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yabai-korra · 3 years ago

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Eris getting some of Nesta's powers and his importance in the future

Y'all I'm 90% sure some of Nesta's power has been transferred to Eris, at first it occurred to me in a sort of "ha, could be" way but I'm pretty certain, hear me out! Also going to touch on the subject of Nesta not losing her powers completely.

The power in the dagger

Nesta Made the dagger and put some of her own power into it, and then Eris got that dagger as a present by Inner Circle, which wasn't really a necessary scene nor plot point unless you read between the lines.

KINGDOM OF ASH SPOILERS AHEAD!

We have seen the exact same thing in Kingdom Ash, Aelin lost all of her power but an ember, but beforehand put it in her sword Goldryn and whooped Maeve's ass, actually head lol, with it. Having power shoot out of her hands and her sword felt pretty much the same so I'm sure Nesta will be equally powerful in the next book! Not only does she have a bit of her power left, three weapons filled with her power, and the Dread Trove. Nesta is still the most powerful character 😎

If Nesta can put some of her power into a weapon, it doesn't seem like a stretch at all for the power in the weapon to get out and into a person.

Eris only pretended to be influenced by Koschei

This one was kinda obvious to me from the moment I read it, no psychoanalyzing needed.

Nesta and her weapons were said to "probably" grant immunity from Koschei's power because they were both Made, and Eris had the dagger while he when he was captured.

Every person that has been possessed by Koschei has been said to have glassy eyes, EVERYONE except Eris!

Eris's soldiers had glassy eyes.

Bellius had glassy eyes.

Cassian had glassy eyes.

Eris is the only "possessed" person to get "accidentally" caught.

Eri's soldiers said nothing, and it was Briallyn who reveal that Bellius and Cassian were possessed.

Out of Cassian, Bellius, Eris, and his soldiers, Eris is undoubtedly the slickest and most cunning one. Comparison between him and Cassian has been dragged throughout the whole book, while Cassin is the muscle, Eris plays mind games and politics.

ERIS IS THE MASTER AT WORD GAMES! How did Cass and Az realize he was possessed and therefore Koschei being there? THROUGH ERIS USING A WORD GAME he knew only Cass and Az will pick up on.

Are y'all trying to tell me that Eris, who supposedly had immunity from the Koschei's power, didn't show the only sign of being possessed which is glassy eyes, had accidentally said something that will let Cass and Az know he's "possessed"?

Golden flames

The word "flame" has been used in 4 different contexts throughout the book

a) actual fire in the fireplace

b) silver flames in Nesta's eyes

c) flames in Lucien's eyes

d) flames in Eris's eyes

We know that Autumn Court's power is fire, both Lucien and Eris were described to have red flames in their eyes, which is completely expected right?

Eris was said to have flame/red flame multiple times, but I'm only allowed ten pics per post, and obviously not gonna put quotes of Nesta's silver flames cause it's literally the title lol.

Then, when Eris was "possessed" and held a dagger to Cassian's chest, it was said that flame rippled from it, and Cass didn't know if it came from the dagger itself or from Eris.

My guess? Both or combined! When Eris received the dagger, he said that it has flame in it, and Eris is said to have had flames in his eyes previously.

Last but not least, AFTER Eris had been "possessed" and AFTER the dagger was returned to the Night Court, ERIS NOT LONGER HAS RED FLAME IN HIS EYES, BUT GOLD.

This was in the penultimate chapter! Aka the chapter before the last. SJM always takes great care to put something important or foreshadowish at the end of each book. The last chapter was obviously Nessian and Archeron sisters, since it was the Nessian book and the three sisters are all finally happy together (plus announcing the next book as Elain's) but chapter before that... about Eris? Interesting.

There was so much about him there I for a second thought the next book is going to be about him lol. So much to unpack in that chapter:

Eris was tortured by his father for information (which I think is the hint for Eris not being possessed).

Eris still insists there are some things about him and Mor that Mor hasn't told the Inner Circle.

He wants to explain something to Mor.

He obviously just wants to be friends with the Inner Circle (but that's a discussion for another post).

Cassian, who hates Eris with burning passion throughout the whole book, says he thinks Eris is a good guy, but is too much of a coward to act like it.

It was hinted that Beron did much worse things to Eris during his life, "The male had been raised with every luxury and privilege - on paper. But who knew what terrors Beron had inflicted upon him? Cassin knew Beron had murdered Lucien's lover. If the High Lord of Autumn had been willing to do that, what wouldn't he do?" If you ever read any SJM serials you would know that this wasn't put here just because, it's always foreshadowing with her.

"Because it doesn't add up. You know what a monster your father is and want to usurp him; you act against him in the best interests of not only the Autumn Court but all of the faerie lands; you risk your life to ally with us... and yet you left her in the woods." - Cassian. Do you see all the material for the future book?

"Eris crossed his arms, then winced. As if whatever injuries lay beneath his immaculate clothes ached." I THINK THIS IS A DESCRIPTION OF NOT ONLY ERIS'S CURRENT SITUATION, BUT HIS WHOLE LIFE. As Cass said, born in luxury, raised by a monster.

Eris is generally very fucked up? Not only was it in this last chapter, but it was stated multiple times that his upbringing really damaged him. When Cassian was surprised by the fact Beron tortured him, Eris responded with: "Get that pitying look off your face. I know what sort of creature my father is. I don't need your sympathy." That is an extremely fucked up way to respond to being tortured by one's father, and implicates he was subjected to similar misery earlier in his life.

"Nesta could see he didn't believe them - that he was so used to twisted politics and scheming of his court that even when the simple, easy truth was offered, he could not see it." Again, very messed up mindset, which in the author's language means writing material.

The last line said to Eris in the book is: "Eris was still their ally. Was willing to be tortured to keep their secrets. And Cassian didn't need to be a courtier to know his next words would slice deep, but it would be a necessary wound. Perhaps it would be enough to push him in the right direction. "You know, Eris, I think you might be a decent male, deep down, trapped in a horrible situation." He looked over his shoulder to find Eris's gaze blazing again. But only pity stirred in his chest, pity for a male who has been born into riches, but had been destitute in every way that truly mattered. In every way Cassian had been blessed - blessings that were now overflowing. So Cassian said; "I grew up surrounded by monsters. I've spent my existence fighting them. And I see you, Eris. You're not one of them. Not even close. I think you might even be a good male. You're just too much of a coward to act like it." This was said by Cassian, whom Eris insulted every time they interacted, who hurt his sister, who wanted to steal his mate, whom Cassian said he wanted to kill or leave to die on so so many occasions, who made Cassian feel stupid and insecure every chance he had, and yet Cass of all people found it in his big good heart to see the good in Eris and try to push him to be good.

And now, his eyes burn with golden flames.

There is so so much to unpack and reveal about Eris's character, and SJM couldn't be more obvious with pointing it out. He is definitely going to play a huge role in the next book(s). With his possible new powers, overthrowing Beron, healing from all the emotional and physical trauma inflicted upon him, revealing a lot of secrets he's been keeping, and finding a way to show his true colors.

Also I think Nesta might be the one to help him with it because she at some point says that she deserves to marry him because "she is just like him", and not only in a way that they both insulted Cassian. They both had/had demanding parents which made them cold and unfeeling, preferring to appear as assholes because they don't want and don't know how to be their true kind selves. I think she would a great friend and the best person to help him deal with everything.

And the way Eris obviously likes her which we've seen when they were dancing. How he saw that she really liked spinning around so he went out of his way to spin her on multiple occasions even though it wasn't in the dance protocol. I'm pretty sure that was his way of getting closer to her because he obviously can't do it with words.

#eris vanserra #eris #acosf #a court of silver flames #acotar #acotar theory #nesta #nesta archeron #cassian #lucien vanserra #beron vanserra #wow this turned out way longer than anticipated #i love eris so much #i want him and nesta being friends #and him being a dog dad he is #sjm #sarah j maas #pro sjm

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dreamsmp-au-ideas · 4 years ago

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Teddy Bear Anon has purposed yet another interesting addition to the Immune AU which gives me plot ideas! In particular, a scene that would really help give past Dream a strong push into his character arc.

I like to image that immune!Dream’s character arc starts with the death of immune!Puffy. Sure, maybe he’s not sad yet, but he feels something for the woman who declared herself his pseudo mother. It’s what helps to crack the shell enough for the rest of the immune gang to start weedling their way into his heart. Immune!Dream after spending enough time watching the group he, starts to realize that yeah, connections to other people isn’t a weakness. It really is a strength. It’s something that takes time for him to come to terms with because Techno seems like a testament to the fact connections are a weakness. He was unbeatable until his horse got kidnapped. His only connection, his only weakness. But then there’s Tommy who seems to represent the complete opposite.

Where Dream represents strength from caring too little, Tommy represents strength from caring far too much. Now I’m a sucker for bamf Tommy, and I like to personally imagine that maybe the Immunes hold out for a year or two before they cave and try to make the portal. So Tommy has what really boils down to a two year training arc on top of already being a child veteran (I like to canonize SMP Earth as well because personal preference and it gives me even more room to make Tommy suffer. SMP Earth being canon? God, so much fucking trauma considering how the others treated him, a 15 year old child, like an adult.) Anyway Dream slowly realizes connections with one another are what kept the remaining Immunes alive, and he tries to force his younger self to understand that. Tries, but doesn’t really get far. Up until what everyone else calls The Fight.

Tommy’s always just kind of screwed around in fights as long as there’s only a threat to him. We know he has a tendency to throw if MCC is any indicator. But then they time travel and maybe they spend some time in the past trying to get the situation sorted and the past’s Dream maybe just kinda does something to Tubbo. Doesn’t even have to be big, it just needs to clock as a threat to Immune!Tommy who’s already lost his Tubbo and refuses to let his younger self go through that. So Tommy goes completely ape shit on the younger Dream. Sure, it’s only been two years for this Tommy. He’s probably, like, 18 or 19 at most. Still a child as far as a lot of people are concerned. He shouldn’t be stronger than Dream or Technoblade, and in the few cross group sparing sessions they’ve had he isn’t. He’s stronger than his younger self but no where near these two demi gods of combat. But then Dream suddenly registers as a threat to Tubbo in Immune!Tommy’s eyes and he makes the mistake of mocking Tommy while he’s at it. He knows that immune!Tommy lost his Tubbo and maybe the past Dream is lashing out slightly or trying to get some kind of foothold in Tommy’s psyche. He isn’t doing anything near what immune!Dream has done, but it’s enough to piss Tommy off. So immune!Tommy challenges Dream to a fight and Dream immediately realizes the mistake he’s made when Tommy starts to destroy him.

Say even Techno’s there for some reason or another and he realizes what’s going down so he tries to calm Tommy down, joining the fight just as Dream is loosing it. The situation quickly turns into the first time Techno’s ever gotten his ass thoroughly kicked by Tommy, leaving everyone spectating baffled (Tommy’s younger self partly included). They’re certain this kid is going on some rampage and none of them can stop him but the moment Dream and Techno are both taken care of (wounded, not killed, the older Tommy is always careful about that. He even throws a splash healing on them with some indifferent kind of disgust that hides the fact he does still care to some extent even hurting as he is.) Tommy immediately just switches focus to outright doting on Tubbo, ignoring any muttered Clingyinnits in favor of ensuring Tubbo is fine. Tubbo is completely find and just as confused, but the point stands and neither Tommy ends up leaving Tubbo’s side for the rest of the day. The younger Tommy, after all, is the only one the older Tommy’s told the full story to regarding the future (even when he couldn’t trust his own family he was always able to trust himself with the secrets that mattered, so he prepares his younger self in case the worst comes to pass.)

The older Dream, immune!Dream, he doesn’t get involved. He sit on the side lines and just kinda laughs, the sound drowned out by Sapnap’s loud encouragements and Sam’s half hearted attempts to get Tommy to stop (he could have stopped Tommy immediately if he’d stepped in. Sam is after all the only person on earth Tommy listens to without hesitation, but Sam lets it happen and pretends he tried.)

Immune!Dream just kinda smirks at his younger self later that night and mentions something about attachments really making you weak. After all, it’s not like the only time Tommy takes a battle seriously is when someone he cares about is in danger. It’s not like Tommy would turn the world into a seared ball for Tubbo, and Tubbo would do the same in return. It’s not like they’ve watched the people they care about temporarily rebuke the Crimson just to give the Immunes those precious extra seconds needed to survive in a fight. Attachments, they’re just a weakness.

The younger Dream doesn’t know how to respond to that. It’s the first time he thinks about his older self maybe being right.

Before I go I wanna leave you with two more ideas for the Immune AU

First up, Wilbur is eight years older than Tommy give or take. Wilbur had Fundy when he was around 16 and Tommy was around 8. Tommy was the best damn uncle he could be and for a while Tommy and Fundy were really stupidly close. They were both apart of the raised by Wilbur club and Wilbur was trying his damn best. Fundy aged/matured (physically and mentally) faster than a regular person for a while. They believed it was because he was a fox hybrid and Wilbur was ready to lose Fundy too soon. When Fundy was equivalent to 18 in human years though his aging process suddenly slowed to a crawl and his tail split into two, at which point the group realized he was actually a kitsune and it was just those first 8 years that passed by quickly (and Wilbur had a lot of questions for the now missing Sally who he’d thought was a salmon hybrid, genuinely, but became exceedingly less sure.) His family knows he’s a kitsune, but Fundy hid it from most of the rest of the server. A good thing considering later events.

Fundy was part of the Immune group for a while and I like to imagine that he and Tommy had a falling out during the Pogtopia era but after the egg started to take over they started bonding again and acting like, well, family. Unfortunately when it came time for them to activate the portal, Fundy ended up getting separated from the group and getting caught. The eggpire didn’t actually know Fundy was fully immune or a kitsune so he just kinda pretended to get infected, using his illusions to make his fur look crimson. I personally like the idea that Fundy at some point managed to get back to the time machine and being a little code wizard manages to get the thing working and yeets himself in. He shows up a little late but after fixing his appearance manages to catch up with the rest of the group.

Fundy is underrated. Tommy being a good uncle is underrated. Sam would absolutely adopt the traumatized fox baby in Eret’s honor. What’s not to love?

The last concept I wanna bring up that I really like is hybrid Tommy. Tanuki would be good since it’s another reason for the Sam Nook bit. Maybe Sam specifically picked Sam Nook since Tom Nook was Tommy’s favorite character on the grounds he was the only representation Tommy had ever gotten and it made the kiddo happy. However, I also personally really like phoenix Tommy and it would make an interesting plot point. Tommy accidentally losing his third life at some point and realizing he’s an immortal creature of fire would have led to him taking a protector role for his new family. He can’t die, but he can burn anything around him, why not send him out to get supplies when the worst the eggpire could do would be capture him. Even then he just literally cannot hear the egg. Which could lead to both some interesting comedic moments and some really good angst if Sam agonizes over his desire to protect Tommy and let him be a child suddenly being at odds with the fact Tommy is literally the best person for the job so to speak. Not to mention Sapnap, who I headcanon as a Blaze hybrid, would be even more attached the moment he found a new fire proof friend to burn forests with him. Regardless of which hybrid type he is, I could see him hiding it from everyone except for Fundy when he was a child and only ever admitting it later to the other Immunes once they become a found family.

Personally I like the idea of Tommy being part tanuki hybrid and part phoenix hybrid, but is that too mary sue? Is it just a little bit too cheesy to have him be both? I will never not try to incorporate phoenix Tommy into my fics but also tanuki Tommy would be such a mood for this au.

Like image Tommy just builds a den that’s in reality a vault/panic room a la Techno and he hides it under Church Prime since that is The Safe Spot in Tommy’s mind.

~Snapdragon & Firefly

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shyrose57 · 4 years ago

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Changed Tales:

The Village That Went Mad/A Not Too Bad Town: A little village in the wood, run by Mayor Jimmy, and his wife, Helga, a mischievous shapeshifter. The two have a young son named Salem. Other residents of the village include Miles, a rich cattle breeder, Patch, a blind cat hybrid who was formerly a soldier in the Red Eyed Villager wars, Cornelius, a wandering traveler who settled down in the town after meeting Patch, Bob, the local builder, Jack, a farmer who produces most of the village’s food, and Robin, a young and talented doctor who’s quickly making a name for himself outside of the village.

The Lost City Of Mizu/The Region Of Mizu: A region of the distant future, most well known for it’s capital, The City Of Mizu. It’s a popular tourist sight, both due to it’s amazingly preserved records of history, as well as being one of the few accessible underwater cities open to tourists. It’s residents both live and work here, typically as historians, or tour guides.

The Masquerade/A Regency Ball: A social gathering in the late regency era, hosted by Billiam the Third, who’s most well known for his ‘Red Grounds’, a vast garden surrounding the estate filled with many beautiful and exotic red flora and fauna. It’s attendees were Lyaria and Oliver, two close high class friends from London, Sebastian, a wealthy wine seller, James, a big name business man with a reputation, and Drew, a friend of James who was invited to the party as a plus one.

The Wild West/Beauty Of The West: A large town in the west, and a popular place for people to visit. It’s main attraction is the Celestial Saloon, a large saloon that offers a variety of drinks, games, and other activities. It’s a place well known for wealthy aristocrats to wind down in, and is funded by Billiam. The town is also known for being surprisingly safe, with Sheriff Sherman working with the local bandits to make sure other criminals keep their distance.

The Haunted Mansion/Cold Spot Club: A club that searches out haunted places and urban myths to check them out themselves. It’s located in the City That Never Was, and consist of Greg, the mayor’s son, Ash and Zachary, twins who work in a cafe for a living, Joey, a social jock who’s got a good eye for detail, Porkums, a hat maker who works in the family business, Francis, a kind baker who owns a cafe, Rash, a student who works part time at the library, and Gump, a construction worker who’s somewhat known as the neighborhood cryptid.

The Pit/Subbin’s Capital: Subbin is a militaristic empire who’s culture heavily integrates combat and battle into it’s people’s life styles. That’s why it’s Capital’s main attraction is The Pit, a gladiator ring personally funded by Porkius, where people can choose to fight for money, fun, or simply to learn how to.

