#thats what im feeling right now. that.
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dandy-lad · 9 months ago
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#i need to be away from here#gott i just...#im autistic right just fyi#and my mum does not treat me as if i were#like she has neurotypical standards for me which i have to meet otherwise there will be Bad Consequences#and this is killing me bc im not neurotypical#the only way she'll treat me as autistic is if i get officially diagnosed#which i kinda want but also dont want#and its just. she's. gott my relationship with her is so complicated but shes caused me so much hurt and trauma and pain and#thats what im feeling right now. that.#i should get a diagnosis for me not for her#but i dont think i can survive in this environment for much longer#i told my dad i might try get diagnosed (havent talked to him about autism before) n he was like “okay”#pretty much verbatim#which is realistically the best response i couldve had#then he went on a rant about how autism “didnt exist” in the past and how its caused by vaccines#and this drug which apparently helps with autism and when i said No im not doing that i dont want to be “cured” this is a thing that#shouldnt be cured he was like ??? then whyd you want a diagnosis#hhhh but that i can deal with. after 4 years of being subjected to his and my mums conspiracy theory bullshit i can put up with it#at first it really stressed me out but i can cope with it now and come up with well thought out and factual grounded counter arguments#n i told my mum that dads fine with me getting a diagnosis n then i asked her if when i get one she'll treat me as if i were autistic#and she laughed and was like wait until you get one#like she doesn’t think i am which shows how Fucking Little she knows about me and how much i have to hide from her#because shes always shouted at me for Every Autistic Trait i display#im never fucking good enough for her#she treats me and percieves of me as if im neurotypical and Im Not#i remember once (after something happened) i heard her shout “WHY CANT I HAVE FUCKING NORMAL CHILDREN” or something like that#that sticks with you.#that shit hurts and sticks with you#who gave this woman two queer autistic mentally ill children to raise who's fucking plan was that
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xxplastic-cubexx · 12 days ago
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personal happiness or what the fuck ever
bonus:
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#xmen#xmen comics#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#professor x#magneto#jeans here too but ssh#snap sketches#i havent posted anything in what feels like forever and i GUESS i have to remind people i do draw sometimes. whatever.#aka in my brain i have at LEAST a five-page doujin where this gets incredibly nsft but i dont have TIME for that these days do i#so for now we get just. these scribbles. ill be able to make something exemplary again someday i swear <- optimistic#i think im going to close my comms off for the rest of december once i get through the batch i have now#which ... doesnt sound hard since the amount i have will probably take me to the end of december anyway 💀#i just need everyone to believe me i have better visions for yaoifying issue 309 .... the opportunity is right there...#like wdym the dream sequence is gon end on a panel of erik's eyes as he reinforces the idea charles needs happiness like scott and jean's..#call up your ex. right now charles.#what got me peeved about this issue is i have no idea what color eriks outfit could be vjaeLVKEJARK its like.#is he wearing a lab coat over a suit .... i think thats the intention ... or maybe it is a trench coat....#idk shit for me to figure out if i ever get the time to explore this thing again#LIKE UGH IM SCREAMING i have Such Visions that i dont have time to execute and theyre killing me#maybe ill just write them down idfk <- trying to write fanfiction ends even worse for me than trying to draw#anyways. im gonna drive myself mad good night everyone#i have to go to a christmas party tomorrow night. later tonight. whatever.#BYE
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just-null · 3 months ago
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Do you ever do requests? If so, do you ever plan on drawing some Yandere with the Hantengu clones? :D hope you have a good day/night!!!
Mentioning an unfamiliar name
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yes!! I love yanderes.. and these guys.. these guys are such good material...... nods nods..
I'm not sure about requests..I assume you mean drawing requests? I suppose if it REALLY catches my interest enough, I'd do it, but it'd probably just be line art/sketches.
