#it really hurts because there’s a person who liked stuff I liked

[suiana]

yandere! best friend who's not really a yandere but actually kinda is if you get what I'm saying. like, like!!!!

he'll say all of thesebout of pocket really weird and REALLY specific stuff that involve loving you but then when it actually comes to doing it he just laughs and says it's all a joke.

"best friend can i eat your ass as we merge our souls to forever be destined as one?"

"is this a joke???"

"obviously 😂☝️ now tell me about jim from work."

this man wouldn't hurt a single person and you know it. bro literally volunteers at homeless shelters and does social work. he loves kids and goes into things with an open mind. he's mindful of his words and would NEVER utter some diabolical line because... why would he???

yet when it comes to you, it's like all stop signs have been brutally removed from the ground and eaten because why is he telling you in DETAIL about how much he wants to live in your walls and watch you sleep??? he's even telling you how you look cute when you're sleepwalking??? you didn't even know you sleep walked???

you can't tell if it's just a #homie thing or what but he gets kinda freaky too and apparently best friends get freaky with each other?? like you two could be in the most BORING situation but all of a sudden you'll feel his hand on your knee, slowly rubbing over where your skin would be. then he'd turn to you with the most bombastic expression, licking his lips before going on with what he was doing before getting his freak up.

"we could get all hot and bothered best friend... just you and me... no one else..."

"BRO we're watching the NEWS"

"so? you're looking extra fine today best friend... mind if i get a taste?"

is he okay?

genuinely?

probably not but he's just your best friend so everything is fine! it's not like he'll ever act on his words... like i said, he's too nice to do that. plus! we all have that one super freaky friend! that... super freaky friend who constantly jokes about... watching you sleep and wanting to merge souls... yeah, the stuff he totally hasn't already done...

"best friend what would you do if i admitted to hiding in your closet while you slept?"

"erm..."

"you look really cute when you sleep, you know."

okay, maybe bro is lowkey kind of fucked up. so what? he's just the weird to your normal. it's fine. he beings drama to your life haha!

and as long as he doesn't commut any one of those heinous acts he constantly yaps and fantasizes about...

[idkshithead]

⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ 𓊆ྀི gi-hun headcanons! 𓊇ྀི

·˚ ༘ — pairing: seong gi-hun x fem!reader

—❕warnings: nsfw content, mentions of trauma and insomnia (slightly), gi-hun being a cutie pookie patootie that i actually giggled and kicked my feet while writing this. i love him sm

｡𖦹°‧ sfw!:

season 1

— 𐙚 your relationship with gi-hun is a “pretty gf, obsessed bf” typa thing. he’d do anything for you. literally. you have cramps during your period? no problem cause he’s already out buying your favorite sweets. you don’t feel good about yourself all of a sudden? no worries cause he’ll sit you on his lap reminding you of how beautiful you are, of how much he loves you (and of how much you turn him on).

— 𐙚 s1 gi-hun is def the jealous type. mostly because he knows he’s not the perfect man to date due to all his family and financial problems so every time he sees a guy approaching you, maybe even good-looking, he’ll definitely pout: either he comes closer and grasps your waist tightly to show him you’re his, or he’ll just be silent and pretend to mind his business even tho he’s hurting inside cause he’s afraid you’ll replace him.

— 𐙚 later you’ll eventually tease him and tell him about how cute it is when he acts all jealous even when he tries to deny it. loves when you ruffle his hair/pinch his cheeks/cover his face in kisses to reassure him.

— 𐙚 s1 gi-hun is the type of man who really wants to spoil you with expensive gifts to make you happy but knows he can’t because of his lack of money. tries to make it up to you with simple dates (pic-nics, late night walks/drives, cuddle sessions etc.) even tho you tell him you don’t care about gifts and that you like simple actions. he’ll keep that in mind and will eventually start giving you picked-up flowers or short handwritten letters.

— 𐙚 s1 gi-hun’s life felt so much brighter when he met you and he couldn’t tell why. your presence just made him feel warm in his chest and he would remind you every. single. day.

— 𐙚 would definitely hug you from behind while you cook and start kissing your neck. later he would pick you up and sit you on the kitchen counter and start making out/cuddle with you while he whispers how much you mean to him etc. will make you promise to never leave him.

— 𐙚 one thing you ABSOLUTELY love about gi-hun, is his hair. it’s so fluffy and soft that you wanna touch it every minute of the day. in rough days he loves to lay on your thighs while you caress his scalp, play with strands of his hair to relax him until he’ll eventually fall asleep.

— 𐙚 s1 gi-hun would let you meet his daughter almost immediately cause when he met you first, he knew you would be the one. when he sees you get along really well with her he would smile like an idiot cause he loves to see the 2 most important girls of his life talking/having fun together.

season 2

— 𐙚 hate to say this, but s2 gi-hun is a whole different person. he’s not the smiley guy he once was and stay sure that he WILL be over protective, over possessive, over everything. can you blame him tho? he got traumatized so no, you can’t. he’s just afraid you’ll get in trouble as well.

— 𐙚 s2 gi-hun will definitely check on you every. damn. minute. he can’t find you? he’ll spam call you till you answer. you don’t answer his calls cause you’re out and can’t hear your phone? h’ell put on the gps in his car and come find you.

— 𐙚 at first you argued with him many times cause it became overwhelming. you basically couldn’t even go out with your old friend cause he’ll call you every 30 minutes and stuff. you didn’t want to get mad at him cause it wasn’t his fault, he just went through a lot and was worried for you.

— 𐙚 when you got mad, tho, you felt guilty not even a second later cause he looked at you with a sad and hurt expression and said: “i’m sorry. i just over worry and can’t stay calm when you’re out alone.”

— 𐙚 you’d tell him you understand but still you’re an independent woman and can defend yourself. (you’re lying cause deep down you like it when he worries a lot about you. but not in an obsessive/unhealthy way.). you will definitely cuddle him after that.

— 𐙚 s2 gi-hun never sleeps at night cause he feels the need to look after you while you sleep. he still feels like he’s in that room, keeping watch of bastards that could attack and kill you. if he manages to fall asleep, he’ll wake up in the middle of the night due to the nightmares. in those nights, you are the one who doesn’t sleep to look after him.

— 𐙚 he still loves to hug you from behind while you do stuff but also loves when you are the one to do so. he’s not as talkative as before so while old gi-hun would whisper loving sentences to you, present gi-hun just wants to feel the moment. he would bury his face into your neck and stay silent as you caress his hair and kiss it while he rubs your back and holds you tight.

— 𐙚 s2 gi-hun likes slow mornings. while in s1 he would go out to gamble/work and you would work too, now he likes to take his time to wake up to cuddle you, kiss you. just wants to enjoy his time with you, especially in weekends.

— 𐙚 s2 gi-hun would still take you out to late night walks/drives to relieve stress from both of you. his old manners of showing you his love are still the same: simple actions/gifts, physical touch etc.

｡𖦹°‧ nsfw!:

season 1:

— 𓆩❤︎𓆪 the first time you two made love was quite embarrassing for him cause he hadn’t touched a woman in years after his ex wife(that is something that every gi-hun fan thinks lol😭). he was really scared to hurt you or make you uncomfortable but once you reassure him he will make sure he’ll be the best sex you’ve ever had.

— 𓆩❤︎𓆪 s1 gi-hun will definitely cum really fast the first times cause he just can’t control himself with you. he doesn’t even make it on purpose but that man is able to cum in his pants by you just grinding on his lap.

— 𓆩❤︎𓆪 s1 gi-hun is the type of man that really doesn’t care about sex. he’s not a really “horny-guy” cause he thinks sex is not that important in a relationship but since he met you he gets hard often times and can’t control it.