Assignments:

Ranbob: Dream, DreamXD, Drista, Mamacita, and Mexican Dream.

Cornelius: Dream, DreamXD, Drista, Mamacita, Mexican Dream, and Foolish.

Hubert: Dream, DreamXD, Drista, Mamacita, Mexican Dream, and Eret.

Isaac: Karl, Quackity, Sapnap, George.

Cleetus: Karl, Quackity, Sapnap, George.

Benjamin: Karl, Quackity, Sapnap, George, Bad, Skeppy, Ant.

Charles: Karl, Quackity, Sapnap, George, Ranboo.

John John: Ranboo, Tommy.

Ranbutler/Moon: Ranboo, Tommy.

Zachary: Ranboo, Connor, Tubbo, Ghostbur.

Ran: Ranboo, Techno.

Sebastian: Bad, Skeppy, Glatt.

Levi: Punz, Purpled, Ponk.

Laggius: Fundy, Sam.

Oliver: Fundy, Niki, Eret.

Lyaria: Niki, Hannah.

James: Sapnap, Drista.

Mason: Sapnap, Connor.

Jack: Quackity, Connor.

Patch(Catboy): Hbomb, Antfrost, Tubbo.

Billiam: Techno, Philza.

Sherman: Techno, Philza.

Watson: Techno, Philza.

Greg: George, Connor, Glatt.

Ash: Tubbo, Tommy, Ranboo, Ghostbur.

Robin: Tubbo, Puffy, Ponk, Purpled, Foolish.

Jackie: Tubbo, Purpled, Jack, Charlie.

Bartholomew: Jack, Tubbo.

Genevieve: Niki, Hannah, Callahan.

Things:

Oliver and Lyaria have known each other for quite awhile, and she thinks of him somewhat as a mentor, as he took her under his wing when she was introduced to this world. Both have a lot of dirt on people, though they rarely make use of it, preferring to make fun of their dress or arrogance instead from the side.

Ranbob is a bit of a loner. This stems from the fact that he was born with a weak Pearl, that cracked the first, and last, time he ever attempted to teleport. If it ever broke, he’d suffer from Perma-death. Seeing as teleportation is more or less instinct, he was forced to learn how to show down his instincts and distant himself from them in order to avoid accidentally doing so. This has more or less made him seem odd to others, and he himself doesn’t understand how to react to some of their more instinct-driven gestures, having long since suppressed his own.

In other words, he has no idea what he’s doing. Luckily, there’s quite a few Enderman hybrid on the server that do.

The Tales character appear before Tommy visits the prison and dies. Because I would like to attempt to redeem Dream a tiny bit, and y’know, I don’t think you can really do that after he murders Tommy. So, that just never happens here.

Jackie’s father runs an old rickety inn called Bee ‘n Boo, which he intends to pass on to Jackie. However, Jackie’s passion has always been fighting, so, knowing his father would disprove, he fights in the Pit in secret.

Levi is a gardener who fights in the Pit to keep his skills sharp, as well as earn money when he’s not on the job. He’s got a special touch with plants, and quite the green thumb.

Genevieve is a professional fighter who originates from Subbin. Though she often returns, she spends more of her time outside of the empire, mastering new styles and honing her abilities. She’s also Jackie’s role model.

Ash and Zachary tend to unintentionally spook people a lot. They walk incredibly quietly, know a lot of scary stories, can tell when somebody is nearby, and occasionally talk in sync with no prior planning. Hilariously, Techno is probably the most weary of them.

They’re also both bat hybrids, though for most of the time, those traits remain dormant, so the most people notice is that they have really good hearing, not too great eye-sight, and pointed ears. They’ve also got little bat wings hidden under their jacket, but nobody really notices those. Under a lot of distress, their traits manifest more, typically rather violently.

Ranbob is also pretty short. He inherited more of his mother’s genes than his Enderman father, so though he has some Enderman traits, it’s not many.

He’s incredibly weak to water though. His mother was a third blaze, and both parents passed down that particular weakness, except doubled. He inherited both a fair amount of heat resistance, and his golden eye from her side.

Hubert is an old childhood friend of Billiam’s, and the two took in Moon when he ended up lost and injured nearby. They even helped him get home to his brother John John. Moon ultimately decided to continue working for Billiam, having grown close with them, though he keeps in contact with his brother.

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grigori77 · 3 years ago

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Summer 2021′s Movies - My Top Ten Favourite Films (Part 2)

The Top Ten:

10. WEREWOLVES WITHIN – definitely one of the year’s biggest cinematic surprises so far, this darkly comic supernatural murder mystery from indie horror director Josh Ruben (Scare Me) is based on a video game, but you’d never know it – this bears so little resemblance to the original Ubisoft title that it’s a wonder anyone even bothered to make the connection, but even so, this is now notable for officially being the highest rated video game adaptation in Rotten Tomatoes history, with a Certified Fresh rating of 86%. Certainly it deserves that distinction, but there’s so much more to the film – this is an absolute blood-splattered joy, the title telling you everything you need to know about the story but belying the film’s pure, quirky genius. Veep’s Sam Richardson is forest ranger Finn Wheeler, a gentle and socially awkward soul who arrives at his new post in the remote small town of Beaverton to discover the few, uniformly weird residents are divided over the oil pipeline proposition of forceful and abrasive businessman Sam Parker (The Hunt’s Wayne Duvall). As he tries to fit in and find his feet, investigating the disappearance of a local dog while bonding with local mail carrier Cecily Moore (Other Space and This Is Us’ Milana Vayntrub), the discovery of a horribly mutilated human body leads to a standoff between the townsfolk and an enforced lockdown in the town’s ramshackle hotel as they try to work out who amongst them is the “werewolf” they suspect is responsible. This is frequently hilarious, the offbeat script from appropriately named Mishna Wolff (I’m Down) dropping some absolutely zingers and crafting some enjoyably weird encounters and unexpected twists, while the uniformly excellent cast do much of the heavy-lifting to bring their rich, thoroughly oddball characters to vivid life – Richardson is thoroughly cuddly throughout, while Duvall is pleasingly loathsome, Casual’s Michaela Watkins is pleasingly grating as Trisha, flaky housewife to unrepentant local horn-dog Pete Anderton (Orange is the New Black’s Michael Chernus), and Cheyenne Jackson (American Horror Story) and Harry Guillen (best known, OF COURSE, as Guillermo in the TV version of What We Do In the Shadows) make an enjoyably spiky double-act as liberal gay couple Devon and Joaquim Wolfson; in the end, though, the film is roundly stolen by Vayntrub, who invests Cecily with a bubbly sweetness and snarky sass that makes it absolutely impossible to not fall completely in love with her (gods know I did). This is a deeply funny film, packed with proper belly-laughs from start to finish, but like all the best horror comedies it takes its horror elements seriously, delivering some enjoyably effective scares and juicy gore, while the werewolf itself, when finally revealed, is realised through some top-notch prosthetics. Altogether this was a most welcome under-the-radar surprise for the summer, and SO MUCH MORE than just an unusually great video game adaptation …

9. THE TOMORROW WAR – although cinemas finally reopened in the UK in early summer, the bite of the COVID lockdown backlog was still very much in effect this blockbuster season, with several studios preferring to hedge their bets and wait for later release dates. Others turned to streaming services, including Paramount, who happily lined up a few heavyweight titles to open on major platforms in lieu of the big screen. One of the biggest was this intended sci-fi action horror tentpole, meant to give Chris Pratt another potential franchise on top of Guardians of the Galaxy and Jurassic World, which instead dropped in early July on Amazon Prime. So, was it worth staying in on a Saturday night instead of heading out for something on the BIG screen? Mostly yes, although it’s mainly a trashy, guilty pleasure big budget B-picture charm that makes this such a worthwhile experience – the film’s biggest influences are clearly Independence Day and Starship Troopers, two admirably clunky blockbusters that DEFINED prioritising big spectacle and overblown theatrics over intelligent writing and realistic storytelling. It doesn’t help that the premise is pure bunk – in 2022, a wormhole opens from thirty years in the future, and a plea for help is sent back with a bunch of very young future soldiers. Seems Earth will become overrun by an unstoppable swarm of nasty alien critters called Whitespikes in 25 years, and the desperate human counteroffensive have no choice but to bring soldiers from our present into the future to help them fight back and save the humanity from imminent extinction. Less than a year later, the world’s standing armies have been decimated and a worldwide draft has been implemented, with normal everyday adults being sent through for a seven day tour from which very few return. Pratt plays biology teacher and former Green Beret Dan Forrester, one of the latest batch of draftees to be sent into the future along with a selection of chefs, soccer moms and other average joes – his own training and experience serves him better than most when the shit hits the fan, but it soon becomes clear that he’s just as out of his depth as everyone else as the sheer enormity of the threat is revealed. But when he becomes entangled with a desperate research outfit led by Muri (Chuck’s Yvonne Strahovski) who seem to be on the verge of a potential world-changing scientific breakthrough, Dan realises there just might be a slender hope for humanity after all … this is every bit as over-the-top gung-ho bonkers as it sounds, and just as much fun. Director Chris McKay may still be pretty fresh (with only The Lego Batman Movie under his belt to date), but he shows a lot of talent and potential for big budget blockbuster filmmaking here, delivering with guts and bravado on some major action sequences (a fraught ticking-clock SAR operation through a war-torn Miami is the film’s undeniable highlight, but a desperate battle to escape a blazing oil rig also really impresses), as well as handling some impressively complex visual effects work and wrangling some quality performances from his cast (altogether it bodes well for his future, which includes Nightwing and Johnny Quest as future projects). Chris Pratt can do this kind of stuff in his sleep – Dan is his classic fallible and self-deprecating but ultimately solid and kind-hearted action hero fare, effortlessly likeable and easy to root for – and his supporting cast are equally solid, Strahovsky going toe-to-toe with him in the action sequences while also creating a rewardingly complex smart-woman/badass combo in Muri, while the other real standouts include Sam Richardson (Veep, Werewolves Within) and Edwin Hodge (The Purge movies) as fellow draftees Charlie and Dorian, the former a scared-out-of-his-mind tech geek while the latter is a seriously hardcore veteran serving his THIRD TOUR, and the ever brilliant J.K. Simmonds as Dan’s emotionally scarred estranged Vietnam-vet father, Jim. Sure, it’s derivative as hell and thoroughly predictable (with more than one big twist you can see coming a mile away), but the pace is brisk, the atmosphere pregnant with a palpable doomed urgency, and the creatures themselves are a genuinely convincing world-ending threat, the design team and visual effects wizards creating genuine nightmare fuel in the feral and unrelenting Whitespikes. Altogether this WAS an ideal way to spend a comfy Saturday night in, but I think it could have been JUST AS GOOD for a Saturday night OUT at the Pictures …

8. ARMY OF THE DEAD – another high profile release that went straight to streaming was this genuine monster hit for Netflix from one of this century’s undeniable heavyweight action cinema masters, the indomitable Zack Snyder, who kicked off his career with an audience-dividing (but, as far as I’m concerned, ultimately MASSIVELY successful) remake of George Romero’s immortal Dawn of the Dead, and has finally returned to zombie horror after close to two decades away. The end result is, undeniably, the biggest cinematic guilty pleasure of the entire summer, a bona fide outbreak horror EPIC in spite of its tightly focused story – Dave Bautista plays mercenary Scott Ward, leader a badass squad of soldiers of fortune who were among the few to escape a deadly outbreak of a zombie virus in the city of Las Vegas, enlisted to break into the vault of one of the Strip’s casinos by owner Bly Tanaka (a fantastically game turn from Hiroyuki Sanada) and rescue $200 million still locked away inside. So what’s the catch? Vegas remains ground zero for the outbreak, walled off from the outside world but still heavily infested within, and in less than three days the US military intends to sterilise the site with a tactical nuke. Simple premise, down and dirty, trashy flick, right? Wrong – Snyder has never believed in doing things small, having brought us unapologetically BIG cinema with the likes of 300, Watchmen, Man of Steel and, most notably, his version of Justice League, so this is another MASSIVE undertaking, every scene shot for maximum thrills or emotional impact, each set-piece executed with his characteristic militaristic precision and explosive predilection (a harrowing fight for survival against a freshly-awakened zombie horde in tightly packed casino corridors is the film’s undeniable highlight), and the gauzy, dreamlike cinematography gives even simple scenes an intriguing and evocative edge that really does make you feel like you’re watching something BIG. The characters all feel larger-than-life too – Bautista can seem somewhat cartoonish at times, and this role definitely plays that as a strength, making Scott a rock-hard alpha male in the classic Hollywood mould, but he’s such a great actor that of course he’s able to invest the character with real rewarding complexity beneath the surface; Ana de la Reguera (Eastbound & Down) and Nora Arnezeder (Zoo, Mozart in the Jungle), meanwhile, both bring a healthy dose of oestrogen-fuelled badassery to proceedings as, respectively, Scott’s regular second-in-command, Maria Cruz, and Lilly the Coyote, Power’s Omari Hardwick and Matthias Schweighofer (You Are Wanted) make for a fun odd-couple double act as circular-saw-wielding merc Vanderohe and Dieter, the nervous, nerdy German safecracker brought in to crack the vault, and Fear the Walking Dead’s Garrett Dillahunt channels spectacular scumbag energy as Tanaka’s sleazy former casino boss Martin, while latecomer Tig Notaro (Star Trek Discovery) effortlessly rises above her last-minute-casting controversy to deliver brilliantly as sassy and acerbic chopper pilot Peters. I think it goes without saying that Snyder can do this in his sleep, but he definitely wasn’t napping here – he pulled out all the stops on this one, delivering a thrilling, darkly comic and endearingly CRACKERS zombie flick that not only compares favourably to his own Dawn but is, undeniably, his best film for AGES. Netflix certainly seem to be pleased with the results – a spinoff prequel, Army of Thieves, starring Dieter in another heist thriller, is set to drop in October, with an animated series following in the Spring, and there’s already rumours of a sequel in development. I’m certainly up for more …

7. BLACK WIDOW – no major blockbuster property was hit harder by COVID than the MCU, which saw its ENTIRE SLATE for 2020 delayed for over a year in the face of Marvel Studios bowing to the inevitability of the Pandemic and unwilling to sacrifice those all-important box-office receipts by just sending their films straight to streaming. The most frustrating part for hardcore fans of the series was the delay of a standalone film that was already criminally overdue – the solo headlining vehicle of founding Avenger and bona fide female superhero ICON Natasha Romanoff, aka the Black Widow. Equally frustratingly, then, this film seems set to be overshadowed by real life controversy as star and producer Scarlett Johansson goes head-to-head with Disney in civil court over their breach-of-contract after they hedged their bets by releasing the film simultaneously in cinemas and on their own streaming platform, which has led to poor box office as many of the film’s potential audience chose to watch it at home instead of risk movie theatres with the virus still very much remaining a threat (and Disney have clearly reacted AGAIN, now backtracking on their release policy by instigating a new 45-day cinematic exclusivity window on all their big releases for the immediate future). But what of the film itself? Well Black Widow is an interesting piece of work, director Cate Shortland (Berlin Syndrome) and screenwriter Eric Pearson (Thor: Ragnarok) delivering a decidedly stripped-back, lean and intellectual beast that bears greater resemblance to the more cerebral work of the Russo Brothers on their Captain America films than the more classically bombastic likes of Iron Man, Thor or the Avengers flicks, concentrating on story and characters over action and spectacle as we wind back the clock to before the events of Infinity War and Endgame, when Romanoff was on the run after Civil War, hunted by the government-appointed forces of US Secretary of State “Thunderbolt” Ross (William Hurt) after violating the Sokovia Accords. Then a mysterious delivery throws her back into the fray as she finds herself targeted by a mysterious assassin, forcing her to team up with her estranged “sister” Yelena Belova (Midsommar’s Florence Pugh), another Black Widow who’s just gone rogue from the same Red Room Natasha escaped years ago, armed with a McGuffin capable of foiling a dastardly plot for world domination. The reluctant duo need help in this endeavour though, enlisting the aid of their former “parents”, veteran Widow and scientist Melina Vostokoff (Rachel Weisz) and Alexie Shostakov (Stranger Things�� David Harbour), aka the Red Guardian, a Russian super-soldier intended to be their counterpart to Captain America, who’s been languishing in a Siberian gulag for the last twenty years. After the Earth-shaking, universe-changing events of recent MCU events, this film certainly feels like a much more self-contained, modest affair, playing for much smaller stakes, but that doesn’t mean it’s any less worthy of our attention – this is as precision-crafted as anything we’ve seen from Marvel so far, but it also feels like a refreshing change of pace after all those enormous cosmic shenanigans, while the script is as tight as a drum, propelling a taut, suspense-filled thriller that certainly doesn’t scrimp on the action front. Sure, the set-pieces are very much in service of the story here, but they’re still the pre-requisite MCU rollercoaster rides, a selection of breathless chases and bone-crunching fights that really do play to the strengths of one of our favourite Avengers, but this is definitely one of those films where the real fireworks come when the film focuses on the characters – Johansson is so comfortable with her character she’s basically BECOME Natasha Romanoff, kickass and ruthless and complex and sassy and still just desperate for a family (though she hides it well throughout the film), while Weisz delivers one of her best performances in years as a peerless professional who keeps her emotions tightly reigned in but slowly comes to realise that she was never more happy than when she was pretending to be a simple mother, and Ray Winstone does a genuinely fantastic job of taking a character who could have been one of the MCU’s most disappointingly bland villains, General Dreykov, master of the Red Room, and investing him with enough oily charisma and intense presence to craft something truly memorable (frustratingly, the same cannot be said for the film’s supposed main physical threat, Taskmaster, who performs well in their frustratingly brief appearances but ultimately gets Darth Maul levels of short service). The true scene-stealers in the film, however, are Alexie and Yelena – Harbour’s clearly having the time of his life hamming it up as a self-important, puffed-up peacock of a superhero who never got his shot and is clearly (rightly) decidedly bitter about it, preferring to relive the life he SHOULD have had instead of remembering the good in the one he got; Pugh, meanwhile, is THE BEST THING IN THE WHOLE MOVIE, easily matching Johanssen scene-for-scene in the action stakes but frequently out-performing her when it comes to acting, investing Yelena with a sweet naivety and innocence and a certain amount of quirky geekiness that makes for one of the year’s most endearing female protagonists (certainly one who, if the character goes the way I think she will, is thoroughly capable of carrying the torch for the foreseeable future). In the end this is definitely one of the LEAST typical, by-the-numbers MCU films to date, and by delivering something a little different I think they’ve given us just the kind of leftfield swerve the series needs right now. It’s certainly one of their most fascinating and rewarding films so far, and since it seems to be Johansson’s final tour of duty as the Black Widow, it’s also a most fitting farewell indeed.

