#it varies from person to person of course

[concenecxere]

this is so beautifully put. i mean gorgeous. i am not caught up so i am effectively spoiling myself but funnily enough i actually tried to talk to my mother about this while watching s1 bc at the same time i'd been reading a chapter of this book about compulsory sexuality (refusing compulsory sexuality: a black asexual lens on our sex-obsessed culture by sherronda j brown) which really encouraged this exploration for me. like so much of what stood out to me was the direct comparison of innie marks interrogation of his own creation being spurred on whilst dealing with integrating helly into the severed floor (and the loss of petey) vs his sister on the outside having her first child. helly r is almost a petulant child to him at first, an inconvenience to the order of things although necessary for their workplace function at lumon (like ops gf said, just like helena mark as her boss almost resents the freedom with which helly is defiant), until of course he really reconciles the severity and the lengths she goes to and turns inward and wonders why he never stopped to question it all himself. so we see these motivations for reproduction in direct contrast -- in the story of mark the final goal of his reproduction is productivity (by separating himself from his trauma), versus devon and rickan taking an approach to reproduction "more virtuously" by comparison (like excited for the journey of raising a unique human being). now this is the point where i realized i was talking to my mother and didnt really have my thoughts wrapped around it and wanted to begin that type of conversation with more nuance and the conversation naturally returned back to the show.

but! back to the book by sherronda j brown -- it has a whole chapter on productivity, partially tackling how capitalism incorporates productivity into nuclear family making which kind of effectively pulls the magic out of the point of a family. a child is not something that you can utilize/form for some present/later convenience, they're a human being with their own unique ambitions and the beauty of parenthood is often watching them discover that etc etc. but capitalism looks to control family making as it is a method of economic stimulation. again this requires a lot of nuance, because since we are so embedded in capitalism in some ways you have no choice but to be implicit even if you are aware, and you can be doing this wether you realize it or not. i also want to be sure i acknowledge that i am by no means an expert on this i just felt emboldened to get into it here. alongside those examples given by the amazing prev posts/tags this is illustrated in real life by how so many people are realizing using children as a contingency plan for who'll take care of you when you age or like expecting grandchildren from your own children. like its absolutely not a bad thing to want these things but assuming no matter how you treat your children that its their responsibility to fulfill that for you is bull -- and objectively to expect this is not even always guaranteed biologically for several reasons but i digress. a child is their own person worthy of respect and if you don't give it to them they don't/shouldn't owe you present or future compliance (again theres nuance, even in severance given the outies varying levels of awareness of/care about their innies treatment) but capitalism is a part of perpetuating this. as so many now realize if you are surrounded by real true community confirmed elder care and the opportunity to be a grandparent-like mentor is/should be available without nuclear family to fulfill it. the power of found family and all that beautiful stuff! particularly when imagined with a queer lens. but capitalism has taught us intentionally that all of this should come from the heteronormative nuclear family and is only valid when derived from a heteronormative nuclear family in order to isolate us from one another and sell us these opportunities in other ways for their own gain. anyways i've danced all around it myself but brown says the following far more concisely in their amazing book (which i look forward to finishing).

"anxiety about the sex recession among young people is also anxiety about an accompanying decrease in marriage, nuclear family making, and home ownership. all of these things are intimately related and impact our economy, especially because they are so easily capitalized on. those invested in the capitalist system work to convince us that these are necessary parts of life and that participation in them makes us more mature adults and 'productive' members of society... therefore, cisheterosexual sex itself becomes a means of productivity because it is understood to ultimately lead to marriage, procreation, and nuclear families, all of which are integral to patriarchal and white supremactist capitalist systems."

its so remarkably layered i would love to pick the brains of the writers about it all!! lumon offering severance and the creation of an innie as this amazing way to free themselves from the monotony of a job or like the weight of the outside world on their work. but of course this job is necessitated by the capitalist society they exist within and the thing that drives them all to severance is what capitalism forces them to believe they have wrong with themselves or have to achieve to be successful. so then when they create their innie, or "have their child" as it were, and the child demands more love than you ever thought you were allowed the capitalism worm in your brain has already prepped you to place the blame on the child and not realize the system is what has it all wrong. and even if you do understand the systems driven you to this point the cost that you've paid for being compliant all this time is this life you now get to watch your child live.

