#Theres so much more i want to say but its not really directly related to this point and i wouldnt know how to phrase it anyway

[myorgansaremelting]

yup.

her first video was on may 12th 2013, making her either 18 or 19 im not sure how it lines up with her bday but i think it's 18.

the really interesting thing about eugina cooney is that to my knowledge she hasn't directly mentioned her eating disorder since the interview with shane dawson, and she's barely even made any reference to it, aside from saying that she's healthy, addressing the fact that she was having visible muscle spasms on stream.

there's been a lot of people who have talked about her and honestly i think they're harmful which has also been talked about. honestly i don't know how online she is, because i know how controlling her mother is, but even if she isn't directly seeing it, her mom most definetly is, and knows that if she keeps euginia like that, she's going to have a continuous stream of money.

oh also the whole thing with i guess rumors that she's feeding into a lot of anorexic fetishists, i dont know how much she does it now bcs I don't watch her tiktok live streams, but i know people were talking about when she was streaming on twitch/youtube that she got more gifts sent the more she appeared to do anorexic stuff (that sounds vauge, but i remember the person talking about like if she'd struggle with something heavy she'd get more gifts or whatever) and i guess like, she's a 30 year old woman so if that's what she wants to do it's her right? but at the same time i do not know how much free will she has because of her mom and the fact that anorexia stunts both physical and emotional development (which is why theres a very big correlation with pedophiles and anorexia fetishists) so i think theres a big part of her that is still functionally a teenager, and tbh i dont kow how much of that (like the overly high pitched voice which is something she does on purpose and the weird persona that she develops that wasn't there in her earlier videos) is actually her and how much of it is for the camera.

oh also speaking of fetish stuff related to eugina cooney theres an absolutely wild theory that she's anorexic because it's... related to her love of the character jack skellington??? also it's really interesting that eugina cooney and tara terroful who i think are 2 of the most prominent online anorexics both love jack skellington. not that it has anything to do with that as its a popular movie/character it's just a shared characteristic i noticed.

it’s so crazy. my mom would probably kill herself if I looked like Eugenia but her mom doesn’t even care

[keeperofthebox]

This is kind of just an unhinged meta rant about Rymin so do with it what you will. It's about Ryan's parents and how, despite having very little screentime, they really play into the story and the disagreements that Ryan and Min-gi have.

Ryan's dad only has one line and it's to give exposition to the fact that he's from a large family. That's all any of the Akagis say about Ryan. They aren't paying any attention to him or what he's doing in the BBQ scene in the twin tapes. Ryan is the exact middle child, and I think that was chosen intentionally to drive this point home. Them overlooking him leads to a lot of his outbursts throughout the season (quotes may not be exact because im not going back to look) -- "Our parents are probably wondering where we are. Or, at least... yours are." (the old west car), "Why doesn't anyone care about how I feel?" (the art gallery car), "At least your parents actually care about you!" (the mega maze car), and "No one cares about me unless I'm doing... something." (honestly cannot remember which episode and I'm too lazy to look it up). Ryan's parents' absence from book four is purposeful -- their lack of presence says just as much about Ryan as Min-gi's parents presence says about Min-gi.

Ryan has a big personality. He's a performer. He loves dressing up in crazy outfits and he loves looking cool. I don't think these things necessarily stem from emotional neglect as a child, but they are affected by it. He craves attention and he hasn't been getting it, and that leaves him with severe issues when it comes to dealing with his feelings. All of those quotes I mentioned are him lashing out, seeking attention from Min-gi, hoping that Min-gi will notice how much he's hurting from being ignored -- but every time, Min-gi redirects back to his own family issues.

Min-gi is from the opposite situation. I don't have as much to say here because the show is much more blatant about it, but his parents give him too much attention. They hover, they tell him what to do and how to do it. He is being slowly crushed by their expectations. He wants the same things as Ryan -- to make music, to perform, albeit for... lets say artsier reasons than Ryan does. But he's been taught those things are childish. He needs to be the responsible one, and clearly he's the only one with a good head on his shoulders, considering what Ryan is like. He lashes out at Ryan constantly, especially in the early part of the season, for continually dragging him into impulsive plans.

He wants Ryan to conform to societal norms, like he does, like his own parents taught him, so that Ryan will stop getting them into messes. However, Min-gi doesn't see that Ryan's personality and mental health issues don't give him the option to conform (creds to tumblr user vexahlla for that phrasing ... her tags on this post made my brain explode). He says "I couldn't get into uni if I tried" (the mega maze car). This is a whole other rant but Ryan also displays symptoms of bipolar disorder throughout the season which indicates to me that his brain chemistry would not physically allow him to slow down and follow a "typical" life path without genuine help (not the needling Min-gi was doing in the astro queue car). I think these problems that the show alludes to would have been alleviated a lot more if he'd had more help from his parents, but again, he's dealt with emotional neglect since he was tiny.

So Ryan and Min-gi end up as an unstoppable force and an unmovable object (which... now that i think about it... is a pretty accurate description of them as people, too). They both want to play music, but Ryan needs it immediately, because he needs the attention that he's not getting at home. He wants to get away, and fast. However he doesn’t realize that getting away without Min-gi is pointless, because Min-gi is who he actually wants attention from anyway. On the other hand, Min-gi can't leave immediately, especially when he thinks there's a particular life path he needs to follow. Both desperately want the other in their life, which keeps driving them back together, but they butt heads because their upbringings are so opposite.

This issue doesn't exactly get resolved in book four, but it doesn't need to, either. Book four ends with Ryan and Min-gi apologizing, and agreeing to stop sweeping things under the rug, actually try to look at each other fully, and see where the other person is coming from. So it's definitely a start to mending the gap between them and i think that's enough.

[arctichangovr]

Some thoughts on Mouthwashing ive been having...

the fact that at the end of the game, Jimmy still doesn't understand what he needs to take responsibility for. he thinks its for hurting Curly and crashing the ship when really he needs to take responsibility for a lot more than that, like manipulating Daisuke and assaulting Anya. It's like what Polle says at the end of the game, "If all of that is true... why are you still so concerned with him?" Jimmy is too arrogant and self-absorbed to really even take responsibility at all. Even in his final moments, he shifts the responsibility to Curly, making sure he is the one with the chance of survival by putting him in the pod and calling him "captain", putting him in charge.

After Anya's death, there's the appearance of multiple flowers in areas relating to her, like her grave and the vents. I recognize these flowers - they're actually quite popular in Queensland, where I'm from. I'm pretty sure it's a Hibiscus, with meanings often associated with personal power, fame, and glory. Personally, I reckon this meaning relates directly back to Anya's assault and the power that Jimmy held over her (and also the fame and glory meanings remind me of the fact that women are often seen as prizes to be won, sexual prizes). Flowers in media are also associated with sexual organs or pleasure, and then there's the fact that flowers are pollinated, which just reminds me of Jimmy's assault on Anya and giving her this unwanted pregnancy. the fact that these flowers show up in her section absolutely disgusts me, as it's the way Jimmy sees her, as a flower, weak, fragile, and to be pollinated.

And that whole dead pixel scene with Anya and Curly - I don't see a lot of people talking about that. the fact that Anya was able to see the dead pixel clearly, while Curly couldn't find it at all, symbolizes to me the fact that Anya was fully aware of the monster that Jimmy was and what he was capable of, while Curly was still stuck in his optimistic "a bad action doesn't make you a bad person" rose-tinted glasses.

And then the fact that the only time Anya is mentioned or hinted at after her death is in the form of a womb and a monstrous baby, which looks like the Polle statue. Jimmy truly did not care for her at all. all he can see in her is his own punishment and the consequences of his actions. She is viewed as only her womb, only what is growing inside her, only as an object. and the baby being in the form of a horse for Pony Express shows how he really doesn't view the fetus as a real biological entity, but instead the fear of what could happen to him after the ship arrives at his destination. Jimmy has never cared for Anya. he doesn't view his assault as wrong.

and then when Anyas about to die and she talks about how Jimmy was right, and she should've done this from the beginning, that just makes me feel like he's told her to off herself in the past?? which is just so insane if true

Theres literally so much I could talk about with this game, I could write a whole essay. actually, if anyone wants me to write an essay about this game I absolutely will. but these are just some thoughts I had that I haven't seen many people talking about elsewhere, so I thought id put them here. Anyway, Mouthwashing is an amazing game. Probably one of my top ten now.

If ive made a point you disagree with or want to add onto, let me know in the comments. I'm always up for a discussion!

