#it took me one year to do it lol
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Lucien request please
Reader is mated to az but knows he likes Elaine so backs off (same for luc w elain) and they start to vent to each other but eventually becoming good friends and realise that it doesn’t matter what ‘fate’ says and they can choose to love each other
(This isn’t pro or anti eleriel or elucien (and I’d prefer if az/Elaine aren’t painted to be bad people) I just really like the idea of fate/free will…. and have a crush of Lucien)
Thanks 😊
MY LOVE THANK YOU FOR THIS IDEA I FINALLY WROTE IT ILL BE POSTING IT TONIGHTTTT <3333
ill link it here hehe <3
#it took me one year to do it lol#my bad pookie 😭#lucien x reader#anons <3#asks <3#requests <3#my bbgs <3
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soon it'll be dawn again
transcript under the cut ⏬
page 01
Fig: no way? - you're still up?
Riz: Wh– yes?
Riz: Why'd I not be.
page 02
Fig: I me~~ean - that took.
Fig: whole day.
Riz: Yeah?
Fig: 'm beat.
Riz: you should sleep.
page 03
Fig: nah. my guy's still up
Fig: I wanna hang out.
page 04
Riz: That's really nice.
Fig: Hah! - Nobody ever expects an Archdevil rockstar to be nice.
Riz: … yeah. - 's just budget work tho. (the stuff I'm working on) - I've heard it's boring.
page 05
Fig: yeah, but you do it…
Riz: It keeps things going, right? - Nothing happens if nobody sits down and - does the thing.
Fig: That's right… - though. Yeah.
page 06
Fig: sometimes it's someone else who - doesn't want the same thing to happen.
Riz: … - mm.
page 07
Riz (off screen): …It took me a long time to get that not everyone likes doing what I do. - 's probably because you guys are so nice– - or. - kind.
Riz (off screen): to anyone too, not just. - the people you /love/.
page 08
Riz: that's not how it is elsewhere. - The world's– not. hostile. - but 's not like it's kind.
Riz: So I'm doing as much as I can now…
page 09
Fig: Hey.
Riz: ?
Fig: Go dig some dirt with me.
page 10
Riz: [blank speech bubble] - oh you meant like - actual dirt. (not incriminating information)
Fig: o yea.
Fig: there's clay in the backyard soil. - sometimes when I'm sun deficient or something I go touch dirt for a bit.
page 11
Fig: here u go
page 12
Riz: uh
Fig: now we make a thing! - 'm pretty good at freehanding a bowl.
Fig: I'll show u
page 13
Fig: just– yep, flatten that out as evenly as u can, then–! - actually ur nails'd be so good at cutting out the strip. [larger than usual space] wait. - wait. wait u can carve patterns with them! we HAVE to try
Riz: uh - What. do I carve?
Fig: anything!!!
page 14
Fig: and– yep just seal the inside uh. seam?
Fig: yep that works - okay time's up! all contestant hands up
Riz: [blank speech bubble] - okay - wh. what's next?
Fig: haha - watch this.
(sound effect text): FWOO—MP
page 15
Riz: WH– DON'T JUST DO THAT???
Fig: Now it's fired!
Riz: THAT WAS NOT SAFE
Fig: (actually it's just dry. if u add water rn it'll dissolve)
Fig: ok catch!
Riz: [blank speech bubble] - careful!!
Fig: dw no need haha
page 16
Riz (thought bubble): oh - it's warm…
Fig: now I want you to throw this.
page 17
Fig: u gotta do it - c'mon
page 18
Riz: wh– - It's like 3AM right now
Fig: oh it's not /fired/ fired it's not gonna make a loud noise
Riz: And then just? leave a pile out here?
Fig: pour water over it & it'll be gone I told u
Riz: but
page 19
Fig (off screen): RIz.
page 20
Fig: I've done all this before.
Fig: Can you trust that at least?
page 21
Riz: no, I– - I do. - I trust you.
page 23
Riz: okay what happens now
(sound effect text): glob
page 24
Fig: we do it again!
page 25
Riz: wh. [larger than usual space] What do you mean. (this clay's too wet also)
Fig: see! you're already learning
Fig: [blank speech bubble] - there are flows that are futile to fight. - The world changes.
