#it makes me want to go back and rewatch everything
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So I rewatched "Our Town" last night and when I sat down at my laptop this morning to do something that was not writing, I ended up writing instead. These things happen. Just a silly fluffy-ish little thing because omg that ep is so gross and also Scully has to be getting sick of being abducted all the time. Mulder feels the same way.
She can’t sleep. It’s not every day you almost get beheaded—even after everything that she’s already been through this year, it seems there are still things that can shake her up pretty badly. She rolls over on the lumpy motel mattress and tries to get comfortable. For a glorious moment, she considers quitting. Handing Skinner her resignation and walking away, finding a nice job with regular hours where people won’t handcuff her to radiators, stick her in closets, contort their stretchy bodies through cracks in her bathroom window, or drive her around in the trunks of their cars before handing her over to aliens or the government or whatever theory Mulder’s going with right now. A job where she won’t spend the end of a work day strapped into a metal harness as a guy in a mask raises an ax above her head.
In her mind she pictures a simple life: a nice house with a yard, a dog greeting her as she opens the door and walks inside after a long day at the hospital…no, a private practice? A day of teaching? Whatever she’s been doing, she walks into a kitchen that smells like home-cooked dinner, leaning up to kiss her faceless husband who’s vaguely Mulder-shaped. “Honey, I’m home!” “Dinner’s almost ready! How was your day?” “Fine. Narrowly avoided decapitation. Nothing exciting.” Fuck. Not even fantasy-Scully can escape the absurdity of this life.
The knock on her door doesn’t even surprise her. She already knows who it is. He stopped waking her unless it’s something really important, so she groans and gets up, her bones aching, weeping inwardly as she makes her way to the door. So she can’t sleep; that doesn’t mean she wants to spend the night going over their case report or whatever that infuriatingly charming insomniac wants from her this time.
But when she opens the door, he doesn’t look as if he wants to go over case reports. He looks like shit. As much as that’s even possible for him. Another thing that’s simply unfair about her life, she thinks with a sigh. Even with bags under his eyes and pale as a sheet he still looks beautiful. “Mulder?” she says.
He doesn’t answer, just steps right into her and pulls her into a wordless hug, so tight she’s a little afraid he’ll crack her ribs. She hugs him back weakly and pats his back, not quite sure what else to do since she has no idea what the fuck he’s even doing. She expects him to pull back, but he just keeps holding on, and she’s genuinely having trouble breathing.
“Uh, Mulder?” she says again, a little louder.
“You’re okay,” he mumbles into her hair, and she wiggles in his arms, trying to loosen his grip.
“Not for much longer if you don’t let go.”
“Sorry.” He drops his arms and takes a step back, but keeps looking at her like he’s never seen her before. “Sorry, I just—”
“It’s fine,” she says. “Did you have a bad dream?”
He shakes his head. “I couldn’t sleep.”
“Yeah.” She grimaces. “Me neither. It’s been…a day.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asks, and she laughs. She’s too tired not to.
“Thanks to your timely rescue, my head is still firmly attached to my body.” It sounds a little bitter, and she’s surprised at herself before she feels another little piece of her frustration clicking into place. Ah, yes, she thinks. There’s that too. Rescued once again. She makes a mental note: fantasy-Scully in her little imaginary suburban nine-to-five utopia will never have to be rescued. She’s gonna be the one doing all the rescuing. Except nobody needs to be rescued in that perfect little world, because nothing bad ever happens to anyone.
“You don’t sound okay,” Mulder says, and she closes her eyes for a second. She’s not annoyed with him, she reminds herself. It’s not his fault that she became part of these townsfolks’ dinner plans, and it’s not his fault that she needed him to keep that from happening.
“I’m just a little tired.”
“I’ll let you sleep.” He sounds exhausted and when she looks at him, she sees leftover fear in his eyes. “No more interruptions, I promise.”
Her hand reaches out for his before she’s fully conscious of what she’s doing. It’s just that he’s here and she’s had enough of being Agent Scully for tonight, and he really looks so much like Doctor Scully’s faceless dinner-cooking husband in her nice little fantasy home. “Come on,” she says.
“What are you—”
“Bed,” she explains, hoping he won’t ask any more questions.
“Oh. Okay.”
She gets in on her side and is relieved when he lies down next to her without another word. She closes her eyes, but she can feel him stock-still as a statue next to her, she can feel the tension radiating off of him, and, hell, it sounds like he’s even trying to breathe without making a sound. So she grabs his arm and rolls onto her side, tugging him with her until he has his back against her chest, and she holds firmly onto his hand and snuggles back into him.
“Scully?” he asks, sounding a little confused.
“Relax, Mulder,” she tells him. “Sleep.”
“Are you sure?”
“About sleeping?”
“You know what I mean.”
She laughs and squeezes his fingers. “No. Of course not. But honestly? I really don’t care right now.”
“Okay,” he says, and he gets it, she knew he’d get it. “Okay,” he repeats, and laces their fingers together. She feels him lift his head, feels his hot breath against the side of her face, and then a gentle kiss against the corner of her eye. “Good night, Scully.”
“Good night, Mulder.”
Behind her closed eyelids, fantasy Scully lies just like this with her faceless partner, who’s just as warm and smells just as good as real Scully’s friend-partner spooned up behind her. The only difference is that her own real Mulder is…well, real. No matter how perfect her beautiful little dream house with her beautiful perfect husband may be, she kind of prefers snuggling with someone who has a face and a name. And maybe she’d actually miss the mess.
Not all of it. Not the ax-swinging, homicidal maniacs or the lumpy motel mattresses. But a partner who knocks on her door in the middle of the night because he couldn’t sleep without making sure she was okay? Who sleeps wrapped around her with his breath ruffling the hair at the back of her neck, knowing this isn’t leading anywhere other than comfort and friendship? And…she kisses the backs of his fingers once she convinces herself he’s probably asleep…a vague hope that maybe this won’t always be all there is between them?
Yeah. She’ll take it.
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Farewells at the End of All Things...
#dimension 20#d20#neverafter#neverafter spoilers#mother timothy goose#d20 puss in boots#ylfa snorgelsson#gerard of greenleigh#princess elody#d20 pinocchio#d20 cinderella#d20 scheherazade#my art#still processing all this but I really loved the little goodbyes everyone got before the epilogue#it makes me want to go back and rewatch everything#they've come so far and deserve their happily
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I just think Hunter was obsessed with Willow and didn't even know it during the period from any sport in a storm to labyrinth runners. They maybe don't talk as often as they could, they're both busy and have conflicting schedules, so when they do talk, Hunter absorbs everything she says.
After roughly 3 weeks of texting (hexting? I feel like the kids would call it hexting), He knows that her favorite colour is orange, she likes her tea with extra milk and a bit of honey during winter, she likes working out to the noisiest angriest music in her playlist, her dad Gilbert is a construction witch who specialises in pottery, she used to listen to breakup songs and think about her childhood best friend (Hunter doesn't know it's Amity) and she actually has a mild pollen allergy despite being a plant witch and has to take potions for it.
