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majorbaby · 1 year

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i really enjoyed your post on sidney freedman!!!! i'm wondering, what do you think of radar, as a character or as a storytelling device or both? imagine my little anon sunglasses face resting on my hands smiling so smittenly and kicking my feet. i adore your thoughts theyre SO fun and interesting to read

hi! thank you for your kind words.

In Dear Sigmund good ol’ Sidney tells us rather than shows us the Radar character thesis:

Actually Sigmund, it’s a wonder more people around here don’t take a vacation from reality. Some people even manage to grow - Radar for instance. In so many ways he’s still as innocent and naïve as the local orphans he plays with. And yet this boy keeps this unit, this state of chaos running smoothly.

The early years establish that pretty well without actually saying it outright. I do find Radar very enjoyable during that period, but he had to be completely re-tooled alongside the rest of the show as of Season 4. The reason for that is Radar and Henry were a package deal, maybe even in a more effective way than Trapper and Hawkeye because the former pair gives you some contrast. The gag with Radar-Henry was that Henry was this privileged, middle-aged dude, a surgeon, and the CO at the 4077th, but he’d run the camp into the ground were it not for Radar, an almost-legal child. The point of that seems very clear to me, this lower-class kid from rural Iowa with nothing but street smarts going for him is far more competent than anyone else in the camp. I love that. Without Radar, Trapper and Hawkeye can’t pull off a lot of their hijinks. Henry can be something of a wild card, in theory he’s on HawkTrap’s side, definitely more than I can say Potter was ever on HawkBeej’s side, but the thing with Henry is he likes to be liked by others, including by the army brass, whereas HawkTrap and Radar don’t give a shit about that.

That early version of Radar takes a huge hit when Potter rolls in, and we see Radar’s subversive role diminished significantly. Actually if I were a Radar stan I’d be pretty pissed off about that, but usually my annoyance is reserved for the Potter-Klinger relationship. As a class-dynamics stan, I am heartbroken. Think about what we got instead in the mid-late years when it came to class… Rizzo whose class is the butt of the joke 90% of the time, Klinger who gets really into moneymaking schemes for some reason (think about why the only brown character on the show got that as a character beat) and uh… tha’s it. The next person on the ladder might be Hawkeye. Radar is still around until season 8 but they lean really hard into his being “simple” and infantilizing him and he’s no longer this scrappy, street-wise kid, who Charles frequently refers to as a “bumpkin”. I get why Gary Burghoff might’ve started to tire of playing that, he was nearing 40 by the time he left MASH. The early years allowed his character to be much more complicated in my opinion, and tbh, he was funny as fuck back then.

Radar does get some solid content in 4 - 8. Burghoff is a great actor and he convincingly sells the more dramatic moments like in The Interview, Bug Out, Dear Sigmund, End Run, and Mail Call… Again. I don’t care for the framing of Fallen Idol but I think Burghoff and Alda have good chemistry and it was fun to see some conflict in their relationship. My problem with Radar-centric episodes in that era is they rely on “... and now Radar is all grown up!” as the moral of the story, but that only lasts until the next Radar episode rolls around and he’s a little kid again. I prefer episodes where we get to see him have fun. Your Hit Parade has always been a favourite of mine, I love Radio-DJ Radar.

Unfortunately I think the moment Radar is truly seen as “grown up” on the show is Goodbye Radar parts 1 and 2, which is embarrassingly late imo. We see that he’s now grown up in a few ways: his role as the backbone of the 4077th has a noticeably different tone – people outwardly express their reliance on him, and Radar himself “takes on” the burden of running the unit rather than it magically falling to him, and he argues with Hawkeye on his level about staying. Before all that stuff about Radar was unsaid, and the one time Sidney does say it its preceded by “this 19-year-old is as childlike as the 4-to-5-year-old local Korean kids”. In Goodbye Radar it’s called out multiple times in the open. The other way we see that Radar has “come of age” is he takes more of an assertive role during his encounter with his love interest, Patty. We see him actually go for what he wants, trying to delay his flight, making the first move to kiss her and being noticeably disgruntled at having to leave her behind. I suppose it happens so late because they couldn’t manage him past that point, which is why he continues to be stagnant until that point.

When he does finally “come of age” it doesn’t land well for me because it’s so sudden. This is the same Radar who 10 episodes ago sought advice from the whole camp on how to talk to a pretty nurse in Hot Lips is Back in Town. I think that was the third or fourth time we saw that plot. I love a coming-of-age story but they need to be gradual for them to be effective, and that’s not easy to do on a episodic show. Really with the exception of Margaret and maybe Charles, I don’t know that any of the characters on MASH have a concrete character arc. I’ve gone back and forth with BJ - I like to see an arc there, but I have no clue how intentional it was. And with Margaret and Charles it might be a bit easier because they start out as antagonists.

To be clear though, I don’t think “character development” is a surefire sign of a good character or a good show. I think Hawkeye is a fantastic character and he doesn’t develop much. But when the show made the shift to character drama, certain characters suffered a lot. Radar was one of them, Frank was another which is why Linville’s exit makes so much sense to me and he literally said of Frank, “there’s no where else for this character to go”. So that’s it really – I think Radar was a character who couldn’t quite land the leap to the show’s new format, but who was a fan favourite. He shows up less and less throughout season 7 and the excuse we’re given is that he’s “off on R&R”, so you almost get used to him not being there.

To properly answer your actual question: I think he really worked well as a device in the early years. He buttresses the messaging of the show, he’s on the side of the “anti-regular-army” and – something that I think gets overlooked a lot – he’s fucking horny lmao. He may be virginal but he leers at women, he wants to have sex and go on dates with them, he can be devious and he’s not always automatically on Hawkeye’s side, sometimes he wants something in exchange for his help. It was a very fun vibe. So it was weird for me to see him go from that to this delicate little cherub who is only looking for a pure, lasting love – that was what his character was based around in the character drama years and I don’t care for it. Let Radar fuck tbh. He isn’t 10 years old, he’s 18-19-20.

There is also this thing I wrote about him that got way more traction than I could’ve imagined. It started out as a meta post but I kinda hit flow with it and just started writing… it’s half-way between meta and prose and it generally sums up my feelings about Radar in a less analytical way that I’ve done here.

Thank you so much for the interesting ask!

#mash #re: mash #radar meta #radar o'reilly #replies #long post #class on mash

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swampgallows · 1 month

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im job searching again and theres one near me thats like art therapy (it says 'instructor' but the job description sounds more like art therapy) for a disability center but it would require me coming up with a curriculum and all this other teacher shit and i really dont know if id be capable of that. my sister is a teacher so she's constantly trying to convince me id be a good teacher because that's what she does. it's what she knows and likes and so she assumes it's the most important thing anyone can do. like the same way people tell me id be a good mom when i have zero if not negative desire to ever be around children let alone in charge of their welfare. at this point i feel like just giving myself to the lowest bidder because i cannot envision a future for myself or consider my own needs or dreams at all.

maybe if i were at a stage in my life where i could be more cerebral i might be capable of something like coming up with curricula and lessons but right now im so mentally and socially and academically (and honestly, physically) atrophied that i need something really fucking small and simple just to get me being a person again. which dept of rehab was supposed to be helping me with but theyre completely useless. i have so few employable skills and even the things i know i dont seem to do well enough to get employed. id desperately want to learn but nobody trains anymore and although i yearn to go back to school or take classes or any kind of training at all everything has inherent covid risk unless it's fully remote.

i should probably just look into volunteer work or something to get me living again but again covid risk has hamstrung most of what i would consider to be good opportunities. i dunno man i just feel so stuck. every moment i progress a little more, something yanks me back. either i keep failing to be functional for more than a month at a time, or i get wildly abused in the workplace (a la amazon), or i risk lc/stroke/death because masking is 'bad customer service'. at the same time im starting to accept that this is really truly what life is going to be like for me from here on out. it's taken four years but it's starting to actually settle in that this is life, it's not a nightmare i can wake up from, and i am no longer in a passing storm that im trying to wait out. the storm will not end, it's going to keep raining, and i have to figure out how to live underwater. even though i could very easily die from the pressure and lack of air (and so could everyone else but they "cant live in fear!!1") i have to just find a way to survive under the crushing depths.

i honestly dont know what i have to live for or what kind of future there could ever be for me but since i couldnt even kill myself i guess i have to be around for it.

