#as for uni im almost done with it!!
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I don't want to sound pretentious when i say all this (and this ended up being really long??), but i really do think you don't need to uphold your online presence so consciously, or even at all. There's nothing wrong with being "inactive" because trying to show up for everything is some sick standard social media made up. Maybe it might be difficult to uphold an idgaf personality, but i can say from my experience it could be better to try a little bit at a time. I can say that they really do mean it when you can have quiet admirers, from my experience all the more. Maybe they're too shy to put silly tags when they reblog or just put a like on your post. And I don't think you have to worry too much about sticking to one piece of media and be afraid the people following you won't like you anymore for posting different content. At most, I just believe they won't really care enough to unfollow you or stop engaging entirely. The most important thing to me is that you stick around doing the things you actually want to do, even if you're just showing up every month or so, or black out for a year or more. Because the people who do care will be overjoyed to see you whatever you post or share, especially when you come back after a long time. It really is discouraging when you don't see that actively, maybe because we're so used to seeing numbers that relate to our worth. But i like to imagine we're waving at each other from a distance or smiling through a window, as horrid as online landscapes can be nowadays. I know i'm running my mouth here but i just wanted to share my experience because i um. 🙋 also think youre really cool and awesome and i love whatever work you do and the fact you share it is an amazing thing enough i feel privelaged and youre humor is funny and whatever new stuff you post is just introducing me to things i'll also think is cool down the line and i really do wish i can share my appericiation more and evolve from being a quiet admirer /inhales/ 👍 i would say this is a sort of love letter from the gas station but i also mean it as kai 👋 i hope you're doing well in uni or that it gets better soon or in whatever it is youre doing now. and whether or not youre online, i hope youre doing the things you enjoy 🫶
okay i needed some time to figure out how to respond to this ask because theres a lot (in a /pos way dont worry) so ill start off with saying that i really really and i do mean it Really appreciate what you said here. Especially lately, ive been struggling with being active online outside of small spaces where there are just me and a few other people. might be me feeling overwhelmed when i say something into the void with a high chance of no response, though i wont fault anyone for that. i myself know interaction is scary so i do get it. ever since i started using the internet ive stuck to my small online bubbles so yeah interaction kind of intimidating online
and though i agree it does feel discouraging to sometimes see no feedback or much of a reaction, i try not to be bummed out about it myself because im also a silent admirer of many artists online. so like ive said before i do understand that sometimes people are shy and dont interact directly and theres no pressure really to change that. just the idea that there are people that like what i make is really nice, even though i suffer from the same issue that maaany other artists have and i need to actively remind myself of that.
about sticking to one fandom its a very recent but big issue to me because ive been DEEP in the persona pit for like 4 years, and i certainly built an audience around that. i know there will always be people that stick around no matter what but despite that theres always that nagging feeling that maaybe things will crumble. obviously thats not true but human mind fucking SUCKS
as the final note ill say it again that your message means a lot to me and i thank you a lot for it <333 im soo flattered by your words and they made my past two days, thank you soo much
#as for uni im almost done with it!!#wowzers masters degree i will kill myself tho bc idk what to do after it#but thats an issue for the future me i guess!!!#anyway again thank you so much your message was really sweet and meant a lot to me#im sorry i dont reach out much like i said interaction online is soo scary and also insanely difficult lately?? it sucks#as the twitter users say thank you oomfie <3#ask#k4ik4yk04#long post
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Star man
Reference
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#star wars#luke skywalker#the original trilogy#star wars rotj#leia organa#uni has been kicking my ass#im almost done w the semester tho#i miss posting#so hopefully I'll get back to it more
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I sure hope Hijotee is doing well wherever they may be... (21/24)
#noco family au#How I Met Your Father (Again)#total drama#total drama noah#total drama cody#total drama noco#noco lore#hijotee's william country#IM BACK BITCHES!!!!#don't worry I haven't offed this blog#uni has just been kicking my ass these past few weeks#final stretch to end of semester and of course I my neurodivergent ass leaves my last few assignments to the last minute#that and I had a nasty stomach flu for like a week so there's that#but yea planning on being way more active here in the coming weeks#hopefully get this bastard arc done by next week#fuck and its almost the blogs first anniversary too#huh#but yea#do people even read these tags?
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Been wanting to draw some fanart for Poor George MAP since it's my favorite one, and because it was its anniversary recently, I finally did it :>
ID: A digital drawing in two panels with characters from Warriors. In the panel above, there's Yellowfang watching Brokenkit play with a moss ball, she looks endearingly at the little kit; they're in a green environment and plants surround them. In the panel below, Yellowfang is in the same possition, looking down at an adult Brokenstar at her feet, already dead, she looks sorrowful. Fireheart is by her side, looking at her with compassion. They're at ThunderClan's medicine den.
