#it was a good feeling...to be percieved how i wanted to.
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bluinary · 6 months ago
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Silly vents about recent events
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spielzeugkaiser · 2 years ago
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hi, first off i really love your art. the h/c and warmth really hit me where i live and your illustration style is fantastic. lately i've been obsessed with the post where an unwell milek thinks geralt will leave him behind. was that an ingrained insecurity, assuming his super-witcher dad wouldn't have time for a sickly human kid?
[MASTERPOST] - Ahh, thank you for the ask! Yes, this scene.. I actually saw this a bit differently! It's not about Milek fearing Geralt will leave him behind, he actually wants him to. They need to find his Pa!! I think he often feels like a burden; Jaskier knows this, but Geralt isn't aware of this yet. Milek just wants to pull his weight, especially with Jaskier. A little sneak peak to their struggles regarding this:
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Meanwhile Jaskier continues to struggle with his omega status.
#jaskier#the witcher#geraskier lovechild#julian alfred pankratz#omegaverse#there are various things happening here! a. Milek never really had to fear that Jaskier would leave him he knows he never ever would#b. Jaskier said again and again that he'll always care for him and loves him and that he doesn't have to pull any weight at all#c. Jaskier actually became the parent that just wants his kid to be educated and study and learn#(maybe because he knows Milek won't be able to do hard labour but also because he knows what Milek really wants to do)#(filed under: things I haven't drawn yet but they had their big fallout because of oxenfurt and university - things to come in the future)#d. Milek has watched Jaskier working his ass off in various jobs that he didn't like#(and he thinks that prostitution is the worst but only because they didn't properly talk about it before)#e. Jaskier is struggling with how he is percieved - which I think was never that much on his mind when he was travelling with Geralt#being a carefree bard and giving everyone the middlefinger who had some wrong ideas about what he could do and what not#but this is definitely an AU in which he doesn't have a good relationship with his father and he can still hear him say he'll become#'an unbonded omega with a bastard child working on the streets' and I think sometimes it gets to him#(because Jaskier is king of hating his parents ever being right about him)#that Jaskier kind of wants to spare Milek and quietly hopes we won't become an omega - even if he feels bad about it - shall become plot#(one dayyyy)#anyway that was a very long rant about Mileks complex relationship with him feeling like a burden
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icewindandboringhorror · 2 years ago
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I know multiple of these are likely important to people, but I'm asking in terms of like - which of these do you tend to focus on the MOST, enjoy the most, that is most essential for you to actually care about the media, etc.?
(For example: someone finding "Relatability" most important would likely not enjoy a show much if they have trouble empathizing with the characters/relating to it, even if it were good otherwise. Or, someone might be able to overlook bad acting and ugly costumes, as long as the Character Dynamics are fun to them, because they value that more than Aesthetics- while for others, bad costumes would be a dealbreaker.)
Also feel free to reblog and explain your answer or more information in the tags- I've always been curious about people's relationships to media, how they conceptualize it/what they get out of it, how some people value some parts more than others, how that informs their overall taste and genres they may be more inclined towards, etc. :0c
#I was having a conversation with a friend about our favorite type of media and they said the reason they DON'T like historical or fantasy#media or etc. is because they can't imagine themselves being in those situations like it's too detached from anything that they can relate#to personally. they put themselves in the shoes of the characters and apparently like feel emotions while watching stuff and actually#get into the way the characters are feeling so they kind of judge how 'good' or 'bad' a show's writing/setting/etc. are by how it makes#them feel and if they think the characters reacted realistically based on what they were feeling in the moment/what in their head they#would be feeling if they were in the postion of the character. SO apparently the distance of it being in an unrelatable setting or too#detached from our reality makes it harder for them to relate to and less able to really engage with it on that level. WHEREAS I watch#things exclusively in a very like.. detached way?? I'm INTERESTED.. it's like im intellectually analyzing everyhting that's happening and#can be intrigued by events but it's not in an emotional way? More of like a distant 'intellectual curiosity'. Maybe the premise or the#aesthetics or something about it has piqued an interest for me to observe it. to see what it's like or how it plays out. how the idea#is executed or etc. But like.. I cannot remember EVER really relating to any character or situation or projecting onto a character#or having those sorts of feelings or investment in it. That is just not a central part of why/how I watch things or what I care about#BUT after this I was thinking maybe this is my disconnect? I do not seem to conceptualize media the way some other people do and I often#walk away with an entirely different take on things. etc. So I wonder if maybe it's part of how everyone values different things probably?#maybe I literally just watch stuff and percieve it from a different frame of mind that others. More of a like detached curiosity#vaguely bemused analysis mode. Instead of a 'I am deeply emotionally invested in this and am feeling for all the characters' mode#And also I bet people who care more about plot/story are also the people who mind spoilers. Whereas for me I literally seek out spoilers#intentionally because that element of 'suprise ooh what will happen next!' is not central at all to my enjoyment. I could know literally#everything that will happen and still can find it interesting to observe - since for me#that's not the point. I'd rather know the ending so I can determine whether I want to invest the time in it in the first place. etc.