He casually drops all this info piece by piece during their stay in the human realm and willows like. Well I can't not marry him. It'll have to be a winter or fall wedding to account for her allergies </3
#ramblings of a lunatic#the owl house#toh#hunter toh#willow park#huntlow#Hunter is often ignored and hides and compartmentalizes his identity in order to survive and be respected = his love language is listening#he doesn't just go quiet around Willow bc he's shy (tho that's definitely a factor) he's also like wow everything you say is amazing#i want to listen to you 24/7#(Willow realizes this and thinks back to how often she was ignored and isolated-#-and how it made her feel worthless and she's like. i must make him my bride)#i haven't rewatched in a while so i can't exactly tell how much of this is self indulgent and how much is like. actually character accurate#it's in limbo but it feels true to me#we don't know the details of their text exchanges beyond him sending her (presumably) a cute pic of flapjack#I've seen ppl argue that they didn't talk much over text bc she's slightly suspicious of him at first in labyrinth runners#but tbh I've always chalked that up to the general mindfuckery going on at hexside at that time#ergo she couldn't immediately trust that this was actually Hunter until he mentioned something specific about Gus#so i like to imagine it was semi-frequent chatting but i payed lip service to the idea that it wasn't super duper close#playing both sides so I always win etc etc#this is really just a covert way of babbling my willow headcanons
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Honestly your tags are so fun to read every time, i'm almost more excited for them than the actual post (but not entirely because your art is SO GOOD!!!! i adore it). If you don't mind me asking, what are you studying?
i am studying psychology because i refuse to see a therapist so ill figure out whats wrong with me myself !!!!!!!
#snap chats#WITH. a minor in human resources ☝️ because im evil or something#and whatever character/s i decide to fixate on for the next three years i will also psychoanalyze them I Guess. //loud coughing//#tbh i only saw a therapist to get medicine but since bloodwork is expensive without insurance i dont even do that anymore. sad !#but yeah im a certified rambler if i dont share every thought i have so people understand me as much as i want them to ill die#which is why charles xavier if youre out there you have full rights to my brain .......... //gross wink sound//#why cant telepaths be real itd make my life so much easier. i woudnt have to talk a mile a minute anymore#because i do talk very fast because growing up my mom would cut me off a lot#so now i talk fast in fear of being cut off without all my thoughts being heard. anyways.#thank you for also enjoying my art :] a sideshow to the glory that is my tags i KNOWWW but im glad my efforts are not unnoticed 😌#back to My Major tho when i was in middle school i thought i wanted to go into comic books#but then i thought id lose my love for drawing if i did it professionally so now i do it. semi professionally#on my own terms babyyyy thats right. and if im lucky i get paid to draw my faves im living the dream babes#thats why my text posts take nine years for me to type im legitimately sitting here thinking if i said everything i wanted#and if i worded it right but even then after it's up im like 'but did i word it right tho' but its like 'bro just fucking POST IT'#'ITS NOT THAT DEEP' its as my favorite professor once told me 'youre very paranoid' and he's right !!!! im very paranoid 🥰#ok im done now. see thats why i say Ok Im Done Now its a sign im forcing myself to shut UP#wait not done Almost but not quite i was rewatching 97 to Try to get caps of charles in his combat uniform#and i fear i still cackle at erik telling charles to shut up like PLEAAASSE...... i need that bit CLIPPED#it makes me giggle ... someone remind me to clip all of erik's cameos in the squirrelgirl podcast btw#ive been meaning to do that for weeks but. oops <3 i need all my grandpa's moments CATALOGUED and AT THE READY..#ok i done fr now i have class with my you're-paranoid professor in like an hour and i wanna get some work done before then#BYYYYYEEEE. FOR LIKE TWENTY MINUTES PROBABLY IDK
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I note that I don't, and I never, was much of a fan of doctor-and-rose as romance, but that I -- rather than get annoyed at the romantic-coded scenes -- had a tendency to simply read them from a totally different perspective, and really maybe should have been a sign of sooomething different about me, that I continuously felt that the doctor's concepts of connection must be so alien, that to call it romance would be to diminish the actual Thing that they had, which was presented as such onscreen (to my mind then, now I realise what was happening, but I prefer what I had going on), which is basically that the doctor was a shell of a person, hurtling towards destruction (he would have died without rose in ep1), desperately lonely and sad and traumatised, and she retaught nine -- and by extension ten -- how to love the universe, at the same time as nine and ten taught her the same. (I think about the scene in father's day, where while they're arguing, rose says that she knows how sad he is, and he'll just hang around the tardis waiting for her -- she knew!)
and then on top of that with sarah-jane (which, I never watched the classics as a kid, so I didn't have that context for her beyond what the episode presented) it felt like that was sort of confirmed and made even more canon through this idea that the doctor is constantly mourning the inevitable deaths of their companions and would rather simply leave them behind at some point than watch that happen (and they've seen that happen before, although dying for a cause versus just... dying, because you die, while they don't, they just continue on and on, always seeking connection, always knowing that time will take them away, that's a whole other thing)
and then of course there's ten's... I would call it "sex appeal" because it's david tennant and with his performance there's immediately a bit of a focus on oh he's quite pretty and he faints/is knocked unconscious in both of his first episodes, and a lot more flirting, and the people want to see sparks or what have you... but the doctor as portrayed and written is still... not coming at it that way. yes yes girl in the fireplace but also, once again, doesn't work for me, because I find it soooo much more interesting that the doctor would imprint on A Life - and a life that they admire -- and speedrun the exact thing that they're most afraid of with their companions... that she ages and dies and it's the one thing that the doctor simply cannot stop
meanwhile rose is quite young and swept up in this whole massive adventure and very much reads the doctor not as an alien (frequently surprised by their alien-ness) and gets jealous of sarah-jane as if she's an ex, and renette as if she's... a replacement? but really it's more that the doctor met her at the point when she was about to accept her life as it was. not an exciting life, not a bad life, but always having to ignore the idea that there must be more to it than this. and the idea that she might be unceremoniously dumped back in that after seeing just how This the this could be, of course that's terrifying. and of course she's simultaneously taken with the dashing doctor and the jetset life, and worried she could be replaced, because to her the doctor saved her at 19 years old. in some ways the doctor created her (considering who she becomes after dooms day)
contrasted to martha who initially has a similar kind of experience, but the doctor doesn't meet her at the space she's in with them -- ten is leaning on her, like they did with rose, but not giving anything back unless kicking and screaming and traumatising her whole family. martha's trajectory is so so tragic, because she barely gets a taste of the splendor versus the horrors and the latter marks her for life. but she also knows to walk away from those overwhelming feelings, rather than give into them, she knows they'll never be rewarded and she also grows beyond wanting to be a crutch for the doctor (the fact that she then ends up as a soldier, well... ouch)
and then of course donna, who never has those fucking awe-feelings to begin with and whose connection with the doctor is explicitly de-romanticised but never placed on a lesser pedestal as if there's a hierarchy of alloromanticism. topples those pillars, never sees the doctor as anything but what the doctor is. good old donna. (sobs.) (but also... cautious hope for the specials.) (but also sobs.)
my point being. just don't buy alloromantic doctor, they're a near-immortal alien. it's such a dull simplistic way of reading their relationships to other beings. other point being. all those women who were making heart-eyes at ten, wish they'd met thirteen and had a... "yeah, this still works for me," moment. their horizons, too, are broadened by seeing More. (that or they realise they were never actually "in love" but just thought ten was a sexy skinny little snack and it blinded them.) (although jodie whittaker, too, is a snack.)
