#it scared the fucking shit out of me
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Hello yes I live again
#my cat got really sick#she sprained her leg#ive had her for 14 years#so#it scared the fucking shit out of me#but i return
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safety first! 🏍️🏍️
#me sitting down to draw a small loose sketch:#im always scared of painting but because i started this off with “just a little doodle” i was able to more loosely slap shit down#and not worry as much and have some fun#which rarely ever happens and i worry too much when i paint#but id say this turned out okay#i did keep it too loose and not figure out details in the sketch stage which had me end up having to figure it out while painting which was#also kind of fun#but i might be more careful next time#sonadow#my art#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#also yes i am not spending 5 hours drawing his fucking bike
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doodles (as i avoid work) of the super awesome you wouldn't like me alive fic by @ectoplasmranch which i binge read in a 7 hour sitting yesterday
#🧻 sharts#danny phantom#danny fenton#dash baxter#i aint tagging everyone else. jazz was the most fun to doodle though#figuring out their faces was . hm. it was a moment. i hope i made jazz and danny look related enough HAHA probably not. i wanted jazz and#him to have the same eyes its just jazz still looks like a normal girl and danny looks like he's lost all zest and life for the world#like shit man if someone looked at me like that in the highschool hallway id be scared too i dont blame you dash#UGH DASH IS LIKE A GOLDEN RETRIEVER TO DRAW FOR THIS FIC. i love it so much. i love me a shitty guy turned nice#elderich horror danny is cool. im tag rambling now. my bad#this fic has a bit of a death grip on me. i need to be normal and go to bed#ALSO I CANT FIGURE OUT HOW TO DRAW TUCKER IM SO SORRY. HIS HAT. IT PAINS ME#anyway uhhh if u like danny phantom read dis fic? pretty please? for me? its at 127k words atm so. if youve got a day to spare#(dont be like i me i fucked up my eyes binge reading it LMFAO. be smarter)#guess ill die (danphantom)
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horrors
#lethal company#my art#jesus fucking christ this scared the shit out of me#but at least hoarding bugs are chill unless u touch their shit
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this is difficult to explain, but the recent requests i got reminded me that i wanted to draw young justice in mod fashion
(this is for @gremlin-bot who wanted cassie and bart hangin out, @marmaleye who wanted tim, the anon who wanted dressy tim, and @howaboutthisblr who wanted to see the rest of YJ)
sketch, ref + bonus sailorsuit young dickie that i forgot i had:
#i liked the initial ink wash and then i fucked up TT#c'est la vie#“TEENAGERS SCARE THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF ME” <- drew tim's pissy face by accident and was like. i guess im committing to this#sart#prompts#tim drake#dc#yj#cassie sandsmark#bart allen#greta hayes#cissie king jones#this is more generally 60s but whatever#the long and short of it is that tmfu was my emotional support movie for a while
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me omw to scare mormons out of a wendys!! 🍂🖤🍟
ootd from like 2 weeks ago and yes that really happened
#ootd#doodles#art#illustration#fashion#fall#autumn#autumn vibes#cozy vibes#self portrait#artists on tumblr#i havent done an ootd drawing in a while and i just wanted to Make Something#the mormons story: my friend and i stopped at a wendys and there were these two Stock Image Of Mormons dudes sitting at a table#and me and my friend are obvious gay and in different directions. you can tell we are Queers(tm). i look like This and he has#long curly hair and huge earrings. we are the poster children of what mormons prolly show kids and say 'these people are going to hell'#you'd think we had walked in holding signs that say WE LOVE GAY MARRIAGE AND ABORTlON with the way they stopped and started#muttering to each other while looking dead at us in the checkout line. like the entire time. and after a few minutes of whispering to#each other they pick up their food and book it tf out of the restaurant. still looking at us *as they go out the door*#it was so fucking funny. anyway then we stole their table#good! gtfo. i dont want cultists with my fries thanks#im glad my gay autistic aura is strong enough that i scare freaks like that by just Standing There thinking about a crispy chicken BLT#sounds like a 'and then everyone clapped' story but that really did happen to me and ive been laughing at it for 2 weeks now#what Isnt true is that i pulled a whole leaf out of my pocket. that shit was in pieces. and i dont know where it came from
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Ok so everyone and their grandmother have talked about "when I told dad I was scared of the thing in my closet he gave me a .45" when Sam was nine (?) years old.
