#sir im sorry but theres nothing to know

[monarchy-sys]

See I've decided to suddenly use this blog right now because if I vent to one more person directly I might actually explode. Fuck having problems or talking to people in order to cope I have decided to renounce being annoying forever. Look at my vent tags boy

[thebirdandhersong]

Lol

[staargirls]

delulu mind process dump in the tags yipee tw delulu.

[thelov3lybookworm]

Love's Bullshit.

Summary: maybe love wasnt bullshit after all.

•○●⛦●○•

Word Count: 5225

Warnings: a tinyyy tiny bit of angst, pining, unrequited feeling but requited in the end, sad rhysie poo healing but we dont really get into that. uh i think thats it? let me knowif theres more i need to add <3

A/n: let me tell yall, when i wrote this i think i had watched some pasta videos and helped my mum clean up some green veggies lmaoo, so Y/n's thoughts are just me yapping lol.

rhys would be happy i finally wrote something fluffy for him lmao

I LOVED WRITING TIS SM OML I HOPE YALL LOVE READING IT AKFJHDFH

(im sorry im back to my p.s bs again cus thank you to my wifey for, again, helping me plan this fic out and also this fic is again based on an indian song 😭)

anyways, enjoyyy🥹🤭

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

It had almost become a ritual, standing around the coffee machine and waiting to grab the two cups of coffee.

It was a ritual, stalking back to the office with two cups of steaming coffee in her hand.

It was a ritual, trying her best not to blush when her boss smiled at her, his fingers brushing hers as he took his black coffee from her hands, a soft thank you slipping past his lips, his attention already focused on the screen of his laptop.

Y/n did not know how she hadn’t yet told him she loved him, but whatever force held those words captive in her chest, she thanked it every day.

Today was no different as she made her way into the elevator, nodding to the others who filed in after her with a small smile. Silence filled her ears, only broken by the ding of the elevator doors as it opened to let a couple of employees out onto the second floor. Y/n leaned back, sighing as the doors dragged close again, her head resting against the shiny metal as her eyes fixed themselves on the little panel above the door.

5.

7.

10.

13.

15.

25.

Ding.

Y/n walked out, subconsciously searching for that familiar figure of her boss. The final floor of the building had been turned into a huge office for the CEO and the owner and his two best friends who helped manage the place, so it was not hard to find him, standing hunched over the huge mahogany desk as he scribbled something in a file.

She moved forward, lips stretching to accommodate the smile that spread on her lips without permission.

"Good evening, sir."

His head rose, the black rimmed glasses perched on his nose caching in the light. "Good evening, Y/n." His violet eyes tracked her movements, an easy smile on that full mouth.

He turned around the moment she set his coffee on his desk, attention already flitting away to focus on more important things.

It irritated Y/n to no end that he would not even try to talk to her- or anyone, really- unless it was related to work.

"Uh, have a good day, sir."

He nodded, and Y/n took that as her que to leave. She walked towards the desk that Y/n occupied. Being the CEO’s secretary, he wanted her close by in case he needed anything. Thankfully, the two managers were too busy with their own work to look at the blush that covered Y/n.

Time flew by as she settled down again, forcing herself to stop thinking about how those eyes would shine from up close, and started typing away in her laptop, her surroundings fading into nothing.

The next time Y/n stood to stretch her back, it was already dark outside the huge glass walls, and she leaned back, her back curving before it finally popped. The other two men that worked on the top floor, Cassian and Azriel, had already left half an hour ago, after bidding Y/n and Rhysand goodbye.

Relieved breath escaping her lips, she turned to find herself alone with Rhysand, who now sat with his back straight. So straight that Y/n was concerned that it would hurt him.

Something was wrong.

Before she could inquire, the elevator doors slid open, and the loud clicking of stilettos filled the silent atmosphere.

She’s beautiful.

That was Y/n’s first thought.

Long, straight light brown hair, almost bordering blond, the woman stalked straight up to the rich dark wooden desk, ire blazing in her eyes, anger seeping from every pore in her body.

Y/n should have left, she knew she should have.

But she didn’t, even knowing she would regret not leaving when everything seemed fine.

Rhys, eyes wide, stumbled to his feet.

Y/n had never seen that man ever stumble.

"Did I not tell you to stay away from me?"

His mouth parted, and Y/n watched with bated breath to see what would happen.

"Hello to you too, Feyre d-"

"Call off your stalker."

Fingers of ice skated down Y/n’s spine. Stalker?

His eyes hardened, jaw clenched. "He isn’t a stalker."

The woman let out an incredulous laugh. "Oh? Then what is he?"

"He’s there to protect you-"

"And what is he protecting me from? The trees in my backyard?"

Y/n swallowed, eyes flitting away. The elevator was near her, but it would draw attention. But it was definitely better than standing and watching the two like a creep.

"Feyre…" It was dark, but Y/n knew that Rhys glanced at her frozen form. "Let’s talk somewhere else, please. You’re making a scene-"

"No. I’m not going anywhere with you."

He released a frustrated breath, and Y/n finally got herself moving.

She grabbed her purse and hurried towards the elevator, hoping he did not think that she was judging him. Even as hard as she tried to be quiet, her heels clicked, and she froze, panic seizing every muscle in her body as she felt his eyes on her.

Swallowing, she hit the button on the silver panel, and the doors slid open, thankfully revealing that the elevator was still on their floor. As soon as she walked in, she hit the button to close the doors continuously, then pressed the button to the ground floor.

Idly she watched herself in the glass in the back of the elevator, her eyes travelling over her own figure.

Hmm. Pretty, but not as much as that lady.

It was clear that Rhys and she had something together. If not now, then before. And with the way Rhysand’s eyes had lit up with love but also sadness, she knew it was romantic.

Eh. Never really stood a chance anyway.

The elevator finally stopped moving, and Y/n walked out to greet a few lingering employees, who smiled and nodded at her. She smiled too, her mind already wandering to what she would eat for dinner. Maybe she could just get takeout-

She couldn’t.

Ugh.

She groaned as she remembered that her car had broken down the day before, and she’d had it towed to a mechanic shop, who had taken one look at the old, run down vehicle and said it would take them at the very least one week to fix.

Uber it is.

As she walked towards the exit, Y/n shoved her hand into her purse to grab her phone, but everything that came into her hand was not in the shape of that specific piece of rectangle.

Please. I don’t want to go up there again.

Pausing a few feet away from the automatic sliding doors, she peered into the little black purse, and sure enough, she could not see her phone.

Great. Just what I needed.

It didn’t have to be a big deal, Y/n told herself. She would just run up through the stairs, quietly grab her phone and leave.

Sure, you’ve got the energy and bones to run up twenty five floors.

Maybe she could just ask someone else to order a cab for her and she could just take her phone tomorrow-

It was Saturday tomorrow. No office.

Sighing, Y/n turned back, only to find the elevator doors opening and the same clicking of stilettos that had heralded the arrival of that pretty lady. And sure enough, when Y/n looked up from her purse while still cursing her own existence, the woman was walking towards her.

Y/n watched in awe as she stalked past her and out the automatic doors without sparing the countless onlookers a single glance, as if they all were a mere insect and she the god.

If Y/n was being honest, she envied her confidence while also respecting her for it. Y/n could only wish she was that good at being self assured to not trip and faceplant in front of everyone.

Y/n watched till the lady got into the back of a shiny white Audi and drove away, and only then did Y/n remember why she was still in the building.

She hurried into the elevator, her impatience mounting everytime it stopped on different floors for people to get on and off, but by the time she reached the top floor, she was all alone in that metal box. Her heart beating in her throat, she tried to walk as quietly to her desk as she could and snatched off the little device that lay beside her office laptop.

"Y/n?"

She had just turned around to sneak back to the elevator, trying not to look at the silhouette of her boss who stood gazing outside the floor to ceiling glass windows when he called. The low timbre of his voice made her freeze midstep, then glance at him as she brought her lifted leg to rest next to her other one.

"Yes, sir?"

He said nothing for a moment, and Y/n looked around, unsure of what to do. Just as her eyes came to rest on the elevator, it left to go down.

Y/n eyed the metal doors with disappointment when Rhysand asked her to come stand next to him.

She obeyed quietly, the only sound in the silent office that of her of her heels clicking on the marble floors.

He remained quiet when she stopped next to him, his dark blue eyes that bordered on looking like violet under a certain angle of light fixed on the glittering city beneath. Y/n too turned to gaze out of the huge windows when he refused to let his attention move.

