#it simply goes because i Told It To Go. and now i need to upgrade bc ive been avoiding PL spoilers like the plague

[masonsbfgaming]

NOOO I DONT WANNA WORK SERVICE DURING CHRISTMAS

[spotlightlowlife]

The plot HAZBIN lost

The hazbin pilot allowed Charlie to have a socially opposing view point and do something about it with pride. She moved to a new locations and started up her own business, still at any time she could call her supportive parents, one may be more willing to listen, one may have an "I told you so" attitude but either way the impression of closeness is there. She was a hardworking person using her privilege for good.

Charlie's goals complemented the secondary plot of the angels dealing with an overpopulation problem, she was the whole solution to this problem, all she needed to do was start up her business that she had the resources to run, she did that, then, all she needed to do was be herself.

This series no matter was always likely to face the one issue major issue, who are the candidates for reform and upgrade likely to be? Probably nobody of the main cast. Now that we have elitism and animosity, chances are this will only prolong this question.

We had yet to meet any angels but like with the demons, she could have faced adversity, she could have faced support.

The angels were robotic copy pastes of eachother, their was plenty of direction to take them in.

Now they're the leading adversaries who don't just professionally deal with the problem that is a crowded hell, but they slaughter because they fear hell toppling heaven but seems to see slaughter as a form of sport, they fear being overpowered and their fears apparently just come true.

Question.

Why would anyone want to be amungst them?

Why would Charlie want to send those she rehabilitated to heaven, which we haven't been sold on at all.

Before, we saw the destruction left behind after an angel mass slaughter, it fit that Charlie believed residents of hell deserved better and better objectively existed, but a prehistoric conflict and war combined with 'chosen one' Charlie strips her of her goals, they are no longer hers but what is to be expected, which stripped of her quirkiness, she's no longer that bizarrely nice and caring person because there's no reason to believe her behaviour is exceptional, everyone is there because they are a loser. The winner in heaven and loser in hell concept tells us nothing about a person, it highlights corruption which goes well with this new conflict we are now sold on. The political elements take away from wanting to do good deeds for little other reason than wanting better for people, furthermore, since Lucifer is now a depressed and misunderstood figure who created this world and his charming wife as good as run it, throw in what we now know about the angels and what's so wrong with this place?

Her parents have a backstory and she doesn't, she didn't to begin with but after years of waiting for an adaptation, Charlie becomes a byproduct in her own show. Her parents get to be mysterious absent figures while Charlie is simply absent fo the most part.

Maybe she's busy ruining a whole hotel? An easy job that nobody is interested in seeing apparently.

It's like Charlie just wasn't edgy enough? She has lost her stable family, unique perspective and choice. Her status continues to account for nothing even thought technically, it has boosted since her parent now built hell and there hasn't been an involved god figure.

No longer is she someone going into the unknown with nothing really to lose but a lot to gain, now there's war and a whole host of adversaries, taking us away from the hotel, those that check in and those who would upgrade.

[talesfromthebacklog]

Tales From The Frontlog: Persona 3: Reload

10/10

It’s titles like Persona that make me go: “God damn, anime is so fucking cool.”

These are people who KNEW what they were doing when working on this remake. My only previous experience with Persona 3 was with Persona 3 Portable. And it shouldn’t be shocking that while good it didn’t have the same impact as Reload did. (Though I did still pick up P3P on Switch through Limited Run! As that was likely the cheapest we would ever see it.)

Reload completely blows P3P out of the park and has asserted itself as my favorite Persona game. (Persona 4 being my previous first favorite.). I completely destroyed this game and am sad the experience is over. (Had to get done quick so I could play Final Fantasy VII Rebirth on release!)

Persona 3: Reload is elegant, mature, wickedly stylish, and very sad. I love well written sad things. I’ve heard people call this title edgy, but that edge is what defines and makes this Persona so great. If not the best. You know what they say. The third time’s the charm! And Persona is an experience, for anyone who loves JRPGS, that people should have at least once.

Join me as I talk about Persona 3: Reload. A story of a teen named Makoto. Who just transferred to Tatsumi Port Island and awakened a powerful force by shooting himself in the head.

Persona 3 Reload is painfully stylish and cool. It’s gotten a lot of upgrades including a new voice cast. Which I think does a better job sounding more natural. Especially Bebe. The old crew did a phenominal job but I just like new performances better.

Also the amount of voice acting we got. Wow. Practically the whole thing has voice acting. Even all the social links. I think that might be a first, but don’t quote me on that.

Then there’s the art direction, which has been somewhat of a hot topic, but I like the new art assets better. The original artwork has an undeniable charm but the new stuff has this great polish.

Though I dare say the older art better lends to the “creepy” tone of the game. The traditionally beautiful anime faces do take away from that a little.

And this new look isn’t just the art assets and sprites, it goes as far as the menu.

I don’t say this often, but that’s hot. That menu is everything. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so strongly about a menu. I would fight a stranger in the parking lot if they told me this menu looked bad. It is so slick and sleek. It hurts because of how good this looks.

This? This gives me math folder vibes. I think this was why I was so much more drawn to Persona 4 in the first place.

Well. Not because of the menu. The menu is functional and doesn’t look awful by any stretch of the imagination. We all know that fully functional is a high bar for developers to reach nowadays.

But each Persona, from 1 - 5 and now to Reload, was a step into stronger art direction. Each Persona contributed something new artistically to get it to its current state of intense stylization. Persona 3 Reload is simply a culmination of all these steps forward. It makes me feel bad for not touching the main Shin Megani Tensei series at all. Because I don’t get to see the artistic history from it that could have contributed to Persona. I’m aware I’m missing out and need to correct that! Ha!

TLDR: Persona 3: Reload is so ✨PRETTY✨.

Then there’s the gameplay. Persona ranks among my favorite JRPGs because it has so much side stuff to do. Persona at its core is two different kinds of games. A life sim and a JRPG. If you get bored with one half you can go hang out in the other. Excellent. Brilliant. Love it. Persona is a great ADHD person game. It also gives the game a nice contrast between the light and dark elements. A narrative rest, so to speak. Also the difficulty modes. I’m not afraid to say I prefer normal mode. Some grinding is fine but I hate excessive grinding in games. I feel it overshadows the game. Though without some grind you just have a glorified visual novel. It’s all about balance and personal taste I suppose. But I’m of the belief that grinding doesn’t make a game hard. It makes it time consuming which makes it look like the game is hard. But this is not the same thing! Persona just… GETS that I don’t want to grind for that long.

I love JRPGs, but I tend to run hot and cold with them. I think a lot of them do really suffer from being too samey in their initial presentation. The style and identity the Persona series has is 100% what kept me playing after a friend lent me his Vita to play. He insisted upon it as he handed me Persona 4 Golden.

He was right. Persona was awesome. Persona 3 Reload makes me feel those same feelings when I had that initial introduction to the franchise. I do feel genuinely wowed by this title. Which I don’t feel often in gaming. My favorite part about it is it is set in the modern era. Swords and dragons are nice, but different time periods come with different ideologies, cultures, and challenges. Persona takes the “familiar” and uses that premise to flip your world upside down. And that each one goes with a different aesthetic.

God I hope they remake or rerelease 1 or 2. Or both.

Anyway.

Persona 3 additionally is just so… sad. Persona 4 has those sad moments too but I just feel those main and side stories hit harder in Persona 3. The ending is a sad gut punch. I love it. Like any great visual novel character interactions and story can make or break the experience. And Persona 3 only managed to sharpen those interactions with the newer voice acting and the retranslated script. The whole feel is a lot less awkward.

Then there’s the music. If you didn’t watch the intro I posted in the beginning, do yourself a favor and do so as you read please.

Oh? You’ve heard the song before? Are you saying you don’t want to listen to this jazzy and funky soundtrack again? Heresey I say!

Oh? You don’t want to scroll back up? No problem fam. I’m gonna post the full track here.

And the whole soundtrack is this good. This is just a taste. Ugh. It’s so good. It is both energizing and soothing. I ask you to listen purely because my words can’t do it justice.

I am recognizing what a mistake it was not to play the full console version and what a crime it is that they ported P3P over Persona 3 itself. It had an anime too, did it not? Like a movie or something?

Let’s not start with the FES mess. They’ve basically said it’s not being included even as DLC. I’m just going to play it separately, and by the good grace of god you don’t have to play the whole game over to play “The Answer” arc. (Which I’ll post an update on that when I do that. Someday.)

I can take or leave the female protagonist. I want a female protagonist, but in P3P she was always kind of an empty husk that you knew wasn’t the “real” main character. I don’t mind games where I play a character instead of myself. But I feel they could do a new unique perspective if they switched it up for Persona 6. Especially since they are nailing down some of the problematic elements of the series.

I’m aware that they’ve changed a lot from the original Persona 3 to Reload. But to be frank my memory has just never been that long lasting or great. I can genuinely come back to most games after a certain amount of time and it’s like playing it brand new over again. A blessing and a curse. But I can remember Tartarus being a bigger pain in the ass than it is now. Tartarus also seems notably more varied in design as you climb. I feel like I am having a distinctly better time than the first time. (I may have to play a brief stint in portable to see if this is true.)

Side note: The Dark Hour as a concept in itself is a topic I want to cover in its own post at some point. This isn’t unique to Reload which isn’t why I’m not talking about a lot of elements like this (Because remake reviews should be more about what is improved) but it was still a genius way to fit in an alternate world.

At the end of the day, and right before the dark hour, Persona 3: Reload had no excuse to fail. The bones of the beast itself were so good. As long as you left it to simmer and caramelize this remake always destined to be great. It takes elements and tricks that made later titles great and Atlus applied all their learned skills here.

It’s stuff the Persona, and SMT, community already loved. And for good reason. It was already a compelling experience and it’s one I’m really glad I came back to. Playing it this way really changed how I felt about the game as a whole. Even without the extra content I’m going to say this is THE WAY to play Persona 3 from here on out. We’ll see if I feel that way after playing Persona 3: FES. But don’t expect to see that critique any time soon.

[f1]

One of the worst days in racing Wolff says Mercedes need to be radical after Bahrain reality check

Toto Wolff has offered a blunt evaluation of Mercedes’ performance across the Bahrain Grand Prix weekend, admitting that early pace-setters Red Bull are “on a different planet”. Mercedes entered 2023 aiming to right the wrongs of the W13 with their revised W14 – albeit sticking to the ‘zero sidepod’ concept – but found themselves behind Red Bull, Ferrari and Aston Martin in the pecking order at the season opener. READ MORE: ‘We’re the fourth fastest team now’ – Hamilton offers honest Mercedes assessment as he admits the team are ‘going backwards’ With Lewis Hamilton and George Russell coming home fifth and seventh in Sakhir, almost a minute away from race winner Max Verstappen and adrift of the third-placed Aston Martin of Fernando Alonso, Mercedes boss Wolff was left to ponder where his team goes from here. “Well, one of the worst days in racing – really not good at all. We’re just lacking pace front, right and centre. That’s the reflection of the tests. The Aston Martin is very fast, they deserve that, and Red Bull is just on a different planet,” Wolff told Sky Sports F1. Given the dominant nature of Red Bull’s one-two result, Wolff added: “I think that is what hurts, because they are so far ahead. It reminds me of our best years where we would just put a second [per lap] on everybody else. “That is the benchmark, but we need to put one step after the other to just come back, and we can do that – absolutely we can.” When asked about Mercedes’ development plan, and whether it is simply a case of waiting for a rumoured update at the sixth round of the season in Imola, Wolff added: “No, I think it needs to be much more radical – much more radical in the steps than just hoping for a three-tenths upgrade.” READ MORE: Mercedes have been taken ‘back to reality’ says Russell after P7 finish in Bahrain One positive Wolff took from the 2023 opener, though, was Hamilton’s post-race radio message to boost spirits in the Mercedes camp, with the seven-time world champion stating that “I believe in you all” as the squad look to make up ground. “It shows the leadership. There must be a lot of suffering in there, because the car is just so unstable, but he’s fantastic. He’s been a massive performance contributor, not only in the car,” said Wolff, before the pair embraced in the Mercedes garage. Mercedes left Bahrain sitting third in the constructors’ standings, behind Red Bull and Aston Martin, but ahead of Ferrari following Charles Leclerc’s retirement from a podium position. via Formula 1 News https://www.formula1.com

[owlight]

monster trio + Law with a partner who calls them a cute nickname for the first time in public & how they would react to it

headcanons

Characters: Luffy , Sanji , Zoro ,Law

Warnings: sfw , fluff

Notes: just writing ideas I had after reading a lot of fanfics this week 😔, not proofread so excuse me for any mistakes

Luffy

Honestly he doesn't mind it ,he is very affectionate to you in public and you calling him some cute nicknames just feel natural to him he doesn't really notice when you first did

" Luffy! Sweetheart! Don't ! Nami gave us a budget this time!" You tell your captain who's dragging you to a restaurant "(Y/nnnnn)! Come on this look tasty I don't think I ever tried this one!" Luffy plead " 'sighs' alright just this one time baby"

Actually everyone else Noticed and they found it adorable how you both interacted with each others (not Sanji tho he is dying from jealousy and envy)

He personally like to call you sunshine whenever he feel like calling you a nickname,which is rare but he does it whenever he want to get something from u ,with puppy eyes and all

It always work cuz you're a sucker for cute nicknames yourself and Luffy picked a very pure choice 😔

Zoro

At first he is embarrassed by it ,only because he is trying to look tough when you're both out together and you make it very hard for him to keep that act up sometimes

" hm sweetheart, do you think we can get to that shop over there? I think they might have what I'm looking for!" you tell him as you drag him with you,Zoro cheeks look slightly pink as he sees some old women calling you both cute couples,he is too stunned to speak so he simply follows u like the sweetheart he is

After that ,he tries to get used to it really by choosing a nickname for you as well ,so he can call you by it in public

He chose "Kitten" and "bear" ,truly depends on his mood,he isn't good at this nicknames thing but he is trying for you

He still blushes when you call him any cute nicknames no matter how long you have been together<3 this man is very sweet at heart

Sanji

He dies he Is very flustered when you do that ,you made this man so happy his heart busted out of his chest and he fell on his knees, you're so cute calling him a nickname Infront of people????

" Sanjiiii I'm tired of walking can we stop for a moment? " you whine as you walk next to the cook who is holding most of the groceries that is needed for the ship "oh alright Sweetie! You should have told you were tired ,we could have stopped at the coffee shop!" He tells you with a rather sweet tone,you smiles at him "thank you for stopping babe,to be honest I didn't think the way back to the ship was that long-" everything else you say to him next is a blur because his brain stopped at hearing you calling him Babe ,like woah fr? You like him like that? Ofc u dumbsweetheart you both been dating for months he actually goes down to his knees as he cry in happiness ,going back to the ship might take a bit longer than you thought

He Doesn't mind ,he actually loves it,he love to call you pet nicknames and the fact you do now yourself? Like yeah ,he feel like achieved true happiness ,like please call him all the cute nicknames ,please ,he want it to be an everyday thing

He enjoys the new nickname thing very much ,he hope you both upgrade it to something Spicer (holding hands in public)

Law

" hey Lovebug ,can you grab some strawberries from that shop for me? I need to go grab some fish for bepo " you tells him with a smile as you walk away "alright (y/n),be careful" he reply back without actually registering what actually just happened ,but as he pick the strawberries for you ,his brain hit him with the realization,oh

Ngl this man is very stoic(at least tries to be) a slight blush appear on his cheeks as he realize what you called him,a rather cute nickname , lovebug? Should he asks why you chose that to be exact or act cool like nothing happened????