my gf said something sooo insane about helly the other day and i cannot stop thinking about it. she was like. helena and helly’s relationship is almost maternal. the way helena created helly as an extension of herself, to serve her interests, to try and impress her own family. she scolds helly, talks down to her like a child. “i understand you’re unhappy with the life you’ve been given” “i am a person, you are not”. the way she envies and resents helly’s freedom. the way she feels entitled to helly’s life and is now living vicariously through her in the most literal sense. what if you created life and now they’re experiencing the things you’ve always wanted for yourself. what if you created life and they were flawed and loud and demanding and they were loved more than you’ve ever been. and you hated them for it. the mother/daughterisms are insane my girlfriend is insane

[indigo-greer-collins]

unfortunately doc seems a little too responsible to do this, but i do think it would be a little funny if they took full advantage of the fact that hush isn’t too great with social norms and made him think all the strange little habits they have are actually what the majority do.

i personally hc doc grew up having to mask a lot and were nitpicked for just about anything they did. the way they sat, talked, walked etc. hush is essentially the first person they can guarantee wont judge them for existing.

some interactions i thought of below the cut!

hush: doc, why are you separating the skittles by colour?

doc: oh well, that’s how they’re supposed to be eaten you see. they taste wrong if you mix them all together, it takes away from the eating experience.

hush: so then why don’t they package them to be in their specific colours instead of all together like that?

doc: uh it… would take them too much time and they’re lazy. it’s a little like how you can’t usually get cereal with the milk already inside you know? not convenient for them.

hush: nodding intensely and taking mental notes

doc: (talking to their cat) okay little fella, you’re in charge while we head out!

hush: doc, i don’t think the cat can understand you

doc: well no but— it’s common courtesy you know? the pets will act up if you don’t remind them to be responsible.

hush: i see!

hush: doc?

doc: hm?

hush: you’re laying on the floor again?

doc: mhm! floor time, i haven’t had enough this week so i’m making up for it.

hush: okay… may i join you?

doc: yeah of course, there’s plenty of room!

hush: how often do humans need floor time? (laying down beside them)

doc: it varies from person to person! i usually need up to like… 2, 3 hours a week?

hush: i’ll make sure to remind you about getting enough floor time!

doc: thank you!

hush: your plants have names?

doc: oh yeah, i need to identify them somehow

hush: but, they have scientific ones?

doc: true… but you know it’s like calling every human— “homo sapien”. you can’t do that, they’re the own people and these plants are their own plants!

hush: thank you for explaining that to me doc

doc: you’re welcome :)

[utilitycaster]

jumping off of that other ask: how do you think religion in Exandria should have been implemented?

honestly? I think this is the wrong question to ask. I think it is, ultimately, fine if religion in Exandria is only organized within the confines of Vasselheim and is otherwise a highly individualized affair; indeed, it even makes sense in a world where the gods can directly interact with their followers (even across the Divine Gate). In fact, the lack of organized religion now is a fascinating setup for it likely coming into existence in some form in the absence of that direct communication - like, every prime deity/betrayer god religion in Exandria is about to enter a cycle of once-per-lifespan messianic events. Some kind of organized practice will probably spring up around this!

My problem is that the PCs, to an extent, acted as though there were full religions in the world and that they were systems of oppression when that was never the case. So actually the implementation should have been taking Laura, Marisha, and Taliesin aside and being like "so your character's position is totally fine and valid! It is, objectively, exceptionally self-centered, in that you are basically just mad that you didn't get the benefits of a L20 cleric after calling up a god once or twice. Do you want to play them this way, or do you want to approach this differently?" And, of course, a lot of fans projected their own experience of religion as a vehicle for oppression - and to be clear, religion in our world frequently can be that- onto a world where that isn't the case. That's less preventable; you should never try to please the fans, let alone the dumbest fans.

On some level, however, a lot of the lore of C3 in the end failed to hold up to the plot of C3 and it wasn't even religion that was the problem. Like, Ruidus as a mystery and dark threat to the world was established before campaign 3, but the concept of Ruidusborn was rather weakly set up. The level of knowledge people had surrounding the Calamity and the gods varied wildly from "pretty decent" in C1-C2 to "what's an Asmodeus" in C3. Tharizdun was very much teased as a concept in C2 and now occupies a rather incoherent space of "it's on the same level as the primes and betrayers and was included among the betrayer gods whereas lesser deities are not; but it's also not The Divine Of Tengar and seen as food for Predathos (but the Raven Queen and presumably Vecna are); and also it's still shackled and THOSE shackles will apparently hold the OTHER devouring void without any problem even while the other gods are mortal and unaware of themselves and that's not an existential threat to be dealt with, it's fine to leave THAT bound," which thematically clashes with the entire story.