It was beautiful, the city. Tall buildings lit up with lights on the inside, their glass reflecting light coming off of large billboards, the red and white lights from cars speeding by blurring together in a beautiful scenery of night, complemented by the full moon that hung amidst a sea of stars.

"It’s beautiful, isn’t it?"

Y/n blinked, coming out of her reverie and taking note of her surroundings again before replying. "Yeah, it is."

He sighed after a moment, glancing at her. "Have you ever been in love, Y/n? Do you believe in it?"

Y/n glanced at him, taken aback by his question.

"I- I guess so. I am currently in love, if it matters."

He nodded, his lips tilted up slightly at the corners.

"Does he know?"

"He… no. And I don’t think I will tell him." A pause, then- "what about you? Do you believe in it?"

"No. Not anymore. It’s bullshit and all it does is hurt people."

"Oh…" Y/n mumbled, not knowing how to respond to that.

He glanced at her uncertainly, then dropped the topic.

"You must have questions."

Y/n met his eyes that glittered like sapphires in the darkened office, then shook her head. "I don’t think I should have questions, and even if I did, I won’t ask them. You have a right to keep your private life private."

He nodded, his eyes unwavering. Y/n could not for the life of her figure out what he was thinking, so instead she focused on her own faint reflection on his black rimmed glasses.

Is there something in my teeth?

He took in a deep breath, looking away.

Nah, there’s nothing. Thank god.

"What did you come back for?"

Y/n blinked, then perked up. "Oh, my phone." She lifted the thing and waved it. "I thought I’d leave it and collect it on Monday, but then I had to order a cab, so-"

"Cab? Why? What happened to your car?"

"Ah, it broke down yesterday. It’s at the mechanic’s. It will take at the very least a week to get fixed, so." She shrugged.

"Well, if that’s the case, let me drop you off."

Y/n’s eyes widened, and she shook her head as if trying to dislodge his offer. "No, sir, please. I can go by myself-"

"Never said you couldn’t." he mumbled, a hint of a smile on his face as he began collecting his phone and keys from the drawer under his desk, rummaging around for whatever it was he needed before straightening.

"Sir-"

"Come."

With that, he began stalking to the elevator, leaving Y/n no choice but to hurry after him.

He ignored all her protests and didn’t even let her get off on the ground floor when she decided that she was going to get a cab nonetheless, and grabbed her hand to force her to stay still.

Of course, the moment his skin touched hers, she froze and then quietly followed him to his black Mercedes in the underground parking.

The ride to her home was mostly silent, the quiet only broken by his deep voice asking for directions and her mumbling when to turn.

If Y/n was being honest, she did not know what to do with herself. She was in a car with her boss who she was in love with, the one who she’d just witnessed get accused of stalking his lover- ex?- and then he was ready to answer her questions about his private life and-

She knew her mind was going into overdrive.

Calm down. He'd think I’m a weirdo.

And him thinking she was a weirdo will just not do-

He probably already thinks I am a weirdo.

Y/n sighed quietly, then told him to stop under the apartment her parents had left her. It was one of the finer things in her life.

"Thank you for dropping me off sir, you really didn’t have to do that." With that and a word of goodbye from Rhysand, Y/n turned to step out of the luxurious vehicle, then stopped.

She did not have time to debate whether offering him to follow her would be a good idea because the damning words were already spilling out of her lips.

"Would you like to stay for dinner sir? Let me cook you something as a thank you."

He smiled, then nodded and asked her where he could park. She directed him to her usual parking spot because her car was not occupying the space.

She cooked her special pasta that night. It was something that her friends always begged her to make whenever they were over and it was also very easy and quick to throw together.

The two of them made friendly conversation throughout the time he stayed over, with the night ending with Rhys asking her to be a part of their friend group that included him, Azriel, Cassian and Rhysand’s cousin.

As surprising as it was, Y/n shyly agreed, considering she hated socialising as much as she hated mushy vegetables.

"Perfect." Rhysand grinned as he stood at the door, ready to leave. "I’ll text you the address for the dinner next week. I can’t wait for you to  be a part of us."

With that, he left Y/n to herself and her thoughts.

That night, she fell asleep thinking about Rhysand.

She knew she could never have him romantically, and that was okay.

As long as she became friends with him, it was all that mattered.

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

Y/n stood, watching the horizon twinkle with golden lights and hints of colour, their reflection in the river between hypnotising.

In the past months, Y/n had gotten closer to Rhys and his friends. They almost were the family she never had, the sibling-like bond they shared cherished beyond expectations.

Somewhere along the two months, Y/n had stopped focusing too much on how much she wanted to be with Rhysand, and yet, she knew she began to fall for him even more than she already had. Worse still, she now had more time to focus on all his little habits and quirks now that she hung out with him outside of office hours.

"Y/n. I think you need to get over whoever that asshole is, you know."

Y/n blinked, turning to face Rhys as he came to stand against the railing next to her.

"What?"

"You know, it’s been a long time since you told me about him. And if you’re still not dating, then I think you need to either tell him or forget him."

Y/n sighed. "It’s not that I don’t want to tell him. I know he would never love me back."

He nodded solemnly. "You said it yourself then. He would never love you. You might as well find someone new to love."

When Y/n rolled her eyes and turned back to stare into the dark waters, he tried again. "At least tell me who this love interest of yours is. Maybe I can knock some sense into him- or her, if you’re into that. I’m tired of seeing you be painfully single."

Y/n shook her head with a rueful smile, wondering what his reaction would be if she actually told him who this ‘love interest’ was.

Since Rhys had asked Y/n to be a part of the friend group, he had managed to get out a confession from Y/n about this ‘mysterious daddy of yours’. His own words, not hers.

He would try to find out who this guy was, he was adamant even, but every time Y/n would manage to escape without revealing who she was head over heels for. She had a relationship with Rhysand that was very precious to her, and she was not interested in jeopardising that.

It was better to just go on a date if it meant he would stop trying to get her to confess.

"Alright. I’ll go on a date."

Y/n could see him perk up. "Really? Let’s find you a guy. It will be so fun."

Y/n offered him a smile before he slipped away, then let the smile drop.

Having grown up without a real friend due to her social anxiety, Y/n cherished the friendship she and Rhys shared.

Initially, she had thought that becoming friends with him would be the best thing to ever happen to her. And it was, but it was also one of the most hurtful things she had gone through.

Being able to talk to him whenever she wanted to, being able to do everything she had ever wanted to do with him, yet not being able to love him the way she truly wanted was a curse in itself.

Sighing, Y/n told herself to stop thinking too much and walked away.

The next two days went by uneventfully, but then the third day, of course, Rhysand had to disrupt Y/n’s peace as she tapped away on her laptop, Cassian hot on his heels.

Those grins on their faces never meant good.

She raised a brow at them, eyeing Cass as he climbed on her table and settled down, pushing away the files in his way.

"Can I help you?"

"Yes, actually." Cass giggled before a word could escape Rhys’s mouth. Rhysand brows rose. "What do you think I should do for Nesta on her birthday?"

Y/n blinked, then leaned back in her seat, scratching her head. "Hmm. She likes to read, right? There’s a new book store that opened recently, it's very big and beautiful. She would love to go there. Make a day out of it. Take her there, then maybe a coffee date and movies-"

Rhys cleared his throat with a pointed glare at a very serious Cassian, who nodded at every word out of Y/n’s mouth and pulled out his phone to note down what to do. "We were here for another thing. Remember?"

Cassia grinned sheepishly and nodded, putting away his phone.

Rhys turned back to Y/n then. "You know, I recently got in contact with an old acquaintance from college." Y/n waited for him to drop the bomb on her, because there was no way he looked so serious just because he wanted to tell her that.

"I set you up on a date with him."

Y/n was rendered speechless. She did not know what to do, what to think. It was like even her mind had stopped working.

Just amazing. This is perfect. The man I love is acting like a wingman. What more could I have asked for?

When she remained silent, Cass and Rhys exchanged an uncertain glance.

"Uh, he’s well off, he’s good looking. He drives a BMW I believe, and-"

"Hmm. Just let me know the time and address."

Rhys blinked at Y/n, surely taken aback by the lack of emotion in her monotone voice. "I- okay yeah but-"

Just then, her phone rang. It was the receptionist. Y/n smiled, thanking every being she could think of for this distraction. She had plans of lunch with the girl who was like a friend too, and so it gave her the perfect escape.

