#anyway again thank you so much your message was really sweet and meant a lot to me

[craske]

I don't want to sound pretentious when i say all this (and this ended up being really long??), but i really do think you don't need to uphold your online presence so consciously, or even at all. There's nothing wrong with being "inactive" because trying to show up for everything is some sick standard social media made up. Maybe it might be difficult to uphold an idgaf personality, but i can say from my experience it could be better to try a little bit at a time. I can say that they really do mean it when you can have quiet admirers, from my experience all the more. Maybe they're too shy to put silly tags when they reblog or just put a like on your post. And I don't think you have to worry too much about sticking to one piece of media and be afraid the people following you won't like you anymore for posting different content. At most, I just believe they won't really care enough to unfollow you or stop engaging entirely. The most important thing to me is that you stick around doing the things you actually want to do, even if you're just showing up every month or so, or black out for a year or more. Because the people who do care will be overjoyed to see you whatever you post or share, especially when you come back after a long time. It really is discouraging when you don't see that actively, maybe because we're so used to seeing numbers that relate to our worth. But i like to imagine we're waving at each other from a distance or smiling through a window, as horrid as online landscapes can be nowadays. I know i'm running my mouth here but i just wanted to share my experience because i um. 🙋 also think youre really cool and awesome and i love whatever work you do and the fact you share it is an amazing thing enough i feel privelaged and youre humor is funny and whatever new stuff you post is just introducing me to things i'll also think is cool down the line and i really do wish i can share my appericiation more and evolve from being a quiet admirer /inhales/ 👍 i would say this is a sort of love letter from the gas station but i also mean it as kai 👋 i hope you're doing well in uni or that it gets better soon or in whatever it is youre doing now. and whether or not youre online, i hope youre doing the things you enjoy 🫶

okay i needed some time to figure out how to respond to this ask because theres a lot (in a /pos way dont worry) so ill start off with saying that i really really and i do mean it Really appreciate what you said here. Especially lately, ive been struggling with being active online outside of small spaces where there are just me and a few other people. might be me feeling overwhelmed when i say something into the void with a high chance of no response, though i wont fault anyone for that. i myself know interaction is scary so i do get it. ever since i started using the internet ive stuck to my small online bubbles so yeah interaction kind of intimidating online

and though i agree it does feel discouraging to sometimes see no feedback or much of a reaction, i try not to be bummed out about it myself because im also a silent admirer of many artists online. so like ive said before i do understand that sometimes people are shy and dont interact directly and theres no pressure really to change that. just the idea that there are people that like what i make is really nice, even though i suffer from the same issue that maaany other artists have and i need to actively remind myself of that.

about sticking to one fandom its a very recent but big issue to me because ive been DEEP in the persona pit for like 4 years, and i certainly built an audience around that. i know there will always be people that stick around no matter what but despite that theres always that nagging feeling that maaybe things will crumble. obviously thats not true but human mind fucking SUCKS

as the final note ill say it again that your message means a lot to me and i thank you a lot for it <333 im soo flattered by your words and they made my past two days, thank you soo much

[akxmee]

★ 04. 𝗕𝗟𝗔𝗖𝗞 𝗥𝗢𝗦𝗘𝗦.

"Well? Doesn't this look perfect on me?"

Satoru did a silly twirl in front of you who were sitting on the sofá watching the boys try on the clothes you've bought. He was wearing a white sweater with blue jeans and some casual shoes, nothing too much. Still, he seemed to love it compared to the awful clothes he was wearing a few hours ago. This was comfy and smelled way better, and you knew suguru was thinking about that too from the way he just looked at his clothes with curiosity.

"Perfect as in perfectly horrible? Yeah, you've got a charm for that."

Suguru, who was wearing a simple White T-shirt with some and a pair of black cargos and boots replied, but Satoru didn't even care and just laughed it off, looking at him with a sly smile.

"C'mon, you wished you looked like me. We both know i'm the prettier one."

"Not the favorite though. Right, Y/N?"

You, who had been watching everything in silence, was once again dragged into the most ridiculous conversation for the fifh time today. You sighed.

"Right now i hate you both equally for destroying my savings."

They both smiled, Satoru's being a nervous one and Suguru's an innocent one as if he didn't even know what you meant. The blue eyed boy shrugged, acting as if it was nothing.

"It's okay, choso is probably working extra hard for you today anyways. You will get the money again, no worries."

Suguru nodded. Choso had always been like that, super hardworking and one of your best employees. Everyday he had to go to work he always leaves everything as if he'd never been there; dishes clean, magnificently wiped tables, ordered ingredients and impeccable coffee machines with no stains of spilled milk over them. He did everything with such experience, you were sure he cleaned a lot at home.

Not only that! He was really sweet, and that's maybe why Satoru and Suguru didn't really mind his presence. Satoru has always been an atenttion seeker, and he didn't like people in the house. In the other hand, Suguru was such a calm cat who didn't even care about people coming home. However, both of them seemed happy to see choso everytime he walked through the door.

Talking about Choso, you should actually text him some "thank you" text.

"Sure, sure... Suguru, can you pass me the phone?"

He nodded, grabbing it from a table and extending it to you to grab the object. However, when you reached to do so, he took it back.

"Sorry, that's not how you ask. I think i haven't heard you well."

Suguru coos with a playful tone, waiting for you to catch on. You mumbled a "really?" and looked at satoru for help, but it was to no use. He shook his head.

"My bad, can't help you on this one."

He winked at you, to which you rolled your eyes and looked at Suguru again. You extended your hand.

"Please, Suguru, may i have my phone if you're kind enough?"

"It would be my pleasure."

With that, he handed it to you. You unlocked the screen, looking over the messages until you entered choso's chat.

3 missed calls.

You though about texting him, but if it was something important then you had no time to waste. You called him back, and he picked up in almost no time.

"Hey boss."

His smooth voice sounded from the other line. Something about the way he seemed calm and not in a hurry or in danger relaxed you.

"I told you to stop calling me that, you know that!"

He laughed softly, the sound of utensils being put in the background. "He's still cleaning", you thought.

"Yeah, i may know about that. Anyways, you took long enough to call back."

"I know, sorry. Was your call important when you made it? I was busy.."

You apologize, feeling somehow guilty. He quickly reassured you though.

"No! It was fine. I can tell you now if you're not busy anymore." The sound of keys filled the silence for a second. "I just closed the café, can I come over?"

You immediately looked up, meeting Satoru and suguru with their gaze already on yours. How could he come over with those two like this? The worst part is, they didn't even seem to be worried about it. They just looked at eachother for a minute and then at you, satoru whispering a "yea, why not?" to you while choso waited for an answer. You were still debating and an awkward silence appeared.

"You don't have to say yes if i catch you in a bad moment, you know—"

You interrupted him.

"No! It's okay. You can come over, door's unlocked."

He smiled, but you didn't see it.

"Alright. I'll be there in five."

"See you, choso."

"See you too, boss."

And he hung up before you could even protest. That was fine though, because you had to talk to Suguru and Satoru about how in hell were they planning to do this. You catched their attention, and then asked right away. They looked at you as if you were dumb, like you didn't even know about them.

