#is executed or etc. But like.. I cannot remember EVER really relating to any character or situation or projecting onto a character

[icewindandboringhorror]

I know multiple of these are likely important to people, but I'm asking in terms of like - which of these do you tend to focus on the MOST, enjoy the most, that is most essential for you to actually care about the media, etc.?

(For example: someone finding "Relatability" most important would likely not enjoy a show much if they have trouble empathizing with the characters/relating to it, even if it were good otherwise. Or, someone might be able to overlook bad acting and ugly costumes, as long as the Character Dynamics are fun to them, because they value that more than Aesthetics- while for others, bad costumes would be a dealbreaker.)

Also feel free to reblog and explain your answer or more information in the tags- I've always been curious about people's relationships to media, how they conceptualize it/what they get out of it, how some people value some parts more than others, how that informs their overall taste and genres they may be more inclined towards, etc. :0c

[celeste-clearwater-06]

Hello! I was wondering if you could please write something about how the Fellowship (+ Thorin?) Would help a s/o who's Disabled and Chronically ill. Like she has a lot of symptoms like chronic pain, chronic fatigue, difficulty sleeping, difficulty breathing at times, difficulty walking at times, higher sensitivity to the cold, difficulty talking at times, and anxiety, depression and executive dysfunction?

I've been really struggling with my chronic illnesses lately, namely my Autism, Anxiety, Sleep Apnea, a really bad Overbite, Raynaud's Syndrome, Asthma, etc, so I'd really appreciate an Imagine like this. I have a really weird disorder where one of my legs is longer than the other, and it's been causing me a lot of pain and difficulty walking lately, and people have been bullying me for it a lot too, so I could really use a Comfort Imagine right now. Thanks so much hun!!

It's no problem! I'm glad I can provide some comfort!! For each character, I'll use a specific struggling area, to make it a bit easier!! I hope I got these accurate enough, and of there are any mistakes, feel free to point them out!! You are strong, beautiful and so, so amazing!! Keep being you!! ❤❤

Help (The Fellowship// Thorin x Fem!Reader)

Aragorn (Autism)

Aragorn has known you for a long time, so helping with your autism is not new for him

He's particularly experienced in reading your emotions and meeting your needs, whether it's helping you out of stressful situations or calming you down, he's there 🥺

If there are large and boisterous gatherings in Rivendell, its almost guaranteed that you can become over-stimulated quickly, and Aragorn immediately senses this (spidey senses õoõ)

He's fast to find your hand and give it a gentle squeeze of reassurance

If that doesn't seem to help, he'll instantly stop what he's doing and take you out of the room

If you're someone who prefers lots of space and little physical contact, he is 100% respectful of this and asks if you'll let him touch or hug you (very much gentleman 😌)

If ever you're confronted by someone of importance, Aragorn is right by your side to ease some of the tension

Sometimes there are things you find difficult to say or get out of your system

The king seems to know exactly what it is and will help you out by saying it or asking you simple questions that you can easily answer

And he always reminds you, no matter WHAT

YOU ARE NOT STUPID 😤😡

You may struggle with some parts of your life, but every day, he's constantly telling you that you're very intelligent and kind

His patience is unending and he'll never let you think down on yourself

Overall, Aragorn is always someone and reminding you that it's all going to be okay ❤❤

Legolas (Anxiety)

Most nights, Legolas keeps watch (since elves don't require much sleep) and notices that you jolt awake out of the random

Now, most of the Fellowship notices that you're usually awake and ready to go before anyone else

But Legolas is really the one to address you first

You were a bit nervous to explain, since you didn't want to worry him or the great of the fellowship, amount the other disadvantages you have

He gently encouraged you, and finally, you explained to him your sleep apnea

Yeah, he was very concerned

I mean, his blue eyes widened with terror when you told him that you could basically die in your sleep if you weren't attentive enough 🙃

Legolas, from now on, sleeps directly next to you, or keeps extra careful watch over you at night

Because he could NEVER see his precious mortal friend become injured... Or worse 🥺🥺❤

The other members had noticed a change in his behaviors towards you as well...

Gimli teased him whenever he caught Legolas giving you some extra lembas bread or offered to carry you 👉👈

You really tried to assure Legolas that it wasn't a big deal when you were awake, since you're aware of your breathing situation

But still 😤

Legolas will always bring you comfort and take great care of you, and that will NEVER CHANGE

Because he loves you very much ❤🦋

Frodo (Anxiety)

Frodo is familiar with the feeling of great anxiety, seeing he had a stress-free life while living in the Shire and suddenly was forced to carry a piece of jewelry all the way to giant ass volcano

It's easy for you two to comfort each other and seek refuge in thoughts and feelings ❤

He's not super comfortable with the thought of you having a panic attack though...

Only because he's never had one

It starts to give him a panic attack whenever you have one around him the first time 😳-

Any time you begin to breathe heavy or hyperventilate, halfling boy is hot at your heels, rubbing your back and reminding you to breathe gently

(So many hugs, if you're up for it)

After you calm down, he's constantly checking on you, asking if you need anything etc.

Really, he just wants to know if he can help 🥺

And even with the weight and stress of carrying the ring, Frodo manages to cheer you up somehow

Samwise (Asthma)

Sam has never had to deal with asthma once in his life

He's very nervous when the subject is brought, afraid it might trigger something inside of you 🥺👉👈

But you just chuckle, assure him that it's alright, and you have ways of keeping it under control

And now, he wants to know everything about it, just to have the awareness in case something happens

Sam just wants to protect you forever, and this was a great way for him to start

He constantly reminds Aragorn that you'll need breathing breaks and will convince Gandalf to let you ride on his horse

He'll scold Pip and Merry if they are trying to drag you around and be silly, because as he says

"You'll rouse him/her/them up! We can't have Y/N gettin injured!" 🤨😠

Sam is MOM

As always, he's very kind and always makes sure your needs are met ❤🥺

Pippin and Merry (Raynaud's Syndrome)

Very confused halfings 🤔

Also extremely concerned!

You were eating one of the lesser pleasurable nights

It was cold and rainy, and a fire couldn't be started, not to mention the quiet arguments of Aragorn and Gandalf in the nearby woods

And Pip's eyes widened when he saw the tips of your petite fingers begin to pale upon hearing Aragorn mention Orcs

"What's wrong with your hands?!" He squeaked, pointing towards your now white-colored fingertips

You hadn't even noticed, nor felt, considering they were numb anyways

Merry looked over his cousin's shoulder and his eyes also widened, not with fright, but wonder

They were both fascinated with your condition, convinced that you were casting some spell Gandalf showed you

Although you reassured them it was just an extremely frustrating inconvenience that you had, among other things

So from then on, the disastrobus duo did their best to keep you out of the cold (and stressful situations!!)

As a distraction, the pair will tell you great stories of the shire, doing little dances and skits that always cheer you up 🥴

Sometimes, they can be a little rambunctious though...

Merry will pick up on this fact quickly, and nudge Pippin to get him to calm down

Even though it may not feel the best

They find your syndrome absolutely fascinating!! 🤔🤔

All in all, these two are always up for keeping your beautiful smile on your face and your spirits high!! ❤🌺

Boromir (Depression)

Throughout the journey, Boromir has always found an easy way to make you smile

After all, he himself has a fascinating way of brightening anyone's spirits

Yours included ❤

Boromir may not have great stories from The Shire, like Pip and Merry, but he sure has a lot of positive things to say

He'll often suggest sparring with the two troublemaking halflings, just so you can see him goof up and get knocked over 🥺

If the nights become cold and weary, he'll give you a warm hug or a nudge on the shoulder

And a few words of helpful encouragement along the lines of;

"Don't fret Y/N. You have more strength than you'll ever know."

"Let our spirits never dampen! We've come this far!" 😊

He's also an incredible listener

Boromir wants to hear what you have to say if you ever need to rant or get something off of your chest

And don't think for a second that he would ever judge you 😤

Son of Gondor sees past all of your insecurities and knows you for your beautiful, amazing self ❤❤

Gimli (Walking disadvantages)

As you travel across great plains and mountains, your limp doesn't go unnoticed by Gimli

It may take him a while to open up about it, since he's afraid he might offend you in some way

And once he asks you, you inform him that it's a difficulty that unfortunately cannot be changed any time soon

And where you come from, lots of people tease and bully you about it

He did NOT handle it well 😳

"wHAT BLUBBERING DULL-MINDED PIGNUTS-" 🤬

Although this Dwarf is short and a bit slow at times

He's fascinatingly strong 😳

And so, he makes it his duty to be your designated carrier 🥺

At first, your a tad skeptical...

I mean, he's only around 4 feet tall...

BUT HAVE YOU SEEN HIM THROW THAT HUGE AX AROUND?!

Gimli will happily carry you great distances when you need a break, and even longer

(Sometimes it's just to show off around the others-)

"Gimli, are you sure you don't want a break?"

"Aye lass! The strength of Dwarves is unending!" 😌

*struggling to breathe*

11/10, fantastic dwarf, will never let you down!!

Thorin (Executive Dysfunction)

Another Dwarf??

Absolutely

Thorin himself has trouble keeping composure with his time management (and sense of direction 🙄)

This means that he'll have an undying amount of patience for you and you only

There's just something about you that he fond of, and it fills in that little sassy, brooding place in his heart

Can also relate to you whenever you grow frustrated at the setback of your journey or lack of sleep

Is 100% willing to help you find your lost belongings (and once again, ONLY YOU)

Thorin will literally make the whole traveling party stop so that you can put something in your bag and make sure that you put it somewhere you'll remember

Always happy to give you extra gentle reminders of keeping your pack closed

The company is utterly SHOCKED with how he treats you

I mean, this man has always been extremely stubborn and hard headed

But when you show up, it's another person he can easily relate and share frustrations with

Also a master at organization?!? 🤔

The one thing he could do successfully was organizing the damn journey and traveling company, so ofc he's gonna be good at that 😂

Yeah, Thorin definitely has a soft spot for you

King under the mountain will never run out of patience and kindness for you 😌💙

Sorry these took so long!! I hope you like them!! ❤❤

[wenellyb]

this is probably just me but I’m kind of getting annoyed with directors and producers saying in interviews that they didn’t intend for the characters to be read as LGBT at all...i just feel like it’s always been a given that once you create a piece of fiction (like books or movies), the interpretations of the reader/viewer are just as important as the intentions of the author/creator.

even if the intention wasn’t to make sam or bucky bi and in a relationship, i feel like we are allowed to read them like that without the directors and writers saying “no no we didn’t mean for it to be like that!!”...like it might not have been their intention but it’s still there

and i don’t think it’s wishful thinking that they’re in a relationship either, like the tropes of a romcom are right there...anyway sambucky rights 😭

Hi Anon, I don't think it's just you and I really understand the frustration because I share some of it too but I'm frustrated at the real "culprits"... the executives making the decisions. I'm sorry for replying late to this but I have a lot of thoughts on this topic and I wanted to organize them first😂 First things first... I know we have all been in other fandoms... But we have try to stop applying what happened in other fandoms and what other directors have said in other fandoms to what's happening with Sambucky. For so many reasons, but the main one is: Marvel people cannot say anything.... literally.... They must have a secrecy oath or something but it's not in these interviews that you will find meaningful information.. Remember a while back when Anthony tried to tell us he WASN'T Captain America even though we had all seen Steve hand him the shield in Endgame?? So it was already a scene we had seen? That man was contradicting something that millions of people had seen with their own eyes. Was I frustrated at Anthony ? No. Because that's how anyone involved in marvel projects talks... ( You remember why people make fun of Ruffalo and Holland? Because they are the only 2 unable to follow that one simple rule😂) So my strategy is focus on the content we have and focus on the future content when it's time to focus on the future content... But I really never focus on cast members interviews or directors interview etc...(Only Stackie interviews but you know that already). I think that we are so used to complaining in other fandoms that we complain for the FATWS but the directors did the best they could. Maybe the directors/writers in other shows/movies have a little more freedom in what they said.

I would understand of it were an indie movie or something but it isn't, Kari and Malcom arent making the decisions alone and have some limitations because they aren't allowed to give any hints about the future... and most of the time they don't even know themselves... Directors/ writers change all the time. Besides in Marvel shows the romance is never at the center of the story, I consider myself lucky that we got this much romance in the show... If Sam or Bucky were a woman I don't think we would have had any more romantic moments than what we got (maybe just on little kiss at the end but not much more than that... Sam and Bucky wouldn't have been kissing in every episode I can assure you that). The only difference is that people would have seen the romance right away, and the shippers wouldn't have minded if there had been a kiss or not. Because that's how Marvel projects work... not much focus on the romance itself, it's not even a subplot, more like a sub-subplot.

Sam and Bucky started with only 4 lines in Civil War and then 2 scenes in Endgame... That's it. So what they have now is just amazing.

Another point: If I'm not mistaken, Kari never said that Bucky was never intended to be read as LGBT/ Bi. If she did, let me know and I will read the interview again. What she said was that the Tiger Pictures weren't put there to show that Bucky was bisexual but to show that he was not good with technology. And that there was" no sexuality attached to his character" which makes no sense, by the way, because he went on a date with Leah, so they had to at least think avout his sexuality,... But she didn't say that, she didn't say he was straight or bi. She purposely gave a vague answer...Like all Marvel people do... So I think it's unfair to get frustrated at her for things that are out of her control. She was giving a specific answer related to the Tiger pics, maybe she would have given a different reply to a different question. I know that directors or actors other shows have said what you just mentioned in your ask, and correct me if I'm wrong, but it hasn' t been the case for TFATWS. I don't think any of them said Bucky wasn't bisexual and even less about Sam. They never said anything like that or never said that they never intended them to be read as LGBT. Last point: I don't think that she had no intention of portraying Sam and Bucky in a romantic lighting... I do think it was intentional but I also think that this is the best she can share right now...

As you said... the romance tropes are right there... it's not a mistake or a coïncidence... they put them there for a reason I have said this before but I will say it again because I think some Sambucky shippers don't come from other MCU fandoms and even the ones that do seem to forget this sometimes... y

These writers, directors, etc always talk in riddles and share as little information as possible...We don't know what will happen and they don't know either... So it's very difficult for them to make impactful comments.

Sorry to bring this a lot but am I the only one who remembers the Peggy Sharon and the Peggy again situations...??? Do you think any of the directors or writer knew where the story was going when they were filming the movies? no. I say we just focus on what we liked and ignore the reat until there is real content, Kari said " they love each other and rhey work great as a couple" and Malcom said they are a family .... If I were in their position I don't know what I would be allowed to say... nothing is ever certain in the Marvel universe. As much as I'd like to hope about what happens with Sam and Bucky in the next movies... I don't even think the decision has been made, so why get frustrated over something that isn't even decided yet...What I can so... is the already great and developed love story, I don't care that there wasn't a kiss.

Would I have appreciate an "official" confirmation? Yes, yes yes. But I'm also happy with the story as it is and know that maybe it isn't their decision to confirm or not. But the content is there and it's a love story. People who say Marvel will never go there are lying because they don't know. And people who pretend Bucky and Sam will be together in the next movies are lying too because they don't know either... It's also a possibility that Seb wouldn't be in the next Cap movie... We really don't know enough to be frustrated about anything😂. Even if Kari and the writers had depicted Sam and Bucky as a romantic item (Which they did, by the way). I believe this is the maximum she would have been able to say... Maybe because they are two men... or maybe because that's just the way Marvel operates.

Please feel free to share your thougts on this if you want too and of course: Sambucky rights!!!

[popculty]

52 Films by Women: 2020 Edition

Another annual challenge complete!

Last year, I focused on diversifying my list. This year I kept that intention but focused on watching more non-American films and films from the 20th century. Specifically, I sought out Agnès Varda’s entire filmography, after her death in 2019. (I was not disappointed - What a filmmaking legend we lost.) 

I also kept a film log for the first time and have included some of my thoughts on several films from that log. I made a point of including reviews both positive and negative, because I think it’s important to acknowledge the variability and breadth of the canon, so as not to put every film directed by a woman on a pedestal. (Although movies directed by women must clear a much higher bar to be greenlit, meaning generally higher quality...But that’s an essay for another day :)

* = directed by a woman of color

bold = fave

1. The Rhythm Section (2020) dir. Reed Morano - Not as good as it could have been, given Morano’s proven skill behind the camera, but also not nearly as bad as the critics made it out to be. And unbelievably refreshing to see a female revenge story not driven by sexual assault or the loss of a husband/child.

2. Cléo de 5 à 7 (1962) dir. Agnès Varda - If you ever wanted to take a real-time tour of Paris circa 1960, this is the film for you.

3. Little Women (2019) dir. Greta Gerwig - Still my favorite Little Women adaptation. I will re-watch it every year and cry.