But as she excused herself and all three friends went their separate ways, she could not help but feel someone's gaze on her. And sure enough, as she turned after entering the elevator, she found Rhys studying her, his gaze intense as it met hers.

But the eye contact was cut short as the doors slid closed, and Y/n sighed, blinking away the prickling in her eyes.

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

She did not want to get dressed, but she also did want Rhys to stop bothering her about her love life, and so she had pulled out her favourite dress from the back of her closet and put it on after taking a shower.

She had just finished putting on some mascara and blush when the doorbell rang, and Y/n paused, staring at herself for a moment before deeming that enough makeup and standing, making her way out of her room. Surprisingly, at her door stood a grinning Rhys.

Y/n was taken aback. He hadn’t informed her of his arrival.

"Hey Rhys, what are you doing here?"

"Why? Are you not happy to see me?"

Y/n rolled her eyes, turning away to go to the kitchen, leaving him to close the door.

She grabbed a glass and filled it with water, then handed it to him when he followed her into the kitchen. She then turned and leaned against the counter, crossing her arms across her chest.

"So. What brings you here?"

He put away the glass after drinking half of the liquid inside, raising his eyebrows playfully.

"What, I can’t come to see my friend without a reason?"

Y/n just watched him, not buying his lies. When he refused to speak more, she sighed. "Rhys, we both know I am not believing the shit you’re spewing right now, so just tell me why you’re here."

He exhaled, leaning his hip against the counter opposite Y/n. "I just wanted to check up on you. You didn’t seem too excited to go on this date."

Y/n unfolded her arms, looking away from his concerned gaze perusing her form. "How can I be happy about going on a date with someone who’s not the man I love?"

"Then tell me who he is Y/n, I could set you up on a date with him." Gone was the friendly warmth he usually talked to her with.

"I can’t Rhysand."

"Why not?!"

"I just- I just can’t, okay? And anyways, I’m trying to move on."

"Who is he?"

"Maybe today I will go meet that friend of yours-"

"Who is he?"

"-and fall in love and I’ll forget him-"

"Tell me who he is-"

"I can’t."

"Why not?"

"You want to know who he is that badly? It’s you, Rhys! It’s you."

His eyes widened, his lips parting as he stared at her. "You- what?"

Y/n refused to look away from him, cursing herself for shedding that one traitorous tear. But then she turned away. "I’m running late. He must be waiting for me."

With that, she walked out the door, ignoring his calls of her name.

Love really was bullshit. It just hurts people.

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

The two hours she spent with George- Greg? Gregory?- went by too fast. She did not even remember what he said. She could not stop thinking about Rhys and how she had confessed to him before coming to meet with the homo sapien in front of her.

He wanted to talk about himself, which Y/n did not mind one bit because she could not for the life of her listen. He was happy to yap and did not realise Y/n was zoned out the whole time he sang praises of himself, and was all too happy when Y/n paid for herself and then bid him goodbye, his eyes already fixed on a blonde across the restaurant.

Y/n did not want to go home yet, not knowing whether he left or not, so she decided to go sit at a beach near her home. It was empty at this time, most people either at home or out partying. It was a Saturday night after all.

Y/n felt like she had control over nothing. Since the day prior, all she could think of was how she wished she was prettier and had a chance to be with Rhys. She loved herself and her appearance, of course, but she could admit, she was nothing compared to that lady who had stormed into the office that day, telling Rhys to call off the stalker.

Y/n had never had any hope from the beginning. She had known that her feelings could not be anything but a crush, even if she wanted them to be more. Rhys was simply too good for her, and she was not above accepting that. She might have been delusional, but she wasn’t delusional enough to think he could ever return her feelings.

"I was waiting for you."

Y/n froze, suddenly aware of the sand grains between her toes, her heels discarded next to her, knees pulled up to her chest.

She did not respond, simply because she did not know how to. Now that she had been pulled out of her thoughts, she could hear him walking towards her, his steps cushioned by the shifting sand.

She decided to focus on the wind in her hair, on the soft, soothing melody of the water.

He settled down next to her, and she could not help but notice that he sat a little too close to be casual and friendly.

He said nothing for a long moment, and Y/n decided that in this moment, she could pretend to be his. She could pretend that he was hers and that they were madly in love. That he did not track her down here somehow and that the two of them were simply having a date night out.

"Her name is Feyre."

Y/n glanced at him from the corner of her eyes, unsure what he was talking about.

"She’s Nesta’s sister. That was how Nesta met Cassian, to be honest. She and I had been dating since we were in college."

It clicked for Y/n then, who he was talking about.

Tall, pretty, gorgeous hair and eyes. On top of that, a pretty name too? A jackpot, honestly.

As soon as that thought occurred to her, Y/n willed herself to stop thinking and just listen to the storytime by grandma Rhys.

Grandma Rhys??

All that was left was a rocking chair and some knitting needles and yarn.

He’d rock that fit too.

"She and Nesta… they grew up in conditions that were less than livable. Their father had lost his business and traumatised by the losses, he started staying home. Feyre had to work to keep the family going. She got to go to college because of scholarships."

Instantly, Y/n wished she could just give the lady a hug. But instead, she laid her head on her raised knees, turning her head to watch Rhys as he spoke.

"I had grown up in a filthy rich family, getting everything I wanted at my beck and call. Back then, I was smitten. Knowing what she had gone through, I wanted to provide for her. I took over my father’s businesses, began my own. Just so I could give her the lifestyle she deserved.

"While I was busy trying to get her to stop working… She wanted to provide for herself. It gave her a sense of independence, I understand that now. Having to depend on others before made her want to have freedom, and me trying to get her to stay at home made her feel suffocated. It led to a lot of arguments, more than was healthy. It upsetted me. I always wondered why she did not want to rule the empire I brought to her feet."

Y/n blinked, wondering what she would have done in that situation. Would she also have left Rhys?

"Eventually, she left me. Yet I could not bring myself to let go of her, always concerned about her safety for some reason. That’s when she came to the office, remember?"

Y/n did. A little too well.

But still, her heart hurt for him and her. She understood both sides, and she wished the two had just communicated better. Y/n knew they had loved each other a lot, it was clearly visible on their faces. At least on RHys’s. And from the way Rhys talked about her, Y/n could not help but like her too. She sounded like a nice person, someone deserving of someone as awesome as Rhys.

Even if that would have made Y/n’s chances of being with Rhys zero, she wished they had stayed and worked through their problems together.

He sighed, then turned his head to look at Y/n. "Do you know why I’m telling you this?"

Y/n shook her head, lifting it from her knees, trying to crack the tiny cramp.

He smiled. "I… while you were on that date, I sat and thought about it. Maybe it’s time for me to move on too. And now that I’ve acknowledged stuff I was too scared to before, I think I am ready."

His eyes held something so soft, so vulnerable as he gazed into Y/n’s eyes.

"Look, I don’t know how to say this without sounding like a complete creep and like an asshole, but I’m hoping you won’t judge me, but it’s fine if you’ve changed your mind and-"

"Just say it Rhys." Y/n laughed, already feeling like she knew where this was going.

He sighed. "I… do you want to go on a date with me?"

Y/n grinned. Flustered Rhys was something to cherish. "Sure, why not."

He perked up. "Really?"

She nodded. "As long as you actually want this and I’m not a replacement for Feyre-"

"You’re not, I swear! I’ve been feeling different towards you for some time now, I promise-"

"I believe you."

He blinked. "Really?"

Y/n nodded, and he relaxed, resting his head on her shoulder.

"This was easier than I thought it would be."

Y/n giggled.

It really was easier than expected.

Maybe love wasn’t bullshit after all.

