it at first so you texted him and went right back to sleep. What you didn’t expect was that he didn’t hate the idea at all (in fact, he was even happy that you thought about it), and Taehyung’s confirmation for something unlike you, for something that resembled to settling and being comfortable, changed you completely.

“You don’t expect me to interfere when you tell me you’re going to make the biggest mistake of your life?” Yoongi huffs, his eyes widening over your seeming indifference. 

“Who the fuck are you to tell me that getting married to Taehyung would be the biggest mistake I’ll ever make?”

“I’m your closest friend! I know you better than you know yourself and-…”

“You don’t,” you retort. “Clearly, you don’t know me at all or even respect me when you think the worst of Taehyung when you barely even know him!”

“I could know Taehyung for a decade and still think the fucking worst of him!” Yoongi raises his voice, laughing humorlessly as he runs his hand through his hair. “I could know Taehyung or any other guy for a lifetime and still think that they won’t ever be good enough for you!”

The laugh that escapes you is offensive.

It’s as offensive as Yoongi making your graduation about him by crying to your sheets because Haein broke up with him, and it’s as offensive as you scoffing to his face when he said that having his job serves as his practice for a future with her.

“What, because you’re in love with me?” you spit, trying to trigger something in him just so he could leave you be, for good, because everything that’s he’s saying to now– with the defensiveness you’ve only heard from yourself whenever he rationalized trying to get back with his first love — takes you right back to your previous pining.

Yoongi’s only silent, trusting that you could read his mind, and you’ve never hated knowing him as much as you do than now.

“You’re telling me that you’re in love with me, right when I decided I was sick of loving you my whole life?” you whisper, the tears stinging from the corner of your eyes making your heart clench. You’ve been called too stubborn. Too calculating and too heartless, even by your own family, and for you to unfold in front of Yoongi this easily makes you wail. “Are you shitting me, Yoongi? Are you— are you out of your goddamn mind to tell me this?”

Yoongi looks down in shame, the truth of him being over his first love not relieving the weight on his shoulders like he foolishly expected, because everything he falls short when he sees you crying.

“I didn’t want to get back to Haein with something weighing so heavily on my chest,” he whispers. “I didn’t want to get back with her because you just ignoring me for a fucking week hurt more than any breakup I’ve had with her.” 

Yoongi, vividly, can remember how distraught he was. He can remember how he can’t recall a time wherein he didn’t have you to depend on, as if he didn’t ever outgrow the phase of him idolizing you and following you wherever you went.

As if he’s still the seventeen year old him asking to borrow your slippers for Haein, while deep down seeking your approval for her because he didn’t want to do anything without you beaming at him.

“I-I felt… I felt like I was losing my mind, Y/N.”

“Can you read my mind right now?” you ask, shakily exhaling as you look down on the floor.

“That’s a really stupid thing to bring up right now,” Yoongi breathlessly chuckles, letting his hair brush past his eyes because he’s a little terrified of looking how distraught, how disappointed, you are. “But no.”

“Do you not want to say it out loud?” he asks, making you laugh silently as you gathered the strength to sit next to him, yet not as close as you always did. “Whatever it is, it’s not like I’m going to give up now,” he mumbles, looking down on your hand that’s rested on the cushion, your pinky finger just centimeters away from his, yet he can’t move to hold you like he wants to.

You wanted Yoongi and he wants you, and there’s only so much points where you could intersect until you say what’s been lingering in your mind, just like every other apology the both of you have passed up.

“We need some time apart, Yoongi. We need space,” you mumble. “We need to figure it out on our own before we figure it out together because-…”

Yoongi finishes your thought for you, head tilted down and hand outstretched with the hope that comes with being a little too late for someone who’s waited a little too long.

“Because we’ve known each other our whole lives.”

Yoongi refuses to break even if he comprehends exactly what you’re saying, because there’s no point in it when he knows he’ll never be angry at you. You can defend him and you can hurt him all at once, yet he’ll never curse you, simply because there’s no point picking at wounds he’ll keep on licking anyway.

“Do we just-…” he shrugs lightly, pinky finger painfully close to yours until he makes the heavy move of lifting it, just enough to to cover yours. “Do we find our way back to each other? Is that it?”

“That’s the plan, hopefully,” you smile, sucking in a breath you never thought would be this heavy. “I’ll find you if you find me.”

“I’ll find you when you find me,” Yoongi corrects. “We’ll find our way back to each other.”

You resent comfort and Yoongi abhors change, but there’s only so much the both of you could take until you realize that the only thing constant in your lives is each other, no matter how many seasons pass you by.

For Yoongi, it’s you.

Despite everything, it’s still you.

( ♡ ) 

The year that you spend with Yoongi flitting every once in awhile like he’s only a friend, and not the man you’ve first loved, is a year you didn’t think you’d ever spend.

Despite you and Taehyung separating amicably, he still took with him the love that you sincerely invested. He wasn’t the first boyfriend you’ve ever had, and although you were no stranger to heartbreak, he still imprinted a large chunk of him onto you.

At one point in your life, you did want to marry him; and at several points in your life after him that you don’t even think of denying, you really thought it would be him if not for the life that you led.

You don’t resent Yoongi for loving you a little too late because there’s no point in it, as much as Taehyung doesn’t even hate you in the slightest for letting him let you go in pursuit of the change that the both of you badly needed.

Yoongi could never bring himself to hate you either, even if being apart from you gnawed at him from the inside. Making something out of himself had been his biggest plan outside of pursuing you from a distance, because as soon he tendered in his resignation letter to his employers and cried right in front of the children he looked after, Yoongi won’t ever lie and say that he wasn’t scared.

Yoongi resents change even if you’re someone who yearns for it, and even with the terror that wracks his bones of starting new without you being there for him as his safety net, Yoongi does it scared anyway.

He does it scared with one eye closed as he puts the degree he’s only learned to love because of you to work, developing an app for families to look for certified, trustworthy nannies.

He does it scared anyway with his heart barely into himself and fully into you when he shows up a full night early before your family’s thanksgiving party, donning his reserved suit as he clutches a new pair of house slippers, which again, like always and just like he is, is only for you.

For you, it’s Yoongi.

Despite everything, it’s still Yoongi.

[cyberhughes]

— 𝓣𝓸𝓸 𝓢𝔀𝓮𝓮𝓽 ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ quinn hughes

🌊 chapter one: awkward.

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*:･✧* 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: quinn hughes x fem!oc

*:･✧* 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: swearing, jack lowk being a perv for a quick second, nothing really happens here, just quinn being awkward as fuck lol

𝓐𝓾𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓻𝓼 𝓝𝓸𝓽𝓮: hope you guys had some fun new year celebrations <3 i was under the table eating grapes bc lord knows there cannot be a repeat of 2024💀💀🙏🙏also i only reviewed this like once so just ignore any spelling errors if there’s any🎀

series masterlist + character intros

it had been eight years—nearly a decade since aurora had seen the hughes brothers. though she could still picture their boyish grins and foolish antics like it was just yesterday.

they hadn’t kept in touch much since they moved, aurora and luke would facetime around the holidays, but never jack and quinn. aurora missed them of course, but she was happy that they were pursuing their dreams, touring different cities and playing in the nhl.

it had been a year and a half since her brother ashton announced his engagement to his highschool sweetheart, melissa. the couple would be having their wedding in michigan, wanting to keep it small and intimate.

this wasn’t a shock to aurora, the couple not being the type of people to want a super extravagant wedding. what was a shock however, was hearing that they would be having their wedding at the lake house.

quinn’s lake house.

it was a beautiful property, and perfect for the intimate wedding they were envisioning. quinn had also wanted to host them the few nights leading up to the wedding, not wanting them to spend any more money than they had to on a hotel.

it was beyond generous, and because of this aurora knew he hadn’t changed. he was always doing everything he could for others, always wanting to put a smile on everyone’s faces.

and thats why, for the week leading up to their flight, aurora would spend every minute preparing herself for the reunion. he hadn’t changed, but she had.

he hadn’t seen her in eight years, the version of aurora he knew was long gone. she no longer had braces and bushy eyebrows, but had grown into a beautiful young woman. she was 21, but she still felt that childish need to impress them, almost needing to seem more mature than she really was.

she’d prove that she wasn’t that same little girl anymore.

the cool summer breeze sent a chill down aurora’s spine, or maybe it was the nervousness that was finally setting in upon their arrival in michigan. the airport was busy, families bustling around, probably arriving for their summer getaways as well.

“oh aren’t you so excited to see luke?” aurora’s mom placed her hands on her shoulders, giving them a small squeeze. “he’s taller than you now!”

aurora laughed at her mom’s excitement, nodding in agreement. last time she had seen luke he was barely taller than her, but she had seen photos that ellen sent and he had grown up to be the tallest of the brothers.

“oh, i think your father found ash.” her mom pointed out the black car her dad was jogging towards, luggage clunking behind him.

“RORY!” ashton exclaimed hopping out of the drivers seat, a wide smile on his face and she giggled, dropping the handle of her suitcase and practically jumped into her brother’s arms. “ASH, YOU’RE GETTING MARRIED!” she hugged him tightly, trying to make up for the months she went without him.

“really? i didn’t know!” he chuckled, pulling away and ruffling her hair with his hand, to which she pouted and tried to smooth down her hair again. “we’ll have to stop back at our place to get melissa, then we’ll go straight to the lake.” ashton explained, grabbing their suitcases and putting them into the trunk of the car.

aurora felt a tinge of excitement as they got closer to seeing the hughes,

or more specifically, quinn.

“we’re here!” the sound of gravel squeaking underneath the tires awoke aurora, signalling that they were finally at the lake house.

as they pulled into the driveway, the front door of the house swung open, revealing a 6’2 giant that aurora almost didn’t recognize, but it was that same boyish smile that she saw that made all the memories come flooding back.

“LUKEY!” aurora jumped out of the car, her brother scolding her as she ran since he hadn’t even put it in park yet.

“RORY!” she jumped into his arms and he swung her around, the two giggling and feeling like little kids again. even though they had been separated for almost a decade, it felt like nothing had changed between them.

from the car, aurora’s mom was snapping pictures of their reunion, making a joke about how they were exactly the same as when they were 13.