4. Varda by Agnès (2019) dir. Agnès Varda & Didier Rouget

5. Booksmart (2019) dir. Olivia Wilde - An instant classic high school comedy romp that subverts all the gross tropes of its 1980s predecessors.

6. Girls of the Sun (2018) dir. Eva Husson

7. Blue My Mind (2017) dir. Lisa Brühlmann

8. Portrait of a Lady On Fire (2019) dir. Céline Sciamma - Believe the hype. This film is a master thesis on the female gaze, and also just really effing gorgeous.

9. Belle Epine (2010) dir. Rebecca Zlotowski

10. Vamps (2012) dir. Amy Heckerling - With Krysten Ritter and Alicia Silverstone as modern-day vampires, I was so ready for this movie. But it feels like a bad stage play or a sit-com that’s missing a laugh-track. Bummer.

11. *Birds of Prey (2020) dir. Cathy Yan - Where has this movie been all our lives?? Skip the next onslaught of Snyder-verse grim-darkery and give me two more of these STAT! 

12. She’s Missing (2019) dir. Alexandra McGuinness

13. The Mustang (2019) dir. Laure de Clermont-Tonnere - Trigger warning for the “protagonist” repeatedly punching a horse in the chest. I noped right out of there.

14. Monster (2003) dir. Patty Jenkins – I first watched this movie when I was probably too young and haven’t revisited it since. The rape scene traumatized me as a kid, but as an adult I appreciate how that trauma is not the center of the movie, or even of Aileen’s life. Everyone still talks about how Charlize “went ugly” for this role, but the biggest transformation here isn’t aesthetic, it’s physical – the way Theron replicates Wuernos’ mannerisms, way of speaking, and physicality. That’s why she won the Oscar. I also love that Jenkins calls the film “Monster” (which everyone labels Aileen), but then actually uses it to tell the story of how she fell in love with a woman when she was at her lowest, and that saved her. That’s kind of beautiful, and I’m glad I re-watched it so that I could see the story in that light, instead of the general memory I had of it being a good, feel-bad movie. It’s so much more than that.

15. Water Lilies (2007) dir. Céline Sciamma – Sciamma’s screenwriting and directorial debut, the first in her trilogy on youth, is as painfully beautiful as its sequels (Tomboy and Girlhood). It’s also one of the rare films that explores the overlap of queerness and girl friendships.

16. The Trouble with Angels (1966) dir. Ida Lupino – Movies about shenanigan-based female friendships are such rare delights. Rosalind Russel is divine as Mother Superior, and Hayley Mills as “scathingly brilliant” as the pranks she plays on her. Ida Lupino’s skill as an editor only enhances her directing, providing some truly iconic visual gags to complement dialogue snappy enough for Gilmore Girls. 

17. Vagabond (1985) dir. Agnès Varda – Shot with a haunting realism, this film has no qualms about its heroine’s inevitable, unceremonious death, which it opens with, matter-of-factly, before retracing her final (literal) steps to the road-side ditch she ends up in. (I’m partly convinced said heroine was the inspiration for Sarah Manning in Orphan Black.)

18. One Sings, The Other Doesn’t (1977) dir. Agnès Varda – Probably my favorite classic Varda, this film feels incredibly personal. It’s essentially a love story about two best friends with very different lives. For an indie made in the ‘70s, the diversity, scope, and themes of the film are impressive. Even if the second half a drags a bit, the first half is absolute perfection, engaging the viewer immediately, and clipping along, sprinkling in some great original songs that were way progressive for their time (about abortion, female bodily autonomy, etc) and could still be considered “bangers” today.

19. Emma (2020) dir. Autumn de Wilde

20. Black Panthers (1969) dir. Agnès Varda

21. Into the Forest (2016) dir. Patricia Rozema - When the world was ending (i.e. the pandemic hit) this was the first movie I turned to - a quiet, meditative story of two sisters (Elliot Page and Evan Rachel Wood) surviving off the land after a sudden global blackout. Four years later, it’s still one of my favorite book-to-screen adaptations. I fondly remember speaking with director Patricia Rozema at the 2016 Chicago Critics Film Festival after a screening, her love for the source material and desire to “get it right” so apparent. I assured her then, and reaffirm now, that she really did.

22. City of Trees (2019) dir. Alexandra Swarens

23. Never Rarely Sometimes Always (2020) dir. Eliza Hittmann - To call this a harrowing and deeply personal journey of a sixteen-year-old who must cross state lines to get an abortion would be accurate, but incomplete. It is a story so much bigger than that, about the myriad ways women’s bodies and boundaries are constantly violated.

24. Paradise Hills (2019) dir. Alice Waddington

25. *Eve’s Bayou (1996) dir. Kasi Lemmons – I’ve been meaning to watch Kasi Lemmons’ directorial debut for many years now, and I’m so glad I finally have, because it fully deserves its icon status, beyond being one of the first major films directed by a black woman. Baby Jurnee Smollett's talent was immediately recognizable, and she has reminded us of it in Birds of Prey and Lovecraft Country this year. If merit was genuinely a factor for Oscar contenders, she would have taken home gold at eleven years old. Beasts of the Southern Wild has been one of my all-time favorites, but now I realize that most of my appreciation for that movie actually goes to Lemmons for blazing the trail with her story of a young black girl from the bayou first. It’s also a surprisingly dark story about memory and abuse and familial relationships that cross lines - really gutsy and surprising themes, especially for the ‘90s.

26. Blow the Man Down (2019) dir. Bridget Savage Cole & Danielle Krudy - Come and get your sea shanty fix!

27. Touchy Feely (2013) dir. Lynn Shelton - R.I.P. :(

28. Hannah Gadsby: Douglas (2020) dir. Madeleine Parry - If you thought Gadsby couldn’t follow up 2018′s sensational Nanette with a comedy special just as sharp and hilarious, you would have been sorely mistaken.

29. Girlhood (2013) dir. Céline Sciamma

30. Breathe (2014) dir. Mélanie Laurent

31. *A Dry White Season (1989) dir. Euzhan Palcy

32. Laggies (2014) dir. Lynn Shelton

33. *The Old Guard (2020) dir. Gina Prince-Bythewood – Everything I’ve ever wanted in an action movie: Immortal gays, Charlize Theron wielding a labrys (battle axe), kinetic fight choreography I haven’t seen since the last Bond movie…Watched it twice, then devoured the comics it was adapted from, and I gotta say: in the hands of black women, it eclipses the source material. Cannot wait for the just-announced sequel.

34. Morvern Callar (2002) dir. Lynn Ramsay

35. Shirley (2020) dir. Josephine Decker

36. *Radioactive (2019) dir. Marjane Satrapi – The story is obviously well worth telling and the narrative structure – weaving in the future consequences of Curie’s discoveries – is clever, but a bit awkwardly executed and overly manipulative. There are glimpses of real brilliance throughout, but it feels as if the director’s vision was not fully realized, to my great disappointment. Nonetheless, I appreciated seeing Marie Curie's story being told by a female director and embodied by the always wonderful Rosamund Pike.

37. *The Half of It (2020) dir. Alice Wu - I feel like a real scrooge for saying this, but this movie did nothing for me. Nothing about it felt fresh, authentic or relatable. A real disappointment from the filmmaker behind the wlw classic Saving Face.

38. Mouthpiece (2018) dir. Patricia Rozema - I am absolutely floored. One of those films that makes you fall in love with the art form all over again. Patricia Rozema continues to prove herself one of the most creatively ambitious and insightful directors of our time, with this melancholic meditation on maternal grief and a woman’s duality.

39. Summerland (2020) dir. Jessica Swale - The rare period wlw love story that is not a) all-white or b) tragedy porn. Just lovely.

40. *The Last Thing He Wanted (2020) dir. Dee Rees – As rumored, a mess. Even by the end, I still couldn’t tell you who any of the characters are. Dee, we know you’re so much better than this! (see: Mudbound, Pariah)

41. *Cuties (2020) dir. Maïmouna Doucouré – I watched this film to 1) support a black woman director who has been getting death threats for her work and 2) see what all the fuss is about. While I do think there were possibly some directorial choices that could have saved quite a bit of the pearl-clutching, overall, I didn’t find it overly-exploitative or gross, as many (who obviously haven’t actually watched the film) have labeled it. It certainly does give me pause, though, and makes me wonder whether children can ever be put in front of a camera without it exploiting or causing harm to them in some way. It also makes one consider the blurry line between being a critique versus being an example. File this one under complicated, for sure.

42. A Call to Spy (2019) Lydia Dean Pilcher – An incredible true story of female spies during WWII that perfectly satisfied my itch for British period drama/spy thriller and taught me so much herstory I didn’t know.

43. Kajillionaire (2020) dir. Miranda July - I was lucky enough to attend the (virtual) premiere of this film, followed by an insightful cast/director Q&A, which only made me appreciate it more. July's offbeat dark comedy about a family of con artists is queerer and more heartfelt than it has any right to be, and a needed reprieve in a year of almost entirely white wlw stories. The family's shenanigans are the hook, but it's the budding relationship between Old Dolio (an almost unrecognizable Evan Rachel Wood) and aspiring grifter Melanie (the luminous Gina Rodriguez) that is the heart of the story.

44. Misbehaviour (2020) dir. Philippa Lowthorpe – Again, teaching me herstory I didn’t know, about how the Women’s Liberation Movement stormed the 1970 Miss World Pageant. Keira Knightley and Gugu Mbatha-Raw’s characters have a conversation in a bathroom at the end of the film that perfectly eviscerates well-meaning yet ignorant white feminism, without ever pitting women against each other - a feat I didn’t think was possible. I also didn’t think it was possible to critique the male gaze without showing it (*ahem Cuties, Bombshell, etc*), but this again, invents a way to do it. Bless women directors.

45. *All In: The Fight for Democracy (2020) dir. Liz Garbus and Lisa Cortes – 2020’s 13th. Thank god for Stacey Abrams, that is all.

46. *The 40-Year-Old Version (2020) dir. Radha Blank – This scene right here? I felt that in my soul. This whole film is so good and funny and heartfelt and relatable to any artist trying to walk that tightrope of “making it” while not selling their soul to make it. My only initial semi-note was that it’s a little long, but after hearing Radha Blank talk about how she fought for the two-hour run-time as a way of reclaiming space for older black women, I take it back. She’s right: Let black women take up space. Let her movie be as long as she wants it to be. GOOD FOR HER.

47. Happiest Season (2020) dir. Clea Duvall - Hoooo boy. What was marketed as the first lesbian Christmas rom-com is actually a horror movie for anyone who’s ever had to come out. Throw in casual racism and a toxic relationship treated as otp, and it’s YIKES on so many levels. Aubrey Plaza, Dan Levy, and an autistic-coded Jane are the only (underused) highlights.

48. *Monkey Beach (2020) dir. Loretta Todd

49. *Little Chief (2020) dir. Erica Tremblay – A short film part of the 2020 Red Nation Film Festival, it’s a perfect eleven minutes that I wish had gone on longer, if only to bask in Lily Gladstone in a leading role.

50. First Cow (2019) dir. Kelly Reichardt – I know Kelly Reichardt’s style, so I’ll admit-- even as I was preparing for an excellent film, I was also reaching for my phone, planning on only half paying attention during all the inevitable 30-second shots of grass blowing in the wind. (And yes, there are plenty of those.) But twenty minutes in, my phone was set aside and forgotten, as I am getting sucked into this beautiful story about two frontiersman trying to live their best domestic life.There is only one word to describe this film and that is: PURE. I’ve never seen such a tender platonic relationship between men on screen before, and it’s not lost on me that it took a woman to show us that tenderness. Reichardt gives us two men brought together by fate, and kept together by a shared dream and the simple pleasure of not being alone in such a hard world; two men who spend their days cooking, trapping, baking, and dreaming of a better life; two men who don’t say much, but feel everything for each other. The world would be a much better place if men showed us this kind of vulnerability and friendship toward each other. Oh, and it’s also a brutal take-down of capitalism and the myth of the American Dream!

51. Wonder Woman 1984 (2020) dir. Patty Jenkins - My most-anticipated film for the past two years was...well, a mixed bag, to say the least. Too many thoughts on it for a blog post, so stay tuned for the upcoming podcast ep where we go all in ;)

52. *Selah and the Spades (2019) dir. Tayarisha Poe

I hope this gives you some ideas to kick off your new year with a resolution to support more female directors!

What were your favorite women-directed movies of last year? Let me know in the tags, comments, or asks!

[mellowmoonn]

Writing Help - Genres

As a writer, you really need to know what age group you intend to write for. Depending on the age, you may need to censor yourself or glaze over some heavier topics. Think of ATLA and how they never actually stated Jet died but instead insinuated it. Or, in YA novels when characters get close and the narrator skips over the most NSFW parts of the sex scene. 

Disclaimer: Keep in mind I’m writing from my knowledge and what I remember reading at a certain age. Some research has been done for accuracy. I also don’t enjoy adult novels, particularly because they tend to be too much for me (...there tends to be lots of NSFW). With that said, forgive me if the examples aren’t amazing.

Who Do You Want to Write For?

Understanding who you want to write for makes the process much easier. If you want to write horror books for children because there aren’t enough of them, great. You can then proceed to write down your ideas and focus on the scare factor as well as how detailed you want your descriptions to be. Less is more, especially for younger kids. A single sentence in middle-grade horror can disturb even me. And trust me, most things don’t bother me.

Once you know what to write for, you can study your demographic more. By that, I simply mean what people your age are interested in. This isn’t saying you cannot write what you want to for who you want to write it for, but looking at the demographics will get your book(s) out there. For example, children might not enjoy or understand romance but gravitate more to adventure, comedy, slice of life, or superhero stuff. 

What Do These Genres Entail?

You need to know what you’re getting yourself into when you write, so I’m going to give you a shortlist of genres and the content that is appropriate for each. Assuming most aren’t writing for children younger than 5, I won’t include those genres.

Remember to do your own research.

Children (5-8)

Due to childhood development, this genre varies quite a bit. I’ll generalize for simplicity.

Children between the ages of five and eight typically begin to independently read. Development varies, but using simpler language and including pictures aids them in taking in the content and understanding it.

From younger to older children: picture books, comics, short chapter books. It depends on their development and interests as well. 

Even in picture books, these are usually longer than for younger children. They never exceed 100 pages and often have larger fonts.

Characters are usually animals or younger children (some with their parents).

Book examples: Pete the Cat, Poppleton, The Magic Tree House, Fantastic Mr. Fox

Middle Grade (8-12)

Pictures are still relevant sometimes, but it depends on the book. Most kids this age can visualize and don’t need much unless it’s something like fantasy or horror (Coraline has an edition with pictures as well as a disturbing graphic novel).

Slang begins to be included at this age and more mature language. Depending on the book, simple swears like “crap” or “damn” may be used. Insults begin to pop up as jokes and body humor are more appropriate at this age.

Sometimes romance makes its way into these books, but kids these ages still gravitate to things that aren’t so “gross.” 

Middle-Grade books begin to exceed that 100-page mark and chapter book series with a logical plot and/or order comes about. 

Characters are typically human, but supernatural creatures are popular in novels in this age group.

Book examples: Coraline, Ramona’s World, Because of Winn Dixie, Charlotte’s Web, Goosebumps

Young Adult (12-18)

You (typically) won’t catch pictures in a YA book, rather vivid descriptions. The only time pictures are in books is when maps are included. Pictures are an author’s choice.

YA is also a very large genre with varying developmental stages. Some books gravitate more to middle grade, others new adult.

The genres of books boom in YA because so much more can be done. You will catch books that are strictly romance, others crime, and even mystery. 

Swearing is no longer avoided in YA novels. Characters will openly say fuck a thousand times and no one looks twice. 

YA books tend to have deeper conversations than books for younger audiences. Killing off main characters isn’t looked down upon. These books also tend to speak about and represent sex, but never in grave detail. Characters will never get past removing clothing. The issue of sex in YA is also a controversial topic that is pretty interesting when looked into.

The themes of YA books are ones that teenagers typically experience. This could be gender, sexuality, self-worth, etc.

YA books are usually between 200 and 500 pages. It depends on whether it is a novella, stand-alone, or series.

Characters are in middle or high school, to which the readers can relate to. The home and parents are also relevant. Lots of talk about family life and such.

Book Examples: The Fault in Our Stars, The Book Thief, Divergent, The Hunger Games, The Catcher in the Rye

New Adult (18-25)

Once again, pictures are usually maps and such.

NA does everything a YA does in more detail. It’s the genre for people who like YA but want a bit more or don’t want to be held back as much. When your target audience doesn’t involve children, your creative freedom can run (nearly) wild.

Sex scenes are explicit. No one questions a sex scene in a NA, nor censors them in the way YA does. The narrator doesn’t have to glaze over this, rather describing the emotional and physical aspects of it as they would with anything else.

