#it sucks it fucking sucks I wish I was normal about my interests I wish I could read social cues I wish I wasn't off-putting or overbearing

[queenlua]

okay, wow, uhhhh, apparently my comment section Yearns for me to do some mean-spirited unfair goofy dunking, lol.

here's the Cliff's Notes version, as a compromise between What The People Desire and The Spirit Remaining Relatively Inert In Me. there's probably not much new here if you already saw me yell about Chambers and/or Mishima over on Dreamwidth, but here we go!

(for context, the only Chambers i've read is A Long Way to a Small Angry Planet (henceforth referred to as ALWtaSAP). i've read Mishima's entire Sea of Fertility tetralogy plus The Temple of the Golden Pavilion.)

((SPEAKING OF WHICH: this is Total Desperation Hours, but if anyone reading this has read the entirety of the Sea of Fertility tetralogy, SLIDE INTO MY DMs IMMEDIATELY, I WISH TO TALK TO YOU AT GREAT LENGTH. SPECIFICALLY I WISH TO TALK ABOUT KEIKO AND THE FUCKING CHRISTMAS PARTY IN BOOK 4. i have only ever met one other human who read the whole thing & it was at a mediocre taco bar & i was so overcome with ECSTASY and WONDERMENT at finally getting to talk about THAT FUCKING SCENE that i accidentally doused all my tacos in far too much hot sauce to be even remotely edible, but i ate them anyway because i didn't want the conversation to end, and i suffered so hard for that but. it was so worth it. ))

anyway.

the lazy handwave-y case for "ALWtaSAP is fascist actually":

the way the narrative treated Corbin in ALWtaSAP REALLY bothered me, right?

all the other crew members in the book have very Nice™ interpersonal skills, and would flawlessly succeed in any corporate Crucial Conversations training...

...whereas Corbin is kind of a dick, has rough edges, and would absolutely get reported to HR for generally having a bad attitude, etc...

...but the narrative treats this as, instead of an instance of Normal Human Variation... well, it's treated as a profound and intractable moral failing.

it's treated this way to the point where, when Corbin's life is in peril, the whole group makes it clear they're only rescuing him out of their own magnanimity, not because he's, y'know, a fucking human worthy of consideration. he *deserves* to get fucked over for the "being a clone" thing or whatever, and it's implied to be related to his garbage personality (even though his personality has absolutely nothing to do with his predicament!)

first off: gross! even if you don't accept my mean-spirited "let's link this back to fascism" argument, it still sucks bigtime.

but you're here for me to kick hornets' nests, so:

you know how, e.g. the recent film The Zone of Interest portrayed the nice "domestic" side of nazi official life? there's that whole "herrenvolk retaking the countryside" meme, right. certainly one of the most visible fash aesthetics is Violent Masculinity and Glorious Battle and what-the-fuck ever, but... "tradwives preserving Family Values in peaceful farm-y settings" is a pretty essential part of the whole ideology too. Hedwig is just as much as complicit as Rudolf. you could perhaps call this the "soft"/"femme" side of fascism. which is lazy and hand-wavy and reductionist but here we go

so okay, ALWtaSAP is the soft/femme side of fascism. the entire narrative is very DOMESTIC, but like, Zone of Interest was very domestic too, right. there's a very thin veneer of queer-friendliness over it—the interspecies relationships/gay characters/etc are in fact considered Totally Fine... but the narrative makes it SO clear if you're not Nice and Interpersonally Polite in exactly the correct ways, they actually do view you as a bad person.

and, like, fascist ideology absolutely has carve-outs for "this is fine if you do it in Exactly The Correct Way," right. like, Intense Homoeroticism Between Manly Dudes is certainly a thing in fascism, as we'll get to in a bit. which doesn't make fascism queer-friendly, obv, but it makes it friendly to someone who's queer in exactly the right kind of heavily circumscribed way and God Forbid You Step Off That Path Slightly Or Piss Off The Wrong Guy

(isn't it weird how the entire crew of that fucking ship, sans Corbin, never seems to display any real interpersonal unpleasantness? how convenient for all of them. how fucking convenient. wonder what would happen if any of them did do anything to fall outside the Tightly-Prescribed Ideal Of Domesticity. they replaced "make babies" with "be nice to found family" but whatever it has the same vibe)

anyway yeah, i think that's sort of fucked! (especially given that, y'know, plenty of Real Actual Queer People are in fact not nice in exactly the correct ways but that doesn't make them less people or someone you get to jettison, etc)

you could push back against this argument by pointing out that these attitudes—(interpersonal Niceness, broad tolerance for certain types of non-normative activity so long as they can be rendered Legible, etc)—are more neoliberal-y than fash-y in nature. and you'd probably be right! i'm not much of a theory girl, haha. i would have to actually read some literature instead of just vibes-ing it if i wanted to make this anything more than a particularly spicy Vice article. but this is just a spicy Vice article, so....

...though, come to think of it, let's further bolster the "actually it's fascism" case: remember that bit in ALWtaSAP where Corbin "cures" Ohan?

brief recap for those who (wisely) bleached this book from their memory: Ohan is an alien whose culture revolves around the "Whisper," a virus that exclusively infects Ohan's species. if you get infected by the Whisper, you get much-enhanced intelligence plus the ability to pilot spacecraft (via enhanced reactions/reflexes/Knowledge Of Complex Space-Math or something)... but your lifespan is also drastically reduced. Ohan likes being infected by a Whisper very much; he was given full knowledge of the virus's effects prior to being infected; he understands it reduces his lifespan but is still happy just the way he is.

so, near the end of the book, Corbin just... non-consensually administers the cure to Ohan & kills the virus? lmao?? and everyone yells at Corbin a bit, but also the narrative does seem to lowkey endorse this as The Correct Outcome; now Ohan will get to live much longer!!! everyone agrees that's Good and Correct, right!!! like sure there WAS a moral dilemma here, but we gave The Evil Action to our Designated Shitbag, so now all the Good characters can just enjoy the good results of his bad action.

again: this is a huge part of Ohan's species's culture! they have a whole religion built around this shit! and the narrative just kinda endorsed... y'know... robbing him of that? on the basis of bodily integrity/purity...?

you see where i'm going with this, right. You Know Who Else Is Obsessed With Bodily Integrity/Purity? that's right it's the fascists lol

anyway.

the argument for "Yukio Mishima is the Macho/Hard/Manly side of fascism"... i think that case writes itself lol? uhhhh, lmk if i need to spell that one out, because i sure CAN blather on about Mishima at exhausting length, but i'm pretty sure i don't need to lol. like, i love me some Spring Snow just as much as the next bitch, and i don't think "damn this dude was fashy as hell" is the only reading you can do (particularly wrt Spring Snow, it's really interesting to think of it as a reimagining of the Tale of Genji story with modern sensibilities, its relationship to 18th-century romanticism, etc), but like... dude does make it pretty incontrovertibly clear that Heroic Violent Action Is The Only Way To Save Your Nation And/Or Yourself, the aesthetics are very Sexy Murder Poet, the books' absolute contempt for fragility/age/weakness are pretty clear, in book 3 whenever he's writing a female character you desperately wish he'd just go back to the universe where Everyone Is A Dude And Also Very Gay For Each Other, because while that universe was obviously also sexist you at least didn't need to read whole passages about how much of a bitch Honda's wife is for *checks notes* having a kidney condition... uhhh i'm losing the plot here somewhat lol. let me know if i need to go pluck some books off the shelf

anyway @bogfox @radicarian @spiralingintocontrol @pretty-rage-machine @vintar @midori-verte , as requested, that's the Take lol

"the work of Becky Chambers and Yukio Mishima are two sides of the same fascist coin" is a Take that would be mean-spirited & kinda unfair & extremely goofy, but... i do think i could pull it off. if the spirit so moved me.

it might be too niche of a comparison to actually piss someone off, tho, & if i went to all the work of kicking the hornet's nest only to hear a faint buzz in return then what was the point

[supersecretnerd]

Ok so these designs are cute as hell, the Internet is just mean

I have too many thoughts about a game I still need to watch

[gaylittleguys]

it’s actually so fucked up and evil that random white npcs from bg3 that show up twice got more dedicated fans than Wyll

[bigeloo]

M yup 5 am prime time to overthink about how I lost friends over my autistic traits 👍

[myhouse-pk3]

me when i tweet about hating shart park and then my few friends that do like it take it as a personal attack and reply shit like U hate me? :c Yeah actually if you start fucking acting like that. you know the shit i say isnt about you goodness gracious

[iridescentis]

losing my mind a little

[monarchy-sys]

See I've decided to suddenly use this blog right now because if I vent to one more person directly I might actually explode. Fuck having problems or talking to people in order to cope I have decided to renounce being annoying forever. Look at my vent tags boy

[bababaka]

Yall need to interact with fanfiction author's more.

So. After the ddos attack on ao3.

I was encouraged to write more comments and make my love known to fanfic writers.

I dont really like commenting. Because im a bit shy and soooo lazy.

Now though. I am writing more comments. And dude. This is so heartwarming. Ya'll need to treat writers better. They are doing the lord's work.

Take for an example, couple of days prior, i was searching for something interesting to read, and found an oneshot quite compelling.

I read it. At the end of it, i was blown away by how good it was. It promised me something and it went beyond my expectations. But then i saw a crime, zero fucking comments!

At that moment, i wasn't feeling up to writing a comment. Because, normally i like to write huge paragraphs. But because im lazy i decided to be brief.

Next day, the author answered that the comment lift their mood for the whole day.

That warmed my heart.

Duuuuuuuude! Write comments! Suport the writers of the fics you like! No need to be something super elaborate. Just give your thoughts. Freak out. Ramble. Ask something. Make theories. Compliment. Make a joke about how you wished to give kudos every chapter but ao3 sucks(not true bby) and won't let you.

Truly. Just. Comment. It can make someone's day. And that is part of the apeal of writing fics. Interacting with people.

Just give love to fanfic writers yall. They deserve this and so much more.