[s0lar-ch3ri]

thinking about him (spoilers for jrwi)

thinking about how in atleast 2 scenarios chip has blamed himself more then needed, first with ollie ("i took him from his home") then with gillion ("i gave him the card") and each time he tried to put on a confident face but really it ate away at him inside.

thinking about how gillion is constantly taking on responsibility and chip canonically sees gillion as inspiration (humble beginnings, bizly says the inspo from the future is from gillion tidestrider) and its not like he only takes some blame but usually its all the blame because gillion knows how to acknowledge his faults somewhat.

thinking about how chip takes promises ever so seriously (ie, not even doing simple lies after promising gill that he wouldnt) yet hes such an example of "change doesnt happen overnight" and how he acts can be directly or indirectly related to past adventures and/or trauma (probably even how he copes is atleast somewhat connected to the guy he killed under price).

thinking about how chip grew up looking up to arlin and seeing what a great example of pirates the black rose were and trying to be something atleast somewhat great and feeling like he failed when hes the only one on deck with somewhat an idea of what a pirate is.

thinking about how chip would lie to protect his friends yes but became a lying machine to protect himself before and hid his intents because while he can absolutely trust his crew his instinct is too not because he got used to being on his own and putting himself first and now hes around people (mostly gill) who put themselves before him to help protect him.

thinking about how easily gillion made friends with people on islands and eventually it rubbed onto chip too (ie: gryffin, felipe, etc) as he unlearned the idea that hes alone in a cruel world that only exists to make him suffer and theres a light in everyones life that makes it even just slightly better, no matter the background (main example is gill again).

thinking about how much gillion is willing to sacrifice for his friends and when felipe wanted to stab him every night, it was chip who tried to talk sense into gill because he cares for gillion and (most likely) was worried that felipe may be lying about healing and may full on kill him.

and all these thoughts (and more) make me feel so much when they found the empty rowboat with nothing but ashes and a fiendish smell and gillion starts blaming himself so chip grabs his shoulders and says "its not your fault, you werent the one who made him grab the card" because somewhere in my heart it feels like maybe chip isnt just talking to gill but to the part of himself that keeps on trying to hold onto every wrong hes done, every sin that keeps him up at night, every lie that is amplified in his skull, that he deserves forgiveness and not everything in the world lays on his shoulders.

and with these thoughts, one more comes to mind: chip and gillion are so similar in backgrounds and morals and thats why theyre the ones that break each others walls and misunderstand each other and fight because they probably dont even fucking see it.

[bawmbo]

hi. decided that i can probably ramble a little bit in general here

i realize that theres not a lot of content revolving around the star sanses (and no jab and nightmare and the crew, all of them are interesting characters in their own respects, both together and separately) but. id say so for the stars too

i want to introduce the concept of cross joins the stars too. obviously take my character readings with a hint of salt because some of it is a personal twist on how i see the characters and i wont ever be able to recreate them as accurately as their creators do but imo cross doesnt seem like the guy to want to further havoc across the multiverse or bend to every one of nightmares whims. i think that would drive both of them up the wall

but say ink takes in cross, or dream, or blue finds him and drags him home. their roles are pretty interchangeable in that scenario. dragging home a grumpy cat, he doesnt want to be there. not at all. but everyone has food and water and theyre learning to respect his space and quickly cross realizes hes been kidnapped into a team of idiots that hes now having to call friends that are widely known and trusted as the guardians of this multiverse. great

they all anchor each other nicely in personality and battle. dream and ink struggle with similar feelings, though not directly the same, but having to be tied to a job and a one-dimensional purpose; not feeling as though they belong in any specific space (not feeling connected to the people around them for very different reasons, but otherwise not validating their humanity). both of them disagree on the end solution, "everyone needs to be saved and i want everyone to be happy" versus "not everyone can be saved for this to continue." imo creators and nim, whatever they have going on, can be really easily tied into some religious metaphors or trauma but i digress

blue can be a nice middle ground of either. he holds a more realistic view of it and has to completely reconstruct his world view after being taken out of his timeline. its scary fighting battles when your other two teammates are functionally immortal (with minor exceptions) and you are very aware of your mortality and where your feet are in battle. they love you and respect you just as much but everyone is scared for the day that you actually bite the dust. some people have the misconception that youre actually immortal when they havent heard of you. and adding cross in on it is so much better for relatability, for schedule and stability. is it selfish to be scared to die first? theres so much more going for you.

i have so much to say about dream as a character in general but i will be quiet. for two seconds to continue

cross and ink are horrible at the emotional aspects of battle de-escalation, both can be blunt and mocking or cruel. they can be jerks but usually accidentally. so dream and blue handle the emotional aspects and its easier

but dream and blue arent so good at being mean immediately and cross can put his foot down really easily.

all of them could be really close with each other. dream and ink can start off rocky and everyone in that group can annoy each other but id argue that they can be very close. i think the harsh affects of being widely idolized or demonized / the general public having such a polarized view on you would be interesting to explore too. how would it affect their personal relationships? people dont let nightmare and his crew just waltz around their house, how do they feel about the stars? are they angry they cant save everyone? are they happy they do their jobs? they dont know everything about them. and the stars are at most just 4 people out of thousands and thousands of people who could potentially need saving. i think even in a lighthearted way, a lot of the dynamics in that group could be really interesting if it was explored. isnt it funny to imagine seeing the multiverses widest known heroes wearing cat pajamas and doing summersaults for fun over park benches, playing respective instruments in the center of the city block? oh look at those guys. theyre actually just a little more eccentric than normal people. and now theyre playing uno and now theyre taking random arm wrestling requests from strangers. one of inks dads is a clown and there he is dressed up as one. hes also the local tailor. blue is devastated watching as his brother who no one ever sees is dragging an entire pallet of honey away that he was just putting down.

anyways i love writing and i think a lot of characters have a lot of writing potential. theres so many scenarios to put them in and i want to explore how everything they have to go through affects them

[psihawaii]

i know nothing about mashup week but i do wanna hear ur thoughts on trans scott

first of all: thank you for indulging me!!

second of all: obligatory LISTEN/READ MASHUP WEEK: MEGAMIX!! ill probably make a separate propaganda post anyway but plsss. mashup tournament that scott won three years ago that he now has to host and interview every1 and i like how he’s written better than most collabs (where hes not just. himself obviously.) write him. host says the tournament is a lot more like wii sports resort now and doesnt elaborate.

third of all: ooooooooookay so. This really got away from me im gonna put the rest under a readmore.

i’m gonna refer to them w/ they/them just for simplicity, but let the record show i don’t think they care that much either way/i switch up pronouns whenever i talk abt stw AHDHDJ (my main hc for a while was no pronouns scott just bc of how the descriptions are written hahahahahaha get itttttttttt)

i’ve Alwaysssss thought scott (the character obvi. do i have to keep clarifying that here too, im always gonna be referring to the character in this postSHDJDJ) was trans ever. since i joined the fandom in late 2021. Partly because borderline forever reminds me a lot of how i realized i was nonbinary (realizing somethings wrong and then course correcting by just… doing the opposite and wondering why that couldnt possibly be the solution.) but mostly because borderline forever is just Like That. . But more on that later

OUTSIDE OF THAT so much of how they act is sosososo deeply trans to me, or at the very least very egg-like and in denial deeply. THE THING that got me deep into stw initially was gifts of gaming because what the fuck man. scott’s very public breakdown because they feel extremely alienated from their peers and that this isn’t an isolated incident!!!!!! (finding other people unrelatable that is (and that’s probably also an autism and/or aroace thing but it can be all of those at once. Smile.) like so often is scott self deprecating abt how nobody cares abt them or their interests or how desperate they are for attention. dude.)

and like. okay so i made an entire nonbinary dysphoria comp already but there are so many. weird throwaway jokes. that aren’t… you know directly about them being trans/dysphoric but about how they hate facial hair or their voice or hated that they couldn’t have ‘girl toys’ growing up or that they shower fully clothed or that they’ll just. roleplay as a girl.

(and i was gonna have a whole bit about… i think you could make some kind of point about how scott ‘roleplays’ as a girl in specifically romantic/flirting contexts (tinder + speed dating) and how that could play jnto their dysphoria, but i also do just think they’re aroace. but there’s something there)

and no matter the intention of the jokes they’re still like. canon. (and i was gonna do a whole thing abt how scott the woz (the show) treats continuity basically being that. jokes + ‘throwaway lines’ establish canon things because they keep being brought back, and that lore is (with few exceptions) consistent. it’s fun. and meaning that these things are (assumedly) things scott thinks/does/how they act even off screen.)

and also i guess if im gonna talk abt trans scott i could At Least dedicate an entire paragraph to borderline forever because holy shit man. Before i rewatched a bunch of episodes this year, i of course had it in my head that borderline forever was totally trans coded but i sorta reasoned that that was my own headcanon clouding my perception and that it wouldnt be that blatant (<in quotes because im sure The Man Himself didnt intend for it to be read this way, but its fun to interpret it as such) but no it really is.

what do u mean theres been an unseen force in your life that’s always been there but you hadn’t noticed until you experienced internalized transphobia talked about something tangentially related, that’s now preventing you from living your life and doing the things you want to do. That isn’t directly harming you, and that other people can’t notice so they dismiss you. What do u mean.

Closing in is literally a song about how they can’t believe they’ve been living their life like this and how they feel like they’re suffocating from the idea of continuing to live like this. They saw the border glow. If you will (sorry.)

The ending of borderline forever is pretty… its… well i guess for me to really have definitive thoughts on it i would have to decide on what i think the allegory is because scott taking the border back serves different purposes for different ones, good and bad. In terms of the trans allegory, I initially considered that it was like him. Accepting transness as part of themselves and learning to live with it and move on from that (effectively transitioning just not. Outwardly (?)). Until my boyfriend (forced to watch every scott the woz lore episode for (for the most part) the first time with me) pointed out n. No it kinda just seems like they can’t imagine themselves as any different/better and thinks This Is As Good As It Gets so they retreat back to their status quo. And like. Huh. Yeah. 100% it’s still affecting them negatively and they hate it but they’re ignoring it now they saved the world and they never have to succumb to the horror of being understood and perceived i mean no one else has to worry abt this ever again.

like… two years ago i wrote a fic about nonbinary scott called Abiura Di Me (it’s never getting finished, i was originally gonna do a little comic to end things off but it felt kind of ehh. the only way i’m finishing it is if i completely start over. which who knows.) and, despite not rlly having this interpretation at the time, i did want to kind of explore scott like that, thinking they’re ‘content’ with their life now and wondering why they still feel unhappy/unfulfilled.