In comparison to YA, NA books tackle different themes. A NA book might not focus on growing up, rather the independence or struggle of having grown up. More adult things such as struggles for housing and finance might arise differently than it would to someone younger watching their parents struggle and going down along with them.

NA books tend to fall in the same page range as YA books. Again, very similar, but not the same. Think of YA as the bridge between YA and Adult. A little more, but not too much.

Characters are typically between the age range of the readers, but they don’t have to be. 

Book Examples: A Court of Thorns and Roses, Lily and the Octopus, Red White and Royal Blue, Code Name: Verity, The Good Girl

Adult (25+)

Keep in mind that I do not read adult books...

I’ve never heard of photos in adult novels. Correct me if I am wrong.

Nothing is really off-limits in adult books. Anything you could ever want to write about can fit in this genre. Period pieces, historical fiction, horror, and autobiographies are often found as adult books.

Pieces are much more complex than those meant for younger audiences such as a YA or NA. They also tackle more difficult topics such as racism and abuse in more mature ways. It’s much easier to cover something like that in a book for older audiences than younger ones because you don’t necessarily have to simplify things. Focusing on the experiences of the character as if it were of coming of age isn’t as important.

The detail in adult books also changes in comparison to books for younger audiences. Whereas violence maybe something quick and easy, an adult book will drag it with vivid details. In Cirque du Freak, a middle-grade novel, the tearing of a person’s arm was described in two sentences in a way that made the reader imagine what an arm tearing would be like. In an adult book, you best be sure you’ll be reading about anatomy and immense amounts of gore.

Adult books can be short or extremely long. It depends on the genre once you hit adult books, as attention span isn’t much of a big deal anymore.

The characters in an adult book can be any age. It’s the content at this point and not who’s reading. An adult book can follow a tween/teen, an adult, or an elderly person. It doesn’t matter. What does matter is how you handle what is happening to certain characters. For example, if your character is a minor, you shouldn’t be writing graphic sex scenes. 

Book Examples: The Help, The Girl on the Train, The Handmaid’s Tale, The Kite Runner, The Shining

Conclusions

I feel like I could write more in this post, but I won’t. It will be much too long if I say anymore. It’s really up to what you like and the way you want to execute it. As a newer reader, I find that I like YA novels but gravitate to the grittier or mature ones. I dislike sex scenes, so the intimacy in YA is just enough for me. 

For my writing, I want to write a NA that can achieve what I like and in the way I enjoy it. In my reading endeavors, these past eight months, the Feverwake duology (my ever mentioned series...) has hit what I enjoy. While it is categorized as YA, the second book leans more toward NA and I love that. The way the author writes is also similar to the way I do, which is cool.

In the end, do what you love. Keep your audience in mind and remember that you don’t have to fit yourself into one genre. James Patterson wrote books for children and adults. Have I read any of his works? No, but I have family and friends who do enjoy or have enjoyed his work. You wanna write a book for your younger sibling? Do it. You want to write a book you need or want? Do it. You want to write a book that will make adults feel like children again? Do it. 

You’re the writer and write for a reason. Keep writing a passion, not a chore.

[Gif from Ouran High School Host Club]

[cookiedoughmeagain]

Haven DVD Commentaries: 4.01 - Fallout

Gabrielle Stanton Executive Producer, and Writer for this episode, and Matt McGuinness, Executive Producer

[As the ‘previously on’ section shows] Gabrielle Stanton: I just remember how many times we wrote the word ‘barn’ during the last few episodes of the last season. If it were a drinking game we never would have made it through.

[As Duke watches Audrey’s memories play out on the walls inside the barn] Matt McGuinness: What’s clever about this scene is it was a way for us to hide a bit of backstory because you got to see these various moments, but it also helped to explain what the barn was and how it is a repository for her memories and whatnot. GS: It was kind of a way for us to do flashbacks without actually doing flashbacks.

[As Duke lands in the aquarium] MMG: I have to do a big shout out right here. This idea of Duke landing in some sort of fluid and us not knowing where he was and then coming up, was Ginger McGuinness’s idea. My daughter at the age of 8 came up with this idea; ‘Daddy why don’t you have him land in a fish tank in an aquarium?’ which we thought was super cool. GS: And Balfour did too, until he realised how cold the water was going to be. MMG: Apparently that tank held lobsters or something, and Eric is a surfer - he knows cold water, but it was I think low 50s, which is bitterly cold. GS: But he was a trouper; went in again and again.

[As the detective is questionning Duke in the hospital] GS: I like this scene because it was Duke trying to talk his way out of something, and we got a chance to talk about his aliases and his fake IDs and it’s always fun when we get to do that... I actually worked worked with Balfour on a short-lived show called Veritas The Quest many years ago, and Calvin Banks, the name of one of his aliases there, was the name of his character on Veritas. MMG: Wow! Really? That is some inside arcane knowledge. GS: I thought there would be someone who got it, but I don’t think anyone did. Including Eric.

The outside of the Haven Bookshop is Lunenberg and the inside is in on location in Chester. GS: The Warp and Weft Giftstore in Chester closed down and we kinda took it over and shoot various things in there; bookstores, cafes, offices, MMG: If you ever get the chance to go to Chester, Nova Scotia, it’s a lovely little town. I might suggest the summer as opposed to the winter … GS: It’ll be raining either way, but it’s just whether it’s cold rain or cool rain. MMG: It’s a very nice spot, lots of tourists like to go there. And as you drive around Chester you will see plenty of places - and by ‘plenty’, I mean all of Chester. We’ve shot everywhere in Chester as we head into our fifth season. GS: Yeah it’s kind of amazing; I don’t think there’s anything we haven’t shot.

GS: And now we’re about to meet Jennifer. She is a great character, we’re really really happy with everything her and Eric do this coming season. MMG: Yeah we were really happy with the performance of Emma Lahana who plays Jennifer. GS: And they just had good chemistry. You hope you’re going to get good chemistry when you cast people, but you never really know until you start seeing it on screen.

MMG: Ah look, Eric’s got his pants on under that gown. I would have suggested no pants.

[As Jennifer starts talking to Duke] GS: This was the scene we used for auditions to cast Jennifer. We saw a great many actresses for this role. GS: I remember on the day there were many discussions about the hat she’s wearing. MMG: She kind of became known for her hats and scarves. There’s a hint for the fans; scarves will continue to play a part in the story of Jennifer.

GS: It’s so funny doing these commentaries because it’s always like a year later, since we shot it and edited it and everything, so it’s always looking back. I was telling someone earlier that usually about 10 minutes in, I just forget what I’m supposed to be doing and just start watching the episode.

[As Duke and Jennifer are talking about the barn etc.] GS: This was also a nice way … Every premiere episode you always want to reset the series for new audience members, and this was a nice way of telling Jennifer what was going on, but also telling new viewers; ‘hey there’s this town called Haven, people do weird things there …’. MMG: Do you know where we shot this scene? GS: I believe it was a real hospital. MMG: It looks like it. GS: I think it was outside Chester. Even though we now have a hospital set on our stages, but we came here because we wanted it to look different, so it could look like Boston. Although I think the next scene, in the parking lot, I think that is in fact Chester.

[Brief interruption as Matt leaves the room to take a phone call] GS: This is the life of an executive producer. You cannot do one thing at once, you have to do ten things at once.

[Duke and Jennifer in the parking lot] GS: Actually, I take it back - the memory is coming back to me; I believe we shot this in Halifax, to give it a big-city feel. Although I could be wrong about that because it is hard to remember.

[As Dave answers the phone to Duke] GS: OK so everyone wants to know what’s the Oprah Winfrey joke - we honestly don’t know. We just thought it would be the most hilarious thing to say, if Dave had some kind of Oprah Winfey thing. And he played it spectacularly. GS: This is the biggest time-cut I think that we’ve done in the series, this is six months since the previous events. We leave a lot of our seasons on these big cliff hangers - two people pointing a gun at each other, or ‘my name is Audrey Parker’, ‘no my name is Audrey Parker’ - and this was one of the few opportunities we had, and we said we could do something cool and do a time-cut.

[As we see Nathan with the bikers outside the diner] GS: Now for all of you Lucas fans out there - the beard. I’ll tell you a little story about the beard. He was actually supposed to have the beard through the first and second episode, and then when he realised he was going to find Audrey and he regained his sense of purpose he was going to shave it. But we ended up doing something called cross-boarding which meant that we shot episodes one and two not in order. So we would shoot some scenes of episode two during the episode one block and vice versa. So we couldn’t have him keep the beard because he couldn’t shoot one scene and have the beard and another scene and not have the beard. So this is the only scene that he has the beard, and it was devastating for Lucas Bryant because he spent all hiatus growing it. But he did a good job; it’s a good beard.

[Matt returns, saying he had to take the call because it was an emergency. Apparently related in some way to the 300 gallon salt-water aquarium he has at home. “That was my fish tank guru.”]

GS: Oh this is - did the slim jim joke stay in? MMG: Yeah, not really. We worked a lot on this slim jim bit and never quite got it where we wanted it.

[Discussing Dwight as Chief and the various names that Adam goes by] GS: We just get excited when we see him on screen because we know that some day he’s going to be a mega-super-star and we’re gonna be like ‘We cast him!’, ‘We had him on our show first!’. GS: I love the three of them together [Dwight and Vince and Dave]. We write a lot of stuff for them and they always totally nail it. MMG: Yep, Edge and the Teague brothers have an ongoing story, particularly Edge and Vince - Dwight and Vince.

[As we see Lexie in the bar] GS: We shot all these bar scenes in a block, with our fun character of Lexie. And for anyone out there who has nothing better to do with their time than thing about things I’ve written in my career; there are quite a few series I’ve worked on that I’ve gotten the name Lexie into. This was the most recent. I’m still trying to work out how many I’m getting screwed out of character payments for though. MMG: And here is season four’s suprising new male lead; Colin Ferguson. Lovely man, tons of fun. He used to do stand-up comedy nights, and when you do a comic con with him, that becomes immediately apparent. He’s very funny, and very clever and just sweet and professional.

[As the Guard welcome Nathan and Duke back to Haven] MMG: Oh this scene was fun, we’re introducing everyone in this episode. So here comes another favourite character of ours; Jordan McKee. The last name is the name of an old girlfriend of mine. GS: This was a very elaborate scene to block and shoot. MMG: Yes, it was. Pretty much any time you have cars stopping on marks and people getting out of car doors, everything gets shockingly complicated. GS: Not to mention we have a great number of our characters here, all in one place. GS: The funny thing about this, is that the tornado is about to go off, and every other day this week that we were filming, it was rainy and cloudy and that whole thing. And the one day we’re going to have a tornado and giant rain storm - beautiful blue crystal skies. That’s the way production goes.

GS: We have realised that the downside to Dwight’s Trouble is that he is in that bulletproof vest a lot. It’s very rare to see him without it. But we’re working on it. MMG: We get him out of everything, season five.

[As the tornado arrives] GS: Our director Shawn Pillar was very excited to blow the steeple off the church here, which is a real church in Lunenberg. And all these leaves were someone from props standing there with a big hefty bag of leaves in front of a giant fan. MMG: And the tornado is the work of Chris Wood GS: Our genius FX guy. MMG: He’s great; he’s a very big part of the show.

GS: Oh yeah the other body found on the beach [that Dwight mentions] that was going to be another Troubled person that we were going to see and we never actually ended up seeing them.

MMG: Adam Copeland came to us largely as a wrestler and it became very clear to us that he had lots of talent as a thespian as well. He’s good with the jokes [His ‘usually’ reply to Jennifer’s comment about police stations being safe]. He can throw away a funny line, and that’s not an easy thing to do.

GS: It’s so funny looking at this a year later and seeing how everyone’s hair and facial hair and everything looks a little bit different. MMG: The boys look great. GS: Yeah. MMG: It’s not a surprise as it’s a television show, but there are some good looking people living up in Haven, Maine.

GS: These bar scenes were fun to shoot. Emily Rose liked it I think, getting to play someone so very different from Audrey. MMG: And one of the reasons we shaped season four the way we did was because Emily had a baby a week or two before we started shooting, so she was out of commission for around the first two months I think of shooting. So we wrote her into all the episodes but - oh this guy [who has just come into the bar with a gun in his belt] he works on the crew, but he’s great - he’s really good in this role and then you see him working on the crew. He’s a really nice guy, and I can’t remember his name right now. He’s a great guy but I’m blanking on his  name because I’m old. Anyway - we had to figure out a way to get Emily into the first few episodes, but shoot all the scenes together and them cut them in in post. So we wrote all these bar scenes in the script and we didn’t shoot any of them when we were shooting the rest of the episode. And then when we got to around episode five or six, we shot what was going to be two days, and then three days, and then four, and I think it turned into six days in this bar. GS: By the way this character’s name [who is pointing a gun at Lexie] is Sinister. GS: This was a fun stunt sequence coming up, Colin rehearsed it quite a bit. MMG: I like the way he takes his glasses off there; he does a great job. Kyle! His name is Kyle [who plays Sinister] GS: Yes! Kyle. Kyle; you’re awesome. We’re just really over-worked and exhausted.

[In the station as Stan and other cop notice the return of Nathan] MMG: So the female cop there, Rebecca Rafferty, is played by the real-life spouse of Lucas Bryant. GS: Kirsty Bryant.

[About the photo of the fulgerite on the beach] MMG: That looked really cool with the hand and everything. GS: I know! It did look really good, we just didn’t have time for the full scene with it. MMG: Yeah, this is one of the whole challenges of production; we had this whole thing written … but we just had to talk about it and show the photo instead. GS: This episode was running really long because we had so much stuff going on with it. MMG: That thing you see in the background there behind Nathan is a popsicle stick lamp, which we’ve all imagined that Nathan built for his dad the Chief. I had a whole backstory for this in my head. There’ a bunch of popsicle-stick lamps in the Chief’s office, and they’re left over from when Nik Campbell was the Chief. [and then they appear to be interrupted by some kind of technical issue and we don’t get any more to this story, sadly]

GS: So as some of you may remember, Marian Caldwell was in the pilot episode, and we thought it would be cool to bring her back and see what happened to her. I think it was in Star Trek when Khan got really mad at Kirk telling him, ‘You fly around the universe, and you never check back in on people after you fix the problem.’ So here at Haven, we do: we come back to see what’s going on. GS: All this frosted breath here is special effects, but it looks really good. MMG: It looks really good. GS: And I like the way they made everything look cold and frosty. MMG: It looks great. And when Marian opens her eyes, it still makes me jump. That was really great, because it looks like she’s dead. GS: She is so good in this scene. We’ve got to bring her back. MMG: Yeah we’ve got to bring her back. Season five. She’s very talented. GS: She looks so mad there. I totally believe that she would freeze you.

MMG: There’s the Teagues and their very short-lived van. GS: Didn’t that explode in real life? Yes, it did. There was a fire in the van. MMG: The van has actually burned in real life. Which I think we used. GS: Yeah, the first thing we thought was ‘Sweet! How can we work that into a story?’

GS: I liked the way they did this reveal [with Conrad in the chair]. And I like how blue all this is. They did a really nice job. It really works with the emotion of the scene. I think when the ice moves, and the breath are CG, and the rest is pretty practical [effects there on the set]. GS: Poor Nathan, he gets beat up this whole season.

MMG: You know, I’ve noticed that Dave never wears his reporter hat any more that he used to love; that hat with the feather like an old timey news man. We need to get him back in that hat. GS: I think we should!

MMG: And there’s the Grey Gull, the world’s coldest place to shoot. GS: But also the most beautiful. MMG: I kind of want to go to a party at the Grey Gull; it looks fun. GS: I think they should open it as a real bar. I guess there’s no running water in it, but. I would totally go. GS: So this is our final introduction for this episode; Duke’s brother. This was chock full of introductions this episode. MMG: There’s a pretty strong resemblance to Mr Crocker there.

MMG: Nice nose-ring. GS: I think she keeps it for a while. MMG: She keeps it the whole time she’s Lexie. GS: That’s right - we wrote a whole scene where it comes out eventually.