#ANYWAY!! If I had to choose - I would say I'm usually heavily focused on world details and aesthetics. With only a slight preference#towards characters individually being interesting. Group dynamics can sometimes be okay but I get tired of everything being about relations#hips and romance - especially when sometimes it seems to be like. people who could not stand on their own as a character/are fundamentally#boring otherwise lol. I would watch a series of just one guy locked in a closet talking to himself as long as he was interesting and saying#things that were amusing or notable for some reason lol. I actually tend to dislike plot because most 'plot heavy' things like action focus#ed shows ALWAYS feel to me like they're moving so fast just to get from one thing to another that I'm not getting enough details. Part of#why I tend to not like movies. the time limit makes them too quick. I need a 95 hour expostion dump of the history of the entire world#and a series of 17 episodes straight where a guy is trapped in a room & the audience is just psychoanalyzing him. hghj.. Maybe I find all#characters annoying/unrelatable bc people w my personality type make bad characters/are not often represented (or are done BADLY). so then#I'm just picking 'who is the LEAST insufferable? who could i study like a lab rat?' whilst my main focus is the worldbuilding&costumes lol
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chiptunecreature · 2 months ago
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My biggest goal with this mask is for it to look cute.
I'm actually really damn worried I'm gonna go through all this and look offputting. That's very much the opposite of what I want here.
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katyobsesses · 3 months ago
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It's 2:20am and despite my wants I didn't write anything. Did some edits though, which is kinda writing. But wow that stupid argument really leached all of my energy huh?
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kidfur · 1 year ago
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wolfs cofront was very short today (got cut off when mom came back home a few hours ago so i went and sat and talked with the family) but it was a good one i think, he was very happy to see my mutuals follow his blog and say nice things to him :] thats been like, his First front in a very very long time that was good and truly happy for him, so that makes me really happy
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littlegalerion · 1 year ago
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The Fandom: *making Dark Urges that look like they come from a 90's anime that tried to compete with Sailor Moon but edgy*
Me: *making ripped Dragonborn Dark Urges that just want to adopt the whole camp as their family but would chew glass before admitting it*
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delilaahbards · 2 years ago
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im tired of having a body
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phagodyke · 6 months ago
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I SEE PEOPLE ON THE FLOOR SLIDE INTO THE SEA CANT STAY HERE ANYMORE WE'RE TURNING INTO FIENDS IF I STAY HERE TROUBLE WILL FIND ME IF I STAY HERE ILL NEVER LEAVE..... ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
#i hope they play sea of love on tour its growing on me. this whole album has rly grown on me this year i used to be on the fence abt it#blaring the national loudly so i can think abt someone elses fears instead of my own... save me matt berninger#just had a little ripple in the ol mental illness and suddenly got rly scared for no reason abt triggering myself#its bc i was talking earlier abt how i find it easier to socialise w strangers than friends when im struggling mentally#bc i feel like i have so much to lose if i fuck up w ppl i care abt. and also when i care abt ppl it gives them the ability to hurt me#bc i cant get rsd triggered around strangers. their rejection has no bite bc idc what they think or if they like me etc#but when i care abt ppl a lot. being rejected by or percieving rejection from them is like. worldshatteringly bad#specifically feeling unwanted/unloved the approval/criticism stuff doesnt affect me as strongly#and it can be so unpredictable like ik its not rational. so being around them becomes incredibly high stakes for me which makes me so sad#bc like. if im having a bad time all i want is to not be alone and to feel supported and cared abt but i deny myself that always#ah and im just scared bc its rly hard to come back after a few weeks like that. like yeah im feeling much much better and more stable#but im still a little fragile so my guard is still up. itll take a while before i stop reflexively thinking ppl are lying to me#its a fake it til u make it thing tho ik i need to spend time w them again even if some distant part of me is trying to remind me they#dont care and im everyones least favourite and will forever be on the outside like okay who gives a fuck. i care abt them and want to#be around them and that should be enough for me but auruururuugh. one million prickly needles in my brain#its all good its part of the recovery process ive done this before 10000 times itll be fine. and they do care#and i just need to keep reminding myself that until i trust its real again. oh the national we really in jt now#its okayyyy its not that deep im just very tired. wobble over im going to BED#gn everyone <3#.diaries
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dandy-lad · 8 months ago
