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perplexedflower · 3 years ago

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Overhaul Headcanons

Fandom: My Hero Academia.

Category: F/M.

Relationship: Kai Chisaki/Overhaul x Female Reader.

Type: Headcanon collection.

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Attention

Overhaul has his very own definition of affection when it comes to romantic relationships. One type of attention you very rarely get from him is a physical display of attention while in public, or more generally speaking when you two are not alone, meaning even one single person present with the both of you will be enough to restrain him from touching you. He's not - and has never been - a social man, and especially doesn't like to show his emotions to others, so even if accompanied by you, he doesn't budge and remains emotionally cold. However, when it comes to private moments, you are always assured to receive physical attention from him. It's never intense, but loving enough to melt your heart anyway. A caress on your cheek, a kiss left on your neck, a hand sliding over your thighs... All these are marks of affection he enjoys giving you when you two are alone. Most of the time, they happen in silence. He loves you through gentle gestures without a word, thinking his acts speak louder than anything he could say to you. And you're fine with it. You often find yourself craving these private moments together, since they usually don't happen until the end of the day or when he's not too busy, which doesn't happen often. Aside from the intimate physical gestures he gives you, he also shows you his love through verbal affection. His tone softens when he speaks to you, and he's developed a habit of complimenting you without filtering himself in the slightest. An example is when he walks up to you to tell you in the most spontaneous of ways how gorgeous he finds you today, leaving you a blushing mess, muttering a shy 'thank you'. These compliments always catch you by surprise, and always leave you wanting for more. Of course, with each compliment he gives you, you end up repaying the favor, complimenting him daily as well, but you always feel like they don't affect him as much as his affect you. But that's only because he doesn't show it.

Control

Overhaul was born to become a leader, and his Boss had always shaped him to turn out that way. He's at the head of the Shie Hassaikai clan, with dozens of men under his supervision, following his orders without double-thinking or ever questioning the choices he makes. It is clear that he embodies the image of a man in control, dictating everyone he considers to be below him. And he is no different outside of work, when it comes to his relationship with you. You two are a couple, you form a pair, who respects each other, but there is no denial that he is the one in control of your couple. It's not so much a matter of respect or trust, but rather the fact that he's always been used to being the one in control of his life, and just because he's dating you doesn't mean this will change. If anything, it makes him want to control his life and yours even more. He not only likes to be the master of his own sea, but also feels the need to protect you and shield you from certain outside things. It's nothing too restrictive or strict, but it still matters to him to trace at least a certain amount of boundaries. On top of his natural authority, you have noticed that as your relationship has grown since when you started dating him, he tends to sometimes be quite possessive of you now, since he never stops feeling more and more attached to you as time passes. He doesn't want to cage you up, but his desire to keep you safe and for himself leads him to tutor you often. Lastly, although it may not show often, he gets jealous easily regarding the things he loves, and you're no exception. Not wanting to show you that side of him is one of the reasons why he controls some of your movements.

Doubts

Undoubtedly, your relationship with Overhaul leads your mental health to somewhat deteriorate. Yes, you love him, but it doesn't stop you from suffering from breakdowns sometimes, wondering how you came to be so attached to him, and asking yourself endlessly if you made the right choice to follow him down his path. You look back on your couple and come to doubt some of your choices. You do your best not to have breakdowns in front of him, but know he's bound to occasionally walk in on you having one. The first time he surprised you in the middle of a breakdown, he asked you what was wrong, visibly worried. And when you gathered the courage to tell him what was troubling you, his expression changed. He told you he understood your feelings but added he couldn't empathize with them, since he's never truly had that conflict. Having lived in the Shie Hassaikai clan since his earliest years, he's never had another choice but to live like a Yakuza. Unlike you, who didn't grow up a villain. Despite your different backgrounds, he still validates you and accepts you in his life, and you're grateful for that. But, although he tells you he wants you to open up to him regarding your doubts, you can never bring yourself to do so.

Equality

He may be a Yakuza, and one hell of a bad man criminally-wise, but Overhaul still has principles. And one of them is that he respects women. Unlike what some people might think, he's not the type to disrespect you, his female partner, simply because you're a woman. He believes in full gender equality, whether it is in private or business matters. In fact, for Overhaul, what determines someone and the level of worth they hold as an individual is not the controversial features people usually bicker about (such as gender, skin color, or age), but their place in society and what they can do to change the latter for the better.

Fear

You love Overhaul, you've found this out for yourself throughout your relationship with him, with your feelings for him having only gotten stronger since you've started dating. You love him for all his flaws, all his qualities, his personality, everything that makes him, him. And yet, despite all the time you've spent with him, the one thing you're still not used to is how intimidating he comes off as. You've always felt a certain aura emanating from him, like a strong force, instinctively commanding respect upon anyone who comes across him. And this feeling is even stronger when you two are alone. Whether he does it unconsciously or not, his words often weigh a certain pressure, especially when addressed to you. Sometimes, you can't help but even feel scared of certain things he says or does. You're not blind to the things he does at "work", you know his motives and how he controls his minions. You've even once witnessed for yourself how he got rid of one of his men by killing him using his Quirk, making him explode, repainting the walls red. You quickly realized you weren't supposed to see that. You had walked in on the scene, and by the time he had noticed you were there, it was too late. He seemed panicked, his eyes wide open, keeping his distance from you. He quickly cleaned himself before approaching you, asking you if you were okay as he saw you were visibly shaken up. You knew deep down he was regretting his action, because now he was afraid you'd be too scared to be with him. After all, he's a murderer, and isn't afraid to be one to achieve anything he's aiming for. You know that. But you sucked it all in, told him you were fine, and neither of you talked of it again. Since then, he's made extra sure that an accident of the like never happens again, starting by making it clear to you that he loves you too much to ever hurt you in such a way.

Germaphobia

Habits: Overhaul is a germaphobe, everyone knows this, and you especially over all others. He doesn't consider himself a cleaning freak, and actually corrects people who call him that way. Yes, he wants things around him to be clean, to make sure he doesn't come in contact with anything that could affect his system, but that doesn't make him the type to sweep his home every day. He doesn't mind when things are slightly messy and tolerates a little dust, as long as it doesn't accumulate. His main issue with germs is when they come in direct contact with him, thus leading him to wear a mask and gloves constantly. Before he met you and started living with you, he washed his hands every hour, and never took his mask off around others, no matter the context. But over time, through conversation and guiding, you managed, not without difficulty, to progressively take his habits down one level. At first, it was hard for him, since it meant changing life-long habits, but with your help, he now washes his hands at acceptable amounts, and under certain circumstances even accepts to take off his mask in public.

Touch: Because of his germaphobia, it can sometimes get quite hard for you to live with Overhaul, but not for the reasons people might think. He can be strict when it comes to physical touch between the two of you, simply because he fears catching an infection or something of the like. In order to prevent that from happening, he asks you to always wash your hands properly before touching him, and the same goes for your mouth if you wish to kiss him. This can sometimes feel heavy on you, especially if you're a touchy-feely person who needs physical touch. But you can't blame him for it, that's the way he is. Besides, you know well that since you started dating him, his germaphobia went up a notch, because he now fears for the both of you. As much as he wants to keep germs away from himself, he also has someone else to protect from them.

Kitchen authority

Another result of Overhaul's germaphobia is his desire to always be the one to cook. It has nothing to do with trust, or doubting your abilities in the kitchen, but he prefers to be the one to cook. Although it may not show, he's a very skilled cook, due to many years of making his own food in the past. He makes excellent dishes for the both of you, with care and attention, and you make sure to thank him each time for it. Your culinary compliments may seem like they don't affect him, as they don't trigger many reactions in him, but deep down he feels the pride to know he made you happy with one of his dishes. If you ever come to implore him to let you cook for him for a change, it's likely he'll end up accepting, but rest assured he'll be monitoring you the whole way through and watching your every move to make sure you do everything perfectly.

Masks

Overhaul has developed a habit of wearing different masks according to what he's doing, such as his crow mask, which he wears for work, and his set of plain black masks, which he wears when he goes out on more casual occasions. One moment you still have engraved into your memory is the day he had awkwardly confessed to you he didn't know which mask to wear when he was alone with you. It had made you laugh, which further annoyed him, but you quickly reassured him that it didn't matter much to you. You told him that it was up to him, and after that day, he decided he would wear his plain masks around you, thinking it was admittedly more comfortable. Eventually, after dating you for long enough, he took a huge step forward and decided he would not wear a mask at all when he would be alone with you, which had earned him praises and congratulations from your part. In the earlier stages of your relationship, you had also tried taking a step in his direction by gifting him masks as a way to show him your support and that you accept him for his germaphobia, but he had to turn down your offer by telling you he preferred to buy his masks himself, to make sure of their composition. However, he had still thanked you for your original idea, and despite never having told you, he still feels grateful for it.