— 𓆩❤︎𓆪 s1 gi-hun would think he’s not that good in bed but god, the way you moan his name or just moan in pleasure makes his ego reach the stars. he thinks he’s not that big but doesn’t realize that even common size (14/15cm) actually is.

— 𓆩❤︎𓆪 s1 gi-hun def talks you through it. would tell you how much you turn him on, would tell you how good you feel around him and would tell you how good you are for him. loves to praise you during it.

— 𓆩❤︎𓆪 i feel like he LOVES blowjobs. they make him feel so damn horny and he doesn’t know why himself. probably is the way your pretty, innocent eyes look at him while your lips are wrapped around his length, pleasuring him.

— 𓆩❤︎𓆪 gi-hun is clearly noisy. be prepared to hear him moan even if you just move your ass while sitting on his lap.

— 𓆩❤︎𓆪 forget about degrading names/praises. will def not call you a “whore, slut, pathetic” etc, not even if you ask him. he’s just not that kind of man and it makes him uncomfortable

— 𓆩❤︎𓆪 once you’re done, even if he’s dead tired, he won’t get in bed before making sure you’re all cleaned and feeling as comfy as possible. you chuckle almost every time and tell him to just lay with you and that you’ll take a shower later.

— 𓆩❤︎𓆪 thinks he needs to be the big spoon cause he’s the “man of the relationship” but loves to be the small spoon as well. depends on who needs more cuddles after that. if he’s the big spoon, he’ll lay you on his chest, pull the blanket over your bodies and rub your skin, whisper loving words till you both fall asleep.

— 𓆩❤︎𓆪 if he’s the small spoon he’ll be the one to lay on your chest and shyly ask you to caress his head/play with his hair cause it relaxes him. you can’t help the cuteness so you just roughly grab his face and kiss him nonstop. you’ll apologize later and both end up chuckling. likes when you rub his bare back with the other hand as well. will fall asleep immediately cause your heartbeat helps him relax.

season 2:

— 𓆩❤︎𓆪 s2 gi-hun would prefer blowjobs even more since he can’t sleep and is really tired most of times. he loves when you help him relax with that and loves it even more when you’re the one to initiate first cause he feels shy to just ask you to make him cum. thinks it’s inappropriate.

— 𓆩❤︎𓆪 s2 gi-hun loves lazy and slow sex (unless he had a really bad day), prefers when you ride him cause it’s hotter to see your breast bouncing and stuff. will grasp your waist/hips gently and guide you through it while he praises you.

— 𓆩❤︎𓆪 he may not be as noisy as before but will never stop praising you. he realized he loves it even more when you are the one to praise him. sentences like: “fuck, you’re so good, gi-hun” or “you make me feel so good” make him cum immediately.

— 𓆩❤︎𓆪 will def ask you to do that again cause he LOVES to hear how good he makes you feel and how loved you feel even when your sex is not romantic and slow.

— 𓆩❤︎𓆪 if you’re not in the mood he’ll immediately pull away and apologize 5 times in a second cause he doesn’t wanna make you feel uncomfortable in any way. you smile and reassure him and then promise him to do it later (if you’re in the mood ofc).

— 𓆩❤︎𓆪 will feel guilty cause he feels like he’s forcing you but you remind him that if you didn’t want to, you wouldn’t cause yes you love him with your whole being, but will never do something you feel uncomfortable with. especially if it’s related to intimacy.

— 𓆩❤︎𓆪 most of the times it will start by you massaging his shoulders cause they’re so tense. then you would start kissing his neck, make out and it will lead to bed.

— 𓆩❤︎𓆪 will praise you with nicknames like: “such a good girl for me, hun.” or “you’re so tight, sweetheart.” if you call his name he would respond with: “yes m’am?” cause he’s such a gentleman and loves to respect his woman.

— 𓆩❤︎𓆪 s2 gi-hun also loves missionary cause he needs to look at your pretty face and all the cute and horny expressions you make when he makes you reach the stars. would definitely kiss your neck/jawline/cheeks while he praises you.

— 𓆩❤︎𓆪 s2 gi-hun enjoys every type of quickies. on the kitchen counter when you cook? definitely. in the shower? always. in the car after a long late night drive? sure, why not. in the dressing room when you go shopping? loves the risk.

— 𓆩❤︎𓆪 when you do quickies in public he’d cover your mouth with his big hand and loves the sight of it. the way you try to keep quiet, the way you close your eyes to focus on not being noisy, your flustered cheeks. it turns him on even more.

— 𓆩❤︎𓆪 s2 gi-hun thinks aftercare is the most important thing. probably like it even more than sex itself. he wants to be the big spoon always but when you manage to convince him to be the small one, he would act as if he could accidentally hurt you.

— 𓆩❤︎𓆪 you would play with his short hair and kiss his head while you tell him how good he made you feel cause he’ll ask you if you liked it. if you would tell him that something made you uncomfortable he probably won’t touch you in “that way” for weeks. to the point you’d ask him if he still loves you cause you think he got tired of you.

— 𓆩❤︎𓆪 will look at you with an expression that clearly says “are you okay?” and then immediately reassure you and apologize for being a jerk.

— 𓆩❤︎𓆪 i feel like gi-hun hates porn and wouldn’t watch them not even if he got paid. thinks they’re too unrealistic and stupid. plus, he has you so what’s the point in watching other naked women having sex? not his thing, really hates it.

— 𓆩❤︎𓆪 doesn’t feel the need to jerk off when you’re not around, he’ll just wait till you come back if he needs it. would do that only if he’s desperate af.

ੈ✩‧₊˚ — a/n: soo here are few of my headcanons for this little cutie pie. idk if some of these are similar to others or something but if so, i’m so sorry, i didn’t copy anyone nor i inspired by anyone, i made them in my head based on my hc/scenarios😭 anyway i hope you enjoy reading this🥹

[winterspellsfrozenkit]

Adding to this because while I like Idia is my fav and I relate to him a LOT, Trey can pretty uncomfortable for me because it's like looking in a mirror.

To be honest, seeing people blame and mock Trey for not knowing how to handle a very difficult situation that most adults do not know how to handle hurts. I am not going to discuss it in depth, but to give my perspective from my past, when you are in a situation where you watch someone you care about be hurt by people who should be taking care of them and you cannot get them out because you are a child? It's HARD. The guilt you feel in that situation is CRUSHING. I was a child and I did not know what to do. So I tried to be helpful. I tried to soothe. I tried to do what I could to make the moments they were away from their situation happy ones. I didn't have it blow up in my face like 10-year-old Trey did, but I was a teenager and more aware of what could set a situation off. Even so, I knew I was disliked and I still preserved because even though I couldn't do much, I would not abandon them. Because really, those are your only options if adults around you can't or won't act: Be stuck watching someone suffer and all you can do is stay and watch and try to help in these inadequate ways that won't fix it OR you leave.

Back to the dream... Ortho points out the dreams WARP what you really want. Trey has a strong sense of compassion and empathy and that's what was holding him back from stopping Riddle and telling him, "Hey, how you are going about this? It's wrong". He was trying to protect both sides. Trey's been collared by Riddle before and he's most popular in the dorm, given he was voted to be the Vice by majority. He could've led a rebellion, except he wanted not only his dorm members safe: he wanted keep Riddle safe too. Look how fast the rest of dorm turned on Riddle when Ace punched him. They had a MOB MENTALITY.