As a doorstopper fantasy fan/very casual comics fan/person who came to Dragon Age the Veilguard without much knowledge of the world to a fandom mad at a number of changes/person who has has a lot of critique of C3, this post says it more eloquently: in an ongoing work, sometimes you write yourself into corners and have to decide what to do about it. This is made even more complicated by actual play's unpredictable nature*. I think that Matt had a vision that the previous worldbuilding could have supported if the characters in C3 wanted to save the gods from the jump, but once they strayed from that the lore began to buckle under its own weight and here we are. So really it comes back to my point before: religion doesn't need to be implemented in Exandria and if it had been it should have been done in like, mid-C1, and as for how, that depends on the story Matt wanted to tell, but maybe he should have tried to tell a different one with Campaign 3 that was better supported by the lore we did have.

*to be clear I've already addressed why the "it's improv" defense fails to hold for Campaign 3 given that it failed to properly build on previous choices, but also, and I cannot stress this enough, the DM still makes the calls, and allowing a die roll (or not allowing a die roll), setting a poor DC, failing to establish something prior to a character asking about it, poor planning, and more are all poor choices that make for a weaker story. Actual play can in fact simply be bad, and nothing makes me immediately think you're stupid than trying to argue the mere possibility of criticism itself is invalid. Address the argument, accept that people will disagree with you, or leave; those are your options.

[ysabelyaps]

Guys I accidentally lost the anonymous ask, BUT I do know that it was made so yk here it is.

⇠✧❀✧⇢

Summary: Famous singer Se-Mi comforts her jealous girlfriend after her latest concert

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: bro idk ass writing? And fluff and happiness so if you’re allergic to that yk..

A/N: I’m on another road trip back home so, I have time to write this. Although I’m like, really lazy but I hate having it put in drafts bc it ruins my thought process so it’s just.. short. I’ll make a part 2 if you want though. Hopefully it’s good enough.

⇠✧❀✧⇢

“Baby, come on. You know I only have eyes for you. Don’t be mad.” Se-Mi says, trying to get you to talk to her. Of course, to no avail. This all started when she had her latest concert and decided to have a meet and greet afterwards and sign autographs and take pictures and stuff.

Well one fan got a little too close for your liking. Obviously you knew it wasn’t exactly Se-Mi’s fault, but it still upset you. So now here you were, sulking, pouting and giving her the silent treatment.

You guys were already official to the public and all that, so there was no need for Se-Mi to hide you or for you to be scared someone would hit on her thinking she was single.

Yet you were sitting on the couch, back to Se-Mi, still jealous and it’s been a few hours already.

“Babyyy.. come on. Talk to me, please? What if I buy you food, will that appease you? I won’t do the meet and greets anymore if you want.”

“..if you buy me food I might consider it..” Of course, Se-Mi knew you well enough to expect this and pulled out takeout from Panda Express.

“Here, happy?” You took the food and started eating it.

“..yeah” you mumbled, covering your mouth full of food with your hand.

“So, should I stop the meet and greets? Or do you just wanna be a part of it? Ooh, you know. I’ve always wanted to have you be part of my concerts, would you do that?”

“I can’t sing.” Se-Mi gives you a look, you could sing. Kind of, not idol level, maybe shower idol level. You could play an instrument though, a lot of them. Since you were young you liked to play instruments.

“What about playing guitar then? Or drums, or violin or piano, or you know anything. My songs’ genres vary”

“Se-Mi, I’m not a concert person. I’m not one to go on stage.”

She rolled her eyes, “But I’ll be there” she held your hand, pulling your waist towards her and looking at you with pleading eyes. “Just one concert? Please?”

“Weren’t you supposed to be talking me out of jealousy”

“I thought I did that already.”

Oh my lord.

⇠✧❀✧⇢

After like three hours of deciding between just being part of the meet and greets or stopping them completely and 3 hours of Se-Mi begging you to be part of her concert to at least play an instrument if not sing.

You guys finally made a decision.

Se-Mi would include you at the meet and greets, you would coordinate them and you had rules made with strict guidelines on how close you could be for pictures. Was that toxic? Maybe a little, but Se-Mi went through the rules and thought they were reasonable so no objection there.

And you also decided you would perform for one of her concerts, backing vocals and instrumental because she really wanted you to sing at least a little.

Were you confident it would go well?

No, not really like at all.

Were you and Se-Mi happy by the end of the conversation?

Yeah, pretty much.

And you were fed, and that’s all that really matters.

Kidding.

Se-Mi sent a text to her manager about all the new things that were discussed between the two of you while you laid on her lap, watching the tv. Before eventually, you guys decided to call it a night.

Lights out.

[saxandviolins77]

Serious poll.

