#it should not be this funny to me that this is literally my first post in the Ghosts tag
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I love me a morally dubious, middle aged (semi-immortal) couple of polar opposites who have both been married for years, yet have also never talked about their feelings ever.
(Bonus points for their most common ship name including the "husbands".)
#good omens#ineffable husbands#crowley#aziraphale#aziracrow#bbc ghosts#julian fawcett#robin the caveman#bbc ghost julian#bbc ghosts robin#chess husbands#it should not be this funny to me that this is literally my first post in the Ghosts tag#hopefully theres at least some overlap between these two fandoms#they're both comedy shows that get darker when they need to. they both have canonically queer characters#also ben willbond was in both of them#thats gotta count for something
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I come bearing links to funny faggot videos (you said you couldn’t find the series, but I have them here)
Baldur’s Gate 3
Animal Crossing (there’s two separate parts that’s why there’s two links)
Legend Of Zelda
Pokémon
these are all of the ones out now, but if any more come out, I’ll be sure to send them 🫡
not the bg3 one calling Wyll spineless 😭 he would be scared to say it tho he's too niceys
these are all very good thank you for sharing!
#not a heritage post#asks#manyminded#also throwback to when Minthara straight up called me a fairy my first playthrough#it's because we were playing as a half elf but still. it *felt* like a slur coming from her (it was really funny)#best takes in the animal crossing one are Mabel and Sable hands down#straight girl who assumes ur her gay bestie because you talk to her vs closeted ace lesbian with mile high emotional walls and no subtlety#LoZ spot on of course. the great fairy is literally called the great FAIRY cmon yall#and pokemon. i don't really go here other than PoGo but everyone looks very gay so I agree#giovanni definitely doing it for sport but also. closted gay man#anyway team rocket is like a house to me. they should be voguing#okay i know i ended up reviewing them all here but I'm leaving the wyll comment in the general post I GOT to stand up for my man
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#i’m putting this down here because i don’t actually really want to talk about it or answer asks about it but i’m like a little annoyed lmao#first of all obviously people should have boundaries and not be annoying/invasive/etc. duh.#i have been around the rpf block many a time and rule 1 is don’t be a weirdo. don't let it out of fandom spaces :)#but yeah idk. oliver stark to me feels like someone who is actually very familiar with the mechanics of fandom warfare#and therefore does not know how to log off when it starts to get personal#like to be clear i definitely do not think he engages directly with This fandom other than to lurk and spy on people for fun/haterism#but in MY opinion he has the energy of a person who spends a nonzero amount of time engaged in petty anonymous beef#over a character or a ship or a sport or a new brand of tofu. idk i don’t really care what he’s into#but it does sort of seem like he forgets that when he’s doing it on his real socials with his real face and real name attached#people are going to know that it’s him and respond accordingly and he should just like. block them and move on.#and maybe even go back to his burner and vague about it or something if he truly cannot just walk away.#which he does seem to be sort of getting slightly better at but it's still just like. yeah man! i don't know what to tell you.#people are weird sometimes. we all get weird anons and dm’s and people cyberbullying us. it sucks and it shouldn't happen but it does.#and you do literally just have to find ways to make it easier to ignore them. i know that you know this#because you are a human who grew up on the same exact internet as the rest of us.#i say; as i feel compelled to post about a tiny situation from like 12 hours ago that has literally nothing to do with me#anyway!!!!!!!#i went into the settings to turn off reblogs and thought how funny would it be if i blazed this post lmao
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Well.
