#it only takes like 40 min to make

[terpia]

Not enough people outside of Eastern Europe know about lecsó. It's so easy to make and it tastes so goooooood.

[cathymee]

maybe it's to maintain a sense of tension & turmoil that would eventually reach an explosive peak, a sense of tug-of-war, a back-and-forth to hammer home the ideals they want to deliver and for the viewers to chew on, but although these arguments regarding hiroshi & his stance as a man torn between his loyalty for his country & the loyalty for his Filipino friends and lover is of course important, how they write these scenes & the points they present from this week alone is getting too repetitive...? literally the argument scenes from last night & tonight between adelina & hiroshi is basically the same; the ideas were the same, the dynamics were the same: the aggressive, radical adelina, bristling rage and fear over the injustices she's seen thus far, and the cautious, inspiriting hiroshi, all hopefulness and reassurance one moment as a lover, defensiveness and sternness as a japanese soldier in another. this debate will be ever-present ofc, it is one of the series' biggest conflicts, but it is unfortunately so easy to tell when it is a.) being pulled up as a main topic to move the plot along / be a necessary conflict for character development/introspection / be the conflict to deliver the morals & messages the writers want to send to their viewers, or b.) when it is being pulled up only for the drama and filler to pass the time. like watching the characters sit down to argue for 10 minutes, do other things for the plot for 2 minutes, then sit down again to argue for the next 20 minutes. lol.

[jazzthatonewriterchick]

The Lap Mishap 🎄 (Toji x Fem!Reader x Gojo 18+ One Shot)

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Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x Fem!Reader x Gojo Satoru

Synopsis: In which an innocent situation turns into something a lot more complicated (and sloppier) when you accidentally give the two coworkers that you despise raging boners while working as a mall elf for the holiday season. Fortunately for you, they have a way you can make it up to them and save all of their jobs.

Tags: Smutty Smut; 18+ (MINORS GTFO); Mall Santa!Toji; Mall Elves!Gojo & Reader; Younger Woman/Older Men; College Student!Reader x DILF!Toji (Late 30s-Early 40s) x College Student!Gojo (Early 20s); Accidental Boner; Groping; Lap-Sitting; Voyeurism; Masturbation; Dubcon/R*pe; Threesome; Deepthroat; Spit Play; Oral (Giving & Receiving); Facefuck; Objectification; Slutification; Degradation/Praise; Mild Daddy Kink; Bathroom Sex; Cum Play; Throatpies; No PIV

Writer’s Note: I finished this nasty ass one shot just NOW after my new job because I couldn’t wait till this weekend to do it. I haven’t written something this lewd in a hot min tee hee 🤭 I hope y’all enjoy!! -Jazz 🥰🥰

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���Well, don’t you look adorable.”

You glower at the smug and unfortunately attractive older man sitting at the table in the employee’s lounge with a mug of coffee decorated with running Christmas reindeer. “Don’t, Toji,” you deadpan, crossing your arms over your ample bosom. “I’m not in the mood for this.”

Toji, the sexy, smug older man in question, sniggers into his coffee. “Well, shit, sourpuss,” he replies in his deep, bare toned voice that sends unwanted shivers down our spine. “I was just givin’ you a compliment. C’mon, you know you look cute!”

‘Cute’ isn’t at all what you’d call your elf outfit for your unwanted shift at your crummy seasonal job at the mall.

You would first call it ‘stupid’ because of the pointed green hat and boots you’re forced to wear with the jingling bells attached so you always make noise when you walk.

The second thing you’d call it is ‘slutty’. The red vest hugs your ample tits which you’ve been blessed and cursed with by the lineage of women in your family, the push-up bra making your girls way more noticeable.

The green skater skirt is way too short and you have to be very careful bending anywhere in fear of flashing someone your panties.

And you won’t even mention the red and white striped thigh-high socks and gloves. You feel like a stripper about to make her grand debut at the North Pole dancing in Santa’s workshop!

There is no way the costume designers didn’t know what the fuck they were doing here. You had to rush down the hallway after changing in the locker room to avoid being seen by your fellow overworked and underpaid seasonal employees and mall workers.

You had originally decided to work retail this season to save up on money for Christmas gifts and next year’s tuition. You’re a college student, so your stress levels are at about 100 with winter finals, buying gifts, and still keeping enough sanity to celebrate the holidays on winter break.

You’ve been working retail shifts at Bath & Body Works since September to get a head start on saving plus doing office work for your manager and taking some shifts as a greeter at City Winery aka the only decent restaurant at your local mall.

You thought your time here couldn’t get any worse than customers complaining about discontinued body washes and screaming kids, but you were wrong. When your manager picked you to be the mall elf for the mall Santa shifts this month, you thought you died and descended into Hell.

The only saving graces are that it is only for one month, you get extra pay, and you only have to work four hours throughout the day in this stupid costume. You thought you would have time to relax until the first shift in the privacy of the employee’s lounge, but clearly not.

Of course, you’re forced to share the space with a coworker you can’t stand. “What are you even doing in here?” you ask, scowling at Toji. “Don’t the security guards have their own lounge?”

“Eh,” Toji says, shrugging. “Too many people smoke in there. Plus, you guys got the best mugs.” He raises his mug at you and raises his brows once, smirking at you with that sinful, scarred mouth. “Plus, I need to relax before my shift.”

You sigh, carefully walking into the lounge and taking your Starbucks Frappuccino out of the fridge despite Toji’s presence making you feel nervous enough to fog up your glasses.

Toji Fushiguro is the hot DILF security guard that works full time at the mall to support his son as a single dad. You’ve been working the same shifts as him since September, always earning unwanted attention from him when he opens the doors for you when you arrive and leave your mall shifts.

It is no secret that you strongly dislike the man. He is cocky, pompous, arrogant, and always smells faintly of cigarettes. He is also extremely sexy, standing at six-foot something with defined muscles and arms that could wrestle a bear. You can see why he was hired as a security guard.

He is also a huge slut according to the stories you’ve heard. The man has HUGE community dick (and a huge dick, apparently). He knows he is attractive and knows how to get what he wants from women. But not you, even though he has tried. You wave off his compliments, uninterested in spending any kind of time with him. He is a whore and nothing more.

But Toji isn’t the only coworker at this mall that you detest. “Hey, Fushiiii,” the familiar, silky voice of your fellow college student mockingly sings from the door. Toji begins to laugh, nearly coughing into his coffee. “Damn, Gojo, you look ridiculous!” he guffaws.

You turn from the fridge and you wish you didn’t. Of course, Gojo Satoru is dressed in his own elf costume.

The tall, beefy, six foot-something college athlete and smarty-pants looks less ridiculous than you do despite the silliness of the outfit. His white locks peek out from under his pointed hat and his red socks are stretched tight over his strong calves.

You hide your laughter, refusing to even crack a smile around the guy. Unfortunately, you’re familiar with Satoru. He isn’t quite a friend or really an enemy either…not even an acquaintance. He is more of a colleague who goes to the same school as you and you’ve had many courses with despite you being a junior and him being a senior.

He is also incredibly intelligent, the star basketball player on your uni’s team, just as cocky as Toji, and incredibly good-looking. You’ve had many thoughts of his plump, pink lips and Colgate smile when you should be studying.

Satoru is more than convinced that you two are friends who sometimes flirt. When he sees you, his blue eyes are all aglow. “Ooooh, don’t you look so cute!” he coos.

“Oh, please, don’t start,” you groan, rolling your eyes. “I already had to hear that from him.” You nod at the security guard sitting spread eagle at the table. “But it’s true, ain’t it?” Toji sniggers. “You’re gonna get a whole lot of attraction with this little get-up.”

He reaches out and flicks one of the tiny bells attached to your belt. “Cut it out!” you hiss, slapping his hand away. Your skin grow hot with frustration and embarrassment.

“Oooh, she’s feisty,” Satoru chuckles. “Hang on, I need to get a picture. This is just too good.” He slides his phone out of his pocket, but you duck behind a nearby chair.

“Don’t,” you growl. “Take a picture of yourself. I’m sure your boys on your team would love to see your new get-up.”

Satoru laughs, coming into the kitchen, ducking under the door to avoid hitting his head because he’s so goddamn tall. “I already did and I still look good,” he replies. “How much you wanna bet I’ll snag a single MILF with this fit?”

He gives you a wink while Toji laughs, eyes still on you. Anyone else would feel rather intimidated being in a room with two broad, tall, hot dudes, but it is as if you have no inkling that these two are even remotely attracted to you.

A little self-deprecating of you, but you’re an extreme nerd. Not only are you rocking glasses that make your eyes explode to the capacity of the frames, you always have your nose stuck in a book or a study guide. You don’t get involved in dating on campus or who is fucking who.

While it would be nice to find someone nice to call a boyfriend, you know that men are too involved with less-nerdy girls to even try to talk to you, and you prefer it that way…at least, that’s what you tell yourself.

“You wish,” you scoff at Satoru as he passes you to grab a bottle of water. As he does, his hip bumps yourself, making you feel as if you’ve just been burned.

“She’s gotchu there, Gojo,” Toji chuckles. “Not when my sexy ass is gonna be wearin’ this Santa outfit.”

“Wait, what?” You turn to stare at the security guard, mouth open in shock. “You’re playing the mall Santa this year?”

Toji nods and smirks at your reaction, moving his legs from under the table to reveal his leather boots and red pants with furry, white trim along the ankles and belt. His black tee is tight against his toned, impressive upper torso, outlining each ridge of his pecs and abs.

“That’s correct, my dear elf,” he teasingly answers, making Satoru snigger. “You’re about to be workin’ for me in the next few minutes and for the rest of the month.”

“And workin’ with me,” Satoru adds, his pink lips curled into a teasing smile that boils your blood. “Your favorite project partner and classmate.” He, too, plays with the bell on your belt, making you swat his hand away.

This couldn’t be any worse! The last thing you want is to spend the next month with these two assholes. You desperately want to hit your manager up and tell her to switch you with someone else, but you know that no one else is willing to be the mall elf this year.

So with a heavy heart, you finish your few minutes of privacy with your Frappuccino in the locker room before you’re forced to stand alongside Satoru the Mall Elf while Toji gets settled in his fake armchair among the gaudy Christmas setup for Santa Claus. Toji sits in the whole Santa getup, beard to cover his cleanly-shaven face and all. His legs are spread eagle and you have to avoid looking at him so you won’t be staring at his crotch.

Two more mall elves, high schoolers Yuji Itadori and Kugisaki Nobara, help round up the kids in line and chat with the parents (or argue with them, courtesy of Nobara) while Satoru announces to the kids how to conduct themselves around Toji Claus. “Aaaaalright, boys and girls!” he bellows, his voice echoing among the dozens of rosy-faced little munchkins. “Are y’all ready to meet Santa Claus?!”

“Yeeeeeah!” the kids cheer, overexcited and overjoyed to sit in a grown man’s lap, telling him what they want for Christmas, and get some photos snapped.

You smile a bit. You’ll admit that Satoru is good with kids being the yapper he is. “Now just as a reminder to you fine folks: no shoving, hitting, yelling or spitting. There is plenty of Santa to go around. When you finally come up here with me and this other fine elf here…”

He motions a hand to you and gives you a wink that you nearly miss. You roll your eyes, ignoring the way your stomach flips. “…you sit in Santa’s lap and nicely tell him what you’d like for Christmas,” he finishes. “You guys got it?” While some nod in understanding, others look lost. “I think they need a demonstration, Satoru!” Itadori calls while Nobara snorts.

Satoru wickedly grins at Toji, but the mall Santa isn’t having that. “Nah,” he deadpans behind his fake beard. “You’re too tall to be a kid…but she’s not.” He points at you with one gloved hand, smirking. “You ready to be a model student, college girl?” he whispers.

“Fuck off,” you hiss under your breath. There is no way he can be serious about this! “Our dear elf Y/N, Santa’s favorite elf at the North Pole, is about to demonstrate for you guys what to do,” Satoru announces, struggling hard to fight his laughter.