#blathering

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fakeuwus · 11 months

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here's my orange blood review that absolutely nobody asked for:

sweet venom: i liked the mannequin challenge lowkey LOL it was rlly cool but what i didn't like was how only one set was used and the SAME mannequin sequence was reused, just replacing members. it seems that belift rushed this filming bc it isn't nowhere near the effort they've put into their other mvs. also, HYBE WHY ARE U ALLERGIC TO BRIDGES??? WHY IS SWEET VENOM LESS THAN 2 AND A HALF MINUTES?? like just imagine a bridge where it slows down a little and picks back up with a lil dance break... (i should be a producer me thinks) moving on to the positives, their vocals sound so good!! jay opening the song did it for me and tbh i rlly do like it. it contrasts bite me which was their goal and the "sweet hee hee" is going to catch on fast. plus, i'm one for upbeat, fun songs and im really happy that jay got to contribute to the writing!! i just wish it was longer /: plus u can see the michael jackson influence in this cb which i can appreciate

mortal: i love her so much. there's like A LOT of monolouging but the melody is really pretty and their vocals sound amazing. it makes me feel like im frolicking in a field fr. i love jake's closing lines bc it rlly sets up the storyline of the album.

still monster: don't come for me i know she's already a fan favorite but i'll have to listen to it a few more times. ITS GOOD THOUGH. jungwon's voice in the pre-chorus LIKE CMON. i think it matches the vibe of sweet venom, just a slower ver of it if ykwim. i think the performance will solidify everything for me and reporters said the choreo was rlly good.

blind: ONE OF MY FAVS. jay's vocals omg he is really showing off his singing this comeback. i cant explain why i love it so much BUT JUST KNOW SHE IS IT!! FOR ME. ((the "wait a minute" part HITS)) ((so does the bridge))

orange flower (you complete me): ive already said this before BUT I JUST KNEW IT WAS GOING TO BE MY FAV. (it has the same writer from bills, one of my fav enha songs) they really tricked us playing the slower version for the trailer TT (hybe pls release that ver as well i NEED her) the song makes me feel really happy and the lyrics are so<33 this is definitely a song for the fans with lyrics like "color my world... you complete me" again gotta highlight jay's vocals bc i love vocalist jay!!

sweet venom (eng ver.): same notes as written before but it sounds good in english!! not awkward at all and i can see myself listening to both versions.

overall, the members emphasized the storyline they were trying to create and that it was a continuation from bite me. i think with watching the trailers and knowing both storylines it makes you appreciate the message they were trying to send. the songs fit well together as a mini album and i can see why the members love this comeback so much. i just wish belift/hybe took a little more time crafting the title track and put more effort into the mv but what can we expect from that company... im extremely proud of the boys bc theyve been working nonstop for so long and it makes me happy that they also love the songs bc i want them to release music theyre proud of.

anyways tysm if u read this all, pls send me what u guys think as well and let's talk ab it!!! 🫶🏼

#nic thinks ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆#enhypen #sweet venom #orange blood #Spotify

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sophieinwonderland · 11 months

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hi sophie! im not sure if youre the right person to ask this, but you seem like you might be able to answer since youve posted some kinda-related topics a couple times before? first i want to add a bit of context: im a singlet (i dont share my body/brain with anyone else) and i believe in object sentience. i talk with objects near-daily but i think theyre completely separate from me (different minds, souls and bodies)

with that in mind, would it be okay if me and my objects use plural terms (like headmate/host/other roles, -genic terms, other stuff) and openly call ourselves plural/use a system name? (like "the [blank] collective/system") or is this offensive to people with typical plural experiences (multiple people in one body/mind)? sorry if this is insulting, im genuinely not sure if we'd be invading plural spaces if we started identifying as a plural system, so i wanted to check with someone who already is a system on if this was okay.

should probably also clarify: we already know about the posic community; i was thinking of experimenting with plural labels since (at least for me) i think we might fit in/relate more to plural people's experiences than we do with posic people.

That's really interesting!

Personally, I have no issue with you using plural terms for this sort of experience.

I think you'll run into an issue where using these terms could create confusion where people will assume your companions are headmates who share a body with you. But on the other hand, if they're interested in seeking out companionship and making friends online through you, then being seen as headmates sharing a body could be a huge help to them being treated as people.

Ultimately, I think if you feel plural, you have a right to identify as plural. 😁

#plural #plurality #endogenic #multiplicity #systems #system #plural system #pro endo #posic+#actually plural #endogenic system #sysblr #system stuff #posic #pro endogenic #endo safe

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anzynai · 11 months

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I JUST FINISHED READING ALL THE BOOKS FROM THE GLORIOUS MASQUERADE

and i have some thoughts i’d like to share about it

(keep in mind there are spoilers obv!!)

SO FIRST OF ALL, apologies to that anon who sent me the ask about rollo a few weeks back (i barely knew who rollo was at the time so i didn’t know how to respond) BUT I WILL GET TO U SOON. literally binge read every book starting from FRIDAY. so i’ve been very very busy.

first about my love azul, i love his personality so much. i like how he sticks to it too, like call it selfish (it kinda is) but he doesn’t DO things for no reason. yet, i feel like even as manipulative he seems, he still has his pride. i also enjoy that his personality doesn’t get in the way of caring for his friends. ie. getting jade and floyd the gifts he gave them, especially catering the gift to what they liked. even though, he said he would technically expect something, i can tell he just genuinely cares for them.

despite that, i think it’s also pretty cool that he does THE SAME THING essentially for epel and deuce, even if it’s just to get on their good side. it’s just kinda a “classic azul” kinda scheme and i live for it!!

NOT TO MENTION, how cool he was??? i loved that he got to play such a big part in this event. like, making a deal with deuce for his magic??? SO SMART. love him. being so precise with his magic that malleus compliments him???? beautiful. an added bonus that he got a bit shy ab it too it’s so cute

also, i love how jamil takes every chance he can get to get a dig at azul. people always are like “jamil hates him!!” and all that but jamil always teasing azul suggests otherwise??? its pretty cool. obviously, i dont think its like (realistically speaking) theyre like besties or whatever but they definitely don’t hate each other.

i thought another thing that was nice was azul and idia’s relationship. it’s a strange kind of comfort between each other. idia ALWAYS finds him as some shady guy, but nonetheless, of all the people he would speak to, he seemed most comfortable and talked to azul the most. boards game club rlly helped out with team bonding.

another thing with idia is that i love how antisocial he is because it’s just such a core part of his personality but he makes it work!! yet, he’s not modest at all??? I LOVE THAT. like he knows his worth and it surprised me but i still loved it. like that scene with the exploding rag thingies, he was so proud of himself and had absolutely no shame in asking for compliments because he knew what he did was genius??? love him so much.

I LOVED that part where ruggie and jamil tweaked together to basically use the students from the other schools as human shields LOLL they weren’t lying when they said they were gonna use dirty methods but somehow it feels a bit refreshing knowing it’s not all “kiss and make it better” and then it actually gets better. like ruggie and jamil (two important characters) are not innocent and completely good, yk?? i really love that they did that.

also i adore their dynamic. they’re both so similar and they didn’t know it until this event and i just KNOW they’ll get along amazingly in the future.

i also enjoy jamil’s personality when he’s not around kalim. i really liked this in the first main story, but jamil just seems like this very monotone “do as told” kinda average person whenever he’s near kalim (which makes sense because he’s meant to make kalim shine) but it’s really nice getting to see his real personality away from him (a personality that pairs very well with ruggies and loves to tease others especially azul)

i officially LOVE malleus. i adore that he seems like such a scary guy, but he just wants friends. the way he was marking off the days in his calendar or even prepared a whole performance??? AMAZINF. and how he was so upset because the invitation wasn’t genuine??? like that’s so sweet to me, i don’t know.

also it’s hilarious to me how no one wants to get on his bad side. that one scene where rollo said he didn’t need to talk to rocks and malleus just sent him a glare and he immediately said “i’ll think about it” GOLDEN. or like how idia and azul were a bit cautious because they didn’t want to make him angry. it’s so funny

now, rollo. honestly, i feel like i expected worse. i think his story is really interesting and id like to get more info about it. i find it really cool that rollo and idia actually have a lot in common and idia actually hinted at it quite a few times.

honestly, i think it’s sad how i think rollo genuinely thought he was in the right??? or maybe he doesn’t know what’s right from wrong but there’s so many ways people cope and his was just.. not good for people. but ALSO the flowers don’t kill the people right??? i’m not sure i think it just takes their magical power. not really justifying what he did but i can understand WHY he did it. i really like him and i hope we can see more of him soon.

