#it really felt like something theyd do tho

[ansleof]

If you're someone who didn't follow me for Carmen Sandiego (aka all my followers) then you best get out of here while you can. Else you will be forced the witness what this show has done to me. Have fun <3

Based on a real conversation

[britneyshakespeare]

i dont know where to scream about this but i honestly feel some sort of weird relief that r//nbow high is declining. i knoooow i know it's popular and they've been such high quality dolls and collectors have loved them and some(?) people like the web series (or do they? ive heard mixed things but ive never had any interest in watching it) but oh god. i just. sometimes it takes me awhile to appreciate modern doll lines and their aesthetics but i just could not get past their weird fish faces and in general i do not like monochrome styling themes. i realize their designers did so much with their concepts, i realize a lot of heart and effort went into them, and i completely understand why so many people were floored with the quality of the dolls and the rate at which they were being put out. even though the prices kept rising for them, you could at least see where your money was going, like they were always so well-constructed and doing new things. but like. at the end of the day. on a very basic level they were just never all that aesthetically pleasing to me and it was kind of maddening to see all that potential going towards a line of dolls that had just... like... facial proportions i could not get past lol.

[phagodyke]

ahh.. I have tickets for a small music festival tmr which I went to last year + had a whale of a time but this year theres only like 2 artists I wanted to see but they released the schedule a couple days ago and neither are playing before 9:30pm. since I don't live local anymore I'd have to leave to travel back home around that time or I'd miss the last train... and there's not rly anywhere I can crash overnight there (and I was planning on going alone anyway like I did last year). so I think im gonna have to let this one pass me by :-(

[changbinsboobs]

can u do skz how theyd be during fwb?

*For entertainment purposes only, take with a grain if salt!

How would Skz be in a fwb?

Chan - 2 of Cups

I think he would for sure get a crush on the person😂🥲. And i think it be the fruits of his delulu ass tbh. I think he would just start of as fwb but would play into the bf role way to much and shoot himself in the foot and get a crush.

Lee Know - 9 of Wands

I don't think he's someone that would be open to fwb. And i don't think he thinks well of the whole thing in general so im not getting any further specifics on the matter.

Changbin - 10 of Wands, 5 of Pentacles

I don't think he's one for it either, but contrary to lee know i think he has been open to it and tried it. And the whole experience was very underwhelming for him, he felt empty in the connection so he's found for himself he's not someone to be good in or enjoy fwb. Although if he were in a connection like that he would be very confused on how to act, where the boundaries are like where does friends end and lovers beginn, stuff like that. I think he had difficulties navigating the whole thing and instead of having fun and enjoying himself he stressed himself out much more than the fun he was actually getting, cuz he's not a guy to enjoy sex without feelings so there was little to no fulfillment in it for him.

Hyunjin - 3 of Swords

I can't exactly pick out if he has tried it and got hurt, or if he just has very strong opinions on the matter where he's strongly against it. If my own opinion is asked i think his strong opposition and feelings are because of a personal situation. Maybe he has had a crush he had big feelings for, but they didn't, they were open for fwb tho and for him it wasn't an fwb it was a relationship or at least a chance for one. Like there was hope for something more comming out of it - but it didn't. And so he got heartbroken over the situation, realizing the person didn't love him. Its not necessarily fwbs fault😂 but i think hyunjins someone to blame whatever's at the sight of a negative experience he has had, just because he feels such intense negative emotion that later on he associates with this certain thing and so he doesn't like it cuz if that association his brain makes.

Han - 4 of Wands, 9 of Cups

I think he's someone that would be really good in a dynamic like that and i think he would really enjoy it too. I think he would like the freedom and lack of committment, at the same time he'll have the loyalty and company of a hood friend, without having the responsibilities and pressure a relationship brings with itself. I think he'll really flourish in a dynamic like that - i don't think he knows that about himself tho😅😂. Maybe sometime later in life he'll learn this about himself. Oh also im getting he'll need or enjoy variety.

Felix - Knight if Pentacles, Page of Wands

I think he's curious about that. I don't think he's ever tried it out tbh which shocks me a little😅 but i think if he were in a connection like that he'll be open to a lot if stuff and would rather let himself be led by the other person and just follow along and enjoy the ride if i can say so. An di think he'll learn along the way. He'll be very excitable and open and fun to be around and i think the friends in fwb would be very prominent in a connection with him. Even the steamy parts would feel very friendly i think. Looks very nice, i like the energy a lot☺️ got me intruiged🌝

Seungmin - 7 of Cups

If he were single i think he would have quite a few arrangements. He likes variety, he like having friends he can habe fun with, he's a gentleman and he can organize it all well so that its respectful, friendly, fun, within boundaries and idk, just overall good. I think by now i like his approach/energy regarding the topic the most. Idk what else to say about it😅 its just good. Something that in my opinion is bound to go wrong/get toxic in most cases - he seems to actually be experienced/mature/healthy enough to be able to execute it in a good, balanced manner.

I.N - Knight of Swords, 5 of Swords

I think he runs away from offers/people like that. I don't think he thinks well of the whole thing and i don't think he has or ever will have a desire to try it out as again im seeing he's actively running away from it, removing himself from such opportunities, shutting them down coldly etc. Lee Know for example was milder in his coldness towards the topic.