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#i need to be away from here#gott i just...#im autistic right just fyi#and my mum does not treat me as if i were#like she has neurotypical standards for me which i have to meet otherwise there will be Bad Consequences#and this is killing me bc im not neurotypical#the only way she'll treat me as autistic is if i get officially diagnosed#which i kinda want but also dont want#and its just. she's. gott my relationship with her is so complicated but shes caused me so much hurt and trauma and pain and#thats what im feeling right now. that.#i should get a diagnosis for me not for her#but i dont think i can survive in this environment for much longer#i told my dad i might try get diagnosed (havent talked to him about autism before) n he was like “okay”#pretty much verbatim#which is realistically the best response i couldve had#then he went on a rant about how autism “didnt exist” in the past and how its caused by vaccines#and this drug which apparently helps with autism and when i said No im not doing that i dont want to be “cured” this is a thing that#shouldnt be cured he was like ??? then whyd you want a diagnosis#hhhh but that i can deal with. after 4 years of being subjected to his and my mums conspiracy theory bullshit i can put up with it#at first it really stressed me out but i can cope with it now and come up with well thought out and factual grounded counter arguments#n i told my mum that dads fine with me getting a diagnosis n then i asked her if when i get one she'll treat me as if i were autistic#and she laughed and was like wait until you get one#like she doesn’t think i am which shows how Fucking Little she knows about me and how much i have to hide from her#because shes always shouted at me for Every Autistic Trait i display#im never fucking good enough for her#she treats me and percieves of me as if im neurotypical and Im Not#i remember once (after something happened) i heard her shout “WHY CANT I HAVE FUCKING NORMAL CHILDREN” or something like that#that sticks with you.#that shit hurts and sticks with you#who gave this woman two queer autistic mentally ill children to raise who's fucking plan was that
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sweetlady555 · 3 months ago
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QUICK SYNASTRY OBSERVATIONS^_^
Venus 1H Synastry is nooo joke aside from the strong very obvious chemistry and attraction, if you or them identify as straight yall could literally turn gay for each other 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🤣
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Moon 1H Synastry is NAWTTT for the avoidants 😔!!! House person could really depend on moon person for validation and theres so much hidden things in this relationship like secrets and resentment </3 this could depend on the entire chart though!!! the good cute side though is that you both could lowkey have feelings for each but never telling each other because you both just know…
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Mars 1H Synastry is lowkey so attractive like aside from the strong physical attraction, mars will literally do anything to please or meet house persons needs or desires 😭 i told this guy who had his mars in my 1h that i really liked his paintings and if he could make one for me and that boy had his gloves and canvas out the next hour😭🤣
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Mars 8H Synastry not gonna lie i know some of yall be loving mars in the 8h synastry but this synastry placement irked me ouwwttttt overtime😭 as house person in this situation mars person was FEINING for me he was a real freakazoid like the freakiest of them all he was basically FERAL and i was chill with it for a few months but it seemed like thats all he wanted to do and its like can we just talk tonight❤️? Mars will not understand this because theyll percieve almost anything house person does as provocative and sexually enticing but this could go for both of you guys so idk🥴
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Pluto 7H Synastry is cute at first because pluto will be so infatuated and interested in house person, youll notice pluto person will be the first to look at your stories without even following you sometimes and its like aw they must rly like me imma let them be :) but behind the scenes theyre checking your social media almost 24/7 looking at all your interactions online and probably will lowkey start stalking all of ur friends too 😭 the pluto person will do this without house person knowing (if theyre sneaky enough) feeling the need to anticipate the house persons actions or feelings … “i just wanna talk and conversate cause I usually just stalk and yk masturbate and I finally got the courage to ask you on a date so if you say yes, let the future fall into place, cunt” (she by tyler the creator resembling pluto 7h synastry👀👁️)
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North Node 2H Synastry is lowkey cute in a way bc this is a “i gotta get rich” after looking at house person once😭! north node will literally see house person as this rare beautiful diamond that they wont wanna lose and they will let house person know about this too! but this is just the good side of this placement bc this could also lead to self worth issues feeling like u guys arent worth each other leading to insecurities showing out in this relationship🤬
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Uranus 10H Synastry is lowkey a shocker to house person from my experience when it came to a certain career path, in my case fashion, uranus really changed my perception on it 😭 showing me the true reality of the fashion world and its like uhhh idk if i wanna do this anymore☺️! but at the same time uranus person could really be inspiring to house person because of how unconventional and unique they are! i also noticed uranus person could really influence house person to be unconventional and unique aswell! house person could go thru a lot of sudden changes with uranus person when it comes to their career and how they end up being percieved in person or online if this relationship ends up being public.
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Sun 2H Synastry is nice to have with someone because sun person will motivate house person to improve in any area of their life they will be on you too (for good obviously)😖😩 Sun person will wanna see house person thrive financially and just in general giving house person opportunities for this. There is potential jealousy on both sides mostly house person because of achievements, wealth and values literally can be anything 😣
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chrolloluvr · 9 months ago
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💸 Ways Toxic!Mammon takes over your life as your controlling, doting boyfriend (pt.1?) 💸
Note: Female!Reader, AFAB (Whoever came up w/ voxtok shout out to you!!!), this also takes place before Fizz quit. Also not proofread!