Toji pats his lap, his smile almost obscene. “Come, little girl: sit on Da—, I mean Santa’s lap.”

You simmer hot with anger and frustration, not just for him but for Satoru who even thought to encourage this. But with the kids and parents all looking at you, you have no choice.

Swallowing your pride and not-so-nice words, you smooth your skirt over your ass and take a tentative seat in Toji’s warm, muscular lap. You sit rigidly, your hands stiffly in your lap and shoulders tense.

Toji places a hand on the arm of his chair, right next to your elbow. “Now what would you like for Christmas, hm?” he asks. “A Barbie? A puppy? Maybe a sense of humor?”

You turn to him, your jaw thigh. “I hate you,” you mouth.

“Sorry, I couldn’t hear you too well, little girl,” he replies, tapping his ear. “Santa’s hearin’ ain’t too good. Can you speak up for me?” His eyes glow with humor and mirth, finding enjoyment in your suffering.

You fix a smile onto your face and look straight at the happy-faced kids. “A Barbie please, Santa,” you chirp, your voice fake and cheery. Suddenly, a big, gloved hand snakes around your waist, holding you firmly onto his lap. You gape at him, alarmed. “W-What are you—“

“And what else, little girl?” he interrupts, his voice growing lower. More seductive. “Go on, tell ol’ Santa what else you’d like under your tree.” His grip tightens a bit, not enough to hurt you but just enough to be possessive of you. You stare at him, completely speechless.

“Oh, oh, I want a kitty cat!” a little girl yells from the line of kids. Her bold statement causes the other kids to begin screaming out what they want. The commotion distracts the adults enough for you to deal with Toji. “What the hell are you doing?!” you hiss. “Let go of me!”

You try to stand up, but Toji tightens his arm and snatches you back down, his fingers nearly digging into your thigh as your skirt rides up an inch. “Ah-ah, don’t move around too much, doll,” he whispers, his voice like smooth whiskey. “You’ll cause somethin’ that you didn’t intend to do…or maybe you did.”

As you see his eyes grow hooded, you feel your stomach fluttering with frantic butterflies…as well as something else. Something you feel growing underneath you. When you accidentally shift in Toji’s lap, he quietly groans behind his fake beard, muffling the noise, but you hear it.

You also feel the very obvious, hard, swelling, throbbing bulge growing underneath your ass. “Oh, my God,”you gasp, looking behind you. “Y-You’re…you’re ha—“

“Sorry,” he apologizes though he doesn’t sound the least bit sorry. “But can ya blame me? I’m a guy, after all.”

You gape at him, your face ablaze, unsure of what to do or how to feel. Should you feel flattered? Disgusted? Embarrassed? With the way his hand is still securely wrapped around you, you aren’t sure anymore. “Y-You can’t—“

“What?” Toji chuckles, his laughter soft yet seductive. “Don’t act like you’re not enjoyin’ this or like you haven’t been eye-fucking me since we met.” His gray eyes slide over to the tall, white-haired elf currently chatting up a married couple. “Not just me but the basketball star too.”

You are unable to talk despite your desire to protest. But he’d know you weren’t telling the truth.

Toji pulls his beard down to show off his plump, kissable lips and you have the sudden urge to kiss his scar. “Lucky for you, babes, I’ve got a thing for chicks with glasses.” He smiles up at you, the act somehow making him more handsome and more irritating.

His grip loosens and you finally shoot out of his lap as if your ass is on fire. Speaking of ass, the damn thing is nearly out because of how your skirt has ridden up past your red stockings.

“Alright, boys and girls!” Satoru yells. “Time for…” He turns around, just in time to get a flash of your red panties and how soft and suckable your thighs look in your stockings. ”Fuck,” he says under his breath, gaping at you and envisioning some very nasty things.

“Time for some photos!” Itadori calls. “Everybody line up, one at a time to meet Santa!”

Satoru is too distracted by your soft thighs and the flash of your red panties to pay any attention to his job. You notice his eyes and quickly pull your skirt down as low as it can go….which isn’t very low.

“I’m shocked you ain’t feelin’ a draft,” Toji whispers. “Careful, doll. You might flash the kiddos.” You glare, but not at him. You don’t look anywhere at him. “I could tell you the same thing, jackass,” you hiss. “Don’t look at me.”

But you can still feel his glaring, hot gaze on you, as well as Satoru’s. Nobara has to kick him in the ankle to snap him out of it. “Uh, Gojo?” she whispers. “Helloooo? The camera for the pictures?”

Blushing as red as Toji’s uniform, Satoru quickly fumbles with the camera as the first little boy comes up to Toji, smiling big and bright for the mall Santa. You stand off to the side, discreetly pulling at your skirt and wishing to melt into the floor.

After an hour of standing there pretending not to be aroused by the idea of Toji’s cock, you’re finally given a 30-minute break for lunch. You quickly make a beeline for the security guards’ break room located at the back of the mall, knowing that most of them are posted outside or on duty on different floors.

The breakroom is luckily empty, but you can barely eat most of your lunch except for a bag of chips and gulp down some water. You can’t even relax. Mostly because of the throbbing sensation between your legs.

You whimper, shifting your body in the chair closest to the private locker room and bathroom. You have felt like this for over an hour, doing your best to ignore the tingling between your thighs as you assisted each kid.

But now as you sit in the privacy and darkness of the break room, you can’t ignore the uncomfortable wetness of your panties anymore…or how depraved you are getting horny over Toji’s cock. You know you can’t go on like this, not when you need to work.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” you mutter to yourself. But you leave your post anyway and quickly hide in the empty locker room where you proceed to shut the door and sit on the bench farthest away from it.

Quickly, you reach under your skirt and slip your panties down to your thighs. “Ah,” you gasp as the warm air hits your bare, sodden wet pussy. You are a mess. How could the idea of Toji getting a stupid boner arouse you so?

When you close your eyes, the images get worse. You see the sexy, smirking security guard peeling down his Santa pants to reveal his fat, throbbing, veiny cock just curved enough to help you imagine what it would stroke inside of you.

As you take two fingers and begin to slowly rub your needy clit, you see yourself wrapping your lips around the thick cock in front of you as your hand wraps around his shaft. You can almost taste him, feel his warm balls against your chin.

“Oh, fuck,” you whisper, your voice quivering as your fingers grow slippery. Your slick trickles down your slit as you frantically play with yourself, hearing Toji’s low moans in your head as he sinks into your throat.

You can feel yourself growing closer, your pussy oozing more and more slick just as Toji begins to fuck your face as he grabs the back of your head, pulling your hair. Your breath comes out in short pants that sound louder in the empty locker room as the knot in your core grows tighter. “T-T-To—“

The door suddenly opens and there the mall Santa stands. He looks shocked to see you at first, but then his face turns into one of pure smugness. “Now what do we have here?” he mockingly asks. “A very naughty fuckin’ girl.”

You nearly scream, quickly closing your legs and covering yourself. “Fuck!” you gasp. “What the fuck are doing in here?!”

Toji leans against the doorframe, arms crossed over his beefy chest. He has ditched the Santa jacket for his black tee, but kept the pants and boots. “Came in for a break since all the guards are on shift, but I see you decided to do the same thing.”

You flush hot with humiliation, your heart pummeling in your chest. “T-This isn’t what it looks like,” you weakly say. Toji cocks his head to the side. “Really? ‘Cause it looks and sounded like you were just rubbin’ that little pussy to the thought of me before your next shift.”

His lips curl into a knowing smile. “So the earlier situation got to you too. Lucky for you, babydoll, I’m still not over it either.”

His big hand grips his hard-on chubbing against his red pants, captivating you.

Then…zzzzzip. His fly comes down, his belt comes off, and suddenly, his cock is out and slapping against his toned stomach and happy trail. It is as thick, veiny, and curved as you envisioned in your fantasy. Your eyes grow wide at the sight like a deer caught in headlights. Suddenly, you can’t move.

“I’m still very much on the hard side,” he breathlessly states, his eyes hooded with lust. “And since this is your fault, I think you need to take responsibility for it.” He flashes his teeth at you in a grin, wrapping a hand around his hard cock. “Kill two birds with one stone, so to speak.”

You watch him jerk his dick in front of you, your pussy clenching around air at the lewd sight. Suddenly, he stops and walks up to you, his boots thudding across the floor. He looms over you, a wolfish grin on his face, and you lean back as far as you can against the lockers like a trapped animal. “C’mon, you can be a good little helper for Santa and help me out, right?”

You don’t know whether to say yes or tell him to go fuck himself. You know you should go for the second option. After all, he’s being a pervert and using earlier as an excuse.

But somehow, all common knowledge, logic, and ethics go out the window when you suddenly find yourself dragged into a bathroom stall and kneeling on the tiled floor with Toji’s cock in your mouth. His big hand intertwines in your hair, his thick, calloused fingers gripping each strand to push and pull you onto his cock.

“You’re doin’ so good so far, babydoll,” he praises, his voice strained with pleasure. “Keep it up for me, ‘kay? You’ve got about twenty minutes left to make Santa cum.”

His groans and grunts are quiet yet delicious, heard by your ears only in the empty bathroom stall as your cheeks hollow around his cock. He is bigger and thicker than you anticipated, leaving your jaw aching trying to accommodate him as you suck him off. Saliva drips down from your mouth down your chin, threatening to stain your top.

As if thinking the same thing, Toji rips your top down, exposing your tits to him. “Fuck, look at how sexy you are,” he groans, watching the way your chest jiggles and sways as your throat expands and flexes around him. “Such a good little slut for me. Swore you didn’t want me, but now look at you.”

He forces your chin up to look at him, your watery eyes and crooked glasses staring up into his devious, salacious gaze. “Betcha you always wanted to do this,” he chuckles. “Betcha you played hard to get just to drive me fuckin’ crazy like the little cock whore you are.”

He wipes some spit away from your lips before he pushes himself in deeper, nearly making you choke. You pull yourself away far enough to cough and catch your breath. “T-Toji, wait,” you gasp. “You’re too deep!”

He ignores you, forcing your mouth open and plunging himself back between your plush, wet lips to sink into your sloppy, velvety throat. “But you can take me, baby,” he pants. “Oooh, I know you can. Sluts like you feen for nasty shit like this.”

He begins to fuck your face, emitting squelching sounds from his wet cock constantly plunging into your throat as you gag around him. “Yeah, that’s it,” he moans in delight. “That’s what I like to hear. You just keep bein’ a good girl for me, baby.”

Your throat continues to make the most obscene, wet, and lewd sounds, the squelching and gagging possibly drifting throughout the bathroom and locker room rafters. The more Toji rails your face and plunges his cock into your throat, the louder the sounds become. His grunts and moans also grow louder, bouncing off of the tiled walls.

You can tell he is close from the way he grabs the back of your head, forcing your face closer until his balls are flush against your chin. “Fuck, you’re gonna make me cum!” he groans, his muscular, naked thighs tense as he fucks your mouth like he is trying to hit a home run. “C’mon, doll, take Daddy’s fuckin’ load.” He pauses, chuckling. “I mean take Santa’s load. You want a white Christmas, don’tcha?”

You can’t even answer. You can’t warn him either when the door to the bathroom suddenly opens just as Toji’s loud, guttural groan of release escapes his mouth. As the bathroom stall flies open, a load of Toji’s warm spunk floods your throat, filling your mouth to capacity. There is so much that it spills out of the corners of your mouth and down your chin.

“Fuck!” he moans, soft high-pitched hums leaving his lips as he slides his cock out of your mouth and pumps the rest of his cum onto your glasses. Droplets of spunk fly onto the lenses, fogging them up.

You can’t be more horrified by anything else when you turn and find Satoru standing there in his elf costume. He looks shocked to see you kneeling there before Toji with cum all over your mouth, glasses, and some on your tits with your pussy openly gushing through your panties on the floor. But once the shock subsides, a Cheshire Cat-like smile appears on his lips. “Oops,” he chuckles. “Guess I’m in the wrong bathroom.”