THATS ALL I HAVE FOR NOW. honestly, don’t really think anyone’s gonna read this but… it’s here anyway?? really enjoyed this event 🙌🙌

#twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland glorious masquerade #glorious masquerade #jai talks a lot #random jai stuff

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ur-blxxdy-valentine · 5 months

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its the fact im about to starting laughing and have a psychotic brerak instead of a fucking mental breakdwon, well aftet a mental breakdown hahahahaha. what the fuck is the point anymore? why the fuck do i have to live? im about to write a fucking suicide note. i really cant anymore lol. i cant..... why does she fucking hate me? why is she leaving me? what di di do to them? nothing....... yeah mt bpd fucking bpd-ed all the time before her father forced her to delte everything nad stop talking to me but it has to be a fucking lie now. BECAUSE WHY ELSE WOULD SHE WOULD HAVE CHANGED HER PROFILE PIC ON DISCORD AFTER ALL THESE MONTHS TO IZZY FUCKING STRADLIN IN COQETTE FUCKING AESTHETIC FROM LANA DEL REY!?!?!? IF SHE HAS SOCIAL MEDIA SHE SHOULD BE FUCKING TALKING TO ME. I'VE BEEN BLOWING UP HER FUCKING TUMBLR. THAT'S ALL I'VE DONE EVERY SINGLE DAY MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY. BUT LOL SHE FUCKING HATES ME. THEY ALL HATE ME. IM LOSING MY BESTFRIEND AND MY MAX AFTER ALL THIS TIME. THEYRE LEAVING ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. THEY PROMISED. SHE PROMISED ME SHE WOULDNT LEAVE. WHY DOES EVERYONE FUCKING HATE ME!? WHY ME!? WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME!?

I cant fucking breathe, i cant stop crying........my everything hurts. im about to puke. and suicide is seeming perfect and im to the point of tryin gagain because nothing is fucking owrth it again, im down this fucking hole so bad like i was one other time and atp im going to be determined to fucking succeed in it. im such a worthless shitty human being i really cant keep trying anymore.

-🔥

hey Snow listen. if they choose not to talk to you that is on them. that is not about you as a person. i don’t have the power to stop you. all i can say is you’re losing every opportunity if you end it all right now. you’re losing any chance at happiness you’ll ever get and you are solidifying a life of pure misery. live out of spite if you want i don’t fucking know. but other people shouldn’t dictate your life. it’s your life and their decisions are on them. yeah, it hurts like hell. it feels like the end of the world and like everything is collapsing around you. god, do i understand that completely. those people, however, are just fishes in the sea. there are billions of people in this world and there’s someone that will stay with you and that truly are worth your time. i can confidently say now, that if i died in the moments that i wanted to i would’ve lost the best things that have ever happened to me. it’s a battle for sure. everyday is hard as hell and sometimes it feels like im damn near an inch of my life left. then i stop, i physically and mentally stop. i think of anything that made me smile that day. i think of just something that shut my brain off for a second. i know you have something. i know if you tried you’d think of something. then, you’d have to focus on that thought. something made you happy. one small thing in life is there to remind you that not every second has to be hell. now, think of all the places you’ve been, things you’ve done, things you’ve seen. i doubt you’ve seen everything this world has to offer. i’m sure there’s things you still want to do. there’s things in this world constantly being created, opportunities being presented, millions of things that have the potential of changing everything for you. so many new things that could make you as happy as the one thing you’re thinking of. your possibilities are literally endless! unless you decide to end them for yourself. you don’t give yourself the time to meet someone who stays and loves you, the time to turn your life around, the time to do all you dream of. you end it all now. it’s all choice. it’s your choice and i’m not here to tell you what to do. just don’t let any one person dictate your life. focus on you. what do you truly want?

#valentine 🧸#❤️‍🔥 anon #idk if this makes any sense omfg

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anzuhan · 6 months

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im gonna talk a bit ab my sometimes negative feelings ab tieria or moreso ab why i dislike him for completely unrelated things sometimes because . i hope maybe i seem less insane that way </3 also under cut cause it may be a larger wall of text otherwise (edit after im done yes it is a very big wall of text)

its been 3 months and ive not stopped caring any lesser for innovades as a whole, and quite frankly i dont think ill ever see a day in the near future at least when i wont hold them in such high regard due to how dear they are to me

the no1 thing that bothers me about tieria is not really him but sometimes how i see SOME fans of his behave; though i dont really mean people from here because this place has the most normal of you ppl ive seen 😭 what bugs me most is that theres so many posts preaching tieria for things that are general innovade things. the gender? well guess what all combat types (which are most of all innovades we see besides anew) are neutral in everything. s2e8? are we gonna ignore the change in hiling from s1 reveal to s2 (and bring cutting his hair but this is less important to this and was mostly done bc they decided to change his design from the initial one by yun kouga </3 but ill take it as he wasnt feelin it n cut his hair). hell man even just the fact he's an innovade and the concept is cool? i get it, but guess what, hes not the only innovade in existence. it would not be as annoying if i would ever even see posts like these at all about the rest of them too ; and im not even asking people to like people from within innovators that would be harder to like (i.e ribbons regene hiling trio of what's wrong w you three (affectionate)), we have anew that id find it hard for anyone to dislike her. if you want to praise an innovade for the neutral aspect that anew doesnt otherwise have, there's also revive which despite his high involvement in innovators plans is not that bad (i.e not being strongly against humans and even nice to some he gets to be around like kati); we have laetitia from g00f10r, we have sky that appears in awot (though. dead </3) and you may want to learn more about him from other extra mangas and oneshots we have, and theres TONS of innovades all across the g00f/i/v/n etc. mangas (<- so many i cant even keep count anymore) and one more introduced in the s2 live stageplay, and not all of these are 'bad' or at least i dont think theyre hardly lovable or enjoyable. all i want is if innovade concept is being praised in tieria, lest there be some love for the rest of them too, please </3

on the side note i am also ABSOLUTELY baffled that there is an insane amount of still dedicated nena fans these days and yet no hiling fans. these two are the same breed of insane woman and only the extra quirky one gets love.. 😔 (nothing against nena fans btw shoutout to the trinities)

#the sumi rambles

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pesterloglog · 9 months

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Dave Strider, Dirk Strider

Act 6, page 7917-7922

DAVE: damn

DAVE: and i thought our houses were pointlessly tall before

DAVE: it just doesnt stop from keep constantly getting more and more vertically enormous

DIRK: Shit is downright precipitous at this point.

DIRK: Like, upways.

DAVE: haha yeah

DAVE: we made sure as fuck not to come right out and literally describe that building as tall

DIRK: Hell yes.

DIRK: Who needs small and serviceable adjectives when the most ass-backwards way of saying a thing is right there, tantalizingly hidden within the vast ocean of language.

DIRK: Like a treasure in a huge shitty clam.

DAVE: we are way on the same page philosophically here

DIRK: Who is surprised by this?

DIRK: Zero people, is who.

DAVE: sounds like a club for losers to me

DAVE: theyre lucky they dont have any members, otherwise theyd all be lame as hell

DIRK: Yeah.

DAVE: so uh

DAVE: why do the houses need to be so tall again

DAVE: i never actually understood that

DAVE: except to reach the gates but once we all figured out how to fly and shit that became so pointless

DIRK: Yeah. After a while in the game, building kind of stopped mattering.

DIRK: Except near the end. Getting them to the top is just a point of completion.

DIRK: Then you dump the grist rig on top of it, apparently.

DIRK: That lets the thing spray out all the grist from the hoard in the planet's core, kind of like a huge oil derrick I guess.

DAVE: oh

DAVE: how do you know this

DAVE: do you guys have like a manual or

DIRK: I'm in communication with Arquiusprite.

DIRK: He's working on it now.

DAVE: so youre in communication with him like...

DAVE: RIGHT now?

DIRK: Yes.

DIRK: Via my shades.

DIRK: Which he incidentally used to be.

DIRK: Like, as a computer, which he lived inside as my Auto-Responder.