[dozing--zzz]

YALL

the first tickle moment ive had in yearsss happened today HENDBNDD it was tiny but omg in putting it under a cut cus imma be RAMBLIN

okok so. im sitting in the library doing some history work n whatnot yk reading my textbook and taking notes and my friends (ill call them o and j) come back from their class and come sit by me and are just doing work and messing around jokin around j can never be serious for 10 seconds lmfao

but yk i go back to my work, occasionally j says something to o that im like wtf what are you talking ab lmfao?? and go back to my work just back n forth for a lil while and then

all of a sudden

j traces their finger down my back and im like

??!?!??!!?? and squirm away so hard and j LAUGHS. they knew what they were doing fs. but omg lately ive been doubting like am i actually ticklish? no more doubt not for my back thats for sure. like. it was so weird its been so long since ive felt that it was just so HDNDHND??

j does the same thing to o who has a very minimal reaction and then was like "i did that to [irl name] did you see they reacted so funny" and im just like BDNDVDMHEJDBDN DEAD but just go liek "dont. do that." CUS IM SO NERVOUS and go back to work to not bring attention to it cus AAAA and its all i can think about the rest of the time they're there and was a lil nervous theyd do it again but they didn't

but like

J WHYYYYYYY BROO it was so weird its such a funny feeling like i didn't even mean to move i just did like knee-jerk reaction hdndhdndb

losing my mind

im so glad it wasn't more violent tho cus last time a friend did somthin like that to me was in middle school and i kneed my desk and it was super loud and i really dont wanna bring that attention to myself in the super quiet library HDMDBDM

it. was fun fine ill admit it but AAAAAAAAA and maybe yeah I hope j does it again but BDNSHDNDBND?!?!??!??!! im losing it

it was so weird its such a silly feeling i lowkey forgot

ty for coming to my ted talk

[steve-brules-rules]

it is

day 9

of

bweirdOCtober

So Ryan's first relationship was with Dyvim Whitehart. They were really really into each other when they met, and ofc they saved Khrysalis together ! Ryan was about 22/23, and they felt like this was it, they'd found their forever partner. They'd fallen fast and hard, but it just felt right. And things really were great!! They both preferred to take action and help others instead of sitting back, Dyvim is really gentlemanly, they were the only two who really understood eachother when it came to what theyd experienced with morganthe, each one trusted the other with their life, i mean they really had somethin!

annnnd, then they didn't

The first nail in the coffin was Dyvim's desire to stay in Khrysalis. He felt a sense of duty to help rebuild, and for all the traveling he did, he still missed his homeland whenever he was away. Ryan, on the other hand, gets depressed if they have to stay in one place for a long time. They don't have that sense of home, being basically an alien n all that,,

The second nail was that were both relatively young. Ryan is kinda hot-headed and impulsive, but it was wayyy worse when they were younger. And Dyvim was only a little older. They argued about where they wanted to live. Alot. And being younger meant they didnt really know their priorities or boundaries too well yet. So they wanted to sacrifice too much for this relationship that didn't fulfill their emotional needs. They both said and did alot of stuff that was really hurtful, and they both hurt eachother on purpose sometimes. And if one of them did something by accident, the other refused to forgive. Even tho it was a legit accident. So that would build more resentment and start the cycle again.

The third nail was just the inability to communicate. There was so little communication. One wouldn't understand what they had done wrong, and the other would just refuse to ever talk about it. That also built tonnnns of resentment at lightspeed

The breakup was REALLY bad. They'd gotten pretty codependent while trying to hang onto this very bad relationship, so that made everything wayyy harder. Eventually, one day, Dyvim was just gone. Ryan pretty much got the hint at that point, but it was still really hard. They had a ton of trauma to work through, and even when theyd gotten thru alot of it, they still felt hollow and misanthropic and bitter.

--------------

So, some years go by, and Ryan is starting to feel better. They still get angry thinking about all that happened, but they atleast feel better.

Then they meet this REALLY weird guy. He looks just like The Old One, with bizarre tentacles on his face, an unsettling stare, and a silly top hat, but he doesn't act like The Old One. Instead of being articulate and manipulative, he's now dazed. Like he just woke up. Half his words he stumbles over, and he spends so much time agonizing over the other half, wondering if he's saying what he means. He calls himself Nothing. Ryan can't tell if he's telling the weirdest and least funny joke, or if The Old One is just trying to manipulate them for some reason.

Eventually, he starts calling himself Dasein. Ryan can't understand why. It's barely a real word. But there's kind of a charm to him, in his own strange way. He seems genuine. Maybe he was telling the truth about those cavities.

He becomes ashamed of the form he's taken. Ryan can't explain it, but they kind of miss seeing that slightly bewildered-looking stare from his inky black eyes. The way he's always just below a shout when he speaks. But most of all, Ryan is touched by how hard this Dasein guy is trying to learn. It really does seem like he's just now learning the ways of the spiral. And he really looks up to Ryan. They didn't feel worthy of anyone looking up to them. And if they were being honest... they looked up to him. He was determined to do the right thing no matter what, and he had faith in others. Ryan hadn't realized how cynical and detached they'd become until then.