"Overhaul"

Overhaul has made it clear to everyone that he has long buried the name "Chisaki", and you are no exception. At the beginning of your relationship, he had told you not to use it when addressing him, and you didn't see any reason to oppose it. However, you can get tired of calling him "Overhaul", especially in private settings, so you sometimes allow yourself to call him "Over" in order to preserve the aspect of nicknames, which you find important in a relationship, or whenever you want to show him a softer side of yourself. At one point, you had talked it over with each other, and he had told you you could call him "Kai" if you really wanted to. But you keep that for only the most intimate of moments...

Pet names

Overhaul isn't necessarily attached to the notion of pet names within a couple, and is mostly content enough with calling you by your name. However, as your relationship progresses through time, a time eventually came when he asked you if you wanted to be called by certain nicknames, since he started feeling more comfortable around you. He made it clear that if you did want to be nicknamed, you would be the one to choose them. He wanted to make sure he would call you by names that would please you and make you feel loved. You told him he was free to choose for you, but he insisted it was up to you. You ended up telling him what your favored pet names were and he's never forgotten them since. Although he mainly sticks to your name, he calls you by those pet names every now and then, keeping them for when he's feeling personal or domestic around you.

Quirks

You know well that Quirks are a touchy subject to talk about with Overhaul, hence why you rarely do so. But, one thing you just couldn't avoid revealing and inevitably had to bring up with him when you two first met was your nature, whether you had a Quirk or not. In the case where you were born Quirkless, the first time you had told him about it had seemed to have somewhat appeased him. It was only some time later, after learning what his "job" is and what his ideals are that you understood why he was content with you being deprived of powers. Although it had sounded weird to you at first when he had told you he was glad you had no Quirk, you came to understand that he feels this way because he sees you as pure and "clean" for it. To him, it means you represent even more than ever someone that he needs to protect. In the case where you were born with a Quirk, you couldn't help but feel fear the first time he confronted you about it. You knew about his morals and dreaded he would reject you for having powers, finding you gross and unworthy of his love. But, to your surprise, he told you he didn't mind it that much, and accepted you for who you are nonetheless. Ever since you've been together, you've brought it up with him only once, and he made it clear he accepts your Quirk because he knows you're not using it to play hero. Getting with him in the first place meant following him on his trails and more or less agreeing with his ideas, and that's enough of a reason for him to accept you by his side. Besides, all ideals aside, you know he loves you enough to not let his morals dictate his feelings towards you, and that he loves you no matter what your powers are, or even if you've got none.

Sex

It had taken you by surprise when Overhaul had told you that if you wished to have sex with him, you had to be the one to ask him for it. He explained to you that he didn't see it as a priority in your couple, and that he preferred dedicating his time to other ways of loving you, and it'd lead him to never ask you for some time under the sheets. And indeed, he never has. Ever since you've been together, you've been the one making advances each time. But that doesn't mean he turns them down, or that he doesn't appreciate sex. He actually quite enjoys it, firstly because he knows it pleases you, but also because it allows him to spend quality time with you. His sex manners are of the most common type, consisting in the most basic of positions, and rarely including kinks. But rarely doesn't mean 'never'. Sometimes, he admits it, he uses the opportunity of having sex with you to finally externalize certain emotions he's bottled up and lash out at your body. During those kinds of nights, he's even more passionate, and rougher too. He holds you tighter, pressing his entire body against yours, and even drops sensual whispers into your ears. Even when giving you this kind of sex, he's still loving towards you, asking you every now and then if you're hurting anywhere or if he's being too rough. Deep down, you fight the desire to ask him to be even rougher, wondering what it would be like if he truly gave it his all. It's evidence for him to always wear a condom when having sex with you, since he hates the thought of you filled with "filthy fluids". But that doesn't stop the quality of his sex from being extremely good, saddening you when it comes to an end, making you wish for more. But you know what comes afterward is just as good. After you're both done, he takes you to the bathroom, and steps into the shower with you, to cleanse both your bodies and minds. Under the pouring hot water, he continues to caress you and whisper to your ears how much he loves you.

Work

You'd say there's nothing in this world Overhaul is more dedicated to than his work. But, ever since you got with him, he is just as passionate about your couple as he is about his work. It's safe to say these are the only two things in his life he views as important and worth his time. Devoting himself to both his work and your relationship, he made it clear from day one that he would love for you to work alongside him. You knew right from the start what his "job" consisted of, and you had chosen to accept it nonetheless. You were somewhat expecting him to impose on you the role of the "Boss' wife", forcing you to work with him, and that was a harder thing for you to process. But, in reality, he had asked you at the beginning of your relationship if you wished to work for his clan, accompanying him in his daily activities, or if you rather wanted to stay out of it, leading your own working life by yourself. You had been very grateful to see him considerate enough to leave you the choice, and still are to this day. The thought of working by his side had intrigued you, leaving your imagination picture how you'd be walking next to him throughout the halls of the clan's headquarters, a newfound feeling of empowerment emanating from you. But on the other hand, choosing a job in something unrelated to the clan seemed the most suitable option, since it would not only give you alone-time outside of home, but would also keep you clean from any of Overhaul's activities, therefore helping keep up appearances. Whether you've decided to work alongside him as the co-Boss of the clan, or work on your own, he loves you just as much, and respects whichever choice you made that day.

Yakuza principles

Overhaul has always perceived himself as a true Yakuza ever since he first joined the Shie Hassaikai, and has always given importance to making a distinction between Yakuza and villains. The main noticeable difference between the two is the code of honor that Yakuza clans impose upon themselves, to make order and organization rule within the group. And Overhaul's clan is obviously no exception. For a man such as him, who wishes to always have everything under control, it's essential he has all his men agree to a specific set of principles and rules. However, something you hadn't expected when you started dating him was to also be imposed these rules. He had told you explicitly that whether you desired to join him in his work or not, you'd still have to obey the rules of his clan. This meant not telling any exterior party about the clan's activity, whereabouts, and identities, in order to protect both the members and you. You had decided to comply with this rule, among the others he had presented to you. But, aside from the initial surprise it had created in you, it has never had any actual impact on your relationship. You go by his rules, in and outside of work, and it satisfies the both of you. After all, you know well he trusts you, otherwise, he would have never started dating you in the first place, and that always makes you happy to think about.

Zealousness

In your eyes, Overhaul is the perfect illustration of a zealous man. He always comes off to you an enthusiastic and passionate regarding the things he does and the things he cares about. It begins with his work, which he puts above all else, and considers to be of the utmost importance. He's got plans, which count trying to make the Yakuza stronger and making his ideal a reality, and he'd do anything to achieve these goals. But his commitment doesn't stop at his work. He's also extremely devoted when it comes to his personal life, especially with you in it. He wholly dedicates his time to you when you two are alone, showing you how important your couple is to him. He tries his best to make it work and doesn't hesitate to go to extreme lengths sometimes, just to make sure you're happy with him and that you won't find anything to reproach him for. It took you some time to notice the true reason behind his actions, and when you understood why he was so committed to you, it surprised you. You hadn't expected him to be the type of man to have these types of doubts, but it also did make you understand how much he loves you. You remind him daily that he doesn't need to do such things for you to believe in his love, but you know deep down that he'll never change, and will always keep on reinforcing the foundations of your couple.

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astrojulia · 2 years ago

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6th house through the signs

ARIES: You bring a lot of enthusiasm and dedication to your daily routine, but sometimes your to-do list can weigh heavily on your mind. You're always pushing yourself to get things done, which can make it hard to relax and take a break. It's important to remember to take care of yourself and not burn out. You're generally very healthy and resilient, which is great! You have a lot of energy and a strong body, but it's important to listen to your body's needs and avoid pushing yourself too hard. You're a determined and hardworking person, but you don't want to risk fatigue or injury by overdoing it. Sometimes when things don't go as planned, it can be frustrating and stressful. That's totally normal! Just remember to take a deep breath and approach challenges with a positive attitude. Your natural drive and determination will help you succeed in whatever you put your mind to.

TAURUS: You tend to start your daily activities at a slower pace than others. However, you are fortunate to possess a calm and worry-free demeanor in challenging situations, allowing you to complete tasks at your own pace without succumbing to stress or tension. This approach, while it may take longer to finish things, often contributes to a peaceful and enjoyable daily routine. The downside of this pace is that it can affect your physical health, causing a lengthy recovery period from illnesses and colds. This may also result in not immediately recognizing diseases, leading to prolonged illnesses. However, this placement also provides the potential to strengthen your immune system and move in a positive direction. You have a robust constitution and can handle demanding physical activities when necessary. Despite having high resistance, you sometimes indulge in overeating due to a hearty appetite and a fondness for rich foods.