[melobin]

rules 𐙚 sungchan ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

warnings. best friend!sungchan, protected sex, unprotected sex, some mentions of oral (m receiving), mentions of masturbation, porn with plot.

wc. 7.7k

summary. you and your best friend sungchan end up having sex, but not without setting some rules first.

you felt your head spin as you looked down at sungchan beneath you, his chest raising rapidly against your hands as you sank down on his cock again, repeating the pace you had set a few moments prior. there was already a sheet of sweat covering his toned body, strands of his fringe sticking to his forehead as the rest of his hair stuck up messily from the way you were pulling on it earlier on. 

despite how physically pleasuring the situation was, both on your body and your eyes, you still found yourself in disbelief of the position the two of you were in. sungchan was your best friend, he had been for over a decade. you grew up together, did everything together. pretty much every friend you both had was because of the other one, everyone knew you two as a pair. 

you shared intimacy, spent nights together where you laughed and fell asleep leaning against one another, sungchan comforted you with his big arms and a slightly oversized tub of ice cream after your first break up and you done the same back after he failed his driving test - three times over. yet, your shared intimacy never went past anything platonic, it had simply never occurred between the two of you. until a few weeks ago that is.

it was normal for your friends to eventually meet sungchan, and it wasn’t that uncommon for them to find him attractive. you were used to the hushed whispers into your ear about how tall and handsome he was, whispers that you always replied to with an eye roll and a playful suck of your teeth. you knew sungchan was handsome, but it wasn’t something you ever paid too much attention to. you had no reason to. but your friends always did.

sungchan always gave the same response when you told him about your friends lusting over him, he laughed and brushed it off, not wishing to entertain your friends or feed into their desires. 

“are you sure you’re not celibate?”

“fuck no” sungchan was absolutely not celibate, your friends just didn’t do it for him. you couldn’t have guessed who did even if you tried, and you did try.

“what about giselle?”

“no”

“mimi?”

“no”

“wonbin?”

“maybe” you hummed tilting your head to the side and looking towards the boy you mentioned who was sat across at the room at the bar.

“i don’t blame you” 

“what?” sungchan’s voice took you out of your trance, you looked over at him and smiled.

“he’s cute but you couldn’t pay me to get with one of your friends” he began to argue but stopped himself, he didn’t want you to get with one of them either.

“why do you question me so much about me not wanting to get with your friends?”

“they’re all pretty girls and well, you’re a man” sungchan shook his head and laughed. 

“yeah a man who doesn’t want to sleep around and end up with an std, plus my sexual interest is elsewhere” you cocked your head to the head and narrowed your eyes, about to question him once again but being stopped by your name being called from a few metres away.

sungchan would not admit to you that his sexual interest lay with you, sungchan thought you were insanely beautiful. irresistible. he would sell a piece of his soul just to be able to explore your body from head to toe, he’d worship every inch of you and make sure he makes you cum harder than anyone else ever has or ever will. sungchan adored you and had far too much respect for you to ever use you for sex or hurt you in anyway, so he kept his desires to himself, always finding it hilarious when you told him about your friends wishes to get close to him because he knew none of you were aware that whilst they were after him, he was laying in bed at night with his hand wrapped around his cock and you filling his brain. sungchan was certain he knows exactly how you’d moan, he’s pretty much perfected the fantasy in his head. 

each time you told him about one of your friends, sungchan entertained the thought in his head but it always faded quickly, he was too awestruck over you. sungchan felt pussy drunk without ever even fucking you. he was sure things would get better if he just had you once, but he never felt like it was something he should bring upm not wanting to cause any discomfort or awkwardness in your friendship. the last time one of your friends showed interest in sungchan and he shot them down he promised himself he’d at least try with the next one, just to see if he could get his mind to focus on something that wasn’t you, he didn’t think it would work but he was sure it wouldn’t hurt to try.

that’s when sungchan met yujin, that very night that you were questioning him about being celibate. sungchan wasn’t blind, yujin was gorgeous but she was suffering the same fate that the rest of your friends did, she wasn’t you. sungchan could have hit himself for thinking it right away without even attempting to get to know her, so he gave it a chance. later that night 

when you messaged sungchan saying yujin thought he was cute, he entertained it, told you it was okay for you to pass along his number to her and he actually spoke to her. he still found you creeping into his thoughts when he wrapped his hand around his cock that night, but that was just a work in progress, he was sure he would get past it once he spoke to her more. 

he didn’t.

despite speaking to yujin none stop, her always being the second contact in his messaging app; you being the first due to your chat being pinned, sungchan still spent every single night thinking about you. he’d end phone calls with yujin and lay in bed to fall asleep and begin to think about you, how pretty you must look laying in your own bed right now and how soaked you’d be if you were touching yourself too. sungchan would give anything to have even the smallest taste of you on his tongue. he was beginning to think he really was a perv.

it took sungchan around two weeks to ask yujin to go out with him, he couldn’t deny that he wasn’t concerned about going out with her and being completely uninterested in her due to his thoughts being preoccupied with you. yet he still went along with it, at least he knew not to be surprised if he was right about his concerns. unsurprisingly to sungchan, he had every right to be concerned.

when he walked into the bar, the same bar he first met yujin at, he spotted her right away. it almost pained him that she was sat in the booth the two of you were in a few weeks before. yujin looked beautiful, and sungchan made sure to tell her the moment he greeted her with a hand barely touching her waist and a small kiss against her cheek. 

sungchan listened to yujin attentively, allowing her to talk about what she wished whilst he nodded and added on his own comments every so often. he showed interest in her and made her feel as if he wanted to be there, the only thing was that whilst he physically was there, his mind was miles away. she mentioned your name a few times, smiling as she did, sungchan could tell she was fond of you. it made him feel guilty that he spent their entire date thinking of the way your shirt rode up your stomach earlier on during that day. 

when yujin’s fingers touched his arm, sungchan thought about the way your skin felt against his, when she leaned against him he thought about how you unintentionally bury your head in his neck and whine when you’re napping next to him. sungchan was truly mind fucked. maybe the only way he could get out of this rut was to confront it head on, and doing that would mean confessing to you that he’s spent the last year and a half fantasising about fucking you every night and how he can’t even look at another girl without imagining you beneath him instead. so he acted oblivious to the hints yujin was dropping about him returning to her house with her for the night bidded her goodbye, not leaving until she was safe inside of her uber home. once she was, sungchan made his way to yours.

sungchan could freely admit that he wasn’t the smartest person in the world, he had his slightly more dense moments and showing up at your home unannounced at 11pm on a friday night was definitely one of them. he hadn’t planned how what he was going to say to you, telling you he couldn’t date anyone because he was too obsessed with the idea of having sex with you seemed too forward, and completely inappropriate. 

he had no plan in his head when he knocked on your front door and even if he did, it would have slipped from his mind the moment you opened your door. 

“sungchan?”

“is that my shirt?” you looked down at the oversized shirt that adorned your body.

“yes” that factor made everything seem one hundred times worse for sungchan. you stepped aside to allow him to enter your house, shutting the door behind him once he stepped inside “what are you doing here so late? didn’t you have a date with yujin?”

“that’s why i’m here” you cocked your head to the side, locking your front door before walking into your living room, sungchan sat down beside you before turning to you. 

“are you okay?” you could feel the stress radiating off of him, he wasn’t as good at masking his emotions as he thought he was.

“i just wanted to talk to you abut something” sungchan felt his hands dampen, sweat forming as he clasped them together. you watched him intently, wondering what could be so important that hed show up at your house so late at night completely unannounced. sungchan shifted himself a few times, having already felt his cock pressing against his thigh due to the clothing you were wearing “i wanted to talk to you about me going on a date with your friend, and why i kept rejecting your other friends. you nodded, leaning back against the sofa. sungchan’s eyes darted to the way his shirt rode up your thigh, exposing more of your skin to him.

“finally”

“yujin is really sweet, i had a nice time with her tonight and i’ve enjoyed getting to know her and i do think maybe something could happen between the two of us but not right now”

“why not?” because i desperately want to have sex with you?

“because i feel like my, sexual intentions, are with someone else and i can’t seem to get them away from. that person” you hummed at him, leg crossing over the other as you looked at him. sungchan seemed to be in genuinely agony over this.

“have you had sex with them?”

“no”

“do they know you want to have sex with them?”

“no?”

“the only thing i can suggest is bringing it up to them, maybe if you talk to them and the two of you agree to it, you can just fuck it out of your system” you paused for a second, sungchan had spent a little too long staring down at his hands “who is it?” he looked at you, within seconds you could feel read the guilt on his face. you felt your eyes widen and sungchan panicked, quickly realising that you had caught on “you’re serious?”

“yeah” he breathed out, worried about how you would react.

“how the hell did that happen?”

“i don’t know it just, happened” sungchan felt his life flash before his eyes, he could have just ruined his entire friendship with you because he couldn’t stop himself from thinking with his dick “please don’t hate me i know it’s stupid and i know i shouldn’t think those things about you but it just happened and i promise i didn’t mean for it to”

“i don’t hate you” you laughed at the worry in his voice, narrowing your eyes at him “it just took me by surprise i never expected you to want to fuck me sungchan, we’ve known eachother for so long it never crossed my mind” he parted his lips to speak but stopped himself when you continued “i’m not against the idea of having sex with you sungchan, but i don’t think we should do it tonight” sungchan felt his cock throb beneath his briefs, he gulped again “i need time to prepare at least, let me sit on it for a few days and i’ll get back to you, okay?”

“take as long as you need” he breathed out.

“do you want to stay over? it’s getting late and i don’t mind”

“i should head home, i think i’ll sleep better there tonight” there was an uncomfortable look on his face as he stood up, you held back a laugh as you realised why he was acting so awkward. you opted against saying anything, to him, not wanting him to feel worse than he already did. sungchan left your home already knowing what he was going to do the moment he reached his house and he was grateful that it wasn’t too far away, the way his cock was throbbing in his pants was becoming almost painful to deal with. sungchan unapologetically jerked off before bed that night, he took a shower the moment he got home and found his hand wrapped around leaking cock immediately. he tugged at himself his other hand resting flat against the wall as the hot water ran over his body, he groaned as he brought himself closer to the edge. his eyes shut as images of you filled his mind, he would’ve given anything to take you in his shirt, to bend you over your kitchen counter and fuck you whilst you desperately cried out his name and told him how good he felt inside of you. he wanted to be the reason you’d be shaking and crying as you came and he was determined to be. 

the following few days were a daze for sungchan, he knew you technically hadn’t said yes yet and he would respect you if you decided that you didn’t want to do it. but he was in agony waiting for your response, he didn’t bring it up to you, he waited for you to bring it up to him and he almost wet himself the moment you messaged him about it.

you can come over if you want tonight, we can talk about it and set some ground rules. i also brought something pretty to wear ehe.

sungchan was incredibly quick to respond, all shame left his body the moment he saw your message. you audibly laughed to yourself at how quickly you received his response, your fingers locking your phone as you dropped it beside your body.

you had found the past few days to be enlightening for you, your feelings toward sungchan shifted slightly the more you thought about him. prior to the conversation you had with sungchan, you hadn’t thought much about him physically. he was incredibly handsome, you’d experienced first hand watching him grow into his features and develop his physical maturity, you’d spent countless days watching him work out and even more days watching him do stupid shit that he always gets embarrassed over. your relationship with sungchan was something you cherished and you couldn’t deny your worries that came with the possibility of ruining that.

yet, you continued to entertain the thought of falling into bed with him. the more you thought about it, the more you craved to experience it, even if it did only happen once. sungchan seemed desperate to have you, the fact he couldn’t look at another girl in that way without thinking about you instead left a taste in your mouth. you found yourself unfathomably horny over the fact he was so set on you, you could barely imagine the amount of times he must’ve gotten off to you and that made it worse for you. it wasn’t kind of you to leave him sitting on it for a few days, considering you made your decision rather quickly, but you wanted to wait until you were completely sure and at this point you were sure that you were. 

the wait for sungchan to turn up to your home later into the night felt longer that needed, once he messaged you saying he was on his way you were sat on your sofa, feet tapping against the floor and your fingers fiddling with one another. you weren’t sure why you had become so nervous to see him, but your heart seemingly fell to your stomach the moment he knocked on your front door. 

you smiled at him as you opened the door, sungchan instantly took in the fact you were wearing his shirt again. he wondered how the last few days were for you, if you’d laid down and touched yourself whilst wearing it. sungchan was embarrassingly worked up without even stepping foot into your house. you led him to your bedroom rather than your living room, it was a place sungchan had been in countless times before, he’d fallen asleep in your bed just as many times as he’d fallen asleep in hs own, but something about it was more nerve inducing this time around. he watched as you sat on the edge of your bed, inviting him to sit beside you. he closed your bedroom door behind him and ran his hand through his hair before taking a seat next to you. 