In general scott feels like a character that’s so… rigid and strict with their identity/attributes of themselves in a way that, often, makes them miserable, or at the very least in a way that they’re self deprecating abt like i said b4. (i.e. their virginity, and how it oscillates something they take pride in vs. something that they’re ashamed of (b4 accepting it in barrel blast)(youtuber slash tumblr user prim m, in description of their barrel blast mashup did a rlly interesting lil. few sentences of analysis abt this in particular!!), but is, to them at least, a key part of who they are that they have to keep asserting + how they talk abt themselves liking video games and how, similarly it oscillates between smthn that brings them a lot of joy and again, smthn that they’re ashamed of thats another reason they feel isolated, but is nonetheless. Probably THE defining thing about scott.)

And while this^ feels like a general internalized transphobia thing, it’s probably THE reason i think they’re nonbinary specifically, although i fuck with transfem scott severely. I really like the idea of scott unburdening themselves from any kind of labels and kinda just being happy Existing, it’s essentially what they already want/think they already have just with less expectation put upon them to perform. You could say. Preventing themselves from being put into a box or. Or yknow… some kind of blue borde-[i am killed.]

But anyway to answer your question trans scott is my lifeblood i love them a lot. I like… half joke their egg has been fully cracked now bc of the bits they’re pulling now (mainly. Changing their name in same name, different game and. all of gamer products.) (and side note even though i can glean Transness from any1 of these jokes and that… in a lot of cases scott Is the butt of the joke in them they don’t rlly feel meanspirited most of the time. whether thats bc im in denial ro theres smthn to it thats any1s guess. Tee hee.) i think they’re figuring stuff out and how they want to be perceived and if this is really something they want for themselves (is, but going abt it weirdly/making a joke of it and not taking it seriously (again, goes w the whole self deprecating rigid identity thing!!)

I don’t think scott changes much upon transitioning. Even though i think in the stw universe hrt/gender affirming surgery does… pretty much whatever you want it to and none of what you don’t want (i’m going off the… one ama where he said smthn along the lines of the stw universe is a perfect bubble where nothing bad happens + being able to get treated for murder + how i think scott the real person would think that kinda stuff works AHDNDIJDDJ and also cus i think its funny) i dont think scott would Want to change much physically. But i really like the idea of them keeping dyed blue bits framing their face (get it.) + slightly longer hair. and boobs cause i think thats awesome. personality wise they’re exactly the same and still suck though. But w/o shame and i love them

[todayisafridaynight]

Do you mind dumping all of your thoughts on ebina for us?

i dont even know where to begin on ebina he just sucks major horse cock and i cant be swayed on this but ill put it under the cut for everyones sake. this is rambly as hell too idc i refuse to spend any more time thinking about ebina more than i already do

like what is his purpose. like i KNOW his purpose but it sucks- him being a Plot Twist baby is the dumbest shit in the world and they dont even ATTEMPT to do anything meaningful with it i do not care what anyone says

why even HAVE HIM be related to ichiban if he never even interacts with ichi in a meaningful way, esp when ichi's whole theme is family-- WHEN THE GAME IS LITERALLY ABOUT ICHI MEETING HIS MOM (or it was until they decided they didnt care about akane in the plot anymore)

like we mentioned it before here but if you have to have ebina related to a yakuza from the past for his ol Bring Down The Yakuza gig then why not make him an orphan from kazama's orphanage ???? literally nothing wouldve changed except it would've made more sense with how much kiryu deals with him instead of ichi. it wouldve been a great way to round things off with kiryu's saga too, what with having to confront the consequences of kazama's actions directly and finally and officially burst that fanatic bubble of his (i dont wanna HEAR nothing about gaiden that's not enough for me im GREEDY). theres something in here too about kiryu and daigo but i cant articulate it... i just know that wouldve been better too .... something something kiryu brought daigo into this life and now that he sees kazama 'bring' ebina into this life hes projecting ... idk ..

the game def didnt seem to give a fuck that ebina was arakawa's son considering they fucking revealed it in a bland-ass in-game cutscene FROM DAIGO OF ALL PEOPLE daigo respectfully why the fuck do you know this

i dont know how many people watch my streams but i was so obnoxious about ebina's villain monologue before his fight because its just ...... it just SCREAMS Hey You Guys Remember Aoki Right. fucking Masumi Arakawa Had Two Sons: One Who Loved Him And One Who Hated Him LITERALLY SHUT UP AND DIE I HATE YOU MASATO ARAKAWA WAS RIGHT THERE AND HE DID IT BETTER THAN YOU fucking stealing his bleach japan shit too. you might be able to steal bleach japan and piss me off about it the entire time because fucking everyone and their grandmother besides zhao seems to have forgotten fucking bleach japan but you can NOT steal Number One Hater Son from masato arakawa GET AWAY FROM HER 🗣️🗣️🗣️ 'why did masumi arakawa have to get himself killed' BECAUSE HIS NUMBER ONE HATER SON HAD HIM KILLED BECAUSE HE WAS A BETTER HATER THAN YOU SHUT UP

another thing that pissed me off to no end was the sawashiro shit fuckin Oh He Kept Him Alive Because He Wanted Him To Stop Him SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP I HATE YOU . i really wouldve preferred if they just killed sawashiro like old man why are you here- WE DIDNT EVEN GET TO SEE YOUR EYE GET GOUGED but im getting off topic. NOTHING bout what we've seen from ebina could convince me he Wanted To Be Stopped like absolutely nothing i dont want to hear this bullshit excuse. it is MERELY just reminding me of ichi being like 'i wish i couldve been there to stop you' @ aoki and its making me pissed

like im the only person who cares this intensely because im the only person who likes aoki enough like this and im trying NOT to mention him so much and just focus on ebina but its just so annoying... like its impossible NOT to see the parallels, especially when the game is practically bashing it into my brain every three seconds. like if we're talking aoki/masato-adjacent antags then i like eiji so its not the fact that HE IS aoki adjacent that pisses me off its just that he has no agency OUTSIDE of being a ghost of him. like there's nothing interesting about him in the slightest and he's barely even on screen why are you forcing me to give a fuck about this twat. if anything the one aoki thing i wish they did mirror onto him was dying at the end i do not care about this man

[geodetojoy]

ALRIGHTY i am no longer busy so heres my full thoughts on Newsies :DDD

tagging @royallygray and @mysteriouswolf if yall wanna read :D

ok this shit got LONG so the rest is under the cut

GOD where do I even start its beautiful its wonderful its emotional i love it so much

Ill try not to copy my intermission thoughts too much (if you havent seen those here they are)

Ok lets talk about the history of it. A quick google search says its based on a strike in 1899, and Roosevelt ran for presidency in 1901, so we'll just say the musical takes place in 1899 too (correct me if theres a different confirmed time).

During this time, work conditions are absolute shit, monopolies and trusts are on the rise, and the concept of a union has recently emerged. I really didnt need to say much of this bc its apparent in the musical, but i love historically accurate stuff so deal with it /lh

And in the musical we see the beginnings of Roosevelt's trust-busting and ideas of social equality that he acts on during his presidency (it also kinda ties into his environmentalism stuff a bit too!)

And after reading up a bit on the strike the musical was based on, a lot of the effects of the strike in the musical were historically accurate too! the newsboys could sell back papers they werent able to sell on the streets, but the price was unfortunately not yet lowered. (also, the names of the publishers in the show are historically accurate as well!!! makes my little history brain happy :DDD )

SO whats the point of all of my rambling here?

people make historical art all of the time. we see it in musicals like Annie, Hamilton, and so so many more. obviously this goes beyond musicals here, but since newsies is a musical ill try to stay with that topic.

anyway, we learn about history to learn from it. we see these past issues that our previous generations struggled with, in these art forms as to be easily digestible, and we discover their solutions. we get to see the humanity behind the issues and the conflicts they faced to overcome them. and ofc its not the only reason, but one reason these stories are told with art is to bring attention to them. people are way more likely to listen to music than study a historical textbook. so, they make it entertaining. they make relatable and lovable characters. they make people care about the show and subsequently the issue itself. all of this is to explain how and why things that happened in history are bad as to never repeat them again.

We see these topics of worker mistreatment, corrupt businesses, child labor, gender/sex inequality, and the class separation all brought to the spotlight in this show, and it does a damn good job of showing the pain and suffering they cause. the story of this show is incredible and so very important to learn about.

OK now onto the actual musical itself im done nerding out

ive done a lot of charater analysis already in that intermission post bUT WHO SAYS I CANT DO MORE HAHA

im saving jack for last bc theres so much to unpack there

KATHERINE MY LOVE <3333

Everything about her being a girlboss absolutely remains the same shes INCREDIBLE

and holy shit PULITZER'S HER DAD???? i love her even more. she directly ran away from an easy life to follow her own dreams and pursue her own passion from scratch. incredible. inspiring. mwah

i also just love her personality. shes so bubbly and happy and passionate and bright and optomistic shes the best <3

oh god crutchie. hes absolutely my favorite btw im sorry everyone else i adore him <33333

GOD his prison song actually killed me. im fully dead. deceased.