He pick the latter (actually not).he decide this is a new step to your relationship with him,he will start calling you "love" as payback

Which isn't so bad as he think it is,you find it nice ,he is trying and it's admirable for sure ,he will try to come up with a creative nickname for you later on so be prepared for that

He did ask you months later why do you call him love bug and the fact you told him it's because of how he cling to you whenever you both hug made him a bit flustered , you're really cheesey ,smh ,he loves u to death

[twistedwonderlandsimps]

There's a movie called Jack and the Cuckoo Clock Heart where a boy is born with a frozen heart and a witch replaces it for a Cuckoo Clock, headcanons for Yuu in that situation? There's three rules they have to follow, don't mess with the clock, keep your temper under control and do NOT fall in love.

Oooo, this sounds interesting! I checked the wiki to see what the plot of the story was, both book and film, so I’m gonna perhaps mix both of the plot there since the two have a same premise but different endings. You could say that the book was a bit darker/sadder(?).

===

I'm just here to mix-and-match different kinds of Yuus with different kinds of personalities to see what monstrosity I can make. That being said,,, Clock Heart!Yuu brainrot!

So, congratulations, Yuu has been born healthy and kicking!

Or not, cause Yuu was born on the coldest day ever which caused their heart to become frozen solid, rendering it unable to beat.

Yeah…

Fortunately for Yuu, a kind doctor who runs a makeshift clinic and provides medical services to the poor in Yuu's hometown transplants a cuckoo clock in their heart to save it.

Now Yuu has a cuckoo clock heart.

Also, for reasons only Yuu knows, they’re now living with the kind doctor who gave them a cuckoo clock heart and whom they see as their mother.

Their mother gave them three rules that they always must abide by to avoid their premature death: never touch the hands of the clock, control their temper, and never fall in love.

Good luck with that…

So, away from the minor exposition and on to Twisted Wonderland!

Yuu’s clock heart ticks loudly that practically everyone in the entrance ceremony can hear it.

They notice that there’s a cuckoo clock on their chest but they can’t exactly make out if it’s an accessory or, y’know, a part of Yuu.

They probably think it’s an accessory since who the hecc sees someone with a clock on their chest and goes, ‘Ah, yes. That clock is attached to their heart.’

Besides, who are they to judge Yuu’s fashion choice?

Everyone has learnt to associate Yuu’s clock heart with them like how they associate Rook with his purple hat.

Anyway, moving on.

Yuu was definitely very distressed when they heard from the mirror that they couldn’t go back home simply because their world didn’t exist.

More importantly, what of their mother?

She must be so lonely and worried of their whereabouts.

These thoughts promptly made Yuu’s clock heart beat rapidly which made the cuckoo bird pop out since it was connected to their heart and also the reason why they couldn’t lose their temper.

Crowley becomes curious when he sees Yuu’s clock chiming and asked where they got a marvelous piece of workmanship from.

“My mom made it for me. She always tells me to keep it safe and to go to her if it looks like it’s about to break but what if it does? She’s not here. I don’t want to die.”

This statement, of course, alarms Crowley and he learns that the clock was connected to Yuu’s heart.

Although Yuu had a key to wind up their clock if it did ever started to show signs of stopping, it wasn’t a guaranteed solution.

Crowley assures them that they wouldn’t need to worry about themselves being in danger.

They’re perfectly safe in Twisted Wonderland!

He lied, like a lying liar he is.

He also said that if they wanted to, he can even upgrade the clock for them to make it stronger and withstanding since the technology in their world was very advanced.

Just look at Iida with his hologram screens or even Ortho himself.

Yuu declines since they have to follow the rules their mother gave them.

Giving their heart an upgrade means having to touch the hands of their clock which their mother always told them not to do.

Crowley leaves it be and gives then gives them a place to stay.

So, as it turns out, Yuu’s heart clock isn’t, unsurprisingly, safe in this place.

A day or two in and they already had to fight an overblot.

Yuu was but a simple, tiny hooman and their heart can’t take the constant danger life throws them in.

The cuckoo bird that keeps popping out of their clock whenever they feel overwhelmed agrees with them.

A little bit of time skip here and now both Yuu and Grim were official students in NRC.

Also, Yuu’s a bit gullible and naïve since their mother sheltered them a bit too much.

Make of that what you will.

Also, since now both Yuu and Grim are official students, they get their own uniforms!

Well, a ribbon with a gem for Grim at least.

Thankfully, Crowley gave Yuu their uniform which already had a hole to fit their heart clock through so that saved them the time and effort of cutting it themselves.

Crowley, somewhere in the background: “Aren’t I so gracioooous?”

Yuu might relate a bit with Riddle about needing to follow the rules but they think that he can be lenient a bit since his rules mostly seem harmless.

Anyway, living with Grim in Ramshackle dorm, he was bound to learn of Yuu’s cuckoo clock heart.

Yuu decided to just tell him since he was going to learn about it anyway.

In fact, they weren’t even trying to hide it in the first place.

People just assumed the antique-looking cuckoo clock was a part of their fashion statement.

As Yuu was telling their story, Grim got curious about the clock and suddenly jumped over to them to paw at it.

Cat instincts, my friends.

He accidentally forced the clock hands to move forward.

Yuu’s body tensed before they spasm along with the ticking of their clock as if trying to fix itself.

Grim was surprised and jumped back, wondering if he broke the human but after a moment or two later, Yuu relaxed and the tick-tock of the clock resumed smoothly.

After this, Yuu told him the three rules that they needed to follow.

Grim: “So the first rule of your heart’s to not touch the hands? Why not just put a glass over it like a normal clock?”

Yuu: “Well, that’s because—“ pauses and squints their eyes

Grim… Grim has a point…

Ace, Deuce, Grim, and Yuu all share one (1) braincell and because the will of the world wants it (aka me) Grim gets to be the one responsible and hold on to that braincell.

So, the first rule and the second are pretty straight forward.

The first rule can’t have Yuu or anyone forcing the clock hands to move because its beat and ticking’s connected to their heart.

The second rule can’t have Yuu losing their temper, or emotions in general, because it made their clock tick rapidly and their mother said that their heart wouldn’t be able to take this. Feeling strong emotions and feeling overwhelmed would make the cuckoo bird pop out.

Now the third, ooooh boy…

This one depends on the factors.

If we’re going by a romance route here rather than a general route then, dang.

Good luck to Yuu trying not to make themselves fall in love with anyone in NRC.

That place’s full of very appealing character archetypes and tropes that I’m sure there’s bound to be one they connect with.

Which is rather unfortunate because falling in love would cause them to feel emotional and physical turmoil since their heart wouldn’t be able to take it.

Imagine them trying to kiss the love of their life but they’re so in love with that person that their heart clock just goes haywire.

Also, when all is said and done and the others realize how Yuu’s clock works, Yuu’s emotions became easier to read.

Not that they weren’t easy to read before but give them a break.

Yuu meeting their favorite person and the cuckoo bird just pops out.

Every.single.meeting.

Even if they just greeted each other, hecc, even if they merely passed by each other in the hallways.

Pop! Cuckoo birds gives away their feelings.

Can’t have things in Twisted Wonderland, smh.

They also gives the key that winds their clock heart to that person to show how much they trust them.

Also, after Idia has gone through his character redemption arc because I refuse to believe he won’t have a redemption arc, he becomes curious about Yuu’s heart clock and asks them if he can observe it.

They agree and here he finds out that…

The clock heart was entirely unnecessary?

He’s confused. Why did Yuu think it was necessary for their survival?

He’s scanned it multiple times, ran various test and��� Yuu really didn’t need it now?

Sure, they may have needed it for the first few months of their life when their heart was frozen solid because it helped it beat.

But they don’t need it now. Their heart can beat fine by itself now.

Yeah…

Yuu’s mother didn’t tell them this to keep them sheltered because she didn’t want them to leave her.

[pandaluc]

Love and Envy, all because of you.

When you like somebody else rather them

Characters included: Diluc, Kaeya, Childe, Jean

Warnings: not proof-read, very slight mentions of wine and fighting

g!n reader

Diluc

Diluc falling in love is something rarer than winning the lottery. So when this man falls in love, he falls really hard. Stutters, awkwardness, stares, and try-hardness. He does these all as long as you are in his sight.

However, he took such a long time to confess because fear had took over him. He feared to lose you as well, just as the way he lost his father. And well, to his surprise, he regretted not confessing earlier.

He decided to go work in Angel's Share and creek. The door swings open with Kaeya's arm around your waist, and you staring lovingly at Kaeya's eyes. Diluc's mood definitely got worse. And the fact that yoh are with his brother? He knows he has no right to get upset, but he can't ignore this burning flame in his heart the moment he saw the both of you.

He tries to maintain his composure, but deep in him was a mix of lots of emotions. He is annoyed, upset, sad, and disappointed all at the same time. And well it's not too good of a reason, but he might start treating Kaeya more harshly than before.

He is envious. In all people in Teyvat, why his brother? He can't help but stare at the both of you, thinking on the many decisions he went wrong. Thinking those opportunities he should've confessed but didn't. And the more he stares, the more his madness gets replace by sadness.

He lost again one of the few people he always treasured in his life. Though he knows that he should be happy because you are laughing joyfully in Kaeya's arms, but he can't help but imagine him being the source of your smiles.

Ever since, he will start to avoid you and will throw out his anger in paperwork and hilichurls. He distracts himself a lot, and makes sure he is very busy so that you will get off of his head and heart.

If he has to talk to you, he will make sure to have a stern face with a cold voice. He will do everything simply to push you away from him. And sometimes, he would say offensive words he didn't mean just to push you away. He does realize how much you'll get hurt when you and his friendship dies, but deep down in him he knows that this is for the good.

Kaeya

Ah yes, Kaeya, a very charming person and surely, lots in Mondstadt thinks so too. He is also a flirt and quite social, a reason why you both are friends for a very long time now.

And in his thinking, maybe it won't be such a bad idea to perhaps upgrade your relation to one another. It took him long enough to realize that he had grew feelings towards you.

He would worry a lot when you get hurt. He would make sure that nobody makes you feel uncomfortable. He started to be careful of his duties as the Cavalry Captain just so that he could see you once again. Heck, he even tried his very best to sound genuine instead of flirty when he compliments you. He was even prepared to quit drinking if that's what you find in a man. Sadly, all of his goodness, to you, was just friendliness.

After lots and lots of thinking if he actually have feelings for you, he finally decided to confess. Not until you came running up to him, continuously talking about this man you know that you fell so in love with. "May I know who is this man you fell in love with?". He took his chances but sadly, the name you said was not his. Disappointment filled Kaeya's heart, but at the same time, he found it funny. Funny, that he spent so much time making sure of his feelings that he didn't even get the chance to confess. Funny, how his confidence suddenly broke down when he knew that you had feelings for someone else.

He wanted to tell you that maybe he was the one for you. But, you looked so happy talking about this man you fell in love with. And kaeya is a smart man. He knew at that very moment that he didn't stand a chance. And that he will never be with you.

Even so, he agreed helping you to convey your feelings to the man you love. If it's only friendship you and he could have, then he will take it rather than being acquaintances. He'd remind you here and there to not get your hopes so high for this man, but everytime he does so, you force to him that you are sure of your decisions.

Because of you, he had gathered so much pain in his chest. Much pain that only wine could temporary wash off. During the evening, he'd tell you that he will be doing captain duties when in reality, he goes to his home drinking all the wine he could trying to forget about the pain you had caused him.

In times where you talk to him, he'd still seem normal and as if nothing is hurting him. But deep down, he just wishes to wrap his arms around you and be the man that will love you until the end of life.

Childe

You and Childe had been very close. He was comfortable with you. He wasn't afraid to show you his downsides, and the times where he cannot do anything but pour tears out. He did not want to hurt you as well. As much as he found fighting fun, he did not want to fight with you, ever.

That is when he realized that he had fallen in love with you. He denied it to himself a number of times but he just can't stop thinking of you. "Are they safe?" "Do they need anything?" "What if they feel alone?" "What if I lose them?". The moment he realized, he wanted to confess. He wanted to be yours. But he feared that him being part of the fatui will be a hindrance to your relationship and may affect your well-being. After all, he rarely gets time to stay and spend time with you.

But the moment he felt the feeling of envy, that is when he thought to himself that he will indeed confess and not give you up. While he was in Liyue's woods, he saw you walking with this man he does not know. He saw your hand holding someone else's. He saw your eyes full of love while staring at someone else's eyes. That exact moment, he decided to meet you as soon as possible and confess his feelings.

He was aware that it might make things awkward and that it might break the both of your friendship. But he wanted to at least do what he can, and take his chances. Some would say he was desperate, but to him, he was simply hopeful. He was hoping and wishing that you will be his.

And so he tried. But he couldn't. He felt scared. He knew he did not stand a chance. So instead, he tried to convey his feelings through actions, not through words. And he hoped to all of the archons and celestial gods that you will realize how much he yearns for your love.

Though in relationships, he doesn't get possessive and jealous easily.. Even if the both of you are just friends, he quite had become just a bit possessive and protective of you. How could you blame him after all? He really wanted you to be his, and for you to know it. He was willing to give anything and everything to you. He would even quit the fatui, despite his loyalty to the Tsaritsa, if that was the reason why you cannot love him back. Sometimes, he'd use his words to hint his feelings for you. "Is that man really all that? Don't you think that I may be better after all?" "Don't keep your hopes high though, he may leave you one day". However, you all took these phrases simply as a friendly way. Or even in a platonic way. After all, there was still a glimpse of a non-seriousness in his tone.

He had thoughts of using his fatui harbinger title to scare the man loving you off. But remembering your smile when you talk about this man, he'd rather set you free to make you happy than to see you all his with sadness in your face.

It cannot be avoided. You and his friendship was slowly but very slightly falling apart. He started to bottle up emotions and hide them from you. You started to spend more time to with your man, and less with him. And it saddened and angered him. But after much thinking, maybe it was good after all. Now that he spends less time with you, maybe his feelings will drift away. Just maybe.

Jean

The acting grandmaster of the Knights of Favonius. Always so busy with work, and sometimes pressured to help others that she would try to do more than what she could. It was a very stressful life for her, barely getting a chance to rest and take a breath. But you went to her life. She admired and appreciated you oh so much. You would remind her to always eat and sleep. You would do your very best to help her in her duties, even if she insists that it is alright not to do so. You cared for her so much that she cannot help but get feelings for you.

It was when you made her realize that she should live a life the way she actually wants to. It was when you convinced her that she is not alone when it comes to protecting Mondstadt. It was when you were always and always there for her, she realized how strong her feelings gotten. But Jean is quite the shy and quiet type. No matter how much she trusts you, she could never get herself to express her romantic love for you.

And alas, the day she never though would come happened. You had told her that you indeed have a relationship with someone else. And at that day, she felt very devastated. She knew beforehand that she never stood a chance. She knew how much opportunities of confessing she had missed. She thought she was prepared for the day to come where you are with someone else. But she thought wrong. She was listening carefully to your words. Your words of excitement and joy towards that someone you love. Of course, she pretended to be so happy for you. But if you listen closely, you could hear a hint of sadness in the tone of her voice.

The moment you left her and locked the door of her office, she looked back at her paper works and started to drown in her thoughts. So many "what ifs" and "whys" in her head that she cannot hold her tears back no matter how much she tried. She knew it was pathetic to cry over one person that has a relationship with somebody else. But for some reason, she felt the same pain she feels whenever someone in the knights die.