DAVE: right

DAVE: and

DAVE: uh

DAVE: why... did you make that thing again

DAVE: not that you ever told me before

DAVE: 'again' is just like a stammering tack-on to that sentence so as to try and not sound too fucking rude

DIRK: I don't think it's a rude question. It's perfectly fair to wonder what was going through my head when I made him.

DIRK: I've spent a lot of time wondering about that myself.

DAVE: so you just

DAVE: straight up programmed a copy of your brain

DIRK: There was some programming involved, but also a bit of cheating, through the mapping of a captchalogued ghost-imprint of my brain.

DIRK: I guess part of it was just about trying to understand myself.

DIRK: But I don't think I would have put it that way at the time. For a while I insisted he was meant to be a "debate partner" or some horseshit.

DIRK: I was pretty young, and had some stupid ideas.

DIRK: About irony in particular. But also a lot of mostly faux-intellectual thoughts on a wide variety of topics.

DIRK: Like philosophy, consciousness, programming, identity, history, ancient pop-culture... really it ran the full gamut of pretension.

DIRK: Not that I don't still find that stuff interesting. I'd just like to think I'm somewhat less full of shit about it all now.

DAVE: yeah me too

DAVE: i mean, about my interests and stuff

DIRK: Creating him was an interesting exercise I guess, but over the years I came to see his development as one of my biggest mistakes.

DIRK: He sort of turned into a monster. But I could never bring myself to get rid of him, or even really blame him for being an asshole, because he wasn't actually that different from me.

DIRK: Like, by definition.

DIRK: He seems alright as Arquius though. At least it keeps him busy, obsessing over his muscles, asking for milk and shit like that.

DAVE: hmm

DAVE: i guess i started some projects i regretted

DAVE: but nothin like making a milk weirdo eventually exist

DAVE: it sounds fucked up but is also kind of an awesome story in its own way

DIRK: I guess so.

DAVE: maybe im lucky i was never that good with computers

DAVE: now computer ART thats a different story

DAVE: ok it actually isnt i fuckin suck at that too

DAVE: but dammit i try my best and make some magic happen at least in my own mind so maybe thats good enough

DIRK: It certainly worked out for you in my universe.

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: i mean

DAVE: i DID captchalogue my own ghost brain once but i didnt know what to make of that and thought it was kinda weird so that never really went anywhere

DAVE: probably for the best

DIRK: It definitely is.

DIRK: Tinkering with your own mind, or identity or whatever... it's a dark road to go down.

DIRK: There are enough splinters of everyone running around out there as it is, just as a natural byproduct of our reality. For me in particular. Probably for you too, as a time player.

DIRK: That process doesn't need to be encouraged or fucked with.

DAVE: for real

DAVE: my bro did cool things with computers too

DAVE: i mean nothin like making a clone of his brain or anything thank god

DAVE: just some absurd bullshit with web bots and stuff mostly to help prop up his various "enterprises"

DIRK: You mean the porn stuff?

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: but with puppets of course

DAVE: it was always about the puppets

DIRK: Naturally.

DAVE: he made all these porn bots that would just talk to each other in a chatroom endlessly

DAVE: all like gettin each other riled up about squishy bottoms and whatnot

DAVE: actually it was pretty entertaining to watch them go at it for hours

DAVE: i think they may have been teetering on the threshold of SOMETHING resembling self awareness?

DAVE: except they only seemed to apply that faculty to reach even more heightened states of sexual excitement for a bunch of nude soft puppets

DIRK: That sounds...

DIRK: Oddly rewarding.

DIRK: I mean, not to say he wasn't still a douche.

DIRK: But as a pastime, cultivating a group of earnest, erotic puppet-loving chatbots sounds so much more relaxing than painstakingly constructing a version of your own brain, and then arguing with it for years thereafter.

DIRK: Almost like tending to a little flock of pigeons.

DAVE: yeah you know he did some cool things

DAVE: it wasnt necessarily all inherently terrible

DAVE: things i would really appreciate under better circumstances

DAVE: he definitely had a lot of drive and also some uh "ideas" that warranted a certain amount of respect i guess

DAVE: he just

DAVE: maybe should not have been allowed near a child?

DAVE: sall im sayin

DIRK: Sounds about right.

DIRK: We really don't have to talk about him anymore though, if it is going to stir up more bad shit for you.

DAVE: nah im alright

DAVE: i think that is all mostly out of my system

DAVE: i mean not forever because i dont think thats how things work

DAVE: i just mean my venting fit is over and im probably good for another 16 years or so and i can return to being mostly deadpan and rad

DIRK: Ok.

DIRK: Well, in sixteen years, if you need someone to vent to again, let me know.

DAVE: sure

DAVE: assuming we havent been killed by like 10 jacks before that i will

DAVE: you certainly seem to be the right guy for that

DIRK: For what?

DAVE: i mean like the most suitable recipient of my hysterical fits on that particular subject

DAVE: there is no way i would ever tell karkat all that

DAVE: i mean maybe some stuff but not ALL the stuff its just too heavy

DAVE: i certainly wasnt gonna mention the stuff to rose or john or jade or whoever else

DAVE: if i was ever gonna do one of my patented acrobatic pirouettes off that particular handle to anyone it really only could have been at him

DAVE: except he was dead

DAVE: and even if he wasnt and i did say all that shit

DAVE: theres no way it would have resulted in anything resembling reconciliation

DAVE: which i think

DAVE: was something i kinda needed

DAVE: but didnt realize it

DAVE: so....

DAVE: thank you for being a really plausible stand in for him who i could rip to shreds??

DAVE: while still being basically innocent of all that terrible garbage

DAVE: so you end up sorta being like an avatar for him that is much easier to forgive

DAVE: i mean

DAVE: maybe FORGIVE isnt the right word because im not sure he deserves that and anyway it doesnt matter because hes been dead for years and at this point is just an irrelevant deceased weirdo who doesnt matter anymore

DAVE: i guess i mean coming around to a place where i dont have to feel rotten all the time anymore

DAVE: and i guess im lucky i got to blunder into a reality that just happened to have the exact right version of a dude which made that possible for me

DAVE: sorry this fuckin ramble is really getting away from me

DAVE: i have no idea if im making sense anymore

DIRK: I think I get it.

DIRK: And sure.

DIRK: You're welcome for me existing.

DAVE: hey can that be like

DAVE: the motto on our family crest

DIRK: I think it already is.

DAVE: all that melodramatic sadbabble aside

DAVE: i think its perfectly cool if youre still curious about your adult self

DAVE: and i dont mind tellin you more stuff about him if you want

DAVE: i know im still wondering about what my adult self got up to

DIRK: Yeah.

DIRK: Well like I said, any time you want to know more, feel free to ask.

DAVE: kay how about

DAVE: we do this thing

DAVE: when i met roxy we did a thing

DIRK: A thing?

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: its called the lightning round

DIRK: That does sound like a Roxy thing.

DIRK: Does it by any chance involve asking a rapid-fire series of questions, some of which end up being a bit too personal or invasive?

DAVE: well yeah when she does it

DAVE: we could be chill though

DAVE: when it comes to asking about each others secret crushes and shit

DIRK: Then I guess I will disclaim in advance that I don't have any, and I don't care about yours even if you do.

DAVE: it is settled then on the fact that we are a couple of cool dudes who know where to draw the line on certain topics

DIRK: Cool.

DIRK: So how do we start.

DIRK: Whose lightning round is this, mine or yours?

DAVE: it can be yours go ahead shoot

DIRK: Ok.

DIRK: How...

DIRK: Did...

DIRK: He, um,

DIRK: Come to "adopt" you?

DAVE: i was a baby and i came down to earth on a meteor while riding a pony with a pink heart on its ass

DAVE: he found me in a crater on top of a dead pony and gave me a lil baby pair of shades that look exactly like the ones youre wearin now

DIRK: I see.

DIRK: So you decided to ditch those shades for the aviator glasses?

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: years ago john got me these for my bday

DAVE: it might have been like an "ironic dare" to wear them i dont remember

DAVE: but when i got em i was like hell yeah im wearing these

DAVE: gonna rock these fuckers til the end of time

DAVE: they were ben stillers

DAVE: like literally

DAVE: they actually touched his weird sort of gaunt face in one of his films

DIRK: Wait...

DIRK: THE Stiller?

DAVE: yeah

DIRK: Incredible.

DIRK: Also, such a shame what happened to that poor man.