At some point, Ryan feels bad for him not really having any place to go. They know that feeling. So they let him hang out in their arcanum apartment whenever he feels like it. He spends alot of downtime reading and practicing speaking with Ryan. He really doesn't need the practice anymore. He was using impressive language from all the reading, but talking to Ryan helps him feel more confident. And Ryan likes talking to him... alot. Sometimes they talk about history, and sometimes they get to know eachother. They bond over the fact they're both from beyond the spiral, that much of spiral culture seems weird, and they laugh together.

The tentacles aren't offputting anymore. His skin is actually cool and soft, not clammy like they'd expected. They learn all of that when Dasein excitedly tells them to touch his hand and feel his skin for themselves. When Ryan does, they look up and catch his gaze. He's smiling enthusiastically, like a kid who's just remembered the candy in their pocket. Something in Ryan's heart reawakens, and they can't get him off their mind after that. Every time they think about him, they get a fluttering in their stomach.

When he disappears into the world synthesizer, Ryan doesn't know how they could keep going. They want to stop everything and wait for him to come back. Eventually, Malwurf forcibly takes the synthesizer from Ryan. Ryan knows he was right to do so. They had basically been keeping a live bomb tucked under Dasein's favorite blanket. If it went off for whatever reason, they wouldve all be killed.

When Ryan goes to explore the newly created world and they hear his voice again, they almost can't be dragged away. When they hear him again later on, alone and afraid and calling out for them, everything else becomes a second priority. And when he retreats away in fear and pain, they follow him to the actual ends of the spiral to help him.

It isn't until they're both home, together and safe, that they finally admit to eachother how they feel. And Ryan's life is forever changed by that moment.

[haemosexuality]

thoughts on the fionna and cake ending

-it was a bit boring. ok not Boring just, not on the same level as all the other eps? especially not on the same level as the previous two (the star+jerry). like it was more of a Cake the Cat ep. it was fine just not world shattering and thats fine ig

-that being said the casper&nova scenes were sooooo boring i couldnt care less. it kinda made me feel like they wanted to show shermy and beth but didnt know how so they just made up whatever??? it wouldve been cool to see more of future Ooo instead of. whatever that was. they couldve made the parallel to simon and betty some other way. or even if they absolutely Needed to show thay weird video game they couldve made it like one scene and shorter lol. tho the detail of it had being astrid that started the story was cute

-i actually liked the resolution to betty and simons relationship. again they couldve shown More of it instead of it just having like, one scene, but i liked how they did it. getting them back together in a fairytail Everything Works Out And Theyre Happy Ever After!!!! wouldve completely taken away from how tragic their entire story is, but making something even worse happen wouldve just made simon feel worse and his character development wouldnt.... exist much lol. having simon come to terms with it, SEND HIM TO THERAPY THANK FUCK and try to move on w his life is exactly what i was hoping for

and i looooove how they portrayed their relationship. ive seen ppl be mad ab it but like didnt yall like that is was codependent and insane and they were obsessed w each other to the point theyd destroy their life for one another? OBVIOUSLY its going to be unhealthy. thats not saying simon is a bad person, or that they didnt love each other. they obviously did. simon loved betty more than anything. but he was selfish. unintentionally, yeah, he didnt realize how dependent/obsessed she was with him and that she just went along with anything he did which i dont feel its his fault, but it still happened, and it still affected her, it made her get deeper into that. its a new spin on their relationship that feels really real and i really like that. yeah turns out that when ppl are so obsessed w someone that they go insane and almost destroy the world twice thats probably indicative thay theres something wrong there who wouldve thought!!!!

adventure time is The "people have flaws" show (bonnie, marcy, finn, jake, etc etc all the characters are shown to be selfish sometimes snd to varying degrees! and theyre all still good people! theyre still just people) so it feels a bit insane to see ppl acting like the show saying "simon too btw" means theyre portraying him as irredemably bad

-i didnt want the fionna world to completely change and go back to bein magic but i was at least hoping the characters world :( like a "modern with magic" situation it wouldve been cool. and the farm/baby/vampworld characters coming in felt a bit random but like eh sure whatever

-IM SO PISSED FIONNA DIDNT LOSE HER ARM

-i dont think the lack of resolution in all the universes we visited was a bad thing? like i dont even feel like its "lack or resolution" i just felt like. thats how the stories were meant to be told. we come into a world that has nothing to do with us and then we leave them behind, yk? its not our world so we just pass by and dont know how it ends. leave it up to imagination. i thought it was cool we dont need to know Everything

-we shouldve seen marcy and simon interacting when he got back. even if it was just like a interaction without dialogue in some sort of epilogue sequence theyre so incredibly important to each others story and the show even made sure to show us that and we get nothing????? the lack of a scene where he talks to her about how hes feeling and how he almost put on the crown again felt so!! FRUSTATING. the scene in ep two where he calls her even felt like it was setting up for a scene like that! im so mad we got nothing. like i understand the adventure time market is flooded with marceline so maybe they didnt want to focus on her much but still theyre too linked for that relationship to get completely ignored in the Last Fucking Episode of the show

-the implication of fern/phoebe made me pause the episode and stare at a wall for a moment. auaugh.