But I don't think I've ever seen anyone talk about the fact that according to John's journal it WORKED.
Like,
"5 nights running now Sammy has slept without nightmares" ok-
#somewhat revolutionary discovery for me#it also has the very fun implication of one of my favourite hc/interpretations which is;#yes john raised sam and dean rough and they were nurtured to turn out a little weird bcoz of it#but they are also very very much Just Fucking Like That#sam. you 9 year old little freak. how tf did ur daddy giving you a handgun to shoot the monster in ur closet actually work.#most kids would just be weirded out and scared to shit. but nah.#maybe johns right and sometimes all you need is a .45 under your pillow...#spn#samandjohn
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i cannot express enough how much i absolutely HATE him
#don't get into my fucking personal space you floating cube thingy go away fuck leave me alone#literally everytime i just wanna see what he has for sale i get fucking jumpscared#STOP APPROACHING ME YOU ARE SCARING THE SHIT OUT OF ME#also his dialogue are like 1000x more annoying and demanding than ordis why everyone only hate on ordis you have better cephalons to hate#uugggggghhhhhhhhhh if it's not for fast affinity farm i will never step in sanctuary onslaught#i don't want to hear his voice#warframe#warframe excalibur#warframe cephalon simaris#(idk i don't even wanna see how people tag him this is the last time i draw him i never wanna have anything to do with him)#my art
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ghost fucking soap so hard and so good he passes out but he utterly panics about it
he thinks he must’ve ignored soap asking to stop; was it pain that made him pass out? how bad could it have been to make him pass out when he’s been shot and kept going? should he bring him to medical? he’ll never touch him again, he’ll never so much as look at him again; he’ll ask for a transfer- fuck that, a dishonourable discharge. there’s no coming back from this
he spirals, guilt chasing hatred chasing despair chasing fear, until soap finally wakes back up
soap's still floating, loose-limbed and buzzing; fucked so thoroughly out of his head that it takes him a while to notice ghost isn't in bed with him anymore. he frowns, lifting a heavy head off the pillow and freezes. ghost's on the other side of the room, curled up tight in the corner as far away from soap as he could get without leaving him alone
(he would've left, would've made sure soap never had to see his face again and be reminded of what he did to him, of the monster he’d let into his bed- but he couldn't just leave him unconscious; what if he didn't wake up, he had to make sure he was safe first even if he'll rightfully hate him forever when he does wake up)
soap's voice when he calls out to him makes him flinch, his head burying deeper in his knees. cold worry chases the bliss from his blood and soap pushes himself up but his shaking arms can't hold his weight
the sound of him collapsing back onto the bed makes ghost rear up, his panic growing and soap's heart breaks at his red rimmed eyes
it takes a long time for soap to coax him back to the bed, countless loops of, "sweetheart, please, come here, what happened? it's okay, everything’s going to be okay.”
(and how ghost’s self-hatred grows hearing soap comforting him; hearing the concern and love in his voice when he doesn’t deserve a drop of it)
it takes even longer for ghost to believe soap when he says that he passed out because he felt so good; that he never asked ghost to stop, never wanted him to stop. that he trusts him more than anything and knows he'd rather die than ever hurt him, especially like that
“you’re not a monster, love,” he promises, soft with conviction and it’s as much a surrender as a relief when he collapses into his lap and lets him hold him close
ghost believes johnny but he still can't bring himself to be intimate with him for a while; that fear still haunting him, but soap doesn't hold it against him, doesn't complain about ghost's perceived "step back" in their relationship
hell, ghost seems to hate it more than he does; he misses being with soap, misses the connection, the closeness they shared, the safety and quiet he found in his embrace, but he's always trusted soap more than he trusts himself
soap doesn't let him be consumed by his fear or worse, sabotage them and turn it into a punishment; doesn't let him even get through the suggestion of switching because he knows how much he hates it and he won’t let him twist something as good and pure as their physical love into something self-harming
instead, he brings them back to the basics, working through the steps to get ghost comfortable with intimacy again, to get him to trust himself again; spends happy months just grinding and exchanging handjobs like when their relationship first started
and it's a happy day for them both when soap finally falls apart on his cock once again, anxiety the farthest thing from ghost's mind when his arms are wrapped so tightly around him, kissing a smile against his lips
#i dont want to know what it says about me but i love traumatic misunderstandings?#thing like thinking the other is sh’ing or has an ed or in this case pushed the other beyond their limits#i think its the knowledge that its not true and the love or trust of the souple will win out above the guilt or fear#even less severe ones like thinking the other is mentally ill when they actually time traveled or can see ghosts or whatever#i just really like misunderstandings that have actual weight to them#tw for ghosts comic backstory#but ghost surviving roba and the hell he put him through only to be terrified of being like him? oh that shit Hits#like ghost knows hes fucked up he knows he has trauma and he knows he likes killing people a little too much#but him being scared of that twisting into him becoming like the people that hurt him? very interesting very painful#and him ever thinking that he did that to /johnny/? it would destroy him#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#ghostsoap#soapghost#ghost cod#simon ghost riley#soap cod#john soap mactavish#we’re a team. ghost team#save post#ghoap#call of duty#cod#cod mw2#cod mwii
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Okay so...