GEMINI: You have a lively and adventurous spirit, always seeking out new experiences and challenges. You thrive in a dynamic and ever-changing environment, constantly pushing yourself to be the best version of yourself. You possess a natural ability to think outside the box, approaching problems with a unique and creative perspective. While routines may not be your forte, you excel at juggling multiple tasks and managing a busy schedule. Your adaptability and flexibility are valuable assets in both your personal and professional life. You have a keen eye for detail and enjoy diving deep into complex projects. You care deeply about your health and well-being, and may sometimes worry excessively about your health. It's important to maintain a balance between your physical and mental health, and taking time to rest and recharge is crucial for your overall well-being. You have a contagious energy and enthusiasm that others find inspiring, and your positive attitude and zest for life make you a joy to be around.

CANCER: Your emotional strength and caring nature make you a great support system for those seeking love, understanding, and companionship. However, it's important to remember to take care of yourself too and not let these connections drain your inner strength and energy. Your home environment plays a big role in your overall well-being, so it's important to surround yourself with comfort and security to promote a calm and contented state of mind. Because you're highly sensitive, any disharmony in your environment can affect your physical health, causing issues with your stomach or intestines. It's best to leave any domestic concerns at home and focus on work when you're in the workplace to maintain productivity. Your sensitivity and emotional nature make you an excellent fit for working with people, such as social work, but it's important to leave work at work to avoid taking it home with you. While you may be more focused on work than any other aspect of your life, it's important to remember to take care of yourself both physically and mentally. If you don't have consistent work, it can take a toll on your health, so make sure to find a balance that works for you. You show concern for your coworkers and are a great team player, rather than behaving like a boss. You can even work from home or with your own family, or focus on work that benefits families

LEO: You're someone who likes to do things your own way, which is why you tend to take charge of your daily routine. Sometimes, you find that your enthusiasm can dwindle when the novelty of a regular job wears off. You prefer to be in control of your schedule and plan your days in a way that revolves around your needs. You enjoy helping others, but you also appreciate the sense of self-importance that it provides you. Just remember to be mindful of not demanding attention from others unless you're truly assisting them. Your job also allows you to inject some fun and vibrancy into your day, even if others might find some of the tasks exhausting. You always manage to have a good time! Your immune system is something to be proud of, and you have the potential to achieve good health through sheer willpower. You see being sick as an opportunity to demonstrate your strength by overcoming it, which is an admirable quality. You're passionate about health and wellness, and you may sometimes feel compelled to lead others towards a more organic or healthful lifestyle. While this can be a great thing, it's important to be mindful of not pushing too hard, especially if you're always convinced you're right. Your strong and healthy character keeps you physically active and in good shape, which gives you a sense of total well-being.

VIRGO: You have a very organized and detailed everyday schedule, and you take pride in the mantra "everything has its place." You are health-conscious and mindful of your well-being, but you should be careful not to become a workaholic. It's important to strike a balance between your routine and allowing room for spontaneity and flexibility. Being open to change and adjusting to unexpected situations can help you feel more efficient and capable in the long run. Living an organic and clean lifestyle can contribute to achieving optimal health, but it's important to remember that there's no one-size-fits-all approach. Some people in this group are health enthusiasts who hit the gym regularly and follow strict diets, while others take a more relaxed approach. You may sometimes feel uncertain about your health and have a desire to improve it, but it's important to not be too hard on yourself. It's okay to have imperfections and work towards better health at your own pace. You're generally active and healthy, but certain foods may cause digestive issues. Being mindful of what you eat and maintaining a balanced diet can help mitigate these problems. Overall, you're a meticulous and health-conscious person who values organization and well-being.

LIBRA: You're all about having a well-balanced and harmonious daily routine, and you actually enjoy working alongside your coworkers. Interacting with others is a significant part of your everyday life, sometimes even overshadowing your personal relationships. You're perfectly fine with love relationships or friendships that aren't too thrilling or impulsive. In fact, you find joy in sharing the "boring" aspects of your life with others, believing that it's through these mundane moments that true connections are formed. However, when it comes to someone else, you tend to have a detailed plan and may need to give them more space to go with the flow. The health and well-being of others often matter more to you than your own. There might be a sense of codependency, where your partner or friend ensures you stick to your diet or exercise regimen. You might become a bit too accommodating, making it easy for others to take advantage of you. However, your own sense of well-being is intertwined with the health of everyone around you. So, making a commitment to a healthy lifestyle becomes a team effort. Fortunately, your sunny and upbeat nature keeps severe health issues at bay. Sometimes, your emotions can have an impact on your physical health, but a good night's sleep works wonders to help you feel better.

SCORPIO: You've got a handle on your daily routine, but be careful not to become overly obsessed with it. When things don't go according to plan, it can feel like a power struggle or war for control. So, it's important to let go of rigid expectations about how things should unfold. You're capable of putting in a lot of effort, even on the smallest tasks. However, avoid going to extremes, as you might end up feeling empty and disconnected from your work. Health issues might affect you more than others, to the point where maintaining wellness feels like a constant battle. Serious health challenges or traumas are possible outcomes, but obsessing over discomfort or engaging in harmful obsessive thinking only worsens the situation. Mastering the connection between your mind and body can grant you immense power and transform your overall well-being. The focus here is on deep healing and transforming your immune system. Most of the time, your strength and resilience keep you healthy and in good shape. You possess an inner power that can shield you from the negative impacts of pain or any other health issues. However, there's a risk of overdoing things, like indulging in excessive food or drink.

SAGITTARIUS: Your daily routine is all over the place. You alternate between approaching daily tasks with enthusiasm and breaking free from the monotony by seeking adventure. Each day for you should be an experience, and the element of surprise keeps you inspired, turning mundane duties into fascinating endeavors. To feel productive, you need to believe in a Greater Plan. While it's admirable that you have confidence in your abilities, it's important to be mindful of taking on too much and potentially overwhelming yourself. At times, it may feel like stress knows no bounds, which can take a toll on your well-being and constantly occupy your thoughts. However, this constant fluctuation can also work in your favor, propelling you in the opposite direction and surprisingly keeping you healthy. You may go years without falling ill. The mind-body connection is emphasized here, serving as a powerful healer for both physical and emotional ailments. You may accomplish a lot and work with great energy and vitality, but it's important to avoid overexerting yourself and strive for balance. Generally, health is not a major issue for you, and you may be fortunate enough to avoid common illnesses when others around you are falling ill.

CAPRICORN: Daily chores and responsibilities can feel like a never-ending struggle for you. It's like every little thing turns into a huge mountain to conquer. But here's the deal, it's all about how you handle it or don't handle it. You see, you have this knack for setting ridiculously high standards for yourself, like everything has to be absolutely perfect. But here's a secret: when you learn to loosen up a bit and incorporate more relaxation into your routine, you'll realize that you've got the stamina and determination to tackle anything that comes your way. One thing to watch out for in this area is your health. Sometimes, you live in constant fear of something going wrong, and it takes a toll on your well-being. You might even stress out way too much about your health to the point where it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. It's time to shift your focus to finding solutions and taking care of your health, rather than dwelling on worst-case scenarios. Trust me, when you do that, your immune system will thank you and become stronger than ever. Sure, you might have had some health issues early on, but as you grow older, you'll gain more energy and vitality. Don't worry, you're not the type to neglect your overall well-being.

AQUARIUS: You've got your own unique way of doing things, even if nobody else quite gets it. Your daily plans might as well be written in sand because they never seem to stick. But hey, that's where your trust in yourself comes in. You follow your gut instincts, and they always steer you in the right direction. It's just your personality, and people should let you do your thing. Mess with your flow, and you might just unleash havoc out of pure annoyance. When it comes to staying healthy, you're all about finding unconventional methods. You're up for trying any weird treatment or therapy out there. But here's the thing, you don't really listen to other people's health advice. You're a tough cookie who might even feel the urge to break your diet or skip that exercise routine. You might start something new and exciting, only to drop it when you're just getting used to it. It's all about experimenting and finding novel ways to keep yourself fit. And hey, accidents might be more common for you than getting sick, so be careful with electrical gadgets or anything that can give you a shock.

PISCES: Sticking to a daily schedule? Yeah, that's not really your thing. You're not exactly thrilled about planning your day down to the minute. Instead, you're more inclined to go with the flow and let unseen forces guide you. Sure, it might affect your productivity a bit, but as long as you feel spiritually fulfilled, who cares? Sometimes thinking about the tasks at hand can leave you feeling confused or overwhelmed. But when you're genuinely motivated, you can get totally absorbed in what you're doing. Oh, and by the way, your immune system might be a bit compromised. You seem to catch every infection floating around, but hey, who knows where it all comes from? All this health stuff can make you a bit concerned. However, focusing on helping others, within reason, can actually improve your own well-being. Your mind and body are closely connected, and when you contribute to others' health, it reinforces that connection. Taking care of your health is important, so don't overwork yourself or engage in strenuous activities. And when there's a contagious disease going around, it's best to take some preventive measures. Oh, and remember, excessive alcohol or drug use can have some pretty damaging consequences. Moderation is key to living a healthy and happy life.