-SO NO MARSHALL SONG?? *THROWS LAPTOP AT A WALL*

-WHY DID THEY DO NOTHING WITH FIONNA AND CAKE GLITCHING STUFF????? WHY EVEN SET THAT UP IF IT GOES NOWHERE UGHH

-im glad they finally made the lich a bit more interesting instead of Ooh spooky guy is evil

-simon getting therapy from minervabot was awesome 10/10

-once again saying im mad they let fionna keep both her arms. BOOOOOOO 👎👎👎👎👎👎👎

[fizzitpukezz]

A Little Intro :>

Hiii! So I'm trying to post more so hopefully I get motivated because ive b/ped all month (yikes) Im not new or anything though, i just dont post.

So, I've had mia for like a year now, but the disordered thoughts have always been there like "I need to eat less" or "Im gonna start working out more" but i never counted cals or fasted etc i just wanted to be thinner. I also didnt know much about eds at the time either. But then later on I met a girl with Ana and started becoming really jealous of her and some people said we looked alike even tho i didnt really know her. So out of envy and jealousy, I started stalking her posts and noticed she posted alot of ed bs and I was intrigued. So I started researching more about eds and stuff like that. But one skill ive always had was making my food come up. I never used it for purging I just flexed my stomach muscles and made the food come up to chew it a couple of times before sending it right back down. But then I realized I could take advantage of that. So I started purging really often leading me to developing bulimia. But I started going to the bathroom after dinner really often and my dad noticed. His sisters, my mom and HER SISTERS all had eating disorders which i never knew about until he confronted me about my ed. My dad started not letting me use the bathroom after eating also he was pissed off with me instead of worried. He didnt even send me to recovery or anything either. so looking back at it, he just didnt care enough or he didnt know much about it. (which he should, seeing how much ed history in my family there is) but then I started being sneakier with it so he just kinda suspected I "got better" but then I started vomitting more frequently and he caught me. (Note that he didnt know I was a hands free purger so he just thought I was sick) I made up a lie and said that I havent been able to stop vomiting and that I felt super sick. So, then I came up with a master plan to start doing it in front of him more often, so he'd think I had a stomach virus that was really bad and then he'd take me to a doctor or something and I was hoping that theyd give me some foods to cut out so itd be easier for me to restrict. (little did i know there'd be ALOT more than that) So when we saw a doctor, they asked me some questions they did suggest I cut out citrus foods, acidic foods, greasy foods which kind of helped me restrict. But recently I checked in with them again and I told them I havent shit in weeks AND I GOT LAXATIVES YAYYYY!! But I am surprised that they didnt do any stool tests. The only real check up thing they did was give me an xray on my stomach, but they said everything looked good. Sometimes I feel really invalid because I dont purge with my hands or use anything like a toothbrush. And I do feel really guilty seeing how far I've carried on this lie. But being a hands free purger comes with so many pros.

[sharpedgedfool]

i found your blog after finding a sonic comic (which is super good!!!!!!!!!!! i really like the characterizations and how you draw everyone and the colors,) and i was kind of scrolling through until i saw the fleetway and shadow art and i was like. wait hang on ive read that exact fic. i know that scenario. and i went back to the ao3 username and that one cat image YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anyways hi sorry if that was. too much. i hope you know WAIT THATS WHY HOPE WASIN THAT ONE FIC OKOK SORRY BACK ON TOPIC, i hope you know all the characterizations in your fics are spot on, like i know i said that before but its like. you Get Them. knuckles and amy kind of . not shine but have a Big Presence too (as in like theyre distinct yknow? its both something theyd do and it feels thought out. holiday fic for ref) and sonics whole deal. Sonics Whole Deal. Shadow. and also your fics are really fun to read from a formatting standpoint. ok sorry it just felt like i kinda got hit by a truck and now you know. goddbye

DFgjkfdhjgkd hii thank you sm for the kind words!! It means a lot to hear you enjoy so much of my stuff!

Yeah the holiday fic! Aw man I've been trying to get some more of that written, I've two chapters sitting as wip's I gotta get workin on it again! Yeah I'll admit Knux and Amy aren't my faves but I'm doing my best to include more guys in the story even just for practice, I can't just write team dark forever lmao! Glad you've been enjoying it so far tho! I got another Sonic & Shadow stand-alone thing I've been working on too so hopefully I'll be able to upload that soon!