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

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Rhysand Taglist: @kennedy-brooke @hnyclover

[pjsk-headcanons]

i think we should get more theater kid kohane. like imagine early on in vbs akito still doesnt believe in her singing abilities so challenges her to sing a whole song without breathing. and theres very few songs she knows the whole way through and well enough to sing them faster to make it. so she sighs heavily, resigns herself to this fate, and quietly whispers "seventeen seventy six. new york city." before looking up at him with the most determined eyes and singing at the top of her lungs (while staring directily at him) "pardon me are you arron burr sir that depends whos asking oh sure sir im alexander hamilton im at your service sir i have been looking for youimgettingnervoussiriheard you name the princetown i was seeking an excellerratedcourse of study whn i got sort of out of sorts with a buddy of yours i may have punched him its a blur sir he handles the financials you punched the bursur yes i wanted to do what you did graduate in two and join the revolution he looked at me like i was stupid" (this section very pointed) "im not stupid." (BREATH) "so howd you do it howd you graduate so fast it was my parents dying wish before they passed youre an orphan of course i wish there was a war then we could prove that were worth more than anyone bargined for can i buy you a drink that would be nice while were talking let me offer you some free advice" (this section said with regular rythmn bc it is a crime not to) "talk less. what. smile more dont let them know what youre against or what youre for you cant be serious you wanna get ahead yes fools who run their mouths off wind up dead" "a yayowyayoa what time is it" (finger guns toya) "showtime!! like i said ayayowyayayow yo im john lawrence in the place to be a two pints a sam addams and im workin on three ya those redcoats dont wanna believe that i will bam chickabam those hats till im free a oui oui mon ami jmmapelle laffeyete" (i dont speak french idk man sorry) "the lancelot of the revolutionary set i came from afar just to say bon swa to the king cassoutire whos the best say moi brah brah i am hercules mulligan upping it loving it yeah i heard your mother say come again ayy kinda hard to have intercourse o'er four sets o coursets wow no more sex pour me another brew son lets raise a couple more to the revolution well if it aint the prodigy of bryston college arron burr drop a verse drop some knowledge" (BREATH) "well good luck with that youre taking a stand you spit imma sit well see where we land well the revolutions imminant whadda stall for if you stand for nothing burr whatll you fall for o who are you who are you who are you o who is this kid and whats hes gonna do i am not throwin away my shot i am not throwin away my shot yk im just like this country im young scrappy and hungry and im not thrownin away my shot imma get a scholarship to kings colledge prolly shouldnt brag but dawg i amaze i astonish problem is i gotta lotta brains but no polish gotta holler just to heard with every word i drop knowledge im a diamond in the rough shinin piece o coal tryin reach a goal pow'r speech unimpeachable only nineteen but ma mind is older these new york city streets gimme colder a shoulder every burden every disadvantage i have learnt to manage i dont have a gun to brandish i walk these streets famished the power to ponder to spark a new flame but damn its gettin dark so let me spell out my name i am the ay el! ee ex! ee en dee! ee ar we are! meant to be a coleny that runs independantly who needs britan keep shittin on us endlessly essentially they tax us relelntlessly then king george turns around and runs a spendin spree they aint never gonna set our decendents free so there will be a revolution in this century and to me he says in parenthisis dont be shocked when your history book mentions me i will lay down my life just to set us free eventually youll see my acendency!" (BREATH) "do you want me to keep going because i can" "i am both impressed and horrified."

kohane proceeds to teach toya the entirety of six. theres a specific line that gets stuck in his head every time and kohane spits out her drink when toya mumbles "all you wanna do, all you wanna do baby - touch me, love me, dont say maybe" while running his hand through akitos hair (who is oblivious)

minori and kohane scamper away to a hidden corner of miya at lunch break and shiho walks in on them singing a combanation of cringy idol songs and overhyped theater songs.

also she rearearaeearreally likes beetlejuice. vbs have a warmup where they take turns singing the song thats stuck in their head at that moment. kohane glances around. an gives her the thumbs up. "MOM. DEAD MOOOOOMOMOMOM I NEED A LITTLE HELP HERE. are you really in the ground? cause i feeeeeeeel you all areound me are you hear dead moooom dead mom. in skipping the middle. CAUSE DADDY'S IN DENIAL, DADDY DOESN'T WANNA FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL HE WANTS ME TO SMILE AND CLAP LIKE A PERFORMING SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAL IGNORED IT FOR A WHILE BUT DADDYS LOST HIS MIND FOR REAL FOR REAL FOR REEEEAAAAAAAL YOU WONT BELEIVE THE MESS THAT WEVE BECOME DUN DUN DUN DUN" toya sitting there sweating and hoping that neither an nor akito can understand english that well because it would most definately bring up some unwanted memories.

and because its canon. she also LOVES wanadashow. going to school with OOTORI FUCKING EMU makes her a mess every time. her current vocal stims are "haha! you are king~" and "RULERRULERRULER ITS SHOW TIME HIGHERHIGHERHIGHER ITS SHOW TIME CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY" and that just repeats until someone ducktapes her mouth

oh and! if someone asks her what time it is she'll always say "it's showtime." arata does this too and everyone thinks she picked it up from him. nope. its both a wanadashow and hamilton reference. (he'll never admit it but arata is also a hamilton fan. he saw it while he was in the states and something about it entranced him. probably how well the rap is written. it heavily inspires a lot of his music and kohane makes the homophobic dog face every time. thats why she was so surprised in walk on and on with soumas unfinished track!!!)

no i dont project onto her whahahahahahahahhahaahaaaaaat. my theater kid phase is coming back. - 🎲 anon

.

[mediumgayitalian]

fic rec friday 3

hi!! welcome to fic rec friday. every week, i pick five fics i have bookmarked and rec them with a little review. check them out!

Memories Made by zjass06

"Hi! I'm Will! You're my new neighbour!" the blonde boy beams; Nico frowns in turn, peering curiously at this Will. "My ma' says not to talk to strangers," Nico replies as he sits himself upon the grass. Will plops himself down next to the dark haired boy, who giggles so purely it makes his smile contagious. "I'm not a stranger, I'm your neighbour! You live next to me now and we can be friends!" Or A few snippets of Nico’s life and how his friendship develops with Will, all within a much treasured treehouse.

childhood friends to lovers will ALWAYS be elite. to me. and the centrality of this treehouse in this fic is so fucking cute bc they absolutely are the type of nerds to have a treehouse they use well into their late teens lol

2. Mafia by @buoyantsaturn

Nico is the most terrifying mob boss in New York, and Will is his live-in doctor. A Mafia Au

MY FAVE SOLANGELO SERIES TBH. like is it toxic a little bit? yeah. did the second one make me squeamish? yeah. in the 6/7 years since its been posted, have i read it literally DOZENS of times?? you betcha. idk man theres something about the danger of it all. the insane mob boss and the doctor hes whipped for. SO SO much fun and so so so romantic

3. you stormed into the battlefield (of my heart) by fedyaism

“Doctor Solace,” he says, “would you be willing to tend to a foe?” Will blinks. (He had practically expected everything but this.) “I’m sorry?” “I need you to heal an enemy for me. Can you do that?” Grace asks in a tone that lets Will know that he wasn’t really asking. “An… an enemy, sir?” “Yes. I will send him to you.” “Of course, General.” (What else could he say?)

this ends ambiguously but i am Choosing to believe they find each other again and live happily ever after for ever and ever bc im a weenie. its just...man fuck the military and i got no fondness for war BUT this isnt real and ergo i can sigh dreamily at love that is inherently kind of tragic and all the more desperately beautiful for you, yknow??

4. It's a Process by @oh-hush-its-perfect

When Nico comes out to Hazel, she really isn't sure how to react. Of course, she loves her brother to pieces, but something is holding her back. It takes a while to get over old beliefs. It takes a while to become accepting. It takes Hazel a while indeed. A.K.A. Nico is gay and Hazel can't wrap her head around it.

contrary to what the summary may lead you to believe, hazel is NOT at all homophobic in this fic. in fact her number one goal at all times is to be supportive, even as she struggles, and you know what? thats more important i think. her love for her brother is so transparently obvious in this one, she spends like 8k words doing everything she can to make SURE she is loving and accepting!!! hazel i love you. also the campfire scene had me giggling fr

5. three times everyone thought they hated each other by lizamarri

and the one time everyone realized they didn't ~ ft. capture the flag, big three kids sparring, will healing nico and being sassy about it, and more. enjoy!

NOTHING hits as hard as flirt fighting. truly nothing. also 3+1s are my weakness i stg, theres just something about outside pov and the sheer clarity of how much they love each other and love driving each other up the wall lmfao

thank you for joining me this friday!! happy reading!!

[ultrastellara]

dilf zhongli x gender neutral reader modern au

tw: ITS A BIT SUGGESTIVE AT THE END, HOWEVER THERES NOTHING EXPLICITY EXPLAINING WHAT HAPPENED!!!

summary: you been working under zhongli for many years. from the moment his business started to the promotion of his company having more than one building in the city, you carried him through and through. you could never imagine not leaving his side unless something personal were to happen to you.