6. WRATH OF MAN – Guy Ritchie’s latest (regarded by many as a triumphant return to form, which I consider unfair since I don’t think he ever went away, especially after 2020’s spectacular The Gentlemen) is BY FAR his darkest film – let’s get this clear from the start. Anyone who knows his work knows that Ritchie consistently maintains a near flawless balance and humour and seriousness in his films that gives them a welcome quirkiness that is one of his most distinctive trademarks, so for him to suddenly deliver a film which takes itself SO SERIOUSLY is one hell of a departure. This is a film which almost REVELS in its darkness – Ritchie’s always loved bathing in man’s baser instincts, but Wrath of Man almost makes a kind of twisted VIRTUE out of wallowing in the genuine evils that men are capable of inflicting on each other. The film certainly kicks off as it means to go on – In a tour-de-force single-shot opening, we watch a daring armoured car robbery on the streets of Los Angeles that goes horrifically wrong, an event which will have devastating consequences in the future. Five months later, Fortico Security hires taciturn Brit Patrick Hill (Jason Statham) to work as a guard in one of their trucks, and on his first run he single-handedly foils another attempted robbery with genuinely uncanny combat skills. The company is thrilled, amazed by the sheer ability of their new hire, but Hill’s new colleagues are more concerned, wondering exactly what they’ve let themselves in for. After a second foiled robbery, it becomes clear that Hill’s reputation has grown, but fellow guard Haiden (Holt McCallany), aka “Bullet”, begins to suspect there might be something darker going on … Ritchie is firing on all cylinders here, delivering a PERFECT slow-burn suspense thriller which plays its cards close to its chest and cranks up its piano wire tension with artful skill as it builds to a devastating, knuckle-whitening explosive heist that acts as a cathartic release for everything that’s built up over the past hour and a half. In typical Ritchie style the narrative is non-linear, the story unfolding in four distinct parts told from clearly differentiated points of view, allowing the clues to be revealed at a trickle that effortlessly draws the viewer in as they fall deeper down the rabbit hole, leading to a harrowing but strangely poignant denouement which is perfectly in tune with everything that’s come before. It’s an immense pleasure finally getting to see Statham working with Ritchie again, and I don’t think he’s ever been better than he is here – he's always been a brilliantly understated actor, but there’s SO MUCH going on under Hill’s supposedly impenetrable calm that every little peek beneath the armour is a REVELATION; McCallany, meanwhile, has landed his best role since his short but VERY sweet supporting turn in Fight Club, seemingly likeable and fallible as the kind of easy-going co-worker anyone in the service industry would be THRILLED to have, but giving Bullet far more going on under the surface, while there are uniformly excellent performances from a top-shelf ensemble supporting cast which includes Josh Hartnett, Jeffrey Donovan (Burn Notice, Sicario), Andy Garcia, Laz Alonso (The Boys), Eddie Marsan, Niamh Algar (Raised By Wolves) and Darrell D’Silva (Informer, Domina), and a particularly edgy and intense turn from Scott Eastwood. This is one of THE BEST thrillers of the year, by far, a masterpiece of mood, pace and plot that ensnares the viewer from its gripping opening and hooks them right up to the close, a triumph of the genre and EASILY Guy Ritchie’s best film since Snatch. Regardless of whether or not it’s a RETURN to form, we can only hope he continues to deliver fare THIS GOOD in the future …

5. FEAR STREET (PARTS 1-3) – Netflix have gotten increasingly ambitious with their original filmmaking over the years, and some of this years’ offerings have reached new heights of epic intention. Their most exciting release of the summer was this adaptation of popular children’s horror author R.L. Stine’s popular book series, a truly gargantuan undertaking as the filmmakers set out to create an entire TRILOGY of films which were then released over three consecutive weekends. Interestingly, these films are most definitely NOT for kids – this is proper, no-holds-barred supernatural slasher horror, delivering highly calibrated shocks and precision jump scares, a pervading atmosphere of insidious dread and a series of inventively gruesome kills. The story revolves around two neighbouring small towns which have had vastly different fortunes over more than three centuries of existence – while the residents of Sunnyvale are unusually successful, living idyllic lives in peace and prosperity, luck has always been against the people of Shadyside, who languish in impoverishment, crime and misfortune, while the town has become known as the Murder Capital of the USA due to frequent spree killings. Some attribute this to the supposed curse of a local urban legend, Sarah Fier, who became known as the Fier Witch after her execution for witchcraft in 1668, but others dismiss this as simple superstition. Part 1 is set in 1994, as the latest outbreak of serial mayhem begins in Shadyside, dragging a small group of local teens – Deena Johnson (She Never Died’s Kiana Madeira) and Samantha Fraser (Olivia Scott Welch), a young lesbian couple going through a difficult breakup, Deena’s little brother Josh (The Haunted Hathaways’ Benjamin Flores Jr.), a nerdy history geek who spends most of his time playing video games or frequenting violent crime-buff online chatrooms, and their delinquent friends Simon (Eight Grade’s Fred Hechinger) and Kate (Julia Rehwald) – into the age-old ghostly conspiracy as they find themselves besieged by indestructible undead serial killers from the town’s past, reasoning that the only way they can escape with their lives is to solve the mystery and bring the Fier Witch some much needed closure. Part 2, meanwhile, flashes back to a previous outbreak in 1977, in which local sisters Ziggy (Stranger Things’ Sadie Sink) and Cindy Berman (Emily Rudd), together with future Sunnyvale sheriff Nick Goode (Ted Sutherland) were among the kids hunted by said killers during a summer camp “colour war”. As for Part 3, that goes all the way back to 1668 to tell the story of what REALLY happened to Sarah Fier, before wrapping up events in 1994, culminating in a terrifying, adrenaline-fuelled showdown in the Shadyside Mall. Throughout, the youthful cast are EXCEPTIONAL, Madeira, Welch, Flores Jr., Sink and Rudd particularly impressing, while there are equally strong turns from Ashley Zuckerman (The Code, Designated Survivor) and Community’s Gillian Jacobs as the grown-up versions of two key ’77 kids, and a fun cameo from Maya Hawke in Part 1. This is most definitely retro horror in the Stranger Things mould, perfectly executed period detail bringing fun nostalgic flavour to all three of the timelines while the peerless direction from Leigh Janiak (Honeymoon) and wire-tight, sharp-witted screenplays from Janiak, Kyle Killen (Lone Star, The Beaver), Phil Graziadel, Zak Olkewicz and Kate Trefry strike a perfect balance between knowing dark humour and knife-edged terror, as well as weaving an intriguingly complex narrative web that pulls the viewer in but never loses them to overcomplication. The design, meanwhile, is evocative, the cinematography (from Stanger Things’ Caleb Heymann) is daring and magnificently moody, and the killers and other supernatural elements of the film are handled with skill through largely physical effects. This is definitely not a standard, by-the-numbers slasher property, paying strong homage to the sub-genre’s rules but frequently subverting them with expert skill, and it’s as much fun as it is frightening. Give us some more like this please, Netflix!

4. THE SPARKS BROTHERS – those who’ve been following my reviews for a while will known that while I do sometimes shout about documentary films, they tend to show up in my runners-up lists – it’s a great rarity for one to land in one of my top tens. This lovingly crafted deep-dive homage to cult band Sparks, from self-confessed rabid fanboy Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, Scott Pilgrim), is something VERY SPECIAL INDEED, then … there’s a vague possibility some of you may have heard the name before, and many of you will know at least one or two of their biggest hits without knowing it was them (their greatest hit of all time, This Town Ain’t Big Enough for the Both of Us, immediately springs to mind), but unless you’re REALLY serious about music it’s quite likely you have no idea who they are, namely two brothers from California, Russell and Ronald Mael, who formed a very sophisticated pop-rock band in the late 60s and then never really went away, having moments of fame but mostly working away in the background and influencing some of the greatest bands and musical artists that followed them, even if many never even knew where that influence originally came from. Wright’s film is an engrossing joy from start to finish (despite clocking in at two hours and twenty minutes), following their eclectic career from obscure inception as Halfnelson, through their first real big break with third album Kimono My Place, subsequent success and then fall from popularity in the mid-70s, through several subsequent revitalisations, all the way up to the present day with their long-awaited cinematic breakthrough, revolutionary musical feature Annette – throughout Wright keeps the tone light and the pace breezy, allowing a strong and endearing sense of irreverence to rule the day as fans, friends and the brothers themselves offer up fun anecdotes and wax lyrical about what is frequently a larger-than-life tragicomic soap opera, utilising fun, crappy animation and idiosyncratic stock footage inserts alongside talking-head interviews that were made with a decidedly tongue-in-cheek style – Mike Myers good-naturedly rants about how we can see his “damned mole” while 80s New Romantic icons Nick Rhodes and John Taylor, while shot together, are each individually labelled as “Duran”. Ron and Russ themselves, meanwhile, are clearly having huge fun, gently ribbing each other and dropping some fun deadpan zingers throughout proceedings, easily playing to the band’s strong, idiosyncratic sense of hyper-intelligent humour, while the aforementioned celebrity talking-heads are just three amongst a whole wealth of famous faces that may surprise you – there’s even an appearance by Neil Gaiman, guys! Altogether this is 2+ hours of bright and breezy fun chock full of great music and fascinating information, and even hardcore Sparks fans are likely to learn more than a little over the course of the film, while for those who have never heard of Sparks before it’s a FANTASTIC introduction to one of the greatest ever bands that you’ve never heard of. With luck there might even be more than a few new fans before the year is out …

3. GUNPOWDER MILKSHAKE – Netflix’ BEST offering of the summer was this surprise hit from Israeli writer-director Navot Papushado (Rabies, Big Bad Wolves), a heavily stylised black comedy action thriller that passes the Bechdel Test with FLYING COLOURS. Playing like a female-centric John Wick, it follows ice-cold, on-top-of-her-game assassin Sam (Karen Gillan) as her latest assignment has some unfortunate side effects, leading her to take on a reparation job to retrieve some missing cash for the local branch of the Irish Mob. The only catch is that a group of thugs have kidnapped the original thief’s little girl, 12 year-old Emily (My Spy’s Chloe Coleman), and Sam, in an uncharacteristic moment of sympathy, decides to intervene, only for the money to be accidentally destroyed in the process. Now she’s got the Mob and her own employers coming after her, and she not only has to save her own skin but also Emily’s, leading her to seek help from the one person she thought she might never see again – her mother, Scarlet (Lena Headey), a master assassin in her own right who’s been hiding from the Mob herself for years. The plot may be simple but at times also a little over-the-top, but the film is never anything less than a pure, unadulterated pleasure, populated with fascinating, living and breathing characters of real complexity and nuance, while the script (co-written by relative newcomer Ehud Lavski) is tightly-reined and bursting with zingers. Most importantly, though, Papushado really delivers on the action front – these are some of the best set-pieces I’ve seen this year, Gillan, her co-stars and the various stunt-performers acquitting themselves admirably in a series of spectacular fights, gun battles and a particularly imaginative car chase that would be the envy of many larger, more expensive productions. Gillan and Coleman have a sweet, awkward chemistry, the MCU star particularly impressing in a subtly nuanced performance that also plays beautifully against Headey’s own tightly controlled turn, while there is awesome support from Angela Bassett, Michelle Yeoh and Carla Gugino as Sam’s adoptive aunts Anna May, Florence and Madeleine, a trio of “librarians” who run a fine side-line in illicit weaponry and are capable of unleashing some spectacular violence of their own; the film’s antagonists, on the other hand, are exclusively masculine – the mighty Ralph Inneson is quietly ruthless as Irish boss Jim McAlester, while The Terror’s Adam Nagaitis is considerably more mercurial as his mad dog nephew Virgil, and Paul Giamatti is the stately calm at the centre of the storm as Sam’s employer Nathan, the closest thing she has to a father. There’s so much to enjoy in this movie, not just the wonderful characters and amazing action but also the singularly engrossing and idiosyncratic style, deeply affecting themes of the bonds of found family and the healing power of forgiveness, and a rewarding through-line of strong women triumphing against the brutalities of toxic masculinity. I love this film, and I invite you to try it out, cuz I’m sure you will too.

2. THE SUICIDE SQUAD – the most fun I’ve had at the cinema so far this year is the long-awaited (thanks a bunch, COVID) redress of another frustrating imbalance from the decidedly hit and miss DCEU superhero franchise, in which Guardians of the Galaxy writer-director James Gunn has finally delivered a PROPER Suicide Squad movie after David Ayer’s painfully compromised first stab at the property back in 2016. That movie was enjoyable enough and had some great moments, but ultimately it was a clunky mess, and while some of the characters were done (quite) well, others were painfully botched, even ruined entirely. Thankfully Warner Bros. clearly learned their lesson, giving Gunn free reign to do whatever he wanted, and the end result is about as close to perfect as the DCEU has come to date. Once again the peerless Viola Davis plays US government official Amanda Waller, head of ARGUS and the undisputable most evil bitch in all the DC Universe, who presides over the metahuman prisoners of the notorious supermax Belle Reve Prison, cherry-picking inmates for her pet project Taskforce X, the titular Suicide Squad sent out to handle the kind of jobs nobody else wants, in exchange for years off their sentences but controlled by explosive implants injected into the base of their skulls. Their latest mission sees another motley crew of D-bags dispatched to the fictional South African island nation of Corto Maltese to infiltrate Jotunheim, a former Nazi facility in which a dangerous extra-terrestrial entity that’s being developed into a fearful bioweapon, with orders to destroy the project in order to keep it out of the hands of a hostile anti-American regime which has taken control of the island through a violent coup. Where the first Squad felt like a clumsily-arranged selection of stereotypes with a few genuinely promising characters unsuccessfully moulded into a decidedly forced found family, this new batch are convincingly organic – they may be dysfunctional and they’re all almost universally definitely BAD GUYS, but they WORK, the relationship dynamics that form between them feeling genuinely earned. Gunn has already proven himself a master of putting a bunch of A-holes together and forging them into band of “heroes”, and he’s certainly pulled the job off again here, dredging the bottom of the DC Rogues Gallery for its most ridiculous Z-listers and somehow managing to make them compelling. Sure, returning Squad-member Harley Quinn (the incomparable Margot Robbie, magnificent as ever) has already become a fully-realised character thanks to Birds of Prey, so there wasn’t much heavy-lifting to be done here, but Gunn genuinely seems to GET the character, so our favourite pixie-esque Agent of Chaos is an unbridled and thoroughly unpredictable joy here, while fellow veteran Colonel Rick Flagg (a particularly muscular and thoroughly game Joel Kinnaman) has this time received a much needed makeover, Gunn promoting him from being the first film’s sketchily-drawn “Captain Exposition” and turning him into a fully-ledged, well-thought-out human being with all the requisite baggage, including a newfound sense of humour; the newcomers, meanwhile, are a thoroughly fascinating bunch – reluctant “leader” Bloodsport/Robert DuBois (a typically robust and playful Idris Elba), unapologetic douchebag Peacemaker/Christopher Smith (probably the best performance I’ve EVER seen John Cena deliver), and socially awkward and seriously hard-done-by nerd (and by far the most idiotic DC villain of all time) the Polka-Dot Man/Abner Krill (a genuinely heart-breaking hangdog performance from Ant-Man’s David Dastmalchian); meanwhile there’s a fine trio of villainous turns from the film’s resident Big Bads, with Juan Diego Botta (Good Behaviour) and Joaquin Cosio (Quantum of Solace, Narcos: Mexico) making strong impressions as newly-installed dictator Silvio Luna and his corrupt right hand-man General Suarez, although both are EASILY eclipsed by the typically brilliant Peter Capaldi as louche and quietly deranged supervillain The Thinker/Gaius Greives (although the film’s ULTIMATE threat turns out to be something a whole lot bigger and more exotic). The film is ROUNDLY STOLEN, however, by a truly adorable double act (or TRIPLE act, if you want to get technical) – Daniella Melchior makes her breakthrough here in fine style as sweet, principled and kind-hearted narcoleptic second-generation supervillain Ratcatcher II/Cleo Cazo, who has the weird ability to control rats (and who has a pet rat named Sebastian who frequently steals scenes all on his own), while a particular fan-favourite B-lister makes his big screen debut here in the form of King Shark/Nanaue, a barely sentient anthropomorphic Great White “shark god” with an insatiable appetite for flesh and a naturally quizzical nature who was brilliantly mo-capped by Steve Agee (The Sarah Silverman Project, who also plays Waller’s hyperactive assistant John Economos) but then artfully completed with an ingenious vocal turn from Sylvester Stallone. James Gunn has crafted an absolute MASTERPIECE here, EASILY the best film he’s made to date, a riotous cavalcade of exquisitely observed and perfectly delivered dark humour and expertly wrangled narrative chaos that has great fun playing with the narrative flow, injects countless spot-on in-jokes and irreverent but utterly essential throwaway sight-gags, and totally endears us to this glorious gang of utter morons right from the start (in which Gunn delivers what has to be one of the most skilful deep-fakes in cinematic history). Sure, there’s also plenty of action, and it’s executed with the kind of consummate skill we’ve now come to expect from Gunn (the absolute highlight is a wonderfully bonkers sequence in which Harley expertly rescues herself from captivity), but like everything else it’s predominantly played for laughs, and there’s no getting away from the fact that this film is an absolute RIOT. By far the funniest thing I’ve seen so far this year, and if I’m honest this is the best of the DCEU offerings to date, too (for me, only the exceptional Birds of Prey can compare) – if Warner Bros. have any sense they’ll give Gunn more to do VERY SOON …