"Y/N, we're hybrids. We van change into those "Suguru and Satoru " Choso knows as we please."

Geto explained. You remember now, of course! They were always hiding, and the government also mentioned for you all to stay away from as many animals as possible. That made so much sense, and you almost forgot for a second.

"I kid of wanna see Choso again. It's been a while.."

This time satoru talked with certain emotion in his voice, emotion that you were quick to kill in that very moment.

"No you won't; you two are going to stay locked in my room."

Both of their faces turned pale.

"What?!"

Well, deserved.

Both hybrids looked at eachother and sighed accepting their fate. They had something to talk about anyways.

You opened the door, revealing a tired looking Choso still wearing the café uniform and with a bright coloured backpack hanging behind him. He looked at you and hugged you as a greeting, and you patted his back as you hugged back. As you separated from the hug, you walked aside just for him to come inside.

" Wanna come in?"

Choso looked at you and blinked, processing what you said. Then he realized, and his mouth had an "o" saped as he did so.

"Oh..right, i said come over. Don't worry, I don't need to enter. I just came to drop this by, actually."

He took his backpack off and opened it. Now that you looked at it not only did It have a bright neon color, it also had some funny child cartoons srawing. You guessed It was from yuji, his younger brother that he loved dearly based on how many times he could talk about him in just a few hours.

"What is it? I love surprises."

The man chuckled, taking the item out of his backpack already.

"I know for a fact that you do. Here, for you."

He gave you the item, and you grabbed it. It was a rose, a black one. It was in perfect condition, somehow a little bent because of being inside of the backpack, but still pretty. You looked at choso in confused state, to which he responded.

"Some random guy thought you would be doing your shift again today as every week and left It for you. Thought it was cute and promised him to give it to you"

You hummed as you smelled the flower, it was a cute gesture. However, It was kind of creepy for someone to know your shift was today. You didn't actually mind it, since it was something easy to figure out.

"But roses mean love, aren't they too straightfoward?"

You chuckled, jokingly. Choso ran a hand through his hair, thinking about it with a smile.

"I guess you just found yourself a secret admirer then."

"Secret ? Didn't you see him?"

Choso closed his backpack as he listened to your question, debating wether to tell you or not.

"Yeah, i did. But i prefer he talks directly to you, i already did enough of the wingman role." The dark haired man looked at you again and smirked. "But hey, he was totally your type."

"Dear god Choso, just get out of my door if you were trying to set me up with some random guy all along."

He raised his hands in defeat and you both laughed. Yeah, choso was the pure breath of fresh air that you needed right now. Everything has been so stressful, and laughing with your bestfriend at the front door of your house even if it was just for a few minutes was what you needed. The rose detail made it more endearing, even if he wasn't the one who gifted it to you he still took the time to bring it.

You talked with him for a bit. About work today, the secret admirer, weird customers orders and his brother's visit at work. Right, his little brother Yuji. He was the cutest boy in the whole world, and he always passed by to get a cookie and pet the animals at your café when his brother had to work. Sometimes you had to babysit him because choso couldn't, but it was okay since he was such a sweetheart and choso's biggest pride. There wasn't a time where he wouldn't talk about him, and you found that cute about him.

"It's my time to go now. Yuuji's waiting for me to have our movie night, you know."

Choso spoke, and you smiled.

"Of course! Let me know if you need anything. And thank you for covering my shift today, Choso."

"You're welcome, it was nothing. Enjoy your night, Y/N."

Something about the way he said your name as he left was so sweet that your eyes couldn't resist but look at his figure become a shadow and finally disappear as he left the building. He always called you some stupid nickname, so it was nice to hear your name escape from his lips.

You shook your head, closing the door. Now you had two animals to take care of, so you didn't have any time to waste in such irrelevant things. The roses in your hands were left in a pretty jar you had even if you didn't know who gave them to you, they were still too pretty to just throw them out. Yes, you would actually love to know who gave them to you, but it was okay. Choso would tell you sooner or later if you insisted enough anyways, so the main focus right now was your pets.

You walked through the hall, they were supposed to be in your room sleeping, playing or fighting eachother at this moment. As you opened the door and scanned the room, you found out something.

They were nowhere to be found.

Trying to be logical, you looked around the house as you called their names. It wasn't possible for them to leave the house, right? They had nowhere else to go, at least that's what you assumed since they never did this before as pets. You entered every room, looked inside the closet, bathrooms, the balcony..

"Satoru, Suguru! I swear, if this is a joke..!"

Nothing.

They were gone, and they left no trace.

𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓. 🌷

—𝗔𝗨𝗧𝗛𝗢𝗥'𝗦 𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘: i love choso too much istg 😭💕

—����𝗔𝗚𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗧

@kingshitonly @snake-lover-artist-blog @ashers-playpen @pizza-market @channies-bbg-room @pdacex @spindyl @foliea @queen-luna-007 @labelt-san @shiggys-chapstick @okayiamkassandra

[ghouldtime]

i usually don’t message anyone or anything but i just wanted to say i love your characterizations of konig, ghost, and soap very much. the love and appreciation you have for these characters really come through in your writing.

the cod fandom is full of talented writers but the majority of them write smut. it gets tiring scrolling through the tag and just seeing porn when i actually just wanna see… ppl who enjoy the characters outside of sex appeal, yk? so your blog, truly and genuinely, is a breath of fresh air.

that’s not even mentioning the ppl who write them as abusive or use them to fulfill certain fantasies. i mean i don’t kink shame ofc, but idk sometimes ppl write them in extremely degrading ways that do a disservice to their character and it bugs me a little. plus all the “innocent bimbo reader” rhetoric, idk it gets tiring.

anyway, sorry for the yap session, but i did mean everything i said genuinely !!

💚💚💚💚 Salutations anon! You really don't know how much I appreciate hearing this. Seriously, messages like this give me motivation to keep writing and to stay active on here. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU from the very depths of my heart. You've all been so so incredibly kind, sweet, and encouraging 😭 I don't know what I've done to deserve this but it's appreciated and you all are absolutely awesome. This has made my YEAR, thank you for taking time out of your day to send my silly self a message 💚💚💚💚💚

I'm so so happy my characterizations have hit the mark for some people and that I'm (hopefully) doing them some justice! I'm always worried about that because characterization matters heavily to me and I want to respect their characters and how much they mean to me and other people through it EVEN IF THE WRITERS OF THE LAST MODERN WARFARE DON'T KNOW WHAT A PROPER STORY LINE IS AND KILLED SOAP WHICH I'M NOT FORGETTING, IM NOT FORGIVING, AND IM CERTAIN NOT LIVE LAUGH LOVING WITH IT. I'm refusing to accept he's dead, no matter what they say

I love the boys all so much. They all have such interesting things about them and have a lot more dynamic to them than people think and I just want to represent them right, especially lesser appreciated characters (haven't actually really written for them yet but Keegan, Logan, Hesh, Sandman, Roach, Nikto, Krueger - legit I love them, anyone feel free to send asks or scenarios you'd like I WILL write them. Legit, y'all, you can send me asks about certain characters even if there isn't much on them. I WILL do my research and I WILL write to the best of my ability)

Oh there's many talented writers in the COD Fandom, there really are. I can't say I really know any personally seeing as I never really interact with other blogs but I've seen some reallly really nice fics with so much thought put in them. But equally, there's a lot of just... smut. Not even well written smut, I'm sorry, but a lot of it is just really, really poorly written. I'm all for do what you want, write whatever makes you happy. Freedom of speech! If it makes you happy, cool! But I'm also going to cringe cause a lot of it is... yeah, yikes

Not trying to be the smut police and say every detail must be accounted for and everyone should follow it in a certain way but plz basic anatomy 101, basic prep 101, no guy gal or enby pal will appreciate it if you just shove it in to anywhere dry and I've seen a loooot of that and other things that just hurt?????