Warnings: semi nsfw, cussing, manipulation, slut shaming, killing, dominance, toxic relationship goals!
Social media. As we all are aware, he has a huge influence online. He has millions and even billion of fans, which he can exploit and persuade very easily. He controls your accounts, people you follow, the things you post (if he even lets you post at all), etc. He controls all of your comments, and filters them. One time, your best friend had left a comment that said, "Damn girl, looking fine ASF", And he was fuming. He forbid you from ever seeing that 'friend' ever again.
You most likely have to make a secret account that you post on. And its very popular. It may consist of you talking about Mammons icks, dancing videos with him (you convinced him, because you told them they were privated.), which all most likely get millions of views. But lets hope Mammon does not find it, or else he will not be happy with you.
How you two as a couple are perceived. He cares alot about his public image. So he will pay out media outlets and news stations to percieve you, himself and your relationship in a good light. So lets say Mammon is getting "cancelled", (he never in a million years actually would, too many people look up to him and adore him.) for bringing supposed groupies backstage after an event he is hosting. Even if he actually did, he would pay the media huuuge amounts of money to get himself out of trouble. Same goes for you. Your poor choices reflect onto him as well, since you two are a very public couple.
Like I have said before in previous posts, you two are definitely the most watched, reported and popular couple in Hell. Sinners and native demons admire the dynamic between you two. So lets say you lash out at a fan for getting their camera too close to you? And then that fan posts footage on Voxtok or Sinstagram, you may get some backlash.
Lets be honest, Mammon probably wont jump to defend you unless it involves him in some way. If it does not involve him, he will block some people by logging into your account, (because he knows all of your passwords), but nothing more.
The clothes you wear. He buys you your clothes, so in his mind, he has every right to choose what goes on your body. If he sees you wearing something revealing, he will tell you 'you look like a slut babe. Where are you going, the fuckin' strip club?' He says shit like that even if your showing an inch of stomach. He for the most part wants you to wear things he chooses. He prefers if you two are matching all the time, but if you are just going out to get groceries, he likes when you wear oversized sweatshirts/hoodies, with leggings. I know its an oddly specific combo, but he thinks it doesn't show off any of your supple skin, and you look so appealing. Especially if its a brand Mammon owns. Mans will go feral. I feel like every time you leave the house with or without him, he will be sitting on the couch, saying 'C'mon, you know the drill cutie. show daddy what your gonna wear, yeah?'
He loves it when he sees you in a natural, underdressed state alone at home. His by far most treasured thing he likes to see on you, is you either in your bra and matching panties, or you in an oversized t shirt and panties with no bra. He especially likes those really dainty, "girly" colors and patterns. He likes seeing you dress feminine.
Calling him daddy. Yes you heard me. He has a huge power influx, and having you call him that fuels the fire in his ego. If its the morning, and you yawn and stretch out a tired, 'good mornin' daddy', he is hard. And this isn't even a fully sexual thing for him, since he isnt all that sexual extremely often. He just loves being called daddy. But if it were somebody else calling him that, they would get the death stare and an upset Mammon. But with you, he likes dominating you. So call him daddy. It will get him in a good mood, and If you want something from him? A daddy or two wont hurt.
Who you talk to. Once you two are together, he with subtly cut people out of your life that he thinks are a threat to your relationship. He will try to cut off any of your male friends or if you had any, your ex's. This sneaky man will probably send photos of you giving him head that he took without your permission. And he will never tell you he did that. Anyways, once he gets rid of all of these people, he will convince you that 'ohhh, princess, c'mon dont get your panties in a twist. Maybe they are just on vacation, you dont gotta act like a little whiny bitch-'. And by vacation, he means threatened, or killed.
He does not want you being influenced by anybody but himself. And especially not by any men. One of his many influx of issues is his jealousy/possession, (which I will get into on another post.) SO really the only other person besides himself that you can talk to are people he has met, and are proven to him to not uphold any power against him.
Meaning he will never let you meet Asmodeus. He is a horrible influence in his mind, and he does not was Ozzie to make you aware of his manipulation tactics. He may let you meet Beelz or Lucifer, but never Ozzie. He is the embodiment of lust, which is like toxic waste for your mind.
You bank account. If you need him to send funds, he will as long as you give him a little kiss on the cheek. But if you have been a bad girl, you might need to work for his money. If he is feeling particularly nice today, he will text you, sending a photo of the transfered funds he sent you, reading 25k+ sent. He loathes in the 'oh no you didn't have to Mamm' he gets from you, or the 'I feel bad, send it back!' Because in reality, he does not like to spend his money on anything useless. And to him, you aren't useless. So sharing some of his "hard earned" cash truly shows how he trusts and believes you wont go out on a limb for him.