[ohgodimafraud]

hey, thank you so much for engaging with sickromancer’s totally weird responses to the “drama”/“discourse” about… uh… vulnerable chronically ill people daring to discuss traumatic experiences during a pandemic! I really liked their writing, but a while back they posted this, so… not shocking that they don’t actually know the difference between Hot Fantasy Contagion and Hot IRL Indifference

https://www.tumblr.com/sickromancer/748033970277580800/as-being-a-contagion-lover-who-is-a-germaphobe-irl?source=share

listen im not into cancel culture or whatever. i think i'd like to clarify my thoughts one more time tho.

if i disagree with something strongly enough ill say it. i think taking care to keep others and yourself safe is important and ik how serious it is now. covid can disable healthy people and with each reinfection that risk increases. thats not me fear mongering, thats ive read this and have had it 3 times and each time has been worse. it's a real gamble bc you dont know how your body will react to it. theres one client i have who is immunocompromised and every time i enter the home i wear a mask and they wear a mask and there are air filters on and genuinely it's the only place ive felt consistently safe in the past year outside of my own home.

we're all shaped by our own experiences and i sympathize w her situation like my family friends grew up with a parent with extreme untreated ocd and theyd be hours late to everything if like the toilet paper touched the wall wrong and theyd have their own special gym equipment and all of the kids turned out different. one of them became like an anti vax incel alt right guy. i had issues w my parents growing up that im working thru and like i def am more prone to anger than the average person. taking your trauma out on other ppl isn’t okay either though

if youre sharing food or drink w friends, both of u have consented and great. partner to partner = consent. not being worried about germs is a privilege though and not being able to understand that is whats like confusing to me esp after 2020. it's not that disabled people have an irrational fear of germs it's like...survival, genuinely. and even if people do have a legit phobia why are we shaming them

also to clarify, i am not disabled unless u count asthma/probable copd (but literally i can do all my tasks so i do not) and have had so much carelessness at work including a horrible absence policy and have loved ones who are disabled. live your best lives, i think if you're sick you should try not to get random people sick on purpose and thats really my main piece idc about consensual situations or any type of fantasy.

[cemetery14]

i really like talking about akashis faults : )

theres so much soft akashi love someone has to do it!

this kinda applies to all the miracles but akashi in particular, in teiko after akashis switch i feel like there was something inside him that NEEDED to squash kurokos spirit til there was nothing left

just this sick need to kill his spirt completely

the way he would talk to him really felt like he was rubbing salt in the wound and that he was bitter about the fact that kuroko never lost that spark inside him like the rest of them did, even when he lost everything

i think it was the second time akashi confronted him in the gym after he switched, where he just went on and on until kuroko started crying!!!!!!! than he just left him to cry alone in the gym! aaaaaaaaaaaaa

i think he even called kuroko a child or some shit LMAO or he called his thinking childish

oh my god the line where kurokos like

"isnt basketbal about having fu-" (its something like that)

"NO"

just being so harsh about it

THAN the whole 111 11 shit, i genuinely think akashi saw an opportunity to REALLY get to kuroko and finally kill that spark in him and he technically succeeded, kuroko did start hating basketball, idk if he expected him to just quit tho either way kuroko was too stubborn and im sure akashi knew that it wouldn't stick

THAN after he basically told kuroko it was his fault and he shouldn't have asked for special treatment and like... ok if you jump through a bunch of hoops sure hes not totally in the right but that was definetly just akashi being extra harsh when the kid just had a panic attack in the middle of the court!!!

CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE FACT THAT KUROKO HAD A FUCKING PANIC ATTACK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE COURT

DID NO ONE SEE THIS??? DID ANY OF THE MIRACLES EVEN CARE????????AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

i really wished theyd shown more of kuroko and akashis friendship in the anime, cause the way akashi went from being his polite friend who is the whole reason he could even join the third string, to this cold sadistic person who rubs salt in his wounds

its been a bit since i watched the teiko episodes so sorry if i dont remember everything exactly

[goodfully]

what another insane cliffhanger... my goodness, okay finished with the second book!!!! i just need to ramble a bit.

since i just finished it, i have thoughts on nino.. tbh i was quite fond of him initially but then he got increasingly unbearable haha the way he... says to lenu that since childhood he imagined a life where he, lenu, and lila would be together, and then.. uhm wow..! where the hell does he go! hahaha well maybe ill feel differently about him in the next book.

ngl tho, esp during that part with the elena/lila/nino drama, i was so stressed.. it just kept going!!! and kept feeling like so much!!!! wow. i had just kept thinking that theyd all best sit down and be honest with their feelings for each other and then form a poly relationship and run away together or something idk hahaha

okay i think one of my most favorite things about this book is how important every character feels. obviously we have lenu and lila, but like the rest of the cast?? they were not just some random childhood friends mentioned in the first book, they all are growing up too and are experiencing lives of their own. i think this book, more than in the first book, showed a lot of parent/child relationships, mm like how much we fear to become our parents.. to be inevitably trapped in the same fate as theirs. its in my mind a lot, about how much the things that happened to my own parents affect me. ahh elenas relationship with her mother.. despite how badly she wishes to not become like her mother, i think she does see her strength and her care for her... (oh god, like when she was sick and her mom comes out of nowhere?? and i think she was torn between feeling embarrassed by her and how capable her mother really was) oh and things like both antonio and ada becoming in different ways like their mother, stefano resembling don achille, lila fearing her son will be stupid, etc and ofc also just... the weight on all of their shoulders to.. hurry up and grow up? ahh. ///tw death tw suicide/// for the peluso siblings to witness their father be literally dragged out their house in front of them for allegedly murdering another man, hearing about his death in prison, busting the door down and seeing their mother hang herself. for the cappuccio siblings to only have their mother, who needed her children to care of her and her mental state more than she could take care of them. hhhh

that reminds me, the whole book i was hoping for more enzo content hahaha we really barely know anything about him at this point but i adore him. and he is there now! altho i wonder how much more we'll hear of him in the next books.