Toji laughs, sounding like a straight-up villain. “Nah, you’re in the right place. You’ve still got time left if ya wanna use it on her.” Satoru shuts the bathroom stall and you realize just how big it exactly is. Big enough for three people. “Shit,” he scoffs, a shit-eating grin on his face. “What else am I here for?”

Both men look down upon you like you’re no more than a dessert plate for consumption. Despite the ridiculous costumes, the duo remind you of villains. “Sorry to shock you, cutie, but he ain’t the only one you’ve got rock.” Satoru palms his hard cock pushing against his green pants. “I’ve been thinkin’ about those lips and these panties for hours.”

He kneels and forces you into a face-down, ass-up position, making you squeak in surprise. You have to cushion your cheek with your hands to avoid the nasty floor. When one of Satoru’s fingers slides against your pantyline, you gasp. “Oh! And she’s wet!” He tuts at you, giving your ass a harsh spank and groaning at the recoil. “Naughty little elf. What would Santa say?”

He takes your panties by the waistband and tugs them tight against your wet pussy, making you whimper at the friction. Toji chuckles, giving your ass his own harsh spank. “Santa’s says this little whore needs to be punished,” he whispers and it’s almost threatening to your ears.

And punish you, they do…in their own wicked, lewd, torturous way. Suddenly, you find yourself sitting on the toilet seat with your legs while Toji kneels between your thighs, slurping and licking away at your cunt while his thick finger fucks your hole. Satoru stands to your left, rutting his hips into your mouth, his long dick plunging in and out of your throat.

“Fuck, your mouth is so wet, honey,” he moans, palming one of your tits. “Shit, Toji, how much did you cum in here?” His handsome face is flushed and his blue eyes are desperate as he does his best to quiet his whimpers and whines over your sloppy throat.

Toji chuckles, his tongue piercing tickling your clit as he flicks the tip of his tongue against it, sending shocks of sensitivity and tingles of pleasure throughout your body. “Enough to make her throat slick enough to fuck.” Your pussy clenches around his finger, your velvety, slick walls tightening around his digit.

The older man looks up at you, smirking into your desperate, needy eyes. “Oooh, I tasted that gush. You like the sound of another throatpie for that slutty mouth, babydoll?” He dives back into your pussy, his tongue sloshing and slashing about, probing an answer out of you. “Mmm-hmph-mmm!” you whine around Satoru’s cock, your screams muffled by his constant fucking.

Toji chortles into your pussy, pulling away to regard Satoru with your slick all over his lips. “That’s a yes,” he chuckles. Satoru blushes, overcome with lust as he watches his long cock disappear between your soft, juicy lips. “F-Fuck, I hope so,” he whines, cupping your cheek. “Goddamn, cutie, you’re fucking mouth is….”

His words die into desperate moans as he continues to ram your throat like he’s trying hard to fill it with his babies. Your nostrils are full of the scent of his body wash and cologne, somehow acting as aphrodisiacs for you. “You sound even sluttier than her,” Toji chuckles. “I think she likes it though. Look at this sexy little bitch.”

Under their hot gazes, you feel like the slut they see: titties out, pussy exposed, and getting used in a bathroom stall. Satoru takes his cock out to lightly tap your tongue. “You like gettin’ this mouth fucked at work, slutty girl?” he teases.

Before you can even think of a reply, Toji hooks his finger up in a way that makes your eyes roll back. “O-Oh, fuck!” you moan, louder than you should’ve. Satoru quickly plugs your mouth back up with his cock, plunging deeper and deeper, making you take every inch. “Mmm, that’s a pretty face, cutie. Keep lookin’ at me like that.”

His blue eyes kick on yours, reminding you of oceans in the far-away Caribbean Islands, while he slips his cock out of your mouth. He grips your chin and whispers a fierce “C’mere” before his lips are slamming against yours.

As you kiss, Toji’s tongue moves faster, his moans traveling up to your core and sending vibrations through your clit. Satoru pulls away and spits in your mouth, the act so quick and surprising that you nearly miss it.

“Spit it back on my cock,” he demands and you do, making his cock shiny with your spit before he slides back in. After a few more sloppy thrusts that cause your glasses to wobble and spit to drip down your chest, he’s close. “Shit!” he gasps. “Fuck, fuck, fuck me, m’gonna cum! You’re gonna…fuck, baby!”

You are too. You can feel your pussy tightening, clenching, throbbing with the urge to release. “Mmmm!” you whine around his cock, your thighs trembling around Toji’s neck.

The security guard intensely stares at you, forcing you to cum with that damn finger crooked inside of you. “Give it to me,” he demands. “You know you fuckin’ want to. Go ‘head, babydoll.”

You can’t help yourself. You hush all around Toji’s cock just as Satoru loses the last thread of self control and cums deep in your mouth with a long, loud moan that no doubt attracts unwanted attention from the outside.

Another fat, creamy throatpie fills your mouth and streams down your throat, nearly making you choke. Satoru luckily pulls out, but only to jerk the last drops of spunk onto your tits and glasses, staining your skirt and top in the process.

As the last tendrils of pleasure course through you, Toji slurps you up and leaves your pussy twitching from his ministrations. As he sits back to sigh, Satoru releases a huff, exhausted but satisfied. “Oh, fuck,” he groans followed by a whistle. “That was amazing! Definitely needed for a shitty shift.”

Toji nods, his lips coated in you. “I concur,” he hums in pleasure. He leans up to get eye level with you and holds your chin in his hand. “C’mere, doll…taste yourself. This slutty pussy is just too good to not share.”

He smashes his lips against yours, pulling you in for a sloppy French kiss that steals your breath away. Jealous, Satoru yanks you away towards him.

“Save some for me,” he murmurs before he leans in to kiss you, softly moshing as he does. He then pulls away, kneels, and slurps the rest of you off of your open thighs despite your whimpers of agony. It hurts too good.

Ring-ring-ring!

You jump at the sudden sound. Satoru reaches into his back pocket to get his phone. “Uh-oh!” he mockingly announces. “That’s the timer. Break time is over.”

Toji begins to get dressed, zipping up his fly and tucking in his shirt. “We should probably clean her up. Poor baby looks like she can’t even walk.” He laughs at your expense, humored by your fucked-out, messy state.

Despite them both using your holes just now, the two dress and clean you up as much as possible. They pull your skirt down, fix your top, clean off your glasses, and smooth down your skirt.

Once finished, Toji passes you a napkin out of his pocket. “Wipe your mouth, babydoll,” he sniggers. “You don’t want people to ask what’s on your face…or glasses. Shit, we did a number on ya.”

He plants a sloppy, wet tongue kiss on your mouth, filling your tongue with the taste of your pussy and himself. “This was a lot of fun, sugar,” he says with a smirk. “Call me again if you need a worthwhile break, alright?”

You wordlessly stare at him, unable to form words…or even think them.

“Same here,” Satoru adds, flashing you a smile as he fixes his costume. “I’ll know who to go to for my little ‘problem’ next time.” He presses a kiss to your cheek before he and Toji head out of the stall back to work.

But Satoru stops and turns back to you, smirking. “Oh, and…”

He bends down and snatches up your red panties, tugging on the waistband with his teeth before stuffing them in his pocket.

“These are mine.”

He gives you a wink and blows you a kiss. “See ya out there!” he hollers before he disappears out of the bathroom with Toji, leaving you alone with your thoughts and regrets. But also supremely satisfied.

In the end, you’re late back to your shift.

THE END.

[barblaz-arts]

Found out about you and your chaggie art on twt and decided to check out more of it on here! I’ve heard about hazbins hotel before and have seen the pair and fanart of them but haven’t made the decision to watch the show.

Wanted to ask from your perspective, what is it about chaggie that you like? Could be anything about their relationship dynamics, wtv representation that they portray, anything! Should I watch hazbins hotel for them 🤔

Gosh! What do I love about them??

Oh man, welll... On a surface level? The dynamics they display are just so delicious to me, and I especially love that it's always a little subverted with them, yunno? It's angelXdemon, but the demon is the precious sunshine while the angel is the grump with a body count. The princessXknight dynamic they display is subverted too because although Charlie is the one born in the worst realm in Creation, she's still the privileged princess, meanwhile even though Vaggie is the one who came from literal paradise, she's the one who lived a life that wasn't exactly luxurious. They just present dynamics I've already always loved but with a fun little twist.

But on a deeper level, I think I love Chaggie because they're already so far along in their relationship, and you can see it in how comfortable they are with each other, which was such a surprise for me. You see, I'm not very good at fixating on ships when they're already canon. Like, I'd think it's cute, but I wouldn't be itching to find fics about them. And if a ship I've liked finally gets together, I actually... usually... Kinda sorta love the ship a little less... I'd still like them! I just wont be as giddy about them.

But omg Chaggie still manages to give me butterflies, and I think it's because they're way past the honeymoon phase, something that I barely see represented for sapphic couples who are such important characters in a story. Lotsa people didnt like how it wasn't initially obvious that they were a couple, but I actually really loved how the writers and animators showed how deep their bond is without having them making out ang grope each other all the time. God if they were like that, it'd probably give me the ick.

It was just lowkey, because they've been together for years. Charlie would casually rest her arm on Vaggie's thigh and Vaggie isn't flustered because it's probably a habit of Charlie's by now. Vaggie would tuck Charlie's hair out of her face while she's worried about something and it isn't framed as a special thing, but you can tell by how Vaggie looks at Charlie that it wasn't done with any less love than it did over the years. And when Charlie's stressed about a phone call, Vaggie wordlessly offers her hand and Charlie takes it with a quick appreciative smile before holding on tight and bouncing their joined hands up and down like it's a stress reliever.

Their interactions weren't uber sweet with heated physicality, but the show had them display familiarity and comfort instead. And idk i just love that. I love that you can clearly tell they're best friends. Like, the very first scene they appear in for the Pilot, Vaggie is tying Charlie's bowtie for her while Charlie stares at her with a smile on her face. So cute...

Also. I just think both of them are hot lmao

So. Do I think you should watch the show for Chaggie? Idrk. I personally watched for them, but I came into the show expecting not to get much shipping fuel bcuz they were already in a relationship in a show that has a whole dang lot more going on in it. So some people who wanted to get into the ship expecting maybe a lotta smooching felt unsatisfied. But honestly, what did they expect from a 8 ep season that only had a run time of 22 mins per episode, in a show that wasn't even a romance? 😭 I personally thought we got a decent amount without taking away from the actual plot.

I think you should try to watch with the mindset of just having plain ol fun. Try the first 2 episodes, which is only 40 mins of your day. If it doesn't jive with you, that's totally fine. But pls do check out the songs if you dont like the show. The songs are so good. My favorite song from the season has plot stuff, but this one is my second favorite

And since we're talking about Chaggie, here's the reprise of that song sung by them. It's short, but they promised more chaggie songs will be in season 2 so im not too sad about it. Charlie and Vaggie's VA harmonizing is just beautiful.

Edit: for those who saw this post when i accidentally prematurely posted it before adding the links and photos, no you didn't 😐

[alwaysshallow]

Just saw ur post w a higher rank reader and im in love!

Imagine getting to work with a higher rank/colonel reader who doesn’t bark out order and is always calm, friendly, yet professional.

Treats everyone on the team like an actual person and is very understanding. They get everything done on time or EARLY (like a 3 week mission took only 1 week) with zero backtracks.

Bonus if reader gives everyone a “break time” even if its in war zone lmao. But some how everything works out and ppl are working w max efficiency and min casualty.

“Team bravo pls retreat to point B and switch places w team delta and take ur 40 min brk pls ty ty💞🫰”

Ghost hearing it 1st time on the radio: “ESCUSE ME!!?! WOT!!???🤯”

!!!! years of experience told reader that nothing does better than good environment and she's more than determined to make her people not only efficient, but she's kinda like price? like, you know you can trust her and tell her shit you probably shouldn't, but her lips are sealed.

she also has many friends considering her years spent in military, so maybe it is easier to end missions on time/early, bc of her connections and being a manipulative bitch she can be if she wants something.

break time maybe not 40 minutes but like. 15-20, reader saying that they're supposed to take break, check their guns, check if there's anything they need before they will continue pushing forward. it's not because she's friendly, it's because she likes to work alone and check if there's any more danger than she already saw.

ghost is absolutely flabbergasted LMAOOOO and doesn't believe in shit like this so he follows up after reader. "tough time? we should take east route. we can move by the river" he'd say, seeing her in deep thought.