His desire to keep everyone safe and happy twisted into not stopping the dream Heartslabyul students from basically harming themselves by overeating. Trey's motivation is simple, he wants people safe and happy, but Malleus's dream magic goes for the surface level and short-term fulfilment of the dream. Trey likes to bake and it makes people happy, so in his dream, he bakes a lot and he doesn't tell anyone to stop or to eat better or anything because it would break the "happy" part of "everyone is safe and happy". Looking at Cater, the other person who was trying to keep Riddle contained, Cater wanted to have every day feel like his birthday, but instead his dream made him the Housewarden.

And when I say Trey can be a pretty uncomfy mirror? I: hate being in leadership roles, think I'm pretty unremarkable, like to bake for others, get super uncomfortable with compliments, often try to act as a voice of reason when people around me are upset, am conflict avoidant, get nervous about setting boundaries with people who I know can be volatile, take on stuff I shouldn't to try and help, my get into situations I'd rather avoid because I wanna make sure my loved ones are safe... So, yeah. Trey is a super uncomfortable mirror at times because I see my weaknesses that I am still trying to fix.

This Trey discourse is getting ridiculous.

Tell me you don’t understand the dream without telling you don’t understand the dream. Tell me you don’t like Trey or understand his character without telling me you don’t like Trey or understand his character. For starters, the reason most of the fandom disliked Trey early on- book one. He didn’t stand up to Riddle’s mother or stop Riddle from being a tyrant.

Argument one: he was a child. A ten year old child whose parents were being screamed at for five hours straight (something of which BOTH Idia and Leona are horrified by, and those two had some strict upbringings themselves) while listening to eight year old Riddle wailing and sobbing for his mother to stop. That shit is traumatizing. Have you ever been screamed at unjustly as a kid? It’s terrifying. It haunts you. That kind of memory latches on and never lets go. Not without help.

Argument two: Trey is 18. He is a big brother. Not a parent. He didn’t raise his little siblings either, as his parents have a seemingly good relationship with each other and their children. He hasn’t seen Riddle in years, and while excited to see Riddle at the entrance ceremony he was quickly rebuffed by the now cold and steely Riddle who grew up under his abusive mother’s rule. He and Cater then worked with Riddle to dethrone their horrible then-dorm leader, and Trey was then sacrificed to the position of vice dorm leader because the entire dorm took a vote. Still, he did his best as vice dorm leader- not wanting to lose his head or watch their dorm mates stumble accidentally onto the execution block.

Trey, at the start, wasn’t particularly close to Riddle because Riddle wouldn’t let him be, and as someone who was traumatized by what happened when he WAS A CHILD likely struggled to speak up against Riddle’s harsher rules, and that most likely muddled together with Trey’s wish for Riddle to be happy. Going against Riddle would lead to conflict, and Riddle is short tempered as is. Trey likely believed that standing up to Riddle would make things worse instead of better.

He learns quickly from Adeuce later in book one how wrong he was, but that’s beside the point. The best Trey could do in the position HE DID NOT WANT was to give advice to his dorm mates and attempt to be Riddle’s voice of reason, acting as the peacemaker and struggling to keep any situation from escalating.

Something of note here, that I find particularly fascinating, is that it’s been stated by several characters that Riddle’s reign, though tyrannical, was nowhere near as bad as the last dorm leader- who was chaos incarnate. That plays a part in why Trey and Cater both were so willing to go along with Riddle’s iron ruling, even though both knew he was going about being dorm leader the wrong way.

There was no controlling or manipulating of Riddle- despite what Leona and Idia, who have ZERO CONNECTION AND INTERACTION with Trey and Cater prior to this dream, believed. There was no stopping Riddle, either. The best they could do was appease him and keep him calm.

Now, onto his dream.

We learn that Trey and his family “laugh” about what happened with Mrs. Rosebitch. This isn’t an, “oh they weren’t affected by what happened” situation, it’s an, “oh they were so badly affected by what happened that they can’t even talk about it properly because it’s so fucked up that they just laugh instead”. That’s called a trauma response. That trauma is so deeply rooted in Trey because he’s never learned to process it, that it’s there in his dream instead of being omitted.

Trey is also dreaming of a world in which Riddle has no stressful responsibilities. They’re at school, but his mother can’t reach him there, and Chen’ya- a childhood friend of Trey’s who was THERE when the Clover family got screamed at by Mrs. Rosebitch- is dorm leader instead. Riddle is not held down by what happened, and is seemingly “freed” from his mother’s cruel hand. Heartslabyul has become a safe space.

One built by Trey and Chen’ya, something they had unknowingly tried to do as children for Riddle (as they were unaware of the abuse, but had been a shining light for sweet baby Riddle who lived in the suffocating darkness) but failed- and paid severely for it.

Now, onto Fandom problem number two: the Round Bois.

I’m seeing people call Trey a “feeder” and are behaving harshly towards him because of it. But that literally couldn’t be farther from what’s happening. For example, let us take a look at his conversation with Vil (I brought my freaking receipts; this boy is my FAV of Heartslabyul) during Vil’s lab coat vignette.

We know Trey likes to bake.

He bakes for the Heartslabyul parties, and often gives Adeuce pastries to bring to Ramshackle to share with Yuu. But we learn in his New Years vignette that he bakes as a form of stress relief, too, to work his thoughts out and/or distract himself. It is a comfort to him. A safe space. And he knows whatever makes he will likely bring a smile to someone’s face. He enjoys baking, and he enjoys seeing people enjoy his sweets.

If someone is stressed, he encourages them to eat sweets- or cake with lots fruits, though that’s specific in this vignette because he just made a strawberry cake and was trying to find someone to give it to because it was one cake too many, lol, and Vil happened to be stressed out from something Rook said.

Trey isn’t being a “feeder” here or in his dream. He saw someone stressed and went, “Hey, I have a solution, why not try it? One slice won’t hurt and it’ll make you feel better/put you in a better mood.”

Baking is Trey’s solution, and a reliable source of comfort. He likes seeing how happy people are from the things he bakes, and he knows eating sweets can make other people happy. That’s why he goes out of his way to find someone to give the extra cake he accidentally made to- because it’ll put that person in a good mood and the cake will have a “good home” to go to.

Trey’s dream was basically giving Riddle and their other dorm mates a life where they could be happy and enjoy themselves without fear. A safe space. He could bake to his heart’s content in this massive kitchen his dream Heartslabyul provided, and everyone around him are happy and overall stress-free.

The reason they’re all ROUND BOIS???

It’s not because Trey was a “feeder” and fed them to that point, it’s because the dream-versions of his friends lacked self control and there was no one to stop them from eating sweet after sweet after sweet. They just happily ate whatever it was Trey baked, because he baked a lot- not to “feed” them, but because baking is something he greatly enjoys doing.

[sorry-not-feeling-it-right-now]

Ask game here!!! ^^^ (I’m on IPad so it looks like this unfortunately 😭)

(Oh gosh three asks asking me about the same character (I’ll just put them together and answer it as a singular post!))

(Also this turned out way longer than I’ve expected so I’m gonna put a cut here!! To save scrolling time!!)

FAVORITE THING ABOUT THEM

Probably how open Smitten is with his emotions!!! He feels so so much with his whole heart and I really love how he’s not afraid to share them! He is a really honest and earnest character and I don’t really see him lying in any way (and if he does, he’d probably do a really terrible job at it because of how he wears his heart on his sleeve andnsjsm). I can’t help but feel that his earnestness is something worth admiring!