And plus, now that your with him, he has taken all of your funds. He wont tell you that, even thought it didn't matter, considering how little you had compared to his trillion dollar net worth. So if you ever do stupidly decide to leave him, you wont be able to.
Puts a tracker on you, or has his goons follow you. This is another thing you are blissfully unaware of. He has an unreleased app on his phone, where he can see wherever you are at all times. While you were sleeping in your shared bedroom, he would put a tracker chip deep into you ear. So that he doesn't have to worry about his most prized possession running away when he isn't around. Or if he cant physically see you and he wants to? He has some loan sharks or his bodyguards follow you silently. I think awhile back, Mammon developed "Mammons Super Secret Spy Glasses", a product made for naive kids, and was released to the masses. But that transformed into an opportunity to exploit his goons into using them to spy on you. Do they want to creepily follow you? No. But can they refuse. Absolutely not. Nobody can refuse Mammon.
If somebody does take you somewhere, he will have his goons kill them, but come to the location and make it look like he killed them for your sake.
Controls where you can and cant go. He 100% does this. He wouldn't even let you in the vicinity of any kind of smoke shop, strip club, etc. He wants you to stay innocent, and naive for him. Meaning he will never let you in the lust ring, which alludes to the fact that him and Ozzie... aren't on the best terms per say. But will let you in any other ring under severe supervision. He cant have you doing any stupid shit to mess with his public image.
He wont even let you roam around in his own ring, because he is well aware of how dangerous it has become. He doesn't want his pretty little thing being kidnapped by some dirty, greasy men on the streets. But if you really want to go somewhere, he will let you go near there, but he will cover your eyes with his top two hands, and guide your waist with his bottom pair of hands somewhere he deems safe.
I also think he would follow you to the bathroom, and he would definitely offer to (does anyways) wipe for you.
How you act. Once you two are together, you will learn things the Mammon way. He will teach you how to become his esteemed future wife, and soon you might even have his kids (when he feels like babytrapping you, but that might be a later work.) He will teach you his version of manners, such as how to sit properly on his lap, teaching you how to french kiss (Which he assumes is your first time kissing somebody), How to sit still properly on his large cock, How to rock your hips just right-
He just wants you to be prepared for him. If he comes home at night, he expects the usual kiss on the cheek, asking him how his day was, and then the finale, which consists of your naked body and your legs being spread wider than his shit eating grin. He just wants to be ready to blow your back out, not having to worry about wasting time.
In the morning, he wants his breakfast served by none other than his obedient little princess. Then, he wants you to personally brush and floss his teeth. Then, he wants you to pick his outfit. (you will never truly get a say, he just wants to know from your perspective what makes him sexier.) And finally, the finishing act, holding your hair tightly into a makeshift ponytail, while he bobs your head up and down his cock.
Sexually frustrating you. After a while, you will miss his sexual touches. You will begin to crave them, as you will find yourself wanting him more and more. He is just so good at eating your pussy, and making you feel like your on cloud 9.
So don't be suprised if you find yourself humping his leg, as he bounces his thigh up and down to try and overstimulate you.
Makes you come to his shows. He will drag you to them. He does not care how tired you are, you will be there and sit pretty. He will let you in for free, but if you want a piece of merchandise, or some popcorn, he will make you pay. (even though its his money). When you first start dating, that is the case. But now that you two are officially an item? You sit up on the terrace with him in his webs. He has two of his left side arms wrapped around you, while he forces you to hand feed him.
And sometimes people catcall you from up above. One time, a couple dudes got drunk of Beelzejuice, and started berading you. By asking you to flash a peek of your tits, and show a little pussy. You were highly offended, but Mammon was not happy.
Those guys ended up in the E.R., but they would have died if it weren't for your expertise in calming Mammons temper. After that little incident, Mammon had later that day taken your ass on a one way ticket to pound town. So you can thank those guys, I guess...
Anyways, what if you need to use the bathroom during a show? He pauses the entire thing, because he wants you to watch how good of a planner and mastermind he is at pageants. Will literally wait outside of the bathroom door for you, and checks his watch if your taking "too long".
But anyways, he will also try to get you and Fizzarolli to be friends, since both of you are basically brainwashed by him.
The things you buy. He will not ever let you buy any cheap shit. Its a bad look on his behalf. So every time you two go out, you have to ask him if you can get something. If he deems it as "not doing anything for your look", he will make you put it back. And this goes for everything. Online orders, Voxtok shop (tiktok shop), etc. It always has to be approved by him.
Also, he will never let you buy any sex toys. He thinks his fingers, tongue and dick are more than plenty. If you ask him for any sex toys, he will call you an ungrateful little whore. So its best if you don't ask, unless you want Mammons over the top mumbling and grumbling.