oh yeah, lila talking crazily about educating all the children to make a change starting with their generation... just like me for real... this is pretty much the main reason i studied early education hahaha its silly now when i think about it, but i used to feel like my skull was breaking from how much i felt i needed to find a way to take care and educate of all the children in the world in order to make some sort of difference... to find a way to get every single child to experience love and care from a loving and caring family... god. anyway i mean i still do believe that taking care of and educating the young ppl of our generation can change the world somehow, but it was just rather.. sad? seeing lila go crazy about her son and her very real fear for her son, that he might become like her and her family, unable to escape violence and poverty.

all this talk about a book centered on elena and not a single word about lenu yet ahhh my bad! oh i want to talk about her years at the university, and... gosh. just knowing you just lack something that your classmates from a rich family and background have that youll never have... even tho she quite literally graduated with top scores, she never felt fully capable? never felt enough? the need to work so hard to suppress herself in order to be okay in that city?? aghfh

alright, the ending! with her realizing that her novel (that she described as something that was truly hers to pietro) was basically born out of and deeply connected to lilas blue fairy book... god!!!!! what the hell!!!!! my goodness. she quite literally describes how theyre soulmates, how theyre connected by an invisible thread, how much they mustnt lose each other anymore. and when they finally met again and she finally realizes that "in the world there is nothing to win, that her life was full of varied and foolish adventures as much as mine, and that time simply slipped away without any meaning, and it was good just to see each other so often to hear the mad sound of the brain of one echo in the mad sound of the brain of the other." sobs. i think throughout most of the book, i so desperately wanted the two of them to just... be okay and stop being in constant war with themselves for each other.. but anyway wow, even tho for this second book the two of them arent with each other most of the time, the way their relationship is so hhhhh described so well and is always relevant, its so real wow its so real.

okay done... mm i was thinking that lenu is probably the more relatable character, but i think i identify a lot more with lila? not really bc of her life or the way acts, but the way she thinks maybe? the way she feels about ppl? idk actually, but its probably affecting the way im reading the series. mm starting tmr i wont have as much time as i do now to read, but im hoping i get through the next two books before the end of next month at least!

[soliddaddy96]

3, 4, 6, 8 for reigen :3

oh heavens the freaker ... the jerkr

3. How did your oc discover themself? Did something cause them to question, or did they always know?

i rememebr i wrote this down somewhere but 2 me he realized he was queer of some sort when he went to one of his sisters friends quinceanera and made out w the birthday girls older cousin behind the venue ... this was when he was like , a highschooler in arizona still . after this he was liek Hmm i think somethings up . he didnt act on these feelings until he was hitchhiking to jess' apartment like years later tho ..... not much else 2 think abt besides how you might be gay for your friendon the open road and such .

with his gender i think he always kindve knew , early on his dad kindve picked up on it and went "heyy y. i dont mind if you ... experiment . with your gender . yoru still my kid all the same 😁" to rei who, at the time, went "? Ok (doesnt think about this encounter until years later)". its also a main reason (2 me ) as to why connor bullied him a bit - in my brain milwaukee is a pretty ... closed minded town , so its only natural people would spread their bigotry onto their children < which is why when connor saw how rei was like "im a MAN" but (in connors mind) didnt make any "real" effort into presenting masc , he 1 thought rei was just doing it for attention and 2 sought out to "fix" him ....... < cornering him and cutting his hair along w just. General torment

4. Is your oc's environment supportive about their identity? How does this impact them?

until he was around middleschool he only really had the support of his dad < his mother being a devout catholic whereas his dad was laid back and also queer himself . after he died and they moved back to arizona rei just kindve caved in on himself and gave up on any presentation gender or sexuality wise ... until one day he felt too suffocated by it all nd went back to the one place he ever really Did feel accepted < milwaukeeeeee 😁and by extension jess nd ashe . the latter i dont know if they met later but i think their presence helps rei greatly ... nervous cheetah and emotional support dog type thang . when hes back w the gang he feels pretty comfortable w them and while he still has his moments of doubt from time to time he still feels confident that theyll never judge him (which they wouldnt thankfully). ave maria

6. How does your oc feel about labels? Theirs, or in general?

he would rather be gutted like a fish than talk about labels ... i dont think he feels all that comfortable w himself to say hes for sure gay ... and as for being trans , he keeps that shit LOCKED UP !!! very stealth with it ... even if being called a woman bothers him hed rather just take it and smile than out himself and risk being harassed . as he gets older he just stops gaf. i think hed just call ashe up randomly one day nd go "Hey .im gay." and then just hang up . theyd understand