She wouldn't necessarily avoid you. But the moment she sees you, she suddenly gets tense out of nowhere and tends to avoid you without even her noticing. If you called her out for it and ask if anything is wrong, she will simply make her exhaustion as an excuse. You thought that it was because of paper work and duties, so you tried to help. But those nights where she slept very late was because of her uncontrollable thinking and crying caused by you and you only. She would also make herself busy and interact with other people more. She would basically do anything to keep you out of her mind.

But of course, she is still there for you whenever you need something. She is always willing to lend a hand, even if it is for a future date of you and your partner. If you feel negative emotions, she will be there to listen and try to help if you wish. She may be disappointed that you chose someone else than her, she knows how to make sure that her emotions will not cause any harm to you and to your significant other.

Author's Note

I've been receiving lots of support lately in my posts and in my ask box and for that, I am very thankful <33. I know I don't post so often so my apologies for that. But nevertheless, I want to tell y'all that I appreciate each one of you so much! You make my day brighter. Ily, and don't forget to take care of yourself! Eat, hydrate, sleep, stay safe!

[forbiddensaintessandsinner]

Her Digital World

-Prologue: 9-

_____________________________________

For about the whole hour and a half of the school tour, the last floor was similar to the last hall of Fame but a little different. There were different decorations and banners for the dormitories one by one.

“This is the Hall of Founders, so it mainly tells a similar story to what Pherea had told you about earlier. Each of these statues shows one of the founders of the original eight and later down the line the rest of the dorms. Most of the other rooms are off-limits aside from the secretary, where all the paperwork is done and the classes. I recommend never to knock on the janitor’s office, simply because Shadman… is a weird one…" Amalia explained, once again I heard the janitor’s name was mentioned…

Uh-huh… I’ll keep that important part noted, he already gave me quite the entrance from yesterday, already.

After the last and final comment, Amalia picked up her megaphone once again.

"This concludes the school tour, for more questions ask the other staff and you can roam around freely now." She shouted loudly enough for us to hear her, it seemed that she was a bit drained from explaining the tour and was already walking down the stairs to the secretary’s room.

The other students including myself and the five ghosts had decided to go back to the dorms. It was rather a long day for now.

_____________________________________

*Location: Tetravania Dorm, Freya’s room*

The five ghosts and I returned to Tetravania afterward, so we decided to rest a bit for tomorrow from now on, I’m currently in my room.

I'm sure the ghosts are busy playing around, doing probably pranks, or playing games for the time being…

My thoughts started to enter my head, as I remembered the previous events…

-Tetravania... A forgotten dorm that has been overshadowed by the other dorms... Makes me wonder how I got sorted here...

After becoming prefect of the dorm, and also meeting five odd ghosts who are also first-years like me, it will take some time for some adjustments for this dorm that I'll be handling.

But for now, at least if there's time to spare... I just needed to prepare before the scouting tomorrow...

While things are resting easily for tonight... I'll check some things that are needed to be upgraded around here.-

Quickly after taking a quick shower, and decided to wear my other hoodie instead of my favorite. I explored around the dorm, whether there was upgrading just in case.

I checked the dorm as I got my notepad, it going to take a while.

.

.

.

_____________________________________

*Half an hour later*

-I've already listed down what needed to be upgraded, god that gave me quite the workout. It's like I'm exploring instead of checking off something that needed to be fixed.

About the cash that I needed wouldn't be much of a problem, I have some prepared for some that are needed on the list first, and the rest can wait in line.

But there's something that caught my eye while exploring the dorm... It was a larger door that was sealed shut, I couldn't open it. It was a very odd door though... Plus it's made out of hard steel...

When I tried to open it by hand but with no half-myth ability being used, my wrist joints were about to break for a minute…

There's something odd about that door when I left it alone in that hallway, which no one goes there... A strange yet unpredictable shield-kind of aura was coming out from it... Something that a normal ghost couldn't get through it…

I bet there are tons of mysteries in there… Waiting for just to be discovered, but that aside… There are other things to handle first.

.

.

.

_____________________________________

*Location: Tetravania Dorm, Freya’s room*

As nighttime fell while laying on my bed wide awake, I can hear the sounds of the five ghosties resting peacefully in their rooms… The only thing I’m hearing is the sound of Akabei snoring loudly just a few blocks away from my room.

For some reason… I can’t sleep. After tossing and turning from side to side of the bed, I didn’t feel sleepy at all. The only thing I’m looking at is the ceiling of my dim room… Of course, it’s dark in here. I’m planning to fix this room with a nightlight but I’m fine without it.

Since I couldn’t sleep… I should probably check that steel door again since the others are now asleep.

Quickly hopping out of bed, and wearing a simple jacket I won’t feel cold for tonight through my pajamas, I quietly tip-toed to the door.

_____________________________________

*Location: Tetravania Dorm, Hidden Hallway*

Staying silent like a tiny mouse, I finally arrived at the steel door. The bedrooms are pretty far from here, lucky that no one can hear my trying to open it again for the second time…

Alright, here’s goes nothing…

Once again I held the door’s handle and started budging it, in hopes that it opens. But alas, after pulling and pushing the door, it didn’t budge one bit. I wasn’t even impressed for one second.

Oh well then, what’s the use of coming back to open you up? I even bet that you would even for a decade even if I get help-

*Click!*

Just as I was about to walk away from the door, I heard a faint click behind me… Surprised, I looked behind the steel door, holding the handle, and… it slowly opened.

Oh my god… It finally opened… But how?

I didn’t use any magic/abilities to open it, well judging by how sturdy it looked before! But it finally opened… I took a peek at the inside… I noticed how dark it looks on the inside.

Lucky that I brought a flashlight with me and turned it on. It is revealed to be a small room with no windows, and no light switch.

I was a little disappointed, guess all that hard work was all for this. But I noticed something was inside the small room.

It was an egg. Rather a very large egg. It looks like a familiar egg.

Huh? What's an egg doing in there?

I'll be honest, I've never even thought on what's behind that steel door. But now that I've seeing a large familiar egg… This is rather a surprise for me than finding just simple pirate's treasure chest.

But makes me wonder why is an that egg doing in there all by itself? I can't just leave it alone…

Carefully, I held the egg. It wasn't heavy, in fact it was rather lightweight. I carefully carried it back to my room.

_____________________________________

*Location: Tetravania Dorm, Freya’s room*

I placed the egg on a nearby couch, as I sat down at my bed looking at the egg.

It has a very unique design you ask me, a shade of light lilac purple with star sparkles as it's pattern. It looks regular and it has a simple design.

I walked over to the egg as I touched it gently, as the silence around me continue to grow

You poor little thing… It's must have been tough to be in there for so long… I'll take good care of you, I promise.

Then I gave the egg a gentle heat Pat till- It started cracking.

"Huh?"

It's already hatching. Right now?!

For just a few minutes, the egg continues to crack just till something or someone comes out of the egg.

What I'm seeing right now, is a young girl whose appearance looks like a 4 or 6 year old kid. She has silver/grey colored hair… And she has a pair of two fox standing straight and has a small tail.

Her hot pink colored eyes were getting me quite surprised, the little girl who had hatched from the egg was now looking at me…

"Ma… Mama…?"

.

.

.

What?

______________________________________

In the honor of @kurov3sochouse who made this meme! XD

[aeempress]

Apritello Express Evidences, part 1

Greetings, Apritello enthusiasts and attention! Here comes a loong post is written by totally nerd. You've been warned. Here we go.

The thing is that Apritello is a double-edged sword. The series shows us established friendship of these two, give us a lot of content with them. We can see development of relationship through interaction between the characters, their reaction about the situations they are put in. We can sense their synergy and bound through the show.

Donnie and April have incredible chemistry, and both options, brotp and otp seems fine to me.

But let me tell you why I ship them.

Apritello is the kind of pairings, which consists of small details, hints, that's hidden, but if you're sharp and attentive one, you will notice that. Apritello has a strong foundation: the best friends trope.

And from the very beginning, it works as planned.

When I start watching show, I could say that April and Donnie are best friends. It is worth noting that April is like an older sister to the other brothers, more of a sisterly figure than a friend, but with Donnie she behaves somewhat differently, namely, as best friend. Obviously, she sets him apart from his brothers, although girl tries to pay attention to all of them equally. And Donnie behaves as well.

Dee's battle shell designs for April needs as well as his. His shell transform into comfy spot for taking ride for April. Special and only for her. Because his bros are not supposed to use it (at least, he carries no one on his back), Donnie carries them by his techno-bó or his limbs.

This tiny detail shows his special treatment to her. April is a very, very special occasion to D. Don does care about her comfort, he accept the way she is. Donatello does not try to prevent her from participating in their affairs because he respects her decisions and is pleased that April can be shoulder to shoulder with him.

D is glad to be at her service.

Yeah, Dee's still playing cool, he has image to perform as tough and coolheaded guy. So Don doesn't show his intentions, interest and feeling to other people (he's tryin', but fails). Because his actions matter. They are always small, hidden, but meaningful.

April, in return, trusts Dee and depends on his tech, even knowing what his inventions are the opposite of success (usually).

Go on. Look at Donnie's facial expressions and body language when April is near.

Donnie seems more relaxed when she's around, happier. His emotional response is always different from his brothers ones.

Oh, and look, he wanted to be first to give her a high three.

They worry about each other. Look at Don. He does worry about her way more than his brothers. Yeah, they all want to protect her, but Donnie is more expressive.

Mayham has no particular sympathy for the brothers: he is afraid of Raph and behaves aggressively, he is indifferent to Leo and Mikey. Mayham immediately takes a liking to April. And then the details come back: he let Donnie touch his neck. The most vulnerable place for any living creation, for a second. Let him to study an important vial without any hesitation. Mayham depends on April trust for Donnie. When everything goes wrong for Don, the little doggie comes to his rescue, just as April would have done. Is the hint transparent enough?

We can see links with "A mystic library", wherе Donnie begins to look for solutions to save April's pet. Yes, this may seem like his next leap, "sit down, I'm smart, and now I'll solve all the problems, watch and learn," but Don says one phrase that opens up the veil of the second plan, what happens behind the scenes. "My illiteral colleagues and I was conducting a mustic research, with a life of the beloved pet, hanging in a bounce".

Strange wording, Donatello. Beloved pet? Not yours, as we can see. I can say, that everything in this sentence is true, but Donnie and Mayham has something more.

Continue. Next episode "Origami tsunami". Interactions are kept to a minimum, as April herself appears for a maximum of 5 minutes in the series itself. But devil is always in the details, dear friends.

When April was attacked and hung up, the only one who excitedly called out to her was Donny. Raph is furious that the thieves have escaped, Leo is frustrated that their plan has failed, and Mikey is worried about the salami.

Yeah, we didn't see his worries about her when she fell, because Donnie is on the mission and must be coolheaded turtle, and second, he's calm because now April life is safe and sound, out of the danger.

Dear passangers, Apritello Express arrives to the next station - episode "War and Pizza".

Bare facts:

1. April has Donnie's number on an emergency call.

2. "Anything for you"

3. Donnie is the reason why Alberto knows April's name.

No one calles April by her name (except for Donnie, while phone call, but Alberto wasn't nearby) it was "Captain O'Neil" by her chief, her badge seems blank. And yeah, you can say, that's just economy of budget, but I assure you: in the first episode we were shown the name of the delivery guy. The animators were not lazy bones and wrore "Stewart" on his badge. So if something isn't there, then it either shouldn't be there, or it really isn't, that's how this show works.

So, the reason explained in the episode. When Al has short circuit, parts of its new code flashed through its mind.

Info about April was in its memory, in its code. Alberto was a lame animatronic, and it seems somewhat outdated. I do really doubt about Alberto is being something smartass machine with complicated AI like Freddy's Pizza's ones. Quite questionable. Donatello fix Al's brain and wrote code, synchronize with his remote control. He put information about Cap O'Neil into animatronic's head. All this pictures are kind of massage: "You was created for birthday celebrations. You are machine, and there concepts of "life" and "birth". Do great party for this birthday kid and April won't be like this". Or, something like that.

So Alberto did - do a memorable party. And he do what his creator programmed him to do, but in his way.

4. In other words, Alberto was a tool to impress April. Don flaunts himself in front of her, stating how he did the upgrade while doing the upgrade, even though April is fully aware of his tech wizard. And his abilities supposed to help Cap O'Neil to finish the birthday party, so she will stay at her job, not fired. All thanks to Donnie and his upgrade Alberto. (Or not)

By the way, Donnie was the last to leave April in ruined "Alberto's". And it's not an isolated case, it is a pattern.

5. They understand each other without words.

First, Donny came at her at the speed of light. Second, she hadn't even finished speaking before Dee was taking Al apart. Third, their chaotic, well-coordinated work? Donnie was a distraction (although he wanted to just take a break from the battle or let Alberto's guard down, while April just knocked him out). Donnie and April are great team, and sometimes the DonniexApril team is much more precise, coordinated, and interdependent than the DonniexBrothers one.

D&A feel each other and anticipate each other's actions, their skills complement each other, creating an incredible synergy of their interaction. They act as a whole, while it's not always possible with his brothers, even though they're family and know each other the way more Donnie know April. And Dee hasn't trained with cap O'Neil.

Donatello didn't show his crush for April. No puppy, loving eyes, no lovey-dovey speeches, no planning schemes (at least, the audience don't see one) . He just want her attention, but stays cool and hidden. D is already her BFF, but still.

The same thing is claimed in 5B episode - Mascot Melee. Donnie has no problems with interaction with idol of his childhood - Atomic Lass. She'd put Leo in a stupor, but Donnie? He playfully challenges her to a dance duel. Yes, he adores this character, who may have become his measure of the attractiveness of others to Donatello, determined his type. But still, he's playing all cool and confident guy, he's really smooth with girls, so you will never see a puppy loving eyes from him. Only two things can betray him at this point: his voice and his body language. Remember, how's soft his voice became for Atomic Lass? Now I want you to remember the scene before, in turtle tank, when April sent guys a meme.

D is the first to respond to the message, despite the fact that Mikey is sitting closest to the screen. And the responding is a little too emotional for this situation, don't you think?

And this face of his. And he comments it. He likes her sense of humour.

The only difference between April and Atomic Lass is that the first one is a real girl who is a friend of their family, practically a member of it; and the other one is just a fictional character. It is easier to say about love for a fictional character, because it brings less problems for a teenager, especially when he is living with three brothers and a father who likes to tease as well. Donatello needs to be careful and outline the area of emotions he could show, so that he does not get hurt.

Now, dear passangers, we are returning to the previous episode, shall we?

Donnie presents to his brothers his precious Turtle tank, but she's gone, and it's really necessary to find out, who has taken her. And the first person to suspect is April.

Something is odd, don't you think? Yeah, Raphael has taken tyre for their "Midnight special", Leo claimed that Donnie's stuff is common, but they are D's beothers. It's natural for family to borrow(stole) stuff of each other. But this trend was not observed in April. She would never steal anything from Donnie, much less steal anything from him.

Actually, there is a good, logical and solid explanation here. April was number 1 in Donatello' suspect list, because he simply told her about Turtle tank. His brothers didn't know he were working at Moon buggy, except Mikey (Orange helps Dee get the vehicle from Repomantis), but they didn't know what exactly Donnie was working for. They didn't know he build the Turtle tank, he kept it a secret, to surprise his brothers. But April knew.

- Alright you! Where's our turtle tank?

- Hi, DONNIE. You have 9 seconds to say, why are you just broke my door.

- Someone's stole Donnie's turtle tank.