Emotionally manipulating you. He will do this all the time. If he ever does something wrong, he will never admit to it. He will either never glaze over it, or will turn it on you somehow. It will start with his angry grunting, huffing, and puffing. If you ever ask him if he is ok, he will literally whip his head towards you and give you the most deadly glare you will ever see. His Aussie accent will come out very abruptly when he's mad.
Throw the worlds biggest temper tantrums. Sometimes you think hes a baby in an adult mans body. Some of his have gone on for days on end. He will pull every trick in the book. Whining and fake crying are things he has tried to use on you.
If he is really ruffled up, he will start yelling at you for no reason whatsoever. He just yells a bunch of belligerent bullshit, and does not give any reason why. Truly, the best thing to do to calm him down is spread your legs nice and wide, and let him lap at your cunt for hours. If he is 'borderline dangerous' mad, he will refuse to talk to you for a couple days. Even if you try, he wont budge. Deep down, he cares for you. And he knows that if he gives in, he might hurt you.
If he wants something from you, he will flash his infamous puppy dog eyes. (Bottom photo below), But if he is annoyed with you, he will make the deadly glare (Top photo below)
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So, just try your best to keep him calm and happy. Even if that is through means you don think are necessary 💚
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astroismypassion · 1 year ago
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Astrology observations💗💗💗
Credit goes to @astroismypassion
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💗Gemini Juno people often have "a philosopher" partner. Someone who puts a lot of effort in their words, plans, but doesn't put much effort into action, making things happen. They could get frustrated how much and for how long their partner talks and preaches.
💗Libra Juno or Juno in the 7th house often points to an indecisive spouse or partner. The native is then the one making decisions where to eat or which film to watch.
💗If you have Fama in Libra, at a Libra degree (7, 19) you might be part of a well-known power couple at some point in your life. Or you could be known as "the person who dated...". Downside to this placement though, is that you might encounter that people often ask you about an ex partner of yours. They could ask questions about that person even years after you've been separated. With this placement and also with Fama in the 7th house, you might have a well-liked, well-known partner, spouse, yet the thing here is that people could also be in a partnership with you for fame that you bring. Partners could use you for attention, especially if paired with Leo Lilith that you might have in your Natal chart. So it goes vice versa.
💗Psyche (16) also talks about soulmate connections and when you feel balanced in love and beauty. And for example if you have Psyche in Virgo and you feel butterflies around your romantic interest or your nervous system is activated and working overtime girlll, this might not be a soulmate crush that you're talking to. Virgo Psyche are so sensitive and in tune with their bodies that you only feel balanced and calm around people who don't activate your nervous system negatively.
💗Check your Fama placement to see who can bring you popularity, being well-known or even get famous. If you have Taurus Fama, you need to position yourself around Taurus Sun, Moon, Rising and Venus people to get more well-known. Fame could be brought to you by people with these placements.
💗Capricorn Lilith often attract needy, clingy people who want to "break through" their more stoic, reliable, consistent nature. Weirdly, I often notice they attract a lot of Cancer Mars, Aries Moon people too, like it's a pattern.
💗When Juno is located in the 7th house these natives wish for connections that would be life long.
💗I noticed Capricorn Juno often had a bad boy/bad girl persona in the public at some point in life. Or had player vibe to them, but this is only how public percieved them. So they try to stick to a long-term partnership that is long overdue just because having a long-term partner makes them look good in the public eye and helps them get rid of "player" vibe that they might give off, even if it's not even true.
💗Capricorn, Aquarius North Node people might dislike or be against patriarchy.
💗Sagittarius Ascendants really do get the best of the both worlds. With Gemini Descendant they are able to hang with the posh, more privileged people or less. They are accepted by both. Because they can blend in and easily dress, speak like that particular group.
💗You might spend more time outside, socializing, connecting with friends and spending time in social gatherings, settings when Moon is transiting your northern hemisphere of your Natal chart, so when it goes through 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th, 11th and 12th house. And you might spend a lot of time in your home, inside, more isolated, spending time on your own when Moon is transiting your 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th and 6th house, the southern hemisphere of your Natal chart.
💗 Pisces Part of Fortune receives help from others when they need it the most and when they least expect it.
💗 Sagittarius Part of Fortune in the 4th house ends up living in a huge house.
💗 Sagittarius Part of Fortune often has a very mentally stimulating job, most of their work is cerebral, the type to do the thinking for a job. They have better chance finding work abroad, via distant media or they get better money through foreign people than in their own native country.