1. A QUIET PLACE, PART II – while UK cinemas finally reopened in early May, I was determined that my first trip back to the Big Screen for 2021 was gonna be something SPECIAL, and indeed I already knew what that was going to be. Thankfully I was not disappointed by my choice – 2018’s A Quiet Place was MY VERY FAVOURITE horror movie of the 2010s, an undeniable masterclass in suspense and sustained screen terror wrapped around a refreshingly original killer concept, and I was among the many fans hoping we’d see more in the future, especially after the film’s teasingly open ending. Against the odds (or perhaps not), writer-director/co-star John Krasinski has pulled off the seemingly impossible task of not only following up that high-wire act, but genuinely EQUALLING it in levels of quality – picking up RIGHT where the first film left off (at least after an AMAZING scene-setting opening in which we’re treated to the events of Day 1 of the downfall of humanity), rejoining the remnants of the Abbott family as they’re forced by circumstances to up-sticks from their idyllic farmhouse home and strike out into the outside world once more, painfully aware at all times that they must maintain perfect silence to avoid the ravenous attentions of the lethal blind alien beasties that now sit at the top of the food chain. Circumstances quickly become dire, however, and embattled mother Evelyn (Emily Blunt) is forced to ally herself with estranged family friend Emmett (Cillian Murphy), now a haunted, desperate vagrant eking out a perilous existence in an abandoned factory, in order to safeguard the future of her children Regan (Millicent Simmonds), Marcus (Noah Jupe) and their newborn baby brother. Regan, however, discovers evidence of more survivors, and with her newfound weapon against the aliens she recklessly decides to set off on her own in the hopes of aiding them before it’s too late … it may only be his second major blockbuster as a director, but Krasinski has once again proven he’s a true heavyweight talent, effortlessly carving out fresh ground in this already magnificently well-realised dystopian universe while also playing magnificently to the established strengths of what came before, delivering another peerless thrill-ride of unbearable tension and knuckle-whitening terror. The central principle of utilising sound at a very strict premium is once again strictly adhered to here, available sources of dialogue once again exploited with consummate skill while sound design and score (another moody triumph from Marco Beltrami) again become THE MOST IMPORTANT aspects of the whole production. The ruined world is once again realised beautifully throughout, most notably in the nightmarish environment of a wrecked commuter train, and Krasinski cranks up the tension before unleashing it in merciless explosions in a selection of harrowing encounters which guaranteed to leave viewers in a puddle of sweat. The director mostly stays behind the camera this time round, but he does (obviously) put in an appearance in the opening flashback as the late Lee Abbott, making a potent impression which leaves a haunting absence that’s keenly felt throughout the remainder of the film, while Blunt continues to display mother lion ferocity as she fights to keep her children safe and Jupe plays crippling fear magnificently but is now starting to show a hidden spine of steel as Marcus finally starts to find his courage; the film once again belongs, however, to Simmonds, the young deaf actress once and for all proving she’s a genuine star in the making as she invests Regan with fierce wilfulness and stubborn determination that remains unshakeable even in the face of unspeakable horrors, and the relationship she develops with Emmett, reluctant as it may be, provides a strong new emotional focus for the story, Murphy bringing an attractive wounded humanity to his role as a man who’s lost anything and is being forced to learn to care for something again. This is another triumph of the genre AND the artform in general, a masterpiece of atmosphere, performance and storytelling which builds magnificently on the skilful foundations laid by the first film, as well as setting things up perfectly for a third instalment which is all but certain to follow. I definitely can’t wait.

#movies 2021 #werewolves within #werewolves within movie #the tomorrow war #army of the dead #Black Widow #black widow movie #black widow mcu #wrath of man #fear street #fear street trilogy #fear street movies #The Sparks Brothers #gunpowder milkshake #the suicide squad #a quiet place part ii #a quiet place part 2 #awesome sauce

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crusherthedoctor · 4 years ago

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Can we have some unpopular Sonic opinions?

I tried to cram in a lot, so I hope this satisfies you. :P I tried to stick to the ones that I haven't brought up quite as often, since by this point, we all know that I think IDW's storytelling is dire, SA2's story is overrated, X Eggman is an embarrassing portrayal (at least from season 2 onwards), Blaze shouldn't be handcuffed to Silver, Shadow's backstory had issues with or without the Black Arms, Neo Metal Sonic looks silly, etc. But anyway, here we go:

- Knuckles may be tricky to incorporate into plots that don't relate to Angel Island, but making him obsessed with his duties is no better than having him forget about Angel Island entirely.

- I like Marine, and never found her annoying. Oh, I understood what they were trying to do with her, but I honestly wasn't put off by her, and found her Aussie lingo more endearing if anything. Since her debut was during the period in my life where where I couldn't stand Sonic himself, I instead thought he was irritating (and hypocritical) for getting annoyed with her for doing shit he would often be guilty of.

- Silver is just as guilty of being shoehorned into games and plots as the Deadly Six are. Having more fans than the latter is irrelevant, since we're still talking about a character who constantly has to time travel in order to be present.

- Speaking of Silver, if he has to stick around, please do something different with him. They've pulled the doomed future routine multiple times now, and it's been boring every single time. I wasn't interested when it involved Iblis. I wasn't interested when it involved Knuckles drinking the edgy Kool Aid. I wasn't interested when it involved a council of dumbasses... give it a rest already.

- The Tails Doll can work as a mildly creepy thing, with maybe more to it than meets the eye when it's time for a boss fight or what have you. But the memes about him stealing your soul are just dumb, and I thought it was dumb even back in my teenage youth.

- “Eggman is supposed to be clownish!” Yeah, well he's also meant to be a genuine villain with a 300 IQ. These qualities don't have to be mutually exclusive.

- “Sonic is supposed to have attitude!” Yeah, well that's not the same thing as being an absolute cunt. Sonic was only ever meant to come off as having an edge compared to Mario. He was never meant to be a GTA-tier protagonist.

- Rouge is not a villain, and never was a villain. Literally the whole point of her role in SA2 was to reveal that she was working against Eggman and Shadow the whole time, albeit using sneakier tactics to do so. You'd think all those people who exult SA2's story would remember this, but apparently not. She barely even qualifies as an anti-hero, since aside from stealing the Master Emerald, she rarely does anything morally questionable otherwise. She's got a lot more good in her than people give her credit for.

- Captain Whisker is a better Eggman Nega than the actual Eggman Nega. And as far as robot characters in this franchise go, Johnny's design is pretty underrated.

- I don't like Iblis or Mephiles, but I DO like Solaris, and it annoys me that it was out of focus for most of the story due to all the time spent on its less interesting halves. Had they kept the backstory with the Duke and his experiments, and worked from there, I think they could have provided an interesting contrast with Chaos (since Solaris can also qualify as a monster with a sympathetic backstory) instead of recycling the surface level schtick.

- Black Doom may technically be just as bad as Mephiles, Nega, Scourge, Mimic, etc, since he's yet another villain with one-note characterization and fucked over Eggman. But because he never gained a disproportionate fandom, he doesn't annoy me to the same extent. It's easier to ignore him by comparison, and his Dr. Claw voice and face shaped like a lady's delicate part make him enjoyable to mock.

- Likewise, while Lyric is also on the same level as these other villains, it's easier to dismiss him because I was never invested in the Boom games anyway, and being an obvious alternate universe (compared to Sonic X or IDW, which retain the Modern designs and plot elements), it never had an effect on the main series. I also unironically like his design, and if nothing else, at least this snake didn't start a hypnotism fetish across the internet.

- Sally - and the rest of the Freedom Fighters for that matter - have had their importance in the franchise severely inflated. They may have been lucky to be the face of popular media (SatAM and Archie), but they're not these magnificent entities that the game characters are but a speck of dust in comparison to. Having a “legacy” doesn't make them more entitled to shit than any other character, old or new.

- Conceptually, the treasure hunting gameplay is one of the better alternate gameplay styles IMO. But it was let down in SA2 by its one track minded radar (the levels may have been big, but I don't think that would have been an issue on its own if the radar was better). If they brought it back and made it more like SA1's treasure hunting, I'd be all for it, although it would probably be better suited for a spinoff title.

- This goes for a lot of games, but when it comes to 2D, I prefer sprites over models. Not that the Rush models are bad (though the ones in Chronicles sure as fuck are), but the sprites in Mania and the Advance trilogy are just so charming and full of character.

- I actually like Marble Zone. Yeah, the level design is a bit blocky, but I love the concept of an underground temple prison, mixed with lava elements in a zone that otherwise isn't a traditional volcano level.

- I also like Sandopolis Zone. Again, completely understand why it's not the most popular zone around, but I've been a sucker for the Ancient Egyptian aesthetic since childhood (you can thank Crash 3 for that), and Act 1 is visually stunning.

- I prefer the JP soundtrack for Sonic CD over the US version overall... but I also prefer Sonic Boom over You Can Do Anything.

- SA2's soundtrack isn't bad by any means - I love Rouge's tracks, and The Last Scene is one of my favourite pieces of music - but as far as variety goes, it's a step down from SA1's soundtrack.

- If Sonic X-Treme had been released, it probably would have been unenjoyable and confusing. Whatever your thoughts on SA1, it was probably the better option between the two as far as Sonic's first legitimate translation into 3D goes.

- I have no qualms with Modern Sonic and the other Modern designs and characters, but I also fully acknowledge that changing gears from Adventure onwards - and doing it with a great amount of fanfare - was always going to create one of the biggest divides in the fandom, and fans shouldn't act surprised that this happened. The fact that they felt the need to hype up a new design and direction in the first place (compared to Mario, who has mostly been the same since the beginning, with only the occasional minor change with little fanfare) also indicates that they weren't confident enough in Sonic and his universe being the way it was, which often gets ignored by all the “SEGA have no confidence!!!” complaints you see with their recent games.

- Unleashed did not deserve the incredibly harsh reviews it received back in the day... but it doesn't deserve its current sacred cow status either. It had more effort put into it than '06 to be sure, and I can respect that, but much of it was misguided effort, and even if you like the Werehog, you have to admit that the idea came at the absolute worst time. The intro cutscene may be awesome, as is the Egg Dragoon fight, but 2% doesn't make up the entire game. Chip was also quite annoying, and I wasn't particularly sad when he pressed F in the chat at the end.

- On the other hand, while Colours definitely has its shortcomings, and people have every right to criticse those shortcomings, a lot of its most vocal detractors tend to have a stick up their arse about the game because people actually enjoyed it, and it had a gimmick that people actually liked. Yes, it may have been the first game to have those writers everyone hates, but then SA1 was the first game to give the characters alternate gameplay styles and have other villains upstage Eggman, so...

- Forces is absolutely not on the level of '06. It's nowhere close. A game being flawed does not make it the next '06, clickbait YouTubers. Or should I say, the game they want to retroactively apply '06's reception to, since they've been trying hard to magically retcon '06's own quality...

- To echo @beevean, ALL of the 3D stories have their issues. SA1 is probably the most well-rounded of them on the whole, but even that one isn't perfect.

- To echo another opinion, although I do love SA1, I'm not crazy over the idea of a remake, and would prefer them to just take Sonic's gameplay from SA1 and work from there. Because with a remake, you're stuck in a hard spot: Do you keep it the way it is bar the expected graphical upgrades, and risk accusations of not doing anything to actually improve the experience? Or do you try to address past criticisms, and risk the wrath of the fans who will inevitably go on a #NotMyAdventure crusade about it? What people fail to consider is that the Crash and Spyro remakes were accepted gracefully because their original iterations were still unanimously beloved for the most part, whereas SA1 - and especially SA2 - have always been divisive, and have only gotten moreso over the years.

- People take their preferences for the character's voice actors too seriously. I have my own favourites like anyone else, but I don't make a big deal out of it.

- And with fandom voice actors, they usually focus too much on doing a basic impression of their preferred official voice actor, and not enough on the acting. So you end up getting a lot of fan voices who sound like decent impressions of Ryan Drummond or Jason Griffith on the surface, but they sound utterly empty beyond that impression, because there's no oomph or depth to the actual emotions. They think about the actor rather than the character, when it should really be the other way around.

- The thing with Ian Flynn is that he is capable of telling a decent story, and he can portray some characters well. But he's proven time and time again that everything will go off the rails if he's given too much freedom (ironic, given how quick he is to point the finger at mandates when something goes wrong).

- Ian Flynn and Shiro Maekawa are not the only people in the world who are allowed to write for Sonic. I understand that one should be cautious when seeking out new writing talent, but for all the fandom's accusations of playing it safe, they sure aren't in a rush to experiment outside of their own comfort zone.

- And of course, the big one: You don't fix the franchise's current problems by crawling back to its previous problems. It's much more helpful and constructive to discuss the good and bad alike with each of the games. Less “THIS GOOD, MODERN BAD”, and more “This could work, but maybe without that part...”

#Crusher's Asks #Opinion #Sonic the Hedgehog

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capriccio-con-espressione · 5 years ago

Text

N(oona) C(raving) T(endencies)

This is my 3k words of analysis of NCT members who I think are likely to have a noona kink based on the ask. Enjoy!

Disclaimer:

By this I am not saying that other members not mentioned here don't have any possibility to date an older female/enjoys referring to their dommes as noona, it's just like the tendency/preference isn't that clear or obvious in my opinion. Do not send in rude comments just because you disagree though I will appreciate some feedback.

Warning: Sub!Taeyong, Sub!Jungwoo, Sub!Mark, Sub!Xiaojun, Sub!Jaemin, Domme!Reader, Femdom, Noona kink, Degradation, Whipping, Spanking, Pegging, Public humiliation, Role-play, Oral sex, Sex toys, Dry humping, Dildo riding, Mentions of mental health issues/negative emotions

Taeyong

This boi is insufferably kinky and subby

In Baby Don't Like It he stated he likes it rough

In Whiplash he literally emphasized again how much of a painslut he is

And his ideal type is “Someone who can teach me, lead me, and make up for my flaws.”

To conclude this, Tyongie may be craving for a strong, mature female's guidance when he's lost and insecure, a noona domme who can heal all the anxiety, stress and inner guilt he's been through by her ruthless discipline, plus, the age hierarchy implied in the title will allow him to sink into his headspace even more.

He's such a sucker for this torment that, with one stern look from you, he will automatically strip naked and ready himself in the humiliating positions assigned by you before without any spoken command, and obediently waits for the first slap/whip while trembling in both anticipation and thrill

I can totally picture him begging his noona for more punishment, though already red, sore and sobbing

"...Ahhh noona I'm sorry... *sniffles* please punish me more for being a bad, ill-mannered boy...don't stop mmmff-"

However, that being said, if that noona domme is actually younger than him, he may be down for the added humiliation due to the role reversal

Imagine that younger domme dismissively orders him to call her "noona" in public, and commands him to use honorifics to speak to her, the exact type and wording that make him sound humbled…

He will be turned on by that while people around you shoot puzzled gazes toward you as they wonder why the hierarchy dynamics aren’t in the right place, making Taeyong feel embarrassed as well as aroused

By the way, some role-plays can be added to spice up your sex lives as well, e.g. CEO x employee, professor x student, guard x prisoner, to name a few, as long as you are in power and makes sure to beat the naughtiness and disobedience out of him

Though being intensely kinky during the session, aftercare for this precious boy has to be really fulfilling as well

So you have to be able to play an attentive caring role just like a noona (a little bit maternal figure as well, I have to admit)

Make sure the process is all intimate and brimming with praises, reassuring the broken figure that the "bad boy" is "forgiven" to thoroughly sew up his wounds

Bubble bath, scented candles with calming aroma, sensual massage with essential oils of his favorite scent and texture, or having some good quality snacks while cuddling, are all good options for aftercare because all of them can reinforce the idea that he’s “worthy” of anyone’s love and attention due to the physical contact and interactions allowed in them

So steamy and sensual that if done correctly, Taeyong may be in the mood for another round of vanilla sex to get an extra gratifying orgasm again

Jungwoo

A clingy little pup that will follow you around and will cutely pout when not given enough attention or skinship

Loves to be babied and taken care of, so he would love the accompany of a sweet caring noona to make him feel at ease (borderline mommy kink as well)

Remember that Valentine's Day Facetime vid where he just referred to the viewer insert as "noona"? That probably implied his preference for an older female figure

Will do anything to please you since he's very love-starved and doesn't want you to feel uncared for because he knows too well how much that sucks, he will shower you with the same amount of affection he expects from you as well

Anxious and always worries about if he's still "needed", so that's why he will opt for a perspicacious noona to counsel him for his delicate soul to rely on, and shower him with the adequate amount of love then pamper him

Melts at cute pet names such as pup, angel, prince, little fairy, snoopy or any endearing terms because they make intimacy upgrade to another level

May act a bit playful or even borderline bratty from time to time, mainly to spice things up and get some sexy punishment to release his excess nervousness

But hardcore stuff definitely isn't for him, since the soft boy can't tolerate much pain.