- Haha-ow, I see. As your best friend, you naturally suspect me.

- She gets it!

- Oh-ho, don't give me that! You're the only one could taken it!

The only one, because she knew about it.

As Splints said in this episode - "April is not a snitch"

Donatello does trust April and share with her both, sorrows and joys. But we are not shown this directly. We do not see the action itself, we do not see their calls and conversations on the phone late at night, we only see the consequence. We have no choice and take it as a given.

And the way she cooled him down? Fast, efficient, and Donnie seems to used to it. Moreover, she slapped everyone, but still, she throw Don out of window the last. However, why such a large time delay between him, being slapped and him, was throwing out of the window?

And my favourite scene. It was obvious that Donnie had taken the hardest hit (judging by his scream and the way he was putting his knuckles back in place). Don then claims that their inner circle is secure, Mikey tries to make amends for everyone, and April agrees, blowing them a kiss and closing the window. Cute and mean, isn't it? (You're cute! but mean! why do I always go for your type?! - ep. War and Pizza)

Nota bene: Donnie wouldn't apologize to April. Tough, not caring badass boy image, remember? Even to best friends. It's hard to him to express his feelings by using words, he cannot do it in proper way. But he has Mikey, who is so alike inner him. Michelangelo apologizes not only for himself, but for D mostly, because D starts suspected April.

Let's continue: the episode 8B: Hypno Part Deux

• Donnie put "Donnie's blocker" at April's phone to protect her.

It's common thing that your friend install some programs or apps on your device. But you will always ask your friend to do such a favour, and you will always know about what, when and where were installed on your phone.

And April didn't know Donnie had done something with her phone. It was a real surprise for her, to see blocker with "Donnie says no-no-no".

And you know, the interface of his app. The way he tell this current phrase. Donnie could put a huge banner "THE APP YOU WANT DOWNLOAD TO IS A REAL PIECE OF GARBAGE", as usual antiviruses do. But no, voice interface. It makes the app more personal and thoughtful. Because when Don made gifts for his brother, the program was voiced by a computer-generated female voice. Yes, the tank's interface is voiced by Donatello himself, but his voice sounds more like Google than the real Don. And, we talking about HIS BABEY, for a second. Bit still, the point remains.

• Also, Dale.

Dale is nerdy boy in purple, wow, how convenient for making a parallel with certain purple turtle.

But thing is, April doesn't like Dale. He's clingy, remora guy, who has a little obsession with April, even he's not harmful, still, such behaviour freaks girls (and not them only) out. Her classmate is usually tell her what April O'Neil is "his favourite person" and he loves her. There is little that is attractive about this behavior.

So, there is nothing new and unpredictable here that Dale was rejected. Because April didn't, doesn't and won't like him because of his lame personality and strange behaviour. Our girl in yellow do right thing: she clearly sets personal boundaries and does not allow any dubious personalities to invade them. So that's the reason she refuses to go on a date with him at the end. He's weird, obsessed, and she doesn't like him.

Donatello, as far as I concerned from different versions of TMNT, was always a little obsessive with some things. And, you know, putting a blocker inside your best friend's phone seems a little weird, because it's, in simple words, violation of privacy and personal space. And there are people who may regard this as stalking or sorta.

Yeah, for the most part, he gets away with it, not only because April's focus is in a different area, but also because their bond is stronger than April's with anyone else at school.

She has known him for years. Donnie is her best friend. I can't say that it's fine to her when Dee violates her personal space - her phone, but April can accept Donatello's personality in general.

And he does really have good intentions. Donnie installed this blocker, developed by himself only for one reason: to protect personal space April from fishy apps from nowhere, from being hacked and etc. Don knew her too well, how much she depends on stupid apps that will distract her. He also knew well, that he can't be with her 24/7 to fix problems with April's phone, so Dee put a part of himself to prevent any harm in the future.

And again, "Donnie's gifts"'s vibes. Donatello genuinely cared about April, because he wrote, coded, developed, designed, and dubbed it, turned on the database, and installed it all on April's phone. 'cause, you know, writing programs in general is a bit of a hassle, but writing an antivirus is much more difficult, because viruses are changing, and questionable applications are finding ways to bypass. Do you feel how much effort Dee put in for her?

But Donatello didn't mean to fix April, as he tried to do with his brothers. Purple turtle accepts this girl the way she is, and tries his best to play smoothly with April, by adjusting, not being passive aggressive jerk. It's his outstanding way to show his caring nature, soft side.

Remember, small but meaningful actions.

Maybe, Donnie also can foresee that April may be forced to download some suspicious program, but still, it work: he managed to prevent April being hypnotized, even if couldn't be physically with April at the this moment - Dee was working for Repo Mantis, building dog's paradise for Todd. That's why, by the way, Leo and Raph were dragged into this whole situation. Mayham would teleported literally anyone to help his hostess. Donnie just wasn't at the Lair at the moment.

And on this note, we'll take a break for now. Stay tuned, expect parsing of the series, there's a lot to discuss.

Part 2

Part 3

[theplushmaker]

Sonic Headcanon please

Ok, here it is! another 40 headconnons! hope you enjoy!

• Sonic has a lot of family, his first being his biological family Queen Aleena, Sonia, and Manic, his second family (aka adopted family) is Jules The Hedgehog, Bernadette The Hedgehog, and Charles The Hedgehog, (also Scourge is Bernadette and Jules' biological son, making Sonic and him brothers) and last but not least, Longclaw, she was Sonics last guardian before Eggman took over the world completely, oh! And Tails is still Sonic's little brother

• Sonic knows sign language and he considers it his first language

• Sonic likes to view himself as the oldest, even though Scourge is older by ten seconds and Shadow is physically 16 (we are not counting the 50 years he was frozen in time)

• Given the fact that Sonic basically has three moms, he's come up with a way to distinguish them when he calls, he calls Aleena - momma, Bernadette - mom, and Longclaw - ma, he refuses to call any of them "mother" saying "it's too fancy for me"

• Whenever Sonic takes on a new form, they don't just disappear. They instead end up living inside Sonic's mind until he calls them to help (I can make another post explaining this a bit more if anyone wants it)

• Sonic didn't meet Tails until he was eight, which would make Tails 1 at the time (I have a complete timeline in my head, I just need to write it out XD)

• Sonic knows how to play the guitar and would take song requests from Tails. He'll sometimes write songs for Tails as well

• Sonic can sense spirits

• During the Phantom War, when Sonic was captured, he was chained to the wall (think of snatcher from ahit) with his legs locked up (similar to the cuffs Elsa from frozen had, except both legs are in one cuff)

• During Sonic's capture, Infinite would make Sonic feel as though he lost his arms/legs/hands with the phantom ruby's power, he'd also take advantage of Sonic's Aquaphobia by making him think that he was in the middle of the ocean during a storm

• Sonic doesn't want to worry anyone about what happened in the Death Egg, so he's bottling it all up, he thinks he's sneaky, but everybody knows somethings wrong

• Sonic still has Chip's necklace/bracelet in his room on a pillow. He makes sure no dust settles on it

• Sonic may be optimistic and not take things seriously, but there are times, rare as they are, when he sits down, skips all the jokes, and be serious

• Sonic's been teaching Silver sign language. He finds it funny how Silver lights up whenever he learns a new sign

• When Sonic was rescued, he was malnourished, he had lots of injuries, and most of his muscles atrophied. He spent the first few days bedridden and two months in a wheelchair and, after some physical therapy, he upgraded to crutches. He had to stay in the med bay area so the nurses could keep a better eye on him, but either way, he didn't want anyone to see him like that, and those who did don't bring it up, for his sake

• After the Phantom War, Sonic preferred to be outside more often than before. Tails stayed by his side, working on one of his smaller projects

• Sonic considers Mighty, Ray, and Knuckles as his brothers

• Sonic knows how to use a hoverboard thanks to Manic

• Sonic kicks in his sleep if he doesn't run around when he's awake, once he accidentally woke up Tails by breaking the lamp beside his bed, so now whenever Tails knows he didn't run around that much, he moves everything away from Sonic's bed before he goes to sleep

• Sonic and Tails are roommates

• Whenever there's a thunderstorm, Sonic lets Tails sleep with him

• When Tails was younger, Sonic would read him bedtime stories, sometimes even play a few lullabies with his guitar

• Sonic gave up his childhood when he was separated from Longclaw, having to learn to take care of himself, having to fight at the age of 5, lead an army with Sonia, Manic, and Sally a year later, and ending a war at 8, along with taking care of, and raising a 1-year-old two-tailed fox, Sonic didn't have much time to not worry about what would happen next (even though he never shows it)

• Sonic learned to be positive no matter what because not only did everyone around him need the positive energy, but it was also his way of telling a crumbling world under the rule of Eggman that, no matter what he did, he will never stop fighting, and he wasn't going to be knocked down by hopelessness

• Sonic is viewed as a symbol of hope by many (^)

• Sonic loves to tell stories of his adventures to children. It was also one of the things he looked forward to during the first war (aka The Robian War)

• Sonic's quills are sharp enough to pierce metal

• Sonic is an adrenaline junkie

• When Sonic was showing Knuckles around the city for the first time, he recorded the experience. Sonic will never forget the look of curiosity and wonder on Knuckles' face

• Sonic loves to record all sorts of moments, but his favorites by far are the first-timers, like bringing Tails to his first amusement park, or secretly recording Shadow trying chili dogs for the first time, or even Silver's first time seeing rain!

• Sonic doesn't remember the events of 06

• Sonic doesn't do it as often as he used to when he was younger but he does sometimes throw concerts with his siblings

• While raising Tails, Sonic hired Vector (who would be 13 at the time) to find info on Tails parents, Sonic doesn't hear back from him until a year later (Sonic thought he ran off with the money) where he's told that Tails' dad is nothing but scrap metal and his mom was killed during the Robian War, he was also told that Tails name was Miles Prower, Sonic thanked him and paid him extra for his troubles

• During the Robian War, after Sonic was on his own, he didn't meet a lot of hedgehogs, so whenever he had a health problem, he didn't go to the doctor (mostly because the doctor at the hideout didn't know how to take care of hedgehogs and would get frustrated with Sonic) instead he would learn to take care of his health by himself, this has lead to poor decision making

• Growing up wasn't easy, especially when the people around you are afraid of getting hurt by your quills, so when Sonic had his quills bent and pushed into his back during a fight, he couldn't ask someone to help remove them, so he would simply find a waterfall, sit under it and let the water dislodge the quills, afterward he'd go home and shower

• Sonic knows how to make flower crowns thanks to Cream

• Sonic likes to visit the Chao Garden, he also has a chao he calls Indigo

• During a new years party when Sonic was 9, he introduced Mighty and Ray to Vector who, then introduced them to Espio and Charmy. Sonic took lots of pictures of them and gave copies to Vector (Charmy was only a few months old while Tails was 2, and Ray would be 5 when this happened)

• Sonic didn't know how smart Tails was until he made a TV out of paperclips at the age of 5

• once, when Sonic was 12, Sonia tried to get him to comb his quills to be more organized. Sonic learned the hard way by having her drag him by his shoes back inside the castle, but not without dragging Manic down with him since he was laughing while Sonia chased Sonic

[daimonhalos]

More Badlands headcanons: the prequel

I return from the grave to lay upon ye my newfound knowledge: so I was just doodling a sad bbh, then he started looking more like child bbh and it turned into a comic of Bad meeting the other three for the first time and eventually I came up with a sort of backstory for bbh and some initial bonding for the badlands LET'S GET INTO IT

(this is all /rp)

So life in the nether certainly wasn't easy and bad's childhood was definitely fucked up.

One day he had walked away for five minutes from home and returns to it being burnt down and his parents on the ground, stabbed to death.

Baby Bad did n ot have the same attire. His current scarf, he took it from his mom when she died, whilst the sword comes from his dad. That's why he never upgraded from a diamond sword to a netherite one.

Before they died, he had 3 halos, two disappeared after they did and one remained broken until he got over them passing away.

As a kid he had more devilish wings, which became normal angel/feathered wings a little after his parents' death. It had been said that his family had a toll on their heads and only once someone else's vengeance was completed (killing said family), his features would've gone back to the way his species used to be. He wasn't sure much had changed.

(Also sidenote, for once he's on the other side: literally every bad thing reminds him of his childhood in the nether so at least for the first few centuries he's always absolutely nice to people)

Then he goes wild with chaos when hes more comfy and has friends ♥

Once grown up and confident, despite everything he'd heard about the overworld, he decides to find a portal and cross it.

Of course, when he crosses, he is immediately met with three complete strangers staring right back at him, entirely different from what people had told him: there's a biped cat, a diamond person and a creeper hybrid, still staring and blinking at him, quite surprised.

The three immediately notice how he's immediately on the defensive, guarding instead of attacking them immediately

So they understand he doesn't mean bad and they also understand it's his first time out of the nether because of the way he needs to adjust to the sunlight which is the same skeppy had the first time out of the underground (he only ever lived in caves so underground, max/min y levels where u find diamonds.

They take o n e look at bad and go "holy shit. We need to adopt this guy quick"

Bonus: "okay. GOTTA protect this dude at a l l costs. He might be 3 meters tall demon, but he looks sad so he needs to be PROTECTED RIGHT NOW-"

Sam ant and skeppy are in fact together already which means they already are found family tm so they already got each other and helped each other in the past.

Hold the fuck up this is beautiful because. Creepers can spawn or stay in mines WHERE DIAMONDS ARE

creepers can be on the ground as well where CATS ARE BUT THEY'RE AFRAID OF CATS THIS IS ACTUALLY SO GOOD pardon my enthusiasm i had an epiphany

Hence their small backstory: Sam finds skeppy first, then he loses skeppy as the latter freaking bolts around in the overworld for the first time.

Skeppy finds ant and brings him to Sam and Sam is like Oh GOD PLEASE NONONO "Can we keep him" "NO." "Im right here" "he TALKS?"And transforms to his humanoid vers

Actually they keep Ant for a week before he speaks for real because skeppy wants to prank sam

One night a skelly shoots an arrow at ant and Sam has been protective over the two ever since (they are brothers your honor)

Sam stopped sizzling everytime ant is nearby ♡

Skeppy does not feel hot nor cold

He's simply an unbothered king about temperatures ♡

Thats why he wears a crop top anything for fashion,,,/hj (granted to u guys by the great @azaethal)

"We're in a snow biome at least pretend you're cold"" f a s h u n "

"Hey Sam do u think ants like. Constantly naked" "Skeppy it's Four IN THE MORNING. GO. TO sleep" "He has fur in his cat form I know but like. He's basically naked right" "For fucks sake-"

Lol get skepped

It's a blessing when they adopt bad in their friend group cause skeppy finally has a new victim and Sam and ant have some rest. Bad falls for every single prank of skeppy.

The moment skeppy finds out he doesn't swear it's over for you bitches

Then the next problem is when they get into fights and become petty and don't talk to each other like literal kids

Ant and Sam stand there like how does this diamond block fuckin have the guts to yell at a 9 feet tall demon what the f u ck

Is anyone going to make fun of this demon?? Bet. (courtesy of @azaethal)

And that's how our boys know. They just know bad and skeppy are gonna be loooong time friends

ONE DAY THEY'RE LIKE

"YO GUESS WHAT WE JUST DID SOMETHING S I C K"

"WE JUST LINKED OUR SOULS TOGETHER"

"What the ACTUAL F-"

They say it was just for the meme

Deep down they know it's because they got an unbreakable bond

When he joins his soul with skeppy's, the second halo comes back to him. The third will when he finds sapnap and decides to make him his son and take him away from there.