THE NEWSIES ARE SUCH A FAMILY GAHHH THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH RAHHHH

the sheer ecstasy i felt when he came back and hit Snyder with his cane i could not stop stimming MY BOYYYY

the absolute definition of sunshine character. he sees everything as glass half full and wants just the brightest future he deserves the absolute world

and ik i talked about it earlier but i adore how they take such a neutral opinion about his leg. people give him shit for it, and his brother beat them to a pulp. its just a part of him and they love his whole being, so why would they not love that about him too?

Les only got better as the show went on. i thought he was a smartass before LMAOO

AND THE DATE BIT??? WHERE THE HELL DID THAT COME FROM???? AND IT JUST NEVER GETS BROUGHT UP AGAIN LMAO WHAT

i think the biggest change i felt towards a character was Davey

he grew on me soooooo much his character growth is everything to me

he went from trying to stay out of their business to teaching them what a union was to helping them start it to running it himself when jack ran off to convincing jack to come back when times got tough he is sooo important to the story

and to me. hes important to me <3

OH AND RACE

i saw people mention the name before but i didnt know which he was until they addressed him directly I LOVE THAT GUYYY

especially in king of new york hes got such a big personality what a silly guy

OK now for the guy the silly the mc jack

At the beginning he is entirely driven by both his love for his family and ofc his dream of living in Santa Fe, but atm hes just trying to get by so hes more focused on the newsies. but a boy can dream

then he gets all caught up in the strike business and only focuses on that for a while bc he wants to protect his boys

then shit goes south. they get essentially jumped, and crutchie gets hurt and arrested.

and he thinks, what was it all for? if he couldnt protect his brother (never living that down btw), whats the point of even trying to strike anymore

so he changes his focus back to santa fe. the one thing hes still got going for him.

and he gets confronted by katherine, les, and davey, and they knock some sense into him. stopping the strike isnt going to take away any of the harm done. the danger is expected, theres no way any of this could go down without some form of a casualty. so why not try to do something about it. the only way to make this situation better is to get back in the game and keep pushing for change.

and ofc the thing with katherine which ill talk abt a bit more later

in all of this, something in him changes. he dreamed of santa fe, a simpler life, one where he didnt have to worry about having to afford food and clothing for the next day.

but what he never considered was the loneliness. sure, he offered to bring crutchie and katherine with him, but hed be leaving behind so many more. and thats when he realized he never needed to get out, he just needed things to change a bit. and they did! because of the strike, living became so much more affordable. no it wasnt perfect, but it was enough to be safe and secure, just like he wanted. and he had his family beside him the whole time.

ill admit that before i sat and thought about it for a while, this ending was really unsatisfactory to me. i mean we got how many santa fe reprises? all for naught?

but in reality, santa fe would never be enough for him. hes just so used to this life surrounded by the people he cares most about and doing everything in his power to protect him, hed just be so bored, so understimulated, and hed just continue to yearn for more. that path of wanting would never come to a conclusion and hed live his life never truly being happy. so i really do thing he made the right choice in staying, because new york became his santa fe. he didnt need to seek it out, it came to him.

Ok now with him and katherine

ill start by saying i do really adore them. i feel like a lot of what im about to say might seem like i think otherwise, but i truly do think theyre very sweet

ok so every interaction of theirs in act one was. very uncomfortable to say the least. he honestly seemed really predatory at times and it just really felt like an old-timey romance where the girl doesnt know her worth so she flocks to any guy that shows interest in hr bc she thinks its her only purpose

now obviously that is NOT the truth, those were just my first impressions. Katherine is extremely capable of taking care of herself and deciding what is and isnt right for her, she likes jack purely because she can and does. she knows her worth and just likes him bc she likes him, no strings attached

i will say the first kiss kinda caught me off guard lmao. like i knew they were gonna be a thing but that is NOT how i expected that to go down. its likely just bc of my aroace-ness but i saw no sign of them actually getting together prior to that, aside from them being the main man and leading lady in the show so ofc they have to be together. i mean ig her reaction to him drawing her was a bit of a hint but still. ok maybe its just bc im demi. hadnt thought abt that until now. damn. is this a normal thing? maybe it is. maybe im being too harsh. idk lmao

anyway ill admit the kiss was successful in getting his attention and getting him to listen to her so ill give it that lmaoo but tbh i did tune a bit of their song out bc it started to make me a bit uncomfy but i did liste back to it later on. they really seem to have a healthy relationship where they both care about the other and know the other is strong enough on their own, they just both want to be a part of the other's life. its really sweet! theyre so supportive of each other!!! green flags all around!!!

the bit with him learning shes pulitzers daughter was really interesting to me. at first she tries to talk to him but he kinda brushes her off, but from then on he just kinda has full faith in her? i mean yeah he gets upset about it bc he thinks she lied to him, but i dont think he thought she had any ill intentions. that was a complicated sentence lmaoo damn. i think he really understood that she wanted to help, he was just caught up in a lot of Feelings and was afraid that she wasnt trustworthy despite him still trusting her. and then he let her explain and from then on they fully support the other and trust each other immensely

so yeah first impressions were a bit iffy but i think theyre very sweet <333

OK GOD CAN I GUSH ABOUT THE STAGE DESIGN FOR A BIT???? GAHHH

i mean the moving stairs and scaffolding arent new. i know this. but just the way they frame scenes with the scaffolding is stunning. the chase scenes??? dude. enthralling. the bits where theyre in the city and they have people just up their acting like civilians? SO cool. makes it incredibly more realistic and believable. and the way they projected images onto the curtain-like things they pulled down was extremely creative!!! like in theory its such a simple design. it was literally nothing more than the scaffolding and stairs, and a few tables and wagons and such in certain areas. but they did SO much with it it was hard to believe it took place on a stage. ofc the filming helps with that but still. the start felt like it was on the roof of the building bc of a combination of the lighting and the use of just one of the scaffolding pieces. and when theyre in buildings, the wall of scaffolding works really well as a backdrop!!! and i already talked about the city street scenes, it fits perfectly. god its so inspiring id love to be behind something like that one day

OK AND THE CHOREO??? the sheer ENDURANCE of these people HOLY I COULD NEVER. THE FLEXIBILITY? THEYRE ALL LITERAL GYMNASTS WTF ARE THESE FLIPS AND HANDSTANDS IM SORRY???? holy shit its all SOSOSO impressive

oh my god i havent even talked about the MUSIC yet

if i had to choose a favorite song, a, i would punch whoever told me that in the face, and b, i would simply combust bc i cant choose just one

my top three tho would have to be between king of new york, carrying the banner, and crutchies prison song (idk the name its not on spotify :'((((( ) in no particular order

i havent had them on repeat enough to have any memorized, but i did remember santa fe, carrying the banner, and the world will know from the last time i watched it and i belted along to all the parts i knew this music is so good at hyping me up I WANNA START A UNION

and oh my god katherines voice???? stunning. her song is sooooo good. her part in king of new york is incredible. i love her <3

jesus christ this post got out of control. im still not done lmaooo

ok one thing that really has nothing to do with the musical itself is just the fact that it reminded me of so many other musicals ive seen at specific parts, even some of the songs sound like others i know.

Santa Fe really reminds me of Maybe from Annie, both music-wise and lyric wise. i mean theyre both "i want" songs so it makes sense but i feel like they sound kinda similar too. honestly a lot of the music sounds like Annie, but maybe its just the types of instruments used and thats just how musicals sounded when they were made. i think they were made about the same time. *checks spotify* ok well the newsies i listen to was produced like 40 years after Annie so maybe that just a stylistic choice-

idk why but the beginning of watch what happens sounds like the intro to reginas speaking part in meet the plastics lmao-

oh and brooklyn's here has the same beat as the military from Seussical but thats just bc its a marching song lmao. its also the same beat as the spanish alphabet song my spanish teacher used to use!

ok and this one really doesnt make sense but something to believe in reminds me of the power in me from Twisted lmao- kinda similar message ig? and sound vaguely similar? but idk it really doesnt make too much sense

i should. i should sum it up. this is getting out of hand.

okay i love this musical sm. clearly. do you see how long this post is. i was missing out when i refused to listen to it previously. oh my god.

and for some reason it really makes me wanna go watch my favorite musical so im ending this here TO YOUTUBE I GOOOOO TY FOR READING IF YOU DID AND TY TO ROYAL FOR UNINTENTIONALLY PUSHING ME TO WATCH THIS HAVE A GREAT DAYYYY

[a-slut-for-smut]

Nanamin deserves better than Mei Mei

Don’t forget how creepy she is towards Ui Ui

Ya know, I really wish people were more willing to think critically about the stories they consume vs taking every at face value. Sure, when you see something questionable in a story, question it, but immediately writing off the story/story element as “problematic” just because you don't like it or triggers you is such a disservice not only to the storyteller but also yourself by stunting your own media literacy skills.

As ive addressed why NanaMei pair well in previous asks, i'll focus more on the controversy revolving around Mei Mei because its something i really want to get off my chest. The more i think about the arguments made against her the more i get these puritanical and anti feminist/non-conformist vibes from them and its really concerning to say the least.

She's Greedy/Selfish

Yes, shes money hungry. She shamelessly honest with what she likes and what she wants; she has a personal code/credo and stanchly follows it and its hard not to respect that energy. She's motivated and grounded in a way that seems out of place in the 'sorcerers must protect humans' fantasy world, but in the real world? Of course we'd look out for our own self-interest/preservation- shes as real and relatable as they come. She's logically driven (vs emotionally) and honestly if she was a man i bet the fandom wouldn't blink an eye (and prob would slobber all over him) but as always God forbid women have a strong sense of self and refuse to conform to the patriarchal ideals of what a woman should be.