“holy shit,” he set her down and examined her as if he was checking that this was really her, and not some imposter. “you actually look good!” she playfully punched his shoulder at his comment. “you look good too, finally grew out of that big head huh?”

there wasn’t an ounce of awkwardness as they joked, which they were both secretly nervous about.

“now who’s this pretty little lady?” she peeked behind luke’s frame to see jack strutting towards them, a charming grin on his face.

“hey rowdy.” she rolled her eyes playfully, walking over to give him a hug. he pulled away and smirked, looking down. “when did you get those?” she looked at him puzzled, before realizing what he was talking about and her face flushed a deep red. “oh my god, you’re still such a pervert.” she shoved him away as he let out a hearty laugh.

aurora let a small smile form on her face as she looked at the two boys in front of her, she could feel her heart melting, they were all grown up.

but someone was missing.

“so uhm, where’s quinny?” she asked, taking a step backward, wanting to go back to the car to grab her suitcase, but her ankle twisted under the gravel and her eyes widened as she felt her balance disappear.

she thought she’d fall, but instead she felt a hard surface on her back and two hands on her arms, and she craned her head to look up.

holy shit.

“q-quinn!” she scrambled out of his hold, straightening out to face him. he looked like a completely different. he was taller of course, his hair was longer and messier, not how he had it as a kid where it was clean cut and combed. he had a scruffy beard and his eyes were tired.

she couldn’t quite decipher what the look in his eyes meant as he stared back at her, but the second he blinked it was gone, and he offered a small smile, but something felt different about it. “how are you, aurora?”

aurora.

not rory.

“i’m good…” she nodded her head slowly, taken aback by the awkwardness of the situation. was he not excited to see her? she could feel her cheeks heating up in embarrassment. “and you?”

“doing good.” he pressed his lips in a straight line and tucked his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

from behind them, jack could be seen whispering into luke’s ear, “this is kind of fucking weird, right?” the younger boy nodded in agreement. they didn’t really know how the thought quinn would react to seeing her again, but it was surely wasn’t like this

“THESE SUITCASES ARENT GOING TO UNLOAD THEMSELVES!” they heard ashton yell jokingly from the car, pretending to struggle as he carried them out.

“i’ll go help your brother, jack and luke can show you around.” quinn said and aurora hesitantly nodded.

before he could fully turn around, she decided to grab his arm, and pull him into a quick hug. “i’m happy to see you, quinn.” she said quietly and he stood there feeling shocked.

he looked down at the girl hugging him with wide eyes. hesitantly, he wrapped his arms around her, finally reciprocating the greeting.

aurora blushed as she felt his muscles tense as she hugged him, he was definitely much more built than he was 8 years ago.

she pulled away and gave him a smile and he could see the same twinkle in her eyes she had all those years ago. he returned the smile and nodded, before going to help ashton.

she watched the way he jogged to the car and could feel her stomach turning. this was a different quinn, it wasn’t her quinn.

“OKAY!” jack clapped his hands together, breaking the tension in the air. “let’s give you a tour, yeah?”

aurora nodded, following the two brothers into the house, but not before trying to catch one last look at quinn.

maybe he had changed, after all.

the rest of the day had been relaxed, the grays —asides from ashton, getting a tour of the house, taking a peek at the boat, having a nice barbecue dinner, and ending the day with a fee card games.

the tiredness of travelling had hit them and they decided that it was time to head to bed, everyone heading to their designated rooms. aurora was rooming with luke since the two had wanted to catch up and have relive the times where they would have sleepovers back in the day.

and now it was 2 am, and aurora was laying wide awake beside luke, staring at the way the ceiling fan spun around, mirroring the way her mind was spinning.

quinn had barely talked to her all day. she had locked eyes with him a few times but he broke the eye contact before it even started.

she thought that maybe he was mad at her for not keeping touch after they moved, but the phone works both ways, right?

the overthinking paired with the summer heat had made her thirsty. she didn’t want to have to wake luke up, but she also felt shy to grab her self a glass from the kitchen since she hadn’t been here long.

“lukey.” she turned to face the snoring boy, poking him gently on the arm. he shifted, but didn’t wake up. she could only wish she was as good a sleeper like him.

she bit her lip and sat up, deciding to just go by herself. she put on her fuzzy socks before tip toeing out of the bedroom, trying her hardest to not make any noise to disturb anyone.

she had made her way to the kitchen through the hallway that was decorated in family photos. being successful in keeping quiet she searched the cabinets, still in the dark, before finding herself a glass and filling it up with tap water.

she sighed as she placed the cup down, looking out the window at the lake. she was kind of jealous that quinn had a view like this right in his backyard, but then again he worked extremely hard for it.

she went to wash her cup in the sink when suddenly the light flickered on and she whipped her head around to see who was there.

it was quinn, of course. he was wearing a pair of plaid pyjama pants and a grey tshirt, the waistband of his pants slightly hanging low, and aurora found her eyes wandering lower and lower.

“are you okay?” he asked softly, and it was probably the most he had said to her the whole day. she noticed his hair was messy, and his eyes not fully open, meaning that she had woken him up.

“yeah, i’m sorry, i was just getting some water.” he nodded at her response as she placed the cup in the drying rack beside the sink.

they stood in an silence for a moment. quinn scratched the hair on his chin, opting to break the awkward silence, “are you okay sleeping with luke? if you want, you can take my room.” he offered. he recognized that he hadn’t been the most welcoming towards her, and was trying break the tension.

“i couldn’t, you’re already doing so much for ash and us.” she politely rejected. “well if he snores too loud, the offer will still be there.” he said and she nodded, the awkwardness making it’s return. they stood there another moment before he pursed his lips and nodded, turning on his heels to go back to his bedroom.

“did i do something wrong?” she asked, stopping him and his tracks, voice louder than she had intended to.

he turned his head and shook his head. “no, you didn’t, why?” he asked and she shrugged her shoulders. “uhm…nothing.” she brushed it off and he nodded.

“goodnight,” he stopped as if to think,

“rory.”

[jung-koook]

I'm so excited for them to come back home 🥹

but bangtan, you can breathe, okay? you don't have to rush everything. we've endured this time without you guys here, we can handle waiting a little longer. especially knowing that you're at home resting. I don't feel good knowing that bangtan will leave this mentally and physically tiring mandatory service and go on tour right after. go on tour is already exhausting, but going on a tour like bangtan's is something that few artists can do, even if they prepare their bodies well in advance. in addition to the hours of travel and stress that can occur with organizing the concerts, they also have to prepare their voice to endure hours of concerts, prepare their bodies for hours of choreography, etc. I got tired just listing a few of the things they go through like, any artist needs some time to themselves before a tour, they need to take care of their bodies physically and mentally. it's not easy. even knowing how much money they can make, there are many artists who prefer not to go on tour exactly for that reason. I think bangtan has already given us so much. even when they left, they didn't leave us "alone". they always releasing something for us, they still come here to talk to us when they have time. I think it's so unfair to have them go on a tour the same year they return home...

and about this news... I find it funny lol because ever since all the members left, they've been sharing the same news about a new album and a tour. now that it's getting closer and closer to all the members finally coming home, it seems like every week a different media posts the same news as if it were something totally "exclusive" LMAO 😅 do they have nothing to report and want to use bangtan for clickbait or what 😅 every week the same news. we already got this, we already know that by mentioning bangtan or any of the members you media get a lot of clicks. 😅

[lotus-n-l0ve]

LOST WITHOUT YOU, BABY

— Eren Yeager x Female Reader

With Heart And Soul.

*⁠.⁠✧ SYNOPSIS : Eren sometimes feared what he would do if you had not graced his life that one afternoon of mid-march. ・₊﹆ɞ‧₊

*⁠.⁠✧ WARNINGS & TAGS : Boyfriend!Eren, Girlfriend!reader, high school sweethearts, bullying, blood, fight, mob boss!eren, smut, kiss, late night, sex, p in v, 2.4k words. ・₊﹆ɞ‧₊

*⁠.⁠✧ NOTE FROM LOTUS : Feels so good to write after so long. My exams are coming up, of course I will wanna right now 乁⁠[⁠ ⁠◕⁠ ⁠ᴥ⁠ ⁠◕⁠ ⁠]⁠ㄏ

*⁠.⁠✧ — NAVIGATION // ATTACK ON TITAN MASTERLIST

DO NOT PRESS [READ MORE] IF YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE. MINORS DNI, IF YOU DO THEN IT'S YOUR OWN RESPONSIBILITY. ・₊﹆ɞ‧₊

𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐊𝐀𝐖𝐀𝐒𝐀𝐊𝐈 𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐉𝐀 𝐇2𝐑 at the back of the baby blue two story house. Crossing over the wall wasn't so hard anymore after doing so many times. He ghosted across the back yard and climbed on to the maple tree before he was standing in front of the familiar window that led to your bedroom, separating you from him.

Eren stepped ahead on the rough branch leading right to the window. The glass window was left open as if you knew he would come by. He slid it open and he jumped inside the room with a thud but not loud enough to alert your parents who were fast asleep two rooms down the hallway. You were fast asleep under the fluffy comfort of the duvet.

Eren tiptoed to the bathroom and opened the door with as little noise as possible. You had been whining about the ongoing exam and how much pressure it was giving you. Eren knew he could give you the world you wanted. You only had to tell him with your sweet voice and he would bring the whole world to your feet. But he also respected your decision to do something yourself, to be independent.

Getting rid of any and every piece of clothing, Eren stepped under the shower head. Warm water glided down his body, soothing away all the tension in his muscles. Eren tangled a hand through the wet locks and tilted his head back. Drops of water pitter-pattering on his eyes and lips. His heart was felt with nothing but detest and abhor. He loathed everything, from the waking moment to the last awake second everyday.

Eren sometimes feared what he would do if you had not graced his life that one afternoon of mid-march.

The intense hit of boot against your belly sent a jolt of acute pain through your body. It would leave a ugly bruise you were sure. The blood had already dried under your nose long ago, now the area just  felt tight and itchy. The next hit came down hard on your head, almost knocking you out.

         “Do you have some screws loose in your head?” Your attacker shouted, stomping on your crouched body that stayed laying down on the cold floor of an empty classroom, “I clearly told you to finish my assignment and hand it over to teach. Then why the fuck is he saying I didnt submit my work?”