and lastly lastly ofc, is that if the doctor has a longterm (by doctor time measurement) intense relationship with anyone, whatever that might be called, it's the tardis. and that relationship is also so alien it cannot be quantified by human words for concepts
#im rewatching doctor who#doctor who#dw#aroace doctor#look im rewatching into 13 and beyond i am willing to entertain yaz and 13 because we enjoy a good bit of lesbianism#however will wait and see because the doctor in my head is so so aroace in every incarnation#they just manifest it in different ways#i could go into the whole eleven-and-river and how i feel about that#i am perhaps in the minority in that river's arc just doesn't work for me and often neither does her character#i kind of want to listen to the audio adventures because ive heard she's got much more to do there#than be a flirty enigma/sexy lady/moffat fantasy#but i can say that one of my least favourite things about moffat's run was how 'sexy' he tried to make everything#by literally just having people use the word sexy all the time and talk about bad girls and what have you#it's like sexiness as written by a straight teenage boy#and not a supposedly grown man writing for grown people#other minority opinion perhaps but eleven just isn't my cup of tea#am interested in how i'll feel going back into that run#dont like matt smith much dont like moffat much and dont like what they envisioned for the doctor and how they directed/acted the doctor#feel like capaldi had to claw the character back into some semblance of thematic coherency#i was never too much into especially ten getting a bit high and mighty with lonely god and the like titles BUT#waters of mars places that in a very particular context that makes it so so gooood#(another post for another day about companion opinions)
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The Untamed (2019) // “You’re Not a Girl in a Movie,” Hala Allan
#IT'S JUST--that he was dead at the beginning!! he was dead at the end!!! he's always been in a state of loss born from a second chance that#wasnt so kind--to be taken in by a family but with the unspoken agreement between your guardians#that you will not always be second to your siblings but that you are expected to give them anything you are---and he would have done#it anyway. is the thing. he didnt need madam yu's anger or sect leader's guilt. he would have done what he did#for jiang chang even if they had all lived. because what does life mean to you when you've always existed in an in-between state of having#ost it / owing it to someone else? it's that he should have died the first time as a child#and in his mind everything was---borrowed time. what the wens said to him as a thank you#being the process he's always existed within even without realizing#to do as much good as possible--to be a hero even one that no one but tens of people no one will listen to#believe you to be. because its never been about fame or acclaim but about what doing what no one#had done for him: protect / sheild/ help someone who cant help themselves because that's what you trained for; thats why youre alive#his siblings / their lives & careers & reputuations / lan zhan's reputation / his#old sect's reputation / the wen's existence / innocent lives that didnt bring anyone back#they just made the walls even more red#its that he died and died again & there's always going to be somewhere darker for you to go#when you never even expected to make it there#JUST. FUCK. rewatching this four years later & making me realize how much it was all the first time its. its.#his life was never his!! it was never his until an abused kid gave him life to not only bring wei wuxian back#but to give him. his own existence--absent of anything he didnt choose to incorporate. no more#loved ones means no more expectations which means more time to find. what you want. what you need.#and that he never expected lan zhan to be waiting for him---trying to 'spare' him from wei wuxian's presence even then#oh god. oh god.#im not making any sense but WHATEVER ITS MY POST I& im having . a time.#the untamed#mdzs#wei wuxian#wei ying#lan zhan#wen qing#wen ning
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the media which consumes your entire soul at age 12 will forever be a part of you. this is an unavoidable consequence of living and you have to accept this fact. no matter how old you get, no matter how long it has been since you last saw its smug face peeking out from the bushes as it follows you, no matter if you think you have outrun it for good and that you're finally finally safe and you hardly even remember it exists anymore and your brain knows a few brief moments of true peace, it WILL catch up to you in your moment of weakness. and listen you don't want to hear this but sometimes this is necessary for your mental health. you will on instinct want to reject it and run away again but sometimes. sometimes you just need to watch that old show or listen to that silly song or read that weird book again as an adult and it will hurt you a little bit in various little ways but it will also heal you a little bit. you can call it nostalgia you can call it connecting with your inner child or whatever you want but just listen to me it WILL HAPPEN TO YOU TOO AT SOME POINT AND YOU HAVE TO BE PREPARED FOR THIS (i am forcibly dragged off the stage by security)
#heed my warning boy#it seems i am not well today#recently made the reluctant decision to revisit what was probably my VERY FIRST real hyperfixation#something that i don't necessarily want to mention by name right now because. well#its pretty objectively bad LOL like i dont think i know of ANYONE still posting about it or really proud of having liked it back in the day#i dont think it is as well known to the general public so it wont get me hunted down for sport even if i did name it probably hopefully#but for those who know its. probably not the best thing to be revisiting lmao (even though i think it might still be being made?? wtf)#but i felt i had to because i was about to start my period and was going crazy insane like you do you know how it is#and i randomly remembered a fanfic i loved and then remembered my fav character and how much i loved him#my actual first ever blorbo oh my GOD he was everything to me#so i reluctantly decided to rewatch “just the first few episodes” just to see how much i remembered and also to prove to myself it sucks#but surprise surprise: nostalgia and hormones are making me actually kind of enjoy it#and now i am suffering from fucking Catholic-like Guilt for not hating it which i think is pretty silly lmao#so im kind of posting this in an attempt to convince myself that its like. FINE and cringe is dead and all that#and that sometimes i gotta be nice to my little mentally ill brain and give it the junk food (bad media) it craves#ESPECIALLY when im on my period LMAO#anyway completely unrelated: why the FUCK do i still remember almost every single fucking word to the delicious tomato song SDHJFKSAJF#i hope no one actually reads this far in the tags bc i know that reveal will probably deal psychological damage to some of you LMAO SORRYYY#ok yeah posting this and then immediately going to bed so that the Haters cant reach me LOL SEE YA
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Gonna be totally honest, I don't get how anyone can feel actual dislike towards Thirteenth and series 11-12. Indifference, yes, hatred/dislike? Why?
Edit: aaaand this got long, like most of my DW rants. Settle in, grab a cup of tea, a... Handful of dirt.
I just rewatched Praxeus and Can You Hear Me (12x06-07) and they're so interesting? So refreshing?
Edit: I'm mostly talking about Praxeus here because that's the aspect I want to develop, but Can You Hear Me is also very interesting to discuss in regards to another aspect of the show, less meta and more narrative. We'll get back to this later. Maybe.
First, Segun Akinola's score is beautiful. I already talked about it in another one of my posts (that I'm not going to look up now otherwise I'll be up til dawn), but it's subtler than Murray Gold's, but still very present and atmospheric. It's melancholic, and metallic, and ethereal, very 2020s, which totally suits Thirteenth. She's very paradoxical, Thirteenth, she's both very present and very distant, exactly like the music that surrounds her. I feel like this gif below, from Praxeus, describes rather well the feelings Akinola's music incite. The sort of wonder and nostalgic anxiousness at the beauty, force and fragility of planet Earth.
Secondly, the storylines in general are so much more... I wanna say heavy, but not in a negative or literal way. Heavy, as in, they get you to places in your psyche that you hadn't considered before, or in a long time. Which is something that Doctor Who has always done, by the way. But the feeling I get from having watched 2 episodes of Eleventh, one of Twelfth and 2 of Thirteenth in 3 days, is that previous narratives don't want to be too explicit about what they're about.
I'll explain. Praxeus talks about pollution, of the planet and of our own health. Other DW episodes have talked about that theme (though I cant think of one right now), but always in a manner that lets the viewer be reassured/distracted by the scifi elements. Praxeus is direct, and real. And I know what the critics are, "it's so preachy, it's so paranoid, bla bla". But... It's not? It's the actual reality? And what is science-fiction if not putting in the light our reality? What is Doctor Who if not a show about humans and Earth, at its core? And yes, maybe it's much more direct than before, but I invite you to look around you, look at the 21st century, look at these first years of the 2020s. The time for subtlety and gentleness is long gone, direct action, direct call to what must be corrected is what's needed.