#null rot#yandere kny#yandere demon slayer#kny#kimetsu no yaiba#demon slayer#hantengu#hantengu clones#sekido#karaku#urogi#aizetsu#midori306#YOU ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER TO THE YANDERE QUESTION MY BELOVED CULT MEMBER#uwaa and i recently checked back on their designs.. THEY HAVE LONG SLANTED EARS DUDE WHAT THE FUCKKK THATS LIKE THE CUTEST EVER#i tend to shitpost and focus on the dere than the yan but thats my mistake!! im sorry cult members.. I'll need scarousal#when calling sekdio. he pretends to ignore you but you can tell he heard you when his ear twitches#He's flabbergasted that you met someone else to begin with. who let you go out without one of them?!#hes too shocked and angry to even properly get upset!!#Karaku loves everything you have to say. less so if its positive abt someone else. still listens tho. listening carefully for details..#he doesnt mind others eyeing you. youre perfect in his eyes. who wouldnt? still.. thats not gonna fly well.#Urogi loves when you seek him out but mentioning someone else... is bc you want to feed him right? ofc! you want to benefit him!#its cause hes your favorite! yeah! youre so sweet!!! ofc he'll get rid of someone for you both!!#Aizetsu's bashful. he feels put on the spot when calling him but hes always hoping you give him affection of some kind. always ready for yo#mentioning someone else was NOT what he wanted and now hes sad.. youre making him sad.. whats so important you had to bring that up?#The thought of anyone else makes him feel so exhausted already.. wont you comfort him instead? he needs you now.. atone for your mistakes#uwaa expressions.. uwaaa aizetsu releasing some of the tension in his brows when hes feeling upset towards you uWAA#i CANT RAMBLE ENOUGH IN THE TAGS SO WAIT FOR THE POST I HAVE IN THE BACK BURNER FROM SOMEONE ELSE WHO ASKED FOR SOMETHING SIMILAR!!!!!!!
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batcavescolony · 2 months ago
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I see a lot of people upset about William Kaplan being dead and no one mourning him cus Billy stole his body and I just don't see it that way. The kid in Wanda Vision is Billy Maximoff, The teenager at the Bar Mitzvah is William Kaplan, the Teen that got taken to the hospital after the wreck is neither and both Billy Maximoff and William Kaplan. That Teen went home with the abilities of Billy Maximoff, to the home of William Kaplan, with memories of neither and lived there for three years. He cares about Rebecca and Jeff, he lied to the to protect them from pain, they are his parents. He wants to find Tommy, he has magical powers, he wants to know who he is. All of these things are true. I wouldn't say William Kaplan is dead he just doesn't remember, like Agatha wasn't dead when he was Agnes, she just didn't remember.
#its fully possible the witches road will give Teen both his memories back cus thats the thing he's missing. making him not William Kaplan#and not Billy Maximoff but Billy Kaplan a mix of the two.#agatha all along#agatha harkness#billy kaplan#william kaplan#billy maximoff#and to all the people pissed that he isn't finding Wanda. womp womp this is about his brother and if you looked you would have seen that.#rumor has it Tommy will be in Vision Quest right? Tommy has to be set up somewhere! he doesn't have magic. and why would they bring back#THE SCARLETT WITCH in a marvel tv show? that's a huge moment they want that sucker for a movie.#marvel#jeff kaplan#rebecca kaplan#also for people up set e6 was billy focused.... yeah mcu projects have set ups for other projects.#even Moon Knight set up Wearwolf by knight. then She Hulk and spiderman had a set up for Daredevil. wandavision set up for Agatha All Along#and the Marvels. Mrs Marvel had a set up for The Marvels. thats kinda how the mcu works its a conected story#teen agatha all along#in the show it shows he doesn't actually remember tommy if he didn't he wouldn't have had to find Ralph. he was surprised wanda had twins#named billy and tommy and that one could read mind while the other was a speedster. all he knows about tommy is that he can feel him#and hes missing.#he probably doesn't know what tommy looks like or sounds like or acts all he know is he can feel him MIA and wants him back.#.........#im back. i also see people stiching that one scene with for lack of better term Teen looking in the mirror going I am William Kaplan and#taking it as Billy adjusting to the body hes in now. one even calling him the monster inhabiting Williams body. and i dont think that it.#he doesn't remember being Billy Maximoff OR William Kaplan. again calling him Teen. Teen is looking in the mirror at a body and face that is#completely alien to him because it is! he has amnesia. he's looking in a mirror with no idea who is looking at him not because hes Billy but#because its no one at that moment hes nothing. he has no idea who he is at all. all he know is thats his body his name is William and his#parents and worried and he know that cus he can read minds. thats it nothing else