Two of his minions didn't try even the slightest to suppress the snickers. Standing behind their leader as if he was doing something great.

         “It was your assignment. Why should I do it?” Each trembling word that came out of your mouth, hurt your throat like hell. But it was not worse than the torture you had been enduring for the past two months. Precisely two and half months ago, you moved to this new city because of your father’s transfer. It had been two months since you started attending ‘Heritage High’ and every single student here had made it their job to bully the life out of the new student. Louise Liebert being the leader of them all.

He was the kid who was never told ‘no’ in his entire life. So, when you, being the reserved kid you were, denied to exchange your new fountain pen with his already half used ball pen, it hurt his ego and he made it his mission to fill your days in the school with hurt and sorrow. The pain was special to you, your grandpa had gifted it to you for the new journey you were going to start. He always had it with him wherever he went. He called it his lucky star but it didn't seem to have much luck for your case.

Complaining to your parents got you nowhere when the school staff and children pledged for his innocence. You had a suspicion that it had something to do with his father being the mayor of the town. The only thing you accomplished was proving yourself to be a liar to your parents and increased bullying.

         “Looks like you still have the energy to argue, huh?” Adler, the tall and abnormally skinny guy on his right scoffed.

         “All that beating was not enough for you was it?” Baldur, the shorty onLouise’s left sneered down at you.

         Louise brought his face to your level, a vicious smirk on his face, “Do you need a dick in your mouth to shut up like your mommy dearest?”

You didn't know what happened but the second those words left his stinky mouth, you shot up. Your head hitting his jaw as he went back flying, slamming his head on the hard floor. The room echoed the crazy screams of three individuals. A sense of fight or flight knocked you and you were sprinting out of the room, running through the empty hallway with three angry bulls running after you. As much as scared you were, you were also very proud of yourself. You hoped he cracked his head.

You ran and ran fast. If they got their hands on you then you were sure that you would be going home with more than just black eyes. Running up the stairs, you threw the door in front of you with a screech. They were just a few steps away from you as you pushed the door with your whole body and tried to shut the door. But your tired body was too weak against three of them.

The door swung with force, tripping you backwards on the ground. Fuck! They towered over your body, looking like hungry hyenas, very injured hyenas at that.If only you were not about to get beaten, you would have danced with joy. They closed in on you as you attempted to back away.

         “Now what? Where are you gonna run now bitch!” Louise sneered. 

         “Why don't you worry about yourself first, Liebert…….” You see the colours drain from Louise’s face, not only him but also his minions. “......Quite the brevery you’ve got there.”

The more that deep voice spoke a little far behind you, the more shit scared those fuckers looked. Your head turned ever so slowly. The very familiar body of Eren Yeager lying on the hard bench. Suddenly jumping off the roof didn't seem that bad. If Louise was a hyena, then Eren was the lion. Eren was the nightmare of Marley. Notorious, cruel, and brutal were the words that describe him. The only son of Grisha Yeager, the successor of Lupus, the biggest underworld gang. They didn't have to hide in the shadows, no, they wore suits and flaunted themselves in the broad daylight. The government was run by the rats of Lupus.

Eren lived up to his name, Hel, beautiful on one side and cruel on the other. He had everyone in Heritage High walking on eggshells.In attempt of saving yourself from one trouble, you threw yourself in the tiger’s den.

         “E-Eren–” Louise squicked rather embarrassingly, “We–”

         “Since when are we on a first name basis?” His tone was nonchalant but even you could feel the threat underneath.

Eren leisurely brought himself up in a sitting position. His eyes looked this side on the floor and then that side, searching for something, before it landed on you. You could feel your heart in your throat. God! You didnt wanna be anywhere near that menace of a boy. He jerked his head to your right, pointing at something.

What is it? A bat like his last victim? Or a gun like the one before that?

You follow his gaze, landing on a black bag and an unopened can of soda. You prayed to all the gods in existence that he meant the soda can as you hurriedly scooted over to bring it to him. He glanced at your hands holding out the can for him before staring at you with a raised eyebrow. WHAT NOW? 

You glanced at the can before realization drew onto you. Dumbass! You used all the strength you had and opened it and offered him again. This time Eren took the can, taking a sip of the cold drink.

         “Sir Yeager, everything is this bitch’s fault.” Alder spoke up, “Had she not run in here, we would have never disturbed you.”

         “Yes sir, we were teaching her a lesson but this bitch–” Baldur backed him.

         Eren took another sip, “Lesson? What is this great lesson of yours?” 

         The three exchanged worried glances and finally the biggest asshole of the group spoke up, “We were doing this for you sir.” 

         “Yes we caught her bad mouthing you–” 

         “That's not true!!” You almost yelled in fear, “I–”

Eren held up a hand, shutting you up and signed for them to continue. You could see relief sinking on them. Their eyes glinted with smugness.

        Louise continued with all the arrogance in his voice, “She was talking shit about you and we told her that she should not do that, she said that “Eren can suck my dick” that you are a lousy fucker who uses his father to get away with everything.”

         “Is that so?”

You felt your heart sink. Eyes prickled with tears and nose burned like hell as you grasped what was going to happen. The best would be if he straight up strangled you to death. Your head bowed down in the last attempt of saving yourself from further embarrassment. But did that even matter anymore?

You saw Eren throwing the can to the side, out of sight, and stood up and you instinctively backed away two steps. You waited for the blow to come, you waited and waited and waited because the blow never came. But a loud thud along with a piercing scream echoed on the rooftop, scaring away the pigeons there alongside you. Your bread shot up and the scene before you left you gasping.

Dulder’s body stayed slumped against the wooden door with his head shoved into the, now broken, door. Blood pooled around his quivering form and splattered on walls, his friends and most of all, on Eren himself. 

         Eren grabbed Louise’s coller and brought him up to his eye lever, “You think i'm one of your minions or something that i'll believe whatever you say?”

         Eren had a good five inches on Louise. His toes were barely touching the floor and that left him gasping for air, “I’m t-telling…… the…t-truth–”

         “So you are saying that you think–no, believe that I should suck your dick? That I get away with everything because of my father?” Eren tilted his head to the side and scoffed, “Do you also think that my father can stop me from beating you to death? Let’s do a little test.”

The next few minutes were like hell. You could hear every sound of bone cracking whenever Eren landed a punch. Every splash of blood and the groans of pain. You had slouched yourself in a crouched position, facing the wall, in the last attempt of saving yourself. When it finally stopped, you found yourself unable to relax because he was still there. The next could be you.

Sniffles were uncontrollable, you were probably shaking like you were being electrocuted. You heard steps closing on you before stopping right behind you.

         “Oii…” You felt a light kick on the back of your leg, “Are you seriously crying? After I beat your bullies?”

You tried to at least say one word but your throat was clogged with sniffles. He sighed as if you were a lost cause. 

         “So ungrateful. Not even a thanks.” Something fell on your head, a blazer, hiding you from the outside world, “You stink man! Go take a shower.”

With that he left you, alone, on the rooftop, with thousands of thoughts and maybe a little bit of relief. For Eren those were the best minutes he wasted and that he will never regret.

          “What are you thinking about?” You asked with your ever so soft voice as you ran your hands through his long hair from the back.

          “You.” Eren replied without a hint of hesitation.

You dragged your fingers down his neck and started massaging his tensed shoulder and his back.

         “Another meeting with your dad?” you received a hum in response, “Then you must be tired?”

         “Mm-hmm.”

         “Frustrated?”

         “Mmm.”

         “Should I do something…….to take off the load?”

You could feel the smirk on his face without even seeing it, “You know just the thing to relieve me, don't you?”

Eren didn't give you a second to reply as he turned to you, grabbing your neck, and pulled you in an intense kiss. You were just as eager to meet his passion, shoving your tongue his mouth and exploring each and every corner. He pushed you against the glass door of the shower. His hand glided down your chest, brushing on your peaked nipples and down your hip.

         Giving a tap on your thigh, he whispered against your lips, “Jump.”

Your hands find themselves tangled in his soaked hair and he uses his arm to support you in the air. Eren broke the kiss, out of breath, smoke coming out of your mouth and mixing in the middle. You feel his tip poking your wet pussy. Eren glids his tip along your lips, teasing you. 

         “Just put it in.” You whined in a breathless tone.

Oh! How adorable you look, begging for his cock.

         “As you wish, baby.”

He forced his cock in one go, making you moan  as the back of your head hit the glass. His hips slammed against your inner tight in a burning rhythm. Eren placed kisses along your neck that you were sure ws gonna leave dark purple bruises before he took one of the hard buds in his mouth. Sucking and twirling it his tongue.

He dragged his dick out till it was just the tip inside and then thrusted it all back inside. Your clammy walls stretched with every push. You could feel it, the familiar knot in your stomach. Eren increased his pace, closing in. Your hand tightly fisted his hair as you let yourself fall apart in his warm embrace. Not seconds later he shot stings of hot cum in you, filling up your inside. Still inside’ he pulled in a kiss but this time it was soft, delicate and full of tender love. ・₊﹆ɞ‧₊

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© 𝐋𝐎𝐓𝐔𝐒-𝐍-𝐋𝟎𝐕𝐄 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟓, 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐃 — all content rights belongs to LOTUS-N-L0VE. do not plagiarise any works and do not repost or translate onto any other sites.・₊﹆ɞ‧₊

[antinous-of-ithaca]

Roleplay Starter: Panic Attack.

Being sober was almost a challenge.. one which he couldn't really acomplish.

Despite everything he had promised not to do, it was becoming increasily hard not to relish the old habits that kept him from losing his mind. Or well, at least lose it within his thoughts, because he would eventually do it either way due to the sea of alcohol he was drowning himself in.

That thought was.. scary. Somehow. But he was not meant to feel that way. Not when he had so many eyes on him, and a great chance to lose.

Maybe he wanted the crown to be important. To have something to cling on if everything went wrong all of a sudden. It had happened before and he was certainly not willing to go through that again, not when things seemed to go.. well, for once in his fucking lifetime.

"Am I really going to get better?"

He asked himself, as a bead of sweat ran down his forehead as thoughts ran through his mind. Though, he would've liked them to enter his right ear and escape out the other, just like they did with everything else; with the advice he rejected and the words of encouragement that didn't mean anything for his stupid brain.