"i told you to take a break. it's disobedience to your colonel" she'd look at him, almost rolling her eyes

"it's not really a break, when you're thinking for all of us" and he gives her the look. "we're a team"

reader has a lot going on her mind and simon is the one to actually notice that between her playful nature and being all bubbly almost all the time. their bond grows stronger after this situation imo

[mystellenia]

giving ellie a hoodie full of kisses ୨ৎ

summary: you paint a hoodie with kisses for ellie, and the gesture flusters her.

content: nothing much, just ellie being shy

notes: answer to this req!! i'm trying a new format of posts. sometimes i see people do not quite hcs but also not quite a normal, paragraph-formatted fic. its this in between of bullet points????? idk lemme know if yall like it

(wc 0.6 k)

after spending an hour on painting your lips and pressing them to the cloth of the hoodie you'd gotten for ellie, you sat back and examined your work

you had to admit: the hoodie looked beautiful. but! you did not!!!! your lips were stained red from the paint, your back hurt from hunching over to kiss the hoodie, and you'd probably ingested about an ounce of red40!!! (i know red 40 is in food but let me be silly)

after washing the paint that had gotten on your skin off in the sink, you ironed the sweatshirt to seal the paint in (don't ask me how that works bc idk i just saw it on tiktok like 10 mins ago)

and now we wait for ellie to come home!!

when she finally comes in, she throws her keys on the table near the door and toes her dusty, disintegrating, been-to-bethlehem-and-back converse, bc have you seen them. one day she's gonna take a step and they're gonna turn into a cloud of dust i swear

anyway you're sitting on the couch with your phone in your lap, the painted sweatshirt folded into a square with the kisses hidden inside. she walks towards you and gives you a lil kissy kiss on the forehead like hiiii

you get all smiley because you're excited for her to see the sweatshirt and she gets all suspish.... like what's so funny....

sooooooo.... you tell her you made her something and unfold the hoodie and hold it up to your body so she can see the full thing. and she would soooo get all beet red, like, "...you made this for me?"

and you're like "yes of course do you like it queen" then she gets over the like flusteredness (????(actually i revoke my ???? bc i just made that a word)) and gets so happi like yayyy!!!!

then she looks all confused at your lips and is like "is that why your lips look so severely chapped and red?"

and you get mad so you take away kiss privileges so she does the only reasonable thing which is putting you in a headlock to force kiss you

would definitely immediately put it on and go look in the mirror at her with it on. she'll start geeking and thank you and all that jazz

she would wear that shit 24/7. sleeping working showering shitting ANYWHERE best believe she has that hoodie on. and you tell her its been like 2 weeks of her wearing it nonstop so she needs to wash it but she refuses bc she doesn't want the kisses to start fading. u wash it anyway bc its dirty and she cold shoulders you for about 30 mins before she sees some dumb reel she just has to show you (me fr).

i feel like she's a hot sleeper--like she gets too hot at night to wear the hoodie but she still wants it so she'll just hold it as a baby blanket of sorts and Whatnot.

wait very unrelated but does anyone have a baby blanket that they've had for so long its like basically just threads thats so funny

but overall she loves it. she likes to kiss the kiss prints you made on the sweatshirt bc it's "like kissing you."

there was one time she couldn't find it for like 2 days (because you'd washed it since she never does) and she tried to act all nonchalant and unaffected like she wasn't about to start tweaking and like twitching

then you gave it to her all calm because it was literally just in the wash and she was like "what😨😨😨 where did you find it😨😨😨" and you just tell her it was in the wash and shes like "oh that makes sense"

pls im so sorry. before i say anything i would like to formally apologize to the anon who submitted the ask for this bc this is so shit. you ask me for a product and this is how i repay you!! shame on me. please dilly dally on over to my asks and ask me something else so i can actually, i don't know, do a good job!! this ask was cute tho u ate with that

@picklesarenice69

wow i very strongly dislike this format so much this is the first and last time i will be doing this!!! i’m only posting this bc its been like a week since i last posted and the citizens will soon revolt, which the city's defenses cannot afford!! we're about to run out of wheat like times are getting tough. maybe i should just try just headcanons 🤔

can you tell i was fighting demons to not make this my normal vocab and format. like just look at this sentence and how it progresses: "when she finally comes in, she throws her keys on the table near the door and toes her dusty, disintegrating, been-to-bethlehem-and-back converse, bc have you seen them." the way that sentence progresses is just the silly demons taking over and also my coping mechanism for grimacing at how much i didnt mesh with this format

like i just couldnt take myself seriously. "yes of course do you like it queen" HELLO??? WHY DID I TYPE THAT but i will not be fixing and/or deleting it bc its making me giggle

dont get me wrong some of you ladies chew it up but i am made for unreasonably long and time consuming fics!!! i’m getting heated too bc not only is this so short and quick to do but it also takes less focus and brain power and ofc i had to make things hard for myself and hate it!!! i’m soooooooooooo silly

click here!! oh and here too!! ˶ᵔᵕᵔ˶

---

edit: wait i would like to clarify that i just hate this because perhaps i’m not used to it. if you guys like this maybe i'll do more bc i follow the clout always 💯

[romanreignsbae]

Forbidden Desires - Chapter 1

R.R

Y/n was always what everyone considered blessed. Now, being the assistant for the tribal chief had it’s perks. For starters, you rode around in his luxurious bus, that only few people were allowed on.

You also, were granted with being able to fly on private jets to get from place to place, as well as exquisite hotel rooms booked and paid for.

Especially your schedule. Roman Reigns wasn't showing up to every pay per view. Not even every Friday night SmackDown. He made appearances when he felt like it. So you were usually home, that didn't mean you were off work, you had other things to handle.

Many people wanted to be you, or at least wanted your job. While these people we’re wanting your job and status, you were wanting the man you worked for, your boss, none other then Roman Reigns.

You’d been working for him for almost 4 years now. Ever since he pursued his heel character, you’d been hired as his assistant. Being his assistant wasn’t nearly as bad as you thought. You thought he’d order you around to do his dirty work, but working for him was nicer then excepted.

All you really did was keep track of his hectic schedule, pack his luggage for him, and follow him around during meetings and travels...even taking care of something he claimed to be more important then work. And not to mention the money was a plus. He paid you better then you deserved, you swore it was favouritism, for obvious reasons.

Over the years you worked for him, you two created a special bond. Yes, he was your boss. But, he was also your friend. You two would often spend time together even during non work related times. You could find the both of you at a bar together. Or having movie nights in each other’s hotel rooms. You loved it. And maybe loved him..

The only problem in your way was the age gap you two shared. You were in your early twenties whereas Roman was on the verge of 40. The age gap wasn’t even a big deal to you. But, if others found out you’d grown feelings for your boss. All hell would break loose. See, Roman, is extraordinarily popular with females.

Like seriously, he has some die hard female fans. Most around your age. If anyone found out about this little crush you’d developed..well..you’d for starters be fired, and your reputation would be completely destroyed.

So here you are, sitting in the tribal chief’s private jet, waiting to land in Las Vegas. “Alright, only about a hour to go” a familiar deep voice spoke. You looked up to see Roman sitting comfortably in his seat, staring intently at you. “Yeah..” you mumbled.

“Whats up with you? You been like this all flight, completely out of it. What’s wrong are you sick? Do you have a fever? The flu? Is- nevermind..” Roman spoke worried. “No no, im good” you spoke as reassuringly as you could. He looked at you skeptically before closing his Macbook and making his way to sit beside you.

He sat beside you and looked at you for a few seconds before speaking up. “What’s planned for today?” he asked you. You quickly opened your Ipad before checking his schedule. “Well..today your free, tomorrow you have a meeting in the afternoon, its a long one” you told him.

“Damn, I hate the long meetings” he spoke with a smile. “They are the worst” you agreed grinning. “Anyways, since i’m free today, why don’t you and I head out, go do something fun together, away from work..you know after we get settled in..” he spoke almost nervously.

You were surprised to say the least. You didn’t think he would wanna spend his free day with you. “Yeah sure. What do you wanna do?” you asked him while trying to hide your growing smile. “Anything you want. Actually you know what? Lemme take you shopping, Las Vegas is known for their malls” he requested with a wink. Your cheeks started heating up.

“Sure” you spoke softly. He smiled at you before striking up new conversation about some investors looking to partner with WWE. It kept yourself distracted from the mess in your mind. Before you knew it, you landed in Las Vegas, and your uber was here to take you and Roman to the hotel.

Once you arrived to your hotel, you and Roman headed to the front desk to get the keys to your rooms.

“I’m sorry sir but, only one room has been booked-” the hotel worker spoke.

“That cant be! You don’t understand, I called yesterday booking two rooms!” Roman spoke roughly at the worker. Your feelings were hurt to say the least. You didn’t think he’d be this avoidant at sharing a room with you, especially after the favor you did him. You instantly felt your heart swelling and tears coming to your eyes.

You refused to cry over this so you grabbed Roman’s arm. “I’m gonna head to the bathroom, i’ll be right back” you spoke softly. Roman slightly nodded his head before going back to barking at the hotel employee.

You took as long as you could trying to get yourself together in the bathroom. You had just arrived is Les Vegas and he was already making you feel like shit. You didn’t even understand what the problem was. Well, deep down you did...you knew he didn't wanna make the same mistake.

You made your way back to the lobby to see a more calm and quiet Roman standing by the elevators.

“So Y/n..they are all booked and it looks like me and you are roommates for the next few nights” he told me. “I’m really sorry..” he added ashamed.

Your eyes widened. Why was he sorry? He didn’t even do anything. Well apart side from almost making you cry, but thats besides the point.

“Roman..why are you sorry? It’s just a room..no biggie” you spoke, plus it's not like you haven't shared one before.

“Because well, I don’t want you to feel like i’m taking advantage of you..and I don’t wanna make things awkward and weird between us..” he went on nervously.

You both knew he was lying straight through his teeth. That wasn't the real reason.

You took his words in before responding. You reached out and touched his arm reassuringly. “Ro, that’s okay, seriously I don’t mind.” you let him know. You'd be careful this time. He smiled at you almost gratefully knowing you understood.

The hotel room the two of you would be sharing was nothing less then absolutely luxurious. But you weren't surprised, the tribal chief always needed the best.

After the two of you settled into your hotel room, Roman called for an Uber to take you two to the mall. Inside the uber Roman and you made small talk back and forth but no one could deny the elephant in the room.

A little secret the two of you shared was up in the air. Something no one could know about...otherwise everything would be ruined. He warned you, if anyone found out what the two of you shared, it was over.

Everything was.

That was the first chapter of forbidden desires that I've been putting off. I have a lot more sitting in my drafts for you guys that'll be out soon. Also what do you think the little secret is? Let me know what you think of this chapter.