Don't have anything else yet but will add up as soon as I do owo

[thevindicativevordan]

I talked a bit earlier about Metallo here where I went in depth into his background and also what I thought was essential to the character’s success. With that in mind I’m going to now talk about the overall arc I’d like to see Metallo undergo, as well as the type of stories I’d want to see told with him.

Stage 1: Loyal Soldier

This would be the stage of Corben’s career where he still thinks of himself as a loyal soldier and trusts his superiors and the government to look out for him. Nursing hopes that a “cure” can be found one day to allow him to take off the suit, Corben accepts the promises from General Lane that the military’s top scientists are studying him to find a way to restore him to normal. Metallo distrusts and dislikes Superman, blaming Clark for his current condition, and is unhappy that the military have brooked an uneasy truce with “the alien”. He also really doesn’t like the interest Lois seems to be taking in Superman, accusing her of being a traitor to her species, although it’s mainly just a thin disguise for his jealousy that she might prefer someone else over him. He still respects General Sam Lane even though he does resent Sam somewhat for his condition. He dislikes Lex thinking of him as an arrogant pencil pusher, and not very subtly implying that he would love a chance to kick the shit out of Lex for helping to turn him into a cyborg.

At this stage Corben is still a man bonded to a super suit that keeps him alive, more Darth Vader than the Terminator. Conflict with Kal would come from Corben working as the military’s enforcer in much the same way Vader performed for the Empire. I’d have him protecting Cadmus experiments from Superman’s interference, assaulting military targets across the globe, preparing countermeasures against Superman and other metahumans should the need arise, and protecting VIPs that the military deems crucial such as Lex or others. Corben works to further the United States goals as defined by his superiors, and doesn’t question orders. At this stage his purpose as a character is to showcase the ugly side of “The American Way”, to keep the relationship between Superman and the government tense, and to explore the darker corners of Metropolis as Superman’s fight to champion the oppressed of Metropolis inevitably cause him and Corben to trade blows, threatening the fragile accord Superman has struck with his government.

Stage 2: Going Rogue

This is where the split happens between Corben and Sam Lane. Despite promises from Sam that he would find a way to “fix” Corben, in return for Corben continuing to serve as a soldier, Metallo learns that wasn’t the full truth. The scientists who were studying him were also tasked with finding a way to replicate the technology he’s merged with, but to do so in a way that wasn’t permanent. That goal also took precedence over finding a way to separate Corben from the suit, as Sam didn’t want to separate Corben from it until he had a replacement, otherwise he’d have lost his primary safeguard to a rogue Superman. Sam wanted to make more Metallos, an army of them. This pisses Corben off because Sam didn’t tell him this, worrying that Corben would take it as the military studying for a way to replace him. Corben comes to that exact conclusion, and terrified that the military will simply dump him in a cell somewhere with the other “obsolete” tech, and not trusting Sam to have his best interests at heart anymore after discovering the cover-up, chooses to do the unthinkable: The military’s Anti-Superman weapon for if Superman ever went rogue, goes rogue himself.

Corben steals top secret military files about a variety of projects he knew about thanks to his work as a Sam’s agent: Cadmus genetic experiments, Lexcorp weapons programs, Project 7734, and gives them to the one person he knows Sam can’t bully or buy off and won’t assassinate: Lois Lane. Lois publishes these materials along with an exclusive tell-all interview with Corben, and Sam’s operations are thrown into chaos. Sam is called before Congress with many of his initiatives being shut down, Lexcorp’s stock takes a massive hit from all the bad publicity, and in the pandemonium Metallo slips out of the country. The military, Lois, Lex, and Superman all try to track the cyborg down but it proves impossible. Corben simply vanishes.

Months later Corben reappears on the scene as a mercenary for hire, working for terrorists, third world dictatorships, megacorps, and anyone else who can afford him. His goal at this stage is to acquire the money or technology to either fix his broken body or replace it with superior augmentations. He’s very bitter and angry about how he was used, and will often target Sam Lane and Lex’s international and American holdings as his subdued resentment towards the both of them for how they handled his reconstruction boils over. He considers the two of them along with Superman his greatest foes, and seeks to torment all three wherever he can.

At this stage Corben’s role as a character is to act as a foil to how Superman’s relationship with the military and the government has evolved. In the beginning Corben was the loyal tool of the government, similar to DKR Superman, but now he’s become the outlaw. So where does that leave Superman? If Clark can catch Metallo what should he do with him? Turn over to the military where he will doubtlessly be dissected in an attempt to replace him with an army of super soldiers? The stories Metallo is in now can cover a wide range, from terrorist attacks, to corporate espionage as the megacorps hire Metallo to assault their rivals in Metropolis, to transhumanism stories about Metallo’s cybernetic evolution, to much much more.

I’d have Corben gradually replace more and more of his flesh with cybernetics, but I’d avoid the cliché about “Cybernetics Eat Your Soul”. Corben’s replacement parts will ultimately not just restore his ability to feel, to taste, to smell, but enhance them. Metallo would become more superhuman thanks to his upgrades over time. The bulky suit he would wear in Stage 1 would ultimately give way to a much more streamlined look, similar to the current Rebirth design he now sports.

Stage 3: Nation-Building

This is the final stage in Metallo’s arc as I envision it. Metallo has embraced his augmentations completely, fully transitioning into a synthetic body similar to what the Vision has. His new body gives all of the senses he had as a “normal” human, but augments them far beyond what they used to be. He’s more powerful than ever, with weapons that potentially pose a threat to the planet, and has left his roots as a mercenary behind. Metallo no longer wants to be used as a tool by the powerful: Now he has his own goals and will serve no man but himself. 

At this juncture Metallo makes an announcement that shocks the world. Having acquired various technologies over his career as a merc due to his search to improve his augmentations, Metallo is able to create a small artificial island in Oceania. He declares the island to be for veterans and for outcasts, anyone who doesn’t fit in mainstream society. He specifically reaches out to soldiers who have suffered due to cybernetic or genetic experiments performed on them by their countries governments that were done with the aim of providing safeguards against “superheroes” or the Justice League invading and ousting them from power. To the shock of many, multiple veterans attempt to defect, causing uproars in Europe, Russia, China... and America. Many attempt to flee to this safe haven where Metallo promises them care and treatment for their conditions.

Superman is unnerved and unsure how to respond. Metallo remains a terrorist, a murderer, and needs to face justice. But Clark has always been wary of intervening in foreign government’s affairs, yet how is he to respond to a man who has tried to kill him multiple times essentially founding a rogue nation? He decides to investigate and discover whether this nation is what Metallo claims it is, or if it harbors some ulterior purpose. 

The main attribute explored between Superman and Metallo at this stage is Superman’s ambition and his role as Champion of the Oppressed. Metallo acquires followers because soldiers have suffered at the hands of the governments they serve, and often their suffering goes unheeded. He promises to take care of them, to do what their countries won’t. If Superman removes Metallo from power, what does he do with all these soldiers who need help? He can’t turn his back on them, even if it means angering the governments of the world, including America’s. The stories with Metallo would revolve around him building this new nation, Superman investigating the nation and exploring Metallo’s motives for building it, and the fallout of Superman getting involved. I see it as providing a long term home base for Metallo and his plans for the world that elevate him into being a major threat.

[destiniesfic]

132 Hours, Chapter 5:

If I die out here alone, for nothing, I will feel so incredibly stupid.

Previous

Note: There is a content warning this chapter for a brief mention of past attempted sexual assault. The mention comes near the end of the chapter.

Read chapter 5 on AO3, or read below:

Despite the damp cool of the basement, I am warm when I finally blink my eyes open to the dim morning light. Cardan has curled up at my back.

Alpha blood tends to run hot, they say. It plays into the general myth that we are opposites in every way: alphas hot, omegas cold; alphas strong, omegas weak; alphas dominant, omegas submissive, and so on. Scientifically the hot-cold theory has a little backing, though we’re talking an average temperature difference of 0.2 to 0.5 degrees max. But with Cardan so close to me, practically radiating heat, I am almost inclined to believe it.

We’re not touching too much. He has sort of nestled his face into the juncture of my neck and shoulder, and if I hadn’t slept in my sweatshirt I could probably feel his eyelashes tickle my skin. His hand found the curve of my waist in the night. But that’s it. The rest of him is a few inches away, like even in sleep he finds it difficult to overcome his revulsion to me.

It’s almost comfortable, if I forget who I am and who he is. Not even what I am and what he is, because Madoc’s position means that if any handsome, eligible alpha bachelors deigned to outright marry an omega, as he had once married our mother, Taryn and I would be the best of the bunch—best-connected, best-educated, best-groomed. No, it’s that he is Cardan and I am Jude, and I have hated him ever since my body put itself at war with my brain, and he has hated me too, just because I was afforded some small amount of privilege without being born into it.

And still, I stay there for a minute, soaking up his warmth. Because I didn’t think I’d have this anytime soon. I didn’t think I’d get to wake up next to a boy cuddling me, not after what happened with Valerian and definitely not after what happened with Locke. And even though these are the worst circumstances, and this is the worst boy, there’s something perversely nice about it.

Or maybe I just like things that are bad for me.

I was thinking of seeing if girls were better when I got to college, but they don’t really explain how alpha-omega girl sex works in school and I am not about to ask Vivi. And now I don’t know if I’ll even make it to college, so maybe it’s not so bad if I steal a moment of peace.

But then the stink of mildew cuts through Cardan’s rich sweet-musky-boy scent and I am forcibly reminded of where we are and why, especially now of all times, I can’t afford to be soft. So I jam my elbow back into his side, and if I do it with maybe a little less force than I normally would, well, it’s not like he knows that.

Cardan awakens with a start. “Ow!” he says, rolling over onto his back and pressing a hand to his side. “What the hell!”

“You’re fine.” I sit up, take down my now grody ponytail, run my fingers through it and begin to put it up again, watching him out of the corner of my eye. “Today’s the day.”

Cardan scowls at me, rubbing his side.

“Do or die day,” I clarify, looping my elastic around another time. “In case you forgot.”

“I remember,” he huffs. “That mattress is terrible.”

“Well, maybe tonight you’ll get to sleep in your own bed. Or maybe we’ll be dead. Or we’ll be locked in this room again and you can sleep on the floor.”

“Such tempting options. However will I choose?”

I roll my shoulders, trying to work the kinks out of my muscles. “My guess is we’re going to be held up with the police for questioning for a long time. You might not have to. Maybe the choice will be made for you.”

“As always, Duarte, I do so admire your rosy outlook.” Cardan finger-combs his hair and sits up all the way, blinking at me. “I’m still worried about the third guy.”

I don’t tell him that I’d been thinking the same thing. “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it,” I say quietly. “We have two other bridges to cross first.”

Only a minute or so after I say it, there’s that knock on the door. I glance at Cardan, who needs to play the role of alpha today, and wait for him to speak, even though it sucks to defer to him. He takes his time about it, too, stretching his long legs, running his fingers through his hair once more, like he has all the time in the world, like the person on the other end of the door should be so lucky as to strangle him.

Just as I’m about to strangle him, he calls, “Yes?”

The door opens. The scarred man and his gun are there, along with, absurdly, a little paper Starbucks bag in his other hand. An upgrade. He looks at me and Cardan—we’re now both sitting on the mattress, even though we are a few feet apart—but if he has any comments he keeps them to himself. He shakes the bag like he’s trying to call in a wayward dog. “Breakfast.”

“Thanks,” I say, because it is my place to be deferential.

“No coffee?” Cardan asks.

I whip my head around to glare at him. The man grunts, “Didn’t know how you took it.” Disconcertingly, I can’t tell if he has a sense of humor or if he’s serious.

Airily, Cardan says, “Fine. Put it down wherever.”

The scarred man raises both his eyebrows, but he half-sets, half-drops the bag on the floor and backtracks through the door, closing it and leaving us alone. Cardan goes over to retrieve it and peers inside. “Okay, looks like sausage, egg, and cheddar and… turkey bacon?”

I hold out my hand. “Give me the turkey bacon.”

“Oh, thank god,” Cardan says, and this time he doesn’t take a bite out of it before he hands it to me.

“Not a fan of turkey bacon?”

He scowls. “It’s all healthy. Plus, it’s not like turkeys actually have a belly to cut bacon from. You have to grind it up and make it yourself.”

I snort, but am happy for his judgment if it means my breakfast escapes unscathed. It doesn’t surprise me that Cardan couldn’t care less about eating healthily. From what I know, he has a mostly liquid diet, and the liquid is mainly alcohol. Not that it matters much. He probably won’t be able to keep getting away with it after a few more years, but right now his body takes pretty much everything he consumes and uses it to build him more muscle.

I think of how hard I have to strength train for a fraction of what Cardan gains just by existing, and how some of the training shows, especially in my arms and back, but the rest is buried under a cozy layer of body fat, and I kind of want to strangle him again. Just one of the many downsides of being an omega.

Since I don’t have any fun facts about turkey bacon to contribute, we eat breakfast without speaking. We had agreed that it was important to get our strength up for whatever lies ahead, but I find it hard to chew and swallow, even though the sandwich is lukewarm. I end up offering the last half to Cardan, who takes it despite his complaints.

Then, once enough time has passed, he gives me a look, and I nod and stand, shaking my legs out. Instead of staying in my usual corner, I stand next to the door, tense, waiting. With one last glance at me, Cardan strides over and knocks.

We have a system with our captors now. They know that the knocking means we want out for one reason or another. They either call through the door to find out why or just open it right away. This time, the door simply opens. Cardan stays where he is and does not move to the back of the room.

“Hey,” he says. “It’s that time again.”

It’s the woman’s voice I hear, and I am privately thankful. “Okay, back up.”

“But I was hoping I could go first.”

“Back up.”

Cardan takes one step back. It’s now that she realizes that I’m not in my corner. Just a little further, I think. And she gives me the half-step I need.

“What’d you do with your friend?” she asks.

To answer that question, I grab her by her shirt and drag her into the cell.

Surprise is a legitimate advantage, but a fleeting one. Since she’s armed and I’m not, I need to move fast. I don’t have to think much about it. I jam my knee into her stomach; all of the air leaves her lungs in a startled gasp, and her grip loosens on the gun. I pry it from her hand with one of mine and use the other, still fisted into her shirt, to pull her further into the room—and let go.

It only takes a few seconds. I dart out. Cardan has already gone ahead, as I told him to, and I pull the door to behind me, quickly twisting the lock on the knob. That was phase one.

“Um, Jude,” says Cardan.

I turn, raising my stolen pistol in front of me before I do anything else, finger resting dangerously near the trigger. The scarred man stands on the other side of the table, his gun also raised. But instead of aiming it at Cardan, as we thought he would, he is pointing that barrel at me.

“This is a surprise,” he says.

Behind me, the doorknob rattles as the woman realizes I’ve locked her in.

“Let her out,” the man tells us, voice steady and slow.

“Or what?” I ask. Somehow, my voice doesn’t shake. “We’re both armed. Let us go and I won’t shoot you.”

“Do you even know how to use that thing?” he asks.

“What do you think?”

He cocks his head to look me over, evaluate my posture, my steady grip. “Huh,” he says, and then he moves to point his gun at Cardan instead. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Cardan’s Adam’s apple bob as he swallows. “I’ll only ask nicely one more time.”

I snort. “Sure. Do me the favor.”

The scarred man raises an eyebrow. Cardan whispers, “Jude?” like he isn’t sure whether or not I am playing a game. I am not sure either. I am intoxicated by the adrenaline pulsing through me.