I get it, people learn by reading/writing, but this is literally just a single search away. And common sense. There's also a lot of practices being unsafely represented (like fifty shades of gray level) and uh it's not on purpose, it's not meant to be dubious, but it just is written as that. PLEEEEASE please please do some research, the internet is right there

But I felt the same way. Like bless whatever y'all want to write, no shame and NO shade to writing smut. I'll probably eventually do it myself again in the future (undecided on that but it'd likely be a side blog if I do and would never be a main focus, I prefer story over smut action. Once again, no shade and no shame to those who don't, to each their own!). Never ever going to full on NSFW mode or only writing that, I'm always always always going to prioritize writing the characters first and trying to get more stories out there about them :D

But I got tired of opening it and all I see is just... smut, smut, more smut, extremely dubious content x 50. And maybe a sprinkle of normal things or fluff here and there. I just don't look in the tags honestly anymore, because so many people just don't properly tag it or give 0 warning at all, not even under a read more, just BAM, unavoidable unless you flat out don't look at the tags at all

There's more to the characters than just being attractive 😭and I love exploring those aspects of them and trying to figure out why they are the way they are

Also I'm ALWAYS going to have an issue with people who fetishize horrible things. When you're actively fantasizing and writing about someone abusing someone else, like flat out abuse, and being incredibly toxic and terrible to someone - just, please talk to a therapist. That's not social commentary, that's not a proper portrayal of real, HORRIBLE things that affect many people and have very real repercussions - that's perpetuating the negative narrative around a lot of struggles and setting it back by instead turning it into something that's treated as attractive. I really fully can elaborate on this and have a whole rant - but it's not cute and it's NEVER cool to fetishize actual, awful awful things that happen to people. Dead dove doesn't excuse you from judgement - especially when it's not even acknowledged. You're just saying you know what you write is probably morally reprehensible. Hey, I'm going to reprehend and won't respect you at all when you write awful things just cause and get off on it. Think people forget that. Dead dove is a descriptor and doesn't excuse you or make you instantly free from judgement or mean you're not doing something problematic/disgusting. It's just saying you know it is, that's about it.

I don't get why people do that when it's clear they have no idea what they're talking about. I've seen that a lot with the bully! Things. Like... wow, clearly some of you WEREN'T bullied and you're writing about it and it shows because if you were, hey, you know how fucking awful that shit is and how it leaves life long effects. Not saying this applies to all but there's a lot I see like that where it's just ".... wow, okay, so you don't have any idea what you're talking about, cool."

AND YEAH the mischaracterization really does do a great disservice where it's clear they're just after the characters for their physique. They just warp them so bad it's like "Are we talking about the same character?" . In AUs you get to explore that and can shape them to your wants, that's your choice! Highly recommend AU's, it allows so much freedom.

But when it's like.... regular? And it's just no where close and they're doing a 180 in how they actually are (like having Ghost flirt with strangers and be big scary daddy dom im sorry he's not at allllll) I don't get it and it's clear you really aren't writing about or for the character - at that point, plz, make your own characters. Just make your own OCs, it's great! And you can make them HOWEVER you want instead of just ignoring a character's characterization to make them fit what you want. And guess what? It's your character so you can TRULY do what you want and have them the way that you want instead of bending characters to fit a box that they weren't made for

I'm not saying you HAVE to write a character the same as me or in a specific way, but when it's a character with an established personality/backstory, the least you can do is follow that outside of AU's if you're writing for them. That's... the whole point of writing that character - I don't get why you'd write for them specifically if you're literally going to ignore everything about them

SPEAKING OF THE INNOCENT BIMBO THING, I'm also really not a fan. Once again, if that makes you happy to write or read, cool! I just am NOOOOT a fan. Why does the reader always have to be so small and so delicate and so pure/innocent? Why does the reader have to be just so UWU coded? Why are they always like "oh you're so little and small :( and just don't know any better" . It's either that or they're John fucking Wick with little in between. Pleeeease it hurts my soul

Its why I try to genuinely write a neutral geared reader with reactions that will likely fit a lot of people! I'm always taken out of a story's immersiveness when it mentions something like like your hair length or how uwu small you are in comparison. Give me just... average sensible reader. Give me reader who has realistic human reactions. Give me reader who isn't perfect, give me a reader who isn't magically special or different. Give me a reader who is just doing their best, who is THEMSELVES, with no intent otherwise. I love those fanfics so so much instead of trying to feel like I have to be something I'm not to get myself in the mindset to read some pieces NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR YAPPING. IM ALWAYS WANTING TO TALK IM ALWAYS AROUND 💚💚💚💚THANK YOU FOR THE MESSAGE IT MAKES MY HEART WARM AND MAKES ME SO SO HAPPY

[merakiui]

i’m still thinking about the tag in the co-writing ask a whole few days later and MERA 🥲 saying it would be an honor to exchange ideas is crazy bc it’s such a honor to even be on that list of people you’d hypothetically co-write something with! i adore your work to the fullest and you always release such BANGERS for writing!

(i really also appreciated hearing your thoughts on how you structure your work, your progress with first drafts, and what your favorite line is!! so exciting to peek into the mind of another writer!!)

anyways, i know it was probably just a tag that meant nothing to answer a question, but it really meant a lot! also fellow eel appreciator so real ‼️ i’m hella looking forward to your next jade leech work that you mention, something with a princess and childhood friends i believe,, i’ll be in your comments ofc tearing it up with analysis!

also i studied arnolfini painting for a class too so i’m really happy to know someone else got the reference <3!

also never got co-wrote or exchanged ideas before but u know my DMs if ure serious! or don’t! i hate to sound pushy

RE-L!! HELLO!!! ⸜(｡ ˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

I'm honored that you consider it an honor omg!!! Thank you for such kind words and praise. 🥺 you're too sweet,,, I'm glad my thoughts and writings are enjoyable and interesting to read!

I truly do mean that tag from the bottom of my heart! It would be a joy to co-write or discuss ideas! Your thoughts and ideas are always fascinating (your swimsuit thoughts were so *chef's kiss*). I'm just much too shy to reach out randomly and I always worry it will be bad manners to just burst into private messages so suddenly. ;;;;; but it's a relief to know you would like to do so!!!