THAT panel

A lot of the fandom screaming in*cest & p*edophile for this panel and i'll admit not surprised it raised eyebrows but not really reading this as sexual. Yes theres nudity, but body language makes it pretty obvious if nudity is sexual or not and well, its not- and how the first thing fandom thinks is "omg they f*cked" because shes topless or whatever is very telling. It's not a stretch to think she would be comfortable with nudity and a sense of propriety seems out of character with someone as shameless as her. She probably splurges on 1000 thread-count Egyptian cotton sheets with all the money she makes, who wouldnt regularly sleep nude on those?

As for UiUi its inferred he used his CT to escape/save their lives directly before, all the more reason he would be tired. Mei Mei even apologies for waking him, implying his CT exerts him and he should rest for the day. Ui UI’s “oh my how shameless!” is said in surprise, indicating he probably blacked out after his CT and woke up fully clothed in bed with her, NOT that he’s tired from having a wild night banging his sister 🙄

I wonder about the japanese dialogue and if there is any nuance/context lost from the english translation, but I interpreted her "Do you not like me that way" was in reference to the shamelessness of her personality, essentially asking him "do you not like me the way I am?" and not her nude body because the translation used "that way" vs "this way", the latter being suggestive. And the fact that they shared a bed to sleep didnt seem OOC given their close familial dynamic.

Sibling Relationship

Its established in-universe that they are "calculating", so naturally they work very much in tandem as far as motivations go and re-enforced from what we seen in their battle tactics. Clearly Mei Mei is offense and 99% of the time can handle any issue on her own, but for that 1% she cant? Thats where Ui Ui steps in.

Ui Ui would never be in danger if Mei Mei is around, and fandom seems to ignore this fact when they say Mei Mei manipulates him to self-sacrifice himself (and her crows) for her benefit. If Mei Mei is fighting and her life's at risk, yall think Ui Ui (or the crows for that matter) stand a chance?? Maybe if he could teleport away himself which is what his CT suggests, but who really knows, and more importantly would he even consider abandoning his sister from what we seen?

I see it as a failsafe CT, only to be used in emergencies since it drains him considerably as Malaysia scene suggests- which is why he wholeheartedly waits (and binding vow) for permission from her to use it, not as a form of control or abuse or simply to please her, but to know if/when as accordance to the battle strategy mapped out by her. Shes shown as a tactician/extremely logical when it comes to battle and will use whatever is at her disposal to win if it means self-preservation (even if it means abandoning the battlefield altogether). Her loyalty is to herself above all.

And her asking “are you willing to die for me” is literally asking consent- she is asking, 'this could be the end- will you do what’s necessary for me to win this?' To which he resoundingly concurs, seemingly out of devotion but realistically if she dies where would that leave him? It’s as natural a response as one could be- in nature mothers will fight tooth & nail to protect their offspring, but at the cost of her life? What would be the point??? Offspring wouldn’t be able to survive without her, they’d be good as dead.

As far as their dynamic, there is clear affection from both sides- Mei Mei is more playful while Ui Ui is reverent. Ui Ui adores her, not atypical of a much younger sibling, but especially so given how accomplished Mei Mei is. It's stated that she inherited their weak family cursed technique, but rather than be solely defined by it, she trained herself to the maximum physical limit, THEN mastered her so called "weak" technique into one of the strongest out there (probably why she acknowledges Maki as a promising sorcerer, she sees herself in her).

If that isn't admirable than i dont know what is, and if GOJO of all people respects her, then thats saying something. But while he respects her and acknowledges her strength, does he trust her? Probably not, not like he does with Utahime who is supposedly "weak" in comparison. And i personally like that dynamic- despite not trusting her to "do the right thing" and expecting her to be self-serving, Gojo knows/respects her as a person and fellow sorcerer. Gege gives us layered interpersonal relationships between multi-faceted characters and yet so many are quick to reduce them to a single trope and its a little sad honestly.

In conclusion, yall need to relax on the pearl-clutching and have a little more perspective by all means hate on her if you dont like her but at least hate her accurately lol

[bucketspammer4life]

You cannot defeat the pasta

Hcs on Pizza Pasta being a good but unhinged uncle to Mac and revealing that he didn’t die and the boxers are simply

why must you torture me 💔💔💔 eughhhhfuheheı where is the pasta exterminators

hcs below

Boxers reactions to pizza pasta being alive and related to Mac™

uh oh

glass joe

- kinda knew he was still alive, still shocked

- him being related to Mac on the other hand?? Refuses to believe it

- pissed off at pizza pasta for not making it clear hes alive sooner

von kaiser

- doesnt give a shit, Why should he care about some italian man with a dumb name??

- looked at pizza pasta and Mac together and saw the resemblance a bit

- He was the one who started the "pizza pasta got memory loss and is living in belgium" joke

- He wins the idgaf war anyday

Disco Kid

- Just happy to see Mac happy to have his uncle back

- doesnt see the resemblance but still ok

- thinks he shouldve stayed as a real estate agent but not telling that directly to his face

- finds him strange

king hippo

- also couldnt care enough

- doesnt see the resemblance but doesnt care enough to say anything about it

- likes making fun of his nam

- dissapointed in him for just dissapearing one day

piston hondo

- jawdrop.

- in denial & confused

- "they dont.. they dont look like each other.."

- "hes his uncle not his dad"

- doesnt really know what to think

bear hugger

- happy for them

- "damn you found your uncle? good for you"

- doesnt see the resemblance but not willing to say it to their face since he thinks its rude

- a bit shocked but mainly happy

great tiger

- He already knew, pizza contacted him first and told him the news

- Just watching this all unfold

- thinks its hilarious to watch everyone just go nuts

- doesnt see the resemblance like most

don flamenco

- He heard it from Tiger since hes always up to date on the gossip

- digging into official paperwork to see if they are related or its more of a found family kind of thing

- the only thing amusing to him is everyones reactions, he couldnt care less

Aran Ryan

- finds it funny how Mac is related to the funny dinner name man

- "so yer italian, huh?"

- "yeah??"

- "HAHAHA!!-"

- making fun of pizza pasta enough to almost bully him back into going back to being a lawyer

Soda Popinski

- suprised, but not that much since word spread arounds,specifically from a matador who likes to go through legal paperwork for juicy secrets and chugs cocktails like theres no tomorrow

- thinks its funny how Mac is related to the funny italian man

- finds it nice how he was able to find Mac back

Bald Bull

- oh no hes pissed off... He has beef with pizza pasta over some stuff i cannot disclose or he will punch me to the stratosphere

- thinks pizza pasta looks uglier than Mac, says it to his face

- thinks that he "shouldve stayed dead" and also says that to his face

- calling pizza pasta a coward for not taking the heat and just dissapearing

Super Macho Man

- also knew it early, specifically from a magician who flies around a lot

- in denial but also accepting?

- wished pasta came back "looking less ugly"

- shit talking pizza pasta with bull, the girls are fightinggg

Mr Sandman

- since he was tried with him, hes a bit pissed off but happy he has a worthy opponent back again

- doesnt really care about the family reunion thing but still happy for Mac

- wants to hurt back into boxing with him

now...

Pizza Pasta as an uncle for Mac™

- pizza pasta decked Bull in the face so hard he had to go the ER after he told Mac that pizza pasta is "some wishy-washy coward who cant handle being confronted" after that pizza pasta tried to make up for him but ended up making things worse

- Mac sometimes convinces pizza pasta to get him icecream after training with doc by doing puppy eyes, it works every time

- pizza pasta chats a lot with Mac so he can learn about his interests

- Mac sometimes rambles about his hyperfixations to him when bored and he just takes notes in his mind

- pizza pasta fights anyone shit talking Mac since he feels bad about not being there for him earlier

[narwhalandchill]

i have to say of all the things people were speculating before 4.2 the fontaine AQ "theory" (if you could even call it that) im the most glad just. aged like complete milk and died silently in a ditch as it should was the way people were just. genuinely thinking the shadow dude in the narwhals stomach was childe 💀 and not even in the "ohhh what if" but actually soo convinced i just????

like hello what the fuck. i cannot believe that was a real thing like it was so widespread bc everyone went all. well the narwhal has to be bad and evil with terrible designs in mind for some nefarious plot relating to ajax so it has to be corrupting him and using his body as a puppet. and then pointing at the absolute most superficial "similarities" between the shadow and foul legacy when literally none of the actual core design aspects of FL were present at all whatsoever 😭 the shadow shares more in common with the fucking husks or even like. those hsr antimatter legion bitches what are you guys talking about. arguing oh the reason it looks nothing like childe or FL is bc hes already been gigasigma corrupted for a billion years in abyss time like WHAT

it got so bad i started fucking. double guessing my own (factually correct. as always. its like dawei wants to feed my ego) assessment of. yeah no fucking way thats ajax. theres some similarities in certain combat moves and some armor traits but like. he didnt invent his fighting style with FL he was literally taught it 💀 and 4.0 already told us skirk taking him in as a disciple had Something to do with his encounter with the narwhal. not at all unusual there would be some parallel (and i do find it plausible that the shadow v much has to do with surtalogi).

the other side of it was also like. yes sure im less reliable on that argument front leading up to 4.2 bc im way too narwhalpilled and obsessed with destined bonds between a mortal and an eldritch cosmic being in general so i was always hoping for it to like him in that based gourmet incomprehensible alien way. BUT. the way ppl fucking trashed my beloved acting all oh the narwhal calling for ajax must involve wanting to do something terrible to the uhhhhhh (checks notes) kid that.... freed it? woke it up? after an indeterminate time spent in some sort of stasis and imprisonment??? especially when its a creature meant to be freely traversing the cosmos?? Huh? 😭 tf would the narwhal have against him im crying. stop assuming the worst of this lovely friend shaped cetacean that is literally so rude.