And that's the strength of Doctor Who, I think, its adaptability to its time.
#doctor who#dw#dw series 12#thirteenth doctor#13th doctor#jodie whittaker#dw meta#dw rant#rapha is being a whovian#praxeus#segun akinola#i'm going to finish rewatching series 12 and then i'll rewatch series 13#because i am ENJOYING it and 13th is a delight and yaz is my depressed lesbian sister and i adore them#and it's actually making me sad seeing people hate on them#maybe there are some weak episodes but that's not new - go back to look at the first seasons of new who - there was some bad there too#and it's not the writing. it's not a question of bad writing. it's just not.#my opinion is that people don't want to acknowledge that doctor who has always been about the hard truths of the universe in general and#our human western society of the 20th-21st centuries in particular and they're mad because now the writing is making it clear#but like. the very FIRST episode back in 1963 was about humans learning to use and make fire and starting some fires on the way#if that's not telling you everything you need to know about the show... i don't know what to tell you anymore#anyway this is getting super long#whovians i invite you to INTERACT with my rants it feels like y'all are sleeping#what's going on why are you as a collective fandom not liking meta discussions?#doctor who is such a perfect show for meta and literary analysis come talk to me
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Brad Jo Dana Evil Gang.........I love it
#i want to see them fuck shit up#I WANT TO SEE DESTRUCTION AND TORMENT ❗#s4 when i am going to love every second#anyways yes. after an absolute ROLLERCOASTER of a month I have finished mythic quest</3#best show eva every1 is insane and i love that for them<3333#ian and poppy r everything to me. they really just fight and make up and repeat they need to go see the toxic codependent coworkers#equivalent of a couples therapist#they are both both the host and parasite please and thank you. it's symbiotic#brad back in his homie era we love to see it. i love when he's evil#someone said i hope they don't ever reform him i wamt him dripping in sin or something like that idk who but YOU'RE SO RIGHTTRUEAND REAL#absolutely here for the dana corruption arc. i love rachel/dana as a pairing but oh how fun this is gonna be#brad and jo continue to be my faves 2 the end. they are both softies in several layers of insane person armour and i can NOT ask for#more than that in a character#they were written for me<333#mq#mythic quest#evil gang 😈#oh and yes btw I am absolutely going 2 rewatch right away 😭#I just know it'll be so different second time round bc i know and love all the characters now#also watching s1 from a post breaking brad perspective will be..... something#i just wanna see everlight again okay. i have not been the same since that day and i don't think i ever will be
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I'll be honest, I HATE when media is spoiled for me. Like any amount at all. Idc if it's just like "This person has a sibling" I DON'T WANT TO KNOW, LET ME FIND OUT.
and the WORST is when people are like 'it's okay this isn't really a spoiler' and then explain half the plot to me like?!?!??
I'll see spoiler warnings for media I've never even HEARD OF and still skip the post just in case XD
#and i HATE when a commercial practically gives away the most crucial points in a movie or something#like... why would i watch the movie now that you've basically told me everything that's going to happen#and i know that people will be like 'oh well if the story is ruined by revealing a twist then it's a bad story to begin with' buT#i dont want ANYTHING revealed to me idk#like... im not saying it makes sense or is good but i like to consume stuff based on vibes#maybe a blurb on the back of a book and or like a genre#but i am the type of person who does not take joy in consuming something more than once maybe its an adhd thing idk#but i get bored if i have already seen something before and have to see it again#so like idk maybe it IS bad storytelling if i can't watch something more than once otherwise im bored#because there definitely are movies that i enjoy rewatching; namely musicals#because im in it for the theatrics and the Fun and not the story#am i making any sense?!??
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I'm on hiatus from thinking for the next while. Discursive and analytical fandom practices I love you so so much you are in everything I do, including the silliest of headcanons and comics but FUCK I am not equipped to think about. Anything right now
#ramblings of a lunatic#tbh my art muscles are exhausted too so i think I'm just gonna. be a bottom feeder for a little while.#like a deep sea creature letting plankton drift into it's mouth on the ocean floor yknow#hard to do when half your dash is about stuff u are not a part of and the other half is abt the fandom that's in hiatus#and approaching it's finale (and the end of a show should NOT be the end of a fandom it should NOT but. i know how these things play out)#and i can't just rewatch the episodes bc I've literally seen them too many times now#and watching them is like. oh hey episode! blink. it's over#bc everything is MEMORIZED AT THIS POINT#the obvious answer would be to go watch something else rn but i keep TRYING AND IT'S NOT WORKING. I ONLY WANT THE SPRINTEREST RN#but i also don't if that makes sense. i want the spinterest to be new but also comforting and different but also the same#aka i want a new episode to release bc i dislike the quiet fandom during hiatus BUT i don't want it to air bc then the show is over#so I'm just kinda. sitting here. frustrated#sitting on all my art and text posts bc I'm in a funk rn and none of them feel Right™#bc (CIRCLING BACK AROUND TO THE ACTUAL BODY OF THIS POST) they're all my usual hc/analytical fair#but i like to always have a good sense of character when i make those but those require REWATCHES FOR ME and i CAN'T REWATCH#BC OF ALL THE ABOVE THINGS I MENTIONED#oh man. i feel a bit better writing it down though. getting it out there somewhere in a semi-articulate way#I'm not done with my current hyperfixation- far from it depending on how the show ends- I'm just pre-bummed about the finale#and how it's gonna impact the fan environment that normally supplements my own fan activities like rewatches fanart etc#ohhhh my god that felt good to explain#it's to no one in particular but it felt good. this talking about your feelings shit actually works man#anyway please pray for me that i go to sleep some time tonight bc i slept for 5 hours in the middle of the day#after staying up the previous night#and i do not wanna throw my sleep schedule too far outta wack#(i think..i need to watch more movies? less commitment than series but distract me for a good bit. send reqs ig!)
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mingyu is absentmindedly scrolling through instagram reels when he finds a video of a content creator in his kitchen. his caption is simple enough: meals i made for my girlfriend this week.
mingyu watches, slightly bored, as the influencer shows off everything from at-home matcha lattes to vegetable omelettes. he's just about to scroll away when the influencer shows off the last meal: a bento box.
mingyu rewatches that part once. thrice, even. he's had dosirak countless of times before, but this one is different. it's— cute.
mingyu looks up a hashtag of #bentoboxlunch and is absolutely floored. there's rice shaped like sanrio characters, and boiled eggs with nori eyes, and hotdogs cut up to look like octopi!
mingyu, who has always taken pride in cooking for you, in making your favorites of bibim-guksu and jajangmyeon, finds an entirely new purpose.
mingyu blows an inordinate amount of money on supplies. character picks, rice shapers, vegetable cutters. in between schedules, he watches how-to videos. when you're asleep at night or he wakes up earlier than you in the morning, he quietly pads around the kitchen to practice.
mingyu spends a good three or so months stealing away this new hobby, hiding it from you, until he decides his skills are up to par. with the intensity of which he's going about this, you'd think he's competing on master chef.
mingyu who, one morning, nonchalantly informs you, "i packed you lunch. let me know how you like it, okay?" you try to tell him that it isn't necessary, that you're a grown adult, thank you very much, but he pouts and whines until you take the lunch box anyway.
mingyu, whose leg bounces up and down all the hours leading up to noon.
mingyu, who has gotten a lot of praise across his life for many things. his skills as an idol. his physical appearance. but this? the text he gets of you gushing over the puppy-shaped mashed potatoes, over the boiled egg that's been cut to look like cherry blossoms? this is definitely a top five compliment.
mingyu enjoys this way too much. he learns more and more over time. heart-shaped tamagoyaki, doraemon constructed out of seaweed, rice that looks like snoopy. you tell him he's going overboard, doing too much, but how can anything be 'too much' when it's you?
mingyu doesn't even understand why he loves doing all this until, one day, you present to him sandwiches that have been cut in to stars and melon slices that are molded like diamonds. the sandwich is a bit dry, and the melon is out of season, but mingyu doesn't care. it's the best damn meal he's ever eaten.
mingyu, who has to hold himself back from proposing on the spot when you tease him, i love you, i want us both to eat well.
mingyu, who thinks to himself that he would cook for you for the rest of his life, if you'd let him.