ALSO AAAAA!!!! Thank you so so much for your anticipation for My Sweet Monster (my next Jade fic hehe)!!!! I hope to write it after I finish this Floyd fic I'm currently working on. Royalty aus with childhood friends is a delicious combination. Also,,,,, butler Jade pining for the princess he serves........ >:) I look forward to your (as always) banger analysis once that fic is published!

I had to read the title again because it caught me by surprise. I thought, Arnolfini Portrait? As in, the Arnolfini Portrait?!?!?! It's a very pleasant surprise to see a reference to that painting!!

[solittles]

hey!! we haven't really interacted, but i can't not after reading your post. i followed you recently because i watched Flight of the Eagle on youtube and you had some great gifsets of it, then i dove into your Nedward tag because i'm love him (i save my blorbo posts into my drafts because i'm. shy about it. whatever) and look. i'm really, really sorry that you're dealing with this shit. if you're panicking right now, i hope you can ride it out and feel calmer soon. the world's already harsh as fuck, to you, to lots of people, i really hope you can at least find a little peace when you're not actively in your workplace. nothing justifies being needlessly cruel to others :( also, fuck it, look - i draw sometimes, though i don't post much. if you'd like, i could sketch you something small, maybe terror or polar related, free of charge ofc. i'm cis but i know that "scared of everything" feeling all too well and it fucking sucks. we can't let shit like that win. in any case - take care.

hi love.

this message was so very very sweet omg. thank you for taking the time to write to me. it took me about three hours, but i did come down from the absolute panic i was in. doesn't mean i'm over it, since traumas last, but for now i'm calmer.

the world is indeed very scary, but as a trans person, i can usually handle it. i have lived like this for 10 years, you get used to it, i guess. but in weak moments, when you realise it will be like this forever, this fear will always be there, you break.

anyway! you don't have to draw me something, if you don't really really want to, this message meant so much as it is! i'm glad to have a fellow nedward fan in my askbox! he's my fav, i love him so incredibly much 🥺😭 and omg!! are you also an appreciator of the andrée expedition and the movie about them? what are your thoughts? please, this is one of my hyper interests, i have so few to share it with 😭 either write me a dm or just send me an ask again, i'd love to talk to someone who has watched the movie as well. i can only ever see it from the swedish perspective, so i want to hear others' thoughts as well!

have a lovely evening 🤍

[crispycreambacon]

HELLO AGAINN !! ^O^ IT’S THE ANON FROM THE OTHER DAY !!! JUST FELT LIKE SENDING A FOLLOW-UP ASK ,, ^_^

FIRST OFF , OH MY GODDD ?1??1 I WAS ABSOLUTELY NOT EXPECTING SUCH A HEARTFELT RESPONSE WHAT THE HELL ,,, I’M SO GLAD THAT MADE YOUR DAY SO MUCH ?1?2?1? SNIFFFLLESS ,,😢😢

ALSO !!!! I DIDN’T MENTION IT IN THE FIRST ASK BUT SOMETIME BETWEEN WHEN I SENT THAT AND NOW , I READ YOUR TRANS PROFESSOR FIC AND OHHH MY GODDDDDDD . THAT WAS SO . HOLY FUCKING SHIT . GENUINELY SPEECHLESS .

I READ IT AT LIKE 1AM ON A SCHOOL NIGHT AND AAAUUUGGHFHF THAT HIT LIKE A TON OF BRICKS ,, I WAS LITERALLY LIKE THAT ONE “light work , no reaction ! OOHHH… OKAY IT’S GOT A LITTLE KICK…” VIDEO WHILE READING… NOT TO MENTION THAT I LISTENED TO ANTHEMS FOR A SEVENTEEN-YEAR-OLD-GIRL AS I READ .

WHILE I DID SOB SEVERAL TIMES WHEN READING , THAT DOES NOT MAKE THIS ANY LESS OF A POSITIVE MESSAGE !!!! I AM YET TO REREAD IT , BUT THE FIC MEANT SO MUCH TO ME , AS SOMEONE WHO HASN’T FELT SURE OF THEIR GENDER LIKE… FOREVER . AND EVENTUALLY JUST GAVE UP FIGURING IT OUT . ( & also had friends that suspected i may be non-binary …. haven’t officially went with any label yet though )

I RESONATED WITH CONNIE SO MUCH WHILE READING ,,, TO THE POINT I HAVE SINCE BEEN CONSIDERING STEALING HIS NAME . IT’S SO INSANE TO ME TOO BECAUSE I’VE NEVER FELT SO STRONGLY ABOUT A POTENTIAL ADDITION TO MY RELATIVELY SHORT LIST OF NAMES ??? AND IT’S MOSTLY DUE TO YOUR FIC ,, I EVEN HAVE A PROFILE OF ONE OF THE PIECES GOING WITH THE FIC BECAUSE OF HOW MUCH IT RESONATED WITH ME . ( WITH CREDITS OFC DWWW !!! ^_^ )

ANYWAYS MOVING ON FROM THAT !!! I’M VERY GLAD TO HEAR I CAN USE YOUR ART FOR EDITS !!! ^O^ I ACTUALLY TRIED TO EDIT YOUR PUPPET HISTORY GOD ART EARLIER TODAY ,,,, UNTIL I DISCOVERED THAT CAPCUT DECIDED TO MAKE MOTION BLUR A PRO FEATURE . WHICH SUCKS ASS , CONSIDERING HOW IMPORTANT MOTION BLUR IS IN TRANSITION EDITS ,,, AND HOW I LACK CAPCUT PRO 😞😞 BUT WHENEVER I RECOVER FROM THAT !!!! BE READY FOR AN EDIT !!!! ^_^

ANYWAAAYSS THIS WAS MUCH LONGER THAN ANTICIPATED ,,, HERE IS A GOLD STAR FOR MAKING IT THIS FAR & HAVE A FABULOUS DAY !!!! ^O^ ⭐️

- 🦇

Hello... Sorry for taking a while to respond to you. Life's been kinda busy on my end 😅

But waugh... it really means a lot to see you and your kind words again. I'm so so happy that Snip Snip resonated so strongly with you especially since I poured a lot of my experiences as a non-binary person into the fic. And it's incredible that you potentially found a new name through this fic!! Oh my gosh, I'm actually tearing up as I type this.. It really is heartwarming knowing the impact that fic had on you <3

Best of luck in your journey! Just a reminder that while labels can provide a sense of comfort and community, they aren't as important as the internet makes them out to be. You don't need to label your identity to have your identity be valid. You are welcome in the LGBT+ community regardless of whether you know what your gender is or not. Experiment with labels if you'd like—you can always change your mind about them—and do what is best for you.