“i thought about it really hard over the past few days because i really don’t want this to cause anything bad in our friendship and i’d hate for things to be weird between us” sungchan took in the fact you seemed just as nervous as he was, your eyes trained solely on your fingers that sat in your lap “but ultimately i decided i think it would be okay for the two of us to, well, have sex. but i want to set down some rules just so theres no awkwardness or anything” sungchan nodded as you spoke, smiling gently to you when you finally looked up at him.

“i had a few things too, but you can go first”

“honestly my main rule is that there has to be protection involved but i kind of forgot to tell you that so i brought some condoms earlier today”

“i brought some with me” 

“the other ones i had was that we shouldn’t kiss, we shouldn’t use each others names and i don’t think we should make eye contact” sungchan had to agree, especially with the latter. he’d spent far too long imagining how you’d look whilst taking his cock and he feared actually seeing your face when you do would destroy him as a person, inside and out “is there anything you’d like to add?”

“there is something, but it’s not really a rule?” you looked at him, curiosity in your eyes.

“what is it?” sungchan tried to ignore how gentle your tone was as you spoke to him. the softness of your voice seemed almost sick in the context the two of you were in.

“the only concern i really have is that” he paused, unsure on how to even begin to phrase his worries “i’m on the bigger side and i don’t want to accidentally hurt you because it doesn’t, fit” your eyes widened as he spoke, your blood running cold as you took in his words. you gulped before you spoke, shifting a little due to the sudden throb that came from your clit.

“show me” 

“right now?” you nodded at him, genuinely wanting to see. you held his arm and pushed him gently so he could stand up, you pulled him to stand in front of you before looking up at him.

“can i?” asking softly if you could see it for yourself, sungchan let out a shaky breath as he nodded and watched you. you focused on what was in front of you, your fingers pushing under the waistband of his pants. you were slow to push them down his legs, his briefs dragging down with them. he watched as your eyes widened at the sight of his cock springing out, your lips parting as his tip leaked. your hands let his pants fall to his ankles, fingers lifting up his shirt so you could see him properly. he replaced your hand, holding his shirt up as you focused on his cock. 

sungchan had never felt as vulnerable as he did in that moment, your face so close to his cock, your eyes laced with interest whilst your thighs pressed against each other. he wished he could know what was going on in your head, he wanted nothing more than to know exactly what you were thinking.

“can i touch you sungchan?” the last thing in this world that sungchan trusted was his voice, he had to hold back an almost pathetic whimper at your question, instead he breathed out a yes. he didn’t take his eyes off of what you were doing, when your hand reached out to wrap around his cock sungchan felt his knees buckle from under him. you slowly dragged your hand from the base up to the head of his cock, your thumb brushing over his tip where his precum seeped out of before you pushed your hand back down his cock. his precum caused him to become slicker, your hand moving more freely over his cock because of it.

“you’re right you’re so big” sungchan groaned, he physically couldn’t hold himself back from doing so. hearing you say something so crude to him, something he had basically dreamt of at that point broke down a piece of self control inside of him. you squeezed your hand tighter around his cock, without thinking too much about it in the moment you leant forward and let your tongue brush across his tip. sungchan’s knuckles had already began to turn white at that point, his hands balled into fists as his body betrayed him. more precum seeped from him the more you touched him, he felt useless when he realised just how much he was struggling to stand up.

things weren’t going as smooth for you either, hearing him express concerns over having a big cock only caused your panties to dampen and seeing it for yourself, how it weighed itself down because of its weight made the throb of your cunt worse. your mouthed watered when you took him into your hand and felt how heavy he was, you craved to taste him on your tongue just once and he didn’t disappoint. he melted against your tongue and the way he groaned almost caused you to whimper in return. 

“i’ll cum so fucking fast if you suck me off” sungchan’s confession caused you to look up at him, that was a mistake on sungchan’s part. your wide eyes and parted lips only caused him pain, the hand you had around his cock didn’t help that at all either. there was still part of you that wanted to tease him for how he was acting but you held yourself back, an overwhelming part of you being too dumbfound to even attempt to anyway. you released his cock from your grip, doing so by slowly dragging it back to the top and letting it slip off of him, sungchan took in a shaky deep breath when you done so. 

you watched as he pulled his shirt over his head, your eyes trained on his muscles as he done so. sungchan’s body was something he took pride in and you were incredibly proud of him for it, but this was the first time you had looked at him and wanted to feel him pressed against you. it was almost too easy to imagine the way his abs would flex against your back as he took you from behind or how his arms would flex as he fucked you against the wall. it pained you to think just how good he would feel inside of you. sungchan being completely bare in front of you felt like a fever dream, you almost felt bad for the fact you had planned to not be completely naked. yet your guilt turned to embarrassment when you stood up. somehow the two of you had swapped positions, sungchan had sat on the edge of your bed once you stood up, his bare body on show to you as you shyly stood in front of him. “i’m not completely naked under this, i think i mentioned it in the text”

“you said you brought something pretty to wear” sungchan remembered, how could he forget? he couldn’t wait to see what you had worn underneath his shirt but he also couldn’t help but notice the way your fingers fiddled with the hem of the shirt and your breathing became shaky “are you okay?”

“yeah it just feels a little embarrassing now” you laughed to yourself, lifting your head to look at sungchan. despite the fact his cock was out, literally, there was no awkwardness in the room and that was something you were both grateful for. there was a small smile on sungchan’s face, one you could spot from a mile away “don’t you dare tease me right now i just had your cock in my mouth” sungchan breathed out a laugh, finding comfort in the fact you were still yourself.

“if it helps you feel better, i can’t wait to see what you brought to wear, i already know it’ll make me want to fuck you ever more” you gulped at his words, finally letting yourself bring his shirt over your head. you avoided his eyes for multiple reasons once his shirt hit the floor. sungchan felt his cock throb just at the sight of you “you always looked so pretty in baby blue”

“i remember you saying” you stepped toward him, your eyes finally falling to his face as you watched him take you in.

“i get to fuck you in this?” sungchan groaned without meaning to, his eyes not leaving the thin, see through fabric of the lingerie that stuck to your body. his eyes settled on your cleavage, the material keeping nothing covered as your nipples poked through it. he reached his hands out to grab your hips, wanting to feel your skin under his touch “you look so good” he groaned again, sungchan had never experienced cumming untouched before but if anyone was to do it to him he knew it would be you. 

he let his hand fall to your thigh, his fingers tracing your bare skin as he brought them closer to your core. he could feel how hot you were, the lightest touches against your lace clad core let him feel how drenched you already were. your hands fell to his shoulders, your fingers pressing into his muscles.

“i uh, prepped myself before you came over” sungchan swallowed hard hearing you say that, you did touch yourself whilst wearing his shirt. he couldn’t help but wonder if you used your fingers or if you used a toy, maybe a vibrator to work yourself up. he couldn’t bring himself to think of you fucking yourself with a dildo to the thought of him. 

“because of the no eye contact thing” sungchan started, his fingers still softly dancing over your core. his eyes met yours and it almost felt as if he was defying the rule already “do you want it from behind” you nodded, breathing out a shaky please as he touched you. “you’ll tell me if it’s too much or if it hurts, right?”

“of course” his concern warmed your heart, sungchan desperately wanted to feel your walls trap his cock inside of you but he care more about your wellbeing to want to bring pain to you just to get that. he could never hurt you. 

after a brief moment you stood back, watching as he stood up before you crawled onto the bed. you didn’t have it in you to look at him, instead your settled yourself with your head resting against your pillow and your arms hooked under neath it, holding it in your arms as you laid on your stomach. sungchan dug into his backpack for his pack of condoms, throwing them onto your bedside table after taking one out. he tried not to think too much as he moved back toward your bed, he settled himself on his knees before he touched your skin. he helped you lift your ass into the air, your knees bent and pressed into your mattress as your arched your back. he knelt up and pressed against your back lightly, causing you to arch it a little more before he moved back to the condom in his hand.

the wrapped found itself discarded onto your bedroom floor as he held the condom, he was careful to roll it onto him, breathing heavily as his hand brushed over his cock. he ran his hand over himself a few times before he let go, moving to focus on you. sungchan was careful to push aside the thin fabric of your lingerie, your cunt being exposed to him made his mouth water. he had to restrain himself from pressing his face against you and having you fill every corner of his mouth. he knew there were more pressing matters too attend to, it didn’t help that he could see how wet you were, your slick cunt was so inviting to him. he sighed when he wrapped his hand around his cock, he had to close his eyes when he pressed his tip against your clit. your body jumped and you let out a quiet whimper into the pillow.

“are you ready?” he spoke softly to you, not moving until he heard an audible answer.

“im ready” sungchan squeezed your thigh with his free hand as he guided himself down your slit, the already slick condom seeming to be impossibly soaked by now. 

sungchan had to suck in a deep breath when he felt your hole with the head of his cock, he swallowed and stared down at where you two were about to meet as he slowly eased himself into you. he heard you gasp and he paused once the tip of his cock was inside of you, he had to dig his fingers into your hips just to ground himself for a few moments. when he pushed himself deeper into you he felt as if he was going to explode, he stilled his hips and moaned without meaning to. he had to bite back more sounds before he could speak to you.

“does it feel okay?” his voice was shaky, your walls seemed to tighten around him as he spoke to you. it took a few moments for you to respond.