Fig: Things change.
page 26
Fig: I've learned my lessons with "forevers". - But - as an artist
Fig: I can give you one thing: - You can always do it again.
page 27
Fig: most of everything depends on the rest of the world, - but this. - making new. - that's yours as long as you want it.
page 28
Fig: So?
page 29
Riz: Yeah. - Yeah! - let's make another one.
#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#riz gukgak#figueroth faeth#technically no spoilers in this comic but listen. I Will be gloating in tags. I will Never Shut Up#for the record!! this was fully conceptualized and sketched Before the finales. I started sketching this after the boat fight#and when murph closed riz's arc this season with ''maybe it's okay to change and welcome new things'' I pogged irl#I am simply the best at reading comprehension what can I say! (<- grown ass man with roughly the same perspective on teenhood as the player#fucked up that this became so long (almost 30 squares lol) that it took me this long to finish#lmao I say all that but. genuinely I am delirious and my feelings abt riz's arc this season are so big... I was getting psychic backlash#for a While lol. it was scary!!#had to sit down and do therapy on my own ass for a bit. the teenage apocalyticisation is real. that word isnt tho Im pretty sure#truly anything you do at that age feels like that's it that's all you've got going on forever. and its not true! its simply not true#you'll be okay my guy. you love your friends so so much but also there will be more to love out there#this one goes out to fellow aroaces and also folks leaving somewhere theyve called home for a long time#nothing lasts forever but that means new things come by too! ur ability to make new is infinite!!#there's no magnum opus people leave but new people come by too etc. I am too sleepy to remember what I wanted to say uhhh#well. thank u for looking at my art. I think thats the one pack it n ship it boys
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Lackadaisy Enrichment
#in our enclosures!!#video linked as source; which i'm glad to see already has a million views and is trending. That's Right#lackadaisy#WHICH i have been reading since at least '07 when i was thirteen my god b/c this animation is based on the ongoing webcomic#like does its influence show up Directly in some Discrete way i can point to in my art? not very easily probably. And Yet.#the inspiration....i wasn't able to be Regularly Only for at least another year / art done Nonprofessionally Online was novel to me#like wow ppl can make & post fanart of w/e they love huh....didn't know webcomics were a thing & i never really read that many since but.#good god the quality of Lackadaisy at its onset is like this is superb?? this person putting in all their talent and effort???#and Then you get years & years more art and i don't even know what superlatives to throw out abt its quality as it evolves. obsessed w/it..#if i see a new lackadaisy comic page i Will be acting out. obviously this animation is a delight & also stunning. and fascinating to also#juxtapose as a Translation / Interpretation of the comic in a different medium & standalone snippet of Story#and that we're not even quite there in the comic timeline; Taking Notes abt character info we get distilledly here....genuinely love like#take it back to '07 i'm like oh boy can't wait for the dream team to assemble. then a decade later when it did? Oh Boy. that is payoff lol#namely hooray for stitches and mudbug at the field office for every passing gangster. killing one marigold associate but not the other#which seems like a promising start to shootouts w/the other dream team triumvirate. i adore that in canon so far mordecai freckle & rocky#have met but only over a nice brunch. re: all intentions anyways. anyways i'm like Gifs Must Be Made while i'm also so riled afresh abt the#comic that i've been sooo hype for for over fifteen yrs now babeyyy Deservedly. i've done a couple of rereads & ought to do another....#For Interest it'd probably take a few sittings to catch up from the start but there is much to be engaged over....this ongoing story that's#historical fiction prohibition bootlegging cats with plenty of focus on characters & several Mysteries. which i'm better at parsing now lol#like one of the more recent rereads like Oh Of Course x (probably) accidentally killed his y & z took the fall & that's a binding secret...#Not [oh of course] abt the circumstances surrounding a's death & how b & c were involved. nor the ''what's marigold's damage'' mystery#which is great. love to not know things. love that we can readily follow all the emergent drama everyone's wading in nowadays. hell yeah#anyways admire my organized approach to gifs here. four shots each Expressions Atmosphere Action Groupshots#sure might've muddled through gifmaking for this anyways but fr being a huge lackadaisy comic enjoyer for now most of my life helps#and its very Overall Inspiration like. just really getting the [you can really just draw stuff out here] going. fr the art's detail & skill#and that enrichment like i'm gonna have a great time following this. And I Have#you don't expect a crowdfunded indie animation in the mix back then but hell yeah fellas#SIGH ok removing a 4th gif that's broken / not displayed despite reuploading then entirely remaking it. if it's a bug i'll try again later