[cerullos]

this isn't really in line with the meme but what would a Good series eleven have been like? or how can series twelve turn it around/be better?

hm…………………………re: eleven, the only aspect of eleven’s personality i would change is his needless misogyny, because i don’t think that’s necessarily a “component” of eleven, so much as it is…moffat. and really this would be mostly solved by just eliminating all of the creepy, unsettling scenes where rory and the doctor are mutually possessive over amy or collude somehow in treating her like an object (e.g. vampires of venice when rory thanks the doctor for being needlessly cruel to amy and patronizing her like a child, or when eleven is supposedly only allowed to hug amy for a certain amount of time with rory’s permission lmao and don’t even get me started on the girl who waited). i wouldn’t change some of eleven’s worst tendencies (like his constant, prolonged lies–keeping the ring and rory’s existence from amy in S5, the doppelganger and mystery pregnancy fiasco in S6, etc.) or eleven’s selfishness in valuing amy at least in part for how much she blindly adores him, or even “never let him see the damage. and never, ever let him see you age” and all the kind of hideous implications that come with it. i don’t think eleven is…a good man, and i find that interesting, especially in relation to ten (although the 50th imo horribly wasted that dynamic, which had so much more to give). i like the basic concept of ten in his endless compassion, burdening himself with so much pain that the doctor regenerates into a man who is as equally as selfish as he is loving, who does his best to forget and bury his mistakes instead of acknowledging and atoning for them. 

my issue is literally just that amy isn’t treated as an equal of eleven’s! even putting aside the obvious power imbalance of amy idolizing eleven from childhood, their basic, everyday interactions are weighed so heavily against amy it’s almost painful to watch at times. one way to solve this would be to emphasize and acknowledge the flaws (eleven’s) i mentioned earlier. eleven’s selfishness is alluded to in episodes like the god complex, but always in a way that empathizes with him and absolves him, rather than highlighting amy’s perspective and the ways in which his selfish actions negatively effect her. even when eleven feels pain it isn’t the same as when, say, ten does because eleven always has a loophole…he’s always a hundred steps of everyone else (amy included).

i mean, look at pandorica opens/big bang…rory is furious (rightfully so, obviously) when eleven basically implies amy’s life doesn’t “matter” in the grand scheme of things, but we later find out he’s only saying this because he’s traveling from a future point in time when amy is already alive again and fine. even when he “dies” at the end of big bang, we later learn he knew all along that amy would be able to remember him back into existence. there are no stakes for eleven, he’s too absurdly smart for any to exist. one of the only times he faces consequences is when he loses amy permanently in angels take manhattan, and that’s telling enough in itself. 

compare this w/ clara who’s constantly given teachable moments with twelve even opportunities to outthink twelve! an episode like, say, flatline could never exist with eleven and amy, the dynamic as it is couldn’t support it…eleven beholden to amy, amy acting as undisputed leader. and i’m not saying that amy isn’t smart because she is, and there’s tangible proof of that–but not smarter than eleven–never, not even for a second. that’s the conceit of eleven as a character, untouchable god “the doctor in the tardis, next stop everywhere.” eleven doesn’t defer to amy because it would literally break his character to do so and that imo is the greatest failing of their dynamic. 

the other, obviously, is that amy isn’t given the means to fight back when eleven disrespects or belittles her…and this is just another side of the same coin. amy’s anger is deliberately framed as kind of…impotent. moffat likes the idea of amy as a “spitfire,” but when push comes to shove it’s always expected that she’ll fall into line when the doctor demands it. it’s played for laughs that amy ignores him and does as she pleases (and she does, when the two of them are on friendly terms–like in vincent and the doctor when eleven orders her not to follow) but in life-or-death moments when amy’s life is at stake, she isn’t even allowed to question the doctor’s authority. it’s supposed to be funny when the doctor tells amy to shut up when she says she’s afraid she’s going to die. if rory were to pull that on her, can you imagine how she would react? but moffat deliberately declaws amy around the doctor, and the implications of that are…really unsettling, if you would rather not just attribute it to virulently misogynistic writing (which it also is, of course). clara and twelve have big blowout fights and yet this is pretty starkly absent from eleven and amy’s relationship…she may snipe at him from time to time, but overwhelmingly amy is expected to roll her eyes and huff and storm off and listen. eleven is barely given reason to feel guilty on these occasions, let alone confront or regret his actions. because, again: eleven cannot be wrong. and a doctor that cannot be wrong…inherently has no need of a companion. i mean, think of what donna says to ten: "i think sometimes you need somebody to stop you.” how many times has amy been empowered to successfully “stop” eleven from doing anything, ever. 

the tl;dr on this is that amy needs so much more agency in their relationship than she was given (but what else is new, she needs more agency throughout her run in almost ever aspect of it). i think…there are elements of something really beautiful in their relationship–and amy does love him without qualifications, which is more than can be said of rory, obviously, even if it’s largely because of what eleven represents for her. i think there are moments where eleven regards amy with a kind of reverence, which we see similarly with twelve and clara later, and it’s…touching. if they had expanded on that thread, it might have grown into something that equaled amy’s childhood adoration of eleven–maybe into something that would prompt eleven to value amy’s input a little bit more than he ever seemed to in canon. there’s a lot there that’s good (the basic template is peter and wendy, and i could not possibly love that more if i tried), but the execution is…really poor, really deeply tainted by moffat’s misogyny and it favors eleven to a ridiculous extent. there’s always that sense of discomfort, like the whole relationship is skewed by how imbalanced it is and how frequently amy’s suffering is exploited to fuel eleven’s rage and grief despite the fact that he can’t seem to bring himself to even respect her as a person half the time. 

[rhinoloading62]

Super Smash Flash 2 Download Ultima Version

The program is sometimes distributed under different names, such as 'Super Smash Flash 2 Beta'. The following versions: 1.2, 1.1 and 1.0 are the most frequently downloaded ones by the program users. The latest version of the program can be installed on PCs running Windows 7/8/10, 32-bit. Super Smash Flash 2 1.0.3 Beta is here! It's time to fight with the iconic Nintendo characters, the most powerful warriors from anime universes, and heroes of games from Sega, Capcom, and Bandai. Developed by McLeod Gaming, it's a continuation of the famous Super Smash Flash and one of the largest Flash games ever made.

The most popular Smash fangame on the internet has received its biggest update yet – 3 years in the making!

Are you ready to experience… SUPER SMASH FLASH 2 BETA?

NOTE: This game is still very much a work in progress. If you’d like to assist with the development, please click here.

…Super Smash what? – Super Smash Flash is back! You do remember us, right? The original Smash Bros fangame, most popular for content and difficulty, rather than gameplay, Super Smash Flash was…well, Super Smash in a Flash. It showed very few similarities to the actual Smash Bros gameplay as it was our first game, yet still somehow attracted large crowds of people. Now, with the knowledge we’ve picked up along the way, we’re striving for the utmost quality this time around. Super Smash Flash 2 is not a game made by one person in a month, like SSF1. Super Smash Flash 2 is a game made by hundreds of people over several years. It will be one of the biggest Smash bros fan-games – no. One of the biggest Flash games, to date. We promise.

Is this actually made in Flash? – It is, and one of our major product goals here is to show that Flash is underestimated and underappreciated. If we can make a console-quality game with controller support, online mode, and 10 years worth of custom art, so can you. No other programming interface would allow us the kind of convenience and workflow that we have with Super Smash Flash 2 without custom tools. Flash is incredible for creating video games and animations with a low barrier to entry and an incredibly simple interface. (tl;dr stop calling for Flash to die, jerks)

Why does your game have a Wikipedia page? – I have no idea but we’re really excited about it.

This isn’t listed on Twitch! Can I stream/watch SSF2 Beta live? Unfortunately, Twitch does not list us as a game. We suggest using YouTube Gaming!

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Do you have a Discord? We do! Please note that invitations are not always open, so if the link doesn’t work please check back again later.

Can I use my gamepad? – If your OS recognizes it, and you’ve got drivers… yes! Please note, at this time only the downloadable version of the game (to your right) supports gamepads due to shortfalls and discrepancies in support between the browsers.

Where’s the best place to find matches? – Our partners over at Anther’s Ladder run an awesome chat with matchmaking built right in! Check it out here.

Can you add (insert character here)? – Unfortunately with a game of this scale, we need to plan things out ahead of time so that we can finish the game at some point. At this time we cannot accept content suggestions for this reason. Sorry!

How can I support your development? – We are not accepting any monetary compensation on behalf of Super Smash Flash 2. The best way to support us is to keep playing. It’ll make us happy. Hopefully it’ll make you happy too.

WHERE IS THE FULL VERSION?! – Super Smash Flash 2’s Beta release is our final full-featured update to our public release before the full game. We’re hard at work and well on our way, and we allow you to experience our progress along the way – that is the point of Super Smash Flash 2’s demos.

Are there combos in Super Smash Flash 2? – Absolutely. Super Smash Flash 2 has low landing lag, high hitstun, and high gravity, leading to an exhilarating combo game with lots of mixups that will still feel right at home to those coming from any of the official Smash games – even ones where combos don’t exist. This is one of our major project goals.

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Which Smash game is SSF2 based off of? – Ah, I see you noticed that SSF1 was based off of Melee, huh. Well, think of SSF2 as a Frankenstein. We’re smashing together a “Greatest Hits” type deal with our engine, feel, and aesthetics, but we’re also taking our own creative liberties as well. There’s no definite answer to this question!

Well, in terms of engine? – SSF2’s engine is Frankenstein’d too. At first glance, it’s very reminiscent of Smash 4, actually; some of the more obvious engine aspects will make that clear right away (with the low landing lag, high-ish hitstun, high gravity, etc.) But it goes deeper than that, and this will become more apparent as the game matures and we begin activating our other engine aspects.

Do characters have complete movesets? – Absolutely. Some characters have placeholder animations at the moment, but they will all be remedied before the full release.

Does this work on Mac/Linux? – SSF2 runs better on Mac than on most Windows computers, actually! As far as Linux, you can always play our game using Chrome until we get an executable finished up.

Is online mode planned? – It’s in!! https://rhinoloading62.tumblr.com/post/654800507240677376/thanksgaming-potatoes. 🙂

Super Smash Flash 2 V0.9b

What about L-Cancelling or (insert some complicated Smash Bros-related acronym here)? – Probably not included. As far as L-cancelling though, SSF2 has globally reduced landlag (some call this ALR – Aerial Lag Reduction), and instead of being move-specific, it’s mostly character specific with a few exceptions, ranging from 3 to 12 frames (at 30 FPS). If we gave you L-cancelling, you probably wouldn’t need to use it often.

[urgunnamissmebymytaco]

50, 54, 55, 77, 80 & 94 =)

Listen Tumblr is so broken I barely realized I had a new message and I’m on this thing every day. I literally had to go through my archive to figure out when and which ask this could possibly be and I found one from June. I am so sorry, but here I am 3 months later.

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? i can’t remember? there have been so many things that have made me clutch my side, snort, feel like im seconds away from peeing, ugly laugh for five minutes but I cannot for the life of me remember why we were laughing so hard and i really like that. I like that what I remember are just the warm fuzzy feelings from laughing like a crazy person with my friends and not so much whatever we were laughing at...

54. what did you learn from your first job? My first real job, that I actually got paid real money for, that wasn’t working for my mom was as a part-time personal assistant to the tiny, crazy old lady in LA who was trying to run a business selling educational material for bilingual classes. She paid me $20 an hour and I only worked 4 hours a week. And I learned a lot about how to deal with bosses who expect their vision to be executed without properly explaining what their vision is. Also, how to file taxes and apply for home loans. (i then started working like 2 more part-time jobs, but Leisy was my first boss and I remember her fondly)

55. favorite fairytale? i honestly don’t know? the only one that pops into mind is a version of little red riding hood that my 3rd grade teacher read to us where in the end little red pulls out a revolver and shoots the wolf dead herself. that’s just *chef’s kiss* perfection. but I feel like it doesn’t count?

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill? in my apartment in prague i had a little succulent that lived on my windowsill. I can’t remember what type it was that a friend gave to me and it was so easy to care for and it got fairly big enough that it needed a new pot. I loved it but honestly i like plants with flowers a lot more for windowsills, i’m just terrible at caring for them.

80. earth tones or jewel tones? i had to google this and ima go with earth tones

94. favorite season? winter, hands down. I love the cold. 

thanks for asking! i’m so sorry it took me this long. I put the rest of the question under the keep reading in case anybody else wanted to ask something from the same asks list

WEIRD ASKS THAT SAY A LOT

tr33-g1rl:

in

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

7. earbuds or headphones?

8. movies or tv shows?

9. favorite smell in the summer?

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

12. name of your favorite playlist?

13. lanyard or key ring?

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

18. ideal weather?

19. sleeping position?

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

21. obsession from childhood?

22. role model?

23. strange habits?

24. favorite crystal?

25. first song you remember hearing?

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

28. five songs to describe you?

29. best way to bond with you?

30. places that you find sacred?

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

32. top five favorite vines?

33. most used phrase in your phone?

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

35. average time you fall asleep?

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

38. lemonade or tea?

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

41. last person you texted?

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

44. favorite scent for soap?

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

47. favorite type of cheese?

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

51. current stresses?

52. favorite font?

53. what is the current state of your hands?

56. favorite tradition?

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

62. seven characters you relate to?

63. five songs that would play in your club?

64. favorite website from your childhood?

65. any permanent scars?

66. favorite flower(s)?

67. good luck charms?

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

70. left or right handed?

71. least favorite pattern?

72. worst subject?

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

82. pc or console?

83. writing or drawing?

84. podcasts or talk radio?

84. barbie or polly pocket?

85. fairy tales or mythology?

86. cookies or cupcakes?

87. your greatest fear?

88. your greatest wish?

89. who would you put before everyone else?

90. luckiest mistake?

91. boxes or bags?

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

93. nicknames?

94. favorite season?

95. favorite app on your phone?

96. desktop background?

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

98. favorite historical era?

[crystalelemental]

Okay, now that I've sat on it for a few days, let's talk EO5.  Short version: not my favorite, but not the worst.

Let's start positive.  I've mentioned before that difficulty in this game is either Normal or Hard.  There is no Easy mode.  While that initially freaked me out, their Normal mode seems more like EO4 Easy than the standard difficulty of earlier games.  I cannot express enough how good that is.  If difficulty returned to pre-EO4 days, I'd probably lose interest.  Hell, if I had started the series prior to EO4, I likely wouldn't have kept going.  The series turning to have an Easy mode is honestly what got me invested.  Remember kids: if you want a hardcore challenge game, that's what a Normal or Hard mode is for.  There's no reason there shouldn't be an easier difficulty for ease of access for casual players, and if you refuse to accommodate that, you're basically accepting a significant loss in player base outright.

I'm a big fan of the Master Classes.  I like subclassing better in theory, since it offers more permutations, but let's be honest: you never used anything too outrageous.  In EO3, I don't know that subclasses ever actually did anything (they really never felt that dynamic), and in EO4, almost every class had the definitive best option that you should always pick and none of the others were good.  Imperial and Link Landsknecht wanted Runemaster for extra element damage, Arcanist wanted Medic, Runemaster wanted Imperial for even more bonus element damage, Bushi wanted Nightseeker to dual-wield, Dancer wanted Nightseeker to dual-wield for maximum normal attacks, etc.  You really didn't deviate much, and outside of the Fortress and Sniper, I can't think of any classes that didn't have a definitive optimal subclass.  So having two options, both of which are good in their own right and can fit on different planned-out teams, is divine.  I really like how they're split up, too.  Dragoon, which is always more of a tank class, now has an offensive option with the cannon.  Botanist, which usually just heals, has a status-based option.  Harbinger, which was expected to be mostly just hitting status, has an option for debuffs and healing now, and it's awesome.  Classes are really cool, and having your own unique titles for characters?  That's basically all I could ever ask for.

As a smaller thing, I'm also a huge, huge fan of the new level cap increasing monsters.  The Dragons can be neat, but at this phase of life, I'm really over dragons.  They're not that cool, and why are they always the strongest beings at everything?  Find a different creature, dammit!  And find it they did, with the Dryad and the Lamia.  Dryad is like...my ideal, since I love plant girls.  Lamia is super bizarre, but I adore it just the same.  I think this set is a lot more interesting overall than the elemental dragons, and honestly, a lot more fair.  The elemental dragons, on harder difficulties, basically came down to "You'd best have negation of an element for the party or you're dead when they use this attack."  That doesn't happen with these three.  Dryad has a first turn attack that can potentially wipe most if not all of the party, but I only ever saw it one time in the whole fight, which is a lot more manageable.

Lastly, I really like that there are small events in the labyrinth that give experience now.  There were always small events, and they were always great, but the fact that it's been adapted to give extra EXP is divine.  I love that this works for all sorts of events.  My only complaint is that the sixth stratum basically has 0 such events.  It makes sense.  You're not exact in a place for these kinds of events to occur, but it's still frustrating that we have an entire stratum with like...nothing to do but go forward.  Which leads well into the complaints segment.