8. Have they had struggles with their identity, be it due to internal or external reasons?

hes the prime struggler and transgender allegory ... if hes not actively repressing his feelings for guys then hes trying as hard as he can to come off as a cis guy . i think it stems from the hostile environment milwaukee generally is as well as internal stuff < after his dads passing his mom blamed his homosexuality for it and deemed him a sinner ... her side of the family also just talked shit abt him a lot 😭this diswayed rei Greatly from ever being open . even in his 20s i think despite him being more cool w being gay nd stuff hed still be a little nervous ... i dont think his anxiousness abt it would ever go away for realsies , but with time he wouldnt think abt it too much 👍

AVE MARIA can youtell i want him dead

[lautakwah]

omg jing yuan !! as soon as i met him i knew he was gonna be a fav of mine, and his deal with the finches just sold it. i really love his cn va. he was also really fun to play as for that little stint he was part of your party, i got the awakened dan heng card Right before that final battle which felt perfect and now they have this guy and im like i NEED him his mechanic lags my entire laptop. the xianzhou luofu has been very fun to get to know so far, i do love what dan heng/dan feng and jing yuan have going on, and i guess blade is part of that? i love edgy characters but ironically he's felt like the most boring of the cast so far... but that means i still have two of the quintet yet to meet i think! i cannot guess who theyd be right now. the timelines theyre working with are so funny to me like i guess dan hengs supposed to be 700 years old but also still a teenager? being eternally 17 sounds like some horrific curse. which im still not entirely sure of what he did but that seems undeserved. speaking of which reincarnating (?) and then ending up befriending someone who looks more than passingly like your old life's old friend (the trailblazer and jing yuan's visual similarities are a coincidence im sure but its funny to me) is such a neat concept i hope they touch on. + SEELE AND BRONYA!! they were an amazing part of that storyline i want them on my team so bad. I just got the missions to go back and see whats up with them so i'll have to check it out... when i first continued the story to get to the xianzhou seele was visiting and i thought the game would make her disappear after the warp but she was still there... i was like we've taken this kid 500 million light years away from her home planet we've committed a crime here. ANYWAY this is a mile long i hope u have a good weekend nd get rest o7

yeaaahhh jing yuan's va is so good!! i love playing on cn tbh the other dubs dont hit the same idk... i dont have him tho (f) and both times his banner was on i didnt have enough jade to pull for him 😭 first time bc i spent everything on seele, second time bc of sparkle KHFDKJGFDG literally my roster is almost all the girls (not you topaz. and silver wolf was bc i lost 50/50 💀) and barely any guys (i have dhil and luocha and dr ratio bc he was free... all the others i skipped and im gonna skip aventurine as well LOL) can u tell im a lesbian :'))

and i thought dan heng was like in his early 20s??? but none of it rly gets explained so KFDJKDG we do know viyadhara when they reincarnate become children again and then age up before they go through the whole egg-reincarnating thing again. but like in his prev life he was several decades old and looked the same anyway, yet blade/yingxing at the time was like. an old man (the only "mortal" among them 😭). and then baiheng and jingliu were around the same age as jing yuan? wait actually jingliu is older since she's his master but yeah. it IS interesting to see how their dynamic has shifted tho but you'll see (if you havent gotten to that part yet in any case, i think if you finished the tingyun/emanator of destruction part you should've already known abt most of this due to companion quests!)

also YEAH KDFJHKJFDGD it's so funny that characters from different planets can visit the astral express even when they're not on/near their home planet like oh... i guess we kinda abducted you, lol. although, hey, look at it like this: you can show them entire fields of grass or something which they don't have on their home world...! (and obvi you can just take them back to their home world in a snap 😌)

also my weekend was great!! went to a film festival and talked to friends and had a good time overall fdkjghfkjdg idk if i already said this but saw zhu yilong on screen twice (!!) and also met the director of the movie he was in it was super fun <3 def needed that lol

[cajunfoxnight]

Next up for Gus’s team we have Lance the Furfrou! ◆Name: Lance ◆Nickname(s): Lancelot ◆Species: Furfrou ◆ Ability: Fur Coat ◆ Move set: Cotton Guard // Echoed Voice // Wild Charge // Return ◆Gender: Male ◆Sexuality: ?? ◆Personality: Gentle, calm, and lazy Another long backstory under cut