#(I'm back)#It was. Uhm. A chapter#First of all: I'm ENDLESSLY GRATEFUL to the person who sent me the translation basically as soon as the chapter came out.#I even did like 90% of typesetting but didn't finish it because I had to go out#(aka with my friends were literally knocking out at my room and I couldn't make it any more late lol)#Mixed feelings about it? Mostly because there's so much exposition... I'll need to reread it another three times before it sinks in#The color page is AMAZING 10000000000000/10 I love my sskks so much they're so cute I love them so much they're so cute.#Easily the best part of the chapter.#The color page was? Very very pretty too? Like a lot more than usual if you ask me! I can't wait for the volume cover 🥺🥺#It should come out soon shouldn't it? Usually color spreads / pages open the volume...#Akutagawa fake dying again is funny. Like it isssss but also. Idk it's a little lame how we're changing the pov from ss/kk again :/#I can't even tell if I'm being biased or if it's an actual storytelling critique. I don't care right now I just want to see Akutagawa–#being cool rather than. You know. Dead on the ground.#That said! It's also very funny and touches my sense of humor precisely.#Like yeah Akutagawa being like the second strongest pm member and overall one of the most powerful ability user in the world–#that everyone fears (and I know he is! He is indeed for real!)#And yet he always ends up face to the ground 😂😂😂 Like if we don't count the ss/kk fights he literally only ever won against Hawthorne.#And even then he failed to kill him and Mitchell. It's so funny to me. I love him. He's so pathetic#“Wow! Akutagawa is so cool and invincible now!” *ends up biting the dust not even two chapters later*#It's okay because I love him. He's very very powerful and he's also very very pathetic I love that for him#That said :/ I don't really care about Fukuzawa :/ Idk :/ Like :/#Don't get me wrong I LOVE Fukuzawa (I don't. I'm mostly neutral towards him) but this is the ss/kk moment man :/ Whatchu doin#That's about it. Let's see what the next chapter brings!#Everything accounted for I'm glad there wasn't like. A ss/kk kiss or any other big big ss/kk moment#(although Atsushi admiring Akutagawa and thinking about his eyes has its fair share of neatness to it!!)#Because with everything going on this evening I really would have been let down to miss it#But I keep hope for the next chapters!! Please...#random rambles#Had tons of fun typesetting! Even though I don't think there's a point in posting it now. But would love to do it again in the future!#bsd spoilers
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one odd thing about going deeper is that I'm no longer satisfied with shallower. and that's, weirdly enough, a net positive. I've self harmed - eh, twice? in the last month. both were well into the criteria that should have got sutures and ignored it; suspect I hit a vein once and was extremely close to muscle, which feels kind of odd. yeah, it's ramped up; yeah, there's a lot of blood and all that kind of stuff. very high risk of infection, potential nerve damage and all that kind of stuff (though I have not got either of them; I scared off an infection that wanted to hang round by chucking quantities of alcohol on it). but at the same time. that's only twice. that's a lot better than previously.
#tw sh#the one from a fortnight ago. which i have told nobody irl about including the person to which i showed the first one. is still thinking#about healing and not really doing it yet. it'll get there. might have to wear a bandage or smth on placement#if we were going into winter i would think there was a serious concern of doing it a bunch more but for now i know i absolutely cannot#because it will be visible.#i mean it already will but im gonna pretend it was from months ago and hopefully deflect questions about just how i got such scars#actually the one that i think approached muscle is surprisingly close to healed and probably going to scar surprisingly little#the other one is simply too fresh still to know how it'll scar#should've taken progress pictures to monitor healing but was too scared others would accidentally see it#didn't want to traumatise folks#honestly was genuinely tempted to take one (1) photo of the more recent one and post on my secret sh tumblr but i talked myself out of that#anyway im fine#personal#puddleglum hours#yesterday dad hugged me and patted my arm and it was LITERALLY directly on top of the fresher one but i was able to Not flinch#fun fact: when you go that deep it is in fact Less painful than a few layers shallower#which i found to my own concern the first time and was freaking out thinking id done something nerve-related#anyway yes i really am fine prommy#fessed up to my doc about self harming anyway#and technically unless muscle is involved it is clinically described as superficial#(fat layer is the one where they will nearly always consider sutures necessary but some shallower will be dependent on how much they gape)#but also because of how much blood there is every time you kinda have to spend longer making sure you're not gonna bleed all over everythin#so that also stops me bc oh it's nearly midnight i cannot devote like two hours or three to making sure i don't wake up in a puddle of bloo#(hyperbole)#anyway in some ways i find this funny. probably should be vaguely concerned. but eh