With each question he asked himself, it seemed like things got worse. His own body reacting without consulting his mind first, like it had become independent, somehow.

Antinous' right leg bounced up and down as a result of the new state of anxiousness he found himself in, which was the least of his concerns at the moment. It felt like he couldn't hear anything outside his mind, like the whole world had gone silent under the voices in his head, which became even louder with each second he spent being sober.

Antinous knew this sensation. He knew what it meant, what the consequences were. But, he couldn't really bring himself to ask for help, could he? Not when he was always treating people like trash. Who in their right mind would help him in any way? Definitely not any suitor, since he was just one of them, and therefore many of them saw him as a threat. Not the staff, he had been a jerk ever since he came here, and he was sure they wanted him dead as much as the nobles did.

He was just scum in the side of the road, waiting to be kicked and crashed by someone else's foot.

Tears came out of his eyes at the mere thought. He knew he wasn't any better than the people around him. They knew he wasn't. It was just his mind that was using it as a defense mechanism, which wasn't working at all. Not when sober. Not when he could hear his own thoughts at the absence of sound.

He tried to stop himself, wipe away the tears coming out of his eyes before it could get any worse. But of course that didn't work, nothing did. It felt like he had a river running down his face. He didn't really sob, though. He choked down any sounds that could come out of his damn mouth.

Oh, how many times he could've keep it shut? How many problems could he hace avoided if he thought of doing this sooner?

All the sounds in the background sounded like white noise. Which would've helped earlier, but were now making it worse.

Laugher. He could hear it coming from every damn corner in the palace and, even if he had locked himself in a different room, his head convinced him that it was the world mocking him for every single mistake he made. From being born to thinking he could ever archieve being a king.

What did that stupid crown even mean? That you had power over others? Or that you won in life, somehow? It didn't matter what stupid price he would get if he even got to be king, when all he could think about was how many people he hurt. How he had let himself be dragged by the chains of his own pride like a lowly slave. But, in a sense, he was a slave of his own desires.

Nothing of what he did had made him happy. Not drinking, not mocking others, not eating expensive food that wasn't even his. Nothing. It felt.. weird not to be able to satisfy his greed.

Antinous had seen countless men finding what they wanted. He saw them cheer, laugh and smile. He had too. But there wasn't anything else to it for him. Those people felt happy for days, while he seeked another goal.

He was losing himself. Losing his mind, his friends, his whole life! But he couldn't do much about it. It felt like he could only sit and watch as he built a meaningless wall just to have another one crumple to the ground. He couldn't do it right, he was far too gone, far too cold, far too much for anyone to understand and drag him out of this grave he had digged for himself.

Just then, Antinous felt like the walls closed around him, pressuring every inch of his body. His own clothes became uncomfortable, like they weren't made of fabric, but of ants that were crawling his body and biting onto his now scarred skin.

He tried to scream. Nothing came out of his lips.. no sound but a gasp as he felt a non-existent rope around his throat, tightening with every move he made around the supply closet he had hid himself in.

But yes, he was hiding like a fucking child. He was pathetic enough to think he could hide from himself. To think he could change that and do something for himself.

It would be better if he just could get a bottle of wine and drink himself to death. But even then, who would look for him? Hell, he wasn't sure if he would even get a proper burial.

He didn't deserve any better anyway. Not now or ever. If anything, he deserved the right to live just to continue his cycle until he died of old age or someone ended him for good.

He couldn't take being sober. Not.. now.

Antinous was willing to drink again, die while doing so. But even then, the world laughed at in his face as he tried to stand up, only to fall back to the floor. He felt like an animal who had been injured. Except there was no apparent reason for him to be unable to walk.

He tried again, his knees buckling once again in a response to his almost desperate attempts.

He was going to die here. He just knew it. Everything was spinning around him, his limps numb to any sort of pain that came from the outside, except the growing headache he was getting.

He felt sick. Like his anxiety was actually going to make him throw his guts over the floor. Every rational thought left his body, tears streaming down his face along with sweat as he gasped for air once again, only managining to hiperventilate by trying.

"Fuck. Fuck! FUCK!"

His hands went to his head, trying to distract himself, to snap out of it by pulling on his hair.

Numbness.

Oh, gods, he hated it. And even if he knew it was in vain, he continued, not even noticing he was openly sobbing. That was being too loud.. that if someone passed nearby, he would be heard.

OOC: I saw that rp starters tagged people but I was too nervous to do it. So, sorry to anyone who might be annoyed by this tagging. 😭

@sonofpolybus @the-epic-amphinomus @penelope-is-waiting @thetorturedsuitor @eurydiceofsparta @bright-side-of-the-moon-tele

[dollya-robinprotector]

I’d still like to know what you consider copying if you’re willing to answer! ^_^

I just look back and realize you asked about "artstyle", which I don't really have an answer for. I believe artstyles are meant to be "adapted" and "improved" and there's nothing too definite to be called "copy artstyle" for those who genuinely want to learn. Ah, but there are still some shitty examples, so follow me down on this...

For example: Rei17, is known for being an absolutely massive A-hole and treating people like shit, but also a legend for having the most magical use of colors, lighting and composition, along with a perfect dynamic for anatomy.

That is to say: an "Artsyle" is made up of many elements. One cannot copy an artstyle if one can't copy everything that artstyle is made of, and that's a LOT of work, especially to copy a master of masters like Rei17. Instead, they mimic some fractions, that make things easier. But then that's not "copy artstyle" anymore, that's "copy concept", "copy color", "copy composition", etc... and suddenly it's not really very "copy" anymore because when we break it down, those fractions becomes "knowledge" that's really "learn-able":

For example: Turn out Rei17's color skill is a very clever use of color theory and by learning about it, many and many other artists can also use it so vividly, without even looking remotely like Rei17's "artsyle"

Taro-K from TamoTaro

Or you can have some cases who tried to mimic everything - the entire artstyle, and fail miserably. For example, this artist I know from some time ago:

left: copy works from that artist and right: original works from Rei17

above: copy works from that artist and below: original works from Rei17

Now, this is called traight-up copy too, I think you can see why:

left: copy work from that artist and right: original work from Rei17

this artist also copied Azling

and once again failed miserably because he lacked the knowledge and didn't understand the fundamentals behind the drawing :)

Now that I saw those messy lines without a horizon line or focal points again it indeed reminded me of something.... ah!

Now, joke aside, I honestly cannot give more insight into this problem since I'm not exactly too keen on just one artstyle myself. BUT I know it when someone learned from my "concept", "paneling", or shits like that, and especially my "designs".

I remember one time there was an artist, who appeared on tumblr dot com one day, and drew their Whitney with the exact choker tattoo I gave my Whitney, with the exact 4 little triangles on the side too. And when I reached out to them and said I was more than happy to let them use my design, but they needed to know the "lore" behind it, they admitted that they saw my drawings on the top tag and just thought it was a common thing, and despite my efforts to communicate, they never reply again, and then fade away with all their drawings......

Mystery...

Recently, I reached out to some artists I've noticed were kinda of copying or referencing my works, and to my relief, they all admitted their wrongs and were willing to make up for it. For example, when I put a drawing that references my work, side-by-side with my drawings like this, do you see the issue?

This case is not the only one, but it is the mildest of the conversations I have had in the past few days addressing almost the same issues. I've asked the artist for permission to use this drawing as an example of obvious referencing.

yup, they admitted they learned from my work but did not ask because they were "shy and afraid of asking because that would bother" me.

And to that, I say: "ALWAYS REACH OUT AND ASK FOR CONSENT FIRST". If you can ask, just ask. If given permission, wonderful! And if not, oh wew I just avoided upsetting my fav artist any further! Or if the artist doesn't respond: oh I should still be respectful and give them the credit. Do it, be respectful, and give credit to your source of learning because confrontation is never a nice thing to face.

And if you want to ask about copy and heavy ref in Designing, especially Character design, I think that'll have to be for another day because I'm so tired now U_U) I hope this post can clear up something and give someone who needs it some insights

And remember: ALWAYS ASK FOR CONSENT AND GIVE CREDIT!

[yearsbecomingcool]

call me, beep me | simon kalivoda

donate to gaza here

pairing | simon kalivoda x f!reader

synopsis | you were an attempted overachiever, but alas your knowledge could only get you so far. your weak attention span was your enemy, the doctors refused to believe it was possible for a girl to have adhd so in an attempt to at least end up salutatorian you had to turn to drastic measures. the solution to your problems was 5’7 with a crooked smile and he just so happened to sit next to you in english.

warnings | drug usage/dealing, mentions of sexual harassment, f!reader, possibly ooc!simon, probably inaccurate drug prices, reader has adhd.

word count | just shy of 2k

a/n | i saw gladiator ii and instantly fell back in love with fred hechinger just like everyone else. i know the fear street fandom is dead but that won't stop me writing for one of my favorite characters in horror. the fear street films meant a lot to me when they first came out and i'm having a lot of fun revisiting them. i haven't written for men in so long it feels so weird lol. i didn't edit this because i got sleepy, sorry. requests are open btw <3

You were an attempted overachiever at best. You were vice president of nearly every club, you were on the debate team, you volunteered in the library during your free periods, but your grades just weren’t up to par. During elementary and middle school you had soared above the rest, finishing assignments with ease, blowing through tests like they were nothing. But along came high school and you had begun to struggle. You had never learned to study, you never had a need for it, that overlooked area of school had suddenly snuck up on you and knocked you to your knees. Kate Schmidt had begun to surpass you in…well everything. She was top of the class and you were barely scraping by with low A’s and high B’s. To anyone else it seemed like you were doing alright but to you and your parents it wasn’t enough. You’d be first in the family to attend college and they would only settle for the best. 

You were envious of her, cheer captain, valedictorian, president of every club in the goddamned school. You wondered how she had the time and hated how she didn’t struggle to study like you did. Despite your jealousy she had never been unkind to you, she was just perfect like that. She was for everyone in every clique, her best friends being a band geek and the school’s mascot. You had never really interacted with Deena, but Simon you were more familiar with. Every year without fail he had managed to end up in one of your classes and was always sitting near you. You had become friendly with one another, he’d go to you for homework answers every now and then and you hated to admit that it boosted your ego a bit that he’d come to you instead of Kate. 