Oh! And of course of how gentle he can be! Despite his bravado he really knows how to lift someone up with his soft words. He can see how someone is hurting and would attempt to lift them up by reminding them that they are loved and is worth loving. I especially love him in Thorn because of this reason. He’s really just love personified (even if it’s towards his own deterrent (don’t do that Smitten))

Also also! I love the way he speaks! He’s so dramatic with his speech patterns that it gives me the giddiest feeling whenever I hear him speak. His princely flair got me alright… he’s so cute,,,.,,…

AND!!! How he subverts the expectations of how love is a purely good thing!!! Love can hurt really really bad as well as heal!! Both the giver and the receiver!!!! And how he is a representation of using fantasy as a coping mechanism!!! He has a lot!!! Of stuff!!!!

(Ik it said “favourite thing about them (singular)” but I can’t help but give him appreciation by yapping)

LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT THEM

(I do have some things to say about that despite you occupying 90% of my brain space Smitten </3 it’s out of love tho I promy…)

To mirror what I’ve said at the beginning, it’s of how self-sacrificing he is. My guy has zero self-preservation and self-love despite being the personification of love and emotion. He would literally die for the one he loves and like,,,, NO!!!! SMITTY!!!! SOME PEOPLE WOULD WANT YOU TO LIVE!!!! FOR THEM!!!! SOME PEOPLE WOULD TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOUR DEVOTION!!!!! DONT DO IT!!!! SHAKING YOU ON THE SHOULDERS /AFF

FAVORITE LINE

He has a lot of great lines tbh sbsnsjs

A lot of them are really good, but I just, can’t remember a lot of them, so I’ll just put down those that I actually remember

“My wrath will echo the depths of my bereavement.”

“If we just showed her the contents of our heart... She'd be happy here." ABSOLUTE CHILLS

“YOU SMARMY ASS”

"By cruelly turning on the Princess on her moment of vulnerability we made ourselves an enemy. But, by mastering our fear and insecurity and handing over our power, we've begun a journey to something so much deeper"

BROtp

Smitten and Skeptic! As well as Smitten and Stubborn!!

The Heart and The Head!! The Grey Brothers have a special place in my heart… They’re like the two people who’s really different from each other but enjoys each other’s company regardless of that difference. They balance each other out rather nicely despite them never meeting each other officially in game: like, Skeptic could teach Smitten to think before he act on his own emotions and be more sceptical of the intentions of other people, while Smitten could encourage Skeptic to feel with his heart! I see Skeptic as the type of person to have a hard time empathising with other people and would rely heavily on his logic to help solve the problem for them instead of simply listening to them (he cares, just doesn’t know how to do it in a way that’s unfamiliar to him/not his nature), so I think having Smitten be there to teach him how to do that would help him greatly. They would probably understand each other in the ending where TLQ kills Shifty’s heart and becomes a god himself, since Skeptic knows what’s it like to not have a grounding presence to catch him (for Smitten it’s the Princess). Him and Cheated would comfort Smitten during those times.

And here’s Beauty and Brawn! Aside from their shared appreciation for the Princess, they are also both really passionate characters who are extremely open with their emotions. Smitten would appreciate Stubborn’s showcase of passion towards the Princess, while Stubborn would see strength and potential in Smitten as an opponent! Stubborn would probably rather head straight ahead towards violence instead of using words like Smitten does, but he likes the guy so what the hell

Stubborn would try to get Smitten to fight him, but Smitten just, doesn’t fight him simply because being violent is really not in his nature (unless Stubborn intentionally gloats him into fighting him)

They would be the duo that hugs and cries together whenever there’s a touching scene playing in a movie

OTP

You already know,,..,,,, (it’s Burned Bridges)

Funnily enough the infamous Burned Grey lines aren’t the reason why I ship them in the first place

It’s the fact that I remembered a line Cold had said about Smitten would one day want the emotions to go away completely despite how strongly those emotions burn at the current moment , and then telling him to trust him on it.

It just. Reveals so much about Cold as a character.

Not only does it imply that Cold isn’t completely emotionless as he oh so often tells us that he is, and that he had felt strong emotions at one point but had chosen to repress them completely due to how much it had hurt him, but it also reveals that he doesn’t seem to hold the same animosity towards Smitten as the other way around (at least, not the level of hatred Smitten holds for him),as he actually gave him advice on the subject matter. He seems to be more amused by Smitten then anything. Burned Grey is a route where Smitten was denied of his purpose with us deciding to kill the Princess, and Cold’s whole thing is about his purpose being denied, and hence the numbing ache in his heart that he desperately wants to fill. So I feel like he would probably understand Smitten in that regard of having his purpose denied. He just, find Smitten’s anger really freaking amusing due to the fact that Smitten is usually really chipper. And also the fact that Anger is the rawest emotion there is.

They would definitely start on rough terms though. With Smitten actually fulfilling his promise on letting Cold feel what he had felt (via hurting Cold) and Cold just becoming more and more interested in how far Smitten would go in his pursuit of vengeance. How far would he go? How low would he stoop? He would love to know, and so he would gloat him more and more and see how he would react.

But knowing Smitten, he would probably get really tired of hurting Cold over and over again. He is. Just not a violent person at heart. His starring chapter two is literally one of the three routes that doesn’t have a chapter one that ends with violence(it technically does but you know what I mean(Damsel, Prisoner, Stranger)). Eventually it would reach a point where he would just tiredly tell Cold off without it ending with violence, and that would make Cold feel surprised about the change in his usual pattern of behaviour. I’d like to think that Cold would be the person to reach Smitten out to soothe him on his hollowness and aimlessness when Smitten would deny him over and over until he eventually lets Cold do his thing (heavily influenced by @pink-november ‘s fic btw) and Smitten coming to a realisation that Cold might not be as emotionless as he thought… and then the two deciding to start over on their relationship and become friends… and then learning that wait, they’re actually quite similar… and then they unknowingly fall for each other for real the more time they spend with each other…. oughhhhh slowburn Burned Bridges my beloved

“Who needs violence when you have love?”

“Who needs love when you’ve mastered yourself?”

Also also, fire and ice, pink and black, pillow and blanket, “hero” and “villain” (but not really), emotional doofus and stoic fella????? ENEMIES TO FRIENDS TO LOVERS SLOWBURN?????? That’s a lot of stuff!!!! (And the comedic whiplash of “GRRRR I HATE YOU!!!!” to them cuddling together is just. Really funny to me ok.)

Again, this ship can either go down an even more toxic route then it already is (yummy toxic yaoi) or it could become something really fluffy and tender. It really depends on what direction the writer wants the ship to go. I’m fine with either though. Both are really fun routes.

NOtp

I don’t really have a NOtp for him tbh,,..,,,,.

RANDOM HEADCANON

I’ve already said this in another post, but I’d like to imagine Smitten would abuse nicknames and name the voices with the positive qualities he sees in them. Also this is a headcanon for the Voices in general, but I’d like to think that he’d struggle acting away from his nature. Much like the Vessels, the Voice’s nature is all they knew. A part of him would always yearn for the presence of the Princess, since she was literally who he was made to love and dote upon. Even though he would feel genuinely happy that TLQ had found his one true love, a part of him would always feel that emptiness She had left behind, and his heart would ache more and more. Broken in Apotheosis had proven that the Voices can in fact grow their perspective and in turn become more complex, so I feel like Smitten would definitely have his own arc as well once the Voices learn to become their own person and not just a singular facet of TLQ (and especially Oppy and Cold but this ain’t about them).