#mingyu x reader#kim mingyu x reader#mingyu fluff#mingyu imagines#svt x reader#seventeen x reader#svt imagines#seventeen imagines#svt fluff#seventeen fluff#( i was watching culinary class wars and i was like ok and what about mingyu )#( mingyu discovering bento boxes..... so dear 2 me )#( MINGYU EMBODING ILY I WANT US BOTH TO EAT WELL ...!!! )#୨ৎ muse .ᐟ svt#୨ৎ penned by ylangelegy
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TOP 10 PERSONAL FAVE MOVIES TO WATCH WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE ASS
I don't like movies that stress me out because life is already stressful but I DO love catharsis comedy found family friendship fantasy and violence so here are my top 10 movies and series to have a good time watching
Numbered for convenience but not in any particular order
John Wick 1 and 2: An ordinary man grieving the loss of his wife gets dragged back into his past as a shadowy, invisible world of international killers for hire is slowly revealed to be living among us. A love note to set design, lighting, and choreography. My favourite part is fixating on the symbolism. DO NOT WATCH 3. 4 is okay. DO NOT WATCH 3. There is a dog death in 1 that will make you cry so skip that part if you have to. DO NOT WATCH 3.
The lord of the Rings, all 3, extended edition best watched if you're on the couch with the flu and expect to fall asleep OR if it's your day off and it's raining outside OR if you have like 5 people lounging around in pajamas
Six Underground: Essentially an hour and a half long car commercial music video with found family and a fresher take on acommon plot. Ryan Reynolds essentially writes and directs a Michael Bay movie where 6 independant criminals gather together to overthrow a violent foreign dictatorship. You show up for a dumb heist and walk out ready to build a guillotine. TW for violence, car crashes, chemical warfare, and genocide. A very cathartic ending. Does unfortunately do the whole "vague, impoverished middle-eastern country" thing but the citizens are actually show as human beings which is a nice change of pace and oh wow that's depressing isn't it
The Princess Diaries 1 and 2: A sort-of-a-loser teenage girl, played by a 2001 Annie Hathaway, learns that her late father was a king of a foreign nation and must become a confident and responsible leader for his people. There is a scene in the rain where you will experience emotions. Best watched with snacks. 2 features an enemies-to-lovers type deal with Chris Pine.
Ella Enchanted: A shrek-style semi-musical fantasy romance in which a young woman is cursed at birth to do everything anyone tells her to do. Features several Queen songs and dance numbers sung by Annie Hathaway and that guy who plays the sad dog guy in Hannibal.
Stardust: A huge loser travels from 1800s England (?) to a magical world in order to fetch a fallen star for the insufferable love of his life before she marries a massive douchebag. The huge loser? Charlie Cox. The star? A living person. Also a whole bunch of princes are ALSO looking for them as a race for the throne while discreetly killing each other off. And also a bunch of witches want to eat her so they can be young and sexy. 11/10. I used to watch this 10 minutes at a time on a YouTube channel that posted it in chunks filmed on a digital camera in their living room
The Last Holiday: Queen Latifah, playing someone played by Queen Latifah, has been working an underappreciated minimum wage job for years, living a safe and conservative life trying to lose weight and save money. Then she finds out she has months to live, and decides to finally quit her job and blow it all on one massive luxury holiday vacation complete with five-star dining, making friends and finding love and confidence along the way. It's definitely corny but it makes me so happy thank you Queen Latifah
Zathura: It's the plot to the original Jumanji but in space instead of the rainforest. But listen to me: There's a twist reveal at the end that you need to pretend isn't there. It is vitally important when you get to that part- and you will know what part when it happens- that you pretend it didn't. Otherwise, a fresh and enjoyable adventure for any age!
Redacted cause I haven't seen it in a long time and it may be worse than I remember, gotta rewatch
Bullet Train. You go in expecting a ham-fisted find-the-mcguffin style action comedy and are blindsided by excellent narrative symmetry and genuinely likeable characters. Fresh takes on old themes and creative action sequences. My little brother said "It's good", and he's a man who once sincerely argued that Lord of the Rings could have been better. It's fun and punchy violence with just enough smart stuff to not let your brain get bored
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Sharing ⚔️🐺
w/c: 2.4K
pairing: logan howlett x wade wilson x f!reader
tags: 18+ smut. mmf threesome, pure filth, jealousy, cunnilingus, blowjob, fingering, throating fucking, wade being wade, finger sucking, logan fucks you, unprotected sex (don’t do this!), creampie, cum slurping (??)
a/n: this is my first fic for both characters! watched all the x-men bc of my second rewatch of dp&w and i’m in love w that old man. also this took me a week to write 🧍♀️
you didn’t know how but you somehow were able to get both wade and logan into bed with you.
a dream come true but the downside was the fact they were both acting all territorial and not at all wanting to pull away from you.
when you first started they both wanted to make out with you and you had to switch off quickly before the bickering began. though having them each suck one breast was enough for a short while.
but now logan was devouring your pussy like the starved man he was and although wade let him have a turn first, he grew impatient fast. very fast.
unfortunately his unmedicated adhd was of no help to him and if anything just made things even worse for him.
now he didn't believe in the saying "save the best for last" because he was aching to taste you. he was so fucking hard, he swore it was more painful than having blue balls.
finally, after enjoying the show for a solid three minutes, he groaned and shook logan's shoulder to get his attention. "don't be so fucking stingy old man, give me a turn." wade complained and groaned some more.
logan ignored him and kept his eyes on you, sucking on your clit while he teased your entrance with the tip of his finger making you whine. he moaned against you sending shivers all throughout your body meanwhile wade was all pouts and damn near stomping his feet.
logan continued ignoring him because if he was one thing, it was stubborn.
on the other hand, wade was relentless and wasn’t going to give up so easily, and luckily he knew how to push logan’s buttons.
“come on grandpa, I know you’ll get tired soon enough anyway, just tap out.” wade pestered, earning himself a low growl from the older man.
you could only giggle at wade’s reaction, finding his eagerness to be cute and in a way, needy.
logan on the other hand rolled his eyes and wanted to stab him with his claws somewhere it’d take a while to regenerate just to have more time with his head buried between your thighs, but he opted against it. he didn’t want to ruin your bed with his blood.
"you both said you'd be fine with sharing.." you say and point a finger at them both.
logan looked up at you and you gave him a look, earning yourself an eye roll. he pulled away and groaned, wiping your arousal from his face with the back of his hand before he stands up so wade could take his rightful seat between your legs. "better do it right, bub."
"you bet your ass i'm gonna do it right, just look at this beauty." he says and lets out a little whistle before admiring how you were glistening already.
all wet and ready for him.