“you feel so fucking good sungchan” 

not saying each other’s names? you broke that rule a lot faster than you had expected.

your voice was nothing but a broken moan, your cunt pulling him further into you “i wanna feel all of you, i can take it” sungchan hadn’t expected you to become so desperate, he never expected to hear you begging to take all of him. he knew the idea of him lasting long was far gone out of the window by now.

he gave you what you wanted, easing the rest of himself into you before stilling again, wanting to be sure you could handle it before he pulled out and thrusted slowly back into you. as he built up his pace, he dropped his fingers underneath your body and attached them to your clit. his thrusts becoming a little harder and more frequently as he heard you whine into your pillow. 

sungchan hated the fact you were trying to keep yourself quiet, he craved to hear each and ever depraved moan that was threatening to leave you as he fucked you. you drove him insane and he was determined to have you crying out for him. so he sped his fingers up on your clit, he leaned closer to your body and angled his hips so he could reach deeper inside of you. the first cry from your lips had sungchan biting back a whine, the way you sounded shot through his body and went straight to his cock. he held your hips tighter as he pulled your ass back against him, needing to hear it again and again.

but sungchan needed more. he needed to see you, he needed to watch your pretty face contort as you took him deep inside of you and let him explore depths of you that no one ever had before. so despite his better judgement he leaned over your body, his chest pressing against your back as he took your hair in his hand and pressed the side of your head against your pillow, you whimpered at the sudden roughness of his action,s how his demeanour seemed to shift from his previous gentle one.

“let me see you” he spoke deeply into your ear, his hips still bucking against yours “need to see your pretty face when you cum” your only response was your eyes shutting and your lips letting out a desperate please. begging was something sungchan realised you done a lot of, whether you meant to or not. he wasn’t going to complain, but he knew it was something he needed to hear more of.

pulling out of you had you both whimpering for a moment, both of you feeling empty and bare as he turned you over so you were laying on your back. your eyes were dazed as you looked at him, your chest rising heavily as you looked up at him.

no eye contact? sungchan almost laughed as he broke your rule, he needed to see you and he couldn’t stop himself from letting that happen.

sungchan was desperate to get back inside of you, he hooked his hand around the crotch of your panties and tore them off of you before he held your thighs apart. he found your gasp to be amusing as he broke them, not giving you time to say anything about it before he was sinking back into your heat. he let his head fall back as you sucked him back in, your mouth dried up as you watched his abs tense. you clenched a little tighter around him whilst looking at him, unable to fathom just how attractive he was. 

when sungchan looked down at you again he was a wreck, his hips setting a pace that had both of your minds free of any thought at all. he couldn’t help but fuck you the way that he did, rough, deep thrusts that had your eyes rolling back and your voice breaking. eventually he leaned down, his forearms resting either side of your head as he fucked into you. he watched your face as you took him deeper into your cunt, he watched the way you struggled to keep your eyes open and how your lips couldn’t shut from how much you were crying out for him. he felt as if he was blessed being able to see you like this, you looked and sounded far better than he had ever imagined and he knew those things would be etched into his mind forever.

his orgasm chased him rapidly, he ended up burying his head in your neck, moaning into your skin when he felt your nails dig into his back. you breathed out his name followed by more and more pleads, all of it together left sungchan bucking his hips against yours in a rushed and uncontrolled way. both of you chasing your orgasms because of the way that it felt. he had never had sex in such a desperate way before and he loved it, he became obsessed with how pathetically needy you were for him too and he knew that his orgasm would hit even harder because of it.

sungchan barely lifted his body off of yours, his hand pushing between the two of you so his fingers could find your clit. him finishing was great but he had to make you cum, he needed to do it. so he did, his fingers rubbed your clit in a sloppy manner but it done everything for you when it was combined with his thrusts into you, your body withered under him as you babbled about being close and needing to cum, the moment he felt you still under him and cry out his name again he knew he had brought you to where you needed to be. he followed suit barely moments after. your name falling from his lips in a pathetic whine as he came inside of the condom. 

it took both of you a few moments to even attempt to regain your breaths, your bodies stuck to one another until he finally pulled out of you and laid beside you, he instinctively pulled you against him.

“you can stay the night” you spoke, your head resting against his chest, a sleepy tone in your voice as you listened to his heart beat. your fingers laced through his as they sat against his stomach, your voice breaking the silence again as you spoke before he could say anything “please stay the night” sungchan couldn’t ignore how weak you sounded, he simply wrapped his arm tighter around your waist and kept you close to him, lips pressing against your head.

“i’m not going anywhere”.

the following few days with sungchan seemed as normal as ever, despite the fact you were both silently suffering over one another, you both kept it to yourselves. you spoke normally, neither of you bringing up what had occurred that night. sungchan had already accepted the fact having sex with you didn’t fix his problem, it only made it worse. he thought the no eye contact rule was the most important one you laid out but it seemed to be the easiest to break, he shouldn’t have broken it. all he was stuck with was the image of you laying under him, taking his cock with your eyes squeezed shut and your lips parted as the sweetest sounds sungchan had ever heard fell from them, he swore he could still feel your nails digging into his skin as you cried about being close. 

yet, he knew he had to try. maybe seeing yujin again would help him, he knew he was being a little more than just delusional by assuming it but he didn’t see the harm in trying. he never told you about the fact he was going over to her home that night, in fact he wasn’t even aware that yujin told you. he wasn’t sure why he had kept it from you, he had no real reason to but something inside of him felt guilty over it.

yujin had told you as soon as sungchan messaged her, an almost overexcited text from her about him asking to come over later that night appeared on your phone screen and you responded to her with just as much excitement only to close your phone as your felt your heart sink. having sex with sungchan was probably the worst idea you could have ever had, but you didn’t regret it. you craved for it to happen again, to fall into bed with him and feel him rock into you over and over again whilst telling you how perfect you were. it was selfish to think of him in that light, to want him all for yourself after sending him to your friend. the best thing you could do was preoccupy yourself for the night to try to ignore the fact it was likely that he’d have her the way he had you only a few nights prior, shaking the thought out of your head was agony but you tried your best. 

it only came rushing back to you when you heard a rushed knock at your door, it was a little past 10pm and you knew there was only one person who would randomly show up at your door so late at night. you knew the chances of sungchan standing there was low but you couldn’t help but hope it was him. looking through the small peephole in your door felt like the best thing to do, not wanting to open the door to just anyone. once you caught sight of sungchan you felt your body freeze, it took a few seconds for you to let him in, your fingers fiddling with the lock to try and get it to open. 

neither of you said a word as you opened the door, it only took a second for sungchan to step inside of your house, close the door and have you pressed against the wall. he kissed you for the first time. 

no kissing? rule broken.

his arms wrapping around your waist as he held you between himself and the wall. your arms instantly wrapped around his neck as you accepted him, fingers pushing into his hair.

“i need you so fucking bad” he only broke the kiss for a moment, speaking quickly as he held you impossibly tighter against him. 

“please” your plea was nothing but a broken whimper. you let him lead you to your bedroom and lay you down, letting him strip you off and do what he had been dreaming of all day. it almost overwhelmed you to think that’s how you ended up in the position you two were in, his bare cock stretching out your walls as you struggle to rock against him. 

protection? the final rule had broken far too quickly and neither of you were apologetic about it.

“sungchan please i’m so close” you whimpered, his fingers digging harder into your hips as 

you leaned down, your chest pressed against his as your eyes shut. you felt his knees lift beneath you as he bucked his hips up against yours, you cried out as his arms wrapped around your waist. your hands landed either side of his head on your bed, eyes struggling to open and focus on him. sungchan didn’t give you time to before he leant up to kiss you, his head falling back against the bed, pulling you down with him whilst catching your lips with his. you moaned into the kiss, your walls squeezing his cock tightly as you took him over and over again. 

there was a faint buzzing sound coming from sungchan’s phone on your nightstand, the lit screen not being close to enough to pull the two of you away from each other. 

you laid against sungchan’s chest, your eyes closing once again as you felt his fingers slowly run up and down your back. you found yourself cuddling closer into him, eyes opening to see his adam’s apple bobbing as he gulped. his cock was still nestled inside of you as you both laid there, nothing but deep breaths could be heard in the room until you heard your phone ding, a text message coming through. sungchan’s arms tightened around you as you tried to lift yourself up, he kept you pressed against his chest as he lifted himself to sit up instead, the two of your bodies still connected. 

he picked up your phone and handed it to you, your head resting against his shoulder as he took your phone from him and unlocked it to read the messages on your lock screen. your eyes scanned the messages from yujin, sungchan’s fingers still rubbing your skin as you took in the words. her messages began as curiosity, asking if you knew where sungchan was because he’d left her house abruptly, they changed to concern as she worried if something had happened to cause him to rush off but they seemed to end in anger, her tone changing as she realised he may just not wanted to be with her.

he didn’t stand me up, he left half way through and i think that’s worse lol, i know he’s your best friend but he can go fuck himself, stupid prick. you winced as you read it, sungchan only sighed out an apology into your hair.

“how do i tell her i’m not interested?” he peaked over at his phone to see the missed call notification on his screen. you placed your phone back down and lifted yourself up to look at him, fingers digging into his shoulders as you whimpered when his cock moved inside of you. you could only smile lightly at sungchan, his gentle eyes focused on your face as he seemed genuinely apologetic for causing such an awkward situation between you and your friend.

“you’re not?” sungchan breathed out a laugh, fingers creeping a little higher up your skin. he shook his head “i don’t want her to be upset”

“do you want me to date her?” you narrowed your eyes at him for a moment.

“of course not” he leaned forward, his lips pressing softly against your skin, only touching the corner of yours. he dropped his hands down to your ass, pulling you closer against him as he squeezed it. a moan slipped from you as you moved on his cock again, nails pressing into his skin. his voice was deep as he spoke to you, a shaky undertone taking ahold of it.

“then focus on me instead, we can sort her out later”.

[scoobydoodean]

dean would be the most dedicated boyfriend/husband & i hate the way people talk about him like he’s a player who could “never settle down”.. please he just needs a moment of affection 🥲

People love to rewrite literally every single fucking thing that happened with the Braedens into various made up stories passed on as fact, but when Dean was with the Braedens, he treated Ben like a son. He taught him how to work on cars. He cooked Lisa and Ben breakfast every morning. He contributed to the household. They specifically wrote a scene where a pretty waitress passed her number to Dean while he was out with a neighbor and Dean disposed of it without a second thought (6.01). He didn't leave the Braedens so he could go fuck someone else. He left because his presence put Lisa and Ben in danger and then soulless Sam (who had ulterior motives) convinced him he was going to ruin their lives and probably get them murdered and his PTSD went haywire and 6.01, 6.02, 6.05, and finally 6.21 reinforced all his fears about them being hurt because of The Curse Of Loving Dean Winchester, and it left him feeling so upset and scared of them being hurt that he thought it was better for their safety if he cut ties.