Smitten would be really affectionate with his show of affection (depends on Voice to Voice though!!!! He wouldn’t want to make them feel uncomfortable). If you ask him which showcase of affection his likes most, he would tell you that he loves all shows of affection equally! Love is love and should be showed proud and loud across your heart! He’s the type of guy to casually give platonic smooches on the cheeks (again, depends on Voice to Voice—if the Voice is uncomfortable with smooches, he’d probably just do a handshake or something). He doesn’t really put a line in love. To him, love is just that—love. There is no need to put a line between platonic, familial and romantic love. As long as the parties are comfortable with how that love is expressed, there is no problem!

Also can we all agree he would write the corniest love songs ever?? Thanks (Cold would be amused by him and listens to Smitten perform despite his comment on the corniness of it all ahahahahah anyway)

UNPOPULAR OPINION

I can agree on Smitten not being a d!ck but saying Smitten is completely harmless and lacks any malicious intent is where I have to disagree. I dunno if this is an unpopular opinion though.

Him wanting to hurt someone in the name of love IS malicious intent despite the motivation. And he has proven that can AND will do what he had said that he would do with him literally killing us after we killed Damsel for seemingly no reason. He is love as much as he is emotional.

Also he seems to care more about how you AND the Princess feels more then his own opinions. He reads as a people pleaser to me. He genuinely just wants you and the Princess to be happy, but then that mixing with his own perception that he is supposed to be the knight in shining armour for the Princess makes for a weird complex.

SONG I ASSOCIATE WITH THEM

We Become We, but specifically that one part of the song with HEA Smitten. I do love me some angst.

(Again sorry about the format!!!!!)

Full song: https://youtu.be/hRllUeany_Q?si=AJHdP-dJUHdf-r30

That one part: https://youtu.be/mwnXg6GXCk8?si=G1hzN_EG93ulKAhN

FAVOURITE PICTURE OF THEM

Ohohohohoh I have a couple of those teehee

(I love it when I just draw him like a ball)

[oh-no-its-bird]

Full disclosure: I know fucking nothing about animal crossing. I've literally never touched it in my life. The extent of my knowledge is that there's that one cat character(?) who people are absolutely insane about and will charge real in person money to see. With that in mind:

obkk animal crossing shaped au where Obito moves to an island filled w human-animal people, run by its resident mayor, a funky wolf man named Kakashi

Obito living his best, small town life, surrounded by strange fluffy people ,,,

Actually having fun thinking ab just Obito being the only full human there, that's a fun mental image to me. He's actually totally weirded out by it but if he brings it up it goes something like,

"So uhh. Why do you have a tail?"

"Oh my god Obito you can't just ask someone why they have a tail"

Obito can no longer bring it up for fear of being animal people racist. Which is not a thing he knew existed, but.

The twist is that he could totally ask people and they'd probably answer juts fine but he made the mistake of asking Kakashi when Kurenai and Genma were around and all three of them were way too ready to fuck with him

Tanuki Genma,,,give it to me,,I wish to see him,,

Kakashi is a wolf man but actually that is a LIE and hes just a very big and fluffy dog guy who somehow got the reputation that he was actually a wolf and just kinda never disputed it, pass it on. He thinks its funny and will regularly make big bad wolf jokes n stuff but meanwhile hes like. A husky or smthn.

Obito realizes he's just a normal ass dog and gets weirdly butt hurt / disappointed about it. Turns out he is actually one of those half wolf dogs but now Obito is being stubborn and says he has "trust issues" and doesn't believe him anymore

Rin as Kakashi's mayoral assistant maybe? Then again, her working at the hospital is always fun tho.

Either or, I am trying to think of a good animal for her. Leaning towards smthn like a mongoose or a honey badger, small and cute looking but absolutely fucking insane and not to be approached under any circumstances because they can rip your fucking throat out

Gai is a bear, no further comments.

I really have no specific thoughts ab this other than it would be funny to me and I want to see normal human man Obito trying his best to live in a weird ass animal-people town.

I want mayor Kakashi to harass him daily and I want them to have a love hate relationship that largely involves them fucking with each other. I think it'd be neat.

[giggly-squiggily]

Heat Snatchers (Blue Lock)

*Disco dances in* Ayyy, guess who's hear with Bachisagi fluff?? This girl! *strikes a Jojo pose* This is for the ever incredible @intheticklecloset because you deserve it friend <3 I hope y'all like it!

Summary: It's cold in the Blue Lock facility- leading to Bachira seeking warmth from his favorite person.

Cloud 9 Taglist:

@myreygn @cupcake-spice13 @chibisstuff @imjusthere07 @riisada @ticklish-n-stuff

Even in a facility like Blue Lock, winter struck like a thief in the night.

Extra blankets were passed out, as were thicker socks and sweats. The heat was on high, but that only did so much. Some complained, others found solace in blanket burritos and hot soup.

Isagi though? He loved the cold. He loved the crisp chilly air, the sights and smells of upcoming snow. He loved the way he could go on a run and not feel too hot during. There was also hot chocolate!

He really, really loved hot chocolate.

With a belly full of the heavenly liquid, he sank into his nest of blankets, burrowing down further until he was properly swaddled. No one else was in the room at the moment, giving him ample time to nap if desired. He started to close his eyes…

The door opened and shut. The covers by his feet lifted briefly, and when he opened his eyes, he saw a large lump crawling towards him. Instead of feeling scared, he found himself trying not to laugh. “What’s this?”

The lump paused, shaking slightly with giggles before continuing its way up. When a warm body pressed over Isagi’s chest, the lip of his covers lifted, revealing Bachira’s smiling face. “Hello!”

“There you are, Bumblebee.” Isagi laughed as he leaned forward, kissing Bachira’s giggly lips. They felt cold- he must have been out on the field. “Your face is cold.”

“My whole body is cold!” The dribbler laughed, shoving his hands up Isagi’s shirt for emphasis and making him jerk with a scream. “Oo, you’re warm!”

“Bahahchira-Ah, don’t go in theheere!” Isagi giggled as he tried blocking him out, but Bachira was already beneath his sweatshirt, crawling up it until the tops of his hair tickled Isagi’s chin. “Yoohohu’re so cohohold!”

“I told you I was!” Bachira’s laugh was muffled as he got comfortable, nuzzling about and worsening the ticklish feeling. “And you're nice and toasty!” The hands at his sides suddenly started pinching, making Isagi jump out of his skin with a squeal. “Stop moving so much, I’m getting dizzy!”

“Stahhahap tihihihickling mehehehe thehehehehn! Gehahahahah, Bahahhachiraahahha!” The brunette cackled as he thrashed, mindful not to hurt his boyfriend as he twitched like a bug on its back. The blankets that once felt like a cozy hug now were his prison, preventing him from breaking free of Bachira’s tickly antics. Not that he was really trying to, anyway. “Cohohohome ohohohohon, it’s tohoohohohoo cohoohohld for thihihihihihis!”

“Are you saying you’re getting chilly, Isagi?  I should double my efforts to keep you warm!” He shifted, and Isagi had the sudden inkling..

“Nohohoh, nohoho dohohon’t-EHEHEHEHAK!” He shrieked at the raspberry blown against his belly, his vision blurring with mirthful tears as he shoved at the devious mound before him. “BAAHHACHIRAHAHAHHA!”

“Hehe, you’re so ticklish, Blue Skies~”

Isagi flailed hard when hands attacked his sides again, focusing on his lower ribs. The blankets went flying, soaring high into the air alongside the high pitched squeals for mercy he begged for. One wrong move and they’d both end up on the floor. “Bahhahahchira! Bahahahchira pleahahhahase! Pleahhahahahse mehehehhercy! Stahhahahap!”

Only then did the tickles come to an end. Still tucked in Isagi’s sweatshirt, Bachira laughed gleefully as he crawled out, hair a mess and eyes wet from how own giggle fits. “Yohohohu’re so adorable! You aahhalways act like the woohohrld’s ending when tihihickled!”