Light impact play on his erogenous zones is fine, but he enjoys the feelings of vulnerability and exposure more rather than the pain itself

The type to let out loud moans even when just getting his underwear peeled down because the instant when the air hits his flesh is a huge turn-on for him, so much to the extent he is yearning to beg you to fuck him just from getting naked

Very sensitive, literally gasps, squirms and grinds every time when you caress or slap his sweet zones and will beg you to stop though you know he's enjoying it too much

Will repeat your title like a mantra as if it's the only thing that can keep him sane

Be wailing like "Hnnngh noona pretty pleeaase stop spanking me ahhh noona no I'll be a good boy pleaseee it stings noona I'm sorryyy hahhh" but the way how his hips rock against your lap will betray his words, giving you more reason to torture him

Loves being pegged and used, or getting his all possible sensitive spots stimulated and stuffed at once because he just lusts after every inch of his body being thoroughly pleasured inside-out, and drown in the depths of overstimulation and hedonistic ecstasy to feel completely loved and secured

Edging is really suitable for this delicate boy because of the enhanced experience after prolonged denial, which makes the orgasm more earth-shattering than ever

Though he will be a teary puddle and begs you to end the ordeal, the uncertainty and feebleness associated with edging will turn his mind into a soaring frenzy state even more, enabling him to release all his pent-up frustrations and negativity while finally allowed to empty his balls

Likely to get emotional and will hold on to you very tight during post-climax aftercare due to the intense sensation that just washed through his mind and body, feeling extra fragile and really needs to be thoroughly cared for

Petting his head, kissing his tears away with "I love you"s constantly coming out of your lips is a must, as he drifts to sleep like a fallen angel nestled in his safe space, which is the warm spot between your chest and your arms

Mark

An easily flustered mess when it comes to straightforward proactive girls

Having left his family and devoted himself to the industry at such a tender age, he may want to be the more passive, dependent one in a relationship to make up for his lost adolescence

So he's probably looking for someone who he can rely on and takes the initiative in bed, while all he has to do is to close his eyes and enjoy himself

When he finds you, to whom he trusts enough to pour his doubts and perplexion about life, and is always guaranteed to receive some really thoughtful response, he sees you as someone very valuable.

But more than that, you are a woman who seems to have endless fuel of passion, the exact type with whom Mark can replenish his strength when he got engulfed by the abyss of stress

Also, you are notably witty with words that sometimes aids his lyric writing process, but that means he can never win against you in any friendly bickers as well, especially when you cite some of his lyrics to roast him that renders him speechless.

Yet somehow, he gets hooked to the feeling of being a powerless flustered bundle in front of you

Gradually it develops into dirty imagination of you manipulating him into a mindless mess

And you are exactly the burning blaze that will scorch his body with vehement desires, make him so depraved yet still internally demand more

Never did he realize that being obedient for a noona figure will feel this good until he met you, his ideal match

You will guide him how to touch himself properly like a big sis, then demonstrate it yourself followed by some edging, as he whimpers at the sense of loss every time his build-up is ruined, pleading you with those big puppy eyes

And when you get to peg him, he will love the feeling that he's completely owned by you, getting his ass spanked while fucked also serves as a good reminder of who he belongs to

Doesn't talk much during sex to indulge fully. Expect some incoherent moans and weak chants of your title from him instead

But the boy also knows how to reciprocate when he's ordered to. He knows how to work that rapper tongue too well even if his brain is not fully functioning

His tongue can do wonders to your folds and is guaranteed to perform great with your strap in his mouth, looking up at you with those pretty doe eyes all the time to see if you like how he's doing

Will probably require some time and space for himself to just chill and cool down during aftercare instead of being very clingy, all you need to do is to make sure he’s comfy, or place a glass of drink he likes beside him while he’s organizing his thoughts or doing anything that fits his mood.

No extra words or skinship is needed at this moment because based on your understanding and observations of him, he’ll be fully recharged when you decide he is most of the time

Xiaojun

A sensitive, sentimental bub that ponders a lot about lots of things

Passionate about music, and perhaps some classic literature or philosophy

So he may want his partner to share the same interests so he can love the way she wanna talk even more

Likely to crumble for a woman who’s sophisticated, cultured and speaks in a refined manner, and is often willing to discuss some profound matters with him, to the extent sometimes Xiaojun cannot keep up easily and may feel a bit flustered, but is secretly admiring her wits deep down while she’s patiently explaining some new art concepts or ideas to him

Hence, when he finds you, who is capable of playing that role and opening up new worlds to him, he is not only delighted but also excited and intrigued, anticipating every chance to talk to you more but when he finally seizes the opportunity, he will appear to smile shyly, avoiding your gaze all the time but whenever he slightly peeks at you, his eyes will be glittering with dreamy haze of enchantment

Because to him, knowledgeable women seem to have boundless potential that makes them distinctively mysterious as well as alluring, and he’s all about succumbing to that vast endearing wilderness, with you being the compass controlling his every move (lowkey sapiosexual I guess)

The fact that you are the embodiment of versatility, artistic grace, and mellow charisma, yet all cordial to him just like a jiě jie (noona in Mandarin) next door will flutter his heart as he falls for you even more

So once you finally end up in bed, he will be very enthralled and eager to please, and will literally subserviently worship every inch of your body as if you are a Goddess while complimenting you all the time

Yet not long after he will be amazed by another fact about you, that is, you are the definition of the saying “Sweet in the streets, freak in the sheets”

Xiaojun will soon find himself restrained while bent in compromising positions, with toys he never imagined a sweet person like you will ever own torturing his body and lust-crazed soul, as you whisper nasty degrading things to him, skewing and corrupting some classic literary works during the process, which makes him intoxicated in another sinfully imaginative aspect of your mind

Since he’s a sucker for anything about you, neglect play is a perfect way to torment him.

Chain him up and place a toy on him, which can be either a vibrator or a prostate massager, before leaving him untouched, and watch him writhe and moan helplessly in unsatisfied heat, with his distinctive brows furrowed, eyes glossy with plead and need, a beautiful image perfect to be ruined

Open to lots of kinks since you are able to make them gratifying and mind-blowing every time as he becomes closer to your ideal notion of subby boy toy with every progress

Will still remain a blushy mess when ordered to beg or admit something humiliating even after getting fucked multiple times, though he likes it so much

Something simple and lewd like “jiě jie please come in and fuck my slutty hole” “My pathetic dick only exists to be ravished by jiě jie” works well for him as he finally climaxes

This precious pretty boy is not all passive when receiving aftercare. Instead, he will sensually plant kisses all over your body while telling you how good you made him feel and how deeply he loves you

Melts and buries his face into the crook of your neck or sheets later on when you say the same back to him and praise him for taking you so well

Few moments of silent bliss will pass between you before you guide him back to reality again

Jaemin

Another little painslut that wishes to be tamed and roughed up

His tolerance of pain may not be as high as Taeyong, but he likes the humiliation as much as the older does

Being an idol is stressful and suppressing, so he desperately needs to find some release through some pleasurable pain for the endorphin rush

Preferably receiving it from a noona-like figure who definitely knows what she’s doing, and again the hierarchy from her title will enable him to feel floaty and more deserving of the punishment

He’s the type to be horny really often and does barely anything to hide it, qualifying him as a very communicative, responsive and expressive sub

So he acts up all flirty and bratty in front of females who he deems as potential targets, to evaluate who’s probably sadistic enough to cater to his needs judging from their reactions, and of course, your dismissive attitude and sharp chastisement on his behavior intrigue him

Then he will make a further approach to gain your attention, from unsolicited winks and aegyo to cheesy pick-up lines, even going as far as some skinship that you are smart enough to know how intentional it is, all screaming brat demeanor that gets you irritated and riled up

Once he finally successfully gets you to bare his bottom and bend him over your lap, he’s a mesmerized moaning mess while enjoying basking in your tauntingly degrading words, admitting he’s noona’s dimwitted slut even before you ask him that

But of course, a sound spanking is still not enough to quench his submissive needs, he will literally shamelessly beg for more

In a provocative way

He will blatantly seduce you, from inappropriately touching you to straight-up humping you until you lose it to punish him for being obnoxiously needy, tying him up and dishing out toys or other implements that can deliver even more intense pain

At first, he will feign reluctance by pouting or complaining how much it hurts even though it’s still far from what he is able to take, in order to infuriate you and provoke more out of what you can give him

Being insatiable as he is, after some pain inflicted on him, he will reveal his true masochistic self and directly asks you to punish him harder just like Taeyong will do, but Jaemin’s self-degradation will be much more hardcore and a bit creative

“Noona please do it harder! Ahh- I’ve been badder than that! Make your naughty indecent-minded whore cum just by paddling me because I’m that pathetic mmmff-”

When you are dicking him down, he will beg you to destroy his hole and be really graphic about it, making his intentions of wanting you to abuse him like a fucktoy utterly clear to drive you wilder, with that iconic blissful smile plastered on his pretty features

He will be obsessed with your powerful strength while ramming into him so much that he will masturbate by riding a dildo while moaning loud enough for you to take notice and break into the room

After you are pissed that he’s playing with himself without your permission, he will be all like “But I missed noona’s big mighty cock so much that I can’t wait hnnnghh noona please come punish my horny hole and make it so swollen and sore that it won’t whore up ever again pleeaaseeeee”

You will definitely be so sexually active and satisfied with him as your sub because of his neediness and salacious talk to ignite your dominant desires

Even though he enjoys getting fucked all over to earn some revival to his work-drained soul, and appears to recover really quickly after orgasms, even capable of engaging in some playful conversations with you, it’s still likely for him to feel hollow and internally worn out due to the drastic neurochemical change but he won’t make it obvious

So you will need to be really observant and keep reassuring him for his well-being because all the excessive stress he’s been struggling through that makes him this submissive is stemmed from his desperate needs for praise and recognition

That’s also one of the reasons why I think he will be into a noona domme because approval from superiors is relatively more rewarding

But with proper aftercare, he’ll stay hooked to you and continue to pleasure both himself and you with matching kinky desires

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keelywolfe · 4 years ago

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FIC: The Rose and the Thorn: Chapter 10 (Mafia AU)

Summary: We left off with Edge and Rus on a cliffhanger, let's see where they go from there!

Tags: Spicyhoney, Cherryberry, Mafia AU, Flower Shop AU, Violence, First Meetings

~~*~~

Read on AO3

Read it here!

~~*~~

Rus knew what he looked like. Tall, gangling skeleton and his bones were thin, almost delicate. Most people probably thought a stiff breeze would send him off like a tumbleweed and they were sort of right. He would’ve had more than a couple scars from a childhood from tripping over his own feet if his brother wasn’t such a good healer.

But if you took his innate clumsiness out of the equation, it was a load of bullshit, really. He’d helped his brother set up their garden, hauled bags of soil and manure, lugged oversized flowerpots, carried fencing and poles. He wasn’t weak, thank you very much, but even he had to admit, holding up a Monster of Edge’s size for any length of time was pushing him to his limits.

Luckily, he didn’t have to manage long. Edge caught his balance quickly, rocked unsteadily back to his feet and once Rus wasn’t completely blanketed by tall skeleton, he got a better view of the Dogs standing on either side of him, helping hold him up. Okay, they were at least part of the reason Edge hadn’t fallen on him, so what, he was pretty sure he did his part.

More Dogs, wow, did they buy these guys by the six pack? They were pretty good at the stoic, almost as good as Edge, but Rus didn’t miss their brief, amused tail wags. Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, watching him trying to catch Edge must’ve been a funny sight, like a meek village fool trying to catch a crumbling mountain.

But watching them immediately school their expressions to bland seriousness when Edge looked at them was even better.

Large hands settled on his shoulders, drawing his attention back to Edge and more to the point, his face, holy fuck—

“I’m all right,” Edge started, and no, just no.

“you certainly don’t look like it!” Rus snapped. He took hold of one of Edge’s sleeves, flinching at sight of the charred fray that was all that remained of his gloves. “come on, for pity’s sake, come sit down!”

Edge didn’t really resist, bemusedly letting Rus lead the way down the hallway. Only for Rus to stop a few steps in, turning back to admit sheepishly. “um. i’m not sure where you were going?”

He hadn’t heard any of the Dogs speak yet, but that wasn’t entirely unusual, some Monsters didn’t use a verbal language. It didn’t stop one of them from letting out a snicker, hastily quelled when Edge slanted him a dour look.

“This way, flower shop.” Edge took the lead and stayed on his feet mostly under his own steam with the occasional steadying hand from one of the Dogs. He led the way to another of the thousand doors, only this one had a panel that opened to reveal a keypad. Rus pointedly didn’t watch as Edge punched in the code and went inside.

But it wasn’t an infirmary of any sort or even a bathroom. Inside was a large bedroom, dominated by an enormous four poster bed that was covered in an fluffy comforter and huge pillows, with actual curtains hung around it, like they’d taken an accidental trip with the Ghost of Gyftmas Past and wandered into the bedroom of Ebeneezer Scrooge. Rus hovered awkwardly by the door as the Dogs helped Edge to one of the wide sofas set in a half-circle in a sort of open-air sitting room.

Once Edge was settled, the Dogs took their leave and Rus didn’t miss the wink one of them sent his way.

Well, it seemed they were expecting him to play nurse, not exactly a role he’d had much experience in. One look at Edge had him setting his shoulders, ready to step up and give it his best shot, though if there were any cracks about him putting on a little white dress, he was out.

Or maybe he was fooling himself, because he couldn’t possibly leave Edge alone like this. His clothes were streaked with burnt marks, the fine suit from that morning looked like it only recently stopped smoldering. Worse of all, the bone all down one side of his face was scorched and blackened, and Rus supposed it was a small mercy that the damage was on the already injured side of his skull.

Just looking at it made nausea lurch up into his throat. Rus swallowed it down and walked over, biting the tip of his tongue and focusing on that tiny hurt while he inspected the damages.

It must be painful, but Edge didn’t flinch from Rus’s timid prodding as he tried to decide if he actually could help or if he needed to find a phone to call for someone more qualified. So much soot and who knew what damage beneath it. Rus blinked hard as sympathetic tears welled; he’d always hated seeing anything hurt, Rus was the one getting teased for rescuing worms from the sidewalks after a storm and giving the pigeons in the park the crusts from his sandwiches. A thumb grazed underneath his socket, wiping away the trickle of tears, and Rus could smell the smoky char on Edge’s ruined gloves.

“It’s not that bad, flower shop,” Edge murmured. “I’m only a little crisp around the edges.” If he were trying for lightness, he failed, and Rus could feel wetness escaping from around his touch, trickling down his cheekbones. “Don’t,” Edge tried, “You don’t need to—"

“this is about us, isn’t it?” Rus interrupted softly. He wasn’t sure what kind of fool Edge thought he was, but he could at least manage to put 2 and 2 together and know that a vengeful fire monster who was prone to kidnappings likely matched up with fresh burns.

Edge said nothing and that was all the answer Rus needed.

“then i think i do.” Rus drew away, wiping impatiently at his damp cheeks bones with his sleeve. “where’s the bathroom?”

He followed where Edge pointed and one step inside was enough to stifle his remaining tears. If he thought his own lavatory was opulent, this one seemed to belong more in a palace than above a strip club in the red-light district, all of it gleaming dark marble streaked with gold. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and sighed. All his efforts to obey his brother’s scold to keep his new clothes clean ruined by smudges of soot streaked all down his shirt and a full set of handprints impressed on his shoulders.

Welp, guess it was a good thing he probably wasn’t going to be doing the laundry.

Under the sink was a basin that he filled halfway with cool water, along with a well-appointed first aid kit. Rus snagged both along with a couple clean washcloths and clumsily carried the lot of it out, only spilling a couple splashes of water to disappear in the lush carpet.

Edge hadn’t moved, only watched him with an intensity that sent an odd prickle down Rus’s spine. Whatever, let him stare. Rus ignored it to set his newfound supplies on the coffee table and sat on the sofa next to him to get to work. First, wetting a washcloth and very gently washing away the layers of soot to reveal the chalky, damaged bone beneath. It actually wasn’t too bad, he was relieved to see, at least Edge was right about that. Most of it was filth, the only real damage seemed to be to the very side of his face, a ragged line that ran from his forehead nearly to his chin. Edge never made a sound even when Rus had to really scrub to clear away the sooty blackness. The friction must have hurt terribly, but he allowed Rus to clean him up as he muttering vague apologies the entire time, because honestly, if he’d been the one hurt, Rus would have been howling for mercy by now.

The silence grew to be too much, nothing but the splash of water as he wrung out the cloth again and Edge’s crimson eye lights following his every move. Luckily, filling silences with nervous chatter was one of Rus’s greatest skills.

“i’m glad the bathroom was close,” Rus admitted with a self-deprecating laugh, “if it was in the hallway, i would’ve been a while. i’m not sure if i could find anything in this labyrinth.”

“It’s not as big as it seems,” Edge’s sockets fell half-closed as Rus gingerly cleaned around the delicate, damaged rim, showing only a bare gleam of crimson. “You only think it is because of the Dogs.”

That gave Rus a pause. "what do you mean?”

Edge offered him that little half-smile of his, "The hallways are designed like a labyrinth and my brother has the Dogs lead people through the same ones several times. Even the artwork is designed to change the picture when someone walks past it, to make it seem larger and more confusing than it is.”

“seriously? what kind of low-rent james bond villain bullshit is that?" Rus blurted. He winced at his own words, shit, calling Red a villain wasn’t exactly what his brother would call good manners, but Edge's slight smile only widened.

"I prefer the term frugal.”

“hmmph,” Rus huffed, deciding not to argue the point. If Red wanted a subplot of being a cheapskate, that was his problem. “are you going to tell me what happened?” he asked, dabbing gingerly at a particularly darkened spot. The bone beneath was slightly pitted and he could only hiss in sympathy, imagining how much it must hurt.

That little smile faded. “I went to see Blaze in a neutral location, to negotiate.”

“looks like negotiations went south.”

Edge grunted in agreement, closing his sockets entirely as Rus finished cleaning his skull with a last gentle wipe. He dropped the washcloth into the dingy basin water before digging through the first aid kit for burn ointment. With the soot cleaned away, the burns matched Edge’s assessment of not too bad. They should heal fine, probably wouldn’t even scar if Edge kept it clean and well treated. Of course, there was another option.

Rus carefully set the ointment aside, reaching out instead with a cautious bare hand, “you were right, it isn’t too bad. i’m not as good as my brother, but if you let me heal you—”

The hand that caught his wrist moved so quickly Rus barely saw it. He yelped in surprise and automatically tried to pull away. Uselessly, that grip tightened painlessly as Edge said, firmly, “No.”

Even sitting, Edge was taller than him, especially when he wasn’t slumped back on the sofa. Taller than him, larger than him in every way and even sitting here in a ridiculously lavish bedroom in his ruined suit, Edge seemed larger than life, nearly a force of nature. And Rus looked up directly into his hurt face and asked boldly, “why not?”

The flick of his crimson tongue over his teeth nearly distracted Rus from his words. “Because having someone else use their magic on me outside of a fight is entirely too intimate for my tastes.”