He had this boy next door charm that made him so lovable to you and a majority of the school. He always greeted you so kindly when you’d see him at the grocery store, flashing you a crooked smile and asking if you had come just to see him. You’d play along, playfully flirting with him till he had finished ringing up your items. Every now and then when you knew you’d be staying up late to try and focus on your studying you’d head to the supermarket. You’d grab two energy drinks and a couple snacks and head to Simon’s register. You didn’t care if there were others open, you would go to him every time. After you paid you’d slide him one of the cans and tell him to pick his choice from your snacks. The first time you did it he refused bashfully and you decided to pick for him, leaving him a can and a bag of skittles on his register and rushing out the door with a smile on your face as you heard him call after you. After that he knew to just accept your gifts, he really needed them during his doubles. 

To many students he was known as the school's resident dealer, everyone from football players to the D&D club buying weed and pills off him at parties. Once you had even kept watch while your friends bought some weed off him, later that night when you toked up they had joked they should’ve had you buy. You rolled your eyes as they told you how he stared at you in your mini skirt and crop top as you stood in the doorway. You would never believe you’d be his type, he was kind and sociable enough to be popular in your mind, you doubted your debate skills would have him dropping to his knees. 

This year he sat next to you in English, you’d look the other way and scoot your paper over whenever you noticed him trying to glance at your answers. He had taken notice and would accidentally apply his employee discount to a few of your purchases. He was your best bet at actually getting the medication your doctor had refused to prescribe. 

You had woken up early that morning to get ready, you wanted to give yourself the best chance at a discount. You slipped on a v-neck black t-shirt and tucked it into your most school appropriate mini skirt, the silky material just barely resting below your fingertips. You had thrown a black cardigan over it and added a pair of sheer plaid tights and your favorite pair of combat boots. You even recreated the makeup you’d worn to the party he had allegedly stared at you at. Soft shimmery silver eyeshadow adorned your lids, thick eyeliner going right over it. You worked to create a cat eye look before applying mascara and a dark burgundy lip gloss. It was much different than how you usually showed up to school but it would be worth it, at least that’s what you told yourself. 

You felt eyes on you as you got onto the bus that morning, you took your usual seat towards the back and pulled out a book, Crash by J. G. Ballard, and read it in an attempt to distract yourself from the stares and shitty comments. A few boys whistled at you jokingly, another asking when you decided to be hot. You ignored them, you just had to get through the rest of the day. Finally English rolled around and you walked to your seat, Simon already sat in this. His notebook covered in messy doodles sat on his desk, his elbow next to it as he rested his head in his hand. When he noticed you walk in, his eyes lit up, going from your face down to your short skirt. You sat next to him, sitting your bag on your lap as you retrieved your notebook and pencil case. He’s staring at you shamelessly. As you sit your bag down beneath your desk you turn your attention towards him, “Could we talk after class?” You ask, giving him a sweet smile. 

“Uh, yeah, of course. I-I’ll see you then,” Simon answers, flustered. He mentally face palms, what the fuck does he mean he’ll see you then? He feels so stupid for saying that. He tries to distract himself by digging through his bag for a pencil, he realizes he definitely left it in his last period. He bites his lip and turns towards you almost bashfully. He scratches the back of his neck, “Hey, could I borrow a pencil? I lost mine.” 

You smile and nod, “Of course.” You unzip your pencil case and hand him one of your pre sharpened pencils, your fingers brushing against his as he grabs it. You see his cheeks turn red and you smile to yourself. Simon has a hard time trying to focus for the rest of class, his eyes always wandering back to you and your short skirt. When the bell rings he breathes a sigh of relief, gathering his things and waiting for you to do the same. You stand and lean in to whisper to him, “You’ve got pills right?” When you pull away he’s smiling wide. He nods and grabs your wrist, leading you out of the classroom and down the hall. He looks around before pushing you into the out of order girls restroom. 

“Never thought I’d see the day you’d be looking to buy,” He laughs, going into one of the stalls and opening a vent. He retrieves his box, his candy store as he calls it. He comes back out and flips the top off, giving you a look at his supplies. 

“I can never focus long enough to study right, I just need some adderall to help. You have adderall right?” I ask, sounding a little more desperate than I meant to. I lean back against the sink counter as his eyes scan through the box. 

“How much do you need? He asks, retrieving a bottle out of the box before shutting it and setting it on the sink next to you. 

“I don’t really know yet…I guess like a week's worth for now? I need to make sure it helps me before I go all in, y’know?” You reply, you eye the bottle nervously, tiny blue capsules filling it to the brim. “How much would that cost me? I don’t have a lot of money to blow, but-”

“How much do you have?” Simon asks, cutting you off. 

“Uhh $15…I know it’s nowhere near enough but-” 

Simon cuts you off again, “It’ll do.”

You furrow your brows, “Really? You don’t have to give me a discount just because-”

He cuts you off a third time and you feel annoyance bubble up in your chest, “I want to give you a discount and you should really take it, I don’t do this for many other people y’know.”

“Why are you being so nice to me?” You ask. Sure, you had hoped for a discount but this big of a discount is the last thing you were expecting.

Simon nervously scratches at the back of his neck as he answers you, “You always buy me snacks when you know I’m working, you share your answers with me during English even if you’d never admit it…and you’re pretty so that helps too,” he chuckles.

“So I’m getting the pretty girl discount then?” 

“That’s the one thing you got out of that?” He laughs and shakes his head, “Y’know what, yeah sure, you’re getting the pretty girl discount.” 

You run your tongue across your bottom lip and cross your arms over your chest, taking a step towards him. “Would I get even more of a discount if I gave you my number?” His compliments have boosted your confidence much further than you’d expected. 

He looks down at you, having a great view of your tits in your v-neck. “I could take another $5 bucks off.”

“My number’s only worth $5 to you?” You joke, taking another step towards him, toe to toe with him now. You can smell his cologne from where you stand, it makes you want to bury your face in his chest.

“You’re lucky I’m giving you that, I could always look you up in the phone book, y’know.”

Your cheeks heat up with embarrassment, “I’ll take that $5 off then.” 

He laughs, “I’m sure you will.”

You grab your notebook from your backpack and rip out a paper, scribbling your phone number across it as Simon slips seven of the pills into a bag for you. You hand him the paper and he hands you the bag. 

“Did you wear that hoping to get a discount?” He asks, pocketing the paper.

“I might’ve…did it help?” 

“You could’ve showed up in a sweater and sweatpants and I would’ve given you that discount anyway.” He reaches forward, grabbing the hem of your skirt, rubbing the soft material between his fingers. “This skirt’s cute though, you should wear it more often,” He looks back up at you, hand going to your thigh, “Do you really need to go to next period? We could always skip the phone call and just-”

You sigh, looking down at his hand and biting your lip. “I probably should, unfortunately. Call me after work, we’ll pick up where we left off…promise.” You say as you look back into his eyes. 

He smiles and nods, “I’ll call you, I’ll be off late. Will you be awake after midnight?”

“I will, just for you, Simon.”

Before he can respond the bell rings. “Oh fuck, we’re late!” You exclaim, grabbing your backpack off the sink. Simon kisses your cheek and runs back into the stall to hide the box back in the vent. Your hand goes up to where he kissed you and you speed walk towards the door, “I’ll be waiting for your call!” You yell before running off to class, starting to think up an excuse that’ll sound believable and keep your perfect attendance record untouched.

[gugapuppy]

Abortion - Part 7 (A!Ghost x O!Soap)

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Part 5 || Part 6 || Part 7

═══════════════════════════

First of all, HAPPY 2025!!! 🙌🎉🥳 I hope you had a great New Year's Eve with lots of food, music and fun!

Now, on to the chapter.

CW: Abortion (Offscreen)

═��═════════════════════════

"So... what did you want to talk about?" Soap stared at his own coffee, which exuded a slight vapour, and on the other side of the table, Laswell sat with her arms folded, her face calm.

She had arrived early the day after she and Price had come, saying that she would like to talk to Soap without the lads getting in their way, so the two of them decided to go to a coffee shop a few blocks away.

She swallowed and cleared her throat, making Soap look at her.

"First of all I'd like to explain properly about last night, I insisted that Price didn't come yesterday, but he wouldn't listen." She uncrosses her arms and places them on the table. "Let me explain the Ghost situation."

"Laswell," Soap exclaims, not knowing whether or not he wants to hear about his ex.

"Just... listen to me, after that I won't say anything else." Soap stares at her momentarily until she decides to give a small nod and take a sip of her coffee.

"Last night Ghost called Price, I was with him at the time." She takes a deep breath before continuing. "What Price said last night about Ghost wanting to be a part of your pregnancy is true."

"Then why did he leave me and accuse me, Laswell?! Why?!" A few people look round at Soap as he raises his voice.

"A few years ago, Ghost became a POW for a cartel in Mexico, the things those people did to him... it's something that shouldn't be commented on."

"And what's that got to do with it?" Soap almost spits at Laswell in indignation.

She pauses, thinking about how to tell Soap until she decides to just be blunt. "The reason Ghost walked away after you broke the news to him is because he thought he was infertile."

Soap pauses briefly, repeating Laswell's words in her head on a loop for a moment. The reason Ghost walked away is because he ‘thought’ he was infertile? He could have spoken to Soap if he was unsure!

"Ghost apparently shared this information with Farah who made him take a fertility test, the results of which showed that there were no fertility problems or STIs." Laswell added, leaving Soap with his mouth ajar and anxious.

Someone had to force Ghost to take a test... didn't he even think that maybe he was the father? He didn't even imagine the likelihood, he just jumped into what he always does and ignored everything. As if it was nothing. As if Soap simply didn't matter.

The touch of Laswell's hand on his makes him blink back to reality.

"He didn't trust me? Why didn't he tell me about this doubt, this could all have been avoided if he'd just..." Soap just shakes his head.

"Sometimes people are insecure and prefer to ignore the small ray of hope." She squeezes Soap's hand before letting go. "What do you want to do John?"

Soap doesn't answer right away, he thinks for a moment until he finally decides on an answer.

"I can't go back to Laswell... What guarantee is there that he won't ignore me or abandon me again? I tried to go after him even when he was accusing me of things I would never do... I can't go back to him. Not anymore."