(CC) AstroJulia Some Rights Reserved

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navyismycolor · 4 months ago

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The Requirements of your Requirements

Something that I have learned in the past few years is that while it is important to have clarity about what traits we seek in our future spouses, that alone is not enough. We also have to mirror and reflect what such traits would seek in us. We have to meet the requirements of our requirements.

When I think about this, it gives me a definitive template for self improvement along the dimension of relationships. Personally, I seek someone who:

Loves me for who I am

that means firstly, I will need to have the courage to show who I am, including all those parts of me that are not shiny and impressive, I will have to practice being vulnerable, be willing to let go and lean on her knowing she has the strength to hold me up

and that in return, I shall love her for who she is, knowing that she wont be perfect, she wont tick every minute box that we all sub-consciously visualize in our love, and that is not only ok, it is precious, because in return she will bring gifts that I did not even imagine

Is monogamous and committed to long term

so I have to equally invest in single-minded commitment. I have to leave behind the thoughts of "oh what if" and "what about that". I have to give my 100% to this one person, and every day either find new ways to love her more, or reinforce the expressions of affection that work well for her

additionally, I have to be prepared for the long term, which specifically means growing my resilence to the fact that love will ebb and flow, and some days it will be hard to feel it while other days it will be so easy. I will have to fight for our shared future, overcome difficulties, wake up and choose her every day. I have to actively andeavour to grow together than grow apart.

Wants family and children

which means I have to be prepared to prioritize my family first. I have to know that sacrifices will have to be made because this is not going to be my life alone, but a shared future of all of us, and believe that is for the better.

plus, I have to be receptive to learning how to be a better father every day, give the best part of my time and energy to their upbringing and well being, and delight in their growth. I have to invest in ensuring they grow up to be both strong as well as sensitive humans who can give and receive love equally well.

Is emotionally and mentally stable

in turn, I have to constantly and proactively invest in my own emotional health. I have to identify and admit my own weaknesses and pains that I carry in me, and do my best to be able to handle them while allowing her to be part (but not responsible) for that journey

Is submissive in nature and wants to be led

that means I have to learn every day how to be a better leader, not just a dominant. i have to learn how to put her needs first so I can make decisions that are in her, or at least our combined best interest. I have to give her both the safety and the reassurance of knowing that she can rest easy by letting me lead in the relationship

Is traditional and wants to stay at home

that means I have to grow both the financial muscle as well as physical stamina to pull the family on my own at least in terms of external duties. I have to grow transferrable and employable skills and discipline with my lifestyle. And, I have to keep a level head in handling the chaos and pressures of daily businesse that will pile up on the family and always stay on top of my responsibilities.

I do not know if I will ever meet the woman I wish to find and share my life with. But if I ever do, I want to be ready. Such opportunities will only come rarely in life, and I cannot let them go to waste because I lazed around saying I will start when the situation arrives.

I have come a long way in many of these, but self improvement is a life long journey, and every new milstone and bend in the road reveals new challenges and opportunities that may not have been discovered before. It can be overwhelming at times, but like I felt way back in grad school, discovering diverse and difficult challenges also means that you have come far enough to appreciate the importance of preparing yourself to face those difficulties.

Let us keep growing brothers, not only for ourselves, but for the future we envision and want to be a part of.

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angelwait111 · 3 months ago

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if you blog fatspo in this day and age i genuinely don’t respect u as an individual. there are so many health conditions that can lead to obesity even if a person eats regularly AND healthy or not at all 😐

my grandmother had a thyroid condition and despite how little she actually ate she still maintained that heavy set weight, i watched her cry over it frequently. it wasn’t something she chose for herself and she spent a lot of time & energy trying to slim down to no avail.

pcos (or polycystic ovarian syndrome) is another disorder that causes severe weight gain, it affects individuals who have ovaries and leads to reproductive complications. it’s also incredibly painful.

while it may be extremely normalized to live in a society where people do over-feed & put themselves into positions of declining health. we do not know what another individual is dealing with mentally, physically, or if they too have an ed.

more often than not we hear about high rates of dissatisfaction with appearance in individuals who are overweight/obese. hating your body is what lead most of u to @na sites/pages and behaviors. your personal struggle with body image and esteem is not more valid because you are objectively smaller.

did you lose your empathy with that weight loss?

i lost over 180 pounds in the span of a year (1) and at my hw my own mother told me i wasn’t small enough to have an ed.

i’ve been hospitalized/ put into residential treatment. told if i don’t eat regularly i could perish randomly.

yet i’ve never treated someone like they’re less of a human because of a gap in numbers on a fucking scale.

don’t act better than other people just because you don’t eat.

you’re the sick one here… you are victim to a disease just like an overweight child is a victim to sugar.

hot people are nice to everyone.

there’s already so much filth in this world, why not rise above it?

(also i would scrap irl w any of u wannarexics reposting said garbage. if you’re not gonna put ur dukes up keep scrolling babe. ❤️😻)

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rweoutofthewoods · 3 months ago

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can you talk more about your own experience with bpd in relation to james and regulus in the fics you write? sorry if that was confusing i can’t figure out how to word the question better

Okay I THINK (and you can correct me if I'm wrong) that you mean like how similar they are to real life/if any of it is directly my experience? (plus how it might differ?)

I try to be careful in not making my characters me, so generally the things I pull directly from my own experience are the emotions and thoughts behind it all, which I think are the important part because that's the one thing someone without BPD might have a harder time replicating. You know, the thing you might not be able to nail by doing research or googling symptoms is how it actually feels to live with BPD.

So some of it is pretty universal in borderline, and I know it because I've lived it, but I'm also not writing my own life. THOUGH I am trying to write a realistic depiction, if that makes sense. I follow a lot of creators with BPD, I have friends with BPD, and have spent a lot of time on BPD subreddits so I try to take my experiences as well as those around me and things I've learned from others to paint a better picture of BPD. For example, the one BPD symptom I've rarely experienced is dissociation but I've still tried my best to include it in owcm because other people do experience it, even if I don't. Because the thing is you need 5 out of 9 symptoms to be diagnosed which means not everyone with BPD will experience all of them. So everyone's experience is unique, and my depiction is furthered by what I know, but I try not to LIMIT it to that. Some tiktok accounts I think do a good job on BPD are this and this one if anyone wants to learn more outside of me.

Since it develops as you get older, this is why in my depiction of BPD I write my characters as adults. I personally, noticed my life was being detrimentally affected around 18-19, but I've struggled with mental health since I was 12. And since BPD is largely caused by trauma, it's not like it's smooth sailing your entire life and then suddenly you turn 18 and boom, you have BPD. There are distinct environments and feelings you might have as a child that lead to it becoming BPD. So like in ppp, James always felt like there was something wrong with him as long as he could remember, but it didn't REALLY come to a head until he was an adult. And there were a few parts in Monty's POV in ppp about James' mental health as an adolescent that were similar to my experience, but not exactly the same. Here's a video I think does a really good job of explaining the possible kind of childhood circumstances and how it manifests later in life.

Something of my own experience I've never put in my fics (because I'm very sensitive and careful with this topic) is that BPD can be comorbid with other disorders/illnesses. I don't bring up my other stuff here bc I think it's more likely to be harmful and triggering than helpful or educational, BUT a lot of people with BPD have other burdens as well whether this is another disorder or substance abuse, etc. And that's something I haven't really touched on before, because of course, I am aware that my writing is being consumed by people and as honest as I want to be, I also want to limit potential harm. So my depiction is a little affected by that awareness.

I have a short oneshot (and pretty shitty, sorry.... it was a vent I wrote in like an hour) about BPD james from spring. That one, just because it was just a one-time, throw-it-out-there kind of fic, does come from a lot of my own experiences. There's a few scenes that actually happened to me in there, but I don't/haven't done that in ppp or owcm.

So I guess in short, everything I write about BPD James and Reg are real, but it's not always necessarily my personal experience. The feelings, thoughts, and reactions however, are pretty universal, and even if the events may not be real, they mirror the kind of things that WOULD cause those emotions and reactions. I HOPE this answers your question and I'm understanding it correctly <33

Much love xx

#mere answering things ;)#mere's bpd talks #fic: pathological people pleaser #fic: october will cure me

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keeperofthebox · 2 years ago

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This is kind of just an unhinged meta rant about Rymin so do with it what you will. It's about Ryan's parents and how, despite having very little screentime, they really play into the story and the disagreements that Ryan and Min-gi have.

Ryan's dad only has one line and it's to give exposition to the fact that he's from a large family. That's all any of the Akagis say about Ryan. They aren't paying any attention to him or what he's doing in the BBQ scene in the twin tapes. Ryan is the exact middle child, and I think that was chosen intentionally to drive this point home. Them overlooking him leads to a lot of his outbursts throughout the season (quotes may not be exact because im not going back to look) -- "Our parents are probably wondering where we are. Or, at least... yours are." (the old west car), "Why doesn't anyone care about how I feel?" (the art gallery car), "At least your parents actually care about you!" (the mega maze car), and "No one cares about me unless I'm doing... something." (honestly cannot remember which episode and I'm too lazy to look it up). Ryan's parents' absence from book four is purposeful -- their lack of presence says just as much about Ryan as Min-gi's parents presence says about Min-gi.