[vivi4nn4]

Okayy soo, can i request obey me brothers Cuddel Hcs? :33

Ofcc you can my lovely I hope you like it ˆ𐃷ˆ

𐙚₊˚⊹ᡣ𐭩 Obey me brothers cuddle headcannons

✧˖ lucifer

— lucifer loves being big spoon he enjoys the comfort of wrapping his arms around you after a long day

— he’s very quiet while yous cuddle he just likes to relax in silence with soft hum of music in the background

— some days you n him will have a little singsong or some small talk but most days he just likes the quietness of being around you

— lucifer doesn’t make free time for cuddles so the only time yous do is before or during bedtime

✧˖ mammon

— mammon loves crazy type of positions when cuddling

— it’ll be him laying on you , you laying on him , cuddling face to face every one of them he just loves hugging you

— he’ll want to cuddle all the time when he’s not up to mischief or some crazy plot

— mammon absolutely adores laying in his/your room he’s such a big baby he just craves your attention so badly

— overall he’s just a big cuddle bug

✧˖ leviathan

— you’ll have to warm leviathan up to the idea of cuddling he craves your touch yet he is scared n shy to accept it

— once you warm leviathan up to the idea he will never let you go

— you n him playing video games? He’s cuddling you. taking a nap together? He’s cuddling you ect

— he likes when you sit on his lap when he’s playing games he also enjoys just laying in his tub n cuddling with you falling asleep

✧˖ satan

— satan absolutely adores when yous sit n read n cuddle

— sitting up with you cuddling into him his arm around you while holding the book just quietly reading

— like his father he enjoys just sitting in silence sometimes while cuddling

— he enjoys your head buried into his neck while you wrap your arms around him n he’s got one hand on your back n another on your hair playing with the soft locks

— satan also loves cuddling on the couch watching your favourite series or movies

✧˖ asmodeus

— asmodeus loves when yous cuddle in bed after he does his n your skin care

— you n asmodeus cuddle the most out of the brother he is definitely the most touchiest

— after a long day at RAD just soft cuddles n giggles in bed fix everything for you n him

— asmodeus definitely loves loves loves cuddling into your chest while you play with his hair n kiss his head

✧˖ beelzbub

— beelzbub loves when yous cuddle while watching a movie n eating snacks or food he had brought to his room from the kitchen

— he is definitely does enjoy when you lie on him with your head on his chest his arms wrapped around you

— beelzbub also enjoys sitting up cuddling he enjoys just the comfort of you sitting on his lap n him having one arm wrapped around you

✧˖ belphegor

— belphegor absolutely loves napping with you while cuddling

— most people who expect him to be the most cuddlest but sometimes belphegor likes to be alone in bed with just you n him lying next to each other

— as we can tell belphegor is also easily to anger like lucifer n Satan , he gets easily irritated after he hasn’t seen you for a while these are one of the days he absolutely needs to cuddle you to sleep

— like asmodeus he loves lying on your chest while you play with his hair also he adores being the little spoon

I wrote this in one sitting n In less then 40 mins I Urm apologise if it is bad.

˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

[smooth-perceval]

A holiday promise.

Lando Norris x Fem!Reader

Summary: it was Christmas time- unfortunately for the reader she wasn’t feeling the spirit when her boyfriend was being distant, little did she know he had a promise for her.

Warnings: Fluff, swearing? Some self doubt. Implied smut at the end but no smut included!

Key: Y/N (Your name) Y/L/N (Your Last name)

Word count: 1094

A/N: The longest I have written (for 12 day count down) andddd we’re posting 40 mins earlier so technically I posted a day early but we won’t discuss that 🥲

Lando had been different lately, I don’t know what I done- but it’s like he didn’t want to be around me… or he had a secret he was keeping from me.

And like any girl I doubted myself- and maybe him a little… there was days that he was my lando and there was days where I didn’t even know he existed.

—

The days were rounding closer, and closer to Christmas Day, and I clasped onto the fine strings of my heart that this guy would stay around at least for Christmas…

I mean we share the same apartment but yet felt like two strangers… and I miss him- today I declared I was sitting my lando down and getting our shit together- today was the make or break.

Taking a deep breath I braced myself for the conversation ahead of me. Stepping into our apartment I kicked my shoes off and tugged my coat along with it. “Lan you home?”

Silence… until I heard a little thud from down the hall. Signalling he was but just ignoring me.

“Lan… if you scare me… I swear to the heavens I will leave your ass quicker than a McLaren pit stop!” Shoulders tensed I round the corner, pausing in my step.

“Lan?” Eyes trailing over the fake snow along our hallway floor. “Did you decorate without me?!” A gasp falling off my lips, I practically stomped down the hallway.

“You promised you wouldn’t!!”

“I hate talking to myself right now.”

“Lando Norris we need to-”

There he stood infront of the tall glass balcony doors, candles surrounding the entire lounge, the fake snow scattered around on the floor… clearly he ran out of snow half way through but it still looked magical, a mixture of the moon and the candles bouncing off his face. He looked pretty.

“Need to what?” A teasing smile was on his face, and I finally took in his appearance.

A plain black top and some joggers, pure white socks (with a lot of fake snow stuck to him but we won’t talk about that) and a small velvet box in hand.

“Needed to talk… what is going on- is this what I think this is?” My eyes welled with tears as I stood in the doorway slightly.

4 meters away from him and out of touch.

“What do you think this is?” My hand clasped over my mouth as I violently shook my head. “Words, use your words bubs.”

Silent tears fell on my cheeks as my hands slid down soothing my churning stomach. “You want to get married?” Whispering over to him, I embraced my arms around myself trying to stop the excitement and butterflies.

“Once I ask you then yes.” Laughing a little he nudged his head signalling for me to come over.

But I couldn’t move I was stuck in place. The only thing I could do was ball like a baby, Lando rushed over having a little giggle to himself wiping away my tears with his thumbs as best as possible, “hey, hey… it’s okay-” tilting my head back slightly, his eyes board into mine before dropping to one knee.

“Oh my-” sniffling I looked up at the ceiling before finding the courage to looked down at him, body still shaking like a leaf.

“You always said you didn’t want some huge proposal… said you preferred it being more intimate, nothing out the crazy- just two people declaring their love for one and another.” Nodding my head to everything he was saying I felt myself laugh a little. “You’re not the guy to do some huge proposal anyways.”

“Do you want me to ask you orrr?” A teasing smile crept back to his face, voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Please ask me.”

After a brief pause, us both stopping the little giggles, he then took another deep breath before continuing. “Well here I am, down on one knee declaring to love and care for you for as long as you want me, hopefully till death do us part.” Laughing again a little he then shuffled slightly on his knee.

A choked laugh left my lips- but I couldn’t control myself from being a blubbering mess, sinking down to my knees infront of him, gripping his kneeled knee for security and support. “Y/N Y/L/N will you marry me?” And I froze once again.

Just staring at the man I love… this was all the reasons why for the last few months- it was all leading to this… I thought he’d leave me before Christmas… but yet here he was asking to love me.

“You really want to marry me?” Smiling at him, I squeezed his knee holding back another weep.

“It would be my honour.”

“Then yes Lando Norris, I will marry you.”

His eyes widen slightly, it took him a moment to realise what answer I had given. Before he sprung into action. I say sprung, we both watched his shaky hands take the beautiful ring out, before taking my hand in his and placing it on my finger. And only then did it feel real- it was a weird sensation, once that ring was on my finger it was like a wave of relief, love, security- everything washed over me.

In a split second his lips were on mine, eager yet tender- urgent yet full of love… business men share handshakes to secure a deal- lovers share sweet kisses to secure theirs, it was a sealed deal between me and Lando- for better for worse, till death do us part.

“I thought you were going to leave me…” mumbling against his lips, a little smile playing on mine.

“How could I ever.”

“I’ve been asking myself that continuously the past month, I didn’t believe you would.” Whispering feverishly lips now barely brushing as we pulled away. Leaning back we both basked in each others presence.

“Oh my camera!” Jumping up he quickly ran across the room, kicking snow everywhere.

“You recorded this?” A wide smile was on my face as I started to get up off the floor.

“Max didn’t believe I’d do it. I now have proof.”

Rolling my eyes I moved over to him as he toyed with the camera in hand. “Remind me why I said yes.”

“I can show you instead…” wiggling his brows at me I shook my head giggling.

“Please leave the camera in this room-” laughing also he set the camera down wrapping me up in his arms before whisking me away- sealing our holiday promise another way.

[jkmyluv]

THE DATE || JJK

Pairing : Boxer jk × Female reader

Genre : Established relationship, Boxer au

Summary : Spending the whole day going on various dates with your boyfriend, starting from amusement parks to trying sushi for the first time with your boyfriend.

Warnings : Female reader, Butt taps, KISSES, a few suggestive comments but no actual smut, making out, shy reader and jk, Reader hates sushi (sorry if u don't lmao), cringe couple shit.

The bright light shines down on your and your boyfriends face as you struggle to get into your boyfriends car. "Need help getting your cute ass in there?" He asks causing you to groan, "Its all your fault jeon, shut up" you speak up glaring at him.

He feigns innocence and teasingly replies while holding his chest pretending to be hurt, "baby it was not me who was whining yesterday night to go faster"

"Its not my fault my boyfriend doesn't know how to fuck properly that I have to beg him to do the bare minimum" you look up at him with a teasing glint but immediately regret it when you see his dark gaze.

"And thats why you squirted three times yesterday, was yesterday not enough brat?", causing you to immediately smile and peck his cheek,

"I'm just kidddinngggg jungkook, don't be mean and start the car, I wanna go ride all the rides and don't be scared ill protect you",

causing jungkook to scoff, "Lets see whose the one who ends up crying like a baby". The car ride is pretty silent except for jungkook singing and cursing at people for not driving properly.

"You're so handsome" causing jungkook to look away from you and blush "get down baby we're here"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here you were standing in the line for about 40 mins to get on the ferris wheel, because according to jungkook its very romantic, "jungkook i can't do it please, its so hot i can't even stand" you say while taking heavy breathes causing jungkook to look at you while rasing his eyebrows, his hands grip your waist and pulls you closer, " If u wanted me to carry you so badly, all u could've done is asked instead of whining" he smirks and abruptly lifts you up causing you to yell at him.

"Jungkook are you dumb, put me down there are kids here, put me down you idi-mmph"

You feel jungkooks lip press onto yours harshly and his hands grip you tightly in his arms, you start feeling all giddy inside until u feel him pull away and lick a stripe up your cheeks. "JUNGKOOK YOU'RE DISGUSTING"

Jungkook puts you down and back hugs you so that you won't be able to hit him, "baby thats just how I show i love you, and u smelled so good" causing you to admit your Defeat.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sun starts setting down and jungkook decides that its time to picnic in the park,so you and you're beloved boxer boyfriend sit on the mat that you layed out.

You both were lying on your stomach and facing each other, jungkook had one of his hands on your hips holding your long flowy skirt down, and your hands were caressing his eyebrows, eyes, his scar, his lips, as you lean to Peck his lips.

"Did I tell you, you look really pretty today and the skirt looks really good on you"

"You did" , "nothing wrong with saying it again, you're so pretty, the prettiest and the cutest, even though we argue like kids sometimes, but that's something I wouldn't change for the world." This makes you tear up a but as jungkook was never really someone who spoke his feelings, you push his chest and make him lay on his back and lay on top of him with only your lower body on the mat and your upper bodies pressed together, you start pecking all over his face and whisper lovingly " i love you so much jungkook, you're so cute, the cutest cutie pie"

causing jungkook to groan, "I'm not cute baby, way to ruin the moment" causing you to giggle, "just like how your hard on is ruining the moment by poking my stomach, can't even be romantic with my boyfriend" you huff and lay down on your side facing away from him pretending to be mad.

Jungkook pinches your hips, "cmon turn around" and you don't.

But jungkook takes this as a perfect opportunity to hit your butt, the sound of his hands hitting your butt echoes through your ears as you yelp and bring your hands to cover your rear. "Stop that jeon, it hurts" making jungkook coo and rub your butt and he proceeds to pat it, " there you go all better or do u want me to kiss it better?"

"Talk to me when your hard on is gone", you say.

Jungkook sighs and lifts your head and slides it onto his arm, as a pillow and hugs your waist from behind. "What are you doing" , "spooning my baby, what can I do when my girlfriends being all cute and sexy, ofcourse I'm gonna get hard" you blush as you feel his hard on on your back.

You turn around in his arm and wrap your arms around his neck, making him wrap his arms around your waist, you both smile at each other and you slowly inch closer, you feel his breath on you're lips and you pull him closer and press your lips on his, his hands immediately grip you tighter and pull you closer causing you to whimper. Jungkook groans at that and pushes his tounge inside your mouth roughly and grips your chin to pull you even more closer, making you pull away from the absence of air, whimpering. But you have no time to catch your breath as a pair of lips proceeds to press itself on your lips and jungkooks hand pulls you even more closer, you try pushing him away by his chest, but he doesn't even budge.