(And like. i mean this with the utmost respect to his clear power boost regarding mastery over FL and am by no means trying to flatten or dismiss his development but also. 45+ days brawling. when the narwhal was already more or less fully primordial sea juice boosted. and when it went DIRECTLY for the kill against all those shrimp civilians in the cutscene. ajax. ajax. ajax. you did a great job but no way in fucking hell am i believing the narwhal was at any point trying to kill you fr im sorry 💀💀💀 you got the VIP treatment bc it likes you and i am Not believing otherwise unless dawei himself smites me and rebukes this directly. edit: and like he fell back in passed out & near death. well why the fuck wouldnt it finish the job right there and then???? checkmate atheists)

ultimately it just made no sense and while theories are fair game for everyone and all i just really hated this one its literally so petty but i cant help it im so glad it was instakilled on spot by the 4.2 trailer SKSKSKDKSKSDSJK i saw my man true and real in all his foul legacy drip and i knew i won.

also when the narwhal attack animations leaked and people were all oh my god its destroying childes constellation this is super bad and evil and i just. you mean the constellations that serve as the direct physical manifestations of celestias hold over destiny and fate. those. you mean the guy whose boss archive entry builds him up as the one who will "overturn this world" having his constellation busted through by a 874679 gigaton star-devouring whale pal could like. in no way shape or form be perhaps a visual metaphor for some. other development. after multiple lore drops and talks of wills capable of rivaling the world and not being chained by celestias ever present gaze. dont you maybe think the visuals of a constellation falling from the sky could also imply a different kind of thing. icant 😭 same for his vision malfunctioning if the narwhals behind that one too. like you mean the device we used to literally spy on his memories and that are all but confirmed to be not quite the quirky divine gift all perks no fine print you might assume. that thing. surely the vision malfunctioning is awful for ajax. (this take was sponsored by sustainer!!!)

it was literally just all these weird assumptions that abyss bad so narwhal from abyss (that aged well lmao) also bad ajax is a helpless baby fish being lured by the seductive calls of his narwhal to the dark side. and so on

and then turns out hes the one attacking the narwhal on sight 💀💀 if only we couldve foreseen his desire to fight the being he encountered during his time in the abyss once they meet again from something like idk his own voicelines that have been there since 1.1..... but alas 😔

[hotluncheddie]

you know... you're a really great writer. you are actually incredible. because i am not autistic and I've never met an autistic person; but the way you wrote autistic steve made me feel some kind of way. it touched my heart, and i ached. i wanted to cry, and i clenched my heart. and i somewhat felt like something was missing. like it was me who was missing. there's something about the way you wrote that fic that it makes me feel lost and non-existent. but also, it makes my heart physically hurt. i dont know how to describe this feeling that you give me, it's like... he has everything i dont. i kinda feel like i relate?? am i allowed to say that? because im not autistic. but i really, really liked that fic and it went deep, embedded itself into my core. kinda feels like i want someone to love me like eddie loves autistic steve. kinda feels like... like i wish i had an autistic lover so i could love them like eddie loves steve. kinda feels like... i wish i were as loved despite my weirdness even though my weirdness isn't autism.. ehhh... i dont really know. im really love-starved i think. it was a really, really good fic 👍

Hello! First off thank you so much, I’m really glad you enjoyed the fic and I really love that it moved you enough to send me a message directly <3 that means a lot to me!!  

Also I want to say that you most likely have met an autistic person - you just didn’t know it. :) 

I’m writing Steve as someone who is somewhat in the process of unmasking, and being in his POV you get a lot of insights that you wouldn’t just looking at or even talking to someone. But some of what he feels are things anyone can feel and experience, it’s just theres also differences, or different reasons for him to feel and react the way he does - because in that fic he’s autistic. 

That is to say, I completely think you can relate wether you’re autistic or not. These fic’s are about Steve’s autism but also about him being loved and accepted, which is something a lot of people relate to or relate to wanting. And, shame, embarrassment and loneliness are felt by Steve but those are pretty universal experiences (my family is Irish Catholic so I feel like shame is in my blood sometimes haha). It’s just that these things have the potential to be heightened somewhat, or come with different nuances and reasonings, I believe, when concerning autistic people. 

I don't think Eddie being autistic makes his love for Steve any different than allistic love. He just loves Steve. He’s attentive and kind to him, and most want the person they love to be understanding and accepting of who they really are - these are not autistic things, just human things. So don’t look for an autistic person to love, just find who you love and love them. They might be autistic and they might not be - the love will be the same.

I don’t want to overstep and maybe I’m jumping to conclusions but if this really resonated with you, or there where elements you identified with, it might be worth doing some research into neurodivergence. 

Or, like you said, if its just being love-starved - that really sucks and I really hope you can find a little more of it in your inner circle (familial, romantic or platonic) because you deserve it. <3 

[onelastchorus]

fontaine megathread

full of spoilers.. duh

archon quest act i

they're referring to the eremites. couldn't leave sumeru without one last sprinkle of racism lmao.. fr love how this was one of the first things i saw in fontaine. "see something, say something." STFU!!!

the fontaine VAs fucking STEPPED UP!! like why is lyney's VA so good.. the decision to open the quest with three of the most off-putting and unnerving characters so far.. lyney truly sounds deceiving, it really felt like you couldn't trust him. and then lynette is just ominous

and then furina.. miss focalors, the star of the mf show. whatever they're paying the VA is not enough because she's incredible. bravado, insecurity, instability, fear, hunger.. all the emotions are portrayed so well

fuck them for this one.. THERES SO MUCH TO UNPACK. i mean, supposedly teyvat has flooded before, this would not be the first. they're so unsubtle with the noah's ark and biblical themes. AND ARE WE GONNA TALK ABOUT THE TEAR?? THE LYNEY PARALLEL?? WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN

that moment when u realize teyvat is world without catholic guilt

lynette is so me. we both got that selective mutism rizz <333

YEAH WE GET IT, WE GET IT!! no subtly smh

the traveler bringing this up as if they didn't directly contradict each other. also another point. if the oratrice relies off belief in justice, not necessarily the archon, could that be applicable to other archon related things? this is feels odd because sumeru and mondstadt's people's entire philosophies rely off of wisdom and freedom respectively, yet they hold the "weakest" archons. and then there's inazuma, where modern citizens hate the raiden's vision of eternity, yet the raidens are arguably the strongest we've met yet

the way i fucking screamed i cannot believe we got skirk name drop

if this is actually meant to be foreshadowing i'm gonna laugh so hard

i'm genuinely so confused by the whole neuvillette situation.. so everyone knows hes not human, but no one knows hes the hydro dragon?? what do people think he is?

the way he fucking hates her i can't breathe

i couldn't get over this why did it jumpscare me.. paimon is funny again god bless.

did she happen to write 2021 aoty if i can't have love, i want power

insert speech about how hydro is truly about the split of ego, how someone presents or is perceived is always different from how they truly are or think. fr tho her design is SO GOOD. THE EYES!! THE TEARDROP ELEMENTS!! THE JELLYFISH ASS HAIR!! THE SILLY HAT AND FRILLS!! after anemo, i already feel as if furina's character aligns most with her vision holders

i've already seen everyone talking about this but we were literally hanging out with childe at lunchtime can we chill /j

with all that being said tho, i get it.. why did they lie did they just not expect this to be brought up its gotta be literal public knowledge

"SHES YOUR FATHER?" im gonna puke im so gay im so gay im so gay im so gay

cannot believe they went there. so fucking dark. kudos to hoyoverse.. anyways lynette come here my love i love u sm i will protect u

fr tho i loved the fact that we had a real prelude for this region.. i think the excuse to make something a little more isolated and establishing in it's plot is already super beneficial for whats to come. we got a lot more character exposition, and even the time to install these cool archon quest specific mechanics. i loved solving everything, it was all SO fun but they also got to have these really emotional beats, i feel this is some of their best pacing yet.

imo the last half of sumeru really helped hoyoverse find their stride, fontaine so far has similar storytelling energy to the whole heist bit of sumeru.

the best thing however might've been the SCORE??? they went out of their league with this one, it's the most fitting, noticable and influential instrumental work they've done in an quest imo

[1tsjusty0u]

actually you know what. ganondorf. what can you tell me about him

hehwhwhahahahahahahhhhahahahahahhahHAHAHAHAAHAHQHAHAHAHAHAHA YESS…. YESS!!!!!

ok so. the thing is for the mmain fic? i dont know how he will. fit in. like i have timeloop related ideas which i. need to do eventually. but generally speaking i dont know how to give him a good ending or even how he’ll effect the plot. but also i dont want to ignore him because he is very vital to the plot. honestly i might do a flowey for this in that he interacts sparsely, more to the end of the game. thanks toby fox