And THAT IS FOUL OF CAPCUT TO DO OH MY GOSH??? Editing programs stop gatekeeping important features through subscription fees challenge... Agh, I hope you'll get around this problem. I really am so excited to see the edit. Again, PLEASE tag me or send me a link through DMs. I'd be more than happy to check it out :]

Once again, thank you so much for this incredibly sweet message 🫂 I hope you are doing well, and may you have fabulous days ahead of you ^^

[ofmermaidstories]

Hii Mermie hii! 🥺 happy belated birthday 🎂🪅 im so sad I missed it! 😭 hope you had an amazing day, eat los of cake and had so many flowers! 🌸🌼🌺🌻⚘ im so behind everything, havent read your latest story but by the looks of it im gonna cry! AND I spent a lot of time trying to gather my thoughts from SJLT to send to you, and the time passed, but let me tell you, I didn't expect the route you went for at all! like if I had a feeling what would you do, I was wrong in a very interesting, adventurous way... I cry almost the entire chapter, reader was so fearless, helping in what she could, Deku trying to save, and save her and Bakugou (😭😭😭) and the quirk! and how reader and Dwku were apart for almost 2 YEARS!!!! how could you! (in a good way), the damn fish, Mineta! Deku got to recover from his arm surrounded by experts and readers life had to go on, and I loved how she had that time to healed, learn, do what she wanted for herself, go on vacation, be with family 😭😭😭😭😭 it was really very bittersweet, but im so happy they earn they're happiness, and that at last they got to found each other again ❤ can't wait for the conclusion with Todoroki, I know that we'll get more info of the story in there, thank you for your words, your talent in them and how you make me feel o lot of things.

Pd: feel like this is not even close to everything that I felt while reading it but ugh I had to send you this anyway ! 💖💖💖

(a note: it’s not my birthday, i’m just answering this incredibly late :’))

psi. 💕 were you very surprised by the heel turn?? i have to admit, being in my own head like i was while plotting, it didn’t occur to me while writing it that our little detour during the ending would be—unexpected!! the trilogy has always been about the long game, so i’d definitely been looking at it from an over-arching angle. 🥹 shouto’s fic ends around the same time as deku’s! they go hand in hand, so while deku and scribbles have to deal with being on opposite sides of the planet (standing on opposite sides of a river of stars), shouto and his reader will be in the thick of things. 🥹 but i think deku and scribbles needed the time they had to heal. 🥺 they both went through so much.

psi!!!! thank-you so much for being apart of the fic while it was updating, and being there for the end. 🥹 your sweet messages have always meant to so much to me, as has your patience. i know you’ve found new stories to fall in love with, by now, and new adventures for the anime boyfriends you love to go on, but i want you to know that i’m always—then, now and still—so glad that you found these ones. 🥹 thank-you so much psi, always and always. 🌷🌾🎐💕

[skullfck]

@unpossession​ SAID:   Dear Hawk,

It’s late at night, you’ve just left (about an hour ago) and I keep wishing that you hadn’t; a letter will have to make up for the loss of your company. I’m still drunk, so please forgive my messy handwriting-

editors note: her handwriting is perfect. neat, girlish swirls for o’s, loopy l’s and perfect polka dots punctuate the i’s. each letter connected by a seemingly effortless swoosh of her pen. black ink barely smudged. she must be shitting him.

-and please also forgive any mushy, gushy talk that might come out of this. By morning I might have come to my senses and decided not to post (mail) this at all, but knowing me I will. I think it’s important to be earnest. When you care about somebody you should say it. Also, apparently I am just a fan of embarrassing myself out of commitment to the bit. Anyway. Feel free to skim read. I’m sure all this is going to be very silly in the light of day.

I tried reading after you left but I was too distracted by the empty space on my sofa where you were sitting, so I moved to that side hoping to fill the void and started to wonder what it’s like to be you. I started trying to take up more space, spread my legs (not like that, perv) in that way that guys always seem to without meaning, broadened my shoulders and slouched a bit. I tried to imagine myself where I was sitting but couldn’t seem to grasp my own face. You’re the first person I’ve had over since I moved in here, I wanted to know if I look happy here. I’ve been trying so hard to make it a place I will be comfortable in my own company. Now it seems I’m just chasing your ghost. Which is something I do. Obviously. I’m trying to stop that, too.

I have this problem where I never feel close enough to people. I wanted to say thank you for carrying me home tonight but it isn’t enough. I feel like I use words so much that they lose all meaning. I like that you don’t use too many even though you know how. I know you know how. I might take a vow of silence or something just to see what it’s like. There I go again, copying you. I’ll try to cut that out now. It’s almost impossible to go back to where I started once I get too into it. Somehow I don’t think I’ll pull it off the way you do.

I hope you’ll come back soon. I’m sorry for the things I said on the walk home. I meant all of it but I didn’t mean to say all of it. Things will be different here, I think. But I said that about New York and I said that about the old apartment and I let things inside and it ruins it all. I get lonely, and it’s not like I go looking for trouble but it seems to find me and swaddle me and make me feel safe in the chaos. I feel like if I lose myself in the dark then i won’t be me, and I’m really sorry, I know you like me and you think I’m sweet but I cannot stand being alone with myself. I’m not

You’re so handsome. I wish you’d stop smiling at me in my head. I wanna make you smile all the time and you’re so stoic most of the time. I was sitting in the bar waving my arms around like an idiot for that bartenders attention but really it was for yours, just to see if I could make you laugh. I made you laugh a lot tonight. Mission accomplished.

I can’t keep a thought straight. This is gonna be such a shit letter. Oh well. I’m gonna see you real soon, probably, and I’ll try not be in need of any carrying next time but I like being close to you, so maybe if you could just pretend I do, that would work out just fine.

With love,

Wednesday’s Child, full of whiskey.

Ps. I still think about that poem you wrote me when I touch myself.       ✠   send a MESSAGE?

The letter rests face-down on his chest, keeping him company during the high. Occasionally, he’ll lift it up and read it again, finding new meaning in every word and reopening a wound he didn’t even know he had. The drugs keep him from crying the same way he did when he first read it, but they can only numb so much. The ache is persistent, unyielding. Sometimes he has to change positions just to breathe. 

He wrote something, too, that night. Came home and scribbled some bullshit out onto a piece of paper that was promptly crumpled up and thrown away. You’re so handsome, I wish you’d stop smiling at me in my head, battling it out with the half-remembered fragment She thinks I’m handsome because / I don’t look her in the eyes too long. He’s so fucking worthless. She never should have sent this to him—she never should have written it. It’s a waste of talent, a waste of feeling, on somebody like him. 

He’s clinging to it like a lifeline, though. He’s wrapping himself up in the words like a warm blanket that still has the smell of somebody long gone. It’s such a human letter, full of human thoughts and ideas, and that innate goodness he always saw in her—so pure and raw and terrifying—bleeds all across the page. 

When he shuts his eyes, he goes back to that night and he doesn’t leave her house. He goes into her bedroom and he throws her on the bed like she’s been wanting him to do, cutting the clothes off her with a knife. When she parts her lips at the feeling of him he whispers into her mouth promise me you won’t let him inside, pinning her wrists above her head with one hand. She whimpers for him but doesn’t say anything so he says it again, growling this time, promise me you won’t fucking let him inside—

He comes to with the phone against his ear. It’s ringing, once, twice—and then she answers, because she never leaves him waiting long. He smiles sleepily. 

          “Hey, baby.”