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technically alan wake 2 final draft (spoilers ahead) is a Happy ending for the characters, but the spiral writers room video calling his enlightened self a possible demiurge or demon unsettled me far more than the original ending. that version, by his nature, already existing and overlapping with past loops, influencing and manipulating things without known reasons (to us and the Alan we play). it really makes that Alan out to be something else entirely through ascension and that this is inevitable. this could partially be because I kept seeing people say that the final draft was the happy end with a happy resolution for everyone, but I can’t stop thinking about what this means for Alan—and Alice!—going forward. That, along with the direct parallels to Yötön Yö playing out. It’s SO much to unpack
#final draft spoilers#alan wake 2 spoilers#alan wake 2#I’m repeating myself in my aw2 posts about the ending but I reeeeaally love the first ending#and I’ve come around to liking the final draft but trying to wrap my head around it#and would love to know if anyone has specific thoughts on the yötön yö callbacks or master of worlds/demon thing#I’ve seen some interpretations that alice literally is the bullet of light coexisting with alan. or that maybe he’ll become an antagonist#but idk if I agree with those. but there’s a lot that the final draft opens up#and it is a Little funny to me that it’s considered the more positive or conclusive ends#apart from Logan answering the call—everything else leaves far more to question#the first end is very ‘Alan is stuck in a spiral and needs to ascend w the help of saga and Alice’#but the final draft. all the worlds are Alan’s oyster. who is he and what will he do. i have no idea#and all the ascension and becoming something else while playing the roles of yötön yö still make the entire thing feel slightly off#in a way that’s good btw. i like that the final draft is less clear and not a generic happy end than I assumed from all the buzz around it#like maybe aw3 or control 2 will roll around and he’ll just be like Mr Door and he’s just more aware of his powers#but for now I enjoy the questionable aspects of this happy end for alan and alice#😃 <- me after discussing the endings of aw2 extensively over multiple posts#also feel like i should say that I don’t think alan will be. evil or anything#it’s just the aw2 of identity and change that fascinates me with what ascension means for alan :’)
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No ill will at ALL towards op btw, I agree with this sentiment! But also whenever I read posts like this I can't help but wonder if maybe we've over estimated how many LGBT-neutral/positive people who just so happen to also still use fag/tranny actually exist in the world. lol.
#like. i get that this post is more about the second guy described here. who is definitely real and a problem.#but ive never actually met the first guy?#like some people on here are really invested in the hypothetical ''guy who still calls them fags but also thinks they should have rights''#and it hits weird for me bc ive literally never met anyone like that. people who use other ''outdated'' language#(ex. transsexual. homosexual. queers.) sure#but my experience is that the actually well meaning people usually phase out ''tranny'' & ''fag'' pretty quickly#you know? idk. shrug.#also first hypothetical guy in this post sounds exactly like dean winchester in every sabriel but no destiel fic i ever read on ffn.#that's just funny though. im not mad about it.
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me, hyped up about Star Trek Enterprise again after finishing my beloved season 3: I wonder if there are any posts about it on tumblr *searches*
me, twenty minutes later, closing the results: ah. I see. it has suffered from fandomification, where fans threw out canon and replaced it with fanon. one hundred and thirty seven polls asking "what was your first/favorite star trek" and it is at the bottom of every one. this between 14million other posts about every other star trek series. some funny memes thrown in for ~flavor~. great. wonderful. I'll just go back into my happy little corner with my parents who unironically enjoy the show with me then.