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no thoughts just Heiji Hattori (HD)
#detective conan#case closed#amv#my amvs#eye strain#heiji hattori#harley hartwell#conan edogawa#shinichi kudo#funimation english dub script#video#happy two-year anniversary to 'no thoughts just heiji hattori'!#while it's not my first amv (it's maybe my... fifth?)#it was the first one i made with davinci resolve and the amv that really got me into editing amvs for real#it's the amv that made me believe i could make amvs 🥺#and in remastering it i deeply understood how ambitious it was! i thought i did a lot of audio mixing for 'messed up'#but that's not even close to all the audio mixing i did here--cannot believe that i did all this for my first big amv project#it took about 20 hours *just* to remaster!#which is something i've been meaning to do for a while now so i'm very happy to finally share the results!#to make this a 'remaster' and not a 'redo' the only changes i tried to make were to the source footage and audio#video now uses almost entirely hd remastered footage from my blu-rays or netflix rather than my dvds#but oh gosh was it *hard* not to touch anything else! i'd do so many things differently now#but this video will always be really special to me (and i can't believe i did it at all tbh!)#i hope seeing it in hd is fun too! i'm so blown away by all the love this vid's gotten#and that it helped increase interest in funi's old english dub is amazing and 100% what i was trying to do with it!#thank you everyone for all the support <333 i wouldn't be the video editor i am today without this vid or your encouragement for it <3333#like the original the sources used are mostly from what funi dubbed (but mixed in hd by me!): eps 48-49 57-58 77-78 117 and 118 and movie 3#but i also used episodes 141-142 174 189 239 263 277 291 293 345 479 491 517 and 522#and ova 3 and tv special 6 (episode one) and movies 10 and 13 and ops 27 31 and 33 and the funi 5.2 dvd blooper for the one line lol#the song is 'you're stupid aren't you' by toshio masuda (from jubei-chan 2)
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talking to normal people about mha is always so enlightening because someone told me they didn't like season six and i was like???? THE BIBLE??????? YOU DONT LIKE THE BIBLE??? BAKUGOU KATSUKI RISING?? THE APOLOGY??? THE CHASING AFTER HIM TO FIGHT SHIGARAKI, THE REVEAL KATSUKI HAS BEEN WORRIED ABOUT IZUKU, IZUKU'S FERAL RAGE WHEN KATSUKI IS STABBED, KATSUKI BEING THE ONE TO FIND IZUKU AND THEN THE ONE TO BRING HIM HOME??? YOU DONT ENJOY THE SACRED TEXTS?? and then i'm like oh right not everyone is a fujoshi high on that sweet, sweet bkdk yaoi
#bkdk#bakudeku#it took all of my willpower not to be like my brother in christ i'm a fujo i'm gonna like anything that bkdk appears in#i'm not here for the powerscaling or the pacing or if they should be third years#i tried to say it like “oh lol i know everything that's gonna happen hhaha i am one of the crazies who stays up for leaks”#but i wanted to be like listen man i'm really only here for the homoeroticism idc about whatever it is youre talking about#not that i dont love mha as a whole i think it's got such a fun sandbox world and cast#it just feels like someone being like omg tell me if that new restaurant is good#and i'm like what the fuck i'm in the kitchen doing cocaine with the cooks#i was a waitress i'm allowed to say this#like we are not consuming the same thing#i'm in the goddamn trenches my emotional state depends on how homoerotic mha is gonna be#i'm in the deep underbelly of bkdk hands and soulmates and yearning i dont even know what you're talking about#i like mha an annoying amount#i wanted to be like remember when i came into work skipping and singing that was because we got bkdk sunset/ptsd scene#i'm a little freak goblin dont ask me if it's good i dont care that it's good I CARE THAT ITS MINE but also fuck you its good#it's the best fuck off if you dont like it you arent worthy of it#hori this is why you should give in and make bkdk canon the fujos are the ones who really love you
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Good Omens + Tumblr (pt. 7)
(pt. 1) (pt. 2) (pt. 3) (pt. 4) (pt. 5) (pt. 6)
twitter version
#it took me two years to continue this lol#aziraphale#crowley#ineffable husbands#muriel#gabriel#good omens#good omens 2#good omens s2#good omens season 2#good omens but with textposts#my garbage#kinda funny to see how the quality improves compared to the first one#(lie->it's not funny. it makes me want to re-do them all over again)#3 DAYS!!!