“We’re not friends,” I clarify. “Shoot him if you want.”

Cardan gives me a panicked look.

“Of course, if you’ve promised to give him back alive, that’s going to cause some trouble.” My palm is sweaty. I shift my grip on the gun. The knob rattles again at my back, and I hear a soft curse, a hand slamming on the door. “It’s your call.”

The man’s lip curls into a kind of terrible smile. “All right, girl,” he says. “You go free. He stays. Leave the gun on the top step.”

I blink. “Really?”

“Final offer.”

I should go right away. Instead, I glance at Cardan, who has gone pale. But he looks at me again, and then, defying all my understanding of him, he whispers, “Go, Jude.”

So I do. Slowly, my entire body quivering with tension, I walk backwards up the stairs, keeping my pistol trained on the scarred man until the last possible moment. I try the knob at the top, and find it unlocked. It seems too easy, but with one last, stomach-churning glimpse of Cardan’s white face, I flee. But I don’t do everything. I do not give up the gun.

The house I step into has obviously long been abandoned—it was probably never even finished. Some of the walls have gaping holes in the plaster, the support beams visible; some were never plastered at all. There is no furniture to speak of. I don’t linger to take it in. I start running, through a hallway, in the direction of what might be the front door. When I find it, I tumble out into bright morning sunlight, and I keep going.

Immediately I know I am well and truly in the middle of nowhere. All around me is a field of overgrown grass. If there is a road, I cannot see or hear it. Still, I have to assume there was once a driveway that led somewhere, so I take off as fast as I can toward a distant line of trees. I do not wonder about Cardan. I do not wonder about anything.

For a minute it is just me, my feet flattening the dew-damp grass, my lungs straining with every breath. I am alone in a way that I haven’t been in days. Then there is a crack from behind me, and then I feel something rush past my face, just missing me. Startled, I drop the stolen pistol, which lands harmlessly in the grass and thankfully does not fire. I don’t stop running for it. Stopping is the last thing I should do, not when I am so close.

Still, my stomach drops. Without slowing too much, I glance over my shoulder back at the house. The second floor is half-intact, and I can kind of see through the wall—there might be a dark shape perched there. A man. The third man.

He’s a sniper.

I swear under my breath, and my panicked heart skips a beat. They chose this place on purpose. There’s no cover out here, giving them a clear view of whoever might be coming or going. Giving them time to move us in case the cavalry arrived. My only choices are to keep running until I am out of range, or stop, and go back. And I am not doing that.

If I die out here alone, for nothing, I will feel so incredibly stupid.

There’s another crack, now unmistakably the sound of a rifle being fired, and this time I feel when it hits—really more of a graze, but it still skims through my flesh about midway up my calf, leaving a tear in its wake. The strange thing is that, at first, being shot doesn’t hurt at all. It doesn’t feel like much of anything. It shouldn’t be enough to make me miss my step. I falter anyway, and when I bring my foot down I land on it wrong and roll my ankle. I drop with a cry into the grass, tears stinging the corner of my eyes.

But even then I keep going, crawling on my hands and knees through the long summer grass, blinking back my tears because I refuse to let myself cry. I don’t look at my ankle or my wound. It is only when I hear the grass crunching underfoot behind me, and a shadow falls over me, that I finally, finally stop moving forward.

I don’t stop fighting, though. The man—Cardan had described him as tall, and he was right—picks me up with some effort and, without a word, throws me over his shoulder like a sack of garbage. After adjusting me a little so my weight is more evenly distributed, he turns to carry me back to the house. All the time I am squirming, trying to kick, pounding at his back with my fists, screaming with the faint hope that someone might hear me. It isn’t enough to get the sniper to loosen his grip on my waist, but I do feel him wince in pain a couple of times, giving me some small, bitter satisfaction.

All I think is, I shouldn’t have dropped the gun.

Despair begins to set in as we reenter the unfinished house, as the sniper shoulders his way through the door to the basement and carries me down the stairs. Cardan is seated in a chair, rumpled but seemingly unharmed, his hands behind his back. Apparently, someone has bothered to tie him up or handcuff him this time. He sits forward when he sees me carried in. “Jude?”

“Are you sure he’s the alpha?” the sniper asks his companions. “He seems to have gone easy on you.” He deposits me into another chair, and the woman is there immediately to cuff my hands, threading the handcuff chain through the chair back so I am well and truly stuck. I see that some of my blood has soaked into the sniper’s black shirt and think, Good. My leg is starting to hurt now, in throbs, like a bad burn.

“You shot her?” Cardan asks, straining against his bonds.

“I’m fine,” I say, avoiding his gaze. I cannot believe he would do something as stupid as give himself up so I could go free. I look at my wounded calf, streaked red. There is an angry-looking tear there, but it could have been much worse. He didn’t hit bone. “It’s a graze.”

“Because he’s good at his job,” says the scarred man.

The sniper shakes his head and disappears into the room beyond the bathroom. He returns with a first aid kit and begins to stoop down next to me so he can clean my calf, but I raise my foot, threatening to kick him again.

“That’s enough,” the scarred man says. “Believe it or not, we don’t want to hurt you kids.”

“Not,” I mutter under my breath.

“Hurting you wasn’t part of the remit unless you misbehaved,” says the sniper. “Is that more believable?”

I scowl and hold out my leg so that he can clean the wound. Cardan’s eyes narrow. “We can’t just trust you,” he says, as a stinging antiseptic pad is applied to the torn skin and I flinch. “We don’t even know who you are. Give us something. Names. Something to call you.”

The scarred man and the woman look at each other. The woman says, “You can call me the Bomb. This is the Roach. That—” She points to the sniper. “Is the Ghost. You can figure out why for yourself.”

“You call yourself the Roach?” Cardan asks. “Wow. I mean, love yourself a little.”

To my surprise, the man grins. “Not my choice, but we don’t get to choose. How’s her leg?”

“The twisted ankle is going to give her the most trouble,” the Ghost replies. He presses a clean cotton pad to the wound and binds it in gauze. Then he starts on wrapping my ankle. He’s efficient; he’s done this before. “Although I’m guessing we don’t want her mobile anyway.”

“I wouldn’t mind if she taught me a couple of moves,” the Bomb says, rubbing her stomach. I wonder if I bruised her. “What was that, karate?”

“Krav maga,” I admit, glaring at the Ghost as he props my foot up on the nearest empty chair. Ignoring me, he stands and leaves to wash his hands. “I’ve been training since I was nine.”

The Roach lets out a low whistle. “Someone didn’t want you getting jumped.”

I turn my glare on him. “For all the good it did me.”

For reasons I don’t understand, the Roach grins and holds up his hands. “This? This is just a paperwork dispute. Once everything’s signed and sealed, we’ll turn you loose.”

“Lot of hassle for some paperwork,” Cardan remarks. “You could have just let Jude go if it isn’t that big of a deal.”

“I’m starting to see it,” the Bomb says to the Ghost. “Although, yeah, I could have sworn the girl was the alpha too for a second there.”

And if that isn’t absurd enough, Cardan leans toward me across the table and asks, “Did they teach you how to slip handcuffs in krav maga school?”

“Do you want to dislocate your thumbs?” the Ghost asks abruptly, reemerging from the bathroom.

I give Cardan a shrug and a nod—that is how to do it—and he shudders.

“Look, we know just about everything there is to know about this guy,” says the Roach, pulling out the last empty chair and sitting across from me. “But now I’m curious about you.”

I blink. “There’s not much to say.”

“He has quite a file on him,” says the Bomb, jerking her head to indicate Cardan, who pulls an innocent face. “But you were nowhere in it. We thought you were a bystander, a fling, or maybe his new girlfriend—”

“His what?” I squawk.

“But you’re way more interesting than that,” the Roach concludes. “Cardan told us this whole little escape plan was yours.”

The Ghost, for his part, leans against the wall, folds his arms over his chest, and says nothing. I decide I would like him best except for the part where he shot me.

“Why don’t you just let Cardan tell my life story, then?” I snap, angry at everything and everyone.

“Gladly,” Cardan says, looking a little too gleeful. “Jude Duarte was born with a chip on her shoulder. She’s glaring about ninety percent of the time and never lets her guard down, ever. As far as I know, she’s only gotten drunk once. She and her sister were the first omegas to graduate from our school, and Jude staged a coup by being named valedictorian, too, as if being first at just one thing wasn’t good enough. Our last semester, she gave a kid a black eye and got him expelled.”

“Why?” The Bomb asks. “What did he do?”

Cardan lapses into an embarrassed silence that I don’t really understand. Valerian had been his friend, once. Maybe still is. I say casually, “He tried to do what alphas always do,” like I don’t still feel the awful weight on top of me, the cheekbone cracking under my knuckles. “So I did what I had to.”

“They expel kids for that now?” asks the Roach. “Huh. Good on them.”

“Jude’s dad made a persuasive case,” Cardan says.

They exchange bemused glances. The Ghost asks, “Who’s her dad?”

Cardan and I look at each other across the table. They really don’t know.

“My adoptive father,” I clarify, because it matters. “He’s a lawyer. Uh, his last name’s Madoc?”

“Oh,” says the Roach. “Shit.”

Next

[thepriceofbeingaroseisloneliness]

KAORU&TOSHIYA INTERVIEW  BURRN!! OCTOBER 2020  2/2

‘Ochita koto no aru sora’ was released as the band’s first digital single ever. In the middle of what it seems to be nightmarish situation in which they can’t predict at all what’s lies ahead, what are the hopes and emotions that these 5 people put into this song?

Text by You Masuda “We are in a difficult position, aren’t we? How long should we wait? For example, if this situation continues next year, I feel like it’s going to be complicated for us.”

Notes before reading: This is the second part of the Kaoru and Toshiya interview done by You Masuda for BURRN!! October 2020 Issue released last September 4th. You can read the first part here.

You can support and get the magazine at Amazon Japan or CDJapan.

Feel free to correct me if you spot any mistake or any confusing parts. ------ (1st part here) -Once the video (‘The World of Mercy) is completed, it will become a big thing as well. However, since that song should have closed the flow of the 'The insulated world' in the first place, if it appears again in the future, it is possible that the flow becomes odd for some reason. K: That’s right. Originally, we were planning to complete the feeling of the album at Pia Arena. But actually, that’s not possible. Although we have to use this video for future activities, we have to think about what kind of presentation should be done for it. The song itself is a thing of the past, we can’t simply go like “we are publishing it (the video) for the people just because we made a clip”, it’s not interesting anymore. The heat of the enthusiasm has cool down a little. -In the meantime, the next single and its consequent video are coming out. But whatever the future is, you are about to start producing your next album.  Is the idea/concept already there? K: Well, little by little. Currently I don’t feel like we have many songs yet. From this month (August), we are supposed to start marking songs properly. -For example ’The World of Mercy’, will it be part of the next album? K: No, it won’t be included. After all, this song is the conclusion of ‘The insulated World'’. -In terms of discography, it will be a bit independent from the next album. T: I think it’s like that. In that sense, it will be like 'Ain't afraid to die'. (Note: This song is a single released in 2001 to conclude the flow from 'Macabre’ and is not included in any of the original albums.) K: Well, that's fine, right?  Probably we won’t need it for the next album (laughs) -No, of course, I'd be happy if there were as many new songs as possible. It’s not like I’m not convinced that this song won’t be included in the next album but, whatever happens in the future with your live activities, from a creative perspective is it ok to think that  flow from the album (The Insulated World) is over with this song? K:  Of course. However, I think there will be also some flow  similar to this song. That's because 'The World of Mercy 'is simply closer in time than 'The Insulated World'. But well, I don't know what will happen (laughs) -As we discussed earlier, there was also a sense of continuity in the lyrics. In recent years one of the most remarkable things that’s being said is that “there is no correct answer”, “A lie could be also the truth for a person” or something like “It may be true if you keep believing in it, even if you suspect that it may be wrong”. I felt some sense of contradiction. So, at the end of the two nights in Yokohama, I felt like you were hinting at something  with the line “Ill feelings will continue coming”, a variation on the lyrics of “Sustain the Untruth”. K: That’s simply  because it was the last song at the end of the show, like creating the image of playing it with the audience while the lights were on (Note: they used live footage for this song at the broadcasting). It was just this song  because it wasn’t included the day before. However, when it comes to lyrics, there are moments that you can think about it  in that way. -A two-night performance that was supposed to end leaving such an aftertaste. But without closing the previous flow, “Ochita koto ga aru no sora” comes into the world and goes on. I'm looking forward to it while I was imagining how is it going to be. A concrete thing about this single again is that  you have had Brian Gardner as mastering engineer for some time, right? This might be the first time you have teamed up with Josh Wilbur, who was in charge of mixing this time. Does this mean that it was the right timing to do it? K: That's right. He is very popular, so we never had a chance to work with him. It seemed possible this time, so we decided to ask him for the first time. Well, he is quite of a “on my own way" type of person. Like, he plays with the sound as he feels. The first time he sent us back what he created, we were like “what the hell is this?” (laughs) -You really didn’t see that coming, right? K: That’s right. Even if the song was processed just a little, at first there were parts that it was like “what?” “this can’t be good” (laughs). After all,  as he is a person who also does pop music, don’t you have a tendency to try to do such things? -In short, in these times, processing like that is a way to create an upgraded form (of the song) K: Actually, I don’t know if I would say that it is an “upgraded” form.  Somehow, it’s like he doesn’t want to leave it as it is. -He is simply not someone that just says, “I will make it sound good”. K: That’s right. T: Yes. Maybe he is someone who wants to leave a mark in the sounds he makes. I guess he is that type of person. But when I heard the sound that came back from the first mix he did, I thought it was "interesting". It was too different from our previous approach, but it was interesting from an objective point of view. However, at first, we sent him a provisional mix made here in Japan, telling him we wanted it to sound “like that”. Usually, the song would be sent back with that feeling (as we requested). As it came back with a completely different direction, it was like  a shoot and I was struck by it. I was a bit surprised. -You don't know what kind of person he was until you actually try to team with him. K: Yes. At first, we thought it would take him some time to do it. But as he is a person working in many things, as we told him the appropriate things, we thought he would do it properly. Actually, he sent it back to us quickly. So, when it comes to that, if we told him “please do this thing here”, he sent it back (done) soon. -In short, at first, he may not be the type of person that at the time of sending it back to you, sends you something “safe”. It’s like he doesn’t want to do it in a safe way. K: That might be true. But at first the sound of the band itself was strongly metal. -Do you mean more than what it was? K: Yes. Like the drums…. the drums were much sloppier than the final version ones. I feel like I overlooked his intentions a bit. -However, if you are in a situation where you can work by exchanging data, even if the returned idea is not what you were looking for, you will realize "Oh, can turn out like this?"  Even if it's not the correct answer for you right now, it may be a hint for someday. K: Certainly, there were moments like that. However, although it is exciting in itself, we had a strong consciousness that we were actually doing it, so I didn’t expect that much (laughs) Wanting to do it “more like this” comes out first. However, if I listen to it again later, I think that the “Oh, I see” feeling will come out. "No, we don't know that yet. It's just a song that was completed as a single. It starts from here though” Kaoru -It must have been meaningful to you to know what kind of work he would do. You said “he is a person working in many things” but he turned out to be a person that doesn’t do everything in a smooth/safe way. K: Yes. On the contrary, there are some people who won’t take the song to the extend that you want even if you can see the answer (final result) from the beginning and tell them “how about this?”. In that sense, I guess he was well suited for the task. -It’s hard to point out the specific difference from your usual sound but, after all, something feels different. K:That's right. Moreover, somehow isn’t the existence of the song itself already big?  I thought it would be difficult to put it out like that, so I thought it was he someone who would do it.