[vintagepresley]

Thank you to doll-elvis for providing the article. I agree completely with you about it being more of a confusing thing for her rather than something she looks at as rpe. It’s probable that Elvis was gentle, romantic, and maybe even utilized foreplay with her every other time they had sex, and that one time included none of that, so that’s why she used the word forceful —not meaning it as rpe but meaning it as it being rough rather than gentle. I feel like in her book she does try to justify this encounter by saying he was under the influence, not his normal self. I feel like people forget that line. Anyway, it does make me sad that a couple who really did have a lot of love for each other…their last time wasn’t romantic, or sweet, or fully enjoyable. I think they both deserved the last time to be special. And I also wonder, if Elvis had been gentler, if there had been foreplay, and Priscilla was more prepared for the encounter, would it maybe have changed her mind about separating from him?

I knew @doll-elvis would be able to come through! I agree with the both of you on this. I do think people may have taken her saying he was forceful as her saying he basically r*ped her. When she could’ve just meant he wasn’t as gentle as she was use to. So to her that was forceful. Honestly, all these discusses have me wanting to reread her book again. I personally enjoyed it and loved reading about their happy times together and in no way felt she was painting him to be some monster as I stated in another post. I do feel they had a lot of love between one another despite what others may think. That man had love for her and I have no doubt about it. They had something no one can take away from them no matter how much people hate her. At one point in their lives they were happy together.

Wow, I totally love your insight on the last part of your message there. Now I’m wondering as well.. Would it have changed her mind about leaving if the said encounter wasn’t forceful? Just so many questions. 😭

[narutocharacterpolls]

Poll runner, I just want you to know that you're a gem. Sasuke haters will do what they do, so I'd recommend just ignoring them at this point - it's to be expected in this fandom anyways. Those of us who appreciate him are all having a ton of fun and holy shit we stay winning on the multiple, adorable fanworks this poll has inspired! Literally only your beloved Yahiko can rival that feat :)

Sasuke means so much to those of us who hold him dear and nothing can take that away (the propaganda list for him alone highlights this). If the haters get a kick out of making a tired meme, then that's their prerogative. What can you do? And by the way, just so it's said, I hope the actual Tenten fans have not been discouraged by their behavior either. You guys deserve to love your fave without all the mockery.

Just hope you're doing alright and still having fun with this. I hope it isn't getting too out of hand and I'm sorry things have gone in this direction. We appreciate all the work you've put into this!

ANON YOU’RE SO SWEET THANK YOU ❤️ I am doing my best to ignore it all, but I’m sure you can understand how hard that is for me especially. You’re right, we have gotten some AMAZINGGGG work today from so many lovely artists and writers (THANK YOU TO ALL THE ARTISTS WRITERS!!!!) and I’m really truly honoured to be a hub for inspiring so many people to create. Many have said that they haven’t done so in a while too, which makes it even sweeter! (And once again thank you to all the Yahiko artists too… I will NEVER forget that and it’s a very special memory to me.)

Very true, us Sasuke lovers will always still hold him just as dearly in our hearts, and we know how wonderful and special of a character he is. I know multiple people earlier on pointed out just how much seeing all the love in his propaganda meant to them, so if we do end up losing keep that close to your heart! I hope that the Tenten lovers won’t take any negativity there has been too roughly either!

It’s a lot to take right now just because my notifs and inbox are getting flooding with some less than pleasant things right now, but messages like this truly make it worth it! I appreciate you anon! This honestly made me feel a bit better :)

[kindestegg]

Heya! I'm curious to hear your opinion on the last episode in general, I don't think you've said much from what I've seen. Mainly on Collie and stuff, and especially what you think about them going away in the end there. Are you perhaps planning to write a post on that or anything? I just like your takes on things so I'm curious

... can I say something? It makes me stupidly emotional in a positive way that so many people have been showing interest in my opinions and thoughts about toh and collector. I knew my posts on them had gotten somewhat popular, but it genuinely surprises seeing how many people seem to think of me and want to hear what I have to say! You guys are too incredibly sweet and I just want to thank you!

This got... pretty long since I assumed you wanted an overall rundown of my thoughts on the episode not just focused on colly so uhhh... tagging it as long post.

As for my general thoughts on the episode... they are... uhhh A LOT of ohhhhh that's so cool ohhh that's so awesome... it was genuinely just a very fun high spirits episode for me, I was surprised seeing how easily colly was swayed and how willing he was to try and be friends... he is truly a very kind being! How strong raine was to push belos out and keep going, their ingenuity as well with all their movements!! They're so cool... the way they confirmed my suspicion that Collector really loves titans and knows a lot about their anatomy and culture!

I REALLY didn't think they were gonna do the Luz death fake out, that shocked me a lot since we already had a fake out with hunter, but now I'm starting to think they maybe did that to be a direct parallel to flapjack, as that one also featured the glowing lights rising. But then we met King's mom who is a total furbait for me so like!!! It's fine!!! Helloooo sexyyyyy!!!!!!! I love that they're genderfluid that got me so happy I love that he explains it by calling back to King's line about being queen and king that was already so damn transgender!!! I can't believe King is bigender just like her dad!!!

They have such good vibes anyway so it was really nice seeing them. Ngl I was kind of against seeing the titan again bc it was made such a point he was gone and we should mourn them, but she did kinda... die right after anyway so it's fine, and also again she is so cool it's kind of hard to not want him to have shown up. I love hiiiim. And then for that matter. Their conversation was so sweet and I love how it puts emphasis on two core themes of the series: the leftist sentiment of it being severely more important to fight to protect others genuinely from oppression and violence than to be respectable at those in power, and that Luz was never meant to be a chosen one, but she was a good kind person who deserved through her being there to be trusted. And is it not often just a matter of someone who is good choosing to do good when it counts?

I was a little sad that colly didn't get to do much fighting alongside the cast, but then again so didn't... most of the hexsquad! And his role was so important too, protecting everyone inside the Archives!! He is so very strong and i am so proud of him. Luzs titan form was so epic and her fight scene along with eda and King and eventually also raine was so cool!!!! And so was the scene with her just standing over belos... fuck yeah

I do not know if many more people noticed!! But the symbols around the titan as his spirit left luzs body were alchemical sun/gold symbols!! See!!! It's a titan symbol!! Also for that matter, the symbol on luzs chest on her titan design is the sun connected to the earth im pretty sure!! And i do love that King's dad said i love you with a bread pun but it is funny he almost... forgot to send any message lmao. It's okay though I'm sure she just wasn't prepared ♡

Ah and then the ending!! Was cute!! Personally I find the ending and epilogue pretty okay, I don't think it'll satisfy everyone of course, but I liked it well enough, everyone's endings felt nice. I HAVE actually spoken extensively (although more casually) about how I feel on Colly's fate, you can find that on my commander's answers tag as I responded to an anon on it, and I DO have a post about it planned but it will take... quite a long while to make, currently I am still laying down bullet points and I'm only to the second part of it and there are already four pages... uhm. Yeah. That and I'm starting to realize that it might make half the fandom want to crush me in a metal compactor. So thats fun. But well! I am committed to information above all!