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realized a drawing i'm doing rn is almost identically posed to one i did 8.5 years ago of a different oc, except the old drawing was instantly tainted by one of the players featured messaging me asking if i could take it down because their abusive, possessive rp partner saw it and got jealous of them "roleplaying behind their back" and i said "nah" and it became a whole Thing that i should have walked away from at that exact moment but didn't and the 6 months that followed contained some of the most truly condensed batshit i have ever witnessed in an rp community already well-known for its batshittery.
... anyway i love my friends. so happy to accidentally redeem the pose.
#idk if ill ever open up completely about that shitshow but#i think 8 years is past the statute of limitations to vaguepost about it#late tag addition but man now i'm thinking about it all at 4am#how did in the good goddamn did i witness that and still not only let them make me an officer#but also let them put me functionally in charge of their guild IC#while those two fucked off and erped in instanced zones or played overwatch#and i and my then-rp-partner took the heat for the meandering plotline#until my partner vented to the wrong person about the abuse#and it got back to them#and we got to experience the surreality of an honest to god guild coup#all to salvage the image of some egomaniac abuser#certified fucking wra moment#its been 8 years and thinking about how i was treated in the end makes me feel sick lol#they made a new guild discord and invited everyone but us#and when i noticed the channel had gone quiet i asked what was up#and was met with gaslighting about how i'm 'thinking too much' about the channel being a 'little slow'#and it took pushing to get an early admission of what was about to happen#so we logged on and quit ourselves#which fucked up the narrative they had constructed#and they lied in the new channel that WE were the ones doing a 'coup' and that we stole the members who left with us#i guess i am opening up after all#i had to play the fucking villain of that scenario for the past 8 years#all to protect the mental health of people who hurt me#why#if you were there and know what i'm referencing with all of this... there's the fucking story#the person in question is a massively popular artist#i just dont have it in me to fight that fight
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Tumblr April Fools Boop with Sung Hyunjae & Han Yoojin, inspired by @transsongtaewon's post
#the s classes that i raised#the s-classes that i raised#my s class hunters#my s-class hunters#han yoojin#sung hyunjae#s classes that i raised#sctir#s-classes that i raised#my gif#tsctiredit#tsctir gif#mine mine#webnoveledit#webtoonedit#boop#boop au#bak yerim#han yoohyun#han gyeol#tsctir peace#flashing tw#tsctir crescent moon#it took me 10000 years but here it is lol#also want to make peace inspired ones but it should probably deserve its own post lol#me making edits nobody asked for#hyj doing the boop clicks manually#while shj would just get someone to arrange hundreds of userscripts to spam boop hyj nonstop and crash the website#technically its supposed to be your own username that appears when you click the boopometer cat but i wanted a peace icon so#my og idea for han gyeols icon was shj in a baby outfit from that one panel but with pink hair but it was unrecognizable when shrank lol
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don't make me go here
#k#my art#pim#:] pim sighting...#finally... executed but ONE drawing of him the way i wanted... only took 4 fuckin years#photo drawover#the sky was beautiful this day#thts why i took the pic#we were in the car#was a while ago now#a few months#glad i got to use it for something :3 have a bunch of photos i can probably do similar things 2#art#artists on tumblr#cat#original character#i see pim as kind of. a guy who is present when terrible things happen but not necessarily the cause of them#he does enjoy seeing it tho :3 i think its funny to him#seeing people me miserably hes like “lol why are u doing that??? :3 idiot.!!”
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Origins is of course the DA game most closely in conversation with and playing around with Tolkien (right down to the walking talking poetree haha) -- and even more so than most works in the larger western fantasy tradition derived from Tolkien's work that DA:O also hails from and owes a lot of its Stuff to, what makes the game so great to me is that it's doing so very deliberately, and is subverting and deconstructing those tropes and entrenched ideas in some very interesting ways without at all denigrating what it's commenting on. (it doesn't have the almost disdainful undertones of the vein of fantasy that seeks to make the world more 'realistic' ala the more tedious reactions to G.R.R.Martin's work, for example, despite having the darker fantasy bent to it.) among other elements it adopts, what I find the most fascinating is the choice to use the same literary device/conceit Tolkien did in ostensibly only having in-universe biased sources and works to deliver the world through (which I feel is an underappreciated thing about his approach but is part of what makes his world so enduringly compelling and real-feeling -- the feeling of real scholarship devoted/applied to a made-up world. the grounding effect of a good diegetic footnote about source criticism, truly).