"I c-cant breathe m-mphh* resulting in jungkook to finally pull away and giggle.

All this loving peace lasts for a moment until we see an old couple walking up to us yelling about public indecency causing you to freak out and get up and trying to make jungkook get up, "jungkook come on let's run", "baby tf are they gonna do, let them fucking come ill take care of them, don't be scared"

"JUNGKOOK IF YOU DONT GET UP RIGHT NOW I SWEAR IM GONNA CRY" this threat results in jungkook complying as you both hold each others hands and make a run for it as the old couples curses slowly dissappear into thin air and the only thing that's audible is the laughter that vibrates off of your chest, and the pure love you have for each other, at this moment you silently look up at jungkook and admire him and you realize how lucky you are to have a man like him.

"Stop looking at me like that if you don't want me to eat you", "you know what I'm hungry jungkook". After a back and forth argument of where to eat, you both decide to eat at this sushi place, as you told you're boyfriend you've never had sushi.

"Come on baby order anything you want, I'll pay" causing you to giggle "ofc sugar daddy"

"I can be your daddy if you like"

"JUNGKOOK", "I'm sorry"

You regret this, you can't eat it, you feel like throwing up, "it tastes so bad, how do people eat this?" Causing jungkook to act like he was offended "how dare you say that to my baby, she tastes so good, baby you don't have to eat it, order something else If you want"

That night when you had food poisoning, jungkook was the one who held your hair back when you threw up, he was the one who made sure you fell asleep with no discomfort, he made sure to stay awake to ensure you don't wake up in the middle of the night due to discomfort, he was the one who made sure you were warm and comfortable, he was the one who loved you, he was the one who put up with your tantrums, he was the one who let's you cuddle him every night even though he pretends to hate it, he is the one who always offers a shoulder to cry on or put your legs on.

[spaceagebachelormann]

MARS CAN I HAVE HCS FOR DOING UR MAKEUP WITH THE DUCKS <333333

PLSPSLOSLSLSLSÑSLSPSLSÑSLÑSJSLDLSJSKS ILYSM KSBDND

doing ur makeup with the ducks !

✧ warnings: none!

✧ characters included: charlie conway, adam banks, lester averman, fulton reed, connie moreau, guy germaine, julie gaffney, ken wu, dean portman, luis mendoza, dwayne robertson

✧ additional info: can be read as romantic or platonic! readers gender isn’t explicitly specified but is supposed to be fem

✧ m.list — nav.

ೃ༄ charlie conway

he’s. very interesting about it

he’ll mainly just sit and watch cause he doesn’t know what else to do but will ask questions

“omg what’s this” and it’s probably mascara

even though he’s a guy u would think he knows that

he’s not mean about it or anything, he actually asks a lot of questions because he’s genuinely interested

ೃ༄ adam banks

i have a hc he has an older sister so he actually knows what a lot of the bottles are

he’d let u test lipsticks on his arm <3

and if u wanted his honest opinion on how ur makeup looks he may or may not be able to give it 😭 but if he thinks it looks bad he’ll hesitate for like 5 mins before finally saying “you look a little crazy.. i’m sorry”

and he’d let u put some on him for funsies

ೃ༄ lester averman

he’d talk non stop the whole time u do ur makeup

it’s like 40% questions and 60% random nonsense

it’s entertaining though because he knows all the gossip and has fun facts that are actually terrifying

he’d wanna try to put makeup on u but u don’t let him cause he’ll fuck up 💕

and if u get up to go to the bathroom or just to get something u come back and bro looks like a clown

ೃ༄ fulton reed

despite the fact he’s very silly and chaotic and always has something to start yelling about he actually likes the peacefulness of when ur doing ur makeup

it’s like a little free period for him cause he can get hw done, sleep, just sit there and talk normally, etc

ofc cause he’s a Teenage Boy he’d probably make fun of u a little but he’s overall amazed by the process and how long a full face takes

and also would ask u to tell him whatever gossip yk and his responses are so funny

“so yk chelsea?—” “OHH THE ONE WHO GOT PREGNANT??? YEAHHH” “apparently the dad is j-“ “JAKE??? I FUCKING KNEW IT.”

ೃ༄ connie moreau

i feel like she’s one of those girls who only wears like mascara and lipgloss (not cause she’s a pick me but because she doesn’t know how to do anything else)

will ask u to do hers for her! and teach her how to do stuff like blush and eyeliner since she doesn’t know how but rlly wants to learn

and she also compliments ur makeup every 2 mins

“omgg u look gorgeous!” “connie babes i haven’t even put anything on yet” “and? <3”

ೃ༄ guy germaine

says things like “you look so pretty” or “that looks so cool? omg?” every 2 seconds

he genuinely thinks ur the greatest at doing makeup

and he also let’s u test lipsticks on his arm

i feel like he’d ask u to put eyeliner on him just cause he wants to see what it looks like on him <3

also his hands are probably really steady for some reason?? so if u have shaky hands hed help u put stuff on

ೃ༄ julie gaffney

100% curls ur lashes for u if ur also terrified of the lash curler

does hers with u even though she doesn’t rlly use concealer and foundation and skin stuff cause she washes her face every day <3

but she’d know how to use literally everything and is fucking amazing at it and can help u with whatever u want

would ask u to help her choose colours if she decides to have colourful eyeshadow

let’s u paint her nails <3

ೃ༄ ken wu

i’m ngl he probably just sits there and watches

probably uses the time to just talk about whatever

and if y’all have classes together he asks for help with hw 😭

“so what’s number 4 again??” “oh it’s 13 over 6” “ty!!”

he’d also start organizing ur makeup for funsies and brings u snacks and water if he gets bored

ೃ༄ dean portman

will look through literally all ur makeup for funsies

and also asks a shit ton of questions

would probably say “that’s so girly 😹🫵” as a joke but he’s actually rlly intrigued and likes watching u do it

hands u whatever u need but u probably have to explain it to him and he grabs it at the last second to be a bitch

“can u hand me the lash curler?” “the what” “that curvy thing that looks like a little science tool” “wtf r u talking about” “oh my god let me—“ “OHHH U MEAN THIS”

sometimes he actually has no idea wtf u mean though

ೃ༄ luis mendoza

knows what everything is cause as we all know this MAN WHORE has had like 400 gfs

would suggest different lip colours to do

will 100% rizz u up while ur putting on lip gloss or lipstick

“i like that colour, u should kiss me so we can both have it” “that wasn’t smooth at all”

he also makes jokes like the little comedian he is (compares random people to random shit)

ೃ༄ dwayne robertson

he’s like adam but more talkative

would try to guess what everything is used for and like very rarely gets it right

but when he does he gets so excited

he’d do ur hair while u do ur makeup so u don’t have to after

WOULD PLAY COUNTRY MUSIC IN THE BG.

[killxio]

bluecollar!reiner headcannons

word count: 725 [ 2 min 40 sec read] | ✪ content warnings: smut, kitchen sex, blue collar men :/ but a good one, p in v sex in general, fingering.. uhhh

bluecollar!reiner x black!reader / constructionworker!reiner x black!reader

✭ you and your blonde-headed personal bob the builder

bluecollar!reiner who does construction and pools.

bluecollar!reiner who sleeps like a LOG. like, has rolled over ontop of you on multiple instances and it’s taken having to literally slap him to wake him up.

bluecollar!reiner who absolutely throws down at cookouts and get togethers, you and your friends and family are just so good in the kitchen and babyboy needs to EAT.

bluecollar!reiner who works so hard because his favorite view of you is on a beach, or poolside at a fancy resort taking his cock in a risky, barely covered blind spot.

bluecollar!reiner who, 8/10 times cannot sleep without your manicured fingers scrubbing at his scalp or smooth palms scanning over his body and rubbing soothing circles.

bluecollar!reiner who sometimes brings you small bouquets if the landscape of the construction site he’s on has some pretty ones for the taking.

bluecollar!reiner who saved the petals from those flowers and proposed to you surrounded by them.

bluecollar!reiner who walks so hard for literally no reason. :/ like, he comes home late after pushing through the end of his customers pool build and i stg you think the rapture is occurring. it took you a few months of dating to get used to the fe-fi-fo-fum ass walking he does but even sometimes he still manages to wake you up.

reiner finally emerges in the bedroom after putting away his lunch box and heavy work boots to see his poor poor fiancé glaring at him from underneath a pillow.

“i woke ya’ didn’t i?”

“yes mister braun. you did.😐”

bluecollar!reiner who does that thing in the gym where he uses you as a weight for his pull ups sometimes. your lock screen is a photo of you smiling as reiner is doing a pull-up and you can see his abs on full display overhead.

bluecollar!reiner who looks forward to the massages you give him every night, working out the knots in his shoulder blades, soothing the aches in his biceps..

bluecollar!reiner who thanks you for the massages by doing you one better:

the plat plat plat of his dick sliding in and out of you resonates through the room, and your back is arching off the wall. reiner was supposed to be carrying you back to bed after a show and a massage on the couch, but here you are only halfway down the hall and coating his dick in cream.

“please please kiss me” you plead, feeling the knot in your stomach tighten and swell.

he huffs a little and between your deep kisses you can feel the stubble of his beard.

“reiiiii ‘m gonna cummmm” you whine, looking at him with that hazy glint in your eyes as you release on him.

“good girl, so so good for me doll.”

bluecollar!reiner who’s socials are empty besides a few photos of you or you and him and MAYBE a selfie.

bluecollar!reiner who you send video rants to throughout the day to keep him company while he works. he responds with videos of his own if he can.

you open the video reiner sent twenty minutes ago.

he’s propped his phone up on the back of his truck, his work shirt is absolutely covered in wet cement so as he’s responding to whatever you said in your previous video, he’s taking off his shirt and putting on a new one.

“.. oh yeah and lunch was amazing. not burnt or overcooked. thank you princess.”

his video ends after a quick wink and pop of his gum. meanwhile, you’re thinking about the way reiner was far from concerned about his lunch while you were trying to make it. he had you bent over the counter, knuckle deep in your cunt and tongue circling your clit. reiner wasn’t focused on anything besides the way your wetness was dripping down his arm, but you’re busy struggling to keep tell him about the food on the stove.

“r-rei baby.. i have- fuck.. i have your lunch for t-tomorrow- ah.. on the stoveee.”

“uh-huh.. god this pussy is so fucking delicious.” he says, only coming up for air for a brief second and continuing to ravage you.

bluecollar!reiner who has a photo of you on the dashboard of his work truck.

bluecollar!reiner who loves letting you ride him slow while he talks over the plans and spreadsheets for the next big project he has.

bluecollar!reiner who loves you to the moon and back and will build anything for you.

[study-diaries]

Math Tips

(Pictures are not mine)

Well, let me tell you, we all have this love-hate relationship with this subject, right? The worst part is that when you don't know what the heck is going on, so, as a girl who studied maths (2 Volumes/textbooks) on her own during the year she was homeschooled, here are some tips and tricks that I did to get an A+ in my math finals!

Get your syllabus together

In the beginning I had no damn idea what was going on and it was just confusing. I had to do the first thing I did was taken my index/table of contents and mark the chapters which i knew very well and the ones I had no clue about. And then i arranged them with the marking scheme, like which one carries the most marks etc etc and study accordingly.

Complete lessons/chapters that you already know

When you finish off the things you already know then that's gonna give you the confidence you need even if you know only 1-2 chapters, learn it throughout and make sure that you'll get the answer no matter how twisted the sum is. If you're doubtful about the whole textbook like any normal person.... Start with the easy ones. (I know there are literally really no "easy" chapters, spare me)

Harder chapters need hard work

Most chapters like Trigonometry proofs, Geometry proofs, Algebra, Graphs, Mensuration and Calculus etc need more than minimum effort but here's a trick, what is the common thing in this? Yes, they're all formulae and theorem based which goes to my next point. These chapters are completely based on how much you've understood your basics.