Credit goes to @astroismypassion
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thicctails · 3 months ago
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I C R A V E more gbc au stuff: particularly with Bill: were the twins aware of Bill before gravity falls? what do they tell the twins about bill once they get there? how does bill and his parents even go about reconnecting?? I want to know more about the direct aftermath of the reunion. It's not hard to piece together Bill and Fords relationship from the journals: did they read into it the wrong direction or smth? Like Bill fucking traumatized Ford: Euclid and Scalene's estranged long lost son fucking severly traumatized and manipulated a realtive of their adoptive kids: there's gotta be more complex feelings there? Does Bill blame them for his medical trauma? do Scalene and Euclid regret that? did they have differing opinions on it back when? also like, now Bill is legit insane: what with him having been percieved insane or a ticking time bomb of insanity before how do they feel about that? do they have differeing opinions?????
FNSKJDFNSDKJ DSI C R A V E MORE FERERJSNJKFDNFKE
PLEASE FEED MEEEEE
Ask and ye shall r e c e i v e
Both Scalene and Euclid were under the impression that Bill died when Euclidea inevitably collapsed in on itself. They told Dipper and Mabel that they had a child, but never went into much detail, as it hurt too much to talk about.
(You can imagine how fucking gutted they were when they saw images of him all around the Shack. Journal 3 was just a big fat gob of salt in their open wounds)
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Reconnecting for them is like a healing an infected wound: you have to cut out the rot, grit your teeth for the burn of cleaning it out, work to keep the infection away, and accept the fact that there will be a scar.
Bill is so fundamentally broken and mentally unwell that not even the Axolotl can really fix him. The best he can do is help Bill get to a point where he can begin again in a different form. But getting to that point is the real trouble. It's rotten work, a path laden with pain and suffering and hurt feelings, but it's the only option worth fighting for.
Scalene and Euclid feel immense guilt for the mistakes they made raising Bill. They allowed themselves to be pressured into trying to make their gifted son normal, and everyone they ever loved and then some ended up paying the price. Bill may have started the fire, but their misguided good intentions handed him the match.
Bill himself is a whirlwind of emotions. He is unexplainably relieved that his parents are alive, but that also means that he can no longer possess a false bravado and pretend he intentionally slaughtered his entire dimension. His past is red and blue and in his face, and the voices have only gotten louder since he saw his mother's heartbroken face. Not only that, but they have, in his eye, replaced him with two of the people destined to destroy him! They look at Shooting Star and Pinetree with all the fondness they used to look at him with, and it makes his insides burn.
They also are constantly setting off each other's triggers, like some kind of sick oroborus of trauma. Bill's powers often manifest as pyrokinesis, which isn't great when your parents are still living with the horrific injuries caused by said fire. On the other side of the coin, Euclid has been soothing the twins with gentle TV static since they were little, since his preferred method of manifestation is screen-based technology, (whereas Scalene prefers music and books) which has caused Bill to spiral into a violent panic attack more than once.
As for Ford... well, neither Cipher parent is fond of him, as i've stated, but while they don't know the entire story of how his and Bill's time together was, they know enough to know that it ended in violence and misery, and they are not so heartless that they do not feel pity for the man and disgust towards their son's actions. They make it very clear to their eldest, when they can stand to speak to each other, that he is to never possess another member of the Pines family.
He only breaks that promise once, though it was for a good reason. Gideon needed a good beat down, and Pine Tree was too hurt to make that jump without help.
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bestlilithian · 5 months ago
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Home is the first grave.
[ Moon-Pluto, Pluto in 4th house culture ]
tw for various mentions of abuse and death as well as mental problems, sh and su!cide, also needles (dont ask)
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- may have experienced a lot of death in thr family or in the close neighborhood
- feel more connected to your dead relatives than your alive ones
- there mightve been a death in your family before you were born
- feeling peacful in graveyards
- may have fantasized about death/su!cide, might percieve death as something that brings peace (hence the fantasies, because really all you ever wanted was peace)
- wanting peace but knowing you cannot have it because of your nature; feeling like theres just something in your blood in your soul that is uncontrollable and overwhelming
- your household was always a house , never a home
- being raised by very old people, enjoying the presence of much older wiser people (like, literal elders not hot teachers 💀)
- enduring literal psychological warfare in your home (usual your mother waged war on you as soon as you were old enough to form a coherent critical thought)
- "I hate you, dont leave me" (might be the attitude of your mother towards you, or yours towards others you love)
- Your mother always knew when you were lying or hiding something. Especially if she had a scorpio moon or moon/pluto aspects herself. You grew up extremely fearful of her.
- moon pluto culture is hearing your mother talk lovingly about her own fucked up mother, she never accepted the severity of her own abuse, until of course she needs to use it in an argument against you "Im a great mother, my mother was so much worse"(basically Im good because I abuse you differently than I was abused 😍 same shit different package)
- not liking motherly women or women who try to be mother figures to you, feeling uncomofortable around them; youre uncomfortable with how much you crave motherly love and people who can provide you that become threats because of the power they could have over you if you opened up
- being betrayed by the women in your life, especially those who were much older and supposed to take care of you (teachers, tutors, family members, therapists, babysitters..)