Intimate. That was the problem? Considering that Rus was in possession of a shivery memory of Edge’s weight on top of him, pressing him into the cushioned plush of the rug with the heat of the fireplace pouring over them as Edge’s gloved hand skimmed against his bare hip…um…better to stop there. Anyway, considering all that, it seemed silly to him for Edge to suffer through days of discomfort when a little healing magic could ease it.

Exasperated, Rus pointed out, “you were willing to have sex with me but won’t let me heal you?” It was only after he said it that Rus belatedly remembered that actually, Edge hadn’t been willing to have sex with him, that was sort of where their awkwardness this morning came from and he looked away, a miserable blush rising in his cheekbones, like an echo of Edge’s burns.

To his shameful relief, Edge didn’t comment on that, only ran his thumb over the delicate, interlocked bones at the inside of Rus’s wrist. “It’s not the same. Magic involves souls, sex is only as intimate as you allow it to be. Anyone can take your body, flower shop.”

“yes, thank you for that reminder,” Rus muttered unhappily. He couldn’t hold back a shudder, remembering Blaze’s unbearably sweltering hands on him, forcing his touch on Rus as he whispered horrible things, cruelly teasing threats about Rus’s mouth and what he might do to it.

Edge’s voice jarred him from the unpleasant memory, cushioned in gentleness. “You’re safe here. This club is as well protected as it could possibly be. Aside from basic security precautions, we’ve been layering on every sort of protection spell possible over it since we got to the surface.”

That was a comfort to know, for now. But what about when he left, they left, him and Blue heading back to their shop and their lives without an ounce of protection surrounding them.

“i want to go home.” The words slipped out, small and miserable. And true, their home was small and a bit cramped, but it was home.

“I know,” Edge said, softly. He offered no promises about getting Rus there and he wondered wanly if he should be grateful for that honesty. Rus reached up and took hold of the large hand still holding his other wrist as his gaze searched Edge’s face, eye lights skimming from the untouched side to the one stark with darkened burns. With a tug, Edge brought their joined hands to his mouth, pressing a kiss against them and murmuring, “I’m working on it.”

There was something in his voice, something coldly dark beneath that tender touch and Rus swallowed hard, “you’re going to try to kill him, aren’t you.”

“Don’t ask questions that you don’t want answered.”

“aren’t you?” Rus persisted.

Edge let out a small frustrated sound, "It's the only way to end this. The only way you'll get your life back."

Rus shook his head, helplessly. That couldn’t be true, the only answer simply couldn’t be tainting Edge’s soul with XP, racking a LV onto Edge’s conscious in the name of their wellbeing, his and Blue’s and Rus knew without question that his brother would agree. “there has to be another way.”

“Are you willing to bet your life on that, flower shop?” Edge countered, “What about your brother’s?”

“there has to be! i can’t let you—” kill someone. Rus choked on the words, felt the ache of tears welling up again.

Again, that thumb rubbed a soothing little circle against Rus’s wrist. “Why do you care so much?”

“I…” Rus swallowed nervously. “it’s…it’s the right thing to do!”

“Of course,” Edge said wryly. “And you always do the right thing, don’t you.” He let go of Rus’s wrist and sank back into the cushions. “Go on, then.”

“huh?” Rus blinked, confused, ready to argue that he wasn’t about to leave with this debate still between them.

“Go on,” Edge repeated, “Heal me.” A sardonic slash of a smile tipped up the undamaged side of his mouth. “Since it’s the right thing to do.”

Oh. Rus had to kneel up to reach, leaning across Edge’s torso to settle his bare hand lightly against the side of his skull. It was a matter of moments to focus his magic, calling up the tingling warmth of healing and concentrating it on the burns. He certainly didn’t miss Edge’s relieved sigh; it must’ve hurt something awful and honestly, fussing about intimacy when the alternative was days of pain? He really couldn’t understand these people.

When Rus finally stopped, the bone beneath his hand was smooth and unblemished, at least as much as previously cracked bone could be. All signs of any burns were gone and Rus beamed at Edge, pleased.

“there,” he said triumphantly. “isn’t that bett—oh!”

The way Rus was leaning already put him off balance and the sudden, strong arm winding around his waist sent him nearly sprawling into Edge’s lap. A rough chuckle greeted his twisting and squirms until he was sitting across Edge’s femurs, looking up into his newly healed face with wide sockets.

“Yes,” Edge agreed softly, “This is much better.” He lightly bit the tip of one of his fingers, tugging off his glove and spitting it aside before reaching out to brush bare fingertips lightly over Rus’s mouth, cautious of the sharpened tips. Rus sat frozen beneath that touch as it slid lower, broad knuckles curling beneath his chin. “To tell the truth, I’m at a loss,” Edge murmured, low, like a confession. “Even if I deal with Blaze, you’re irrevocably linked to me now. Do I let it be? Or do I embrace it?”

That…that sounded…Rus wasn’t sure, his thoughts were in wild turmoil, caught up between Edge’s words and his embrace, “what about what i want?” he asked, weakly.

A soft chuckle gusted over him like a caress and Edge’s face was close to his own, as he said, “Pretty flower, you’ve wanted me since the day I walked into your shop.”

Rus wanted to deny it, but what was the point? It was true, he couldn’t possibly have been more obvious. He didn’t move as Edge leaned in, every possible protest twittering out of his mind even as Edge said, his deep voice raw with the barest of regrets, “Just remember, I tried to let you go.”

His mouth was achingly gentle, coaxingly sweet and Rus parted his teeth with a watery sigh as he met it with his own. Parted his teeth to timidly meet the slide of a clever tongue with his own. He was surrounded, Edge around him, beneath him, the arms that circled him held Rus close. Safe, he realized, he was safe, and Rus groaned shakily, clinging to Edge’s broad chest as those dizzying kisses deepened, teeth scraping with tantalizingly deliberate roughness as a low growl rumbled out from deep within Edge’s chest.

In the back of his mind, Rus was hyperaware of the enormous bed behind them, equal parts inviting and terrifying to consider Edge carrying him to it the same way as he had to the rug. His heavy weight again between Rus’s femurs, the hard press of his hips, and the senseless magic settling in Rus’s pelvis wanted that, wanted even more. He could feel his magic taking form, embarrassingly eager wetness dampening his undershorts. His mind might well be unsettled, but his body was making its wants known to them both and he couldn’t help wriggling again, already feeling the response of Edge’s body beneath his pelvis.

The door bursting opened shattered any burgeoning arousal and Rus jerked back, scrambling away even as Edge reluctantly let him go.

Red didn’t even seem to notice them yet, kicking the door shut as he groused, “dogs said you and blaze got into it, bro, you okay—” he stopped, staring blankly at his brother, eye lights gliding over where Edge’s joints were flushed and his jaw clenched. Then flicking to Rus who was curled up far on the other side of the sofa with a burning blush high on his cheekbones. Red chewing on the end of his cigar furiously, saying acidly around it, “might need to have a word with ‘em, since they didn’t see fit to mention this lil’ tête-à-tête.”

“Perhaps they thought they didn’t need to,” Edge said, coolly, “There is this charming social construct called knocking, you should consider trying it sometime.”

“uh huh, you know me, all up in the social constructs.” Red turned his sour look back on Rus, who only cringed harder, “sorry to interrupt, but i’m fresh outta social constructs right now. me and my bro need to talk, hit bricks.”

Edge crossed his arms over his chest, “No, he can stay.”

Yeah, because Rus was all about hanging around Red with his magic still uncomfortably roused between his legs. “i really don’t mind, i can go.”

Neither of them paid him any mind, both brother’s glaring. Finally, Red shrugged, “i was gonna talk business, but if you wanna scar your pretty lil’ flower, ain’t no skin off my bones.”

That seemed to give Edge a pause. He frowned, considering, then sighed out, “Go, Rus.”

Rus wobbled to his feet, all ready to head for the door. Only to have Edge catch his wrist, reeling him in. He didn’t try to take a kiss, thankfully, no attempt at a little pda in front of his brother. He only studied Rus’s face as if drinking in the sight of him, then tapped him lightly on the nasal aperture as he said, sternly, “Behave.”

That made him remember that morning, sneaking downstairs to chat with the ladies in the break room. Rus gave him a wobbly nod, and said, “i always do,” hoping his guilt didn’t show on his face as he slipped away and headed towards the door.

He skirted widely around Red and even that didn’t keep Rus from hearing him mutter, “if that’s you behavin’ flower shop, can’t wait to see ya bein’ bad.”

Outside the door one of the Dogs was waiting and Rus was about to ask them to show him back to his room, preferably without the extra mileage, when his eye lights caught on a long line of blistered redness along their muzzle.

“did you get burned, too,” Rus gasped, appalled, “that must hurt, do you want me to heal…it?” He trailed off awkwardly, expecting to be brushed off. But the Dog only whined and lowered their head, their dark brown eyes hopeful.

The little wound was even easier to heal than Edge’s and the Dog heaved a sigh of relief when Rus was finished, offering him a slightly slobbery grin, along with something else that had been sitting unnoticed by their feet. They held it out in offering and Rus took it, uncomprehending at first until the familiar jangle made him look down in disbelief.

It was his backpack, somewhat sooty and Spongebob was more than a little worse for wear, but it was his, with all his pins still attached.

“how did you—” Rus started, dumbly. There was only one answer and Rus glanced at the door speculatively, wondering if he’d gotten the backpack before, after, or during getting burnt to a crisp. Questions for later and he added it to his list as the Dog led him back to his room.

The moment he opened the door, a loud shout almost sent him tumbling head over heels back out.

“Where have you been!?”

Rus sighed to himself and shut the door, bracing himself to face his brother.

Where was a kidnapping when you really needed one.

tbc

#spicyhoney #papcest #keelywolfe #underfell #underwap #underfell papyrus #underswap papyrus #mafia AU

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years ago

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Survey #420

lol blaze it (i’m funny i swear)

In your opinion, which fast food place has the best fries? Without a doubt, Bojangle's. Good. Shit. Are there hurricanes where you live? Yeah, they're common here. What do you hate the most about yourself? I'd really rather not get into this right about now. What song are you listening to right now? "Beast of Gévaudan" by Powerwolf. What was your first concert? Alice Cooper. Also my only concert. What’s your favorite Johnny Depp movie? Alice In Wonderland. Who did you last say “I love you” to? My sister. Do you like pumpkin pie? Anything pumpkin-flavored is a hell no from me. Do you know anyone named Austin? Knew, rather. Do you know anyone who is having a baby? My friend recently announced she and her husband are having their second child in December. What was the last thing you cried about? Just PTSD. Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk? I like both, but I prefer chocolate. Do you think you are an argumentative person? Definitely not. How many deep dark secrets do you have? Two or so, idk. What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten? Some wings at Buffalo Wild Wings with one of the hottest sauces. Wanted to die. ... Yet I continued to get that one whenever I went for years lmao. Who last called you sexy? I don't know. Would you class yourself as a good role model? In some ways, but in a lot of other ways, no. Are you scared of the dark? No. Do you have a motto? No. Who did you last see on webcam? The doctor that overlooks my TMS progress. Do you need a haircut? I need a trim for sure. How would you react if your mother told you that she was pregnant again? Well, considering 1.) she's way past menopause and especially 2.) she's had a complete hysterectomy, y'know... that's kind of impossible. She also hasn't been with a guy in many years, so she would have to be joking. You log into Facebook and see the red ‘1’ notification next to the message icon. Who do you want it to be? -___- Would you rather exercise alone or with other people? ALONE. You will NOT see me exercise in front of other people. What is the most difficult or involved video game you’ve ever played? The most involved is DEFINITELY World of Warcraft, and I guess you could consider it the hardest too, given some of the much more difficult things I've done in it. It itself isn't a hard game whatsoever, but you can pursue some really hard achievements. Ever watch the show Supernatural? If you have, then what’s your favorite episode? I used to love it, but just stopped watching eventually. My fave episode... Man, it's been too long to remember many. Probably one of the funnier ones. I remember I specifically liked the bit where they were in your everyday comedy show, as well as the one where I THINK Dean kept trying to prevent Sam from dying. I just remember the "Eye of the Tiger" bit that is pure gold. Ever heard of flavored honey? If so, what’s you’re favorite flavor? Oh, no, but that sounds good. Do you remember what your favorite show was when you were little? Yeah, Pokemon. Do you put anything besides cheese on grilled cheese sandwiches? Besides butter, which I think is pretty standard, no. When it comes to books, what do you think is the “perfect” amount of pages? Uh, I dunno. It depends on the book. I don't really care about page numbers. Would you ever be interested in going scuba diving? Yeah. Out of all of your friends/relatives, who would you say has the best vocabulary? Girt, probably. Are any of your fingers or toes deformed? What about the nails? I don't think so? When is the last time you cried? I was sobbing earlier today, fun stuff. Would you ever date somebody that has been divorced more than once? Most likely not. ESPECIALLY at my age. What are some stereotypically nerdy things that you like? Oh god. WoW, M:tG, big glasses, anime (does that count? idk really), video games... a lot of stuff, really. Have you ever attended a wedding that ended where the bride and groom didn’t actually get married? What happened? Y I K E S, no. That would be SO uncomf. What scares you the most about becoming a mother (hypothetically, if you don’t want to have children)? Actually raising it properly, physically and emotionally. Would you ever want a job in fashion? What would you enjoy about that type of job? No. Would you ever be a surrogate mother? No. What do you think would be the best and worst parts about being a twin? It'd be cool to have someone you feel an almost supernatural connection towards, but I'd also feel like I wasn't as "original" as I would be if I was born alone. Do you feel that your childhood was more rough compared to others around you? I mean it wasn't awful at all, but sure, in some ways compared to at least someone. How would you react if you found out today that you were actually adopted? Well today I'm a wreck, so don't tell me. I want to know that I wasn't lied to for 25 years. Have either of your parents ever cheated on one another before, that you know of? How would you react if you found out today that one of them cheated? I'm not entirely clear on this, but I'm 90% sure Dad cheated on Mom with his now-wife. Dad also accused Mom of cheating, but I HIGHLY doubt that's true. Do you like cleaning and organizing? Not really. How would you react if you found out you were infertile? If you don’t plan on having kids to begin with, what is a long-term goal you’d be crushed to find out was impossible to achieve? Fuck having kids. I'd be a terrible mother. So to answer the other question, I'll be pretty, pretty sad if I can't get permission to spread Teddy's ashes at Yellowstone. Would you take your dream job if it were out of the country? Well, obviously not considering my dream job is a meerkat biologist, and I'm not moving to Africa. Have you ever been robbed? No. Is anyone close to you an alcoholic? Not anymore. Dad was, but he's recovered. Have you ever dumped anyone? Yes. What kind of tea do you drink? I hate tea. Do you know anyone in a gang? No, and I hope I never do. What’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for you? Risk his fucking sanity and health to try to hold my fucked up self up. What is your orientation? Gay? Straight? Metrosexual? Anything other? Bisexual. I've kinda been questioning pansexual of the late, though. I don't know. Have you ever done anything really dangerous or illegal with friends? Not to my memory. Name three feelings you’re feeling right now: Regret. Hopelessness. Loneliness. And the reasons for these feelings? Take a wild fuckin' guess. How do you feel about your life right now? It's an actual dumpster fire. Is it easy for you to like yourself? Why or why not? Fuck no. Because there's just not very much TO like about me. Even on my good days, I see flaw after flaw in myself. What subjects come naturally to you? English, some aspects of science. What subjects do not? Math, economics, politics, history... Do you read more fiction or more non-fiction books? Definitely fiction. When I read a book, I want an escape from the real world. How has today been for you? BOY HOWDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What did you do? Went to TMS therapy. Sat on the Internet. Cried. :^) Are there any candles lit in the room you’re in? No. Are there any lava lamps near you? No. I want one, though. Do you like cats or dogs better? Cats. Are any of your friends a pothead? Yes. What’s a goal you’re trying to accomplish soon? Start losing weight again. That'd be pretty goddamn grand. Are you a high maintenance person? Definitely not. The last time you yelled as loud as you could, what was the reason? I was having a nightmare. Have you ever been heartbroken? For sure. Who did that to you? First Dad, then Jason. Did you go through an ugly stage as a kid? Boy, did I. The last type of sandwich you made or ate: A pb&j. The last time you spent most of the day in bed: Literally every day. I do just about everything in bed. Pathetic, I know. The last friend or acquaintance you made: Ummmm idk. The last thing you took pictures of: A hydrangea bush. The last time you were scared: Now. The future is terrifying, my friend. The last thing you looked up online: The definition of a word to ensure I was using it correctly. The last thing you disagreed with: So I've been watching John Wolfe's old stream of him playing Alice: Madness Returns, and he went on a total soapbox about smoking being okay essentially because we're all gonna die eventually from something, and I really disagreed with it. Does your house have a separate laundry room? No, just like a closet. Do your parents still help you financially? I'm still entirely dependent on them. Does your car have a backup camera? No. Have either of your parents ever been in trouble with the law? Not to my knowledge. Have you ever had a pet that lived to be really old for its breed/species? REALLY old, no. Teddy was definitely up there, but beagles have lived longer. What was the last strong scent you smelled? Lysol. Have you ever told someone to their face that they were ugly? Christ, no. Is your bed against more than one of your walls? No. Have you ever been attracted to someone’s parent? Don't think so? Have you ever pole danced before? No. Have you ever broken into someone’s house? No. Have you ever seen a live bat? Yes. What is the most amount of money you’ve spent on a meal before? I dunno. Have you ever taken a woodshop class? No. How much time do you spend on Facebook, if you have one? Funny you ask, because as of today I decided to take a break from it for awhile. I've found it's nothing more than a breeding ground for envy and making me feel like a horribly incompetent adult. Has a teacher ever made you hate yourself/your work? I had one photography teacher in college that I was NOT a fan of. He was super, super hard on everyone, like to an unnecessary degree. We were students, not pros. Have you ever been on the barrier or front row at a concert? No. Are your parents supportive of you? Somehow.

#survey #surveys #random questions

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rennyforpresident · 4 years ago

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Renny’s BBSim: First Boots Week 1

Welcome to a new, exciting season of Biiiiiiiiig Brother!

