#it was a lot better than this one but. alas

[naturesapphic]

HII! I LOVEEE the caregiver billie and little fem reader fanfics!! I was wondering if u could do an angst we’re the fans aren’t really supportive of the relationship (caregiver/little + them being together) and how billie will deal with it!

(Please never die I love your content)

Not Real Fans

Caregiver!billie eilish x little!fem!reader

Warnings: age regression, fans being mean, hurt/comfort, fluff, Billie being extremely protective over you

A/n: putting these two together since they are pretty much the same except that the last one didn’t ask for the reader to be little but I can write that soon with y/n not being little :)

Word count: 1,097

You knew being together with Billie would come with some challenges. Not being able to see her for long periods of time, her being gone a lot, and most importantly her fans. Billie absolutely loved her fans as they are pretty much the number one thing in their life. So when y’all got together she warned you about them and how they can be a big protective of her. You said you could handle them and that it would all be okay but you didn’t know how bad things were gonna get.

When y’all came out as a couple most of the fans absolutely adored you. They loved y’all’s relationship with Billie and knew that you would never hurt her. They loved you so much they even posted about how Billie better not hurt you which made you laugh. Of course, when you have something good, bad will come with it. You’ve seen certain comments and posts directed towards you about how you are no good for billie and how she can do so much better than you.

But it only gotten worse when you told your fans about how you age regress. Of course some were very confused and skeptical. Others were not supportive but most of your true fans loved you no matter what. Sadly, that’s when the real hate came in on you. They made fun of your age regression and say how disgusting and wrong that is, and how dare you rope billie into it. It was truly horrifying all the horrible stuff being said to you, but alas you couldn’t tell billie about it.

She cared way too much for them and you weren’t gonna be the person to change that. So you will suffer in silence and try to block it out but on this particular day you couldn’t. You were regressed and playing games on your mommy’s phone when a notification caught your eye. “Billie probably has other girls/littles besides y/n. I wouldn’t want to deal with her annoying ass all the time.” The comment said and you felt your eyes burn with tears. You knew deep down billie would never do that to you and y’all’s relationship.

But the comment was replaying over and over in your brain and since you were regressed you really thought she had others which made you upset. You turned off her phone and buried your face in the couch cushions as you sobbed. Billie was in the kitchen making you a snack when she heard sobs coming from the living room. She stopped what she was doing and ran into the living room to see you face down in the couch cushions sobbing. Billie went over to you and got on her knees beside you, rubbing your back.

“What’s wrong with my sweet baby hm?” She asked as she tried to sooth you. You sniffled and pulled your face away from the cushions to look at your mommy who had a worried expression on her face. “N-notings…”. You whispered and she frowned. “Baby come on…don’t keep things from mommy…”. She said and you whimpered. “Nu wan chus mads at mes.” You said, your bottom lip quivering. “Babygirl I could never be mad at you, especially when you are crying right now. You can tell mommy anything…”. She said softly, bring her hand to your face to wipe away the remaining tears.

You told her about the mean fans and their comments they make about you and the posts. You saw the sudden shift in her gaze and she knew that she was pissed. How could her fans make you feel this way? She loves her fans but she draws a line when they come for her little baby. “Don’t worry your pretty little head about it. Mommy will take care of it okay?” She reassured you and you nodded before opening your mouth again, telling her about the comment you just saw. “Hey. I don’t have other girls or littles. Not when I have the most perfect girl ever! Which is you by the way princess. You are the only baby I ever want. No one or nothing can replace you. You have my heart babydoll.” She said softly, leaning down to place a soft kiss to your forehead.

You gave her a small smile and then she started to tickle you so you would smile which worked. Your giggles filled the entire house and she pulled her hands away when you kept telling her to stop. “Can mommy have her phone for a second doll?” She asked and you grabbed her phone from beside you and handed it to her. She went on Instagram and took a picture of y’all’s hands intertwined and made a Instagram story about how the haters needed to fuck off and leave her girl alone. That if anyone keeps sending in hate that she will make sure that they are all blocked and handled with. She posted the story and she told you about what she had posted.

“Mommy…chu Nu has to dos dats…”. You tell her and she shakes her head smiling. “Even though they are my fans, the ones who are sending you hate aren’t my true fans and I will not stand for it.” She explained and you nodded, moving to get on her lap. She wraps her arms around you and pulls you close to her. “I love you babygirl…so so much…I will always protect you. No matter what.” She reassures you and you smiled against her chest. “Wuv mommy mores…”. You replied and she chuckled, placing a sweet kiss on the top of your head. No matter who it is, no one will get away with hurting her girl.

A/n: thank you to these two anons for the request. I hope them and the rest of y’all enjoyed! Remember to stay hydrated and to rest! Take care of yourselves. I love y’all :)

[yanlei-a]

How is Zed's sense of self? Does he view himself as more of a weapon than a person sometimes? Or does he have a good grasp on his own identity?