Ryan has a big personality. He's a performer. He loves dressing up in crazy outfits and he loves looking cool. I don't think these things necessarily stem from emotional neglect as a child, but they are affected by it. He craves attention and he hasn't been getting it, and that leaves him with severe issues when it comes to dealing with his feelings. All of those quotes I mentioned are him lashing out, seeking attention from Min-gi, hoping that Min-gi will notice how much he's hurting from being ignored -- but every time, Min-gi redirects back to his own family issues.

Min-gi is from the opposite situation. I don't have as much to say here because the show is much more blatant about it, but his parents give him too much attention. They hover, they tell him what to do and how to do it. He is being slowly crushed by their expectations. He wants the same things as Ryan -- to make music, to perform, albeit for... lets say artsier reasons than Ryan does. But he's been taught those things are childish. He needs to be the responsible one, and clearly he's the only one with a good head on his shoulders, considering what Ryan is like. He lashes out at Ryan constantly, especially in the early part of the season, for continually dragging him into impulsive plans.

He wants Ryan to conform to societal norms, like he does, like his own parents taught him, so that Ryan will stop getting them into messes. However, Min-gi doesn't see that Ryan's personality and mental health issues don't give him the option to conform (creds to tumblr user vexahlla for that phrasing ... her tags on this post made my brain explode). He says "I couldn't get into uni if I tried" (the mega maze car). This is a whole other rant but Ryan also displays symptoms of bipolar disorder throughout the season which indicates to me that his brain chemistry would not physically allow him to slow down and follow a "typical" life path without genuine help (not the needling Min-gi was doing in the astro queue car). I think these problems that the show alludes to would have been alleviated a lot more if he'd had more help from his parents, but again, he's dealt with emotional neglect since he was tiny.

So Ryan and Min-gi end up as an unstoppable force and an unmovable object (which... now that i think about it... is a pretty accurate description of them as people, too). They both want to play music, but Ryan needs it immediately, because he needs the attention that he's not getting at home. He wants to get away, and fast. However he doesn’t realize that getting away without Min-gi is pointless, because Min-gi is who he actually wants attention from anyway. On the other hand, Min-gi can't leave immediately, especially when he thinks there's a particular life path he needs to follow. Both desperately want the other in their life, which keeps driving them back together, but they butt heads because their upbringings are so opposite.

This issue doesn't exactly get resolved in book four, but it doesn't need to, either. Book four ends with Ryan and Min-gi apologizing, and agreeing to stop sweeping things under the rug, actually try to look at each other fully, and see where the other person is coming from. So it's definitely a start to mending the gap between them and i think that's enough.

#rymin #infinity train #keeperofthebox talks #Theres so much more i want to say but its not really directly related to this point and i wouldnt know how to phrase it anyway #ryan akagi #min gi park #Im going to go listen to me and michael by mgmt and cry now

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dog-id · 12 days ago

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moderator intro . blog rules . tagging system

who is running this blog ?

My name is Orion ! He / Him . ΘΔ 🏳️‍⚧️

i'm level 2 support needs autistic and zoology is my special interest, but I have strong favoritism towards dogs. i am not a professional but i am an aspiring vet.

this blog is not about me and i don't intend to change that. you will not see me post about personal or political things unless it directly relates to this blog. (ie; a health issue keeping me from posting.) I will not talk about myself here unprompted. personal asks will be answered but tagged accordingly.

i have memory issues and struggle with mental and physical illness. i ask that you please be patient and do not always expect answers (especially quick ones) from me.

how do you run this blog ?

i have a queue schedhuled to post ten times a day all day! tagging me in posts is encouraged as it takes a lot of time to find my own. i am often busy with school, so i don't have all the time in the world to run this blog. The queue may occasionally run empty, but I promise i will try to avoid that when i can. asking me to identify dogs in posts, sending me your dogs to identify, etc is encouraged!

i can :

tell you about dog breeds in terms of history, lifestyle needs, common health issues, and temperament!

identify coat colors!

identify dog breeds!

i am not a DNA test or a professional ; i consider myself more knowledgable on dogs than the average person, but i am flawed! this blog is a hobby, and i do it for fun, so please be patient with me. as of current i do these off the top of my head, aided by the internet and sometimes books. feel free to correct me but please be kind!

i consider myself knowledgable on dog behavior and health, but since i am not a professional i do not feel comfortable speaking on these topics. if you ask me about your dog's health or behavior i will tell you to see a vet.

extra disclaimer : if i say your dog is not bred to breed standard it is not an insult. i mean your dog is different than others of their breed , which is not inherently a bad thing! ^_^

extra extra disclaimer : i am not good at identifying mixes or mutts! i operate on the constant assumption that the dog i'm identifying is purebred. this may lead to innacuracy, but if i am told a dog is a mix i will correct the original id.

do you have a DNI ?

not here! i just identify dogs!

i do want people to be aware that i am disabled and queer, so hate for that obviously wont be tolerated. that being said, i dont engage in discourse here: if i make a mistake i will just correct it and any bullying will be blocked! ^_^

This blog is a safe place for therians, pet regressors, kemonomimi, and furries! if you like dogs or want to learn about them you're welcome here!

i don't care if blogs that post NSFW interact but i ask you keep any direct interactions (reblog commentary, replies, etc) safe for work since i am a minor and my blog works with actual animals! i do not answer DMs, please only send asks!

how does your Tagging System work ?

🐾 = inconsistently added. not every post with this thing will be tagged.

'#not dogs ' -> not dog stuff !

' #dog id ' -> dog breed identification !

' #breed info ' -> information on a dog breed !

' #coat id ' -> fur color identification !

🐾' #askbox ' -> asks !

🐾' #unsure ' -> breed id's i'm not totally sure on !

🐾' #puppy ' puppies !

' #psa ' -> posts that arent dogs but will directly affect the blog !

i tag every post with the breed its about for easy searching!

#pinned

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mejomonster · 10 months ago

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Huai dao: 1 i hope Sheng Yao dates KING OF ACTING SHU JIU (who is secretly Hei Xiazi from dmbj i am standing by that)

2 i do think sheng yao and su junzi (and the conflict of su junzi being married) situation aspects was somewhat worked into the 3 persom situation of fei du/luo wenzhou/tao ran in modu. The characters are different, and modu is way more intense about it (all 3 of the modu people have way more trauma and unhealthy coping mechanisms and Intensities to them than sheng yao or su junzi so far). But the fun ideas played with are definitely sparks of excitement during Huai Dao, and i can see why they were worked in modu.

3 i want more jiang hu backstory! Idk about shen yexi having ptsd, as he (as far as i know) had a support network of friend coworkers and has been using fairly normal coping mechanisms for stress that arent like causing any major issues for him. But i do think jiang hu (based on hints so far) has either some childhood trauma or actual past-work trauma. The childhood trauma theory: if this is like modu, then the cases may parallel one or both leads mental states. In that case: jiang hu had a childhood where he was expected to be perfect and fell short/felt guilty, or perhaps he was a victim to something and seeked to appease them to feel in control (like 2nd huai dao case). Which could be adult work trauma and could be very broad frankly: it could instead be that he had an old workplace where his mistakes led to something bad for someone (maybe patients or coworkers) so he took on an unfair amount of guilt he put on himself (or someone im authority blamed him and he believed them in that it was his fault), or he felt so out of control (in any kind of abusive workplace tbh) that he ended up guilty abd scared of Following Orders or Protocol or Superiors and failing to help who he intended (both a corrupt workplace or even just a run of the mill police one/societally normalized stressful workplace) couldve caused it.

I tried to word it before and went on a tangent so im going to try and just quick state what i hope comes across clearly. So i think priest doesnt use mental health terms particularly well in Huai Dao. It gets better in later novels of priests novels (modu handles terms better - including parts where things arent named, which is sometimes more realistic of trauma and levels of it and depression and anxiety and just how like the range of how we cope and what messes us up is vastly different and results in different ways for people, and what deeply affects one person may make no result in another). But in Huai Dao because of specific term labelling, and it being on perpetrators of harm, it can fall into a kind of reinforcing certain ideas - which is my biggest warning if you read. The actual portrayal of characters feels realistic TO each individual characters cirmstances and feels reasonably realistic. So i think priesr doesnt let it affect actual portrayals. But atuff like say a criminal having ocd but no one on the investigation team having ocd... you know. Its like if you have 1 gay character in a story and theyre a villai. Its fine to do a gay villain, but if its ur only gay character then readers as a whole may just reinforce their belief 'gay people are bad' unless you have some other neutrally or well treated gay character to reinforce that your story is not intending to say all X are bad. Idk if that makes sense? (Like... again modu compares childhood abuse cases, in fact a variety from Fei Du and the Su girl forced to harm otjers as children and what theyre like older, to zhang donglai with an absent dad and his own fucked family issues, to various side characters... and because theres people who turn out all kinds of ways, and fei du is a lead wr root for, theres never the feeling of the story seeming to indicare people abused as children are 'bad.' Instead the story just more broadly is showing how things could turn out varyingly, and how a wide spectrum of ppl have lived through that kind of trauma). I think huai dao if it leaned less on labelling terms might have worked better, or some side or main chqracters having similar mental health issues that the writing paints as people we root for or feel sympathy toward like victims. So like. Mm a weak spot for sure. Expected to run into it in tjis genre, its not an uncommon flaw in many a crime novel or show. But it is something to be aware of. while i think if a main cjaracter eventually does reveal they have mental health issues is may help lessen the kind of abrasiveness currently. But qho knows. This is a problem widespread in stories.