I really did not enjoy exploring stratum 5 and stratum 6.  Stratum 5 was okay at the start, but the hovering puzzles...were not fun.  You go flying all around the map and it's really hard to keep track of what the fuck is going on as you're zipping around without control.  Neat idea, but not my favorite in execution. Stratum 6 can fuck right off, though.  I'm not a fan of warp puzzles, but they can be done well.  I'm mostly thinking of things like Misty Ravine in EO4, where the "warps" were mostly just reaching the edge of the map and circling back around. It's easy to keep track of, and you can visually see how it works on the map with a few notes.  Stratum 6 does not do this.  It offers a bunch of different colored warp portals, that don't even necessarily warp you to the same colors of portal. They don't even warp you to the same floor, or to the same general area on the floor they warp you to.   It's a convoluted mess that is virtually impossible to keep track of by any means you have with map-making, and frankly, I didn't even explore everything.  There are a few holes in my maps on some of those floors, and honestly?  Fuck it.  I don't even care.  It's so impossible to keep track, and the shortcuts do nothing to mitigate the problems of having multiple portals available, but having most of them throw you outside the area you were trying to explore and having to start all over.  The worst is a succession of 7 portals, all in a row, on floor 26.  One leads to the exit, one leads to another series of portals only one of which leads to treasure that then boots you out of the exploring zone, and the other 5 are worthless.  Look.  I know good level design requires dead ends, otherwise there's no real need to explore anything.  But there is a difference between a dead end that means backtracking a bit, and "you randomly chose the wrong portal in a 1/7 chance gamble, time to redo 10-15 minutes of work to get back to this gamble with slightly improved odds of success."  Yes, looking at your map can help you identify which one might be the correct one.  But this is just stupid, and I don't like it.

In a related vein to "stupid and I don't like it," the plot.  EO5 follows a lot of conventions, and in my mind is almost regressive, going from the more open feeling of EO4's exploration with smaller but numerous dungeons to the standard "technically one dungeon with 6 strata, all 5 floors in length."  It even keeps the locked door bonus areas, the superboss on floor 8 with the town task of figuring out how to get around it, etc.  I'm fine with this, since the formula works either way, but of all the conventions to drop, why drop the one about Yggdrasil being a human-made construct to reverse environmental calamity?  I know EO3 did a separate thing too, but guess what?  That one also wasn't great. It was, by far, the most confusing and poorly put-together.  The true ending boss' motivations weren't so much complex and "make your own interpretations" as it was...just a mess, and contradictory all the time.  But at least they tried.  At least they established the two sides in the conflict and what was going on.  At least they explained the final boss, and tried to explain the final boss.  EO5 doesn't even bother.  "Yeah, the final boss is this dark dragon thing that is the enemy of humanity you must overcome."  ...why?  Yggdrasil's been here forever, and it hasn't wiped out our race yet.  Hell, if we'd never gone up here, there wouldn't be an issue.  You talked about the war that happened in the third stratum, but that's never elaborated on.  Why was it significant?  And then there's my eternal issue with aliens.  I do not mind aliens.  I mind when they're treated as something above humans, and the ones "guiding" humanity forward, like the arken are implied to be.  Fuck off, that's a stupid premise, and you don't even explain where you came from or why.   You're just there.  And that's the issue with the higher strata: everything is just there.  With no rhyme or reason, things are just there.  There's a war.  It was super important, but we're not gonna tell you about it.  There's a deadly dragon thing at the top of the tree you need to kill.  It's super important you kill it, but we're not gonna tell you exactly why.  The Arken watch over humans and guide you forward.  They're super important, but their motivations and reasons for being here aren't.  It's all really bland and unimpressive.

Maybe I've been spoiled by EO4, where plot came at you in consistent and small chunks, with the extra dungeon giving a ton of backstory depending on how well you explore.  Maybe EO2U did the same, with the explanations of what was happening.  Maybe I'm just really, really attached to the concept of environmental calamity and human efforts to curb the inevitable, and the fallout from their efforts.  This game just...really felt hollow to me.  The story aspect and even the character aspect just feels very limited, and it doesn't feel as engaging.  Add to it a very frustrating final and extra stratum to explore, and there's not as much to keep me invested.  I'll replay it again, probably to mess around with the classes since I love doing that.  But it's...very not as great as most others.  I still think EO3 is my least favorite.  But this one is also not a particularly strong entry of the series in my mind.

[velvet-tread]

The Wire and Breaking Bad are generally considered two of the best television shows of all time, which leads to many comparisons (that and the drug thing) despite their differences. Do you prefer one over the other and what do you think each does better than the other?

Cards on the table it’s been approximately 3 years since Ifinished The Wire and I struggle to remember actual character names beyond TeenyFurniture Policeman, Flaming House/Aunt Kid, Slackjawed Stevedore, FailedNepotism Project, Greek in Hat etc etc.  Therewere a great many characters and I cannot be expected to retain that level ofinformation for too long.

Although my heart is forever changed by

On the other hand, Breaking Bad is probably my fave favestshow of all time and I’ve seen it three times (probably? Maybe more?) so I amacutely familiar with everyone in it and everything that happens and why andall the theories and meta surrounding it. And while I enjoyed the Wire a lot andadmire its scale and ambition and recognise its importance, it didn’t inspireme to immerse myself in it post-viewing in the same way, so anything I say heremay already have been covered by critics/meta writers elsewhere.

Caveats over.

So, the short answer is that I love Breaking Bad the mostbecause it is an intense character study with themes and characters that Iconnected with hard. The show is an expertly crafted piece of TV and everythingabout it – the characterisation, the narrative, the acting, the editing, thecinematography, the symbolism, the dialogue, the tension, the pacing – EVERYTHINGABOUT IT IS SO PERFECT AND ICONIC I COULD CRY WITH JOY.  It’s quite rare for me to find a piece of artthat I want to drown in that is also so faultless in its execution.  My relationship with art, especially TV, isoften quite fractious. I often love things despite all their faults (*cough*the 100 *cough* the X Files *cough* The Hunger Games), usually because I fallin love with some element that surmounts everything else.  So it was such a glorious experience for meto connect emotionally with a show whilst also revelling in my boner for epiclandscapes and crafty camerawork and snappy dialogue and the word “bitch”delivered without irony.

But honestly, while these two shows cover similar topics(i.e. individual choices and the axis of cause and effect) in a similar context(i.e. gangs and drugs), I think they sought to achieve different things so Ifind it quite hard to make a comparison. Breaking Bad is compact character study, centred around two maincharacters and around 7 supporting characters of varying impact (I rank Hankand Skylar highest because they had their own threads).  Although I frequently rave about the beautyof the cinematography  - and seriously,whoever does their location scouting deserves cookies for life – the show is sotight it could be staged as a theatre production quite easily and honestly I’msurprised that nobody has already.  

The Wire, by contrast, is a huge sprawling tapestry with alarge cast of players operating across several different sets, in fact many ofthe characters never meet or know of the existence of the others.  The stories are superficially intertwined,but only so far as all of the characters are operating in the same space(Baltimore) and are subject to the same Baltimore-specific pressures. By comparison,the consequences of the choices of the characters in Breaking Bad are clearlydelineated – from the small - Jesse and Jane’s spiral into heroin addiction-  to the big – Walt’s desire for moreterritory resulting in Jesse’s breakdown, Combo’s death, Jane’s death and thedeaths of the 300 or so people killed in the aircraft collision brought on bythose events. These consequences are repeatedly reinforced by some pretty epicsymbolism – the pink teddy bear that pops up all over the plane crash scenario,for instance, and the plane crash itself which Vince Gilligan describes assymbolic of the chaos and violence Walt is raining down on everyone in hisorbit.

In fact, the main difference between the two shows, in myopinion, can be found in how they address the question of choice andagency.  The Wire is heavily weightedtowards inevitability, and the endless cycle of violence, corruption and miserythat will perpetuate forever, as will the forces that work against them.  And so the end of the show sees Jimmy McNultyhanging up his badge, and Kima Greggs taking up the mantle as the BPD’sresident maverick.  Omar Little ends updead in a convenience store, but we witness the forces of corruption pushhonourable Michael Lee down the same path. Likewise, Avon Barksdale spends thesecond half of the series fighting to retain his crumbling kingdom as youngpretender Marlon Stansfield poaches his crown. And so on and so forth. Themessage you’re left with is not bleak exactly, because for all the evil andhorror in the Wire’s tapestry there is also goodness and beauty, but a sense ofimpotence because all the protagonists’ efforts to effect change resulted innothing because they cannot upset the balance. Nevertheless, their efforts are also necessary because they alsoprevented a complete descent into chaos and evil. So, it’s a stalemate, a harshlesson in realpolitik.  Don’t stop whatyou’re doing, but don’t expect to change anything ever.   Theforces at play are greater than any one of us.

By contrast, Breaking Bad infers far greater agency upon itscharacters.  What each character does hasgreat and severe meaning. To pluck one random example out of the air: Jesse’sdecision to expose Jane to his crystal meth habit was an active choice.  Yes, it was a choice made under pressure –and a choice influenced by other people’s choices too – but it was still achoice.  And that choice has consequencesfor him and for her.  Because once Janewitnesses him in his drug-fuelled spiral, it’s not long before she joins himand then – oh their gentle hearts – she brings her own demons to the table,which in turn take them both on a path that ends in tragedy.  When Jane dies, he makes that connectionbetween his choices and her demise – “I loved her and I killed her” - even asWalt turns away from his own role in her death. The scene where Walt and Mike go to scrape Jesse off the floor of thatcrack den remains one of my favest moments of the show as a Jesse stan. Thereis something really beautiful to me about the fact that Jesse – who lacks allof the qualities that make Walt Heisenberg – has a clarity about who he is andthe responsibility he must carry, while Walt cannot see himself for who hetruly is.  Jesse has wisdom where Walthas delusion.

In fact, the show’s entire premise is that Heisenberg wasnever inevitable.  Initially, we’renudged into rolling along with Walt’s fallacy that he has “no choice” but to dothe things he does, but season by season the myth is dismantled.  Anyone who was still rooting for Walt by thebeginning of s5 -witness me judging you.

You’ll notice I use the word tapestry a few times inrelation to the Wire.  I use it deliberatelybecause it’s the same word I’ve heard David Simon, the Wire’s creator use (andnow I can’t find a reference – ugh – you’re gonna have to trust me) and this,tbh, is where I have some pretty major beef with The Wire.  Because the quote I saw (and it may not havebeen Simon, but someone else associated with the show) was something along thelines of “it’s a tapestry of how we all live together”. And by “all”, thatperson meant “all people in possession of a penis” because LORD SAVE US thatshow is heavily weighted towards people of the male persuasion. Now, I’m not gonnashit on it from a great height because it did a great job of telling stories ofmen of colour from all walks of life and it gave some amazing black actors aplatform but YOU DO NOT GET TO CALL YOURSELF A SOCIAL TAPESTRY AND THEN LEAVEOUT 50% OF THE POPULATION. The whole time we were in the school, I was like….But what are the girls doing?  When wewere with the Baltimore Sun – again – one single low-level female reporter?  Kima Greggs, obviously, gets an honourablemention as OFFICIALLY THE BEST but otherwise the entire police department isjust a dick fest. Same with the political infrastructure, in which PoliceChief’s Wife who is also running for office is literally characterised as…Police Chief’s Wife. Oh, and apparently there are no females in the teachingprofession in Baltimore. So. I know this was shot 15 years ago but still. Notcool, Simon. Not cool.

Anyway:

[thelegendofclarke]

In Roman mythology Janus stands for doors, beginnings, winter, journey etc. He's also double faced (Lord Slynt to the Wall, she had forgotten herself and said, "I hope the Others get him." The king had not been pleased)Janos is singularly important in Sansa&Jon's arcs He also connects them narrativly Since JonSa have a lot of parallels (arc&also personality wise) can you talk a bit Janus symbolism& what Janos Slynt mean for Jon/Sansa 1/2

2/2 Hope I made some sense (Please feel free to put on the shipper goggles) Plz give Napa a hug from me. I love your blog btw

Hey Anonny! That is so sweet, I am so flattered you like my little trash compactor of a blog :)

Ok so I ~might~ be on a bit of a different page than you with this. I definitely agree that the Janos/Janus connection and the symbolism associated with the god Janus is present in Jon’s arc. I also agree that Janos Slynt connects Jon and Sansa’s arcs (“Edd fetch me a block” makes me ~swoon~ every gd time lol). However, I don’t necessarily think that those two things are related or connected in any way, if that makes sense?

I’m going to attempt to explain myself, so hopefully it will…  

Janos Slynt/Janus and Jon Snow

So yeah, it’s like you were saying, Janus in Roman mythology is a two-faced god. Here’s what he looks like for anyone who is wondering…

Janus is the god of beginnings and transitions, gates, doors, doorways, endings, and time. He is a two-faced god because he is supposed to be looking to the future and the past. I think Janus symbolism and Janos Slynt’s execution are really important because of when and how they occur in Jon’s arc:

Janos Slynt’s execution is the in same chapter as Maester Aemon’s famous line to Jon, “kill the boy and let the man be born.”

Janos Slynt’s execution is Jon’s first execution and his first major act as Lord Commander.

“You will have little joy of your command, but I think you have the strength in you to do the things that must be done. Kill the boy, Jon Snow. Winter is almost upon us. Kill the boy and let the man be born.“ — Maester Aemon in ADwD (Jon II)

“Kill the boy and let the man be born” kind of becomes Jon Snow’s ~mantra~ for a while after this. To me this was always the beginning of Jon Snow’s transition from a boy to a man and being Lord Commander. It seems like the beginning of a new chapter in his life. So the transition and beginnings symbolism associated with Janus makes a lot of sense here. It’s like the two-faced god is looking backward at Jon’s past and forward at his future.

I suppose there could be a similar theme in Sansa’s arc associated with Janos Slynt and Ilyn Payne beheading Ned. Her father’s death marked the clear and tragic end of Sansa’s life as she knew it, and (understandably) lead to a great deal of disillusionment:

“Once she had loved Prince Joffrey with all her heart, and admired and trusted her his mother, the queen. They had repaid that love and trust with her father’s head. Sansa would never make that mistake again.” — Sansa, ACoK

So I guess you could say that Janos Slynt was also associated with the end of Sansa’s childhood and one chapter of her life. But I think that connection and symbolism is much more prevalent within Jon’s arc in relation to Janos.  

Janos Slynt and Jon/Sansa

So here are those two passages that send every Jon/Sansa shippers’ heart ~*a flutter*~

Frog-faced Lord Slynt sat at the end of the council table wearing a black velvet doublet and a shiny cloth-of-gold cape, nodding with approval every time the king pronounced a sentence. Sansa stared hard at his ugly face, remembering how he had thrown down her father for Ser Ilyn to behead, wishing she could hurt him, wishing that some hero would throw him down and cut off his head. But a voice inside her whispered, There are no heroes… — Sansa VI, AGoT

“I will not hang him,” said Jon. “Bring him here.” “Oh, Seven save us,” he heard Bowen Marsh cry out. The smile that Lord Janos Slynt smiled then had all the sweetness of rancid butter. Until Jon said, “Edd, fetch me a block,” and unsheathed Longclaw. — Jon II, ADwD

We already knew Jon was a hero. But here specifically, I think that this means he could be Sansa’s hero; and this is significant because Sansa no longer believes in heroes. First, Sansa has pretty much completely abandoned her beliefs in the Knights and Heroes in the songs and fairy tales of her youth, the type of knights and heroes men like Joffrey, Loras Tyrell, and Jaime Lannister were supposed to be. Secondly, her new view on what would be a “heroic act” is nothing like the jousting, hand kissing and flower tossing she used to be charmed by. In fact, her new ideas on what would be a heroic act are far more violent and gruesome, and actually pretty distinctly Northern. 