#irbis draws#fanart#warrior cats#warriors#warrior cats fanart#yellowfang#brokenstar#fireheart#firestar#thunderclan#shadowclan#cw animal death#animal death#poor george map#i really love this map. it brought me to tears at the part where yellowfang decides to blind brokenstar but still sees her little kit in hi#i remember when i first watched it i was procrastinating a very complicated project#i'm working in a quite stressful project rn too but ive got more sense of things and im almost done with uni!!!#and its still my favorite. i had heard of it like a week before it released and already liked the song aaa#and then the whole pacing was just perfect#also the scene where brokentail kills his father felt so real. i could feel raggedstar's struggle to survive#woaaah#very amazing map#AND THE CREDITS SEQUENCE#im gonna turn this into a ted talk goodbye
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Hii small drawing of my favorite failguy
Reference under the cut and also another drawing of what probably happens after the small drawing in the corner sjdf
Btw translation of the small drawing in the corner:
Ambrosius: A lil kiss yes or no Ballister: No
#nimona#nimona comic#ambrosius goldenloin#ballister blackheart#blackloin#goldenheart#my art#this is so stupid sorry sdjfkd#drawing and painting comic ambrosius in a white background is very comforting to me actually sdjfksdf#drawing him like that mostly when I'm working on uni stuff#this one thing I'm doing is the very last of the semester aaa I'm almost-almooost on vacation#btw I did draw the other way of Ballister rolling his eyes back but he ended up looking more wrecked than I intended sjdfksjf#will probably clean it and color it to post on poipiku but later when Im done with this thingy#my silly beloveds#suggestive
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Should I make him into a marketable keychain?
#gravity falls#my art#gravity falls fanart#ford pines#gravity falls ford#young stanford pines#gravity falls stanford#stanford pines#gf stanford#im back after so long#uni has been kicking my ass#its also finals season so yeah#im almost done trust#so then i can make more art
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The never ending battle (being with Simon vs not being with Simon)
#Guys this is posting the morning my final uni essay is due#but for the record im scheduling it also ive finished it#anyway sorry all the edits have been sad plus so spaced out#no time plus mental unwellness because of aforementioned no time#im gonna blow up one day etc#but im almost done#missing wilmon#but what's new#ellieeditposting#young royals#young royals edit#wilmon#wilmon edit#young royals season 2#young royals s2#young royals s1#young royals season 1#young royals s3#young royals season 3#wilmon x laufey#wilmon x promise#wilmon angst
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we are forgetting one of the most important anniversaries this year
#ok ik that technically the band celebrates their anniversary relating to 1996 when self titled came out but this is when it all started#also. thinking. 30 years ago brian was my age. almost done w uni. and he was like fuck it im starting a band.#what if.. haha im joking. unlessmm#placebo#piksla.txt
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IRIDA FOR MERMAY 𓆝 ⋆。𖦹°‧𓇼
#HERE TAKE IT#ITS BEEN STUCK AS A WIP FOR A YEAR AND ITS FINALLY SEMI DONE#PRETTY MERMAID GIRL#the bg is a courtesy of dreamstime (stock photo) bc i didnt want to wait another year to post her#uni is KILLING ME but im ALMOST FREE#Anyways#pokemon#pokemon legends arceus#pla#irida#mermay#mermaid#pearl clan#i gotta start tagging my art somehow bc i cant always find it lmao#uhhhh#my art#ig
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dudeee im mad i havent been able to watch this server, it's cool as hell!!!!! first off all the lore and amazing characters and friendships?! the amount of mods they have. like. going to space? magic? arcade games? cellphones? and im sure there's more i haven't seen bc it's only been a few hours lol. very happy for everybody involved, it rocks!
i took a picture of this bc it blew my mind lol this is adorable, groupchat!
#IM MAAAD#tbh today proved me that i made a good choice not watching most#bc i didnt do shit today#just watched this all day#and i need to finish uni right im almost done#but gawd this server is cool as hell#i love it#arkanis#jealous of all uuu
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vent moment but my health is a bit worse than i let on, which is weird ik since it seems like complain about it all the time here, and apparently i also look sick, because two separate people in their 40s or 50s asked me, 24, if i needed their seat on the bus. kind of them. but humiliating nonetheless.
#medical stuff cw#i sat on the steps instead of taking their seat#vent cw#i have to take five different pills a day excluding birth control which i also take for health reasons but okay#i have to thank italy for its healthcare system because at least i dont have to pay a fuckton for all that stuff. except birthcontrol.#as i may have mentioned they found quite a bit of blood in my piss so im getting tested for ✨️cancer✨️#also because i've been having health issues which might be rated#my blood work is all off but i didnt get tested for tumoral cells specifically because i may have 'just' an autoimmune condition#so im on heavy duty antibiotics too now bc i also developed antibiotic resistance last year. anyway.#i need to take those and then they'll test my peepee again but this time they will also test explicitly for tumoral cells#because something is off and my previous blood work didnt point out what exactly#terrible anemia and other slightly-off numbers that however shouldnt be off considering my lifestyle#i eat almost everything. drink plenty of water. exercise. barely smoke. not even drinking anymore. i'm not too fat nor too skinny.#so. some of the numbers that are off dont really have a reason to be off which is why they are testing my blood and piss for cancer#but like. in 3 weeks because i have to take antibiotics and iron meds (not supplements. meds.) first#so my mind's trying to convince itself that i dont have a tumor. but what if i do? i know i dont. but not knowing makes me go insane#also i have to get tested for heart disease because that motherfucker is not working properly. doesnt pump enough blood to my brain.#i took an ekg and it came back pretty normal except for tachycardia#now i have to go get an holter ekg - but was told to wait until uni starts again bc i need that exam to be done when i have a daily routine#so basically they slap electrodes and shit on me for 24 hrs while i go do my shit around the city and then see how my heart behaved#because i cant stand without struggling to breathe and sometimes it happens when in laying down to.#sometimes i cant fall asleep because i cant breathe#at first the doc thought it might be a reflux issue but not. all good on that front.#so. we'll see. and i mean. i KNOW it's not cancer. like. i'd be dead by now bc i've been having these symptoms for five months#however. i dont know if it's not an autoimmune disease. and if it is? what am i gonna do?