I think the characters tjemselves function as you expect ppl to in their situation. So as realistic characters things feel not illogical or so unrealistic it drives me up a wall. But yeah the terms and a bit of the selection of who has what background has some not ideal choices.

#huai dao #lb

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autisticjoshrusso · 5 months ago

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What are your favorite Josh headcanons?

its the way that im so incapable of shutting the fuck up about this guy but the moment i get asked directly im like UHHHH IDK. so apologies if this is kind of a mess <3 also i rarely think about cute and fluffy things i am always digging deep into trauma and such so uh yeah these are going to be on the heavier side.

The biggest one is obviously that he's autistic, shocking I know. Who would've guessed this would be a dearly held headcanon of tumblr user autisticjoshrusso. It truly makes me so insane and I'm incapable of like... properly summarizing it in its entirety so I am actually working on going through ep by ep breaking down my thoughts about it. So far there's just this one post, but I am slowly but surely working through a series rewatch and doing this along the way. So. Stay tuned? JKDFHKJ

I think he was very obviously Gay even as a child and that it definitely affected his ability to socialize throughout his entire childhood and adolescence. Like he's very much giving "only had female friends who may or may not have treated him like an actual human person and not their accessory GBF". And he still leans into that "persona" sometimes as an adult because it's an easy way to be liked <3 again its the autism but yknow.....

Speaking of childhood, he's giving only child to me. And I think his relationship to his parents is just... non-existent. He didn't deliberately cut contact, it wasn't any sort of dramatic abuse situation, they just... aren't close? It's that thing where they knew he was gay from the start but also never really knew how to handle it, never being fully accepting but not outright hateful, just a very awkward medium that made it difficult to form a lasting bond into adulthood. They text once per holiday and are friends on Facebook.

This one doesn't really have much of a canon basis but rather builds on my other headcanons, and that's that growing up being a Known Gay led him to well... his own kind of Buck 1.0 era, so to speak. Basically being the favorite secret hookup for every deeply closeted sports bro, which was horrific for his mental health but was like... scraps of attention/intimacy that he wouldn't get otherwise, so why not keep doing it? I like this one because not only does it make the whole trying to avoid a meaningless hookup when he rejoined dating apps thing more meaningful and hurt even more than it already does, but also adds a new layer of substance to his beef with Eddie that I think is really interesting.

The timeline of this show is all sorts of fucked so I've just decided that like... he either just turned or will soon be turning 40, and definitely has some feelings about that because when he was younger he did NOT expect he'd live to be that old <3 Not necessarily in an active ideation way, but more of a passive disregard for his life and just general queer pessimism? I hold that Sue saved his life twice, first in the fire and then by giving him a job that gave him an actual sense of purpose and direction for probably the first time ever. Every time he thinks about the fact he might actually end up being a proper Queer Elder he just?? surprised pikachu meme.

I was going to just do five of these but for the sake of not having all of these be sad as fuck, one last bonus one for you is that I think his main special interest(s) is celebrities and films and pop culture and stuff like that <3 like he WILL infodump about the lead actress' entire filmography before you can actually watch the movie.

Thank you for asking I love talking about my favorite special guy <3 Minor characters are my absolute favorite and I love to come up with deeper backstories than what we're given based on over-analyzing all of their behaviors <3

#my posts #asks #speaknowbuckley #911 abc #josh russo #911 headcanons #im SO normal about minor characters #sorry if u were hoping for fluff i am an angst goblin i bring only agony and trauma i live to torture my faves <3

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faberown · 6 months ago

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ABEL (If Hell is forever than Heaven must be a lie)

FAMILY

Abel is the second son of Adam and Eve, younger brother of Cain and older brother of Seth, Calmana, Awan and other 135 unnamed siblings. He is also Azura's brother-in-law.

APPEARANCE

Abel is described as a man with the appearance of a twenty-year-old, with long, blond hair tied in numerous braids running down his shoulders and long multicolored rainbow-like wings; his physical constitution and beautiful face are defined as extraordinary, and his features so artistic that he seems like a sculpture. Like his father and the Exorcists, his halo also has an awl inside it, reflecting his past as a victim.

PERSONALITY

Abel has a very good personality, but still impulsive. Always try to see the best in people and help others if you can; he can be very patient, as demonstrated when he keeps calm and restrains his sister Calmana after Vaggie had offended her. He is also very wise, to the point that he manages to guide Charlie on the right path to understand how to make everyone happy in the afterlife, giving her all the tools to finally be able to talk to Adam. However, in particularly thorny situations, it may happen that he falls prey to his impulsiveness and says or does wrong things despite regretting it immediately afterwards (such as when he reproaches Adam for what happened with Cain, despite knowing that it is a very sore point for his father).

According to Abel, a good part of his open personality is due to the fact that he forgave Cain in his heart, which allowed him to free himself from the chains of hatred and better understand the nature of people and the need to forgive and build something new even with your enemies. In fact, as shown in the flashbacks, before reaching this catharsis, Abel was much more introverted, harsh and taciturn, although he still showed a deep affection for his family (with the exception of Cain).

Furthermore, Abel, just like his father Adam, is very protective of his family, to the point of being ready to fight with anyone to defend them (as demonstrated when he finds Adam injured after the beating suffered by Michael, in which he immediately wants to make his attacker pay).

RELATIONSHIPS

With Adam: Abel has a good relationship with his father, caring a lot about him and holding his judgment in high regard. He is also very interested in his mental health, aware of how damaged it is, and in fact he lives with him (taking advantage of the fact that they are both bachelors) to be able to keep an eye on him at least a little. Their good relationship, however, doesn't prevent them from arguing when they disagree, and in those cases Abel must deal with both his father's stubbornness and his own impulsiveness which sometimes leads him to say the wrong things. However, Abel only wants his father to be able to recover at least a little from the trauma he has suffered, and sees redemption as the way to finally give Adam relief. If necessary, he is even ready to defy his father's wishes in order to do the right thing (such as when he goes to meet Charlie even though he had expressly ordered him not to).

With Cain: through flashbacks, Abel showed different phases of his relationship with Cain. Initially he showed a lot of submission towards him, wanting to get along with him despite Cain being decidedly abusive towards him, considering him a wastrel. After being killed by Cain, Abel hated him for many centuries, although he nevertheless seemed to show some grievances about having to kill him when he became a danger to the universe (although it is not clear whether these grievances were due to the little affection he had left or to fear of having to fight against the most powerful demon in Hell). Later, however, Abel set out on a path of spiritual growth and came to forgive his older brother despite all his cruelty, to the point that, according to him, even if he met him again it would not cause him any disgust.

With Seth: Abel and Seth have shown more than once that they collaborate and get along well. It is unknown whether they have a closer relationship than all their other brothers or whether they are like this for everyone.

With Calmana: Abel has proven to have a good brotherly relationship with his sister, and also to be able to exercise some authority over her, stopping her when she gets angry with Vaggie.

With Awan: the exact dynamics between Abel and his sister are unknown, but they still seem to have a good relationship.

With Charlie: Abel sees in Charlie and her plan of redemption the possibility of freeing both Heaven and Hell from the cycle of suffering and death in which they are imprisoned, as well as finally helping his father recover. According to him, he believes that Charlie brings light wherever she goes and that she has the strength to succeed at what everyone else has always failed at. At the same time, however, he recognizes that she needs to understand certain dynamics before she can really act, and therefore fulfills the role of guide for her until she finally becomes ready to continue on her path alone.

With Eve: the relationship between Abel and his mother is unknown, but it is likely given Eve's nature that she was a good mother to him.

With Michael: Abel shows great respect towards Michael and also a certain complicity, even if it is unknown whether the two of them are friends or simple acquaintances.

With Lute: even if the dynamics of their relationship are not clear, Abel still doesn't disdain Lute's company, especially because he recognizes how much his father cares for her, even if he doesn't share her ideologies and her stubbornness.