#star trek enterprise#I don't know what I expected#I mean I didn't really expect anything I was shocked and excited to see posts... at first#now I'm just sorry I asked#for the purpose of answering every poll I came across: star trek enterprise WAS my first exposure to star trek#and yeah it imprinted on me a little#I was definitely in a space era after watching battlestar galactica (1978)#and I loved it#I still unironically love it#not a single post I saw talked about how amazing season 3 is I must fix that#if I have to see one more post talking about how captain archer is an idiot I will go insane#people can be smart and intuitive and still make stupid decisions sometimes without being 'himbos' internet#the man managed to befriend at least 47 different species of alien INCLUDING establishing an alliance#with the aliens who wanted to DESTROY EARTH#Idk maybe I'm just relating to the show on a subconscious level now#because I'm an adult who has been thrown into situations over her head and been forced to use intuition#because no one trained me or guided me#AND THAT'S LITERALLY THE WHOLE POINT OF STAR TREK ENTERPRISE#IT'S HUMANITY'S FIRST TIME IN SPACE AND THEY HAVE HAD NO TRAINING#OF COURSE THEY'RE GONNA MAKE MISTAKES#'star trek enterprise is funny and stupid uwu' THEY HAD TO STOP THE XINDI DEATH STAR SHUT UP#THEY SURVIVED THE EXPANSE THAT THE *KLINGONS* WERE AFRAID OF#HHHHHHHHHHHH#ugggggggh okay I'm getting worked up I should stop
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tomorrow i will have been reading umineko for one whole year
#:)#still can't believe i ended up reading at a 1 chapter a month pace#i never even intended to liveblog umineko in the first place lmao#which you can tell because the first few posts are just like 'i'm gonna start umineko'#'hey maria is a really good character and is correct about everything btw'#'battler jessica and maria are the only bitches on rokkenjima i trust and care about'#'i'm going insane what do you mean there are chapters just dedicated to failsibling drama arguments'#and then i started note taking and then after the rose garden scene i fully lost my mind#funny skimming over the 1-6 thoughtdump and seeing less than 2000 words of bullet points lmao#i love how the first couple posts of my liveblog so perfectly capture the exact moments of my descent into derangement#iirc someone sent an ask like 'you should definitely try keeping notes when reading umineko and share some theories every now and then'#not knowing that i'd already started my ridiculously meticulous note document and that this pushed me to go all in on my thoughts#although i'm gonna be honest i think *the* moment my brain broke with umineko was that 1-7 scene with kanon#literally all of this is because i Paid Attention to the fucked up servant dynamics and had the most unhinged brainblast known to man#funny to look back and reminisce on all this now lmao
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Gonna use this image any time someone says something low key sexist about Sable (ie "she's showing too much skin" regarding a fucking bathing suit 😭🤦)
I don't hear you complaining about Spirit 😭
#I swear to god some people in this community#just say ‘cover them up whore’ like a normal sexist does#also people who targeted the sables because of their bathing suit outfit and then others saying it’s fine to do that#because of what she’s wearing… do you not hear yourselves?!#purity culture will be the death of us all#and then when you play sable because you look and dress like her and then people say whoever plays her is a ‘gooner’#get off the fucking internet and talk to an actual alt woman#(this is low key a vague post about someone streaming with their friends and making fun of the sable that joined the three of them because#she had the bathing suit skin on and they were saying shit like ‘what a normal amount of clothing you have’ and the whole chat joined in.#it was the first game and I literally couldn’t watch them after that because it just made me so mad. YOU DON’T KNOW WHO’S BEHIND THE SCREEN#for all you know it’s just an alt woman who likes the outfit and your making fun of her because you think skin = sex = gooner which says a#hella lot about YOU more than the person playing her. if you know who I'm vauging about don't be a dick and harass them or send this to the#I was so mad that I just closed the stream and reblogged sable pictures because this hate against her so fucking insane.#I'm not trying to start drama. I'm just tired of this bullshit. I don't think they knew how insensitive stuff like what they were saying is#(even though they really should have; they're an adult and their words having meaning and they clearly have a young fanbase that looks up#them so they should be more careful about the shit they say) but I'm not here to try to fight anyone. I'm just furious about#constantly having to point out how fucking stupid this is and how it's rooted in sexism and purity culture.#when you say this shit you're not just 'making fun of a character'. you're indirectly making fun of alt women who dress less conservatively#you are indirectly shaming a group of people who already have to deal with prejudice outside of your 'jokes')#I love how misogyny and sexism is such a funny joke to these guys (no I don't)#I’m so fucking sick of how this community treats alt women#(speaking as an alt fashion afab person myself)#anyway. I'm just going to eat my dinner in silence.#nah who am I kidding I'm pulling up [popular 90s anime magical girl show staring 'rabbit' whose tag I don't want this to go to]#dead by daylight#dbd#rant#mint mumbles
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Something about Altered Loyalties CYLAS just really makes me want to include him in the first place but also makes me really really REALLY think that with the more supernatural elements of AL based off of the original TFP pilot (or just first episode/s?) that CYLAS as a ‘dead man walking’ would actually let him stay around longer AND also be a very significant contributing factor to Megatron’s downfall in Decepticon favour!
Of course it’s not as if I have the pieces of the TFP rewrite au firmly put into place, CYLAS in canon shows up just over halfway into season 2, and many of my most established changes occur in the first like… including all the parts of ‘Darkness Rising’ 8 episodes of season one; I have no idea if the environment CYLAS presents himself in is the same one canon CYLAS does.