Compare Sansa’s thoughts: 

“Sansa stared hard at his ugly face, remembering how he had thrown down her father for Ser Ilyn to behead, wishing she could hurt him, wishing that some hero would throw him down and cut off his head.” — Sansa VI, AGoT

to this line by Ned:

“Yet our way is the older way…we hold to the belief that the man who passes the sentence should swing the sword. If you would take a man’s life, you owe it to him to look into his eyes and hear his final words. And if you cannot bear to do that, then perhaps the man does not deserve to die.” — Ned Stark in AGoT (Bran I)

Ned’s beliefs in justice the “old way”/the Northern way are carried on by Robb:

Robb took the poleaxe from his hand and ordered him to step aside. “This is my work,” he said. “He dies at my word. He must die by my hand.”…“Rickard Karstark, Lord of Karhold.” Robb lifted the heavy axe with both hands. “Here in sight of gods and men, I judge you guilty of murder and high treason. In mine own name I condemn you. With mine own hand I take your life. Would you speak a final word?” “Kill me, and be cursed. You are no king of mine.” The axe crashed down. Heavy and well-honed, it killed at a single blow, but it took three to sever the man’s head from his body, and by the time it was done both living and dead were drenched in blood. Robb flung the poleaxe down in disgust, and turned wordless to the heart tree. He stood shaking with his hands half-clenched and the rain running down his cheeks. Gods forgive him, Catelyn prayed in silence. He is only a boy, and he had no other choice. —AGoT, Catelyn III

And then, instead of hanging Slynt like he had originally intended, Jon Snow does pretty much exactly what Sansa wished some hero would do:

If Slynt did not wish to go to Greyguard as its commander, he could go as its cook. It will only be a matter of time until he deserts, then. And how many others will he take with him? “—and hang him,” Jon finished.…This is wrong, Jon thought. “Stop.” Emmett turned back, frowning. “My lord?” “I will not hang him,” said Jon. “Bring him here.” “Oh, Seven save us,” he heard Bowen Marsh cry out.The smile that Lord Janos Slynt smiled then had all the sweetness of rancid butter. Until Jon said, “Edd, fetch me a block,” and unsheathed Longclaw.…“This will go easier if you stay still,” Jon Snow promised him. “Move to avoid the cut, and you will still die, but your dying will be uglier. Stretch out your neck, my lord.” The pale morning sunlight ran up and down his blade as Jon clasped the hilt of the bastard sword with both hands and raised it high. “If you have any last words, now is the time to speak them,” he said, expecting one last curse. Janos Slynt twisted his neck around to stare up at him. “Please, my lord. Mercy. I’ll … I’ll go, I will, I …” No, thought Jon. You closed that door. Longclaw descended. — Jon II, ADwD

I’m not saying that this necessarily must have romantic significance, but I really do think it’s significant. Sansa has been pretty violently disabused of all of her romantic notions and beliefs that there are Heroes or Good Men left in this world. In some cases they were quite literally beaten out of her… Jon specifically did what Sansa wished and hoped a Hero and a Good Man would do. And he is the only character in the series that will have done that heroic act. 

Jon Snow is “some hero.”

It honestly kind of reminds me of Sophie Turner’s quote about how in GoT S7 Jon will “restore Sansa’s faith in men.” If Sansa ever learns about how Jon beheaded Janos Slynt, it could help her believe in heroes again. 

[joie-university-rp]

Dear BEATRIX SYLVESTER,

It is with great pleasure we invite you admission to Joie University! Welcome to the Thunderclap family!

–

Congratulations, JAY! Please be sure to check the New Members’ Checklistand send in your character’s account within 24 hours from now. We cannot wait to see all that you will bring to this roleplay! We love you already!

OOC INFORMATION:

Name/Alias; preferred pronouns: Jay; They/them

Age, Timezone: 23, CST

Activity, short explanation: 6 out of 10. I’m in my last year of school and also have a campus job, so I won’t be around during the mornings and sometimes afternoons.

Ships: Beatrix/chemistry

Anti-Ships: Beatrix/no chemistry

Triggers: RFP

Preferred photo for Character’s ID (please give a link): tumblr_pv7skhXd1P1tq1us5o3_400.png

Anything else: I know I sent this well after the acceptance time and I’m not expecting to get accepted today, I just wanted to get my app in.

IC INFORMATION:

Full Name (First, Middle, Last): Beatrix Louise Sylvester

FC: Zoë Kravitz

Age/Year at University (Freshman [1st Year], Sophomore, Junior, Senior, or Graduate Student): 25/Junior

Birth date: September 4th, 1994

Hometown (please be sure to check the hometowns listed for characters your muse is related to!): Lima, Ohio

Gender/Pronouns: Cisfemale & she/her

Sexuality: Pansexual Demiromantic

Major(s): Physics

Minor(s) [optional]: Astrophysics & Computer and Information Science

Housing request (remember, only the president of a Greek Organization is required to live at a Greek House to be in it!): Sylvester Apartments triple

Extracurriculars (Click here for the list. Be sure to specify any executive board positions [i.e. president, secretary, etc.] If something isn’t listed, please put it here and we will add it to the masterlist!): Art Club, Science Club, World Languages, Cheer & Volleyball

Greek Life Affiliation [optional] (Please be sure to specify any executive board positions [i.e. president, pledge educator, etc.] or if your character is not yet a member, but plans to rush): None

CHARACTER PROFILE:

[At least] 3 Headcanons for your character:

[Triggers: mentions of addiction, drugs & alcohol]

Born to a drug-addicted mother and an absentee father, Beatrix had already been dealt a bad hand when it came to the game of life, yet she didn’t let it get her down. Despite having to grow up and be her own caretaker, she was always an enthusiastic child regardless of what life threw at her. Part of her wished she could have more than the money she begged for and the things she stole, but she knew a life other than the one she was living was only a pipe dream. But it seemed the universe had been listening to her because the events that lead to her adoption was like a dream come true and quite possibly the best moment of her life. She never would have assumed that attempted burglary would be how she got a family, but that day revealed that Sue Sylvester wasn’t as mean or ruthless as everyone made her out to be, at least in the eyes of six-year-old Beatrix. (Even more so considering she was sure Sue was going to make her change her name.)

Carrying the Sylvester name came with its perks but there were more downfalls than she could have ever imagined. Because of her upbringing, Beatrix had always found it easy to speak her mind regardless of what came out of it. She never meant to cause any harm with her words but sometimes things would come out a lot harsher than she intended, so she had a bit of a tough time making friends. Due to her standoffish and sometimes rude behavior, people often assumed she was just like her mother despite the lack of relation, so she began to change her personality to fit their narrative. Joining the cheer team and embracing her inner bitch weren’t the best decisions she could’ve made. In fact, they made her feel like less of herself each day, but it did help in terms of her making a few friends. The attitude change opened a lot of doors for her, most notably, a cheer scholarship to attend the University of Kentucky. If she were thinking with her head instead of her heart, Beatrix would have gotten the education she needed right out of high school, but instead took this as a chance to “rebel” and move out to California.

Her move was frowned upon, but in order to stay in her mother’s good graces, she attended the University of Southern California so it would appear as if she was doing more than just having a good time. Freshmen year in a new state went off without a hitch. Beatrix was happy with her classes, making friends with just about everyone and even genuinely enjoying her time on the cheer squad. Though her focus began to wane when she was introduced to the partying lifestyle. It started with just a few parties here and there accompanied with a horrible hangover the next morning, but as her second year approached she cared more about having fun and getting drunk than she ever did about school. She cared about it so much that she managed to get a job as a stripper as a way to make up for the partying she wasn’t doing.

Life as a dancer got boring real fast, but Beatrix needed to make a living now that she was no longer in school so she kept at it. After a year of spending her life in the club, she was approached by a man claiming to be an agent, who told her he could give her a life that didn’t revolve around dancing for money. She didn’t believe him at first but she still decided to humor him, and it surprisingly worked in her favor. Beatrix never thought she would ever be a model, and in the beginning, she was sure the man was some sort of con artist until she saw her face in the Sears catalog. It took her a while to get adjusted to life in the industry, but once she was in it she was beyond comfortable. She didn’t even let her career take off before she found herself back where she started. Smoking, drinking and doing drugs became her life again as she began to blow off photoshoots. Beatrix didn’t realise she needed help until she woke up one day in an entirely different city with little to no idea as to how she got there.

Finally accepting that she wasn’t ready for a life in the city of angels, she packed up what little she had left and moved back to Ohio. She never went into detail as to why she came back and she had planned to keep it that way. Instead of seeing what the workforce had in store for her, she decided to try her hand at college again. It helped that she was back with family now so she felt a little more grounded than she had before. Beatrix managed to get her credits transferred from USC to Joie so she could stay close to home and get another fresh start on her college career. Although the’s not too keen about having to be around the life she left, she’s looking forward to going back to the girl she used to know.

STUDENT CENSUS SURVEY:

(Please answer the following questions IN CHARACTER. Responses can be as long or short as you see fit!)

What made you want to attend Joie University? “Since my decision to move back home it seemed like the most logical choice if I’m being honest, and the easiest if you consider the fact that my mom is an alumnus.”

What are at least 3 positive or neutral and at least 3 negative traits that you believe you possess? “Well, let’s see. I’m resilient, extremely versatile, and I’m pretty loyal if I trust you enough. I also like the think I’m pretty generous but that’s up for debate. There are quite a few words that come to mind when it comes to my negative traits, but instead of naming everything that’s wrong with me I’ll just let you know that I’m blunt, indecisive and extremely cynical.”

Which of your traits do you value most? “I for one really enjoy my bluntness. It might not be anyone else’s most valued trait, but being able to say what you feel right on the spot without trying to sugarcoat it is truly a gift. Do you know how many people wish they could say what they’re thinking more often but can’t? It’s crazy!”

How can that trait benefit the University (or its student body) as a whole? “Maybe I could help people learn to speak their mind without mentally debating if it’s a good idea or not. A closed mouth never gets fed, so saying what you need to say when you need to say it is sometimes better than saying nothing at all.”

What do you hope to gain from your experience at JU? “The value of friendship as cheesy as it may sound. I don’t think I’ve had an actual friend that’s not family since high school.“

What is a quote or song lyric that describes you? “I’m not heartless, I’ve just learned how to use my heart less.”

[disarmingly]

fanfic asks i’m going to post answers in numerical order as i got some numbers asked twice which is cool but i definitely am the idiot who will lose track if i don’t do it in number order! also i’ll throw it under a read-more bc i tend to get rambly and so it all gets quite long! like seriously i apologize i wanted to give it my all but like i may have written too much >_<;;;

i'm gonna preface with: i was confused by these first two because i thought is this the same question but then figured maybe 3 was ff and 4 is not ff? T_T;;;;

3 [ name three favorite writers ]

the truth is i admire a lot of people and not all of them actually post their work unfortunately. however, xiajin ( @j-ungah)  is one who does, for which i am very grateful. it's easier though for me to say the THINGS i like best i.e. i really admire people who do humor in…how do i say it? ah well it's best for me when it's fluid within other feelings -- like the lightheartedness makes the punches and ups and downs of other aspects of their stories just shine? i am fairly unskilled with lightness/humor and i am repeatedly and eternally in awe of people who weave that facet of the heart into their narratives so believably. ^^;; i also admire what i think of as a seven-sense experience -- which is to say something about a writer whose descriptions dialogues and everything in-between??? create a thing i feel hear smell taste see, yes, but also a thing i dream, i thing i wake up to or from….that kind of suspension of my reality. ^^;;; which just smacks of escapism i know hahakjsfsdlfds OTL but it is what i like! some other part of why i don't have a lot of names rn is that when i'm focusing on writing i don't read as much fic? and on the flipside when i'm not trying to write then i read like everything under the sun thrice over ^^;;; but i've been in writing/trying to write-mode since i posted This Time Around so…yeah!  

4 [ name three authors that were influential to your work and tell why ]

this is really hard! but i left out one writer on my past book rec list so i'll mention him here. john steinbeck! i know that most people/schools/etc tout him for grapes of wrath T_T;;; but like….i tried really hard to like it for a friend who is basically married to that book and i just…couldn't? i tried with of mice and men too but that book is like being beaten up by the written word and no one to patch you up afterward. but. BUT! let. me. tell. you.

east of eden

this book is falling apart like i've read it until it's shreds and i don't wanna give up the copy i have because like…i have so many notes in it? i have dates written down and things i don't remember ever writing or what they reference but getting a new one would be like…idk i can't do it yet. i'll have to soon just bc i carry it around everywhere and i need it but..this book, warrants steinbeck being mentioned in and of itself. if you haven't read it, i cannot rec it enough. like i am not honestly a huge fan of anything outside of fantasy or science fiction but this is my exception. no amount of applauding is going to do it justice. but suffice to say he's got this wickedly good balance of ideas, execution, emotion, and rationale and i just feel so much it is a book that HURTS and yet i kind of…what's it like? it's like if it took me years and years to climb a tree just to see what i can see from the top, then learning to climb back down. sitting under that tree. feeling…like a conversation happened?

T_T i ramble but yeah. john steinbeck's east of eden.

other than that: diana wynne jones, CLAMP (cries forever), cs lewis  

6 [ how did writing change you? ]

before i wrote i drew and i painted, which i find hilarious now because lolololol what IS visual art, it’s hard work and talent hybridized with quality hearts (me: /stares at all my fave fanartists for real) kdsfdsfdlsfjlds but yeah uh writing happened because i loved reading. i thought: these things make me feel less displaced in the universe, if only a little. ah well, more to the point, writing in and of itself changes me in every day life almost to a fault: i think a LOT about what i say, even when i’m perceivably rambling. i over-think it too. writing in every-day life makes even the most awkward cat potato (me) better able to hold a normal conversation, which come to that isn’t the MOST important thing, but it is a thing that changed because before writing i basically stood still and tried to hide in my own shadow (unsuccessfully btw.) now i stand very still, hope no one talks to me, but am able to at least talk back if they do ^^;; 

if this question means how did ff writing change me otherwise...is it stupid to say on several times, writing ff has saved me? is it melodramatic? probably. i think it does though. i’ve said several times i don’t do wonderfully in-person (ability to converse even so) and it’s painfully true. i don’t know that i believe i ever will. i’m in plainest terms, too afraid. ff writing has given me opportunity to connect with people despite my shortcomings in this way though. sometimes someone says they related to a certain thing or they feel content or a familiar sadness but not in a bad way and that is So Much to me. like can you imagine being in complete darkness and seeing a small light in the sky or the ground or the sea suddenly? that’s what those are.

so writing is helping me change, i hope, from someone who has had the growing fear of being lost forever, to being a little less lost, a little less unworthy. to be fair, writing in and of itself for me is often a lost feeling but those sparks of Found are irreplaceable and whether they happen when i write or when someone responds to the writing, i carry them with me to the best of my ability. because they’re precious. because i need them. and i’m grateful. 

writing separate from ff is something i also hope will change me, but i have yet to figure out a way to share that and for now i have a lot of stories on my Intentions to try to actualize, so my side poetry is a sidecar project and that’s okay.

11 [ do you listen to music when writing? ]

yes! in fact i tend to make playlists for my stories when i’m done usually consisting of what i listened to….even if that's a silly thing to do ^^;; i think about sharing them sometimes haha but it’d be linking a bunch of youtube links so idk if that’s dumb sdlkedfsoijlefdjoslk sometimes it’s bangtan and often it’s movie scores i.e. ghibli stuff ....oh and video game osts too!!! a hodgepodge! 

12 [ favorite place to write ]

home because i need as much control over my environment as possible. i honestly don't understand how people can get any writing done outside in the city because it's like one massive attention-deficit lmfdlsfdsfkdsjl but kudos to the people who can…!

13 [ hardest character to write ]

LMFSLKFUOIJWFLSK gosh um…i think for me the way i would phrase this is that the character i am most nervous writing???  yoongi. he features predominantly in my writing because i find his transparency about his journey(s) relatable and something to always be grateful for. unfortunately being relatable presents the ever present pitfall possibility of projecting onto someone, which i don't want to do. even when writing him as a character, i still want him to resonate true to the real deal in as much as possible in the world created or the canon suggested. i want to do right by him, very badly, and for better or worse that means i can almost never enjoy writing him because i'm so worried the whole time. the moment of peace is when i either post or delete, but both leave an uneasy feeling if i'm honest, and perhaps that's always going to be true -- with my favorite people and my favorite ideas i guess.

14 [ easiest character to write ]

like 13 i'm cheating and changing this to the character i'm least anxious writing and that would be namjoon. i love him a lot but for whatever weird reason i'm not having heart palpitations every time i have to write a line of dialogue for him. is it because i've watched and read everything of him the most? not really. i think i've re-visited more kookie things out of all of the ot7, but namjoon has a vibe i get, a wavelength i'm on almost all the time and i can't quite explain it since it's not like i'm talking about a person i personally Know. but what i mean is, i feel like i do? he makes me feel comfortable with him at the colloquial level both verbally and emotionally so i don't overthink him as much as i do say yoongi, jungkook, and hoseok -- all beloved but also sharp points of vulnerability for me.  

17 [ favorite AU to write ]

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh….well. the way it's phrased it feels like it means ongoing AU??? which would be time and again drabbles supplementary to This Time Around (the initial oneshot).... (even tho from hereon out everything else will transpire BEFORE the current chapter up lololololol way to be confusing right) but if it just means like what universe, period, huh gosh. all your stars are my stars too au probably.

20 [ favorite character to write ]

i CAN'T pick

21 [ least favorite character to write ]

i don't have one unless you count 'difficult' as leas favorite but that's really not true for me s-so...

22 [ favorite story you’ve ever written ]

?_? ahhh the story closest to my heart?    tie between all your stars are my stars too verse, and this time around verse. haha i keep picking those two but honestly despite being two very different worlds the pulse is actually the same.