DAVE: wait what happened to him

DIRK: I can tell you when it's your lightning round.

DIRK: Or mine. Whatever. I'm still not sure whose lightning round it is when you're the one asking questions.

DAVE: dunno ask roxy

DIRK: Ok. Anyway, didn't mean to interrupt.

DAVE: but yeah we would send each other stuff sometimes

DAVE: me and john

DAVE: well we all would

DAVE: usually absurd birthday packages and such

DIRK: We did that too.

DIRK: Except I had to send things through time.

DIRK: Always had to figure out stuff small enough to send through the sendificator, even if it was piece by piece.

DAVE: nice

DAVE: one time it turned out we ACCIDENTALLY sent presents through time

DAVE: i mean not literally, more in a roundabout way

DAVE: we all sent john a rabbit

DAVE: but all three rabbits just turned out to be the same damn rabbit

DAVE: because of stupid time shit

DIRK: Once I deliberately and quite literally sent a rabbit through time.

DIRK: It was a robot.

DAVE: wow

DIRK: He was a loyal friend to Jane. I don't know what happened to him though.

DAVE: yeah i dunno what happened to johns rabbits either

DAVE: rabbits am i right

DIRK: I hear you, man.

DAVE: what next

DIRK: Hm.

DIRK: You say he owned Cal as well?

DAVE: yep

DIRK: Did he come down to Earth on a meteor with Cal too?

DAVE: i think so

DAVE: that was a long time ago

DAVE: kinda weird to imagine him strutting around with that puppet as a kid in the 80s

DAVE: or maybe just kinda funny actually

DAVE: he sure held on to it a long time

DAVE: must have gotten attached at a really early age and just never let go

DAVE: i guess you fell to earth with one of those things too?

DIRK: Yeah.

DIRK: But if I came to Earth on a meteor the same way you all did, then I guess I just got dunked right in the fucking ocean.

DIRK: Which makes sense. One of my earliest memories is of using Cal as a flotation device.

DIRK: So he sorta saved my life in a way. I guess I bonded with him too, the way your bro did, even if that sounds a bit stupid.

DIRK: Then again, it didn't help matters much that I lived alone in the middle of the ocean. He was my only real life friend. I mean, until I built some new ones.

DAVE: hmm wait we fucked up

DAVE: i asked you a question its not my turn

DAVE: keep firing

DIRK: Ok.

DIRK: How did your bro die?

DAVE: he died fighting one of these jacks

DAVE: at this point i almost forget which one

DAVE: no wait

DAVE: ok yeah it was the omnipotent dog one

DAVE: the jack from our session

DAVE: he was fighting like a lesser form of him and then jack got extra prototyped by dog powers and then got outmatched and stabbed with his own sword

DAVE: pretty sure davesprite was fighting with him and almost died too but then it turned out he didnt

DAVE: but now im at least 99% sure that davesprite is DEFINITELY dead and wont suddenly reappear as a stupid surprise or anything

DIRK: I hate stupid surprises.

DAVE: word

DIRK: So, you said he "trained" you.

DIRK: I'm guessing that means he knew what was coming?

DIRK: Or, some things about your future, at least?

DAVE: seems that way

DAVE: not sure what he knew or how he knew it

DAVE: all our guardians seemed to know bits and pieces of stuff and did vague mysterious things to prepare

DAVE: to this day i have no idea if he was training me to fight lord english or if he even knew who that guy was on any conscious level

DAVE: or it was more like general purpose training to be able to survive some hard shit after the end of the world happened

DAVE: youd have to ask him but thats impossible

DAVE: i do know he managed to get the drop on a meteor before i entered the game

DIRK: What?

DAVE: as far as i can tell he stood on top of it and split it in half with his sword

DIRK: Um,

DIRK: Not to be too much of a wet blanket on that rad as fuck anecdote, but that sounds kind of far fetched.

DAVE: yeah it does doesnt it

DAVE: but then again so does a baby getting dunked from space in the ocean then floating on a weird doll and then growin up by himself with no adults around

DIRK: That's not far fetched. It was pretty straightforward.

DIRK: I think I just found a building poking out of the water, climbed up, then I just started foraging for food in there like a feral infant.

DIRK: Supplies which I'm sure your adult self must have left behind for me, seeing as he clearly must have known some things about the future too.

DIRK: Speaking of which, maybe it's your turn now?

DAVE: yeah ok

DAVE: questions about me hmm lets see

DAVE: ok FIRST the fuck of all

DAVE: what happened to ben stiller

DIRK: He was deemed a heretic, and was crucified on the Washington Monument by some clowns.

DAVE: wow

DIRK: Due to his dedication to freedom and peace, he came to be seen as a martyr, and then a holy figure.

DIRK: He was left on the monument as an example to all, but thousands of faithful gathered below to gaze up at his pious, sort of gaunt face.

DIRK: For years thereafter, his followers would carve stone busts of him in his memory, capturing the piercing glare of his final expression.

DIRK: But they were all smashed to pieces by the presidential church.

DIRK: That religious movement didn't last very long.

DIRK: Rumor has it the batterwitch had a lot of experience crushing righteous insurrections.

DAVE: did my adult self get pissed about stiller

DAVE: i bet he got pissed

DIRK: Yeah. There was a whole series of final insults that led to his active rebellion, instead of just producing subversive media.

DIRK: At one point, the witch "remastered" all of his films to clean up all the shitty artifacts, and released them in stunning high-def quality all over the world, using a rational business model and everything.

DIRK: That REALLY set him off.

DAVE: what the fuck

DAVE: how fucking dare that woman

DAVE: so then he tried to kill the batterwitch right

DAVE: who is the same exact alien as the condesce in this session??

DIRK: Yes. Same one.

DIRK: And yeah, he teamed up with Rose from the same era.

DIRK: They supposedly put up a good fight, but both died.

DAVE: so...

DAVE: does john know that he is literally about to go fight betty crocker yet or what

DIRK: I have no idea.

DIRK: I really don't know John at all, or any of your friends.

DIRK: I know Jane was the heiress to the Crocker brand. Uh, obviously? It is her name after all.

DIRK: Was John the heir to that empire in his universe?

DAVE: nah

DAVE: i mean not to my or his knowledge

DAVE: he just fuckin hated that company for some reason

DAVE: i think his reason was literally as mundane as just being slightly overexposed to cake

DAVE: thats classic john though he doesnt get pissed about anything except for the absolute dumbest shit

DAVE: but i guess his instincts were right in this case

DAVE: maybe we should just

DAVE: not tell him

DAVE: that hes fightin crocker i think the poor dude has probably had enough mental breakdowns for one adventure

DAVE: we all have

DIRK: I'd like to get to know him.

DIRK: Not to mention Rose and Jade. Would have been nice to hang out and chat, in a circumstance where we weren't supposed to prepare for an imminent deadly struggle.

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: well i guess we could have hung out there a few minutes longer

DAVE: i mean you wouldnt have got much outta jade who is stuck in perma-nap mode

DAVE: just like old times i guess

DIRK: Huh?

DAVE: she used to sleep a lot

DIRK: Ah.

DAVE: but yeah there wasnt much time except for like a bunch of heys and oh nice to meet yous

DAVE: and also i think i would have still been a shitty train wreck socially if we all just hunkered down right then and there for another extensive round of freestyle paltalk

DIRK: Right, I was kind of nervous about lingering there for more than a minute too.

DIRK: Mainly because of Jake.

DIRK: I didn't want to make him uncomfortable.

DIRK: I think I have done enough of that.

DAVE: i guess jake was kinda like your john of the group huh

DAVE: wait that was a pretty dumb observation never mind

DIRK: Nah, sounds about right.

DIRK: Seems like John was your close buddy growing up, and Jake was mine.

DAVE: john and i never really had anything like a falling out

DAVE: except for not talkin to each other for a few years on account of being on a meteor and boat respectively

DAVE: but i guess you two had some buddy troubles or somethin?

DIRK: Yes. A lot of buddy troubles.

DIRK: I vaguely touched on it earlier. I was a really bad influence in his life.

DAVE: what happened

DIRK: A lot of things, that were mostly my fault.

DIRK: Basically, I think I bullied him into dating me.

DIRK: Although I had plenty of "help" from my Auto-Responder.

DIRK: There were a lot of insane plans that he hatched on my behalf.

DIRK: But in fairness, I went along with them.