But with the dubiousity between s1 e8 all the way to s2 e19, I’ll establish the basic context… I think in story mode maybe…
Looking at the general timeline for the Aligned Continuity, it says that the first contact of cybertronians on Earth is dated to about 500 years before the show, give or take a decade. I’ve been listing Skyquake’s little EHP pitstop to have existed at least 50 years before the war reached our planet, but what if I pushed it all the way back to 500; if a vorn is 83 years, that’d be about 6 years on an entirely different planet not knowing truly if your twin is going to make it, a planet which by the way presently has no established radio systems that it’s horrifically quiet for a terrestrial environment.
That means that Skyquake’s EHP Comms Array has been transmitting a signal long before humans had developed radio, which also means that what might’ve been blatantly an anomaly in the system if discovered 50 odd years previous to 2012 (which would’ve been in the 60s give or take which would not have been good in the literal middle of the cold war era) has been going for centuries because it had always been there, there is no anomaly because it is a signal that has existed ever since humans were able to manipulate radiowaves into sending messages and translate them into detectable noise. It helps that cybertronian language and code (both code lang and like literal programming code) is a system unknown to humans developing their own language.
And you may be asking, why did I divert this post from talking about CYLAS and how he’d outlast his canon alternate to radio shit? Well, if you were a paramilitary organisation who is pretty good at erasing signals and you discovered a signal that has been actively running for the entirety of human radio has suddenly been silenced, what would you begin to suspect at that?
Aliens may potentially be a stretch but MECH didn’t just name themselves after the cybertronians fighting war on their planet, and once the cybertronian conflict touched down on Earth, the Decepticons hadn’t a need for an intergalactic communications array and in fact was specifically instructed to switch it off in an effort to prevent the Autobots from using it. That would’ve been about maybe 6 years ago for the show (wow just enough equivalent time to match what Skyquake felt he spent grounded to one radio tower look at that) and though MECH would not encounter their first cybertronian until ‘Convoy’ (haha wait that’s s1 e9 the next ep to cover - if necessary - for Altered Loyalties lmao), they would’ve had 6 years to find that missing signal and stumble across some very definitely alien technology.
That is one of the reasons why the rewrite of ‘Masters and Students’ which is less masters and students focused - rather the point is Skyquake, a team of Nemesis stationed vehcions and Starscream investigate the comms array and set it up manually - why the radio tower wasn’t switching on from a remote position.
The other reason was because the Guardian unit stationed at the comms array - the very ones that had accompanied Skyquake all those stellar cycles ago - had gone missing. Why?
Because of Megatron’s flagrant use of Dark Energon.
Points 1 and 2 listed above leads to the explosion of the comms array, the death of Skyquake, and MECH either being alerted to the point of alien contact or just in general going to the site for more study only to find a dead specimen. After the discovery of the Autobots with the body of Skyquake, MECH begins their initial study and dissection of cybertronian physiology, though without a live subject they couldn’t exactly see what parts function in what way, especially the t-cog.
The discovery of Skyquake led to the discovery of terrorcons which lead to the discovery of how to take down a cybertron and how to take it apart without it screaming. MECH would learn the programming of a cybertronian through vehicon terrorcons since, even with DE corruption, their processors are still somewhat being maintained. While probably not able to access memories (they are fickle things, memory centres, easy to damage storage or to corrupt files) there are still systems responsible for pain and other more processor based responsibilities that aren’t centred in a physical organ that reads in fine print it’s function.
Breakdown being MECH’s first fully functional living mecha for their study is so exciting for them (even if Breakdown is very much less enthused) because they can put what knowledge they’ve pieced together to be far more efficient with their time and focus on the elements they could not decipher from either corpse or zombie and potentially try and prod at Breakdown’s brain for some cohesive coding. Good think Bulkhead still shows up when he does even with Breakdown walking away with the dreadful thought of ‘how the hell do these fleshies already know so much’ boring into his head… mainly through the optic that was still drilled out-
Whether or not MECH needs to get another living cybertronian to get caught up in their understanding of the biomechanics of them (aka would 'Operation: Bumblebee' take place as it does) or they skip right onto making a remote control Prime having gotten a headstart on their knowledge and scaring the scrap out of any bot unlucky enough to be unconscious around them, eventually Silas gets smooshed and MECH scientists are reliant on their alien dissections to get the human puree back to the land of the living.