Johnny tries to be strong, but every few moments his eyes start to get heavy and his jaw quivers with a small sob. His head shakes slightly,

Laswell's breathing is cut off for a moment, the smell of a stressed and sad omega spreads through the air. She moves over and stands next to Soap, trying to scent him and calm him down, which gradually works.

While she's crouched down next to Soap helping him, she says calmly. "I'm here for you, John." She hugs him straight away.

Soap returns the alpha's embrace, and in a stammer he says. "Kate... I need a favour."

--🧼--

The next day after the conversation with Laswell, Soap decided to write Simon a goodbye letter, he knew that seeing the alpha wasn't something that was going to happen.

When the day finally arrived, Johnny was nervous, every atom of his existence telling him not to proceed. But he knew that it was the omega's instincts, the instinct to look after the baby and not let anything hurt it. To be a dad.

Gaz had one arm around Soap's shoulder, one of his hands gripping omega's tightly.

Soap felt more at ease with his best friend there. He just wanted to make a nest and put him and Gaz inside, never to come out again.

Some of the patients passing by thought it was strange to see two big, strong men, one of them purring loudly at the other, but in all honesty, Soap didn't give a damn what anyone else thought.

The moment Gaz's sister called out to them, the two of them followed, Gaz saying that he would wait for Soap.

John was taken to a room where he was instructed to wear one of the hospital's clothes. Gaz's sister offered more strongly for the last time that Soap might see one of the therapists first, but the sergeant refused.

And then he was redirected to the room where the surgery was to take place.

As one of the doctors put on the anaesthetic gas mask, John's consciousness gradually faded, leaving only one thought. 

I'm sorry, pup.

--🧼--

When Soap finally woke up, he was lying on a bed, his body was sore and a slight dizziness ran through his head.

Next door he heard someone getting up and then something being put near his mouth, Soap jumped away, but then he heard it.

"It's just a straw, it's water." Gaz said calmly.

Soap drank the water little by little, his throat didn't hurt but his body did, he opened his eyes and looked around. He was in a private room, a window in the wall showed that it was night.

Slowly he sits up in bed, holding his hands a little too tightly. 

Gaz sits down on a small part of the bed next to Soap, who, just as Gaz gets into bed, rests his head on his shoulder. Gaz puts his arm round Soap and shakes him little by little, as if he were a child.

Soap slowly hides his face in Gaz's shoulder, and it's not long before the beta hears sniffling and something wet on his neck.

"It's done..." Soap sighs quietly.

Gaz lightly lays them both down on the bed, giving them little rubs.

"It's done..." Gaz affirms.

═══════════════════════════

Yes, it happened, and yes, there is no happy ending to this story. But this story will have two or three more chapters, which will be the bad ending and the hopeful ending.

If you're going through a difficult time and you're having doubts, see a counsellor for your own good. They will be able to help you.

Take care, and see you guys later.

PS: I guess because I was having a happy day this week, there wasn't much angst, but I'll make it up to you in the next chapter.

[rohirric-hunter]

Ooooh time for my horrible little theory about all that -- I have a thought that trying to burn Faramir alive, from Denethor's point of view, was love.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, because he was crazy," some of you are saying, but no, you're wrong, it makes perfect sense actually. See, Faramir always had to come as Denethor's second priority, despite being his son. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, to Boromir," some of you are saying, but no, you're wrong. Not to Boromir. To Gondor.

Boromir was the favored son because Boromir's wants and desires rarely if ever conflicted with what Denethor had to do and be for the sake of Gondor. Boromir's motivations and interests were what Denethor believed Gondor needed. A strong military affinity. A modern mindset that would also always put Gondor first in the way that Denethor believed it needed to be put first. Faramir of course also put Gondor first, but he looked to the past for wisdom, and Denethor, not even unreasonably, if we're honest, didn't like that because the past had not protected Gondor. His comment about Faramir desiring to appear "gracious and merciful like the kings of old," combined with something Tolkien wrote about how if Gondor won the war and Denethor was in charge he would have demanded very unforgiving tributes from Harad and the east in retaliation for the role they played in the war despite the fact that they likely had little if any choice, combined with Faramir's willingness to consider issues from all angles and make exceptions to the rules when he believes it necessary paint a rather ugly picture about the specific points upon which Denethor and Faramir likely clashed -- Faramir was more than willing to fight in the service of Gondor, but not ruthlessly so. He embodies pity and mercy, the traits that Bilbo showed when he chose not to kill Gollum, and the traits that in many cases were the only reason the Ring got destroyed at all. But Denethor did not value those traits. He demanded ruthlessness, because ruthlessness was, he believed, the only thing that was going to save them. And so Faramir was the less favored child, not necessarily because Denethor didn't love him, but because he was something that Denethor didn't believe he could afford to love.

So when the enemy comes, and the city is surrounded, and Denethor sees in the Palantir the black ships (but not who is on them), and he sees in the Palantir the empty road northward (but not the secret roads through the Druadan that his allies were actually taking), and he sees in the Palantir the dead body of the messenger he sent to Rohan, still holding the arrow that he sent in a plea for help (but not the fact that Theoden received the message already and gave the arrow back), and when he sees in the Palantir Frodo captured, lying in a prison in Mordor without the Ring (but not Sam carrying it himself), Denethor assumes, quite reasonably, that all hope is lost. Minas Tirith can only last a few days against this assault. He has been led to believe that no help is coming. Despite everything he sacrificed for it, Gondor has fallen. There is no point in loving Gondor anymore. There's about to be nothing left to love.

So in those last moments, Denethor is finally able to love Faramir first, before Gondor. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then he lights him on fire," some of you are saying, and I mean, okay, you're right, but hey quick question, do you think being an important political prisoner of Sauron is fun? Do you think being the guy who led innumerable guerrilla assaults against Sauron's allies and weakened his forces and largely held Ithilien and Osgiliath against him for quite frankly a ridiculous amount of time all things considered would be a nice thing to be, if you also happened to be Sauron's prisoner? Do you think the captain who commanded the loyalty and admiration of all of Gondor's army, inspiring them to stand up and fight in the face of overwhelming odds would be having a good time in the dungeons of Barad-dur? And what is the point in asking Faramir to endure that? Gondor has fallen. Gondor is gone. Boromir believed, and Denethor almost certainly also believed, that Gondor was the one thing holding Sauron back from taking over the whole rest of the world that he hadn't already conquered. And he thinks Sauron has the Ring. The whole rest of the world is, from his point of view, just as doomed as Gondor. As far as Denethor knows, this is the end of the world. There's nothing after this, only eternal darkness and suffering. Why should he ask his son to endure that?

I'm not justifying any of Denethor's actions. I'm not even saying he was a good person. But rest assured that if it was Boromir and not Faramir lying injured and dying but still alive, Denethor would have done the exact same thing. He loved Faramir. He knew he loved Faramir. And he was showing Faramir love in the only way he knew of. And yeah it's awful, but you have to remember he was in regular direct contact with Sauron for 30 years. WHICH by the by, Sauron had Numenor doing human sacrifices to Morgoth in less than one year. The best he could get out of Denethor after thirty years was killing his son while he was unconscious because he loved him too much to allow him to suffer. So. There's that.

[lovelizards]

"Now, Meres, can you tell me what it is you've done wrong?"

The weight of the slender man's legs as they crossed at the ankles and rested on Meres' shoulder was nothing compared to the intense pressure he felt under his master's cold gaze.

How long had it been since he'd been punished?

The moments where he found himself on his knees begging for forgiveness were few and far between in the last few years.

Since he was broken in, Meres had always been a good dog.

No matter what the order was, no matter how fraught his sleep was with the nightmares of things he'd been forced to do, he had done them without questioning.

"Meres." The slender man spat his name like an insult.

"F - forgive me, my lord, I -"

"I asked what you did wrong. I'm waiting for your answer."

"Ah, forgive me, I - I -" Meres hesitated, because the answer wasn't exactly as clear as he thought it was. Should he just apologise for everything all at once? Surely the punishment would be easier if he just got it all out and admitted his mistakes.

The slender man sighed, nudging his head with the side of a shoe.

"You've never been the brightest dog, but must I really repeat myself a third time? Don't you know you shouldn't do things you'll have to ask forgiveness for in the first place?"

"Y - yes, of course, my lord...I - I have been hesitant in following your orders. And - and I've been too familiar with your possessions. And - "

The slender man interrupted him with a kick to the face.

It was the shock of pain rather than the force of it that knocked him, unbalanced, onto his back. Hot blood streamed from his nose and he coughed on it.

With a heavy sigh, the slender man stood up, and put pressure against one of his legs with the flat of his shoe, straining the muscle. Meres grimaced against the pain, but dare not utter a sound.

"Usually I wouldn't care about a neutered dog playing with some wild bird, but it seems like that filthy thing is a bad influence on you."

"A - a bad -?" Meres coughed, "No, she - Iska isn't -"

"Don't you know how cunning a mage is, Meres?" The slender man's tone softened, "they will say and do anything for their own benefit. Did you suppose breaking the tether I have on you would win her over? That the two of you might run off to a happily ever after?"

Meres didn't dare meet the man's eyes.

It was true that he'd been trying to fight against the enchantment.

Iska had said only the weak-willed could be controlled. She...had believed in him, that he could fight it. The arcane mind control that sometimes blinded him and caused him to lose hours, days at a time in a haze -

He had thought if he could break it, maybe...maybe they could...together...

But the slender man knew, he always knew. There was no escaping him.

"Forgive me, my lord...it - it wasn't because of her, I - I get headaches...that's the only reason..."

Meres did his best, but the fear made his voice break. It felt impossible to craft any kind of lie in front of his master.

"You poor, sad beast..." the slender man sighed, "I can see that mage has truly gotten her talons into you."

"N - no, my lord, it isn't like that - I - I only - aagh!"

The slender man gripped Meres' face tightly, his palm flat against Meres' eyes and fingers pressing painfully against his temples.

"Listen to me well, Meres. Are you listening?" The slender man tightened his grasp and caused a shooting pain to rocket through Meres' head.

"Agh - y - yes, I - I'm listening my lord -"

"There is nothing for you in the world except serving me. What would you be without me? I gave you what pittance of magic you were able to absorb. I gave you a purpose. You were nothing when I found you, and you'll be nothing again if you ever were to leave."