DIRK: To this day, I can't really tell how much of that bullshit was his doing, and how much was mine, which I've just covered up through denial or selective memory.

DAVE: wait

DAVE: you

DAVE: you dated jake?

DIRK: Yeah.

DIRK: That didn't last long though.

DIRK: It was really lopsided and kind of forced.

DAVE: ...

DAVE: so

DAVE: you

DAVE: ...

DAVE: hmm

DIRK: What?

DAVE: nothing

DAVE: i think were breakin one of the rules here

DAVE: this tangent got too personal

DIRK: Oh yeah.

DIRK: I forgot we weren't doing that.

DIRK: Anyway, carry on. You were asking about adult Dave?

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: so that covers how he died

DAVE: taking a futile stand against some unbeatable foe

DAVE: cant say im too surprised about that cause what else is even new

DAVE: what about his early life though

DAVE: guess i arrived around the same year my bro did in my universe?

DAVE: just came down on the same dead horse i rode in on

DAVE: into a world full of opportunities

DAVE: how did i get started

DIRK: His early life isn't well documented.

DIRK: There's hardly anything to read about him until he broke into show business with a few obscure projects at the turn of the century.

DIRK: It all snowballed from there.

DAVE: i guess the one thing we know for sure is i didnt find a kid in a crater and take him under my wing

DAVE: that was probably for the best

DIRK: Heh.

DAVE: actually maybe its better that most of his story is left to my imagination

DAVE: kinda like how you said you spent a lot of time thinkin about him

DAVE: filling in the gaps of his ridiculous exploits

DIRK: Right.

DIRK: There's certainly a lot of lore to work with.

DIRK: Urban legends and stuff.

DAVE: like what

DAVE: actually wait

DAVE: dont tell me

DAVE: at least not now maybe down the road it would be cool to hear some

DAVE: i think id prefer to fill in the blanks myself for a while

DAVE: really it sounds dope as hell to imagine that sort of blank canvas life

DAVE: dropped on earth as a kid in the 70s or 80s or whatever with no bossy adult to reel me in

DAVE: and just having to figure stuff out

DAVE: especially knowing that many years later it all worked out ok

DAVE: really wonder what i did

DAVE: was i like some homeless eighties ragamuffin???

DAVE: jesus christ that sounds fairly adorable if so

DAVE: maybe i slept in an alley on a bed of rubix cubes and alf merchandise

DAVE: or maybe i offered my old school rap services for food

DIRK: Like, through a shitty cardboard booth?

DIRK: You know, like the one from the fuckin' Charlie Brown comics.

DIRK: "This is what the refrance," FYI.

DAVE: yes exactly

DAVE: this sounds like exactly the life for me

DAVE: what if without a penny to my name and the wind at my back i hopped a boxcar to the big apple

DAVE: because as a dumb child i naively believed thats where they made all the apple juice

DAVE: id be sorely disappointed when i got there but it wouldnt matter because id probably scrape together a living on off off off broadway like...

DAVE: making shitty cartoons

DAVE: on stage

DAVE: and saying

DAVE: you guys

DAVE: this will be SO much funnier once the internet happens TRUST ME

DAVE: then the aristocratic patrons of fine theater just shrug and dump their shillings into my orphan hat

DIRK: It sounds to me like you've been reading up on the urban legends already.

DAVE: hahaha

DAVE: i wonder if he had like

DAVE: friends

DIRK: It sounds like he knew a lot of people, at least later in life.

DAVE: sure

DAVE: i mean im sure he knew rose at some point because obviously they teamed up

DAVE: but as fairly old people?

DAVE: it sounds as though they only knew each other as a result of their notability

DIRK: This seems likely.

DAVE: i mean more like the friends i grew up with

DAVE: he couldnt have grown up with john or jade as friends because they were already old by the time he got there

DAVE: this cool 80s kid fantasy was probably just a lot lonelier than ive been picturing in my sweet daydreams

DAVE: i didnt even have the MAYOR god what a nightmare now that i think about it

DAVE: i wonder if all he cared about was making ludicrous shit and fighting evil pastry moguls

DAVE: do you know if he had any other interests

DIRK: Like what?

DAVE: i dont know

DAVE: did you ever read any urban legends about.....

DAVE: paleontology

DIRK: Paleontology?

DAVE: yes the scientific study of dead shit

DIRK: Not that I recall.

DAVE: hmm

DAVE: i guess he probably didnt do anything with that

DAVE: what a shame

DAVE: maybe he never even got the idea since he had completely different experiences

DAVE: but if i were suddenly dropped back in the 20th century id probably look into it at some point

DAVE: i dunno how though

DAVE: i think it would be mainly like

DAVE: some sort of theraputic interest

DAVE: something relaxing to think about instead of a bunch of ironic and stupidly ambitious objectives

DIRK: Yeah, like the porn bots.

DAVE: yeah exactly

DIRK: Maybe some day, when we're both old men, you can live a quiet life tending to your fossils, and I will do the same with my dear collection of simple-minded chat robots fixated on puppet ass.

DAVE: sounds like the fucking life to me

DIRK: What was the lightning round question this stemmed from again?

DIRK: I forget.

DAVE: dunno

DAVE: maybe were tapering off with the lightning round stuff anyway and its just naturally deteriorating into regular dudechat

DIRK: Maybe.

DIRK: You sure you don't have anything else before we say it's officially deteriorated?

DAVE: k heres a curveball

DAVE: what the fuck are you wearing

DIRK: My prince gear.

DIRK: You know. Leggings, slippers, the poofy asshole pants, a hood with some sort of cloth tiara deal embedded in it.

DIRK: Basic stuff for princes, apparently.

DAVE: huh

DAVE: gotta say

DAVE: some of these god tier ensembles really are...

DAVE: something

DIRK: I thought I hated it at first.

DIRK: But over the couple hours I spent flying back, with time to think about all sorts of stuff...

DIRK: It kinda grew on me.

DIRK: The asshole pants are pretty damn comfortable, so I dunno if I even care how stupid they look.

DIRK: And I *am* kind of an asshole, after all. So who am I to complain.

DAVE: i thought the same thing about my cape outfit at first

DAVE: felt like some bozo from the renaissance festival

DAVE: like maybe i should get on a horse and sing a shitty ballad

DAVE: but then it grew on me pretty quickly

DAVE: hardly ever took it off in three years

DAVE: youre right its comfortable and theyre fuckin magic pajamas or whatever and they start to feel like part of who you are after long enough

DAVE: i mean they are supposed to last you forever right

DAVE: kinda by definition since they come along with immortality

DAVE: maybe part of their magical nature includes this insidious quality where they grow on you

DAVE: or not i dunno maybe this is bullshit and ill just wear some normal person clothes when this is all over

DAVE: what about you are you gonna wear god duds forever

DIRK: Nah. I'm sure I'll wear regular stuff again at some point.

DIRK: If a shirt with a hat on it can be deemed regular.

DAVE: im cool with deeming it as such

DAVE: yeah maybe youre right and we should all stop dressing like tools from an infinite magic slumber party for floundering teens

DAVE: and just look like standard floundering teens

DAVE: some of the getups are pretty out there

DAVE: jakes tho...

DAVE: uh

DAVE: damn??

DIRK: I...

DIRK: Yeah.

DIRK: That page costume.

DIRK: I'd have commented on it, except that would've been casting a stone through a particularly fragile glass wardrobe.

DIRK: So... I just flew away.

DAVE: yeah there was uh

DAVE: some palpable awkwardness there

DIRK: Hm.

DAVE: sorry im still

DAVE: tryin to

DAVE: like

DAVE: wrap my head around

DAVE: ...

DIRK: What?

DAVE: uh

DAVE: dammit

DAVE: ok i guess i might have to break one of our lightning round rules

DAVE: only a little tho

DAVE: i hope

DIRK: About what?

DIRK: The personal stuff?

DAVE: yeah

DIRK: That's fine.

DAVE: ok maybe im not even asking you anything

DAVE: maybe this is just a starting point to ramble to myself

DAVE: on a certain topic

DAVE: i think...

DAVE: there is a SLIGHT chance...

DAVE: i may be the biggest idiot in the world

DIRK: ?

DAVE: when it comes to understanding some things about my bro

DAVE: some pieces i never really put together

DAVE: about him

DAVE: until maybe literally right now

DAVE: which i think makes me an objective dumbass

DIRK: What does this have to do with me and Jake?