I'd assume that this was the case in the original since if Silas' biomatter was able to be collected from a pile of robot drone induced rubble the RC truck would've been able to be recovered as well, but MECH discovers that using Nemesis Prime as a lifesupport system does not work given all it's functionality is focused on visually replicating another cybertronian, rather than using it to create life. There's a lot of parts and systems to a cybertronian's biological ecology that wasn't put into consideration for a mimic toy that prove detrimental to creating a suitable ah... skin suit essentially for Silas' blood pudding, but MECH has an abundance of corpses ready and raring to be used just so long as they piece them back together again.
Amid MECH's collection would no doubt be a mass of vehicon bodies - some untouched by energon others taken down explicitly by MECH because they were terrorcons - some terrorcons made up from the bodies of the previous conflict pre-show (and not just a hypothetical ancient war, but explicitly the conflict that culled a lot of Autobot and Decepticon officers amid the show expected vehicon death), and the very first cybertronian sample they started studying, Skyquake himself! Being at the origin of the blast at the EHP Comms Array he wasn't kept in perfect condition for one, the arm he loses as a terrorcon in the Shadowzone is still lost - it's been buried under rubble after being severed with radio tower pieces - and the monochromatic glass over his optics has long since been shattered so you can see the 'pupil' aka sensor, but seeing as how CYLAS makes Breakdown's corpse somehow look worse than what Airachnid left it as MECH probably has to suture that fucker back up because there's not way his organs have been left untouched!
And once CYLAS has been successfully integrated into his new cybertronian shell (some sort of arm, either being a loaner from another corpse or straight up just one MECH invented, it could even be a copy of the missing arm but where's the fun in that) instead of getting all high and mighty about 'being of a superior species' Silas actually bloody thinks on MECH's plans going forward. With a literal army of paramilitary personnel, from the scientists that melded human flesh with cybertronian wires to the average grunt soldier fighting between the battles of iron giants, CYLAS has something that Megatron (at least the Altered Loyalties Megatron I have written previously) has wanted from the start of the series...
An undying force.
For as large as cybertronians physically are their numbers can never match the scale of humanity, I can't remember if the books mentioned only thousands of the dead or up to a million over the course of like... a long fucking time but, that's not even the number of the human population if you're caught up with the number (nearly 8 billion alive today). And with the dead of previous battles already roaming the Earth, in a world where Megatron still being only like one dude can't command a planet wide population of zombies, the only reason he doesn't turn his blade to the weakest denominators of his forces in his plagued state is because their conscious decision to serve him is worth more than mindless servitude.
CYLAS introducing himself and MECH as a solution to this issue, and providing a show of bountiful body horror, makes not even the Decepticon high command quite as safe as they had been; not that it's been proven to be safe standing by Megatron's side given his track record of wanting his SiCs beaten or killed but...
The fact that CYLAS just so happened to have given and then promptly brutalised Dreadwing's hope that Skyquake may have been actually alive, just severely damaged (and, bond weakened from distance and prior injury, clinging to the last shreds of 'my spark didn't kill me with him' reasoning) and broke him out of the spell of blind loyalty to his once great leader.
CYLAS in this version has a little bit more longevity to his existence within the Decepticon forces, not actually a Decepticon soldier as the canon CYLAS pledged himself as but 'The Human Factor' the episode so calls itself akin to the way the American government and the human children are to the Autobots, but being able to physically go toe-to-toe with cybertronians. Megatron might be a little tired of dealing with independents after Airachnid's escapade (I do intend to make her more into a poacher/torturer type character than another Starscream so she might act out a little differently), but Silas isn't one for licking boots anytime soon and as CYLAS, Megatron is no different; you'd think he wouldn't have even done that in the first place given he's already an ex-military 'take-no-nonsense' bitch, but the Breakdown in him probably made him a lapdog...