This happens randomly. Sure, its funny and I gut laughed. But why do sims have on RANDOM ASS OUFITS that are in none of their category outfits when you load the lots? My dumbass looked to see if Jay switched careers or some shit. I looked at the season to see if it was spooky day.
I am confusion.
#what's wrong with the homie y'all#this happened to Indya too#scared the fuck out of me seeing her in base game shit
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am i gonna put you in the book acknowledgements am i gonna be able to say your name without flinching am i ever gonna get a word in edgewise am i ever gonna recover the time i spent with you. computer virus kid; i arrived in your life already begging to be let in. somehow insecure i could even be your friend. like you had a line outside the door and we were all shifting our weight, begging.
you're so fucking good at that - at making people feel like they need to earn you, like you're a commodity none of us can afford. no kindness or careful communication could work on you - you were so good at just going-ghost, about deciding someone just wasn't cool-enough. something about that is super ironic. even the parts of it that weren't romantic felt like a romance book. i wanted you to like me so badly i scrubbed myself clean just so you'd spare me - what. your favor? a look?
okay okay okay. it's just a friendship - if it was even true that we were friends, if you even saw me as someone you trusted. on reddit someone would tell me girl literally just cut her out of your life, it's not that difficult. even i was aware of how fucked up the whole situation was. like, why the fuck do i even care about your approval? you're like, not even that fun to be around. you are often a little bit cruel.
but for almost four years of my life, i thought i had found someone like me. somebody who liked the same things i do. someone who liked to read and who liked making jokes with esoteric references and who spent maybe too much time on the internet and who was absolutely a little bit pretentious. i don't know, something about that was powerful and addictive.
i keep thinking about our last conversation. about how i said - okay, enough is enough. you pushed me too far, you really hurt my feelings.
and how you laughed and said - you think you're the victim?
#spilled ink#warm up#writeblr#she physically assaulted me and then screamed in my face#but not before sh'ing first and blaming it on me#while she was locked in my bathroom. at 1 in the morning#while i begged her to please just calm down and to try taking a deep breath and to go to sleep#and then she was like - ur just like my abuser#bc she had screamed in my face which was triggering to me and i froze like a deer in the headlights#and since i had shut down at that point evidently i was the problem child#i know she is out there telling our mutual friends i abandoned her and it makes me SO pissed off#like dude you spent so much fucking time forgiving & forgetting that your decrepit asshole of a boyfriend#pushed me down in the fucking hallway#but noooo hes <3 troubled <3 at 43 and divorced#bc according to you it's important that u don't '''see anyone as a monster''#but god forbid i not handle you SCREAMING IN MY FACE#i couldnt even get you to say sorry for crossing my original and only boundary you were like ''what did you want me to do''#babe i said 'the bf is not allowed around here he scares me and u said ur broken up with him'#that was the thing i wanted you to do: not fucking invite him to WHERE I LIVED#godddd typing this shit out and knowing it's only 2% of what actually happened makes me feel pathetic#i can't believe i let you treat me like that. you were a TERRIBLE friend.
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"looks like i win! take that!"