DAVE: idk

DAVE: nothin

DAVE: maybe i dont wanna ask you anything about jake

DAVE: maybe ill just keep abiding by the code of basic dude manners on that

DAVE: if i bother skirtin the line of this rule maybe id rather ask you other stuff instead

DIRK: Like what?

DAVE: like

DAVE: um

DAVE: say one of your best friends is a knucklehead you havent seen in three years

DAVE: and unless you use ultra direct and explicit language he just wont put two and two together himself

DAVE: and also say ANOTHER best friend is a girl you feel like you had kind of a special relationship with but you ALSO hadnt seen in three years

DAVE: and shes asleep

DAVE: but at some point shell wake up and youll have to talk to her

DIRK: ...

DAVE: this is dumb im not making any sense

DAVE: lemme start over

DAVE: ok lets say

DAVE: way back whenever

DAVE: howww

DAVE: ...

DAVE: how did you tell your friends

#homestuck #dave strider #dirk strider #homestuck act 6 #page 7917 #page 7918 #page 7919 #page 7920 #page 7921 #page 7922 #homestuck act 6 act 6 #homestuck act 6 act 6 intermission 5

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dykesbites · 1 year

Note

top 5 birds

this is in no particular order btw i could never decide on one bird to rule them all. also theres so so many birds this is just the tip of the iceberg. id in alt text!

crowned eagle

they look like little ears to me and they move up and down! these guys are really noisy and also have some crazy flight displays they use to attract mates, which involve super long dives before shooting back up. very interesting little guys (theyre actually very very large)! though these behaviors make them seem confident, crowned eagles are actually very nervous and alert. they aren't afraid of humans at all though. they have been known to attack small children as prey. most attacks, however, are not meant to seriously injure or kill their opponent.

2. ayam cemani

just look at this beautiful shiny plumage...these chickens are native to indonesia and they are completely black (the cemani part of their name means black to the bone)! they have black feathers, wattles, beaks, and internal organs. their eggs are NOT black but cream colored!

3. greater blue eared starling

you really can't go wrong with any starling to be honest all of them are so beautiful (honorable mention goes to hildebrandt's starling, which is orange and shades of green/blue which is one of my favorite color combinations)! just look at the plumage man need i say more. its hard to tell in this picture bc i wanted to show off the feathers, but they also have striking golden eyes. these guys are friends with livestock animals and like to eat insects off their backs.

4. secretarybird

these guys have a funny name but they also have a really striking silhouette. they have crane-like legs and look at how long those crest feathers are (not to mention this ones fabulous eyelashes)! juvenile secretarybirds have yellow markings around the eyes, and adults have orange markings as you can see here. secretarybirds are birds of prey, but unlike most other birds of prey, they primarily hunt on foot. these birds are found in sub-saharan africa and are quite popular there because they get rid of pests. theyre even featured on South Africa's coat of arms and the emblem of Sudan!

5. luzon bleeding-heart

the luzon bleeding-heart is part of the pigeon family (fun fact doves and pigeons are basically the same and theres no distinct classification difference). there are a few other bleeding-heart birds, but the luzon is the most well-known. all of the bleeding-heart birds have that iconic red mark in the center. they are endemic to the philippines, and their name in tagalog is punay. their status is currently "near threatened" which makes them the least endangered of the bleeding-hearts. the sulu, negros, and mindoro bleeding-hearts are currently critically endangered :(

#mail 💌#birds #ty for the ask heehee #child death tw #<- for the crowned eagle part

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i-sveikata · 1 year

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Gabbyyyy, you really wasn't joking about them arguing almost whole chapter 🤣 When I thought, oh its ending.. nope. They still going 😂 But honestly it was very needed. They weren't this honest for a while, especially Pete. Baby is learning not run away (that much ._.) His emotions, thoughts, ah, masterpiece.

I honestly was so drained after finishing, cause I could feel this tension, seriousness of the situation and the topics. And it says a lot about good writing! Completely emersed in the moment which felt like hours 😅 (Literally it took me hours to read all of that). But don't get me wrong, I loved all of it! Like someone wrote in the comments, did you felt tired while writing? Cause all of their emotions changing, Pete overthinking, Vagas' love bombing - it was a LOT.

Seriously, Pete had so many realizations, I wouldn't be surprised if he goes to sleep with headache 😅 Adding to this Korn's "death". Or is he really dead? Maybe that's something you would like to change in your story and I wouldn't mind 😂

Considering how close we are to the end of events in the drama.. I wonder if you plan to change anything from the main story? And how about post canon? How much after it?

In the series Gun was very on for the coup because I think he believed that Korn was dead. In this case he really doesn't buy it, which is fair.

I know that it's hard not to spoil too much but maybe something ...? Like if they have at least a few days or weeks? It's hard for their development when so much is going on with the family. Time is ticking and I really don't want this fic to end with just small post credits scene 😭

So the real question is if you planned to change any major events or not? Don't need to know which yet 😅

Another thing is how I love Pete and Porsche relationship. They both need each other which I found really lacking in the series. I love how you acknowledged that Porsche relationship with Kinn wasn't so pure like many often overlook. No romanticizing rape 🙏 But still creating a story and very real characters.

I think Porsche and Vegas are right. Pete should do what his heart says. (Not only because I want him pursuing Vegas 😅). It's surprised me how healthy Vegas seems to be acting, considering him being himself. I do believe that they would make a great power couple! Vegas sees this as much as we do 😁

Really, I have so much good to say about this chapter. It was intense but worth it. So, so worth it.

Thank you again for this! I will write to you again when more thoughts come 😊

And now I go sleep 😅 Time difference is really fun when you try to be online when your favourite creators are 😅

Love you 🖤

hello hello!!! omg HAHAHAHA I REALLY WASNT like me too i was literally like okay lets wrap this up now but NOPE they clearly had way too much to say now that they floodgates had been opened and these kind of things were finally being said.

they really needed it. pete definitely need it!! omg i totally understand its such an emotionally draining moment that literally feels like it goes on forever when like it reality it would have been like ten minutes or something?!?! god i hate them hahahahhaha

no i totally was the same afterward like i was not expecting it to come out to the degree that it did, felt like it took forever for me to write and it was super heavy as a scene because they were basically running around in circles the whole time trying to figure out how they can trust each other, still trying to find a way that this could work for the both of them. its an impossible situation!!! of course it wouldnt be an easy solution. but damn at least theyre really talking.

oh yeah pete really did have a bit of reckoning this chapter, finally facing most of the things he's been ignoring or not fully understanding about himself.

oh no we are not near the end yet im going to go well past the end credits scene!!! no wasnt planning to leave it at that, they need more time to work their shit out lol. yeah theres a few things im going to tweak in the canon, but nothing too huge i think? or i guess it depends on your opinion i guess time will tell!

yeah me too they could have been a great friendship but it was so half assed in the show- we could have had so much more from them. oh of course!! that was shady as hell there was no way i was going to gloss over that not after the way we've gone into the horror of what happened to pete. honestly wouldnt have made sense NOT to include that part too. porsche and kinn honestly had an equally dubious start.

omg lol funny you say that but we're going to be seeing a bit of a backslide on vegas' part for that. its more like he can do this right, can make sure they try and communicate properly because it matters to him that this relationship will work out. that they'll last. were going to see a new side to him because of his injuries, because they put him in a very vulnerable place (one that he's been in many times before) and it brings out his 'survival mode' kind of instincts. we can definitely expect some interesting behaviour from vegas in the future.

thank you so much for your lovely comment!! and for trying to be online when i am lol that seems like fighting a losing battle when you're australian- we're like the nightbloggers for everyone else because of the time difference hahha have a nice sleep!