Formulae and theorem cheatsheets

Make a list of all formulae and the theorem used in the book, write them chapter wise and no printouts or digital notes. Take a paper and write it down, no excuses. It helps you while you're practicing, revising and in the last minute review, it helped me damn much. Remember, maths is a sport. The basic formulae must come to you like reflexes.

YouTube is your best friend.

For every single chapter, go and watch the basics and how a sum is done step by step. A recommendation for this is Organic Chemistry Tutor who literally is one of the reasons i passed. He has videos from basic geometry, trigonometry, statistics to calculus. Search for your own YouTubers and be clear with concepts.

Math is fully memorization

Memorize formulae and theorems with the back of your hand, you should be able to recall them within seconds. Be thorough.

Memorize basic math values (if calculator isn't allowed)

Do this if you have a majority of chapters like Statistics, Mensuration, Profit/loss calculation etc, where large numbers are concerned. Memorize the first 10 square, cube, decimal and multiplication values. It may be dry but there are literally songs available for these things, I'm serious, i learnt the first 10 cube roots by listening to Senorita xD Search for rhymes and they'll definitely be many!!

Work it out!!!!!!

Can't stress this enough, atleast 30-40 mins is the minimum for maths. I'm serious, work out each sum, don't ever think it's a waste, you'll see the results. Practice makes perfect. Work out every single sum, from examples to exercise ones cause let's be honest, our examiners love to take problems from every nook and cranny of the book.

Whiteboard method

So, I made this up and it actually works, if you have a whiteboard or anything else, once you completed a chapter, take a random page and whatever sums you have on those two pages, you need to complete within a given time limit. It helps you to identify your weak points and where the hell you're losing both time and effort and not to mention that it gives you confidence boost up.

Hope this helps :))

[physics-of-one-piece]

Doflamingo's Day Trip to Punk Hazard

Clear the way. The King of Dressrosa is leaving the royal palace in a flair of absolute style for urgent business on Punk Hazard.

Better hold onto his coat for dear life, because this man is FAST. I recommend wrapping your arms around his neck, I would not trust that coat regardless of how it sticks to him. His arms aren’t in his sleeves, that is a death game I do not want to play. So, arms around his neck. Take a nice little inhale of his royal cologne probably worth more than your civilian life if you’re feeling brave. Maybe nuzzle into him, get comfy, you know. It’s gonna be a trip. You won't have the time to breathe. At least the view will be nice, both at the sea and the... Pilot.

Okay. Ready? (Dear God, look at the size of his shadow, holy hell)

Go!

AND HE’S OFF!

Welcome to Doffy's Physics Lab. Let’s calculate how fast Doflamingo flew from Dressrosa to Punk Hazard.

Things to note:

1) The One Piece world is much bigger than Earth. It’s not possible to calculate how big it is. 100 times big is too big, two times big is too small, but Oda put the bottom of the sea at 10km, which is the same as the depth of the Earth’s sea. See the confusion?

2) Law slowed him down by giving him the ultimatum and taking Buffalo & Baby 5 hostage and no clouds.

First, we need the distance.

We can calculate the distance from Punk Hazard to Dressrosa using the SAD tanker. It’s mentioned in the manga it takes a day to reach Dressrosa by ship from Punk Hazard, so that’s 24 hours. A cargo ship goes 25 knots per hour. 

nautical miles = 25 knots • 24 hours

= 600 nautical miles

We need to turn them into kilometers. 

1 nautical mile = 1.852 kilometers

kilometers = 600 • 1.852 kilometers = 1111,2 km ~ 1111 km

Keep in mind, the One Piece world is bigger than ours. This can be considered a short distance for them, but long distance for us. For real life example, London and Berlin are 1,100 km away from each other. The flight takes 1 hour 40 minutes by plane.

Next, we need time. Some people will hate that I use anime time, but for Punk Hazard, it isn't that big of a stretch to use it as a guide. Also, the fact the Straw Hats had a party and ate makes me think there was no way they were at the coast for a full hour before setting sail. Nuh-uh. They'd be sliced if they had stayed that long. But I'm also aware real-time probably happened faster such as a fight, so we're gonna cut the time of the ep where Nami & Usopp beat Baby 5 & Buffalo in half.

Doflamingo set off to Dressrosa at Ep 620, landed on PH in Ep 624. If we go and calculate when he made it to Punk Hazard by making it 18 minutes for each ep (counting 11 mins of 624, half-cutting 621, and counting only last minute of 620), it would be under an hour. That’s already awesome. He’s one of the fastest fliers in the series.

Let’s first focus on those 2 last minutes of Episode 620. 

At 21:25, he leaves the royal palace. At 22:23, he is already over the sea. That’s 58 seconds it takes him to cross over Dressrosa. Thankfully, the fandom did the size of Dressrosa already. 

The diameter of Dressrosa is 50 kilometers. The area is 1,960km². 

That is not even the size of Madrid (Madrid is smaller). So, he’d fly across Madrid like NOTHING.

To put Dressrosa as a comparison with the real world, it is the size of Kuiu, an island in Alaska in United States.

Here it is. It’s a shame Kuiu is so thin, but the length isn’t a bad thing to have. That’s what we need. Length.

Okay, the royal palace is at the center of Dressrosa. That means we go 50÷2 to get the radius.

That’s 25 km. Not meters. Kilometers. 

Okay, so, I mentioned Madrid. Do you all want to know the  area and diameter of Madrid, the capital of Spain, the biggest city in Spain? 

😁😁

It’s 606 km². The diameter is 27 km. The radius is 13.5 km. He’d cross all over Madrid within 30 seconds maybe.

🙂🙂

(Screams)

Haha. Ha. 

If anyone wants to know, Dressrosa is, thankfully, NOT bigger than Spain. Spain is 500 times bigger than Dressrosa. 

All right, let’s calculate how fast Doflamingo is moving to get from Dressrosa and already be out at sea within 58 seconds. We’ll add about a kilometer so the sea is the only thing beneath him as shown in the anime.

We’re using the simplest formula here.

speed = distance/time

We’ll put distance into meters because we have seconds here, not hours.

26 km = 26,000 m

speed = 26,000 m/58 seconds

speed = 448,27 m/s (1470 feet/s)

Let’s convert it to km/h

448,27 m/s • 3.6 = 1614 km/h (1002 mph)

Hahaha, holy FUCKING SHIT. That's jet speed.

I TOLD YOU, HANG ONTO THAT COAT FOR DEAR LIFE, I TOLD YOU.

Dressrosa to Sea = 1614 km/h (1002 mph)

Okay, he broke the sound barrier. If anyone wants to know, you break the sound barrier after your speed passes 1239 km/h (770 mph).

He covers 26 km within 58 seconds at 1614 km/h speed. He covers 448 meters per second. He is moving at jet speed here.

Okay, now comes the Sea to Punk Hazard. Doflamingo has cleared 26 km of the 1111 km so that leaves him with 1085 km to cross.

Here are the minutes. We now won’t count the 2 minutes from 620 because he passed that area.

9(split in half bcs of the fight)+18+18+11= 56 minutes

speed = distance/time = d/t

Speed = 1085 km/0.933 h

Doflamingo’s Speed = 1162 km/h (722 mph)

And there we go, he was flying at 1162 km/h.

Not breaking the sound barrier but it makes sense by what the anime showed.

One thing to note is this includes him saving Buffalo & Baby 5 at a point where Law made sure behind where they came from there are no clouds for Doflamingo to use. He loses about 4 minutes with Law blackmailing him and then he has to take a detour which takes him 11 minutes. We can’t know whether the Straw Hats talking at the Sunny was happening at the same time as Doflamingo landing at Punk Hazard, so we’ll give him those 11 minutes because there are no clouds.

That’s 15 minutes he loses, which makes it 41 minutes. Without Law interfering and the clouds not being there, he would have arrived at Punk Hazard within 41 minutes.

So let’s calculate that.

41 minutes= 0.683 hours

1085 km/0.683h

His full speed without being slowed down by his adopted nephew blackmailing him and kidnapping his scientist to destroy his entire business would then be:

Full Speed (without being slowed down) = 1588 km/h (987 mph)

That's 441 meters per second. That’s four soccer fields he crosses within a second.

Damn. And that’s his casual speed. Broke the sound barrier again.

He is faster than a plane, planes go 600-800 km/h. 

To put into perspective just how fast he is even at that speed, a car takes 10 hrs at the distance (From Berlin to Slovenia) of 1,090km. He literally crosses the length of entire Europe within 56 minutes based on anime time. And that’s him slowed down, according to anime time. The fastest flight from Berlin to Slovenia (1,091km distance) takes 3 hours by plane.

When he found Buffalo & Baby 5, they were away from Punk Hazard. This is important cus he got angry then. That means he SPED up.

So, now we have his descent speed to cover. You know, when he lands like a boss. Yeah, that.

Doflamingo’s Descent Speed

Okay, Doflamingo wears bright colours (white, pink, vermillion) the dominant colours are white and pink. From the front, you’d see about 40% of white and 60% of pink bcs of the way his coat hangs on his shoulders, it makes him look even bigger when he is big enough already like dear God, this man gave me heart attacks 90% of the time.

Why are his clothes important? Because of the sunlight reflecting off his clothes, therefore creating the reflection that causes the marines to see him as a spark, like a star in the daylight. The brighter the clothes, the more reflection which has a possibility of creating the spark in the sky (again, the sparks in the sky are caused by the object shining or you know, being ON FIRE bcs it’s falling down the atmosphere)

We’ll put his magnitude to +10. Humans can see the faintest star when its magnitude is +6. The more negative the magnitude, the brighter sth is. The Sun has the magnitude of -26. Magnitude isn’t important, though, except…

This means we can only see him coming when it’s too late. The anime showed this as a star gleam which I understand, to show just how FAST he is coming. They showed it in daylight, daylight has apparent magnitude of -26. This is a known thing, but when you see something like that, where there is that bright of a spark in the sky and next second it lands in front of you… its speed is 360,000 km/h. He is the only warlord you can see coming at you BECAUSE he wears bright clothes. Is that good or bad? Who knows. 

Doflamingo seems to first be flying at 20ish degrees downward toward the shore, but in the last moment (ten meter from the ground or less) he makes his approach a full horizontal one, because he whooshes past the marines in a full horizontal, linear direction and then does that epic landing.

For now we’ll focus on the descent speed, which includes his linear speed when he whooshes past the marines (in the anime when he whooshes past them he is not visible to them, he leaves blurs). 

I don’t want to fuck with curves. There’ll be tangents and there’s no need for them. I don’t think his strings even let him make a curved downward descent? He can do curves turns, but I don’t think he can do descents? It’s up for debate.

Okay, so let’s say Doflamingo is about 100 meters high in the sky. He reaches the ground within 0.05 seconds in the anime. Not even 1 full second, oh boy, fluffy man is FAST, GODDAMN. My eyes just bulged out of my head. Okay. Props to the anime team, that is a great show of his speed right there by making it last such a short time. 

Also, they never see him completely until he lands. We, the viewer see him, which means he is at maximum 4.8 km away (this is how far the human eye can see).

That means Doflamingo passes 4.8 km within 0.05 seconds.

I’m scared to calculate this, to be honest. This will be… this will be fast.

Let’s convert kilometers into meters to make our life easier. We get m/s and then we’ll convert them to km/h.

Buckle up. Keep a death grip on those feathers. Doflamingo hasn’t landed yet.

4.8 • 1000 = 4800 meters

descent speed = 4800 m/ 0.05 s

Descent speed (m/s)= 96 000 m/s (314 960 feet/s)

And into kilometers

Descent speed = 356,600 km/h (221 580 mph)

O.O

Holy fuck.

Yeah, crazy fast. You know, it makes sense now why G2 Luffy (who we’ll put moves at 2,400 km/h based on jet speed) was nothing in terms of speed. Damn.

Okay, so… this speed has not been achieved by any atmospheric or orbital aircraft, so I genuinely have nothing to compare it to. This is the velocity of objects in deep space like gravitational slingshots.