BUT ANYWAYS to me ganon really isnt. a twist per say? like with link im making his death be different and the reader is going to have to find out what happened (or immediately Know based on the tags and such and instead of finding out their horror??? only grows i hope because they basically have to watch a guy who they know something bad will happen to. like siffrin in stars and time when you’ve played sasasa). but for ganon his deal is basically almost canon except im highlighting how fucked up it is i guess. we already know hes under the castle, but the devs never expand his motives. so im trying to do that

so. spoilers?? i guess??? also its pure stream of consciousness be warned

ok so firstly totks whole Pre Hyrule thing doesnt exist here. im not doing that. the zonai are non-gods who literally just sailed into the country and happen to know magic. they also dont make the same type of ruins associated with the zonai in totk. their ruins match up much more with the ruins in faron and the animal-esque designs. also theyre extremely vague and none of them become the king. i can draw you some zonais if youd like but the whole zonai thing in totk makes zero sense especially with botw and theres actual contradictory information in this essay i w

because of this rauru and sonia Might exist, but they will be Extremely Different. im not making rauru a zonai if he does exist too, though mineru still might be one just. heavily redesigned. so theres no power struggle to lead to ganondorfs imprisonment- something else is the cause of that.

as to what? i have no idea yet </3. itd probably be similar to the exile of the shekiah when the helped with the calamity, ganon being seen as a threat and something to be exterminated. ganon may not have helped or interacted with the monarchy, but it didnt change what the king and queen viewed of him. though i dont think any prior games or legends “influenced” this- as in they didnt follow any prophecy or something, but they basically ingrained the roles of the past into being completely static if that makes sense. zelda is always the pretty princess with wisdom and powers of the goddess (and hylian), link is always the hero always with the master sword and courage (also always hylian), and ganon? always the oppressor. always the king of evil, king of the gerudo. always a threat. in the same ways these roles hurt zelda and link pre cal, these roles ESPECIALLY hurt ganon, just this time more directly. its almost like how certain laws target marginalized groups and by proxy accidentally hurt literally everyone else. but he was just a “threat to hylia” in some way or form, either due to something or just by existing. or both. but an incident probably lead to his imprisonment. all things considered i should. really work on this..? though thats complicated because if the shekiah just noticed the pattern of the calamity then people would have to deal with two separate events rather than just one, which could work but the “inciting incident” of the 10000 year calamity being beaten is almost null and passed on to another. at that point i might as well do what ive seen other fanfics do before totk came out and wrote about the zonai- grouping them together in the same time period and make the sealing of ganon himself as the person the 10000 year sealing of the calamity. however that wouldnt make sense with the tapestry…unless the tapestry isnt accurate to what happened which Is possible but still why go through all the effort to lie about becoming his calamity form? showing him as not human would fit with how they view him but still they couldve made him look like a monster- like a lynel or his pig forms, not a boar like cloud. so. i almost want to ignore his backstory entirely and only focus on him being well. trapped. i just dont know if this is the right move to make, as much as being trapped under the castle Is a backstory its not really a fleshed out one or one that shows his past connections or who he was as a person. though that does kind of fit with what he is now. uhm so yeah i have no idea im sorry

but to his. not-really-a-backstory backstory. like in totk, hes under the castle. everybody has forgotten this, the rulers being warned about.. Something under the castle, and to not speak of it like zelda says in the intro to totk. theres a locked gate, maybe with some stolen shekiah tech (used by the king/someone when the shekiah were exiled and hunted, getting scrap parts before they were buried) to secure it. or maybe they just like about it being protected by the goddess so no one can open it and because its such an easy lie to check everybody believes it. though i genuinely think its locked extremely well, either with past magic, the triforce when a past zelda or queen had it and sealing ganon was sealing the gate as well, sheikah tech, or something else. i say that because at some point youd think the yiga would literally just walk in if it was a lie. the shekiah tech is a bit dicey because the yiga probably know way more about it than the shekiah (except for purah and robbie), however. i was going to argue they might not actually know that much about the tech which while it would depend on yiga to yiga i feel on some level they could absolutely break into it. (i used to think it was a parallel to botws general amnesia, forgetting their goal of originally helping hyrule, but after reading gboh the possibility of them changing it over time actively is probably a lot better, especially with it adding agency and also them being Rightfully Angry at the monarchy and eliminating those who stand as its biggest supporters? or pawns. and rereading the wiki page for them i cant remember how i thought they “forgot” their goal. ok sorry!! honestly i like to think some sheikah and yiga before being truly separate still made tech in secret, either to prevent something in the future or to help themselves (the sheikah being ok in the rain because of the tech in their outfits.) kind of like a third group that eventually faded out due to amnesia or became a yiga and Remembered. ok anyways) but yeah. on one hand Itd Fit and be such a slap in the face to the sheikah in general, but also the yiga should and probably would know how to break it down. that is if they even know the door exists, and the only reason they dont break into it is because they dont know It Exists because it wasnt built by them and ganon isnt able to communicate with them, or at least communicate with them well. in that scenario they could and Would be able to break down those protections which would actually make sense.

ALRIGHT. under the castle isnt the same as totks under the castle, and while it might…??? be the same one in the Trailer, that would require the zonai which, while they have their own mysterious plotline here (they magiced so hard they ended up in the sky), and theyre absolutely Important, i dont know how important they were in ganons sealing specifically. i like the zonai having some secret involvement of it and i also like having more zonai ruins, but i dont think the royal family would tolerate them At All because theyd also be a threat like the sheikah. they built literal labyrinths and actually know about the triforce more explicitly (the sheikah also seem to, or the ancient sheikah). them casting themselves off into the sky makes sense because who else could do that, But Yeah. theyd have their own documented versions of what they did, and i like to think they were fairly involved in hyrule as a whole. anyways sorry i just need to come up with how he was sealed and how it makes sense. god i used to have hopes and dreams about totk. we couldve gotten a new major god. and yet,

OK ONTO THE ACTUAL. PERSON IN THIS. GANON IM SO SORRY. yeah lets just say hes only Mildly Pissed about being under the castle for 10000 years (<- any words i could use now can not describe the sheer anger and hatred he has. like. its like genuinely wanting to kill someone if that makes sense. besides that being half the literal case, its . ok so you know how in totk the hands let out a shrill scream when they spot you, rushing over to kill you and choke you without thinking? its like that. wanting to make others feel the pain he felt for years and years, with an added touch of genuine hate and wanting to Hurt Someone or see them get hurt). hes being forgotten by everyone- his people the hylians, the shekiah, either people who he used to love or people who actively helped and encouraged his imprisonment, it doesnt matter when they all forget and dont even seem to care. its like he never mattered in the first place, what happened to him just something inconsequential and might as well not exist at all. He might as well not exist at all. but hes awake, rotting and tearing apart down at the bottom of that chamber always awake and always there. he cant move on yet, he needs to get out he needs to get out he has to get out

so!! his main focus is escape!! anyone who dies either had to or isnt something he thinks about. something something a means to an end, if people die so be it. plus if hes going down hea bringing hyrule with him, clawing onto it. he isnt mindless, guardians trying to ravish important locations like the temple of time and the akkala citadel, tactical locations. the malice is more of a by product of the original 100 year calamity, but it serves to help ganon keep and Eye out haha but also block and cover things. i like to think theres malice in guardians and thats why the master sword reacts to them. anyways, in botw he has a butterfly esque cacoon, and a spider like body made of sheikah tech. he was probably building a New Body as his means of escaping. why he made it like that? no idea. he definitely wouldnt live a quiet life once he was out and i think its an accidental by product of wanting to kill people/punish them in a sense. maybe he was going to have two bodies, like mettaton EX where the box body would be in this sense ganondorfs “normal” form where his spider form would be his Kill form.

if he wanted to be king of hyrule, this would probably be why. i dont really think he would, but if he did he’d do it both to punish those who wronged him while making sure what happened to him wont happen again, making sure the hylian royal family is never in a seat of power again. but right now he wants people to pay.

this also ties into him being “a calamity”; as hes trapped under the earth, i think he’d have an effect over it as well. trying to claw his way out from under the earth, parting the dirt in which it looks as if its breathing, sand piling over making sounds described as screams (though in real life its described as singing). in a way hes a part of it, but not by choice. hes the very thing you stand on and yet hes dismissed.

but anyways. hes very mad. link would describe him as “actively wanting me dead” in the timeloop au. his blights are described as screaming in the fic and i like to think thats ganon screaming in rage, pain or both. hes also not green here i should mention that. his form down in the dungeon i like to think has ghouls protruding from it like theyre melting into one and other and are reaching out with their hands, grabbing at whatever they can. hes pretty chill but smug post imprisonment, mostly a quiet cocky. less one for dramatics and rather plays it straight. likes pink and also is a fan of the desert right under spectacle rock. in the timeloop au hes also in the timeloop with link which causes problems. speaking of theyre pretty alike, and wreath would be like him in the timeloop au if he didnt already exist like percy jackson and luke. they could be friends in theory, but their circumstances drove them apart (hey like the wind waker post). hes a big fan of water buffalos, bulls, goats, cats and dogs, and sand sparrows. sand sparrows are his favorite animal in general and almost made it a symbol of the gerudo. id like to associate him with moths thanks to queen gibdo (shes not in this au she doesnt exist here). might actually like spiders as well as other insects. kotake and koume exist here :] . i think some of the gerudo havent forgotten, and thats why the hylia statue is way less in use, though it still being there is an act from the gerudo from the present ish. he likes soft and airy clothes. a lot more regal in the presence of leaders of their respective races- like the king or queen of the zora, the king and queen of the hylians, etc. likes hearty soup but also straight voltfruit juice. doesnt like hydromelons. he and zelda would hate each other, zelda Especially and their anger at each other almost cancels each other out. zelda is Very mad at him. chronic pajama wearer, gets a gerudo clothes person to make regal clothes with the same fabric from pajama clothes. sometimes he sleeps in them but other times he doesnt. big fan of the concept of magic, and likes chuchu jelly a lot. hes more prominent in the timeloop au honestly and im sorry for that. id like to give him an actual arc but well. i dont know how i would do that…….. also i want him to have a happy ending for once but i dont know if thatd work with this story. especially because of him killing the champions. him being an omen would be fitting, but still. him being punished narratively for no reason is stupid if that makes sense. his reason for doing what he did wasnt bad, but what he did by proxy was. i dunno death doesnt feel right for him, at least yet. he was happy though, once

ok sorry if this trailed off its. 5:40 am . i need to eat and sleep

[craske]