Vote for the most likely option, not your fave.

Of course, what makes a good partner varies from person to person, so feel free to present your argument (or not). There is no objective answer here.

[crabussy]

sorry you feel that way!! I think you can be kind AND firm. there's no need to let people walk all over you while you're being kind. I just don't really want to be the type of person who is mean first thing before even trying to understand the other person. often times people are rude because others aren't kind to them. I've had people apologise for how they treated me after I responded with kindness instead of spitting insults back at them. people aren't used to it!! sometimes kindness is about being the bigger person. sometimes being unkind is the best choice. but I'd be lying to your face if I said it wasn't the best choice most of the time

I'm so serious about being kind above all else. it has genuinely changed the way I interact with the world on a fundamental level and has made me so so much happier.

[cruelplatonic]

my personal headcanon is the vees were unremarkable nobodies when they were alive. i just love it as a thematic throughline for them. they love to let the public of hell speculate on them being famed and acclaimed since before death, but the the truth is they were a d-list failed influencer that got by on cheap controversey and scamming, a broke junkie who burned every shaky bridge he ever had, and a worn-out broadcast production assistant with more rejected auditions and tossed out script pitches than he could count. nobody missed them when they were gone, nobody cared who they were until they were dead.

[anistarrose]

I think when a lot of queer people who aspire to marriage, and remember (rightly) fighting for the right to marriage, see queer people who don't want marriage, talking about not entering or even reforming or abolishing marriage, there's an assumption I can't fault anyone for having — because it's an assumption borne of trauma — that queers who aren't big on marriage are inadvertently or purposefully going to either foolishly deprive themselves of rights, or dangerously deprive everyone of the rights associated with marriage. But that's markedly untrue. We only want rights to stop being locked behind marriages. We want an end to discrimination against the unmarried.

We want a multitude of rights for polyamorous relationships. We want ways to fully recognize and extend rights to non-romantic and/or non-sexual unions, including but not limited to QPRs, in a setting distinct from the one that (modern) history has spent so long conflating with romance and sex in a way that makes many of us so deeply uncomfortable. And many of us are also disabled queers who are furious about marriage stripping the disabled of all benefits.

We want options to co-parent, and retain legal rights to see children, that extends to more than two people, and by necessity, to non-biological parents (which, by the way, hasn't always automatically followed from same-gender marriage equality even in places where said equality nominally exists. Our struggles are not as different as you think). We would like for (found or biological) family members and siblings to co-habitate as equal members of a household, perhaps even with pooled finances or engaging in aforementioned co-parenting, without anyone trying to fit the dynamic into a "marriage-shaped box" and assume it's incestuous. We want options to leave either marriages, or alternative agreements, that are less onerous than divorce proceedings have historically been.

I can't speak for every person who does not want to marry, but on average, spurning marriage is not a choice we make lightly. We are deeply, deeply aware of the benefits that only marriage can currently provide. And we do not take that information lightly. We demand better.

Now, talking about the benefits of marriage in respective countries' current legal frameworks, so that all people can make choices from an informed place, is all well and good — but is not an appropriate response to someone saying they are uncomfortable with marriage. There are people for whom entering a marriage, with all its associated norms, expectations, and baggage, would feel like a betrayal of one's self and authenticity that would shake them to their core — and every day, I struggle to unpack if I'm one of them or not. If I want to marry for tax benefits, or not. If that's worth the risk of losing disability benefits, in the (very plausible) possibility that I have to apply for them later in life. If that's worth the emotional burden of having to explain over and over, to both well-meaning and deeply conservative family members, that this relationship is not one of romance or sex. (Because, god, trying just to explain aromanticism or asexuality in a world that broadly thinks they're "fake" is emotional labor enough.)

Marriage is a fundamental alteration to who I am, to what rights an ableist government grants me, and to how I am perceived. I don't criticize the institution just because I enjoy a "free spirit" aesthetic or think the wedding industry is annoying, or whatever.

[emberwritesinsight]

I know we as a society have about a hundred million bigger fish to fry right now but I hope at some point within my lifetime we get around to fixing the absolute hellscape that is the women's clothes sizing system

[bmpmp3]

and another thing about vocal synth fans: we will always find some adult male voicebank to turn into a funny little clown for our amusement. some guy to communally bully in our talkloids, the miserable straightman to the shenanigans, the sad little freak punchline to our jokes. it happened to kaito. it happened to gakupo. it happened genbu. it even happened a bit to kevin (although he seems to have looped around somehow). and it will happen to you too, frimomen. it will happen to you too.