Thank you again for the ask and for thinking of me!

[thewingedmuse]

FEEDBACK

First of all, you FREAKING LEGEND!!!

OH MY GOD!! YOU'RE A DAMN LEGEND. WHAT AN ICON 🔥❤

The reading. The freaking reading... 🤌🤌🤌

Let's forget about resonating for a minute but the effort, the art, the time, the energy, the freaking creativity, iconic, you're a legend. I can't stress enough how great and freaking amazing it is that you're doing this for people here, FOR FREE. I love you and really appreciate you for it ❤❤.

Sending all the love and good luck to you❤✨.

Now onto the reading, you took 2hours to do that, again, I am blessed and greatful. Will never forget that!

First of all, the warmth and peace that this reading had is out of the world. I loved every single bit of it and it was Somewhat calming effect on me.

The first paragraph, I think you're describing me or me, please clarify that for me :). That paragraph was so sweet and serene. It was calming and bright and the sea connection was so sweet. It's ironic and weird because I love the sea but i don't like being in it(like in the middle) because it scares me, but i love being on beach side and i can sit there for hours. I was also born in a very beach-y city. The description of this paragraph has my heart😭❤❤

If I am correct and this my soul then I am truly blessed❤.

Message from your soul.

The message has my heart ❤. Especially the part about the many treasure I will find in this lifetime. Some are meant for me and some are not. That's something I think I keep needing to hear, sometimes I forget that I can't have everything. I need to remember that somethings are for me and somethings are not.

The whole you going into the Portal was hella weird (in a good way) and mesmerizing 😭✨. Like the mystery, who's the man, the art, the architecture, the vibes, everything, immaculate ❤✨. My man is artistic and iconic it seems lmoa. Also, appearing as a someone else or not his true self, lmoa the drama.

This is something that i keep getting, the architecture or artistic, in a lot of readings. Its kinda weird now. I out of nowhere saw a reading on YouTube and that had weird emphasis on architecture and art. So that was cool and weird👀

The interview type of messages was cool and real.

It was cool seeing a side of him, even if not real. The questions and the answers were 😭❤❤. Why can't he be real!?

Again, the beach(where he met me in some lifetime), which is something I also heard in my yesterday YouTube reading. Again, weird but love it.

Lmao, when he revealed the real him was so funny to me for some reason. I didn't expect him to be what you said.

The answer to his favorite memories with me, plzzz 😭❤❤ and again, the ocean, damn I am the ocean at this point.

The question and answer to the precious things in connection with me. I got goosebumps, that was so surreal and sweet answer, I almost cried. Who doesn't want something like this, it's like a dream😭. That was so touching and heartful.

The part about marriage and then him remembering, plz make me cry won't you😭😭 but the butterflies, I don't know about chasing them but I do love them and whenever I see them, I always stop and stare or follow them with my eyes. Butterflies are really beautiful ❤

Lmao, not the twist in the end, I was like wtf!? 😂😂 still not over it, damn! I am honored ✨

The lessons we have taught each other, love that❤, that was so sweet.

I wanted you to clarify the name question, is it his name Or soul name Or what? I kinda got confused.

Anyway, what a reading, you're a legend. I love you and especially for this. The time and energy ✨🥰

Thank you so much for this reading, words can't tell you how greatful I am. Looking forward to your future content and your journey. Have a great day/night. Cheers❤🥂

THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR YOUR FEEDBACKKKKK and your appreciation ^^ long feedbacks make me very happy 💐✨

I'm so happy to hear that the reading had a calming effect on you, that means a lot to me so I'm glad you mentioned that.

1. In the first paragraph I was describing your soul, the purest and most divine essence of you, one that's free from mortal worries but instead transcends into divinity. The soul holds memories and lessons from all your past lives. Yes you are truly blessed indeed ❤️

2. Oh but he is very real indeed, it's just that at first he altered his appearance. The architecture and what he said about his career, his favourite designs and the playground garden place were all real.

3. Actually he didn't mention if it's his name, soul name or what. I'd say it's his name. For one he didn't appear to me in his soul form so I don't think he would give me his soul name either. He appeared to me as himself - a spiritual being who has a job as designer so I would say he gave me his name.

Btw I see your other ask too, I'll answer it now. Thank you for your kind words and your detailed feedback once again! Take care and have a fabulous day or night as fabulous as you.

[ackerfics]

Your art is absolutely beautiful and you're so talented, I normally don't send asks like this but I just knew that I had to send this, your parent trap story cleared up some stuff I was confused about when it came to my real life(it's a lot to explain so I won't) and it made me honestly so happy, you have no idea the level of warmth and happiness I get when reading that story, of course there's a sadness element to it but overall the love and the sweetness and the twins and friends/family, everything is beautiful.

Also you won't believe how similar my family is to the family in your story, it's actually scary🙃 the only difference is we don't live in London 😂 the garden everything is extremely similar to the one my parents have as well, one of my favorite places to be.

But anyway I absolutely adore this story so much, it's one of my favorites of all time genuinely GENUINELY SO GENUINELY I can't stress that enough, it brought me so much happiness and I just know I'm gonna be reading this everyday now(I have a tendency to do this with my favorite stories). I've been reading since I was so so so young and honestly this story makes me happy unlike any other I've read, it's like a fairytale I never knew I needed. I watched the parent trap before but I wish your story was an actual movie.

Anyway I've read your other stories and stuff on your blog and it's amazing how exceptionally talented and amazing you are. I Don't know if you'd ever wanna be a playwright or film writer or director or just a writer in general, but you'd be amazing at all of them and even if it's none of those, I hope all your dreams come true!!

I know this may seem a bit dramatic to some people or even you, that someone is THIS excited or happy about a story you wrote but like I said it genuinely made me so happy because not only could I relate to it, it helped me clear up a lot of things with myself and I'm so thankful for that.

I am actually this happy about this story, I remember reading it before I went to sleep and before I fell asleep I remember being eager to read it again😂 I have a tendency to hyperfixiate on things I absolutely love and basically become attached to and I already know that this is one of them🙃

But anyway I hope you get this and that it didn't sound fake, everything I said here I genuinely meant and as crazy as I may sound for the amount of love I have for the stories you write, all of that is my true feelings as well as my very hyper way of expressing how much I really do love and adore your stories.