This season, 16 former first boots will move back into the Big Brother house to try and redeem their previous legacy. These houseguests have been itching to get back in there since they were last voted out. Let’s bring them in!

@ashleaevans @bathroom-sand @kaysarswhore @kayysarridha @kelleekim @lahallucinations @maxdoesbb @misshoh @music-obsessednerd @nerdphobic @nomwastaken @pawn2393 @phylisisley @remember-caltoru @rennyforpresident @shaolinbynature

Welcome! Now that everyone is in the house, people are starting to get to know each other, and alliances are beginning to form

Once everyone is in the house, @misshoh and @nomwastaken pull each other into the bedroom and solidify a final 2. Both of them get good vibes from the other, and know they’ll have each other’s backs. From there, these two GET TO WORK

The next alliance to form is these five. @rennyforpresident pulls @remember-caltoru and @nomwastaken and @kaysarswhore into the bathroom and quickly says “this is it, this group here. We were the first to walk in, and we’ll be the last to walk out!” Of course, @misshoh walks in to see what her ally @nomwastaken is doing, and walks in on the creation of the alliance. By default, she gets pulled in and The Fearsome Five is born.

The next alliance to form is @phylisisley‘s idea. She knows @shaolinbynature has a good head on her shoulders, and trusts her unconditionally. The feeling is definitely mutual.

Noticing that @kaysarswhore is already a part of the Fearsome Five, @nomwastaken and @misshoh form an alliance within an alliance and get her on their side in a three-person deal. They call themselves the Royal Family.

@kaysarswhore in the DR: “In this house, there needs to be a queen! And I fit that role perfectly *wink*”

The final alliance is created by @nerdphobic! He pulls the five of them into the storage room and says “This is it! This is the energy I need!”

@misshoh in the DR: “I have had THREE different alliances fall in my lap tonight. There’s no way I’m gone first!”

@pawn2393 gives the new alliance the name of The Block Destroyers, not caring if no one gets the reference

Once all of that has calmed down, the houseguests head to the backyard for their first HOH competition!

Julie: “Hello houseguests! I hope you’ve all been getting to know each other! Tonight, for the second time in BB history, the first Head of Household will be decided by a vote! Whenever you’re ready, please write down the name of the person you want to win HOH.”

After voting, the winner is announced.

All with zero votes

@nerdphobic in the DR: “no one from the Block Destroyers had my back? Wowwwwww, good to know I can trust this alliance early on.”

@phylisisley in the DR: “I’m glad no one voted for me. I need to make sure the target isn’t on my back, and exposing my social game this early isn’t good at all.”

With one vote each

@rennyforpresident in the DR: “I kind of wanted to win, but I’m confused as to who was my one vote? Why me?”

@maxdoesbb: “I’ve talked to like three people tonight? Who voted for me?”

Which means the election comes down to three people

With 3 votes

@nomwastaken in the DR: “I’m not shocked I got so many. I mean, I’m in four different alliances. I voted for @misshoh of course, and I assume it was reciprocated, but who else voted for me? The options are endless! *laughter*”

The only two houseguests left are @music-obsessednerd and @kelleekim.

By a vote of 4 to 6, the new HOH is...

@music-obsessednerd! You are the first HOH of the season! You have secured your safety for the week and earned the right to nominate two of your fellow houseguests for eviction.

After a lot of gameplay, strategizing, and ass kissing, @music-obsessednerd has made her final decision

@music-obsessednerd: “I have decided to nominate you @kayysarridha and you @maxdoesbb. This season is really hard in particular, because we’ve all played before, but no one knows how we play. I nominated the two of you because I think you’re the biggest wildcards. I don’t know much about you, but I hope this week you prove that you deserve to stay and fight for the veto! Good luck to you both.”

@kayysarridha in the DR: “Nominated week 1 yet again. Man, why do I keep coming back if I keep getting put on the block! What is it like to be safe? What does that feel like?”

@maxdoesbb in the DR: “I’m not going to panic, because panicking is what got me out last time. I’m gonna play the game the way I know how, and I’m gonna fight!”

On a season of first boots, NO ONE wants to be the first to go. The veto is critical right off the bat.

@rennyforpresident @phylisisley and @pawn2393 are drawn to participate. @kayysarridha uses her houseguests choice to choose @phylisisley; does that mean they’re aligned?

@phylisisley in the DR: “I mean, I’m not opposed to using the veto if I win. What’s the harm in one more ally?”

After 45 minutes, time is UP!

@rennyforpresident spelled “CALTORU”. That is not a word!

@remember-caltoru from the bench: “That’s my gig! Get your own shtick you bitch!”

@rennyforpresident laughs it off and throws some mayo at @remember-caltoru playfully

@maxdoesbb spelled “UNDESTAD”. That is not a word.

@maxdoesbb in the DR: “I was trying to spell UNDERSTAND, but I couldn’t find the letters! Dammit!”

@phylisisley spelled “HELLO”. That is a correctly spelled 5 letter word! You are currently in the lead! Which means

@kayysarridha spelled “COLLABORATION”. That is a correctly spelled 13 letter word! You are currently in the lead! Which means

@music-obsessednerd spelled “UNDERWEAR”. That is a correctly spelled 9 letter word. Unfortunately, it’s not enough to take the lead. Which means

It all comes down to @pawn2393. You spelled...

CARBONATED. That is a correctly spelled 10 letter word. But it’s not enough!

@kayysarridha! You have won the first Veto of the season!

Of course, @kayysarridha will use the veto on herself, but who will go up in her place?

At the veto ceremony

@kayysarridha: “Because I have vetoed one of your nominations, @music-obsessednerd, you must now name a replacement nominee.”

The new nominee is...

@music-obsessednerd: “I’ve seen you scurry around this house trying to make deals with everyone except me. It looks like we have a rat in the house, and until you learn to behave, rats go on the block. Sorry, but that’s the way it has to be. I am nominating @kaysarswhore“

@kaysarswhore in the DR: “Yeah, I have deals with people, but I’m playing Big Brother. Clearly some of us aren’t. What a fucking coward.”

Right after the veto ceremony, @kaysarswhore makes a disparaging remark about @music-obsessednerd.

@kaysarswhore under her breath: “What a fucking joke. This bitch doesn’t know how to play this game at ALL”

@shaolinbynature overhears, and jumps in to defend his friend. Naturally, chaos ensues.

@shaolinbynature: “You’re mad because you got caught! You’re mad because you think you’re so great that no one in Big Brother can compare! Grow up!”

The two continue to fight, while @music-obsessednerd watches from upstairs, completely unbothered.

@music-obsessednerd in the DR: “It was nice to be defended, but I really didn’t care. I was just annoyed that I couldn’t go downstairs and get a snack to eat while I watched them”

Well later on, @music-obsessednerd did have her snack, and she made some for the rest of the house too.

Akin to the legendaric ways of Jun Song, @music-obsessednerd made pizza rolls for everyone in the house, and even made some vegan ones for the people who prefer things natural.

At the meal, @misshoh makes a scene. She starts throwing her pizza rolls at other people, and by the end of the hour, everyone is covered in pizza sauce.

@nomwastaken pulls her aside afterwards and nearly rips her head off. “What the fuck is wrong with you?? You need to clean up this mess, my game isn’t sinking because you wanted to play with your goddamn food”

Shooken by her ally, @misshoh apologizes to the whole house at once, and gets let off the hook for her antics.

In the days leading up to eviction, @pawn2393 feels a change in the wind. He knows he’s not top dog, but he’s starting to think he might be on the bottom of the totem pole. So, naturally, he gets to work.

By Thursday, he has three more final2 deals and 5 more promises to keep him safe next week. Will the intense gameplay come back to bite him in the ass?

Now that it’s Thursday, the moment you’ve all been dreading has come. Who will walk out of the house first for the SECOND time?

Arisa: “Hello everyone! The powers that may be (the person hosting this goddamn sim) have decided to bring me on to host this season! Because Julie is, um, going through some stuff right now! Yeah, going through it!

Anyways, it’s been an exciting first week! @music-obsessednerd, how does it feel being the FIRST HOH of the season?”

@music-obsessednerd: “Amazing! I knew under no circumstances was I going out first, so I’m glad everyone trusted me enough to vote me into power! Hope I didn’t screw it up for anyone!”

@kaysarswhore and @maxdoesbb roll their eyes

Arisa: “ @ashleaevans, how is life in the BB house? I heard you were a have-not this week!”

@ashleaevans: “It was a DISASTER! Slop SUCKS! I just wanted some goddamn pizza rolls and @misshoh took them for granted! I cannot wait to become HOH and eat some real food.”

Arisa: “I hear it every season! Now, unfortunately, one of you will be leaving the BB house tonight. But first, the two nominees have one last chance to sway your vote.”

@kaysarswhore: “I came here to play BB. I have loved this game from the start, and I wanted to come in here, guns blazing, ready to fight. If you want to punish me for that, go ahead! But you’ll be losing out on a valuable ally and someone who’s always willing to shake up this house. I don’t think I can say the same thing for @maxdoesbb. Regardless, play hard, and show this game the respect it deserves!”

@maxdoesbb: “Hi guys! Please don’t vote me out first again! I truly don’t know if I can handle that. Last time I was in the house for less than a day, and I really just want to prove to you all that I can play BB! Give me that chance, and I hope we have a great summer together!”

Arisa: “Alright, it’s time. Let’s get to the vote.”

The vote starts off with 1 vote for @kaysarswhore and 2 for @maxdoesbb. People just don’t have a good read on him, and don’t think they can trust him.

After that, one more vote is cast to evict each of our nominees. @phylisisley casts a surprise vote to evict @kaysarswhore, saying “she thinks she’s the queen of this house? Well there can only be ONE, and that’s me.”

What might look like a standard backdoor might not be; @music-obsessednerd thinks she has the votes in the bag to take out the person she deemed a rat, but what she doesn’t know, is that the house has a blindside in the works. The rest of the votes are unanimous

Arisa: “The votes are in. Remember that when I reveal the name of the evicted houseguest, they will have one minute to gather their belongings, say their goodbyes, and exit the Big Brother house.”

@music-obsessednerd and @ashleaevans sit in stunned silence. @phylisisley knew the plan, but threw a hinky vote anyway, and manages to play it cool when the results are read.

Arisa: “ @maxdoesbb come on out!”

Arisa: “We are SO disappointed to see you walk out of the house first. How are you feeling?”

@maxdoesbb: “Honestly? I think BB just isn’t in my cards! *audience laughter* It was a tough week and a rough start, and I just wasn’t able to bond with anyone. People were telling me I was safe and not the target, but I guess the lying started early!”

Arisa: “What about @kaysarswhore? I mean, she got pretty publicly called out? Why do you think they kept her?”

@maxdoesbb: “People probably think the only deal she has is with them! Once they start connecting the dots, her ship is sunk. That kind of game isn’t sustainable, so it’ll be fun to get to see her downfall later on.”

Arisa: “Who are you rooting for? Did you make any friends in there?”

@maxdoesbb: “Absolutely! I hope @ashleaevans takes it. At the very least, I wouldn’t be mad if @music-obsessednerd wins either. I know she put me up, but I only want to lose to the winner! *audience laughter*”

Arisa: “We are so sorry to see you go, but it was lovely having you!

Now that the biggest bullet is bitten, who will go next? Find out next time. From outside the Big Brother house, I’m Arisa Cox, and remember, someone is aaaaaaalways watching!”

I CANNOT BELIEVE JODI WAS THE FIRST OUT I’M SO SORRY

I am also VERY ready to see what y’all do, some of this gameplay is MESSY already

#bb22 #bbsim #bbsim first boots

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ace-in-a-shopping-cart · 4 years ago

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Constants

Summary: Song fic based off the fansong Constants by @spectralheartt. I hope I did it justice. The idea came to me at midnight so I have no idea how good this is but I tried to match the vocabulary/language of the song.

Word Count: 1,542

Taglist: (Send an ask to be added or removed!) @starlocked01 @spoopy-turtle @lizluvscupcakes @more-fandon-than-friends

Virgil roamed the mindscape.

Checking in at the palace, Roman was practicing in the courtyard. He was always so sure of himself, never faltering in his moves.

Logan was up in his tower, pouring over scrolls. He was clearly preparing for the next video. His movements were precise as always, never a moment where he doubted his worth or himself.

Patton was by the fireplace inside. He was reclining in the big armchair that was kept there just for him. The dual swords Roman had made for him sat against the nearby wall, no need for them as he preferred to use love and words first before moving to violence. He smiled as Roman walked in, both comfortable in their home.

Virgil’s hand pressed against the glass, always watching from the outside, forever patrolling the perimeter and keeping them safe in their little world. It was a constant. They stayed in there, he stayed out there. The hand slid down and away, tucking itself into his hoodie pocket as he went back to his patrol, wondering when the next attack was going to come.

It didn’t for a while, not a few days, nor weeks. It came eventually. Remus sent a nightmare so large Virgil wasn’t sure he would be able to stop it. He did, but at the cost of all his energy and severe wounds. As he was limping away, Roman appeared with the other two in tow behind him.

“What are you doing here, vile cur?” Roman called, dramatic as ever.

Virgil sighed, knowing he had to keep up the pretenses of having their worst intentions in mind. After all, this was their story. He was just living in the world, trying to get by in the background. Assuming the most intimidating stance he could, he drew himself up into his full height. “What do you think I’m doing, Prince?” He spit the title like it was the worst of poisons.

Roman snarled, charging forward, his katana at the ready.

Virgil put up a good fight but didn’t stand a chance in the state he was in. So, he did the only logical thing: he fled. Turning around, he ran as fast as he could. As he was fight or flight, he was quite fast. He heard them cheer as he ran, their joyful cry being taken by the wind and batted about as if a ball of yarn between the paws of a kitten. If he’d been paying more attention, he would have noticed one voice wasn’t joined with the others, a thread missing from the ball.

When he got back to his lair, he dressed his wounds. Propping himself up gently against the stone wall of the cave he called home, he finally allowed himself to relax. His job for the day was done, the nightmares were defeated for the day, and the illusion of safety was left intact for the Core Three. At the end of the day, that was all that mattered. The constant stayed as it was, a steady and reliable pattern.

At least, until he woke up. He woke to warmth, something he wasn’t used to in a drafty cave. Opening his eyes, he saw a bright orange glow. Squinting, he tried to roll over. A clattering sounded before a pair of hands was pressing onto his chest that he just now noticed was bandaged. “Woah, there. Those wounds are just starting to close there, kiddo.”

Virgil would have jolted up if he weren’t being pressed back down onto his back. He was tired, his wounds still ached but not as much as they did before. He woke up the rest of the way in an instant when he realized that Patton was in his cave. His breathing quickened as he slid out from underneath Patton and stood to face the fighter, his fists coming up. Virgil desperately wished for his scythe that was across the room where he’d dropped it when he stumbled in.

Speaking of stumbled, he wasn’t exactly steady on his legs. This was probably due to the massive bruise he could feel forming on his lower calf. He could feel himself leaning but just as he was falling to one knee, Patton’s hands reached out. This time, they were not in violence, but in peace. They caught Virgil as he fell, gently depositing him back down on the bedroll Virgil hadn’t possessed.

“What is this?” Virgil asked, his voice sharp and defensive.

Patton’s face was soft, an almost loving look directed at him. “I just want to help, kiddo.”

Virgil shook his head, arms coming back to prop him up. “No. You don’t help me. That’s not how the story goes. You guys are the heroes, I’m just the villainous punching bag. I’m used to those roles, I’m fine with those rolls. You can’t come in here and change it up now!” Virgil wasn’t sure what he was so scared of. Was it Roman’s continued threat to run him through, was it Logan’s intimidatingly sharp wit, was it Patton’s kindness being temporary? He never knew when the rug was going to be pulled out from under him, so he just never stood on the rug to begin with.

Patton sighed in a way that told Virgil he was reaching the limit of his patience. Good, maybe he would leave then and Virgil could get back to the normal, to the routine, to the constant. “As I said before, I’m just here to help. No tricks, no blades, no companions. I’m here alone to help. Now, will you allow me to dress the wound?” He nodded his head to the leg to indicate the wound mentioned.

Virgil didn’t respond but Patton still beamed as he sank to his knees, rolling Virgil’s pant leg up in order to get a good look at the bruise. He poked and prodded, Virgil ignored that too. He scanned the cave, taking in the fire roaring in the center, the furs and blankets that now littered the floor around them. He normally slept so lightly, his wounds must have been worse than he thought if Patton were able to do all this without waking him.

Having enough of the feeling of hands on him, he took a step. His hand was rested firmly on the wall as he used the solid stone for a crutch. Ignoring Patton’s protests, he made his way over to his stash of food, pulling out a strip of jerky and biting off the end. He grabbed a stick that was propped up nearby for this express purpose and started walking, only for his exit to be blocked by Patton. Virgil sighed. “Move. I’ve got a job to do.”

Patton frowned, looking sad. “You think I don’t know you.”

Virgil startled. “What?”

“You think we’ve forgotten all about you, Anxiety.”

A warmth bloomed in his chest that he quickly squashed, fearing the result of getting too attached again. “So what?”

“What happened? Where is the side we knew in our youth? Where is the kid?” Patton’s expression was genuinely painful to look at, so Virgil turned away.

“Youth may seem sweeter,” memories like honey he refused to eat but stared at with longing, “But if I could return to it, I’d be forced to forfeit everything I’ve learned.” His expression grew fierce, determined. “I won’t go back. I have a job to do, and you’re stopping me from doing it.”

He grabbed his scythe, eyes blazing with confidence and something more. “Move, Patton.”

Patton sighed but moved aside. “Just know that we are there for you. You don’t have to fight this alone.”

Hope grew, the warmth in his chest overbearing. Finally, he paused with one foot out the cave, standing right next to Patton. “Come on.” He nodded his head at the forest stretched before them that was easy to get lost in. “I’ll walk you home.”

Patton looked at him, almost the physical representation of the hope he could feel. He didn’t want it to die. “Really?”

“It’s on my way.”