"i see, can i have y/n here to help decide the choices ?" zhongli stated. the meeting between the fatui board and archon board, your company were arguing about how to collaborate together on a project. this matter was mostly going to happen just because the fatui company needed some cash, well a ton. the members of the fatui company were currently occupied by some of the members of your company.

you heard voices of venti yelling at scaramouche about the incomes of how if they did a wine collaboration it would hit off so well. along with venti came kaeya coming in mentioning about how expensive could make it. however scaramouche scoffed them off saying that they werent taking this serious.

but remembering where you were asked to, you had gotten up and walked to your boss's place in the meeting. waiting patiently for him, to call your name out but since his eyes were focused on the screen mostly, you had to catch his attention.

"sir, i am here" you replied firmly. you saw him motion you to stand up and come see what he was looking at. you were expecting something really important. however when you were looking at his screen, you saw many options of boy clothes on a kid clothing website.

"which one would you think it'll suit my son?" he asked you.

you knew he was married but got divorced a few years ago, still knowing he had his son and his youngest a daughter. he never told you their names but you always looked forward to seeing him whenever they came by to the office.

"sir i think the one in the top right corner will suit your son the best" you paid closely to your outfit choice, knowing that his son would suit it the best. it would match his hair but as well his bubbly personality.

"thank you, my dear" he said, knowing that you would end up walking back to your seat in the meeting. he called out,

"would you be a dear and grab my morning coffee from my desk?"

this was the first time you ever heard him ask you an offer like that. surely you were his assistant but majority of the time his coffee was always with him. suspicious, you thought.

"yes sir. ill be right back" you grabbed onto the writing pad you had in your hands, bowing to him quickly before heading to his office.

the walk on the way to there wasnt too long but it managed to get you spaced out because you were wondering why he was making you do something like this.

it's strange, you kept thinking. strange because that cup of coffee he has is always placed on his desk. you then thought to, oh no? am i a bad assistant for not realizing his cup wasnt there ? no it cant be? is he testing me?

you saw the sign of his name placed on the right side of the door. knowing what you would expect to see in his room, you gently opened the door. turning the handle and entering in, as you walked in you quickly closed the door.

you were greeted to seeing the many photos he had of his children and himself. as well some photos of your staff and yourself in it. walking over to his desk, you saw the cup he had. the coffee was already gone. shocked as you were, cusses came out of your mouth knowing he was messing around with you.

"son of a-" you were about to cuss until you heard someone else entering the office.

"excuse me but-"

"oh y/n? that's where you were " those golden amber eyes he had were catching your eyes as he made eye contact with you.

"sir? oh yes im sorry if i had taken a while to get your cup but you see-"

"no need to worry, darling. i knew the cup was emptied from the start" he chuckled, while seeing your face turn from a smile into a 'wtf' face. the door was shut once again, leaving the two of you alone in his office.

"sir was this a test?" you asked curiously. you were making a much more serious face than before. his eyes paying attention from the frown you were making to the way your hands were firmly holding onto the writing pad.

"oh no, i wanted to talk to you about something. i apologize for scaring you earlier, my dear" he was much closer to you than ever before.

"then what did you need me for? shouldnt you be in the meeting right now?" you kept asking him all of these things. he really did wanted to talk to you about something however you werent giving him time to.

"shhh, y/n" he said, using his pointer finger to close your mouth from further talking. "remember i still wanted to talk to you about something ?" he reminded you.

some guilt came into you knowing that your boss was trying to tell you something however when you were about to speak up about something.

his hand gently cupping your cheeks, pressing his lips against yours. as nervous you got not realizing your boss of 4+ years was kissing you. you werent sure to kiss back because you didnt know what was truly going on in his head. the way he calls you 'darling' a lot. the way his eyes makes it's way to seeing you, he gets a bit exciting knowing you're here with him. yet however you never know what he feels about you.

hes told you the things he appreciates about you but has he ever given you some mixed feelings? you remember those times where women and men had been wanting his attention during those parties your company has every year. the feelings of some jealousy here and there yet you always brushed it off.

knowing where he is in workplace and even outside of his home. you wouldnt ever fit in to be in a romantic setting with him.

you couldnt replace the last lover he had right?

you would be wrong once you realized that you enjoyed this feeling. the feeling of wanting to be closer to him.

you kissed him back, dropping the writing pad that was in your hands. wrapping your arms gently around his neck and allowing him to place you onto his messy desk. the kiss was sweet yet had some fiery in it. it felt like you both wanted to do this before.

the hand that was on your face was then replaced onto your thighs. you both continue to kiss until he pulls away. seeing the flushed face you had right now, as he was in between your legs.

"oh my, i didnt think we would end up like this " he said, teasing you since he saw the adorable face you were going to give him soon.

"mr. zhongli i-" you were then cut off by another kiss. surprised by the position you two were in currently, your arms were pulling him closer to you.

"listen, y/n. if you stayed a bit quiet, i think i want to show you what i been keeping a secret for a while now" he said, continuing to kiss you until you let out a small moan by accident.

you had pulled away this time, slowly feeling your cheeks burning. wanting to cover your face with your hands however you looked away, not wanting to see his reaction.

"woah there, y/n. i didnt know you were enjoying this. you been thinking about this for a while, huh?" he gave you such a smug look knowing he was right about how you viewed him.

"sir..this is a bit new to me but i-"

"no darling, it's okay. i want you in the same way you want me too" he reassured you, gently making you look at him with his hand. "you want me?" you asked softly.

he nodded before placing his mouth onto your neck.

"i do, my dear. so please allow me to love you in the ways i shouldve a long time ago"

epilogue:

his chest was pressed onto your face as you woke up. currently where you were wasnt the workplace. instead you were in his bed in his house. knowing what happened between you two during that meeting you assumed you mustve passed out. however by the looks of it, the soreness you had proved that you two went a bit out.

not paying attention to your surroundings, you saw his eyes opening up.

"hmm..y/n?" he asked.

you looked at him, with a flushed face. damn he looks so good right now, you almost were to scream until you felt your forehead against his chest. you were quietly listening to his heart beat, not knowing he was looking down at you.

"you hear that, darling ?" he asked you.

you nodded knowing what he meant, his heart was beating a bit faster ever since you two finally were able to share an intimate moment like that.

"hey mr zhongli.." you stated.

"hm?"

"are we..um..you know, a bit more than working partners now?" you nervously asked.

he laughed at seeing you being this nervous, however he also admired the way you were acting towards him now.

"yes, darling. we are more than just business partners " cupping your cheek gently, while admiring all the marks he left behind.

he took note of how you two acted during your heated moment. started from the time the meeting was going to end until he was the last person leaving the building. after you had gone asleep once your session finally ended. he managed to tire you out so much even though they were breaks between every or few sessions in between. he never could imagine doing this with you until he realized a few days ago, of how a certain man from another company was talking to you. jealousy spread through his bones yet he kept it in not wanting to disrespect you and the man you had talked to.

however seeing the way you were looking at him through out those days before he decided to make a move. a part of him, wanted you with him further more in his life.

"i love you.." he said.

[carlostck]

been listening to an old playlist lately and ahhddhhd Too close by sir chloe is so. harumi.

"So predictable Just like what they told me You're staring at the floor Tail between your knees Fragile like I've never seen You're pretty when you do not speak Fragile like I've never seen You're pretty when you do not speak

You're so unsure You're so afraid Don't tell me to listen When you got nothing to say"

gfsgdhdb Im going crazy can u tell. I DONT EVEN KNOW IF U LIKE HARUMI THAT MUCH but gghdhd i like sharing songs w u. anyway!!!

how u doing!! hows the mlb watch.. theres a new london special thing and im trying to get back into ittttt!!!

Never heard of Sir Chloe! Eugh you're so right... This song is catchy too!!!

I do!! She's one of my top Ninjago characters... Even if you're talking about a character I don't like that much, I am very open to hearing songs or just rambling in general!!

I'm good! Just went rock climbing (fingers hurt so sorry for any typos)! I've hit season five and there is a lot going on, so struggling to keep tabs on everything. Still praying for more Chat Blanc💥💥 Real curious about Papillon's ring and hope that gets explored! Literally, why does the camera zoom on his hands when he gives Adrien an order? Why did he not listen until Nathalie (so bad at names; might be wrong), who was wearing the ring at the time, repeated his father's order?? Oh, that's interesting!! Hope it's entertaining! Will probably get there soon!!

Didn't even notice this was you when I first opened my inbox! Love the new picture!! A lot more colorful

How about you? How was your day???