Anyway that's a whole big post about Altered Loyalties CYLAS... or at least the in depth reasoning behind why he could still integrate himself into the story and why he'd probably have more opportunity to lasting- i prommy it's not bc i like torturing skyquake likers *wink*
I guess this is now a canon event or at least I'll try to make it canon ;)
#silas#silas tfp#leland bishop#CYLAS#tfp CYLAS#MECH#tfp MECH#should i tag other characters? if they're mentioned they're mostly just gonna be corpses#eh whatever this is a MECH post mostly so whatever#transformers#tfp#tfp au#altered loyalties#maccadam#realising that the altered loyalties tag does not include my first post despite me tagging it fuck off#eh whatever the search for it ironically works fine for some fucking reason#the funny thing about rewriting tfp unlike any other rewrite au is that#this starts off pretty fucking immediately since skyquake has been on earth conscious for 500 years he is already in the show#which is different from other rewrite aus like the starscream rewrites (in shadowzone when he stabs himself with dark energon/wakes up)#or knock out rewrites (either operation breakdown the episode after or even all the way to crossfire in season 2)#rewrite fanfic readers who recognise those beginnings- i wink at you#it does mean that there are fundamental changes literally immediately that i have to consider in relation to the whole series#and how it would effect later events that i might like to include but potentially can't#thirst is a really fun episode- have no idea if it'd be able to show up in the first place#but because i couldn't care for the human factor as an episode and more so about the concept of CYLAS himself well- it was easy to separate#he conceptually fits in with the zombies i thought were going to be a main focus for the series back when i was first watching tfp#it got me hyped up in a way that um... it's not like i don't like tfp but my experience from the pilot to the experience i have with the#show is um very different- not in a bad way but i thought it was very cool to do the zombie thing#but the show didn't go that route until the movie when the supernatural elements were kinda... restrained by that point#anyway back to CYLAS- introducing him to a story where this megatron is a little more obsessed with undead armies
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on the note of my tags on the last post (re: me being purple-coded especially if people know aubrey) i thought i'd share this incredible dm i got from bruce last time i was in toronto:
#literally no idea if he was referring to me or my character aubrey with the purple hair thing lmao#bc the aubrey wig is 100% purple but my hair is like. probably mostly purple but with blue and teal and pink and green in there too#i love my hair so much tbh i just got it re-dyed recently and like. yes it costs more to get it done professionally but it's so worth it im#it's such a confidence boost and it's so funny when it's the first thing people notice about me#plus little kids and sweet old people both look at me like a mythical creature lmao#have i posted a picture of my hair in good lighting on here where you can actually see the colors?#i should do that at some point
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I break out laughing for several minutes from time to time whenever I remember the bunch of stuffed people they had in the German musical
#The fight Cyrano has with seven/eight/one hundred men is the Cyrano actor in the middle of the stage fighting the plushes they throw him#One of the plushes is hanging from a rope and it looks a bit like they're hitting him with a corpse#It was almost The Brotherhood 2 levels of hilarity#Why didn't they just ask someone around to put on a costume and appear for ten minutes is beyond me lol#I'm so fond of this musical xD#They literally have seven and a half actors and a bunch of plushes but it's one of my favourites#I talk too much#I should probably delete this later#Cyrano de Bergerac#I'm this 👌 close to start uploading some fragments from some of the productions I've watched since I've saved them for myself anyway#And several of the clips I have half a mind of posting are from this production#The traveler of the Moon scene. Perhaps the first scene with Le Bret which is so funny and cute#Maybe the balcony scene mainly because of how much I laughed when he moved that tree xD#And perhaps I could make some gifs with the continuity of the handkerchief. The tree‚ the plushes and the handkerchief#Truly this production keeps on giving#Anyway I also thought of uploading Solès' and perhaps the Italian production's traveler of the Moon scenes#Maybe Kline's and McAvoy's too#I didn't like that scene all that much the first time I read the play but obviously it's one of my favourites now#I think it gives way to a lot of creativity in stagings and for the actor playing Cyrano to shine at his most comical#to then hit with a pan when he changes registers in the end#(I also just really love the moon so maybe I'm a bit biased)#Rereading my tags and like... It is NOT pathetic. The musical OWNS the plushes and it's FANTASTIC. Hilarious and ridiculous in the best way#More Metal Gear or Monty Python and the Holy Grial than The Brotherhood 2 in truth
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it is really unfortunate the way suicidality is talked about nowadays because it’s either all a joke so it’s hard to discuss in a serious capacity or it’s so upsettingly serious that you can’t even discuss it without fear of like being institutionalized