The slender man's words rang and echoed strangely in his head, humming almost like a song, tolling low like a bell.

Meres clenched his teeth against it, but with his eyes forced closed there was nothing he could do to distract himself from it.

"That mage's very blood flows pure with mana, she is a mage the likes of which you could never begin to imagine. Even when I break her, she will still be more than a pathetic mutt like you."

The slender man was right. Meres was nothing. Not strong enough to defend himself. Not strong enough to break the mind control. Only as good as his strength. Nothing...nothing...

"A powerful mage..." Meres mumbled, feeling a strange numbness in his fingers, "Iska is..."

Iska...Iska...the name echoed again and again in his mind.

Somewhere, swimming in the fog, like a weak flickering light against a darkness, he found her face. The soft of her lips, the brush of her fingers, her sharp eyes and her voice like a melody when it called his name.

"Poor Meres," the slender man said gently, "so strong of body, yet so weak of mind..."

"Yes...I - I am weak. Forgive me, my lord...I never meant to..."

The slender man slowly pulled his hand away, but Meres kept his eyes closed. He wanted to keep the image of Iska in his mind for as long as he could.

The only light he had ever known in this cold, dark place.

"Retire to your room. I am busy now, your punishment will come later."

"Yes, my lord..."

Meres stood, his legs aching. He finally opened his eyes, wincing against the pale white light of day filtering in through the curtains.

He could feel the beat of his own heart, not racing, but drumming a steady march. Maybe...when he told Iska how he'd been fighting against the enchantment...

Maybe she would reach out to him, touch his face gently.

And if they could...somehow...leave this place...

Even if he became nothing, as long as he was by her side...

Then maybe some day he could see her smile at him.

And that would be enough.

[dramaticallytotal]

TDWT Headcanons Pt. 5

Part 1 Last Part

• Heather, Leshawna, Eva, and Sierra were Bratz girlies.

• Courtney, Gwen, and Bridgette were Barbie girlies.

• Lindsay and Izzy were all. Bratz, Barbie, Holly Pocket, My Scene. You name it. While Lindsay was in it for the fashion, Izzy liked to put Barbie dolls on ceiling fans star-fished and turn in on and try not to get hit. Also, for makeovers. Izzy also chewed the rubber Polly Pocket clothes.

• Gwen was also a Living Dead Dolls girlie.

• Eva, for some odd reason, gives me cabbage patch vibes.

• Courtney is also very American Girl Doll coded. But also Eva, in the sense she always wanted one.

• I don't know why but I felt the need to make those headcanons even though they have nothing to do with WT XD

• Chris found out Noah can actually sing because his sister Noelle messaged him from their mom's phone since Chris is...ugh...friends with his parents. Noelle got mad that Noah wasn't actually singing even though she knew he could. So she ratted him out to Chris and even shared a video from when they were younger, and Noelle had him perform Phantom of the Opera with her in their living room. She was Erik, he was Christine.

• So Chris tells him he has to sing a song all by himself in New York because Broadway is there, and he was inspired by the video. Noah is so pissed! He knew Noelle was actually mad at him for eating the last of the Rava Ladoo before he left! But she said it was fine! He makes it a point to tell her this during a confessional. He may also be planning to hack into her accounts and post one of the embarrassing videos he had of her.

• Then Noah got an idea. This show is supposed to be family-friendly. If he sang a not so family friendly song, then it would have to be cut! Thankfully, Chris told him he could pick a song to sing, so he quickly told the band what song and hoped they knew it. They did and were all trying very hard not to laugh as they could already imagine Chris's reaction. Then Noah grabbed an intern around his age that he knew named Tristan, who sang and sang well.

• Please imagine Noah singing Sugar Daddy from Hedwig and the Angry Inch. Going all out and everyone is just STUNNED. Alejandro is so flustered, but he can't look away. Izzy, Eva, and Owen are rocking out and cheering for Noah. We love supportive best friends UwU

• Trent and Cody have stars in their eyes and are already trying to come up with arguments of why Noah should join their emo band. I mean boy band.

• Chris is impressed and pissed because he definitely has to cut the song, but it's okay. He's just going to make sure Noah actually sings from here on out.

• Alejandro definitely did not lie awake at night thinking about Noah's performance. Nope!

• When Lindsay is annoyed with someone, she purposefully calls them by the wrong name. She does that already because it's part of her character, but when she's annoyed? She takes it up a notch.

• Yes, Lindsay isn't the smartest person, but come on, she's not that dumb! She's on a gymnastics team and a really good one at that. In order to stay on the team, she has to have decent grades. But she knew that people love a dumb blonde, and she's all for playing the part.

• Tyler may be clumsy, but the dude is actually really strong. We've seen he has an uncanny strength in his fingertips, but also he was able to pull his sled with his team plus random crates. He's actually won a pull-up competition without really trying.

• Heather can do anything in heels. When she was younger, she idolized Michelle Pfieffer's Cat Woman. She saw the way the woman did everything in heels and was just like, "that's gonna be me." And she did it.

• Bridgette is totally a tarot card girlie. I mean, we know she likes crystals from her biography, so I can totally see her being a tarot card reader. Coincidentally, Gwen was a rock/ gem kid, so they tend to talk about rocks/gems and what they mean and it's just a nice break from the competition for the both of them.

• Cody and Noah aren't actually mad about the whole awake-a-thon kiss thing anymore and tend to make jokes about it because they figured if they didn't, others would and they would be pretty cruel about it. So what better way to skip that treatment than to show it doesn't bother them?

• They tend to call each other stupid pet names, but they stopped that because of Sierra. But Cody is still pretty protective of Noah and also considers himself his wingman.

• Alejandro is definitely not glad they stopped because he definitely wasn't jealous.

• DJ and Leshawna tend to jam out together from her playlist since both have a love of music. DJ used to play the trumpet in school for a bit, and Leshawna can actually play the drums pretty well.

• Leshawna sees Tyler as a little brother of sorts. He reminds her of a kid she met when she volunteered at the community center at home, and the poor dude is so clumsy she can't help but try and take him under her wing. Plus, she likes his determination.

• Harold, Noah, Trent, and Tyler were all Scouts. Noah only made it to being a Beaver Scout, not because he couldn't handle the training because he could and got bored! Trent and Tyler made it to be Cub Scouts, but Trent stopped because he got more into music while Tyler was asked to leave because of how many times he got injured.

• Harold made Venturer but then auditioned for Total Drama. He is hoping to get back to it and make Rover!

• Trent has a habit of sneaking Gwen treats from first class if his team wins. She finds it absolutely adorable and makes sure not to tell her team, but she always sneaks him thank you notes.

• When they aren't competing, the kids tend to make their own small competitions like who can do the most push up, who can hold a note the longest, who can steal something from Chris's room without him noticing. Or who can add something to his room and how long it takes for him to notice.

• Also, they bet so much, oh my god. There's a pot where they bet snacks, whatever cash they brought, favors, and secretly votes.

Next Part

[leaawrites]

No one's gonna tell her what I'm on about

Liam Gallagher x fem!reader

Summary: when Liam takes on a dare from his friends, he doesn't believe of finding himself making the biggest mistake in his life.

This part 1 of a series.

Warnings: swearing, lying, Liam being a player

Wordcount: 1.6k

Masterlist, Part 2

“I dare you to -”

It started simple - it really did. A shot here, a dare there and so on. Nothing too harmful, just little jokes on the bartender or the people around.

With the lights dimmed and the air in the pub growing thicker by the second, Liam could hardly tell apart what once was and what was happening right now. His friends’ words blurred together, creating a chain of sounds with no meaning behind them other than, ‘I dare you to’ and he’d do it. No matter what it was, he’d do it because in his eyes: What was shame if not loneliness? He’d still have the same people around after doing whatever and people might like him less but what did he care about them?

One of his friends looked around the room as he thought of a second part to his sentence, a challenge that would make him say “no” even when it seemed impossible for Liam to say that. It seemed like that word didn’t even exist in his vocabulary, like it was some foreign sentence he could only deny because he wasn’t aware of it’s significance and would rather go on with his day like normally.

“I dare you to,” he started again, his eyes lighting up with mischievous as they found it’s next prey. Bouncing his leg, Liam waited patiently for his task, cigarette burning down in between his fingers. Being the ‘cool guy’ made it easier, he had to admit, he was never lonely, there would always be someone around. “Go home with her.” His friend pointed somewhere into the crowd at a table.

Liam followed his finger, letting his gaze linger on all the people around until he finally found her. The girl he was dared to take with him tonight. Sat in a corner far away from them with her head hanging low over the pint in front of her eyes.

“Easy,” he mocked, starting to stand up and swagger over in his usual step.

Her eyes snapped up as soon as she saw the familiar body stand in front of her, elbows leaned on the table and a smug smirk on his face.

Liam Gallagher, a boy she only got to observe from afar in school or from her bedroom window, hanging with his friends behind one of their houses. There had never been more than a quick glance her way from his side, so why would he lean so close to her now?

“What do you want?” she asked, shifting the glass further away from her body.

“Nothing,” he casually answered. “What ya got there?” Taking the glass, he sniffed at it before taking a sip. "Eww, what’s that shite?”

“What do you care?” she asked annoyed, taking it back from his grip, brushing his fingers in the action.

“Just don’t want you having to taste something so awful.”

Without another word, Liam turned on his heel and walked towards the bar, holding up two fingers and saying something to the bartender before looking her way again, smirking at her and almost missing the moment two glasses were slid over the counter his way.

Returning to her side once more, he put one of the pints in front of her and taking the other one himself.

“What’s that now?” she asked, not quite trusting whatever he was having in mind.

“Guinness,” he answered, taking a sip himself. “Me favourite.”

“So it’s good?”

“Of course, love,” he answered, looking almost offended. “Everything I like is good.”

“Sure,” she muttered under her breath, still lifting the glass up to her lips and tasting the liquor held within. Twisting her face at the bitter taste on her tongue, coughing slightly as her taste buds took in the taste of the beer.

Liam let out a loud laugh as she put it down again, not just because of the uncomfortable crinkle in her eyes, but also the stain it left behind. Hiding his big smile behind his hand, he tried not letting it show.