Stay safe love!! Have a beautiful life because one day is too little 🥺💖(and I don't mean this in a "I'm not gonna stay on your blog" way but more in a "I'm still here but this is how I normally love ending my asks especially to people I adore").

receiving this kind of messages never fail to overwhelm me because as much as i say that writing stories is merely a pastime for an always-exhausted college student, it always brings me joy in the form of you, lovely visitors of my blog. and i'm sorry for answering this days late -- i can't seem to formulate my answer every damn time. the urge to cry upon reading messages like this got the best of my thoughts. so, thank you so so so much <3.

omg you have a garden ?? that's actually amazing !! i hope it will always serve as your little place of comfort. thank you for loving the tpt au with levi, your adoration for it makes me so happy since it's one of the first stories i placed out here. and writing, for me, is a form of escape because since i was young, it's already been decided that i would be pushed in a more medical path (which sucks because i love the arts more than anything but alas, i must be a generic firstborn daughter of an asian family). how i wish being a writer is part of my future :<. again, i'm so happy that tpt helped you in some way, whether small or not !! it's one of the many goals i have as a writer here. and don't worry, love, it's not dramatic because i for one have things i get so hyperfixated on ;>. it's one of the many things that keep me grounded so it's an honor that you feel that way with tpt.

i felt every single thing you carefully placed in this ask <3 and i truly appreciate it. it made me feel better. i adore how much thought you put in here. and i love your little goodbye -- that's so precious. truly, one beautiful day is too little and i return it to you -- i hope you have so many beautiful tomorrows, anon !! thank you, again, for brightening my day (or week).

here have a little daisy --🌼.

[anaalnathrakhs]

AND it's gonna be christmas again YAY i have to spend so much money and time looking for inane gifts for cunts i hate, because else i deserve to fucking die.

i must've been in my early teens, my mom had smth to do in paris one weekend so we went for the two days and spent sunday visiting. we stumble upon a shop selling merch, and we notice a figurine of a comic she collects and loves, so i'm like hey lmao that's neat, mothers' day is pretty soon, that'll be your gift. and i buy it with my allowance, and i give it to her, and look everything's nice. and like two weeks later, on mothers' day, in the evening she walks up to me with tears in her eyes and says that it hurts her soooooo much that i didn't wish her a happy mothers' day. and i'm like 😶 in the hallway.

sorry you wanted a congratulation card for dragging me to pedopsychologists despite it clearly clearly not working? you wanted hugs for letting me rot in involuntary inpatient and showing zero empathy besides "sowwy that you can't see you're a stupid bitch and this is actually sooooo good for you"? you wanted a cake with a message on top to thank you for taking three business months of screaming our heads off at each other to stop doing shit that made my life worse? you wanted me to have the yearly and daily responsability to make you feel like you're a beloved mom and not someone who caused me a lot of pain who i'm trying to be chill with anyway? go fuck yourself.

from the same people who took like AT LEAST three or four years to understand "NO BIRTHDAY GIFTS NO CHRISTMAS GIFTS" meant NO GIFTS like really NO GIFTS no notebooks no chocolates no letters no plushies no NOTHING keep it fucking keep it stop pretending you know what gift i'd like you can't even listen to what i TELL YOU WITH MY CLEAR LITERAL WORDS.

but no. i gotta keep being sweet and kind and thoughtful, and scour libraries and shops for hours every birthday, every mothers' day, every fathers' day, every christmas, so i can smile and say i hope you like it, and spend money on these fucking gifts. and sit there with the whole family as they unpack it and go whoaaaaah lemme thank whoever bought this one!!!!!!! and hug them and exchange pleasantries and talk to them abt the gift when i want to be three weeks later and OVER this whole fucking season.

yay!! my life is nothing but an elaborate lie desperately trying to be my parents' perfect exotic trick-performing pet!! i resent them i hate them but at the same time i cost them so much money and time and i was such a terrible fucking creature to sustain for so many years i owe them to spend all the money in the allowance they give me and all the time i can to repay my debt to them even just a little. i'm too weak and stupid to be worth anything outside of that, and even if i somehow managed to live by myself i'll never be free because i have to pay for their retirement home. i have to help them. i don't fucking deserve to be selfish and cut contact, like what, i was a parasite for the first two decades of my life, and now i took all i needed i leave them to die? and i do that until i'm like 50 years old and they die off? literally what option does that leave me with except killing myself as soon as possible?

[betterloverthanrosee]

hey. just wanted to tell you that you are worthy regardless of your weight and looks. only real jackasses would judge you by that. it's all impermanent anyway. as corny as it sounds, all that matters is inside - your wit, intelligence, kindness, honesty, loyalty, etc. that's what makes you a worthy human being in my opinion. anyway, you have my deepest sympathy as someone who's been struggling with an ed and body image issues for most of my life and it made me miss out on so much in life. don't know whether that's the case for you but please don't lose out on life because of a few extra pounds which is literally just... some fat on our body. keep safe, keep living.

Oh my god, that was sooo sweeett 😭😭. Early morning, I open tumblr and this sweet message is waiting for me. Thank you so much for this, I really wanted to hear that.

I am trying my best not to miss out on anything and currently working on myself to get in better shape, both and mentally and physically.

Thank you again, this really meant a lot 🫶

[alwaysmicado]

Hi!

Just wanted to say I love your writing ❤️

I love your series “you wanted this” read it several times and can’t wait for the next chapter!

As I was reading the last chapter, i could not help but think that Joel sees reader as someone to have fun with and not someone you settle down with, for the moment anyway, and that’s why he went on that date.

I can’t wait for him to explain himself!

I hope reader ghosts him a little bit, he kinda of deserves it.

Byyyeeeeeee hugs 🥰

Anon, this is the sweetest message ever! 🤍

I've read it ten times by now and it makes me so incredibly happy to know that you're out here enjoying something I wrote! 🥹 Thank so much you for your support, it really means the world to me!!

I LOVE that you're thinking about Joel's motivation and reader's potential reaction! My thoughts below the cut:

If we look at all of their interactions, it's obvious that Joel likes her a lot. We see him asking her to stay in pt. 1, he takes care of her in pt. 2, and then they have an honest and very insightful conversation in pt. 3:

“You remember what I told you when you asked me to stay over on our first night together?” You ask quietly. “I do,” Joel says softly. “You said you couldn’t and when I asked what you meant by that you said you didn’t wanna get attached.”  “Sounds kinda mean now that I’m thinking about it,” you murmur. “You know it has nothing to do with you, right?” “I know, darlin’,” Joel reassures you. “And I’ve told you from the beginning that I’m not gonna pressure you into anything you’re not ready for. We got a good thing going and as long as you’re happy, I’m happy.”

It's Joel who wants more, but he respects reader's boundaries.

Reader seems to confront her feelings a bit more after that. We see her take care of Joel in pt. 4 and she even stays with him this time. Then we have pt. 5 where she's emotional and finds the polaroid and then opens up to Joel about her feelings.

Reader has good intuition, she totally knew I was gonna hurt her in pt. 6 lol.

Maybe he told her about the date because he wants to be honest and it's not a big deal in his mind? Just a date Tommy set up and he has no intention to go further with that woman anyway? Reader's been seeing other guys all this time, so why can't Joel go on a simple date?

Seems like someone's jealous 🫣. Plus the whole Laura/Simon trauma reader has doesn't help...

At this point, I feel like they both need to re-evaluate their feelings and communicate them honestly. But they're both human and will make mistakes, soooo we'll see if they can make up in pt. 7 😉.

As for the ghosting, I feel like he'd kinda deserve it a little. Telling her about the date seconds after coming inside her was such a dick move lmao. He better have a good explanation and/or give her the best orgasm ever to make up for that!!

Jump into my DMs if you wanna talk more about this or literally anything else... Thank you again for your sweet message!! ☺️🤍