- toxic female friends 😁🔫 bonus : really close but toxic female friendships in youth that feel like death when you end them even though you know it was necessary
- feeling pain so deeply you think you will drop dead or have a heart attack. (When I was little and depressed I wrote in a diary of mine "My body will kill me before I get to")
more on this : when you start crying because of immense emotional pain and suddenly your heart is burning and beating too fast and youre getting light headed and throwing up , and suddenly youre not crying because of the pain, youre crying because youre afraid youre about to have a heart attack and die
- fearing that your mother will k word herself or you if you try to leave her (harsh aspects mostly)
- learning what emotional violence is very early, how to wield it and defend against it
- turning your emotions off completely for a while and then having a nervous breakdown when it all rushes back
- reading up on psychology, psychiatry and works of psychotherapists so you can heal and never become your mother
- wanting to put a bullet in your head when you notice yourself thinking or behaving like your mother
- going home after you spent time somewhere where you felt good and safe is extremely dreadful
- your mother doesnt see you as a human being (harsh aspects especially), and may take you a while to figure this out
- extremely controlling behavior from your mother or other caretakers (for example my mother threatened to send people to stalk me when I moved to a diff city, to 'make sure Im not doing something bad')
- deeply grieving the loss of your childhood and your inner child
- almost choking while crying or passing out
- feeling like youre a horrible person and dont deserve your family [because youre in deep denial and are seeing the flaws of your family as your own and denying your own trauma]
- learning about sex early on, perhaps early sexual obsession but not like promiscuity more like craving for deep intimacy (also you were probably deeply ashamed of it)
- not telling your family (esp mother) anything because they will ruin it for you
- being accused of being a psychopath, uncaring, selfish for "not loving your family enough"
- not knowing how to feel about the members of your family that played a more passive role in your life because they didnt do anything wrong but they didnt do anything right either; surely they knew , why didnt they stop it? why didnt they save you? (Im talking about adults obviously)
- your parents mightve been much older when you were born, you might have siblings much older than you
- doing anything to avoid your intense emotions and then when you break down and feel everything you realize how freeing it is and how comfortable you actually are with the intensity
- gutteral reactions to songs you deeply relate to (I hear 10 seconds of 'Slipping through my fingers' and I am dead on the floor)
- being afraid of your mother or just of your family in general
- you could probably kill someone with your bare hands if you were angry and hurt enough
- scary as fuck when you actually show your anger
- if you cry in the midst of a fight (verbal or physical) ... someone tell that person to make peace w God . cause thats you crying because of what youre about to do, because thats you loosing the last crumb of humanity you had for them and that can only end one way.
- you would probably kill for your loved ones
- your friends feel like you would help them hide a body (and you probably would)
- recognizing people by footsteps and breathing patterns (especially family members)
- deep deep eyes, people can see war and death them, and they feel like you see their pain too (because you do)
- reading people easily
- enjoying? cruelty (to yourself or others), like getting impulses to do something that would cause you or someone else that ugly feeling of facing cruelty
- finding comfort in the cold and the dark
- insane nightmares since youth, growing to be used to them
- its very hard to shock you
- you know when someones lying
- you might dread certain types of pain yet feel pleasure from them (personally I hate having my blood taken for a test but then I end up immensely enjoying the feeling of a needle pricking my skin and going deep into my vein)
- feeling the need to "kill" some your habits; most likely to drop things cold turkey and be extremely strict in breaking bad habits
- might enjoy really dark, emotionally and morally complex media
- immediately recognizing other moon pluto people and trauma bonding
- extremely good pain endurance. not necessarily tolerance , but endurance. you feel the pain and do it anyway.
- might not react to physical pain at all from a young age
- fantasies about drowning or slipping away peacfully
- either loving deep waters or hating them
- randomly breaking down in the middle of the day because of some pain you buried 5 years ago
- might self harm a lot because of your complex relationship w pain, it genuinely helps sometimes
- home feels like literal prison
- seeing the value in suffering, you might reject the idea that suffering is bad and should be avoided and prevented at all costs
- you might become religious as you mature (but usually in your own way, not necessarily according to tradition)
- forced to eat or denied food in your home, this mightve fucked up your relationship with food
And lastly, I need you to engrave this in yourself :
Wrong love is not love.
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valtsv · 4 months ago
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Hey feel free to ignore
I just wanted to know that if you percieve pain as a good feeling is it its own kind of feeling or is it similar to joy or something entirely else?
Yet again if this is too personal feel free to ignore i just dont really know how to imagine the feeling even tho it is kind of fascinating
the best succinct description i can come up with is "thrilling". it wakes me up and makes me feel more alive. like applying an electric current to my nerve endings.
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