#fic asks #ill fill the graveyards until i have you

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snaileo · 9 months

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gonna write this post to reflect upon things before the year ends - it will be long

i dont know how to start this - or how to even express my thoughts. but this year was hard - very hard and i wish i could remember what i was doing last year. last new years eve, but i cant remember. i wish i could tell my past self, that in a few days time, you would learn that your mom's cancer came back and then 8 months after that, on the dot, she'd pass away. obviously i cant. this last month has been especially hard, not that i was excited for christmas anyway, but it was my first one without her. one thing id do every year is check everyday for xmas music to come on the radio, which i did excitedly??? this year, and on nov 10th, it started and my excitement was cut abruptly when i realized i was alone in the apartment, without her to exclaim it too. it hit me all over again. its so hard to go into her room even though i have too bc the washer and dryer are in that particular closet, and it still feels like shes there. its eerie. its hard for me to associate this absence of her with being gone because this is just what her room looked like when she kept having week long hospital stays every month since may - so it was no different right? but i gotta keep telling myself that it is, that shes not coming home. Well she *is* home but not how I knew her.

both my dad and i felt this time was different, long before the complications began. i remember having that conversation with him, anxiety gripping every part of my being, something just felt different about all this - and it wasnt until months later that our fears would be confirmed. one of the things i struggle with most is guilt. feeling like i couldve done more, that i shouldve done more, that i was her caretaker and she died - i feel like i let her down, i feel like maybe if i had done this or that, it would be different, that she would still be here. i try to tell myself i did all i could but its difficult. i simply feel like i failed. i failed her. she deserved better than what she got -

she had seemed so invincible to me, with all that she had survived in her life, the way she carried herself with each thing she overcame - but in that final week, the one she spent in the ICU till she passed - i saw her slowly break down, her body slowly give in - i was really hoping she would Bounce Back, like she always did, so many close calls in her life, but she always came back - i was anticipating the next week when she would be out of the ICU, back at the apartment, talking about how she survived yet again -- but that didnt happen.

i completely broke after her passing, and had a solid month of feeling, disassociated from myself - deep within an existential crisis and grief - really truly grappling with what death is - and it took a while to realign myself. im still not okay - but im better than i was then. im still very lonely. the amount i spoke to my mom, daily, was something i never even realized until after she passed. i cant talk to my dad the way i talked to her - she had a near photographic memory and could recount stories and tell them in such an engaging way that i hate that i do not have a single fucking recording of her telling any story. that i no longer will hear her recount her life to me, tell me as if it happened yesterday.

im finding new things everyday that i didnt even realize i'll miss.

she believed in an afterlife, in spirits and heaven, and i hope, for the sake of the terrible hand she was dealt, that there is an afterlife, that she gets the happiness and peace she deserved. i found a lot of comfort in reading people's stories about seeing deceased loved ones in dreams, ones that feel like a visit, whether or not theyre truly a visit or just what the heart needed - it was comforting. one thing i didnt foresee was how painful the dreams she appears in would be. how painful to see her or hear her, or just knowing shes there - and then i wake up. reality hits. one odd thing to note is the first time i had dreamt about her after her passing, i wasnt allowed to look at her, i knew she was there, somewhat in my peripheral but there was a voice telling me "do not look at her, dont look at her" it was a strange feeling, it was so vivid. most of my dreams now that consist of her are typical dreams, tho a portion of them have me baffled that shes even there and i try to ask her How??? i thought you were dead, and she would come up with some excuse or some way how she survived. its a strange feeling. dreams are strange.

realizing this is getting too long. if you stuck with reading this whole post thank you i guess. this was meant for me to vent and reflect. especially since my mom was born in the year of the dragon, and 2024 will be the year of the dragon.i dont know how to end this post.

#this is a personal vent and reflection #it got really long so dont worry abt reading it or whtever #this was mostly for me

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ohtobearandomftblog · 2 years

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been thinking about this but how do you think rogue would confess to the person he has a crush on? i feel like he would probably get awkward and beat around the bush but also be such a soft! boy (confusing shit tbh)

oh hes absolutely gonna be awkward but to the point where he wouldnt say anything. it goes for all the slayers, really. awkward to the point of silence.

like what are they gonna say that wouldnt be creepy to a regular person??? 'the scent of your body wash clashes with your shampoo so much it made me spend most of my time with you smelling the air but i never hugged you to check' 'the little bit of sauce in the corner of your lips that one day tasted like the exact same one i like and no we didnt kiss' 'that jacket you wore once on a rainy day two months ago felt really nice and i bought one for me so we can match and be comfy together and im sad you havent worn it since no we didnt hug we didnt even talk that day' 'the way your heart beats louder and quicker when you talk about something you love and how it slows yet thrums when you talk about something you hate and how it calms yet stays strong when youre comfortable was incredibly helpful in remembering what you love and hate and no i dont remember you telling me about this specific fact because i was too busy hearing your heart soar please tell it to me again for the eighth time'

like he likes how your face shines in the moonlight bleeding past the window curtain when you sleep. he likes how your teeth crunch through apples or pears or chips/crisps or bone. he likes how soft some parts of your skin are compared to the scratchy and more calloused parts. he likes how your voice bounces around the guildhall of whatever guild youre in, and how your laughter seems to fill the space to a nearly uncomfortable degree. he likes the color of your earrings or necklace or bracelets or rings or bags or eyes or hair or nails. he never looks for these near you, for he probably wont be able to see or feel or hear or smell or taste anything of you. but the shadows speak of wonders he can only truly imagine, and he loves it.

they would never tell a mage/non-mage about the crush because theyd look all confused and weirded out because you dont just taste sauce on the corner of someones lips without kissing them what the fuck are you on about??? only once they have an s/o that doesnt mind their more nonhuman ways of liking someone will they talk to about it. they will of course tell each other and gush and praise and be embarrassing and a bit annoying and since theyre all fucking dorks they would Absolutely tell someone's crush about the crush. in front of the slayer.

like assuming rogue's crush was a sabertooth member or from a guild nearby then after like three months of dealing with rogue's shenanigans hed drag him to his crush, sit them both down, crouch in front of the crush, say rogue liked them as way more than a friend have you seen the fuckign hatchling eyes he makes at you every single time you look in his direction or even turn away like his eyes Suck and yet he knows where you are at all times thats some fuckin dedication, then just walk away so he can still hear whats being said which yknow isnt that far and rogue's so embarrassed bc not only was he just Outed but sting doesnt even have the decency to leave entirely they can still clearly see him you PRICK

if his crush was on a fairy tail member or a guild close by then wendy would try to keep everyone in check so they wouldnt completely out him to anyone related to his crush but. the boys can be smart sometimes. so laxus natsu and gajeel would leave """"subtle"""" hints to the crush ('oh you want to go shopping? i heard rogue knows a good store for that why dont you go ask him im not good with that kinda thing' 'oh you want some food? rogue knows a good place im not good with food' 'hey have you spoken to rogue recently he misses talkin to you keeps harpin on about how your voice soothes him better than rain'). until laxus or erik get sick of his shit, sit him and the crush down, and walk away until rogue can only know theyre there without seeing them but knows for a fact theyre glaring at him waiting for him to stumble through a confession or risk Big Brother Confrontation

if rogue was made to confess like that hed really be stumbling. hed slip somewhat into the shadows, realize nearly immediately because hes so focused on anything other than you in the moment, then try and yank himself out of them because hes so embarrassed and scared hed tried to fuse fully with them. hed think hed need evidence and reasons why he liked you and would say things that a normal person would like and slowly spill into the more slayer reasons without realizing it because gosh he cant help but praise your very being for simply existing. hed spend hours going on about you if he could but then he becomes hyperaware again because his shadows had started to creep up you physically and oh no hes just embarrassing himself again he doesnt even know if you like him and hes already ruining his chance and he spent all this time talking and didnt even let you get a word in maybe youre creeped out maybe youre angry maybe youre scared because how does he know all of this was he stalking you and no he swears he would never the shadows speak to him and he cannot be deaf to them for they are one but he himself would never and oh. oh. you were smiling. your mouth was full of shadows and the shadows are telling him youre smiling even though his eyes are full of tears. his shadow would linger on your body and seep through your clothes onto your skin and he would try not to be distracted by how it tells him about all the textures and dips and any curves it could have because now is not the time and he doesnt even know if your smile is pity or relief or something else, even.

if his crush reciprocates, then great! you get six slayers who will follow your every move and make sure you dont make rogue feel bad without reason and they Will glare daggers at you when nearby so rogue cant tell. if his crush denies,,,, well then you have six slayers ready to kick your fucking ass because hes so precious what the fuck do you mean??? give a good damn reason or save them from carrying you and just go to the infirmary yourself

#i would like it to be known my cat ran over my keyboard while typing this and put in himjk. n #even hes sick of his gushing #Rogue Cheney #Fairy Tail #Fairy Tail Headcanons #x rogue cheney #Dragon Slayers #ohtobe asks

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