[bancaishi]

since there are still new people liking and reblogging my tally hall art/posts, old and new(ish), i figured i should make my stance clear. joe hawley has proven time and time again that he cannot be trusted to foster safe and appropriate interactions with his fans, especially those who are underage. and this is to say nothing of the extremely harmful and bigoted views he has repeatedly expressed surrounding race and gender.

any past art i have made of him or any appreciation i have for tally hall and their work does not include any support for him and his actions. in fact, it's more reason to condemn his behavior, for using the importance this band has to his underage audience to take advantage of them. i would advise any fans, minors or not, to take caution and avoid him, and to not put him up on a pedestal for the sake of others as well.

[mantisgodsdomain]

We ought to write more Pokemon fic some time. We want to recreate the Pokemon Manners/Human Manners cheat sheet that we made a few years ago we think that this site would like the Sliding Scale Of Politeness When Greeting A New Pokemon You've Never Met Before.

[moe-broey]

Sometimes I worry I get too self-indulgent w how I portray Alfonse w Sharena, ESP keeping that one FEH comic in mind (which shows Alfonse and Sharena's differing boundaries, and how Alfonse in general "isn't much of a hugger") BUT. In my heart............. I like to imagine....... there are moments where he'll happily allow it. But the Problem Here, is if he gives Sharena an inch, she's taking a mile. She's going to completely smother him. She's dangling off his shoulders and squishing herself against him in ways previously thought impossible. Which may or may not be a contributing factor as to why he's a little apprehensive by default. And it's a feedback loop. Him being standoffish, her trying sooooo hard to respect that when she's STARVING for that physical affection, him allowing it, her squeezing him so hard that if he wasn't in armor he might break a rib. Endless loop. Unique hell. But they do love each other, completely.

[telekitnetic-art]

I hope this is okay to ask...but do you think it's okay for non-native and non-indigenous people to do formline art? I've seen some stuff online say that making it is a great way to connect to various native cultures as well as helps you learn and notice the patterns and symbols within formline art, as well as help you appreciate it more, but I'm not sure. It's something I'm super interested in and love how it looks, but I don't want to be hurtful.

This is just my opinion but if you want to and you’re non-indigenous, I think it’s ok to give it a try!! As long as you don’t sell it/promote or claim it as actual Indigenous art, I think you’re good! It’s always good to have a teacher of course (my dad won’t ever not bring up how mad his mother was when he first started his journey making formline art without a formline teacher and she lectured him about how he was making it thoughtlessly before bringing out a bunch of his dad’s templates/sketchbooks). Like you said, formline art has patterns and rules and symbols that you don’t pick up on just from looking at or referencing someone’s else’s art.

Of course keep in mind that formline art and knowledge can be passed through family teaching their own family, so some families and teachers might prefer or prioritize their time to their family members, and some formline artists may prioritize young Indigenous artists over non-Indigenous artists as it’s their culture and birthright. But I think as long as you’re respectful and try and consult with Indigenous elders/formline artists and don’t do a whole “Spiritual Insight Online Etsy shop with mass produced dream catchers and random “”Native American”” art prints” shtick, I think you’ll be fine!

[darkaac]

Fin.

[kindnessoverperfection]

I've found that, when interacting with others (or myself), it's useful to consider the lessons I'd want to teach a growing child.

If a child makes a mistake, I wouldn't want them to feel shame. I wouldn't yell at them, humiliate them, or in any way indicate to them that their mistake is a reflection of their worth or of who they are as a person.

Instead, I'd want them to associate the process with love and joy. If they say something that hurts someone's feelings, or otherwise ostracizes someone in some way, I'd compassionately explain to them. Ideally, they'd walk away knowing why they said / did it in the first place, how to handle similar situations in the future, and would accept the consequences (e.g. if a friend no longer wanted to hang out with them).

While the consequences may sometimes be painful, I'd do my best to instill in them that mistakes are human and natural, and that the process of learning from these mistakes is an opportunity to improve connections with others and express love.

I have a tendency towards excessive guilt. Memories in which I've said / done something ignorant or hurtful are infused with this guilt and shame- but ideally, I'd feel a sense of love and peace, and perhaps happiness, when looking back on them. Because they were moments of growth, moments I learned how to be more compassionate (even if the actual learning came years later).

So I'll put this out into the void:

When you make a mistake, that is not a reflection of you as a person. It is a moment in time, a moment which was informed by your past experiences. Humans are not static labels, or monsters in an RPG game. We are social creatures who live and learn and react and grow and experience and love. Be gentle with yourself and move forward knowing you're doing so in accordance with your values.