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Hey everyone!
I'm about one week from finishing my degree so sorry I've been so absent lately I'll have plenty of things coming in my big winter break soon.
In the mean time remember I have an ao3 if you need a lil bedtime story 💗
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tired girl hours i’m just ranting bcos i don’t have enough time to cry
#tw rant#studying med is no joke. ik it was gonna be a commitment n that it wasnt gonna be easy n i thought i was prepared but im not#its my passion. i love what im studying and ive dedicated myself to this path but i just. its so hard n i just want to cry. everyday feels#so tiring. morning to night classes. when i get home i have to read 4 chapters MINIMUM n the books are so thick + exams almost everyday#i feel worse knowing there’s this 1 girl in my friend group that cant decide whether she likes me or not. one moment shes complimenting me#n asking where i get my outfits or my nails done or my earrings or whatever then praising me that i probably study the least out of everyone#yet still reach high student rankings but its not that im lazy im just so exhausted n its hard to have motivation... lowkey envy how my#friends study minimum 4 hours a day. we’re all tired n sleep deprived. even taking 30mins to eat makes me feel guilty. cant even watch 1 ep#of an anime bcos ill be thinking about the amount of work to do. and i have sm plans. i wanna be more active and have a healthier lifestyle#but i cant find it in me to wake up every 5am to go to the gym when i just wanna get as much sleep when im lucky to finish my studies today#i also dont see my bestest friends everyday anymore. some of us move to diff unis or some in diff majors. i just miss them so bad it hurts#and i miss the girl i used to be when i still had time and energy to indulge in my hobbies. i miss playing genshin and writing fics#just when i got back to writing and enjoyed it LOVED IT i had to go back to uni. i feel terribly lonely even when im always with people#im afraid ill completely lose grasp of the little things that make me happy bcos the weight of my responsibilities are heavier#im afraid ill be too focused on success again like i was when i was 17 and forget that its okay to relax too but idk#and i wanna meet more people make more friends have new experiences. i wanna feel alive again. and theres sm i wanna talk to or get to know#but im so afraid of people hurting me or disappointing me or people getting to know me only for the friendships to fail or we’ll dislike eac#h other. i wanna date and fall in love again and experience the romance my peers have. i wanna have someone to call my own person but the fe#ar of having someone only to lose them someday scares the hell outta me. im not ready for another heartbreak so i isolate myself and watch#people from afar. uni gives me sm freedom to do everything else and form my own identity but i dont wanna be Perceived. I wanna be heard and#seen n connect with people. but w my curreny state idt i can handle being vulnerable with others. it feels so lonely that the things i want#are out of my rrach but idt i can manage my time to meet new people and make new memories. i console myself by shopping a lot and going to#spas to relax yet i still find it hard to sleep. im afraid im wasting my time. im not as brave as i used to be. im not as efficient as i was#i get older and more tired and while i never questioned if studying med was the path i want i do question what will happen next#“is this all im ever going to be?” im good at what i do but day by day i lose sight of tje girl who knew how to laugh n smile. ik what makes#me happy but i rarely smile genuinely anymore. im so tired and want to sleep for a long time but i dont wanna fail. i dont wanna be NOT good#but it makes me cry when i know i can do many great things but i dont feel loved. people compliment me but dont approach me bcos they say im#intimidating or that im too quiet in class. i wish i could tell them i wanna join their parties too or i wanna meet their friends n hangout#but what if it doesnt work out? what if i wasted my time getting to know someone id eventually regret? what if im the disappointing one?#the days are getting shorter but it always feels like a long day. im ashamed to admit i want someone to hold me yet refuse to have anyone
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my parents are visiting.... so sad that i won't be able to play sims 2 until sunday 😔
#i think my queue should last me until then though#i'm almost done with the usual households (really loving my time with amaranth rn)#then uni!!!#im actually excited for uni#even though since im doing it staggered it should last me ~12 days
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Time to commit to what feels like a sin to finish this PowerPoint assignment:
listening to Country Girl (Shake It For Me) on repeat
#hep at uni#hep thoughts#im like almost finished with the notes side of the powerpoint and it's just past 10pm#i hope (Prayge for me) that I'll be done by midnight at the latest#university student#this is me following what might as well be my uni bible: “C's get degrees”
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