— @bells-of-black-sunday

first of all!!! this is such a good question thank you sm for it...

but getting to finally answer... it's complicated.

i think his sense of self is actually better now than it used to be. even then, i also think it's something so deeply tied to his sense of worth and being acknowledged as a person and how, for several different reasons, he doesn't always have that.

zed's background as a peasant, someone who came from nothing and who had nothing, definitely ensured he wasn't treated as a person when he was younger. like. the fact he stays in thanjuul for two whole years as a servant and no one even know who he is or what his name is until kusho makes him fight shen... to me it comes across as deeply dehumanizing, especially for a child (he was like, 13, meaning he had been there since 11). and that definitely fucked up with his perception of himself, too, and with his identity and sense of self.

it's still plain to see in how he acts nowadays. during his final confrontation with his master, he says 'a man without honor is not a man', and kusho viciously retorts talking about how he feels he has to be respected and mocking his origins. and even though what kusho does to him is disgusting, i do think it's terrible in a way because it hits the mark. because he holds on to his ideals of honor and respect because it's only through them he feels he is seen and is truly a person. but of course, considering his story and the fact he killed his master, most would judge him honorless; and when it comes to that it's only the knowledge of the full, true story that ensures this doesn't strip him of all sense of really seeing himself as a person rather than a thing or worse.

despite that, i do think he sometimes sees himself more as a tool and a weapon than a person, something to be used until it doesn't have an use anymore, and to eventually be discarded. he lives for his goals, and there are seldom moments that are in any way about who he is as an individual. i mentioned kayn the other day to talk about how important his presence is to zed, and i think even in that it makes a difference, because it's a deep genuine bond, a connection that keeps him human.

but i also think as he got older and got to see things differently his sense of self became... better. his situation, being despised by those around him but knowing (in his eyes) he did what he had to do for a greater good, definitely helped in the sense it made him rely a bit less on other people's perceptions. he knows his truth, and he knows his worth, even when he doesn't think particularly highly of himself. he knows he fights for people who are what he once was, nobodies and nothings, invisible to everyone else, and they're still important to him and they're still people deserving of respect, and i think that also helped him be a bit more oh maybe i'm also a person deserving of respect regardless. he is in a pretty isolated position where he isn't only a weapon, but also a leader. there are people relying on and looking up to him. and i think he understood to stand for them also involved a degree of standing for himself, and seeing himself as more than just a weapon.

this is a confusing mess of a rant, but i hope i got the point across. basically i think he has a much better sense of self nowadays than he used to have, and in part that's because of the role he embraced and the need to know who he was to stand up for himself and others. but that doesn't erase sometimes he does still feel like he's just weapon, and that there's nothing more to him than what he was forged to do. i think deep down that's a feeling that always sort of stays.

[crowhoonter]

A brute is rampaging in the Brockton Bay downtown area by my apartment, causing a general ruckus

Me, a thinker 3: Well well well, look at this. Another Brute class thinking that because they are big and strong means they're better than everyone else. Would you be surprised to learn that I'm a thinker? Do you even know what that means buster? My mind is running a thousand calculations a minute to beat you, to turn every move against yourself. Your silly little musclebound tantrum cannot begin to compare to my genius intellect, truly brains are better than braw-

He hits my body once with a single finger, turning me into a fine red mist

[peppermint-moss]

PUT ME IN A BOX, BOY, PUT ME IN A BOX! PUT ME IN A BOX AND CALL ME ANYTHING YOU WANT, BOY! - Worth it by Haley Heynderickx

-----

Uh oh mr. citrus clementine.... someones in a pickle (been trapped in his own mind for months after having to lobotomize himself to gain critical information that would have otherwise killed him and wiped out any memory of his existence)

commission info || ko-fi (tip jar)

bonus: was messing around with finishing details and accidentally made this which i thought looked sick as fuck

[ghostlyschizophrenic]

me: i’ve been in recovery for a while, my delusions don’t control me anymore!

also me: *has to hide under blankets if i want to look at fandom content for certain fandoms because i think i’m being watched by the characters*

me: yes i’m definitely 100% better

[pawnguild]

must say something abt this manuscript if i need to drink to get through revisions :/

[icewindandboringhorror]

a boye whom'st loves to attack paper balls

[wander-wren]

me: i don’t wanna be a cog in the capitalist machine!! my job doesn’t care about me and i literally don’t get paid enough to care about it!!

the part of me relentlessly scrutinized for being the family fuckup: but,,,,when i do good job customers like me,,,,when i do extra managers think i’m the best,,,,

[devotion-between-the-wheat]

in other news, I finally got a new computer ✨🎉✨

[blitz0hno]

I don't want to get off my phone I don't want to stay on my phone I don't want to pump gas I don't want to do deliveries I don't want to get ready for bed I don't want to write anything of substance I don't want to create I don't want to not create I don't want to be here I don't want to go anywhere I don't want to move I don't want to stay still my brain and body seem to simply want to sit here and Yearn

[aria0fgold]

Thinkin bout Soleil. I wanted to talk bout em after I drew the art but but I wanna talk bout em noooowww. Though tbf there aint much info I got rn. Sol is just gonna be one of the NPCs that the cast can meet, it'll be known as "The Forgetful One," their name also is just something it took from a book, they liked the word so they made that as its name. When it was still living in The Country, they were one of the loyal worshipper and avid follower of The Universe (until they found a copy of The Cursing of Chateau Castle which led to its journey of travelling to Vaugarde to find more-- in their defense, The Universe led them to the book so...)

When The Country was forgotten, they got hit with it the hardest as most of the stuff it knows are about The Country and The Universe. Basically, A LOT of their memories got forgotten so it tends to appear as absent-minded and pretty laid back. They lived in Bambouche (to feel closer to The Country, though now they don't even know Why they're living there now, it just knows that they prefer to live there than anywhere else).

[arolesbianism]

Thinks oh so hard abt the spiraling upwards clan founders, especially the birchclan founders. Silly lil kitties who's pasts are drenched in blood with the primary regret of not drawing it sooner

[boy-armageddon]

im like. The biggest digimon defender ever its fucked up that it also really sucks tbh

[hyah-lian]

I forgot theres like 3 schools that all let out where I had to go lol getting a forced break/snack time until all the busses and cars from them are gone lol

[jrueships]

send me a player and ill look up and talk abt their lunar zodiac!!!

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

how to ruin jugdral characters and make them into shitty modern tropes: have two teenage girls cat fight over their romantic feelings for a grown ass man and make them aggressive rivals