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starry-bi-sky · 5 months ago
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more incorrect quotes for the stillborn danyal au - dpxdc
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Student: so like,, *gesturing to Plasmius* is he like,,, your dad or...?? Phantom: he would be if he wasn't such a BITCH Plasmius: excuse me Phantom: YOU HEARD ME
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Under the Bleachers: Danny and Dash smoking in solidarity Dash: Danny: Dash: do you have notes from Lancer's class today Danny: since when do I ever have notes from Lancer's class Danny: I can ask Tucker but only if you have notes from Abernathy's class Dash: deal
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Sam and Tucker: *making s'mores with Danny's lava hair* Danny, as Phantom: >:I Sam: you're just mad because you didn't think of it first Danny: yEAH
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Danny, freshly ghosted: .... Danny: well. at least i dont need to waste money on lighters anymore
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Tucker: with how long your hair gets we may just have to start calling you rapunzel Danny: don't you dare Sam: rapunzel, rapunzel, let down your lava hair Danny: NO
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Danny's hair tie breaks in the middle of a fight Danny: fuck Skulker: language child Danny, pushing lava bangs out of his face: fuck you! just for this im turning your suit into molten slag Skulker: waitholdonwecantALK--
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Danny: you know, by your logic Maddie is equally as guilty for abandoning you as Jack. She also never visited you while you were in the hospital. Vlad, had put his infatuation with Maddie aside but still kinda had feelings for her: Vlad: you're right Danny, not used to an adult agreeing with him: I-- huh, I am? Vlad: yes. If Dr. Walker had cared about me -- even if only as a friend, she would have tried to remain in contact with me. But she didn't. She is also as equally guilty for the accident that took your life too since she also failed to properly check over the portal for flaws and any improper wiring. Danny: wait- wait, i mean-- Vlad: this means only one thing Danny, bewildered: ??? Vlad, extinguishing all lingering feelings: I have to kill her too (somehow) Danny: nO.
#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc#dpxdc crossover#dpxdc au#dpxdc prompt#dpdc#stillborn? no still born au#stillborn danny#danyal al ghul au#danyal al ghul#flanderizing the vlad and danny dynamic just a little🕺 🕺 🕺 as a treat#parental vlad masters#my vlad masters could beat up your canon vlad masters#my vlad masters also wears a ribcage corset and is permanently cursed with BabyFaced 20 Year Oldness when he's plasmius#danny: hey so my foster mom also never talked to you when you were hospitalized tho | vlad: oh shit u right | danny: i am#vlad: she's also not blameless in your death either. | danny: uh oh | vlad (ultimately A Dad First): this means i have to kill her too#bc if phantom can be a permanent 14yo then plasmius is also a permanent college student and i think thats hilarious. he physically cannot#grow a goatee as plasmius. he can get all the facial hair he wants as vlad but not as a ghost. L to him. this only fuels his vendetta#SB Vlad: im gonna kill maddie | canon vlad: you WHAT#hc that maddie got her doctorate with her maiden name first and refuses to change it. jack and vlad both supported this decision in college#and still do. im taking Vlad's creepiness about maddie out back and shooting it in the kneecaps. boom gone now i can just make him Parental#vlad saw maddie try and shoot danny once and promptly did a 180 on his feelings.#vlad: ah well actually fuck you too now. you shot my kid | danny: NOT YOUR KID#i want everyone to know that i was listening to thunder bringer when i was making the vlad plasmius design and so that is now attributed to#him forever and ever. i curse him with the Zeus Boss Battle Theme Song
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arsenicflame · 1 month ago
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It's a time-honoured tradition- every time Sam comes across Izzy (and Ed) in their travels, he asks Izzy to marry him. And every time, Izzy turns him down.
At this point, Sam is asking more for the sake of it than any belief Izzy will ever say yes, a remnant of childhood dedication touched with 30 years of heartbreak and regret- though even now, a small part of him still holds out hope. Sam's promises have only got more extravagant over the years, from a job as his first mate, to a captaincy, a fleet at his command, a whole fucking island if that's what Izzy wants- but he knows it isn't though, not really. If Izzy was ever going to agree to marry him, to leave his life and go with Sam, it wouldn't be for anything Sam could offer him. Izzy never did care for flashy shows of wealth, for a ship or to be captain. The only thing that ever mattered to him was loyalty given, and loyalty shown in return. 