23 [ least favorite story you’ve ever written ]

so far away

still disappointed in myself because to this day i don't know what i can do to make it better i just know it could be and it's so specific i just don't look at it anymore. it is by far the one i've revised the most and i'm sure that's weird haha...but it means so much to me...if it was a friend in my past, this story would be the friend i should have done more for, didn’t, couldn’t, and will regret until i can either come up with an answer or just have to square with said regret and say we don’t always get it the way we want it. hm. i admit when i posted it i hoped i’d be less disappointed with myself over time, but apparently not so.

24 [ favorite scene you’ve ever written ]

T_T no idea … do you have one, anon? /waves white flag/ i guess i'm just cheating through all these asks OTL forgive me but i guess a favorite would be any scene that a reader feels connected with them/resonated personally or moved their feelings into a place or shape they didn't expect but are okay having? 

25 [ favorite line you’ve ever written ]

sjflkfesdipokleds /covers face/ im really sorry i just don't…have one…ah...i can’t look too closely...but i always appreciate when readers have favorite lines and copy paste them to me any given time like it’s so nice? ;_; it’s so nice ahhh

26 [ story you’re most proud of ]

since i kinda hard passed the last two with this one huh like i guess if i can qualify this as 'story i consider deleting the least often' that would actually probably be my ONE vmin  fic i wrote so far -- sidereal -- lmfdlskfdsfjdsl sidereal -- and it's not that i think it's especially good but more so that i know/ don't question what i'd change about it because it came together start-to-finish very naturally…and that's funny since i had never written them before.

27 [ best review you ever got ]

listen. every review is the best review T_T seriously every review, every bookmark's notes, every ask….(well as long as it's not mean!) ah is a use of someone else's time they did not have to give me but they did and that? that's huge. fanfic is interesting bc it's a thing done for pleasure but unlike say, fanart, there is no readily apparent way to make it marketable? so i think of those words left as review or ask or whatever… as a manner of wealth, if it makes sense, a currency of kindness motivation/encouragement and hope -- that even if i dislike my writing/ find majority fault within it at the end of the day….. there are people out there who don't dislike it too, which is amazing and a relief.

28 [ worst review you ever got ]

hmmm well tech it wasn't a review but like i have gotten a LOT of asks regarding ... .- ...- . -- . + stardrop that range from disappointment that i wrote/published stardrop at all [i knew it would garner some of this but i have haha had more than i thought] to just flat-out regret for having read any of them in the first place. now, as someone who doesn't see any time in the near future where i'll like my own writing, having someone use the words 'regret reading' are….it's upsetting. i feel silly for how much it gets to me but i'm a weak spiral of a person in many ways, so asks like that send me running to hover over the delete button all the time, not just on that story but every story. but i know LOGICALLY it's just an extreme reaction of mine so i don't follow through but yeah my fight or flight response is very much flight lolololol OTL

as for not that uh probably the smattering of asks that came through when i posted 'follow' …one of which asked why i portrayed jungkook so stalkery (as far as i'm concerned, i didn't. he admires namjoon same as some of us admire our own internet idols or whoever)

32 ... .- ...- . -- .   [ alternate title for (insert story title) ]

IN fact i almost called it 'equilibrium' but while relevant that seemed too vague...

33 ... .- ...- . -- .   [ alternate ending for (insert story title) ]

jungkook wakes up. jungkook wakes up and he's raining, brings his hands to his eyes and can't stop, can't speak, can't anything but rain. jungkook wakes up, curls on his side, and cries cries cries until he falls back asleep.

a moment later, the door to his room slides open. two pairs of eyes worry after him into the dark where they recognize three things: 1. jungkook may never forgive himself; 2. there is nothing either of them can do about it; 3. when the captain named namjoon and the mechanic named yoongi forced jungkook into an escape pod at just the last second, their intention was to save him but the result is not so simple.

with unpredictable caution, taehyung enters the room, jimin's hand at his back, doesn't bother to speak quietly, well-acquainted at this point with how deeply jungkook dreams, how desperately. biting the inside of his cheek, taehyung shakes his head. "what are we gonna do?" after a moment, he glances to his right as jimin brushes past him to draw jungkook's blankets up more securely around him, combs soft fingers through his sweat matted hair and says,

"the best we can."

38 [ do you reread your own stories? ]

other than to proofread? no! i'm still very immature as a writer so the reality is if i go back to read something i have a 99% likely will delete because i see all the flaws and things i want to do better but don't yet have the skill to achieve??? but i know i can't or shouldn't literally wipe everything away Just Because, so…@_@;;;

40 [ which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series ]

time and again drabbles or this time around

46 [ share a scene of a story that you haven’t published yet ]

*

the night of taehyung's sorting, jimin jumps out of his place at the table to go meet him but a hand circles around his wrist, holds him there. when he looks down, he finds taemin, all calculated cat expressiveness that reminds jimin of yoongi except taemin has a contradictory warmth about him. yoongi is cool to the look the touch and everything until you get inside him; then he's warmer, jimin would dare say, than he himself is, but so few people know it it's hardly worth mentioning. he blinks. frowns.

"i'm going to say hi."

"no."

jimin pulls. taemin sighs.

"do you think for a second they won't use him against you."

it's not a question and for good reason. jimin sits down again, quiet. hollow, learns at age twelve about thinking ahead and expecting the worst.

if only to protect the very best.

truth be known, he doesn't mind being a slytherin. it's easy to just say no one is trustworthy than to say everyone is. but the history of his family creates a whole additional spectrum of uncertainty. 'park' is so common a name one would think it wouldn't be so obvious except jimin's family has been in and out of the wizarding world papers for quite some time. try as they might to undo a history that predates them by decades, it's hard -- no, impossible. slytherin is one thing. heir is another. wealth. jimin is twelve but the world is much older and his so-called peers fall somewhere in-between.

anyway.

what he wants: to say hello to his dearest friend.

what he doesn't want: to bring said friend trouble, no more than he already has.

jimin looks over at taehyung, watches as hoseok helps him with his baskets and...swallows.

it hurts.

*

around the middle of the second month taehyung goes missing.

it's yoongi that lets jimin know, which makes jimin feel guilty all over: i should have already known.

"did they say when they last saw him?" he asks, rushing around more than he knows yoongi prefers but yoongi is loyal and yoongi is yoongi; he rushes with him, this way and that.

"hobi says yesterday, supper."

biting his lip until it bleeds, jimin experiences what a person always experiences when he knows this might be all his fault: wrenching self disgust, fear, anxiety that crawls around in the chest and twists around the heart like a curse. but feeling bad won't do anything; feeling bad won't find his best friend (who might not want to be your best friend anymore, his heart whispers and it's cold, it's distant, it's terrifying.) yoongi's hand in the sleeve of his robe jerks jimin to a stop so fast he almost trips, except yoongi holds him up while muttering a spell under his breath, the tip of his wand a sharp tap against jimin's strawberry pin (a thing he wears every day in the knot of his tie.) it lights up briefly, blue.

"if i find him before you, that'll happen."

then yoongi is gone in another direction. it makes sense. the school is offensively massive and jimin has never detested it more in his life.

*

growing up, jimin lived by the sea and taehyung came to visit him every other summer. they collected seashells and named all the fish they happened to find and made castles they planned to live in one day when they were older.

"this one's your room."

holding up a piece of sea glass shining aquamarine, jimin held it over the sun, turned back to face him and said, "then it's yours too."

*

the room of requirement is for any given thing. for taehyung he needs a place to be found and for jimin, he needs to stop losing.

it takes him two days to find the boy whose sleeping patterns he knows by heart, the boy whose dreams felt often like his own dreams when they were much smaller; it takes him two days and seven hours and forty-one minutes. but he finds him.

when he opens the door, it's some god sized gift to have taehyung meet his eyes.

it's a human sized gift to receive a careful smile.

and it's everything else to crush him in his arms and breathe him in and keep him there, everything to say,

"i'm sorry."

"me too." a pause. "those strawberries were for you," and the way taehyung says it isn't a guilt-trip. it's just him being genuinely regretful he couldn't give them to jimin the way he wanted to but this makes it that much sharper.

jimin bursts into tears.

*

that summer they go to taehyung's home and jimin eats every strawberry taehyung offers him, which means he gets fairly sick, but he disguises it as something else as best he can and almost doesn't feel so sick at all anyway when taehyung, wide-brimmed straw hat a halo on his head, laughs a sunrise sound and sings a sunset song. it's very windy during their visit, so jimin lays a charm on taehyung's hat to keep it from flying away.

*

49 [ writing advice ]

1. don’t give up. -- which for me and i guess a lot of people whether it’s art or just life, is truly the hardest. but i am constantly attempting to apply to writing what i try to apply to my livelihood: this idea that the most contemptible thing to do is to surrender. i was thinking about lord of the rings the other day and trying to figure out who i hated the most 8D;;; because my train was stuck and i was viciously trying to not freak out....anyway i kept thinking of denethor...and he’s not you know out and out a villain but he’s just so vile to faramir and on top of that he has clearly given up. he’s got this twisted saccharine doom about him that is somewhat because he’s lost his mind but he lost himself first. 

i know this is a really dramatic mental deviation but it’s what i think about ^^;;; the temptation to give up is constant, it’s not a thing that goes away -- which is why i wrote ‘begin’ to address this idea that sometimes the hardest thing is to start, and then to continue in the face of a trouble that has no permanent cure. the moment you give up you lose you, and of course you lose your art. what’s that cliche??? you can’t get something for nothing. i hope that doesn’t come across condescending or bad. i just know for me i have to yell at myself all the time about it, so that’s why it’s first on the list OTL don’t give up, or in the words of bangtan: no no no not today! ^^

2. i used to believe you couldn’t force writing but i think what the more accurate way for me now is to think: i can’t force Right Writing, like it isn’t necessarily good as i throw it down initially and sometimes that’s as good as it’s going to be until i reach a point in that piece that helps me rebuild/recreate/reword the first parts that i KNEW at the time weren’t very good but couldn’t do more with...like perspective within your own narrative i guess, which can’t be gotten without pushing ahead. 

so for example, i disliked everything i had with call and answer from the beginning to the end but the only way i got it all done was to write something every day a paragraph or two maybe, just to get draft one done. then i could look at it the next day to proof-read, put one part before another part, etc, etc, the things that went into making it something i could bear to post. ah so basically if it comes a little naturally that’s awesome but i know for me the most frustrating thing is not being able to control when that happens or why, and since i still want to write, this was my ‘solution’ so to speak -- write it, don’t delete it, look at it in an hour or the next day but move forward even if you’re not 1000% sure with it. like i know this doesn’t work for everyone but it is what has at the moment, kept me afloat. it’s not fun but for whatever reason, it is a method i have employed time to time. 3. write what YOU want to, not what anyone else wants you to (unless it’s like a request you’re fulfilling which case that’s up to you of course!) but in general like....i think there’s a misconception that to write big you have to write for everyone but you can connect to a lot of people by telling a very specific story -- they may not dive into every part, but if there is even one aspect of a story i feel recognized by (a moment, a turn of phrase, the resolution, the problem, whatever) then that’s often enough for me. it’s like with people, we don’t get every part of each other -- even the best of friends, or lovers or whatnot -- but the parts we do get mean so much. same for me with stories.

4. give better advice than me lmfdslkf omg 

feel free to send other numbers or if i missed one let me know........omg but you probably wouldn’t want to after this huh? lmdsfijfoklfeds ^^;;; wow if you read all that uh....thank you but also i’m sorry ;; lmfdsojklefds T//////T!!!!! <3 ;3;

[geekysweetie]

This Is US - Season 1 and 2 Review

It’s not often that I choose to write about (or really even choose to watch) American television. That’s because in my opinion, the writing in American drama is often inferior and the characters not as emotionally engaging as Asian dramas. Season 2 had already started when I finally got around to watching Season 1 of This Is Us, the show that would change my opinion of American Dramas. – Don’t get me wrong. I love me some drama regardless of what country it originates from.. but I distinctively recall for example, when “Fault of Our Stars” came out, how much praise it was being given, as being the saddest movie of all time, ever, by radio and TV critics and movie-goers across our nation. I watched the film and was left feeling, mostly, nothing at all. That’s IT?! I thought to myself as I contemplated the movie for the next few hours. Sure it was “sad” – but these people (who praised the film so heavily) have clearly no idea what a “sad” movie even is. Go watch a Kdrama, and then come back and tell me “Fault of Our Stars” is still the saddest thing you’ve ever watched. When it came to American dramas, they seemed to fall into one of 2 categories, smut filled soap operas that never end (versus the concise, beginning, middle, end, 24 episode formula of most Kdrama), or into a predictable, but enjoyable, feel good romantic comedy chick flick (where a happy ending was almost guaranteed). It’s rare to find a “serious” American drama that can evoke the same empathy and sympathy and devastation and heart ache that most Kdramas can cause the audience to feel. “Fault of Our Stars” (as well as “The Notebook” and other similar films) attempt to create a sad love story, but still I’m often left feeling less emotion than I expected (although admittedly, “The Notebook” did have both myself and my best friend running to the restroom to grab tissues as we started sobbing at the ending).

Anyways, this post is not about Kdrama, nor is it about “Fault of Our Stars” or everything that American TV / Cinema does “wrong” when it comes to writing an emotionally moving film…

This post is about “This is Us”, the drama that would change my opinion of everything that American TV / Cinema does “wrong”. I remember for months seeing previews, and being like oh yeah, I want to watch that, but pushing it off on the back burner as my back log of things to watch, games to play, and things to do IRL grew longer and longer. Over the next several months, “This is Us” was often discussed in the office where I work. This increased my curiosity and desire to sit down and binge watch it.

And from the first episode, I was not disappointed. It grabs you in. It had twists and turns and unconventionality. It took place in Pittsburgh (being an hour north of there (and soon to move within minutes of the city, this made it even more relateable to me). It was not the typical white-wash American sitcom family. Here was a family of mixed races, tackling some serious dark and depressing issues. Alcoholism, Drug Addiction, Infertility, Adoption, Weight Loss, and a very dysfunctional family. A family with real problems, problems with their marriage, problems with their careers, problems with their kids, problems with their family members.

It was raw, it was personal, it was unlike anything I had ever seen on American TV.

I binged through the first two seasons over Christmas break.

And the series returns tonight 01/09/18 with new episodes.

I won’t reveal much in this review about the story thus far in the first 2 seasons. I think that part of the success of this drama is how it throws some amazing curve balls at you and completely blindsides the heck out of you, which heightens the emotional impact so much more. In fact, the first episode might be quite confusing at first. The entire series is told through jumping here and there from past and present, including different periods in the past, and different families and perspectives and characters and it gets complicated fast. Everything is connected. It’s one of those shows you can only really appreciate and enjoy by watching from the very first episode, and never skipping a single show. The more you watch, the more everything begins to make sense, and the more invested you become in continuing to watch what happens next.

Anyways I’m obviously a fan of this series. It is with love and respect for the amazing writing (and music score, and acting, and pretty much everything) that I write this review.

Title: This is Us

Network: NBC

Length: 43 Minutes per Episode, Currently 2 Seasons with new episodes airing tonight 01/09/18.

Genre: Drama

Where to Watch: This is Us Seasons 1 and 2 are available on Hulu

Geeky: 3/5 This drama is likely to appeal more to girls than guys, due to the fact that it is not an “easy” show to watch. It’s not the type of show you come home to, put on, and mindlessly just enjoy. It requires critical thinking and piecing together the puzzle pieces from episode to episode as complexity grows each week. There are conflicts, but they are matters of the heart, struggles of human kind, and society as a whole. You will not find action and excitement here; however, Pittsburgh locals, and Steelers fans, or anyone dealing with dysfunctional family problems will relate easily to this series.

Sweetie: 5/5

Overall: 72/80 90% A- “Excellent Drama for Girls”

Concept: 10/10 The concept of the story, the way everything is interconnected and woven together, the excellent writing, acting, music, and execution, the loveable but flawed characters, and how relatable it all is makes the concept and overview of this series easily a 10 out of 10.

Story: 8/10 – The story can be confusing if you jump in mid-season, and it can even be confusing for long time fans. There are many questions left unanswered, and to find those answers, the story skips and hops all over in piece meal fashion. One moment, the big 3 have not even been born, you’re watching their parents in their early 20s, the next moment, the big 3 are about 10 years old, then the next moment they are days old, then the next moment, the big 3 are in their 30s. This would be the only complaint I could give as to the story.

Now for what the story does right, it tells us a story about a middle class northeastern family from Pittsburgh PA. They love the Steelers, they love going out to the bars in downtown Pittsburgh, taking their kids camping in the woods, fishing, hiking, celebrating the holidays Christmas, Halloween, Birthdays, and all, and the realities that come with life in Pittsburgh, PA such as shoveling their cars out from 6 feet of snow, the attitudes regarding racism and the roles of gender etc in the workplace back in the 70s and 80s in Pittsburgh’s prime.