[fictionfixations]

Playful Land Book 4

Spoilers for the Playful Land event, I hint a little at the ending, also vague-ish spoilers for the next main story update. also i kinda vent a little 💀

actually ace has been thrown in the air like twice and the other time deuce didnt think of a way for him to landbut leona thought of cater to catch him this time 💀

DAMN ORTHO CHILL

ernesto really calling us spoiled (which i mean is true but also hey im also magicless 😭) and also lilia's literally a war veteran, and its not on EN yet (will be next update) but some people have been such assholes to him just because he was an orphan like SIR dont get me wrong that doesnt make any better or worse i just really dont like people comparing like trauma or like privilege or something and if you do that you give me an excuse to do it back to you like hello?

like yes we are still very lucky but he acts like we cant have shit happen to us too. like i mean yes we ended up in nrc but that doesnt mean the students were any nicer (ive been reading the novel and i finished the prologue so far yippee but man to me it demonstrates more how all the students are kinda jerks) nor did we get an opportunity to learn until we literally faced a life or death situation under fear of being expelled into a world where we had absolutely nothing to our name

um. i mean theres grim? who didnt seem to have a very good life before we met him but he did also make it in but also like sir being so angry about it doesnt do anything but prove them right 💀 like holding grudges is natural and everything but being so pissed off about it for so long and leaving it to fester is only going to hinder your growth in the future ?? like okay so they didnt accept you you had a shitty life. well clearly they're blind right? forget about them and just live your life they literally dont matter

sir i used to threaten myself to do schoolwork on time because i felt like i would be judged if i did anything less?? and then i got really depressed (..i kind of was contemplating what was the point living and doing schoolwork just felt worthless. like i didnt think id live this long so i stopped seeing a reason to do it but here i still am yippee! 🎉) and shit and it didnt work as much and i got called like a disappointment ..and then i just kinda stopped caring LMFAO like ok worst fear lived now who gives a shit? not me. im the lowest of the lows i dont give a shit about your opinion. and i do this thing where if something is mentally fucking me up for so long i just. stop caring. i just cant be bothered cause its such a drain and i dont wanna feel it anymore so i just dont. like okay fuck those shitty people but arent you all the better without them?? they wouldnt have treated you any better if you were able to live up to it, it wouldve just been pressure upon pressure weighing you down and for all i know they could be the kind of person to be like a one point off on a thing means you're a failure and its like dude WHO CARES and like they wouldve blamed it on you and YOU wouldve gotten depressed like oh im such a waste of space i cant even do this right and its like. its better to just cut toxic and abusive people out of your life instead of wondering on what ifs where you leaned into what they wanted out of you and thinking they wouldve treated you better when it only wouldve made it worse

literally if they threw you out because you didnt meet their expectations or you didnt have magic then they wouldnt have cared for you if you did you wouldve been miserable

in all honesty i really dont feel sorry for ernesto. like okay youre just whining now of missed opportunities you had years ago and like oh if only i could so and so and its like DUDE get your shit together and actually do something instead of focusing on the past so much. thats not the cause of all your issues. like bruh im not the guy who decided to work for some rich geezer who could care less about you, and getting your own hands dirty for when all i know the moment it all comes out that guy could blame you because oh i didnt know these puppets were people! i could hardly tell! and like for all i know they couldve been really rough in the money department and they didnt really have a choice. but like. ……uh-huh. you sure you dont have any other option? for one i know how this event ends so x for doubt. two, kalim would literally be so happy to fund you guys like💀

LITERALLY grim LITERALLY

like dont let that you got rejected become your sole defining trait because thats dumb as fuck and you arent going to gain any pity points where life suddenly decides to be kinder to you because thats not how it works

………….what would some monster know????

SIR I BET MONSTERS ARENT EVEN TREATED AS HUMAN THE FUCK YOU MEAN ????

okay i feel awkward yapping for so long when everyones saying my point 😭

kalim i love you so much

[draculagerard]

You know how sometimes I send questions I could easily Google to your inbox because it’s more fun to hear a friend talk about their interests than see what the internet says?

Well anyway today it occurred to me that despite having absorbed a lot of spn knowledge through tumblr osmosis, I know basically nothing about Sam Winchester, one of the main characters of the show. Like I feel like I’ve got a at least a vibe of what Dean is like just from like … seeing memes and Destiel posts and stuff, but I could not describe Sam to you. Which feels like a shame.

So what’s his deal? What’s his personality like? What kind of character arc does he go through? Any Sam Winchester hot takes?

HII yes I would absolutely love to talk about him. so basically to explain his Thing, I need to give a little lore drop (bear with me).

Before he was born, his mother made a deal with a demon to let him in her house in 10 yrs. So when Sam was 6 months old, Azazel came into the Winchesters' home, fed baby Sam his own blood (and then killed Mary). Now, this ritual basically gave Sam psychic powers that he discovers in his early 20s, which is where the show begins.

Now time for an essay. Im sorry you ask me about Sam Winchester and I cannot shut up.

Anyway his whole thing is that he is The Freak and that he feels Unclean. And even before he knew it was the demon blood, he was like there is something inherently wrong and dirty about me and stuff. Theres a quote that kind of puts together all the scenes of him talking about that

"I remember looking at this picture of Sir Galahad [as a little kid] , and, and, and he was kneeling, and— and light streaming over his face, and— I remember… thinking, uh, I could never go on a quest like that. Because I'm not clean. I mean, I w— I was just a little kid. You think… maybe I knew? I mean, deep down, that— I had… demon blood in me, and about the evil of it, and that I'm— wasn't pure?" And then he talked about how something that was slowly killing him was "purifying him".

And no matter what he did or where he went, he didnt fit in. Not in his family, not in any of his schools, and not even when he ran away from home to go to college to live out his "normal life".

Personality wise, he's the kind of guy who always can make other people talk about their own feelings, and he acts all sensitive and kind, but also he's a fucking hypocrite because he never tells anyone how he feels. It's very fun comparing Dean and Sam because Dean is like No i Cannot tell anyone how I feel and then spills his guts and then Sam is like Sharing feelings is healthy :) and then takes every genuine emotion to his grave.

More on his personality: Overall he's pretty like sarcastic and bitchy but in a younger brother kind of way. In the beginning he started off very angry and explosive and always jumped headfirst into problems. As the show went on, though, he just got visibly exhausted and tired of being angry and became the full opposite, where he's the one who never got angry while Dean became the angry one.

Also, veryyy important, he is the Nerd One. Like his catch phrases are "according to the lore" and "so get this", both said while looking at his laptop screen, reading through a bunch of stuff. He's the one who does the research and shit.

Actually wait. youre a tma fan. I can explain him very easily by telling you that he's like if Jon was a SPN character. Yk how Jon starts getting powers and it's a horror thing and he has crises about how much he's human and how much he's a monster. Exactly that. And also yk Jon's guilt thing? Sam has that too. Ofc with the human/monster element, but also you know how Jon blames himself for starting the apocalypse but in reality he was just a pawn who actually set off the last trigger? Sam did that EXACTLY and blames himself too. Also the nerd thing lol.

Sam Winchester hot takes? I have literally so many but none of them will seem hot with my curated tumblr. Like saying that Sam's thing about being impure is literally just a metaphor for being queer. Not intentionally queercoded but wow is it fucking queercoded. Oh actually a hot take is that I love late-seasons Sam as well and will defend him to my GRAVEEE.

I have so much to say but no way can I fit it all on this post soooooo... hope that gave you a basic understanding of him !!!!

[themediummultiverseau]

What do the ghosts miss most about being alive?

(i really tried to draw for this, and it just didnt happen, so im going to just write it out,sorry! - theres a chance i might add it in later)

Nightmare and dream - each other, the silly games they played as kids, and the fact that they never got to say goodbye

Cross - family, his siblings meant the world, he doesnt miss his father though

Dust - doesnt miss anything - "They were right to kill me, i only ever hurt people - i got what i deserved." (he does miss being alive, but hes repressed it so much he thinks he doesnt.)

Ink - His art, he deeply regrets that he never got to finish his last piece, sure, he has his ink forms, but his missed the feeling of a paintbrush between his fingers, and the taste of paint on his tongue

Killer - moving about, he HATES being stuck in one place, he want to move somewhere (someone tell this poor man he can move on halloween lol)

Horror - Food.... Okay, he really misses getting to spend time with his family, they used to come back fairly regularly to pay respects, but theyre all dead now, and he really misses them, he wishes he could have told them hes found a new family now, he knows theyrd be happy for him

Lust - feeling wanted and being able to hug someone, he's all alone and just wants someone to tell him he's loved regardless of who he is and what hes done

Geno - "Oh, i love being dead! ...But i do miss being able to smell the blooms of flowers in the spring, and see they want everything comes to life after the long winter.... but i dont miss anything, no"

Error - "Nothing" Definitely not his family, no sir, he 100% doesnt miss the petty sibling squabbles he'd have with fresh over stupid things, or how theyed drive Geno and their mum up the wall with the antics, no.