“Ha ha.” Isagi’s sarcastic laugh came out more genuine, especially after Bachira let out a wheeze. Reaching blindly, he gathered up the fallen blanket, cocooning himself back up and leaning into the pillows. “I’m hibernating. Come back after winter.”

“Oo, sounds fun! Mind if I join you?” Bachira crawled up again, wrapping his arms around the blanket tube and hugging it close. “We can fend off the cold better this way.”

The blankets mumbled something, and Bachira gently pulled back a fold. “What was that?”

“I said you’ll freeze out there.” Isagi gestured back enough to open the blankets, cheeks red for an entirely new reason. “Come on. You can share my cave.”

Bachira’s own face warmed up, too delighted for words. Giggling, he took the invite, snuggling close and pressing his face into the crook of Isagi’s neck. “This is far warmer. Thanks, Blue Skies.”

“Sure, sure.” Ever trying to be coy. Isagi pressed a soft kiss to his forehead before pulling Bachira tight, snuggling in as his desired nap returned.

Thanks for reading!

[pressplay-if]

I remember reading the demo before the update during the song Stevie wrote and went “damn girl who hurt yo-oh wait that songs probably about me” cuz I’m playing an Mc who has a crush on Stevie but doesn’t believe it’ll ever go anywhere cuz they’re from 2 different worlds.

Stevie is rich and in a supportive household while the MC is in a below average income household with a single mother who tries her best but is busy with work so they cant always be there for them.

Sidenote: I LOVE THIS DEMO mostly cuz of how well written and fleshed out it is. I love all the characters and the fact theyre all complex and you really go in depth to what the MC is thinking and the fact their problems aren’t just flavor text. You actually go in depth and explore mental health. Anyway looking forward to more updates!!!

Granted, Stevie writes that song regardless of the MC. I do like your interpretation though 😊 it definitely fits for that sort of Stevie/MC constellation.

I think Stevie's just as morbid as the MC sometimes, and she takes inspiration from a lot of different things. Her lyrics can be just as strange as stuff MC would write, even though she's generally a rather cheerful person (at least for now).

Stevie's folks aren't rich, by the way, just upper middle class. Enough to afford a big house and a bunch of luxuries. Though that might as well seem rich to a singlemom-background MC.

Thank you so much for the kind words, nonnie. I love when my readers address the mental health themes, because it's really what Press Play is about in large parts. I'd say it's the core topic, so making it flavor text would have gone poorly haha. I'm very glad I'm handling it effectively

[simprocklies]

Simprock lies.

I've been watching this situation and I can't just sit by and do nothing anymore. I'm still too afraid to out myself because the recent stuff is really scary and shows the kind of things these people will do to you if you disagree with them. This is seriously scary psychotic behavior and I can't not say anything anymore. These people need to be stopped. Please don't support them.

These people posted a 470 page document calling someone out and it's extremely alarming. This document is way too long and organized to have been something they made in response to someone asking for evidence, which happened only a few days ago. It really feels like something they've had for a long time and have been planning to do. It also includes a lot of information from private places that these people aren't in, which means that they've been planting spies for a long time and stalking their victim for a long time to get all of their "evidence".

The person Simprock is going after isn't the only person they've hurt. In October, they kicked myself and around 100 other people who they decided weren't good enough. They could've made a new server for themselves, but they didn't care how the rest of us felt and gave some dumb excuse about how they couldn't delete the server because of NDA reasons. What NDA? They have a rule about never inviting Pathea staff and there wasn't even a valid official NDA for Sandrock. I'm sharing someone else's screenshot about the thing they put out explaining why they did it because it was already shared and I don't want to out myself.

This caused a lot of people to leave the entire fandom and myself and a lot of others really distrusted communities after this.

I've seen firsthand these people's actions. The same person who posted that thing also joined a server that the person they and their friends are harassing just to spy on them and to find ways to twist up their words. They accidentally slipped up once.

Yesterday, this new guy on what looks to be a sock puppet account suddenly appears in the server like literally before the Simprock people posted their 470 page document and only participated by supporting the harassers and twisting the situation.

These people have been harassing Snowy on all kinds of places, here's something from an official Pathea mod saying so.

Here's these people telling others not to participate in a zine that Snowy is involved in.

You can see that one of the Simprock people, the one pretending to be innocent and asking to be left alone, liking this post.

These are things I thought of now, there's a lot more but I'm not like these psychos who plan long extended things. I'm also afraid of talking about my own experiences because I don't want them to come after me like they're doing with Snowy. Please don't fall for these people's lies.

They're continuing a harassment situation going and as far as I can see, Snowy only talks about it in private places and only because the Simprock people won't stop trying to chase them out of the fandom, but apparently this isn't enough and they won't stop until they've chased them out of the fandom.

I'm really scared about what these people would do to me and my friends. My friends told me not to say anything but I can't because I totally see this totally happening to me and others and these people need to be stopped. A while ago another artist attempted to unalive themself because of fandom harassment and it's very possible that a lot of the same people behind that are behind this too. Simprock people are psychotic and dangerous. Please be careful.

Please think about how they got the information they posted and that a lot of it is probably faked.

[genderqueerdykes]

Re: aroace tagging discourse

Speaking as an aroallo person, my (albeit limited) exposure to this discourse has been less "never tag reblogs with #aroace EVER!!!" and more "Every time I try to go through the aro (and even aroallo, for some reason) tag, a vast majority of the posts I see are more about aceness than aroness, and I'm tired of not being able to find posts that are relevant to my experiences."

Like, I don't care if an aroace person tags an original post or reblog with both tags, I'm just frustrated that I can't even find community with other aroallo people because the majority of aro people are also ace. Even the tags for aroallo people specifically is somehow full posts that are about asexuality and are therefore not something I can relate to. The aroace and alloace communities are huge, and that's great! I'm happy for them! But, just once, I would like to find a community of people who are like me without feeling excluded for being one of the only people who is aro but not ace (not that aces don't accept aroallo people, they do, but it's obviously hard to be in a space where most people don't want to discuss sexual or horny topics while being someone who ONLY experiences sexual attraction.) We're the fringe group of an already fringe group, and it's sad. There's not much out there that's designed with us specifically in mind. :(

hello there! thanks for taking the time to send an ask

unfortunately, i'm still gonna have to ask people to correct this behavior because it IS hurting other people for the sake of being self-centered and petty. i'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but the "aromantic" and "asexual" tags are for all asexuals and aromantics. as you stated, if you want stuff for just aroallo people, there are tags for that. i know there's not much content, but that doesn't mean that someone gets the right to make aroace people feel uncomfortable and like they can't even go into the two tags that their identity is comprised of.

if there's a lack of content in aroallo spaces, that is your sign to fill in that gap. making aroace people feel like shit for interacting with posts literally made for aromantic and asexual people is not the way to go to get more alloaro content and people to interact with. think about the inverse: would an aroace person getting mad at alloaro people and saying that it's wrong to reblog a post that's just tagged "aromantic"? what if the OP isn't alloaro? would that give them an excuse to harass alloaros?

unfortunately, friend, the behavior still sucks ass and it's not okay. again, if you want content made specifically for alloaro people, that tag is quite literally right there. if you're not seeing what you want to see, that is your calling to do it yourself. i know it might suck to hear that, but this really doesn't give anyone an excuse to make aroace people feel like shit for using the aromantic and asexual tags. they're STILL aromantic. they're STILL ace. and they're not getting upset at you that they can't relate to you. this behavior is really unfair. try to reframe your line of thinking.