many things to be said there, and I'm glad each following game has taken on different perspectives and lenses and traditions to view the world of Thedas through because if you stick with that one too closely for too long I fear we could teeter precariously close to Pratchett's famous and bitingly accurate accusation of most modern fantasy of that era just being about rearranging the furniture in Tolkien's attic lol. and while you could accuse DA2 (my perfect wife who has never done anything wrong in her life to be clear) of many things, that's not one of them, they are pulling on some completely different strings for that one and both the game and DA overall is better for it, to my mind. as so many things in this series: worth staying with and exploring for an installment even if it might get stale if all of it was like this! people are understandably sad about the elements from previous games that they liked which were lost along the way, but that capacity for reinvention is to my mind a huge strength of dragon age as a whole.
(I think Veilguard is coming in as a close second in Tolkien conversation-ness if only in outlining/revealing the worldbuilding that indeed may have been planned since DA:O around the animosity that SHOULD by all rights exist between dwarves and elves in this universe (as per Tolkienesque tradition standards). but doesn't really because you see: politics and the many pitfalls of conservation of knowledge over the ages. our ancestral enmity got semi-intentionally lost between the floorboards of history and you know what. maybe for the best. the humans are already up to so much shit you gotta keep your eyes on them at all times you can't be brawling with each other in the deep roads while they're still around getting up to their nonsense or they'll just pile up even more of it)
#dragon age#dragon age origins#been thinking about the unreliable narration/in-universe texts only element being the thing da:o took from tolkien that's most defining#for a LONG time and I want to write something smart about it sometime but alas. this is what I've got right now haha#I think *some* da:o nostalgia is about that familiar safe childhood feeling of Fantasy World in a pattern that was so deeply entrenched#for many many MANY years. it's been in the groundwater of the genre for so long it's only fairly recently the patterns were broken#on like a mainstream sort of scale. I know I'm getting older b/c I keep going 'how do I explain to some of these people#that the world (both the real one the fictional one and the gaming one) was a very different place back in 2009' lol#and I agree there's something so tremendously comforting about it even with all the grimdark elements more in the martin vein#that's also in da:o. the same way you get satisfaction out of the structural familiarity of fairy tale logic but for a whole genre#da:o follows the Rules of a fantasy world in post-tolkien tradition -- even when it's subverting them it's doing so in reference#to a set of tropes and ideas both you and the game are deeply familiar and comfortable with#(da:o IS also just a really fucking good game I'm NOT saying people's love for it comes from being blinded by nostalgia haha#just an observation of a thing I've recognized in myself as well. there are elves there are dwarves there are talking trees and dragons#and basically orcs. all is as it should be and everything makes sense <- the part of me that grew up on lotr and derived works lol)#and while the other games also have all these elements they don't USE them in the same way and it doesn't feel the same. it's so interestin#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#only in the vaguest way but still#you know what veilguard occasionally feels more like actually. sci-fi! and it's not an accusation or a bad thing for me I think it's great#da:i veers more to high fantasy and da2 feels weirdly low-fantasy -- it's a story where magic also happens to exist but I almost forget lol#it's a magical world and magic is integral to the plot but thematically it's so much about real-feeling political conflict#da:o is a Quest in da2 you're new in town (and it gets worse)
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G I F D I R E C T O R Y
gifs all by me #peanutsgifs
Shows, movies and specials and by character and holiday
🍪 Snoopy
🪹 Woodstock
🪁 Charlie Brown
🎀 Sally Brown
🪙 Lucy Van Pelt
🩵 Linus Van Pelt
🚲 Rerun Van Pelt
😴 Peppermint Patty
📓 Franklin Johnson
👓 Marcie
🎹 Schroeder
⚾️ Peanuts Gang
🥂 New Year’s
💕 Valentine’s Day
🍀 St. Patrick’s Day
💐 Easter
🎃 Halloween
🍁 Thanksgiving
🎄 Christmas
A Boy Named Charlie Brown
Be My Valentine, Charlie Brown
A Charlie Brown Christmas
A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving
Camp Snoopy
The Charlie Brown and Snoopy Show
Charlie Brown's Christmas Tales
Snoopy Presents: For Auld Lang Syne
Happiness is a Warm Blanket, Charlie Brown
Happy New Year, Charlie Brown
I Want A Dog for Christmas, Charlie Brown
Is This Goodbye, Charlie Brown
It’s An Adventure, Charlie Brown
It's Christmastime Again, Charlie Brown
It’s Magic, Charlie Brown
It's the Easter Beagle, Charlie Brown
It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown
Snoopy Presents: It's the Small Things, Charlie Brown
Snoopy Presents: Lucy's School
Life Is a Circus, Charlie Brown
Peanuts Motion Comics
The Peanuts Movie
Play It Again, Charlie Brown
Race for Your Life, Charlie Brown
Snoopy Come Home
Snoopy in Space
Snoopy's Reunion
The Snoopy Show