"yeah you're gonna have to surgically remove me from this perfect fucking pussy." he murmurs then dives right in while logan comes up at you and curses at him.
you playfully rolled your eyes at him and put your hand on his cheek before pulling him in for a kiss. he immediately kissed back and didn't waste a singular second to slide his tongue into your mouth.
that’s when wade decided to pull your legs up and keep them steady while he lapped at your folds, making you moan in logan’s mouth. he groaned back and let his hands wander over your body, squeezing your tits, hips, everything he could get his hands on.
your hands traced along his pecs, collarbones, then slowly going down as he deepens the kiss — electricity surging through your body, and the overall feeling of warmness radiating off each other was palpable.
you pull away from him so you can see his belt so you can quickly take it off. he took his shirt off while you took the belt off and unbottoned his pants. he sat up and you tried to take his pants off with haste but it seemed wade also wanted your attention on him as he slipped a finger inside you making you gasp.
logan rolled his eyes, letting out a growl as he took his own pants off and throwing them on the floor. he sat up, knees on the bed and spread wide as he grabbed your attention by clicking his tongue, “focus over here, princess.”
it easily got your attention, like a moth to a flame. too easy.
you leaned up and started stroking him through his boxers, he closed his eyes and moaned. you smiled and with one quick movement slid his boxers down making his cock spring up and hit his stomach.
you looked at it speechless and nearly drooling. it was the perfect amount of thick and long, precum leaking down the tip and a solid vein on the side. you tried to sit up a bit but wade’s grip on your legs wasn’t budging so you just began to stroke him.
he leaned down a bit — his eyes back on you — and it was just enough to kiss his tip so you did before tasting the precum and licking it from your lips making him groan. the sight was as good as he imagined it, hell even fucking better.
"fuck-" he moaned and put a hand on your head, urging you to do something.
wade looks up at you then at logan with his eyes rolled to the back of his head and you're just giving him kitten licks. he pulls away from your clit to let out a chuckle then speaks directly at you as he slowly fingers you, "don't tease the old man, baby. we gotta respect our elders."
you looked down at him then nodded — turning your attention back to logan's cock. wade's grip loosened just a tad bit so you could move your body up to try to take his cock in your mouth. you opened wide and slap it on your tongue, not being able to help the urge to tease him anyway.
logan grunted and thrusted his hips forward, "come on bub i'm dying over here." he groaned making you chuckle.
"patience is a virtue." you tease, looking up at him through your eyelashes.
he groans and shakes his head before holding your head still and makes you take the tip inside your mouth. you moan against him and immediately take more of him in your mouth while stroking his shaft. "you know that's not my strong suit, bub."
“and never will be peanut.” wade snickers and slips a second finger inside you.
you moan against logan’s cock and slowly bob your head back and forth while wade tries to match your pace. you quickly notice what he’s trying to do and try to fit more of logan in your mouth but he was just so thick.
he slowly began to thrust his hips forward, making you take it so you just relaxed and let him. you breathed through your nose and brought a hand down to hold one of wade’s. he grabbed it softly and gave it a squeeze while he continued fucking you, a bit faster now.
you reached your other hand up to logan and he grabbed it, rubbing his thumb against your skin while your name slipped out of his lips like a prayer, because he just can’t help it.
your mouth felt so good, so heavenly. he knew this should’ve been done sooner but better late than never.
you closed your eyes and slowly laid your head down on the mattress so he could do the work, you turned your head more to the side and he started going faster. meanwhile wade added a third finger and was matching logan’s pace while he looked at the view with pure lust in his eyes.
“doing so good pumpkin, treating our old man how he deserves huh?” wade purrs making you clench against his fingers.
wade went back to your clit and started sucking then alternating to flicking it with his tongue. you were letting out muffled moans but they were just overpowered by logan’s. he looked down at you and moaned, “atta girl, just like that baby. takin’ it so good.”
“put that mouth to good use peanut, she’s been so sassy with us recently.” wade chimes in making logan chuckle.
“she has, hasn’t she?” he groans and slows down but starts going deeper.
wade matches that as well and that’s when he takes full notice on how your juices were dripping down his fingers, “jesus it’s like niagara falls down here except i could drink this up for the rest of my life.”
logan smirks and finally stops, sliding himself off so you can breathe. you take a deep a breath and wade slips his fingers out of you as well making you whine. he gasps and points a finger at logan, “what kind of sorcery is this?!?!!”
“i want a taste.” he mutters and wade sticks his fingers out earning himself a loud growl.
you roll your eyes and sit up, reaching for his arm before opening your mouth and taking all his fingers in your mouth — tasting yourself while you made eye contact with him.
after tasting all your juices, you pull his hand away with a plop then turn to logan and grab his arm to pull him down before pulling him in for a kiss. you stuck your tongue inside his mouth and before you knew it he started kissing back, able to taste how sweet you are.
you pulled away and laid back down, looking at them both before they exchanged looks, “move over wilson, it’s my turn.” he responds and climbs off the bed.
wade climbs on top of the bed and takes logan’s previous position because he did say he would try his best to share. he never liked sharing any of his toys but with you, it might be different.
unfortunately logan was a fucking liar, and as much as he loved tasting you, he needed to be inside you even more.
he spread your legs and positioned himself to your entrance, teasing you with just the tip while you licked wade’s wet tip. “thanks for warming her up for me, bub.” he says, giving wade a sly wink then sliding inside you with ease.
your walls clamped against him, and you couldn’t help the whimpers that came out. he made himself fit and just slid all the way in, to take in how you feel.
you were so tight, squeezing him to absolute perfection he could’ve sworn he was seeing stars.
you were about to take wade into your head when he shook his head and grabbed your hand, bringing it to his cock, “your mouth can take a small break, cupcake.”
you grinned up at him and began to stroke him, he was also thick like logan. now you were just confused how the hell you didn’t think of doing this sooner.
logan was now slowly starting to fuck into you, just wanting to be as deep as he can be because you just molded onto his cock like a missing puzzle piece. he held onto the back of your thighs and leaned down a little, thrusting back and forth while he held eye contact with you.
you were already teary eyed, looking so fucked out, in bliss. your eyes were fluttering and you could’ve sworn you were dreaming. “how’s that cock feel baby?” wade asked and you just moaned.
he grinned and just watched how you took logan, how your body was reacting to his and how he swore he could cum a whole ocean just from watching.
logan began going faster, having a similar reaction to wade. you looked so fucking pretty taking him, and trying your best to stroke wade. so fucking perfect.
“bet you’re close huh, gramps?” wade cuts his thoughts and he could only grunt. “can’t even blame you really… not at all actually. but we gotta make sure our girl finishes too.” he adds and that he could agree with.
you bring your unoccupied hand down to start rubbing your clit and instantly feel that familiar feeling in your lower belly. “gonna cum for us, baby?” wade purrs and you just nod while letting out mixed moans with both of their names.
“that’s my good girl.” logan murmurs, making you whimper.
“our good girl.” wade corrects making logan chuckle.