STORY

Abel was born over ten thousand years before the events of Hazbin Hotel, and grew up with Adam and Eve on Earth. Adam was a very present and good father to him, having learned from his mistakes with Cain, and made sure that Abel never felt too pressured or disrespected. However, the same could not be said of Cain, who instead looked at his brother with contempt and envy due to the different relationship that their father had for him (despite Adam still trying to re-establish relationships with him). At an unspecified moment in history, Abel invented livestock farming and began raising goats and sheep. His work, however, created further friction with Cain, as his animals sometimes ended up trampling his crops, and he eventually killed him by hitting him on the head with a stone.

After dying, Abel was reborn in Heaven as an Exorcist, but could not pass the golden gates as they were sealed to humans. Only when Adam died in turn and arrived in Heaven and opened the gates was Abel finally able to enter. Abel became the leader of the Exorcists and managed the angelic army for centuries, until, about eight thousand years before the events of Hazbin Hotel, Adam took his place to prevent Abel from being responsible for purging Hell and especially killing definitive of Cain. After the battle was over, Abel along with his other siblings tried to help his father, but he, completely overwhelmed by his anger and hatred, ignored them and began to perpetuate the Extermination.

During the events of Hazbin Hotel, Abel did not intervene because Adam made sure he was not involved; after his father died, he was very heartbroken, but was instead surprised when he returned much earlier than expected through unknown means. Abel continued to stay away from Charlie at his father's request, but that didn't stop him from seeing how rapidly his father's mental health was deteriorating, worrying him quite a bit; during the duel between Charlie and Adam, Abel was present and could see his father show all his ferocity. Immediately afterwards he tried again to make him see reason, ending up arguing bitterly with him and even going as far as accusing him of having killed Cain, even though he regretted it immediately afterwards. Adam, furious, almost hit Abel, but then stopped himself, injuring himself in the process rather than harm him, and locked himself in his room without allowing him to continue the conversation.

After this, Abel no longer wanted to stand by and, defying his father's order, he went to meet Charlie, proposing that she enter Adam's memories so that she could see what he had suffered. Abel then helped Charlie convince Sera to help him and remove Adam from his house. After Charlie had seen Adam's memories, Abel accompanied her to her apartment and there encouraged her not to give up but rather to continue, explaining to her how and why he believed in forgiveness and second chances. Abel's advice, combined with the support of Michael and Vaggie, and Sir Pentious's decision to meet one of his victims and take responsibility, gave Charlie what she needed to be able to have a serious talk with Adam.

Abel was then the one who warned Charlie and Adam of the catastrophe that was taking place in Hell, and when his father found himself having to choose whether to unleash Heaven's arsenal on the demons or not, he firmly opposed this by inviting Adam to choose to do the right thing. After Adam, Charlie, and Vaggie left for Hell, Abel took command of the Exorcists and ran them until Azrael returned. After his father returned from Hell, he gave him an account of what happened in Heaven during his absence.

TRIVIA

-) Abel is, together with Adam and Lute, the only known Exorcist that changed his appearance: originally, he was an angel with black halo and silver wings not different from all the other soldiers, since that appearance is a representation of a victim and he was literally the first victim. After he forgave Cain, his appearance changed, showing his reborn.

-) According to Abel, he interacted with every philosopher and sage in the history of humanity. Such interactions helped him on his path to rebirth.

-) It is not known whether Abel ever met God, but he knows his teachings nonetheless. He also seems to know the teachings of Jesus, who was an incarnation of God.

-) Abel's sexuality is unknown, but given that Adam states that he sometimes dates women, it is clear that he is straight or at least bisexual.

-) Abel is one of the few sons of Adam who was not married.

-) Abel is the only one of Adam's sons to live in the same house as him. According to the author, this is due to the fact that Adam does not consider himself worthy of living near his children, and Abel is the only one who had enough willpower to stay and live with him despite telling him to leave. This coexistence is mainly due to the fact that Abel wants to have his father under his eyes as much as possible to make sure he is well. However, Abel cannot access Adam's private spaces despite living with him.

-) Another testimony to how Abel is the only one truly capable of facing his father (at least in an argument) is shown by the fact that he is the only one who spoke to him after the duel against Charlie, despite many of his siblings being there with him, a sign that they had chosen him as spokesperson for all of them.

-) It's unknown what kind of opinion Abel has about Lucifer and Lilith, but considering how he acts towards Charlie, whatever his opinion is he doesn't let it affect his relationship with her.

-) Abel seems to receive a lot of respect from his siblings, much more than Seth receives, given that he is considered by everyone to be the "big brother" despite being the second born in the family.

-) As shown briefly in one chapter, Abel likes to carve and build furniture. It would also appear that he is trying to teach Seth that passion.

-) Abel is aware of Lute's feelings for Adam, or at least suspects so since when Pentious asked if she was the first man's lover he replied that "she certainly would have liked it".

-) According to the author, the suitable voice actor for Abel would be Avi Roque, the same voice actor as Raine from the series The Owl House.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin headcanons #hazbin fanart #hazbin fandom #hazbin fanfic #hazbin abel #helluva boss #vivzieverse #vivziepop #fanfic

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pluvicor · 1 year ago

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Zion is by far one of my favorite OCs and the one whose story I spend the most time trying to continue despite not actively writing him that much anymore.

Some of the reason for it is how I, admittedly, became close minded and skeptical about collaborative work on this side of the RPC. But that's for another post (or none at all), I'm here to lay out the things I've established for him, either through development over Discord, ideas that came and stuck with me but were never shared, or a secret third thing, lest I forget and punch more holes into his storyline:

Personal life:

Leads a married life (not on paper yet) with Rickon. It's a very fulfilling relationship, Rickon is the exception to Zion's compromise to never resort to violence and/or dirty tricks, should anyone do anything to harm him. Given Zion's current state in life, that is not to be taken as lightly as it once could, as I'll touch on more down this post;

He's also in a relationship with Samael, though he's still conflicted about putting a name to it, given his aversion to the idea of having multiple partners. In fact, he is Zion and Rickon's boyfriend, that makes it easier alongside the fact Samael is a literal god and doesn't seem to mind how Zion navigates this new state of affairs between them, as long as it's good for everyone;

He's in therapy, has been for a while. His therapist is not human but I haven't decided what or who they are yet. Zion never felt he'd be safe with a regular professional, seeing as his problems stem from very unnatural events - he concluded he wouldn't be taken seriously at all, with less than pleasant consequences and the actual assistance he needs;

Zion has something going on with his mental health, he's on mood stabilizers and some antis;

His blood is haunted. In all seriousness, a regular doctor can no longer provide reliable diagnosis for any ailments he may have, as his body has been permanently affected by years of consecutive and direct exposition to demonic essence. Would an exorcism work? I don't know, maybe not, maybe it'd kill him. Remains to be decided;

And he's still mortal, though;

He no longer lives in an apartment with Rickon, they're sharing a house and have ??? cats;

Business:

The petting zoo that became a ranch then became an inn and is now large enough to be considered a district? Yes;

It's giving him a bit of legal trouble for that. It's expansion is partly due to his impulsivity;

It has over 100 rooms for guests and a sizable staff. He's the owner and head manager, has many sub managers for each department (cuisine, reception, maintenance, accounting, legal, etc etc);

It's no longer in the stock market and he's put an end to contracts with sponsors as means to avoid too much meddling from external parties;

🆕 It has an alchemy department! Cool, yeah?;

The lake is alive and she is moody. She has recently learned to assume a form of her own made of pure water but isn't fond of it and uses it exclusively for communication (when she wants to talk). Skip stones in her and she'll beat you up, try to go for a dive and she'll recede enough so you hit the bottom instead. She didn't quite like Zion at first, he doesn't know why, but now they're on friendly terms;

The animals in its rehabilitation center are no longer exclusively earthlings or from his universe. Guests have started to leave them there for care;

Same with his plants (garden and greenhouse);

Alair, the concierge, is no longer the only Boto working there. Hide your wives when visiting;

It has a growing system for people who want help for any activity, a "help wanted" board that he totally did not take inspiration from Stardew Valley, and if you imply as much he will laugh and deny despite everything. It's loosely supervised by a moderation team just to make sure nothing against the place's rules is posted;

It doesn't run exclusively on regular currency, any item can be evaluated at the exchange office to have its value assessed;

I'll add more as I remember it.

#ooc save.

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blackboujeebeauty · 2 years ago

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Sis, You Need A Mental Health Day: 5 Signs That You're Overdue

Taking care of yourself mentally, emotionally, and physically is the highest form of self-love. When you're feeling stressed or overwhelmed, it can be tough to remember that your mental health is just as important as your physical health when getting caught up in the motions of life. If you're experiencing any of these five signs then Sis it's time for a mental health day!

Emotional Distress

Emotional distress occurs when you experience an extreme level of unpleasant emotions that affect your thought process, decisions & routines.

Emotional distress can manifest in many ways, including worrying about things that are not real or circumstances that are out of your control. It can also include feeling like you cannot cope with the demands of your life, or feeling like you have lost control over some aspect of your life.