Long before all that, Dean was so in love with Cassie that he told her about hunting after just a couple of months and then he was heartbroken when she rejected him and he was willing to be vulnerable enough to tell her so directly. The idea of Dean as some kind of suave playboy who could never settle down because he likes to fuck and suck too much is just ???? Like quite arguably, Dean seeks out casual sex as a substitute for the affection he wishes he could share with a life partner, but liking sex and having casual hookups isn't a crime and doesn't preclude a person from being interested in a long-term relationship and/or a stable home (something we know Dean was actively aching for at various points from episodes like 1.13, 2.20, 3.10, 5.12, 5.17). It was that he felt he couldn't have those things because of the circumstances of his life, and the narrative repeatedly reinforced that belief, and Dean eventually settled into peace with the fact that he has a family anyway despite everything!! It just isn't a traditional family. And he also gets a stable home and his own room!!! It's just underground and warded so he feels safe and cosy. People not recognizing that Dean DOES have a family and a home carry the same confusion as John in 14.13 (who also—btw—always knew that Dean wanted a home THE MOST).

JOHN My fight. It was supposed to end with me, with Yellow Eyes. But now you – you are a grown man, and I am incredibly proud of you. I guess that I had hoped, eventually, you would… get yourself a normal life, a peaceful life, a family. DEAN I have a family.

HE HAS A FAMILY. It just isn't the traditional family!!! And Dean is very loyal to that family and he takes care of that family he is the hearth of the house!!!

[kjupchurch-xx]

Conflicting Feelings Part Four

I smirked, "Toxic in a sexy way, huh?" I teased.

He bit his lip, "You don't think so, love?" He asked, trying to keep his face as serious as possible. 

I looked at him, in the bed beside me, only wearing his Calvin Klein boxer briefs, my hand still resting on his chest. "I happen to think you're sexy in other ways." 

He tilted his head at me, "Oh?" He asked curiously, raising his brow in my direction. 

I nodded enthusiastically, "I think you're really sexy when you make me food." I said sarcastically.

He giggled, "That's not where I thought this was going." 

I propped myself up on my elbows beside him, "Where exactly did you think this was going?" 

He chuckled, "You really want to play innocent, don't you?" He asking jokingly.

I smirked, "Would it really be that fun if I didn't?" I said while tapping my chin causing him to laugh. 

He glanced at my cleavage before glancing back up to face me, "You're going to act like you didn't purposely wear that top?" 

I shook my head, "This wasn't for you. I packed light." I said matter of factly causing him to snicker. 

He glanced over to the side of the dresser noticing that I did in fact not pack light, nor had I ever for literally anything and laughed, "You're something else." He said, bringing my hand up and kissing my knuckles lightly. 

His phone began buzzing again, he grabbed it, answering it on speaker phone. Ryan's voice immediately filled the room, "YOU DIRTY DOG!" He shouted trying to contain his laughter causing Hugh and I to look at each other and begin dying laughing. 

"I don't know what you're talking about, mate." Hugh said bluntly. 

"You don't know what I'm talking about mate, my fucking ass, Jackman!" Ryan yelled, in an awful attempt at an Australian accent. 

"Blake said she was busy." Hugh snickered back.

Ryan failed at containing his laughter, "I'm not mad at you. Get your dick sucked and call me later. Tell her I said g'day." 

"Bye, Ryan." I said giggling, cutting Hugh off as he went to speak before ending the call. 

I grabbed my own phone, noticing my followers tripling as I noticed he tagged me in his post on his Instagram. He pushed at my hand that was holding my phone, putting on his best pouty face, "Put your phone down and kiss me." 

I giggled, "Will you stop making that god awful face if I do?" I said while sitting my phone on the bedside table. 

He shrugged, "It depends on how good of a kisser you are." He joked, making the pouty face more dramatic. 

I playfully rolled my eyes, "I hate you. Come here." I said as I pulled him over towards me, locking my lips on his as I grabbed both sides of his face, holding it in place. 

His hands found their way to my hips as he pulled me on top of him, continuing to kiss me as I sat on his hips. He slowly removed his lips from mine, "You're an incredible kisser." He said before locking his lips back on mine as I deepened the kiss. I could feel his excitement beneath me growing, but everything suddenly came to an end as my phone began ringing. 

I moaned annoyingly, reaching over to grab it. My mouth dropped as I saw the name "Debbora-Lee" pop up on my phone. This was about to get interesting... "Who is it? What's wrong, love?" Hugh asked. 

I turned my phone around for him to see, "Oh, fuck. Just don't answer it." He said sternly.

Why should I not answer it? Is she mad about the Instagram post? Was she not just sitting with another man on her own Instagram? I decided to ignore Hugh's wishes and answer, bracing myself for impact. Deb never had an issue with me. She had her suspicions, but she could be a jealous person from time to time. For example - He was never allowed to make a movie with Angelina Jolie. 

"Hello?" I answered, trying to sound as nice and normal as possible. I knew she'd seen the picture. It was making waves online. 

She wasn't having it. "What do you think you're doing?" She asked with a hint of attitude in her voice.

I sighed, "What are you referring to, Debbora-Lee? I'm sitting in bed, at my hotel room." 

Hugh looked at me, clearly annoyed I didn't listen and answered the phone. She began raising her voice at me, "Yeah? In bed with my husband?!" 

I chuckled, "So we're just going to act like you're not also with someone?" I asked, amusement dripping from my voice. 

"That is my friend! Nothing more! You've been in love with my husband for years! Don't play stupid!" She yelled. 

I rolled my eyes, "First off, why in the fuck are you calling me? Maybe if you actually acted like you gave a shit about your husband, he wouldn't have confided in me so much. But where were you? You obviously were too busy when his dad died, which ended in me having to go to England to deal with shit you should've been dealing with! But where the fuck were you?!" 

She sat silenced.  "I mean fuck, you told Hugh it was the dogs. You told me it was the kids. Whose dick were you too busy riding? I mean seriously. Don't act so fucking innocent, Debbora. I should've ripped your ass in half in England, but your husband saved your ass." I spat back. 

She chuckled, "You don't know what you're talking about, you dumb bitch!"

Hugh finally spoke up, cutting us both off, "Okay, let's stop. Deb, she did nothing wrong. If you're out living your life, I'm going to live mine. What do you want from me? Do you expect me to sit and beg for you to come back home?" He asked, a bit annoyed and feeling somewhat defeated. 

She no longer wanted him, but she didn't want him to want others. She expected him to bend over backwards for her like he'd had for 27 years. 

Deb's voice softened, "No Hugh, I don't. I'm just pissed you're with her. She's spent years around our family and now she's your little girlfriend. Do you not realize she isn't but two years older than our son?"

"She's not my little girlfriend, Deb." He said nonchalantly. 

So all of the last 24 hours have been what exactly? A hot young rebound? His words shook me to my core. He noticed and told Deb they would speak later and to not call me anymore. As he hung up my phone, he looked over at me, "Listen-"

I cut him off, putting my hand over is mouth. "I'm good. We're friends, right? Friends don't sleep in other friend's beds, so feel free to find your way to the sofa or get your own room. Either way, I'm going to sleep." I said coldly. 

"Babe-" He tried to interject, grabbing my arm. 

I jerked it away, "I'm done talking about this. Look, I'm tired. I want to go to sleep. I don't want to hear anything else." I said, raising my voice. 

"Will you please just fucking listen to me?" He said, becoming annoyed. 

I shook my head, "There's nothing to listen to. Get the fuck out of my bed and let me go to sleep. I'm literally begging you at this point."  I got up, grabbing the blanket, "Fuck it. I'll go to sleep on the sofa." 

He grabbed my arm again, getting up from the bed, blocking me. "Why are you acting like this?" He asked. 

I shrugged, "I don't know, Hugh. But I'm getting really fucking tired of cleaning up your and her bullshit. I'm tired of always running to fucking fix you after she's hurt your feelings for the millionth fucking time all to watch you fall right back into her and her magical vagina or whatever the fuck she has that keeps you running back." 

He rolled his eyes, "I never said I was going back to her. I told her we'd talk later to end the conversation." 

I chuckled dryly, "Why? So you could spend more time with me? I'm not your girlfriend, remember? I'm just some sleazy ass rebound so you can get your dick wet for the first time in a year. Do not play me like I'm fucking stupid!" I screamed as I tried to get past him. 

He grabbed my hands tightly, "I'm not trying to play you like you're stupid, love. You're not a rebound. If you were a rebound, I would've had a go at you last night or I would've tried to make a move when we were alone in England in bed together." 

I stood, looking everywhere but him as he continued, "You are my best friend. I mean motherfucker, you've watched me cry like a bloody baby. I would never do anything to hurt you, love. This is why I told you to ignore her when she rang you. You get so in your head and you let others get into your head. Had she not rang, would you be acting like this?" 

I slowly shook my head, still refusing to look at him, "No, I'm just tired of this shit."

He sighed, "Can I hug you?" 

I nodded, "I told you, I'm yours. The only reason I didn't tell her that was because I was tired of hearing her bullshit. I wanted off the phone, I wanted you off the phone. You said we should lay low for a bit, so no, I was not going to tell her about this." 

I sighed, "You're not wrong. I mean, I understand why. I guess I'm just scared of getting hurt." I said, looking up to face him as he pulled me into a hug. 

He stroked my hair, "Love, I wouldn't ever hurt you. You know I wouldn't. Stop letting her get into your head. She's bitter and probably hurt. I don't think she ever truly thought I'd move on. And you know how she is, you know she's going to say whatever it takes to get under your skin." 

He wasn't wrong. I've known them for years. If she's mad, everyone knows it and she makes sure of it. Even if he has to completely pull something out of her ass just to upset someone, she doesn't hesitate. 

He looked at me as I looked up to him, "Please come back to bed with me." He asked, almost pleading with me. 

I gave him a half-smile, "Fine..." I walked back towards the bed, pulling his arm to come with me as we collapsed beside one another. I climbed back on top of him, "Now, where were we?" I asked, smirking. 

He giggled, "Were you not just accusing me of using you as a rebound and now you're on top of me?" 

I shrugged, "I don't know. Wasn't me. Must've been Patricia." I said channeling my inner Split. If you've never seen Split, it's the dude with multiple personalities. Patricia being one. 

He laughed, "Yeah? Let's bring the regular version out please. Patricia's depressing." He joked. 

"Really? Damn, I guess I know who to not call when I'm having a bad day." I said sarcastically. 

He smirked, "Oh, stop it." He said as he leaned upwards kissing me. "I thought you were going to bed." He said.

I leaned down to whisper in his ear, "I was, but I'm just going to be honest, I felt your boner earlier and I'm kinda curious." 

He erupted in laughter, blushing, "Really?" 