“our good girl.” logan grunts, earning himself some desperate little cries from you.
your legs began to shake and you continued stroking wade, going as fast as you could. within seconds you could feel him twitching and logan’s thrusts started to become sloppy. “please cum inside me.” you murmur making both men groan.
with one final thrust, logan released his load deep inside you, your orgasm hit you hard — making you a shaking mess and a mix of moans and cries leaving your lips. meanwhile wade was groaning and spilling his load all over you, some made it to your mouth and some even down to your belly.
the room was filled with loud breaths and the strong smell of sex that just intoxicated logan’s nostrils. he caught his breath and looked down at you, eyes fluttering and a cute little smile on your face.
he slowly brought your legs down, letting them rest on the soft mattress before slowly sliding out of you. you calmed your breathing down and let go of wade’s dick. when you felt logan’s dick slip out, you instantly felt his load come out and drip down to your asshole.
as if a physical light bulb lit up above wade’s head, he quickly got off the bed, and went between your legs and not hesitating for one second to slurp up absolutely every drop of the mixed fluids.
you and logan both looked at him with shocked looks on your faces, absolutely stunned.
he didn’t pull away until you were absolutely clean and no remnants were to be seen. he finally looked up at you both and just shrugged, “when else would i get the chance?”
“we could always do it again?” you offer and shrug, trying to be nonchalant as if your brain isn’t already filled with more ideas.
“do i smell a part two?” wade asks, raising an eyebrow before getting up just to lay next to you while logan did the same.
maybe sharing wouldn’t be the end of the world.
#logan howlett#wade wilson#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett x reader smut#wade wilson smut#wade wilson x reader#logan howlett x wade wilson x reader#deadpool smut#wolverine smut#deadpool and wolverine
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mine, all mine | joel miller
Summary | You & Joel have been skirting around whatever this is for years, until he finally breaks and calls it what it is, in the only way he knows how.
Pairing | Joel Miller x F!Reader
Word Count | 1.2K
Warnings | Post-Outbreak, Jackson!Joel, possessive!Joel, rough sex, spit play, unprotected PiV sex, cumshot, cumplay, dirty talk, emotionally unavailable Joel, it's basically just 1.2k of filth tbh, no use of y/n
Authors Note | This one goes out to @undercoverpena who gave me the means to rewatch TLOU. This was the outcome. Enjoy the filth.
Divider by @saradika
Main Masterlist | Ko-Fi
He’s got your wrists caught together in one of his big hands, pressed down into the mattress to keep you still. Your thighs splayed wide, pressed down almost uncomfortably by the width of his hips. His cock is splitting you open and you’re so impossibly wet that you can hear it whenever he pushes himself back into you. He likes it, wild grin on his face whenever that lewd squelch makes itself known, he likes that only he can do this to you, only he can make you this wet, only he can get you to submit so completely like this.
It’s been two years of this. Two years of being pressed into his bed in the dead of night. Two years of dancing around what this is, but enjoying it all the same. You don’t think you need to label it, complicate it, not when it feels this good. You’d happily go the rest of your days not knowing what you and Joel Miller are if it means he’s going to stay like this. It started as stress relief, a lot like how it had been with the other people here in Jackson that had fallen into your bed - him, frustrated from patrol or whatever it was going on with Ellie, you, frustrated with… well, mostly everything these days. When he’s inside you, there are no frustrations, only the low thrum of pleasure across your skin.
Things have changed though, maybe in the past six months. He stands closer to you when you’re at the bar, sometimes puts a hand on the small of your back when someone else tries to talk to you. Subtle messages that say back the fuck off or she’s mine without needing to put real words to it. He doesn’t say it, even here, when he’s deep inside you, doesn’t beg you to tell him who you belong to, but then you suppose he doesn’t have to - you’ve not fucked anyone else since this started, no-one would hold a candle to him, and you know he doesn’t fuck anyone else either.
“You hear that?” His gruff voice asks, pulling you back to the present as his cock drags from your cunt, pushing back in slowly, and you do, that squelch of him pushing back inside you as deep as he can fit, you throw your head back, moan his name, “Yeah you do,” His face buries into your neck, teeth dragging across delicate skin, “Hear how wet I gotcha?”
You let your eyes open, fluttering slowly to reveal how close he is to your face. He’s so fucking beautiful like this - skin covered in sweat, brows pinched together in pleasure, his scars and his wrinkles visible so closely, the grey in his beard and the smattering of hair on his chest pressed against yours, you won’t ever grow tired of this.
“S-so fucking g-good, Joel.” You choke out on another drag of his cock, tip pressed right against the depths of you, dragging deliciously against that spot inside you.
“I know, baby, I know,” He coos, nudging the side of your face with his nose, hot breath so close to your ear as he continues the languid strokes of himself in and out of your spent cunt, “Bein’ so good f’me.”
His praise never fails to make you preen, face rolling to the side, exposing the side of your neck to him that he hasn’t already marked. You feel the tight grip around your wrists loosen, his hand taking hold of your chin instead, pulling you back to look at him, brown eyes glazed almost black with lust as he looks down at you. There’s something different there this time, sure he’s always been intense, but he’s looking at you this time like he wants to devour you whole - to cut you open and eat you from the inside.
“You’re mine, aren’t you?” He whispers, hand around your face moving to shake you so your focus is on him and not on the way his thrusts have started getting harder, “Say it.”
“M’yours,” You manage to get out, but he shakes your head again, “Yours, m’yours Joel.”
“That’s right,” He bends, hand still gripping your chin, and licks into your mouth, sucking your bottom lip into his mouth, teeth nipping gently, “My girl.”
You almost can’t believe it, like this is some kind of dream, your wildest fantasy come true that he does want you, that it’s not just your pussy he covets but everything else you bring.
“Y-you mean it?” You speak, breathless, “I’m yours?”
You bring a hand up to his face now, cradling a cheek, thumb tracing his bottom lip, but he’s shaking your hand away, his own still tight against your face, “Open your mouth,” but you’re confused about why, so it takes you a while for your brain to catch up, “Open your damn mouth baby.”
This time you do, lips parted, tongue out, Joel’s fingers sitting in the hinges of your jaw, dragging your head forward a little, then, he purses his lips, opens his mouth and lets his saliva drip from his own mouth into your, caught on the flat of your tongue. It’s hot, probably the hottest thing he’s even done. You curl your tongue over it, dragging your mouth closed to swallow it down, then, you open your mouth, stick your tongue back out and look him straight in the eye to ask for more.
“Fuckin’ filthy,” He mutters, but there’s a grin on his face, his cock still pounding into you, the feeling of your slick, made more by what he’d just down, gathering at the base of his cock, dripping down onto the sheets below, “Y’like that, huh?”
“Uh-huh.” Is the only thing you can get out before he’s doing it again, letting his own spit drip from his mouth into yours.
This time though, he doesn’t give you the option to swallow it. He lets go of your face, his tongue melding with yours at the precise spot that his spit had just landed on. It’s a filthy, wet, open-mouthed kiss, saliva gathering in your corners of your mouth as you moan into his when he shifts his hips just a little, tip of his cock now bruising into your cervix on every punch forward.
It happens all at once, his lips dragging from yours, his cock dragging out of your pussy as he pushes backwards, cock in his fist for barely a second before the first rope of his spend is spurting across your soaked and aching folds. Joel lets out a growl as the next lands across the soft skin of your tummy, the next between the valley of your tits. He’s dragging a tight fist up and down the length of his cock, squeezing lightly at his tip to empty himself of every drop of cum, painting your skin with it until he’s softening in his fist and you’re trying to catch your breath.
Joel lets his hands grip your hips, dragging his thumbs through the pools of cum across your lower body, rubbing gently through it to spread it as far as he can, “Look nice like this,” He muses, looking down at the mess he’s made of you, from the aching red hue of your spent cunt, to the milky white splashed across your body, “Mine.” He says, with a tone of finality.
“Yours.”