#bro these chapters have been a wild fucking ride omfg#also is this just gonna be a thing i do?? redraw a page from the new chapter????#drawing kous staff made me wanna just#idk commit some violence in general#why is it so complicatedddd 😭😭#toilet bound hanako kun#tbhk#jibaku shounen hanako kun#jshk#tbhk spoilers#jshk spoilers#also chapter 100!! thats crazy#mitsuba sousuke#minamoto kou#mitsukou#fanart#my art#guys do you think i put too much unrelated shit in the tags??#anyways i found out that one of my cats is super scared of tape earlier- that was hilarious#my poor baby 💀💀💀
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DAY 7: i miss my wife bonbon
#codacheetah#isat#loop isat#twohat spoilers#isat act 6 spoilers#SLIDING IN WITH 14 MINUTES TO THE CLOCK YEA BABY#this is like the dollar store version of what i had in my head but in my defense i was out all day. woopsiedoodle#its my personal postcanon headcanon that sif goes on like a several month 'i miss my dead wife' arc about loop bc he thinks they evaporated#into the either infinity war style after their fight. so theyre rlly sad and emo n shit about it but theyre like well. i hope loop is happy#at least. i hope they moved on and found peace :)#meanwhile loop does not know what moving on is they are clawing onto mortality with every last sap of their strength#always approximately 4 seconds from deciding to track down the party#but theyre scared so they spend all their time fuckin playing with birds and scaring kids or whatever#until one day siffrin's like stars i know they probably cant hear me but i miss them. and like does the handsign morosely#and then after several seconds loop picks up like ....hi stardust!!! wow you really didnt miss me that much huh!!!#siffrin voice: YOU'RE NOT FUCKING DEAD?!#anyways what heinous crime did the running one commit. leave your answers in the comments below#also. happy one week of this fucking guy!!!
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Ok, that was the funniest fucking thing I have ever seen in my life. I needed that. I can’t believe q!Jaiden blew up the entire server as her final act lmao
#qsmp#@e-xplosion#seriously what the actual fuck#I can’t wait to go back and rewatch that oh my god#it scared the shit out of me from quackity’s stream
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Guy in the men's room at the library today got Big Mad that I came in to use the stall. He kept saying, "This is the men's bathroom" and "I know I'm a man; I was born with a dick" and various other transphobias. Kept talking shit to the point that I couldn't focus on peeing & getting out of there.
I finally yelled at him to shut the fuck up in my deepest, butchiest voice. He was arguing with me, saying he needed to shit (he had been standing talking to himself in front of the mirror before I came in, so I sorta doubt it). I told him to leave me alone so I could use the restroom. Or that he could use the women's bathroom himself. Thankfully, I'd texted my partner, who came in to help. A librarian also got involved. And this guy kept saying that I was harassing him and that I'd looked like a girl when I walked in. He threatened to call the cops (but didn't). The librarian told him he had to leave, and after some arguing with them, he finally did so. I'm very thankful I had support and allies around me.
So, idk where this fabled male privilege that I supposedly have was in that moment. Maybe it was hiding in my long hair. Maybe I left it home with the binder I barely ever use. Maybe my beard and voice weren't enough to make me pass. Maybe it was too high for me (a whole 5 foot nothing) to reach when I needed it. Or maybe, just maybe... people clock me as trans and therefore my would-be male privilege is extremely conditional based on how much I'm able or willing to conform to the gender binary (which I have no interest in doing).
#almost like all trans people are targeted for their defiance of patriarchal norms#transphobia#transandrophobia#my experiences#my transgender life#to be clear#i wasn't scared so much as ready to fight#this coward thought he could bully me bc we were in there alone#this guy thought i was just gonna sit there and take it#he fucked around and found out#and i hope he did need to shit#and that he had to find a different place to do it#bc it's obvious that what he wanted to do was shame me out of a place that i have every right to be in#and what he got was a one way ticket out of the library for the whole day at least
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youtube
FUCK THEM UPPPPPPP TILL OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDD
The visuals of Till's splash art (in my humble opinion, the best one so far) is STUNNING. AND very interesting.
For Till specifically to cover All-In is an interesting message to give off, All-In is a song about freedom. A type of freedom that allows you to live confidently and freely, creating whatever type of world you want, the stage is yours, so make what you want of it. living confidently in YOUR OWN SKIN. And living freely "cause you only got one life to live"
Freedom is something Till fights for relentlessly, and confidence is a bravado, as by far the most uncontrolled and tested person in the cast, he still fights for his boundaries and self-expression even when he's punished, molded into something he's not, or beaten into obedience, tested far past the limit; he never loses his bite. A wild dog can never be tamed.