It all comes to a head after Stede left and came back, after Izzy lost a toe, lost his leg. Sam hasn't seen him since before things with Ed started to really slide off the rails, before stress permanently set into the lines of Izzy’s face. So, when he sees a dishevelled man with a hoof for a leg in a no-name port, he doesn't even consider the idea that he might know him. It's only when he turns towards him, and Sam catches a glance at those oh too familiar tattoos, he realises this is Izzy, his Izzy, that stands before him.
Knowing Izzy's discomfort with pity, he doesn't treat him any differently than he would in years gone by, positioning himself in Izzy's line of sight before approaching and sweeping him up into a bone crushing hug. 
“Israel-goddamn-Hands!” he exclaims, as Izzy grumbles back a begrudging “Samuel-fucking-Bellamy”, a tradition almost as old as their friendship itself. Izzy might not hug him back, but he can’t keep the corner of his mouth from twitching, just for a second.
(If Sam holds Izzy a little tighter and a little longer than usual, well. That's his business)
By the time Sam lets go, most of the crew has appeared in the town square, drawn in by the commotion. They may have given Izzy his leg and welcomed him as one of them, but still there’s an underlying tension, with nobody quite ready to set aside everything that happened before the Kraken. Seeing him cosying up to an unknown man sets everyone on edge, unsure whether to come to their first mate’s aid, or to assume that they've been betrayed once again.
When Ed sees that the yelling was Sam, his hand goes tense where it's held in Stede's. He knows the routine, has seen it more times than he can count, but as he watches them part he realises that this is the first time in a long time he's unsure of what Izzy's response will be.
Knowing that something’s different, knowing that Izzy's feeling vulnerable already, Sam doesn't go for the same flashy proposal he’s been giving for years. He doesn't promise Izzy the world, he doesn't cause a scene (or, any more of a scene than he already has, anyway). He looks at the fractured man in front of him, takes his face in his hands, and says the exact same thing to him he said when they were little more than boys. “Israel, I have to ask you. I know what you'll say, but I have to try. Come with me. Marry me and sail away with me. I'll keep you safe”
And Izzy… hesitates. He glances over at Ed, at Stede, and says to Sam “...We’re staying in port for a week. Ask me again then”
That's the moment Sam knows there is something deeply, horribly, wrong. He's not just looking at an Izzy who got seriously injured in a fight and is struggling to cope, this is something so much bigger than that- and that Ed has something to do with it. Izzy wouldn't even be considering leaving if he didn't. Whether it was negligence or something more sinister, Sam doesn't yet know, but he intends to find out.
#i feel like the little paragraph about the crew is real clunky and out of place but i wanted some kind of establishment of where those#dynamics are at. its important that the crew is something for izzy to consider in his decision; but also that their relationship isnt so#solid he would stay for them alone; yknow?#im sorta aiming for a s2e5 era but like. early in those themes. he cant be all sorted yet i need him to be struggling#anyway this is part of a much larger scenario in my head that im never ever doing anything with but i wrote THIS bit in a daze in like. jun#and i got thinking about it again and i think?? it holds its own as a 'hey think about THIS' snippet. idk you decide#youre welcome to interpret this as solo bellhands but in my head it Has morphed into sam/izzy/ed/stede#because i cant not put edizzy in things any more. izzy has two hands#i also think the comedy potential of one of your boyfriends HATING your other boyfriend is gold. 10/10 dynamic#stede is mostly along for the ride in this but also i think they need him#aaaaand. the sam/ed bracket i think can only be closed in exceptional circumstances. i think they 'hate' each other too much#...which is WHY someones getting kidnapped!!! yay#anyway its all irrelevant because ill never write it out. i can do silly chill things but thatll require work#nyxtalks#ofmd#our flag means death#izzy hands#israel hands#sam bellamy#bellhands#i wanna also say. the general concept of repeated sam proposals has been floating around my head forever#it used to be a more silly thing like i referenced at the start but. s2 gave me angsty feelings i guess#i cant not have izzy have feelings for ed right now which inherently adds layers to Any bellhands scenarios i think.#but yeah. its a Classic Bellhands vibe for me. sam seeing izzy at sea or on shore and asking him to marry him (again)#i like to do this with jackie too. i think i just want that man to be obnoxiously desired#(theres also layers of my personal hornigold era lore built into this but i hope it holds up without u knowing it. tldr. sam lost izzy by#being an idiot n fumbling the bag. thats what matters. izzy went with ed and sams been trying to fix it ever since)#i probably should have readmore'd this but i didnt think it was Quite long enough. or had a good break point. sorry <3
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transmascxielian · 1 year ago
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I LOVE BEING AROMANTIC! I love talking to my friends about stuff they like. I love kissing my friends on the face and telling them I'm in love with them and knowing that it isn't romantic, it's just us. I love knowing myself well enough to know that I don't want romance or a relationship. I love platonic interpretations of media. I love defiance of amatonormativity. I love how my experience could be completely alien to that of another aromantic person because of how personal and multifaceted it can be. I love containing multitudes. I love aromanticism and I love being aro and I love being queer and trans and I love eschewing conventional relationships. I love loving.