- You can hear Kyo’s mid-range singing very well. The lyrics of those parts also come up clearly.

K: Yes. But that doesn’t mean that some sound is being cut off there. Everything is coming out in a really clean way. That’s why I feel like he (Josh Wilbur) is a person who knows how to produce all kind of sounds.

-Yes. If you look at the works he has done in the past, it's not just heavy rock, it's very diverse in musical terms. (Note: The list of artists he has worked with includes not only LAMB OF GOD, MEGADETH, TRIVIUM, but also P!Nk and Faith Hill.) DIR EN GREY has had many opportunities to work with several engineers this way, but for the future….

K: We want to continue working with him. If he tried with the single and it worked out well, the next step would be the album. I wish we could find someone who would like to work with us on the next album, but I'm not sure if he will take care of it. It’s depends on what we will do in the future until we find someone like him who can do it.

- If all goes well in the future, I think you should be able to tell us about the next album you are already picturing in your imagination in a few months.  Do you think the production schedule wouldn’t have changed in the first place, even if this first domestic tour or the two-night performance in Yokohama were held as scheduled?

K: That's right.

-In other words, do you mean that you will be absorbed in production the album this year?

K: That’s right. Well, as a matter of fact, I feel that we can do nothing but to move in a different way under this situation. At least, isn’t it hard to think about doing new lives? If there were more live shows that have already been scheduled, we would think about what to do with them. In our case, we cancelled the tour, didn't we? For the time being, there are venues where the postponement is still on hold and there are other venues that are actually still booked. But, well, in the current situation, the question is if new lives should be announced at those places (that are booked).

- At the same time, even if there is a not officially announced live schedule, it does not necessarily mean you should do it in the way you originally thought.

K: Yes. So, in the end it's likely that it will be postponed again and if that happens, I think we should hold the venue again sometime next year There are a lot of things to think about, and in fact, all we talk about now is how we're going to move.

- Actually right now, is there anything left to announce after the two-night performance at Pia Arena?

K: That’s it. There is nothing that can be announced now.

- Even if you make a release schedule, the situation will be different depending if you can play lives or not. Of course, if you have a situation in which you can play lives as before, you'll want to do it as soon as possible, but we are waiting for that to be possible….

K: We are in a difficult position, aren’t we? How long should we wait?  For example, if this situation continues next year, I feel like it’s going to be complicated for us. We can't wait forever, but we can't force it ourselves. So, I can only say that it depends on the situation. For example, you're planning a tour in winter right now. Normally, we would have to announce it soon, right? But in the current situation, that is not possible. If we decide and announce it right away, we will sell the ticket according to the guidelines*  at that moment, but actually no matter when you restart doing lives, I don't think we can announce it with the minimum time in advance, and I think the guideline itself will change in the future if we announce it with months in advance. To sell the tickets according to the guidelines at that time, you would have to do (the lives) in a short span of time, like a month later.

*Japan's guidelines for events (concerts, sports events...) are measures to prevent the spread of Corona virus.  These measures  limits the venue capacity and  advocate for social distancing among other things. However, the guidelines is not  legally enforced.  

-For example, in the future, in a seated venue, you can only perform if there is an interval (empty seats) between attendees, and in such a situation, the picture that comes to your mind when you imagine a live will be different. In that case, I guess that it’s hard that this fits the way of doing lives that you have been trying to do until now.

K: That's right.

T: I think everyone has no choice but to explore the options. Of course, the idea of ​​playing lives normally should still be there, but I think we should explore other ideas as well. That's why…...there are many unclear parts, but the current situation is that it cannot be clarified. As this happens, I think there is no choice but to think about the possibilities in both directions. So, if we can do something interesting, I think we should do it, and if we can play lives in a safe environment…. the guideline may change again, but of course I want to do it right away.

-I hope the situation where we can enjoy live performances as before will return, and I hope  you will be able to do what you were trying to do this year in a similar way  in the future. When that time comes, it will be an upgraded form.

K: Of course. In fact, we are always thinking about a year ahead, no, even more…Of course, there are plans that we will keep. However, we are not sure if these things can be done as we planned. But well, we work on the premise that we can do it, and if we can't do, there will a right time for it.

-When the right time comes, you may have to do all at the same time, what you originally thought you would do and the things that you were putting aside too.

K: Yes, that too (laughs)

T: That can be tough, though.

-As soon as the touring ban is lifted, and each band restarts their live activities at once….

T: That's a difficult thing, isn't it?

K: That’s why….it might the same from the audience’s perspective but, it also depends on how much the people around the artist and live staff can resist. I want them to endure this situation until somehow, we can play live without worrying about it. What should we do so they can endure it? The hardest thing would be that they weren’t there when we can play lives again. That's why…. I hope everyone can survive this situation somehow.

My conversation with these two people ends here. I don't know how the situation will change in the future. Optimism is dangerous, but we don't have to imagine the worst. In this phase,I am grateful that the new song was released at the promised time, and I would like to get ready for the right time to come without giving up hope. However, we can’t do anything about it, just long for it.

[timextoxhajima]

Playlist Feels

Member: lee jaehyun aka hyunjae from tbz cause i feel like there are too many jaehyuns around now ;_; my heart can’t take too many perfect men of the same name

Genre: COLLEGE... CRUSH? idk this is probably gonna be my most crack piece (you can already tell by the track)

Word Count: 4.3k

A/N: I wrote this at like 1.30am so please bear with me lol my inspiration always come in the middle of the night because it’s so quiet and conducive 

this will be a one shot cause i’ve got no fucking clue how to make it into a series/short novel without an actual conflict/angst/drama involved :”) if you’re a writer and you see this and you want to make a 2nd part or something, BE MY GUEST

lee hyun jae. 

who was he to me?

oh, i don’t know.

just the prettiest but handsomest man alive. if that’s even a word. 

he’s always surrounded by like, eleven other boys who are also good-looking and talented in some way or another. 

god must’ve invested his entire life into crafting these fine, fine specimens of men to be placed on earth.

maybe there was a mix up somewhere and they were supposed to be angels or demi-gods and god just fucked up. 

but i’ve got no complaints. 

i’m satisfied that i get to feast my eyes on such a gorgeous, rare, one-of-a-kind version of a person i’m sure exists nowhere else in the world. 

he’s known for being one of the most caring ones of the group. he’d make his friends laugh but watch out for them at the same time. he’s so easygoing, i wonder if he’d smile at me if i tripped him over or something. 

you might think i’m exaggerating. 

well,

i’m not.

so who am i to him?

sadly, nobody.

harsh truth.

there was absolutely nothing wrong with the man. there was a lack of flaw, and that was literally the only flaw he had. if it could even be considered as a flaw. i could spend my seconds, minutes, hours, days, just staring at him. it was so unfair that there is NOTHING WRONG WITH HIM.

sometimes it pisses me off.

it kind of pisses me off that he doesn’t have a girlfriend despite half the school simping over him.

i mean, who wouldn’t? just look at him.

there have been rumors flying about that he was gay or something. 

doesn’t matter if he is gay though.

it simply hurts to know he’s not dating anybody.

it’ll be such a waste if such a man ends up living a life alone. a waste indeed.

so what was it that was stopping me from putting that destiny of his to a screeching stop?

well, there was just one problem. 

“hELLO, earth to y/n?” the sudden waving in your face with the heaviest textbook in your curriculum snaps you back into reality. 

“which one of the twelve are you thinking up some magical fantasy over now?” your best friend frowns at you, the vein on her arm popping from the weight of the fat textbook. 

“ah-- it doesn’t matter who i’m daydreaming about, let me have my moment, would you?” you lean back in your seat, disgruntled at her telling you what not to do with your own imagination. sometimes it was difficult to look at her without seeing all the little hints of lee hyunjae in her.

they had the same nose, but that was it. honestly, it was a miracle you just happened to make friends with one of the prettiest girls in school, and good for you, she ended up becoming your friend and stayed in that position for more than a decade. naturally, she was upgraded to the ‘best friend’ title. 

the biggest issue you had with lee hee jae was that she hated her brother getting so much attention, and she has always condemned him about it. 

which was pretty ironic, given the number of love letters that show up in her locker everyday.

but thanks to her cold, a-little-more-than-mean superficial personality, most guys don’t have enough of a pair to talk to her in person. sure, she won’t hesitate to stab a bitch, but you knew her well enough to know that if the love of her life, son young jae, were to suddenly sprout feelings for her and confess, she might just nose bleed and pass out. 

but does she know you have had the biggest, fattest crush on her older brother?

no. 

she’d kidnap you and torture you and brainwash you to unlike him. 

maybe that’s why he hasn’t got any girlfriends.

“you’re zoning out again,” she snaps her finger in your ear and the sharp click jumps you. you bare your teeth in annoyance and feign a hit towards her, but she doesn’t flinch. 

your little high school crush on her brother wasn’t getting any weaker as the years went by. in fact, it’s been getting stronger. now that you’ve seen the way he treats his friends, how kind and considerate he was, not to mention that body-- well--

let’s just say you went from just appreciating his face, to everything in general. it was only a matter of time before she finds out that the one man you were simping over out of the eleven boys was her brother.

of the eleven boys, it just had to be her brother.

“hee jae,” you pull out a pencil and start to randomly doodle in your notebook. “haven’t you ever considered talking to eric?” 

she shoots you a death glare, but you’re used to it. 

“i thought we agreed not to speak of this in school!” she leans into you and hisses, eyes piercing right through your head. if her eyes had lazers, your head would’ve been blasted off completely after years of her angry glaring. 

“no, but eric just seems so... chill, y’know? he’s either cleaning his table and packing his stuff or outside playing baseball, there’s literally nothing stopping you from talking to him.”

she rolls her eyes and snatches your pencil away from you in a bid to piss you off so you’d stop talking.

“give it back--” you snatch the stationery from her and hiss at her like a cat. “you’re literally in the damn baseball team with him. it’s not that difficult to make up a story and start a conversation with him.”

“ha,” she’s finally mastered the art of fake laughter. “easy for you to say. you simp for all eleven of them and can’t choose one for you to worry about it like i do.”

that was fun to hear.

“well, forget eric,” she waves it off. “are we doing anything after school?”

anything but going to your house. i don’t want to be stuck under the same roof as your brother, my heart would get a seizure and i’ll probably die on the spot.

“my mom’s making crepes today, and i know you love that shit,” hee jae snickers, pulling out a baseball from her bag and throwing it into the air and catching it. 

“aw, man... not the crepes,” you pout and side eye her, leaning back into your seat. 

“why are you so uptight about going to my place? you’ve been there a billion fucking times, you literally live there now.”

that’s cause i’m only over when your brother isn’t around!

“ugh, okay fine. but i gotta dash home first to grab some homework. i left some of it at home ‘cause i wasn’t expecting an invitation today.”

she squeals, showing you a part of her that nobody else has the privilege of seeing. “sick,” she gets out of the seat she dragged to yours and brings it back to where she took it from. “call my home number and tell me you’re on your way before you leave your house!”

you nod un-enthusiastically, waving her off before she leaves the classroom and returns to hers. 

you were finally back at home, showered and changed into comfortable clothes while you shoved all your homework into your bag. you leave your parents a text to tell them that you’d spend the afternoon and evening at heejae’s so they don’t have to worry about your dinner, then you dial her home number.

the phone was on it’s eighth ring, and you were already one foot out of the door. usually, it doesn’t take her that long to pick up the phone.

“this little bitch invites me over and doesn’t pick up the damn--”

“hello?”

your grip tightens around your phone and you stumble out of your house, the door swinging shut behind jumps you and you process the voice on the other end of the line. 

“uh--”

“is this y/n?”

“uh... yeah, this is she.”

he knows me?

shut up, of course he knows you. you’ve been friends with his sister for a decade!

“oh, okay, cool. heejae’s in the toilet right now and she said she’ll get it but i couldn’t stand the sound of the phone ringing.”

“ah...” your voice trails off, unsure of how to respond. you were just preoccupied with how soothing his voice was, and just imagining his face with the phone to his ear on the other line was just so--

“hello? y/n? you there?”

“yeah, yeah, sorry i was... crossing a road.” you weren’t even moving; you were just planted into the pavement like a tree. 

“actually, why don’t i go and pick you up? your place is on the way to the shopping mall and my mom just told me to go get some groceries, do you want to tag along? we can head back to my place afterwards and you can get the crepes you like.”

where in the world was he getting all this information from?

“uh--” you stammer into the receiver for the billionth time. he must think you have some kind of speech problem by now.

“you know what? just hang tight for a few minutes. heejae’s still in the bathroom so she doesn’t get a say in what i do if i decide it without her presence,” you hear him walk around on the house and call out for his mom to tell her he was leaving for the shopping mall. “you live on 31st avenue, right? the white house with the blue roof?”

“uH--” you really need to get a grip on yourself.

“i guessed. hang tight, i’ll be there in a sec! see you!”

hyunjae doesn’t bother to wait for you to hang up before he does. the line goes dead and the beep nearly deafens you, but you couldn’t believe your ears. you were about to be in the same vehicle as lee hyun jae. one of the most popular boys in school, the handsomest man alive, the love of your li--

whoa.

too fast.

you shake the nonsensical daydreams out of your head and walk back to the steps of your door. while waiting, you can’t help but to let the quiet crush on him run your mind recklessly. 

what if he was just messing with you and he’s just chilling at home? what if he knows that you have a crush on him and he’s just having fun? what if he thinks you’re weird for hanging out with his sister? what if he’s caught you staring and he thinks you’re a creep? oh my god, what if heejae’s told him embarrassing stories about you and now he’s going to poke fun at you with that? 

you stare blankly at the little weeds in the cracks of the pavement, the thoughts in your head running wild as you slowly convince yourself he’s not going to turn up. 

but the familiar silver family car rolls up at the end of the pavement, and the windows roll down to reveal hyunjae in sunglasses wearing a simple white tee-shirt. 

“did i keep you waiting?” he pushes down his sunglasses and looks at you over the rim, one arm dangling outside the window. 

you shake your head, suddenly losing all ability to speak. 

“alrighty then, get in. we’re heading for the shopping mall.” he nods his head towards the car, retracting his arm back into the vehicle. 

your heart was thumping so aggressively and so loudly you were sure he could hear it. hell, he could probably see it. 

“how’s school? i haven’t seen you around back in my house after... what, about five years? you were always around when i was out, if i didn’t know better, i’d think you were avoiding me,” his voice was so alluring, you had to constantly remind yourself that he was actually saying something.

“uh-- well....” 

come on, say something. anything.

“i guess god just doesn’t want us to meet.”

no, it’s because you were avoiding him. what the flying fuck was that?

he laughs heartily, his teeth catching the light of the afternoon sun and glistens in your vision. “if that’s the case then god really needs to give me a break.”

your little-crush-on-him morphs into a tiny character in your head and it starts yelling at you. did he just say what you think he just said?

“no, i mean,” he glances at you, hands still on the steering wheel once he notices you’ve gone eerily silent. “i would’ve spoken to you and tried to be actual friends with you sooner, but heejae never wants me talking to her friends. you can imagine how she is with her best friend.”

you sigh heavily, the mention of your best friends’ name loosening some knots in your stomach. “lee hee jae is just something. not sure what, but something.”