[botanical-feverdream]

As long... as you do not report it... to the coalition.. I could make an attempt sir :) I am... not very used at these kind of things though...

All I said was that... if nero does not seek a cure, due to his now dangerous infection, I would have to prioritize his file... which... is true... if he affects robin... he will affect others.. letting him walk is a dangerous decision I do not understand.

[class-1b-bull]

hi!

sorry if this makes you uncomfortable but 1B with a spouse/friend who is trans?

you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to :)

I actually really like the request! Im trans myself so I love the representation <3

Not proofread we die like men

Awase -

Hes the aggressive straight friend every trans person has. Like if youre a trans man hes screaming HEY MY MAN, LOOK AT THIS DUDEEE and shit like that everytime he sees you <3 (same works reversed for other trans ppl I just used trans men as an example <3)

Sen -

Genuinely interested about your struggles and the process of transitioning (if you choose to do so) he wants to help you anyway he can! You will not feel disphoric when hes around.

Kamakiri -

He 100% asked if you wanted him to give you bottom/ top surgery. Hes your ride or die if you want him to he will. Im sure theres a youtube tutorial for it. Will punch transphobes for you <3

Kuroiro -

The second you tell him your trans he goes on this long ass emo rant about how "to be born in the skin of another is the deepest type of dispair." Or whatever. Supportive asf tho.

Kendo -

Shes so sweet and helps you with anything you need <3 (if your enby she will ask nezu if UA can invest in gender neutral bathrooms and omg)

Kodai -

"K.." thats it. That was her reaction to finding out. She treats you the way she always has. Nothing can make her change the way she views you (you will always be her friend I mean lol)

Komori -

She somehow knew you were trans before you knew. The second you told her she just said finally as she pulled out a trans flag to give you lmao. Shes so sweet about it <3

Shiozaki -

Once you tell her she tells you the entire bible story where jesus helped a trans man (i think it was a trans man im not sure) and how she would help you the way he helped that man <3

Shishida -

The first thing he does is clarify your preferred pronouns, name and what prefixes you prefer (sir, mam, mr, mrs, mx, ect.) Afterwards he will just gently correct people if they accidentally misgender you <3

Shoda -

He buys little gifts for you as a congratulations on coming out (candy, pride pin ect.) He also helps with anything you need (he tries to anyways)

Pony -

If you were a girl shes just worried about what will happen to yalls girl days, overall tho she is really happy for you! The two of you definitely go shopping together to help you find cool clothes that fit your new self!

Tsubaraba -

"Poggers!" He made a trans flag on your minecraft world to put in your base. If you encounter a wild transphobe he throws a pokeball at them while saying shit like "gotta catch the clown!"

Tetsutetsu -

Hes a little confused but he got spirit! "This is my buddy, hes a man!" "I was a man but now im a woman tetsu..." "WHAT?! so you double trans now!?" Hes supportive as hell tho (also i just used trans women as an example it can be switched however)

Tokage -

"Thats cool." She immediately started making you a custom 'bad bitch' playlist. She gives off the same energy as the 'I got you a gay cake cuz its rainbow so it gay cuz ya gay' woman

Manga -

Nothing changed honestly, you told him, he started using your preferred name and pronouns and thats kinda it. He did give you skittles on a convince store run "cuz ya gay" (hes a little confused but he got spirit pt.2)

Honenuki -

You are not allowed to feel disphoric around him. He will make sure you feel comfortable and happy with how you are >:( if youre in the process of transitioning he makes sure to point out if you seem more mac/fem (if youre fine with it i mean)

Bondo -

I like to think he knows how to sew, so he definitely thrifted a bunch of random cheep cloths and sewed them to make you a custom trans flag with your preferred name engraved in the corner <3

Monoma -

He will beat the shit out of anyone that comes at you (its actually kinda scary) even on the internet if someone purposely misgenders you he is messaging them their exact coordinates lol

Reiko -

She is so nice about the whole thing <3 she uses her quirk to scare the shit out of transphobic ppl and she makes sure to help you when you feel disphoric <3

Rin -

He relates to the hate you can get for being trans so he knows how hard it can be (in that aspect at least.) So he makes sure to check in with you often <3 (also why do transphobic ppl see dudes with long hair and assume theyre trans? Lmao)

My cat brought a big ass bug to me and just sat it on my lap when I was writing this lmao.

Shes a little shit sometimes but I love her <3

[atherix]

Be prepared for the most u filtered brain vomit because i havent discussed anything with anyone

Im bashing my head into a brick wall

I POST MIDNIGHT SUMMERS ART AND NOT AN HOUR LATER MIDNIGHT UPDATES

AND THERES FAW LORE IN IT TO, IM GOING TO PLUNGE MY HEAD INTO A RAGING RIVER GOD DAMMIT

Ahem im totally normal about them

Blondie is there, traumatizes cub and just dips wuthout saying anything. I cant decide if i should be happy or upset she didnt say anything, she just left without being weird and creepy with cub

Like sir you come across another fae and ypu just leave, no banter what so ever, you just up and dissapear

FALSE YES PLEASE, i know nothing about false, but the bat and the bombs and i feel like there was some false lore i didnt pick up on because i know shit about her and her character

Cub knowing how shadows work and how territorial clamming works better than mumbo is the funniest shit tonme and i love it

Also cub immediatly knowing something was up and then mumbo being all of us explaining how gods arent fucking immortal and hes been one fprm3GOD DAMN DAYS WHERE HIS FATHER WAS ONE FOR FUCKING YEARS GOD DAMMIT. Sorry im very passionate with this concept

And cub just knowing to leave because shits gonna go down and he doesnt want to be there for either them arguing and being pissy with eachother for the rest of the night. Or them bickering and then just end up making out or some shit, idk man seems like something theyd do

FAE KING, LIKE HOW HALF A PERSOB CAN GO FOR DAYS ABOUT MUMBOS DEAD KIDS ILL GO FUCKING MONTHS TALKING BOUT THIS DUDE, hensees cub as another son because he was like a son to him . Cub was there when scar left and so cub was probably the most he had left of scar and so he keeps him around

FAE COURTS

ATHERIX I FEEL LIKE YOUR TRYING TONKILL ME WITH THIS DEAR GOD

alright ima stop and go collect thoughts with the children, loved the update have a splended night. You amazing person, and getmsome sleep and water

Hehehe this is DELIGHTFUL

HAHAHAHA SEE ME RUB MY HANDS TOGETHER AND CACKLE EVILLY

I love Fae lore hehehehehe <3 More Fae lore coming up, too 👀

I'm not normal about them and I am not gonna hide it <3

Makes you wonder what she's thinking huh 👀 She just dips without taking advantage of Cub and Mumbo being weak......... hmhmhm mmmm

I LOVE FALSE. 10 outta 10 could kick my ass and nigh on unkillable and I love her 😌 Hehehe women hitting bombs around with baseball bats, my weakness

Look, my mans Mumbo here barely knew he could control his shadows beyond shadow walking places and it took him a good 100k words to realize he had a Coven and was now a Vampire Lord, give him a break <3 (it's everything to me, too LMAO. Cub, who just happens to be related to the Death Pantheon just because Death favors the Illagers the Vex are contracted with, knowing more about the Vampire's magic than the Vampire himself hgfkk)

YESSSSSSS Mumbo immediately realizing HEY GRIAN THERE IS A FLAW WITH YOUR LOGIC hjkfdjksjk look, I am so glad because I am too. Just because you became a god, sir, does not make you a walking deus ex machina 😔

Cub like ✌ "im out" bc he don't want no part of that LMAO

HJGDJHGDKJFJK I LOVE THE FAE KING SO MUCH just ask Belle I have gone on entire tangents about him <3 Also thank Belle because they managed to threaten talk me out of a certain plotline LMAO Yesss Cub is like another son to him. Bonus son as it were. And you're right, Cub was there when Scar was not 😔

YEAH COURTS. Which I feel like I still haven't fully explained but that's neither here nor there 😌

HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE

Thank you so much <3 your words are much appreciated :D I had fun writing it <3 I did sleep and I have plenty of water thanku <3

[a1li-ens]

hello if ur still. willnignto talkab slow damage i would lvoeee to knoe ur thoughts on the other love interests and also towa himself as a character ! :3

IM ALWAYS DOWN TO TALK ABOUT IT YIPPEE!! ⭐

adding a cut to this i have a lot of thoughts lol (💖・ω・) (includes spoilers)

👨‍⚕️taku: OK HE IS MIXED FOR ME i like him in routes other than his own LOL i think hes rly fun as like a semi normal acting guy in weirdo town. Its cute he cares a lot about the ppl at the clinic and i like the scenes where he hangs out and eats with towa and rei so much its cute they are a silly family 😭

i think hes really fun as a nice dad or at least big bro in towas life but that is why i dont like his route romantically its WEIRD THAT WAY LOL... bro u have known towa way too long for this.. please fall for some other dilf or something!! his bad end was too much for me and i have a strong stomach !!! (less so the bugs and more the meth slave thing .. get a better hobby sir!!)

but otherwise i like him! him doing meth warcrimes besides the bug related ones are interesting and the whole mansion part of his route was rly cool and fun to read!! also hes just funny i love that hes always responding to things like -_-????

i like the breaking bad pictures.