“What? I can’t help that it tastes bad-”

Before she could finish her sentence, Liam shook his head and cut her off. “It’s not that, you just got-” Leaning across the table, he took the sleeve of his shirt between his fingers and gently removed the moustache she received from the foam.

She had always been an observer, never more than a candle in the back of a chandelier, now she stood under the light. Someone’s attention was only on her, making her insides churn and her heart pick up speed. Her heart aching as she lost his touch from her skin and he leaned back again, smirking at the crimson red colour creeping up on her face. Wide eyes staring back at him.

He had her now.

“You’re really sweet, you know that?”

Sweet? As if.

She scoffed, her insides falling from the pedestal they climbed on to put him there as she recognized the charming way of talking he used on one too many girls in front of her eyes to make it seem genuine and believable.

“Yeah, right.” Laughing right at his face and shaking her head in disbelief with another sip of the beer. It still tasted awful to her.

Silence settled over the table. Bottom lip sucked between his teeth, Liam looked around the room, back at his friends who were still gauging at him, waiting for them to walk out together. Waiting for a wink and smirk sent their way. Waiting for him arm over her shoulder.

A slap on the shoulder brought him back to where he was sat, some force shaking him out of his head.

“What’s up, Gallagher?” A guy he knew from his old maths class greeted him, saying a few words he didn’t quite understand but still nodded his head to. Exchanging a few words before he was off again.

“Isn’t that annoying?” she asked, taking another sip from her Guinness, the taste gradually normalizing itself to her taste buds. “Having all those people around you all the time?”

“How can that be fucking annoying?”

“Well, for starters, you never have space for yourself,” she started listing, making him roll his eyes at her posh accent. “People always surround you, which means they talk about you all the time.”

“I don’t care what people think about me,” he answered, leaning back. Acting nonchalant, and maybe he didn’t care, though she doubted it. He didn’t care what strangers thought, surely, he was way too confident for that. It were only those close enough to him that made his head reeling in conflict late at night, she supposed.

“Good and bad?”

“Don’t fucking care.”

“So, you never feel alone in a crowded room?”

It had been a feeling she felt most of her time when her friends weren’t around. Leaving her in a bar at a table, sat alone, while they were off with their boyfriends or some other guy they met, on nights like these.

“Why would I?”

“No reason, I just wondered.”

“Well, you can fuck yourself, as well as your wonderin',” he got more defensive the more she questioned him.

“I’m not the one who started talking to you, pretty boy. Maybe just turn around and go back to those friends of yours if you’re not interested in talking with me, eh?” She said, staring at him and making him understand that she wasn’t joking around with him anymore.

“You’re insufferable, you know that?” The smirk crept back on his face, making her roll her eyes in disbelief. How could someone be so unbelievably relevant in his own head? A true joke, that he called her insufferable.

“One or two people have mentioned it before, yeah.”

He laughed quietly, nodding his head. His eyes trailing down her body, eyes peeking past the over-sized leather jacket she wore. Familiar words looking back at him.

“You like The Stone Roses?” he asked, looking back up at her eyes. Surprise lacing his voice.

“Of course, they’re class.” She said it like it was obvious, whereas half his friends found them to be pretentious and dumb.

He nodded, eyes swirling over her face, taking in the nervous look in her eyes and how he could see that she sucked in her cheek, biting on it. A nervous habit that had lead to her having to leave the classroom more than once because it started bleeding a lot.

“I heard you’re in a band?”

“Yeah, we’re mega. You should come see us this weekend.”

It was the best opportunity. He wouldn’t have to leave with her tonight, wouldn’t have to leave her behind in the morning and act like nothing had happened the next day. Inviting her to a gig and telling his mates that was his date made it easier for both of them.

He didn’t mind going home with different girls on different nights, though something about her told him that this wouldn’t just be one night and done if he started with it.

Without giving him an answer, she continued, “How did you get into music anyway. I mean, you never seemed interested in it at school.”

“Got me a hammer thrown on the head and ta-da, I’ve become a Rock star.” Pointing to the place where the scar was still visible when you look close enough.

“Those bellends truly gave you a future the day you could’ve died,” she said, remembering seeing him laying on the grass with his head bleeding. “It looked pretty scary though.”

“You stalking me or summat?”

“My bed is looking out the window, so I see almost everything happening in front of my house. You just happen to be standing there most of the time, so maybe you’re the stalker.”

“Maybe I am.”

[sugarplumfairy777]

Can you give me a wake up call to stop procrastinating my dream life? 😭

okie ♡ but seriously do you rlly want your dream life or what? 😭 cuz going around and asking for motivation and “wake up calls” is not the way to go. ur the one who needs to apply and realize your power. you need to understand this deeply—you are god. everything you want, every dream you have, every desire you hold onto is already yours. the void state, manifesting your dream life, it’s all easy. it’s your natural state. you don’t have to struggle or search for it because you already are it. you are limitless, you are powerful, and the only thing standing between you and everything you want is your hesitation. you’ve been letting fear and laziness hold you back, but that’s not who you are. that’s not your truth. you are the one who controls your reality. you dictate what happens. the second you decide something, it becomes real. the void state isn’t some distant, difficult place to reach—it’s your home. it’s always been with you, waiting for you to step into it fully. and when you do, you’ll see how effortless everything truly is. this procrastination, this avoidance of your true potential, it’s just a habit—a habit that you have the power to break. you know deep down that there’s no reason to wait, no reason to hold yourself back, because your dream life is not hard to achieve. it’s not far away. it’s already yours. you just need to remember who you are. stop letting fear dictate your actions, stop letting laziness whisper in your ear that it’s okay to put things off. it’s not okay because your dream life is waiting, and you deserve to live it. every time you hesitate, every time you procrastinate, you’re just delaying the inevitable: your success, your happiness, your perfect life. why wait? why keep putting off what you can have right now? you are capable of stepping into that reality this very second. you’ve always had the power. the universe bends to your will. it listens to your every command. everything you want is effortlessly yours. but you have to claim it. stop underestimating yourself. stop thinking things are hard or that you have to struggle. you don’t. you were born with the power to create the life of your dreams without lifting a finger. everything is energy, everything is vibration, and you are the master of it all. every single thing you desire is ready to fall into place the moment you decide to let go of the fear, the laziness, the excuses. they’re not real. they have no power over you. the only thing that’s real is you—your power, your potential, your ability to shape your reality as you see fit. there’s no need to be scared because nothing can stop you. the world doesn’t control you; you control it. remember that every second, every thought, every feeling shapes your experience. what you focus on grows, and you have the ability to focus on your dreams and watch them unfold in front of you with ease. your dream life is effortless because you’re the one creating it. it’s already done. you just have to step into it. it’s time to wake up and stop playing small. stop doubting your power. stop letting fear or laziness make you think things are hard. they’re not. you are the easiest, most powerful force in your own universe, and your dream life? it’s just waiting for you to embrace it. it’s time to rise. everything you want is already yours. you just need to decide to claim it right now. STOP PROCRASTINATING ITS FREAKING 2025 😡😡😡

[hugemilkshake]

happy new years! and still no new ananas dragon cookie content...i am so MISERABLE AND HUNGRY

but you are whats left of my hope...so may i request MORE yandere ananas dragon cookie? but in their costume version- raging calamity. for some reason ananas's raging calamity fits them for somewhat yandere, if you get what im on about...heh. the plot can be anything! but heres an idea, maybe reader is being held captive.

thanks, and have a nice day wherever you are! *disappears

Enjoy the milkshake! I was planing on making something with a costume and a was stuck between the Cookiemals' Forest Welcome Party and Blackberry Cookies Ghastly Bride in ToA

A raging calamity

-romantic or platonic-

!TW! Under the cut there are themes like overprotectiveness, bad coping mechanisms, and guilt tripping

It was all gone.

The islands. The thing Ananas Dragon worked so hard to protect. It was all gone.

Except… one lone cookie…

When looking around to see if anything survived of their islands they spotted a cookie who seemed to be deeply injured in the water.

Ananas Dragon took no time to get the cookie out, their dough was soggy, they seemed to be barely hanging onto life.

They were the last thing left of Ananas dragons beloved islands.

They were going to protect this cookie. Even if it means others die for them.

—————————————

If you had one word to describe Ananas Dragon, it would be jealous. They were jealous. I mean, they destroy everything they come into contact with, when you asked about it, the respons you got was threatening yet… sad..

“Because if I can’t have the wonders and beauty of life, no one can.”

You knew that your home was destroyed, you were distraught of course, but… you didn’t take it out on everyone else! I mean… not that you could anyways..

You always had Ananas looking over your shoulder, if you even got a scratch, you’d have the dragon in tears, crying about how they couldn’t lose you too and that if you left, you’d be dead.

You wanted to leave but seeing the once generous and caring be so… broken made you feel like you had to stay…

I mean if you left, more cookies would be harmed. Because you left a fragile and lonely dragon.

So for the time being… you’ll stay put, maybe Ananas Dragon will come around and see the harm they’ve caused…

Right…?

—————————————

Months have passed… at least, you think it’s been months. There’s been more destruction than ever. No cookie is safe. If the dragon spots even the smallest insect, it’s burnt to a crisp. You managed to slip away from the dragon but not without difficulty.

Your leg was injured, you had no food and fatigue was setting in. You could hear sounds of destruction close by, but the dragon had a soft voice… their voice held no anger.

“Y/N Cookie… can you come out..?” The sound of a rock shattering rung out “it’s not safe for you, I’m just trying to keep you safe…”

You put your hand over your mouth, hoping to not catch the dragons attention to your hiding spot. “Please… I can’t lose you too…” Ananas sounded like they were on the verge of tears. But… were they? Was this a ploy to get you to come out? Or was this genuine pain… maybe it was a bit of both…

You felt a breeze rush at you, as you opened your eyes, you saw them. Your jam ran cold as your eyes met their gaze. Their once golden scales had long since purpled and their eyes were cold yet soft for you.

“There you are..!” Ananas Dragon rushed to you and embraced you in a cold yet warm hug. “You could died if I didn’t find you…”

You felt their grip tighten around you. “I swore that nothing would ever happen to you… but here we are… I’m going to make sure you never get hurt ever again.”

“I will destroy anyone who tries to change that.”