the aromantic community is not owned by alloaros. it's for ALL Aromantics.

the asexual community is not owned by alloaces. it's for ALL asexuals.

i hope this makes sense. try not to take other peoples' identities seriously. i know how much it sucks to feel left out, but this is your sign to build a stronger alloaro community. if you want to see it, you have to put yourself out there and do it. complaining about a lack of content will not make some more magically appear out of thin air. i'm sorry if this is harsh, but this behavior hurts people. it cuts them deep. and it's not fair to assert that the aromantic tag is for people who aren't ace, and that the asexual tag is for people who aren't aromantic. it makes no sense and it's excluding people for the sake of being self-centered. please try to reframe your thinking. as rude as this may sound, you are not the protagonist of the aromantic community. i am not, either. none of us are

as an aromantic person on the asexual spectrum, it doesn't bother me in the slightest when i come across alloaros in aromantic spaces. i can't relate to them with regards to their sexuality, but we're both aromantic, and there is plenty of ground there. i have no right in telling them that they don't belong, they have no right in telling me i don't belong. this is a specific issue with specific aromantic people being acephobic, and specific ace people being arophobic. it's not an attack on you, it's being directed toward someone else, and it's not cool to think that they should deserve to feel isolated from their own community just because you don't relate. you can't relate to everyone in your community. diversity is key. we need general aromantic spaces to stay diverse. we need general asexual spaces to stay diverse.

[dusty-pistol]

Woo hoo Dr. Sawyer headcannon!!! Plus some other stuff and more under the cut =]

As it says in the photo + more. Also, keep in mind that some of these may seem harsh because he's literally an evil, terrible person in the game.

>>: 40-60 year old man.

>>: Wrinkly old fucker....

>>: Not thin, but not muscular either. Just extremely average figure.

>>: Grown out hair that he's too busy and focused on his work to cut.

>>: Grayin hair cuz he's old and from stress.

>>: Yellowin teeth that again he's too busy and focused on his work to brush.

>>: Tries to keep up with appearances to look good, but constantly forgets to take care of himself/his appearance cuz again, work focused.

>>: Since this is a headshot I didn't show it, but for his outfit it's just black dress shoes, black dress pants, black button-up shirt, red tie, white lab coat with chemical and blood stains on the forearms, and black surgical gloves. Full doctor fit since this guy is literally a neurosurgeon.

>>: Ruined fingertips but not because he bites his nails. He just peels the skin around them until it bleeds. But he doesn't really notice he's bleedin cuz he's got a high pain tolerance. He just kinda does it idly when he's bored and subconsciously fidgets. It would worry the people around him to see blood on his hands but.. well nobody really likes him enough to care AND this is Playtime.Co. I feel like it'd be sorta normal for the scientists to be a lil bloody.

>>: The WORST eyebags you've seen. Bro gets NO SLEEP. Will and does fall asleep at his desk and gets like really fuckin mad at himself for doin so. And then he's grumpy at everyone and everythin for the rest of the day.

>>: Addin onto that, the corners of his eyes are red cuz he rubs them constantly due to the lack of sleep. It would be concernin but again, nobody cares about him enough to ask him about it. (That, and if they did ask, he'd just tell them off.)

>>: Does NOT own up to his mistakes. He'll just blame them on someone else for their "incompetence" even though it's a completely baseless accusation.

>>: God complex, narcissistic, the whole package. Hurts people just for his own amusement. (Not sayin anyone who has these issues hurts people for laughs, btw!!! It's just him. Like, canonically, he has said he finds enjoyment outta others' pain.)

>>: Uses a large vocabulary with complex words to make others feel stupid.

>>: If he has children, he doesn't care about them. Nor would he particularly care about his wife if he has one. Personally, I think he's single because he thinks he's too good for anyone. But it's actually cuz nobody FUCKIN LIKES HIM.

>>: High maintenance bastard. You can't keep up with him? You're not useful in his eyes.

>>: The kinda guy to yell at or not tip waiters if they got his order wrong.

>>: Doesn't really have a soft spot for anythin. But he's more calm around the experiments (especially Yarnaby) cuz he knows he's protected. (Or at least, he thinks so.)

>>: Hates not knowin/understandin things. It makes him feel stupid and weak. So he immediately forces himself to get as much information on that thing as possible so he can be better than those around him and gloat that he knows more than them. But does it in a casual way so he doesn't seem like a tryhard.

>>: Absolutely despises the commercial jingles Playtime.Co made for the toys. He finds them obnoxious.

[marsmarvel02]

why do all of the friends I make online just… stop responding to my messages eventually?

is there something on my blog? Is it something about the way I talk? Why won’t anyone TELL ME instead of just ghosting me?

Edit: Good news about the latest friend, it was just a glitch with them not being notified. Doesn’t explain the others though.

[vaguely-concerned]

on the one hand I think inner demons could stand to have a bit more romanced rook specific content, but on the other hand the underlying in-built implication that 'yours is the one true voice of comfort and safety in my inner world' is a sentiment and intimacy so way beyond the romantic or the platonic or any secret third thing you could care to name that it makes me lose my entire poor little mind a bit. it's so big and fundamental — near-existential — that in that exact moment at least the distinctions kind of seem irrelevant.

all the people lucanis' mind conjures up along the way are relationships he has that are unavoidably mixed and fraught in some ways even when they're also full of love (they are fraught BECAUSE they're full of love) — the good in them inseparable from things that hurt him at the same time. (it's about: the basic disorganized attachment patterns this poor guy is dragging around with him. careful with those, they're dellamorte heirlooms. what you love also inevitably hurts you and you won't be allowed to have one without the other, you have to surrender parts of your soul to hold on to what little you have left: this is the story up until now.) and the idea that rook isn't that to him — that beneath the fear of wanting them when romanced (which is more its own separate thing because within this psychology, actively wanting something and not just clinging on for dear life to even a meager status quo lest you lose it is in itself dangerous bordering on catastrophic), this is a relationship where there isn't resentment, or guilt, or shame, or dread, or rage, or self-hate, or any of the other emotions that keep him paralyzed, unable to move this way or that. no debts, nothing owed of yourself and your soul's substance except what you can freely and safely and happily give. love and freedom don't coexist — but, I mean, you're almost starting to make me think........... unless...👀👀👀. the unconditional and undramatic 'you are here and I am here with you, you can be exactly how you are right now with me and it's safe for us both even though you're afraid it won't be, I'm not going anywhere' acceptance rook shows him here that he returns to them in the big romance scene, when it's rook who needs it. the way he's just. standing there in the center of it all, like a child desperately helplessly waiting to be found, hiding in the place he hopes you'll know to look first. (rook does know. it's one of the first things they say in there.)

in short the most important room in his little mind palace for the romance is the very first room — the one where rook isn't. where, in fact, rook cannot be, because they disprove the entire structure of the place with their existence and presence in his life. with everyone else he's putting words in their mouths about what they think of him, and rook is the one who actually gets to come in to speak their own words to him — and have him listen. ('he'll listen to you, he always listens to you', 'your voice is a comfort'.) of course rook isn't present anywhere else in there — at the risk of stating the obvious to a tedious degree, they aren't one of the locks, they're bringing the key. in the very finest 'the messenger and the message' sort of way.

[serpentface]

Hibrides and Brakul having the world’s saddest booze-fueled girl’s night, probably a few months before the start of the story.

Anyway here's an extensive rundown of their shared history.