Backstory: Lance’s backstory is one surrounded my mystery as Gus has no idea where he came from originally, but it seemed that their meeting was one of fate. (and  roughly based on a true story) When Gus was still in Kalos, he was picking up some spare shifts at the Friseur Furfrou Salon here and there for a little extra income. He didnt groom any of the pokemon that came in, as he mostly was the one to bath them, but it was something that he wanted to learn. He enjoyed working there, tho it could be quite demanding at times, and not all of the Furfrou that came in were will behaved (and that went for their owners too!). Still Gus enjoyed it, and it made him interested in owning a Furfrou of his own, but that was mostly an after thought. One day, an elderly couple came into the salon with their Furfrou to get groomed, and Gus was a bit surprised to see this one’s coloration, as this Furfrou was (mostly) solid black- but it wasnt shiny (or so he was told.) The Furfrou- whom was named Lance- was a big fluffy mess, even having bits of debris stuck in his fur! Gus got right to bathing him, and he was all prepared for this pokemon to put up a fight since he was going to have to take a lot of time to get all of that debris out of his hair, but much to his surprise, Lance was a very calm and well behaved through the whole process. Gus even mused to himself that this furfrou was more human than pokemon given how easily he seemed to understand what was being asked of him. Once he had gotten Lance all cleaned up and he was heading to lunch, he overheard one of stylist talking about the Furfrou. Apparently the couple that had the pokemon were looking to find him a home, as they were just far too old with other smaller pokemon at home to properly care for him. Gus inquired about this to the stylist and they suggested that he should ask the couple if theyd be willing to give Lance to him, after all he had wanted a Furfrou of his own, this was perfect! Later on that afternoon when the couple came to pick up their pokemon, Gus brought out the now freshly groomed poodle and asked the couple about him, if they really were looking to find a new home for him, and that would be more than happy to do so! The couple seemed hesitant at first, saying that they werent really sure if they wanted to rehome him, and even then they had a friend of theirs that had already asked. But if things didnt work out they would let him know. The two of them changed numbers, and Gus left feeling disappointed. He couldnt quite place it, but he had really felt a connection with that Furfrou, but he figured that it just wasnt meant to be. That night while eating dinner, he got a call from the wife of the couple, and she asked him if he was still interested in taking Lance. Gus’s heart jumped as he eagerly agreed and they made plans to met up tomorrow again at the Salon to talk it over. Gus could hardly sleep that night. The next day outside of the Salon, he met with the couple who explained to him a bit about the Furfrou. Mostly was that they were not the original owners. A few months before they had found him one morning out wandering around after a bad storm from the night before. They took him home and tried their best to find his trainer, given that the pokemon was so well behaved they figured someone was looking for him. After a few weeks of no one coming to claim said Furfrou, the couple decided to take him in, but despite his gentle demeanor they just didnt have the time to properly care for him like he should be- hence why they were looking to rehome him.  Gus was stunned to learn this, but still was very eager about adopting him- if not more eager than before. The couple agreed, but let him know that if things didnt work out they would take him back should they need to. They handed Gus a small container with a couple toys, bowl, and a small zip top bag of food. From there they handed him the leash and left rather quickly, which.. confused Gus even more. Still, he was happy and maybe just a bit nervous, as he welcomed Lance to his (hopefully) new home. Things were not quite perfect right away, as it took some time for both of them to become adjusted to each other, setting new schedules, and figuring out what worked and what didnt. Still Lance was practically the perfect pokemon. He was calm, quiet, and was happy just being in the same room with Gus, even if he was busy doing other things. He was patient with the younger pokemon (coughcough Cappy and Valkyrie) , got along well with his older ones, and was very good with other people too. If anything Lance seemed to be well liked to all of those that got to meet him. Gus does his best to keep Lance groomed as much as he can, keeping him in the star trim as its his favorite . And just as well, the Furfrou seems to love being groomed, always prancing around afterwards. Gus tends to leave a little goatee on him, as it seems outside of Luminous City (and generally outside of Kalos), people often mistake the Furfrou for being female, which Gus really doesn't understand.. Lance is more of a companion than a battler, but when push comes to shove, this Furfrou tends to surprise people with just well he will hold his ground.

[wanderrlust0]

okay so we hung out and it went well!! we spent like 3 hours together and we got bubble tea at my fav spot and they were trying it for the first time. they got one with espresso and then added another shot of it lol so i tried it and it was a straight up espresso sip lmao but that was before they shaked it. i got a taro which is my go to drink and they tried it for the first time and said it tasted like trix cereal.. which wasnt that far off tbh lol after they said that i saw what they meant bc it is a pretty sweet flavor and fruity but i love sweet and fruity. we planned to go to this panini place afterwards but we were running short on time and they closed so early so we walked around to figure out where else to eat and we went with burgerology and just got apps that we both couldnt finish and had to take home. also i didnt even realize but our check came and then they like took it to their lap so i couldnt see what they were doing. actually now that i think about it i think they paid online or something.. like how some places have a qr code to pay. bc i dont remember the waitor coming back for it and then i saw the check booklet was empty so i was confused and they said they already paid and i was like what wait ill send you money for my food and they were like no dont worry about it im like wait are you sure! but yeah we talked like a lot there and bc i mean we kind of had to like it was a tiny table of us sitting across from each other. i felt like i was actually pretty talkative and like making good conversation i think. i usually suck with new people and i wont know what to say or keep a convo flowing but idk i felt better with them and i also didnt want the night to suck so i made sure to just be normal lol. i will say they were more shy than i thought theyd be! or like not shy but i guess less outgoing and expressive than i thought theyd be but its also literally the first hangout so i cant think much about it. they were talkative tho too so we didnt have like too much awkward silence and like it def couldve been worse so im glad that we actually were able to click and talk about a bunch of random things. i texted them a little after i got home and mentioned a possible next time where we can actually get the paninis maybe and theyre def down to do that and hang again so:) i really just want like a nice new friend out of all of this. like i already have my group of friends i love but its also nice to make a new friend with someone outside your main group you know. its like we can talk about different things that i wouldnt with other people i guess. so yeah it was fun:D