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daisybell-on-a-carousel · 2 months ago
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Still very wild to me when people try to gotcha Jason with the whole "if you can kill other people for being evil why can't they kill you" when jason is like. One of the most passively suicidal characters I've ever seen. What if man
#augh i dont want to cw this because im just talking about The Character and i feel bad when i do it for characters but i probably should#suicide mention#ask to tag#while im here i do absolutely believe hes been suicidal since jaybin times. maybe even before just in different ways. but like#going into that building with shelia? yeah#now. i DONT think he was aware of it and if youd ask him hed say no fully believing thats the truth#but like if a ghost jaybin had some introspection time i think he'd maybe eventually be like yeah#his outcomes to him were have a loving parent or die and hes a very big fan of ultimatums like that.#but he doesn't fully see it like that as jaybin because oh hes a hero and saving others when no one else can is what heros do :)#ramble. ivee been feeling it lately yknow how it is#ive once saw a post saying jason was planning to die after the joker was dead in utrh and yeagh i can see that#he puts A BOMB in his HELMET#suicidal characters in the context of hero stories are so fascinating to me. the self sacrifice.#the not caring about your own safety as long as you save someone else. the pushing yourself#the way itd be so easy to make it look like they just fell in battle. to be considered a hero in the end#anyway ive been glancing at suicidal jason todd fics. how bad is it that im still getting mad about characterization#because theyre not killing him right#AND ANOTHER THING. since im here and i try to avoid making posts about The Character like this so might as welk get it all out#think about suicidal jaybin as well as the fact 80s bruce very much considered suicidal people/people attempting like#weak and lazy? yells at them? i think thats about it. Very Much. je seems to straight up just hate them#again very much feel free to ask me to tag this one ^-^'#and i hope no one thinks im being callous here im very worried about that. i just its a very important part of his character to think about#and its fun to explore as someone who is passively suicidal myself#jason todd analysis#anyway no one look at me i am in my corner just rotating him#WAIT to clarify i dont think jaybin fully realized Just becauceof the heros sacrifice thing. i made it sound like that i believe#anyway. if you read him as suicidal since jaybin times and go to ditf with that lens like i did. well. the post death victim blaming..
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thebirdandhersong · 2 months ago
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???? something something deep discomfort with body image is it generational?????????
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bacchuschucklefuck · 7 months ago
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love thinking kipperlilly spends her afterlife looking for lucy in a familiar forest
#not art#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#like. does she have a mean of knowing lucy and yolanda got sent to cassandra's domain to hang out for a bit#kipperlilly's isolation means so much to me. she is punished for everything she's done she just doesn't pick up on it#until the moment she dies! one more funky thing that mirrors riz in which he's actively tried to cultivate a community and denied it#until the bad kids. while kipperlilly does not want or care about a community she just wants someone who validates her#but she does Need a community so she latches onto the person she lets closer to her to fulfill her emotional needs#she took the ritual willingly so this might genuinely be her first death. probably terrifying#probably not even enough bandwidth to feel mortified. maybe immediately seeking something comforting out of instinct alone#lmao honestly thinking too much abt fantasy high afterlifes gives me a headache And a visceral fear#Im not religious but I grew up in a culture with a dominantly buddhist/taoist cosmology its Scary that u just go to A Place after u die!!#and then ur still urself!!! thats scary to me what do u mean u stay like that forever. thats fucked#but yeah I think this influences how I see kipperlilly turn out a little bit. in a sense I think of her as being a ghost now#yknow. trying to solve something from life so she can move on and. stop living this life etc#man the reveal that lucy took being killed pretty seriously and is like yeah the others are decent and even sweet#and probably was just trying to hold her party together and do what she thinks is moral by hearing kipperlilly out#lol lmao etc. gods I gotta wonder how kipperlilly's mindset handled jawbones' help#it really is damn tragic tho. I stand by what I said folks like this will complain and be nasty to be around#but they dont have enough desire to inconvenience themselves to off the bat do something abt what they find unfair or whatever#its when theyre handed the seemingly very easy means to be right that they'll start being dangerous#its horribly tragic that the supposed metaplayer and the self-perceived mastermind turned out to ultimately be just an useful idiot#yknow what. I think personally in my heart kipperlilly moves on from her afterlife the moment she says sorry#doesnt even have to be to lucy but that's probably gonna be who received it#ah.... teenage rebellion. teenage gamejacking