Virgil walked in silence while Patton wouldn’t stop talking. There were times when Virgil had to shush him as a panther walked across the path, lean muscles and jaws that could crush Patton. As he observed the other side, the hope grew, as did the realization of a crazy notion. When his thoughts grew too loud, he spoke. “Patton, do you think every story needs a bad guy?”

Patton looked at him, seriousness in every muscle. “No, Anxiety. Bad guys are not needed to make the story go on. Some stories lose the bad guy along the way, but some of them don’t need a bad guy.”

Virgil nodded, taking a deep breath as they exited the forest, the palace rising in the distance. “Okay.”

Virgil patrolled the halls. Roman was in the courtyard and Virgil smiled as he waved to him, pausing in the training to wave back.

Logan was in the tower and thanked Virgil when he gave him a scroll he’d dropped.

Patton was sitting by the fire, enjoying a cookie as his swords hung on the wall. He smiled, offering a cookie to Virgil, who accepted it.

Maybe this could be their new constant.

#virgil sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #songfic #fanfic #ace writes

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angelguk · 5 years ago

Text

→ give and take - jeongguk scenario

Jeon Jeongguk - BTS

word count: 3.5k

genre: established relationship + smut + pwp

warnings: light bdsm / creampie / sensory deprivation (blind folds) / hands being tied / everyone is a switch here / sub!jeongguk + dom!jeongguk / handjob / blowjob / there’s begging / aka the one where jeongguk and oc play around with dom and sub dynamics

soundtrack: every kind of way, h.e.r.

@gukkheaven was once again a sweetheart and beta read this for me! thank you :)

He can’t see you, but he can feel you. Everywhere.

The ghost of your breath against his thigh has him twitching, hands blindly grasping for the bedpost behind him. He would be gripping the sheets beneath him but you’d taken one of your spare fabric cuts and bond his wrists together above his head. He would normally be complaining, particularly because he didn’t share your affinity for bondage, but when your warm wet tongue comes in contact with his skin, his tongue feels numb in his mouth. The guttural groan that falls from his parted lips isn’t because he’s running out of words to describe the way your tongue feels around him; which is strange because his vocabulary is quite apt when it comes to describing your blow job skills, in his humble opinion. He’s groaning because he can’t form words, not when your tongue is licking a thick strip along his dick.

It’s heady almost, the way his head spins when you wrap your lips around his tip and sink down with ease that should be alarming but isn’t. You’d figured out how to take down most of his thick length a while ago but for his benefit you’d gag around it, inflate his ego a little bit. You don’t need to. Jeongguk knows he’s big. Heck, half the campus knows he’s big. But hearing you choke around his length spurs a pit of desire deep inside guts that he can’t express with words. But he does with actions, his hips wildly canting up from the mussed bed sheets because he wants to be deeper, wants to hear you choke around his length if he can’t see you.

When you do groan, pulling away so your jaw can take a brief break, Jeongguk immediately regrets agreeing to the hand restricts. The urge to push your head back down surfaces with a rush of fervour. He’s yanking at the fabric, cursing mentally when they don’t give way. You and your stupid Girl Scout knots.

The sight brings a grin to your face as you rise from your bent position. His looks heavenly, face scrunched up and dark sweaty hair plastering to his forehead. It’s nearly covering the blindfold around his eyes. You naturally lean forward, trailing your fingertips against the hard muscles of his torso. His breath hitches at the touch and your smile broadens. You momentarily pause, taking in the way his rose lips are partially parted, quick breaths slipping from his throat in anticipation of your actions. When his tongue darts out across his bottom lip your hand moves to brush away the wisps of his mane.

“Are you going to stare all day or kiss me?” His voice is rough, a slight tremor colouring the tone of it because your hand is dipping downwards once again.

“Well aren’t you demanding,” You reply, grinning brightly. Your lips meet his the moment your hand wraps around his length.

He moans unabashedly, the sound vibrating down your own throat. You taste like him and all it does is make him harder, member throbbing painfully as your wrist twists around it expertly. You weren’t confident in giving hand jobs at the start of your relationship but Jeongguk had a slight kink for being teased relentlessly which led to exponential increase in the hand jobs you’d given over the last eleven months and consequently your confidence in giving said hand jobs.

But this situation felt different than the quick handjobs you’d given him before. Mainly because when Jeongguk had stumbled into your room an hour ago looking for a moment of stress relief from the piles of work he had, you hadn’t expected this to be the outcome. He’s tied to your bed, something you never expected to witness, a victim to your every whim. You’d been working on a project for your textile classes and naturally there was a lot of stray fabric in the room, somehow via a series of events that are blurry to you, they’d found themselves wrapped around his wrists and his eyes. The scene before you makes your panties stick to your core.

You’re not fully sure whether he’s enjoying it, but his face is twisted in a silent groan, hips bucking up into your hands and his mouth pliant below you, a wave of need coursing through him. You can tell he’s close.

When you tug at his lower lip Jeongguk shudders, cum leaking from his tip only to be swept up with the motions of your hand. It’s hard and fast and every time your hand comes down you tighten your grip around the tip and squeeze it. His brain genuinely feels like it’s going to explode when you do that. He still can’t communicate through words what you’re doing to him so he does it through the hard kisses you share. Your teeth bump into each other, a clumsy collusion in the desperate wet manner that your lips met and Jeongguk can’t help but now curse the blindfold obscuring his vision. Then he angles his head, hoping it’ll slow both the impending orgasm building in his gut and the heated kisses you’re sharing. It slows down one thing only, because when your lips slot together once more, it’s gentler. There’s an unspoken feeling of care with each kiss and Jeongguk’s mouth falls open when you take a pause from playing with his dick to squeeze at his balls. Your tongue slips in and he can’t help but groan once more, lost in the sensation when your fingertips find their way to his length again.

The whole thing has him partially zoning out, brain focusing solely on the pulses of pleasure ebbing from his gut across every nerve in his body. The loss of vision makes the whole thing seem more intense than it should be. Every brush of your skin on him has his brain short wiring. He wants to feel you, sink his hands into your soft skin and fuck you ruthlessly but you’ve got him pinned down and helpless. It should agitate him. Jeongguk’s never been the partner to lie down and take it. He preferred being in control, wanted to be above instead of below, but something about you made him want to give you everything you desired. If you wanted him tied up and merciless to your desires, he’d do it. If you wanted him to beg for it, he would. If you wanted to play with him for hours and make him cum until his brain turned to mush and he’s dick was chaffed, he’d (hesitantly) do it.

You just hadn’t figured that out yet.

When you’d discovered this subservient side of Jeongguk, you were immediately intrigued. Jeongguk was known on campus for being the domineering star baseball player who tempted girls and boys alike with his charming smile, standoffish front and supposedly big dick. You’d suspected his intentions when he’d first approached you but Jeongguk had quickly dismissed your intentional misconceptions of him. Beneath the carefully constructed visage he’d created you’d found a clumsy kind hearted boy, who sometimes loved too hard, ate too much junk and was surprisingly attentive.

You’ve still got your hand wrapped around his cock but you’re watching now, noticing the rapid rise and fall of his chest as he nears his high. His lips are wet and bruised, curses falling from his tongue in sharp pants. Every time you twist around his tip, his stomach caves in. You know he’s trying to prolong the rise, so that when it falls it hits him harder. You urge him on, hand picking up speed as you drop downward and drag your tongue around the red head of his cock.

“Fuck!” His hips are uncontrollable now, the tip of his cock hitting the velvet walls of your warm mouth with every harsh thrust upwards. Your hands find themselves around the parts of him you can’t swallow, moving in time with the bopping of your head. You can feel him twitching against the swirls of your tongue, the orgasm he was holding on the verge of breaking lose. You pull your mouth away when he’s about to let it go, a sudden thought popping in your head.

As much as you and your boyfriend danced around the whole dominant, submissive roles you had in the bedroom – you’d never really made him beg.

“What?! Fuck – I was close. Why did you stop?” He’s whining, cock twitching in need against the span of his stomach.

“Felt like it.”

“You – what. You felt like it? What? So you’re leaving me like this?” He’s irritated, evident by the way his dark eyebrows were furrowed together.

You hum in affirmation, ignoring the blazing heat between your thighs. Even if you’re trying to come off as nonchalant you really just was to sit on his dick. His hair is mussed up, pink lips in a confused pout and every muscle in his body is taut. He looks delectable like this, and you’re tempted to just sit on him now but the need to hear Jeongguk beg has you staying put.

“Are you being serious?” There’s a quiet plea in his words. You nod, realizing a second later he can’t see you.

“Very,” You try again, watching with amusement when the pout he’s sporting deepens.

“Like, are you being serious serious? Or are you just joking?” Jeongguk’s asking once more in hopes that you’ll change your answer because his dick is still very hard and if he doesn’t cum soon he’ll get blue balls and that would suck literal balls.

“Not joking. Let me untie you.”

“No – wait!” Suddenly having the restraints on is imperative to him. “Is there something I can do to change your mind? Tell me please? I’ll do anything.”

“Anything?” He can hear the smile in your voice.

“Yes, anything. Say it now please. I’m going to die if I don’t cum.”

“Beg for me.”

Begging? That’s what you wanted? You could have asked him minutes ago. Jeongguk would have started begging without a second thought. Just like he does now.

“Fuck me, please,” He puts the whine on for emphasis but he’s not exaggerating it because he needs you to make him cum. He needs you to do something. Use your hand, your mouth, your cunt – anything. Because his balls are heavy and tight and the coil in his gut is starting to make him feel breathless. He’s all for edging but having you so close and not being able to touch or see you makes him feel desperate enough already, you don’t need to withhold his orgasm from him too. “Please I need you. Look at what you’re doing to me. Please – just – anything, do anything. Just touch me.”

You compile without thinking, moving swiftly to pull off the soaked panties clinging to your cunt. You expected him to scoff at the idea of begging, not give you what you want without hesitating. The Jeongguk you knew didn’t match up with the panting begging man tied to your bed. But for some reason, the fact that you hold this much power over the man that everyone desires makes your core throb with want. Maybe you should reward Jeongguk for behaving so well anyway. He’s been remarkably compliant with all your desires. So you clamber on top of his bare thighs, shifting to line him up with your dripping hole.

The first brush of his tip against your slick folds has him hissing. His eyebrows are raised and you know he didn’t expect that.

“W-what are you doing?” His voice trembles.

“You’ve been good. Good boys get rewarded.” You push the tip further, sighing at the small stretch you feel. And then as Jeongguk opens his mouth to speak, probably a snarky retort, you sink down on him hard.

“Oh – fuck!”

There’s a slight burn where you meet, but you’re not focused on that. Not when Jeongguk looks like his falling apart beneath you. His breath is haggarded and he’s biting down on his lip. His stomach is caved in, almost as if he’s forcing the orgasm he was begging you to make a reality away. You shift, his throbbing cock pressing further into your wetness and Jeongguk swears hard.

“Babe – oh fuck – stop, shit stop moving.” He shudders with every minute movement you make, stomach twitching beneath your palm. The stretch has your own eyes fluttering and you can help by roll into it, moaning every time he sinks a little deeper. You’d gotten used to Jeongguk’s length but for some reason every time you ride him, he always felt as if he was reaching parts of your cunt that you didn’t know were there. You can feel him tensing beneath you touch and you know this is just as intense for him as it is for you.

“Could you – could you take off the blind fold,” Jeongguk pleas.

“Why should I?”

“Fuck, babe. I want to see you. Want to see you bouncing on my cock. Want – oh shit!”

You’d pulled yourself off him gently and sunk back down again hard. Your walls cling to him though, wet and warm, sucking him right back in. He chokes when you do that again, a heavenly sound that has your hips picking up the pace. There’s the lewd squelch filling the thick air with each bounce of your body. You’d know you were wet but even the slick coating both your thighs has you surprised. Jeongguk in particular.

“Want to,” He’s struggling to even string together a sentence, the breath knocked out of him with every fall of your hips against his. “Fuck, holy shit! You’re so wet!”

“Is that what you wanted to say?” Your words sound slurred even to you. You’re losing yourself slowly, getting drunk on the way Jeongguk feels inside you.

“No – I – fuck. I want to see your pretty pussy milk me baby. I want to see you full of my cum. Take the blind fold off. I want to see you when you’re fucking me.”

You pause, aware of the way his cock jolts inside you when you do, and lean forward. Your hands make quick work of the blind fold knots, tugging at them with ease. When you pull the fabric away, your stomach lurches at the fire you find in his eyes.

His gaze rakes over you, eyes pausing at your lips and chest before they halt where the two of you meet. He watches as you lean back, sinking right back onto him when you move, thighs shimmering with slick. You rest your hands against the bedsheets, using the bed to help push yourself upwards, dragging his cock out of you as you rise before falling back down. His eyes are wide in awe and desire, watching how his cock disappears into your body. It feels beyond good, despite the strain building in your thighs and you close your eyes involuntarily, mind swimming in pleasure as your own high rises steadily.

Somewhere in the background you pick up the gentle patter of rain on the rooftop, the sound oddly in time with your own rhythm. Your movements don’t stop despite the way your thoughts stray, eyes fluttering open when you feel Jeongguk grinding back into your bounces. He’s staring at you as if you’re the sun keeping his universe in orbit. The sight has your walls tightening around him, coaxing another curse from his bruised wet lips. When you make a move to touch your own clit, feeling both your highs impending, Jeongguk thrusts upward. Hard.

You’re left disoriented, chest bouncing harder now because Jeongguk is taking control even when he’s below you. Your hips stutter as you try to find the rhythm you’d established but Jeongguk isn’t having it, hips snapping against your own with urgency.

“Untie me.” It’s a command not a request and you feel the need to comply, suddenly aware that Jeongguk is done being submissive for the night. The look in his eyes confirms that so you shut down the side of you that wants to pin him down once more and instead move to skilfully untangle the knots that kept his arms immobile. When they come loose, Jeongguk’s hands move so fast they’re a blur in your hazy gaze. They come down on your hips, grip taut to keep you place as he thrusts upwards, fucking into you so hard that you almost bit your tongue.

“Jeongguk!” You squeak, clenching down helplessly around him. His fingertips are digging in your skin and you know you’ll find marks tomorrow but that’s not bothering you at all. Not when Jeongguk is fucking you like this.

If you thought you were being vocal before, that doesn’t hold a candle to the little sounds Jeongguk has falling from your lips. Your whining and groaning at the same time, letting out a helpless moan when Jeongguk shifts himself upright so that he latches his mouth on your neck. The scrap of his teeth and drag of his tongue against your skin has you seeing stars and your nerves feel electric, pleasure washing over you ruthlessly. You move to snake a hand to your clit, but Jeongguk halts you again.

Your back hits the mattress hard but Jeongguk doesn’t give you time to recover. He’s spreading your legs apart, making space for himself as he caves you in. There’s a sheen of sweat covering both your bodies and the air feels thick with need. Jeongguk’s staring at you in a way that makes your stomach twist with want. Your thighs feel sticky but you forget about it the moment the head of his cock presses against your wet hole. He toys with your entrance, keeping one hand on your twitching hips and another guiding his cock further into you. There’s barely any resistance, both you sighing at the way you suck him in.

Jeongguk’s palms find themselves gripping the back of your thighs, gently lifting your hips upward. His long hair is brushing against your forehead and your hands instinctively rise, sweeping the strands back and softly scraping your nails against his scalp. He groans against your skin, hips canting into your own and the sound of your slick filling the air.

His hips pick up speed and Jeongguk’s pounding you into the mattress within moments. You can’t do anything but take it, his grip on your hips controlling the pace. And he’s not being kind – it’s a punishing pace, retribution for how you acted earlier. When his hand finally slips between your panting bodies to circle your clit, you jolt. The sparks return viciously, the blinding heat in your core setting you on fire instantly. The pads of his slick coated fingers toy with you, trailing patterns against the bud and coupled with the way he’s fucking you, your vision turns white. You’re not even fully aware that you’re apart until Jeongguk’s hips slam forward, hitting a part of you that has your bones melting.

There’s fireworks behind your closed eyelids and your cunt snug around him. It feels like you’re shattering into pieces and being moulded back together all at once, the sparks in your core travelling along your nerves. You barely regain your breath when Jeongguk’s hips begin to falter, slamming into you with a desperation you feel too. You’re clinging onto him, watching through lidded eyes as his mouth drops slightly, a haggard pant floating from his mouth as his hips jut against you, warm cum filling you up.

“Oh,” His mouth is pressed against your sweaty skin again, chest shuddering above you own.

“Oh,” You repeat, gently shoving his burly body off you. You’re still feeling warm, skin buzzing. “What’s that meant to mean?”

He’s moving to wrap you in his arms, a soft grin on his face. “Just oh.”

“Oh as in you liked what just happened or oh as in you never want to do that again?” Even if you feel hazy, your thighs are still gross and the shower seems like a more welcoming prospect than the nap Jeongguk was offering.

“Oh as in you’re talking too much. I came really hard and I want to sleep now.” His eyes are falling closed as he nuzzles into you.

“But did you like it?”

He doesn’t open his eyes.

“Jeongguk!”

“The blind fold I can get behind but don’t tie my hands again please. It sucked when I wanted to touch you but couldn’t.”

“That’s part of the appeal.”

“I don’t care, I didn’t like it.”

“Fair enough. I’ll let you blind fold me next time if you want.” He grunts at that but doesn’t move away from you. “Let me go though, I feel gross.”

He reluctantly detaches himself, searching for the sheets you’d messed up with a slight frown marring his features. You watched, amused, as he huddled himself beneath the covers, the soft image reminding you of the gentle demeanour Jeongguk possessed. The reminder tugged at your heart and you found yourself pattering back towards the bed, sinking into the sheets and pressing your lips softly against his forehead. He’s smiling in his sleep when you lean back.

“You look cute when you beg,” Your comment has him wide awake, a murderous look in his eyes.

“Go shower, you stink.”

#jungkook smut #btssmutclub #btswritingcafe #btswriterscollective #smutcentralnet #bangtanarmynet #bts smut #bts x reader #jungkook x reader #i might change the title lmao im not feeling it

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