If you're feeling this way, the first step is to acknowledge what is happening and where these feelings are rooted. You may not be aware of it, but stress can lead to a number of symptoms in your body—from headaches and insomnia to anxiety and depression. If you feel any of these symptoms, it's time for a timeout!

Sleep Deprivation

If you're not able to get your beauty rest the way you need to due to your mind evading your peace then we gotta fix that. Sleep deprivation can cause an array of problems, from poor health to mood issues. Sleep is important for our health and well-being. It helps us feel rested and energized so that we can be productive in our everyday life with a clear mind.

Sleep deprivation makes it harder for us to concentrate on tasks at hand because when we're tired our brain does not function as it regularly should. Sleep deprivation can make you feel tired and irritable throughout the day—and those symptoms are often mistaken for being depressed! In fact, they're just signs that it's time to adjust your nighttime routine to get back to that beauty rest that will keep you feeling refreshed and ready to handle your day ahead.

You Feel Unaligned Spiritually & Emotionally

You've been making fear-based decisions, and your stress levels are through the roof. It feels like someone or something else has taken control of your life and emotions, and it's not you anymore.

You feel like a stranger in your own body.

You feel like you are different than you used to be.

You feel like you have lost your identity.

It feels as if someone or something else has taken control of your life and emotions, and it's not you anymore.

Brain Fog

Have you been having trouble remembering things? Do you find yourself forgetting what appointments are coming up on the calendar or forgetting your thoughts easily? Are the small details of everyday life slipping through the cracks? If so, then it may be time for a mental health day.

Furthermore, if you find yourself struggling with other tasks, then it might be time to find a day that you can declutter your mind and get it back on track by having a well-needed mental health day that doesn't require much thought or action.

Feeling Drained

It's normal to feel tired after a hard day's work, or when you're stressed out and your mind is racing. But when that fatigue lingers for more than a couple of days, it may be time for some much-needed downtime. The reasons behind this exhaustion vary from person to person—it could mean anything from anemia to depression—but one thing is certain: The best way to combat it is by getting some well-needed relaxation time.

You've been feeling a little drained lately, which is hard to pinpoint, but you know it has something to do with how you're spending your time. You know that taking a break and getting away from your phone, computer, TV and other distractions will help you recharge so that when you get back to yourself after your mental health day, things will seem better—and they will!

So don't wait another moment before making sure that your schedule includes some quiet time as soon as possible. You deserve it!

Sis, It is okay to not feel okay, but what is not okay is ignoring your body telling you that you need to RELAX and SLOW DOWN. We live in a world where we are constantly told that we need to keep working, keep being productive, and keep going and if we don't we are labeled 'lazy' or having a poor 'work ethic' but the truth is having too much of something is never healthy. Taking a mental health day or self-care day can help prevent burnout in the long run by giving your brain some rest from all its hard work. Sometimes you may even need more than just one day to get yourself back feeling right and that is okay too!

In 2023 we are no longer sacrificing our mental well-being and physical health to keep up with a world that is going to always be in constant motion whether we choose to or not.

Do you need a bit more Self-Care in your life? Download your FREE copy of the 30-Day Self-Care Challenge and begin transforming your life TODAY!

#blackboujeebeauty #blog post #self care #blackgirlswhoblog #self love #self development #self growth #gif #made with tumblr #personal development #beauty #mental health #2023 #blog #black woman in luxury #black girl luxury #luxury lifestyle #lifestyle #love

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britneyshakespeare · 1 year ago

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Another Thing Wrong With The Former Gifted Kid Discourse, Since I Can't Stop Thinking About It:

people have such an unhelpful tendency to universalize their own experience when talking about the plights and struggles about Gifted Kids™—and what they are talking about is not necessarily invalid, but they're more often talking about their individual responses to their particular schools' policies. This Is Not A Systemic Analysis. it's helpful; i sympathize with you. But You Are Not Dismantling The Inequities by saying this or that happened At Your School when you were a child, and it affected you this or that way because of Who You Are.

example. i always see people talking about neurodivergence in this conversation, which is actually helpful in spotlighting how the Gifted Kid discourse often glosses over such complex intersectional issues. you can talk about how you were Gifted & Neurodivergent and how those experiences lead you to future disappointment. this is, i must stress, valid. but your analysis of your own life Is Not A Systemic Analysis. your experience alone will never speak for how the educational system and trends in policy among schools across the united states affect ALL neurodivergent people negatively because there are neurodivergent people who are Different From You. not to mention that when people point out that very often "Gifted Kid" usually correlates with some degrees of privilege, people push back and go nooooo I'm neurodivergent. people across all other marginalized identities who are systemically disadvantaged by the educational system can be neurodivergent. this does not make you, initially, when you were as a young Kid determined to be Gifted, NOT also in fact privileged.

if you are not ready to discuss experiences that were different from your own growing up, you aren't really engaging in the discourse of how to improve public education in the united states. it's a diiii-verse country we live in. not only in the ways we traditionally think of. when we think of "marginalized" or "oppressed" people, some specific and historically significant groups come to mind. when it comes to advantages that set up a child for future educational success, these broad categories often leave gaps because they lead people to generalizations, and ultimately, fatalism.

but there's really so much hope in early childhood education if we were to make things more equitable, ie like i always say UNIVERSAL PRE-K. these kids who are determined as "gifted" more often than not were just from more enriched home environments that prepared them for learning how to read, write, and do math. it's often not special innate abilities that leads to differences in outcomes for different students, but That's How The Kids Interpret It When Some of Them Are Called "Gifted." they're more often than not, not doing something that's truly exceptional or precocious for their age. they're displaying signs of age-appropriate development, when often, the kids who may be lagging behind them skill-wise just Haven't Practiced Those Skills As Much.

so yes, that's why there's a correlation in things like upper- and middle-class white kids being seemingly more successful in school (and more commonly deemed "gifted") at a young age. it's from privilege. it's not even just the implicit biases of their educators already working in their favor for their race and class. it's the fact that being more privileged, generally, means their family and parents had all of their basic needs provided for. they had more time to read with you. they could buy more development-promoting toys. they probably had better mental health to cope with the demands of child-rearing. if they suffered chronic or sudden physical health issues, they were insured. privileged children are usually less exposed at a younger age to the harshnesses of this world, as every child should be. ALL of these little advantages build up, in terms of what a child can be provided with before they go to school. anything that's going wrong in a child's family system can negatively impact them without them even being old enough to understand it.

you may not think of yourself as Privileged. you might prefer to think of yourself as Gifted. Gifted is so nice, even if it's demoted to Former Gifted. at one point you were told you were superior and it felt really good. and You, reader, i do not know You. i'm not calling You privileged, even if you are! hell, everyone's privileged in some way. i am at the point in the post where for transparency's sake i think i should say I Could Be What Some People Call "Former Gifted". i was called smart as a kid and given special homework sometimes etc. i'm not calling any Former Gifted people stupid for not realizing this either. what i mean is that this kids Are Not Usually Actually Gifted. this is a compliment given overwhelmingly to children who were just simply not deprived. when people say they were once Gifted, they're more often than not saying I Had The Early Opportunities To Learn Everyone Should Have, But Doesn't. this doesn't make you an outlier. It Might Just Be A Sign of Privilege.

#also I Am Privileged #i wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth in fact my parents were unemployed for much of my childhood #and there were many medical stressors for multiple of my immediate family members that complicated things #my father was diagnosed w type 1 diabetes when he was recently laid off in a pre-affordable care act world.#but in terms of having basic needs met and provided for. i did!#i didn't know the differences for my family's circumstances #also both of my parents are college-educated which helped them get out of that and helped provide for the privilege i was born into.#I Acknowledge These Privileges Not Because They Make Me Bad But Because Not Everyone Has These Things Handed To Them!#privilege doesn't mean you don't struggle. it means you don't struggle as much as you could've.#things couldve been worse #rant #long post #im not making it rebloggable bc i dont trust this website lol #people wanting to say 'im not privileged im neurodivergent' in this convo just grinds my gears #theyre making it seem like 'gifted' = neurodivergent which is NOT true #even if what they were praised for seems in retrospect to them to be their neurodivergent qualities. and #how that might emotionally interact with the future disappointment of realizing you're Not Special.#or even the social isolation you MAYBE experienced from your own school's policies for students like you!#that's again though not a systemic analysis but a personal one. and that's fine. that needs room #but people will assign a disproportionate amount of importance on their individual experience. and deny they could be privileged!#it feels very 'oh officer id never kill my husband' but about privilege lol.#its ok to be privileged. its ok #if those privileges are that you were regularly fed and lived in a stable home and your parents were there for you then thats a good thing.#universal pre-k is what ive been driving home but really all other systemic inequalities affect educational success is what im saying.#much like suicide prevention is more than just having a hotline. it's correcting the injustices of the world that make ppl feel hopeless.#educational justice is providing an equitable world for all children SO THAT they are capable of being reached by education #let's acknowledge the layers please. please

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