Snoopy! The Musical
Take Care with Peanuts
There’s No Time For Love, Charlie Brown
This Is America, Charlie Brown
Snoopy Presents: To Mom (and Dad) with Love
Snoopy Presents: Welcome Home Franklin
Why Charlie Brown Why
You’re A Good Man, Charlie Brown
You're Not Elected, Charlie Brown
Sets reblogged from my other sideblogs
1K+ collection
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#gif directory#it took me almost a year to finally do this lol#it probably would’ve been easier if I did it from the beginning#but I had to go back and tag and link everything one by one#took like two days but worth it#hope someone finds it useful#if a link doesn’t work it’s bc the gif set still hasn’t queued#I have 100+ sets made and scheduled#I will also reblog you if you tag peanutsedit#reminder too that if you copy and paste my gifs to your own post or outside of tumblr I will block you#or use as your banner#I also block anyone who looks like a bot esp if they are a blank blog with no reblogs and no icon#auto blocked if you have p*** on your likes and reblogs too#I don’t necessarily not take requests I just am picky so I will consider them but no promises and no offense if I don’t make it#it’s not you it’s me really lol
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"Seungmin would be SO hot if he got muscle like, can you imagine?" You would be hotter if you shut your mouth but we can't always get what we want so <3
#the amount of times ive seen this exact comment or sentiment over the past 6ish months in particular#truly pissing me off <3#like first things first- hes already handsome so if you dont see that... its fine. we all have different tastes but also be quiet <3#but like we know first hand from him that he isnt particularly interested in the gym and working out#hes not a changbin. its not his thing- he goes to keep up stamina for live shows#and the fact hes been very specific in saying so any time anyone mentions him working out and going to the gym is so like......#its kinda obvious that hes doing a polite 'please dont hassle me about getting bigger' so he makes sure to always go Its For Endurance#and yet i still see this and also. um theres other members who are muscley so why does seungmin also have to follow that route?#like if you want muscle theres people you can go look at... but also half these people cant even identify actual healthy muscle#vs. someone being so skinny that they have no fat on them and somehow think thats real muscle so like lol#its been so specifically the past half a year tho like whats that about why#its really one of those be quiet im so tired#well on the otherhand i was so stressed about my doctors appointment but now annoyance took the worries place so 🤷♀️#like its funny how X should lose weight comments are recognised for being shitty but the 'x should totally change his physique' is chill tho#like if seungmin organically of his own accord ever becomes a muscle bro bc /he/ wants that than for sure i'll be like Woo go seungmin !!#but only if he wants it. not the fans being annoying not bc of staff or beauty standards not bc of the other guys
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one of my favorite things about getting older is that I’m just more sure and more confident in taking control in social situations and making other people feel at ease. I really love it!
#have always wanted to be good at it but it takes time#at least for me#my mom was describing one of her college friends to me the other day#and she goes ‘yeah she was kind of like you. personable and direct and kind.#‘and she was always going to deal with you (positive) instead of ignoring you’#honestly compliment of all time! because it does not come totally naturally to me#and there’s a lot that gets in my way—shyness anxiety a certain stiffness#but I love when i can feel it sort of giving way#anyway just rambling#also once again teaching has helped with this so much#because kids HAVE to be guided through a social situation. they don’t know what to do#and if I let them run it it’s always stupid#so just taking control asking the questions kind of —situating them so we can have a moment and then I can dismiss them#not that I do the same with adults lol. but works more often than you think#just having some direction and taking charge of a social interaction#I remember this comedian once saying he loved when someone took control in a social situation re: greetings/handshakes/hugs#like ‘oh thank goodness someone is figuring this out’ it’s so true and so funny skskdkdjd#I hope there is nothing peremptory about it! but I often find I’m so much ruder by doing nothing#than by being proactively kind and (hopefully) appropriate to the occasion#you know I’ve spoken on it before but my life really changed#when I made myself go back and say goodbye to my students after graduation my second year teaching#like. I literally ran away because I was so shy and it felt so awkward and no one was taking charge of how to do it#and the students wouldn’t (can’t) so it felt like they didn’t want to#and then I realized no—if someone is going to take the lead here it has to be me#and then I did! and there was in fact so much love waiting for me#people just don’t know how to show it#so you have to give them an opportunity#this is so many thoughts but I feel this sooooo much and I care about it so much
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Any favorite moments with Baihe? Like witnessing her first steps? Something similar.