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luck-of-the-drawings · 10 months ago
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OH ARTHUR BENNETT.. such a gorgeous and intriguing character. terribly burdened by a GRUESOME set of crimes, his light suffocated by a HEAVY century of GUILT. so tragic, so dark and broody, and yet PAINFULLY awkward in any social setting ever
#jrwi fanart#cw blood#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#arthur bennett#OUHH THIS ONE WAS SITTING IN MY WIPS FOR SO LOOOONGwhen i took it out there was mould on it :sob:#BUT i think i was able to fix it up okay#i keep seeing SO MANY MISTAKES RRAAAHHH BUT YOU DONT SEE THEM RIGHT?? THATS ONLY ME. RIGHT?? EXACTLY.#THE KEY IS TO SAY. AND REPEAT AFTER ME. 'FUUUCK IT WE BALL#so anyway. arthur bennett huh? grizzly says that arthur is reaal fuckin difficult to play. and i SUPER get that. i mean LOOK AT HIM..#grizz often needs a minute to think abt what hes gonna say in a way that matches w that Stoic Personality. which is FAIR but also that#ends up making way for awkward confrontations like: the lady in the parky lot. he took too long to answer and scared her away.& I LOVE THAT#arthur is tragic and sad and cool and stoic but hes ALSO awkward and silly and kinda dumb and short sighted. HE HAS COMPLEXITIES#I LOVE WHEN TTRPG CHARACTERS HAVE A GOOD SET OF SHORTCOMINGS. ESPECIALLY WHEN U FIND THEM ONLY AS U PLAY THEM.#I COULd go on and on saying the same things w different words abt arthurs intriguing and entertaining character but i shall spare u. for no#ILL ALSO MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVE HIS FLAVOR THO.. I LOVE TALL HOT BOY WHOS ONE W THE DARKNESS.. I REMEMBER WHEN HE FIRST MENTIONED THE#BADLUCK. N I WAS LIKE OOOHH THATS WHY HIS DESIGN IS SO COOL N CHAOTIC N ASYMMETRICAL. HES UNLUCKY!!! i love love love his design so much...#GRaaauruguguraguhhghghgh what else what else is there for me to spew on abt...i think im reachin a limit here..OH MAGNUS. i hope that#we get to know more abt how magnus and arthur met.. like How they became besties... ouuhh... I ALSO WANNA KNOW MORE ABT MARY DAVIS. LIKEHOW#he also apparently spent alotta time in a zone dominated by edward twilight? all he remembers is constant partying? I WANNA KNOW MORE..#i think i got room 4 one more ramble SO. THE ART PIECE.as i said its gone a lil stale BUT. im still very proud o the bits where hes allScar#I WANNA SEE HIM GET SCARYMORE. I like the idea of shadows solidifying to make him strange and eerie.like TEETH n CLAWS n SPINES n YESS#also the SILVER EYES.no1 does silver eyes like the show Claymore. they make em look so striking and eerie...i also like to think that#human arthur had deep beautiful brown eyes.just in my beaitufl heart.i mean look at him..i wanna cook him n eat him.ANYWAY#i think thats all my ramblin for this piece. now i gotta go cancel a single day i had ata hotel bc my work schedule change last minute FUCK#feel free to ramble in my tags aswell tho i read all of them and i chew on thenm and i love them so sos os mcuh
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jasperyourmutt · 7 months ago
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hi everyone <3
I have a bit of a life update. To make a long story short, last week I was diagnosed with PTSD. I have been having a... very hard time coming to terms with that. For most of my life I believed I just had a bad anxiety disorder, but I am now realizing that is unfortunately not the case. The past couple months I have been in a near constant state of fight or flight, fear, panic, whatever you want to call it- without really realizing it. and man. it has been exhausting, mentally, physically, spiritually. I just thought it was normal to feel like this all the time. i assumed everyone felt like this. my therapist has helped me realize I am in a lot of pain right now and it is not normal. so. the good news is that there is an intensive trauma therapy that I will be doing for the next couple months that is going to really help me recover. i love and trust my therapist with my whole heart. there is a light at the end of the tunnel. i am finally getting the help i need. so. unfortunately I am going to step away from tumblr for a bit. i dont really want to do this, i love being on here. i love interacting with all the friends