I nodded, "Hugh, Huge, whatever your name is. I can see why. 100%." I tried to keep my face straight but was failing. 

He chuckled, "You know, I started that rumor. So do with that information what you will." 

I snickered, "Can I at least see it?" 

He looked at me wide eyed, "Are you-are you seriously asking me this right now?" He tried to stop chuckling as he began turning red. 

I shrugged, "One little peak."

He laughed, "Can you go to bed?" 

I smirked, "I'll show you mine if you show me yours." 

He playfully pushed me off of him, "What are you? 5?" 

I bit my bottom lip, "6 actually, now can I please see your penis?" 

He threw a pillow at me, "Not when you say it like that, you absolutely cannot." 

I fake pouted, "I offered to show you mine." 

He shook his head, "I don't think I want to see your penis." 

"Goodnight Hugh, I do not have a penis, thank you very much. Except the one in my suitcase. But I would've shown you something you would've really liked and now that's not happening." I said, while laughing, losing whatever composure I was holding onto. 

I rolled over with my back facing him. I felt him snake his arms around me, trailing light kisses down my exposed neck to my shoulder. 

"Are you sure you want to do this? Just 15 minutes ago you thought you were my rebound. I don't want you to get that idea." His voice now serious while stopping the kisses. 

I sighed, "I know I'm not a rebound for you. I was just hurt and she pissed me off."

 He softly kissed my shoulder, "Okay, but if at any point, you want to stop or if you start feeling that way, I want you to tell me..." He said reassuringly. 

I nodded, "I will. Promise." 

[alexander-arcturus-black-lupin]

I need some Theodore nott or Mattheo riddle x Gryffindor fem! Reader fluff and maybe soft smut and she’s reading in his lap while he’s leaning against the bedpost reading with her holding the book and Turing the pages while she keeps reading it and it’s super smutty and she just traces his arm veins while they read (and if you decide to make it smutty pls make the reader LOVE LOVE LOVE his hands, abs, arm viens-) can it be a longer fic?

Theodoreee's scenario

Imma see what I can do about the length babes dw about it

You avoided Theodore's eyes because you didn't trust yourself. And for good the reason. Not only did his voice hold a power over you...so did his arms. You were laying in his arms reading The Potrait of Dorian Gray with him. It was an interesting book. If only you could concentrate.

His long fingers gripped the book, a singular one Flipping the page ever so often, his veins on show. You sucked in a deep breath as you tried to focus away from him. You kept reading the same line over and over again.

Your mind however disagreed with the idea of ignoring him, flashing you with images of his arms doing questionable things. Your face flushed slightly as you curled in more into your self.

Theodore Nott was bored out of his mind, The potrait of Dorian Grey was something he'd read a million times. You began to trace his arms bringing his attention to you.

Glancing over at you a small smile light up his face. He notice the light pink on your cheeks, how your eyes were clearly unfocused, how your legs seemed to press together closer than normal.

"What's on your mind love," he had an educated guess but wanted to hear it from you. You didn't respond which only feuled his guess. But he needed to test the theory.

You were incredibly zoned out that you didn't hear him. Theodore smirked and started his attack. One hand held the book and the other hand snaked around your waist. Theodore Nott knew what was going through your mind and he planned to replicate just that.

He flipped a page one handed as his other hand fumbled which your thin shirt. He swore when he first saw you come in, your breasts greeted him first.

He'd been itching to take it off you ever since. He innocently slid his hand up you stomach slowly. You were still calm as having not noticed. He tested the waters and put the book down. You were too zoned out to care.

He wanted to laugh at that but kept calm. Later

He continued his quiet trek up to your breasts he didn't touch them just yet instead his now freed hand journeyed south towards your shorts. He slid past the elastic barrier.

He knew it.

Your cunt was warm and soaking wet, his index finger made contact sending shocks up your spine effectively waking you up. You lurched sending your breast into Teddy's hand. With a smirk he gripped it and with his thumb and index twisted it slightly.

"Teddy~" you gasp which turns into a whimper as he continues his assault. "Theo what ah-" your objections turn into soft mewls.

"Need your shirt off love think you can do that for me," your hands claw at the hem before tossing it. His thick veiny hands around your breasts made you clench around his finger.

Theo's low laugh sent shivers all over you.

"The mere sight of my hand had you clenching so tightly around my finger, look how much of a whore you are..." he falter as you clenched around him again this time rewarding him with an orgasm.

"Fuck, I wish I could take a picture of you," your face was sublime in his eyes. He lowered his head onto your neck and lightly sucked on your neck going down.

"I'll mark you another time love," he said everytime you'd lurch from pleasure. He sucked hard on a piece of your skin leaving a slight mark.

He reached your nipple and with a slight lick electricity shot through you. You jerk causing you ended up face planting into him.

"Shit, love sorry," he said as he pushed you up slightly not quite getting you off him. Now you were sitting on him your knee on both sides of him. You watched as his hands flexed behind him supporting the weight of both of you. His shirt rose up and you locked eyes with his abs, his chest was muscular yes but you'd never really seen beneath it. You reached out and traced it enamoured with his beauty.

With a sharp breath he sat up and his back was against the bed. His shirt slowly and sadlyy moving down. You tore your eyes from his arms trying not to focus on him. His tousled black hair, his soft looking pink lips, his leg opening smile.

Fuck he was gorgeous

Unbeknownst to you, he was watching you watch him. He knew how well his arms turned you on. He knew how much one look from him would have you down and out. He knew how much you were fighting yourself.

He knew.

Even now as you muttered apologies and tried to get of him he knew it was futile.

"Stop, please," he said halting your movements. "Don't move,"

"What? Am I crushing you?" You asked moving even more. His arms reached up and held you down forcing you to stay still. Then you felt it.

Oh

"See what you do to me love," he chuckled. "Moving around so innocently not know what effect you have on me," his hands on you moved you up and down on him. "Want me to stop."

"No," you answer quick and fleeting. "Please." He laughs at your desperation.

"But first tell me what had you clenching your legs earlier hmm, before I decided to have a little fun" he continues moving your hips.

TPC.exe. has crashed

[Your thought processing capabilities have crashed.]

He stops and you whine. "Theodore," he smiles at how his name sounds from your lips.

"Answer me love,"

"You, your"

"Me, My?"

"Arms," you try to continue grinding against him but his hands hold you firmly in place.

"My arms?" He says his voice low. Suddenly he he pushes you off him as he climbs above you while you're wriggling beneath. "Tell me more."

"So strong and-and" your mind is muddled with pleasure.

"All big and strong?" He offers.

"Mhmm," you mumbled losing yourself down the rabbit hole that's called Theodore Nott.

"Fuck," he whispers into your neck. Suddenly he stands up and puts you upright. Accioing your shirt onto you, he carries you bridal style your face falling into his neck. You're confused for a minute till you notice Draco coming and the rest coming in. Theodore makes a manner of talking to you but all you can do is mumble a soft really.

"Look at you Teddy, you've bored to girl to sleep," Draco drawls. Theodore raises his wand and Draco is left pantsed. His silk underwear on show.

"OI!," But Teddy is long gone. When they reach his Dorms Theodore let's you down as he closes the door.

"We don't have to do anything," he whispers although his need seeps through his voice. "What I did earlier if you weren't comfortable or maybe you had a lapse of judgement...

"Maybe I want to do anything," you shyly say meeting his eyes.

"Fuck love," he days before he grabs your waist and brings you closer. "I plan to worship you my love,"

♡Hope it's long enough if not I can add more lmk in the comments♡

[Edited]

[Edited]

[catiuskaa]

COACH OR PLAYER?

SUMMARY: there’s always a time when one just has to know, but is the coach able to risk it and play their own game?

WC: 1.43k (omg)

CW: caution! content hot! lol, just suggestive, a sneaky reference to the devil wears prada, some sports/gameplayer terminology.

REQUESTED! by annonie right here. i gotta say, good music taste, pookie. I had fun with this one, I really hope you do too! <3

[⛓️☆ 🎀 ☆⛓️]

Bet.

“Do I look that cold?”

You hesitated, smiling after he lend you his jacket.

“Maybe.” He shrugged playfully, scrunching his face in a funny way, which made his glasses fall a bit further down the bridge of his nose. “Maybe I’m just that hot.”

You rolled your eyes, biting your lip.

Sometimes you wished you could just forget about it.

“He said that?” Your roomate Jeongin scoffed. “Man figured a way to lower a standard that was already non-existent for his category.”

You blinked, deadpanning at him before sighting and merely continuing making a simple grilled cheese for dinner.

“Now’s when you ask, Innie, what category?”

The olive oil teased you, its sound almost threatening as you pulled your sleeves as far as they could reach, trying to cover your hands.

“What if I’m not interested?”

He scoffed with a smirk, already munching what had been meant as a dessert, his eyes never leaving the sliced pieces of fruit.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Andrea, everybody wants this.”

You laughed, sitting down on the sofa next to him, and he lowered the TV’s volume, going as far as to sit propperly —criss-cross is propper, and that’s on period, he’d say— and facing towards you, clearing his throat and leaving the plate on the coffee table.

The crisp feeling of toast was better than you imagined, considering you’d thought you weren’t even that hungry at first. You chewed gingerly, unbothered by what was starting to feel like a piercing stare to your forehead.

“Jeongin-a.” It was funny how hard he tried to play it as if he hadn’t been startled by your tone. You blinked again, merely meeting your eyes with his. “I’d rather you speak than drill holes on my head.”

He groaned, throwing his legs over the sofa’s armrest, passing his hands through his face. You ate quietly, waiting for him.

“It’s just that…” he sighed. “I never know when you’re going straight ahead for someone. I don’t think I know now either.”

You frowned, covering your mouth with the back of your hand, still eating. “The fuck you mean, pal?”

He stood up faster than you expected, which almost threatened your grilled cheese sandwich to end up facing the floor.

“I know you like him. Shit like that is your whole modus operandi. But ever since our bet, I just don’t know.”

It’s probably a famous last word. At the rate it’s said, it’s gotta be. It’s easygoing, slipping off one’s tongue quickly, as if ripping off a band-aid.

“Bet on it.”

“That just scrambles my eggs, dude.” You had winced a while back, playing half-annoyed, suddenly focused on the contents inside the can in your hand. “I don’t think I’m interested.”

He had chuckled, opening another can of beer.

“Why?” He said, smirking teasingly. “Even coach leaves the fucking bench if the rest of the players suck,” his face was serious, his pink-tinted cheeks obvious, considering his weak alcohol tolerance.

“That’s not even funny.”

He had dissmissed your denial, grunting a bit, approaching you further, and laying a hand on your shoulder.

“You’re normally blind to this type of things, but with this guy, you can’t even say if he’s just playing.”

Alas, your can had been empty. But now, a small idea had blossomed and filled a part of your mind.