“it does baffle me to think about how you put up with her for what, nine years now?”

you were looking out the window, and the idea of being in the same car as hyunjae doesn’t seem as tormenting as it seemed once you realise the best support you’ve had for the last ten years was lee hee jae. 

“eleven, actually,” you say without looking at him, eyes zeroing on a couple walking a dog on the pavement by the road. “yeah i guess she can be a handful sometimes, especially with how cold and mean she is on the outside...”

the car stops at a traffic junction.

“but put her in front of one guy and she’ll pass the fu--”

“‘one guy’?” he interrupts.

your eyes widen and you suck your lips between your teeth, wincing a little to yourself when you realise what you just said. 

“lee hee jae has a crush on someone?” you hear him scoff and a brotherly chuckle rushes out his lips. “do you know who it is?”

you were about to protest and stop him from trying to dig the information that you nearly disclosed, but he interrupts you again.

“y’know what? don’t tell me. i’ll guess. i’ll just watch your reactions while i’m at it.”

you grit your teeth and tighten your temples. you don’t realise how sweaty your palms were until your phone slides out from underneath your skin when the car starts to move. 

“is it kevin? no wait-- doesn’t feel like it.”

is he going to just start talking on his own until he finds someone he thinks suits her and then look at my face to read my expression?

“i don’t think she’s the kind to go for someone older than me or my age. so that takes sangyeon, jacob, younghoon-- is it younghoon? no, it’s not... ah, no matter how i think about it, someone nearer your age pops up. haknyeon, sunwoo, eric. it’s one of the three.”

that wasn’t so hard. hee jae must be easy for her brother to read.

“are you really going to let me play this elimination game alone?” he raises a brow and turns the wheel, driving into the car park of the shopping mall. the little gesture causes your heart to involuntarily skip a beat, and you could see his eyes folding even behind the sunglasses when he turns his head.

“your sister would kill me if she knew i even started this conversation, so i’m just refraining from deepening my grave.”

you hear him laugh through his nose. “relax, i’m not going to tell her you said this. i’ve seen the way she looks at us whenever we’re in school. she gives me a look of disgust but she always reserves a blush on her cheeks for someone. i just can’t put my finger on who it is.”

“you mean you notice the way she looks at you and your friends? that’s a little weird.”

the car starts to reverse into a parking lot and he pulls the gears into parking mode. there was a short silence in the air as he lays his finger on the start up button of the car and he turns to look at you, now without the sunglasses to block your view of his eyes.

“you’d be surprised that i notice a lot of things.”

he flashes you a smile and reaches for the door on his side, pushing himself out as if he didn’t just expose both you and your best friend. 

you were just tailing hyunjae while he told you what was on the grocery list, and you start filling the basket. he doesn’t stop guessing though, but the entire time spent with him only made you feel like he was so comfortable to be around.

besides his pretty face, of course. 

you were waiting for him to pay for the items while you stood outside when heejae’s caller ID showed up on your phone screen.

“where the hell are you?”

“hello to you too,” you roll your eyes. “your brother said he was going to get me and now we’re shopping for groceries before we return to your place. didn’t your mom tell you?”

“what? no, she didn’t. she just told me he went out to get groceries.”

“huh?” you look over your shoulder to see hyunjae paying the cashier. “are you saying that your mom lied about me?”

“now, why would she do that?”

“she’s your mom, not mine. why don’t you ask her instead?” 

hyunjae picks up the grocery bags and walks towards you, looking into them and making sure he didn’t miss out anything. 

“this is so fucking weird. where’s hyunjae? pass the phone to him,”

“we’re done, let’s go.” hyunjae stops by your side, noticing that you were on the phone. 

“don’t you dare hang up on me, pass the phone to him!” hee jae screams into the receiver. you wince and pull it away from your ear, shooting hyunjae a look of slight confusion as you hand him the phone. 

“it’s your sister.”

he sighs and places the bags on the floor, wiping his hands on his pants before taking it. 

you could hear hee jae screaming at him on the other end, but hyunjae’s face doesn’t change one bit besides that sweet smile plastered to his lips while he let his sister berate him. hyunjae got bored extremely quickly, and he was already removing the phone from his ear while he repeated the word ‘bye’ into the receiver. 

he hands the phone back to you and hangs it up for you, picking up the bags and heading back to the car. 

by the time you reach the road right outside their house, heejae was standing on the porch, anxiously tapping her foot on the wooden boards. 

“oh, no,” he groans, looking out the window and observing heejae like she was a lion in the savannah. “well, just another day for us people who have to deal with miss lee.”

he says so coyly, pushing himself out of the car and going to open the door of the backseat. you help yourself out, and heejae storms toward you, fists balled by her side and steam coming out through her ears.

you thought she was going to scream at you for accepting a ride from hyunjae, but she dodges you and opens the backseat door opposite hyunjae to yell at him in the car. 

“what made you think it was a great idea to pick her up? didn’t we have a deal that both our friends were out of bounds to each other?”

wait what--

“yah, lee hyunjae!” she yells at the top of her voice as he ignores her, pulling out of the car and walking towards the house. “we had a deeeeeaaaaaaal!” 

you grab onto heejae and turn her around, trying to peel her attention away from her brother and to you so you could get a grasp on what she just said.

“did you just say what i think you just said?!” you blink in surprise at her, and the thought of hyunjae finding an excuse just to spend time with you melts you into a puddle of hopeless goop. 

“no,” she says with a stern face, lifting a finger and pointing at you in the face. “no.”

“well--” she yanks herself out of your grip and turns to the house. “what’s so bad about dating your siblings’ friends? you like eric.”

she literally screeches to a stop and turns around with eyes that were burning. honestly, it was pretty funny to see her so riled up, knowing that she wasn’t angry at you. she was angry with hyunjae for... whatever he did, and the fact that she just had to fall for someone in hyunjae’s circle of friends. it was a slap in her face, or whoever thought about the no-dating-siblings’-friends pact.

“is that why you don’t want to talk to eric? because of this... deal?” you raise a brow, entertained, completely forgetting that there was the slightest chance that hyunjae might’ve been looking for an excuse to hang out with you, and he had just succeeded.

she had no words, but her silence was enough to let you unpack the situation.

“ah... i see,” you fold your arms across your chest and smirk at her. then you remember you were standing right outside lee hyunjae’s house. this was your chance to dig the information out from her. “so if this deal is stopping you from talking to eric, then is it safe to assume that it’s similar for hyunjae?”

you could see her bottom lip quivering upon your question, as she realises that you’ve finally found out why she was keeping a distance from her own teammate. but her silence also pushes you further into confusion. does that mean--

“look, you can’t date hyunjae, okay? i forbid it. the last time a girl dated someone in that group of friends of his, they broke up because she got bullied by other girls in school. i told hyunjae he wasn’t allowed to date any of my friends so i wouldn’t need to beat the fuck out of any bullies and get myself expelled,” she huffed and hugged her torso. “and i made him agree to that deal by promising him that neither i nor any of my friends would date his.”

you shake your head, fingers pressing into your temples and hair while you let the story unfold from her narration. 

“my mom didn’t tell me about him going to get you because... well... he--”

“i like you!”

your heart stops and you think your blood stopped flowing through you as well. heejae’s head snaps back to look at the house and the source of noise, and she pulls out a shoe to hurl it at hyunjae. 

“ah--!” he starts yelling once she reaches him with the shoe. “let me at least try, god damn it! sunwoo only let his girlfriend get bullied because he’s a dumbass-- ow! but i’m not gonna let her get bullied, i promise!”

you slowly turn your head to see hyunjae trying to dodge every hit, and he starts running away from her and toward you. he pulls you in front of him so you were standing between him and heejae, who was holding onto the shoe so tightly, her knuckles were turning white. 

“y/n, take a chance with me, would you? i’ve always noticed the both of you looking at us but it always bothered me that i have no idea who either of you are looking at--”

he dodges a side swing, and your view of heejae trying to reach him was pretty hilarious, if you weren’t acting as his shield. 

“what makes you think she’ll say yes?! she can’t even choose--”

“i do, heejae,” finally, you’ve decided to shoot your shot. heejae freezes with the shoe in mid-air, and hyunjae’s hold on your shoulders tighten. “i’ve only said i can’t choose only because i didn’t want you to know that it was your brother i liked.”

you couldn’t believe what was coming out of your mouth. all that effort to keep it hidden only to expose yourself infront of both heejae and her brother at once?!

she looked like she wanted to slap you with the shoe now, and you flinch when she shifts, closing your eyes to brace for impact. 

but it doesn’t come. 

you open one eye and look at her, and she looked like she’s completely resigned to fate. she shakes her head like your mother would when you did something stupid, and she squats to get her shoe back on her feet. 

“i give up,” she grunts, shoving her feet into her shoe and tying the laces messily before standing up again. “of all eleven of them, him?” she raises an agitated brow and points to the boy hiding behind you. 

“it wouldn’t have been so annoying if it had been one of his friends, but him?!” 

you turn back to look at hyunjae, who was giving you puppy eyes as if he was already your boyf--

too fast. 

“does it look like i chose to like him?” you pout, hands reaching out to her and trying to play for affection. 

“for fucks’ sake,” she groans, face palming herself. “now i’m going to look like a shitty friend and sister if i don’t let you two date.”

“on the bright side..” you pull her into a hug and tighten your hold, knowing that whatever you were going to say next was going to warrant another violent outburst from her. “if hyunjae and i date, that means the deal’s broken and...”

“you can talk to eric now.”

“AH! SO IT’S ERIC?!”

[jamestrmtx]

Wish Upon a Night Sky - [Beastars | Various x Reader]

[Female, Sheep Reader | Slow Burn]

Act Eleven, Scene One | All Together

[First] | [Previous] | [Next]

It's been a week since the incident with Juno happened, and though her wounds have finally healed, you can tell there's some amount of tension and worry still simmering in her thoughts. During the past seven days, she hadn't once spoken about what happened. Rather, she kept it all to herself and refused to talk about it with you, using the excuse that she'd rather not dampen up the mood every single time you tried. Even during the silence that came when you helped her deal with her injuries, she hadn't once told you what was bothering her. 

Now that a full week's gone by, you begin to worry over the strength and depth of your friendship and if you simply weren't on a level high enough with her to talk about stuff like that yet. 

"She hasn't said anything as far as I remember," Legoshi says, following you and Haru out of the cafeteria.

"Same here," Haru adds, confirming the opposite in regards to your concerns. "...And I might not be that close with her, but with the two of us being your friend, we kind of started to talk with each other more." Her nose twitches and her brows bunch up as she frowns. "I'm surprised she hasn't talked about it with you, though!"

"Maybe she's mad about (Y/N) changing dorms?"

The wolf's addition makes the bunny's jaw drop. She doesn't waste time to react and stares up at you with wide eyes and an open mouth. "You... You what?" she exclaims; her frown upgrades to a glare and she faces you straight in the eye, almost cornering you in place with the intensity of her gaze. "No wonder she won't talk to you! Why did you do that?"

"Isn't it the most reasonable thing to do, though?" you ask, frowning. "Those threats we received aren't worth defying if they're gonna bring us that much danger and trouble. Juno spent days with those rope burns, and I can still see a few marks to this day!"

"So you're just going to comply with the enemy?"

"I need to if it means other people besides me are in danger."

Legoshi's ears droop as he witnesses your conversation with Haru almost scale into an argument. He takes a step back and stays quiet as he watches you both, having a wordless confrontation through a stern staredown. "You really need to talk with her about it, because I'm sure Juno wouldn't want that, just as much as we wouldn't." She sets her hands on her hips and her frown returns; a softer look overcomes her expression and her ears mimic the wolf's. "We're all friends here, (Y/N). And I'm pretty sure Juno cares about you more than you think." She lets that stance go and loosens her posture up some more. A faint smile manifests itself and a gentler tone rises when she continues, saying, "'Cause I feel that way, too, at least. Even if that route involves some risks, I'd much rather take one where I can be true to myself."

Haru takes a step back and lowers her intensity. Then, she sighs and lets her ears droop some more. "Almost everything we do everyday has its own set of risks, and being born as what we are now is by itself a big one. So if you think about it that way, then wouldn't it be better to choose a path you'd be happier with, in the end... Instead of going along with what's in front of you, and having almost no control over your future goals?"

She lets out another breath when she's done, though she barely gives you time to put in a word of your own when she adds, "But did you really change dorms?" Her question's a mixture of pained and reticent, most of it already reflecting itself on her face and the change in her tone. "Be honest with me, please."

You face her and remain silent for a while. While you wait for an answer, your mind goes haywire and you try to come up with some sort of white lie, yet they all fall short before you can even begin to consider them as viable options for confronting someone like Haru. "I… I didn't," you reply, meeting her gaze. "But I'm not staying in the same dorm as hers anymore. The new sheep I met at the drama club offered me to stay with her until I figure out what to do."

"And how's that any less of a risk than choosing to stay at the hybrid dorms?" she retorts, though quite unlike her previous confrontation, there's a traceable note of humour present in her voice. "You could be putting her in danger, too, y'know?" She nudges your hip and winks; then, she smiles, and you soon find yourself doing the same. "...But in all seriousness, I'm relieved you didn't move out officially, because I'm sure I'd be just as mad as Juno, if that was the case!" Her ears go back to their usual state and a calmer, almost relaxed posture remains on her body. "You should discuss this with her soon and let her decide if she wants to keep being your roommate. Don't just decide for her, (Y/N)."

"...But when should I do that? She- She won't talk with me much anymore."

Haru chuckles and faces up at you again. "Preferably tonight? You could come over straight to her dorm and try to be honest with her about it."

You chew on your lip as you consider her suggestion. It was reasonable, no doubt, but you were ninety nine percent sure doing that wouldn't be as easy as it was saying it. Despite you being close friends with Juno now, that single week of tension between you had lessened the confidence you'd gained through the semester, and now, you weren't exactly certain over what path to take any longer. "...I'll try," you mutter, swallowing tension away. One question remains in your mind, though it takes a while for you to word it out properly. "But what you're saying here is," you begin, bracing yourself, "...you think this isn't something only I can decide, then?"

Haru nods. "If it involves our safety, then no," she replies. "We should also have a say in what we want to do with our friendship with you, and not just let a… random stranger decide that for us." 

You notice how she hesitates at the word stranger, and it doesn't take too long to remember how she'd reacted to the glimpse of said stranger's appearance the night you confronted that person over Juno's disappearance. Given the current time and topic of discussion, though, you refrain from bringing that up for the moment and settle with a smile. "I… I didn't really consider it that w-"

"...Lunch is over," Legoshi's voice intervenes, sounding as quiet as a mouse. It's evident based on how meek his voice comes out that he's been trying to get your attention for some time now, and that observation alone is enough for you to smile, only to then quickly realize what his words mean.

"What?!" Haru's voice unites with yours as you both exclaim your shock. You stare at each other and later at the wolf, directing stunned gazes at him as you ask, "Since when?"

"Since five minutes ago," he replies, finally easing in with a smile and a laugh. "I... tried calling you both, but you just got more into it the more I tried to get your attention." Legoshi tries to fight back that expression, though he fails in an instant and makes it grow instead. "We should hurry if we don't want to be called out."

Despite his grin, his words send off a warning in your head and you excuse yourself from them two to run off to class.

"Let's continue this later," you call out, facing Haru and pointing at Legoshi after. "You included. You've been way too quiet about this, and it feels like you know something we don't."

"I'm always like that," the wolf remarks, meeting your challenge with a smile.

You smile back and fight back your reply when you remember you're only delaying yourself further, the same going for them two. "That's not gonna help you get away with it!"