🍰Rei: I LOVE REI SO MUCH so cute 😭 his was my second fav route in general! hes so sweet and its so cute how much hes always thinking about everyone 😭 i also love how he has so many hobbies he has!! I didnt quite like his route as much from a plot/worldbuilding perspective as much as some of the others+the moneymatch stuff in general was kinda not as interesting just because i think its like. nothing super new or exciting i guess! but im a character writing person so that doesn't bother me lol!

I rly love his self love / acceptance journey.. i am emotional.. even if I visually hate his stupid tiny haircut!! i hope he can lean back into some of his not traditionally manly side after he is comfortable with gender stuff 🥺

I think as a romance route his was rly nice!!! it was cute and sweet and its sweet the ways they support eachother 🥺💖 towa feels very like affectionate in a cat way towards him its cute! I like them as bffs maybe more they are just too cute that way 😭 i want to b reis friend as well

his bad end is GOOD !! towa looks COOL i like the corset ribbons.. i want to see a full body CG what else has he done!! wasnt expecting rei to be the eye pussy one but ill take it .

🐈Madarame: OK.. first half of his route i rly hated him SORRY TO FANS but thinking back on it and playing more i dont hate him now LOL I feel like even after playing i don't know enough about him as i'd like! i want to know what this bitch does in his spare time other than towa lol ?? its cute that he likes cats and i liked him and the boys all eating pizza!! the towa infiltrating in the cute suit part was rly fun too! i wanted to see him talk to mayu and kotarou and stuff more he doesn't talk heaps in general tho hfjhfh

regarding them as boyfriends i am a sappy romance person so their type of affection isn't my normal preference but it suits them! I think that why it was kind of hard to get through the start besides me never rly liking the ⭐problematic guy⭐ route in VNs LOL! but im glad in both endings they are so happy but was a nice surprise! yeah boys u have fun!!

🐇 fujieda : FUJI... I WROTE A LOT IN THE LAST ASK trying to think of new info i didnt write there. I love that he is actually kind of an airhead LOL i feel like he would be rly worried when towa said he caught ligma...... him before he teams up with towa is funny too like how often is he hiding in that concrete pipe???? is he comfy?? i love him.

theres prob more i haven't said about him but ill leave it at his lovingly drawn bazongas for now.

🎨towa: I LOVE TOWA.... LIKE OK... my skrunkly.. initial impressions i love every manslut character by default and he is very nice to look at. his personality is so fun omg what a bitch!!! i love that for him.i am biased because its also my dayjob but him being a medical receptionist is so funny LMFAO he seems terrible at it go king give us nothing !! obviously his hobbies make him rly fun to read about, i rly like his art hes good at it!!

plot and everything else wise UOUGHhhhh he makes me emotional. i am having trouble articulating about him because of this KJHBJHB no matter the routes i love watching him open up his feelings a bit 😭 the way he actually cares about people close to him even though hes been trying to convince himself he doesn't need other ppl gets to me 😭 his vulnerable moments make me emo... him wanting to see fujis scars in the shower especially got to me 🥺😭

his backstory stuff is rly well done too i think his mental health is rly well done in general 😭 but its kinda refreshing its not all magically better either afterwards boys got a lot to work through!!! but i am so glad he can smile in fujis route.. .uuuuu😭😭😭

I rly like how hes upfront and shameless about being gay and a weirdo yeah king own it!!! him being snarky and cheeky all the time is cute too!! i have more to say but i need to work out how to write it. he is important 2 me💖

-----

quick thoughts on non datable character stuff:

Ikuina - I LOVE HIM SOOO MUCH i like guys who are so horny they become useless. his euphoria scene is really great LOL i know they dont but it would be fun if he and towa could be friends afterwards. can someone hack the game give him a route .

asakura- HIS TASTES ASIDE i think he was actually really interesting and cool to read about!!!! the angel thing was dope.. towa getting the wings.. so COOL

the guy in reis chap 2 mizuno was it??? was that his brothers name??? anyway i wasnt that interested in him LOL not much to say here

Mayu - SLAY HIS ENDING IS SOOO FUNNY.. stan a guy with like 3-4 clear nendoroids i like him

kotarou- ending should have been in a cleaner bathroom !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Eiji- I LOVE EIJI HE IS SOOOO CUTE AND FUN

SORRY TO WRITE AN ESSAY THERE IS SO MUCH I DONT THINK IVE EVEN ADDRESSED HERE LMFAO GAME TOO GOOD!!

[solardick]

Mr. Sir has a whole new walk. Detrack from mimicking the ways of an older sibling. Pretending to be cool. Mr. Sir being an Aries Pisces mix. The brother being a leo cancer mix. One can see the idealization of a younger more impressionable youth upon the older more charismatic influence. Considering there being no connection in that light upon the “parental caretakers”. Too lost in their own bs to be available.

The man, if one may call him that, gave e pause to the idea of marriage. When a cousin got married after joining a church. He said, “ theres another one lost.” One christmass he was there late, made everyone wait through the whole morning, for him to finnaly show up at the tree looking like the whole thing was a joke and he didnt want to be there. Mr. Sir, mimicked he’s emotional position and tossed out the magic for a disheartened response.

He taught me that as long as one is charismatic and lively. One could be a total peice of shit. And people don’t care.

Pet killing mother fucker.

And it feels off but, feet are the most maleable body limbs. And years of walkimng and sitting in habitual way and the posture adjustitself yo be as level as it can with what its given to endure.

You dont see anyone raping his

Life. God knows

He deserves it.

Or you can be like me and framed up into a certain disposition. Which you camt gove in to because its isnt entirly true.

Yeah, im a huge homo or whatever whippy do.

Sorry i started improving so they fallowed through on another dosage. Gave me a week off or so.

But made sure it was mounting in stress.

But dont mind me. Its inly been 40 straight years of being owned by assholes. And look at hiw sell that turns out

But now that im a queer the probability of finding someone to spend my life with has gone down to a fraction of a percentage.

Well, im out of a job. For the thirtiest fucken time. Start looking for another one.

So much for building a life for myself.

Now that i have dick in ass deasease inhave no will to do anythinv anyway.

Welfare till i hang mysrlf.

Been trying for over 9 years nine. But nope. Theres prescribed plans to rape my life several times over instead. Hahah

Like 20 years under my families thumbs wasnt enough. 5 years of anguish before that. Amd total trash for my entire childhood. Yay! Its great being alive. 9 fucken years of hints to their plans. Always a happy disposition. Strength in superiority over another through knowledge.

People

And power trips over my life. Always been. Forced to see nothing but bs. But i knew at day one. God told me in a dream. When i still had them. Meanwhile, and prewhile, constant of violence in my surroundings. Directly affecting my person intentionally or not. I dont even know anymore. So its all in the same pill. Of intentions. Always been. Disnt matter if it was them or me. Violence cane to me regardless. Disregards for acts and means. Even if i said dont do it. It gets done anyway. But. Yeah. No sleep. Little sleep. Im ok.

Think im becoming so damaged i cant even takenof myself anymore.

If i die the shadow upon will last a generation. Far retching.

Im just gonna shot bad guys in the vagina. Look at me, im part of a culture now.

Guess imnit going i work tomorow. Yay. Mo sleep.

Well lost about 20 % of the hair on my left leg. I dont think its cominng back. Patchy all the way up

My thy. Less so on the right.