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#lego monkie kid#lego monkie kid fanart#monkie kid#monkie kid fanart#lmk#lmk fanart#lmk mayor#monkie kid mayor#blue and violet#how sweet#this took me so long to do LMAO#drawing takes too long for me istg#at least it was fun to do#Baihe is such a sweet pea#and look its a Xiuying cameo!#her design isn't really set in stone here but thats basically what she looks like lmao#the time of these memories is vauge but the ones in the first panel would have been after Xiuying passed away#because Baihe was only two before that#so obviously there is a limit as to how much Baihe can do as a two year old lol#also Ling is not as concerned as they should be with Baihe holding a sword#don't worry the weapon is wooden
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adhd comix
#man i dont even have the energy to be mad. im just tired#like. dont u love it when your parents exhibit symptoms of ADHD and your sibling is diagnosed with a learning disability#and instead of thinking oh shit what if the other one has smth too. they subject you to The Horrors#i cant bring myself to hate my parents. but im tired of feeling obligated to defend them when the thing they think is working#isnt actually working and ive just found other ways to cope to avoid any sort of conflict. like lying and stealing. lol#if someone took me aside and said 'hey so your brain doesnt make as much dopamine as usual and its not a bad thing it just means you#need external stimulation and reward system to function and youre not actually secretly fucked up or lazy' as a kid#im pretty sure i wouldnt be here rn with half the problems i already have. unfortunately getting diagnosed late means u dont have a teacher#to back you up at a parent teacher conference that forces your parents to take this shit seriously instead of ignoring it hoping itll#go away on its own. but hey what do i know i have squirrel ipad baby disease. what do i know about my own symptoms#AND. AND i think im allowd to be mad bc ive been doing my own research on this for years before and after diagnosis#theyve been putting me thru the WORST parenting techniques on earth. which they could have corrected at anytime but they were#comfortable thinking they were doing it right and didnt bother to check if they were or werent fucking up their kid in the long run#and refusing to acknowledge it. i just!! they just decided one day hey lets make babies!! and just looked at books on how to make#a human being survive as long as possible!!! what the fuck!!!!#im sorry for putting this on ppls dashes but i am. so tired. of bottling this up. and im not looking for sympathy or anything i just need#to scream and clench my fists to SOMEONE about it because theyre not gonna take this well up the ass. sigh#yapping#vent
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went to the state fair yesterday and tried so so much good food !!! my favorite things were the pickle lemonade (literally my favorite drink ever since i first tried it a couple weeks ago) and the fried pickles and the roasted corn. feeling like a true midwesterner after that :-)
#although i will say the pickle lemonade i tried by the lake by our house was a lot better#it was punchier#the ones at the fair were watered down a bit i think just from the ice melting in the heat#but it’s just SO refreshing#genuinely something my dr would prescribe for one of my health conditions is a shot of pickle juice#so it was so rejuvenating LOL#it was rly fun !! my home state doesn’t have a state fair like THAT#but it took me back to my 4H days :#when i competed agility w my childhood dog as a kid and camped out to do some horse riding events and archery#and pigs and chickens and such#rly nostalgic haha#i only did pigs one year bc it was too sad#but i was a chicken girl through and through#4H is what started me down the dog trainer career path and sparked that interest as a hobby#i didn’t pursue it seriously until a long time later and have since taken a hiatus bc of burnout but#it did remind me why i fell so head over heels in love w it#something abt being so in tune w another creature like that is just#so special#we didn’t get to watch the stunt dogs tho we missed the show :((#i kinda want to go back again to see them perform#kinda feeling like it might reignite something in me and maybe i’ll start making steps to be a trainer again#i’ve been missing it#personal
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