#Joel Miller x reader#Joel Miller x you#Joel Miller x female reader#Joel Miller x f!reader#Joel Miller smut#Joel Miller#Joel Miller fic#Joel Miller fanfic#Joel Miller fanfiction#the last of us#the last of us hbo#tlou#tlou hbo#the last of us smut#tlou smut#tlou fic#tlou fanfic#tlou fanfiction#the last of us fic#the last of us fanfic#the last of us fanfiction#Joel Miller Pedro pascal#Pedro Pascal#Joel Miller tlou#Joel tlou#Joel Miller the last of us#Joel the last of us
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☆Kinktober 2024☆
Day 19: Sex tape
Pairing: Joel Miller x f!Reader
Warnings: SMUT (18+ MINORS DNI!!!!) fingering, oral sex (m & f receiving), spanking, p in v sex, dirty talk, implied pre/no breakout, if I missed anything please let me know!
You looked directly into the camera when Joel pushed into you.
It wasn’t about putting on a show; it was about creating a show with your naturally occurring responses to his actions.
And based on how easy it was for Joel to pull a reaction from you, it would be quite the display when all was said and done.
“Li’l old for that…” He had hesitated when you brought the idea to him. “Bad for business.”
“No press is bad press, Joel,” you waved off his reluctance with a laugh. “And it wouldn’t be—we wouldn’t put it anywhere. It’s just…a nice thing, for us. To look back at all the ways we make each other feel good.”
You’d never do anything to make him uncomfortable, and if he truly put his foot down, said it was a bad idea and that he wasn’t happy with the concept, you would have let the conversation end there and never brought it up again.
But maybe it was the cool summer air, the waning heat and the beer in his hand; maybe it was because he liked the idea of being able to pull up a clip of you moaning for him whenever he liked; maybe it was just because he loved you—in any event, he smirked, rubbing a calloused hand over his face.
“Alright, sweetheart. Convinced me,” he turned to you, holding eye contact as he sipped his beer. “But I get to decide what, uh—the positionin’.”
You had smiled up at him, cheeks warm.
“Wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Joel propped the camera up on the dresser so that it filmed everything that happened on the bed.
And it did film everything.
His fingers had explored every inch of your skin, groping and squeezing you in his characteristic, gently merciless way.
He’d eaten you out for half an hour, pulling whines from you and soaking his face in your slick.
He made sure to pick the camera up when he used his hands, pointing the lens at your cunt when he slid two fingers into your soaked hole before panning up to your face—the way your eyes rolled back when he hit your tender spot was something he wanted to be able to replay as often as he pleased.
When you went down on him, he put the camera on the edge of the bed, making sure the video captured your lips wrapped around his cock as you knelt between his legs, and the way your tits looked when you let your drool dripped down your chin and over the pillowy flesh.
Joel couldn’t believe he had ever had doubts about this. The fact that he would be able to rewatch himself fucking your face could’ve been enough to make him cum down your throat right then and there.
But he held back until he had you on all fours, facing the camera that he had placed so purposefully back on the dresser.
You moaned lowly when he thrust into you, your body still reeling from the way he’d used his mouth and hands.
Joel tugged at your hips, pulling you onto his cock in slow, deep drags. The tip nestled against your cervix, and the dull pain blossomed into something irresistibly sinful.
You let your head drop, arms all but giving out beneath you as you pressed your face into the mattress.
“C’mon, princess—” Joel rumbled behind you, reaching down to tug you up by your hair, “Smile for the camera, sweetheart.”
You let him manipulate your body, bringing your head back up to force your face into the camera. The pace of his hips increased, and you whimpered through a lazy, desperate smile.
“’At’s it. Tell ‘em how much you love gettin’ fucked,” He tightened his grip on your hair, wrapping it around his fist and pulling. “Tell the camera how much you love this cock, princess.”
“Fuck,” you breathed, his words going straight to your core and working to emphasize the pressure of his thrusts. “It’s—I love it. I love getting fucked, I love it.”
“I said tell ‘em how much you love this cock,” his hand left your hips for a moment, coming down on your ass with a snap before he regained his grip on your side. “How much you love my cock—go’head and say it.”
“I love your cock, Joel, I fucking love it—feels so fucking good. Stretches me so good, I love your cock.” You were whining, rolling your hips in an attempt to match the way he rocked into you.
He laughed, squeezing your side and plunging his cock in and out of you at a ruthless pace.
“Yeah, you do,” he groaned behind you, “You fuckin’ love this cock, ain’t that right? Do anythin’ for a chance to have me fuck you real good.”
“Y—es,” your whimpers were broken, too overwhelmed by the feeling of his cock to form coherent sentences.
Joel let go of your hair, and you whined as your face fell forward onto the bed.
“Keep lookin’ at the camera, sweetheart,” he growled out, “Show the camera how pretty you look cummin’ f’me.” With his newly free hand, Joel wrapped his arm around you to knead your clit in quick circles.
You complied with an eager moan, craning your neck to press your cheek into the mattress, eyes gazing up towards the camera lens. Your pupils rolled back, the pressure from his fingers and the stretch of his cock as he continued to pound into you becoming too much for you to handle.
You came with a cry of his name, arching your back as you clenched around his cock.
“Shit—fuck, yeah,” Joel’s hips stuttered when you squeezed around him, so tight it was almost too much for him. “Show me how much you love my cock, princess, fuckin’—Christ, good girl.”
When you’d stopped trembling, your breath returning in small puffs rather than hectic gasps that carried his name, he pulled out of you.
He moved off the bed to grab the camera, and it was then you realized his depraved intentions.
“C’mere, on your knees,” he fisted his cock with his other hand, “Keep your mouth shut.”
With heavy limbs, you tried desperately to scramble to your knees. It was unceremonious, you looked as though you’d forgotten how to move your body, still hazy with lust, but you managed to position yourself on your knees in front of him.
Joel zoomed in on your face as he continued to fist his cock.
“Show me that smile, baby,” he groaned, gritting his teeth as he tried to stave off release for just a moment longer. “Ask nicely for my load.”
“Please, Joel,” you batted your lashes at the camera, adding showmanship to your degeneracy. “Want your cum. Want you to cum on my pretty face, please.”
Joel grunted, throwing his head back and squeezing his eyes shut before spilling onto your face. He looked down at you to see his spend drip down your cheeks in thick trails, taking his cock and rubbing the tip against your stained skin.
You poked your tongue out, licking at whatever fell near your mouth, and Joel groaned at the sight.
“Pretty.” He breathed, giving the camera one last glimpse before he stopped the video. He threw it onto the bed, quickly returning his attention to you.
He put his hands beneath your arms, hauling you up until he could help you tilt yourself back onto the bed.
You laughed softly, reaching up to explore the gluey mess on your face. You swiped your finger through his spend, skin sticking to skin, and pushed it into your mouth.
Joel ogled you, watching as you played with his cum and eagerly lapped it up. He leaned over you, pressing a kiss to your sticky cheek and licking a stripe up your face to collect anything you missed.
“Told you,” you sighed, “Told you it would be fun.”
“Mmh,” he grunted against your jaw. “Never said it wouldn’t be.”
You hummed in response, letting his tongue trace over your skin.
“Gimme the camera,” he murmured into you, “Watch it with me.”
You reached for the device, placing it onto your stomach where he could grab it.
“Right now?” You asked, intrigued by his impatience and urge to watch the video just as you had stopped filming.
“Right now,” he kissed your temple, grabbing the camera. “Then we’ll make another.”
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