Okay, let’s put it into Machs. Fastest Mach we know of is Mach 30. Okay.

Formula is:

Mach number = speed of the object/speed of sound

Speed of sound is 343 m/s.

Mach number = 96 000/342

Mach number= 279.3 Mach

Doflamingo’s descent speed is Mach 279.3

No wonder he’s a blur. No wonder they only see him as a fckn spark in the sky. 

He didn't simply break the sound barrier here, he left the sound barrier at the bottom of the sea.

And he’s landed.

I don’t know about you guys, but I’m getting off this 3 meter ride. Yep. Hopping down. It was fun. The coat is really soft.

Thank you for the ride, Doffy. Please go 50 km/h next time.

Taglist: @fanaticsnail

(Let me know if you want me to tag you in my posts and if you want to be tagged only for particular characters, let me know that, too. Thank you all for the love and support, it's really taken me off guard. You're all so wonderful. Love you all ❤️)

[davidchiemcore]

started thinking about how much money each of the characters likely makes

(DRDT SPOILERS AHEAD - for character and story backgrounds)

basic information I'm going off of: drdtdev stated that everyone except Teruko and Min make their living from their talent. the hope's peak academy they attend is located in the US, and they're specifically part of the east class, so implying its somewhere on the eastern side of the us. While they don't have to live where the school is, there is a western branch of Hope's Peak, so the fact that they attend the eastern branch suggests that they're closer to that side. The series takes place sometime in the future, but given the world had a major tragedy and seems to be on the same level as the world we live in, I'm gonna assume inflation is roughly the same as now

teruko: She does mention having to choose between rent and food, meaning she makes some sort of money, and enough to rent a place at times. I assume she works some sort of minimum wage job, given she doesn't have full schooling experience. a lot of the eastern us has minimum wage at 7.25, but places in the northeast have it a bit higher, from 10-15. If she earned something like 13 dollars an hour, worked 40 hours a week, and worked every week, she would make around 27k. However, with her bad luck and lack of legal documents as mentioned when she talks about her schooling, I assume she probably loses jobs quite frequently. Assuming she's unemployed for about a fourth of the year, she would' earn roughly 20k

xander: This one confuses me a bit. He's basically an activist, so I'm not sure what kind of job he would have consistently. Additionally, he lived in the UK from at least age 14 until he started attending Hope's Peak, so I had to look for jobs there. Looking it up, it seems that the pay ranges from 23k-49k, averaging at 33k (all in pounds). Converting that, the average salary would be 43-44k. He's living with no family, and who were poor enough to likely not leave anything behind, so he probably has to work a lot to pay for his overseas school. However, he did do school at the same time, so I'll take 3/4s of the total salary to give him 33k a year.

charles: Given that being even an entry-level chemist requires at least a four year degree, I assume he may work as an assistant to one at the moment. They still make quite a bit of money, however, most making 37k-49k a year. The average is 49k, but there's a chunk of outliers around 82k, mostly from California, which is in the western US. Therefore, I think it's reasonable to suggest he makes something in the middle of the range I gave, giving him a salary of 43k. However, given that he was likely doing school at the same time and has parents to support him, who also seemed to shelter him a lot, he likely works part time. For part time, I'll cut the salary by half and say he probably earns 22k a year.

ace: Horse jockeys get paid per race, both for winning and participating, so this is a little harder to calculate. Most horse jockeys earn 53k-67k, but given that Ace is the Ultimate Jockey, this is a job where being skilled can really help you rise in the ranks, both of how much you can charge, and how often you win. It's also something that he could reasonably have a couple years of experience in given that they only need to be 16 years old to start professionally racing. Therefore, I would put him at the high end of the average or maybe even higher. I'll estimate 70k per year. Many horse jockeys drop out of school to focus on their job, so I'll leave him at that.

arei: This is also a little harder to calculate, because while you can bowl at any age, you can only join the Professional Bowlers Association once you turn 18. However, she could still compete for prizes in PBA Jr. and other smaller competitions. This year's PBA Jr. Competition gave 10k in scholarship money, but most competitions have at most a couple thousand dollars as the top reward, so I'll estimate she might make about 12k in a year? However, she lives with family still, so this is probably fine for her.

rose: rose is stated to have earned several millions doing forgery, so her previous salary would've been incredible. However, now she just does recreations of other paintings. None of the money goes to her, but if we still want to calculate it, the average reproduction artist earns 46k a year.

hu: I assume she likely does small venues where she plays the zither. According to a reddit post, the average earnings for a gig for a small musician is around $230, and assuming she does an average of one a week (some weeks she might do more, some weeks she might not do any), she'd earn about 12k a year.

eden: Eden is stated to both do clock making and clock repair. Most clock repairers make 36k-44k a year, averaging to 40k, and the average clock maker earns about 40k a year as well. She says that she can work 14 hours without breaks, implying she has some very long work days, possibly putting her slightly above the average at 42k.

levi: At first i thought Levi would make a lot because personal stylists sound like a rich people thing? But looking into it the average salary in the US ranges from 34k-50k a year, and since he states that he's relatively new to the field, he probably leans to the lower end of that. im gonna put him at 36k? He lives alone, so he likely works full time to pay for his living conditions.

arturo: Similar to Charles, he likely doesn't perform his actual job yet regularly. Half of all plastic surgeon assistants make somewhere between 22k-56k a year, with the halfway point at 37k. The median amount is around 44k. Given that he was likely working part-time, as he was probably in school at the same time, I'll cut that in half to give him a salary of 22k per year.

min: It's stated that her schooling up until this point was paid for by the spurling foundation, so i assume either the same is the case for her time in college, or her parents were able to save a lot of money to pay for it. Given this and how much time she puts into school, i assume she doesn't have a job.

david: This was a hard one to calculate. The average motivational speaker (I know he's called an inspirational speaker but in this case they're interchangeable) can make anything from 500 to 30k per speech, depending on their experience and skill. We know David is a well-known celebrity, being famous worldwide, but it's not to the degree that everyone in the class is shocked by his appearance, just Xander. If he work to make 10k a speech, and do one speech every two months, he'd be making 60k a year. In addition to this, many speakers have alternate sources of income, like book and channels. He's not stated to have these, but I'd assume he at least does smaller talks, maybe giving him another 10k a year?? As he's paid per speech, this doesn't require a lot of hours, so he probably is able to make full pay while also going to class. I'm not sure if this is a super accurate salary, but it's hard to get a gauge on it, so I'm going with 70k a year.

veronika: How does one make money as a horror fanatic? She mentions being a scholar in her field, so maybe she writes papers and small books on the subject. However, I'm a personal fan of the "deep dive youtuber" theory, so I'll calculate for both. For scientific papers, you can earn from a few hundred to a few thousand per paper. Given this kind of stuff takes at least a couple months of research, I'd say she would only make a few thousand a year. Maybe 10k if I'm being generous and giving her a 2k article every other month? Now, for the other idea, youtubers make about 2.5-7.5 dollars per thousand views on a video. If she gets an average of 800k views per video (with a couple million on some and a few hundred thousand on some), and makes 5 dollars per thousand, she'd be getting about 4k per video. Again, if she puts out a video every other month, this would be getting her 20k.

j: Special Effects artists make anywhere from 44k to 86k a year. The average is 68k, but most make either a bit more or a bit less, and given J's influence from her mother, I'd assume she's in the higher range. The highest category is 23% of people making 78k-86k, so I'll give her 80k. I'm not sure about whether she'd work fulltime or part time, because she definitely has the money to work part time because of her mother, but she might also try to make all her own money herself to spite her? I'm leaning that she works part time, so if I cut that in half she still makes 40k a year.

whit: The average professional matchmaker makes 42k-46k a year. The average is a clean 44k a year. Again, I'm not sure if he'd work part time or full time because we don't know much about his living situation. It's possible he needs to help support his single dad, so I'll put him at 3/4s of that, 33k.

nico: Most animal behavior specialists, which is what Nico says they are in their conversation with Xander, make 46k-53k a year, with an median of 48k. However, given they don't have a degree yet, I'll assume they make on the lower end of that, so 46k. They mention going to school, so they likely work part time, cutting that in half to give them a salary of 26k.

if anyone read this far thank you this took me like three hours HAHA

[lipswoaface]

dating sean diaz hcs pt 2

- before esteban fixed up a car for sean, u guys would always take the public bus around seattle

- his favorite dates r the ones where u guys go into random small stores and thrift shops

- both of u guys cackle REALLY LOUD at tacky shirts with stupid sayings and get looks from people 😭

- ur fav thing is to go “i found something ud like” and watch sean look up from the racks in excitement to see an overly patriotic shirt that says “don’t touch my truck”

- his face drops into a frown and he picks out something 10x uglier and say it looks like something ud wear

- sean secretly buys what u say is cute but u cant afford bc thrifting is so expensive for no reason these days

- “guess what i got” and he slithers it out of his bag with an evil smile 😭 suddenly him dissing u for an hour straight doesnt even matter anymore

- once esteban texts sean for dinner u guys hop on the bus back home. he never asks sean to come home for dinner alone though! common courtesy to invite the gf

- sharing wired earbuds on the bus ride home always. sean plays little love songs bc he only listens to music that he relates to in that specific moment 😭 corny but cute. he def has songs in his head that he thinks are ur guys’ songs and plays them every chance he gets

- when u first started eating with the diaz family it was so painfully awkward

- though he kind of likes it now, he did not want his girlfriend to get to know esteban or daniel too well LMAO he didnt want to be embarrassed by anything they possibly could say

- still, even when he tried so hard to avoid it, daniel and esteban still found their ways

- estebans the kind of dad to bring up embarrassing stories about sean when he was a kid bc he KNOWS how much his son would hate it

- “y’know (y/n), im surprised seanie boy over here even managed to get a girlfriend in the first place”

- “why is that, mr. diaz?”

- “i remember he thought girls couldn’t poop until he was in middle school! i had to break the news for him—he was in denial for weeks. his voice was shaking when i told him and everything!” u can see sean pause mid-chew in the corner of his eye 😭 “and please, call me esteban”

- you just awkwardly nodded and tried to not bust out laughing. sean notices and kicks u under the table which makes u ACTUALLY bust out laughing

- esteban and daniel knew from there u were one to be trusted

- “i bet (y/n) doesn’t poop” daniel randomly said when u left that night. seans immediately swiveled his head around 😭

- just like with lyla, daniel seemed to have a crush on u as well. the only difference is that sean tries to shut it down REALLY quick.

- “she shits all the time. sometimes i wipe her ass for her bc she shits so much”

- daniel’s “eww…” is like music to his ears

- u always playfully punch him when he does this in front of u and ask why he makes u look bad in front of him

- sean never admits its bc hes jealous of a little kid 😭 he just changes the subject and kisses u bc he thinks hes sneaky

- over the summer he randomly got a buzz and didnt say anything to anybody

- he just opened his front door standing there bald as if nothing happened and ur eyes wld just kind of widen

- u wld eventually tell him it looks good tho bc it DOES he pulls it off so well

- that summer u wld always randomly start feeling his head because the texture is so interesting

- it got to the point where hed just sit on the floor in front of wherever u were so ud get to feel his freshly mowed head

- he always ends up dozing off bc its so comforting and u wld feel his head pressed on ur inner leg.

- u also get the privilege of cutting/buzzing his hair 😋

- sean doesnt trust himself so u guys sit for 40 mins watching a brad mondo video before u start going ape on his hair

- he gets kind of nervous when u get close to his face and does that thing where u switch between a persons right eye and left eye while smiling awkwardly 😭

- surprisingly it turns out good!

- i feel like ud be super nit-picky on ur work, thinking its total ass. he wld just say its perfect over and over again

- he always stares at any reflective surface and smiles like a dork in front of it. even if u did do a shit job, he probably wouldnt notice or care all that much bc he loves blindly ❤️

im on winter break so i get to be cringe and free for endless hours thank u to like the 3 other people who also like sean diaz. u r all real ones