#brot posts#im really glad to say this but ive had such a huge improvement this past month that like#for the first time in YEARS. i am not suicidal#dont know if its permanent but like it genuinely feels permanent because i have not gone this long without#thinking about it at least in passing#to go this long without a single thougjt of it at all feels like its permanent and i have to remind myself its literally been A Month#but anyway#sorry i saw a post thats only tangentially related to this but im like. irked right now#like its hard to stress this in the current har har i m gonna kill myself era. but like if you seriously think negatively about#people who are suicidal or have killed themselves; if you're religious and believe suicide is a mortal sin; if you cannot offer#any sort of reasonable sympathy for someone who is suicidal#then like. im sorry! but that is ableism!#it feels kinda wild to associate ableism with suicidality what with the current environment and weird funny-zation of being suicidal#but like legitimately. this is a mental illness. it is not a laughing matter and it should be met with kindness and an appropriate#level of weight that it deserves - not levity. not annoyance. and not brushing it off for whatever reason#im saying this with the clear head that i now have a month into zero suicidal thoughts after years of daily suicidal thoughts#having that stark contrast in the quality of my life really shines a light on just how utterly fucked it was to live like that#and it really smarts at me to finally reach the light at the end of the tunnel and then have people act like it wasnt as bad as it was#people who have never experienced it before themselves - like who are you to tell me my own life and experiences and illness?#to act like it wasnt even an illness in the first place?
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honestly i get embarrassed i don't have like. a single other interest I'm as into because i just know everyone around me is probably sick of it
#idk i probably shouldn't have to feel bad about my interests but i annoy myself like oh my god please read something else talk about..#..something else. its not like i dont like other media; i think pathologic is really freaking cool even if i havent had the time or patience#to play either game yet; i love derry girls it's a really good show; i have this attachment to firefly despite its issues#it's not like i can't get into other things#but nothing has had the chokehold on me that the legendarium has had/still has years later and it's almost frustrating sometimes#like i used to be really into gravity falls for instance. also cuphead; also bartimaeus and lockwood and co. oh and seraphina#but while i still really like all those things and theyre nostalgic for me; i can't...so easily fall back into those worlds in the same way#maybe it is also kin related but it's almosg like i get embarrassed to be so fixated even though it's been such an enjoyable part of my life#as cheesy as that no doubt sounds. i wouldnt be the same person if somebody (i dont even remember who anymore) hadn't been like “hey..#“..middle schooler aimenel you should read the hobbit” (actually i think i mightve read lotr first i dont remember anymore)#idk why it bugs me; why im like “oh no people will be annoyed by the constant posts” as if anyone couldnt just unfollow or block#im probably always going to be like this to some extent and i dont know why i cant stop feeling embarrassed by my attachment to certain..#media. its not even an “oHhH nOoOo its problematic in some ways” thing because i really dont give a shit for the most part#i think its literally i feel like people are going to at a certain point go “arent you too old to like this”#which isnt even going to happen probably so i dont know why i care. i dont know why i care when im honestly cringy as shit all the time#its funny ive becomr someone a much younger me would call cringe and just trying to be special or whatever
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forever cursed to write insane long tag spam on reblogs of other people’s posts until i realize that i should make a separate post for the idea and putting the post into drafts and then never getting around to transfering the idea to post form
#soro rambles#help me my drafts are literally stuffed with shizaya rambles#cuz like when i first got tumblr i was like#hm. i should at least write a reaction on everything i reblog so that my blog isn’t JUST other people’s content#because i was thinking of my blog as something i should be marketing on#(HAHAHAHAHAHA. you naive motherfucker)#and then i started writing funny tags on my incorrect lov posts as well and people were like omg op your tags are better than your posts#so ive gotten into the habit of writing something in the tags for literally everything#even if it’s just like a LMAOOO or THIS IS SO CUTE or smth#and a lot of the time it’s like ‘oh this art makes me think of this idea’#and then i start rambling about that idea for the next 30 tags#like. uh. whoops.#SEE I DID IT WITH THIS POST TOO FUCK#like there’s no difference between writing it in the post and the tags???#ill write it the same way with the exception of a few breaks#but i just cant bring myself to put stuff in the actual post unless i literally run out of tag space#what is wrong with me lmFAOOO
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