I don't want to sound pretentious when i say all this (and this ended up being really long??), but i really do think you don't need to uphold your online presence so consciously, or even at all. There's nothing wrong with being "inactive" because trying to show up for everything is some sick standard social media made up. Maybe it might be difficult to uphold an idgaf personality, but i can say from my experience it could be better to try a little bit at a time. I can say that they really do mean it when you can have quiet admirers, from my experience all the more. Maybe they're too shy to put silly tags when they reblog or just put a like on your post. And I don't think you have to worry too much about sticking to one piece of media and be afraid the people following you won't like you anymore for posting different content. At most, I just believe they won't really care enough to unfollow you or stop engaging entirely. The most important thing to me is that you stick around doing the things you actually want to do, even if you're just showing up every month or so, or black out for a year or more. Because the people who do care will be overjoyed to see you whatever you post or share, especially when you come back after a long time. It really is discouraging when you don't see that actively, maybe because we're so used to seeing numbers that relate to our worth. But i like to imagine we're waving at each other from a distance or smiling through a window, as horrid as online landscapes can be nowadays. I know i'm running my mouth here but i just wanted to share my experience because i um. 🙋 also think youre really cool and awesome and i love whatever work you do and the fact you share it is an amazing thing enough i feel privelaged and youre humor is funny and whatever new stuff you post is just introducing me to things i'll also think is cool down the line and i really do wish i can share my appericiation more and evolve from being a quiet admirer /inhales/ ��� i would say this is a sort of love letter from the gas station but i also mean it as kai 👋 i hope you're doing well in uni or that it gets better soon or in whatever it is youre doing now. and whether or not youre online, i hope youre doing the things you enjoy 🫶

okay i needed some time to figure out how to respond to this ask because theres a lot (in a /pos way dont worry) so ill start off with saying that i really really and i do mean it Really appreciate what you said here. Especially lately, ive been struggling with being active online outside of small spaces where there are just me and a few other people. might be me feeling overwhelmed when i say something into the void with a high chance of no response, though i wont fault anyone for that. i myself know interaction is scary so i do get it. ever since i started using the internet ive stuck to my small online bubbles so yeah interaction kind of intimidating online

and though i agree it does feel discouraging to sometimes see no feedback or much of a reaction, i try not to be bummed out about it myself because im also a silent admirer of many artists online. so like ive said before i do understand that sometimes people are shy and dont interact directly and theres no pressure really to change that. just the idea that there are people that like what i make is really nice, even though i suffer from the same issue that maaany other artists have and i need to actively remind myself of that.

about sticking to one fandom its a very recent but big issue to me because ive been DEEP in the persona pit for like 4 years, and i certainly built an audience around that. i know there will always be people that stick around no matter what but despite that theres always that nagging feeling that maaybe things will crumble. obviously thats not true but human mind fucking SUCKS

as the final note ill say it again that your message means a lot to me and i thank you a lot for it <333 im soo flattered by your words and they made my past two days, thank you soo much

[ajdrawshq]

Is there any non-spoilery way you could talk about how isat isn't just about timeloops? because like I do want to check the game out eventually for sure if only because indie fun times but I'm busy for a while before I get the time and tbh I'm just not as curious because I don't know how it's gonna break that formula (also ngl no colors makes me lose 50% interest because I like. looking at colors. lots.)

UHM OK WELL UM. hm. how DO i do this without spoiling anything. im very not good at describing things especially things i Really enjoy so how do i put this . hold on i might need to look at some reviews so i know how to words. ok

as a disclaimer i havent fully interacted with a lot of (if any??) media that has timeloops so i cant say for certain what it does differently from similar media that makes it stand out from others. at the same time ive never seen something that is so directly About Timeloops in this way even if i consider stuff ive heard about in passing but i could be wrong (madoka n utena come to mind ?). ill try to think abt the things that arent Just timeloop related plus the stuff u mentioned and hope that helps it feel more interesting and less generic?

i think one of the main things i can say is that it Really makes you feel what the protagonist is feeling. more than anything ive ever watched or played or whatever . and thats saying a LOT given how much i empathize with protags in games. and its not even just an empathy thing here. both the story progression and the gameplay work in such a way that you experience pretty much everything the same way they do, while still having their own personal stuff u can learn about of course

on that note tho. that is actually something to be careful of for a few reasons. i know ur generally pretty good with darker content so i doubt thatll be a problem for u here (its not that bad tbh but there is IS a warning when u open the game/look at the steam page and it aint lying) but. due to the nature of timeloops. it CAN get tiring and this is very much intended. and this helps a lot w the story and themes in a way that its. like. think how kh days does repetition on purpose. its a lot like that (although i had way easier of a time getting thru isat than days? i cant remember how u feel abt days' gameplay but i think it was positive ? either way getting thru isat was way more bearable than days imo). it does do a good job at balancing this with a couple mechanics that mean u dont have to repeat everything all the time (i had like. Very few actual full loops by the time i finished) and theres ALWAYS new things happening, even if ur super thorough with everything. its pretty easy to do things at whatever pace u feel like and if u wanna focus on the main story only to make it easier it wouldnt take too much away from the experience (tho i do encourage talking to the npcs at least a few times), and theres always a goal to work towards. also dialogue skipping and the banana peel are ur best friends

sort of adding onto that. it really, really helps that u are sharing the experience with the protagonist. not only does that help u relate to them (even if u dont share as many traits w them as i do akvdjsn) but theyre probably the most beloved character in the game and for good reason!! its really fun to see their interactions with the rest of the main cast and the npcs, and watch them all develop in different ways throughout the game. and my goodness all of the characters are beautifully written - at first ur kinda thinking ok its a ragtag group of sillies in an rpg whats new. but their personalities and relationships and hobbies and problems and everything about them is just so well done.. they feel so natural. human even. every conversation feels real to me. one of the main themes of the game is the concept of change, and each of them represent and approach it differently, both positively and negatively. its hard not to fall in love with them as individuals and as a group because they just have so much going on, even the ones i didnt expect to like at all!!

the worldbuilding is also a fun spin on fantasy rpg worlds. it mostly revolves around the area u play in bc well. of course it does. but its vv interesting to learn about all the different cultures within the world and how they interact with and build on the themes of the game. theres all sorts of queer stuff going on and its all handled like a love letter to people who relate, and i can feel it even with what i dont relate to at all!! the way "magic" works and the ways people use it in battle and everyday life is super cool too, makes the whole thing feel a lot more believable and realistic :3 i dont wanna talk abt any specifics bc its more fun to learn abt this stuff ingame

OH AND THE TEXT.. EFFECTS?.. idk what to call that but the way dialogue (both internal and external) is written and programmed is funky as hell (affectionate). it was weird at first bc oftentimes (mostly for humor) its like. almost the way i type actually?? which feels strange in a legit game but it Works. it works so well and adds tone and vibes and a Voice in a way u usually cant get in a game without any voice acting. deltarune is also good at that but this one does it differently enough for me to consider it unique

HAVE I MENTIONED THE ART STYLE i love the art style . its so charming and expressive especially all the talking sprites n battle portraits. simultaneously silly n adorable while fully capable of being serious. and creepy. anyway look at the sillies i love them n their designs dearly (especially Siffrin (1st on the left) and Mirabelle (2nd on the left))

also on that note, the lack of colors....... i both totally understand being put off by that (i also love looking at colors n this part made me feel weird abt it when i was thinking abt getting it at first) and personally enjoy it? without saying anything spoilery (bc its really not), its just another part of the worldbuilding and themes that i now find really fun :3 should be noted that i usually have an anti blue light filter so it mightve been easier to look at w the yellowish tint going on. maybe it even looks better that way ? kinda reminded me of old films now that i think abt it.. neat!!

as a last thing i couldnt quite insert somewhere else. it is equal parts a comedy and a tragedy, and it is so, so effective at accomplishing this. the humor is fantastic and adds to the games' and characters' personality, every tragic moment is . for lack of a better word or phrase. absolutely fucking delicious. and i adore how well it can shift from one to the other gradually or in an instant, or just be both at once!!!! yippee!!!!!!!

aaand thats all i can say. i have no idea if that cleared anything up BUT i encourage u to give it a try bc i do think youd like it in the end. u probably wouldnt finish it as fast as i did but that might be a good thing jfbskndj but yeah!!!! in stars and time!!!!!! its good and i love it!!!!!!!!