“I bet that if I flirt back, he’ll back off. That’s my bet.” You had slammed the can against the table, your expression that of a winner.

Silly little thing.

No one can win if no one wants to stop playing.

[⛓️☆ 🎀 ☆⛓️]

“Hey,” you grinned, watching him smile at you as he took his big headphones off and left them hanging on his neck.

You closed the door of the studio behind you, taking a seat on the chair next to him.

“Pity. I had a better seat saved for you, doll.” Jisung teased, tapping on his thighs playfully.

You chuckled, biting your lip.

Every player knows that rules exist for a reason. The issue in the gameplay is the rules. They limit one’s extent to keep the game going. Rules are there to make sure the result is fair.

But what if any fairness can get out of this?

Your eyes didn’t leave his when you smirked.

“Sure thing, jagi.”

The chair threatened to move backwards with the added weight, but Han planted his shoes on the ground with more firmness, his arms traveling to your waist, making sure that even if the chair gave up, you wouldn’t end up on the floor.

Your back was facing him, and you knew you were using that to your advantage when you stoond up just enough to sit a little further, just a tiny bit, now able to lie your head on his shoulder comfortably.

It’s no surprise that this match’s winner could have been already decided, considering your current position in less than ten minutes together. A good player knows when not even the VAR can rule these points out if they wanted to.

Han knew he wouldn’t.

You don’t, however, so it could start to look like the gameplay may take a turn. He could get the upper hand, seeing as his arms cheekily traveled around your waist and he sighed, his breath hot against the skin of your neck, and your head could figure out you had lost, judging by how hard it was to fight off the shivers that ran through your spine because of him.

You were blushing, sitting on his lap. You weren’t sure you could remember what you were supposed to be doing in the studio anyways.

After all, rules are followed because everyone knows them. But what happens when none of the players can decide where to draw the line?

“What do we have here?” Your tone sounded cheeky, yet neither of you will comment on it as you point at the big screen slightly above you.

“A beat I was working on.” His voice too felt slightly lower, its sneaky undertone able to hit you like a truck if spotted, hunting you like a sweet you couldn’t help but crave.

Your hands traveled to his neck, and you fidgeted with the golden chain there, teasing as you purposefully graced your fingers against his skin, tickling, tantalizing.

“Can I listen to it?” You snickered while putting on his chain.

Sometimes, one of the players may not be really acquainted with the rules. And at the end, in this gameplay, at least, no winners can achive said golden medal when you’re not able to ignore how his fingers never once stopped playing with the light-coloured threads that decorated the end of your high-waisted shorts.

The drums and beats and bass all filled up the sound-proofed room once Jisung pressed play.

You giggled, returning the chain to its rightful owner, letting it dangle, following its patter from his nape, to his collarbone, and down to his chest.

He shivered, almost unnoticeable, and you smiled.

“It’s a fire beat.” I’m winning. “Have you planned what to add to it?” Turn it against me.

He smirked, nodding, his hands pressing you even more against him, as if that could make you able to read his mind, then make him able to take your breath away as he’d finally let the bomb inside him explode, take you from your thighs and sit you on the table before him, not bothering to move anything an inch as his fingers unbutton your blouse and how you would hastedly discard his sweatter off him.

But that won’t happen as of now, so he just grinned, taking your hands, always a little colder than his, and used the sleeves of his sweater to cover them, warming them up with the fabric. Which was as intended. Not merely holding hands as he kept at bay all of the thoughts that flooded him whenever your studio sessions came around.

Of course not.

“Oh, yeah.” He replied, a faint blush not noticeable thanks to the coloured lights. Its direct if you’re thinking the same as him, but that, he won’t know, so still, he replied cheekily.

“There’s still things to do.”

His eyes found yours, and he smirked.

“I don’t think I’ll be done soon.”

It’s ridiculous how he bit his lip, almost threatening you to follow along and bite him too.

“It’s just a little too good. Don’t you think, doll?” The way he paused after every sentece started to drive you wild, and you fidgeted with his rings again, both of your hands hidden in the holes of his sweater.

It’s also sweet how you didn’t know he was not wearing anything else underneath it.

At least, not yet.

Rules says you’ll have to wait a bit longer.

And Han Jisung is and has always been a thorough player.

[⛓️☆ 🎀 ☆⛓️]

~Kats, who thinks has been exposed to lots of euro matches to end up writing this. lol

catiuskaa, july 2024 ©

[ladykailitha]

Of Butterflies and Backstrokes Part 5

Hey guys!! Things are finally starting to move in this story, I'm not sure how much longer we have, but I just started Eddie's training, so whooo!!

In this we have Eddie being dumb, fixing it, and then apologizing properly! He can be taught!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

~

Robin smacked the back of Steve’s head as she walked past. “No staring. It’s creepy!”

Steve ducked his head and blushed. He had been caught staring so many times today that, yeah, it was starting to be a little creepy now. But in all fairness, Eddie was staring right back. A thought that sent Steve spiraling. But like in a ‘oh shit, that’s hot!’ way.

Which he really, really needed to tamp down on, because yes, the guy was eighteen, but like barely.

“You should just go talk to him,” Robin encouraged gently. Because for all her teasing, she knew how important it was for Steve to talk to him about his swimming.

Steve nodded. He had time until his next class. He took a deep breath and squared his shoulders. He walked up to Eddie and flashed him his patented Harrington smile.

“Hey, you’re Eddie, right?” he said warmly. “Robin tells me you like to swim on Saturdays, yeah?”

Eddie blinked at him for a moment. “Um, hi. Yup! That’s me. My mom used to call me her little fish.”

Steve grinned. He liked that. He wished his mom had taken that kind of interest in his swimming. “I saw you swimming when I was helping Joyce set up for the party last weekend and you were really good! Did you compete in high school?”

“Nah,” Eddie said with a shrug. “I wanted to, but I couldn’t get someone to take me that early in the morning so I stopped. Competed in middle school, though. I was decent enough, I guess.”

Steve was shocked. To have to stop just when you hit your stride must have been quite the blow.

“That fucking sucks, man,” Steve said with a grimace. He scratched his cheek thoughtfully. “You ever think about competing on the national level? Because I really think you could.”

Eddie rolled his eyes with a scoff. “Yeah, right. I couldn’t afford the coach let alone all the traveling I’d have to do to make it to meets. I’m going to have to pass on that one.”

“There’s actually a program here for people who can’t afford it,” Steve hedged. “Robin used it when we both first started out.” He was fighting back the urge to start biting his nails.

Eddie’s eyes narrowed and Steve gulped. “Is that so?” He nodded. “Well ain’t that nice. Still not interested.”

Steve wished the floor would swallow him or that pool would suddenly flood or that he’d get a brain aneurysm and die, right there on the spot. He pursed his lips together and nodded with his whole upper body. He turned on his heel and walked away.

When he was about to the other side of the pool, Eddie called out, “Who would even want to coach me?”

Steve turned around with a grin. “I would.” Then he spun on his toes and walked out of the pool area to the cool fresh air of the hallway.

~

Once Steve was out of the pool area and into the hall, he had a full on panic attack. He sank to the floor and held his head in his hands. Why the fuck did he offer to coach Eddie? He didn’t know Eddie, he was afraid of deep water, and he hadn’t even talked to Joyce yet.

It was a real mess now, but the words just forced themselves from him and now he wants to gobble them back up. Well maybe they’ll just avoid each other from now on. They had done a pretty good job up to this point, they could just continue as normal and forget all about how Steve made a fool of his himself.

Then slowly he began to come out of his panic attack to the sounds of soft words and the gentle rubbing of his wrists with their thumbs. His breathing evened, his heart rate dropped, and his eyes fluttered open.

The eyes looking back at him were warm chocolate brown and deeply concerned. The angel in front of him said something but Steve couldn’t hear. Then all at once all the sounds came rushing back into the hall. And suddenly there were more people in the hall with him than he thought. In addition to Eddie who was the one holding his hands, Robin and Joyce were there too.

“I think he’s coming around,” Joyce said gently as Steve’s eyes focused on her. “Hey, there, Steve. Are you okay now?”

Steve gulped, nodding. He was feeling better. In fact he didn’t have a pounding headache like he usually had after an episode. “My head doesn’t hurt.” He looked over at Robin in confusion. “Why doesn’t it hurt?”

“Uh...” Eddie said hesitantly. “I might have something to do with that. I used some calming techniques my friend’s dad showed me.”

Steve turned to him, mouth open in awe. “Oh. Thank you.” He didn’t know what to do with that because technically it was his conversation with Eddie which caused the panic attack in the first place. But maybe that’s why Eddie helped, because he knew he’d caused it. That was a nice thought, Steve supposed.

Eddie smiled and stood back up. “I have to get back to work. You take care of yourself, okay Stevie?”

Steve nodded and Eddie slapped his hands on his knees, standing up. He muttered goodbye to the two women and then wandered off.

As Robin helped him to his feet, she said dryly, “I take it the conversation didn’t go well.”

He barked out a laugh causing Joyce to look back and forth between them in confusion. So Steve put her out of her misery. “I was telling him that he was good enough of a swimmer to compete, but I think he thought I was mocking him or something, because he kinda blew me off.”

He rubbed his temples for a moment before adding. “I even offered to coach him.”

Joyce blinked at him for a moment. “You offered what now?”

When he looked up both Robin and Joyce were looking at him with large, wide eyes and slack jaws. “Yeah, that’s kinda what started the panic attack if I’m honest. I know I am like the worst person for the job with all my...” he waved his hand helplessly. Then he snapped his fingers. “Issues. Anyway. It was nice of him to help me out after all that.”

“Dingus...” Robin said with a heavy sigh. “What were you going to do if he accepted?”

Steve grimaced and ducked his head. “Have you help me?” He looked up at her through his eyelashes and batted them, pouting.

Robin pushed his shoulder. “Disgusting!” Then she gave him a huge hug and kiss on the cheek. “Of course I’d help you.”

“I think it would be perfect,” Joyce blurted out. They both turned and looked at her. “This place could use the publicity if I’m honest. There are other pools in Indy that have been bringing in the bigger names. So if Eddie accepts and starts training under five time gold medal champion Steve Harrington...”

“Then this place could start bringing in the big names again,” Robin said. “Not to say that Steve isn’t a big name of his own,” she added when Steve’s face twisted into something like offense.

Steve shook his head. “Which isn’t going to happen because he said no.”

Joyce and Robin sighed. There was that. But they knew they shouldn’t go trying to pressure Eddie into it. Plus, despite how good he was there was no telling he’d be on par or better than his younger peers.

Steve and Robin left Joyce standing there, pondering her dilemma.