This is the cover that follows what becomes of Till after round 6, and still, in Till's all-in, he sounds so raw, pained, energized, and passionate desperation is evident. It's a contrast from HyunA's celebratory cheers and upbeat mood because Till isn't celebrating the idea of freedom; he's angrily proving to everyone, especially the aliens, that he isn't backing down yet and he'll still keep fighting and that he can fight for his own freedom.
Till's cover of All-in is truly the most powerful depiction of Till's fighting spirit, after everything he's gone through, the pain, the grief. It's all in his voice and the way he sings he's pained the entire time he sings and he's aggressive because the fire of his spirit is lit once again. He's going "all-in" so to speak and expressing himself.
The tape around his neck--
It's a contrast to HyunA who doesn't mind showing her brand, even proudly showing it off as a form of reclaiming her individualism.
Till is different. Because being reminded that he is and was once a pet is not something he would want to remember about himself, he will always bitterly try to distance himself from that fact in any way he can, HyunA feels free from the system when she can own it, but when Till sees his branding, he'll still always feel that collar. It's a testament to his self-deprecation, as long as the evidence of his past is present, and he still feels all the pain the aliens inflicted on him, It'd be presumptuous to think he'd ever feel like he can relate and fit in with the other "fools" who are so free.
It'd be presumptuous to think he'd ever feel free. That's what the aliens wanted, right?
Another interesting part of this is that the name 'All-in" is actually a real-life poker reference, to go "all-in" in poker is to voluntarily bet all of your remaining chips, there is nothing else you can do but hope for the best after that point (and hope you win).
When HyunA sings All-in, she deceives you into thinking she has the upper hand or good hand, and that she will win. When Till sings it, he's giving it all away recklessly, he's showing all he has. Basically, him saying fuck it. he doesn't know if he'll win or not but says, "Let's go all-in and risk it all anyways" Even if internally he knows that this is stupid and risky, this is his foolish rebellion.
At this point he has nothing to lose and nothing to gain, it's his final stand as he lets his heart out not for the crowd, but for the family he lost, himself, a form of self-expression. He will be so nervous, so aggrieved but it's the freest he will ever feel on that stage.
The color symbolism also drives me CRAZY.
For his other two splash art, he's been represented with a color close enough to teal. In both songs, he's open when he sings and fully serene. Teal is a generally calming color, and it's not too evocative. It's more emotional (and has it's own reservations)
And then, we have green, which is a general symbol of growth, new beginnings, and freshness. After all, Till has been through all-in is a sign of his growth. And a new era of his life, or in other words a sudden tonal shift from his depressive state in round 6.
And for my favorite (it's not.) part! the head shot, (interesting how his has nearly the biggest impact out of them all.)
A bit of a theory.
It's a bit similar to one particular art of him, he has a little shape that's almost akin to impact from a gunshot near the same area.
So, I think this is tell-tale symbolism for a future injury, but the gun portrayed is a bubble gun. I believe it is symbolism for the wound being non-fatal, so even if Till loses and gets shot, he'll survive, fundamentally changed. and will probably join the rebellion, too.
/side note
The heartbeats in Till's version of all-in are faster and louder than HyunA's version, similar to CURE.
#trust me im qmeng#till all-in cover got me tweaking out big time do you UNDERSTAND how long i waited for this#ever since the teaser#GUHHH#IT'S BEEN IN MY MIND SINCE#i am never sleeping again fuck this#am i crazy about till alien stage no of course not#haahahah#if this sounds like a big rant i just want till to live bear with me WAIT NO COME BACK#im going so crazy about this its not even funny its so serious#this shit is so good though#the growls#and everything#urgh#till alien stage#alien stage#alien stage till#alnst#alnst till#i just really like how this song isnt all that much lika hyunA's in terms of tone#it has the same beat but when you look deeper into it. this is more dark than youd expect#to me it's not a cheerful take on All-IN it's a darker one through the perspective of someone on their final rope aggressively proving he's#not broken#this is also him grieving#everything about this scares me but i have a lot of faith in him.#(praise akugetsu I couldn't thank you enough)#alien stage round 6#alien stage round 7#alien stage analysis
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