i've made here. kink has become a very important and healing part of my life. but it is just a little too much for me at the moment. I'm not sure when I will return, could be a couple weeks, a couple months. I'll return when I feel right. I feel like this may be a little odd to share here, but it's important to me to acknowledge and share that I have been having a really hard time. i tend to downplay when i'm in pain. i feel like people usually don't care about me (i know this is very very much not the case. im trying to convince my brain of that too.) its really hard for me to tell people when i am struggling, especially in my real life. so i am taking baby steps and starting here. so, until I return- chase your tails for me, roll in the grass, bark at the squirrels. take care of yourselves. if you are struggling, know youre loved. get the help you need. i will be curling up in my dog bed and taking a nap in the sun. ruff ruff. wag wag. much love to all of you.
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fencecollapsed · 25 days ago
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I'm gonna stop promising a Paul video at all actually, every time I think about it I stress myself out and I keep thinking of things I want to make more first. I'm realizing I just fully don't want to do it at the moment and I kinda feel more obligated to than anything. that's not how I want to make my stuff :/ it's not gonna be fun if I feel like I Have To. all I'm promising now is that I'll make Hatchetfield character studies when I want to and Paul will get one when I'm REALLY feeling it, which might take a while and also could be never hgjskgnd who knows! I don't! AAAAAAA
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banished-away · 5 months ago
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artemis and dahlia are so good. the contrast between the supposed hero drizzt always keeping her at an arm's lenght, preferring the "soft look" she puts on to please him where she acts and looks softer and covers her tattoos and scars, knowing she had a painful past but not bothering to ask or look into it because it would shake his morals and he would rather pretend to not know than to actually confront it or even help dahlia through it. meanwhile the supposedly cold killer artemis with just a few looks saw the pain in her, let her have the kill against herzgo because he realized it was important to her even if he had just as good reasons and he didnt know dahlia's yet, and when they were alone he let dahlia be vulnerable to him, asked her about her pain, and when she was not comfortable to speak about it he just stayed near her and comforted her
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forbiddentaako · 5 months ago
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more monochrome practice I suppose
#tumblr getting this version of this drawing bc i dont want to get in trouble for drawing them nakey#so its date night vibes instead of like eden vibes#i have such complicated feelings about this ship in part bc we havent really met lilith so dont know what shes about yet#but i know in my heart there was a time they loved each other so much and so this is that#honestly would love so much to get backstory on the eden crew and the happenings there even just like a flashback in an episode or somethin#but lowkey im on the 'hoping they get divorced but deeply care about one another and are a part of each others lives' train#bc thats kind of more interesting to me than them getting back together bc i think the crux of it is how much theyve changed and a part of#their relationship getting to the point where lilith disappeared maybe being them both trying to desperately to salvage it and in doing so#making it worse bc they felt like they ruined their lives to be together and so what was the point of it all if they weren't anymore?? but#like theyre immortal so of course theyre going to change and of course theres a chance that the relationship doesnt work even if they deepl#love one another and always will and i just like the closure of that and admitting they arent right for each other in that way anymore but#they still love and care about each other and will never lose that#this is rambling and doesnt make as much sense as when i was typing it on a different post i am wondering now if theres a limit on how many#tags i can put here bc im just yapping at this point whoops#anyway i need to buck up and actually finish/post that draft i have about my very long and complicated hazbin ship opinions#lucilith#hazbin hotel#lilith morningstar#lilith hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel lilith#lucifer hazbin hotel#hazbin lucifer#hazbin hotel lucifer#lucifer morningstar#hazbin lilith
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hollytree33 · 1 month ago
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Just finished the game
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