~

Eddie chewed on the inside of his cheek thoughtfully. He was grateful that the technique worked, but he was pretty sure that he had caused the attack in the first place. Which was... not good. He could have handled the offer to have him trained to compete a little better. Steve was paying him a compliment and he threw it back in his face as charity. He didn’t need charity not from no one.

There was no two ways about it. He was going to have to apologize. Which was never his strong suit. But he’d do it. He just wasn’t going to take Steve up on his offer. He would see about staying on here as paid help because then he could still have access to his beloved pool.

It took him a couple of days but finally their schedules matched up and Eddie was on his break and Steve had time between classes again.

“Um, hey,” he said timidly, sauntering up to Steve. “I just wanted to apologize for being a bitch on Monday. I was rude and that wasn’t fair.”

A slow smile spread out over Steve’s face. “Thanks. I did just spring it on you without an preamble, so...”

Eddie laughed. “Yeah, there was that. But it still was mean and I should have been nicer.”

“Well, you made up for it by helping me with the panic attack afterwards,” Steve said. “I’d say that makes us even.”

“A panic attack I’m pretty sure I caused.”

Steve winced, confirming the worst of Eddie’s suspicion on that one. Steve rubbed his chin thoughtful. “I’ll tell you what, if you teach Robin and Joyce that technique you used to pull me out of my panic attack, then we’ll be even.”

Eddie smiled that sweet closed mouth smile that melted Steve’s insides when he saw it. “Sure thing I can do that. On Saturday before the crew swim. I’ll teach them both.”

Steve’s shoulders relaxed. That was going to be so useful, having multiple people know how to get him out of an attack would make it easier for him to go out in public. Something that was very limited after the incident in Beijing.

“That’ll be great, thanks.”

“You should come too,” Eddie suggested. “I know you don’t like being in the pool, but you could come hang out and have a little fun for a change.”

Steve gasped dramatically. “What do you mean? Isn’t teaching beginning classes meant to be fun?”

Eddie’s eyes went wide. It took him two seconds long than it should have to realize that Steve was joking him. He pushed Steve’s shoulder playfully.

“At least with us,” he teased, “we won’t try and drown you, deliberately or otherwise.”

Steve tilted his head to side and looked at him in confusion. Where the urge to bite those cheeks came from, Eddie will deny knowing until his last breath. “I saw that snotty teenaged little shit try to pull you into the pool. That’s fucked up at hell.”

Steve’s smile was blinding. “Fair enough. I like getting to sleep in on Saturdays, but we’ll see.”

Eddie grinned back. “I never used to get up this early for school. But ya know, keeping out of jail is pretty inspiring.”

“I could see that, yeah,” Steve agreed. “It was the one downside being on the swim team in high school.”

“You went to a regular high school?” Eddie asked tilting his head. “I would have thought after getting fifth in your first Olympics you would have gone to a special school for kids that are huge in sports or whatever?”

Steve blinked at him for a moment. “Do they have schools like that?”

“They do for like actors and shit,” Eddie said with a shrug. “So I assumed they would have something similar for the jocks.”

Steve laughed. “Yeah, no. That would have been preferable.” He shook his head. “But no, it’s much more cut throat that than that. Pretty much, schools try and poach students from other schools to make the best sports teams.”

Eddie’s eyebrows shot up. “Wait, really?”

“Yep!” Steve said beaming at him. He looked up at the clock on the wall. “Look, my next class is about to start. So I really should get going. Especially with Joyce’s son in the class, I don’t want to be late.”

“Why is he starting so late?” Eddie asked. “I would have thought with Joyce being in charge of the rec center and his older brother literally being a trainer too, he would have been in the tots class.”

Steve nodded. “She didn’t get the manager position until five years ago and Will was afraid of the water by then. So they just waited until he was ready.”

“So he’s ready now?” Eddie asked curiously.

“Mhmm,” Steve hummed. “All his friends are going to be in the class with him, so he ready to hop in the pool with them.”

Eddie smiled. “That’s cute.”

That surprised a huff of laughter out him. “Sure is. But don’t tell him that. He’s at the age where cute is akin to baby and well...”

“He’s too old for that?” Eddie finished.

“Yeah.”

“I feel that,” Eddie agreed. “Have fun in your class, and remember you can always make it look like an accident.”

Steve laughed out right at that and waved goodbye. Eddie watched him go feeling better about the whole panic attack thing. Now all he had to do was make sure it never happened again. Or at least not by his own big fucking mouth.

~

Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

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[redhoodinternaldialectical]

Thoughts on Jason Todd’s choice of weaponry?

:D an ask! Yay!

Oooh, lets see, I'll start with the crowbars because I appear to be like one of three people on the entire planet who actually likes them.

They're a tacky as fuck riff on the fact that Jason's death is central to his character. They overemphasize the manner in which he died, muddy the waters about what part of his death is important to him, and strangely cheapens the manner in which he died through the parody feel of it.

No one seems to really disagree with my analysis here, but I happen to enjoy that about them and think it's very on brand for Jason. What can I say? They're fun!

Best Quality - His Wiggles

This ultra-sharp curved blade used to be his signature character design feature, the way the white streak in his hair is now, and I'm really not sure why it didn't stick!

Best weapon he's ever had, bring it back please!!!!!

The All-Blades

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM...

I have mixed feelings about the All-Blades. Like much of Lobdell's work: phenomenal idea, poor execution. Giving the guy who is most known for being morally grey a set of powers that is exclusively based on moral absolutes sucks shit, I gotta be honest, and the trick he pulled on the blood blade was cool but ultimately does nothing to solve those problems.

HOWEVER

I want to love them so fucking badly. A set of glowy soul blades is a dope sicknasty off the chain concept and I wish the well wasn't poisoned with the moral implications and the restrictions to use them only on the "Untitled", a set of enemies that only exist for Jason so far as I can tell. If someone seriously took Jason down a magic based path that removed the DnD alignment chart bullshit, I would be so game to see them come back! Hell I wouldn't even insist on a better cooler design for them!

...though uh, yeah those are the least interesting magic sword designs I've ever seen tbh

Normal Ass Swords

They're alright I guess. Like, there's nothing in it really, but it's not bad?

Guns - Real Bullets

Excellent, evocative yet simple, straightforwards and to the point. It makes hella sense thematically to boot, love this for him, please give him back his pistols and miniguns and shit

Guns - Rubber Bullets

Hate. HATE. hate ick disgusting bad NO.

I just fucking hate rubber bullets, like, as a concept. I refuse to accept "non-lethal" bullets as a valid use of gun, either in real life or in fiction. Guns are for putting many holes in things very fast!!!! If you're gonna use a gun, fucking well own up to that!!! Do not play this silly ass game of pretending that you can change out the material and do the same things as with lead bullets but with the video game status effect of "non-lethal" applied. YOU ARE GIVING PEOPLE SMALL CIRCULAR BRUISES. This is still harmful, yes, ooph ouchie, but it is not even slightly a good use of a gun, you are wasting holster space, and carry weight, and the physical materials used to make it all!!

JUST USE A FUCKING STICK! YOU DON'T RUN OUT OF STICK AMMO!

My belief in his capacity to take out enemies is shattered the instant those fuckers are on panel. Maybe this ain't entirely rational, or realistic to how fights go with rubber bullets IRL, but I hate them so much on principle that I will ignore any counterargument you might have that they'd work. I will die on this hill. Rubber bullets BAD. Please stop making him use this!!

Bombs

Love it, give him more bombs forever

ka-BOOM!!!!

His Brain

This is actually his best weapon - sorry wiggly knife, you're being shunted down to number 2 on a last minute technicality! I think Jason is at his best when he's outsmarting people and making long term fucked up schemes to ruin people's lives.

He's so good at it! It's so fun to watch him do it!

Genuinely a shame that this facet of him was mostly lost after Flashpoint, though to give credit where it is due, in Rebirth Jason did ruin the Penguin's life in an impressively elaborate way, which I did really enjoy. I want to see him be a tactical deliberate menace to one person in specific again idk, that's part of why I do kinda agree that he works better as an antagonist than a protagonist - which it should be noted does not mean I think he works better as a villain necessarily, his ethics aren't what matter here - he's just had his best moments as the schemer, and it's hard to have a protagonist schemer even when you make them ethically the good guy.

I hope you enjoyed my nattering on about Jason's weapons :D thank ye again for ask!

[showtoonzfan]

Also yeah this new Hazbin cast is not it man. I’m sorry. Most of them either sound flat, don’t fit with the character design, or are just not as good as the original. Angel and Alastor I especially don’t like, Alastor sounds so nasally and Amari just can’t top Bosco’s performance, with Bosco not only was he good but when Alastor was threatening, he SOUNDED threatening. I may have made fun of Al’s design, but Bosco’s voice is what made the character interesting and threatening for me. With Amari’s voice he just sounds beyond silly and I can’t take him seriously.

Blake Roman is literally just intimidating Kovach, except this time Angel just sounds forced and awkward. It makes you wonder why Viv just didn’t get Kovach back since it’s obvious she wanted to find someone so similar to him, and then you realize…oh yeah, Kovach wasn’t on Broadway or is a big singer. Micheal was really good at what he did as Angel too as everyone has already said so Viv fumbled the bag SO hard with these two it’s sad. I’m especially pissed about Alastor cause Bosco was the reason he was my favorite character and now he sounds so cringe.

Husk and Vox are played by two very talented actors/singers but their voices just don’t fit with the character design, though I’m not that against Christain Borle as Vox, the voice doesn’t fit the twink design but at the very least they got a man who sounds like a full grown adult playing a full grown adult lmao. Husk is a different story however, because it feels like Keith was picked to play him just because he was famous and nothing else. Back in the pilot, Viv had a specific voice in mind for Husk and she found it, aka Mick. He perfectly came off as an old washed up grumpy alcoholic, and Keith’s voice kinda just…erases all that personality. Sure Keith’s voice sounds cool but that’s it, it’s style over substance.

I wish I could say more about Charlie and Vaggie but I’m not sure what to say other then they kinda sound forced and awkward too, and I hate saying that cause they’re also played by two very talented actresses. Stephanie B played Mirabel from Encanto, she’s had voice acting experience before so I hope she ends up sounding good in the actual show. Erika meanwhile…I hate to say this but other than her singing voice there’s nothing really special about her as Charlie compared to Jill Harris, though even with Jill I never felt any strong feelings towards her performance.

Adam meanwhile, dear GOD I was right about him looking bad in animation form, his design sucks so fucking much. Fans were right, that’s Alex Brightman’s voice, he seems to be using his normal voice but just a tad deeper. He’s the only one who’s a fine choice, though I really wish we got to hear him as Pentious here!

But yeah in terms of the voice cast I’m just disappointed man, really disappointed. It makes you really realize how talented the pilot cast was. They were so good cause they were all chosen for a reason that wasn’t just “they’re famous” and it fucking sucks how bad Viv fumbled everything.