Hibrides Uryashta was the eldest daughter of a chancellor of the imperial city-state of Erubinnos (his lordship Erub Uryashta). She was brought up with great privilege and security, but (like most daughters of noblemen) was destined to be used as a bargaining chip in a political marriage arrangement. She was taken from her friends and family and moved to the city of Wardin at the age of 16 to complete her pledged marriage with Janeys Haidamane, the failson of the trade magnate Haidamane family. Janeys spent about a week poorly attempting to behave like a husband, and then took the first excuse to flee and engage in a petty military campaign against raiders on the Yellowtail trade route. She found herself left alone in his villa for three years with only hired servants for company. She made a few attempts to break into the city's elite social scene, but was quite shy and failed to make any headway.

Brakul had just spent a year and a half in a bit of a whirlwind. He was brought into a skirmish at the behest of an allied clan, who had been raiding the Yellowtail route and now was under attack by combined forces of an enemy clan and Imperial Wardi mercenaries. He killed one of the mercenary commanders and was captured as a prisoner of war, but was spared at Janeys' behest (who fucking hated that guy thought it was awesome that he got killed with a rock) and was ultimately recruited into the group. He had a chance to go back home, but actively chose to deadbeat dad out on his wife and child to be with his newfound lovequest, Janeys. He spent a year and a half as a mercenary, bonded closely with Janeys and swore brotherhood with him, and was eventually brought home to the city of Wardin with him. He found himself in the odd position of being simultaneously scorned as a foreigner and 'heathen', and the legal kin of one of the richest families in the city (and effectively the secret male concubine of their only male heir).

It was in this context that the two of them met, with Hibrides now being 19 and Brakul turning 27.

The two were initially wary of each other (Hibrides was particularly put off by his 'heathen' status) but bonded very quickly, partly due to their mutual states of being unmoored from their old lives, but in large part being just a natural chemistry. They had a lot of common interests and enjoyed learning from each other. Hibrides introduced him to traditional verse poetry (of which she was very fond). Brakul taught her how to ride khait, and even gave her a gelding from his own collection as a gift. They became very close friends over the next couple of years and spent much of their free time together.

A big part of the dynamic was that both of them are gay in a cultural context where there is no concept of Being gay, marriages are usually arranged and always between a man and a woman, and having children is a societal expectation. Each of them began to see the other as an ideal husband/wife, ie "if I had to marry why couldn't it have been him/her?". For Hibrides' part, Brakul had all the traits she would want in a husband: he was a pretty good friend and easy to get along with, he seemed like he'd do an excellent job of fulfilling expected roles as a husband and father (she didn't know about the wife and kid for a while), he treated her as an equal, and, most of all, had no interest whatsoever in fucking her. They were both in a sort of platonic emotional affair, and grew to love each other deeply.

Hibrides was pretty quick to catch on that something was going on between Brakul and Janeys, and found it strange and offputting but ultimately none of her concern. Her husband only being interested in his sworn brother and leaving her to her own devices suited Hibrides just fine, and Brakul always just kinda being There meant she was living with what had become her closest friend.

The stable state of this Feelings Triangle began to change in the wake of the brilliant plan to get Janeys (gay) (probably infertile) children he could pass off as legitimate via a Brakul/Hibrides pregnancy. It was something all three agreed to as a necessity; it was already drawing scrutiny that Janeys and Hibrides had been married for several years without a pregnancy, and producing heirs is a societal expectation and a central point of an arranged marriage between wealthy elites.

It was especially critical in this case, given Janeys was his family's only male child and only hope of continuing the family line, given both his golden-child sister Faiza and black sheep half sister Couya were Odonii, and thus sworn virgins and would never marry. (There's also a level to this that Janeys was regarded as a complete disappointment by his parents, and his mother made damn sure he knew that his only value at this point was to produce a better male heir to inherit the business. So this was a big fucking deal to him, and to Brakul by extension).

This was also not a route any of them wanted to take on any personal level, least of all Hibrides. She consented to the pregnancy and everything it entailed, but it was inevitably a painful and distressing experience all around. She had never wanted to be a mother to begin with (though had long accepted it as an inevitability), and now found herself with an infant daughter, which only meant it would have to happen again (they needed a male heir after all). And it would be utter social suicide and a profound shame upon her if the child's illegitimacy was discovered, which only added to the stress.

To make things worse, her first pregnancy shifted the entire dynamic with her husband and brother-in-law/best friend. Janeys changed from completely indifferent to actively spiteful and hostile towards her, and things had become extremely uncomfortable between Hibrides and Brakul. It only got worse with Brakul (the only one of them who actually WANTS kids) (kind of haunted by skipping out on his first child) finding it unbearable to be so close to HIS daughter and having to keep up an act that she was not his own, having no direct role in the kids life. He desperately wanted to be a father.

Hibrides, who was going through a fucking lot, started to become vindictive towards him for his role in things. She resented him more than Janeys, because Brakul insisted he cared about her and would desperately try to pretend things were normal, while consistently siding with Janeys against her wishes, including in preventing her from getting a divorce. (His excuse is that the children's legitimacy would be interrogated in a legal setting, which Is likely and Would be absolute social suicide with very real consequences. But the real reason on his part is that if she got out of the marriage, he might never see her or the children again). Hibrides began to do everything in her power to prevent him from having any relationship with his bastard children, even in secret or under the guise of a relative. Sort of an “if I have to suffer to keep up this facade so should you” thing.

They had two children in a span of three years, two girls (ruh roh!) named Erubi and Livya. By this point, Hibrides and Brakul were both experiencing what we would now call Clinical Depression and Alcohol Use Disorder (especially in the latter's case). Hibrides started to have affairs with both men and women, which she was sure to be very obvious about to insult Janeys and Brakul, but was mostly out of loneliness. Brakul turned his complete focus to Janeys and started avoiding Hibrides entirely, in hopes that she would become desperate enough to be willing to make amends (shockingly, this did not happen, and the rift only deepened).

In the present, their relationship status is: fucked. Both of them do still love each other on some level, but this is probably beyond repair. What little time they've spent with each other in the past year is sitting around being miserable and getting plastered. And now Hibrides, Janeys, and Brakul are all forced into the public eye on the pilgrimage together, and with a third child on the way. So that's probably going to be everyone's problem.

[tariah23]

This is such a harmful sentiment to push considering that you don’t necessarily have to be “attractive,” (beauty is subjective, yada yada) in order for men to want to harm you in the slightest… like man, what…

[trashcreatyre]

I think the main thing that pisses me off about like 90% of mephiles ships is that people will be like "how old is he??" Look that fanwiki says that he's ten and they RUN with it. Like they don't read further. I'm so convinced that most people don't even know the plot of 06 bc the shit I've seen people draw and write with the characters is just mind boggling.

[shikai-the-storyteller]

It's taking me ages to write this chapter because every time I look through old VODs / notes to check something, I come across moments like this that make me want to lie down face-first on the floor:

[Context: Pac commits to the idea of taking the Happy Pills so he can create a cure. He's about to write a note to Cellbit to explain his plan.]

Pac: If Cellbit puts himself in this position, it's worse for everyone, because Cellbit is smarter when it comes to coming up with strategic plans, so he is the thinking mind of the Favela Five group, so if he no longer has the mind, he’s not capable of solving this whole problem, you know? But if I put myself in this position to help Cellbit so he can get the cure... You understand? It's better if I'm the bait. Right? I can't- I can't carry things alone guys, I've already lost Mike [...] if I lose Cellbit and I alone had to carry things, I won't be able to. But I think Cellbit can manage better. He is more independent, and he has Roier. He has a husband. I'm trying to– to be lucid here, understand? That's all.

Date: September 11, 2023 || Timestamp: 03:10:10