But this isn’t just any other American family. This family is different.  A white family raising a black kid, a black kid searching for his birth parents, a community that judges the family from all angles. A family that lost a child, but gained a child. And a family raising 2 remaining white babies along side the black baby. The saying “Love Makes a Family” has never been more true than it is in this drama.

But even parents with the best intentions and pure love for each other and for their children still make mistakes. Some of those mistakes we can never recover from. Some of those mistakes will cost some members of this family their lives. And other mistakes will cause members of this family to spend the rest of their lives searching for answers.

With each surprising plot twist and turn, we learn more about this unconventional American family. What mistakes did they make, what secrets do they hide, what went wrong? And above all, the love the family has for each other, the love that exists despite all of these devastating mistakes, the love that exists even beyond death. Love, self love, self identity, sacrifice, marriage, careers, raising a family, the struggle is real. We feel their struggle, that’s why we keep watching. We want to see how they overcome the pitfalls of life that so many of us face also in our own lives.

Characters: 9/10 Dysfunctional is the word I would use to describe this family, or in fact every single character within this drama. That’s part of what makes this series work so well. It plays on our sympathies, it makes the characters raw, real and relateable.  Addiction is also a central theme. Whether it’s Jack and Kev’s alcoholism, Randall’s Obsessive Compulsion and Anxiety, or Kate’s weight problems. These characters are flawed. Sometimes those flaws can be presented a bit heavy handedly and repetitively, which is the only flaw I could give to the unique cast of characters.

It’s also interesting how the characters cannot “escape the sins of their fathers”. Just as Jack resented his father, he turns out to be the same in many ways, and Kevin realizes he too is exactly like them. And even though Beca hates her mother, thinks she expects too much and is controlling, Beca turns out to have the same expectations and behaviors towards her own daughter.

In this way we are shown, no one is perfect. Parenting is not easy. It’s easy to judge what our parents do wrong. It’s easy to blame them for messing up our own lives. But in the end, we control how our future looks.

The big 3 are at different stages in their lives. Randall is married with 2 beautiful children and a loving wife. A successful career and big house. Kate is slowly climbing out of her past problems, she finds a new man, which brings new challenges, but she also finds confidence in herself and realizes her dream to pursue her career and goals despite her age and appearance. Kevin is perhaps the most flawed of the big 3. He is unable to handle relationships, unable to feel anything, he has burred his emotions for so long concerning tragic events in his past. He has messed up his career, and now has to start over from nothing. He will try desperately to cling to the past, and still not acknowledge his problems. Those problems will grow when addiction enters the picture, and just when things seem to be going well for Kevin they will all fall apart again. Similarly, Kate in season 2 is going to have a huge upswing of luck, prosperity, and achievement, only to lose it all again.

Life is full of ups and downs. It’s this roller coaster ride that keeps us watching each episode. We begin to care more and more about the Pearsons because of how raw and real and flawed the characters are.

There’s much more to it than I have revealed here. Like I said, the best part is to watch and be shocked by each new rise and fall.

Casting: 9/10 – I think the show is well cast. My only small critique, and coming at it from the angle of my blog being for young teen/young adult women, is I would have liked Kate’s love interest to have been more handsome. I feel like in American film/TV it is really common to see a fat male character with a beautiful wife, but it’s far less common to see a fat female character with a fit husband. It’s almost taboo in American society to see this combination. And as a fat girl myself in real life, dating currently a fit guy, it’s a match I would like to see depicted more on American TV. Stop perpetuating the misconceived notion that a girl is only as good as her weight. Stop perpetuating that a fat girl can only ever be worthy of being with a fat guy. This isn’t true. Slender guys, Muscular guys, all different types of guys, like fat girls too.

Yes, being fat is unhealthy, and seeing Kate’s struggles with her weight, infertility, and struggles with her pregnancy, all hit very close to home for me as well, since I also have fertility issues due to PCOS.

Anyways, you can hate on me, and call me out and say by my criticizing Kate’s love interest simply because he’s bald and fat, that I’m a hypocrite, because I’m saying then a Man is only as good as his weight – and that’s not really true. that’s not my point or what I’m trying to say, but I think many readers may view these comments as such attacks. I think the character that Kate’s husband plays is smart, funny, and genuinely sweet and a great person. Kate is lucky to have him. Kate would STILL be lucky to have him even if Kate was a size zero and he remained overweight. The scene in the coffee shop where he gets to announce their pregnancy is maybe my favorite scene in the entire series. His love and devotion for Kate is demonstrated time and time again. They are possibly “America’s Sweethearts”.

People like him are hard to find in ANY shape size color or whatever. And the actor playing him does fantastic so this isn’t about his ability as an actor either.

But in a show that CONSTANTLY pushes the envelope on touchy sensitive issues such as alcoholism, domestic abuse, drug addiction, homosexuality, racism, discrimination, etc, It seems like a missed opportunity to push another issue, by giving Kate a partner that would be unconventionally acceptable by society’s standards for a “fat girl”.

As a fat girl myself, and now recently dating a fit and active guy, I am well aware of society’s view of what is “acceptable” for a “fat girl” when it comes to dating. 9 times out of 10 when we go out, the waitress assumes it’s separate checks, even if we go there often, even if I’m cuddling, rubbing his back, flirting, or etc, obviously we are together and out on a date. I’m well aware too of the looks and stares we get when we go out. And probably of the whispers and other comments made behind our backs. And this is in part shaped by what we see on TV. Society doesn’t hold those same misconceptions for an overweight man with an attractive female.

We laugh it off, because who are they to judge us, our happiness, our relationship, our compatibility. But still, Hollywood could be doing more to break down these stereotypes and barriers. They could pair a fat girl with a hot husband. They could cast a fat girl in a main role, and NOT make it about her eating addiction and weight loss, they could, but they don’t, and This is Us is no exception to this.

What we see in the media, also shapes our realities. Hollywood should have a responsibility to do more to stop sexism, racism, and stop hate against people on their weight, religion, sexual orientation, or any other “less desirable” (as perceived by society “norms”) traits.

Randall and Kevin would both be considered hot or attractive, and what do they get, hot wives/girlfriends (although Kevin’s relationships are a hot hot mess).

And yes, Kate does have a wonderful happy loving awesome relationship. That’s wonderful, but why pair the only fat chick in the sitcom, with an equally fat guy? Also why make Kate’s who character so obsessed with her weight. Calling attention to how it’s such a huge negative thing. Meanwhile in countless other sitcoms we see fat or ugly men with smoking hot wives. Let’s reverse that stereotype just one time. I want to see a serious tv series like this, with a very overweight actress such as Kate, with a happy, healthy relationship, with a man that society would deem to be “above her station” and a character who is confident, happy, and content with her body size/shape and just owns it. Yes, we all know that being fat is not healthy, it affects your life in numerous negative ways, from fertility issues such as what Kate has, to heart disease, diabetes, and just lack of energy/stamina. We don’t need a TV show to remind us of this (because society reminds us of this every day). Instead what we NEED is a TV show to show us some kindness, some hope, some ray of light, in a world with very few “role models for fat girls”.

I am here to tell you, that even though TV will never show you that “ray of light” it exists. It’s real. There are REAL men, fit, athletic, muscular, handsome, sexy men, who love big girls. Who love and RESPECT big girls, who love you for you, for the person you are inside. Your heart, your mind, your unique wonderful qualities that make you you. As well as loving you for your curvy body. Loving, loyal, devoted to you.

Do you know what my boyfriend told me on our very first date? He told me all of the reasons why he liked me / was interested in getting to meet me / know me better. Because I’m different from other girls, because I’m real and genuine, and loving, and kind hearted. Because I’m myself, I’m not fake, I’m not shallow, I never judge others. I accept and love and support him. But also he genuinely likes and is attracted to big girls. I’ve seen photos of his exes, and they were even bigger than me. So it’s not just him saying that to please me. As unbelievable as it may be, there are fit guys who love big girls. And not only because they are big. But for all of the reasons that make them a wonderful person. Relationships shouldn’t be superficial. (so once again you might be calling me out here with my critique of Kate’s boyfriend in This is Us because he DOES treat Kate like the queen she is no matter how big he or she are.) But so could any man, regardless of his weight. Why only show fat actresses with fat men? When will hollywood realize that a woman’s value is more than her dress size. I have a wonderful relationship with a fit muscular guy and I’m a 200 lb girl. We share some things in common, but we also show each other new and interesting things, and take interest in each other’s interests. We have never spent a weekend apart ever since we first met, almost 6 months ago now.

I still think every time I go out with my boyfriend that I have the best looking guy in the room, or even in the world. And I find it unbelievable. Why? Why am I always so surprised and thankful and feel so shocked? Because of society’s norms, society’s expectations, society’s judgements. And what forms and shapes those judgements is the media. Magazines, movies, TV shows. We grow up looking to those. It’s a subconscious thing. You can deny it all you want and say you’re not superficial, but the truth is, you don’t even realize how it is shaping your judgement and notions.

Fat women often cast as sidekicks, comic relief, never taken seriously, never in a lead role, never in a “fairytale” type romance with a “prince charming”. If anything at all, paired with a man who society would equally judge and find fault with (at least their outer appearance).

I guess my bottom line is this… They could have written the character of Kate’s husband the EXACT same way, kept ALL of the scenes exactly the same, showing his silly side, his love for Kate, his willingness to let go of any pride or the lengths he would go to to publicly display his love for Kate, Kept all of that, and just cast someone better looking in the role – he still would have had the same qualities that make us love their relationship so much. While no longer perpetuating the stereotype of a fat girl not being able to have a happy relationship like this with an average or even handsome guy. Cast her with someone like Kev or Randall and then we’d REALLY have a show that pushes the envelope.

Acting: 10/10 – The show is emotionally engaging because not only of the excellent writing but the equally believable and convincing acting.

Music: 10/10 – I love the ending theme as well as many of the other tracks used throughout this drama. Many fans have asked repeatedly for Jack’s theme to be released on itunes store. As of yet it does not appear to be available for purchase. Take a listen below to Jack’s Theme.

Visuals: 8/10 – The nostalgia of the 70s 80s, and 90s are depicted through the different time skips back through the story. Although the show is a drama with no special effects or big budget visuals, the show does an excellent job of depicting life in western Pennsylvania. I would know since it is also my home.

Overall: 72/80 90% A- “Excellent Drama for Girls”

This Is US – Season 1 and 2 Review was originally published on GeekySweetie.com - Geeky & Kawaii Anime, Tech, Toys, & Game Reviews & News

[walkinmystiettos]

CITYTRONIX on electronic music, sexuality and future LP release

English-born producer based in Kent is yet to make a mark in the vein of experimental music. Drew Holliday, aka CITYTRONIX discusses the situation he finds himself with electronic music, how current politics leaves his music “unaffected”, embracing his homosexuality through art and how he plans on producing his first full length LP. The producers exuberance and creativity isn’t dying out just yet.

Hello, thank you for taking your time to chat with us!

No problem, more than glad.

Well, first thing we’d like to mention is that we first noticed you and your music when we came across your SoundCloud profile and it definitely took us by surprise, is that what you expect from people?

In all honesty, not at all. But, at the same time yes. No being the fact that ideas just seem to seep out organically, I don’t tend to overanalyse or reflect myself and my music. Not to be dismissive or anything, but it’s like this mechanism that keeps moving you forward, if you keep reflecting back upon your work you then tend to become overly critical and it can be a really crippling process. For others it’ll probably become beneficial, me on the other hand it’s considerably mind-numbing, since why should I have to follow some sort of rule or formula? I don’t, because we all have the ability to just be ourselves and trust our first instinct, you know.

I don’t really go for any sort of reaction from people, or at least don’t aim to get a reaction, I’m just someone who puts it out there and lets people deal with it. If you hate it, fine. If you like it, fine.

“The child in me probably knew the capabilities of electronic music before I was even conscious of it, I just don’t know, something fascinated me.”

- CITYTRONIX

So, what made you turn to electronic music in the first place?

Oh lord, I suppose I can cast back to when I was around 6 or 7 years of age and watching a lot of MTV at the time. There were very few electronic artists I’d admired that were in the charts in the early naughties and that was Daft Punk and Eric Prydz.

Even way before that time I was an absolute hardcore fan of DDR (Dance Dance Revolution), and I remember that I’d play them in the arcades everytime I passed one. I suppose that’s what also drew me to electronic music, a lot of the DDR songs are very four to the floor and there’s plenty of dance music and happy hardcore originals. The child in me probably knew the capabilities of electronic music before I was even conscious of it, I just don’t know, something fascinated me.

Were there artists that changed the way you thought about your music and yourself personally?

Definitely for sure, Bjork is for sure one of those artists that are rare, very idiosyncratic and I suppose you always see her formations of being evolve throughout her years. She’s a true creature brought into this earth, her voice is just so delicate, so rasp, enchanting essentially.

Arca is another for me, there shouldn’t be a requirement for explanation for this. The way he treats sound as a form of storytelling, aside from verbal communication is just so inspiring. Always has been thought-provoking about what can be considered as “music”, he’s arguably the most extremely uncommercial artists around. Especially the fact that electronic music is exceptionally hard to deliberately fuck up, because everything has a ‘grid’ and everything can be tuned up perfectly, rebelling against the formalities of digital music can take a lot of effort, unlike those who make rock/indie music for example.

There’s too many artists to name. Brian Eno, Arthur Russell, Aphex Twin, Lotic, SAKIMA, Sufjan Stevens, Steven Wilson/Porcupine Tree, Erik Satie, John Cage, etc. they’ve all inspired me in one way or another

“in a way technology takes the directions for you, it just depends how you utilise it“

- CITYTRONIX

What’s your relationship with producing electronic music?

Stimulating but equally exasperating, I know the fact that it can be quite inevitable though. Technology in general doesn’t always carry out or execute ideas efficiently or as you’d like them to. But in another sense, those obstacles they make somehow make you realise that you managed to get something better out of it, or something worse. It’s a 50/50 chance, in a way technology takes the directions for you, it just depends how you utilise it. 

I’ve always had an ambivalent relationship with electronic music, it can be such a chore but it also allows you to make your own decisions which can get really interesting. Ultimately, I wouldn’t change it for the world, something in me has always come back to produce electronic music, maybe because of how much you can use it to your advantage, the flexibility and the ability to drastically change sound through sampling.

We’ve actually noticed a lot of the music you’ve released seem to embrace your sexuality too, could you elaborate?

Of course. Perhaps I express myself so openly is because all I ever wanted to do was to release all the tension inside of me and to take it out on some form of medium, music obviously being the primary source of this. I guess, (sighs) because there’s still all this stigma towards homosexuals among many other sexualities, I want to be able to raise awareness of that and in a way to poke fun at people who can’t tolerate that. I don’t intend on doing it on purpose, I just think that my most intimate side always oozes out through my music, my character, and to separate my own make up from my music is almost impossible, I simply cannot do that. If that were to happen, it wouldn’t make it seem to feel human at all, it’d feel completely robotic, alienated and unfamiliar, if you get my meaning. So, the only way around this (for me) is to be upfront about it, make myself completely transparent and direct.

“To be open and vulnerable I think is something that really brings people together, because we’re more similar than we think”

- CITYTRONIX

So, even if people would have an issue you would still remain open about your sexuality? Or have people had issues before?

To answer your first question, yes. To be open and vulnerable I think is something that really brings people together, because we’re more similar than we think. Because we live is such a contaminated environment in society, someone who usually speaks out about issues tends to make some other people relate to that and become less concerned or uncomfortable. We all go through different stages, yet we all go through similar situations and issues. I mean, social media is a tool people use to speak out on very sensitive subjects, part of me just think that’s just unfortunate being that we can’t always be open to society/reality, but on the flip-side of things it can be really therapeutic and beautiful.

As for the second question, if I recall I did remember a few people unfollowing me due to the fact I released “UNDRESSED FAGGOT”, but do you know what? I couldn’t care less, everyone isn’t going to like you with the way you present yourself or the way you are, whoever does try to achieve that would fail miserably, you know?

A different subject we’d like to bring up and mention is politics, how do you feel about it lately?

Generally, I don’t have this tendency or need to catch-up with news and politics so I’m not too educated on that part of the world. But, what’s happening globally right now is utter chaos and turmoil and there’s become this surge of music surrounding the subject of politics this year. For me, I wouldn’t like to fuse music and politics together, unless if it was in the attitudinal spirit of Punk music. Regardless, I don’t think politics is really going to affect my music as much, I tend to focus on something more microscopic or thematic aside from politics, it can be such a headache.

Before we come to a close, is there anything you’re planning ahead or would like to note?

Not really, other than the fact that I do plan to focus on making my debut album for the very first time. I’ve already gathered some demos together that I’m taking on board to finish and include.

Thank you!

My pleasure